College Rentals Tallahassee Spring 2014

COLLEGE RENTALS

www.collegerentals.com

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ALL STUD ES IN PROPERTI SEE TALLAHAS

@ FLORIDA STATE UNIVERSITY, FAMU, & TCC

Rentals

THE OFFICIAL APARTMENT GUIDE FOR STUDENTS IN TALLAHASSEE, FL SPRING/SUMMER 2014

LUXURY YOU CAN SEE!

s LEASING OFFICE LOCATED BEHIND TACO BELL FLOORPLANS, PICTURES, AMENITIES, SPECIALS, AND SO MUCH MORE AVAILABLE ON WWW.COLLEGERENTALS.COM

Sign a lease and be automatically entered in a raffle to

WIN FREE RENT FOR A YEAR! Refer a friend to sign a lease and you will get an extra entry in the drawing.

Live the Campus Park life!

600 Dixie Dr Tallahassee FL 32304 CampusParkTennStreet.com 850-574-7663

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NEW Clubhouse

Basketball/Volleyball Court 4ANNING s &2%% &OOD &RIDAYS s !ND -ORE

www.collegerentals.com

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BLOCKS FROM CAMPUS

s LEASING OFFICE LOCATED BEHIND TACO BELL

www.collegerentals.com

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brand new STUDENT LIVING walk to campus two level fitness center resort-style pool courtyard and bbq area reserved garage parking internet cafĂŠ study lounges

877 655 7230 4

CATALYSTFSU.COM www.collegerentals.com

We can help you find your way to your next apartment‌

WWW.COLLEGERENTALS.COM

www.collegerentals.com

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The best of both worlds in student housing.

All the size and freedom of your own house.

All the convenience and amenities of a luxury apartment complex.

• Walking Distance to Campus • • Stainless Steel Appliances • • Washers & Dryers • • Imported Granite Countertops • • Hardwood-Style Flooring • • Individually Locked, Private Bedrooms • • Private, On-Site Parking • • Spacious Living Rooms • • Ample Storage Space • • Private Bathrooms in Each Bedroom • • Ceiling Fans in Bedrooms & Living Area • • Soaring 9'+ Ceilings • • Linen Closets • • Rooftop Decks or Huge Balconies • • And More •

877-210-9448 WWW.SOUTHGATEDISTRICT.COM Leasing Office: 422 Lorene St

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Relax.Live.Enjoy 850-222-2864 631 East Call St. 110 Tallahassee, FL 32301 FranklinPointe.com

Studios, 1 and 2 bedrooms A V A I L A B L E

Barbecues and Picnic Tables t Secluded Park Setting 2 laundry centers t Ample parking t Pet Friendly Large Shade Trees Thoughout Community Spacious Floorplans t Beautiful, large pool Fare Free Bus Route

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850-580-8078 1000 High Road Tallahassee, FL 32304 www.poloclubtallahassee.com When Big City Glamour meets Southern Hospitality you know you're at Polo Club!

3 And 4 Bedroom Flats And Townhomes A V A

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Digital Cable With Hbo Included Free Hi-speed Internet | Pest Control Oversized Patios/Balconies Private Ensuite Bathrooms Beautiful Northern Brick Architecture Wood Floors | Luxurious Resort Style Pool Close To All Campuses | Direct Utility Billing Fully Equipped Kitchens | Beach Volleyball Court Modern Fitness Center Washer And Dryer Included www.collegerentals.com

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2 and 4 Bedrooms

A V A I L A B L E

ENJOY ALL THIS...

Cable with HBO High speed internet Direct bill utilities Pest control 24 hour fitness center 24 hour computer lab with free printing Tanning bed Movie theatre Billards table Individual leases Roommate matching AND MORE!

850-575-8187 2700 W Pensacola Street Tallahassee, FL 32304 www.villadellagoapts.com

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Walking distance to FSU's campus Clubhouse with game room Close to FAMU and TCC 24 hour fitness center 24 hour computer lab F LATS AND TOWNHOMES

bed bath

850-580-0060 235 S Ocala Road Tallahassee, FL 32304 www.venetianvillasapts.com www.collegerentals.com

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STAY IN...

