Campus Talk February 2014

www.mycampus talk .com FEBRUARY 2014

CAMPUS TALK IS A COLLEGE STUDENT’S BEST FRIEND

Face to Face Catalyst App Brings Social Network to Real-Life Dating

The MakeUp

Manifesto In the Spotlight Sadie Katz: the Actress, Writer And Producer

V-Day Dates

Gone Bad

From Sound Booth

to CENTer Stage E.G. Daily Shines on NBC’s The Voice

Gadgets • Movies • Celebs • Nightlife • Jokes • Tons of funny stuff 1 Totally useless fact: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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BREAKIN’ IT DOWN!

CONTENTS

GOOD

P24

P10

READING

09 The Bachelor’s

Guide to Growing Up P32 10 15 Lickety-Split Valentine’s Gifts 12 Sadie Katz 14 E.G. Daily 18 A Catalyst Date 24 Kissing 101 32 Horrible Valentine’s Dates 51 How to Find the Best Beauty Deals 67 That Homesick Feeling 68 Make-Up Matters P14

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P52

P17

P48

P30

CLUB PICS

58–64 Club pics are brought to you by mycampustalk.com

Totally useless fact: Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a ‘Friday the 13th’.

breakin’ it down!

P68

FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT 16 20 Rules for Men,

Women and Children 17 Most Ridic Holidays of the Month P12 30 The Man Test 39 Spot the Not 44 Peak Break-Up Times 48 Just for Shoes 50 Gadgets 52 Beauty Reviews 53 Sore Thumbs 66 College Freshman vs. Seniors 70 Flicks 74 Spot the Differences 78 Are These Funny or Sad?

P18

P50 P51 P09

P53

P54

P67

Totally useless fact: Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

P66

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WHAT’S on!

Editors ‘

LETTER Sugar-Coated Candy Lovers It’s not a holiday unless sweets are being sold, and what holiday is more jam-packed with jars of sugar treats and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate than Valentine’s Day. As singles scramble for dates and couples conjure up their best attempt for gifts, Spring Semester hits full swing with midterms hanging dauntingly in the foreseeable future. The pressure may seem heavy at times, but remember to take a deep breath, relax and read Campus Talk.

This month we sit down with actress Sadie Katz to discuss her career, as well as her work on Chavez Cage of Glory. We also chat

with NBC The Voice contestant E.G. Daily about her past work on Pee Wee’s Big Adventure and Rugrats. Look your best with make-up tips and how to find the best beauty deals around. If lack of love has got you down, learn some new methods for dating with the Catalyst app.

Try not to let commercialism get the best of you this month. Enjoy Valentine’s Day if you must, but remember that you shouldn’t need a national holiday to celebrate the way you feel about someone.

Daniel Sutphin

Editor-IN-CHIEF Lauren Douglass

CONTENT EDITOR Daniel Sutphin

art director DANIEL TIDBURY

Graphic Design Jane Dominguez Patrice Kelly Daniel Tidbury

Contributing Writers Marc Douglass Lauren Douglass Daniel Sutphin Kelly Herman Brian Hodges John Scheck Mike Stanley Kevin Pearson Sarah G. Mason Mike Capshaw

FASHIon FEATURES Danielle Boudrea

SPeCIAL PROJECTS

If you have any comments you’d like to share with CT, send them in to mail@mycampustalk.com and you’ll be entered into a drawing to win prizes!!

You may only be entered once, so don’t send us 50 comments thinking you’ll enhance your chances of winning! Employees of Campus Talk magazine, their relatives, their twins from alternate universes and their healthcare providers are prohibited from entering this drawing. Everyone else is eligible to participate… except for pandas. No pandas allowed.

Lauren Michelle Kolansky Sasha Lall

nightlife Paparazzi Jason Frankenfield

Promotions Amanda Liles Karen Jones AnnMarie DeFeo Georgia Summerville

director of advertising Shane Howell shane@whpinc.com

Legal Counsel Gary Edinger

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MARC DOUGLASS

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Full service design studio providing clients with our best creative talents.

february 2014

Publishing division creating the best in college publications to college students.

Connecting students to student properties clear across the country. Traffic is our middle name.

From pens to ping pong tables, our promotional department can handle all of your logo merchandising needs.

Campus Talk is a humor magazine dedicated to relieving students of the pressures of everyday college life. Among essay exams, crowded classrooms, boring professors and messy roommates, Campus Talk offers a welcome diversion for those students “just trying to get away from it all.”

Different viewpoints may grace our pages but may not all represent the opinions of Campus Talk Magazine or its staff. Campus Talk should not be read by anyone suffering from heart ailments, unfunny syndrome or halitosis. All images depicted are purely coincidental.

Copyright 2009. All rights reserved, What’s Happening Publications, Inc.

Totally useless fact: The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

BABY STEPS

The Bachelor’s

Guide to Growing Up

By Kelly Herman

As a single person, I know what it’s like to let things get a little loose – ahem – out of hand. There have been piles of clothes to rival Everest, and dishes filthier than a 13-year-old boy’s search history. What an adult does is face their dirty habits and try to turn make them less-dirty.

For the men out there who are tired of being embarrassed to bring a girl home but don’t know where to start, here’s our Bachelor’s Guide to Growing Up, with age appropriate steps that will get you out of toddler-level grime and into moderately mature territory.

Undergrads (Pre-Associate’s Degree):

You’re figuring out what it’s like to be on your own for the first time. I get it. I bought bags of Blow Pops by the carful just to stay alive during exam week. When it came time for summer classes, I napped through 80 percent of my day and did my homework on the bus.

There is no limit to my understanding of the newly-adult status, but something’s just gotta give when you’re not sure where your carpet ends and walls begin.

You can handle: 1) Putting your dirty clothes in a pile, or hopefully in the hamper. In a pile next to the hamper?

2) Better toilet etiquette. If you can’t aim, lift the seat. If touching the seat is icky: Learn how to aim!

3) Drinking from a cup. You could drink from the container, but you’re running the risk of sharing germs with your roommates now.

Good luck with that herpes and/or mono.

Undergrads (Pre-Bachelor’s Degree):

Life gave you a few lemons, and you made spiked lemonade. Now you’re like half of a real person, so you have to have at least half of the responsibilities of one. Take a few more lemons, as well as a few more good habits.

You can handle: 1) Wearing unwrinkled clothing. When you shower in the morning (which is also a necessary habit), hang your clothes for the day inside the bathroom and let the steam get the wrinkles out.

2) Cleaning (not just Febreezing). This one I am horrible at, so I set a timer and literally race to clean everything in 10 minutes. Lame? Maybe.

(Yes.) Does it work? Yes. (Very yes.)

3) Sleeping regular hours. Despite what others may say, it is possible and necessary to adopt regular sleeping habits so your brain can function like a pseudo-lifelike human, or at least like one working for a degree.

Graduates:

Yeah, you’ve seen things. Heard things.

Smelled things you wish you hadn’t. You’ve got a few degrees under your belt to prove you’ve got what it takes to man up, so it’s about time you started living like it. Just because your résumé looks fancy doesn’t mean your pad does. Or you, for that matter.

You can handle: 1) Using your weekends wisely. Video game binges were acceptable in long-past days; teaching assistantships beckon you at adulthood’s gate.

2) Cooking. Frozen meals do not count. Ramen does not count. Leftovers do not count.

3) Decor. Posters, any kind of posters (but especially ones with naked women on them), aren’t funny or rebellious anymore. Burn them or frame them.

See? That wasn’t so hard. Eventually you’ll be able to let your mom see your apartment without her fainting at the door. Who knows what kind of “friends” you’ll snag with this new, responsible bachelor-y aura about you?

Probably the kind who are happy to be free of the smell of your urine. Go you!

Totally useless fact: The name of all continents in the world end with the same letter that they start with.

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UNAVOIDATINE’S DAY

by Kelly Herman

15 Lickety-split Valentine’s

Gifts It’s that time of year again, when you have to show your affection through contrived gifts and last-minute haikus for your betrothed. This time around, you’ve got a friend in CT, because we’re going to make it easy on all you blokes lacking in a creativity streak. For simple, thrown-together presents that are super swoon-worthy, we’ve got you covered.

Find a map that includes the place where you and your girl first met. Frame it.

Get a romantic book from the thrift store. Use the pages to make origami flowers.

Group them for a bouquet.

Grab some pink-hued paint chips. Cut them into hearts. Use string, glue, and an old wire hanger to create a chandelier… of love. (Or like, if it’s not that serious.)

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february 2014

Gather some broken or used crayons and melt them into one large, heart-shaped crayon.

Buy a painting from a thrift store.

Use stick-on letters to write out a saying or lyrics. Spray paint it white, let it dry, then remove the letters.

Get two mason jars.

Fill them with from -scratch cookie ingredients, or hot cocoa mix. Make them look nice with paint or a ribbon.

Make a piece of jewelry with pretty much anything (see spoon-ring suggestion).

Buy a nice calendar.

Fill it with anniversaries, including first date, first kiss, and future dates.

campus talk

Use a sharpie to decorate a ceramic mug. Put it in the oven, then turn it on to 350 degrees. Heat for 30 minutes, then turn the oven off and let the mug cool inside.

Heat popcorn kernels in vegetable oil in a covered pan. Shake pan gently every few seconds so popcorn doesn’t stick.

Wait until most kernels are popped. Throw them into a separate bowl or container, add a dash of salt, nuts, and drizzle melted chocolate.

