Campus Talk June 2015

www.mycampus talk .com JUNE 2015

CAMPUS TALK IS A COLLEGE STUDENT’S BEST FRIEND

Ditch the Small Stuff

RHONY Star Kristen Taekman Dishes on Life and Reality TV

Be Free

of the Lies Authentic Living with Breaking Bad's RJ Mitte

Shed that Smart Phone Weight this Summer

The Beach-Day

Blues How to Beat Them

Gadgets • Movies • Celebs • Nightlife • Jokes • Tons of funny stuff

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BREAKIN’ IT DOWN!

CONTENTS

GOOD

P14

READING

09 Your Cell Phone Makes

You Look Fat 10 Real Housewives of New York City’s Kristen Taekman on Her Life and Reality TV P22 12 10 Reasons Why You Should Stop Reading Lists 14 On Living Authentically: RJ Mitte 16 The Art of Storytelling with Terry Dale Parks 22 Lose Those Beach-Day Blues 30 Summer Options for Cool (i.e. Broke) Kids 37 Reservation? Pssht! How to Get a Table on Busy Nights

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P50

P09

P58

P30

P20

Totally useless fact: It is illegal to frown at cows in Bladworth, Saskatchewan.

breakin’ it down!

FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT eject Your Rejection Letter R 20 Kwik Tek’s 2015 Products 34 Summer Essentials P39 38 Beauty Reviews 40 Tune In. Turn On. Plug In. 43 Sore Thumbs 44 Healthy Living Goodies 49 Queries for Quiet Minds 50 A Wishing Well of Well Wishes: Job Interviews 51 Lessons in Management 52 Flicks 56 Spot the Difference P38 58 Cut N’ Play 13

P34

P44

P43

P40

P52

Totally useless fact: There were 240 pedestrian fatalities in New York City in 1994.

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WHAT’S on!

Editors ‘

LETTER FIND LIFE IN THE SUMMER SUN College is a time of learning, a time of adventure and, more than anything, a time of self-identification. Every summer, a new starry-eyed crop of cotton-headed freshman descend upon university towns all over the nation, discovering culture beyond their isolated homesteads and the unrealized culture within themselves.

For many, the journey to self-discovery begins with outgoingness and confidence, for others it may take a little more time and a little bit of a push. Even in our modern age of post-college employment struggles and know-it-all, quick-fix idealism, college remains a steadfast necessity in growing personally, intellectually and socially.. The physical and mental separation from the shelter of our previouslyperceived high-school reality – for most people – is the first honest spark toward realizing an authentic identity.

In this issue, authentic identity is the drive for Breaking Bad’s RJ Mitte, as he discusses his time on the legendary AMC series, his experience with Cerebral palsy and his current and upcoming projects. Former rough-neck, now full-time actor, Terry Dale Parks, goes behind the scenes of his characters on television and film, the most recent being Terminator: Genisys and the soon-to-launch Maze Runner: The Scorch Trails. The life of Real Housewives of New York City Kristen Taekman is also in focus, as she delves into how she balances her personal life and her life on the Bravo reality show.

And, if all this sounds heavy and like a bit of a buzzkill, say screw it, hit the beach and go live up the summer while it lasts!

Daniel Sutphin

Editor-IN-CHIEF Lauren Douglass

CONTENT EDITOR Daniel Sutphin

art director DANIEL TIDBURY

Graphic Design Jane Dominguez Daniel Tidbury

Contributing Writers Marc Douglass Lauren Douglass Daniel Sutphin Kelly Herman Brian Hodges John Scheck Sarah G. Mason Mike Capshaw kirsten neilsen Elizabeth putfark

FASHIon FEATURES Danielle Boudrea

SPeCIAL PROJECTS Jenna Herman

If you have any comments you’d like to share with CT, send them in to mail@mycampustalk.com and you’ll be entered into a drawing to win prizes!!

You may only be entered once, so don’t send us 50 comments thinking you’ll enhance your chances of winning! Employees of Campus Talk magazine, their relatives, their twins from alternate universes and their healthcare providers are prohibited from entering this drawing. Everyone else is eligible to participate… except for pandas. No pandas allowed.

nightlife Paparazzi Jason Frankenfield

Promotions Amanda Liles Karen Jones AnnMarie DeFeo Georgia Summerville

director of advertising Shane Howell shane@whpinc.com

Legal Counsel Gary Edinger

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Full service design studio providing clients with our best creative talents.

june 2015

Publishing division creating the best in college publications to college students.

Connecting students to student properties clear across the country. Traffic is our middle name.

From pens to ping pong tables, our promotional department can handle all of your logo merchandising needs.

Campus Talk is a humor magazine dedicated to relieving students of the pressures of everyday college life. Among essay exams, crowded classrooms, boring professors and messy roommates, Campus Talk offers a welcome diversion for those students “just trying to get away from it all.”

Different viewpoints may grace our pages but may not all represent the opinions of Campus Talk Magazine or its staff. Campus Talk should not be read by anyone suffering from heart ailments, unfunny syndrome or halitosis. All images depicted are purely coincidental.

Copyright 2009. All rights reserved, What’s Happening Publications, Inc.

Totally useless fact: In Japan, watermelons are squared. It’s easier to stack them that way.

SOMEONE HAS TO SAY IT!

Your Cell Phone Makes You Look

Fat

by John scheck

You heard me; your cell phone makes you look fat. That’s the only thing that I could think of that might convince people to lay off their phones just a little bit.

Telling people that cell phones may cause cancer didn’t do anything to damper our enthusiasm for this gadget. Money seems to be no object when it comes to this technology as most customers seem thrilled to pay almost anything for the latest model, in addition to a frighteningly high monthly service fee, so any economic disincentive is unlikely to get people to hang up and join the human race. I doubt that a childish insult will do much to hold back this zeitgeist tsunami.

It shouldn’t bother me or anyone else that you spend your entire life punching itty-bitty

Totally useless fact: Bird droppings are chief export of Nauru, an island nation in the Western Pacific.

keys and staring at a Lilliputian screen on this thoroughly obnoxious device that has done more to change modern society than anything since the automobile. The tiny miracle of the cell phone has also become almost everyone’s best buddy. However, it does bother me especially when we're sitting together at a table in a restaurant and you're playing with your new toy while ignoring everyone around you. Is there ever a time or a place when using your phone isn't appropriate? I don't go to church but do people use their phones there? Is it OK for your doctor to check his messages while he's operating? That can't be any more dangerous than you texting while driving.

Now that I’ve told everyone that their cell phones make them look fat, there probably will be a stampede to buy phone cases with vertical stripes to make folks look thinner.

Or is it horizontal stripes that do that? This is something that I should know since everything in my wardrobe was purchased to make me look less plus-size, even my umbrellas.

I’m far from being some sort of hippie Luddite (or is it Luddite hipppie?). I get it; cell phone technology has revolutionized countless aspects of our society. This doesn’t mean that we have to hold the things in our hot little hands every waking moment. The only thing humorous about this essay is the fact that three to five years from now, when we all have phones surgically implanted in our faces like some comic book boogeyman, we'll look back with fondness on the annoying habits we have today. campus talk

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Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Kristen Taekman

of Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of New York City” on her life in reality TV Interview by Lauren Douglass Photos by Anthony Batista

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Totally useless fact: A milliHelen is the quantity of beauty required to launch just one ship.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Kristen Taekman is no stranger to the spotlight. A model since age 14, she’s traveled the world for some of the best designer labels around, gracing the pages of Australian Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar and Glamour throughout her 24-year career. So when she was offered a spot on Bravo’s hit reality TV show, The Real Housewives of New York City, she knew just how to handle the limelight in style.

Here, she shares the lessons she’s learned about managing the stress of constant surveillance, internet bullies and not-so-secret spats with her closest friends. Even better, she offers a sneak-peak into Season 7 of RHONY that you won’t want to miss!

Tell us how the show this season is different from past seasons.

The dynamic has really changed with the return of Bethenny, in a great way. She’s got these friendships with these women that she’s had since the beginning, and so it’s really interesting to see the dynamic change. There’s also a lot of really fun reminiscing going on.

I think the fans will really like that and it will remind them why they love RHONY. What are some of the things that we can expect this season?

There’s a lot a lot going on! And unfortunately, if you’re happily married, then you’re the minority! There’s a lot of dating, a lot of laughing, a lot of crying. We do some fun traveling. I think all of the women were really in completely different places, but I think we have a bond of friendship that’s the common trait with all of us. Even with everything we’re going through, despite disagreements and arguments we may have, we’re super supportive of each other.

Outside of the New York franchise, do you watch any other Housewives or Bravo shows?

Oh yea. I watch Atlanta, the Beverly Hills, and New Jersey when it’s on. I also like the real estate guys on Bravo [Million Dollar Listing] and the new scripted series – Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce.