9 foot Ceilings t Microwave, Disposal & Dishwasher Washer & Dryer t Refrigerator with Icemaker Tile Floors in the Entry & Kitchen Private Balcony or Terrace t High-Speed Internet Extended Cable including HBOt Two on-site Tanning Beds 24-Hour Computer Center with Free Internet, Printing & Scanning State-of-the-Art Fitness Center t Two Tanning Beds

make your home your favorite place to hang out

...OR GO OUT 1

bed bath

starting at $949

Resort-style Swimming Pool with Cabanas 8BUFS #BTLFUCBMM 7PMMFZCBMM t -BSHF -JHIUFE )PU 5VC 4BOE 7PMMFZCBMM 1JU t 3FMBYJOH )BNNPDLT Indoor Sport Court For Basketball & Volleyball Picnic Areas With Gas Grills 5BOOJOH %FDLT t 4BOE 7PMMFZCBMM $PVSU Private Balcony or Terrace

2

bed bath

starting at $599

3

bed bath

starting at $559

4

bed bath

starting at $519

850-574-5900 | 2614 West Tennessee Street www.west10apts.com 14

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1303 ocala (P34)

1-4

1303 Ocala Rd. (576-2183)

boardwalk at appleyard (P43) 2566 W. Tennessee St. (574-0003)

CAMPUS CIRCLE (P3)

800 Basin St. (877-820-4813) (P2)

600 Dixie Dr. (574-7663)

Campus Walk (p9)

810 Wadsworth Dr. (681-3809)

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District, the (p8)

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forum (P32)

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Franklin Pointe (p10)

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jackson properties (P19)

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Polo Club (p11)

3-4

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avail.

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Seminole FLATTS (P41)

1,2

2421 Jackson Bluff Rd. (877-6770)

1341 Jackson Bluff Rd. (894-7368)

1000 High Rd. (580-8078)

1817 W. Call St. (290-4603)

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631 East Call St. (222-2864)

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2525 W. Tennessee St. (765-1103)

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422 Lorene St. (877-210-9448)

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2210 mission rd. ext. (224-6275)

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Carolina Square (P7) 631 W. Madison St. (877-655-7230)

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700 W. Virginia St. (222-4879)

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Capital Properties (P42) 2711 Allen Road. (386-1212)

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www.collegerentals.com

college rentals is published twice a year by what’s Happening publications (866) 371-5881. copying or reproduction, in whole or in part, is strictly prohibited. neither the advertiser nor publisher may be held responsible for errors, misprints or any misinformation.

709 w. gaines St. (583-4445)

(p46)

StUdent HoUSing SolUtionS 2020 w. pensacola St. (580-0000)

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notIce: Rental rates, deposits, etc. are subject to change without notice. Some prices listed are special promotion prices, which change on a regular basis.

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Locator

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11a) heIghts at tallahassee 2915 SHaReR Rd. 850-298-4431 (d–5)

24a) sweet bay club 2309 old bainbRidge Rd 850383-7400 (e–4)

1a) 1303 ocala, P34 1303 ocala St. 850-576-2183 (h–6)

11b) herItage grove 1947 HeRitage gRoVe ciR. 850-645-3333 (g–3)

25) tImber rIdge 1417 pUllen Rd. 850-224-6275 (e–4)

1c) 601 coPeland 601 S. copeland 850-629-4055 (h5)

12) Jackson ProPertIes, P19 1341 JackSon blUff Rd. 850-894-7368 (h–4)

26) twIn oaks 2500 MeRcHantS Row blVd 850-386-4800 (J–9)

2)

13) legacy suItes 415 cHapel dR. 850-681-3700 (g–4)

27) unIversIty club 228 dixie dR. 850-309-0100 (g–3)

13a) osceola vIllage 500 cHapel dR. 850-222-5010 (g–4)

27a) unIversIty courtyard 3025 S. adaMS St. 850-878-0300 (J–6)

13a) Park at forest rIdge 2677 old bainbRidge Rd. 850-514-4000 (d–3)

27b) unIversIty gardens 400 pUtnaM dR. 850-402-3800 (I–6)

13c) Park at mIdtown 1600 old bainbRidge Rd. 850-222-3696 (f–5)

27c) unIv club woodward 700 n. woodwaRd aVe. (629.4055) (d-2)

14) Park ave vIllas 2102 e. paRk aVe 850-656-1156 (g–8)

28) unIversIty green 3250 w. tenneSSee St. 850-205-9017 (g–2)

14a) PoInte, the 3000 S. adaMS St. 850-298-4200 (J–6)

29) unIversIty lofts 680 w. ViRginia St. 850-222-5010 (g–5)