Grab a spoon with a decorative handle from a garage sale or thrift store. Curve the end into the shape of a ring and cut off the rest.

10

Strip all the paper off an empty jar. Glue glass beads around the outside. Stick a battery powered candle inside.

Take a picture of the both of you. Put it in a frame, or in a keychain.

Decorate two phone cases, one for you and one for her, each with half of something on it. A heart, a high five, or kissing cartoons (whatever is gonna float her boat).

Find a Scrabble game at a thrift store. Line up letters in blocks of 4x4 (making words, hopefully). Cut out a square from the box to fit under the letters and glue the letters to it. Give as a coaster.

Totally useless fact: You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath.

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Feel fre ment or roommat ’d love to nasty aparytca mpustalk.com, wlde for you. mail@m em off to the wor show th

Need a new apartment or roommate, go to www.collegerentals.com.

Totally useless fact: There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

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Chavez Cage of Glory

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Chavez Cage of Glory For people who aren’t familiar, tell me a little about Chavez Cage of Glory.

It’s a very sweet story with a lot of rad fight scenes [laughs]. It follows the story of a man named Hector Chavez – played by Hector Exchavarria – who is a Mexican internet cage fighting sensation. I play his wife, Gia, and we have a son who’s having heart surgery. It’s a fight story with a lot of heart. Danny Trejo and Steven Bauer are in it, along with a other journeymen actors like Patrick Kilpatrick and James Russo, so it’s a great cast.

How would you say this is different than your typical fighting movie?

There’s something very unique about this film. It’s made for Latino audiences, but the subjects of race or interracial marriages are never mentioned in the film.

That really struck home with me because I have a son who’s half Mexican.

Who is someone who inspires you?

Here’s a fun story: I was at the Olympic Day Spa with my two girlfriends, which is an all-nude women’s spa.

Inside, there’s a Jacuzzi, a sauna, a steam room, and then there’s this thing called a cold dip. My girlfriends and I didn’t want to go near that one because it’s freezing cold. Well, you know who walks in? Lea Michelle from Glee. First of all, she’s naked, so I feel a little intrusive, but you can’t help but look [laughs].

Anyway, Lea Michelle gets up and goes right into the cold dip. There was something about watching her that was really amazing. She didn’t flinch as she got into that freezing water, and there was a part of me that said, “If I want to be as successful as her, it’s that kind of silly determination and focus and fearlessness that I need – it got her to where she is today.”

Sadie Interview by Sarah G. Mason

Katz

Actress, writer and producer Sadie Katz has leapt feet-first onto the Hollywood scene. In response to her most recent project, Chavez Cage of Glory, Katz speaks with me about what it’s like acting alongside Hector Echavarria, shares a funny story about her (naked) run-in with Glee actress Lea Michelle, and gives her thoughts on what it takes to be a successful actor.

Totally useless fact: The longest word comprised of one row on the keyboard is: TYPEWRITER

Is that the kind of strength it takes to be an actor?

Being an actor in this day and age, you can’t be affected by anything that happens to you until you’re ready to let it in. Even lately, when I have different moments walking down the red carpet or giving interviews, I have to be above being affected until the right time comes, like that chance where you have to be affected in your work. When you look at the pros, they’re in their own, strong world.

You aren’t just an actor, though. You’ve also had experience writing and producing.

Yes, my upcoming film called Scorned is being released this February 14 for Valentine’s Day. It stars Anna Lynn McCord from 90210 and Billy Zane from Titanic.

“Scorned” is about a girl who we actually named Sadie [laughs]. She discovers that her boyfriend cheated on her with her best friend and she kind of loses it and sets out to get her revenge. It’s sort of like Misery and Saw mixed together for young people.

Where did the idea for the story come from?

The thing is, I had a boyfriend cheat on me, and my writing partner and I were talking about it. I’m serious, I was really losing my mind about it [laughs], but in some ways it was funny because I was saying so many irrational things like, “I could just kill him right now.”

Somehow, we started talking about that idea. I think there isn’t a girl in the world who, after her boyfriend cheats on her, doesn’t have fantasies of tying him up and torturing him until he apologizes. My writing partner thought I was crazy, but it gave us the idea. campus talk

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the power of voice

Daily E.G.

Interview by Lauren Douglass

the power of voice

E.G. Daily’s voice is taking her far. From her beginnings as the star of Pee Wee’s Big Adventure to voicing cartoon Tommy Pickles on Nickelodeon’s Rugrats, Daily is now using her pipes to win NBC’s The Voice and – hopefully – to do some good along the way. Today, Daily talks with me about her journey to the top, her memorable moments and her big plans for the future.

How has your background in entertaining helped you on The Voice?

My background has really helped me; I’ve used my voice as an entertainer for decades doing voiceover work, using my voice as an actress, as Tommy Pickles, or in Happy Feet, and more. The Voice really tied it all together for me because all of a sudden I got to use my voice and I had this platform where I was finally exposed.

Tell me what it was like to be on the show.

It’s crazy! First of all, I didn’t expect to be on the show. I went to the audition because a friend had signed me up for it and I was intrigued – she’s a woman who I hadn’t known for very long but who really believed in me. I looked at the audition as an opportunity to learn some new cover songs, and I was just doing it for the joy of it. To actually get on the show, it felt like living a dream.

What was your biggest struggle?

Most of the time, it was a complete joy. I was the happiest I’d been in a long time. I would say one of the hardest things was that, here are people you’ve been spending weeks and weeks with all sequestered in a hotel, and you get close to them, and then you find out someone didn’t make it to the next round. It’s hard. As you go on this journey and you win, there are people who don’t win. For me, it was hard seeing friends who didn’t get to follow their dreams further.

How did you prepare yourself to go onstage?

Sometimes I listen to my headset. I listen to pretty, soft music or I’ll play a beautiful Rascal Flatts’ song – anything really moving that gets me feeling good and warm and calm inside.

Then I just try to connect. I try to connect with the hairdressers and the makeup artists. I just try to be human, a human being, and be present in the moment. Then when I get to that place where I’m just calm and present in the moment, whatever nerves I’m feeling aren’t going to be as intense.

What about some of the criticism? How were you able to handle that?

I really appreciate it, actually, because the criticism and the judges are good. All those coaches know what they’re talking about. They’re all experienced and have been doing the show for a while now, so they’re good at discerning your strengths and weaknesses. They can help you grow.

What do you think is the biggest lesson that you learned?

The biggest lesson is that it’s not about the end result. It’s about the journey and challenging yourself. I won because I was willing to risk falling on my face; I was willing to look foolish; I was willing to be courageous at this point in my life and my career. I just said, why not try something else? Why not?

I’ve had a lot of success in other places of my life by just saying why not? This was one more time in my life where I wanted to keep challenging myself. It was an incredible risk, and I won, and I got to sing Breathe on television. I’m so proud of my song, which is actually on iTunes, so people can check it out or download it.

animation right now.

I’m on a TV series that is a recording called Julius Junior that comes out on Nick Jr. I play the character of Little Julius. So just a whole bunch of stuff! Lately I’ve been getting a lot of press from the show, which is a lot of fun. It’s fun connecting with people, and that’s one of the things I love to do.

If you look 10 years down the road from now, what do you wish you will have accomplished?

I want to be doing bigger things, as far as being able to really make an impact. Getting a record deal or an album out isn’t just about me; I’d love to be able to sing at an event that could make a difference for the planet like a charitable event that reaches peoples and helps to fund different projects.

What do you think is the biggest misconception about Hollywood?

I’d say the age conception. People seem to think that you have to be 17 to sing, but that’s what I love about country music – it’s ageless.

I think people want to hear great talent, and they’re not interested in just listening to teenagers. People have great respect for talent, for real artists, and real artists come in any age, any shape, any body, any demographic, male or female.

What is up next for you, then?

Well, I’ve been in rehearsals for some live shows. We’re going to do some local, intimate live shows. I’m also doing some more benefits for animals, because I love animals so much and I wish to help the causes that support animals. I’m doing more movies, a lot of

Totally useless fact: The average person spends 12 weeks a year ‘looking for things’.

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SUPER HELP! MUCH TIP!

r hair Keeping you the is maintained aking m first step in st a good fir impression.

Pushing someone into a pool is never a good idea – unless they deserv ed it!

Buy your mom he ornaments. S ve can never ha too many.

Don’t stop to smell the roses – if you do, you’ll miss out on other trivial moments!

Always show confidence.

Have a toothpick on hand at all times.

Never step on someone’s foot g, without sayin “Excuse me.”

20 Rules

Never borrow someone’s chapstick if you don’t know their full sexual history.

Invest in UFO Always buy detection equipment.

A real man should long subs. You get more food never go without in them! this necessity.

by Kelly Herman

Don’t you hate it when you find an article that says, “Tips Specifically for Males!” but they have nothing to do with being a man at all? Isn’t it tiresome to go through a women’s magazine only to find that none of the “Secrets to Being a Great Girlfriend” have anything to do with being a girl?

Finally, a straight-shooting set of tips geared toward YOUR gender that you can keep on hand! You never know when these tricks might prove useful.

for Men, Women and Children

Don’t ever date someone who’s a jerk.

Buy toilet paper in large quantities; it saves time and embarrassment!

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When you arrive at a travel destination, always unpack all the way.

Do not drink your calories.

Wash your car at least twice a month. You’ll be more confident in a clean car.

Never be the center of attention on the dance floor.