What led you to start doing reality TV? My girlfriend Brandi (Glanville) from Beverly Hills came into town a couple years ago, and she was invited to this party. I went as her plus-one. I don’t think either of us realized it was that much of a work event! I didn’t know at the time that they were looking for anybody, nor did I ever really think about this as something I actively wanted to do. At the time my daughter was 12 months old, so I still had a little two small kids – it just never was a thought. Then I got the phone call, and I was just like you know what, why not?

What have you learned since your first season?

I don’t sweat the small stuff. And I think you definitely learn to speak your mind and stand up for yourself. It’s really hard sometimes, especially this year when there were eight women. But I think it’s really important to get your opinion out there, and to stick to your guns.

What does it feel like to see things play out on TV that you didn’t necessarily know about?

It’s hard, definitely, when you’re like, “Oh my gosh, you said that about me!?” But it’s also really interesting. It happens to all of us a

Totally useless fact: The sum of all the numbers on a roulette wheel is 666.

million times a day, but to actually get to see the other side is interesting for sure. I think it makes you stronger. I have been modeling forever, and I think there’s a lot of criticism and rejection in the modeling industry. Back in the day I used to go on six to 10 castings a week and sometimes not land any of them.

So I think I have a little armor up from that.

How do you keep yourself grounded as you read about yourself on the media?

I take it all with a grain of salt. For instance, somebody said something about me last night, something not nice at all. And yesterday was my birthday, so I responded. I was like, “you know what lady,” I said, “thanks a lot, I really appreciate it. It’s my birthday today and I’m trying to keep things light.” Then she responded back, “I’m so sorry, you’re right, I’ve just had such a hard day!” (Laughs.) And I was like, “that’s awesome. This random chick said something nasty about me on twitter and it really had nothing to do with me!”

I definitely ignore it, too, because this person has never met me. They don’t know me, and if they have an opinion, fine, that’s what twitter is for, but my mom taught me a long time ago if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.

So if you had the power to change anything about filming, what would it be?

I would have to say, not necessarily for myself, but to show more casual events. I’d like to see more time in each of the women’s homes, more just sort of walking down the street. But it’s really hard to do that. I don’t think people realize that especially in New York City, it’s hard to even get clearance to walk down the street with a camera.

What’s up next for you?

I have this blog called Last Night’s Look kristencarrolltaekman.com, and that’s been a really fun outlet for me. Basically the day after the show, I go on and let fans know what I was wearing and where you can get it. I think a lot of people have been very surprised that a lot of my looks are very affordable.

I also started nail polish line called Pop Of Color and that’s going to be sold at Ricky’s in New York City starting in mid-May, which Is very, very exciting for me. The line is all vegan and has 12 colors. I also have a jewelry collaboration line with Jennifer Miller Jewelry.

I helped design a little capsule collection.

You actually see this whole thing play out over the season for me, so it’s kind of cool. It’s hard when you’re a housewife and your kids start to go to school and you’re like, oh what am I going to do now? That’s a lot of what was happening for me this season.

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list-lovers! by john scheck

Reasons Why You Should Stop Reading Lists 1) Because lists are mostly idiotic, but more importantly, because lists are perverting what we read on the Internet. In case you haven’t noticed almost everything written on the web these days comes in the form of a moronic series that coaxes people into clicking through, page after page, as if we’re rats tapping a button to get a pellet of cheese. The difference is that rats get fed while we’re just left with a block of wasted time.

Stating the Incredibly Obvious No.21

Never get behind an old person in the supermarket line.

Even if they only have one damn thing, you’re in for a siege… guaranteed! If the total is $14.99 of course they have the change and will go to absurd lengths to dig the coins out of their handbags, pockets or maybe they just forgot that they had it in their other hand. As they take this vaudeville coin search gag to the outer limits of humor, it’s hard to keep a stiff upper lip when you look at another register and people who weren’t even born when you got in line are walking out with their purchases.

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Totally useless fact: A female swine, or a sow, will always have a even number of teats or nipples, usually 12.

JUST SAY NO!

Reject Your Rejection Letter In this economy, finding a job can be more difficult than Tim Tebow making it past an NFL practice squad. If you’ve recently graduated or have already started the job application process, you know this damn well by now. Enough is enough! We’re not gonna take it! NO, we ain’t gonna take it! Give your prospective employer a little taste of his or her medicine with this timely rejection letter of your own!

Dear Mr./Mrs./Ms.

,

I regret to inform you that your rejection letter has subsequently been rejected by me. Having (number) applications submitted over this year alone, and receiving rejection notices for every single one of them, I am forced to refuse your refusal to allow me a position in your department.

Your diligence in rejecting me aside, I am afraid that I cannot accept the terms of your dismissal due to the fact that it does not meet my needs at this moment in time. That said, I gladly accept the in your department, with position of (number) per year. payment starting at $ I look forward to seeing you on my start date.

Best of luck rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,

Totally useless fact: It takes 8.5 minutes for light to get from the sun to earth.

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one to one with

“It’s going to be fun”

On Living Authentically An interview with RJ Mitte Interview by Lauren Douglass

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Totally useless fact: Lightning strikes the earth about 8 million times a day.

one to one with After five riveting seasons on AMC’s Emmy and Golden Globe Award-winning drama, Breaking Bad, RJ Mitte’s young career is still picking up steam. In the past year he has been the celebrity face of GAP International’s 2014 Lived In Spring campaign, costar on ABC Family’s primetime hit show Switched at Birth, and has transitioned into film with fantasy thriller, House of Last Things and soon to be released Dixieland.

Diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy at the young age of three, Mitte has undoubtedly bucked the damaging stereotypes facing people with disability. He has served as official Ambassador for United Cerebral Palsy and Shriners Childrens Hospitals, in addition to speaking out around the country about his own issues with bullying and prejudice.

Here, he shares with us some of his experiences, and how they’ve taught him the importance of living authentically – both on and off screen.

“people need to have a more honest truth to who they are”

How has Cerebral Palsy affected your career?

My condition gave me my career. At least, I think that it definitely contributed. I work with it and utilize it to the best of my ability.

The thing about disability is that disability is knowledge; disability is something that everyone can learn a lot from and grow from. It’s very important that we have this knowledge and are able to learn from it.

Dixieland has been described as a crime and obsessive love story. Can you tell me more about it?

It’s going to be fun. There are a lot of hard decisions in it, but it’s going to be a good story that needs to be told. I don’t want to give too much away! I think people are going to enjoy the writing.

How do you prepare for your characters?

It always varies, but I always try to base my reactions on screen on what I would do – how I would react in a certain situation.

Then I go off of what the writers put down, and try to move that towards my character. I try to base everything off an actuality – how my character, how a real person, would really respond. If you put yourself into a character, you can have so much more fun and really let things play out naturally.

It has real life to it – the kind that most movies and most TV shows don’t have.

I think people need more authenticity on screen. They need to see more real people and true-to-life events. I’m very interested to see the reception.

I try to take some experiences that I’ve been through and use those towards the creation of an idea of a person, and then I let the story and the other actors help motivate and push that toward what the story needs and what the story wants.

Tell me what you learned from your experience on Breaking Bad. So many things! I learned so much about what I needed to do and what I needed to bring to the character. What I learned there is something you can’t replace; it’s something you can’t really describe or learn in a class. But it’s the most important thing in this industry.

If you were to give your younger self a piece of advice, what would you say?

You know, there are so many things I would change and say, it’s just too many to pick just one. And yet, you always have to continue to move forward. So I guess really, I wouldn’t change a thing! So many of the things that I learned I learned on my own, and I find that’s always the best way: when you pick things up through the space you’re in and the experiences you have and the things you have to do.

How did you get started in acting?

I started with my little sister. She got cast out of Texas, and I moved to Los Angeles when I was 12. When you move to L.A., if you don’t go to school, don’t join a gang and don’t act, then you’re not really able to do anything! So I started acting to meet people my own age. I also started working doing background on quite a few shows, taking acting classes at the same time.

Then after about six months, Breaking Bad came along. I auditioned five times in LA and once in New Mexico, and everything just took off from there.

Totally useless fact: Only female mosquitoes will bite you.

What message has your career inspired that you might like to share with your fans?

Always be you and who you are. The more you are who you are, the more people will be open to receive you and to understand where you’re coming from. I find that people need to have a more honest truth to who they are verses trying to give a façade and an idea of something they’re not. I think people need to sow inspiration into others, too, which only happens when you’re being true to yourself. campus talk

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FROM FARM TO STAR In a story strikingly similar to something straight from cinema, Terry Dale Parks found his love for storytelling and acting while growing up on a ranch in Oklahoma. With limited resources, his imagination, The Carol Burnett Show and The Andy Griffith Show served as entertainment, sparking a passion for storytelling, speech and acting. With college wrapped and his sights set high, Terry packed his ’83 Chevy pickup and headed for Los Angeles.

