M a g a z i n e
Trendcasting for Gainesville’s
Wedding
Say Hello to The End of Diets
Season
Marriage Myths Debunked
FLIP FOR mor e flourish
Turn Your
Tots Into Tourists North Florida MAY 2015 Volume 1 Issue 33 www.MYFLOURISHMAGAZINE.COM
It’s official – What’s Inside… wedding season is on! Relationships Editors note…
And we’ve got everything you need to enjoy the season right. With trendcasts from local wedding planner, tips for surviving life at the singles’ table and more, you’ll be ready for every event you attend. We’ve also included investing secrets from financial advisor Ken Weber, business advice from communication expert Hilary Barr, and a transformative look at dieting that you won’t want to miss. So enjoy the festivities and have a happy May!
Lauren Douglass
8JOOFS 2013
"XBSE PG &YDFMMFODF FROM THE
22 Survive Single Life During Gainesville’s Wedding Season 20 Marriage Myths That Need Debunking! 29 Helpful Tips from Leil Lowndes
Family
27 Turn Your Little Tots Into Tourists 28 Beans and Teens
Health & Happiness
40 The End of Diets 42 3 Ways to Know Just How Healthy You Really Are 45 Childish Habits to Pick Up Again 41 Grateful Never Felt So Good
Money & Business 07 Don’t Go For Broke 13 Climb that Ladder!
Home & Garden 8JOOFS 2013
"XBSE PG &YDFMMFODF 34 Gardening With Kids 36 Homegrown or Store-Bought? 38 Plant of the Month: Swiss Chard 39 Recipe: Heart Shaped Baked Oatmeal FROM THE
Fashion & Beauty
26 Beauty Products 32 Handmade Home Decorations 10 Insider Investing Secrets Everybody Needs to Know
Reviews
24 Dreams of My Mothers by Joel L.A. Peterson 30 Can’t-Miss Flicks
Ken Weber on his new book, Dear Investor, What The H*ll Are You Doing?
16 What’s in the Wedding Forecast? Trendcasting with Gainesville wedding planner Julie Herman
Features
14 The Gift of Feedback Tips from Insights’ Hillary Barr on how to give and receive effective feedback
4
Flourish Magazine | May/2015
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. Indira Gandhi
Crossword Puzzle PUBLISHERS Lauren Douglass Marc Douglass Managing Editor Elizabeth Putfark COPY EDITOR Daniel Sutphin Assistant EDITOR Mike Capshaw ART DIRECTOR Daniel Tidbury GRAPHIC DESIGN Mickey Cuthbertson Jane Dominguez Becky Snowden Daniel Tidbury PROMOTIONS Amanda Liles Karen Jones AnnMarie DeFeo Anita Knittel ACCOUNTING Lynsey Parrish CIRCULATION Adam Simmons SPECIAL PROJECTS Lauren Kolansky Daniel Sutphin ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Shane Howell (shane@whpinc.com)
Flip to see answers in contents page on other side
ADVERTISING & SALES Shane Howell Mike Capshaw Susan Noddle WRITERS Mike Capshaw Isabelle Crane Joe Graedan, MS Teresa Graedon, PhD Ginger Henderson Susan Meeker Syliana Resvanis Amy Smith Susan T. Spencer Kelly Stamps Kristi Story Debbie Travis Vivienne Van Eijkelenborg
Sudoku Puzzle
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5
“God could not be everywhere, therefore he made mothers.”
Rudyard Kipling
“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.” - Oscar Wilde
“The phrase ‘working mother’ is redundant” - J ane Sellman
“All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angle mother”
Abraham Lincoln
Celebrate Mother’s Day May 10, 2015
Don’t Broke By Elizabeth Putfark
Go For
Cost-cutting tips for planning your wedding (and why you should use them!)
How much do you think the average American wedding costs? Five thousand dollars? Ten thousand? Try $30,000, according to TheKnot.com. And for all that, studies now confirm that a big wedding bill could be a precursor to divorce. Researchers at Emory University found that couples who spent upwards of $20,000 on their wedding were 3.5 times more likely to divorce than those who keep their budget low. So how do you keep spending in check? They key is to pinpoint the two or three features that matter most to you about your event, and then find ways to scale back on the rest. Each of the following big-ticket items can be revamped into a unique, personalized form that won’t break the bank.
Flowers. If floral arrangements aren’t your focus, consider buying common buds in bulk and having the bridal party make their own arrangements. Bridesmaids will have a blast crafting their escorts’ boutonnieres, and the bride’s bouquet is even more special when it’s arranged by her closest friends. (Hint: Keep an eye out for roadside wildflowers in the days before the event – you might find a pop of last-minute color on the cheap!)
Music. Not every couple needs an on-stage presence to get in the groove. If you can live without a live-band, find a friend that you trust to play DJ for the night and let that be their wedding gift to you. Make sure to approve a general playlist before the big day, and look into borrow options for sound equipment from your church or local event center.
Reception Hall. The options for reception halls are endless: from a grand banquet room to your own backyard. If you’re looking for a low-cost post-game celebration, consider outdoor venues in milder weather months. Look into renting the outdoor portion of a large restaurant, a private community pool, or even a portion of a friend’s estate, field or farm. Natural elements bring added charm to any occasion (and eliminate the need for costly decorations!).
make your wedding a sunrise affair and serve your guests a catered brunch! Breakfast foods are just as delicious as many dinner options, but at half the cost.)
Cake. You know that local home baker who always brings the best dessert to the party – why not enlist their help? Even if you cover all ingredients and include a healthy tip, you’ll come in well under commercial cake costs. (Hint: make taste your priority and stay within the cook’s comfort zone – whether that means layers, sheet pans or cupcakes.)
Drinks.
Food.
Depending on your circle of family and friends, you may be able to scale back on expensive adult beverages. Let liqueur be a flask affair, and limit the varieties of wine and beer to cut costs. You can also enlist the help of cousins or family friends to take shifts as bartender throughout the night – what better way to get folks mingling!
Nothing’s worse than a bad wedding food, but good doesn’t always cost more. Think about low-budget family foods instead of fancy fare. Barbecue is a common Southern favorite, though you might also consider local deli sandwiches, soups and salads, or even an elaborate pasta bar. (Hint: to save even more,
Remember that no matter what, personal touches beat expensive extravagance, especially at an event as intimate as your wedding. The more you involve your friends and family in the details of the big day, the more special it will feel as it whizzes by!
My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne. Tina Fey
Flourish Magazine | May/2015
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Investing Insider
Secrets Everybody Needs to Know Investment expert Ken Weber on his new book, Dear Investor, What the H*ll Are You Doing? Interview by Lauren Douglass
After three decades in the investment industry, mutual-fund expert Ken Weber has seen his fair share of missteps – even made a few of his own. His takeaway after years of salvaging poor investment portfolios has been that no matter how smart, wealthy, young or old you are, you’re probably falling victim to a few avoidable errors that can lead your financial strategy astray. 10 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
There’s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. Flannery O’Connor
“I realized that people are just making lots of mistakes and it has nothing to do with how smart or educated you are…”
Tell me a little about how you got started writing this book. I’m a registered investment advisor – an RIA – and my job entails talking to lots of people. After having spoken to literally thousands of investors over the past 30 years from across the country, I realized that people are just making lots of mistakes and it has nothing to do with how smart or educated you are. So I said, I’ve got to help these people stop making the same mistakes over and over! So who is the target audience? The audience is anyone who is an investor, whether you’re 25 or 85. Any extra money you have in your life should be put to good use. So it’s really a broad range of public that should be reading a book like this. What are some of the most common mistakes you see for first time investors? They’re so many mistakes that everybody makes, but speaking to
Now the principal of New York-based Weber Asset Management, Weber has co-authored a new book called Dear Investor, What the H*ll Are You Doing? in which he tackles many of the common mistakes made my every caliber of investor. Here, he shares some of those common errors with us and offers clear, practical solutions for growing an investment portfolio that’s smart, profitable and well-managed, even if you’re the most novice investor.
first time investors, I would say they get swayed by advertising too easily. They get something in the mail or by email and they jump in without fully understanding what they’re getting into. Another mistake of early investors is they are either way too aggressive or way too conservative. First, they need to have a sense of where they are in life and where their future will be. And that’s all in the book: how to figure out where you are and where you need to be before you decide how to get there. I try to keep it very jargon-free!
Does that help with deciding which areas of investment are right for you? Yes. Basically, I’m a big supporter of no-load mutual funds, which are essentially non-commissioned mutual funds. They tend to be much lower cost and you buy them directly through a mutual fund family as opposed to through a broker. I also want you to be broadly diversified. The best vehicle for almost everybody is a portfolio of various types of no-load mutual funds. So if you’re receiving financial advice, how do you know you can trust it?
Obviously if you can get some recommendations from people you trust about people they trust, that’s always a good start. Secondly, one of the most important things and one that I stress in the book is you want to understand how that advisor gets paid. I’m not a fan of the old commission rule – that is, if I am a broker and I get money every time you buy or sell something. That’s not a good thing for investors because there’s a built-in conflict of interest. When you as a professional make money every time your client buys or sells, the client never knows if the motivation is on their behalf, or if it’s that the advisor has a kid in college and the bills are due. As registered investment advisors, we have a fiduciary responsibility to our clients, and what that means is we have to put our client’s interests first. This is opposed to say a stock broker, whose only goal is to give you “suitable” investments, and “suitable” might mean something that pays them a high fee, but is still within the range of reasonable investments. So you want to ask your advisor, do you hold to the fiduciary standard? And they have to be able to say in black and white, yes I do, or no, I don’t.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. Robin Williams
Flourish Magazine | May/2015 11
What would you say is your style of investing? My style is moderate – middle of the road. But of course that’s my personal style. There’s also the style that we have in the book, then there’s the style that we have as registered financial investors. They’re all slightly different because they’re all for different people. What are some of the mistakes you have made throughout your career that you have used as learning lessons? Well, I started out buying individual stocks myself. I watched them go up and I watched them go down, and when they would go down I would sell. I did it with Apple for instance. I held onto them for two years then sold my shares three months before the first I-Pod came out. I’d be a much richer man if I’d held onto it! I realized that the people who run the mutual funds are watching these investments 24 hours a day and they do a better job than I could hope to do as far as following individual stocks. Another mistake that many people make happens because nobody is called a stock broker anymore. Everyone is called something different, like a Vice President of Investments. But if they work for one of the major firms, the ones that advertise on television a lot, they are brokers
12 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
As far as diversification, can you in one way or another and they are not held to that fiduciary standard that talk about venturing into real estate? What have you seen we spoke about earlier. So do you recommend mutual funds then over investing on your own? Yes. That’s very clear. I do have a page or two about when individual stocks might be appropriate, but it’s only after you have a core foundation of good, no-load mutual funds. For a family that’s just starting out, maybe just purchased a house and has a little bit extra to invest, do you think that investing in the stock market is the best way to go? What most RIA’s will say is that you want to keep three to six months’ worth of income in a rainy day fund such that you have that money in a bank account where it’s absolutely rock solid. You’re not going to make any money, but you’re not going to lose it either; it’s going to hold steady. Once you have that cushion, then you can start slowly investing in a broadly diversified stock mutual fund. And you want to probably start with an Index fund. Those are easy ways to start easing into the market. Some of them have minimum investments like $250 or $500. But if you’re working and you have some extra money, you want to start planning early for your retirement. You’ll be amazed how fast those years go!
from that market? Real estate can be a part of a diversified portfolio. A lot of people put too much money into real estate and as we’ve seen in 2008 and 2009, that can lead to massive problems. The number one problem with actual real estate is liquidity. So if the real estate market crashes and prices are down 30, 40 or 50 percent and your properties are underwater (meaning you owe more than the property is now worth), you’ve got a real problem and you can’t get out. That’s opposed to the stock market, where you can always get out. And the stock market tends to bounce back faster than real estate. What are some other ways to diversify? You want to have some bond funds. Again, there are hundreds of different types of bond funds. From municipal bonds, short term bonds, long term bonds funds, low risk – there’s just all kinds. Essentially you want a bond fund or a couple bond funds to help stabilize your overall portfolio. I’m giving you the quick version here – it’s all spelled out in the book based on where you want to be!
Dear Investor, What the H*ll Are You Doing? is now available on Amazon.com and WeberAsset.com. To connect with Ken Weber, visit WeberAsset.com
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate. Unibomber Theodore Kaczynski
Ladder
Climb
By Isabelle Crane
that
Always reaching after the next rung on the company ladder gets old, and it sometimes seems easier to settle for the status quo. After all, who needs the stress of being the boss?
Don’t give up your ambition just yet. Even though that management position will take some time and work to get, studies show it will be worth it in the end.
Promote happiness A recent poll by the Pew Research Center revealed that regular-level workers experience significantly lower satisfaction levels than their managers. The average boss experienced 21 percent greater happiness on the job, and 12
percent more comfort with their personal finances. They also claimed more fulfilling home and family lives.
Although these numbers are not entirely surprising, they do conflict with the general perception that the pressures of leadership make you more tightly wound and removed from your family. Instead, it seems that greater status at work leads to greater satisfaction in life.
Enough is enough While status is great, it’s easy to get carried away. Studies suggest that the benefits of promotion cap out when you earn $75,000 a year. According to researchers at
Princeton University’s Woodrow Wilson School, $75,000 is the magic tipping point below which anxiety increases, but above which not much changes.
So before you commit to chasing that dollar, keep your expectations in check. Princeton’s study also showed that even people committed to avoiding upper management are still likely to encounter more daily pleasures than most people on earth. Despite differences due to position and income, Americans overall are in the top 10 list of happy citizenries in the world. Eight-five percent of Americans, regardless of annual income, experience joy every day.
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For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. Henry Louis Mencken
Flourish Magazine | May/2015 13
The Gift of
By Elizabeth Putfark
Feedback
Tips from Insights’ Hillary Barr on how to give and receive effective feedback with aplomb How often do you offer feedback to the people you work with? If you’re in management, it might feel like you do it all the time. However for many of us, feedback is one of those things that often doesn’t feel worth the hassle – after all how much could it really change?
According to industry experts, a lot. Providing effective feedback is a crucial aspect of maintaining a productive and positive workplace. For that reason and many more, Hillary Barr, senior director at Insights personal development company, describes feedback as “a gift.” “We call it the gift of feedback because it’s truly that,” she explains. “If you aren’t hearing from others where things could improve, then you’re not improving.”
