White Magazine | Wedding and Marriage | Issue 31

A LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Hi there! I hope you and your partner have started off the New Year rejuvenated and full of life, prepped and ready for 2016.

Our team is so excited for the year ahead and what’s in store for us personally and as a team! One thing I do know is that two of us are having babies ... the rest of the story is still to be written. The unknown can be exciting for some and scary for others; the difference is in your mindset and having the right people around you to cheer you on in every circumstance and through every obstacle.

Life is a pretty big adventure. You can’t deny it; never knowing what’s around the next corner or over the next hill and one that at times is completely out of our control. I think the secret to not letting anxiety get the best of you is to go with the flow as much as possible. Not every decision has to be a giant leap … teensy steps are OK, as long as they are ones that keep moving you forwards!

At the end of last year we made the decision to turn the magazine on its head! So much focus is put on crafting elaborate wedding celebrations (which we love) but as a couple you need to be thinking of this day as your own personal starting point for the next part of your adventure.

In our hearts, our focus has always been on coming alongside couples to guide and encourage them in their marriage, but we decided that it was time after nine years to truly commit to this! Why do anything if you aren’t passionate about it?

What would be the point? Next minute we had a whole new look magazine, and we're super proud to be presenting it to you now! This is where our heart is at and we hope you love what you see and are inspired on a whole new level!

Marvel at the views, savour the award-winning cuisine and experience your perfect day.

Tiffany’s offers couples a beautiful purpose-built

The Chapel and reception area can seat 120 of

Chapel, with unsurpassed, sweeping views of the

your closest friends and family members in air-

magnificent Glasshouse Mountains. It’s elegantly

conditioned comfort, or you can choose a beautiful

decorated in neutral tones with antique pews,

Garden Gazebo wedding. A truly spectacular and

chandeliers and polished hardwood timber flooring.

memorable wedding day awaits you.

Weddings at Tiffany’s is exclusively yours on your wedding day.

info@weddingsattiffanys.com.au

409 Mountain View Road

weddingsattiffanys.com.au

Maleny, Queensland 4552

07 5494 2825

Australia

ISSUE THIRTY ONE FEBRUARY 2016 publishers luke + carla burrell editor carla burrell

3 11 12

EDITOR’S LETTER CONTRIBUTORS WHITE LOVES

carla@whitemag.com

deputy editor cassandra holland cassie@whitemag.com

part one

18

THE WILD UNKNOWN THE

designed by mezzanine.co ryan stuart, mylan chen-ough, luke burrell

28

guest writers alyshia byrne, emma ford

BUILDING A TRIBE SETTI NG UP A SUPPOR T GROUP AR OUND YOU

34

A THING OF BEAUTY REDEFI NI NG WHAT’S “ B EAUTI FUL”

40

AT FIRST SIGHT THE

48

CAPTIVATING BEAUTY SUB TLE HAI R + SHARP MAKEUP TRENDS

50

SET IN MOTION FLOWI NG FASHI ONS FOR AUTUMN

62

THE WILD ONES FOUR

marketing + pr + sales renee mantle renee@whitemag.com

interns amelia ross, eva irwin, madalynne clifton, mikhayla marxsen

cover photo james frost editorial contributors choechoe brereton, emma plant, erica bartle, jes o’brien, lisa messenger, richard miller, tess guinery photographic contributors alex carlyle, ben sasso, danelle bohane, dylan and sara photography, enchanted wedding photography, heart and colour, james bennett, james frost, joshua mikhaiel, keegan cronin, logan cole, luisa brimble, tyler branch photo creative contributors caked by carissa, chic artistry, elyssa colthorpe, inga campbell - inkling design, jardine botanic floral styling, meredith gaston, nomad styling, she designs, tess guinery, the gray girls, the pop-up wedding co., the reedsmith

subscriptions whitemag.com/shop finance accounts@whitemag.com phone 02 4915 6511 address 61 parry street newcastle nsw 2300

submissions whitemag.com/submissions

established by mezzanine.co ABN 31 725 316 171 ~ ISSN 1834-3589.

While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of information in this magazine, no responsibility can be accepted by the publisher for inaccuracy or for submissions by organisations or individuals and/ or printers’ errors. © 2016 white Magazine (Aust). All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without permission is strictly prohibited.

WHITEMAG.COM NEXT ISSUE ON SALE MAY 2016

ADVENTUR E OF MARR I AGE

LOOK OF LOVE ON YOUR WEDDI NG DAY

“ R EB ELS” OF THE WEDDI NG I NDUSTRY

part two

70 78 86 94 102 110

HANNAH + JACKSON BEATRIZ + MORGAN NISHA + TODD SANDRA + JONATHAN ANNA + ROSS JESSICA + MATTHEW

part three

120

THE LITTLE THINGS JOHN

124

RAW AND EXPOSED B ECOMI NG

130

THE TOUGH TALK EX PLORI NG

132 138

+ MI CHELLE’S ADVENTUR ES OPEN + VULNERAB LE

THE

UNKNOWNS OF MARR I AGE

THE TIES THAT BIND TR UE

HUMAN

CONNECTI ON

STILL THE ONE I LOVE AI LEEN

JERRY

+

INGA CAMPBELL ILLUSTRATOR

ALEX CARLYLE PHOTOGRAPHER

LISA MESSENGER WRITER

LOGAN COLE PHOTOGRAPHER

TESS GUINERY STYLIST

Inga is the talented creative behind Inkling Design, a company that offers art direction, branding, styling, custom illustrations and invitations. Her illustrations have graced the pages of some of the country’s best known magazines, including Elle, Dolly, Inside Out, Girlfriend and Cosmopolitan (Australia and worldwide).

Alex is an up-and-coming photographer with a Diploma in Fine Arts, majoring in Painting and Drawing, as well as a Bachelor of Visual Arts majoring in Photo Media from Sydney College of the Arts. She captures weddings, engagements and lifestyle shoots, and has collaborated with publications like La Souer.

Founder/Editor-In-Chief of The Collective Lisa Messenger started her business life in events and sponsorship, brokering international deals for the likes of The Wiggles, Barry Humphries and Cirque du Soleil, before she expanded to PR and book publishing.

To date, she has also published three books.

Logan is a Los Angelesbased photographer with a heap of well-known clients under his belt, including Mary Kay, Microsoft/Flipbook, Dolce Vita, Beyonce, Sevenly, Living Doll LA and Travel Alberta. He’s also captured editorials for publications such as Rverie, Coco Eco magazine, The G.O.O.D.S magazine, and many more.

Tess is one half of the creative styling duo, The Gray Girls. She has a background in Graphic Design, and a passion for styling flatlays and collaborating lifestyle shoots with other talented artisans. Tess also runs her own eclectic, vintage clothing label alongside her Gray Girls business partner, Sharee.

JAMES FROST PHOTOGRAPHER

CHOE BRERETON WRITER

JAMES BENNETT PHOTOGRAPHER

LUISA BRIMBLE PHOTOGRAPHER

MEREDITH GASTON ILLUSTRATOR

James is an international wedding photographer originally from Cornwall UK. His approach to photography is photojournalistic and discreet, making his images honest and authentic. And in 2014, he was named one of Rangefinder Magazine’s 30 Rising Stars of Wedding Photography.

Choe is a freelance writer who has contributed to publications such as Trouvé, The Collective, Alphabet Journal, Hearth, Fawn, Darling, Cosmos, The Helix, Compassion, Another Escape and Oh Comely, as well as the award-winning anthology, Sound of Silence. She’s also written a kid’s book, A House for Donfinkle.

Based in the Hunter region of New South Wales, James left a career in graphic design to pursue his true passion—photography— and he hasn’t looked back!

He developed a solid grounding in commercial photography before focusing on weddings, and has captured many overseas in Bali, New Zealand and Georgia.

Luisa is a food and lifestyle photographer, and founder of Alphabet Family Journal.

Her work has been featured in Kinfolk Magazine, Frankie Magazine, Cereal Magazine, The Simple Things Magazine, Broadsheet Sydney, The Design Files, Smith Journal, and Hooray Magazine, and she has contributed to a range of renowned publishers.

Meredith is a young Australian artist, author and illustrator based in the Blue Mountains, NSW. She has exhibited in high profile Sydney and Melbourne galleries, showing also in Italy, Germany, Hong Kong and the United States. Her work has also been featured in Harpers Bazaar, Luna and Vogue Living, and is commissioned worldwide.

11

contributors

WHITE LOVES

bearded charm

snap happy The Leica M range puts a focus on the functions essential for photography – meaning that the design is clear, while handling is intuitive and simple. This MP Safari edition is the love child of serious photo-technology and artful design that has been “minimalised to perfection” – and perfect it is. leica-camera.com

This isn’t just a newage beauty product, it’s a movement. Beardsley strongly advocates male individuality expressed through facial hair. If you have more than some afternoon stubble, you might need a spritz of their grooming oil! beardshampoo.com

save face For those who prefer to keep whisker-free, Aesop’s Moroccan Neroli Shaving duet provides maximum glide to ensure smooth and soothed skin. Anticipate a warm and exotic fragrance that provides calm and protected skin.

No pash-rash here! aesop.com/au/

love is sweet Whatever your palate, this lady loves to conceive beautiful cakes as spectacular as your wedding. All of Carissa’s creations are made to order and custom-styled. Make sure your first dessert together is one worth Instagramming. cakedbycarissa.com

pretty pouts Laura Mercier is a name and brand known for creating flawless complexions. Her lush lipsticks nourish your lips, enhancing them with rich colour and texture. Spiced Latte is a warm nude that will not bleed or feather, or leave any evidence on the groom’s lips after that priest-appointed pash! lauramercier.com

crowning glory Whether you choose to celebrate your royalty with a crown, or purity with a veil, Mignonne Handmade has something “adorn-able” for you. mignonnehandmade.com

enchanting tulle Tutu du Monde sews handfuls of love and tulle into each piece from their Sydney home. Their range of whimsical and ethereal dresses have us ever pining for get-ups in grownup sizes. tutudumonde.com

prints charming Coocachuu is a Melbourne-based stationery company known for intuitive and impactful designs. They have a reputation for creating appealing invitations and memorable calendars.

Even if you don’t have an event on the horizon, you can purchase their pretty designs to pin on your walls.

Their prints are produced on 300gsm recycled off-white paper stock, evoking a whimsical mood. coocachuu.com

13

white loves

WHITE LOVES satchel sidekick Sancia was born on the road, somewhere between sunny Mexico and the Indian Ocean.

Their latest collection breathes understated luxury and bohemian charm, using high quality leather. Having this beauty at your side might give your maid of honour a run for her money! sancia.com.au

step up Inspired by the rich New England Heritage of their company, Timberland crafts quality leather boots perfect for exploring the outdoors. See timberland.com

with the band Coltrane Clay by Triumph & Disaster is for anyone who knows that the best way to get to the dance is to ride along with the band.

Utilizing White Clay and Beeswax, this clay is flexible enough to toss your hair cinematically in the wind, but firm enough to keep your waves in place. triumphanddisaster.com

paper love

bolts of boldness

A special love for typography and a lifetime devotion to paper and stationery lead Sydney-based designer, Leisha, to establish Off On My Bicycle, a company that designs wedding stationery. offonmybicycle.com.au

Lola Varma is the latest in wedding couture. Launching just this month, its founding babes Courtney and Phoebe are all about clean, bold silhouettes and uncomplicated elegance—appealing to the unspoken confidence of forward-thinking women. See more at lolavarma.com

time-tellers With distinct, minimalist designs and quality leather straps, The Horse has quickly become a cult classic. We adore the unique veins running across the face—making every watch one of a kind and ultra-personal. thehorse.com.au

light as a feather These delicate painted feathers dipped in the illusion of gold create a whimsical and romantic wreath perfect for a bohemian wedding. Minted’s invitations are printed on luxe paper, and come with several matching accessories.