Sit in the midback section in a movie theater. You see better from that spot!

Don’t ever act like a jerk.

Nothing says “trying too hard” like a monogram on a shirt or sweater. Stay away from those!

Listen to non-fiction audiobooks instead of bad radio ads.

Totally useless fact: The symbol on the “pound” key (#) is called an octothorpe.

ANNUAL WHAT?

by Kelly Herman

Most Ridic Holidays of

the Month

FEBRUARY

In the olden days, “the holidays” was a phrase used to describe two months at the end of the year. Not any more! With greater technology comes greater boredom, and a greater need to celebrate the mundane. Mankind has cooked up new holidays to keep you going throughout the year, easing your troubles between Easter and Cinco de Mayo. In true CT fashion, we have compiled the most incredibly weird and unnecessary holidays, in order from “Slightly Acceptable” to “Why on earth would that exist?” Take a look, and jot down your favorites.

6th - Lame Duck Day

11th - Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk Day

18th - National Battery Day

23rd - International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day

20th Hoodie Hoo Day

CT’s Favorite 7th - Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbor Day

4th - Create a Vacuum Day

13th - Get a Different Name Day

Totally useless fact: An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain

28th Floral Design Day

Because this is the creepiest thing we can imagine seeing from behind the hedges across the street. Just add a Reagan mask and you’re set.

9th - Toothache Day

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Dating 2.0 Interview by Lauren Douglass

A Catalyst

Date

How did you get started?

I actually came up with the idea because of how I met my fiancé. I met her at a bar, and though I knew we had a connection right away, we never exchanged anything except for our first names. I couldn’t friend request her on Facebook and I didn’t have her cellphone number. Fortunately, this was during the height of the Blackberry era, so she actually scanned my barcode and we were able to stay in touch that way. Reflecting on how we met, I really wanted to create a service that allowed people to exchange personal information in a non-intimidating way without disclosing their personal social media sites.

You mentioned not intimidating. How do you do that?

We focus on your exact location as opposed to other dating services that focus on your general location. When you check into a restaurant, bar, café, gym or other location, you immediately see a “menu” of everybody there, and you can anonymously like different people at your location. Should they choose to anonymously like you back, you both are notified that it’s mutual and you start instant messaging each other from across the room.

It’s a lot easier to go up to someone when you already know there’s that mutual attraction.

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“There has to be an easier way!” That’s what Peter Simmons – founder of the innovative new app, Catalyst – thought after meeting a woman at a bar but leaving without so much as her last name. It’s moments like these that leave many singletons frustrated, but that’s all about to change. Catalyst is the social network app that’s revolutionizing the world of dating, and Simmons is here to tell us how.

How is Catalyst different from other apps out there?

We focus on your precise tracking location, which is unique. Beyond that, we have a really distinctive take on the profile picture; every 24 hours, users are encouraged to take a selfie of themselves within the app. It’s a fun feature to help you create an ever-expanding social-photo journal of your own experiences.

Plus, who you see in the app is exactly who you’re going to see in real life. That means no old Facebook pictures; it’s really a reflection of how you look that day or that night.

Also, we really embrace our slogan: “The social network that goes out with you.” We didn’t want to brand ourselves solely as a dating service because we have a much broader service in mind. For instance, we also offer a friends feed feature, which allows you to see what your friends are doing on the town.

What about the safety feature?

We focused on protecting the users’ privacy as much as possible; that’s a huge concern for us. You won’t be contacted by anyone unless you have an interest in them first.

You can also block specific users from knowing your location.

Can you explain the anonymity of the app?

The nature of our generation is that we’re much more comfortable existing behind a screen. We really wanted to leverage that comfort zone and then translate it into real-life, social experiences. What you see when you check in is what you would see in real life: That person’s profile for that day and their first name. There’s minimal personal information displayed or exchanged without you first anonymously liking someone.

What about rejection?

How do you want people to handle that?

You don’t have to fear rejection. A user will simply get a notification that someone at their location has liked them, but they have no idea who it is exactly. It’s a great confidence booster for the other person because it’s replicating 8th grade when someone would pass a note, telling you so-and-so has a crush on you. It recreates that excitement when it says you’ve been liked by someone.

Totally useless fact: Ingrown toenails are hereditary

Totally useless fact: Donald Duck’s middle name is Fauntleroy.

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GIving up smoking is the easiest thing...

Trust me, i’ve done it a thousand times!

chartered

i havea full weekend of awesomeness lined up

paper

scissors

rock

some kind of awkward combination of the three due to indecivieness or poor coordination

i have no plans what so ever

when asked what i’m up to that weekend

outcome of rock, paper, scissors

when there’s no food in the house go buy food

Become sad

’ehh’

order food

repeatedly look in the fridge for food that is not there

WHEN YOU’RE SINGLE AND LOOKING

high five whoever got the same grade as you

WHEN YOU’RE OUTsidE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND

WHEN YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP

HOW MANY HOT GIRLS YOU SEE OUTSIDE

when you fail a test

when I say I gotTa go!

I actually need to go

Totally useless fact: Giraffes have no vocal cords.

you are boring to talk to

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WHAT’S YOUR STYLE?

Kissing

101 We decided that for Valentine’s Day, we would scientifically test the hottest kisses out there for sexiness rating on a scale from one to hot. Our sexiest male and female CT staffers went out to the bars and worked over some very unexpected patrons. Some kisses were annoying, some were sexy and some left us wanting to take a shower. But, we had a hell of a time trying them all out.

The Butterfly Flutter Hot Rating: 1

Place your eye really close to your partner’s cheek and flutter your eyelids against their skin/eyelashes in a rapid motion. This is supposed to feel really good, uh… but it is a little too high school for us!

Guys… DON’T USE!

Unless, that is, you want to be seen as a douche!

ONLY TO BE USED ON BOYFRIENDS! Girls…

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The Underwater Kiss Hot Rating: 3

When you want to bring out your playful side, hold your breath underwater and lean in blindly for a wet kiss. *An underwater kiss is little hard to do in a bar, so we improvised.

We poured beer over our heads and went at it.

Guys… Be prepared to be slapped

if you pour beer on a girl’s head.

Girls… If you are brave enough

to try this, wait until the end of the night when he won’t notice that you just poured beer on his head.

The Earlobe Lap & The Nip Kiss Hot Rating: 9 The Goodbye Kiss Hot Rating: 7

Basically, this kiss is supposed to represent your unwillingness to let the other person out of your sight. Grab your partner passionately and move into a strong French kiss. Guys, grab the back of her neck and the small of her back. Girls, grab the back of his neck and one arm. Every couple of seconds, make sure to stop kissing for a second and then go back for more. The end of the kiss should be you slowly pulling back. Works every time!

Guys… Best if used to SHOW

HER WHAT IS TO COME!

Girls… Best if used after he

breaks up with you to SHOW HIM WHAT HE’LL BE MISSING!

The ear is supposed to be one of the most sensitive parts of our body. Carefully and SOFTLY bite with your lips starting at the neck, moving to the ear and finally to their bottom lip. Take the tip of your tongue and make circle movements on the bottom of their earlobe. You should make sure that you exercise control to avoid the loud slurping noises and saliva in their ear.

If you perfect this technique, she’s yours!

Practice Makes Perfect!

Guys…

Girls… If you perfect this

technique, he’s yours!

Practice Makes Perfect!

*We would like to thank all of you man-whores who helped us test out these kisses. By the way, stop calling us… we don’t need your assistance any longer!

Totally useless fact: The pupils of a goat’s eyes are square.

Y R A U R B E F

play with yourself

GO FIGURE

CR O S SWORD

SN OW FL AK ES

C RYPTO QUIP{

SUDOKU

Totally useless fact: Van Gogh only sold one painting when he was alive.

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play with yourself

CRYPTO QUOTE

CRISS CROSS

MAZE Wishing well

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Sticklers

Totally useless fact: A standard slinky measures 87 feet when stretched out.

Y R A U R B FE

you sooooo cheated

WORD HUNT!

FEAR KNOT

MEGA MAZE where’s frank?

Totally useless fact: The highest per capita Jell-O comsumption in the US is Des Moines.

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tic tac toe!

Use this space for TIC TAC TOE, or anything else you can think of to spare the borEdom of class!

Events in Gainesville Feb. 1: Guided Walk at Kanapaha Botanical Gardens Feb. 1-2: Hoggetowne Medieval Faire Feb. 2: Guided Tours at Historic Haile Homestead Feb. 6: UF Symphony Orchestra: ‘Beethoven & Brahms’ at the Phillips Center Feb. 7: Mardi Gras First Friday Downtown Feb. 8: Krasnoyarsk National Dance Company of Siberia at the Phillips Center Feb. 11: ‘Man of La Mancha’ at the Phillips Center Feb. 12: Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra at the Phillips Center Feb. 15: ‘Wolf to Woof’ opens at the Florida Museum of Natural History Feb. 21: ‘Memphis’ at the Phillips Center

Get Out and About!

Spring is an exciting time to be in Gainesville. Between UF sports, concerts and art festivals, there’s always something to do. So take a break from campus and get out and about in Gainesville. For more information and a complete listing of events visit our website.

www.visitgainesville.com 352.374.5260

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Totally useless fact: If a rooster can’t fully extend its neck, it can’t crow.

only joking!

Remember send all jokes to funny@mycampus talk.com and you could win a Campus Talk t-shirt.

A motorist driving by a Texas ranch hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road.

The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.