After a staggered stint in California – practically homeless and homesick for the ranch – Terry returned to Oklahoma, inheriting the ranch he loved so much. He reconnected with his roots and found himself much more in tune with who he was. Within a few months he met a casting director while attending an acting workshop. A few weeks later, that same director cast Terry in his first feature film, Lone Star State of Mind with Joshua Jackson and Thomas Haden Church.

Interview By Daniel Sutphin

The Art

of Storytelling

with Terry Dale Parks 16

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Totally useless fact: Christmas trees usually grow for about 15 years before they are sold.

FROM FARM TO STAR Now, Terry stars in the summer blockbuster, Terminator: Genisys, as well as the sequel in the Maze Runner franchise, Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials. Beyond the big screen, he will hit the small screen as a recurring character on ABC’s new drama, Astronaut Wives Club.

Terry sits down with us to discuss his full-circle story of stardom, self-sincerity in the art of storytelling and his upcoming catalog of films and television.

Tell me some about your role in Terminator: Genisys I play the head of a security cyber facility.

I can’t say a ton about it but I got to work with some great actors – Jason Clark, who plays John Connor, and Emelia Clark from Game of Thrones. They brought Arnold (Schwarzenegger) back, too! The energy he brought to the set was great. Everything that Arnold has gone through in his personal life has made him into this fatherly-like figure – a kinder, gentler Arnold.

The producers and director focused hard on getting back to the original James Cameron films; what he did with them was really innovative and had a lot of interesting things about the original terminator and the relationships between the characters.

I think that it is where Genisys is headed back toward.

How did you prepare for that sort of role?

Every project is totally different – sometimes you can get prepared and you know what’s going to happen to you; other times you show up and they say you have a meeting at 2 p.m. to fit you into a harness. “Harness!”

(Laughs). That implies that you might be flying, which was a bit of a surprise, but I think its going to look really cool. It’s like playing the adult version of cops and robbers, only they strap you in a harness and fly through the air.

Tell me some about the difference in sets between Maze Runner and Terminator.

The thing about Terminator was how much they wanted to get back to the original, and to what made Terminator so special in the first couple films. It was a very creative process and a well-written script. It’s got some twists and turns in it that will blow people away.

On Maze Runner, it picks up where the last film left off; you literally don’t miss a beat.

The director of both Maze Runner films, Wes Ball, is a genius with special effects and his personal brain was heavily involved with the creation of both films.

In Terminator, it is much more of a team-base.

They’re both story-driven scripts. It’s one thing to have a bunch of “sci-fi blah,” but it’s another to have something unique, wellwritten and story driven. To me, that’s what makes all the special effects really work.

With Astronaut Wives Club coming up, do you find yourself gravitating more towards TV? What’s interesting about television writing over the last 10 years is how much it has changed and how well-written shows have become. I think one of the reasons is because of the continuing saga, continuing story; Lost really set it all up. I think television has really opened up writers’ ability to tell these unique, extravagant twists and turns because they can reveal things at a much different pace than they could in film.

Plus, I think writers just want to work on TV and that trickled down to us. I think I am moving toward TV because for us for actors, when we see that kind of writing taking place on an episodic show, that makes us want to be a part of it.

Do you enjoy a character that is closeended like in a film or a character in television where you have multiple episodes to develop?

I prefer the multiple episodes to develop the character. Film is great, but once the story is done, it’s done. With television there is always a continuation of story, a new possibility, a new thing that can happen with your character; there is a mystery to it.

Totally useless fact: Christmas trees have been sold in the U.S. since 1850.

For instance, when we were shooting Astronaut Wives Club, they ran some tests in L.A. and afterward, they realize they had to write more stuff in for my character because there were some things that didn’t make sense about the character. That’s great for me because I get to go back and do more to tell the story on episode two, while we’re working on episode five or six. You’re always working on multiple episodes at a time.

The last day of shooting we were on two different stages shooting scenes from four different episodes in one day. There was a lot of transitioning – getting scripts from this episode and then getting scripts from that episode.

Do you have flexibility to bring yourself into the characters or do you have total separation from one to the other?

I think most of the great actors do, and I do as well. We try to thread ourselves into the characters. In the end, it’s that self-exposure of who you are or that character is that gives the character depth and makes it interesting. It’s kind of like (Lawrence) Olivier said, “It’s not who I become to play the character, it’s who the character becomes because I play them.”

For me, I draw from where I come from – Oklahoma and growing up on a ranch with a practical, common-sense upbringing.

What do you see yourself going toward more in the future? Film or the ranch?

Just because of the nature of the beast, I’m having to spend more and more time in L.A. these days. My family and I are looking at relocating permanently to L.A. I inherited the ranch we have; its been in my family since the 1930s. It’s like when you play tag when you’re a kid, you always have a home-base. The ranch is like our homebase; we will never let go of that.

It’s really all full circle. I left L.A. in late ’99 when Y2K was the scare. Now, here I am 15 years later and I’m in a situation where I’m going back to California. I remember driving around and seeing people in the park and wandering how do people afford to live in these apartments and I was practically homeless at the time. Now, I’m in a situation where I am trying to find a house and moving my family. Wrapping my mind around the fact that I can do that now and where I was 15 years ago, it kind of blows my mind.

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When you see it around town…

…you’ll say to yourself, “hey, that’s the What’s Happening Truck!”

FOR OUTDOOR ADVERTISING OPPORTUNITIES, CONTACT SHANE AT 352-371-5881 OR EMAIL US AT: INFO@THEWHATSHAPPENINGTRUCK.COM

charted miss universe by planet

why I use imdb

Earth

KOI-55.01

mars

Kepler-16b

TO check new movie announcements

HAT-P-2B

HD 126614 Ab

TO see actors previous roles

Formulhaut b

Others

To settle and argument

percentage of chart which resembles pac-man

why do people suck at trivial pursuit?

because they suck at art because they suck at science because they suck at sports resembles pac-man

because they suck at geography

does not resemble pac-man

because they suck at entertainment because they suck at history

Totally useless fact: Reno is farther west than Los Angeles.

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SUM=WTRFUN

Kwik

Tek’s

Sizzling New 2015 Products Prevent Spilling, More

Forget Spring Break. Summer break is the time to hit Florida’s lakes, rivers and beaches. Instead of elbowing your way around drunkerds by the dozen, you’re free to roam the open water any way you see fit. You can blow off steam behind a speed boat or float a spring – without spilling your beer – with Kwik Tek’s 2015 line of innovations. Kwik Tek’s SportsStuff and Airhead brands are durable enough to last this summer and beyond, plus the price is right, not counting cash saved on not spilling your beer.

HIGH ROLLER 2 ($359.99) HIGH ROLLER 3 ($529.99) HIGH ROLLER 4 ($699.99) Leave your drink in the boat because Sportsstuiff’s unique, multi-sphere design barely touches the water with up to four riders. A strategically placed air chamber on back supports knees and feet for comfort while gripping whips and turns.

LIVE WIRE 2 ($349.99) LIVE WIRE 3 ($429.99) Dual tow points provide an array of riding options for up to three thrill seekers and electrifying graphics are sure to turn heads. As an added bonus, topside stabilizer fins help defy centrifugal force on the widest and tightest turns, so technically, you may not spill your beer on this ride, either.

That’s only recommended when cruising swimming areas checking out the scenery, though.

BUNGEE TUBE TOW ROPE EXTENSION ($14.99) Add extra zing, excitement and comfort to any tubing ride with Airhead’s Bungee Tube Rope Extension. The bungee cord attaches between your boat’s tow point and the tube tow rope, resulting in burst of speed as the bungee stretches and contracts. It also helps reduce wear and tear on tubes by absorbing sudden jerks from slack in the line. It stretches up to five feet and a 4,150-pound tensile strength can hold up to four riders.

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DOCK BUMPERS (Corner Bumper $29.99) Heavy duty, commercial grade bumpers protect your boat and your personal dock or marina slip. Manufactured from UV and tear-resistant vinyl/polyester try-laminate and filled with high-density, closed cell foam, you never have to worry about dings and scratches when parking to unload or for long-term storage of your boat.

Totally useless fact: A group of jellyfish is called a ‘smack.’

SUM=WTRFUN CAMO SUP SS ($1,299.99) So killer Kwik Tek created its own brand complete with logo, website and social media accounts devoted to Inflatable SUPs and SUP accessories. The “SS” stands for “Super Stable,” and even larger riders can stand while sipping their favorite beverage. It’s great for beginners and experts – such as extreme white water paddlers – appreciate the stiffness, lower standing area, tapered rails and aggressive nose that slices through waves with ease. Check out the website (AirheadSUP.com) for an entire line of accessories to build the ultimate ride.

