FREE! VOLUME 39, #7 SEPTEMBER 2022 INSIDE: The Fit Family • Choosing Childcare • Wellness Choices
2 WNY Family September 2022
September 2022 WNY Family 3 September 2022 • Volume 39 • Issue 7 To Reach Us: Advertising Department advertising@wnyfamilymagazine.com Calendar Submissions calendar@wnyfamilymagazine.com Subscriptions subscriptions@wnyfamilymagazine.com Editorial Submissions michele@wnyfamilymagazine.com MAILING ADDRESS: 3147 Delaware Ave., Suite B Buffalo, NY 14217 Phone: (716) 836-3486 • Fax: (716) 836-3680 PRINTED BY: Commercial Printing Division The Post-Journal, Jamestown Visit Our Web www.wnyfamilymagazine.comSiteCIRCULATION(copiesprinted):20,000 © 2022 Western New York Family, Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction in any form without permission is strictly prohibited. Inclu sion of an advertisement does not constitute an endorsement by the publisher. PRINT SUBSCRIPTIONS: MAILED FIRST CLASS, IN AN ENVELOPE SAME DAY ISSUE IS DELIVERED FROM THE PRINTER: $28 one year, $52 two years, $75 three years. Phone & online orders accepted with credit cards. Gift subscriptions available. Single copies & back issues by mail, $2.50. IF YOU MOVE: Missed issues will not be re placed if we do not receive an address change before issue mailing date. WE ARE PUBLICATIONAUDITEDAN /WNYFamily/WNYFamily/WNYFamily EDITOR & PUBLISHER Michele Miller GENERAL MANAGER Paul Kline SALES REPRESENTATIVE Paul Kline GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Karen MelanieWawszczykSchroeder CONTRIBUTORS Barbara Blackburn • Donna Phillips Richard De Fino • Deborah Williams Kathy Lundquist • Myrna Beth Haskell Mike Daugherty WhereIt’sAt! Back to School Features: 6 n Building CommunicateBridges:and Connect with Your Child’s Teacher by Janeen Lewis 8 n Extracurricular Activities are More Important Now Than Ever by Rebecca Hastings 10 n 18 Simple Ways to Infuse Each Day With Learning by Rebecca Hastings 12 n How to Survive the Elementary School Years: 8 Parenting Tips for Ages 6 to 10 by Kimberly Blaker 14 n 7 Productive Questions to Ask Teachers at Conferences by Rebecca Hastings 16 n Want Your Kids to Learn? Teach Them It’s Okay to Make Mistakes by Jan Pierce 20 n One Size Doesn’t Fit All: Understanding Your Child’s Temperament by Sarah Lyons 22 n One Parent’s Experience: Taming Mount Laundry by Sarah Lyons 34 n Shape the Future: The College Search & Application Process by Bridget M. Larrabee 44 n 10 Conversations to Build Strong Mental Health in Your Children Regulars: 5 n Web Finds / What’s New In The Kid Biz 17 n Dear Teacher by Peggy Gisler & Marge Eberts 18 n Pick of the Literature by Dr. Donna Phillips 26 n Family Travel Auburn Celebrates Harriet Tubman by Deborah Williams 30 n Raising Digital Kids Detective Mom by Mike Daugherty 32 n Journey Into Fatherhood A Weekend Getaway for Dad by Richard De Fino 33 n Parent Previews by Kirsten Hawkes 36 n Special Needs Success Story: Experiencing College Life in a Fully Inclusive Setting 38 n Tweens and Teens Helping Teens Develop Close Friendships by Tanni Haas, Ph.D. 39 n Tweens and Teens BFFs No More: Helping Teens Through Friendship Breakups by Tanni Haas, Ph.D. 40 n Single Parenting Dating DOs and DON’Ts by Diane Dierks, LMFT, CFLE 46 n The Kid Friendly Kitchen Apple Ladybugs, Chicken or Tuna Rounds, & Flourless Cookies by Kathy Lundquist 47 n The Kiddie Gourmet Andy’s Sunrise Diner by Barbara Blackburn Directories: 19 n Choosing Childcare 23 n The Fit Family 41 n Let’s Party 42 n Wellness Choices Find this entire issue online at www.wnyfamilymagazine.com You’ll find FREE courtesy copies of WNY Family at all Buffalo area Wegmans and 300 locations including Public Libraries, Doctors’ Offices, Child Care Centers and many of our advertisers. (Look for us INSIDE Wegmans on the racks where newspapers are sold, even though we are still FREE, or in some stores, on the FREE rack in the store foyer.)
4 WNY Family September 2022 Award Winning Academy of Theatre Arts 2022/2023 ATA Theatre Season REGISTRATIONFALLisNOWOPEN! Spots fill up quickly, so sign up today! For visitinformationmoreourwebsite! www.academyoftheatrearts.com 4231 Transit Road Williamsville, New York 14221 Contact 810-0551 info@academyoftheatrearts.comor 810-0551Calltoday!
By well-known brand Masterlock, this lock (Model 1535DWD) uses a four character word, instead of numbers, to protect possessions in a school locker or at the gym. A word might be easier for your child (or you!) to remember than a series of numbers. Easy to reset combo with a coin on bottom of lock. Available in a variety of colors. (Amazon, $10.88).
September 2022 WNY Family 5 What’s New... IN THE KIDBIZ web.finds WORD COMBINATION LOCK
RULED INDEX CARDS ON A RING
This 8.5-inch long by almost 5-inch wide pencil case is really a roomy pouch that can carry plenty of supplies and comes in 8 different patterns. Their video shows how it fits pens, pencils, markers, scissors, and much more in 2 zippered compartments. It has over 24,000 ratings averaging 4 ½ stars. It would definitely “carry the load” from grade school to college to office! (By Easthill, Amazon, $7.99 on sale, regularly $15.99)
Every one of us can probably remember the feel and smell of brand new school supplies at the beginning of a school year. Amazingly, there are al ways new products to make school days and learning easier. Here are a few!
Your child can add inclusivity and diversity to their artwork this year with a pack of mul ticultural crayons that come in eight different shadesapricot, black, burnt sienna, mahogany, peach, sepia, tan, and white - to more accurately represent the skin tones of people of the world (By Crayola, Amazon, $6.59 for a pack of 8 crayons)
Why didn’t somebody think of this years ago? Even with today’s technology, studying with flash cards or note cards is still very ef fective. This threesome, of 65 index cards each on a ring, is an easy way to make your own study cards and keep them organized each time you run through them. Just creating the cards will help your child absorb the material! (by MyOfficeInnovations, Amazon, $12.60 for a set of three)
LARGE CAPACITY PENCIL CASE
The National Parenting Center (TNPC) has released its 32nd Fall Seal of Approval report. With this re lease, 27 new winners join the ranks of top products over the years to attain the prestigious award. Since 1990 parents, industry watchers, and retail buyers regularly look to the Seal report to help identify products that have met and survived rigorous multi-point consumer testing that has stood the test of time. Taken into consideration are a variety of factors including, but not limited to, price, packaging, design, stimulation, desirability, age appropri ateness, instructions and more. TN PC’s Seal of Approval is ultimately a peer-to-peer review program to recognize and highlight products and services that have been met with a “thumbs up” by parents. Categories include Games; Toys, Puzzles, Dolls and More; Toys That Teach; Toys/App Hybrids; Building & Construction Toys; New Technolo gies; Products for Babies; Educa tional Products; Audio For Children; and Products for Parents. The Fall 2022 winners can be found at center.combeasarticlesvisitorsadolescence.thatandorganization.America’sterapproval-rep/fall-2022/nationalparentingcenter.com/seal-of-https://TheNationalParentingCenhasestablisheditselfasNorthleadingparentadvocacyTNPCoffersadviceinformationtoparentsonissuesrangefrompregnancythroughTheirwebsiteoffersfreeaccesstohundredsofonparentingissuesaswellSealofApprovalreviews.Itcanfoundathttps://nationalparenting
NATIONALPRODUCTCENTERPARENTINGFALLAWARDS
MULTICULTURALCRAYONS
Try to introduce yourself and talk to the teacher face-to-face or on a virtual call. If this is not possible, it’s never too late to send an introductory email and offer your support to the teacher. That way, if a challenge does present itself during the year, a teacher’s first encoun ter with you isn’t a call about behavior challenges or academic struggles. Be involved One of the best ways to get to know your child’s teacher is to be involved in what is going on in the classroom and school. This can be difficult if your child is a remote learner. Even so, find cre ative ways to volunteer. Ask if you can read to your child’s class via Zoom. Volunteer to be a room parent. If volunteers are limited at your child’s school, you can still organize signups for supplies and send in prepackaged craft items and snacks for class parties or events.Ifyour career is related to some thing your child’s class is studying, of
Take head counts often, especially after bathroom breaks and lunch. Keep your cell phone with you at all times. Get the teacher’s number and numbers of other parent chaperones so that you can stay in contact if you split up. And remember, you are there to help the teacher and students foremost.While you should model participation and have a positive attitude about the trip, don’t slip away to that new exhibit you’ve been dying to see and leave your group.
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Be an A+ Chaperone
Do you feel intimidated when you think of talking with your child’s teacher? What if your child complains about problems with his or her teacher? What do you do then? And what if your child is a virtual learner this year? Communi cation between home and school could be even more complicated than in years past.I’m a parent and a teacher, so I’ve been on both sides of the teacher’s desk. I’ve also felt the challenges teachers and parents feel while navigating remote learning. Here are some tips to help you communicate and connect with your child’s teacher even during unique times. Get to know the teacher
Teachers welcome questions and concerns and are proactive. As a teacher, I would much rather know about a prob lem early so that I can deal with it in the best way for all concerned. Your child’s teacher should be open to your questions and suggestions so don’t be too intimi dated to Keepask.up with written teacher notes, permission slips, report cards, and any other written communications the teacher sends home. Sending a quick re sponse to the teacher’s requests makes the teacher’s job easier. — by Janeen Lewis
Keepopencommunicationsandpositive
Communicate and Connect with Your Child’s Teacher Building Bridges
Learn the names of all the students in your group, and encourage them to pay attention, be on task, and stay together. If a child is consis tently ignoring the rules, alert the teacher.
fer to answer questions face-to-face or virtually. Many employers build in time for employees to volunteer in schools so they don’t have to take time off from work.Ask if you can cut out items the teacher has laminated or track down sup plies for a lesson. Come to after-school events, school productions and parentteacher conferences, either face-to-face or virtually, so that you are visible and can touch base with your child’s teacher. Even if your school is learning remotely during the year, stay tuned in to what is going on so that you will be in the know.
One way to connect with your child’s teacher is to help chaperone a field trip. Teachers really appreciate the help of parents when they venture outside school grounds with a group of students, and spending a day with your child’s class not only gives you time to get to know the teacher bet ter, it will probably give you a better appreciation of what he or she does. If you do volunteer to chaperone, show up on time so you can get information from the teacher and meet your group. If possible, take a pic ture of your group so that if someone becomes separated, you know what they are wearing and can show the picture to other helping adults.
Nativity of our Lord SchooL
We are a Diocese of Buffalo STREAM School
Make a change as a last resort Sometimes children have personality conflicts with their teachers. This actually offers an opportunity for growth if teach ers and students can work together in a respectful and produc tive manner. After all, this is what children will need to do when they grow up. But if problems persist, it may be time to request a change to another class. Discussing your options with a school counselor or administrator may help you navigate a tough year.