“Oh, about $200 today,” said the rancher.

“But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I’m out.”

The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.

Q: Why do women spend so much more time on improving their looks rather than improving their minds?

A: Because most men are dumb but very few are blind!

Q: What’s the definition of a male chauvinist pig?

A: A guy who hates every bone in a woman’s body except his own.

“Here,” he said, “is the check for $900. It is post-dated six years from now.”

Totally useless fact: There were always 56 curls in Shirley Temple’s hair.

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?

A: The sex is the same but the dishes keep piling up.

Q: What do you do with a year’s worth of used condoms?

A: Melt them, turn them into tires and call it a Goodyear.

Q: What’s the difference between love and herpes?

A: Love doesn’t last forever.

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how manly are you?

MAN UP! : t s e T n a The Me Than Just Mor s e l c s u M g n i x e Fl

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Totally useless fact: The eyes of a donkey are positioned so that it can see all four feet at all times.

how manly are you?

In our modern, technological society, it’s not uncommon for an adult male to have, um, “overlooked,” and/or “missed out,” on many of the common skills associated with traditional “manliness.”

Author Robert Dodenhoff breaks down many of those skills in an ultimate test of manhood. Never mind sports stats and useless action movie facts, in “The Man Test,” Dodenhoff challenges your knowledge with real categories that make a man, from finance and negotiation to etiquette and domestic skills.

You can find this test and more when you pick up “The Man Test” at Amazon.com for $12.99.

Perhaps the most vital area of etiquette involves the ways in which you handle yourself in business environments. Yes, you might start in the proverbial mail room, but if you

want to succeed in any company, your business manners better reflect the best practices of the boardroom. Making the right impression will favorably impact your ability to get

Answer Key:

Totally useless fact: Worcestershire sauce in essentially an Anchovy Ketchup.

1) False. Even though you’re the customer, if you did the inviting, you should expect to pay. If the vendor insists on paying, however, reluctantly give in – but state that you had expected to pay because the invitation for lunch came from you.

3) (True/False) At business functions requiring name badges, the badge should always be worn on your left side.

5) The most important elements of a proper handshake are A) Neutral expression, wait for him to extend his hand, shake twice B) Smile, grasp palm-to-palm, look the person in the eye, pump three times, say his name C) Smile, grasp gently, look the person in the eye, pump four to five times

2) A. Mr. Senior, executive, this is Mr. Junior Executive. Seniority rules here.

When introducing one or two people to a group, always introduce the “group” to the individual(s). For example, “Bill, Joe, Sarah and Julie, I’d like you to meet Kate.” Follow these rules in social situations: Always introduce the man to the woman, e.g. “Jerry, please take a moment to meet my good friend Jessica.” When introducing two people of greatly different ages, always introduce the younger person to the older one, e.g. “Grandpa, I’d like you to meet my best friend form my school, Joey Smith.”

2) You’re about to introduce a senior executive to a junior executive. It’s appropriate to introduce them in this manner: A) Mr. Senior Executive, this is Mr. Junior Executive B) M r. Junior Executive, this is Mr. Senior Executive C) Start with the person who extends his hand first.

4) Someone is about to give you a toast and everyone begins to stand. You should A) Stand with them as a sign of respect B) Wait to see if the toaster gestures to you to stand C) Remain seated

3) False. When you’re extending your hand for a handshake (and looking to grasp the other person’s), his name tag will be in the same line of sight, making it easier for you to read it without being too obvious.

1) (True/False) You invite one of your vendors to lunch. As you are the customer, it’s appropriate for him to pick up the tab.

4) C. Remain seated. Always remain seated when someone is toasting you, as it’s a sign of humility and respect. To do otherwise, would seem egotistical – as you would be lauding yourself. You should not drink at the conclusion

ahead for years to come.

of the toast either. If you would like to respond by offering another toast, by all means stand up while you are doing it.

– Thomas Sowell, Creators Syndicate

5) B. Smile, grasp palm-to-palm, look the person in the eye, pump three times, say his or her name.

Politeness and consideration for others is like investing pennies and getting dollars back.

When shaking hands, be sure to greet the other person by name, such as, “Very nice to meet you, Mr. Norton,” Not only is this respectful but saying his name out loud will help you to remember it at a later time.

The Man Te st: Busine ss E tique t te

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MISERY ON THE LOVIEST DAY OF THE YEAR!

Horrible VALENTINE’S

Dates e’s Day, you think of roses, When you think ofValentin ensive gifts from your pink chocolate hearts and exp how it always works in loved ones… but that’s not s affectionate gift-giving the real world. For some, thi g a final exam on the day is as depressing as havin tional Championship night your team plays in a Na of Valentine’s Day is a day game. The urban definition rfect time to hate your that’s been known as the “pe being single day!” While life, even more than usual, for extreme, plenty of people that may be taking it to the cause it’s V-Day, and those go on crappy dates just be me the stuff of legend! horrible dates can truly beco at them.

We, here at CT, love to laugh

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I I

went on a blind date last Valentine’s Day, only to discover that I was set up with my stepsister. My friends knew I had a stepsister, but they never knew her name or where she went to school.

We’re not friends at all, so when I walked in with my buddy she got really angry and stared screaming about how mad she was that I would “pull this stunt” on her. I tried to explain, but she wouldn’t listen.

Worse, when she left, she took her friend with her, leaving my buddy and me alone with just each other for dinner. It actually turned out to be cool, because there were two girls going on a “date” with each other. Chris, 19

was totally stoked about my dinner and a movie with this hot girl from class. But, half way through the film (while I was almost to first base), this big guy busted into the theatre, pulled me right out of my seat and punched me in the face. They left together and I ended up with a sore jaw. Turns out our date was just a way for her to get back at her (ex-convict-looking) boyfriend for forgetting her birthday. Josh, 20

I

really ruined my Valentine’s date last year! This really sexy punk guy had taken me to a concert, and we were back at my place hooking up hard core.

I guess it was too hard because his tongue ring sliced my lip open, and I didn’t realize I was bleeding into his mouth until he started tasting it! He said he was really grossed out and I haven’t seen him since. Sara,18

Totally useless fact: The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

HEALTHY MUSCLES BURN MORE CALORIES

BAILEY’S KEEPS YOU ON TRACK! LOOK GOOD,

I

had been hanging out with this guy for a month, and I wanted to take our relationship to the next level… to be Facebook official. I know girls aren’t supposed to beg for that, but I thought giving it to him as a Valentine’s Day present would be unique. So, I asked around for some ideas, and it turned out my friend made himself a Facebook profile costume for Halloween. Well, I borrowed it. On Valentine’s Day, I met him at the restaurant. When I got there, I walked into the restaurant with the profile on.

When he saw me, I was the one completely shocked. Instead of the “awww” reaction I was expecting, he sort of looked at me funny, shook his head and walked out of the restaurant, leaving me standing there embarrassed… and looking even more like a complete idiot.

Icing on the cake, I got stuck in the doorframe on the way out and had to be helped by a waiter. He never talked to me again, and I still don’t know what went wrong. I know I’m never gonna get creative again.

Elizabeth, 18

L

ast year, I was asked out to a Valentine’s dinner by this guy I didn’t know too well. He took me to a very expensive place and was a perfect gentleman throughout the meal. I really thought I could hit it off with him… and then the check came. He excused himself to go to the restroom and TOTALLY DITCHED ME! Apparently, he had a bet with his friends that he could get a “random girl to pay for his dinner.” I cried pretty hard that night! Laurel, 21

I

tried to do something romantic to get this beautiful girl on my dorm floor to go out with me, but it really backfired. I bought two-dozen roses and placed the pedals all around her side of the room.

When she came home, I watched from around the corner to see her reaction. It turns out… she’s allergic to roses (her roommate could have warned me), and her friend had to rush her to the hospital, because she couldn’t breathe. She also had to have people clean her dorm room and wash all her sheets and blankets before she could walk back in. I didn’t get that date I wanted! Brian, 20

Totally useless fact: Pearls melt in vinegar.

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damned you siri

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Totally useless fact: A spider has transparent blood.

damned you siri

odytec # ) TATTOO & PIERCING $

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OFF ANY PIERCING 07&3

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$

OFF ANY TATTOO 07&3

C L E A N - PR OF E SSIO N A L - T R US T E D SI NC E 19 9 8 8&45 6/*7&34*5: "7&/6& t t #0%:5&$)5"5500 $0.

Totally useless fact: The average lifespan of an eyelash is five months.

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CHARTERED

what people remember me for witt y comebacks being funny cokking well they knew my sibling/parents giving answers on tests

RELATIONSHIPS

WHAT MEN WANT FROM A RELATIONSHIP

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WHAT WOMEN WANT FROM A RELATIONSHIP

Totally useless fact: Every acre of American crops harvested contains 100 pounds of insects.

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE

& S H T MY S D N E G E L

l Sutphin

By Danie

Them d n i h e B ) s e tory(Li any urban legends that turn S e h t d n a ends Similar can be said of the mhile some start as fact, morostugh g e L n a b r U W th t! mmunities. e years and circulate co wnright false over th Spot the Nothe word of mouth. Despiteethitosd of world. e th ns around d or do urate m ls fast by e most acc News trave th s y e” game a lw a t ’s no “Telephon e th s a st swiftness, it Ju n. provided informatio formation g in in e rr th e l, sf o n o a h the tr in grade sc change by s u to to re d su le is a reve people of a line of at the start . hes its end time it reac

distorte ip-glutto all the goss f o rs e e sn the

e! u r t s i end g e l h c i s wh s e u g n ca u o y f i See ence to sequ ubject s t o n s r *answe

American History

The White House was dubbed so because it was repainted white after the Brits burned it in 1814.