14b) Polo club, P11 1000 HigH Rd. 580-8078 15) Polos on Park 2626 e. paRk aVe. 850-309-7667 (g–9)

30) unIversIty vIllage 1825 w. call St. 850-425-3100 (g–4)

1)

1111 on hIgh, P24 1111 HigH Rd 850-224-0011 (f–4)

berkshIre manor 2060 continental aVe. 850-576-6925 (f–4) 2a) boardwalk at aPPleyard P43 2566 w. tenneSSee St. 850-574-0003 (g–3) 3)

camPus cIrcle, P3 800 baSin St 877-820-4813 (g–4)

3b) carolIna sQuare, P7 700 w. ViRginia St. 850-222-4879 (g–5) 3c) camPus walk, P9 810 wadSwoRtH dR. 850-681-3809 (g–4) 3d) camPus Park tenn st, P2 600 dixie dR. 850-574-7663 (g–3) 3e) catalyst 631 w. MadiSon St. (877-655-7230) (h-4) 4)

chateau, the 511 n. woodwaRd aVe. 850-294-9949 (g–5)

5)

college club 2833 S. adaMS St. 850-325-1700 (J–6)

5a) colony club/hIgh PoInt 446 conRadi St 850-224-7319 (g–4) 6)

commons, the 1325 w tHaRpe St. 850-523-1000 (f–4)

6a) cottages @ magnolIa 2218 e Magnolia ciR 850-580-7444 (I-6) 7)

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cottages of cumberland forest 1109-1148 gReentRee ct 850-566-1506 (f–4)

7a) cottages of glenda 1411-1419 glenda dR 850-566-1506 (h–4) 9)

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cove, the, P18 2210 MiSSion Rd extenSion 850-224-6275 (g–3)

9a) dIstrIct, the, P8 422 loRene St. (877-210-9448) (h-5) 9b) forum, P32 2525 w. tenneSSee St. (765-1103) (g-6) 10) franklIn PoInte, P10 631 e. call St. 850-222-2864 (g–7)

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16) PortofIno vIllas 770 appleyaRd dR. 850-574-3234 (g–2) 17) Players club 222 n. ocala Rd. 850-575-3615 (g–4) 17a) retreat, the 2636 MiSSion Rd. 850-597-9783 (g–6) 18) savannahs 720 w. caRolina St. 850-599-9200 (g–5) 18a) semInole flatts, P41 1817 w. call St. 290-4603 19) semInole grand, P12 1505 w. tHaRpe St. 850-383-7300 (f–4) 20) semInole rIdge 1375 pUllen Rd. 850-422-3424 (e–4) 21) southgate 675 w. JeffeRSon St. 850-425-4200 (h–5) 22) stadIum centre, P6 709 w. gaineS St. 850-583-4445 23) student housIng solutIons, P46 2020 w penSacola St 850-580-0000

10a) gateway @ semInole suItes, P48 2421 JackSon blUff Rd. 850-877-6770 (h–3)

23) suItes at osceola rIdge 1001 ocala Rd. 850-575-5001 (g–4)

11) governor’s sQuare 2959 apalacHee pkwy 850-878-4125 (I–9)

24) studIo green 700 n woodwaRd aV. 850-222-0674 (g–5)

31) venetIan vIllas, P13 235 ocala Road S. 850-580-0060 (h–4) 32) vIlla del lago, P13 2700 w. penSacola St. 850-575-8187 (g–3) 32a) vIlla dylano 400 Hayden Rd. 850-575-1600 (h–4) 33) vIlla crIstIna 2030 belleVUe way 850-575-2030 (h–4) 33a) vIlla corteZ 1824 JackSon blUff Rd 850-576-9949 (h–4) 34) vIlla lucIa 1845 belleVUe way 850-580-0030 (h–4) 35) vIllages of san carlo 205 wHite dR. 850-575-1773 (g–3) 36) vIlla reanna 1924 w. penSacola St. 850-580-4444 (h–4) 37) vIlla san marco 2400 w. tHaRpe St. 850-580-6000 (f–3) 38) vIlla san mIchele 1682 baldwin paRk dR. 850-580-0020 (f–3) 39) west 10, P14 2614 w. tenneSSee St. 850-574-5900 (g–2) 40) whIte drIve vIllas, P18 2348 HoRne aVe. 850-224-6275 (g–3)

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brand new STUDENT LIVING walk to campus two level fitness center resort-style pool courtyard and bbq area reserved garage parking internet cafĂŠ study lounges

877 655 7230 www.collegerentals.com

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Finding an Apartment BEFORE YOU SET OUT:

make a shoPPIng lIst. are you looking for hardwood floors, dishwasher, washer and dryer? do you have enough parking space for you and your roommates? does the whole apartment need to be painted in orange and blue? you may not find everything, but it doesn’t hurt to set priorities. cover the bases.