“Where Faith Leads to Success” 4414 South Buffalo St. | Orchard Park NY 14127 716-662-7572 www.NativitySchool.net
Teachers have a lot to manage in their classrooms, and with twenty-five or more students to supervise sometimes they make mistakes or don’t see every problem. Your child may think something happened in class that wasn’t fair, and it’s easy as parents to react emotionally and blame the teacher. But support the teacher as much as possible while you gather information about what happened. Try to help your child see the teacher’s point of view, and talk about how people can have differences and still work together to succeed.
The Only Catholic School in the Village of Orchard Park At Nativity of Our Lord School in Orchard Park, NY, we are a faith-filled, child-centered educational institution. At Nativity School, learners are encouraged to problem solve, create and achieve their highest potential Students are nurtured, encouraged, and guided along their religious and educational journey. Our Community of Learners achieve and thrive in their secondary education using the strong foundation they built at Nativity of Our Lord School. Participation in sports, music, and service activities is encouraged and fostered at all levels.
Advocate for your child
Don’t be afraid to speak up if a problem in your child’s class becomes pervasive. If your child’s grades start to slip, he or she is continually unhappy, or if you suspect your child is being bullied by a classmate, work with the teacher to devise a plan to help.
There’s a place for you at Mercy!
Of course, encouraging notes brighten a teacher’s day! Try tobothunderstandsides
September 2022 WNY Family 7 Remember to keep com munications positive. If you have concerns or think the teacher has dealt unfairly with your child, don’t dash off a negative note or email and send it first thing in the morn ing. For sensitive conversa tions, call and set up a time to meet after school.
Understand that teachers are human Most of the teachers I know are caring individuals who want to make a difference in the lives of the children they teach. Often, they are parents, too, and although it is hard to imag ine, at one time they were students who lived through awkward growth spurts, problems with peers, lost homework, and braces. They understand what parents and kids are going through, and they strive to build a positive connection between school and home. Janeen Lewis is mom to Andrew and Gracie, as well as an elementary teacher with degrees in journalism and education. She has been published in several parenting publications across the country, and in Chicken Soup for the Soul:Teacher Tales.
Rebecca Hastings traded the classroom for writing when she stayed home with her three children. She lives in Con necticut with her husband, three teens, and two dogs. You can find her at Re beccaHastings.net and on Amazon. In real life, she can often be found typing words, driving her kids places, or wher ever there is chocolate.
problems, sometimes we need a break from our daily struggles. Even as adults we know the value of a good walk or a cup of coffee with a friend. Extracur ricular activities give kids a break from thinking about how different school is or how something has changed at home since the pandemic started. A healthy outlet can be a mental escape from the things that feel hard in daily life.
5) Extracurricular activities offer fun. We can all agree the last few years could be characterized by many things, but fun hasn’t been at the top of the list. A weekly chess club or a run around the bases with the baseball team goes a long way to reinstating fun in our everyday lives. Kids need to remember that it’s not only okay to smile, laugh, and have fun with friends, it’s essential.
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3) Extracurricular activities provide direction. It has been two years of unknowns for all of us, includ ing kids. While they have been incred ibly resilient and proven they can roll with so many changes, re-entry isn’t easy for every child. An enrichment club or a recreational sport can give them some direction and stability in a world that has lacked both. Even a simple once-a-week ac tivity on the calendar is something kids can look forward to as proof that their world isn’t turned upside down.
4) Extracurricular activities give an escape. While it is im portant to talk about our
6) Extracurricular activities help them mature. Part of life is learning about who we are, the things we like, and the activities that make us come alive. Exploring extracurricular activities give kids a broader framework for discovery about themselves. When we encourage this in our kids, we have a front-row seat to them becoming more fully who they are.
We all know life changed drastically when the re cent pandemic entered the picture. From online schooling to making decisions about how we spend our time, life as we knew it was turned upside down. Now that we are finding our way through these changes, under standing what kids need is essential. Why? The American Psychological Association reports a 24-31% increase in mental health-related emergency room visits in kids and teens in 2020. Kids are struggling and a great way to help is with extracurricular activities. While we do need to proceed carefully, choosing what is right for each child and family, and resisting the urge to overschedule, extracurricular activities are more im portant now than ever.
Extracurricular Activities are More Important Now Than Ever — by Rebecca Hastings
6 Ways areActivitiesExtracurricularHelpKidsToday1)Extracurricularactivitiesanoutlet. Whether playing a team sport or learning a new form of art, these activities allow for a chance to have less structured experiences from typical school/home life. The ability to create or interact helps kids get their feelings, frustrations, and fears out in a produc tive, safe way.
2) Extracurricular activities promote interaction. Taking a cre ative class or joining a team helps kids interact with peers in a fun way, promot ing positive relationships. In a world where time with other people all but came to a halt, kids need to learn how to connect with others again. Common interests and goals provide a safe, lightly structured format for these interactions.
September 2022 WNY Family 9 APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE WITHIN 48 HOURS Facebook!usFindon Gentle and DentistryCaring for Children & Youth Ages www.just4mepediatricdentistry.com1-21 Pediatric Dentistry Accepting: Fidelis & Healthplex 1660 Hopkins Rd. Getzville, 716-688-7721NY 160 Elmwood Ave. Buffalo, 716-436-2130NY We believe in academic excellence. Self-expression. Personal responsibility. Chasing dreams. We believe in smaller class sizes. Bigger college scholarships. Singing loudly. Leading by example. We believe in celebrating our faith. Building relationships. Scoring goals. Challenging ourselves. We believe in good friends. The importance of family. Making everyone feel welcome. We believe in you. (716) 877-1358 • MSMacademy.org Contact Elizabeth Suchan-Reitz ‘07, Director of Admissions, at esuchan-reitz@msmacademy.org to reserve a spot, review any questions or discuss your future at MSM. JOIN US AT OUR OPEN HOUSE: SUNDAY, OCTOBER 16 & MONDAY, OCTOBER 17
Teaching your child how to do double-digit addition or about World War II is important. But those are limited skills and facts. Teaching your child to love learning offers them a lifetime of discovery, far outside the classroom. Here are 18 easy ways to foster a love of learning in the middle of ev eryday life.
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2) Let them see you read. While reading to your children has many benefits, letting them see you read shows kids that reading is forever. It’s not just for babies. It’s not just for school. Read in front of them (and Facebook doesn’t count).
6) Embrace what they love. Give kids the opportunity to explore the things they love. If your child is into — by Rebecca Hastings
1) Read to them. Reading not only has physi cal and emotional benefits but there is also concrete evidence that it helps brain development and academic growth. With so much possibility, reading is the perfect way to help kids fall in love with learning.
5) Relax. True learning goes far beyond grades in a classroom. Show them you believe that.
4) Sing, play, and listen to music. The brain benefits of music are numerous. Plus, music can bring joy, relaxation, and express ideas.
18 Simple Ways to Infuse Each Day LEARNINGwith
3) Be outdoors. Time outside provides oppor tunities for fine and gross motor development, risk-taking, and exploring, all of which prove beneficial to learning. There is also a direct correlation between time outside and reduction of stress, confidence building, and exposure to different stimulation.
13) Keep reading picture books. Even as kids get older, picture books can provide unique learning opportunities. Increased connection with the text, vocabulary, and a more sensory approach to reading helps the experience be enjoyable and beneficial.
14) Go places. Visit the sea or a mountain. Spend time at the free art museum or check out the historical house in town. Experiences make learning part of life and create a schema, a personal framework for learning.
16) Enlist help. Helping with adult tasks gives kids new skills and shows them the need to learn throughout life. Cooking, taking pictures, changing the oil, doing laundry — all show kids that there is always something new they can do.
7) Talk about learning. Let them know when you discover something new. “Wow, I never knew that popcorn could burn so quickly. I wonder why.” Kids need to see that we are always learning, even in the ordinary.
17) Fail. Often. Let them see that failure is part of learning. Recognizing failure as part of the learning process rather than an end to learning shows kids to keep going. Demonstrate that it’s okay, even good, to fail because it’s all part of the learning.
12) Ask random math questions. Math facts are foundational for good mental math, but kids don’t always want more schoolwork. Make math facts fun by asking them when you’re doing something else like driving, hiking, mak ing dinner. Make it easy, fun, and short!
10) Wonder. Encourage them to think freely about things, without boundaries. Some of the best ideas started with wild wondering!
9) Give them money. I know it can be pain fully slow, but letting them pay at the store and count change is real-life learning. And if you use plastic for all your payments, talk about how that works, too.
11) Play. School keeps kids busy learning good things. But there is less room for play on a regular day. Giving kids the op portunity to play with no agenda allows them to be better thinkers.
15) Create. Giving kids the chance to create through art, music, science, or any imaginative play helps them develop better thinking skills that translate far outside the classroom.
18) Did I mention read? It’s one of the simplest things you can do with endless possibilities. Read to learn, for fun, and life. Rebecca Hastings traded the classroom for writing when she stayed home with her three children.
“It Takes a Village” Elmwood Village Charter Schools Accepting Applications Learn More at EVCSBUFFALO.ORG and our Virtual Open House at bit.ly/EVCSOH or scan: Small School Community • Arts Integration Emphasis on Social Responsibility After School Care Available for Ages 5 and Up Services for Students with Special Education Needs and Limited English Proficiency EVCS Days Park 40 Days Park, Buffalo, NY 14201 EVCS Hertel 665 Hertel Ave., Buffalo, NY 14207 55 CrossPoint Parkway, Suite 106 Getzville, NY (off N. French between I-990 & Millersport) www.MonacosViolinShop.com ViolinMonaco’sShop & Music Centre 688-8600 ~ Since 1973 ~ ~~ViolinsViolas~Cellos~Basses~Rentals~Repairs~Sales
8) Ask questions. I know, as a parent, it feels like all we do is answer questions. So start asking. “How did that bird know I just put birdseed out?” or “Why are there police officers guarding the construction workers?” Questions are the foundation of learning.
September 2022 WNY Family 11 trains right now find books about trains, build a train, draw a train, watch trains at the train station. Allow your child to guide their learning through their passions.
How to Survive the N T A R Y
E L E M E
Homework Hassles
Media Overload
So explain the difference between tattling and telling. Tattling is when someone breaks a rule (or when there is no rule), and breaking the rule is rela tively harmless. Telling, on the other hand, is when another child does some thing that could cause harm to oneself or others. Make a rule that you don’t want to hear any tattling, but that telling is okay and even necessary. Lying Every child tells a lie at some point or another. Even most adults are guilty of occasional white lies. Still, teaching kids to be honest is vital to developing into trustworthy adults and their ability to form intimate relationships.
School Years: 8 Parenting Tips for Ages 6 to 10
So have your child choose a small number of simple chores. As your kid grows, increase the amount or level of difficulty. To gain cooperation, set a regular schedule for each task, and of fer daily or weekly rewards or an allow ance.
ommends kids be limited to no more than two hours of entertainment-based screen time per day. To gain cooperation, invite your child to help you establish media use rules. List the various forms of media used by your child, including TV, video games, computer, tablet, and cell phone.
Chore Wars
This is a routine challenge for many parents. So hold a meeting with your child to discuss homework. Explain you’re going to set some rules. Then give your kid a couple of choices to in crease cooperation. One option might be 30 minutes of free time or media time after school before having to be gin homework. Another option could be to do chores and free time right after school. Then homework will start imme diately following dinner. But avoid sav ing homework until late in the evening. Also, find a distraction-free location in your home that is always for home work. Then require your kids to put their phones on the charger, away from the area when doing homework.