Head to minted.com to see more of their designs.

from the earth One Seed is a fragrance that puts you close to the wild heart of nature. Using organic and natural ingredients, each fragrance is inspired by the beauty of life and our connectedness to nature. You can feel as good as you smell too, because One Seed also donates 10 per cent of their profits to charity. oneseedperfumes.com

tied up

fit for a queen They call her “Milliner to the Stars” – and that’s because Viktoria Novak’s opulent Parisian crowns are gracing some of our most beloved celebrities (Jennifer Hawkins, Jodi Gordon, Rachael Finch).

Reminiscent of the gold gilded halls of Versailles, you’ll feel like French royalty on your wedding day donning one of her artworks. viktorianovak.com.au

Zimmermann’s Alchemy Applique Smock Dress is crafted from a white linen blend, with a high-neck button-down front and waist-tie belt. It also features a panelled applique detailed yoke and skirt panel, and has a white dot insert trim in the skirt and sleeve. This soft dress oozes sophisticated femininity, a trait strongly upheld throughout all the pieces under the Zimmermann brand. To see more of the range, visit zimmermannwear.com

15

white loves

WHITE LOVES

dress to impress

lady of lace Ivory white and delicate luxe, For Love & Lemons balances the playfulness of sensuality with the romance of wedding day bliss. With its embroidered fabrics, fine lines and floral motifs, the new bridal collection is destined to bedazzle its admirers.

Visit forloveandlemons.com to view more from their range.

Morrison’s philosophy is all about relaxed silhouettes with a focus on beautiful detailing and luxurious natural fabrics, and that certainly shows in this Tate Dress. The frock is made from gorgeously textured linen with an invisible zip closure at the back. It’s also styled in a flattering shift shape with a slightly fitted bodice, so it gently hugs the feminine frame. To see more of their refined collection, head over to morrisonshop.com

rhode to adventure Rhodes Wedding Co. was born of an adventurous spirit, one that inspires every piece of their one of a kind, hand-carved wedding bands. They will make you wonder how an entire love story can be articulated by a ring. rhodesweddingco.com

all polished up Kester Black polishes are “Five-Free”, meaning they carry none of the nasties, and they are also cruelty-free and certified vegan, so they are completely ethically produced.

They will have everyone asking, “Where’d you get your nails done?” kesterblack.com

botanical beauty This universally flattering tinted day cream enhances any skin tone. Not only does it protect you from the sun, but active ingredients from geraniums, camellias and may blossoms decongest and hydrate your skin, while reducing pore size, healing and soothing. Find out more at grownalchemist.com

one to watch

in full bloom

Komono is a community of dreamers and designers who are dedicated to creating perfectly timed accessories. They are determined to distil fashion, craft and culture down to the most intricate of details. komono.com

Byredo was founded in 2006 by Ben Gorham; a celebrated figure in the fragrance industry. Ben’s perfume range is recognised for its nod to his richly aromatic Indian heritage. Discover more sweet scents at byredo.com

new heights Crafted from lush suede, these Arissa shoes from Wittner are derived from 70s chic, giving them a vintage edge. wittner.com.au

heart of gold Sydney-born Simon Grew has known a fondness of minerals and gems since childhood, and now turns his geologic love into flawless collections. His designs through Grew & Co inspire our postmodern awe. grewandco.com.au

game changer While it is light on the skin, Triumph & Disaster’s Gameface Moisturiser will protect your blushers from the elements. It’s infused with essential oils that give it an earthy “smoke and wood” fragrance. Check out triumphanddisaster.com

sweet dreams Dazed But Amazed create natural, customwoven, vintage washed, 100 per cent pure linen for your little one’s bed. They are ethically manufactured and screen-printed in Australia.

Head to dazedbutamazed.com

17

white loves

THE WILD UNKNOWN “I REMEMBER BEING TERRIFIED OF WHERE MARRIAGE WOULD LEAD ME, BUT IT’S BEEN AN EXTRAORDINARY ADVENTURE AND ONLY BECAUSE THE ONE I SHARE IT WITH HAPPENS TO BE A MAN LIKE NO OTHER.” Words: Choechoe Brereton | Photography: Logan Cole

19

the wild unknown

T

here’s a manor house in southern England, owned and

run by a hardworking hotelier. She keeps the grounds

groomed, the premises spotless, the linen crisp, and the standard of food and service commendably high. It’s an ancient establishment; the broad flank of one wall is densely carpeted with centuries-old creeping ivy while some of the trees on the affiliated 30-acre property look as old as the earth itself. Up from the gentle curve of the land the grandeur of the manor’s venerable masonry rises like a pale, monolithic spirit. You can see it miles before you reach it, set in bucolic surrounds like a timeworn jewel in an emerald cradle. I was married there just over a decade ago, on a day that was uncharacteristically warm for the tail-end of summer. The morning of the wedding was as expected: a dash to the manor before the flowers arrived, a long soak in a clawfoot bath, hair and makeup, lots of ironing. Outside, on an endless rug of verdancy just beyond the manor’s pebbled driveway, male peacocks strutted, concertinaed feathers trailing resplendently. The air was temperate for the approach of autumn, which in some way made what was about to take place seem providential. But I wasn’t thinking about peacocks, providence or the sublimity of the weather; I hardly noticed anything beyond a steadily-growing agitation that needled me from inside. Today would determine forever and there was always a chance forever would disappoint.

I cried. All morning. When my bridesmaids realised I was inconsolable, they called in my husband-to-be who quelled my squall with a few sincere words: “I don’t know what is going to happen beyond today,” he said, blue eyes steady, his hands around mine as warm as mittens, “but whatever happens, we will see it through together.”

In one gently-delivered promise he acknowledged the unpredictability of the adventure to come and proposed a viable way to tackle it. Togetherness has since headed 21

the wild unknown

~ “HAND IN HAND WE HAVE GRASPED FOR THE HEAVENS, ENDURED BLEAK COLS AND BAILED OUR WAY OUT OF DESOLATE MIRES.”

the evolution of our marriage—12 years of sometimes painful maturation, 12 years of leading him through the corridors of my soul. He sees me now as diaphanously as I see him. Our relationship, ever disarming and in many ways extraordinary, has flourished resiliently despite the convolution of the journey so far, from country to country, city to city, challenge to challenge. Even now, home is yet another foreign landscape, currently shrouded in fog with a searching, biting cold that gnaws at fingers as bones are gnawed by a dog. Colorado’s winter has fittingly arrived in a frigid robe of ankle-deep snow, and with it the advance and retreat of yet another year of intense marital delight. Intense, because we’ve worked to sustain a bond proven by adversity to be unbreakable. Delight, because the dozen irretrievable years have been just that: a delight, even through the grim, shadowy stretches. Clearer is the gravity of it all when, in retrospect, it’s easy to agree the terrain we have walked has been less than even. I dare say life would have been far more straightforward had we not been prone to upheaval, nor would it have been such a heartbreaking gauntlet had we never entertained the notion of starting a family. Life would probably have been many agreeable things had our choices led us on a clearer, cushier path.

23

the wild unknown

But would I truly have known then, how impenetrably we could stand? Would I still see my husband as my hero and faithful wingman, the bravest soul I’ve fought beside, the purest heart I’ve ever been given charge of, the most beautiful face I’ve ever kissed? Would I still wear his name like a crown or speak of him with unquenchable adoration?

Would our relationship ever have settled on solid ground had we never closed ranks and authentically become one?

Maybe. Possibly. All I know is that love—no matter how certain in the beginning—can die. Suffusive apathy smothers the fire and drags into question the idealism of longevity.

Couples peer at each other through the silence, secretly longing for the time when conversation was easy, not stilted and threatening as it is now. I meet several women who refuse to talk chivalrously about their men anymore and as many men who daydream about where the magic went.

We are two of the fortunate ones, indivisibly tangled and steeped in wonder. Hand in hand we have grasped for the heavens, endured bleak cols and bailed our way out of desolate mires. It was him and me when we received the terrible news of his father’s death. It was him and me camping two months in a hospital room after I was suddenly taken ill. It was him and me in the grey morning light when I attempted my first fawn-like steps in learning to walk again.

It was him and me when the dream of my first published book came true, and it’s him and me when the wolf of anxiety, loneliness and fear skulks at our door. We stand together, pray together, laugh and openly weep together. Our relationship shrouds a quiet awe that grows more obstinate with the passing of time.

It hasn’t always been this way though. Commitment rarely starts out sure of itself. It has taken time and an almighty decision to anchor us in what feels like a perpetual oasis.

A few years into marriage, when selfishness still leeched

~ “I’M INEBRIATED WITH HIM. CONFIDENT IN HIM. STRONGER BECAUSE OF HIM. A SHADOW WITHOUT HIM.”

25

the wild unknown

on our good intentions, I made a choice to put him first for

A lifetime has lapsed since the beginning. Those volatile

fear of my feral temper marring him forever. I decided to

years of dating with no guarantee we would make it feel like

forgo the fallacy of love being just a feeling and started to

they were lived by someone else. It took five years for my

see it for what it really was: a timeless pledge backed in

husband to propose; five years to be sure he was sure. And

word and action. I practised loving him. Fiercely. Joyfully. He

when he was, he dove in like a fish returning to water, never

reciprocated, growing confident in ‘us’ until his adoration

once looking back. What lay ahead, its shape and form,

became a ceaseless torrent that both staggers and steadies

was as ambiguous to him as it was to me, but his mind was

me still today. It’s hardly a sacrifice to put another first when

already made up to see it through by my side. In retrospect,

they rise each morning with your happiness in mind. A cup

he understood the way more readily than I did. Since then,

of tea prepared before I wake. An extra blanket handed

our conversations about the unknown—life’s perpetual

across just in case I might be cold. A playful smile slow and

blindspot—have been similar to one held by Piglet and Pooh

radiant, an unflinching stare that swallows me whole. I love

so very long ago in the Hundred Acre Wood:

to shrink into him; we click, like Lego. He is deep but no longer fathomless, devoted beyond words. The malady of obsession that consumed us in the beginning is frail and pithy to what time has resolutely forged. I’m inebriated with him. Confident in him. Stronger because of him. A shadow without him.

‘Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?’

‘Supposing it didn’t,’ said Pooh after careful thought.

Piglet was comforted by this.

—A. A. Milne

I expect my isolated meltdown on our wedding day would have been warranted had the man I was to marry been void of a similar calm, assuring wisdom. That’s the thing about adventure, you can never predict where it takes you but you can prepare to embrace, relish, conquer and survive it. About the only essentials we stowed in our toolkit before setting off was a heartfelt vow to always be at each other’s side. It was enough. More than enough.

What do I see when I look forward? Much of the same, the unknown is still there, hairy and dark. But I also see a hand

~ “THAT’S THE THING ABOUT ADVENTURE, YOU CAN NEVER PREDICT WHERE IT TAKES YOU BUT YOU CAN PREPARE TO EMBRACE, RELISH, CONQUER AND SURVIVE IT.”

so strong I am compelled to hold it, a heart so rare I can’t help but guard it, a face so kind I am powerless to look to it, a man so exquisite I freely give him my all. Do we disagree sometimes? Yes, totally. Do we ever come hurtling back to earth? Often. It’s essential to sensible things like jobs and paying bills that we do. Has the adventure been good so far?

No, not good—but phenomenal comes pretty close.

27

the wild unknown

BUILDING A TRIBE

A CLAN OF PEOPLE BY YOUR SIDE, SUPPORTING YOU THROUGH THE TRIUMPHS AND TRENCHES OF MARRIAGE, CAN ENRICH THE WORLD AROUND YOU. Words: Erica Bartle | Photography: Luisa Brimble

A

fter a divorce, a little nuclear family can explode into a thousand tiny pieces. It’s mostly “each to their own” as

you try to survive in your own way and put together some semblance of an identity between parental visitations and extracurricular commitments. It can be isolating for a kid as the family’s “circle of friends” disperses and so too extended family relations (Christmas, for example, gets awkward). But into this relational vacuum of diminishing family contact must come something to fill the void; that pining for togetherness, security and to be a part of a community.