14 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
Feedback can offer motivation, correction, encouragement and collaboration, but only if it’s welltimed and voiced appropriately. So how do you navigate that minefield?
Be perceptive Before you voice your critique, take stock of the entire situation. What other viewpoints are involved? “Perception is probably the most important thing in communication,” Barr claims. “We can have a perception of ourselves and a perception of others, and they can have a perception of themselves and of us, and all those things can be on separate planes.
Build a foundation Another important step before lodging a list of complaints is to consider the atmosphere surrounding you in your workplace. Do you regularly offer feedback on tasks? Does anyone else? If feedback is not already commonplace, focus first on establishing a foundation of communication that’s conducive to both positive and negative feedback. “The gift of feedback is not always criticism,” says Barr. “Sometimes we forget to tell people when they did something great or when we recognized that they shined as a leader. That kind of feedback is beneficial, too, and gives you a lot of credibility for offering feedback in the future.” As you look around your office, pay attention to the positives as well as the negatives and make a point of calling them out. Not only will you establish a rapport with your coworkers that includes performance review, but you’ll also take the edge off of critical conversations in the future.
Pay attention to preference According to Barr, one of the hardest things about giving and receiving feedback is looking beyond our own personal preferences. “A big mistake people make in communicating is to only utilize their own preferences “Understanding that people’s and expect everyone else to have the perceptions are in play at all times can same,” she explains. “If I come to help with so many things – from someone and communicate in my boardroom discussions to one-onown direct way and that’s not their one feedback opportunities.” preference, then we’re not going to connect and they’re not going to hear Taking into account someone else’s me the way I need them to. perception means looking at a situation through their eyes with a “You need to tailor what you’re saying sympathetic rather than antagonistic so it lands on the person the right lens. Considering the perspective of way and so that they hear it with the the person you’re addressing – either best interpretation.” as a giver or receiver of feedback – can make you much more likely to That means paying attention to body communicate with them in a way language and communication before, they appreciate and understand. after and during difficult chats. Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies. Voltaire
Choose your moment Sometimes the easiest way to unload feedback seems to be dropping it on someone’s lap and then walking away – you’re busy, after all, and who wants the discomfort of sticking around? Yet ill-timed or ill-placed feedback can leave a negative taste in everyone’s mouth. Barr suggests three rules for offering feedback that will help it hit the mark without sacrificing your personal comfort.
most respectful interpretation” she explains. “For instance, I might think this is what’s happening, but there’s probably a more respectful interpretation out First, create the right space. “It’s not there that puts me in a more open the best approach to do the drivethrough delivery of feedback. Sit down space to accept feedback or have a different perspective on what really somewhere private and give the might be happening.” person the opportunity to make it a true conversation where they can ask By taking the most respectful questions, as opposed to just saying interpretation of a conversation or ‘I noticed in the meeting yesterday…’ encounter, you better your own and that’s it.” reactions and as a result leave a more Next, keep things timely. “If you go to positive impression on the other person. Resist the urge to demonize or someone and say ‘three months ago we were having a conversation and…’ make excuses and instead take offered advice in its best potential version. it’s not going to come across well. Feedback needs to be much timelier than that.” Be willing to change While getting everyone in your office Finally, leave space for the other communicating sounds great, it’s easy person to respond and offer feedback to imagine how things could turn out. as well. “I think it’s great to ask for As Barr describes, “I saw this caricature feedback and be open to hearing it,” the other day of a speaker that asked a says Barr, “especially if it’s different group of people ‘Who thinks we need from what you’re expecting. There to change?’ Everyone raised their are so many people it helps to get hands. Then they asked, ‘Who’s willing feedback from – whether it’s a boss, to do the work to change?’ and no one mentor or just a coworker somewhere raised their hand.” along the same career path.” But that doesn’t make feedback any Interpret respectfully less valuable. “I think the first step is to Of course, seeing someone’s response receive the feedback and be willing to to feedback or even experiencing our give it, but the second step is being own can sometimes go differently from willing to apply it. If you’re not willing how we’d like. To combat our natural to do anything about it, people aren’t defensiveness, Barr suggests turning to going to be willing to give it to alternative interpretations immediately you anymore.” upon facing a difficult encounter. Most importantly, as you strive for a “We like to start with what we call the more open workplace that dialogues He would make a lovely corpse. Charles Dickens
about shortcomings rather than gossiping about them, keep in mind Barr’s central claim: that feedback itself is a gift. “We call it the ‘gift of feedback’ because even if it may feel like criticism in the moment, the fact that you’re willing to give someone difficult feedback means you care enough about their development to talk to them. To give them that gift.” “What you do with those gifts brings about even more gifts.”
Hillary Barr, senior director, enterprise solutions has over 20 years of experience in the human resources and organizational development arena. She has been with Insights for nearly four years designing and implementing learning and development solutions for U.S. organizations based in the southeast. To learn more about personal development and professional strategies, visit www.Insights.com. Flourish Magazine | May/2015 15
What’s in the
Wedding Forecast?
Trendcasting with Gainesville Wedding Planner Julie Herman
By Elizabeth Putfark
Whether you love it or hate it, wedding season is changing. From trends in style and theme to personal touches from the bride and groom, modern day ceremonies are stepping out and away from tradition with their unique, individualized flair. For help forecasting some of today’s biggest trends, we talked with Gainesville native Julie Herman of Julie Herman Events. With her expertise a little poking around, we’ve compiled your wedding guide to 2015 so you know what to expect in the season ahead!
Style If you’ve been on Pinterest in the past three years you know that vintage, country themes still abound in the wedding world, and thanks to the Do-it-Yourself revolution they’re likely to stick around.
decorating” explains Herman. “I see a lot of signage, a lot of little drink stations and other special touches,” Herman adds, explaining just a few of the ways couples bringing heartfelt, sometimes rustic charm to their distinctly personal events.
Top 10 Wedding Dress Trends from TheKnot.com 10) Sheer Sleeves with hints of lace 9) “Something Blue” Details 8) Party Fringe 7) Cozy White Sweaters 6) Waltz-Length Dresses 5) Draped Shoulder Beading 4) Two-for-One Dresses 3) Unique Fabrics 2) Shoulder Streamers 1) Cool Separates
back with their tone and décor – a trend Herman sees as rooted in pop culture. “A lot has to do with Princess Kate and the Downton Abbey series – people like that classy look,” she explains.
So be prepared for homemade details “I see a lot of DIY brides who want to and shabby-chic design, but keep a be involved hands-on with a lot of the Yet some brides are bringing formality look out for a return to formality. 16 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial. Irvin S. Cobb
Venue “It’s been a long time since I’ve had a bride want to use a hotel ballroom,” admits Herman. Instead, couples are looking to the great outdoors for natural backdrops. From rural fields and barns to gardens and beaches, options abound in central Florida for couples to take their vows in open air. “There are several established places, like the Sante Fey River Ranch, where I’ve heard they’re booked through the end of the year,” says Herman, who plans most of her events in the Alachua area. “There’re also some new farms around Green Cove Springs and Micanopy.” The trend towards outdoor nuptials is so marked that these “rustic” facilities are now being updated to offer climate control. “The newest popular venue is Remberndt Farms in Alachua,” Herman explains. They remodeled their property and barn to include air and heat, offering guests and bridal parties country-style comfort even in the hottest months of the year.
Planning Planning timelines haven’t changed much, but what has is the level of groom involvement. Gone are the days of a bride and her mother sitting down with an event coordinator and ironing out the details and the husband-to-be just having to “show up.” “I see more groom involvement than I did even 10 years ago,” Herman admits. “Almost every initial consultation involves the couple, not just the bride and bride’s mother. The grooms offer input, and I try to encourage them. After all, it’s their wedding, too!” I worship the quicksand he walks in. Art Buchwald
Flourish Magazine | May/2015 17
thick layers of Julie Herman is an Alachua seamless fondant county native who got her may be gone for start in wedding planning as good. “Because of a single mom raising three taste, most couples daughters. Looking for a are choosing way to fund her daughters’ buttercream now,” extracurriculars, she started explains Herman, baking wedding cakes out of her own kitchen. As she who got her start met with brides through the years, she became more as an event planner and more involved and well versed in the planning baking wedding process, often contributing her crafting skills to cakes. “As far as other other aspects of the ceremony as well. Now a trends, I see a lot of certified planner, Herman serves Gainesville area naked cakes on the brides with experience, skill and native knowinternet, but I’ve never had a how that have earned her a five-star rating bride interested in that. They on weddingwire.com. Find out more want the icing on the cake!” she at www.juliehermanevents.com. laughs. “And I don’t blame them!”
Of course, once things get down to the nitty-gritty details, most grooms are still happy to step to the side. “I see they’re interested in the initial part – probably more out of curioustiy than anything else – but as we go along, they slowly back out. Not because they don’t care, but because we’re talking about things they don’t feel particularly interest them – like centerpieces and bridesmaids.” The other change in planning comes from the rise of a new season to rival spring: Fall. Herman finds that brides set autumn dates just as often as spring dates, particularly because of the trend towards outdoor ceremonies. “In this area especially, everyone is looking to beat the heat!”
Food Dining trends mirror the move towards individualized ceremonies, featuring food stations and buffets more often than formal plated dinners. “We see a lot of barbeque around here,” Herman adds. When it comes to cake, the days of 18 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
Of course, there are more ways to cut a budget even if thrifting isn’t your thing. “I try to encourage everyone to focus on the things that really matter to them and to cut those things that aren’t going to make a difference at the end of the day,” Herman explains. “Things like invitations. After it goes in the garbage, is it really going to be remembered? And gift favors. You’re already treating guests to a ceremony, drinks and a meal. Most of the time those favors stay on the table or go in the trash. “Cutting some of those little things can make a big difference.”
Budgets We’ve all heard that wedding spending has been on the rise in years, but with a tough economy, you might think wedding budgets would decline. Not so. “I don’t see people spending less money on weddings, even during hard times,” says Herman, who worked in weddings through much of the last recession. Although costs have remained stable, the upscale in wedding production has led to more couples seeking out budgetslashing solutions by getting thrifty with their details. “I’ve gone with brides and mothers to the Salvation Army and to thrift stores, looking for furniture to incorporate into their events instead of buying things new. It’s a search, and you have to work for it, but it saves in the end.” Some people have lives; some people have music. John Green
Marriage By Kirsten Nielsen
Myths That Need
Debunking! From Disney movies to pop culture, myths about marriage abound. Whether it's about divorce rates or wedded bliss, it's hard to know the truth from the old wives’ tales that just won't quit. While some myths are entertaining or silly, many can significantly hinder your relationships if you believe they are true.
Married couples don't have sex We've all heard the jokes about sex stopping as soon as the wedding happens. While some household do suffer from lack of intimacy, this is often the result of uneven sexual drives and can just as easily happen with unmarried couples. A University of Chicago study showed that married couples have more sex than their single counterparts and often report greater sexual satisfaction. As couples become more comfortable and confident with their partners, they often lose previous inhibitions that detracted from their satisfaction in bed.
stable partnership. Couples whose relationships were like a fairytale at the beginning often split as soon as the romance and affection drops. The most stable marriages are ones that grow slowly but surely, and partners in these marriages often report greater feelings of love over time.
Half of all marriages end in divorce The big one: this stat is quoted everywhere, and many people use it as an excuse for why they’ll never get married. Choosing to stay single is perfectly fine, but be aware that this stat is unequivocally false. That 50 percent divorce rate is a relic from the 1970’s, when courts first legalized no-fault divorce and a flood of people took advantage. About 70 percent of marriages that began in the 1990s have reached their 15th anniversary and couples who wed in the 2000s are divorcing at an even lower rate.
Marriage means you will never be lonely No matter how perfect your relationship is, you will always Your partner should be experience some rough patches from your best friend time to time. Even if you are madly in While romantic, no one person can love, your partner will sometimes complete another. Expecting your make you feel hurt, angry, lonely and partner to fulfill all of your needs is disappointed; this is unavoidable setting you both up for disaster, as it is when dealing with two independent impossible to have every aspect of people. Marriage takes constant your life taken care of by a single nurturing, communication, person. Your spouse should be the commitment and work, but can be number one person in your life, but it incredibly rewarding if you put in the is important to also have other effort. The bright side of these rough meaningful relationships to lean on. patches? Eventually you will come out Friends can connect with you in ways the other side, and fully appreciate that a spouse can't, and having a life how lucky you are. of your own will keep your marriage exciting!
Love and happiness fades over time There's a common thought that couples who are deliriously in love at their wedding have the best chance to stay together long-term. Multiple studies have shown that this is simply not true: those passionate, romantic, whirlwind romances are actually the ones that often end in divorce. All relationships experience a decrease in romance over time, as the marriage shifts from the honeymoon stage to a more 20 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run. Rudyard Kipling
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Flourish Magazine | May/2015 21
Survive
By Katie Moss
Single Life During Gainesville’s Wedding Season
It’s tempting to feel a little “down” during wedding season when you’re single, but there’s no reason to be anything less than joyful. Even if you’ve yet to find the partner of your dreams, and even if you’re a little jealous of your friends who are heading down the aisle, there are plenty of ways to feel happy and satisfied in your own skin. Wedding season is a great time to pamper yourself. Purchase that amazing dress you’ve been eyeing or treat yourself to a pedicure. If you want to go the extra mile, make a list of why you love being single and carry it around as a reminder. (No petty fights, no in-laws, etc.). There are plenty of reasons to adore your single self. Show it!
