Change Of Heart… It’s REALLY Ok To Change Your Mind But Ask These 4 Questions First by Gary Miller |
Have you ever had a change of heart? A change of heart can be about something as simple as what’s for dinner or can impact more serious areas like a relationship or business. Sometimes a change of heart is exactly what the doctor ordered but there are some cautions we need to be careful of.
My Change Of Heart At 5:00 a.m. This Morning Last November I spent a good chunk of money for a ticket to a three day summit (that’s just a hipster way of saying seminar) for writers, content
creators, and basically anyone who is monetizing any creative endeavor. Many folks I look up to in the writing and podcasting business go to this event so I jumped in and got a ticket. As the event neared I was leery of packing up my bags and hitting the road. I couldn’t seem to put my finger on why but I wasn’t thrilled to make the trip. I booked everything up but something in me was telling me it wasn’t right. Long story short the day I was scheduled to leave, I cancelled my flight and backed out. I had a change of heart. I didn’t make the decision on the fly. (That’s what got me in trouble in the first place nearly a year before when I bought the ticket) I ran my decision through a few questions that I suggest you give a try next time you’re faced with a change of heart dilemma.
Am I Willing To Pay The Price For This Change Of Heart? I’m talking sheer numbers and data here folks. If we’re thinking about walking away from a job, canceling a trip, filing for divorce, we really need to get objective quickly and ask ourselves are we willing to pay the price? For my example earlier I lost more than a few dollars on my trip change of heart. Bare in mind I gained some much needed peace of mind but the bottom line numbers were in the negative. An important factor to remember is not just the dollars today but also the dollars potentially lost tomorrow. How many people have a change of heart with a business and forfeit literally thousands of dollars simply because they quit too soon? Are you willing to pay the price for that kind of change of heart?
Does This Opportunity Make Me Say Yeah or HELL YEAH! One of my mentors reminded me of this concept a few months ago. Following the lead of writer Derek Sivers he works out which projects he
will take and which ones he’ll move away from by only working on things that make him say HELL YEAH! Just saying yes is not enough because chances are your heart is not all the way in it. Vetting a change of heart to figure out if it’s the right way to go or not can be greatly assisted by asking, does this path make me say an enthusiastic hell yeah? If not the answer should be no and a change of heart could be the best move.
Who Else Is Impacted By My Change Of Heart? While having a change of heart is normally deeply personal our actions are likely to impact others. If you’re thinking about quitting your job it goes without saying that you need to consider the impact of that decision not just on you but for those you provide for if you have a spouse or family. In my cancelled trip example my absence literally impacted no one negatively. If anything my family was thrilled I was going to be home for the weekend. That was a win/win. Not all changes of heart work out so clean. Just because others are impacted doesn’t mean that a change of heart isn’t required. It does mean it requires more thought and consideration before pulling the trigger.
What Is The End Game? This is one of my favorite things to use to sort out if a change of heart makes sense. A sure sign of reactionary thinking is we make decisions without looking at the end game. Whatever your doing right now, what is the end game? What’s the point? Why are you even doing it? If the answers don’t make sense or you just can’t come up with any, a change of heart may be the right way to go. This question also keeps you out of the troubled waters of quitting too soon on something valuable. Perhaps you’re ready to get out of a business or project. What you’ll probably find when you ask about the end game is that the reasons you think you want to quit really aren’t valid. Often the main problem is that you don’t have a clear end game or goal. Nothing can
drive us forward and get us through tough times like a clearly stated inspiring goal aka end game.
A Change Of Heart Is Ok But Tread Lightly Don’t confuse it, sometimes a change of heart is absolutely the right move. There is nothing noble about continuing to do things that don’t work. Too often motivational folks want to excuse facts with fluffy hopes and dream language to avoid the reality that a change of heart and direction is the best move. Remember, sometimes the most noble and responsible thing to do is to quit something. That being said, be VERY careful. Sometimes we just need a break instead of ushering in a complete life change. A pause in the action of life can give us just what we need to get back to doing great work. Do you want to learn how to share your stories and ideas with others and actually get paid for it? Crazy huh? Click Here, enter your email, and I will show you the goods. Also, connect with me on Facebook here. I look forward to meeting you!
~ Gary Miller Jr.