In theory, it should be friends. But what if you fear that if they draw too near they will find you disagreeable, not worthy of their time or attention? Or if the closest one moves away with her parents at exactly the wrong time to find a new home in Melbourne?

It was too risky to get other people involved when I was growing up. I even changed high schools and sought to forge a new identity to escape the dreaded dark cloud of divorce and its lingering repercussions: diminishing grades, a dalliance with the wrong boys and teen hair traumas.

Ten years later, enter my husband’s family: a behemoth of a clan that has lived within the parameters of the small mountain top township where I now live. I found this utterly overwhelming initially, given I’d inhabited an apartment shared with my dad

29

building a tribe

and sister for most of my teen and early adult years, and had given little thought to the idea of communal existence beyond the building we inhabited with neighbours we didn’t know and the magazine office where I worked, which was, admittedly, full of young women with whom I shared a common vision; a passion for publishing.

Moving from Sydney to Queensland eight months after we were married, I’d gone from isolated to tribal to isolated again, even though I was completely surrounded by people.

And it completely freaked me out. Not everyone enjoys the

~

company of others en masse, though I’d always found the

“TO HELP US BECOME FULLY FLEDGED,

idea of “The Big Christmas” à la Home Alone appealing.

FLOURISHING HUMAN BEINGS TAKES

So, for the sheer necessity of surviving, I adapted gradually to this new realm where cousins and aunts and uncles and

BELONGING TO A FAMILY, A NETWORK OF FRIENDS AND A WHOLE COMMUNITY.”

friends coexisted by adopting my own friends from outside the family circle and sent out a lifeline via my blog, Girl With a Satchel. I found my tribe.

“When you’re with people from your tribe you can be your true self and you never have to pretend to be someone or something you’re not,” says Rebecca Sparrow, author of Find Your Tribe (and 9 Other Things I Wish I’d Known in High School), who was a kindred spirit to me during that tough time.

“You often share the same values and see the world in a similar way. Your tribe is your soft place to fall, your safety net. They

“I think it’s always important to have both mutual friends and

celebrate your triumphs and comfort you in your darkest hour.

to maintain your own individual friendships,” says Sparrow.

Sometimes they’ll tell you some hard truths (in a loving way).

“While it’s never wise to betray confidences in a marriage, we

They’re your own cheer squad and source of collective wisdom.”

all have times when we need to vent or seek a second opinion.”

After the wedding day, or at some stage in married life, some

The flip side being, what if the tribe turns against you? Cite:

couples—or at least one person in the marriage—can become

Tony Abbott. If we’re to take anything away from the lesson

very isolated, perhaps because one person moves for the other,

of Australia’s former Prime Minister, it’s this: choose your tribe

family relations are strained, illness or job loss besets you or

wisely because they can make or break you.

the wrong words said drive a wedge into outside relationships.

I have seen marriages become unhinged because one

Sometimes personality quirks make starting new “couple

partner allowed someone from the outside to become too

friends” awkward (i.e. “I like you but not your husband”). One

influential in their lives, creating a sort of “us versus them”

person might be particularly shy. Or else you may be the kind

mentality in which the other partner simply cannot win and

of couple who are happy to keep to themselves and play

creating problems where they didn’t before exist (e.g. “Sally

World of Warcraft in your pyjamas all day. Fair enough.

says Nathan unpacks the dishwasher every night!”; “Bret says

Still, the idea that you can feel incredibly alone in your little

they have sex six times a week!”).

bubble of marital bliss is hardly talked about, nor the idea

The “mates before dates” concept does not apply in the

that your spouse should not be burdened with meeting all

context of a marriage. If the people you hang with spend an

your needs for companionship, conversation and closeness,

inordinate amount of time dissing their spouses, having a dig

though they should surely be the primary source, as

at yours or dumping on the institution of marriage, press the

marriages thrive on this intimacy.

escape button. Now.

31

building a tribe

“What’s important is that your partner knows that they are

I consider the bloggers I follow (Hey Natalie Jean and Meet

your priority and that their privacy is always respected,”

Me at Mike’s), the magazines I read (such as this one!), the

says Sparrow. “When you are in a partnership or marriage

music I listen to and my news feed all parts of my larger

you become privy to another person’s vulnerabilities, their

“tribal community”.

secrets, their fears … all that stuff should never be casually shared with friends, even those from your tribe. It breaks an important trust in a marriage.”

Each relationship encounter or exchange of information— whether banter with the local barista, literary discussions with the librarian or a D & M with your best friend—adds spice

To help us become fully fledged, flourishing human beings

to your world, your thinking, your doing, your personality

takes belonging to a family, a network of friends and a whole

and, ultimately, your marriage. They keep you growing. They

community. Increasingly this includes the friends we maintain

can stretch you, teach you and make you sit back and take

via social media and the other sorts of media we consume

the wider view. They keep us from becoming conceited,

that can often have as much influence on our life choices and

disconnected and disappearing up our own rear ends. They

outlook on the world as our families do.

enrich us, our marriages and our world, too.

A THING OF BE AUT Y

EMMA PLANT REDEFINES WHAT’S “BEAUTIFUL”, REVEALING ITS NEW DEPTHS IN MARRIAGE. Photography: Heart and Colour | Coordination + Styling: The Pop-Up Wedding Co.| Makeup + Hair: The Beauty Lineup | Gowns: Jennifer Gifford Designs | Florals: Rose Apple Flowers

B

eauty captivates us. This means we are also captives to beauty. And Miss Molly you can bet your last cent

“beauty” is a good slavedriver. She whispers in symmetry and harmony. She utters sweet musings about how to attain happiness. She invites us into a youthful, perpetual state of glowing. Yet, she sometimes shouts at us like an imperious teacher. One of the notions that our Western, “Disney-dizzied” world perpetuates is, “Beauty is the same as virtue.”

“She lay asleep with her cute button nose turned towards the heavens. Her glossy black lashes reach the stars and her voluminous blonde hair bounces like a fluffy cumulonimbus cloud. When she opens her big innocent eyes and speaks from her unassuming and naive rosebud mouth, only truthful and sweet things escape her lips.” She is a beautiful (Disney) Princess, and the more beautiful she seems, the kinder we

35

a thing of beauty

know she is. Fairytales speak in polarised extremes; beauty is good, evil is ugly. A lot of us grow up on this stuff like cornflakes. Even Tolstoy said, “It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.” But is it a delusion?

Or is there some truth to our notion of beauty found in the glittering fairytales of our youth.

Beauty is a hard word to define. Different cultures hold on to different ideas about it. I have to ask myself truthfully, “What do I say beauty is?” My curated answer sounds smug and nun-esque, “Beauty is on the inside.” This is my go-to answer for a few reasons: One: I don’t want to sound like a smug poetry buff rattling off an Emerson poem. Two: Beauty is a big word, much more so than prettiness or attractiveness.

It has deep cutting connotations of deep, deep stuff (more on that later). Three: deep down or more recently shallow,

wading depth down, I have discovered inner beauty to be the stuff not of dreams but of reality. I can attest to this truthful revelation, if I can call it that, because I was smacked with a big reality-slap in the face from a truthful guy called “Marriage”.

~

Before I was married, I dreamt of my soon-to-be husband

“MY SELF-TALK, MY SPECIFIC EXPECTATIONS

looking at how beautiful I was. “Good God you are stunning! I

AND MY RELIANCE ON EXTERNAL CUES FROM MY HUSBAND UNDERMINED MY SENSE OF FEMININITY … OF BEING WANTED.”

rolling over in the sweet, crackling light of the morn and just am so lucky to be married to such a beautiful girl.” These are the kinds of things I was hoping would come out of his mouth.

After a few moons of marriage, I gave up this Disney-born dream and just hoped I would get one of those “looks”. You know the ones. The look that encompasses a soul’s yearning and unbelievable satisfaction with knowing you’re their chosen partner. The look that can excite you and tell you without words that you are beautiful. I know it sounds humorous as I’m writing this down. It almost sounds a little Derek Zoolander.

I just have to say after much girl banter, this innate longing to feel beautiful and to express beauty is as important as having a job or being alive to most women. It seems to be built into us that “beauty” belongs primarily to women. In other words, we feel femininity and womanhood are measured by beauty.

In my first season of marriage I damaged my happiness. My self-talk, my specific expectations and my reliance on external cues from my husband, undermined my sense of femininity … of being wanted. I did not feel like I beheld the beauty in my marriage. In fact, I felt like a semi-failure as a woman.

Because I didn’t feel like I was beautiful, a part of me felt like I was not meant to be married. Shouldn’t my husband just dote on my beauty? Isn’t that one of the big reasons I got married? It broke a piece of my heart when I felt like I couldn’t be someone’s “one true love”, which I translated to mean, “most beautiful girl he had ever seen and wanted to live happily ever after with”.

Ironically, my husband did think this in his quiet, sometimes daft (but well-meaning) way. He thought, and still thinks I am the most beautiful woman he has ever known. However, “beauty” to him was a package deal; looks, personality, heart, mind and soul—and not in that order. Time after time I have heard my male friends talk about a stunning woman who “once you got to know her … not so pretty anymore.”

There is something quite self-exposing about an unpleasant

37

a thing of beauty

~

personality or insecurity revealing itself in someone’s eyes,

“I FELT LIKE A SEMI-FAILURE AS A WOMAN. BECAUSE

Luckily “inner beauty” is just as revealing too. If you don’t

I DIDN’T FEEL LIKE I WAS BEAUTIFUL, A PART OF ME

believe it so, put on your choice kit and apply your most

FELT LIKE I WAS NOT MEANT TO BE MARRIED.”

lovely makeup, then watch how your sense of beauty changes.

posture and general countenance.

You will start to admire the vision you see. See, it works in reverse too. A sense of outer beauty can change our sense of inner beauty. Inner, outer … they chat to each other. They are mates not enemies. Tolstoy was wrong. Beauty does equate to goodness because they are the same thing. I have come to believe that it’s categorically difficult to separate the notion of beauty from its inner parts. After all, how do we define a word without understanding where it came from?

Perhaps Walt had it right all along.

WEDGWOOD® VERA INFINITY SHOWN WEDGWOOD.COM.AU

AT F IR S T SIGH T

THE LOOK OF LOVE IS A MYSTERIOUS THING. THE EVER-SQUINTY RICHARD MILLER POLISHES HIS SPECS AND GIVES US HIS BEST DOUBLE-TAKE. Photography: Joshua Mikhaiel

T

his might shock you if you’re a romantic, eyes-meet-

across-the-room type, who believes in love at first sight,

but I can’t recall the first time I ever saw my wife. True, I am getting older, and my memory isn’t what it used to be. But, clearly, if I don’t remember it, it’s safe to say I didn’t fall in love. I do remember a time fairly early on in our friendship when she “tripped” at the rollerskating rink—yes, kids, I am so old that I owned a pair of very snazzy purple rollerblades in my youth—and fell in my lap. But first sight? I don’t recall.

I wish I did remember. I’d like to say I thought about it as I stood at the front of the church on our big day, waiting with everyone else for my bride-to-be to make her grand entrance. I’d like to say that as my groomsmen bantered about getaway cars I was caught up in remembering just how she looked the first time I ever saw her, the first time I ever made her laugh, the first time I felt that weirdly pleasant crackle as her hand touched mine.