Unlike many other parts of the U.S., which have their main wedding seasons during the summer months, prime Florida wedding season is a bit earlier in the year. If you’ve planned a wedding recently, you’ve probably been bombarded with advice, read expert columns and learned the ins and outs of picking the month, the invitations, the dress … but If you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed by the what if you’re single? wedding season, realize that you don’t have to say
“yes” to every invitation. If you’re strapped for time, keep your calendar open for invitations from special friends only. You should also remember that gift-giving doesn’t have to break your wallet. If several of your friends are attending the same wedding, why not split a larger present? Also, there’s no reason you can’t wear the same dress to different weddings. If you’d like some companionship during the season, but you don’t want to deal with the drama that can come along with finding a traditional “date,” why not seek out a wedding buddy? Pick a fun friend who will build your self-esteem and recruit them to join you. Come up with a game plan together for handling uncomfortable “relationship” questions from nosy friends. If you don’t know someone of the sort, try to link up with a friendly single lady at the actual event. There are usually at least a few people trying to do the same! No matter how confident you are that you’ll find the perfect person when the time is right, being single at a wedding can raise doubts that will affect your belief in yourself. If this is the case, it’s time for a little post-wedding pre-planning. After the wedding, why not make plans to celebrate your freedom by setting up a brunch with your girlfriends or taking a long hike? There’s nothing like getting out to refresh your spirits. If you are searching for a relationship, weddings aren’t the worst place to look. In a recent study by Cupid.com, almost threequarters of men say they’re on “high alert” looking for other singles whenever they arrive at a wedding. In the same survey, 28 percent of those surveyed said weddings are the best place to meet a potential partner. However, you should be careful about guys you meet, as the Daily Mail reports men are more likely to cheat at weddings than any other social event. Most importantly, remember to have fun! If your favorite song’s on, go dance! If you meet a fun stranger, don’t hesitate to make a new friend! Your friend, family member or co-worker has invited you to their big day so you can share their joy, and you should make the most of it.
22 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? Seymour Cray
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In the information age, it’s easy to find an answer to just about every question. Yet as anyone with a child of any age knows, there’s one question no amount of blogs or how-to guides can answer – how can I be the perfect mom? In his new release, Dreams of My Mothers, Joel L. A. Peterson turns that question on its head with the story of his own youth and, more importantly, the women who shaped it. Through the unusually green eyes of KoreanAmerican narrator Noah Lee Peter Lindquist, based on Peterson’s younger self, readers come to see hardship, motherhood and adoption in a new light – one that’s perhaps more forgiving and more humane than they’ve ever glimpsed before. The novel quickly reveals that Noah’s childhood troubles are neither simple nor entirely case specific. He was born out of wedlock and into poverty during the 1960’s, when many half-Korean, half-American children like him were being born to Korean women following the departure of American soldiers after the Korean Civil War. As a result, women like his biological mother stood little chance of remarriage, what with the proof of what was then considered shame still hanging about at their hips. And with limited job prospects for a single, culturally shamed mother, it’s easy to see how the family of two could quickly become destitute.
Dreams of My Mothers
An Author’s Love Song to His Adoptive and Biological Mothers By Elizabeth Putfark
Yet theirs is not the only struggle. While Noah’s biological mother searches for ways to keep her dignity and hope in spite of her culture’s reaction to her son, across the ocean another mother is suffering a crisis of faith for the opposite reason – the loss of her child. That loss, although devastating, sets her on a path to intervene at just the right moment in Noah’s life, adopting him as her own son and bringing him to the United States. As Noah’s narrative jumps over waters and across time, the reader feels as though they’re moving through someone else’s memories with emotional leaps of consciousness that build suspense in every chapter. Like all true memories, each moment and exchange refuses readers the comfort of passing moral judgement on the actions of characters, or retreating to comfortable musings about what they should have done. Instead, we are forced to recognize the ways in which fate and love somehow combine to push the passive narrator from of the persecuted arms of his biological mother and into the scarred ones reaching out from his new adoptive home.
24 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends. Ethel Mumford
To explain more about the process of writing this homage to his two mothers’ dreams and perseverance, we asked Joel Peterson to share a little about his experience constructing the book, and why he felt like his story, and the story of other adopted children like him, needed to be told. Tell me about your decision to begin writing such an intensely personal book. It was mostly at the urging of my childhood minister that I started the book. He pointed out that most people who had traumatic experiences from before being adopted were too young to remember them, but I was old enough to understand what was happening. So he thought that would be an interesting background from which to address the topic [of adoption]. What was the writing process like once you took up the project? The writing part was less emotional than what people might think. It did bring up emotions, but you have to do that if you’re going to capture them on page – the words are going to affect you, and hopefully the reader as well. The process went pretty quickly once I got started. You really play with time and circular narration as opposed to linear narration in the novel. Why is that? Most lives don’t happen in a growingly suspenseful kind of way. Also, I really wanted the story to be less about the main protagonist, who is based on me. With adoption, the child is the passive object in the story: things are happening to them. For me, the parts of any story that are most compelling are the characters whose choices define who they are. The people who make those choices in this kind of story are the women that are involved – the two mothers. You describe your success as the product of “A whole lot of luck…a bit of hard work – and the hand of God.” Not exactly the traditional American dream. Talk to me about how luck, hard work and the hand of God combine in your narrator’s evolution. We tend to want to give ourselves the credit for all the success any one of us has. But in reality, even with hard work and determination, we can be born with a set of talents. I can’t take credit for the intellectual capacity I might have, or for a genetic predisposition, or for not having chronic illnesses. I do believe that there’s a lot of random elements, but I also believe that the hand of God is demonstrated and is actively a force in our lives through the actions and lives of the people around us. Certainly I
“When people step into a love commitment without any expectation of reward for themselves – that to me is love transcendent.” — Joel L. A. Peterson
benefitted from the open hearts of people who went out on a limb and gave me opportunities along the way. Why did you choose the subtitle, “A Story of Love Transcendent”? I like to think that it’s a love story – not the Romeo and Juliet kind, but the kind of love where people think and care about something beyond them, something they don’t know that they’ll benefit from at all. When people step into a love commitment without any expectation of reward for themselves – that to me is love transcendent. How do you hope that Dreams of My Mothers will touch and change attitudes of readers today? Very few of us ever get to know our mothers as the human beings that they really are. We tend to base our feelings toward our mothers on this sort of institution of “mom,” and we have good feelings and bad feelings based on how we feel they measured up to this image of what moms should be. In reality, they’re just people! I hope the book will help people appreciate their own mothers a little more; to realize that as human beings, we all have our limitations and our flaws, yet within each of us is the ability to affect and reach far beyond what happens in our own lives and touch someone else. And the people who have the most capacity to make that kind of an impact are mothers. And really, all of us are mostly blessed by what they’ve done. Dreams of My Mothers was released in March 2015 and is available through Anchor Distributors, Amazon and other major online booksellers.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. Henry Louis Mencken Flourish Magazine | May/2015 25
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26 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner. Tallulah Bankhead
Turn Your Little Tots into
Tourists Grainne Kelly, BubbleBum
BubbleBum Founder and family travel expert explains why traveling benefits preschool age kids When people think of traveling with young children, they might start to feel a headache coming on; anyone who has experienced it knows how challenging it can be! But it can be very worthwhile, especially for preschool age children, and will benefit them as they grow older. Grainne Kelly, founder of BubbleBum, Child Passenger Safety Technician and child travel expert, gives reasons why you should really consider traveling with preschoolers.
What do preschool kids gain through travel? Kids learn that the world is a lot bigger than just themselves and their house or familiar places. They learn certain rules about staying safe and social etiquette. They will, hopefully, see different people doing the same familiar things, which will let them understand how similar we all are. In addition, travel will give them an appreciation of what makes each culture special, including language, customs, food and celebrations, teaching them that differences between people and cultures are not something to be feared, but rather embraced.
Why is important to take preschool kids on trips instead of waiting until they're older? Preschool kids just want to spend uninterrupted time with those they love; family trips are perfect! In my experience, preschoolers see the whole trip, even the drive to the airport and the waiting around as part of the excitement and adventure. My kids love exploring the departure lounges and guessing who is going where and why! Preschoolers can also be a lot more open and curious about new places, people, foods than older kids, so it's a good time to begin teaching them awareness of their surroundings while you are with them. You hope that these rules to keep them safe will become normal for them as they get older.
What are some “emotional firsts” that preschool kids are likely to experience on trips? The excitement and nervousness of leaving home in the middle of the night to go on an airplane or long road trip. My kids love this part when we go away. Busy, strange places
like airports or wherever you are traveling from can be intimidating, too. My children tend to stick together and hold hands much more than normal. Traveling as a family can be a great bonding experience and encourage children to look out for each other and be responsible for their belongings.
What are some ways to make trips memorable for preschool kids? Younger children enjoy being part of the planning process, too, which again can be a great learning experience for them and it adds to their excitement. Not something they'll fully understand, but it’s about planting the seeds. My kids love to plan what they take and to help pack their things. They each have their own carry-on bags which they are responsible for no matter how young. Also, photos of the whole journey and little keepsakes make trips memorable. We do little journals that start before we leave. Some we keep, some we don't.
BubbleBum was founded by Safekids USA Certified CPST Grainne Kelly from Northern Ireland. Kelly believes that every child deserves to be protected and safe while parents should be able to do just that with convenience and ease. BubbleBum is an award-winning portable, lightweight, brightly colored, inflatable booster seat for kids ages 4–11 easily deflates and folds flat so that kids or parents can carry it in backpacks or handbags, making it perfect for vacations, rental cars, taxis, buses, school trips or carpooling. To find out more, visit www.bubblebum.us.
Other suggestions for making travel special for preschool kids? For special trips, like summer vacations, we make each of the kids a scrapbook with photos and they help write the captions. Kids, even preschoolers, remember more than we think. If they know a little bit about where they are going they can imagine and plan things to do, sometimes making the trip more meaningful. However, kids do love a surprise too!
What we are is God’s gift to us. What we become is our gift to God. Eleanor Powell
Flourish Magazine | May/2015 27
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Beans Teens and
By Susan Meeker
Why coffee might be dragging your adolescent down
Coffee might not stunt your growth or turn your knees black, but it could still be detrimental to your child’s development. Read on to learn why your teen’s coffee consumption requires careful moderation.
Early Addiction Coffee consumption in teens has doubled in the past decade according the Academy of Pediatrics, in part due to the increased pressures of school, sports and other activities. If your teen relies on added stimulants to make it through the daily grind, it might be time to rethink their extracurriculars and seek a healthier balance.
Risky Business It may seem like your teen’s coffee habits go part-and-parcel with their high-achievements, but excessive caffeine consumption could have the 28 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
reverse effect. The National Council on Strength and Fitness reports that teens who drink more than four cups of caffeinated beverages a day are at higher risk for impulsive or aggressive behavior and regular cigarette use.
Need for Sleep Researchers for the Science World Report have confirmed that puberty shifts our bodies’ sleep-clocks, making it difficult for teens to fall asleep before 11 p.m. Caffeine consumption can push teens even further beyond their healthy bedtime, reducing their total hours of weeknight sleep. Scientists concur that adolescents with irregular sleep patterns are more prone to irritability, laziness and behavioral problems, so it is crucial for your child to get as much sleep as possible as regularly as they can.
Interesting - I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray. Seymoure Cray
Got Body
? e g a Dam
Everyday Helpful
Tips Never say NEVER (or ALWAYS either)
When arguing a point, avoid using the words ALWAYS and NEVER. The person you are arguing with is bound to find at least one exception. Therefore, they can prove you wrong.
What to ask yourself while meeting someone new While meeting someone new, consciously ask yourself, “What can I learn from this person?” and, “What would she enjoy talking about?” It’s usually the same thing!
How to make tourists smile If you see someone photographing their partner in a scenic area, offer to take a picture of both of them together. You’ll love their smiles.
from Leil Lowndes
Copy their sentence length for better rapport Does the person you just met speak mostly in longer sentences, or shorter sentences? Believe it or not, if you do the same in conversation, it's creates better rapport and they are more apt to like you!
A compliment a woman loves–and a different one for guys Every woman loves hearing her man say “You are beautiful both inside and out.” However, “You are handsome” is not a male’s fave. He’d prefer to hear “You are right.” Go figure.
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#3 pencils and quadrille pads. Seymoure Cray
Flourish Magazine | May/2015 29
Can’t-Miss
Flicks Avengers: Age of Ultron What: Action, Adventure Who: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Scarlett Johansson, Chris Hemsworth When: May 1
In the second star-packed installment of the comic-inspired series, Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) accidentally jeopardizes the fate of the planet when his attempt to jumpstart a dormant peacekeeping program goes awry. When the villainous Ultron (James Spader) emerges, earth’s mightiest heroes, including Captain America, Black Widow, Hawkeye, The Incredible Hulk and Thor must unite once more to prevent him from enacting his terrible plans. Marvel Studios. 30 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
Far From the Maddening Crowd What: Drama, Romance Who: Carey Mulligan, Tom Sturridge, Matthias Schoenaerts When: May 1 Independent and headstrong heiress Bathsheba Everdene (Cary Mulligan) grapples with her attraction to an unlikely trio of suitors: well-to-do bachelor, William Boldwood (Michael Sheen); handsome sergeant, Frank Troy (Tom Sturridge); and humble sheep farmer, Gabriel Oak (Matthias Schoenaerts). Based on Thomas Hardy’s classic tome, this timeless story explores the nature of love and perseverance, all in the wistful tones that fans of Downton Abby and Pride and Prejudice will adore.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis. Pierre Laplace
Aloha What: Romance, Comedy Who: Emma Stone, Bradley Cooper, Rachel McAdams, Bill Murray, John Krasinski When: May 29
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Tomorrowland What: Adventure, Sci-Fi Who: George Clooney, Britt Robertson, Hugh Laurie When: May 22 Somewhere beyond time and space there’s a place where the actions of extraordinary individuals can alter the fate of the earth and everyone on it. In this Disney adventure flick, the starcrossed duo of plucky teenager Casey Newton (Britt Roberston) and disillusioned inventor Frank Walter (George Clooney) embark on a thrilling mission to unravel the mysteries of the enigmatic world known as Tomorrowland.