FLOATING HAMMOCK ($34.99) Tan and stay cool with the incredibly comfortable design of Airhead’s Floating Hammock. Made of Textilene mesh, it’s soft but durable and allows you to lie down or sit up. The head and foot rests inflate and deflate quickly and it’s easy to store in your boat or pool house.

RIVER OTTER ($69.99) Florida may be famous for its beaches but floating one of the many springs or rivers can be just as fun and relaxing, especially on the River Otter. This heavy gauge PVC tube has two molded handles for comfort and come with a protective double stitched polyester cover for a stable, trouble-free float on rough waters. Link to friends with two rope anchors on both sides. Oh, and it has a molded drink holder, too.

SHRED TIME ($179.99) This lightweight twin-tip free ride wakeboard is designed to help youth riders of all levels excel at the sport. It’s continuous rocker is fast and forgiving. At 124cm long, it’s ideal for youth riders up to 130 pounds. Two removable fiberglass reinforced nylon fins provide excellent tracking and carving.

WIDEBODY WATER SKIS ($209.99) At 65.5 inches long, the extra support and stability of the AHS-1400 Combo Widebody Skis is perfect for all skiers. The wide tip displaces more water for easy start-ups and the hourglass shape makes for low-effort turning, even at the slowest speeds.

Advanced skiers can use the wide tips for jumping wakes and fiberglass, reinforced fins provide precise tracking.

FLOATING COUCH ($139.99) Airhead’s designed the ultimate island for up to three adults or four kids to relax at the lake or pool. It has a large back rest that wraps around for comfort and a top surface constructed of heavy vinyl will hold up for flip attempts off of the large lounging surface. Available in aqua, lime or tangerine.

Totally useless fact: Alabama was the first state in the United States to officially recognize Christmas in 1836.

WAKE SHAKER ($159.99) A newly designed channeled bottom reduces water tension and makes kneeboarding easier and more enjoyable. Rail-torail transitions are a breeze and the Wake Shaker’s massive rocker and beveled edges make for a smoother ride on sharp turns and surface tricks. No one likes getting hung up during a spin and you’ll be able to pull it off with deep knee wells for control and a responsive feel. campus talk

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SURF’S UP

Lose Those

By Daniel Sutphin

Beach-Day Blues

Plan Ahead

Leave early

The beach is a top summer-trip staple – you aren’t the only person with the beach-trip itch (not to be confused with sand rashes).

Parking is always a problem at the beach. If you want to avoid the parking lot rat race, get up early and beat the crowd. Check online, or call your destination’s community services department to find out the average time people begin showing up and plan to arrive before then; common sense would dictate 10:30 to 12 p.m.

Sure, getting up early sucks, but once you jet into a wide open parking space and feel that summer breeze, a little grogginess won’t be a concern. Plus, beaches are made for napping.

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Stress rarely sparks when a day at the beach lingers the mind.

The cool breeze, the warmth of the sun, the crash of the waves – all flash instantly when a shore soiree seeps into play. But getting to the beach, now that’s an entirely different story. Unless pleasantly plopped in a living arrangement near the coast, the drive to the beach can be intensely stressful.

The key to beating thloasnening. beach-day blues is p Make a List Pack the Night Before

To help you and your party get out of the door faster, pack your belongings the night before. Get the car loaded with clothes, towels and non-perishables. Clean the coolers and set them out as well. In the morning, load the drinks and perishables, get in the car and ride out! You can get ice when you get closer, or need gas.

A couple weeks before the trip, start making a list. As you think of things you want or need to take, add them as you go. Then the night before, go back through and add or eliminate any other essentials.

Most of these tips are common sense, but when you are in a rush, or elated by the idea of a day away from “it all”, it can be easy to forget something.

Totally useless fact: Michael Jackson’s 1988 autobiography Moonwalk was edited by Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis.

SURFâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S UP Beach-Day Essentials, Etc

CHECK LIST

Personal Items D rivers Licenses C redit or Debit Cards C ash H ealth Insurance cards A uto insurance cards R ental/Hotel Confirmation Information (If staying overnight) Clothes 2 Swimsuits each Swim cover ups Underclothes Socks Belts T-Shirts Shorts Sundresses/skirts Flip-flops Water shoes Sandals Sneakers Toiletries for Everyone S oap S hampoo Conditioner

L otion A loe D eodorant Razors

B rushes/combs H air elastics and clips Glasses

M ake up bag F eminine products M edicine For the Car Ride Car chargers Snacks & drinks Garbage/plastic bag Portable items from Entertainment List

Beach Stuff B each towels U mbrellas B lankets C hairs Cooler with wheels

S maller portable cooler B each Cart/ portable wheels G oggles F loats B ig beach bag W aterproof bag or plastic bag for wallet and cell phones S maller beach bag or drawstring bag for kids to carry D rinks Food

P lastic-ware N apkins B ottle opener G arbage bag/ plastic bags W aterproof sunscreen M ore waterproof sunscreen L ip balm/protector B ug spray H air brush Hats

S un glasses Entertainment & Technology Waterproof Camera Digital Camera Laptop iPad Portable speakers Cords & chargers Books Magazines Frisbee Basketball Nerf Football Tennis Bag Deck of cards

Totally useless fact: Dr. Ruth was trained as a sniper by the Israeli military.

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23

play with yourself

E N U J

GO FIGURE

CR O S SWORD

SN OW FL AK ES

C RYPTO QUIP{

SUDOKU

Totally useless fact: ABBA had to negotiate the rights to their name with a canned fish company.

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rs are answepage 73 on

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star Map

hocus focus

CRYPTO QUOTE

play with yourself

MAZE

word searc h

Even exchange

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Totally useless fact: PETA once asked the Pet Shop Boys to consider changing their name to Rescue Shelter Boys.

JUN E FEAR KNOT

you sooooo cheated

w is h in g

well

AMAZING where’s frank?

Totally useless fact: At the Wife Carrying World Championships in Finland, first prize is the wife’s weight in beer.

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tic tac toe!

Use this space for TIC TAC TOE, or anything else you can think of to spare the borEdom of class!

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Totally useless fact: About three-quarters of fresh water usage in American households occurs in the bathroom.

Hahaha Q: Did your hear about the man with a broken left arm and broken left leg?

A: Don’t worry he’s “ALRIGHT” now!

Q: Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

A: Because it’s pointless.

Remember

Q: Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?

A: Because he was a little shellfish

send all jokes to funny@mycampus talk.com and you could win a Campus Talk t-shirt.

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?

A: An impasta

Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

A: Because he felt crummy Q: How do trees access the internet?

A: They log in.

Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?

A: Because he wanted to see time fly!

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!!

Totally useless fact: The flashes of colored light you see when you rub your eyes are called “phosphenes.”

Q: What lights up a soccer stadium?

A: A soccer match

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29

THERE IS LIFE BEYOND MINIMUM WAGE

Summer Options

for Cool (i.e. broke)

Kids Mommy and daddy don’t have a place on Cape Cod where you can binge drink with other rich loafers? Sure, it would be nice to do an internship in New York but who has the loot for that kind of extra credit? Before you start feeling too sorry for yourself because you aren’t a trust fund thumb-sucker, remember that there are lots of cool things you can do that don’t take a family fortune to pull off.

Hitchhike Across the USA

You read On the Road in freshman lit, which is all the instruction you need. If film director John Waters can pull it off in his mid-60s, there is nothing keeping a strapping young college student like you from doing it. Inspired by the great Kerouac, I made my way across America on thumb power between my junior and senior years. I had a great time and the worst thing that happened to me was waiting three hours for a ride in the blistering heat of a Kansas wheat field … that and escaping from the clutches of a serial killer. I’m just kidding about the serial killer part. The horror movie industry has vastly exaggerated that hazard much like Jaws oversold the dangers of ocean swimming.

To this day, I always stop for hitchhikers, no matter how seedy they may look; the stories are always worth it.

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Learn Something New

Martial arts, cooking, painting, knitting, calligraphy, et cetera are all things you can learn to do from YouTube videos. If you don’t already play a musical instrument, now is the best time to start. From my experience of learning piano, I’d suggest something smaller … the smaller, the better because mobility can be very important. I worked in a bar years ago that featured a lot of live music, and I remember the work drummers had setting up for a gig. I always asked them, “Don’t you sometimes wish that you had learned to play the flute?

Volunteer at an Elderly Care Facility

I know, I wouldn’t want to do it either but there are actually people who perform saintly chores like that. Anyone with the energy and heart to pull this off after working a full-time, minimum wage summer job has more character and determination than I could ever imagine. I wouldn’t even have the temerity to make this sort of thing up on my résumé.

Go to the Beach – Lake – Pool – Pond to Swim and Drink Beer

Of course, this isn’t new to any young person on the planet.