41

at first sight

To be honest, I was busy concentrating on not being physically sick. (It’s a lot of pressure, standing up in front of everyone you know and love, trying to look nonchalant on the biggest day of your life. Especially when you’re not exactly an up-in-front-of-a-crowd kind of guy.) Rather than daydreaming about the first movie we ever saw together, or the look on her face when I finally presented her with an

~ “AND THERE, AT THE BACK, RADIANT IN WHITE, SHE WAS: NOT THE GIRL I’D FALLEN IN LOVE WITH—AT LEAST, NOT JUST THE GIRL I’D FALLEN IN LOVE WITH—BUT THE WOMAN WHO WAS MY FUTURE.”

engagement ring, I was desperately trying to remember—of course I had, of course I had—whether I’d zipped my fly when I put on my pants.

But then the music finally began, and her bridesmaids stepped elegantly, one after the other, down the aisle, and there, at the back, radiant in white, she was: not the girl I’d fallen in love with—at least, not just the girl I’d fallen in love with—but the woman who was my future. It was a strange feeling. My gut-churning nerves didn’t disappear, exactly. It’s just that I didn’t care about them anymore. I wasn’t worried about my clothes or whether people were watching me. I was looking at her, only her, just drinking her in.

She’d asked both her parents to walk her down the aisle, and they linked arms and came down three abreast. Her father looked less like a happy dad giving his daughter away and more like a security guard who used to cover Led Zeppelin but now found himself working a 5 Seconds of Summer gig. Her mum looked like she was walking her precious girl not to the first day of the rest of her life, but to the last day of her life.

The thing is, I only realised that weeks later when the first of our wedding photos arrived. (If I’d noticed at the time, I would’ve worried that they’d planned for me to have a little accident on my honeymoon—a permanent accident, if you know what I mean.) But it could’ve been Bert and Ernie on either side of her and I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid.

I felt a little bewildered that she’d decided to marry me. Most blokes I know have a sneaking suspicion that every one of us is punching above his weight, but on that day, I felt like a bantamweight taking on a titan. How could it be that such a beautiful and capable and funny and loving woman had chosen to stick with me, of all people?

43

at first sight

~ “SHE WAS NO LONGER MY GIRLFRIEND, OR EVEN MY FIANCÉE. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULD TELL THE WORLD SHE WAS MY WIFE.”

But, over and above and on all sides of that bewilderment,

be mundane; it would be a new day every day. And each day

like a great blue ocean surrounding a tiny volcano, was the

would be better because we were living through it together.

certainty that this was the way it was supposed to be. We

And that turned out to be true.

had talked about this day as the beginning of something: a day to stop and celebrate how far we’d come, sure, but also the first step of a grand adventure that would take us all the way through the fun and fury of life.

So, when we’d said our vows—me very shaky; she solid as a rock—and signed our papers, I glanced at her before we walked the aisle towards our hoard of elated friends and family. She was no longer my girlfriend, or even my fiancée.

It would be exciting, it would be exasperating; it would be

For the first time, I could tell the world she was my wife. It

hilarious, it would be hard; it would be magnificent, it would

was love at first sight.

22 MAY 2015 4.30PM - 8.30PM THE COURTYARD ON DOUGLAS 46 DOUGLAS ST, MILTON

Brisbane’s Original Boutique Twilight Bridal Fair www.thebridesmarket.com.au EARLY BIRD TICKETS ON SALE NOW

BUSINESS FE ATURE

THE ELOPEMENT COLLECTIVE FOR THOSE WHO WANT A MARRIAGE, WITHOUT THE “WEDDING”.

Founders of the ever-popular Pop-Up Wedding

of the community that has gathered around

celebrating it in your own beautiful way. We

Co., Britt and Josh, are reinventing their brand,

pop-up wedding events, and our desire to

want to give our couples that want to elope

focusing on their passion and heart behind why

rediscover what an elopement is. We think

access to some of Australia’s most sought-

they started in the first place. They are all

it’s important to have celebrations that inspire

after wedding talent.

prepped and ready to launch The Elopement

us, to create moments that matter, and to

Collective into the wedding space, a service

be able to share those moments beautifully.

that offers intimate ceremonies for couples

That is what is at the heart of The Elopement

who want the focus to be on the bride and

Collective: inspirational, meaningful, beautiful

groom, not the “glitzy” wedding details.

celebrations of marriage.

Why weddings? When we started The Pop-

What is The Elopement Collective, and

raw, real and exciting. It’s all about amazing

Up Wedding Co. two years ago, we saw a

who is involved? The Elopement Collective

vows and spectacular photos. As the inventors

problem and a solution. The problem was that

is a squad of wedding industry people that

of pop-up weddings we still love and want to

even in such a modern society there was an

create epic elopements. We do three things

continue to create pop-up wedding events,

expectation of how two people in love should

really well: we create epic elopements, pop-

but we’ll also create opportunities for people to

marry. Recreating the traditional elopement

up wedding events, and simple marriage

legally begin their marriage without a show or

brought us to pop-up weddings, where we

paperwork only signings. My husband, Josh

an event, but to just sign the paperwork, and

saw the beautiful and stylish celebration of

Withers, and I are the entrepreneurs behind

exchange their legal vows.

marriage meet efficient use of resources in

the vision, but we’d be nothing without our

a pop-up wedding event. Since then, we

international team of more than 50 wedding

have had the pleasure of seeing hundreds of

vendors. We work with select venues, florists,

couples elope with us and they even get to

stylists, celebrants, photographers and

keep their house deposit or travel savings!

videographers all around the world.

Why did you decide to change from The

What inspired you to pursue this new

Pop-Up Wedding Co.? Creating the pop-up

area? Our heart behind The Elopement

wedding concept has been amazing, but we

Collective is to celebrate marriage in beautiful

can’t help but keep on growing and evolving

elopements. They are about running away

0405 504 053

and that process has brought us to The

from your community’s expectation of how

elopementcollective.com

Elopement Collective. It’s a natural growth

you should form your marriage, and instead,

hello@elopementcollective.com

Describe the services will you be providing couples. We create epic elopements, which involve two lovers, a celebrant, the smallest handful of witnesses, and a photographer.

There’s no venue or furniture; it’s something

Tell us your plans for the future of The Elopement Collective. Our future is fun and clear; we plan to continue recreating what the celebration of marriage looks like, and encouraging couples to join us on this journey.

47

business feature

Photography by Luke & Mallory Photography

C A P T I VA T I N G B E A U T Y SUBTLE HAIR AND SHARP MAKEUP CREATES AN AIR OF ROMANCE AND A SENSE OF CAREFREE ABANDON. Words: Jes O’Brien| Illustrations: Inkling Design

COMES IN WAVES Hair Loads of texture in the roots and brushed out waves in the ends creates a subtle romance. Makeup For this look, it’s all about the wine/merlot lip. Pairing it with soft taupe contoured eyes with lots of mascara and contoured golden peach cheeks adds to the overall feel.

SWEPT UP Hair The messy, textured chignon gives off a slightly “lived in” look. It should be swept over the ears with height in the crown. Makeup Beautiful, clean, sharp black liquid eyeliner with lashings of mascara highlights the eyes. A stain blush and soft, rose pink lip can be applied to soften the look.

49

captivating beauty

SET IN MOTION “AT THE STILL POINT, THERE THE DANCE IS” – T.S. ELIOT

PHOTOGRAPHY JAMES BENNETT jamesbennett.com.au STYLING CARLA BURRELL STYLING ASSISTANTS ELYSSA COLTHORPE, MIKHAYLA MARXSEN HAIR + MAKEUP TANYA – CHIC ARTISTRY chicartistry.com.au FLORALS JARDINE BOTANIC FLORAL STYLING jardinebotanic.com.au MODEL TILLY – CHADWICK MODELS chadwickmodels.com

DRESS JENNIFER GIFFORD DESIGNS jennifergifforddesigns. com RINGS CLAIRE AR ISTIDES FINE JEWELS aristidesfi nejewels. com, APHRA ELLEN − STUDIO MELT studiomelt.com.au

51

set in motion

THIS PAGE DRESS RUE DE SEINE ruedeseine.com EARRINGS + BRACELET + RING SARAH & SEBASTIAN sarahandsebastian.com RING CLAIRE ARISTIDES FINE JEWELS aristidesfinejewels.com O P P O S IT E PA G E DRESS LOST IN PARIS lostinparis.com.au NECKLACE SARAH & SEBASTIAN sarahandsebastian.com RING CLAIRE ARISTIDES FINE JEWELS aristidesfinejewels.com

53

set in motion

THIS PAGE DRESS LOLA VARMA lolavarma.com CROWN VIKTORIA NOVAK viktorianovak.com.au RING BABY ANYTHING babyanything.com.au RING SARAH & SEBASTIAN sarahandsebastian.com OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS FAME & PARTNERS fameandpartners.com.au CROWN VIKTORIA NOVAK viktorianovak.com.au SHOES HOBES hobes.com.au

55

set in motion

THIS PAGE DRESS KAREN WILLIS HOLMES karenwillisholmes.com RING CLAIRE ARISTIDES FINE JEWELS aristidesfinejewels. com RING APHRA ELLEN – STUDIO MELT studiomelt.com.au OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS GEORGE WU georgewu.com.au RING SAMANTHA WILLS samanthawills.com RING APHRA ELLEN – STUDIO MELT studiomelt.com.au RING BABY ANYTHING babyanything.com.au

57

set in motion

THIS PAGE DRESS CLAIRE PETTIBONE – LOVE MARIE lovemarie.com.au BANGLE + RINGS SAMANTHA WILLS samanthawills.com RINGS (THIN) CLAIRE ARISTIDES FINE JEWELS aristidesfinejewels.com OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS LOST IN PARIS lostinparis.com.au EARRINGS SAMANTHA WILLS samanthawills.com RING APHRA ELLEN – STUDIO MELT studiomelt.com.au RING CLAIRE ARISTIDES FINE JEWELS aristidesfinejewels.com

59

set in motion

THIS PAGE DRESS SPELL DESIGNS spelldesigns.com.au EARRINGS RUBYTEVA DESIGN – STUDIO MELT studiomelt.com.au RING JANE HENG janeheng.com RING BABY ANYTHING babyanything.com.au SHOES HOBES hobes.com.au OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS LEANNE MARSHALL – LOVE MARIE lovemarie.com.au

61

set in motion

THE WILD ONES

“CREATIVITY IS THE GREATEST REBELLION IN EXISTENCE” – OSHO. Photography: Alex Carlyle | Styling: She Designs | Florals: Jardine Botanic Floral Styling | Cake: Caked by Carissa | Weave: The Reedsmith

W

e challenged four leading creatives to style a setting

that pushed the boundaries of the wedding sphere.

Together, they crafted an “industrial meets bohemian” scene, showcasing the best of their talents in a collaborative session that was limited only by their imagination. And here they share what’s wild about their work, and what urges them to break outside of conventions.

63

the wild ones

TANIKA REED The Reedsmith I am so inspired by the idea of the natural world enveloping or “reclaiming” its place amongst the materialistic world. It is so beautifully romantic to me—the oxymoron of the wild and uncontrolled beauty of God’s creation, growing over and through the work of human hands. I hope to bring this idea to life through my work. I like to think each weave looks as much alive as the couple standing in front of it. I am obsessed with dimensional layers and sculpture so I try to add as much depth as possible.

I hope my work gives people something wonderful to cherish not only on their big day but also for the rest of their lives. It is wonderful to think of each weave becoming an heirloom piece in that new family, serving as a story to grow with them,

My list of inspiration is endless; I swear it grows quicker

“And this was the weave that hung behind your grandfather

than the weeds in our garden. Fields of flowers and grass,

and I all those years ago in the forest by the lake ...”

Northern America, old book binding, folk music, traditional folk art. My daughter’s colouring in inspired the layered technique I use in each weave.

~ “THE ARTIST IS NOTHING WITHOUT THE GIFT, BUT THE GIFT IS NOTHING WITHOUT WORK” – ÉMILE ZOLA.