Many landlords will want to verify your references. phone ahead to alert possible references, including your former landlord, that they may receive a call.

DURING THE SEARCH:

try to see the unIts In the daytIme. you’ll want to know how much natural light an apartment gets. it’s helpful to see what shape the place is in and whether more work is needed to make it habitable. do a careful walkthrough of any unIt you’re serIous about. the best time to ask about repairs and improvements is before you commit. attach a list of any damages to the lease, and have it initialed by your landlord so you’re not held responsible later. this is especially important in a college town. who knows who may have lived in the apartment before you! take measurements. take measurements of your larger furnishings (and take along a tape measure) to see how your things will fit… or what things you’ll need to buy. be realistic about the move. if you have a king-size waterbed, maybe the fourth floor isn’t the best spot for you.

AFTER YOU’VE FOUND IT: read your lease thoroughly… and make sure you understand it. don’t be afraId to ask!

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for eXamPle; • what utilities are you responsible for?

• How is the television reception?

• will you need cable?

• is there reference to existing wear or damage or a penalty for breaking the lease?

• How does the management feel about subleases?

ask QuestIons. the college Rentals apartment tips & checklist provides a thorough list of questions to ask. meet the neIghbors! will you live above or below someone; do you share walls? knock on doors and introduce yourself. find out if neighbors are friendly, how they feel about noise, what they like about the neighborhood. this is a good person to ask about the safety of a neighborhood. landlords aren’t allowed to discuss such things, but your new neighbor will know if the place has bad lighting or a wild Rottweiler problem. vIsIt as many Places as you can… so you’ll have a good idea of what your money buys. Use our apartment checklist as a guide to inspecting and comparing choices. then be prepared to act qUickly when you find something you like! lots of complexes are on the internet. while you shouldn’t rely too heavily on the web, it is a good place to get started narrowing to a list of possibilities. check out www.collegerentals.com.

enJoy. no apartment is going to be perfect; how much you enjoy where you live is largely up to you. Meet the people at the complex, and you’ll enjoy your living experience much more than if you stay indoors, drinking alone.

Hang out at the pool. play some basketball. throw a party. no matter how you feel about the physical space you occupy, new friends can make you feel right at home.

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Tips & Checklist ITEM APARTMENT NAME} 1) Amount of Rent?

2) Amount of Security Deposit?

3) Amount of Late Payment Penalty?

4) Pet Fee? 5) Individual Leases?

6) Size of Apartment?

7) Penalty for Breaking Lease?

8) Furnished?

9) Private Bathrooms?

10) Utilities Included?

11) Cable Included?

12) High-Speed Internet/Ethernet?

13) Allowed to Paint Walls?

14) Ample Power Outlets/Phone Jacks?

15) Kitchen Appliances in Good Condition?

16) Vaulted Ceilings?

17) Ceiling Fans?

18) Curtains and Blinds?

19) Fitness Center? Office on site?

20) Tennis Courts/Basketball/Volleyball?

21) Overall Condition of Apartment?

22) Plenty of Closet and Storage Space?

23) Security/Alarms?

24) Washer/Dryers or Laundry Facilities?

25) Convenient to School?

26) Convenient to Bus Routes?

27) Convenient to Stores?

28) Quiet Community or Active Area?

29) Ample Parking?

30) Convenient Visitor Parking?

31) Porch/Patio?

32) Garbage Dumpster Proximity?

33) Maid Service?

34) Smoke Detectors/Carbon Monoxide Detector?

35) Gated Entry?

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whitEy tighty

Sorting Laundry Keeping Your Whites White

and Your Brights Bright Laundry knowledge is to college students as, well, general knowledge is to college students… nonexistent. One wrong move and your entire wardrobe

Defining Colors!

Define light: baby blue, sky blue, baby pink, light denim, yellow, sport grey, white and pear green.

Define bright: neon anything, orange, red, blue, green and teal.

Define dark: navy, maroon, black, brown, forest green, dark denim, brick red and dark grey.