Talk to your child about how lying diminishes yours and others’ ability to trust your child. Explain how it can im pact your child’s relationships. Then, if you catch your kid in a lie, explain how his or her future freedom and privileges are dependent on how well you can trust yourAlso,child. to build your kid’s trust in you, practice being open and nonjudg mental. This will go a long way toward your child’s openness with you.
As your child grows, so should his or her responsibilities. In the elementary years, kids can pick up their rooms, set and clear off the table, sort their laun dry, fold laundry, put away their clean clothes, bring in the mail, rake leaves, and dust, among other simple tasks.
Does your child tattle every time a sibling or playmate breaks a rule? Kids tattle for many reasons. Sometimes they don’t understand the difference between tattling and telling about something im portant. Other times, kids are looking to get another into trouble.
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You survived potty train ing and the terrible twos; you’ve reclaimed your bed, and your child is now somewhat selfsufficient. Life ought to be smooth sail ing from here on, right? Perhaps. That is if you don’t take into account the el ementary school-age battles that lie just ahead. But don’t sweat it. The following tips will help you ride out this adven turesome yet trying stage.
Establish a total number of hours per day your kid can use media. Then ask your child to help you break down how much of that time can be spent on specific forms. Also, discuss the measures you’ll take if rules are violated.
Name-Calling & Teasing
With the overwhelming variety of media available to kids, it’s hard to know where to draw the line. But the American Academy of Pediatrics rec
Tattletales
Sometimes when kids call each oth er names, they’re just playing. If they’re going back and forth at each other, both laughing and having a good time, it — by Kimberly Blaker
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When your child is defiant, remember the following. Con sistency is crucial to being effective. Also, don’t argue. If your child tries to debate you after you’ve already stated the issue and laid down the consequence, calmly say you’ve already made up your mind, and you’re done discussing it. Then leave the room, so you’re not tempted to argue or give in to badgering. www.raffandfriends.com
The Birds & The Bees
The question of where babies come from, and discussions of puberty, can leave even the most open-minded parents fum bling. So, prepare in advance for the inevitable discussions so you can answer questions in the best way possible and without showing discomfort. Your comfort is essential to making your kid feel comfortable and will lead to more openness from your child as he or she matures.
September 2022 WNY Family 13 probably isn’t a big deal. As long as it’s play, balanced, and no one’s feelings are getting hurt, you can let it go.
But if it’s one-sided, mean-spirited, or the child on the re ceiving end seems angry, upset, scared, or hurt by it, it’s usually best to intervene. First, try to empower the teased child, and encourage him or her to tell the other to stop. If necessary, take a more direct approach, and make clear to the child doing the teasing how hurtful the behavior is and that it isn’t acceptable.
As kids grow, they become more independent — and with independence comes defiance. To deal with defiance, lay out the rules ahead of time, so you and your kids know the conse quences.
To get started, during the early elementary years, read Where Did I Come From? or another age-appropriate book to your child. This takes the guesswork out of what to say and how to sayInit.the later elementary years, discuss puberty and sex more completely. Many kids reach puberty by the age of 10. So make sure your pre-teen is fully prepared for the changes that’ll take place. By late elementary, some kids are already talking about it among each other and are full of misinformation. So having this discussion is crucial to ensure your child is accurately informed about sex. Defiance
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1) What do you see as an area of strength for my child? This question focuses the discus sion on your child specifically while still allowing the teacher to evaluate all subjects. Sometimes parents find this answer surprising, as kids can show dif ferent abilities in the classroom than at home. Fostering a love of learning can help bring these hidden strengths out in the home as well as at school.
While every school may have dif ferent policies in place, we are all deal ing with the pandemic in a learning envi ronment. Understanding how your child is following the guidelines is important to maximize his or her learning time. This also gives you a chance to en sure you fully understand and are com fortable with the guidelines. It is impor tant to note that a conference is not an invitation to argue about the guidelines.
2) If you could pick one area to focus on improving for my child, what would it be?
As a parent, I get excited about that fifteen-minute slot allotted to have a oneon-one with my child’s teacher. I look forward to hearing about progress, strug gles, and strengths through more than what I see in homework worksheets.
Sometimes it is difficult to think about all areas of learning at once. Fo cusing on one area at a time for improve ment helps define the priorities within the classroom. It also gives something concrete to work on at home. It is great to update this question with the teacher throughout the year. Sending an email or utilizing school communication apps is a great way to check in regarding progress, as well as allowing the teacher to shift the focus to something new as your child improves.
Sometimes a conference goes great, but sometimes we walk away thinking we just heard a script that is being repeated for everyStartingstudent.the conference with spe cific questions allows you to focus on what is important regarding your child. Areas of study covered or assessment scores can be done quickly, and even in other communications. Addressing the following questions will give both you and the teacher a better understanding of the child throughout the year.
3) Is my child following the school guidelines that may still be in force regarding the pandemic?
— by Rebecca Hastings
Likely, the teacher has little say in what the guidelines are; those discussions are between you and the administration. It is helpful, however, to make sure you and your child understand and follow the daily guidelines in the classroom so his or her learning is uninterrupted and as successful as possible.
4) How does my child contribute to the class atmosphere?
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Fall conferences are around the corner, and with the ups and downs of school during the pandemic, it is especially important to make the most of this time to connect with the teacher.
This may seem like an unusual question, but it can provide a lot of infor mation. Different personalities shine in different ways independently, but as you blend twenty of those unique personali ties new things can be revealed. This will give you an idea of how much your child may contribute to class discussions or how they may be a great helper for another student. Maybe you’ll discover that your child is great at fol lowing directions and modeling good behavior for other students, or even that they provide a funny idea to give every one aAskinglaugh. this question gives insight into how your child’s personality comes through in an academic environment. This is especially useful to understand as kids approach middle school and issues like popularity can impact their learning experience.
Productive Questions to Ask Teachers at Conferences
5) Who does my child work well with? Allowing the teacher to look at the social element of learning is just as im
Here are seven questions you can ask to help you get the most from those minutes with the teacher.
Vanderbiltenvironment.University has shown that increasing social skills result in stu dents who are more responsive to aca demic learning.
portant as academics. This can be a good barometer of how a child is doing social ly as well as give parents insight.
Rebecca Hastings traded the grades 1-6 classroom for writing when she stayed home with her three children. Passion ate about authenticity, faith, and family, you can find her at RebeccaHastings.net and on Amazon. In real life, she can often be found typing words, driving her kids places, or wherever there is chocolate.
7) Do you have any concerns about my child? This question can never be asked too much. Sometimes we are so busy getting through the list of assessments, reading levels, and academic achievements that we can miss the bigger picture. Giving teachers and parents both the pause to consider any areas of con cern emotionally, socially, or develop mentally addresses the whole child in his or her learning environment.
Beyond following any existing cur rent pandemic guidelines, asking spe cifically about the mental health compo nents of your child is essential. Frequent, open discussions about his or her mental health during the pandemic and overall has never been more important. Talk about any emotional struggles you see and ask the teacher what they see in the classroom. This is a great opportunity to discuss resources like school counseling or lunch groups that may help your child process complex feelings.
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6) How is my child handling the emotional elements of the pandemic?
Understanding whom your child can work well with at school, compared to the “fun friend” who may be a distrac tion when it comes to school work, will help everyone create a more successful learning
Did you know some of our most important and interesting inventions were made by mistake? It’s true. In 1928, Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin when he left some unwashed petri dishes in his laboratory while go ing on vacation. When he returned, he noticed por tions of the staph bacteria on the cultures had died and discovered the fungus growing there to be of the genus penicillium. He re ported, “One sometimes finds what one is not look ing for.”
Teach Them It’s Okay to Make Mistakes Your Kids to Learn?
Jan Pierce, M.Ed., is a retired teacher and a writer. She is the author of “Home grown Readers and Homegrown Family Fun.” Find Jan at www.janpierce.net
It’s normal for parents to want to protect their children from failure. It’s also normal to want them to achieve and win and do their best. But here’s the awful truth. We don’t learn anything new without making mis takes. I’ll say it again. Making mistakes is a crucial step in learning. If we’re fearful of making mistakes, learning comes to a screechingRememberhalt. when your child was learning to walk? There were certainly a few bumps and boo boos involved with that learning process. But babies have a fierce willingness to risk a fall or two for the great reward of mastering balance and motion.Unfortunately as we grow older, we begin to measure our successes and fail ures in different ways. We receive feed back from others or compare ourselves to them. It’s a bit harder to risk looking foolish and a paper marked in a lot of red can tempt us to quit trying. But mistakes offer an opportunity to learn. What did we understand? What do we still need to learn?For some children this willingness to be wrong is more difficult than for others. Parents can encourage strong learning skills with ongoing reminders that it’s part of learning to make mis takes. Once a mistake is made, however, the analysis of what went wrong is a cru cial part of learning how to do it right.
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The best way to benefit from mis takes is to analyze what was done right and what wasn’t. Asking questions is a good way to get that information. “Why do you think so?” or “You’re right about that part, but let’s look at…” This sort of exchange brings the learner into a dia logue in which all participants are on a journey to understanding. Be sure to share your own mistakes: how they happened, what you learned and your attitude toward them. Making mistakes gives us concrete evidence about what we know and don’t know.
Swiss engineer Georges de Mestral cre ated Velcro® after study ing the tiny hooks at the end of burrs stuck to his dog’s fur. Silly Putty was created during WWII when engineer James Wright was trying to invent an inexpensive alterna tive to synthetic rubber. And, best of all, chocolate chip cookies were made by mistake when the chef at the Toll House Inn ran out of baking chocolate and used chopped up semi-sweet chocolate, thinking it would permeate the dough. What a delicious mistake!
SomeMistakesFamous
— by Jan Pierce
“Anyone who has —mistakemadeneverahasnevertriedanythingnew.”AlbertEinstein
Some Benefits of Making Mistakes
Want
It’s beneficial to see where our un derstanding broke down. We may have gotten part of a problem right, but failed to understand one bit of information to achieve total suc cess. We see what we need to learn. We know we aren’t perfect. And, if we look around, we see that other learners aren’t perfect, either. Learning is a cycle of trying and failing until we succeed. We learn to persevere. Most skills worth learning take time, effort and perseverance. Seeing mis takes as part of the journey is invaluable in develop ing a strong work ethic. We learn to let the stress go. Once we accept that mistakes are not hor rible blots on our record, we relax and are free to make the decision to keep working until we achieve. Parents, you can help your kids accept the truth that mistakes are a natural part of the learning pro cess in every facet of life. Your children will be happier and more resilient as they understand the role mistakes make in pointing them in the right direction as they learn.
DEAR – by Peggy Gisler and Marge Eberts
As far as physical education goes, three-fourths of our states require physi cal education in elementary through high school. But you need to realize that more than half of the states allow recess, dance classes, and other activities to be substituted for this requirement. And most states do not mandate the amount of time that should be devoted to physi cal education.
Studies do show that children as well as adolescents are more attentive and productive in classrooms after re cess or break time. Furthermore, it is ex tremely counter-productive for teachers to take away recess time for punitive or academic reasons. Recess is a welcome respite to vigorous academic tasks.
Answer: There is an abundance of literature on the need and benefits of children getting sufficient physical ac tivity every day. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous activity every day. And school time devoted to recess can obviously balance the sedentary lives so many children Unfortunately,live. as academics and testing have become more important, re cess time has been reduced and reduced until it is almost non-existent in some schools. Right now, the average amount of time devoted to recess is about 26 minutes per day for elementary school children. While recess time decreases as children age, it has been shown that time allotted to a break from academic sub jects is also beneficial for adolescents. Incidentally, when recess is associated with lunch time, it has been found that it is better to have it precede lunch, as more time is then devoted to lunch and less food is wasted as students are not rushing through lunch to enjoy recess.