JARDINE HANSEN Jardine Botanic Floral Styling My passion for horticulture leads me to emulate nature or a garden that has been allowed to ramble out of the neat confines of a planned landscape in my work. I enjoy using unexpected botanical specimens like sweet pea gone to seed, or aquilegia foliage at the end of the season when it turns a beautiful rusted tone. I am a keen gardener living in the Blue Mountains where I’m able to dabble in growing a variety of cold climate plants that serve as a constant source of inspiration. The forms you see in the limb of a tree or arc of a rose can be so incredible. I love to work with couples that share my aesthetic for wild, natural style arrangements. I relish the opportunity to use particular elements that mean something to the couple.

Often I get chatting and find out that a grandma was known for growing beautiful garden roses or gardenias or geranium, so I like to pull those special elements in wherever possible.

I know I’m biased, but I think flowers are such an important part of the day; they bring people joy and I love how they brighten an event.

65

the wild ones

NINA SKY She Designs The essence of She Designs is that we’re stylists who create on-site. We carefully select our pieces in the lead up to the event but the true magic happens when our team comes together on the day. Sheree or I might have a vision or a wild notion or idea and this is completely fluid until the day we bring the idea to life. We are always creating an entire world for our couples … the “She Designs world”, which is the formation of our wild ideas combined with the work of our incredible team.

I never decided to work in the wedding industry, fate brought me here and now I couldn’t imagine not working in this wild, exciting, love-filled industry. Sometimes I have to pinch

To me, there’s nothing more inspiring than the natural

myself thinking about our work in She Designs. Just recently

environment. I spend my days off exploring rainforests and

we were voted in the top 25 stylists in the world, which was

the bush, discovering waterfalls and finding secret swimming

a real moment for us and I’m especially proud of Sheree

spots. I think it comes back to my Pisces nature; I always feel

starting this business from the ground up and seeing where

the most creative after reconnecting in this way.

we are now.

~ “YOU CAN’T USE UP CREATIVITY. THE MORE YOU USE, THE MORE YOU HAVE” – MAYA ANGELOU.

CARISSA BOLTON Caked By Carissa I love creating wedding cakes that are really personal and unique. No flavour is too crazy; no style is too bold. I adore working with metallics, texture, colour and flowers.

My journey with cakes started after making one for my friends Judy and Paddy’s wedding. It was such a fun and decadent cake, and it really reflected the personality of the bride and groom. The cutting of the cake is such a significant part of a wedding. Few people want to take responsibility for someone’s wedding cake, so I make sure everything is set up, styled perfectly and ready to go. People were so excited by the fact that it didn’t look or taste like a standard wedding cake, and it inspired me to continue baking and designing.

The inspiration behind my cakes is nature, design, art and fashion. Colour and flowers are big influences too. But I find that galleries and design stores mainly spark my creativity.

Interior design is really great for developing colour and mood palettes because of the interplay between so many different materials, textures, shapes and colours.

I’m slowly expanding my business, but at the moment I am focused on creating things I’m really proud of and that showcase my design style.

67

the wild ones

BUSINESS FE ATURE

WA L DA R A LUXURY MEETS RUSTIC AT THIS WORKING FARM WEDDING EXPERIENCE.

Since opening in 2008, Waldara has served

Think rolling green hills, paddocks dotted

caterers, florists, stylists, props and furniture

as a beloved working farm, offering families

with happily grazing animals, lakes and

hire, makeup artists and photographers.

a quiet place for retreat—an escape that

dams, gumtrees, and roses–all engulfed by

“Whatever your style or vision for your day,

embraces fresh air, home-cooked meals and

the sounds of nature. The on-site buildings

Waldara allows you to create a total wedding

quality family time. Located in Oberon NSW,

complement these earthen surrounds, carefully

experience that takes advantage of all the

two-and-a-half hours’ drive from Sydney, the

crafted with large pitched roofs, lots of

property has to offer. Our versatile venue

venue is run by a close-knit family who have

windows to allow for natural light, open plan

gives you the freedom to create your own

invested a lot of time and energy into crafting

communal spaces and rustic wooden details,

personalised and truly memorable wedding

a breathtaking oasis, and because of their

creating an inviting and homely vibe throughout

celebration, one you and your guests will

efforts, have decided to open the place up as

the venue. Waldara combines rustic elegance

treasure forever,” explains Ellie.

a secluded wedding venue.

and luxury with the joy and warmth of family

Part of the strength and authenticity of Waldara comes from its family dynamic.

and friends, all set against a stunning, natural Australian landscape.

Waldara is driven by the desire to become one of the best destination wedding venues in New South Wales. The team have plans in

Ron and Nikki are at the heart of the venue,

They go the extra mile to make your day

place to transform their shearing shed into a

heavily dedicated to revitalising the site for this

memorable. The team are so passionate

beautiful wet weather venue, creating more

new wedding venture. They are accompanied

about weddings, and love assisting clients to

options for couples to hold their ceremony or

by their daughter, Ellie, and Amie, who act

their full capacity, whether it be helping them

reception. As for the not-too-distant future,

as the venue managers and main liaisons

set up, or taking them on site tours; they

they are keen to build relationships with the

with brides and grooms. “We are new to the

are willing to go above and beyond. “It is an

best vendors, caterers and suppliers so that

wedding business and are enjoying learning

honour to be a part of something as special as

they can provide amazing weddings for couples.

more about the industry. Our strength is in our

your wedding, and we are so excited to think

“We are so excited for more couples and guests

intimate knowledge and love of the property,

that Waldara will forever be the place where

to enjoy Waldara and spread the word!”

allowing us to make sure the farm works

your new journey began,” says Ellie.

perfectly for your special day,” says Ellie.

While being fully committed to assisting

Waldara is a blank canvas wedding venue.

couples, the team at Waldara also allow

It is home to two stunning accommodation

them the freedom to create their own

sites and a purpose-built reception hall, all

bespoke wedding. Styling and decoration

0475981571

surrounded by a plethora of inviting natural

isn’t supplied, but they do have an extensive

bookings@waldara.com.au

grounds to host the perfect outdoor ceremony.

list of local suppliers on-hand, including

waldara.com.au

69

business feature

Photography by Tim Williams Photography

HANNAH + JACKSON A U S T R A L I A

“ABOVE ALL, I PROMISE TO LOVE YOU FIERCELY AND DEEPLY FOR THE REST OF OUR DAYS.” PHOTOGRAPHY Enchanted Wedding Photography DESIGN + STYLING Nomad Styling

71

hannah + jackson

DEAR JACKSON I love the life we’ve created together and I

I promise that I’ll always support you. I will

couldn’t imagine a world without you in it.

always put you first and above all else I’ll

I’m so excited to see what life has in store

ensure that you receive the love that you

for us because you make all the pretty things

deserve. I know that as we grow older we’ll

in life beautiful. I’m looking forward to watching

continue to make the best team and we’ll

you love and care for our children. I know you

always be able to make each other happy,

will always keep us safe. I know a life with

regardless of what life throws at us. I promise

you will always consist of exciting adventures,

to always kiss you hello and goodbye. But

continuous laughs and unconditional love. I

above all I promise to love you fiercely and

hope that all of your dreams come true and

deeply for the rest of our days.

73

hannah + jackson

75

hannah + jackson

DEAR HANNAH My partner in crime! Marrying you was the smartest thing I’ve ever done. I know we’ll have the happiest and most amazing life together. I promise to always be your biggest supporter.

Being married to you makes me feel like I’ll never be alone and we’ll tackle any obstacle together as a team. I am committed to loving you through the good times and the difficult times. I can’t wait to see you become the most amazing mother to our children. I promise to keep reminding you every day of just how talented, funny and clever you are—maybe one day you’ll finally understand. You make me want to be better every day. I will work hard to always be the man you deserve and to make you as happy as the day I married you. There are so many places in the world that I want to take you, to explore with you. The possibilities are endless and life with you will always be one big adventure. This is only the beginning— the best is yet to come.

CEREMONY + RECEPTION Butterland, Newstead VIC GOWN Linda Gorringe Couture – W ishbone & Ivy SHOES Midas SUIT Suit Shop STATIONERY Peppa Hart FLORALS Katie Marx Flowers, Botanica Flowers CAKE Miranda Jane Cakes

SEE MORE ONLINE

WHTE.CO/ W624 77

E X C L U S I V E C Ohannah NTENT

+ jackson

BE ATRIZ + MORGAN A M E R I C A

“NO MATTER WHAT LIFE THROWS AT US, KNOWING I HAVE YOUR LOVE IS REALLY ALL I NEED IN THIS LIFETIME.” PHOTOGRAPHY Dylan & Sara Photography

79

todd + nisha

DEAR BEATRIZ I’ve always felt that two things truly embody

that we do, we can only grow together in the

a successful marriage—communication and

most profound of ways. There’s no guess

trust. I’ve never really lived in a fantasy world

work—just a solid foundation. I don’t want to

filled with fairytales. Real life doesn’t always

say that I hope we continue down this path

work that way and that’s what makes it

because it’s engrained in who we are. It’s

interesting. The guy doesn’t always get the

something I’ve never quite experienced with

girl in the end and maybe there isn’t always

anyone else and that’s what truly defines

that “happily ever after”. Yet when one is able

us as a couple. No matter what life throws

to fully trust another person wholeheartedly

at us, knowing I have your love is really all I

and discuss anything and everything the way

need in this lifetime.

81

beatriz + morgan

DEAR MORGAN Most people at some point in their lives will come across a partner that for one reason or another they choose to walk into the woods with. With us both coming from the joys and heartache of divorced families, I believe from early on we share the same healthy and practical view about marriage.

Perhaps that’s why we don’t focus so much on talking about our hopes and dreams 50 years down the road. Instead we focus on speaking, and making the decisions from actions that honour our love and gratitude for each other—today. For without a strong foundation, how high can one build before the roof comes toppling down? So cheers to embracing the many life adventures coming our way with open arms, a fair mind and an understanding heart.

83

beatriz + morgan

CEREMONY Pfeiffer Big Sur State Park, CA RECEPTION Deetjen’s Big Sur Inn Restaurant, CA DRESS Free People SHOES The Frye Company SUIT Ted Baker STATIONERY mint.com, Paperless Post FLORALS W ilder Floral Co.

SEE MORE ONLINE

WHTE.CO/ W624 EXCLUSIVE CONTENT

85

beatriz + morgan

NISHA + TODD N E W

Z E A L A N D

“YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND AND I WILL GIVE YOU PERFECT LOVE AND PERFECT TRUST, FOR ONE LIFETIME WITH YOU COULD NEVER BE ENOUGH.” PHOTOGRAPHY Danelle Bohane

87

nisha + todd

THE PROPOSAL We got engaged in July, 2013 while

Todd mentioned to me, “Hey, why don’t we

travelling through Paris with some friends.

get one?” I handed my camera off to Tim

I love the area of Montmartre as some of

and went to join Todd in the frame. I was

my favourite artists come from that region.

smiling away when I saw Nicole’s hands just

We were travelling Europe with our very

jump to her face in a look of shock. I turned

good friends Tim and Nicole and I tend

and saw Todd down on one knee, and the

to photograph them everywhere we go.

next minute he proposed. I was definitely

I found this beautiful alleyway with just

surprised but in the best way possible and

perfect light and suggested I take some

it’s amazing as a photographer to also have

shots of them. I was shooting away and

images of that moment too.

89

nisha + todd

THE COUPLE We have been together for a long time and have a lot of common interests and similar backgrounds. We were best friends before anything romantic was involved and it feels like that made a huge difference. Together we discovered that we share a love of travel, and appreciation for food, design, photography and music. We spend six months of our year travelling for work and at times we also have long stretches of time apart while Nisha is away shooting. When we planned our wedding it was super important for us to have a true fusion of our cultures and we spent a lot of time designing our ceremony with elements of a Kiwi civil ceremony intermingled with details from a Hindu ceremony. Little touches were what we loved the most—the arch at our ceremony was made by Nisha’s father and the marigolds (a traditional Indian wedding flower) were painstakingly grown

by Nisha’s mother and another local family for months beforehand. Danelle was an easy choice for photography; her work is of course incredible and she’s also one of Nisha’s dear friends, along with Lydia Arnold who second shot the day.