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Pitch Perfect 2 What: Comedy, Musical Who: Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson, Hailee Steinfeld When: May 15 The smart and sassy Barden Bellas are back for another hilarious round of a cappella good times, now on an international stage. The group faces seemingly insurmountable odds as they enter the international competition that no American team has ever won. Directed by comedy superstar, Elizabeth Banks, this sequel to the original smash hit is sure to strike the right note with you, your girlfriends and all teenagers everywhere. I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don’t need. Francois-Auguste Rodin
Flourish Magazine | May/2015 31
Floral Wall Clock This unique wall clock transforms a vintage vinyl record into a modern clock with a sweet and simple cottage feel. 12” in diameter and powered with just one AA battery, this up-cycled clock will stand the tests of time. $40 etsy.com/shop/goldendaysdesigns
Rustic Wall Clock Handmade from an old 12” vinyl record, Golden Days Designs presents this wood patterned wall clock to give a rustic feel to your home. The design is protected with clear lacquer and the back features a built in slot for easy wall hanging. $40 etsy.com/shop/goldendaysdesigns
Home Handmade
Decorations By Jenna Herman
Vintage Design Cork Coaster Set This assorted set features six cork coasters with a vintage style design. The laser-etched cork naturally absorbs water to protect your tabletops from water damage while adding an attractive, decorative touch to your table. $23 etsy.com/shop/laserscribeit
Asymmetric Designer Shelving The expertly combined industrial and rustic feel of these shelves makes a dramatic statement in any room and provides additional space for displaying ornate objects of interest. One of a kind, easily assembled and handmade in Jacksonville, Fla. $229 etsy.com/shop/designershelving
Geometric Designer Shelving These handmade shelves are sure to give a modern look to any home and provide the perfect place for display items. The combinations of the unique geometric pattern on white pine with its clever design for easy assembly makes these shelves like no other. $129 etsy.com/shop/designershelving
32 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
Research is what I’m doing when I don’t know what I’m doing. Wernher Von Braun
Fruits and Vegetables Kitchen Prints The perfect addition to any kitchen, these unique designs of fruit and vegetables are printed on antique book pages. Each print is like no other and sure to be an interesting conversation piece with friends and family. To fit the feel and theme of any room, Madame Memento offers numerous different designs to choose from. Set of 2: $17.99; each sold separately: $10.99 etsy.com/shop/madamememento
Doily Coasters Cozy up to a warm drink or cool off with a refreshing cold one, all while protecting your tabletop with these handmade coasters. Each meticulously crafted coaster boasts beautiful Italian stone, rounded edges and a felted bottom to give the set great character, functionality and durability. $25 etsy.com/shop/meadowtea
Kitchen Art Coffee Sign Coffee lovers and minimalists rejoice in this modern, simple wall art. Made from a solid pine board, it measures 12-inches tall and 5.5-inches wide. Available in a Kona stain, painted or distressed finish. $15 etsy.com/shop/timberartsigns
Honeycomb Wall Art You and your guests won’t be able to keep your eyes off this geometric, remarkable wall art. Bee and honeycomb cutouts in a solid board make up this attention-grabbing set. Available in custom colors and sizes. $29 etsy.com/shop/timberartdesigns
Set of 3 Painted Ceramic Vases
Set of Painted Wooden Vase and Candle Holders This colorful set features a wooden vase and matching candleholder. Handmade from pinewood, these interesting pieces are a marvelous finishing touch for any room. $25 etsy.com/shop/shadeonshape
These elegant vases are handmade from white ceramic and dressed in bright stripes for a stylish design. Revamp your home with these modern vases available in four different season-inspired color schemes. $75 etsy.com/shop/shadeonshape
Geometric Mini Planters Set of 3 These adorable planters, made from oak wood and painted in bright, dashing colors, make a superb home for tiny succulents and cacti. $45 etsy.com/shop/shadeonshape
The truth is more important than the facts. Frank Lloyd Wright
Flourish Magazine | May/2015 33
Gardening By Kirsten Nielsen
with Kids
Whether you are an accomplished gardener or just starting out, gardening with your kids can be incredibly rewarding. Learning how to grow plants teaches children how to be patient, how to be nurturing and how magical Mother Nature can be!
Getting Started When you’re first starting out, let your kids have fun and play around. Children naturally love the earth, especially if it involves getting dirty! Have them play outside near you while you’re gardening and let them nibble on some vegetables while they’re running around. Teach them the basics of garden etiquette, such as where to walk, but let them explore and discover fascinating things on their own. As your kids grow a little older, start teaching them about plant care: watering, weeding 34 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
and cultivating. Have them help you put seeds in the ground, and show them some baby plants to explain how that seed will grow with their love and care. Make sure to give them easy tasks that will be difficult for them to mess up; at this stage, you want to constantly encourage them. Teach them skills that are appropriate for their age: the littlest ones can drop seeds in holes, and almost all ages love watering. Your older kids can learn the difference between “good” plants and “bad” ones and start to help with the weeding.
Pride of Ownership When your children are ready, give them a small plot of land to start their own petite garden. Give them easy plants that will grow quickly under almost any conditions so your child can quickly see the fruits of their labor. Kids tend to gravitate towards edible plants
or ones that have colorful blooms, so be sure to choose some plants your kids will get excited about! Help them out if they need it, but try to have them do almost all of the work by themselves. Throughout your children’s gardening experience, keep things fun and exciting! Positive experiences help sustain interest for kids. Through gardening, you can teach them from a young age how wonderful flowers, vegetables and little critters can be. Habits, too, are learned at a very young age, and gardening can teach your children how rewarding it is to grow your own food. Finally, gardening during youth helps children learn how they can personally affect nature, and how gentle they should always be with it!
Benefits of Gardening • Learn patience • Become self-sufficient • Break from technology • Eat healthier • Learn responsibility
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. Oscar Wilde
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Homegrown or Store-Bought? By Kirsten Nielsen
It sounds like a dream: to grow your own fruits and vegetables, save on groceries, and never have to worry about pesticides and chemicals again. But is it feasible? While many everyday produce items are easy to harvest at home, others may not be worth your time and effort. Here’s what we recommend trying to grow on your own, and what you’re better off simply buying at the market!
Strawberries: grow at home These hardy fruits grow quickly and easily, and can often be sweeter than store-bought berries. They also ranked number two on the Environmental Working Group’s “Dirty Dozen” – a list of the most pesticideridden items in the produce aisle. Berries: grow at home
Apples and oranges: buy at the store These large fruit trees require space and the correct climate, and can be found for relatively cheap at any grocery store.
Blackberry and blueberry bushes can easily be added to your side yard and left alone to grow wild.
Pineapples: grow at home These friendship fruits take a while to grow, but are easily nurtured and will amaze your kids. Simply stick a pineapple stalk from a storebought pineapple into a pot of dirt and watch it grow!
Pears: buy at the store Pear trees require space and careful pruning to prevent too-rapid growth. Unless you have the acreage and the time, buy these seasonal fruits at the store.
Aloe Vera: grow at home These indoor plants require little water or care, making them easy even for people who have never had a green thumb.
Eggplant: buy at the store These deep purple vegetables are sensitive to temperature fluctuations, and can often have problems with pests. Skip the hassle and pick the plumpest one at the market.
Radishes: grow at home Radishes are a great starter vegetable for children; they are extremely easy to care for and are ready to harvest in less than a month! 36 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
Cauliflower and broccoli: buy at the store These vegetables have a long growing season, and prefer a certain temperature. Unless you hit that climate sweet spot, simply buy these at the store. I criticize by creation - not by finding fault. Cicero
Herbs: grow at home From mint to basil, almost all herbs can be grown in small pots and with just dirt, sunlight and water. Spice up every dish by picking off a few fresh leaves whenever you need them! Potatoes: grow at home Another kids’ favorite, a potato seed can be started out in the air then planted indoors or outside in a small garden.
Scallions: grow at home These grow from their own roots! Simply put them in water, and watch them grow within a week.
Celery: buy at the store Celery may seem simple, but this vegetable requires soil that can hold water well. If you aren’t up to consistent watering, buy at the store.
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1 Serving of Swiss chard contains 214% of your dailyrecommended vitamin A; 53% of your vitamin C; and 22% of your Iron.
Chard isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t actually native to Switzerland. It probably got the Swiss in its name from one of the Swiss botanists who described it.
Chard leaves contain 13 unique polyphenol antioxidants, including syringic acid, which contains blood sugar regulating properties.
In general, chard is hardier than spinach, kale or other baby greens.
Swiss Chard Calories: 35 per 1 cup serving, cooked Boil chard in water to take the acidic bite out of its flavor, then try it in omelets, vegetarian lasagna or tossed with pasta, olive oil, lemon and garlic for a Mediterranean treat.
38 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
Beta Vulgaris Plant Form: Biennial; leafy green vegetable Water: Average Exposure: Partial to full sun Plant: Spring (before June 1) Harvest: Summer (when stems are 6 to 8 inches tall) Native to: Mediterranean
The Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Healthiest Foods Organization ranks chard second only to spinach as the most nutritious vegetable around.
The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn. Gloria Steinem
Baked Oatmeal HeartShaped
This Mother’s Day, surprise her with something homemade from the heart! Yield: 6 servings
Ingredients: • 3 1/2 cups old fashioned rolled oats • 1/3 cup sugar • 2 teaspoons baking powder • 1 teaspoon kosher salt • 1 teaspoon cinnamon • 2/3 cup dried cranberries • 1/4 cup light flavored olive oil • 3 eggs • 1 1/2 cups milk • Heart-shaped cookie cutter
Directions Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a 9x13 baking pan with parchment paper; set aside. Stir all the dry ingredients together and then stir in the oil. Add the eggs; stir to combine. Add the milk, stirring. Pour the oatmeal mixture into the prepared pan. Bake for 30 minutes. Let cool in the pan for at least 10 minutes. Carefully lift the oatmeal out using the ends of parchment or foil. Set on the counter and slice or use a cookie cutter to create a heart shape Recipe courtesy of Yummly.com
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Diet: 1) a specific allowance or selection of food, prescribed to control weight or in disorders in which certain foods are contraindicated: a salt-free diet, a 900-calorie diet, a low-fat diet, etc. 2) the food and drink that a person or animal regularly consumes Etymology: 13th Century: from Old French diete, from Latin diaeta, from Greek diaita mode of living, from diaitan to direct one's own life
The End of Diets By John Scheck
With the New England Journal of Medicine’s report in April of 2013 on the primary prevention of cardio vascular disease with a Mediterranean Diet, it’s time to ditch how we once defined “diet.” Americans in particular may begin to look at the above definitions and choose the second, which is closer to the ancient Greek word meaning “way of life.”
The alarmingly positive results of the study actually forced the scientists involved to halt their investigations five years early. They felt it was unethical for not to inform participants in the two other control groups that they should immediately switch to the Mediterranean diet. Now that the results are in, so should you! In short, the enormously extensive study says this: About 30 percent of heart attacks, strokes and deaths from heart disease can be prevented in people at high risk if they switch to a Mediterranean diet rich in olive oil, nuts, beans, fish, fruits and vegetables, and even drink wine with meals. Wait a second – this diet is fun! 40 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
What we eat shouldn’t be dictated by the latest fad invented to sell books or some sort of goofy workout equipment. The Mediterranean Diet may look to Americans like a “fad,” but if so it’s one that started about 3,000 years ago and has never gone out of style. This diet (of the #2 variety) has been what people have eaten in the Mediterranean region since people first inhabited it. They don’t eat the food they eat because they’re trying to lose a few extra kilos, or because they’re worried about heart disease; they eat it because it is the best food available to them. The traditions surrounding what people eat here have been carefully protected and passed down from generation to generation. One of the major components of the Mediterranean Diet, perhaps its cornerstone, is olive oil. It would be very difficult to overestimate the importance of olive oil in the diet of most of the people living on or near the Mediterranean Sea. Olive oil is used
for cooking, for dressing salads, for making soup and beauty products, and poured over slices of toasted bread to serve as breakfast for many. The study recommends a generous helping of olive oil every day, (as much as four tablespoons per person) so don’t be shy when pouring. When I say that the Mediterranean Diet is the end of diets, I don’t mean that people will stop dieting. But perhaps we can stop tripping over stacks of the diet-du-jour manuals at the bookstore and instead develop our own version of the Mediterranean Diet – one that incorporates local foods for healthy, delicious meals.
Mediterranean Oil • 1 cup of good Greek olive oil • 2 tablespoons of red wine vinegar • a couple cloves of minced garlic • salt and pepper • 2 tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese • a pinch of red pepper flakes • a pinch of chopped parsley • a pinch of oregano • anchovies (optional but if you leave them out we can’t be friends) Mix these ingredients together and let steep. Serve with bread.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate. Unibomber Theodore Kaczynski
By Elizabeth Putfark
Grateful Never Felt So Good Why showing gratitude might be the best thing you do for yourself today. Want to lower your blood pressure, strengthen your immune system and experience more joy? How about feel connected to the people around you, less lonely and more optimistic? Try taking a large daily dose of gratitude for the next month, and then see how you feel. According to researchers at the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California Berkeley, trials in gratitude studies are well worth the expense: over 5.6 million dollars, to be exact. That’s how much they’re pouring into studies on the health benefits of gratitude, which they estimate to far exceed those already confirmed and listed above. How do you measure your daily dosage? Try these tips for making time to say thanks and boost your overall wellbeing.
•M ake it routine. Pick a time when your family is already together – breakfast, dinner or just before bed – and make that your moment for daily thanksgiving. • Obey the Law of Threes. Share at least three things you feel especially grateful for each day. If one of those things is a person, be sure to share with them, too! •B e the change: Don’t expect gratitude to change you against your will. Let thankfulness infiltrate your attitude throughout the day as you make time to notice and record the blessings in your life. The Greater Good Science Center continues to support research into thanksgiving studies with funding from the John Templeton Foundation. They hope that in the coming years their evidence on the benefits of giving daily thanks will encourage the development of a culture of gratitude in the U.S.
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God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. Robin Williams
Flourish Magazine | May/2015 41
3
By Michael Roizen, M.D., and Mehmet Oz, M.D.
Ways to Know Just
How
Healthy You Really Are
You know we love walking – 10,000 steps daily. But to really protect your health, use these Five Steps to Great Health. They'll help you dodge depression, diabetes, dementia, cancer and cardiovascular problems, plus a whole roster of other wearyou-down, shorten-your-life health challenges.
You want to combine No. 1 Walking with: No. 2 Strength training: Use barbells or stretch bands for a minimum of 30 minutes, two to three days a week. No. 3 Smart nutrition: Eliminate red meat, trans fats, added sugars and 42 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
syrups, and any grain that isn't 100 percent whole; take 900 mg of omega-3 DHA daily; and ask your doctor about taking a low-dose aspirin daily, with half a glass warm water before and after. No. 4 Emotional connections: Stay close to friends and family; care for others; and nurture healthy sexual relationships. No. 5 Stress and sleep control: Meditate daily, and get seven to eight hours of sleep nightly. And whether you've already taken those steps to better health or not, we
When we heard recently that 77-year-old snowbird Guy Gentile had stuck to his walking routine for 6,575 straight days, covering 13,150 miles, we were impressed! Seems what keeps Guy going is never using anything as an excuse to stay home. Plus, he sets goals: At first he wanted to walk for as many consecutive days as Lou Gehrig's 2,130 consecutive games; now his ambition is to keep walking daily until his oldest grandson's 50th birthday in 2037 – Guy will be 100.
bet you'd like to know just how healthy you are right now and where you can make improvements. Fortunately, there are three "no doctor required" tests that assess your health-related habits and health status. And they really work, because, as we've long said, your habits really do control your genes and how well and how long you live.