Federal law allows only t he Texas state fl ag to b e fl own at t he same heigh t as t he U.S. national fl ag .

s large signature to When John Hancock scribed hi ence, he said, “There, the Declaration of Independ able to read that!”

I guess King George will be Totally useless fact: Prince Charles is an avid collecter of toilet seats.

The middle name of Harry Truman was just the letter ‘S’. campus talk

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february 2014

39

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE

MYTHSLED&!

A E V E R LEGENDS

By Daniel Sutphin

THE TRUTH EXPOSED! e.

pleas ncock,

and pproved a g n i e which as b gress, ence w n d o n C e l p e a lly nt nd typica ontine on of I C o i s t e l a h a r t a e f so, .H to he Decl ent. Al esiden top row m r e u p h c s When t t o a f d w FALSE on the iddle o ncock r with n the m John Ha , rathe as seen i s , t e s d p t r e i a t r a g p e c s le pp tter ado , large name a ther de ould u y o s w c i f n e h o a h f y d t h e is w ly tha a crow e in th unlike before is nam t e h i m t d a i e n n o g s ear it. si his itness, ne to h t sign w o o y s n n a a d i n t o he d homs withou arles T phrase a h c only Ch u s

Your

John Ha

Flag on t he Play!

nalflagshould codestatesthatthenatio False-Thefederalflag As long as other superior prominence. be given the position of ved, any single the flag code are obser positional guidelines of U.S. national at the same heigh t as the state flag may be flown wn at a lower flag may optionally be flo flag (alt hough the state tional flag). deference to t he na heigh t as a show of

40

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A House Painted W

hite.

FALSE - While it term “White Hou is tr ue that the s e” general us e after came into mo re 1817, the Presiden t’s Hous e had been given a coat of whitewash as ea rly protect its locally- as 1798 in o rder to qu against the deter arried sandstone io ra winter freezes, an tion caus ed by d fr paint was us ed fo om then on white r the exterio r.

‘S’ Stands For

TRUE –Truman’s parents couldn’t decide on a suitable name. When the doctor finally registered the birth, the parent’s chose the name Harry after his maternal uncle. As for his middle name, they couldn’t decide to honor Harry’s maternal grandfather (Solomon Young) or paternal grandfather (Anderson Shipp[e]), so they left it with the letter ‘S’.

Totally useless fact: The most common street name in the U.S. is Second Street.

my rough life!

i want orange juice, but I just brushed my teeth!

Every Day is Gameday

In Gainesville every day is Gameday, only the venues change! So whether you love going outdoors or simply going out to eat, we’ve got just what you’re looking for. Paddle the Santa Fe River, dine at one of our delicious local restaurants or search for treasures at local boutiques and vintage shops downtown. Gainesville, where nature and culture meet.

Totally useless fact: Tehran is the most expensive city on earth.

www.visitgainesville.com 352.374.5260

VisitGainesvilleFlorida campus talk

@ Gainesville |

february 2014

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Totally useless fact: The sweat drops drawn in cartoon comic strips are called pleuts.

LITTLE STORE JUST GOT BET T S E G TER! G I B E H T

RENT

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VISIT PARADISE FOR ALL YOUR NEEDS ON THE CORNER OF 34TH ST & W UNIVERISTY AVE Totally useless fact: Babies are most likely to be born on Tuesdays.

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it’s not me, it’s you

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Totally useless fact: The HyperMart outside of Garland Texas has 58 check-outs.

it’s not me, it’s you

Totally useless fact: The Minneapolis phone book has 21 pages of Andersons.

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RIDDLE ME THIS!

MIND

A clerk at a butch er shop #1 stands five feet ten inches tall and wears s ize 13 sneakers.

What does he weig h?

GAMES

1) Meat, 2) 2nd Place, 3) Once. After that, you’d be subtracting from 48. 4) You can’t take a picture with a wooden leg; you need a camera. 5) Incorrectly

in in a r b r u o y p e e k To ing g n u lo e il h w e p sha on your couch…

#5

English What word in the s language is alway ? spelled incorrectly

#2

nning a u r e r e If you w you passed d race an n in 2nd so the per at place h place, w u be in now? o would y 46

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february 2014

#3

How many times the can you subtract number two from the number fifty?

#4

In British Colum bia you cannot take a p icture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

Totally useless fact: In the 1980’s American migraines increased by 60%.

brilliant!

A man was talking to his friend about his new girlfriend. “She’s homeless,” he said, “which is great!”

“Why’s that?” asked the friend.

“Because when I’m done with her, I can drop her off wherever I want and she doesn’t complain!”

ber Remem send all jokes to funny@mycampus talk.com and you could win a Campus Talk t-shirt.

Documents released by the White House show that the Democratic National Committee asked Al Gore to make 140 calls to campaign donors, but he only connected on 56 of them.

The other 84 hung up because he sounded just like a dial tone.

Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?

A: Laughing stock.

A blonde was driving her kids to Disney World. About halfway along the trip she saw a sign that said “Disney World Left.”

She turned around and went back home.

A man was walking along the beach when he kicked a stray bottle and a genie flew out. “Your wish is my command,” said the genie.

The man thought and said, “Give me a penis that touches the ground.”

In a flash, both the man’s legs fell off.

gt thngs dne qkr.

connect with 18 million businesses. one app, one site.

download the app today ©2013 YP Intellectual Property LLC. All rights reserved. YP, the YP logo and all other YP marks contained herein are trademarks of YP Intellectual Property LLC and/or YP affiliated companies. All other marks contained herein are the property of their respective owners.

13-26033 PNT_12/23/13

13-26033 PNT easier said done_blk TALK MAGAZINE Totally useless fact:than Poland is theCAMPUS “stolen car capital of the world”.

7.874” x 4.909” File built @ 100%

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Fabulous February Feet

Just for

by Amy Smith

Grazia Pump Make a maximum impact in a minimalistic style. Comprised of sleek materials, a pointed toe, and a sturdy heel.

shoes

$39.95 justfab.com Marybeth Pump Freshen up your work look with these elegant Mary Jane style pumps – available in a combination of tan and black, and monotone black – to have on rotation with your office outfits (or lunch with the future in-laws). $39.95 justfab.com

Nabila Boot A stunning over-the-knee boot for those tall orders.

Equestrian-inspired and perfectly crafted from plush material. Features a buckle detail, tab behind the top shaft and a low stacked heel.

Pemberley Boot The chunky bootie gets a detailed update with this buckled classic.

Short enough to wear all day, but fancy enough for night. Faux leather. $39.95 justfab.com

$39.95 justfab.com

Gale Boot Sink your feet into the pair that’ll keep you toasty without sacrificing an ounce of style.

Strappy, buckled details and soft, furry interior. $39.95 justfab.com

Emmie flat Make loafers your go-to seasonal flat. Swap your heels for this comfy-chic pair and stay on-trend in whatever you pair them with. Faux suede & textured piping. $39.95 justfab.com 48

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Totally useless fact: The S in Harry S. Truman did not stand for anything.

Fabulous February Feet Saskia Wedge A wedge to impress. This tall, strappy stunner features reptile-emboss details and a zipper on the back. $39.95 justfab.com

OS! $3 TACNTAIN $1 FOU! (3-5PM) S DRINK

Debbon Wedge Step out in a new level of style. This faux-suede wedge boasts an extreme platform, cutout design and adjustable ankle strap.

$1 BFAMOUS BEERS WITH PURCHASE! (7PM-MIDNIGHT)

$39.95 justfab.com

CAMPUS

Naples Pump A pump sensation with an ultra-tall heel!

Gorgeous peep-toe pump featuring stud-embellished cutout design and a seductive ankle strap.

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Cassia Pump Our favorite sky-high platform gets a glitzy update for fall with an ankle strap and front metallic detail. Pair it with some sass and you’re all set. $39.95 justfab.com Perla Flat, functional and fierce, it’s the perfect wear with everything pair. Not to mention, the pointed toe D’Orsay style is so on-trend right now. Faux suede. $39.95 justfab.com

Very Lovely Soles

This “Lovely� line of flats provides fresh, universally appealing, timeless and unique shoes at an affordable price. Appearing on the back of each pair of shoes is the hummingbird, a symbol of accomplishing the impossible and learning how to find the miracle of joyful living from life experiences. $150–$170 verylovelysoles.com

Totally useless fact: Rhode Island is the only state which the hammer throw is a legal high school sport.

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49

get these in your life

By Amy Smith

X-Arcade Solo Joystick

Pick a favorite game, plug in this bad boy, and proceed to awe your buddies and family members with this unbreakable American-designed joystick. Measuring in at 11 inches from side to side and built with 12 LBS of industrial- grade materials, the X-Arcade Solo makes it feel like you’re using a real arcade machine. $99.99 xgaming.com

X-Arcade Dual Joystick

Slide behind this Dual Joystick and relive those arcade classics that you used to enjoy back in the day. This 2 player unbreakable controller is built to last, can be used with any computer or game system and comes with a USB cable. $129.99 xgaming.com Plusus Lifelink USB Charger The worlds thinnest smartphone cable has an ultra-portable design which makes it easy to charge on-the-go! Get rid of those bulky, messy cables and tuck this baby in your wallet, purse or with your keys. The device is available for all Apple devices and Android / Blackberry devices. $24 getlifelink.com Felix MonkeyOh This novel monkey design features “arms” that hold on tight to your smartphone and sturdy feet with a rubber non-skid bottom to keep your phone in place when propped up on a desk or computer. Stand your smartphone in landscape or portrait angles and choose from one of the four color combo’s. $14.99 felixbrand.com

Fifty Shades of Grey Wine

Fall in love all over again with the bestselling novel’s very own wine selection. Curl up on the couch and savor the romance with Red Satin, a decadent red blend of Petite Sirah, Syrah, black cherry, cocoa powder, caramel, vanilla, leather and clove spice. Or indulge in the White Silk blend including floral aromatics of lychee and honey, crisp grapefruit and pear with a hint of butterscotch.