91

nisha + todd

CEREMONY + RECEPTION Hedges Estate, Auckland NZ GOWN Tatiana Porembova SUIT Hallensteins Brothers MAKEUP Grayson Coutts RINGS Walker & Hall STATIONERY Mash Type Foundry FLORALS The Blossom Room

SEE MORE ONLINE

WHTE.CO/ W624 EXCLUSIVE CONTENT

93

nisha + todd

SANDRA + JONATHAN S W I T Z E R L A N D

“I’VE BEEN WALKING THROUGH THIS OLD WORLD IN THE DARK, ALL ALONG RIGHT BY MY SIDE, THERE YOU WERE SHINING, MY RAY OF LIGHT” – CITY + COLOUR PHOTOGRAPHY Joshua Mikhaiel

95

sandra + J A ckson

DEAR JONATHAN I think I still can’t fully realise what is

love the way you talk to me, you fight for me,

happening to me. This last year has been

encourage me and push me outside of my

the most beautiful one ever, and I so look

comfort zone. Moreover, I love the heart and

forward to the ones ahead as a married

vision that you have for our marriage, the

couple. I want you to know how much it is

principles that you want us to apply, and I

an honour for me to become your wife and

want to honour you with all that I am and

walk by your side. You’re more than I could

encourage you in your gifts. My wish as we

have ever imagined or hoped for. You fill me

walk together is that we will be a couple that

with happiness and affection. You understand

stays fascinated about the little things that

me, read my heart and serve me in a way I

make a day so unique and full of surprises.

have never experienced before. I love your

I hope that we can be an example to other

heart and I know that you will do everything

couples. You are now my everything and I

you can for us and that is just so powerful! I

cannot wait to share my life with you.

97

sandra + J A ckson

DEAR SANDRA To my beautiful, vivacious and stunning wife!

identity more and more each day. That

I find it hard for my mind to comprehend

we would realise our dreams and desires

how blessed and excited I feel about being

together, and help each other to grow into

your husband. Your sharp mind, tender

the fullness that we were made to be. May

heart and love of adventure continually

our faith bind us continually closer and

enthrall me and I am just so excited to

draw us towards our loving Father, in order

discover those little quirks and things that

that we become more whole and healed

make you come alive. My hope and desire

daily. May the creativity that dwells in both

is that as we grow together, we would

of us be evermore revealed as we get to

uncover each other’s uniqueness and

know each other more profoundly.

99

sandra + J A ckson

CEREMONY Roman Church, Saint-Sulpice, Lausanne, Switzerland RECEPTION Domaine de Plein-Vent, Geneva, Switzerland DRESS Caroline Castigliano – Belle en Blanc SUIT French Connection RINGS Esseiva CAKE Events et Saveurs

SEE MORE ONLINE

WHTE.CO/ W624 EXCLUSIVE CONTENT

101

sandra + jonathan

ANNA + ROSS F R A N C E

“LOVE HARD WHEN THERE IS LOVE TO BE HAD. BECAUSE PERFECT GUYS DON’T EXIST, BUT THERE’S ALWAYS ONE GUY THAT IS PERFECT FOR YOU” – BOB MARLEY PHOT OG R APHY J a m e s F rost

103

anna + R oss

DEAR ROSS To me, marriage is about always knowing

always been so easy, I believe that’s what

that we will be there for each other, that

makes us stronger. You make me laugh

we are a team, no matter what. I know that

every day, and it is your easygoing and

you are by my side. We share the same

relaxed nature that makes you so perfect

morals and beliefs and although we both

for me. You balance me out and make me

have different dreams and experiences

see the glass half full or the funny side of a

in life, we want to share them and go on

situation. I have so much love and respect

new adventures together. We already have

for you and I count my stars every day at

a beautiful family and we have created a

how lucky I am to have you in my life. I want

beautiful home, but I want to expand on

to continue to explore the world with you,

those and continue to be happy in our life.

follow our dreams, and grow as a person

I know that we can achieve whatever we

with you by my side. I know our life will be

set out to do, and even though life hasn’t

full of love, laughter and friendship.

105

anna + R oss

DEAR ANNA As a boy, I spared no thought towards wanting to get married when I grew into a man. I knew that I didn’t want to spend a life alone, but didn’t believe that a life of happiness could be spent with any one person. This all changed the day we met in that pub in Muswell Hill! I could tell from minute one that we had something that not many others could have. There was an ease or immediate comfort around each other. No nerves, no worrying about what to say or how the other would take what we said. It was just so natural, like we had known each other for as long as we could remember. Now that you are my wife, I feel 10 feet tall. Undefeatable and able to overcome any obstacle that life throws my way. I’m not the most religious of people but I’ve said it to you so many times because I really believe it; you are my angel. You’ve been put on this earth to save me and I hope I have for you. I know we will have a long and happy life together, with so much laughter along the way.

107

anna + R oss

CEREMONY + RECEPTION Château de la Queille, France DRESS Rime Arodaky − The Mews of Notting Hill SHOES Topshop SUIT Reiss, Zara RINGS Anna Sheffield (bride), Ruth Tomlinson (groom)

SEE MORE ONLINE

WHTE.CO/ W624 EXCLUSIVE CONTENT

109

anna + R oss

JESSICA + MAT THE W A U S T R A L I A

“WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN DREAMERS, HOPERS AND WORKERS, BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING WE JUST WANT TO BE TOGETHER.” PHOTOGRAPHY Heart + Colour

111

J essica + M atthew

JESSICA’S VOWS I love Matt for his generosity, the way that

always true to his word, if he says he is

he is always thinking about how he can help

going to do something I’ve never questioned

other people, even those he doesn’t know.

that he will. I love the strength and self belief

Matt’s family are some of the most loving

Matt gives me to be able to do whatever I

people I’ve ever met and I am truly lucky to

want. He is my biggest supporter and he

get to be a part of that unit. His love for his

gives me the confidence to strive further

family always makes my heart burst. I love

than I ever would have without him. He is

the way he dances; it brings me infinite joy

also better than I am when it comes to

and reminds me of just how smooth he is.

communication. Our love is his foundation

I love Matt’s nature—how enthusiastic and

and he never wavers, so I don’t either. And

excited he is about life, how he makes me

finally, I’m proud of the way Matt has grown

lighter every day and shows me how to

our business. He has created something

shake off things that don’t matter. Matt is

special and I always knew he would.

113

J essica + M atthew

MATTHEW’S VOWS Jess inspires me every day. I love her outlook on life, to have fun, don’t worry and most importantly be content and present in life.

Jess has opened my eyes to how fascinating life can be! I love that she encourages us as a couple to dream big, aim high and never hold each other back from our dreams. I love Jess’ strength not only as a strong, independent woman, but also as we’ve grown, she even protects me throughout our life. I love that Jess always sees the best in people; she loves to help in anyway and puts other friends’ and family’s needs before her own.

Jess always has my back no matter what, but she will put me in my place when I’m wrong (I hate that she’s always right). But I have so much respect for her because of this! I love that Jessica is the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen and she doesn’t realise it or even care. I love that Jess is entering this marriage with the circle of life in mind and understands the importance of being together forever and never looking back. I love that without her knowing it, she has not only inspired me but has given me the aspiration to be the man I want to be and the husband she deserves.

115

J essica + M atthew

CEREMONY Newrybar Downs, Byron Bay NSW RECEPTION Secret Garden, Byron Bay NSW DRESS Willow SHOES Scanlan Theodore SUIT Calibre BRIDESMAIDS’ DRESSES Manning Cartell GROOMSMEN’S SUITS Ted Baker, Calibre HAIR + MAKEUP Avia Beauty RINGS Island Luxe, Pieces of Eight PLANNING The Events Lounge STATIONERY As You W ish Designs FLORALS Bower Botanicals HIRE + SETUP The Palace & Co, Lovestruck Weddings & Events, What She Said Co

SEE MORE ONLINE

WHTE.CO/ W624 EXCLUSIVE CONTENT

117

J essica + M atthew

BUSINESS FE ATURE

MABLE + GR ACE ARTISANS IN FLORAL WORK, STYLING AND EVENT MANAGEMENT.

“We believe in being honest, loving, and

own, and was chosen as a tribute to her

Louise seems to be able to do everything, and

fair”— it’s these values that serve as the

grandmothers, both of whom played

is super great with setup!” says Naandi.

essence of Mable and Grace, a business

pivotal roles throughout her childhood. “My

offering dedicated floral work, styling and

grandmother on my father’s side was named

event management services. They embrace

Mabel (spelt differently to our spelling). Funnily

a bespoke and quirky design style after

enough, she hated her name, but I love it!

rebranding from Essence Flowers three years

Grace is my middle name and the middle

ago, with owner Naandi at the forefront of

name of my grandmother on my mum’s side,

driving their overall aesthetic.

and also the middle name of one of my aunties

With a background in event management and business, Naandi fell into floral work at the age of 18, and never looked back. “To be

who I am close with. I wanted something that reflected me and my family is a huge part of who I am.”

They all pride themselves on their ability to be unique and aren’t afraid to push the boundaries when it comes to styling. “We embrace any opportunity to explore new and alternative wedding styles and themes and – furthermore – welcome (and rise to!) any challenges to tailor our creations to couples’ personal tastes and visions,” explains Naandi. With an eco-friendly, raw and natural approach to design, Mable and Grace are honoured to assist in making

completely honest, when I got in to floristry

Mable and Grace has a committed team

clients’ weddings an intimate and personal

it was a gap year job and I would have never

of artisans under its belt, all dedicated to

affair full of love, laughter and happiness.

seen myself going down the floristry path.

cultivating meticulous weddings that couples

In fact, I don’t think I had ever really thought

will remember for years to come. They get

about floristry. However, I was lucky enough

to know clients on a personal level, and form

to get a job with my beautiful mentor and

relationships with brides and grooms so that

teacher Naomi when she had Essence Flowers

all of their styling dreams are realised.

in the centre of Busselton. I moved away the following year and was studying business and law, majoring in event management so I suppose I was always destined to start my own business.”

“I have a seriously amazing team! Without them, I couldn’t do what I do. Chrystal, Louise and Tamar are all amazing florists and we each bring our own personal styles and points of strength to the team. For instance, I hate fiddly things

0439 922 426

The name change was sparked by Naandi’s

like buttonholes, but Tamar is a guru at them.

mableandgrace.com

desire to make this new investment her

Chrystal has an absolute flair for bouquets and

enquiries@mableandgrace.com

119

business feature

Photography by Courtney Illfield

THE LIT TLE THINGS AVID ADVENTURERS JOHN + MICHELLE SHARE THOSE INTIMATE MOMENTS THEY SET ASIDE FOR THEIR RELATIONSHIP. Words: Michelle Taylor| Illustrations: Meredith Gaston | Photography: Ben Sasso

RELAX

ROMANCE

WORK

We both enjoy trying new beers

Hopefully this won’t just be a perk of

John and I are both graphic designers

together! Every time we visit a new city,

being newlyweds (we’re still newlyweds,

and we love when we get a chance

we always find a local brewery (or two

right?). We love taking walks together,

to collaborate on something together.

or three) and either get a sampler of

chatting about our days, and holding

We worked together on our wedding

several beers or we each try a beer we

hands. The physical connection brings

invitation suite and it was an amazing

have never had before. We always try

us down to earth from our busy lives and

and wonderful (but stressful!) experience.

what the other person is sampling and

lets us breathe and be with one another.

Agreeing upon the best solution resulted

sometimes end up switching if need be.