I list this simply because as you grow older you will realize – as have I – that this is truly one of life’s great pleasures, whether it’s at an abandoned rock quarry in Indiana, on the coast of California, on the white sand beaches of Florida or a rocky Greek island. If you are waiting for life to get better than some beers and a swim with your friends, you’re in for a long wait.

Totally useless fact: Pentheraphobia is the persistent fear of your mother-in-law.

oooh, nasty!

irty? d e r a s e t a roomm photos. r u o y k in h T ut these ur

Check eoto send us picturees toof yo

Feel fre ment or roommat â&#x20AC;&#x2122;d love to nasty aparytca mpustalk.com, wlde for you. mail@m em off to the wor show th

Need a new apartment or roommate, go to www.collegerentals.com.

Totally useless fact: In early drafts of the Back to the Future script, the time machine was built out of an old refrigerator.

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CampusLodgeGainesville.com '))'01,+ , " 7 '+#03'))# 7

NOW LEASING FOR FA LL 2015!

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you need these Summer Sorbet Body Scrub

Keep skin smooth with the scent of summer and all natural vegan ingredients. This body scrub features the invigorating aroma of lemon, nutmeg, and lavender, deliciously combined with vitamin E oil, sunflower oil, sugar and colloidal oatmeal to make for super soft skin. $10.99 theorangeowlshop.com

Ice Pop Sleeves

What’s better than a Popsicle cozy to keep your hands from freezing? A magnetic one that you can easily store on your fridge! With Ice Pop Sleeves ready to go, you can bring on the summer heat and the frozen treats!

Set of 4; $12 etsy.com/shop/sewnerdygifts

Translucent Bronzing Tint Free from mineral oils, parabens, preservatives, and synthetic dyes, this Translucent Bronzing Tint intensifies your natural skin tone for a sun-kissed glow while gently blending and softening the appearance of blemishes. Gentle enough for sensitive skin. $45 dr.hauschka.com

Summer Essentials

By Jenna Herman

Mandalynn Sophia Ice Blue Bikini

This sporty-chic bikini features a modest racer-cut top paired with cheeky mid-rise bottoms with cutouts on the hips. $140 lulus.com

My Cabana Boy

Getting full protection from the summer sun is easy when you can effortlessly apply sunscreen to the hardest to reach spots like the back, shoulders and back of the legs. My Cabana Boy provides an extra reach for you to better apply your favorite spray-on sunscreen, lotion, tanning oil and after sun aloe. $13.99 my-cabanaboy.com

Poolside Pretty Black Bikini

An afternoon of sun just wouldn’t be the same without this black stretch knit bikini. Bustier top includes a detachable halter strap, push-up padding, and underwire for complete support and comfort. The matching high-rise bottoms feature sexy cutouts accents at the waist above the cheeky-cut backside. $44 lulus.com

KOA Swim On the Horizon Wild at Heart Reversible Blue Bikini Look fiercer than the deep blue sea in this reversible bikini. This eyecatching bralette top features a unique cutout design with a deep V front. The low-rise bottoms feature strappy side accents and a cheeky cut. Royal blue and also completely reversible for an all-black swimsuit. $138 lulus.com 34

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Totally useless fact: On Good Friday in 1930, the BBC reported, “There is no news.” Instead, they played piano music.

you need these

BeachBUB

Keep your beach umbrella anchored without breaking a sweat! The BeachBUB is a user friendly umbrella base that is not only portable and can fit right into your beach bag, but when it’s time to use it you simply fill it with sand and you’ve got a sturdy base to keep your umbrella in place. $19.95 beachbub.com

Deep Eddy Lemon Flavored Vodka Handcrafted at the Deep Eddy Vodka distillery in Texas, this awardwinning vodka is mixed with real lemon juice to create a new twist on the usual citrus vodka mixed with club soda, iced tea or any of your other favorite concoctions. $19.99 deepeddyvodka.com

Convertible White Lace Bandeau Dress to Skirt

This gorgeous convertible dress to skirt features a bandeau top with halter neck and a lace bodice that can be converted into a skirt that ties around the front for a snug fit. Available in black or white. $49.95 yandy.com

Boho Beach Dress

This boho style cover-up and beach dress features a comfortable, loose fit, deep v-neck and half sleeves with green, pink and orange trim. Available in white or mocha. $35.95 yandy.com

Citrine Tonzai Raglan Lavender Bikini This sweet and simple pastel lavender bikini features wide crisscrossing straps that tie at the neck, along with matching classic basic bottoms. $163 lulus.com

Bio Seaweed Gel Allin-One Unity Polish Don’t waste your summer sitting in a salon! Bio Seaweed Gel’s polish can give you stunning, chip-free, long lasting gel nails quickly and easily without the need for even a UV dryer. After simply applying two coats, this polish dries in the sun’s UV rays and can provide two or more weeks of flawless nails, without any harmful ingredients like formaldehyde, toluene, DBP, BHA or solvents! $18 bioseaweedgel.com

Tori Praver Swimwear Saffron Fuchsia Bikini Accentuate the glow of your sun-kissed skin with bright fuschia in this unique bikini. The knotted accent top features an adjustable halter strap and hidden side boning for support. $199 lulus.com

Totally useless fact: Fredric Baur invented the Pringles can. When he passed away in 2008, his ashes were buried in one.

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35

AT CAPACITY

How to Get a Table ? n o i t a v r e s on Restaurants’ e R Pssht! Busy Nights

By Daniel Sutphin

Getting a table at a busy restaurant can be difficult, whether you have a reservation or not.

To make matters worse, many restaurants – corporate-based, escpecially – have done away with offering reservations altogether. Next time you go out with friends, or a “special someone”, be the hero of the evening and side-step those pesky waiting lines with these easy tips. (Some require more planning ahead than others)

Check the bar Whether you can drink or not, the bar will often have spots open. The stigma of the bar not being romantic doesn’t hold the same relevance as that of your parents’ generation. Plus, the focus should be on the person you are with and shared experience, not the table.

Show up early There’s isn’t any written rule saying you have to eat at 8 p.m. Get in there early,so you and your date can not only enjoy faster service, but also a more casual dinner experience.

Other benefits include: More prompt service; closer quarters (sans the table between you); and plenty of booze if the date goes bad.

Other benefits include: An early exit opening up the night for other activities; and a stress-free date, allowing for better memories, better reward.

Go somewhere they know you Restaurants will claim that they don’t play favorites – and on the busiest nights, that can be true – but if the hostess and servers know you, you stand a better chance to get a table.

Other benefits include: The service will likely be more efficient and thorough (unless you are a crap tipper) and a less-stressful evening, allowing you and your date to enjoy yourselves.

Totally useless fact: Kool-Aid was originally marketed as “Fruit Smack.”

Tip Well (25% or more) Don’t be cheap on your date. Whether it is a special evening or not, the better you tip, the more likely you are to get special treatment when you go back to that establishment. It’s also not very flattering – or romantic – to host a date on a “magical” evening and then cheap-out at the close.

Other benefits include: A good conscience that you didn’t jip a member of a below-minimumwage workforce; and if the person you are dating will think you a moregenerous and caring person.

Compliment the chef It seems cheesy, but appreciation is always well-received. This obviously helps more if it is a place you have been before, and know the menu to some extent, but in the food business, compliments can be hard to come by. Offering a high-quality bottle of liquor to the chef could also work some wonder in such a predicament!

Other benefits include: A regular place to take your date and have a promising experience if other venues fall through; and better service due to a more memorable face-to-face interaction with the staff.

If these tips do not help in acquiring a table on busy dining nights, the key to any great night out is to just be flexible; he venue is usually not why you are going out. As long as your date or party is present and enjoying your company, then in most cases, the night is a success. campus talk

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37

for the girls

Beauty

By Jenna Herman

Fruit Pigmented Healthy Skin Foundation Powder: Creme This super lightweight face powder perfectly enhances your complexion while improving and protecting your skin. Features an all-natural formula packed full of anti-aging vitamins, antioxidants and skin purifying eucalyptus, soothing calendula chamomile and rose. Does not contain talc, chemical preservatives, fragrances or any other toxins. $28 100percentpure.com

Masala Chai Soap

Indulge in the sweet, spicy aroma of Masala Chai while showering.