Studies are definitely divided on whether recess time should be free play or teacher directed. Each have advan tages. Free play is a great opportunity for children to develop their social skills such as playing fair and sharing. On the other hand, teacher direction can teach children new games and athletic skills. Plus, there is more active participa tion by all students regardless of their skill level. Nevertheless, there is com plete agreement from both sides of this question that there definitely should be teacher supervision on the playground to ensure the safety of all the children.
TEACHER
Helping all parents make their children’s educational experience as successful as possible
Question: I know recess is impor tant for all kids, especially ADHD kids. Is it better for it to be free play or teach er-directed? How long is recess at most elementary schools, and is it the same as physical education time? — For Exer cise
I am looking forward to things getting back to normal this school year with hopefully face-toface instruction all year long. I am wondering how much routine we should have in our family on school days? I don’t want the children orga nized down to the last minute. — For Some Routine Answer: There are definitely no hard and fast rules about how much routine children should have during the school year. Rou tines need to reflect each child’s person ality and needs. For example, a child with ADHD will definitely profit from quite a bit of structure, while one who seems to have a built-in organizer can function with far fewer routines. There is a need to have some rou tines in every home just to make things function smoothly. This should include a morning routine that will have a time for getting up and dressed, eating, and a rou tine for leaving the home with everything needed for school. Most homes also have homework and bedtime routines to give a sameness to every day. No routine should cover every minute of the day. Free time needs to be part of every routine. Basic routines need to be written out and displayed. Pictures can be used for young children. Another thing about following routines is that they need to be flexible. They will change as activi ties are added or eliminated, and when routines are disrupted by outside events, dinner and homework times can be changed.Tohelp some children follow rou tines, especially early morning ones, a kitchen timer can be used to show when a particular activity should begin or end. Re wards can also be used if they are an effec tive tool in encour aging children to followFinally,routines.if a routine doesn’t seem to be work ing, change it. And the older your chil dren get, the more in put you should get from The Benefits of Recess
Question:
What Makes for a Good Routine for School Children
Parents should send questions and com ments to dearteacher@dearteacher.com, and visit the dearteacher.com website to learn more about helping their children succeed in school.
Some teachers hold brief in-class exer cise sessions of about five minutes after children have been working steadily for 45 minutes and find it keeps the children more focused on the next tasks.
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The “Conductor leads” the music class. Such a busy day and so much fun! Before you know it, you will be “off and rolling…” Next stop is Choo-Choo School! Imagine the first day in a new school and winding up on the wrong bus! That is what happens in Puppy Bus (Abrams Books for Young Readers, New York 2022, $17.99), written and illus trated by Drew Brockington. In this story it is not only the wrong bus, but it is the wrong school! While the boy worries about his first day, he doesn’t no tice that the bus he gets on is going to the wrong school. That is, until he gets a bit wet kiss from a dog sitting next to him. Once he gets to school, he realizes they only speak dog there, the les
PICK OF THE LITERATURE
— by Dr. Donna Phillips
Here is comes, ready or not!!! The school bus is out front and the classrooms are ready! Now it is time for students and parents to get ready for the start of the new school year. It seems everyone starts off with the best of intentions. We will be up and ready on time. We will pay close attention and get our homework done on time. We will get along with every one in school and at home. And then reality sets in and it all begins to fall apart. But there is nothing wrong with that. It just might be that we need to revisit those first days and those good intentions. Of course, books are a great way to do this.
Choo-Choo School (Candlewick Press, Somer ville, 2022, $8.99), written by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and illustrated by Mike Ya mada, is a little board book for young children that is full of clever puns for old er readers about being in a school for trains. What can you expect on your first day of train school? The teacher “helps us stay on track,” and asks if we are “ready to train our minds.” While doing math our “wheels are turning,” students move from station to station, and they play to “blow off steam.”
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A Special Section Dedicated To Helping Parents Find Quality Care To Fit Their Family’s Unique Needs
Your
Who hasn’t started a new school year thinking about what they want to be when they grow up? Part of schooling is to help us explore who we are, what we are interested in, and what we want to do with our talents. Not sure what your options are yet? You Can Be ABC’s (Philomel, New York, 2022, $17.99), written by rapper Robert Samuel White II and his son, Robert Samuel White III and illustrated by Robert Paul Jr., has some wonderful ideas and op tions! These aren’t your ev eryday options either. Con sider being a A-Architect, B-Biochemist, C-Computer Software Developer, G-Gastroen terologist, I-Intelligence Officer, M-Mobile App Developer, QQuantum Physicist, or even a U-University President!
tobigorRepeat!Getaudio.com/book/678234/you-can-be-abcs/https://www.penguinrandomhouseSo,thisnewschoolyeardoesn’thavetobelikeothers.ready.Makeaplan.Revisititweekly.Reviseyourplan.Withbooksliketheseatyourlocallibrary,bookstore,online,youcandreambigandplanwell.Keepfocusedonthepicturebutremembertowatchthedetails…youdon’twantwinduponthewrongbus! Dr.
Written with the rapper cadence in mind, it is fun to read and get children involved, too. If you want to get an idea of what it can sound like, visit Donna
Choosing Childcare Guide to
Phillips is an associate professor in the College of Education at Niagara University where her specialty is literacy and children’s literature. She lives on Grand Island, NY and is the mother of two adult children and the grandmother of one. Preschool www.page1preschool.com 1449 Orchard Park Rd. • 674-6979 Moms and Dads of 2 & 3 Year Olds... Page 1 Preschool offers fun filled interactive classes for your little one. Circle Time • Arts & Crafts Music & Movement Playtime • Story Time Classes are taught by qualified staff in bright, clean, & environment.nurturing Roots of MontessoriFuturethePre-KandKindergarten 8970 Main Street, Clarence, NY 716-545-8048 www.rootsofthefuture.comEnrollfor2023-24Ages2.9-6Callforatour!
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sons are strange, and even his teachers are dogs. The lunch tastes like dog food, and the bathroom outdoors is another story. Just when he can’t take much more, it is play time and everything changes. The next morning he happily gets on the bus only to find it is the bus to Kitty School… What is a school and what happens there? It is a place for children, and teachers, and learning. It has hallways, and classes and helpers, but it is even more than that. In This is a School (Candlewick Press, Somerville, 2022, $17.99), written by John Schu and illustrated by Veronica Miller Jamison, we learn that it is a community. It is a place for trying, growing, questioning, connecting, expanding, transforming, working, understanding, and celebrating. It is a place for everyone to come together to explore who we are, who we want to become, and the ways that this community of learners can help us get there.
Do A Self-Check
I have one child that will almost always do what I ask, the first time I ask. I have another that needs repeated reminders to com plete the same task, and another that forgets to do the task, but is hurt by reminders because it makes him feel incompetent. For this child I have to wait for him to remember on his own or ask ques tions that prompt him to remember, such as “Do you have practice after school?” — which causes him to remember that he needs to bring the clothes he would have otherwise forgotten. How does one go about adjusting your parenting style to fit your child?
One Size Doesn’t Fit All
I have one child that needs a hug when he is upset, another finds physical activity is the best way to release stress, and another wants someone to listen while she talks about her feelings.
After you have an idea of your child’s temperament, it is time to do a self-check. What is your temperament and what is your go-to response when you are mad, sad, and frustrated? How does it
As a mom of six, I have to constantly check myself, and my interactions with each child, to make sure I am using the best tech niques to fit the individual child.
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As a parent, you are the expert on your child. Take note of how they respond to different kinds of discipline, rewards, and en couragement. What types of situations are the most troubling for them and where do they excel the most? Read articles and books on parenting and discipline styles, talk to their teachers and other caregivers, and ask your child about their feelings. This will help you understand their temperament and give you an idea of what might work best when it comes to discipline and helping them face challenging situations. How kids handle stress can be a great indicator of the best way to judge what type of re sponse they need most from you.
Do Your Research
ne size does not fit all when it comes to raising kids. Any mom of more than one child knows that every child is different and will react differently when faced with the same situation. They are also likely to react differently to the same parenting techniques. While it is important to be fair to all children, adjusting parenting style to fit the needs of each child can help with their development and long term behavior.
Understanding Your Child’s Temperament — by Sarah Lyons
None of these responses to stress are wrong, they are just dif ferent. As a parent we have the opportunity to help our kids work through things in the way they feel most comfortable.
This process will take some time to figure out and will involve some trial and error. The effort will be worth it when communica tion is improved between you and your child. Teamwork
September 2022 WNY Family 21 line up with the best way to handle those same feelings when they arise in each of your children?
Sarah Lyons’ work has been published in Pregnancy and Newborn Magazine KC Parent, Austin Family, Creative Child and over 160 other parenting publications.
THE SECRET GARDEN: Spring Version a 90 minute musical appropriate for the whole family based on the novel by Frances Hodgson Burnett Shea’s Smith Theatre 654 Main BuffaloStreet, October 14-30, 2022 STUDENT TICKETS $15, GENERAL ADMISSION $35 WNY Family Magazine just launched an Instagram page! You’ll find a variety of info, tips, resources & fun stuff that is different from our Facebook and Twitter feeds. Follow Us Today!
If your child is mature enough, discuss with them what they respond well to and what may be making situations worse. Try to be honest and flexible when coming up with techniques that work best for your Adjustingfamily.yourparenting style to the child does take some ad ditional work, especially in the beginning, but it can help build a supportive and healthy relationship between you and your child. It will also benefit you as they develop skills they need to better handle situations they may face.
What are some common conflicts or situations that your child faces and how can you change your response to make the discus sion more productive?
www.secondgenerationtheatre.com/tickets/
Once you have some techniques that work in place, you must make sure others are on the same page. Talk to your child’s other parents, teachers, and caregivers and find out what is working (or not working) for them when it comes to handling challenging situ ations with your child. Share what has been successful for you and try to create consistency whenever possible.
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The laundry load can be lightened if everyone pitches in. “My husband and I have a deal worked out. I do all the washing, drying, and folding. He then puts everything away,” says Katlyn Pur kapile. Kids can also get involved. “My best tip is to teach your children how to do laundry as early as possible”, says mom Jessi Cole. “They put most of their clothes away by themselves and they fold and switch loads.” When family members share the laundry responsibili ties, it goes quickly and doesn’t fall on one person’s shoulders. To Sort Sorting the laundry can be half the battle. Place baskets for whites, darks, and colors in a central location and have family members sort their clothes as they take them off each day. When one of the baskets is full, simply dump it into the washer without having to take the time to sort through dirty clothes.
Some families have eliminated the sorting step altogether. Sara Sin ani, mother of three, skips sorting her children’s clothes. “I wash all my kids’ clothes without sorting. Each kid has his own basket so that way I can keep their socks separated.” Mom of three, Angela Leever, uses the same method. “Every kid has a hamper in their own room and I wash everyone’s things separately. It goes from their own basket to the wash er, dryer, and I put it right back in their room.” Sorting the laundry into piles based on color, then back into stacks for each family member takes a lot of time. By implementing this method, families can eliminate the frustration of making sure things are returned to the proper owner and shorten the time they spend handling the laundry.
Go Commercial Michelle Hupp has a tip for when laundry gets really behind. “If I’m really overwhelmed, I go to the laundromat and do it all at once.” Take advantage of the commercial-sized washers and dryers and use several machines at the same time. You will be able to do multiple loads in the time it would take to do one at home.