What if I have a shirt that has black and white (for example) in it?

Err on the side of caution: if it’s the only thing in your load that hasn’t been washed before, wash it with the darks. If it bleeds, it won’t harm the darks, but it could discolor the lights.

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could turn into the PINK section at Victoria’s Secret. Here are some helpful hints on how to do your wash without ruining your favorite clothes.

Fabrics!

Cotton and linen fabrics, towels, rugs, flannel and chenille items generate lint; try not to wash these with fabrics that attract lint, such as synthetics, permanent press and corduroy.

Delicate and “loose” knits shouldn’t be washed with big, bulky or tough fabrics; delicates will usually have a tag that specifies that they are delicate.

Types!

Wash sheets, towels, and pants as their own loads (keeping in mind the color rule). These items tend to make a regular load really big; if you separate them into their own loads, your other loads are more manageable.

Bleach!

Whites are the only color that should get regular bleach – and only whites that have no other colors. Regular bleach will ruin any color. Too much bleach too many times will also turn your whites yellow.

Color-safe Bleach can be used on colored items.

Always read the bleach instructions and your clothing item’s care label.

Do bleach loads last!

You don’t want any chance of remaining bleach water messing with your later loads.

Totally useless fact: A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

SigN oN ThE DoTTED KEg!

CT’s CerTifieD

roommaTe ConTraCT

living with a complete stranger can be difficult.

Unfortunately, for all of you planning on bunking up with a buddy, living with friends can also be difficult. That’s why the first thing you’ll learn about this fabled “real world” is the utter importance of getting everything (and we mean everything) in writing. To help facilitate that, we’ve drawn up a can’t-fail, tried-and-true roomie contract to help settle all disputes before they ever happen. Think of it as a pre-nup, minus the romance and sex… or not.

CT’S ROOMMATE

CONTRACT This contract hereby states that and will cohabitate in a peaceful and respectful manner from the day they move in to the day they move out. After that, they can be jackasses to each other whenever they’d like.

Whereas said roommates agree not to steal each other’s significant others, one-night stands, possible hook-ups and/or prostitutes (if applicable).

And whereas said roommates agree not to fart in public while other cohabitants and/or their friends and family are present (unless said fart is part of a joke or prank, in which case it is permissible). Moreover, all cohabitants agree to abide by “whoever smelt it, dealt it.”

And whereas all cohabitants agree to abide by the “whoever killed it, fills it” rule pertaining to all alcoholic beverages, specifically kegs.

And whereas if one roommate buys a pizza, no other roommate may eat a slice unless given direct permission from said buyer.

And whereas said roommates agree never to wake up before 10 a.m., regardless of whether or not they have an 8:30 a.m. class (or exam, for that matter).

And whereas all roommates agree that if and when Anchorman is playing on TV, no cohabitant may change the channel or ask for the volume to be lowered. This also applies during weeks of midterm and final exams.

And whereas all cohabitants involved in serious relationships will not publicly display affection around any other cohabitants or guests unless said significant other is really, really, really hot.

All signing participants agree to uphold and abide by said rules and regulations.

If any individual roommate should fail to meet these requirements, they may be subjected to hours of TPing at the hands of their fellow cohabitants.

(SIGN AND DATE)

(SIGN AND DATE) THIS CONTRACT IS CERTIFIED BY CAMPUS TALK AND SHOULD BE NOTARIZED BY FRANK.

DROP OF BLOOD HERE!

Totally useless fact: Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

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Frequent Q&A My landlord refuses to make repairs, what can I do?

Hopefully you have kept a record of when you first reported the problem and asked that repairs be made.

Be sure to document in writing each and every report and complaint made to the landlord. Keep a notebook next to the phone for recording conversations with your landlord. For each conversation, write the date, time, name of the person with whom you spoke, and what was said by each party to the conversation.

If the landlord fails to make repairs within a reasonable time, you can report the problems to the city housing code office and ask for an inspection. If violations of the housing code are found, ask your landlord for a partial refund of the rent for the period of time that the violation existed.

You may be able to either withhold your rent or terminate your lease if the problem constitutes a material breach of the lease or the landlord’s statutory duty to provide and maintain a reasonably safe and habitable dwelling. You must follow the exact requirements of Florida Statute 83.56.

You must give the landlord a written notice demanding the repairs be made in seven days. The notice must indicate your intention to terminate the lease or withhold rent if the repairs are not made. The notice should be hand delivered or sent by certified mail. Be sure and keep a copy of the letter.