Test Your Stats The Framingham Study (running – with updates and new participants – since 1948) established the reliability of using info on your blood pressure, smoking, obesity, diabetes, physical
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. Mark Twain
inactivity and blood lipids, as well as psychosocial issues (love, sex, family, work, etc.) to predict your risk of death from heart disease. And its Heart Health Test (cvdrisk.nhlbi. nih.gov) has long been the go-to self-check.
your RealAge was 35 (even if you were actually 50), your risk of dying was equal to a 35-year-old's. And it identified a person's mortality risk more accurately than the Framingham test. (Full disclosure: Dr. Roizen is a member of Sharecare's advisory board.)
a waist of 35 or more inches triple their risk of death from heart disease. So, gals, aim for a waist circumference of less than 35 inches; guys less than 40.
Test Your Inflammation Then there's one more test â&#x20AC;&#x201C; it takes a doctor, but we Now a new study, published recommend it! Have a hsCRP in the scientific journal PLOS (high sensitivity C-reactive ONE, explores such tests' Test Your protein) blood test. It Measurements usefulness. University of measures your level of California San Diego Want an even faster way to bodywide inflammation. A researchers looked at the get a snapshot of your reading of 1.0 to 3.0 mg/L Framingham Heart Health health? Measure your waist indicates average risk for Test and the 93-question circumference by placing a inflammation-related RealAge Test (www. tape measure at belly button conditions like heart disease, sharecare.com/realagetest) level. Belly fat is superdiabetes and dementia; inflammatory and a trigger above 3.0 indicates that you're created by Dr. Roizen. They for cardiovascular problems, at high risk for developing correlated the RealAge test heart attack, insulin those health problems even if results from a subset of resistance, diabetes, you're otherwise healthy and takers with California Department of Public Health cognitive problems, sexual your lousy LDL cholesterol dysfunction and more. Even level is OK. death records and found normal-weight women with that if the RealAge Test said
When you get your results from any of these tests, you want to sit down with your doctor and make a plan to reduce your health risks using a combination of the Five Steps to Great Health and whatever medications and treatments are recommended. With that knowledge â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and the stick-to-it spirit of Guy â&#x20AC;&#x201C; you can change your future!
Mehmet Oz, M.D. is host of "The Dr. Oz Show," and Mike Roizen, M.D. is Chief Wellness Officer and Chair of Wellness Institute at Cleveland Clinic. To live your healthiest, tune into "The Dr. Oz Show" or visit www.sharecare.com
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Woman was Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s second mistake. Friedrich Nietzsche
Flourish Magazine | May/2015 43
Events What’s Happening:
May 1st 6:00 PM Girl Scouts Explore: Lepidoptera @ Florida Museum of Natural History 7:00 PM The Addams Family: A New Musical @ Buchholz High School) 8:00 PM The Two Musketeers @ Hippodrome Theatre 8:00 PM Crowns @ The Actors Warehouse
May 2nd 9:00 AM Living History Days @ Morningside Nature Center 9:30 AM Class No. 4 - 2015 Eat Local Challenge Kickoff Cooking Course @ Haile Farmers Market 11:00 AM Kids Couture: A One-day Fashion Camp @ Harn Museum of Art 2:00 PM Mommy and Me Storybook Tea @ Gainesville Woman’s Club 2:30 PM Free Women’s Self Defense Class @ Global Mixed Martial Arts Academy 4:00 PM Juleps and Jockeys @ Sweetwater Branch Inn 5:00 PM The Two Musketeers @ Hippodrome Theatre 7:00 PM Moonlight Walk @ Kanapaha Botanical Gardens 7:00 PM The Addams Family: A New Musical @ Buchholz High School 8:00 PM Crowns @ The Actors Warehouse 8:30 PM The Two Musketeers @ Hippodrome Theatre
May 3rd
9:30 AM Art in the Sanctuary: Fiber Artist Candace McCaffery @ Unity of Gainesville (Add. Dates) 2:30 PM Nathan Whitaker How I 44 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
Became an Author @ Millhopper BranchLibrary 4:00 PM Imagine Plantation Hall @ Haile Plantation
May 4th 5:45 PM Buti Yoga @ Union Academy/Rosa B Williams Recreation Center 6:00 PM Law in the Library @ Headquarters- Alachua County Public Library All Day Art in the Sanctuary: Fiber Artist Candace McCaffery @ Unity of Gainesville
May 7th 9:30 AM Nature as an Inspiration for Art / Quilters of Alachua County Day Guild @ Alachua Senior Recreation Center
May 8th 7:00 PM Karaoke Night @ Hippodrome Theatre
May 9th 9:00 AM Windsor Zucchini Festival @ WIndsor Volunteer Fire Department Grounds 2:30 PM Steel Magnolias Tea and Concert @ Celebration United Methodist Church
May 11th 6:30 PM Science Café: Bioluminescence @ Blue Gill Quality Foods
May 14th 11:30 AM Women Who Make a Difference @ UF Hilton 6:00 PM GRU’s 2015 Brighter Tomorrow Scholarship Banquet @ Hilton University of Florida 6:00 PM Museum Night: Picture This @ Harn Museum of Art 7:00 PM Florida Baseball @ Alfred
May A. McKathen Stadium-University of Florida
May 15th 7:00 PM Florida Baseball @ Alfred A. McKathen Stadium-University of Florida
May 21st 9:30 AM A Culinary History of Florida @ Matheson Museum 7:00 PM Bicycle/Pedestrian Advisory Board Meeting @ Alachua County Administration Building
May 23rd
May 16th 7:30 AM Gainesville Promise Walk for Preeclampsia @ Westside Park Recreation Center 8:00 AM 2015 Ag Fest & Master Gardener Plant Sale @ UF/IFAS Extension Alachua County Office 1:00 PM Florida Baseball @ Alfred A. McKathen Stadium-University of Florida 1:00 PM Family Day: Sun, Camera, Action @ Harn Museum of Art 3:00 PM Gallery Talk: Curator’s Favorites @ Harn Museum of Art
May 17th 11:00 AM Bob Simons’ Book Signing @ First Magnitude Brewing Company
May 18th 9:30 AM A Culinary History of Florida @ Matheson Museum
May 19th 9:30 AM A Culinary History of Florida @ Matheson Museum 5:30 PM EnCARE @ Facilities Administration Building Education Center 7:00 PM “Living a Prayer-Filled Life” - 7 Classe Course @ Unity of Gainesville All Day Art in the Sanctuary: Fiber Artist Candace McCaffery @ Unity of Gainesville
May 20th
1:00 PM A Culinary History of Florida @ Matheson Museum
May 25th 9:30 AM A Culinary History of Florida @ Matheson Museum
May 26th 9:30 AM A Culinary History of Florida @ Matheson Museum
May 27th 9:30 AM A Culinary History of Florida @ Matheson Museum
May 28th 8:30 AM Community Health Fair @ Hilton University of Florida 9:30 AM A Culinary History of Florida @ Matheson Museum
May 29th 5:45 PM Buti Yoga @ Union Academy/Rosa B Williams Recreation Center 8:00 PM The Game’s Afoot @ Vam York Theater
May 30th 2:00 PM The Game’s Afoot @ Vam York Theater 8:00 PM The Game’s Afoot @ Vam York Theater
May 31st 1:00 PM Community Celebration @ Matheson Museum 2:00 PM The Game’s Afoot @ Vam York Theater
9:30 AM A Culinary History of Florida @ Matheson Museum This isn’t right, this isn’t even wrong. Wolfgang Pauli
Childish Habits
Again
to Pick Up
Remember how much you wanted to be older when you were still a kid? Well now that you are, maybe it’s time to embrace some of those childish habits that got you in trouble during your youth.
Stick your tongue out it dispels anger better than sticking up a finger!
Laugh LOUDLY no one’s shushing anymore, so take advantage!
Climb trees nothing lifts the spirits like a view from the top.
Talk back being polite no longer requires being passive, so speak up if you’re insulted.
By Elizabeth Putfark
Be silly get cheeky with an impromptu round of hide and seek, thumb-wars or tag.
Run through the sprinkler is anything better on a hot summer day?
Fidget wiggle, tap and weave all you want – after all, you’re burning calories! If youth is wasted on the young, don’t waste the perks of adulthood, too. Instead, listen to the child within and rediscover the up-sides of being a grown-up the way you imagined them when you were a kid.
Every Day is Gameday
In Gainesville every day is Gameday, only the venues change! So whether you love going outdoors or simply going out to eat, we’ve got just what you’re looking for. Paddle the Santa Fe River, dine at one of our delicious local restaurants or search for treasures at local boutiques and vintage shops downtown. Gainesville, where nature and culture meet. Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together. Elizabeth Taylor
VisitGainesville.com
352.374.5260 Flourish Magazine | May/2015 45
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By Isabelle Crane
What Mom Really Wants for Mother’s Day
If you’re old enough to read this, you’re old enough to know – not all Mother’s Day gifts are made equal. In fact, many – including messy meals, chaotic activities, stock presents and more – can make mom’s day even more hectic than usual. And guys, that’s pretty darn hectic!
This year, show love to the busy moms in your life with some of these stress-relieving ideas. She’ll appreciate your thoughtfulness far more than just being the center of attention for a day!
Gift #1: Free time Take a big item off mom’s to-do list and replace it with the best gift of all: free time. Schedule a two to three hour deep-clean session requiring all hands but mom’s on deck. You’ll need to plan ahead by finding out exactly where all the cleaning products are and double checking about sensitive fabrics/floors. Since she’ll be in on the surprise early anyway, let mom know that she gets to spend the hours your household spends cleaning doing absolutely whatever she wants. Mani-pedi? Museum trip? Catching up on a favorite television show? It’s all fair game, and your job to make it possible! Gift #2: Mess-less pampering Here’s a little secret – homemade meals and crafts are much less adorable if they leave sticky dishes, floors and upholstery in their wake. The key to making superb homemade gifts is to make them as hassle free as 32 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
Gift #4: A personalized bouquet If you’re thinking you usually just do flowers, you’re not far off track. Who doesn’t love a flowering, fragrant If you always do breakfast in bed, bouquet? Make things even more considering ordering out. Get a box of special this year by visiting the flower bagels and spreads, or if mom has a shop you always assumed existed sweet tooth, choose a variety of somewhere on the other end of the sweet pastries. Offer her a menu to phone. A day before, pile the kids into choose from while she sips her coffee the car to “go for a drive” and head or tea in bed, and deliver it on a down to one of Gainesville’s delightful decorated tray. Whatever you do, flower boutiques. Decide on blooms make sure all spills, accidents and as a family with the help of the florist. melt-downs stay confined to the Mom will love hearing stories about kitchen and mom to other areas of why each child chose the flower they the house until all’s well again. did and will appreciate the time you spent investing in their experiences. Gift #3: Ready-to-hang artwork Obviously those school projects Gift #5: Guilt-free indulgence from art class will be a treasure While some moms are happy to forever, but if they’re leaking glitter all splurge for a day, many others dread over the house, they’ll be a trouble for those holidays that put their dieting to now. Circumvent problems by finding the test. If your dear mother typically out what the kids will be making in avoids the dessert bar, try a modified school and arranging for their display approach to the typical cakes and ahead of time. If you’re unsure, have a candies. Consider something lighter, shadowbox and an 8-by-10 frame on like homemade Rice Crispy Treats hand and be ready to improvise from with designs on top, a frozen yogurt there. That way, as the glue-leaking bar (remember what we said about concoctions make their way in the clean up!), or a selection of her door, mom can ooh and ahh without favorite fresh fruits. She’ll thank you worrying about where on earth to on Mother’s Day, and for the next set them down. few days after, too! possible for mom, who tends to attract hassles like a birdfeeder catching squirrels.
You grow up the day you have your first real laugh–at yourself. Ethel Barrymore
"Cowboys wearing handguns in Gainesville, 1890." State Archives of Florida, Florida Memory, http://floridamemory.com/items/show/28932
an Alachua County judge for many years.
Panhandle
Cowboys By Elizabeth Putfark
Two Gainesville residents, trail-weary from a grueling cattle drive across the Suwannee, rest on their saddle horns one block from the county courthouse when someone snaps this image – now an immortalized homage to Florida ranching life in the 1890’s. Before herds of tourists took their place, cattle constituted one of the largest industries in the Sunshine State. Archie L.
Jackson, left, was born to a Confederate veteran who probably ate of Florida beef while serving in the Civil War. Florida ranchers supplied beef to both sides of the War Between the States, and the hides, tallow and meat they provided were so critical to each army’s survival that the Confederacy even formed a Cow Cavalry to protect herds on the move from enemy raiders. Thomas McDonald, right, had a son who went on to sit as
Of course, cattle ranching was booming in Florida long before the war. When the Seminole tribes were pushed out of the region they left behind thousands of wild cattle in green pastures ripe for grazing. After joining the U.S. in 1821, Florida quickly became the second largest beef producers in the nation (behind Texas.) Despite prosperity, the cowboy lifestyle has never been easy, especially with Gator-country elements added to the mix. Florida cowpokes faced blistering heat, hurricane winds and severe thunderstorms out on the range, where herds of hearty stock were always at risk for stampeding off into the marshes. Herdsmen lived on high alert for panthers, bears and wolves in the stillrugged country.
Florida cattlemen flourished during Reconstruction, aiding the nation’s southernmost state in its climb out of post-war depression. Barons bred and traded the region’s wild descendants of Spanish and British cows, known as “scrub” or “Cracker cattle,” into markets in Cuba, Key West and Nassau. From 1868 to 1878, more than 1.6 million cattle were exported to Cuba alone. By the time Jackson and McDonald rode the dusty streets of Gainesville, barbed wire and rising population rates already threatened the open-range lifestyle of panhandle cattlemen. Yet armed and ready, they sat their steads with a confidence to keep the cowboy way alive for future generations in Alachua County. For more on Florida’s ranching history, visit www.floridamemory. com/photographiccollection/ photo_exhibits/ranching/
Events in Gainesville
Get Out and
About!