One day after school, I hand ed my son a heaping basket of clothes to put away and he said, “I just put laundry away yes terday! Why is there always more?” I chuckled to myself as he reluctantly car ried the basket to his room. How many times have I asked the same silly ques tion as I faced the pile of dirty clothes? I can’t make it disappear, but here are some tips to tame “Mount Laundry.”
Assign Laundry Days
Sock Solution Where do all the socks go? Sher rie Hoffman, mother of two, may have found a solution “I put a name on a zip pered lingerie bag and each person puts his or her socks in that until I do a load. I only have to match the pairs that are in the sack when the laundry is done.”
Wear It Again While it may sound simple, only wash clothing when it is dirty. Reuse towels and wear pajamas more than once. Jeans and sweaters can often be worn several times before washing. These small changes can make a significant dif ference in the size of the laundry pile.
The challenge of taming “Mount Laundry” is a problem that will never go away, but with these tips you should be able to stay on top of it rather than bur ied under it. Sarah Lyons is a mother of six who knows a lot about taming “Mount Laundry.”
One Parent’s Experience: — by Sarah Lyons
Or Not to Sort
Get A Head Start Put a load in the washer before bed and when you wake in the morning, move the clothes to the dryer and start another load. When the dryer is done, fold and put away laundry and move clothes from washer to dryer. The faster it moves, the sooner it will be done.
Make It A Family Affair
Some families prefer to set aside one to two laundry days a week like Julie Keller, mom of three. Keller says “I do three big loads and fold them as soon as they are dry. I try to get it done on Friday so my weekend isn’t spent in the laundry room.” Larger families may benefit from doing a load or two every day, like mother of seven, Krystal Laws. “Two loads of laundry each day is much easier than 10 in one day.” The key is to choose which method works for your family and stick to it. Having a set laun dry day (or days) frees up time for other chores or more enjoyable pastimes.
TamingLaundryMount
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International Underground Railroad Month is being cel ebrated worldwide in Sep tember and Tubman’s home is shining a light on the famed abolitionist, Civil War spy, suffragist, and humani tarian’s inspirational life and legacy.Auburn has had a sig nificant role in American and New York history, boasts three neighboring Finger Lakes, and the nearby Erie Canal Heritage Park. It is also home to the state’s only Bass Pro Store (dogs welcome).
Once free, she became an operator of the Underground Railroad — a secret network of people, places and routes that provided shelter and assistance to escap ing slaves. She courageously returned to Maryland at least 13 times over the course of a decade to rescue her parents, brothers, family members, and friends, guiding them safely to freedom. By 1860, Tubman had earned the nickname “Moses” for liberating so many enslaved people at great risk to her own life. With the help of William Seward, U.S. Senator, Governor, and finally Sec retary of State, Tubman acquired the South Street property down the street from Seward’s impressive mansion. His home also became a stop on the Under groundTodayRailroad.herhome and the white frame house that she operated as the Home for Aged and Indigent Negroes are part of the national park. Her home is slated for renovation, but visitors are allowed to briefly step inside the nursing home building.First stop on your Auburn visit should be the impressive Equal Rights Heritage Center, next door to the Seward Home. This is a Visitors Center extraor dinaire. Part welcome center and part exhibit hall, there are maps, interactive displays and a state-of-the-art exhibition titled “Seeing Equal Rights in NYS.” There is also a Taste NY Market with lo cal foods for sale. Check out the Tubman
BicentennialTubman’s — by Deborah Williams
However, his story about five-yearold Tubman getting a whipping after grabbing a cube of sugar in her owner’s house will always stay with me. She car ried the scars of those days for life, as well as seizures, pain, and other health complications from a traumatic child hood head injury. She escaped slavery alone, in the fall of 1849, when she was 27 years old. A runaway advertisement at the time, offer ing $100 for her capture, described her as “of chestnut color, fine looking and about five feet high.”
FAMILY TRAVEL
Abillboard welcomes visitors to Harriet Tubman’s home in Auburn. The banners along South Street where she lived for more than 50 years herald the bicentennial of Tubman’s birth in 1822. This Central New York city in the Finger Lakes region likes to call itself Tubman’s “chosen home.”
Born Araminta Ross on Maryland’s Eastern shore, Tubman was the middle child of nine enslaved siblings. She went on to become one of the most lauded and revered figures in American history. She is also the only woman to have two na tional parks dedicated in her honor — in Maryland and Auburn.Inthe National Park Service Visitors Center on the Auburn property where Tubman lived for more than 50 years until her death in 1913, Rev. Paul Gordan Carter, an animated speak er, regaled visitors with the story of her remarkable life. On the wall behind Carter was a long timeline of her life and events that led to the abolition of slavery.
Auburn Celebrates
“Here we try to en lighten people about her free life,” explained Carter who has been telling Tub man’s story here for 32 years. “During the Civil War she became the first woman to lead an armed military raid in June 1863. She was also a Union scout, spy, nurse, and sold pie and root beer to Union soldiers.”
Harriet
26 WNY Family September 2022
Everything is original to the property — a rarity in historic houses. Much of the furniture in the front parlor was originally in Seward’s formal parlor in his Washington D.C. home in the 1860s. Lincoln, a close friend, sat on the gold leaf chairs during his frequent visits to Seward’s home to escape the chaos of the White House during the Civil War. Seward was famous for his elaborate dinner parties and the dining room is ready for another dinner, complete with a sampling of the family’s silver and china.
After learning about the Underground Railroad, children are invited to pledge to do their part to help preserve the history of the Underground Rail road and become a Junior Ranger. Seward traveled throughout the world on ex tended trips, but it was to his Auburn home that the city’s most famous citizen was drawn “by an irresistible spell.” His home in the city’s historic district is one of the most remarkable in the state. Seward, who lost the presidential nomination to Abraham Lincoln but went on to be secretary of state for eight years under Lincoln and President Andrew Johnson, lived in the house for nearly half a century.What makes the Seward House so special is that it was enjoyed by four generations of the fam ily until 1951. It was then given to a foundation that operates the house today. The Sewards kept everything and the house is large enough to dis play many of the family’s possessions.
September 2022 WNY Family 27 statue in the Childrencourtyard.canpick up a Kids Cayuga Lake Puzzle Book and a Junior Ranger Activity Book.
continued on page 28
A popular activity during the summer and early fall season is a cruise on one of the boats operated by Mid-Lakes Naviga tion Co. There are sightseeing, lunch, dinner, brunch, and vari ous special event cruises.
The lake is considered the bluest of the Finger Lakes and according to Indian legend the sky spirits used to lean out of their home to admire themselves in the lake’s reflection when the heavens were nearer to the earth than they are now. The lake spirits fell in love with the sky spirits and absorbed the color of the sky spirit’s robes into the water, thus giving the lake its beautiful deep blue color.
The house has an impressive collection of souvenirs from Seward’s extensive career and world travels. Pieces of blood stained sheets from Seward’s bed are framed and on display.
On the night that Lincoln was assassinated, Seward himself was attacked in his bed and almost killed. Seward amassed one of the most extensive Civil War libraries in the nation and many of the books are autographed by their authors.
Up on the second floor we were surrounded by 130 pho tos in the Diplomate Gallery — heads of state from around the world — most of whom Seward had personally met in his trav els.
28 WNY Family September 2022
Driving east on the New York Thruway to Auburn, there is a must see stop between exits 41 and 40 — the Port Bryon Old Erie Canal Heritage Park. It is a unique joint venture between the Canal Society of New York, which owns the preserved his toric properties, and the New York State Thruway Authority and Canal Corporation, which owns the Erie Canal lock. It is free, offers rest rooms, gift shop, peppermint candies for children, and dog biscuits for your dog. The park is the only historic site in the nation with direct access from an interstate highway. It is also accessible from Rt. 31 in nearby Port Bryon. It is very dog friendly. From the early days of the canalside saloon and boarding house, Maud, a large friendly looking dog, presided over the property. She was even credited with saving her owner’s life. In the Visitor’s Center, follow the paw prints to the lock, historic buildings, and exhibits. Sam, my well-traveled
FAMILY TRAVEL continued...
Skaneateles Lake and village is just seven miles east of Auburn and boasts a William Seward connection. He called the 16-mile-long lake “the most beautiful body of water in the world” after returning from a trip around the world.
Seward is most famous for negotiating the purchase of Alaska from Russia at a price of $7.2 million or two cents an acre. At the time skeptics called it Seward’s Folly or Seward’s Icebox. Of course, it quickly proved to be one of the best deals in American history. Seward and Tubman are both buried in Fort Hill Cemetery, just a few blocks from their homes. Tubman’s headstone is en graved “Servant of God, Well Done.”
Non-Stop Musical Entertainment Over 200 Craft Exhibitors • Antique Show & Sale Bluegrass Festival Saturday 10am-5pm Street Entertainers Museum & Historical Society Open Great Harvest Food Fireman’s Chicken BBQ Sunday at the Fire Hall, 11am til’ Gone Free Festival Admission WYOMINGCOUNTY appleumpkin@hotmail.comwww.appleumpkin.com•(585) 495-9940 September 24th & 25th, 2022 ~ 10am-5pm The “Gaslight Village” Wyoming, NY 35th Annual General parking $5/car at Wyoming Fire Hall (Maple St. across from festival grounds) Handicap parking $5/car & Free Shuttle available at Wyoming Central School 3870 N. Ridge Rd., Lockport, NY Follow us on Facebook! Oct.areHayPROGRAMSKIDS’DOGHAYWEEKENDRIDES,DEMOS,Rideshaunted1–31FALL FEST SEPT. 17 – OCT. 31 CORN MAZE OPEN DAILY PETTING ZOO, PUMPKINS, GOURDS, APPLES, CIDER, COTTON CANDY, SLUSHIES, PRODUCE, COSTUMED CHARACTERS For weekend schedule – coulterfarmsllc.com
Travel Tip of the Month: For more information on Au burn and Cayuga County visit tourcayuga.com or call 800-4999615 or 315-255-1658. For Skaneateles visit Skaneateles.com or call 315-685-0552. For Port Bryon Old Erie Canal Heritage Park call 315-776-4601 or visit newyorkcanals.org
The Auburn area boasts a wealth of firsts and fun facts. Auburn Correctional Facility was built in 1816 and is the old est continuously operating maximum security prison in North America. Stickley furniture has long been highly prized and is still made in nearby Manlius. Gustav Stickley, company found er, ran the prison woodworking shop. Not fun, but the first electric chair and first electrocution was completed at Auburn.
The first commercially successful system of sound film was invented in 1923 in the Case Research Lab here. The rights were later sold to Fox Studios.
September 2022 WNY Family 29 yellow Lab, gives the park five paws because of plentiful treats and pets.
Deborah Williams lives in Holland, NY and is a veteran travel writer whose work has appeared in national and international publications. She is the recipient of the Society of American Travel Writers’ Lowell Thomas Gold Travel Writing Award.
Abner Doubleday, baseball’s legendary founder, spent much of his life in Auburn. Auburn’s minor league baseball team, the Auburn Doubledays, is named in his honor.
The old Enlarged Erie Canal Lock 52 completed in 1853 adjacent to the east bound lane of the Thruway — one of the most intact and well-preserved 19th-century canal locks in the state — is a focal attraction of the park. It was constructed with twin chambers for two-way traf fic. Here visitors can walk through the lock. Follow the path from the lock to the Erie House complex of three restored buildings including the Erie House, an 1895 saloon and boarding house built by Italian immigrant brothers Pietro and Salvatore Van Detto; the 1896 Mule Barn; and the 1896 Blacksmith Shop. Step into the Erie House where a friendly volunteer was eager to answer questions and tell the story of the early days. Check out the rates: 5 cents to sleep sitting up; 10 cents to sleep on the floor; 20 cents to sleep in bed (likely three to a bed); 2530 cents to sleep in a single bed by yourself. The original bar has been restored but alas no drinks are available.