Prices vary/ fiftyshadeswine.com

Gaiam Trampoline Workout System

Have fun with a motivating low-impact cardio workout that challenges your cardiovascular system, increases oxygen intake, shapes and tones legs, hips and glutes, and burns fat with the 35-minute workout DVD led by personal trainer Jonathan Roche. The Jump Counter keeps track of jumps made, workout time and approximate calories burned. $99 Gaiam.com.

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Evutec Karbon SP Phone Case Made from true DuPont Kevlar, this new line of protective cases are smart, sleek and protective. The Kevlar strands are woven together to make up different patterns and then sprayed with a coast to resist scratching making the case shockproof, 2 mm thin and 5 times stronger than steel at the same weight. $39.95 Evutec.com Evutec Wood Phone Case This naturally sleek snap case is made from real wood veneer and contains about 30% of the DuPont Kevlar fibers to make it flexible and strong at the same time. It is 0.9 mm thin, laser cut and sprayed with durable coating. $39.95 Evutec.com Totally useless fact: In Miconesia, coins are 12 feet across.

for the girls

By Katie M. Moss

How to Find the Best

Beauty

Deals

Online

Finding great online deals on posh products is easier than you may think. Sign up for email alerts from fashion websites like Ideeli.com or Gilt.com to get deep discounts on your favorite products. Amazon.com is also an excellent resource if you want to grab online beauty deals.

If you’re interested in trying trendy new luxury products, Birchbox.com will send users a sample of high-end beauty products each month for only $10. That means you won’t have to pay a lot for a product just to find out you don’t like it. You can purchase only the products you’ve already tried and loved.

Want to try out products for free? Pitchme. com puts the power in the hands of the consumer by allowing them to choose the products they want to try on a bi-weekly basis and the only cost is your feedback!

Consumers can choose samples from some of the world’s leading brands for free in exchange for simply letting the brand know what they think. Once delivered, members simply provide feedback through a small survey within 30 days,. If they love a product, they are conveniently redirected to retailers where the products are sold.

At the Beauty Salon

You don’t have to pay $100 or more to get a great haircut. Consider checking out the beauty schools in your area. Though some can be a bit dodgy, Aveda Institutes are often a fantastic option. For a low price, you’ll be able to get a cut that looks like it came from a high-end salon. You can find a local option at Aveda.com.

On Television

At a Drugstore

As women, we spend a lot of time and money to look our best. Often, however, we spend more money than we have to. Beauty products are available in a variety of places and at a variety of prices.

Here’s a guide to help you find the best deals at each.

These days, you can find a huge variety of beauty products at drugstores, often at affordable prices. Unfortunately, you can’t try on the makeup in a drugstore like you can in a department store, and there usually aren’t beauty consultants on-hand to help you decide what to purchase. So, what’s a smart beauty shopper to do?

If you’re thinking about trying a new beauty trend (like a new nail color), check out the least expensive brands first. Then, once you’re sure you like they way it looks, move on to higher-quality brands. You can check your local drugstore’s website for coupons or the in-store sales section for the best deals. Also, keep an eye out for special beauty events at drugstores, especially around the holidays or the start of a new season.

Totally useless fact: A horse can look forward with one eye and back with the other.

Television shopping channels may not be your favorite to watch, but they can have luxurious items that sell for much cheaper than in beauty salons or department stores.

If you see a brand or product you want but it’s still too pricey, look for its next scheduled appearance; it will likely be priced lower the second or third showing.

Dollar Stores

Dollar stores are a great place to obtain beauty basics, such as cotton balls, cotton swabs and nail files. However, beware of beauty product expiration dates. Often, dollar stores receive discontinued items, and many products include only the cheapest ingredients.

So, what are you waiting for? Start exploring these budget-friendly beauty buys today. Your wallet will definitely thank you, and you’ll look incredible, too! campus talk

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GLOWING REVIEWS

Valentine’s

by Amy Smith

BEAUTY Happy Hippy Shower Gel The happiest of shower gels, this grapefruit blend makes even the office seem inviting. A perfect way to start the day, Happy Hippy is bursting with juicy organic pink grapefruits to cleanse away grime, refresh your skin and make you feel brighter all over. $9.95–$28.95 lush.com Happy Happy Joy Joy Conditioning Hair Perfume Feel Happy Happy all day long as this rose water, orange blossom water and almond milk base soften, beautify and condition even overprocessed hair. The orange flower absolute, rosewood and grapefruit oils perfume your locks for a citrusy smell.

It Started with a Kiss Lip Tint Tint your lips with fresh apple infusion, warming cinnamon and a hint of white chocolate. Inspired by a certain apple-biting princess, It Started With A Kiss paints your pout an irresistible shade of ruby red. $9.25 lush.com

Semester Starter Kit Take a break during your spring studies and indulge with t hese relaxing beauty products. The kit is full of quick and easy remedies to help you re-focus and recharge your skin, face, mind and body.

$12.95–$39.95 lush.com

Titsy Totsy Bath Bomb This love potion is made with the scent of precious rose and orris root. It’s good for dry or rough skin and the perfume is said to ease tension and give people happy, positive feelings (just like falling in love). $6.35 lush.com

Sex Bomb Bath Bomb

A must for any romantic bath, this world famous sphere of sex appeal contains all of nature’s most potent and seductive ingredients like jasmine, clary sage and ylang ylang that are known to relax you as they warm your heart. Soya milk makes the water milky, softening your entire body. $6.65 lush.com 52

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Aveeno® StressRelief Body Wash $6.99 aveeno.com Clean & Clear Oil-Absorbing Sheets $4.99 walgreens.com Lubriderm® Daily Moisture Lotion Shea + Calming Lavender Jasmine 6.99 walgreens.com CND VINYLUX $9.90 cnd.com

CND Solar Oil Mini $2.50 cnd.com NEOVA® BreakOut Control Swabs $26 neova.com Neutrogena® Ultra Gentle Daily Cleanser $8.49 Neutrogena.com Neutrogena® MoistureSmooth Color Sticks $8.99 Neutrogena.com

Totally useless fact: Alfred Hitchcock didn’t have a belly button. It was eliminated when he was sewn up after surgery.

GLOWING REVIEWS

Toucan Love Gift Set This set has two products meant to be enjoyed with a loved one. Inside its vibrant wrapping is a special heartshaped Neon Love soap and a sweet-scented luxurious massage bar called Close To You. Tired of being out-gifted? Toucan play that game!

Neon Love Gift Set Celine Neon will be practically singing your love story when you indulge in this fabulous find. This gift set comes complete with heart-shaped Neon Love soap, Turkish Delight shower smoothie, a sunny mandarin mood boost called Red Fun and the From Dusk ‘Til Dawn massage bar.

$16.95 lush.com

$39.95 lush.com

Lots of Love Gift Set

VOTED#1 BEST COLLEGE DRUNK FOOD! (VOTED BY THRILLIST, REPORTED IN FLORIDA INDEPENDENT ALLIGATOR)

MUST-TRY BURGER

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WE DELIVER! RELISH2GO.COM DELIVERY FEE s NO HIDDEN FEES MUST BE PLACED ONLINE AT RELISH GO COM

CAMPUS POST OFFICE & COPY SHOP Don’t hold back this Valentine’s day from the true meaning of LOL. The Lots of Love set includes the jasmine-scented Sex Bomb Bath Bomb to set the mood, Prince Charming shower gel to sweep you off your feet, Ro’s Argan Body Conditioner to keep you smooth and of course our Tender Is The Night massage bar for a romantic treat. $55.95 lush.com

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CALL FOR AN APPOINTMENT

352­392­1134

Passionate Liquid Lipstick

Apply this bright, vivid and bold two-toned fuchsia with a softening base of jojoba oil and rose wax which keeps lips hydrated and ensures your color lasts all day. $18.95 lush.com

Totally useless fact: Telly Savalas and Louis Armstrong died on their birthdays.

3030 Radio Road

(located across from Lakeside Residential Complex)

www.maildocserv.ufl.edu

.

.

.

.

.

.

Color Copies Posters Business Cards Brochures Stamps Pamphlets Booklets Copy Paper

FREE PARKING! campus talk

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53

LMAO!

0 #/-

/ 7).'34

ber Remem send all jokes to funny@mycampus talk.com and you could win a Campus Talk t-shirt.

Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A: A cloud.

Two buddies were talking in a bar when one said to the other, “All women are like rocks.� “Why’s that?� said the other guy. “It’s simple,� replied the first buddy. “You skip all flat ones!�

SAUCED AND TOSSED IN YOUR CHOICE OF 10 DELICIOUS WING FLAVORS! WINGSTOP IS THE ULTIMATE CHOICE FOR YOUR GAME WATCHING!