May:
T-Rex Named Sue at the Florida Museum of Natural History
May:
Panama: Tropical Ecosystem at the Florida Museum of Natural History
May:
Our Changing Climate: Past and Present at the Florida Museum of Natural History
May:
Tours of The Historic Haile Homestead Sundays in May
May 9: 31st Annual Windsor Zucchini Festival May 1: Gator Stompin’ Downtown May 17: Ask a Scientist: International Museum Day at the Florida Museum of Natural History
Spring is an exciting time to be in Gainesville. Between UF sports, concerts and art festivals, there’s always something to do. So take a break from campus and get out and about in Gainesville. For more information and a complete listing of events visit our website. You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. Tina Fey
www.visitgainesville.com 352.374.5260 VisitGainesvilleFlorida
@ Gainesville Flourish Magazine | May/2015 33
The training put into horses and volunteers comes from Linda and Pat Parelli’s bestselling Parelli Horsemanship program, a brand of natural horsemanship that teaching even amateur horsemen how to speak to a horse in its own language of gestural communication. “There’s a lot of natural horsemanship programs out there,” Morgan admits, “but I find that [Parelli’s] is the most learnable and the most duplicable. There’re a lot of people who can do really great things with horses, but their method isn’t easy to learn. The average amateur can follow Parelli’s step-by-step program. It’s even on DVDs they can watch at home!” The most important part of teaching horses and students about natural horsemanship at HPAF is that it provides continuity when horses
move to their new adoptive homes. In fact, Morgan says they prioritize those adoptive families who commit to keeping their horse in the Parelli training program through the transition, and so long as it continues to benefit the horse. Horses adopted through the HPAF are not available for resale or breeding, so it’s crucial that adoptive families show them the same kind of commitment they’re shown at HPAF. “The thing about people who are doing Parelli is, they don’t give up on their horses,” Morgan states emphatically. “That’s what we’re looking for.” And indeed that’s the attitude that prevails at the HPAF, even on chilly winter mornings and hot
They don’t give up on their horses. 30 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
Volunteer, Pam, gives daily grooming to grateful mare
summer days, when funding runs low, runs out or looks dubious for the future. No matter what it takes, the board of directors plans to keep this place running against all odds. Because at the end of the day, they’re the kind of owners every horse deserves.
The HPAF is always looking for volunteers, donors and new members to serve on its board of directors. If you are interested in getting involved, visit their website at hpaf.org, or contact Morgan directly at 352-466-4366. After serving four years as executive director, Morgan is adamantly searching for an heir who wants to focus on fundraising and community sponsorships as much as she wants to focus on each individual horse’s training. The HPAF is also hoping to find IT help in the near future to assist in keeping their website up-to-date and their advertisement fresh and interesting. Whatever your talent, they’ll put it to good use!
You’re only given a little spec of madness, you musn’t lose it. Robin Williams
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What you might miss on a first glance is the fact that the horses frolicking at pasture haven’t always been so lucky, nor are the workers your typical equine professionals slaving for an extra buck or hours in the saddle.
Greener
This is a rescue operation, and its purpose is anything but recreational. Every horse on the 149-acre Micanopy property arrived in life threatening condition – victims of abuse, neglect and malnutrition. Under the leadership of executive director Morgan Silver, volunteers commit their time to making these horses look and feel as unlike their starving former selves as possible. “Marion County has more horses than any one county in the United States – supposed to be about 55,000,” explains Morgan, who’s led HPAF into By Elizabeth Putfark its 25th year of operation. “We get the ones that are either abandoned or starving because no one wants to feed them anymore.”
Pastures for Rescue Horses at the Horse Protection Agency of Florida
How they’re saving equine lives and why they need YOUR help Morgan demonstrates Parelli lunging methods to volunteer, Wayne
If you drove up to the Horse Protection Agency of Florida (HPAF) on any average morning, you might not notice anything unusual. Like most large equestrian facilities, there’s a steady stream of horse and human traffic moving in and out of stalls and pastures, escorted by a cohort of friendly canines. Rosy-cheeked workers are laboring at stall cleaning, horse grooming and food prepping, and everywhere life is buzzing with activity.
28 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
Just inside the main barn, there’s a wall of before-and-after photos celebrating survivors who got a second chance through HPAF. Morgan knows every horse’s name and story by heart. She points to a photo of a skin-andbones young Thoroughbred that was found with 21 other youngsters starving in a field on Thanksgiving weekend. “Very typical of what we get here” she describes. “People see somebody sell a horse for a quarter of a million or a hundred thousand dollars and think, I can get me one, and breed a baby. They don’t realize that only happens to people who have already put two million in to get that quarter of a million out!”
The most effective way to do it, is to do it. Amelia Earhart
Morgan says she mostly blames the overbreeding that happens in racing and competition industries for the overpopulation and ensuing neglect. “People are breeding for speculation – thinking this horse is fine, but maybe I breed her and sell for a profit,” Morgan claims. “They’re not interested in investing in the horse itself – not in its training. And if you don’t educate a horse and get it broke, nobody’s going to want them when they’re 12 or 15 years old.”
Pointing to the photo of an emaciated 24-year-old chestnut mare, she describes, “Her feet were so bad from malnutrition when we got her that we knew she wouldn’t be able to support a healthy weight. With a horse like that, the best we can do is to feed them up, get them comfortable and at least let them have a happy couple months before putting them down.”
Many of the stories from Morgan’s victory wall have happy endings, but the sheer number of photos stapled along the aisle indicates the depth of difficulties facing equine rescues likes HPAF.
Another pair of volunteers are snowbirds winter in Florida before returning north each spring. “We’ve ridden before but not often enough to matter,” Pam Hawkins says of herself and husband, Wayne Hawkins. “We had a lot to learn, but Morgan has taught us so much. We groom horses, turn them out, soak alfalfa cubes, muck stalls, paint fences, drag fields, change lightbulbs – whatever! It doesn’t matter to us – we’re here because the horses are important.” The struggles of horse rescues like HPAF begin and end with money. “Most people think we get funding from the state, or free feed and hay, and that couldn’t be more false,” Morgan explains. “We’re run totally by donations. “Our operating costs are $1,000 a day, and right now we have enough money for 30 days.” Morgan laughs with exasperation. “So I pray a lot!” In addition to funding, HPAF is always
looking for committed volunteers to keep daily chores going. Unlike their horses who mostly come from a similar set of dismal circumstances, their volunteers arrive from all walks of life. “I’ve been a horse person all my life and just wanted to groom and be around horses,” says volunteer Gloria Crossman. “I read in the paper that they needed volunteers, and even though it’s a 45-minute drive, it’s only one day a week for me. I’m a nurse,” she admits, “but I would rather volunteer here!”
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. Leo Tolstoy
Retirees are the most common volunteers at HPAF, although Morgan says she also gets some college students from UF and Santa Fey and would love to get more. Right now, she even has a pair of young interns from Sweden. “The main thing is getting people who are consistent,” Morgan explains. “We put a lot of training into our volunteers, so it means a lot for them to keep coming back, even if it’s only once a week.” Flourish Magazine | May/2015 29
By Elizabeth Putfark
Florida Grad
Jump
Gives Athletes a
on Competition VERT is a cutting-edge device worn to measure the height and frequency of an athlete’s jumps. Data is displayed on the VERT and can be transmitted instantly to a smart phone or tablet for further analysis, making the work of coaches and athletic trainers easier by leaps and bounds.
You’ve heard of apps that count your calories, your steps and your heart beats per minute. But did you know that there’s a new way for athletes to monitor even more?
range, which is probably higher than most of the men’s basketball players we see in March Madness!
How did the idea evolve? It started just over 20 years ago when I was coaching basketball. Kids between the age of 12 and 16, all they really cared about was how high they Since its release in 2013, the device has could jump. That’s when I had the first been adopted by the US Volleyball “Ah-hah” moment, but the technology Team as well as the volleyball team for wasn’t really available yet. Around founder and CEO Martin Matak’s own 2007 is when I had the second alma mater, the University of Florida. “Ah-hah” moment. Right around Matak believes in the technology’s then was also when the i-Phone value for all kinds of sports – from was coming out, and when I saw the aps I just got it. So we really focused basketball and volleyball to BMX and on utilizing that as a format. Crossfit – and sees its relevance stretching far beyond training. How did your time at UF prepare Combined with other data collecting you for your role of CEO? devices, VERT’s real-time data collection and display promises viewers UF was a wonderful college for me. I didn’t just fill out a schedule because a new way to experience sports – I needed hours or credits. I majored one that’s ready for the changing in advertising, but I had an outside atmosphere of the 21st century. concentration in Astrophysics Tell me about the VERT because I wanted to fulfill my technology. How does it work? curiosity with space science. It was a It’s a wearable tech that measures great way to experience both sides vertical jump and jump count. It allows and it prepared me when I graduated coaches to see their whole team at for the business world. My fascination one time and use it as motivation on with science never left, and that’s why the one hand, and as trainers, to know I’m doing what I do today. when enough is enough. Then there’s the entertainment aspect as well. At What’s it like seeing your UF, for instance, we’ve displayed the product at work on campus at your own Alma Mater? stats on the Jumbotron at the O’Connell Center at some of the It’s a bit of a dream come true, games, and that created a whole new especially when you work with space for fans to see how high people people like Mary Wise, head coach of are jumping. This volleyball team has volleyball team. Mary totally got it some players jumping in the 37-inch from the beginning and that really 26 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
helped us define what was important. To have fans like that – Mary is a walking legend – and to have those type of people from my Alma mater be passionate about what we’re doing is extremely gratifying.
What’s the best entrepreneurial advice you received? First, to stay focused. It’s too easy to get derailed because typically, you have a lot of great ideas. Second, you have to learn to fire yourself. That’s an unusual thought, but as you grow, you have to trust people to do things that you were doing at the beginning stages. The one thing that I learned personally is you have to surround yourself with a great advisory board – people that aren’t afraid to tell you when something sucks, but will also tell you when something is a great idea.
What are your goals for the future of VERT? The future of VERT is for us to become the sports tech company that people associate with major events. If you go to a basketball or volleyball game, we want them to be using our tech and our social platform as part of that experience. This product and the others that we’re working on are not just for the users to see their data, collaborate on and share, but also to provide viewers with a whole other level of engagement when they’re at an event. To find out more about VERT technology, visit www.MyVERT.com.
Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world. Nelson Mandela.
“We’d love for local families and businesses to be a part of our organization in any way they can, whether they do that by coming to an event, sponsoring one or just spreading the word about us. We’d love to hear from them!” For more information on Dance Marathon and upcoming events, visit floridadm.org.
The Dance Marathon organization is about more than just the big dance. Throughout the year, they hold a series of events all aimed at raising funds and awareness for their cause. They host a FT5K, a team bowling event at Alley Gatorz Bowling Alley, a family fun filled FTKarnival, a Kickball Tournament and new this year, a community Food Truck Rally. Still, the group’s main event and namesake continues to garner unparalleled support and participation each year, yielding inspiring results.
Dukes stresses that although only students get to dance, this event and the Dance Marathon organization rely on community support – support she hopes to see increase in the coming years. “There are so many great ways for the community to get involved – the easiest is just to come out to one of our events!” Dukes suggests. “Even more than that, we’d like to keep building a long term relationship with the community.
“I think what’s really special about Dance Marathon at UF is that it’s all these students coming together from different backgrounds, and seeing all those walls broken down as everyone comes together for one cause,” claims Dukes, who fell in love with DM as a sophomore and has continued working her way further into the organization ever since. “We’ve gained so much support from the students, the university and the community in helping these kids who are right here in Gainesville and who need it the most.” 24 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. Dr. Seuss
Accidental bait Apple pieces take up to six months to decompose, and banana peels upwards of two years. During that time, their smell acts as a lure to deer, birds and other animals, drawing them out of the woods and towards the roadside. Steady accumulation of food waste along highways leads to increased odds of animal fatalities and greater risk for accidents.
Aesthetics matter By Susan Meeker
No Litter
Particularly in vacation areas, aesthetics matter. Even though that apple seems “natural” enough to you, it doesn’t belong among the grass and palms by a busy intersection. Rotting waste looks and smells just as unappealing as caste away containers and other misplaced trash, lending an unkempt appearance to our region’s roads.
The hard line
is Good Litter
However you judge litter personally, Florida law judges it in clearly defined terms: no physical matter of any make-up should be dumped from any vehicle, at any time. Period. Offenders face a minimum fine of $100 plus community service (determined on a case-by-case basis).
You’d never throw a plastic bottle out the window of your car, but what about an orange rind? According to environmental experts and Florida law, even organic biodegradable material counts as litter and can cause lasting damage to the local landscape.
Florida spends more than 10 million taxpayer dollars a year picking up roadside trash. Do your part by responsibly disposing of all litter – even biodegradables – in designated containers only.
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They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. Andy Warhol
Flourish Magazine | May/2015 25
By Elizabeth Putfark
Giving Back By
Getting
Down
Springtime in Gainesville is marked by many things – budding blooms, heavy rains and at the University of Florida, the opportunity for students to dance, dance, dance!
Dance Marathon at UF
The annual Dance Marathon put on by Dance Marathon of UF is part of a national effort to raise money and awareness for Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals around the country in a fun, festive and heart-pounding way. In the past 21 years, Dance Marathon at UF has raised over $10 million for our local Miracle Network hospital, the UF Shands Children’s Hospital, making it the most successful student-run philanthropy in the Southeast. Although the event maxes out at 825 dancers, over 6,000 students register to raise funds throughout the season. 22 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
Most of the student dancers are sent as delegates by larger organizations within the university, and being selected is both a privilege and a challenge. “This is a 26.2 hour event that requires students to be on their feet for the duration – no sleeping, sitting or caffeine!” explains Melissa Dukes, Public Relations Director for Dance Marathon at UF. “We have a ‘Morale Team’ that plans all year for ways to keep the dancers going, with different themes every hour and activities for them to do.”
Also every hour there’s a pause on the jukebox for one of the Miracle Network Families to tell their story. “They talk about their child’s illness and their experience at the hospital,” Dukes describes. “It’s a great reminder of how what we’re doing really impacts children.”