DetectiveMom
The date and time from the screenshot in Step 1 should help you narrow down when this has been happening. The stay at home orders should help as well. The information in the screenshot indicates precisely when the search or searches oc curred. You will need to think about what was going on in your home when this was taking place. Was this a typical Tuesday evening with just your immediate family, or was this a Saturday afternoon when you had a houseful of people? The where and when are critical to figuring out the last piece of the puzzle: The Who. The Who You have determined what was searched, how often it was searched, and when these searches occurred. Learning who did the searching can be the tricki est part. You assume that a family mem ber is at fault. You probably already have a certain someone in mind. Don’t jump the gun, though. Remember your where else around. I believe it is less embarrass ing for everyone if one parent handles the conversation, but that decision is entirely up toTheyou.discussion should be an honest one. It can go a million different directions based on their age and maturity. Explain what you found and that you want to be sure they understand what they saw. Ask them why they were searching for those terms. There may be a logical, acceptable reason that you are not aware of. Remember, children are curious. It is in their nature and there is nothing wrong with that. How many of you remember looking up explicit words in the dictionary long before the invention of the internet? Kids are often searching for things they heard in a song, reading in the chat of a video game, or seeing in a meme on social media. Your goal of the discussion should be to answer any questions they may have and encourage them to come to you first. It will probably be uncomfortable for both of you. There is a ton of information on
30 WNY Family September 2022 You discover some one has somethingsearchedinap propriate on one of the devices in your house. This is an all too common scenario that plays out in households across the country. On the surface, this seems like Parenting 101, right? Find the culprit and imple ment an appropriate level of discipline. Unfortunately, it is seldom that simple. The “who did it” and “what did they search” makes this a much more complex issue to address. Put on your detective hat! We’re going to take the classic board game “Clue” approach to help you deter mine precisely what happened and how you can address it. You need to figure out three main items with Clue: Who, Where, and What. Let’s start with the What. The What Take a breath. You may be overre acting. What you saw in the search his tory may be a perfectly innocent query, depending on what exactly was searched. The “What” is the easiest of the three main pieces you need to determine. The first thing you should do is take a picture or screenshot of what term or terms were searched and when this occurred. Screen captures of the original issue will ensure you don’t accidentally erase the evidence as you investigate the issue. Be sure to scroll through the history a bit to see if this was a one time search or something moreOncepervasive.thatis complete, use Google to search the exact same phrase for yourself. Review the links that appear in the search results. Make sure to click “Images” at the top under the search bar to see the term’s pictures. It is essential to know what links and images your child may have been ex posed to. Knowing what they may have viewed will be important when you dis cuss what happened with them. You will get the most accurate results by doing this from the same device that you initially discovered ifusesearch.questionabletheYoucanyoursmartphonethatisnotaneasily ac cessible option. The collection of search results is your “What.” The Where (and When)
RAISING DIGITAL KIDS — by Mike Daugherty and when detective. If the search occurred on a shared device like an iPad, outside individu als could be involved. I’ve spoken with sev eral parents who dis covered it was a friend over for a play date or an older relative who made a poor choice. In some cases, this will be a slam dunk, and you will have no doubt about who you need to speak with. In others, though, the waters can be a bit muddy. The best advice I can give is to be thoughtful during this process. Don’t jump to conclusions.
Honest Conversations Congratulations detective! It was Col. Mustard in the kitchen with the lead pipe. Well, sort of. It was your middle child searching “naked girls” on a Kindle during a sleepover with his friends. The best thing to do is to choose a time to have a conversation with your child about what you found. Find the time when you can sit with them in a quiet place without anyone
Mike Daugherty is a husband, father of three young children, author, speaker, Google In novator, and possible Starbucks addict. He is a certified educational technology leader who has served in a variety of roles through his twenty-year career in public education. Cur rently, Mike is the Director of Technology for the Chagrin Falls Exempted Village School dis trict in Northeast Ohio. As an IT director he has developed creative, well thought out solutions that positively impact teaching and learning.
&READINGWRITINGTUTORING buffalo.edu/clari645-2470 Fall, Spring & Summer Tutoring Providing literacy help to WNY since 1963
Stay Vigilant Like all great detectives, your work is never done. It is crucial to monitor their digital footprints on a regular basis. Check their history more often. You can do this by pressing control+H in most browsers. If you are not sure, you can Google search “browser history” with the device’s name like “browser history iPhone.” Children who have been caught looking up inap propriate content tend to learn from their mistakes. Some kids will seek parental advice while others will learn the art of clearing web browsing history to cover their Theretracks.are solutions you can inves tigate that can monitor internet traffic in your home for unwanted content. Qus todio, Circle by Disney, OpenDNS, and Eero all offer various options that parents can use to limit the Internet content avail able to children’s devices. Be cautious when filtering the internet, though. I do not always think this is the best approach. I believe it is better to teach kids how to behave than to attempt to block out all the bad stuff. Regardless of how you ap proach this, we’re all in the same boat as parents. We are trying to do the best things for our kids.
September 2022 WNY Family 31 line about how to have the “talk” or simi lar talks online. You may want to consult a few of those before the conversation as well.We focused on a child who searched for sexually explicit content in this ex ample. Obviously, there are other search terms that can be concerning. Parents should approach the situation the same way, regardless of what was searched. Have an honest conversation with your child. Let the conversation guide your next steps. If you are not sure how to approach a particular subject (suicidal ideation for example), do some internet research prior to discussing it with your child.
32 WNY Family September 2022
Richard De Fino, a freelance writer by night, first became a father at age 34. After losing his first-born son Louis, at birth, he was determined to keep his memory alive the best way he knew how; through words. Now, with the birth of his daughter Violet, he plans on continuing to share his fatherhood journey each month with WNY Family readers.
Last month I wrote about An drea traveling to Florida and how it was her first time be ing away from Violet. I didn’t mention though, that before she left, Andrea sug gested that when she returned home, that I should also take some time away, and how it would be a good idea for me to unwind. And that’s exactly what I did. The weekend following her return home, I took a solo trip down to New Jersey to visit my family, which would also mark my first time away from Violet. I really don’t like saying those words out loud, “being away from Violet,” or even typing them. It makes it seem like she is a nuisance, and I can’t stand the idea of parenting her, which of course is not true. But a little bit of alone time for all parents, whether it’s an hour or a weekend, is necessary in my opinion. It’s good to recharge. So, despite how this column reads this month, I really do enjoy my time with my daughter. Maybe I could do without all the ear-piercing screaming, shaking the end table lamp, and pulling the cat’s tail, though. I’ve discovered quickly that being a 37-year-old father to a toddler while working a full-time job and a part-time freelancing job is exhausting. I’m still happy that we waited till we were older to have children, but lately these days, I’ve been feeling worn out and over whelmed. Of course, I have my wife to balance me out and I do the same for her, but some days, this parenting thing seemsFromimpossible.themoment we wake up until we call it a night, it’s full speed ahead, non-stop. As soon I finish putting away the groceries that Andrea just dragged across the driveway and into the kitch en, I’m taking them right back out of the fridge to start cooking dinner. And when I finish cooking, Andrea is already clear ing the table, but not before I start clean ing Violet up. Then the kitchen cleaning begins, followed by the living room, bathtub, and then it’s time to wake up and start it all over again. Life does seem redundant these days, so I make sure to cherish those brief moments in between the chaos. Those two to three minutes of downtime from when cooking ends and cleanup begins are magical. And when Violet reads a book to herself for ten minutes before we brush her teeth — that feels like a vacation. I decided to drive to Jersey, not being the biggest fan of flying. Andrea argued that the six-hour drive could be easily avoided by flying the sixty min utes instead. Of course, she was right, but I enjoy driving long distances, espe cially when I’m alone. It gives me time to de-stress and think about whatever may have been re cently plaguing my mind. Also, I can play all the music I like, and as loud as I want.I left on a Thursday and returned the following Sun day. Leading up to my depar ture, I tried not to get in my head too much about say ing goodbye to Violet. I wanted to leave early in the morning, this way I could spend a few hours with her and not have to interrupt her afternoon nap. Andrea’s advice to me for not getting too upset about leaving was to not make a big pro duction of it. Just pull the band-aid off, say goodbye, and go. It seemed simple, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to leave without getting a little choked up. When it came time to leave, I tried to make a clean break out the door but failed. Before I could even pick Violet up to give her a hug, I tears started to swell in my eyes. It wasn’t that I feared for her safety or anything, it’s just that my daily routine revolved around her so much, that I felt vulnerable knowing for the next few days she wouldn’t be my main priority. Once I finally said goodbye and was on the road, I felt relieved. When I made it to Jersey I was greeted by my brother and mom, who were holding my beautiful niece, Skylar. I noticed that while I was away, I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I was going to be. A part of me did feel naked away from Violet, but knowing that she was happy and safe, at home with Mom, made me feel okay.
A Weekend Getaway for Dad
©Netflix
Photo Lives Amazon Rating
© Netflix Thirteen
Overall Violence Sex Profanity Alcohol/Drugs A C B
©Warner
Earth is under attack by the alien Krangs, so the Ninja Turtles use their powers to send Casey Jones back in time to prevent the attack in the first place. Trouble only deepens when the Krang kidnap Raphael: now his buddies have to get him back. This movie will please fans of the franchise, particularly the show now running on Netflix. The animation is adequate, the characters goofy, and the violence darker than expected.
Detailed reviews available at www.parentpreviews.com
Having lost a lucky penny, Sam follows Bob the cat into the Land of Luck to find another magical coin for a young orphan. While there, Sam learns lessons about luck and life. The animation in this film is average and many characters are flat but the script is imaginative and carries great messages for audiences of all ages about looking for the benefits that can be gained from adversity flexibility, empathy, and resilience, for instance.
Overall
13: The Musical Netflix
Superman has been kidnapped! Now it’s up to his faithful hound, Krypto, to rescue him from the evil guinea pig Lulu. With the aid of some newly super powered pets, Krypto is off to save the day Blessed with a stellar voice cast, this film is also well animated and quite funny, The plot is simplistic and the themes obvious, but kids will enjoy the action and even adults will have some fun.
Netflix Rating
Ninja Turtles: The Movie
Photo
Alcohol/Drugs PG
©Apple TV+ DC League of Super Pets Theaters Rating Overall Violence Sex Profanity Alcohol/Drugs PG B+ B A A A
Photo ©Amazon Studios
TV-G
Photo Bros Pictures
Violence
Sex Profanity Alcohol/Drugs B B- A A- A
PG 13 A B
Sex Profanity B A A B A
Photo Rise of the Teenage Mutant
Overall Violence
After his parents’ divorce, Evan finds himself relocated from NYC to rural Indiana. Now he must navigate a new social environme nt, make friends, and plan an amazing bar mitzvah. This musical features catchy, well written songs and energetic dance numbers that make for a fun viewing experience The script’s emphasis on acknowledging and fixing mistakes is also good. However, the story feels rushed and characters lack substance
When a boys’ soccer team and their coach decide to celebrate winning a match by exploring a local cave, they have no idea they are going to be trapped by floods and draw the world’s notice. This film dramatizes the complex and courageous rescue attempt. This film is long and too tense for youngsters but older kids can benefit from its messages about persistence, ingenuity, and bravery.