#!,, !(%!$ s 37 4( !6%.5% '!).%36),,% &,

-),% 7%34 /& 37 4( 342%%4 /. 37 4( !6%.5% 54

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After a heavy night of drinking at the local bar, a drunk stumbles into a Catholic church and slowly makes his way into the confessional booth. There, the priest patiently awaits the man to begin his confession. After a few minutes of silence, the priest politely taps on the window... nothing. The priest taps again and this time clears his throat a bit... still nothing. At this point, the priest begins to lose his patience and bangs on the window.

Finally the drunk yells out, “Ain’t no use knocking, there ain’t no paper over here either!�

A man was walking in the woods and came to a cottage where the walls were covered with clocks. He asked the woman who owned the cottage what all the clocks were for. She replied that everyone in the world had a clock, and every time you told a lie your clock advanced a second. He saw a clock that was hardly moving and when he remarked about it he was told that it was Mother Teresa’s. He then asked where Bill Clinton’s clock was. The woman replied, “It’s in the kitchen‌ we’re using it as a ceiling fan.â€?

Totally useless fact: The muzzle of a lion is like a fingerprint - no two lions have the same pattern of whiskers.Â

game on!

Sore Thumbs

By Daniel Sutphin

Thief PS4 PS3 Xbox 360PC February 25 Play as Garret, the Master Thief, in this reinvention of the first-person shooter. The Master Thief stalks the streets performing missions to restore balance to the polarized citizens. A used story, but a relatable one as always, Thief depicts a city in turmoil, as the rich prosper and the less fortunate face misery and repression.

Players take control with the freedom to choose their path through the levels and how they approach and overcome each challenge. The game features direct missions, as well as a Hub world where numerous side missions and information will be available.

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 PS3 Xbox 360PC February 25 Taking place in an open, modern-day world, Dracula returns yearning for release from his immortal chains. Threats abound as players must face Satan, who returns to bring about the apocalypse, and the Belmont clan who has entered Dracula’s castle seeking his destruction.

Dracula must reacquire his powers and make a pact with death to defeat the devil and gain his eternal rest.

Bravely Default 3DS February 7 The 3D RPG captures the charm and elegant simplicity of classical RPGs. The amount of detail in the environments is undeniable in this beautifully crafted world.

Players must become a Warrior of Light and journey to the land of Luxumdarc in a classic tale of personal growth and adventure.

Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII PS3 Xbox 360 February 11 With the visuals and open-world game-play that has come to be expected with the Final Fantasy franchise, Lightning Returns focuses only on Lightning. Serah’s older sister is on a mission to save the souls so they may be brought to a new world, but with only 13 days to spare, not everyone can be saved. Armed with new weapons, player customization and battle abilities, players face a race against time to fully understand their destiny.

Totally useless fact: Steely Dan got their name from a sexual device depicted in the book ‘The Naked Lunch’.

Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze Wii U February 21 With all newly-designed levels, Donkey Kong and his friends must save their home and banana hoard from marauding Vikings in the second entry from Retro Studios platformer series. The Snowmads have invaded and frozen Donkey Kong Island.

Players must jump from island to island as they explore a variety of new environments, such as lush mangroves and burning savannas. campus talk

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chartered

when facebook is running slowly get off the computer and do the homework your were trying to put off. go to different website and hope it runs faster

guy you met at a part y once

FACEBOOK people you may know

exes significant others exes exes significant others grade school bullies people you do not know

my facebook friends true friends that i value and care about what they post people i added just to stalk their profile

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Totally useless fact: Shakespeare is quoted 33,150 times in the Oxford English dictionary.

chartered

WHAT MODERN SONGS ARE ABOUT BREAKING UP

PART YING

Changing Futures.

One Person At A Time Donate Plasma and Save a Life Today

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Please help us help those coping with rare, chronic, genetic diseases.

New donors can receive $100 this week!

Ask about our Specialty Programs!

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Biotestplasma.com today!

BECAUSE IT’S REALLY SUNNY OUT BECAUSE I CAN STARE AT PEOPLE WITHOUT THEM NOTICING

Biotest Plasma Center 1112 N. Main Street Gainesville, FL 32601 352-378-9431 www.biotestplasma.com

Totally useless fact: The word Pennsylvania is misspelled on the Liberty 004-Campus-Tallk-3.8583x10.0394.indd Bell.

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Totally useless fact: Jefferson invented the dumbwaiter, the monetary system, and the folding attic ladder.

one liners!

p u k c Pi s e n i L

erior t n i n a u o Are y ecause B ? r o t a r o dec u the o y w a s I when ecame b m o o r e entir beautiful. ve a Do you ha I j ust Ba ndAid? y scraped m ng k n ee fa l l i for you .

ve a h u o Do y urn, a sunb you or are alwaysot? this h

Are you religious?

Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.

They say d a a numbers ting is ... so can I game your numb get er?

If I were a sto light, I’d turn r p every time yo ed passed by just u I could stare a so you a bit longt er.

Totally useless fact: The Ramses brand condom is named after the great pharoh Ramses II who fathered over 160 children. campus talk

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Totally useless fact: A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.Â

Totally useless fact: The male gypsy moth can “smell” the virgin female gypsy moth from 1.8 miles away.

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DO NOT CHECK OUT THIS WEBSITE w w w.M y Ca m p usTa l k . co m

2 SL $9 ICES .99 & A FOR PITC HER!

WINGS, BEER, & NOW BRICK OVEN PIZZA

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1702 W University Ave 352.692.4400

Totally useless fact: Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

Forget the story about the little choo-choo that could.

You can’t

nderachieve U r

hilarious!

COLLEGE

FRESHMAN VS. SENIORS Are Never In Bed Past Noon Reads the syllabus to find out what classes they can cut.

Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.

Calls the professor “Professor.”

Would walk ten miles to get to class.

Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.

Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university.

Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed.

Has to ask where the computer labs are.

Uses the campus buses to go everywhere.

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Are never out of bed before noon.

Reads the syllabus to find out what classes they need to attend.

Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mountain Dew into a recitation class.

Calls the professor “Bob.” Drives to class if it’s further than three blocks away.

Memorizes the professor’s habits to get a good grade.

Knows where the next class is. Maybe...

Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box of pop tarts in hand.

Has ‘own’ personal workstation.

Uses the campus buses block traffic while crossing the street.

Worries about the last freshman composition essay.

Worries about the last GRE essay.

Lines up for an hour to buy his textbooks in the first week.

Begins Thinking about buying textbooks in October... maybe.

Looks forward to first classes of the year.

Looks forward to first beer garden of the year

february 2014

Totally useless fact: Humans are the only primates that don’t have pigment in the palms of their hands.

BUt...Who’s Gonna do my Laundry?

that

homesick feeling

After a couple months of being out of the house and developing your own life, the feeling of homesickness starts to kick in. Obviously after 18 years of living with your parents, living on your own is a huge new adjustment. Everyone is feeling this way a little bit, even if they don’t always say it. When you are having a low day and wish you had the comfort of home to cheer you up, you have to find some things to temporarily replace that while at school. Nothing replaces family, but you can still get that homey feel when they are not right here with you.

Ask for Care Packages Get Involved

Find groups, Greek life, drop-in sports, anything to meet new people and get your mind off the people you are missing.

These activities are fun and allow you to enjoy plenty of people who you can focus on building friendships with.

Skype

It can be very refreshing to get off the phone with your family and begin seeing them in person. Skype allows you to chat and interact with your parents, siblings, or even see your dog.

Print Plenty of Pictures

Decorate your whole bedroom with pictures of family and friends that show your best memories with them. You could even make a little scrap book to flip through when you are feeling lonely.

Write Letters

In college there are not many times that you receive mail in the dorms or at your apartment. If you begin writing friends and family, it keeps you excited for that next time a letter is coming.

Along with letters, ask your mom, grandma, aunt, or someone else crafty to send you a little care package with cookies and things to remind you of home. Even having them send a living room blanket or something can give you a small touch of home!

Get Ahead in Your School Work

To consume more of your time, get ahead in your studies. Even if you are just sitting around watching a movie feeling lonely, make some note cards for your test next week. This will put your mind on something more beneficial than feeling down.

Totally useless fact: It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year’s supply of footballs.

Find Local Home Cooking

Whether it is at your friend’s house whose parents live a few miles away, or a downtown restaurant, it is nice to have some home cooked food. All college students get sick of having the same old campus food every day and night, so be sure to have a homey meal that reminds you of your parents.

These tips should make the lonely time as a college student a bit more uplifting and positive.

Everyone gets homesick sometimes, but instead of getting down about it, have some fun. And remember, only a few weeks until family time at Thanksgiving! campus talk

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february 2014

A LITTLE TOUCH CAN GO A LONG WAY

Make-up Matters

by Kelly Herman

By Kelly Herman illustrations by jane dominguez

If there’s one thing I’ve learned since exiting my 10th grade Goth phase and entering semi-adult existence, it’s that you can do a lot with a little bit of makeup. Winter time is the perfect time to explore bold looks with little more than mascara and dark lipsticks. It’s also the time that I can revert back to that dark-clothed girl who secretly still loves plum pouts and heavy eyeliner. Here are some of my top tips for simple techniques that’ll look daring and feel effortless.