This is a complicated process and the legal consequences are very serious. You should consult Student Legal Services before attempting to terminate your lease or withhold rent.

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Can I deduct repair costs from my rent?

No. Florida Law does not authorize you to make repairs or to recover the cost of such repairs. In fact, most apartment leases prohibit repairs by tenants. Therefore, if you want to make repairs and deduct the cost from the rent, you must obtain prior consent from your landlord.

Can my landlord raise my rent during my lease term?

Not unless the lease contains a specific provision allowing for a rent increase. From the tenant’s perspective, one of the primary reasons for having a written lease is to lock in the rent for the rental period.

READ THE LEASE BEFORE YOU SIGN IT. Normally, you should not sign a lease providing for a rent increase.

Can I break my lease if I have good reason?

“I am graduating?” NO! “My roommate left?” NO! “I cannot afford the rent?” NO! “I need to work this summer?” NO! “The neighborhood is unsafe?” NO! You can only terminate the lease if the landlord is materially violating your lease or the Florida Residential Landlord and Tenant Act. You should obtain legal advice before attempting to terminate your lease. In many cases, the best thing you can do is find a replacement tenant.

How soon must I renew my lease?

There is no legally established time period. You should not sign a lease that provides for automatic renewals or requires you to give the landlord a notice of non-renewal. If you do sign such a lease, you must strictly comply with the notice requirements imposed by the lease.

If the lease does not specify otherwise, renewals are a matter of general contract law. The landlord cannot force you to renew prior to the end of your lease. However, if you do not renew by the landlord’s “deadline,” the landlord may rent your apartment to someone else.

What can happen if I don’t pay rent?

Failure to pay rent is the quickest way to be evicted. The landlord will serve a notice demanding payment of rent or possession of the apartment. If you fail to comply with the demand within three days, excluding weekends and holidays, eviction proceedings may be started.

Neither surrender of the apartment nor eviction ends your liability for rent. You should immediately contact Student Legal Services if you receive a three-day notice.

Can I be evicted if I pay “my” rent and my roommates don’t?

Usually. Most leases provide that the tenants are jointly and severally liable for the entire rent. That means that you are both responsible for each other’s share and jointly responsible for paying the full amount. Therefore, the landlord can evict you unless the full rent is paid. It is possible for you to sue your roommates in small claims court to collect their share of the rent and utilities. A written roommate agreement will be helpful in proving your case in court.

Given the difficulty of collecting money on a judgment quickly, the best thing you can do is obtain new roommates.

Note: This information does not apply to apartments offering individual leases.

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2

BLOCKS FROM CAMPUS

s LEASING OFFICE LOCATED BEHIND TACO BELL

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aSS-igNmENT!

hoW To WriTe a College paper 1) siT in a sTraighT, ComforTable Chair in a Clean, Well-liT plaCe in fronT of your CompuTer.

2) Log onto AIM and ICQ (be sure to go on away!).

Check Facebook.

5) Check Facebook.

6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go grab a coffee… just to get settled down and ready to work.

11) Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

3. Read over the assignment carefully to make certain you understand it.

4) WalK DoWn To The venDing maChines anD buy some ChoColaTe To help you ConCenTraTe.

7) When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lit place.

10) you KnoW, you haven’T WriTTen ThaT KiD you meT aT Camp sinCe The fourTh graDe. you’D beTTer WriTe ThaT leTTer noW anD geT iT ouT of The Way so you Can ConCenTraTe.

8) Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain 9) Check Facebook. you understand it.

13) Check Facebook. ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR YET?!

D ConTinue 38 on page

20) Check Facebook.

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14) AIM chat with one of your friends about the future (i.e.– summer plans).

12) grab some mp3s off of bit torrent.

19) While you’re getting the gum, you may as well buy a magazine and read it. Better get some Red Bull, too.

18) Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum.

You’ve probably run out.

15) Check Facebook.

16) Listen to your new mp3s and download some more.

17) phone your frienD on The oTher floor anD asK if she’s sTarTeD WriTing yeT. eXChange DerogaTory remarKs abouT your professor, The Course, The College anD The WorlD aT large.

Totally useless fact: There are six hoops on an Association croquet court.

aSS-igNmENT!

D ConTinue ge from pa 37

21) CheCK The Tv guiDe To maKe sure you aren’T missing someThing Truly WorThWhile on The Tube.