Also, walking is a super healthy habit.

in a design that was 100 per cent us.

121

the little things

FAMILY TIME

TRAVEL

ADVENTURE

Almost all of the time, John and I eat

Ever since we first started dating, we’ve

There’s nothing we love more than a

dinner together. Since we’re not earlybirds

loved travelling with each other. We are

weekend camping trip in cool weather.

and we’re apart at work five days a week,

great road trip companions because

Unpacking our cosy (very small) two-

dinner is the only meal we can make sure

we can both sit in silence with each

person tent and rolling out our adorable

we share together. Neither of us are picky

other and enjoy the scenery, or we can

(they zip together!) sleeping bags brings

eaters so we keep it exciting in the

contently listen to endless episodes of

about a refreshing change of pace from

kitchen and try not to get bored eating

NPR’s This American Life or Jake and

our daily lives. It’s a time where we can

the same thing every week.

Amir’s If I Were You Show.

just take it slow and be together.

123

the little things

R AW + E X P OSED

TO BE TRULY VULNERABLE IN RELATIONSHIPS REQUIRES OPENNESS AND BRAVERY IN THE FACE OF FEAR. Words: Tess Guinery | Photography + Styling: The Gray Girls, Alex Carlyle Edited by Jenny Webb

I

t seems ironic for me to be putting words to paper about my good friend “Vulnerable Vivianne” in a time when I am

so intentionally and bravely choosing to not let her rule my life. My current situation sees me dotting the map all over the East Coast with a car full of possessions and a heart full of determination to seize the day, all the while embracing the instability that life with a stuntman husband and two-yearold hurricane brings. Hellos and goodbyes are constant and heartfelt, with all the emotion that comes with each ceremony feeling light or heavy in equal measure when I farewell and welcome my husband as he chases the dream and all its erratic scheduling. Yep, life is a hurricane.

I still haven’t figured out what vulnerability truly is but I warm to the idea of living in a balanced state where I can comfortably be vulnerable without being a hot mess. One of my go-to daydreams is of a community of people doing life together, perhaps living in huts and eating hand-caught fish by a fire under moonlight, no pretence, unscathed by the hustle and bustle of the reality and survival mode we all find ourselves defaulting to. It’s a beautiful thought but difficult to try and apply that same serenity to my current scenario of living-out-of-a-car, mood-swinging toddler, out-and-about husband and my own loopy inner thought life. Reality is grounding, life needs to be lived and boxes need ticking!

That balance of openness in a culture often too busy to deal with honesty of hearts can feel impossible to achieve; underneath us all is likely a storehouse of unshed tears bottled

125

raw + E xposed

~ “IT IS THE MOMENT WHERE OUR TRUE HUMANITY IS PRESENT AND OUR SELF-TAUGHT DEFENSES, DIMINISHED.”

up as we grit our teeth and just “get it done” for years on end.

my dad from the early age of nine, when boys were rapidly

It sometimes feels as though we are discouraged out of any

on my radar. I think dad was well aware of my “heart on my

state of healthy vulnerability.

sleeve” nature and decided that the recital of this profound

Not once in my life have I seen a friendship last where openness has not been a central feature. I’ve witnessed friendships start with small talk and surface level intimacy,

proverb would sink into the fibres of my entire being. And so it felt like the longest wait ever for that true undoing crazy kind of love and found it at the ripe age of 25.

the “what-do-you-dos” and the “where-are-you-froms” that

I remember the earliest scenes when I was falling hard six

never venture to any real sense of intimacy. After a while,

years ago. This sort of consuming infatuation had me doing

these conversations fizzle and you’re left dissatisfied and

cringe worthy things like learning the lyrics to Halo and

unacquainted where it counts. I always try my luck to

preparing to sing it on acoustic guitar to my new-found love

bulldoze into the “tell me something real” zone beyond the

like some grand and original gesture. Thank God for sisters

chitchat—some never return while others engage and begin

that speak truth and who steered me well clear of Nicholas

to gradually leak their own real talk. These moments are

Sparks-inspired crazy. I fell so hard that these soppy ideas

joyful and result in girls’ weekends away, sunburnt as heck,

were considered on the daily. However, despite all my

choreographing dances to Britney and Beyoncé, talking till

gushing and serious crushing, I still found myself with a level

midnight about the deepest emotions and feeling wholly

of caution around my heart. What could have been a level of

vulnerable and exposed as though at the point of no turning

wisdom was perhaps in truth more a fear of really being seen.

back. It’s in these moments that you recognise there are

On the outside, I was showcasing my brightest side to him,

people that still wondrously like even your most unlikeable

yet all the while feeling a strange internal hollowness in what I

traits. You are truly seen—what a scary beautiful thought. It

was contributing. As though I was on show externally but not

is the moment where our true humanity is present and our

fully open inside.

self-taught defenses, diminished.

This one day we thought to conquer the magnificent slopes

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows

of the mountain that sat so quietly behind my parents’

from it”—the proverb habitually spoken from the mouth of

house. We were four months into our relationship and it was clear that this man was crazy about me, and the whole world needed to know it. He wore his vulnerability with confidence, it did not sway and it certainly wasn’t fickle—it was something I had never seen in a man before, attractive as heck! My heart was in awe but my long held struggle with self-worth couldn’t yet believe his beautiful authenticity.

We continued to trek up the 45-degree angle of the mountain side and he ran ahead to a barbed wire fence where he

127

raw + E xposed

decided to lay his body over it. This was not an uncommon

We use whatever is on offer to keep this boat afloat, even

thing to see him acting out strange, daring and wild notions,

if FaceTime is the only tool of choice that lets the distant

but I did wonder what the heck he was doing. As I got closer

convos roll and the motherhood end-of-the-day tears flow.

I realised. He looked at me and said “Climb over”—he was sacrificially laying his body over the barbs to get me to the other side. My heart exploded as I realised to myself, “He is all in”. His patterns of authenticity led me to a place of connection, where I didn’t have to try to be vulnerable because it was happening effortlessly. I accidentally found myself embracing vulnerability as she led me to the most wholesome relationship I have ever experienced.

One year later we were married and I was telling him everything and anything, besotted and entirely exposed to the point of no return. The thing I found most strange in all this was that the more I told him the more he absurdly found me and my million zillion quirks attractively beautiful.

Could it be that vulnerability is actually an underrated law of attraction? Who would’ve thought? Oh the friendships that could be had if we just got real!

He chose to bravely put his heart on the line, looking like a fool among his tribe of bachelors. There was no labour of love too lame for him. I remember him driving off in a car full of lads as he yelled out the window, “Tess, I freaking love you!”. He chose to live unlocked and similarly unlocked something in me. It’s a daily subconscious battle we passionately defend to continue to “unlock” our marriage.

At the end of every trial is always reward. My travelling stuntman finishes his action-packed stint and is back in the day-to-day where we together enjoy the mundane for a change and even find ourselves gasping for air rather than yearning like when once apart. This in itself requires a new level of vulnerability. And so goes the flow of marriage and all its enriching beauty. Oh to be seen and to also see.

In so many subtle and unpaintable ways, I am truly living out my dream with Vulnerable Vivianne faithfully by my side. Perhaps you know her too. Maybe you’re still getting acquainted, or you saw her and ran the other way. Be patient and kind to yourself, taking those scary plunges one syllable of a sentence at a time. Let those golden words tumble out of your mouth and when it happens accidentally, try not to rescue them too quickly.

T HE T OUGH TA L K TAKE THESE QUESTIONS TO START YOUR JOURNEY OF MARRIED LIFE AHEAD OF YOU OFF ON THE RIGHT FOOT. Photography: Emily Fuselier

1

WHAT CAN WE OFFER EACH OTHER IN THIS MARRIAGE?

2

3

WHAT SORT OF MARRIED LIFE DO YOU WANT TO HAVE?

WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL LOVED?

4

5

HOW WILL WE ADAPT TO OUR DIFFERENCES?

WHAT DO WE BOTH WANT OUT OF LIFE?

6

WHAT EXCITES YOU ABOUT THE JOURNEY AHEAD OF US?

7

8

WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL SECURE IN OUR RELATIONSHIP?

HOW WILL WE CONTINUALLY SHOW OUR LOVE?

9

WHO CAN WE LOOK TO FOR HELP ON THIS JOURNEY?

10

WHEN A CHALLENGE ARISES, HOW WILL WE FACE IT AS A COUPLE?

131

11

12

HOW CAN WE PRIORITISE OUR RELATIONSHIP?

WHAT DO YOU PICTURE OUR LIFE TO BE LIKE IN FIVE YEARS?

the tough talk

T HE T IE S T H AT B IND

LISA MESSENGER SHARES THE REAL CURRENCY IN OUR CAREER-FOCUSED LIVES —TRUE HUMAN CONNECTION. Photography: Tyler Branch Photo

133

the ties that bind

I

f I’m ever asked in an interview to put the different parts of my life in order of importance, I say health is number

one, then my relationships and then my business. This always seems to surprise people, as they assume that being a successful woman, business would come first. But that isn’t the case anymore. If I’m not fit and healthy, then I can’t maintain good relationships, be a good boss or lead an inspiring community. And although creating cool stuff, having an impact on my community and fuelling a movement is amazing, when I look back on the really memorable moments of my life (with beautiful people in the world— friends, family, our readers), it’s the times when I’ve had true human connection, like a birthday celebration for my mum, babysitting the boys (Jett and Banjo) for my amazing friends Donna and Scott or just today, when a beautiful magazine reader looked me in the eye and said that they had launched a business after being inspired by myself and the team (incredible!). In relationships, there are many, like the walk on the beach when you clamber over rocks with your dog looking for a new adventure, and when you laugh your butt off with your partner when you make a ridiculous joke that no-one else but you two will find funny. Business is just one

part of the game. The real currency is true, human connection, which incidentally is why I created The Collective—to mesh

~

the two of these.

“I CAN NOW TAKE OFF MY ARMOUR, SNUGGLE IN

I can broker multimillion-dollar deals. I thrive on the massive

SOMEONE’S ARMS AND LET THEM LOOK AFTER ME,

adrenaline rushes, the fist pumping and the power surges.

PROTECT ME AND NURTURE ME.”

But when I’m in that mode, I’m acting from a very masculine energy. For me personally, and I can only speak for myself, I don’t want to bring that forcefulness home with me.

masculine energy all the time, nor does the woman have to seep feminine energy. But it’s not beneficial for you to both

When I’m with my family or in a relationship with a partner

be in one category at the same time. For example, once

I love, I’m happy to not always be “Lisa Messenger the

during a crazy storm, water flooded my downstairs hallway.

businesswoman” (although that doesn’t rule out robust,

I was running around in a frenzy building dams out of towels

philosophical, world-changing business conversations). I

and trying to salvage furniture, while my partner was lying

can now take off my armour, snuggle in someone’s arms

on the bed upstairs laughing and being no help at all. But

and let them look after me, protect me and nurture me. Of

if we’d both panicked it would have been chaos, and his

course, your masculine and feminine roles flip sometimes

lack of concern was infectious. I ended up laughing too as I

between caretaker and receiver. As author and relationship

scrambled around like Noah trying to save him and my dog

coach Rori Raye says, the man doesn’t have to emanate

Benny from the rising waters.