But better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie. Khaled Hosseini
Closing ceremonies follow a final countdown to the culminating “sit,” when exhausted college students are allowed to collapse on the floor and listen to one last miracle story. This year, the final family to present shared their experiences with daughter Izabella, who was born a twin three months premature at Memorial West Hospital in South Florida. Izabella suffered a pulmonary hemorrhage at three weeks old, after which she was diagnosed with a rare unnamed disease that would require a lung transplant – one so difficult to come by that her doctors never thought she would make it. Nine months later, Izabella was transferred to Shands where she received that transplant, and two months later she was discharged from the hospital for the first time in her life. Although uncommon in the world of pediatric medicine, Izabella’s story is not unlike other tales of improbably victories by patients and doctors and UF Shands.
“Many kids were told that they wouldn’t make it,” says Dukes, “and then they were able to come to UF Shands. The parents always talk about this ray of hope they felt when they came to the hospital because the doctors were so positive and believed they might be able to help.”
percent of proceeds go toward research and the other 50 percent to the facilities and equipment that help young patients feel as comfortable as possible.
All of the funds raised by Dance Marathon of UF go directly to UF Shands Children Hospital. Fifty
Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. Mark Twain
Flourish Magazine | May/2015 23
Creo Stax This dishwasher safe food prep tool helps you design creative dishes that will impress your family and friends while keeping meals interesting and fun. Made of BPA-free plastic and comes with a 22 recipe book to get you started. $19.95 thegrommet.com
Gadgets By Jenna Herman
Penclic Mouse B2
This innovative computer mouse challenges the customary mouse design for a new and interesting feel. Its ergonomic design counteracts static tensions in your arm, shoulders and neck when using your computer.
Prices vary; penclic.se & amazon.com
Penclic Mini Keyboard Minimized size and maximum comfort. This ergonomically designed keyboard features quiet-touch keys and its compact size helps free up space on your desk for less clutter. Prices vary; penclic.se & amazon.com
Diablo This toasted snack maker reinvents the way you make a toasted sandwich, snack and even dessert. The non-stick, scratchresistant Diablo is designed to be used on your stove so it never needs to be plugged in. Simply line it with bread or tortilla, add your favorite fillings, and heat on both sides for a few minutes using the heatproof handles.
Silpoura This clip-on spout attaches easily to mixing bowls, serving bowls, pot and pans for mess-free pouring and straining. The Silpoura doubles as a spoon rest and can be used for both hot and cold foods. Drain pasta, drizzle chocolate, pour cake mixes with precision â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the possibilities are endless! $9.95 thegrommet.com
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20 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
You cannot find peace by avoiding life. Virginia Woolf
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Flourish Magazine | May/2015 21
Fine Arts at Tioga Town Center
Last month, over 100 artists exhibited their work at the annual GRAA Winter Fine Art Fair, a celebration of visual arts that Gainesville residents look forward to all year long. Artists shared their wares as the days sped by with live performances and even an on-site carver, Mark Flynn, who steadily constructed a masterful sand sculpture during the course of the fair.
Fair
Put on by the Gainesville Fine Arts Association, Inc. (GFAA), the festival this year boasted a host of activities for the whole family to enjoy. From caricature sketches and face painting, to a Kid Zone packed with inflatable fun and an ever-popular Kiddie Train, there was no shortage of entertainment to keep even the least aesthetically inclined guests happy and having a good time. The GFAA has been committed to fostering the study and appreciation of visual arts since 1923. Their goal through this event and their many others throughout the year is to celebrate local artists in order to enrich the Gainesville community both culturally and economically.
Find out more about this event and others at www.gainesvillefinearts.org. 18 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. Oscar Wilde
We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be. May Sarton
Flourish Magazine | May/2015 19
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price activity because, unlike Average Sale Price, Median Sale Price is not B34:=-%'()*@ sensitive to high sale prices for small numbers of homes that may not be 0-C4-?=-%'()*@ ''&!!!1 characteristic of the market area. 01 21 31 41 31 01 01 41 51 61 71 81 01 21 31 41 31 01 01 41 51 61 71 81 01 21 31 41 31 01 01 D$7$E4'()*@ 41 51 61 71 81 01 21 31 41 31
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10 20 30 40 30 10 10 40 50 60 70 80 10 20 30 40 30 10 10 40 50 60 70 80 10 20 30 40 30 10 10 40 50 60 70 80 10 20 30 40 30 10 10 40 50 60 70 80 10 20
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17
If everyone knew the secret to success, then it no longer would be a secret. Fortunately, Forbes Magazine did all the due diligence for the rest of us through research and conversations with top executives. After months of analysis, they came up with a solution – and it’s not about what happens at the office.
3) Plan in Order to Relax the Mind
By Mike Capshaw
5 Traits of
Successful
People Forbes identifies the simple pleasures industry leaders aren’t denying themselves
Here’s a look at the list: 1) Spend Time with Family Balancing work and a personal life often is one of the most difficult tasks any successful executive will tackle. Unplugging from work when walking through the door at home is even more difficult with today’s alwaysplugged-in technology, so silencing the cell phone or iPad while home helps one truly focus on family while decompressing from the office. The New York Times columnist David Brooks opined that “Marital happiness is far more important than anything else in determining a person’s well-being.” Having a happy marriage, and by extension a happy family, is instrumental in finding true happiness.
2) Read In their article, Five Things Successful People Do Before They Go To Bed, Forbes describes just how industry leaders are prepping their game faces in the twilight hours. “The time before going to bed is critical to ensure that one closes out the day that has passed, plans for the day ahead, but it is also critical that the mind is calmed so that one has a restful sleep. Too many successful executives get this wrong. One can only burn the candle at both ends for so long before it will mean that they are not as productive as they should be at work, and not as happy as they should be overall,” wrote Forbes contributor Peter High. 14 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
Reading is an excellent way to expand the brain and improve one’s life. Not reading about something work related also can be relaxing. That’s why it’s second on this list because the majority of successful people devote time – usually before bed – to reading. The Forbes piece explains how “reading fiction or non-fiction in fields not directly related to work” can provide unique insights that can prove helpful at work because “so much innovation happens at the intersection of disciplines.” Be sure to grab a hardback or paperback, though. A National Institutes of Health study suggests that reading on iPads or tablets can disrupt sleep because of the light that is emitted from such platforms.
Mapping out the next day will help calm your brain the night before instead of lying down only to have your mind race with things you have to do the following day. Forbes says the most productive way to plan is to list what was accomplished the prior day, note what wasn’t accomplished and what should be done the next day. Also, add any new tasks that need done the following day. Then, you can drift away to sleep without worry because you know you’ll wake up with a to-do list ready for you in the morning.
4) Turn Off Cellphone and Other Computing Devices The sounds of email or text notifications can interrupt sleep more than anything. More than feeling irritated by the sounds themselves, the person sleeping feels the need to check the notification. And if it’s a work-related email at midnight, it may take hours before the mind can get back into that restful, relaxed state needed for quality sleep. Times of relative quiet often are when the best ideas come, so shutting off electronics actually can help turn on an imaginative mind before bed. Some executives keep notepads and pens by their beds to write down these ideas when they happen as opposed to using a phone or tablet that will only wake them up when they should be resting.
5) Get Seven Hours of Sleep New research suggests that seven hours of sleep may be better than the eight hours we’ve always been taught was the ideal amount of sleep time for adults. No matter how many hours one sleeps, getting plenty of rest is essential for “maximum memory and brain performance in the day ahead,” according to High. He notes that while the article is supposed to be about things successful executives do before calling it a night, it’s still important to plan the amount of sleep you will get before you go to bed by “counting back” from the wake-up time.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies. Voltaire
The Beauty, The Blessing,
The Joy of Being
MOM Vicki Reece on her new book The Joy of Mom and what it means to be an inspiring, empowered mother Interview by Lauren Douglass
How do you capture the grace, soul and love that’s in everything parents do for their kids? America’s favorite mommy blogger, Vicki Reece has an exciting new book that aims to do just that. Through its heartfelt collection of inspirational quotes, song lyrics and poems set to touching photography, The Joy of Mom: Celebrating a Mother’s Love offers a lasting tribute to the beauty of motherhood just in time for Mother’s Day.
Reece is mother of three who has made headlines across the country as a pioneer in the children’s toy world. Before turning to projects like her Joy of Mom blog (joyofmom. com), she created and launched the first ever interactive music and dance computer software and videos that replaced the violence of Saturday morning programs with positive and uplifting messages geared toward empowering youth. Now, she’s extended her mission beyond the field of toys and entertainment to address the needs and desires of families everywhere: to cherish, embrace and make the most out of every moment of their children’s youth.
Tell me a little about the inspiration for the book. 12 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
I’ve been on this journey a long time. What I always really wanted was to share inspiration and beauty by capturing the moments of love between mothers and children. My whole life I’ve been collecting and writing and curating fascinating quotes. I’ve got pages and pages and pages from my whole life, lots just written in journals. I started sharing all this on Facebook with posters and daily quotes, and a friend of mine who was following them introduced me to someone who is a CEO of a company that puts together inspirational stories and books. He saw my content, asked for a little more, and I’m crazy organized so I
quickly shared some of what I’ve been curating over the past four years: the quotes, lyrics, and the work of some of the most beautiful photographers. Each photographer is a mom, and each one’s story is a more beautiful than the next. Gigi is one example. She’s a gorgeous French woman who lives in Canada and growing up, she had a horrible relationship with her mother. So her mission in life was to capture the essence of love between mothers and their children, and every time she does, she heals a little bit. Everybody always asks, why do you love these quotes and pictures about mothers so much? I think it’s because it’s real! You feel the emotion, you feel the moment, you feel the love. After everything I’d been doing on Facebook, the book was really an organized collection of my favorites and best of. I hunkered down for about four months and created Joy of Mom.
Since you already have a successful blog, why did you want to do the book now? My dream was to do something that would come out around Mother’s Day to celebrate moms with something that is a keepsake. This could be a coffee table book, an in-yourpurse book, a read and share book. I’ve shared the galley copies with a few friends, two of whose mothers’ recently passed away. It evoked so much emotion for them in a really positive way. I wanted something lasting. It wasn’t enough for me. I probably have 4,000 quotes and photos that I’ve posted on Facebook, but they’re not easy to find! I wanted something that could be in every home to remind moms every day of the beauty, the finesse, the blessing of being a mom – and to realize in the moment, you blink and
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. Nicolas Chamfort
your kids are in college! Sometimes clean, green and sustainable madeyou get lost in all the business, which I with-love products and resources think happens way too often. and links. We’re also going to start featuring blogs we love. It’s really just What’s the most important a place that is all things good for lesson you’ve learned from moms and motherhood, from A to Z.
being a mother? I would say you can never know the level and the depth of unconditional love your heart holds – that you can really have your heart outside of your body when you have children. My kinds are 20, 22 and almost 24 and there’s not a moment that I don’t feel connected, that I’m not thinking about them, that I wouldn’t be by their side in a New York second. It’s being the best of who you can be, the highest of who you can be to be and the best mom you can be, all so you can inspire and nurture and positively shape and impact your kids so this is a better world and that they’re coming from a place of joy. How did you get started with the blog? I had been doing this on Facebook for about four years and I wanted to create a platform that was all about inspiring and empowering moms. So we did the homework for them, and feature all these mom-made,
every lesson. My children are very compassionate, and they not only carry that with them, but they inspire others who inspire others and so on.
Do you think having positive affirmation makes you a Having the balance to appreciate happier person? those little moments with your Absolutely. We often are reminded child while also running your to think about how we talk to other household and possibly your people but we don’t always think career is such a challenge. How about how we talk to ourselves. do you balance it, and have you I think there is such power in positive always had a career? thinking. Of course people need to Always. I’m a poster child for a working give room and space to things that mom! That was my inspiration for my are negative and resolve those, but I book – because you blink, and they’re tend to jump to the positive; I think grown up! I had to work, first of all, I’m just wired that way! But no matter although it was blessed to be doing what, you have to honor the lesson, things I was passionate about. But I learn from it, and find the positive. was also fortunate that my husband And that makes all the difference. left his career to be a stay at home dad so I could build my career. It’s been If you had to narrow it down to a couple of things, what makes beyond stressful because we put our you who you are? whole lives financially into this, but I just believed there needed to be a I would say my heart. I was the littlest company that was all about good for in class, and I was always walking moms, purely for and purely by moms. with the kids who were getting As far as dealing with the balance, bullied. I’ve always really, really felt that I’ve always been a work in progress! I didn’t know how much time I had I post a lot about it, I blog about it on this planet, but that I had to do and everything I blog about is some good with it! For me, that’s personal experience. making a difference for moms and their children. Tell me some of the ways you use positive messages When they hear about the Joy of in your household. Mom project, everyone who knows It’s really our foundation; it’s how we me is like oh of course you’d be doing live. We walk our walk. It’s how we this – even friends who know me parent. My kids are the same way, from kindergarten! They say, “You which I think is the greatest gift. They were always the positive one,” or not only see it and hear it and heed it, “You’re the only person who was nice but they live it as well. As far as to me in middle school.” Stories that actionable steps, at dinner we’d often make me tear up even as I tell them. bring our favorites quotes and talk I think this is something I was sent about them. We’d also, as we to do and had to do. talked, always look for the positive in The Joy of Mom: Celebrating a Mother’s Love is available for pre-order on amazon.com and nationwide on Mother’s Day at your local Barnes & Noble bookstore.
Life’s under no obligation to give us what we expect. Margaret Mitchell
Flourish Magazine | May/2015 13
Gators All-Sports Report
Gymnastics Three-Peats As National Champs, Freshman Blasts Baseball Home Run Record, Senior Softballer Ties UF/ SEC Career Homer Mark and Tracksters Torch Home Meet
By Mike Capshaw
BASEBALL After sweeping South Carolina at home on April 12, the No. 10 Gators were 28-9 overall and 9-6 in SEC play. UF batted .400 as a team during the series and outscored the No. 21 Gamecocks 38-10 thanks to an offensive output powered by eight doubles and seven homers. True freshman catcher JJ Schwarz, who set a school-record with four homers against Stetson earlier that week, homered three times during the series. GOLF Gainesville native JD Tomlinson posted his third top-5 finish to lead Florida to a runner-up finish at the Old Waverly Collegiate Championship in West Point, Miss. on April 7. As a team, it was UF’s best to-par outing of the year and it combined for a 13-under for the tourney. The women’s golf team finish fourth at the Women’s Golf Bryan National Collegiate in Greensboro, N.C. on April 5. Sophomore Karolina Vickova grabbed her fourth top-10 finish of the year. GYMNASTICS Florida won its third consecutive 10 Flourish Magazine | May/2015
NCAA Championship, edging out runner-up Utah by just .05 of a point. It equaled the smallest margin of victory in the history of the event. The Gators, who won the NCAA Morgantown Regional to advance, became only the second UF team to three-peat as national champs, going track & field (2010, 2011, 2012).