Since the winged eye has become popular again, I’ve been doing a simpler version that requires less effort. Instead, I use two coats of The mascara to sweep only the outer half of bottom and top lashes. It draws the look of your eyes outwards so you get the same cat eye effect, minus adjusting liquid eyeliner mess-ups at 8 am. Cold look weather means red noses and rosy cheeks, so if you have to use concealer, only apply a thin layer to your nose and the edges around your nostrils. Don’t forget chapstick to soothe against harsher winds; carry it with you to reapply throughout the day.

Daily

Late

The

If you’re in a hurry or wake up tired, use concealer on the dark circles and red streaks at the corners of your eyes. Then, apply a swipe of mascara to the center lashes on your top and bottom lids, not the edges. Giving your longest lashes length in the middle will give your eyes a wide-open effect, and the lightening of any darkness will make them look less sleepy. Add a touch of blush to the apples of your cheeks to brighten your face and give it some healthy color. Definitely avoid eyeliner, especially if you put it on your inner rims, as it makes your eyes appear smaller and more squinty. With all the yawning and eye-rubbing you’ll be doing, mascara won’t smudge or give you the raccoon effect like most eyeliners.

look

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february 2014

Totally useless fact: Thirty-five percent of people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

A LITTLE TOUCH CAN GO A LONG WAY

Vixen The

Trying out darker shades of lipstick can always be a bit frightening, especially when there are look so many wrong shades to choose from (that just made it sound scarier, didn’t it?). Read our tip at the bottom for how to choose the right shade for you, and you’ll never be disoriented in the makeup aisle again.

One of the dangers in trying brash colors is that you’ll look clownish instead of Marilynesque. To keep it classy, use concealer to cover up all the red or dark areas of your face, including around your eyes, lips and nose. The reason you want to clear up these parts is so there’s no other hue competing with the one going on your lips.

Then, layer on the lipstick. Try smudging it on with a fingertip at first, to get a feel for the level of depth you’re going for. Gradually apply more until you’re comfortable with the color, then use a small amount on two or three fingertips to smudge along the edge of your cheekbones. Make sure it’s even and only enough to get a hint of color. You should use the same color going on your lips with your cheeks so, again, there aren’t any other shades competing on your face.

Swipe mascara on the top and bottom lids, also coating the lashes on the inner and outer corners of your eyes. To make this look a daring one, it needs the full effect of all your eyelashes flaring out like falsies.

Voila! You’ve got your vixen, daytime, and trying-to-look-awake looks with a few tiny steps. Now, you can skip some unnecessary moves while testing out a new version of you. Or maybe it’s a new version of an old look, like the one I’ve been tweaking for years.

Voila! You’ve got your vixen, daytime, and trying-to-look-awake looks with a few tiny steps. Now, you can skip some unnecessary moves while testing out a new version of you. Or maybe it’s a new version of an old look, like the one I’ve been tweaking for years.

p i L

k c i Tr

You can find tips anywhere on the best color for your skin tone, but here’s an explanation of why those shades work so you can pick your own pinks, reds, and plums in the future. The trick is in finding out your skin’s undertone. You probably already know what this is, based on how you look in different colors.

If you look best in warm tones, like reds, pinks and browns, your skin has an orangey undertone (not implying that you’re an Oompa Loompa or anything). The best lipstick for you is one that has the same shade, so you want to pick out a dark brick or muddy magenta hue to complement your skin.

If you wear mostly cool tones, like blues and greens, you want to pick out a shade that fits your blueish undertone (also, not saying you’re a Smurf ). Violet-pinks and cranberry will be your best match, because they won’t wash you out like a scarlet will. campus talk

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february 2014

WHO STASHED THE CANDY? Pompeii WHAT: Action, Adventure, Drama WHO: Kit Harington, Carrie-Anne

Moss, Emily Browning WHEN: February 21 Despite their will as a people and their strength as a city, Mother Earth stands the biggest threat. In Paul W.S. Anderson’s depiction of this historic tale, he focuses on a slave-turned-gladiator (Harington) who finds himself in a race against time to save his love, who is set to marry a corrupt Roman Senator. As Mount Vesuvius erupts, he must rescue his love as the city crashes around them.

flicks By daniel sutphin

Scan the

codtehe

to see trailer!

The Monuments Men

Winter’s Tale WHAT: Drama, Fantasy, Mystery WHO: Colin Farrell, Russell Crowe WHEN: February 14

In this time-jumping tale, a burglar, Peter Lake (Farrell), falls for an heiress, only to learn that she is dying. All the while, Pearly Soames (Crowe) is hunting him down for his crimes. When Lake learns he has the gift of reincarnation, he sets out to save her. campus talk

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february 2014

WHAT: Action, Biography, Drama, War WHO: George Clooney, Cate Blanchett, Matt Damon, Bill Murray, John Goodman WHEN: February 7 Based on a true story, The Monuments Men depicts an unlikely World War II platoon tasked by FDR to enter Germany to rescue artistic masterpieces from Nazi thieves and return them to their rightful owners.

Despite the fact the crew consists of seven museum directors, curators, and art historians, all more experienced with Michelangelo than the M-1, they must push on to save 1000 years of culture.

Robocop WHAT: Action, Crime, Sci-Fi, Thriller WHO: Joel Kinnaman, Douglas Urbanski, Abbie Cornish, Gary Oldman WHEN: February 14 In this recreation of the late ‘80s classic, Robocop tells the action-packed story of a police officer, Alex Murphy (Kinnaman), as he adjusts to living as part-man and part-robot after being critically injured. While he adapts, he must take on the very company that created him.

3 Days to Kill WHAT: Action, Drama, Thriller WHO: Amber Heard,

Kevin Costner, Hailee Steinfeld, Connie Nielsen WHEN: February 21 Kevin Costner plays a dying Secret Service Agent hoping to rekindle his relationship with his estranged daughter. He is offered an experimental drug that could save his life, but in exchange, he must take on one last assignment.

Totally useless fact: Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

rent me!

Thor: The Dark World What: Action, Adventure, Fantasy Who: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie

Small

Portman, Christopher Eccleston When: February Thor (Hemsworth) embarks on a perilous journey to take on an enemy that even Odin and Asgard cannot withstand. On the mission, he will reunite with Jane Foster (Portman) and be forced to sacrifice everything to save the world.

Screen Ender’s Game What: Action/Adventure/Sci-Fi Who: Asa Butterfield, Abigail Breslin,

The Counselor What: Drama, Suspense/Thriller Who: Brad Pitt, Goran Visnjic, Michael

Fassbender, Javier Bardem, Cameron Diaz When: February 11 The first original screen play by Cormac McCarthy, the Ridley Scott-directed thriller tells the story of a lawyer (Fassbender) who moonlights as a drug trafficker, only to find himself in over his head.

Harrison Ford When: February 1 After being devastated twice by an alien race called the Buggers, the people of Earth remain banded together to prevent their own annihilation from the superior alien species.

Ender Wiggin, a quiet but intelligent boy, is separated from his sister and his terrifying brother and brought to battle school in orbit around earth. With the potential to become the savior of Earth, Ender is tested and honed into an empathetic killer who begins to despise himself as he learns to fight

Totally useless fact: Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

Salinger What: Documentary Who: Philip Seymour Hoffman,

Edward Norton, John Cusack When: February 6 With an all star cast of actors and authors, this documentary explores the private world of J.D. Salinger, the reclusive author of “The Catcher in the Rye.” The film is the first work to go beyond The Catcher in the Rye author’s built up wall: His childhood, arduous work methods, marriages, private world and the secrets he left behind after his death in 2010. campus talk

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february 2014

hilarious!

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.

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“What makes you say that?” he asked, putting on an innocent look.

“The pub called. You left your wheelchair there again.”

JOKE

HAHA

Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the

door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, “So, you’ve been out drinking again!!”

Totally useless fact: The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.

spotted!

NON-STOP

Spot The Differences

R O T A G

february 28, 2014

Julianne Moore, Michelle Dockery, Liam Neeson

G N I T H G I L & D N SOU

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ION

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february 2014

Totally useless fact: Simplistic passwords contribute to over 80% of all computer password break-ins.

Totally useless fact: You spend 7 years of your life in the bathroom.

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february 2014

75

1) Cabin handle missing 2) Foreground changes color 3) Gun missing 4) Button on jacket missing 5) Sunglasses 6) Hat in Foreground 7) Hand missing form center 8) Glove on hand in center

LIST

CHECK

spotted!

you sooooo cheated

S

ER W S N A

CR OS SWORD

WORD HUNT!

F E B R U A RY

QUOTE

QUIP{

Sticklers

GO FIGURE

CRISS CROSS 76

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february 2014

FEAR KNOT

where’s frank?

C RYPTO

SUDOKU

MAZE

MEGA MAZE

SNOWFL AKES

Totally useless fact: Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.

only joking!

ber Remem send all jokes to funny@mycampus talk.com and you could win a Campus Talk t-shirt.

Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

A: Doughnuts.

Girl: Do you believe in puppy love?

Boy: No, but my uncle in Kentucky does.

Q: What’s the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom? A: One snatches watches and the other watches snatches.

Q: Why won’t Separation of Church and State ever stick?

A: Because as long as there are tests, there will always be prayer in schools.

Totally useless fact: 10,000 Dutch cows pass through the Amsterdam airport each year.

Have you ever noticed that women are like lava lamps?

They’re fun to look at but not very bright.

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february 2014

77

laugh or cry!

Are these

funny or sad?

You decide.

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february 2014

Totally useless fact: A family of 26 could go to the movies in Mexico city for the price of one in Tokyo.

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