Another book I found very useful, and maybe you will too,

I’m not really into gifts but for me, physical touch, words of

is The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman (it’s sold more

affirmation and quality time are hugely important. This doesn’t

than nine million copies—that’s a lot of couples who struggle

mean you have to find someone with a matching “language”,

to communicate). The premise is pretty simple but was a

but just be aware the L-word is expressed in different forms,

huge “wow” moment for me. In short, Gary argues there are

and the way you express love may not be the same way

five ways that people show love—words of affirmation, acts

your partner does. Sometimes you both have to adapt. I also

of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch.

revisit William F. Harley Jr.’s book His Needs, Her Needs a lot

It’s important to respect your partner’s preferred means of

(don’t be put off by the tagline Build an Affair-Proof Marriage

showing the “L-word”. For instance, you might think he’s

as I resonated with this book even when I was single). The

neglectful because he doesn’t hold your hand walking along

author’s theory is that love is a “learned association”—if

the road, but maybe that’s just not his thing. Instead, he

someone is present enough when you’re feeling particularly

showers you in “acts of service”—to him fixing your car in the

good, the person’s presence in general might be enough to

rain is just as romantic.

trigger that good feeling (which becomes love). The skill is

135

the ties that bind

identifying, listening and observing what makes your partner

applies to nurturing relationships. You have to keep working

truly happy, and then helping to replicate this. Simple really!

at them and exploring them, keeping your heart open, light,

Except many of us are too consumed in ourselves, and

bright, soft and sensual.

somehow miss the needs of our partners.

If you take anything from this piece let it be this: love might

The reason I’m sharing these books (no, I’m not getting a cut

not look like you imagine, it might not look like a movie or

of their royalties!) is that I openly admit that I don’t personally

fit the template you think is acceptable. It might not be the

have all the answers. I’m simply a very willing student, a guinea

fairytale you envisioned when you had your first kiss in a

pig and ongoing experiment. I’m neither a dating guru nor a

woolshed (or wherever you had your first lip lock), but I truly,

psychologist. I know my journey is exactly that—my own—

truly believe there is someone out there for everyone. I love

but the key takeaway here is that I wasn’t too broken to be

the advice that Huma Abedin, Hillary Clinton’s Deputy Chief

fixed nor too old (that sounds hideous doesn’t it?) to learn.

of Staff, was given by her mother. “Take a chance. Don’t be

Writing about love made me remember that it’s an ongoing

afraid of what you don’t know. And don’t fall in love with Plan

journey and it’s important not to become complacent, to

A.” I’m pretty sure she was talking about business, but I think

keep checking your agenda, your behaviour, your reactions.

it’s a perfect attitude to love as well.

If you start a new fitness regime and hit your ideal weight or fastest time, you wouldn’t expect to be able to stop

This is an edited extract from Lisa Messenger’s Life & Love

exercising and still maintain those fitness levels. The same

(The Messenger Group).

STILL THE ONE I LOVE

AILEEN + JERRY: A BLISSFUL UNION. Photography: Keegan Cronin

139

still the one I love

T

he love story of Aileen and Jerry sees a meeting of

opposites, and a unity that spans over more than 60

years. Jerry is the middle son of a tribe of three, raised a few kilometres outside of Culcairn, NSW, on his family’s sheep and wheat farm. Aileen is the daughter of a railway worker,

ring. It needed to be made smaller, so we had lunch at the

an only-child brought up amidst the hustle and bustle—the

Presbyterian Tea Rooms while we waited.”

heart of the local town. Their first encounter, the setting where “farm met city”, happened at the local Presbyterian Church. Jerry was captivated by the way that Aileen so caringly taught the children at Sunday School, and Aileen instinctively knew there was something about Jerry that she was drawn too.

Aileen and Jerry raised their children on a farm in Cobargo, NSW, teaching them strong values by encouraging them to help others through their service to the community. Aileen was a member of the Australian Red Cross and the Country Women’s Association, and won Citizen of the Year at one point. The couple’s helpful nature is a consistent trait passed

The pair wed on May 17, 1952, and Jerry can still warmly

down in their family, one that is well recognised and upheld.

recount how he asked Aileen to become his wife. “We

“I would say the most inspiring thing about my grandparents

organised a weekend in Melbourne. Aileen stayed with a

is how generous they are to everyone. They give so much of

friend and I stayed with my aunt. I went around to where she

their time, finances and wisdom to all. They are super friendly

was staying and got down on bended knee to propose. Then

and very involved in the community, and have left a legacy for

we went into the city to Cattanach’s Jewellers and chose a

generations to come,” says granddaughter Angela.

have been through their share of trials with operating a dairy

~

farm, but one particularly momentous challenge was the day that Aileen gave birth to her son. “My Gran gave birth to my

“AILEEN AND JERRY SHOW THAT MARRIAGE IS A LIFELONG

uncle in the car on the side of the road because they lived on

INSTITUTION THAT MUST BE WORKED AT CONTINUALLY,

a farm and my granddad couldn’t be found, so they left too

WITH A LOT MORE GIVING THAN TAKING.”

late!” says Angela.

If you were to ask Aileen or Jerry how their marriage has stood the test of time and continues to flourish after 60 years, they will give you the humblest of answers. They see marriage as a place of security and happiness, and summarise it as bliss. To meet them is to see a true example

While their service to the community has been particularly

of contentment, with Jerry demonstrating an effortless

inspiring, the most resounding quality of this pair is their

patience towards Aileen, and she him. They are dedicated

character towards each other. It is clear that their marriage

to each other, no matter how difficult things can be at times.

comes first, and with this value, the rest of the challenges of the world simply fall by the wayside. They are able to journey

Aileen and Jerry show that marriage is a lifelong institution

through life’s trials and triumphs together, hand-in-hand,

that must be worked at continually, with a lot more giving

armed with a strong commitment to each other. And they

than taking.

141

still the one I love

A SPECIA L THANKS to all of those who contr ibuted to our K i c k s t a r t e r + 2 016 R e l a u n c h C o l l e c t i o n

We’re so grateful to those who made a pledge to our Kickstarter campaign to take white to the world, so much so that we are dedicating not only this page in the magazine, but this issue to you. It is because of your support that we are now able to create a publication wholeheartedly dedicated to seeing couples’ marriages flourish and thrive. And we are so excited to be taking our message to the world, reaching more couples than ever before! We can’t wait for this next chapter in white magazine’s journey, and we’re so happy to have you, our loyal followers, join us in this new phase.

Cassie Holland

Mezzanine.co

Tess Guinery

Logan Cole

Luisa Brimble

Renee Mantle

The Distillery

Erica Bartle

Ben Sasso

Woodnote Photography

Ryan Stuart

Lisa Messenger

Emma Plant

The Gray Girls

Steve Dubbeldam

Mylan Chen-Ough

Choechoe Brereton

Richard Miller

James Frost

The Robertsons

Adrian + Jordan Fry

Carly

Jai Long

Louise Wormell

Shoot the Groom

Alessandra Thomas

Cathryn May - Sincerely May

Janet Palmer

Lover of Mine

Sophie Baker Photography

Ali Brown

Chantelle Matches Photography

Jannie Baltzer

Lovestoned bridal

Stephanie Patey

Amanda Jennings

Christian

Jared

Luke Kellett

Suzanne Harward

Ashdown + Bee

Danielle Glashoff

Jennie Keogh

Lynnette Lounsbury

Tania Green

Audrey + Angus Weddings + Events

Dannielle Alexander

Jennifer Arcilla Wood

Madeline Druce Photography

Tania Maras

Bek Smith Photography

Eleanor Kalantary

Jonathan David Photography

Natasha Palmer

Tash Lewin

Bekah Sipe

Emma Hampton Photography

Josh Withers + Brittany Snow

Nina Roberts

The Bride’s Market

Bethany Rothe

Erica Bartle

Just For Love Photography

Peter the Fox Photography

Tim Frawley

Better Together Paper Co.

Estella Photography

Kara Le

Phil Carlyle

Trent + Jessie Rouillon

Big Love Weddings + Celebrations

Esther

Karl from the Internet

Poppies for Willow

Victoria Lim

Cait Foxwell

Felicia Khoury

Katrina Nobes

R. Clements

Warped Threads We Are Twine

Cake Ink

Flowertalk

Keegan Cronin

R. Cooper

Candice Lee Bridal

Fox + Rabbit

Kerstin Auer

Rebecca O

Will Chivers

Candice Wilson Marriage Celebrant

Georgia Young Couture

Laura Moss

Rebecca Walsh

Willow Design + Events

Caragh Anderson

Helen + Marty Worrall

Lauren Campbell

Samantha Walsh

and our anonymous backers

143

a special thanks

GOLD WEDDING HIRE

ESTELLA PHOTOGRAPHY

Our gold and copper cutlery is that small touch that will make your wedding feel glamorous and the envy of your guests. Check out our range now to find your perfect fit.

Estella Photography offers fresh, artistic and beautifully crafted wedding photography inspired by your love story.

Shae photographs lovely people in stunning locations for truly special memories.

enquiry@goldweddinghire.com.au | goldweddinghire.com.au

info@estella-photography.com | estella-photography.com

DREAMERS & LOVERS

DANIEL FERRIS

Dreamers & Lovers cater to laidback, bohemian brides-tobe. Based in California, but shipping worldwide, they offer a home try-on program. All dresses are made to the bride’s exact measurements.

Your story is incredibly special. I’m there to understand that—to seek out genuine meaning, to capture honest emotion and beautiful moments. It’s so much more than just taking beautiful images. It’s heart and soul.

hello@dreamersandlovers.com | dreamersandlovers.com

daniel@danielferris.com.au | danielferris.com.au

CARL NAVÈ – INDIVIDUALLY TAILORED

DEB BOOTS LOVE STORIES

Offering bespoke and made-to-measure garments for the most special of occasions, Carl Navè provides the very best in fine tailoring with refreshing, modern detail and an emphasis on style, fit and comfort.

My photography is a blend of documentary, creative and heartfelt portraits to capture a couple’s authentic connection. Allow me to be a part of your love story adventure.

sales@carlnave.com.au | carlnave.com.au

deb@debboots.com.au | debboots.com.au

L&L CO. EVENTS

LIGHT & TYPE

L&L Co. Events plans and creates bespoke, private estate weddings matched with fresh catering menus that reflect each couple’s style. Relax and escape to the Sunshine Coast for a destination wedding.

“I always strive to be great which I believe is vital in providing services that are solid and people will love.”

Nicole offers both natural, candid photography and custom stationery design.

hello@llcoevents.com | llcoevents.com

nicole@lightandtype.com.au | lightandtype.com.au

LILY & TWINE PHOTOGRAPHY

NOOSA WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY

Lily & Twine professional wedding photography will join with you to paint the picture of your day in a way that’s romantic, earthy and heartfelt. Our candid approach leaves you with genuine memories to treasure for a lifetime.

Expect laughter, flawless professionalism and breathtaking results when you book with this internationally recognised photography duo. Available Australia wide and beyond, they capture your “big picture”—the tale behind the wedding.

admin@lilyandtwine.com | lilyandtwine.com

info@noosaweddingphotography.com.au noosaweddingphotography.com.au

SOPHIE BAKER

SUNSHINE & CONFETTI

People are extraordinary; you inspire me. Each of you have a story that I want to tell, a beauty that I want to show, and a unique way of expressing your love that I adore unlocking in front of the camera.

With a passion for design and outstanding quality, we create beautiful wedding stationery that will reflect your style and leave a lasting memento of your day. hello@sunshineandconfetti.com.au | sunshineandconfetti.com.au

hello@sophiebakerphotography.com | sophiebakerphotography.com

145

market place

Win a Rhodes Wedding Co. wedding band, from AU$2,700.

GO INTO THE DRAW White brings together stories of love and life – personal narratives of laughter, romance, oftentimes tragedy, but always hope. We hold marriage up to the light, and use our pages to venture into honest, clever and meaningful conversations about all the unglamorous parts of marital (mis)adventure. white is your companion in the trenches and triumphs of life as a two-person love-troop. Sign up for a 12-month subscription and you could win a custom-designed Rhodes Wedding Co. wedding band in 10k white, rose or yellow gold (stone(s) not included). To go into the draw, enter the code “AYEAROFWHITEMAG“ at checkout.

SUBSCRIBE HERE

WHTE.CO/SUBS

win!

LE T’S GE T SOCIAL WHITEMAG.COM See whitemag.com/win for terms and conditions.