Reminiscent of a steaming cup of chai, this soap features cardamom, pepper, ginger, clove and lemongrass essential oils with chamomile powder. $6.99 theorangeowlshop.com

Mangosteen Whipped Body Butter

This luxurious body butter deeply moisturizes, softens and protects. Features coconut, avocado and shea butters for promoting amazingly smooth skin. $25 100percentpure.com French Green Clay Clarifying Calming Mask Revitalize your complexion and clear breakouts with the calming and rednessreducing power of French green clay, chamomile, beetroot powder and tea tree and lemongrass essential oils. Simply add water to a teaspoon of this refreshing powder, apply a thin layer to your skin, wait 20 minutes and voilà! Be amazed with your glowing skin and new je ne sais quoi. $16 etsy.com/shop/noendnaturals

Blackberry Long Last Liquid Eyeliner

Clarifying Clay Mask

All natural liquid liner richly pigmented from crushed, micronized black tea leaves instead of harsh synthetic dyes. Long lasting and smudge proof for all day wear. Safe and gentle enough for sensitive eyes and water resistant. $25 100percentpure.com 38

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Free of synthetic fragrances, dyes and preservatives, this clay mask deeply cleanses, invigorates and clarifies all skin conditions and effectively helps minimize the appearance of blemishes and enlarged pores. $50 dr.hauschka.com

Totally useless fact: M&M’s actually stands for “Mars & Murrie’s,” the last names of the candy’s founders.

for the girls Fair Trade & Organic Lemongrass Lime Pump Soap

This smooth and luxurious pump soap is free of synthetic detergents and preservatives while featuring organic shikakai, organic grape juice and Dr. Bronner’s amazing pure-castile liquid soap base for a rich and moisturizing lather. $9.99 drbronner.com

Fair Trade & Organic Lavender Coconut Hair Crème Keep your luscious locks feeling silky smooth and manageable with organic hemp oil and jojoba oil featured in this deliciously aromatic Hair Crème. $7.99 drbronners.com

’s Haile

Angels Pet Rescu AND e

Cocktails For A Cause THURSDAY

Lemongrass & Ginger Bath, Body, & Massage Oil

JUNE 18 FROM 6-8 PM

“Bring your dog to mingle with other sociable dogs and their best friends and have a cocktail.”

Relax muscles and joints while moisturizing, purifying and repairing skin. Lemongrass works as a natural astringent and anti-inflammatory while ginger warms and soothes the skin. $9.99 sheamoisture.com

Location

CHOP STIX BISTRO RESTAURANT - PATIO 2441 NW 43rd St, #13, Gainesville Located in Thornebrook Village behind (North) of Fresh Market

For A Cause

Your $5 donation will help benefit Haile’s Angels Pet Rescue.

Complimentary appetizers for the humans and treats for the pooches.

Coconut Lime Shower Gel This hydrating body wash refreshes and soothes while gently cleansing your body.

Therapeutic herbs, rose hydrosol, green tea and seaweed nourish for healthier skin. $18 100percentpure.com

“Ask the Vet”

15 minute Q&A session provided by a local vet.

Medical Care, Laser Surgery, Therapeutic Laser Treatments, Dentistry, Pet Supplies, Natural Pet Food, Boarding, Grooming, Adoptions, House Calls Available

5231 SW 91ST DRIVE, HAILE VILLAGE CENTER • 352.377.6003 • HAILEANIMALCLINIC.COM

Totally useless fact: Johnny Cash’s “A Boy Named Sue” was penned by beloved children’s author Shel Silverstein.

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Music Reviews

By Daniel Sutphin

Tune In Turn On Plug In

The Vaccines English Graffiti The thirds studio album from the English indie rock band, English Graffiti ventures away from the band’s straightforward rock sound, adding more airy vocal tones and dynamics previously not utilized on the band’s albums.

Drawing more from a pop and hip-hop soundscape, the blend still harkens back to the band’s roots with a dominant fuzz guitar throughout the album.

The blend hits best with tracks, Dream Lover, Radio Bikini, and the opening track, Handsome.

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Tyler, the Creator Cherry Bomb Odd Future member, Tyler, The Creator returns with his third album, releasing a driving, 14-track LP. The album kicks off with a minimalistic, but forwardmoving track Deathcamp that well emobodies its name. The gritty synth melody is undeniably motivating and sets the scene for the overall album. Tyler blends rock, jazz and straight-forward rhythm and beats throughout the albym. Other standouts include Find Your Wings and Fucking Young/Perfect.

Snoop Dogg Bush Teaming with producer Pharell Williams, Snoop brings the funk on his newest album. Setting his voice lower in the mix, Snoop takes a back seat on the vocals and rarely raps. The music shines the most on Bush, blending something that harkens back to a mix of Parliament, Rick James and Sly and the Family Stone.

Standouts include Peaches N Cream, opener California Roll, featuring Stevie Wonder and Run Away with Gwen Stefani.

Earl Sweatshirt I Don’t Like Shit I Don’t Go Outside Another Odd Future alum, Sweatshirt’s sophomore effort sticks to its name throughout the album. Short and sweet, the album displays Earl’s notable, old-school-styled rhymes. Tight and compressed, the vocals further convey the artist’s overall feeling of being stuck in life.

Standouts include: Guilt, Inside and Grown Ups.

Totally useless fact: Carly Simon’s dad is the Simon of Simon and Schuster. He co-founded the company.

What in the world?

What do you call a pair of rubbersoled shoes worn for gym class, casual activities, or athletics?

Tennis Shoes.

Sneakers.

Gym Shoes.

Totally useless fact: In the 1970s, Mattel sold a doll called â&#x20AC;&#x153;Growing Up Skipper.â&#x20AC;? Her breasts grew when her arm was turned.

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charted What happens when you press the ‘CLOSE DOOR’ button on an elevator

what I do when I can’t hear someone

Tell them I can’t hear them NOTHING

Move closer so I can hear repeatedly shout WHAT?!

Laugh, and hope it wasn’t a question

things that an average person would do during a zombie apocalypse

kill zombies discover a cure find their missing loved one Lescape to the open ocean

reasons i wash my hands in the bathroom

I actually got some form, of waste on my hands there’s someone else in the bathroom and I don’t want to seem gross

taste delicious

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Totally useless fact: Judge Judy makes $45 million a year.

game on!

Sore Thumbs

By Daniel Sutphin

charts

Batman: Arkham Knight PS4, PC, Xbox One June 23 With an explosive wrap, the Arkham series finale pits Batman at war with the ultimate threat against the city. Scarecrow reemerges, uniting with a roster of super villains – Penguin, Two-Face and Harley Quinn – to destroy the caped crusader for good.

Equipped with the Batmobile and the franchise’s acclaimed gameplay, gamers can tear down the streets and soar across the skyline of the massive Gotham City.

Rory McIlroy PGA Tour Xbox One, PS4 June 2015 Highlighting one of golf’s top players, EA Sports Rory McIlroy PGA Tour opens up real-world courses and epic fantasy tracks to provide a limitless golf experience, unmatched on previous golf games. Players will not only witness the most realistic representations of their favorite locales, but also get the opportunity to explore brandnew locations. Full course loading offers non-stop options when attacking the green and zero wait times when moving from one hole to the next.

Totally useless fact: That thing you use to dot your lowercase “i” is called a tittle.

Elder Scrolls Online: Tamriel Unlimited PS4, Mac, PC, Xbox One June 9 The award-winning RPG franchise returns on a massive level. The Elder Scrolls Online takes place roughly 1,000 years before the events in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim and the coming of the Dragonborn, and just before the rise of Tiber Septim, the first Emperor of Tamriel. War for rule over the land plagues the continent. Three alliances emerge, battling for control of the Imperial City. With the great powers distracted, darker forces are moving to destroy the world.

The game’s combat system allows you to focus on action and tactics, not the UI. Use any weapon or armor at any time and customize your abilities to play the way you want as you uncover the mysteries of Tamriel and seek heroic quests on your own terms. Players wander the far reaches of Skyrim, the mysterious lands of Morrowind, the metropolis of Daggerfall and beyond. The choices made and the battles joined will shape the player’s destiny and the world of Tamriel. campus talk

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get these

HealthyLiving

By Jenna Herman

GOODIES

POUND Rockout Results System

This fun full-body cardio jam session combines light resistance training with constant stimulated drumming for strengthening and sculpting muscles. Rock out to your favorite music while drumming your way to a leaner physique.

2 payments of $39.99 + $14.99 S&H; getpound.com

Reprogram Your Life: Bioscience for a Healthier You This is your complete guide to an easy, effective method that can turn your health and life around for good. Dr. Steven Willey outlines simple changes that can bring you to a new level of well being in this practical and user-friendly program. $17.99 amazon.com 44

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The Her Campus Guide to College Life: How to Manage Relationships, Stay Safe and Healthy, Handle Stress, and Have the Best Years of Your Life!

From dating to internships, this is everything you need to know about college. $11.40 target.com; hercampus.com/book

The China Study: The Most Comprehensive Study of Nutrition Ever Conducted And the Startling Implications for Diet, Weight Loss, and Long-term Health This is no diet book; The China Study cuts through the haze of misinformation and delivers an insightful message to anyone who is living with chronic disease or anyone who is simply interested in improving their quality of life. Dr. T. Colin Campbell details the connection between nutrition and chronic diseases such as cancer, heart disease and diabetes. $3.33 valorebooks.com

Hot Yoga for Beginners DVD with Matt Giordano

Get your sweat on with Matt Giordano with these three 20-minute progressive yoga flow practices.