22) Play some solitaire (or Wii).

26) Look through your roommate’s photo album from back home. Ask who everyone is.

31) Read over the assignment one more time, just for the hell of it.

25) Call up some frienDs To see hoW muCh WorK They’ve Done (probably haven’T sTarTeD eiTher).

23) Check out www.bored.com.

24) Wash your hands.

27) Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

28) Check to see if www.bored.com has been updated yet.

30) you shoulD be rebooTing by noW, assuming ThaT WinDoWs is Crashing on sCheDule.

32) Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

39) go to class, hand in paper, leave right away so you can take a nap.

33) Lie face down on the floor and moan.

38) Complain To everyone ThaT you DiDn’T geT any sleep beCause you haD To WriTe ThaT sTupiD paper.

29) Check Facebook and listen to your new mp3s… again.

34. Punch the wall and break something.

37) 5 a.m. – start hacking out the paper without stopping. 6 a.m. – paper is finished.

35) Check Facebook.

36) Mumble obscenities.

40) Go to bar instead.

Totally useless fact: Until 1994, world maps and globes sold in Albania only had Albania on them.

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Totally useless fact: There are six hoops on an Association croquet court.

1) STRIPEY BLANKET IS REPLACED WITH CLUTTER. 2) PHONE IS MISSING BOTTOM LEFT. 3) LIGHT IN THE CORNER IS MISSING. 4) THE MIRROR HAS BEEN DUPLICATED OVER THE ONE NEXT TO IT. 5) THE VIDEOS ON THE TOP SHELF OF THE CASE HAVE BEEN DUPLICATED. 6) THE ORANGE PILLOW IS MISSING. 7) A PRINGLES TUB HAS BEEN ADDED ON THE RIGHT HAND SIDE. 8) A GREY BAG IS MISSING UNDER THE MIRRORS. 9) A SPRAY BOTTLE HAS BEEN ADDED BOTTOM LEFT. 10) A COKE CAN HAS BEEN ADDED IN THE MIDDLE HEAP OF CLUTTER. 11) THE FEDEX LOGO HAS BEEN DUPLICATED

DifferenCe

spoT The SPoTTED!

leave it at home!

Moving Into A

Student Apartment

What Not To Bring

The interesting thing about moving into a student apartment, whether it’s the first time or the third time, is that you never quite grasp the reality that there’s a grocery store, a hardware store and a corner store within immediate reach of wherever you’ll be living.

This leads to severe cases of over-packing and unnecessary spending – something that plagues 3 in 4 college coeds, oh my!

Food Unless you’re moving to some remote city in Russia where the nearest market is a four-day journey away, you can feel safe leaving the canned goods at home where they belong. Since your college diet will consist mainly of leftover pizza anyway, you won’t have much to worry about.

School supplies Remember, unless you have completely overbearing professors from hell, you won’t have to worry about school supplies until you go to buy your books. The university bookstore will sell most (or all) of the supplies listed in your curriculum, along with pens, pencils and – wait for it – paper and notebooks too!

Tons of furniture The cost of moving your bodacious boudoir and the living room furniture you got on clearance will not outweigh the benefits of purchasing your interior locally… especially when you can make couches from used pizza boxes for free!

Totally useless fact: A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

Cleaning supplies Believe it or not, cleaning supplies do exist in other cities and states. Yes, even the same ones you’re used to at home.

The entire medicine and toiletries cabinet While it’s important to bring along your prescription medications and some Tylenol or Ibuprofen, you don’t need to bring a full medicine cabinet with you.

You’ll have plenty of time to head to the local pharmacy or supermarket to purchase lotion, shampoo, band-aids, etc. For the trip, just bring along the travel size.

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CoNgRaTUlaTioNS!

CONGRATULATIONS AWARD 2014

WORST ROOMMATE

Y

ou’re not being honored because you’re totally freakin’ awesome at defecating in the closet or because you always throw up in the corner like a trained poodle. No, not at all! You’ve been worse! You’re being honored because you shave your back hair into the kitchen sink, eat cheerios with beer three times a day, wear your duct tape underwear and beer-box helmet when a “girlfriend” is over, wash your roommate’s dishes in the toilet and yodel your fight song at 2 a.m. That makes you, even though you don’t pay rent, the worst roommate ever! Take pride, few can achieve, fewer can be successful, but you are even worse!

PRESENTED BY

Totally useless fact: The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum.

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