Rating
September 2022 WNY Family 33 Family Movie Options: In Theaters and Streaming Online Luck Apple TV+ Rating Overall Violence Sex Profanity Alcohol/Drugs G A B+ A A A
The College Search and Application Process: — by Bridget M. Larrabee
Some Words of Wisdom for High School Juniors, Seniors & Their Parents
Some general words of wisdom for juniors who may be beginning the process:
1) Start early! Take SATs, SAT IIs, and ACTs by the end of junior year.
3) Do your research: Read the col lege mail that will soon inundate you, visit schools’ websites, establish a rela tionship with your college counselor (or whichever school official can help you with this process).
6) Become discerning: Begin to eliminate schools in which you may no longer have interest.
34 WNY Family September 2022 For many, the return to school also means embarking on (if you’re a junior), or continuing with (if you’re a senior) the often daunting, and seemingly mystifying college search and application pro cess. After working for many years as an admission officer at a private research university where I reviewed and evaluat ed thousands of applications, and as a college counselor at a small independent secondary school where I advised hun dreds of students, I know well the anxiety both parents and students often associate with the entireRegardlessprocess.of where you are in the college search and application process, if you understand the admission pro cess is mostly art and only a bit of science — more qualita tive than quantitative — then you will already have a greater comprehension of the process and how it works. If too much in formation leaves you dizzy, believ ing the world of admission is little more than an unyielding maze, do not lose hope. The good news is that you, the applicant, have a great deal of freedom to plan your own course of ac tion. By understanding the general pro cess of admissions, remaining positive, and taking one step at a time, you will feel a greater sense of confidence, and ultimately,Generallycontrol.speaking, most colleges and universities are interested in five key aspects of the application including: Your high school record/transcript Standardized test scores Essay and/or personal statement Letters of recommendation from teachers Extracurricular activities: anything you devote your time to outside the classroomAlthough variation exists from school to school, most admissions of ficers agree the high school record is the single most important factor in the entire process. Schools are interested in the grades achieved in the classes you have taken, and in any trends such as an improvement in grades from fresh man through senior year, or a change in the level of courses (for example, taking standard classes in the first half of high school, then switching to intermediate or honors classes). It is better to push your self in more difficult courses, perhaps risking a lower grade, than it is to take easy classes and earn all A’s. Students and parents often find this truth difficult to believe, but I promise you, this one stands true — take the tougher class! After reviewing the high school transcript, different schools will place different value on the remaining com ponents. Some will place great credence on letters of recommendation while others may be more or less interested in your stan dardized test scores. As for the essay or personal state ment, most college admis sions professionals concur, a great essay rarely makes up for a weak academic record, and a mediocre essay won’t necessarily consign your ap plication to the deny list. But, a great essay forces the admis sion officer to focus on you for a critical period of time, and often, it generates increased curiosity about your candida cy. It is that quantity of time and quality of curiosity that can make the difference.
5) Schedule campus visits: Attend information sessions, take campus tours, and meet with admissions representatives.
SHAPE THE FUTURE
4) Create a preliminary list of schools in which you may be interested.
2) Self-reflect: Think about who you are and what is important to you. Ask yourself how, where, or if any of this will fit into finding a school that is the right match for you.
7) Continue to focus on your academics. Although the college search and application process quickly takes on a life of its own, do not let your grades slip
September 2022 WNY Family 35 or opt out of challenging classes. Junior year grades and course selection are of greatThoughimportance.junior year can be critical, don’t be overly concerned if you are a senior just beginning to think about this process. Many students complete most, if not all, of the admissions steps during the fall of their senior year. No matter where you are in the overall process, you can and will be successful. I encourage each of you to be honest, sincere and thoughtful throughout the entire college search and application process. If you stick to these core principles, you will remain true to yourself while also pre senting your best self to those who will be reading and evaluating your applica tions. Best wishes!
Bridget Larrabee is a certified second ary school AP English and writing teacher, former admissions officer and college counselor. She currently works from home, assisting students on ways to improve their writing.
Connie Stives described their time with the DSPG. “The support and ‘com munity,’ that DSPG has created for Ja cob and for us as he was growing up and through now has been immeasurable. We have met so many of his friends (and my friends) through DSPG and get support and advice from others, while also hope fully doing the same. In addition, we have gained so much from all of the seminars, monthly meetings, activities, dances, Bi sons’ games, picnics, Step Up Walk, posi tive awareness, etc., that DSPG provides throughout the year. We are so lucky to have such a large community of support through DSPG. It would have been a very difficult (and lonely) 20+ years so far if it were not for DSPG.”
Down Syndrome Parent Group member Jacob Stives is a young man with Down syn drome who just com pleted his second year at InclusiveU at Syracuse University. InclusiveU brings students of all ages with intellectual and developmental dis abilities who want to ex perience college life in a fully inclusive setting to SyracuseJacob’sUniversity.mom,Con nie, saw a Facebook post about a conference at Syracuse University for College Programs for students with special needs. She and Jacob attended, and while there found out about InclusiveU. Jacob toured the campus and was hooked on the idea of going to college, just like his broth ers and typical peers. “What was espe cially appealing to him was that he would live in the dorms with typi cal peers and what was especially appealing to me was that he can take up to 12 credit hours of regular college classes per semester. While he won’t get college credits for the classes he takes because the projects and exams are modified, he is still learning so much by listening, observing, and being completely involved with the typical students. Inclu siveU also has seminars the students sign up for which include topics such as Nutri tion, Positive Choices, Exploring Campus, Life Hacks, Current Events, Sports, and so much more. He signs up for any of the In clusiveU seminars that fit in his schedule around his college classes.”
36 WNY Family September 2022
The DSPG works to raise awareness of Down syndrome while enhancing the lives of people with Down syndrome and their families. The organization’s informa tional and social events provide a broad range of opportunities for families in order to support and encourage each other. For more information visit dspgwny.org or call 716-832-9334.
To find out more about the InclusiveU program at Syracuse University contact: Brianna Shults, bmshults@syr.edu or 315443-4058. The next InclusiveU informa tion session will take place on October 6, 2022. For more details, you can also visit their website at https://taishoffcenter.syr. edu/inclusiveu/Jacobisan inspiration to all individu als with Down syndrome and other disabili ties to strive for independence and to never stop reaching for your goals. Jacob’s family has been a part of the Down Syndrome Par ents Group (DSPG) for over 20 years.
Specia l N eeds Insp ire Th ri Advocate P otential Growth Abilit y Strategies Empower Experiencing College Life in a Fully Inclusive Setting SUCCESS STORY DOES YOUR CHILD HAVE AUTISM? We’re here to help. We are WNY’s largest provider of evidence-based programs and services for autism. Our programs use Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) methodology – identified by hundreds of scientific studies as the most effective method to teach individuals with autism. Our goal is to help your child lead the most independent and fulfilling life possible. Call 716-629-3400 | Visit TheSummitCenter.org Comprehensive services for children and adults with autism. Support for your family. · Evaluations · Early Autism Program (Preschool) · Summit Academy (Ages 3-21) · Respite Programs · Recreation & Leisure Programs · Vocational & Employment Services · Adult Programs · Behavioral Health Clinic · Parent Training
September 2022 WNY Family 37
ents help their teens distinguish between different types of friends, like “the dif ference between a friend you sit next to in class and chit-chat with, and a friend who really understands and values you.”
“Teens who have a positive rela tionship with the adults in their lives,” says professor of education Michael Chambers, “are more likely to have good relationships with their peers.”
38 WNY Family September 2022
Few things are as important to teens’ emotional develop ment and maturity as having friends that they can rely on and confide in. But teens aren’t all equally good at developing close friendships. What can parents do to help them along? Here’s what the experts say: Teach Them About Friendship
The Importance of Adult Relationships
Finally, remember that, ultimately, your teens learn more from seeing what you do than from anything you tell them to do. So, be a role model and show them what a good friend is like.
The first and most important thing parents can do is to teach their teens about friendship. “Parents can and should talk to their teens about what friendships should feel like,” says social worker Heather Monroe, “and help them understand how to be a good friend.” She suggests that parents ask their teens to reflect on the qualities that are impor tant to them in a friendship, since friend ships are more likely to last when teens share similar values. Family therapist Cheryl Somers adds that parents should encourage their teens to reflect on ques tions like: “How do you let people see what you value, what’s important to you, and who you really are?”
Helping Teens Develop Close FriendshipsInvolveThem
Deb Dunham of Grown & Flown, a well-known parenting blog, agrees. She says that parents should teach their teens to be realistic and not expect any one friend to satisfy all their needs: “There are many flavors of friends. Friends for fun times, for confiding in, for chal lenging you and supporting you. Know which is which.” Adults know this is true; teens need to learn this, too, so that they don’t have unrealistic expectations and get disappointed when they meet someone new.
Tanni Haas, Ph.D. is a Professor in the Department of Communication Arts, Sciences, and Disorders at the City Uni versity of New York – Brooklyn College.
HaveExpectationsRealistic Explain to your teens that even if they have common interests with other people, it can take a long time to de velop a really close relationship. They learn that every person they meet and like isn’t necessarily going to be their next BFF. Ms. Somers suggests that par
As clinical psychologist Dr. Justin Coulson puts it, “Show your children how friendships should function by hav ing good friends around you who’re trustworthy, loyal, fun, and who share your values and goals.”
Tips For Parents
One of the best ways for teens to find friends who share the same values and interests as them is to participate in extracurricular activities like school clubs, sports, and volunteer work.
Encourage your teens to develop close relationships with adults other than you, like coaches, teachers, and their bosses if they have a part-time job.
TWEENS & TEENS — by Tanni Haas, Ph.D.
ExtracurricularInActivities
When teens feel love and support from trusted adults, they develop the confi dence to meet new people and develop close relationships with them.
Be A Role Model
“This way they can meet people with common interests and provide a springboard for conversation,” says Jan Hamilton, the founder and CEO of Doorways, a youth counseling service. Simply put, extracurricular activities give teens something to bond around and talk about.
BFFs No More: TWEENS & TEENS
Cheektowaga
“Parents play an important role in making sure that their kids don’t put all of their nest eggs into a single peer group basket,” says Ms. Whitson, “but rather develop genuine relationships with multiple peers and all kinds of friendship groups.” Dr. DeLong agrees: “Help your child to develop relation ships in a variety of settings. This way, when your child experiences the loss of a friendship, he or she will have other people to spend time with.”
Explain That Friendship Breakups Are Normal Explain to your teens that friend ship breakups are part of life, and also the emotional process they’re going through. “Remind your child that a friendship breakup isn’t a failure,” says social worker Signe Whitson, author of several parenting books, “but rather a predictable (albeit painful) part of grow ing up.”
September 2022 WNY Family 39
Encourage Them To Look For New Friends Encourage your teens to look for new friends and do it by casting as wide a net as possible, including by be ing open to meeting new people in the neighborhood, at school, and during ex tracurricular activities like clubs, sports teams, and youth groups.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Mar garet DeLong adds that parents should emphasize that the end of a friendship doesn’t imply “that there’s something ‘wrong’ with your child or the other child, or that it’s anyone’s fault.” Teens may not realize that they and their for mer friend have simply grown apart, or that their former friend has developed new interests and is involved in activi ties that make them gravitate towards other people.