Each practice features poses and sequences commonly found in hot yoga classes, allowing you to do them with or without a heated room. $14.98 gaiam.com Totally useless fact: The only number whose letters are in alphabetical order is 40 (f-o-r-t-y).

get these PhoneSoap

This is the first and only cell phone charger that cleans and sanitizes your phone in less than five minutes while it charges. The PhoneSoap charger uses UV light to safely get rid of bacteria growing on your phone. $59.95 phonesoap.com

STAMBA Daily Superfood Blend

Element Dark Chocolate Rice Cakes

All natural, vegan, organic ingredients combined to help boost the immune system, increase mental acuity and speed physical recovery after exertion. GMO-free and gluten-free. $59 thegrommet.com

Natalie Jill’s REV4

Created by a single mother who turned her life around, REV4 features four complete 10-minute workouts that require no equipment and can be done from the comfort of your own home. Natalie Jill’s REV4 is designed to boost your metabolism with short segments of progressively intense body weight exercise for maximum results. $14.96 amazon.com; nataliejillfitness.com

Sun & Earth

Cleaning products free of animal products, dyes, perfumes and harmful synthetics for a healthy home.

Natural Liquid Hand Soap $3.95; Natural Concentrated Liquid Dish Soap $4.95; Natural Laundry Detergent $8.95 sunandearth.com

The Rockstar Remedy: A Rock & Roll Doctor’s Prescription for Living a Long, Healthy Life Dr. Gabrielle Francis, also known as the “Rock ‘n’ Roll Doctor,” shares her unique holistic prescription to achieving health and balance, even if you don’t live like a saint. $19.99 amazon.com; therockstarremedy.com Totally useless fact: Bono was born Paul David Hewson.

Brought to you by a company dedicated to providing healthy, delicious snacks free of GMO ingredients and unnecessary additives, Element’s Dark Chocolate Rice Cakes contain simple, natural, flavorful ingredients. Rice cakes available in other flavors, including Milk Chocolate, Sweet Vanilla Orange and Strawberry’n’Cream.

Box of 12 6-packs; $54 elementsnacks.com

T Spheres Aromatherapy Massage Balls

T spheres combine massage and aromatherapy for an innovative and unique self-massage tool that soothes sore muscles and helps improve circulation, release endorphins and lessen depression and anxiety.

PERK-UP: Peppermint/Grapefruit $35; PEP-UP-MINT: Peppermint $20 thegrommet.com

Athletic Yoga: Yoga for Runners DVD with Matt Giordano Perfect for runners who would like to utilize yoga to help stretch and strengthen muscles, speed recovery and avoid injury, this program includes a Pre-Run Practice, Yoga for Conditioning, Post-Run Practice and Pose Details for a Deeper Stretch & Injury Prevention. $11.99 gaiam.com campus talk

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RIDDLE ME THIS!

MIND

A clerk at a butch er shop #1 stands five feet ten inches tall and wears s ize 13 sneakers.

What does he weig h?

GAMES

1) Meat, 2) 2nd Place, 3) Once. After that, you’d be subtracting from 48. 4) You can’t take a picture with a wooden leg; you need a camera. 5) Incorrectly

in in a r b r u o y p e e k To ing g n u lo e il h w e p sha on your couch…

#5

English What word in the s language is alway ? spelled incorrectly

#2

nning a u r e r e If you w you passed d race an n in 2nd so the per at place h place, w u be in now? o would y 46

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#3

How many times the can you subtract number two from the number fifty?

#4

In British Colum bia you cannot take a p icture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

Totally useless fact: The Edge’s name is David Howell Evans.

hahaha

Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A: A waist of time Teacher: “Which book has helped you the most in your life?”

Remember to

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?

A: Put a little boogey in it!

send all jokes funny@mycampus talk.com and you could win a Campus Talk t-shirt.

Bob: “Yeah it’s a good thing I fell off the first step.”

Teacher: “What is the chemical formula for water?”

A: Microchips!

A: Fingernails.

Jim: “Oh my God, are you okay?”

Student: “My father’s check book!”

Q: What do computers eat for a snack?

Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Bob: “Holy crap, I just fell off a 50 ft ladder.”

Student: “HIJKLMNO.”

If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. They’re normally around 90 degrees.

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?

A: A bulldozer!

Teacher: “What are you talking about?”

Student: “Yesterday you said it’s H to O!”

SIGN A LEASE & GET UP TO A

$240 GIFT CARD

great location + 24-hr fitness center + fully furnished + washer & dryer

OR NEW LOW RATES + SAVE $314 WITH ZERO DOWN ROYALVILLAGE.COM 710 SW Depot Ave #129 • 352.338.0202 Rates, fees & amenities subject to change. Limited time only.

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Totally useless fact: The Arkansas School for the Deaf’s nickname is the Leopards.

we want to know

SUPERHEROES WANTED

Queries for Quiet Minds There are some questions in life to which you might not ever get a quality answer. As frustrating as it is too sit and ponder such impossibilities, the only way to figure out the right answer, is to know how to ask the right question. To help further your already “expansive” knowledge on life and how everything works, CT has collected some of life’s ultimate questions, as well as a few others for good measure.

Why are t he interstat re highways e in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devic es plane seats instead of para under chutes?

Why do fat slim Why are cigarettes chance and the sold in gas stations n chance mea ? when smoking is in same th g prohibited there?

If you can’t drink and drive , why do you need a driver’s licen se buy liquor, and why do bars to have parking lots?

etic t phon y it ’ n s i y Wh the wa spelled unds? so

da Do you nee you silencer if to are going e? im shoot a m

Earn up to $225 this month

& $120 this week!

Donate life saving plasma.

You have the power to save lives!

Schedule an appointment at biotestplasma.com

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Have you e imagined a wver orld with no hypothetica l situations?

Totally useless fact: The little BIC pen logo guy has a name. It’s BIC Boy. Sorry if that’s a letdown.

BRING IN THIS COUPON FOR AN EXTRA

$10 BONUS! New donors only. Not valid in conjunction with any other referral fees or bonuses.

Give and get back more! campus talk

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GOODBYE AND GOOD LUCK!

A Wishing Well of Well-Wishes

Job Interviews Your college degree may give you a foot in the door, but impressing your interviewers is the only way you’ll really score. Good luck for your first job.

The toughest thing to handle in your job interview won’t be the interviewer or the questionnaire. It will be your own selfconfidence. Good luck for your new job.

Bagging this job will be a life changing experience, but if you don’t get it, your life won’t change. So relax and do your best.

If you believe you will get the job, you’ve got it already. All the best.

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The secret of acing a job interview is to stop believing in luck and start believing in yourself.

Best wishes.

Two best friends that you must take along for your interview – confidence and good luck.

Congratulations in advance.

Against you, nobody else will stand a chance.

Good luck.

You shouldn’t be afraid of the job interview. Your interviewers should be afraid of assessing a talented candidate like you. Good luck.

The success of your job interview will be the first peak of your victorious career graph. ood luck.

You don’t need good luck, you need a wake up call to realize that you’re already a winner.

Good luck.

The only problem with meeting so many new people is that most of them are going to be parting ways in a mere few years. Watching friends leave can always be tough, but you have to stay strong and be an adult. Coming up with the right words can be frustrating, so here are some well-wishes to tell your friend as they embark on his or her future.

Forget about acceptance. Forget about rejection. Focus on what’s in-between – your interview.

Good luck.

Don’t look at your future job as being larger than life. A job is only as large as the person chosen to do it. All the best.

A job interview can determine if you are good enough for a job or not. But it can’t determine what a talented person you are. Good luck.

It’s a job interview, not a rocket science exam. All the best.

Your experience is the Product. You are the Seller. Your job interviewer is a Customer and your interview is a Deal that you must make. Good luck.

Totally useless fact: The female opossum has 13 nipples.

WHO’S THE BOSS NOW?!?!

LESSONs in Management Whether it is in class, in a study group or at work, management opportunities are going to come around.

When they do, it.s good to be prepared on how to handle them. Here are some scenarios to help you handle random moments of management.

R U O H Y HAPP 11-7y

frida

3-7ur

Mon-Th

allnddaayy

1-7ay

su

saturd

s e c i l s a z z i p 1/2 priceall night on Tuesdays

happy hour

&

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”

The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.”

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

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Totally useless fact: In 1991, Wayne Allwine, the voice of Mickey Mouse, married Russi Taylor – the voice of Minnie.