LACROSSE Shannon Gilroy, who led the nation in points and goals, went out with a bang on Senior Day during a 21-3 romp against Villanova. Gilroy recorded a game-high six points with four goals and a pair of assists to improve Florida to 11-4 overall and 5-0 in Big East play. Fellow senior Nora Barry scored a goal and had two assists while Mikki Offit, UF’s third senior, got off two shots on goal but failed to score her first of the season. SOFTBALL The defending NCAA champs continued to roll behind the pitching and hitting of senior Lauren Haeger, who tied the school and SEC record for career home runs with a threerun shot in a 6-3 victory against No. 13 Kentucky on April 13. Haeger’s homer, her fourth in six games, tied
former UF All-American Megan Bush with 65 career home runs.
TENNIS The No. 6 Florida women claimed the SEC Regular Season Championship by sweeping Tennessee at home on April 12. UF’s men wrapped up the regular season with a 4-1 victory against Tennessee. The No. 17 Gators were led by an upset in doubles when Florida’s Maxx Lipman and Elliott Orkin, ranked No. 81, upset the No. 3 doubles team in the country. TRACK & FIELD Both the Florida women and men were ranked No. 2 nationally following several SEC, NCAA and world-leading marks at the annual Pepsi Florida Relays in Gainesville on April 2-4. Sophomore sprinter Kyra Jefferson nabbed the SEC Outdoor Athlete of the Week after the event. left: True freshman JJ Schwarz earned national player of the week honors after homering seven times in the same week, including a school-record four home runs against Stetson. Photo by Tim Casey/UAA Communications Middle: Florida’s Shannon Gilroy scored four goals and had a pair of assists in her final regular season home game at UF to cap off an illustrious career. At press time, Gilroy led the nation in points and goals. Photo by Caroline Casey/UAA Communications right: The UF Women’s Tennis team is all smiles after winning the SEC Championship. It was the Gators’ 28th title in the 35th season of the event. Photo by Rachel Mowat/UAA Communications
Wagner’s music is better than it sounds. Mark Twain
UF SPORTS CALENDAR - MAY
1
Baseball @ Georgia, 7pm; Softball @ Missouri, 7:30pm
2 Track @ LSU Invitational; Baseball @ Georgia, 12pm; Softball @ Missouri, 1pm 3 Baseball @ Georgia, 1pm; Softball @ Missouri, 1pm 5 Baseball vs. USF, 7pm 6 Â Softball @ SEC Tournament in Baton Rouge, La.
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7 S oftball @ SEC Tournament in Baton Rouge, La.; Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf @ NCAA Regionals; Baseball @ Vanderbilt, 7:30pm 8 S oftball @ SEC Tournament in Baton Rouge, La.; Track @ Seminole Twilight; Lacrosse @ NCAA First & Second Rounds; Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf @ NCAA Regionals; Baseball @ Vanderbilt, 7:30pm 9 Â Softball @ SEC Tournament in Baton Rouge, La.; Lacrosse @ NCAA First & Second Rounds; Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf @ NCAA Regionals; Baseball @ Vanderbilt, 1pm 10 Lacrosse @ NCAA First & Second Rounds 14 Â Softball @ NCAA Regionals; Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tennis @ NCAA Round of 16; Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tennis @ NCAA Round of 16; Track @ SEC Outdoor Championships; Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf @ NCAA Regional Championships; Baseball vs. Auburn, 7pm 15 Â Softball @ NCAA Regionals; Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tennis @ NCAA Quarterfinals; Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tennis @ NCAA Quarterfinals; Track @ SEC Outdoor Championships; Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf @ NCAA Regionals; Baseball vs. Auburn, 7pm 16 Â Softball @ NCAA Regionals; Track @ SEC Outdoor Championships; Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf @ NCAA Regional Championships; Lacrosse @ NCAA Quarterfinals; Baseball vs. Auburn, 1pm 17 S oftball @ NCAA Regionals; Lacrosse @ NCAA Quarterfinals; Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tennis @ NCAA Semifinals; Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tennis @ NCAA Semifinals 19 Â Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tennis @ NCAA Finals; Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tennis @ NCAA Finals 21 Â Softball @ NCAA Super Regionals 22 Â Softball @ NCAA Super Regionals: Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf @ NCAA Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf Championship; Lacrosse @ NCAA Championship 23 Â Softball @ NCAA Super Regionals; Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf @ NCAA Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf Championship; Lacrosse @ NCAA Championship 24 S oftball @ NCAA Super Regionals; Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf @ NCAA Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf Championship; Lacrosse @ NCAA Championship 25 Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf @ NCAA Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf Championship 26 Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf @ NCAA Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf Championship
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27 Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf @ NCAA Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf Championship 28 S oftball @ Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s College World Series; Track @ NCAA East Preliminary 29 S oftball @ Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s College World Series; Track @ NCAA East Preliminary; Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf @ NCAA Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf Championship
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30 S oftball @ Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s College World Series; Track @ NCAA East Preliminary; Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf @ NCAA Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Golf Championship
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Schedule and information compiled from GatorZone.com
People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading. Logan Pearsall Smith
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H;GK;IJ I;HL?9;I EDB?D; 7J EHA?D$9EC E:HI 8DCIGDA 9DLC ID 6 H8>:C8: Flourish Magazine | May/2015 11
Photos by Tim Casey/UAA Communications
Gators Spring Into New Era McElwain Makes His Coaching Debut During Annual Spring Scrimmage By Mike Capshaw An estimated 21,000 Florida fans ushered in the Jim McElwain Era during the annual Orange & Blue Debut on April 13. The Gators won. Orange 31, Blue 6. It was the lowest announced attendance for any UF coach’s inaugural spring game since the first was played in 1996, but in McElwain’s defense, the crowd has been dwindling in recent years. With only six scholarship offensive linemen suiting up, fans were not certain if it would look more like a practice than a scrimmage until an announcement two days prior that the teams would line up 11-on-11 during four, 12-minute quarters. In comparison to other top-tier programs with first-year coaches, Nebraska had a record 76,881 for Mike Riley’s debut while Michigan hosted
an estimated 60,000 fans for Jim Harbaugh’s debut. But let’s face it – there is much more to do in Florida than in Nebraska or Michigan during the spring. The Sunshine State is, after all, the top destination for spring breakers every year. When is the last time you heard a college kid say they were headed to Lincoln or Ann Arbor for spring break? Our guess is never. But back to football. The Gators gave fans glimpses of the quick-strike, up-tempo offense that fueled McElwain’s turnaround of Colorado State as head coach and capture of a pair of national titles as offensive coordinator at Alabama. Most eyes were on the offense, especially the quarterback battle between redshirt freshman Will Grier
Sept. 5 New Mexico State Sept. 12 East Carolina Sept. 19 @ Kentucky Sept. 26 Tennessee Oct. 3 Ole Miss Oct. 10 @ Missouri Oct. 17 @ LSU Oct. 31 vs. Georgia (in Jacksonville) Nov. 7 Vanderbilt Nov. 14 @ South Carolina Nov. 21 Florida Atlantic Nov. 28 Florida State
and sophomore returning starter Treon Harris. Grier took the first snaps of the scrimmage for the Orange and looked crisp passing. He was 80-of-11 for 136 yards while leading three touchdown drives. Harris, who missed practices because of the death of his 16-year-old cousin, began behind an offensive line made up of walk-ons while going up against the first-team defense. He was 6-of-10 passing and tossed the
Top left: First-year coach Jim McElwain works with junior cornerback Vernon Hargreaves III during the Orange & Blue Debut. Top Right: Unlike previous coaches, McElwain did not run out of the south end zone tunnel with the team, later saying the UF tradition is a special moment meant more for players than coaches.
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Flourish Magazine | May/2015
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. Ambrose Bierce
gameâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only touchdown pass. Neither young quarterback did anything to help or hurt their chances during the scrimmage, which aired live on the SEC Network. McElwain did acknowledge that Grier is in the lead for the starting job while pointing out that there is still plenty of time (142 days from the spring game to the season opener against New Mexico State) before 2015 officially kicks off. The offense was multiple but mostly vanilla, save for a 42-yard pass down the middle seam from Grier to Alvin Bailey off a flea flicker. It lined up pre-snap in everything from oneback and no-back spreads to a â&#x20AC;&#x153;jumboâ&#x20AC;? package with two tight ends. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a work in progress,â&#x20AC;? McElwain said of the offense. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s face it, there [are] parts [to the offense] and weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re
identifying the parts and weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll put some plans together to help the explosive playmakers have an opportunity to make those plays. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s for us to come up with after we go back through and go through every single cut-up of every practice. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s amazing what you see when you do that; see how guys get better to details. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a lot of left to do.â&#x20AC;? One of those playmakers is junior Demarcus Robinson, who McElwain clearly will look for ways to get the ball to on reverses, screens and other short passes as his â&#x20AC;&#x153;get-it-toâ&#x20AC;? guy. If thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s successful, Robinson will easily best his team-high 53 receptions for 810 yards and seven touchdowns last season. Running backs Kelvin Taylor and Adam Lane had solid spring games as
well and will provide the offense with a one-two punch that will ease the pressure on whichever young quarterback steps under center. The biggest issue remains along the offensive line, which handicapped the spring scrimmage and has consistently been an issue in recent years. Expect signee Martez Ivey to vie for significant action early on at left tackle. â&#x20AC;&#x153;When we get the roster back to balance weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll, you know, juice this thing up [in the spring scrimmage],â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;&#x2122; McElwain said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But I did the best I could, we did the best we could, our O-line did the best they could and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m proud of them.â&#x20AC;? Defense should continue to be a team strength with young talent filling a few gaps left open due to graduation and early NFL departures.
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Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends? Abraham Lincoln
Flourish Magazine | May/2015
9
New
Sonny’s BBQ Location Ready to Roast in Style If you haven’t been to the new Sonny’s BBQ on Archer Road, then you may not know Sonny’s anymore.
The 47-year-old barbecue chain that got its start in Gainesville has opened doors to the next stage in its evolution as a brand here in its own hometown. Their goal, however, remains the same: to provide that local barbecue taste and experience to guests from all around. Dinners at the new location are met with the sweet, spicy smell of pit6
Flourish Magazine | May/2015
roasted pork as soon as they step out of their vehicles. After entering beneath suspended firewood logs, they find themselves greeted with a number of convenient updates. Booths abound to offer trendy, comfortable seating and a new bar invites guests to sit back, relax and have a few. Garage doors open onto an outdoor seating area, complete with new televisions to broadcast
local and national sports, while inside dining gets guests up close and personal to the slow, pit roasting process that makes their meat so fall-apart delicious. Sonny’s original location remains open and true to the 1946 design, giving Gainesville diners two different ways to enjoy true southern barbecue in down-home southern style.
“For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. Henry Louis Mencken
Bring on the May flowers… Editors note…
Gainesville is blossoming with excitement! This month we’re bringing you front and center to some of Alachua’s most exciting events - from UF’s Spring Game and Dance Marathon for charity, to the Tioga Fine Arts Fair. Take an insider’s look at a local horse rescue operation and the opening of Sonny’s BBQ’s newest location, all while you prep for Mother’s Day with our foolproof gift guide for treating mom right. And get ready, Gainesville – Summer is just around the corner!
Lauren Douglass
8JOOFS 2013
"XBSE PG &YDFMMFODF FROM THE
What’s Inside… Around Town
6 New Sonny’s BBQ Location Ready to Roast in Style 18 Fine Arts Fair at Tioga Town Center 22 Giving Back By Getting Down: Dance Marathon at UF 28 Greener Pastures for Rescue Horses at the Horse Protection Agency of Florida
Family & Home
20 Must-Get Gadgets 32 What Mom Really Wants for Mother’s Day
Financially Speaking
14 5 Traits of Successful People 16 Single Family Homes Monthly Market Detail
Get to Know Gainesville
8JOOFS 2013
33 Panhandle "XBSE PG &YDFMMFODF Cowboys FROM THE
8 Gators Spring Into New Era McElwain makes coaching debut during annual spring scrimmage
12 The Beauty, The Blessing, The Joy of Being Mom Vicki Reece on her new book, The Joy of Mom
Features
10 Gator’s All Sports Report Gymnastics three-peats as National Champs, freshman blasts baseball homerun record, and more!
15 Florida Grad Gives Athletes a Jump on Competition An interview with MyVert CEO, Martin Matak
4
Flourish Magazine | May/2015
If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it. Erma Bombeck
Crossword Answers PUBLISHERS Lauren Douglass Marc Douglass Managing Editor Elizabeth Putfark COPY EDITOR Daniel Sutphin Assistant EDITOR Mike Capshaw ART DIRECTOR Daniel Tidbury GRAPHIC DESIGN
Jane Dominguez Teresa Gresh Patrice Kelly Becky Snowden Daniel Tidbury PROMOTIONS Amanda Liles Karen Jones AnnMarie DeFeo Anita Knittel
Sudoku Answers
ACCOUNTING Lynsey Parrish CIRCULATION Adam Simmons SPECIAL PROJECTS Lauren Kolansky Daniel Sutphin ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Shane Howell (shane@whpinc.com) ADVERTISING & SALES Shane Howell Mike Capshaw Susan Noddle
Maze Puzzle
WRITERS Ginger Henderson Kat Freestone Kelly Herman Amy Smith Mike Capshaw Sarah G. Mason Kelly Stamps Kristi Story Vivienne Van Eijkelenborg Susan T. Spencer Debbie Travis Syliana Resvanis Joe Graedan, MS Teresa Graedon, PhD
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I want to be around people that dream and support and do things. Amy Poehler
Flourish Magazine | May/2015
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Flourish North Florida MAY 2015 Volume 1 Issue 26 www.MYFLOURISHMAGAZINE.COM
M a g a z i n e
Vicki Reece
5 Traits
Shares the of Being a Parent
Joy
of Successful People Foolproof
PRST-STD U.S. POSTAGE PAID TAMPA, FL permit #2397
Motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day Gifts
Postal Customer
FLIP FOR mor e flourish
Recovering Happy Trails with the Florida Horse Protection Agency