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GET THE CANDY! Jurassic World WHAT: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi WHO: Chris Pratt, Judy Greer,

Ty Simpkins WHEN: June 12 The latest in the Jurassic Park franchise, Jurassic World attempts to disconnect complete from the second and third films. Taking place 22 years after the events of Jurassic Park, Isla Nublar now features a dinosaur adventure park, Jurassic World, as originally envisioned by John Hammond.

On-site staffer Owen (Pratt) conducts behavioral research on the Velociraptors. As Jurassic World’s attendance rates decline, a new attraction is created to re-spark visitor interest. The promising spark soon takes a turn as the attraction backfires.

flicks By daniel sutphin

Dope Insidious: Chapter 3 Entourage WHAT: Comedy WHO: Adrian Grenier, Jeremy

Piven, Kevin Connolly WHEN: June 3 The HBO show cast returns, but this time on the big screen.

Vinnie, Eric, Turtle, and Johnny have new ambitions but their bond remains strong. Teamed with verbose, but motivated, agent-turned-studio head Ari Gold, the boys continue to navigate the fickle and often cutthroat world of Hollywood.

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WHAT: Horror WHO: Dermot Mulroney,

Stefanie Scott, Angus Sampson WHEN: June 5 Written and directed by franchise co-creator Leigh Whannell, The latest chapter in the horror series serves as a prequel, set before the haunting of the Lambert family. The story focuses on psychic Elise Rainier (Shaye) and the development of her powerful gift. She hesitantly agrees to use her ability to contact the dead in order to help a teenage girl (Scott) who has been targeted by a dangerous supernatural entity.

WHAT: Comedy, Drama WHO: Zoë Kravitz, Forest

Whitaker, Kiersey Clemons WHEN: June 19 Malcolm is a geek, cautiously surviving life in The Bottoms in this coming-of-age comedy/ drama. The Bottoms is a tough neighborhood in Inglewood, CA filled gangsters and drugs dealers. Juggling his senior year of college applications, interviews and the SAT, Malcolm dreams to attend Harvard. A random invitation to a big underground party leads Malcolm and his friends into a, “Only in Los Angeles,” adventure teeming with offbeat characters and bad choices.

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl WHAT: Drama WHO: Olivia Cooke, Nick

Offerman, Connie Britton WHEN: June 12 Meet Greg (Mann): A high school senior who is trying to blend in anonymously. Although a typical high school approach, this quirky drama details Greg’s avoidance of deeper relationships as a survival strategy for navigating the social minefield that is teenage life.

When Greg’s mom (Britton) pushes him to spend time with Rachel (Olivia Cooke) – a girl in his class who has just been diagnosed with cancer – he learns the worth of a true bond of friendship.

Totally useless fact: Male students at Brigham Young University need a doctor’s note to grow a beard.

rent me!

e Scan th

code the

to see trailer!

Chappie WHAT: Action, Thriller WHO: Hugh Jackman, Sigourney

Small Screen

Weaver, Sharlto Copley WHEN: June 2 Director Neill Blomkamp (District 9, Elysium) brings his vision to the story of Chappie, a stolen and reprogrammed robot formerly controlled as a member of a mechanized police force in the near future. Chappie serves as the first robot to think and feel for himself. As powerful forces eye Chappie as a danger to mankind, they come full force to make sure Chappie is the last of his kind and that the status quo is maintained.

Jupiter Ascending WHAT: Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Sci-Fi WHO: Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum,

Eddie Redmayne, Sean Bean WHEN: June 2 Directors Andy and Lana Wachowski (The Matrix Trilogy) deliver another futuristic adventure focusing on Jupiter Jones (Kunis), a young destitute human woman targeted for assassination by the Queen of the Universe.

Although predicted for future greatness, Jones’ life evolves around quit the opposite – cleaning other people’s houses and endless bad breaks. When Caine (Tatum), an geneticallyengineered hunter, comes to Earth to find her, Jupiter’s supposed greatness is revealed, as she is in line for an unbelievable inheritance that could alter the cosmos balance.

Focus WHAT: Comedy, Crime, Drama WHO: Will Smith, Margot Robbie,

Rodrigo Santoro WHEN: June 2 Smith plays a seasoned master of misdirection named Nicky. He takes novice con artist Jess (Robbie) under his wing. She gets too close for comfort, so he abruptly breaks it off. Three years later, the now-seasoned former flame shows up in Buenos Aires in the middle of the high-stakes racecar circuit. Mid-scheme, Jess throws Nicky’s plans for a loop.

Totally useless fact: Obsessive nose picking is called Rhinotillexomania.

The Gunman WHAT: Action, Crime, Drama WHO: Idris Elba, Sean Penn, Javier Bardem WHEN:June 30

Sean Penn starts as a former Special Forces soldier and military contractor suffering from PTSD. As he tries to reconnect with his long-time love, demons from his past complicate his life and relationship. When his former colleagues kidnap her, Terrier (Penn) must go on the run from London to Barcelona and across Europe in order to clear his name. campus talk

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HAHAHA

A guy is walking down the street and he sees his friend with a black eye.

He asks him what happened.

His friends says, “Well I was in church and...”

The man interrupts “Church! How do you get hurt in church?”

The friend continues, “Well I was sitting behind this woman Angelina, and after a while what with all the standing, sitting and kneeling, I noticed she had developed a wedgie. Now me being a nice guy, I pulled it out for her. She turned around “WHACK” “ The man says “I cant believe you did that”, and continues walking.

A week later he sees his friend again and he has another black eye. He asks him what happened this time and his friend responds, “Well I was in church again...”

The man interrupts “CHURCH AGAIN? How do you keep getting hurt in church?!”

The friend explains, “Well, I was sitting behind Angelina again and...”

“Don’t tell me you did it again” “I did not, after all of the standing, sitting, and kneeling, I noticed the wegie again...”

“If you pulled it out again...”

“I did not pull it out. This time her husband was with her an he pulled it out for her.

Now, I know she doesn’t like that, so I pushed it back in.”

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Totally useless fact: Jason Schwartzman’s mom is Talia Shire.

you sooooo cheated

S

ER W S N A

CR OS SWORD

word searc h

JUN E

SNOWFLAKES

MAZE C RYPTO QUOTE

Even exchange

QUIP{

whereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s frank?

STAR MAP

GO FIGURE

FEAR KNOT

SUDOKU

Totally useless fact: The Q in Q-tips stands for quality. They were originally called Baby Gays.

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spotted!

TED 2

Spot The Differences

June 26, 2015

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, Liam Neeson, Mark Wahlberg Amanda Seyfried, Morgan Freeman, Seth MacFarlan

Totally useless fact: A sequel called Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian was written but never produced.

spotted!

CHECK

LIST

1) Picture frame missing from background, 2) Bottle-top missing from table. 3) Curtains closed on left, 4) Teds eyes are missing, 5) Mark is now wearing glasses, 6) Beer added to the table, 7) Tattoo added to Marks arm, 8) Ted has a gold chain, 9) Bottle missing from table in background

Every Day is Gameday

In Gainesville every day is Gameday, only the venues change! So whether you love going outdoors or simply going out to eat, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got just what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re looking for. Paddle the Santa Fe River, dine at one of our delicious local restaurants or search for treasures at local boutiques and vintage shops downtown. Gainesville, where nature and culture meet.

VisitGainesville.com

Totally useless fact: After an online vote in 2011, Toyota announced that the official plural of Prius was Prii.

352.374.5260

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CUT N’ PLAY!

CUT N’

PLAY!

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Paper airplanes are a thing of the past.

Besides, your professor has been trained to spot flying objects buzzing throughout his classroom. That’s why we’re upping the ante and bringing paper cars to the table.

Totally useless fact: When the computer mouse was invented, it was called the “X-Y Position Indicator for a Display System.”

CUT N’ PLAY!

Try to keep up us now, Professwith Douchenozzle or !

Totally useless fact: The giant inflatable rat that shows up at union protests has a name – Scabby.

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FLOOR PLANS FILLING UP FAST! RESERVE YOUR SPACE TODAY!

one liners!

p u k c Pi s e n i L

let me t ’ n o w u o If y rink, d a u o y y bu t me e l t s a e l t a top. p a l r u o y fix retty, p o s e ’r u Yo even I wouldn’t e an need to us I nstag ra m o ok filter i f I t o. you r phot

www.thepolosgainesville.com

facebook.com/ThePolos

You put the SPARC in my workstation.

Isn’t your e-mail add re beautifulg ss irl@ mydreams. com?

What’s a nice girl like you doing in a h c t i I’d sw cs chatroom a m like this? e o t

. u o y for

twitter.com@ThePolosGNV 60

campus talk

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june 2015

Totally useless fact: The Vatican Bank is the world’s only bank that allows ATM users to perform transactions in Latin.

...or you could just grab your copy of Gator Bucks!

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