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overly emotional about the situation,” says youth social worker Jessica Wein, “your child in the future may choose to withhold certain information as means to protect mom/dad from becoming up set.” Keep your emotions under control and listen in as non-judgmental a way as you can, showing that you understand what they’re going through. The mere fact of knowing that you understand, says child psychologist Dr. KennedyMoore, “lightens the burden of big feel ings for your child.”
— by Tanni Haas, Ph.D.
Friendships between teens can be fickle: one day they’re the best of friends; the next day one of them gives the other the cold shoulder. It’s hard when a former friend disappears from your life. How can par ents help their teens through friendship breakups? Here’s what the experts sug gest: Let Them Express How They Feel The first thing parents should do is to let their teens express how they feel. Parenting coach and author Mercedes Samudio says that parents should create a safe space for their teens to experience the emotions that come with a breakup. “They’ll feel angry and hurt,” she says, “but if they know they’ve a safe space to explore all their feelings they’re more likely to share them with you.” If your teens feel comfortable sharing how they feel with you, they’re more likely to listen to your suggestions when they’re ready to move on and make new friends. Be Mindful About How You Respond Listen to your teens, but also be mindful of how you respond to what they’re telling you. “If you appear to be Helping Teens Through Friendship Breakups
Dating
Some kids are happy that their di vorced or single parents are dating, and others are fearful of it. It depends on how long you have been single, how old the children are, and how emotionally threatened they feel.
40 WNY Family September 2022
Even after you have introduced your children to a new partner, they may or may not bond with that person. As far as your children are concerned, your dating partner is a complete stranger, and your children may not have chem istry with that person like you do. This needs to be okay. The only requirement you should have of your children is that they show respect toward any adult you choose to befriend or love. Beyond that, let relationships between your children and a dating partner happen naturally and in their own time.
Don’t Expect Your Children to Bond
Diane C. Dierks is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Atlanta, Georgia. She is co-host of the new podcast, CoParent Dilemmas (www.CPDilemmas. com, or wherever you get your pod casts). She is also author of The Co-Par ent Toolbox (2014 Aha! Publishing) and Solo Parenting: Raising Strong & Happy Families (1997 Fairview Press). — by Diane C. Dierks, LMFT, CFLE DO’s Parents
Although many single par ents are happy to be with out the aggravation of a bad relationship, many are equally frus trated by their dating dilemma — how to approach relationships when you have children to raise. On one hand, the prospect of connecting with someone else who also may have children and an “ex” seems more complicated than it’s worth. On the other hand, single parents are adults who value companionship and human touch just like anyone else. So, how can you balance the two in a way that is good for the single parent family? Here are some ideas that might help: Make Dating a Personal Growth Activity, Not an End Goal
Most single parents share their chil dren with the other parent, so use the time when the kids are with that parent to do things that matter to you. That in cludes going out with friends and having a social life, or doing projects around the house, volunteering, or pursuing an edu cation or a hobby. Dating should simply be part of this “me” time, not the sole focus of your free time. If approached in this way, you are likely to be more levelheaded about the experience and less likely to be disappointed or feel lonely when you don’t have a date on your off weekend.
SINGLE PARENTING
If your kids show anger, sadness or disrespect about the fact they know you are dating, they may feel threatened and worried that a new person might take your attention or love away from them. If this is the case, let them know that they are a priority, and no one could ever take their place in your life. Tell them the love a parent has for a child never goes away and there is nothing that they or anyone else in your life could say or do to change that.
Remind them that romantic love between men and women is not uncon ditional like it is from a parent to child. Then be sure to always be present emo tionally when you are with your kids, and keep dating activities (including phone calls, texting, tweeting, or what ever you do to communicate) for when you are not involved with the children. This way, they will learn over time that they are, in fact, a priority in your life.
If your children constantly encour age you to date, thank them for the en couragement, but remind them that you are happy whether you are single or mar ried and that you will date when it feels right for you.
and DON’Ts for Single
Keep Dating Separate from Time with Your Kids Date when the kids are not around. Even if you are not sharing time with the other parent, keep your dating life sep arate from the kids for a while by em ploying alternative childcare. Until you are sure that your new dating partner is a “keeper” (meaning you anticipate it will be a long and loving relationship), do not introduce the kids to him or her. Children bond easily with other adults and if they bond with everyone you date, they will lose every time your date doesn’t work out to be a long-term re lationship. That means they must grieve the loss of important adults in their lives over and over, which can have long-term effects in how they view relationships. They may erect emotional walls in their own dating relationships for fear that they will only lose those whom they get close to. So, it’s not a good idea to ex pose them to repeated loss in this way.
Understand Kids’ Fears or Wishes
What’s sweeter than a party revolving around cookies? Have the kids decorate their own apron. Spend a few hours whipping up cookies, and send everyone home with a few, along with their apron as a party favor.
Dance Party
Dress-Up Tea Party
Little kids love to dress up! Clean out your closet and let your guests go to town. Set your table with a tea set, and serve finger sandwiches and cookies. Each child can paint their own teacup — and that can double as the favor!
A party centered around a popular children’s book character is sure to be a hit! A fun activity can include having the kids color and decorate their own bookmark to bring home as a favor.
Backyard Camping Set tents up in the backyard. Tell spooky ghost stories, go on a scavenger hunt, and roast s’mores. Send guests home with an outdoorsthemed favor, like a compass or mini flashlight.
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Cookie-Making Party
Set up classic carnival games. Hire a face painter. Serve typical carnival foods like corn dogs. An added bonus? A bag of cotton candy can double as a party favor! Island Luau Turn your party into a tropical paradise. Have your guests wear Hawaiian shirts. Play music, games and serve foods like kebabs and tropical fruits. Send guests home with a plastic pail and shovel for their next beach trip.
A Day at the Carnival
Children’s Book Theme
Turn your backyard into a carnival!
Set up some strobe lights, black lights, and a stereo system. Play some music-themed games and have a dance off complete with judges and prizes for the winner.
Sports Mania Sports-lovers will love a party centered around their favorite team! Have a friendly game in the backyard, serve hot dogs and cracker jacks. Send each sports fans home with a water bottle to keep them hydrated.
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Wilson Compton, deputy director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, said the number of Americans doing drugs has largely stayed the same in recent years, but what changed is how deadly they’ve become.
“This is the most dangerous epidemic that we’ve seen,” said Ray Donovan, chief of operations at the U.S. Drug En forcement Agency (DEA). “Fentanyl is not like any other il licit narcotic, it’s that deadly instantaneously.”
42 WNY Family September 2022
Drug dealers reach adolescents on apps such as Snapchat, TikTok, Instagram and others, often using emojis as code.
Choices
“She was stiff. I shook her, I screamed her name, I called 911,” recounts Shannon. “My neighbors came over and did CPR, but it was too late. After that, I just don’t remember much.”America’s opioid crisis has reached catastrophic propor tions, with over 80,000 people dying of opioid overdoses last year, most of them due to illicit synthetics such as fentanyl — more than seven times the number a decade ago.
Oxycodone, an opioid, may be advertised as a half-peeled banana, Xanax, a benzodiazepine used to treat anxiety, as a chocolate bar, and Adderall, an amphetamine that acts as a stimulant, as a train. (See this issue’s back cover for examples of the emojis.)
After watching a movie — a prequel to “Harry Potter” — with her mother Shannon one evening in January, Makayla ap peared fine as she headed to her bedroom with her husky dog that often slept on her bed.
And deaths are rising especially quickly among young people, who obtain counterfeit prescription drugs through so cial media. Unknown to them, the pills come either laced with or made of fentanyl. In 2019, 493 American adolescents died of drug overdose, in 2021 that figure was 1,146.
One cup of heroin is equivalent to one teaspoon of fentanyl, and less than one gram can mean the difference between life
America’s Teens Succumbing to Deadly Fentanyl
Forever 16
Dealers Seek Teens Via Apps
But when Shannon entered Makayla’s room the next morn ing, she found her partially sitting up, perched against the head board, orange fluid coming out of her nose and mouth.
Makayla Cox, a high school student in the US state of Virginia, thought she was taking medication that her friend had procured to treat pain and anxiety.Instead, the pill she took two weeks after her sixteenth birthday was fentanyl, a synthetic opioid 50 times more potent than heroin. It killed her almost instantly.
Wellness
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At the agency’s headquarters, a col lection of photographs titled “Faces of Fentanyl” hangs in the hallway. It fea tures dozens of portraits of people who recently lost their lives to fentanyl. One of them reads “Makayla. Forever 16.”
Makayla’s ashes are in her bed room and Shannon still peeks into the room every morning and evening, like she did when her daughter was alive. She started a foundation in Makayla’s name to help prevent similar tragedies
Because fentanyl is much more po tent, it takes much less of it to fill a pill, resulting in more supply and more profit to theOnecartels.kilogram of pure fentanyl can be purchased for up to $12,000, pressed into half a million of pills that will sell for up to $30 each, raking in millions of dollars, Donovan said. And it’s also much easier to smuggle in pill form.
An honor-roll student and a cheer leader, Makayla liked to paint, cuddle with her two huskies, Maize and Malen kai, and planned to go to university to study law, said her mother Shannon Doyle, 41, who works as a paralegal in a loan service firm.
— a way, she says, help her cope with her grief.Makayla’s best friend Kaydence Blanchard, 16, is spending the summer without her, trying to make good on the dreams the girls had: to get a driver’s license and drive to the beach. But for Makayla “the future will never happen,” Blanchard said. “She will never complete any of the plans that we had together.” Source: MedicalExpress.com
“One Pill Can Kill”
The blue pills found in Makayla’s bed turned out to be 100 percent fentan yl. Police are investigating, but so far no arrests have been made.
Makayla had battled anxiety af ter her parents’ divorce, but things got worse during the pandemic. Last sum mer she started a job at a water park, where she met a friend who introduced her to counterfeit prescription drugs.
Last year the DEA launched a cam paign called “One pill can kill” to raise awareness of the dangers of fentanyl, and there are efforts across America to make naloxone, a medication that can reverse an opioid overdose, more easily available, including in schools.
—
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Last year, the DEA seized 15,000 pounds (nearly seven tons) of fentanyl — enough to kill every American. Four out of 10 seized pills contain lethal quantities of fentanyl.
“It used to be that when you were addicted to drugs you had five, 10, 15 years to try and get over your addic tion and get the help and change your life,” Shannon said at her house in Vir ginia Beach, a town on the Atlantic coast some 240 miles south of the U.S. capital. “You don’t have that chance anymore.”
44 WNY Family September 2022
Growing up is hard at the best of times, and the last few years have made it even more challenging for young people. Mental health is just as important as physi cal health and one of a par ent’s key roles is to support their child’s mental well being. Here psychothera pist Noel McDermott offers the following top 10 tips on helping kids open up and im prove communication.
9) PHSE learning at home: What is PSHE (personal, social, and health education) covering at school, and can you take up some of the themes at home? The school your child attends has duties to their emotional health and wellbeing and the best way for any of us to learn is by repetition. So, look at what is being covered there regarding psychological health and wellbeing and continue the conversation at home to en rich the message.
10) Learn mindfulness: Mindful ness teaches kids emotional resilience and helps them find the strength to deal with their emotions and manage them. Being mindful means greater well being, more positive emotion, and less anxiety and negative emotion. Teach Build
7) Healthy is happy and happy is healthy: Plan activities with your kids, of course, but also use it as an opportunity to show them how being psychologically healthy is the same as hav ing fun! Wellbeing psycho logically is no more complex than doing stuff we enjoy, such as having a run around the park; helping your kids understand this simple fact is a great gift.
2) Identify emotions : Children have a heap of emotions floating around their heads which are often hard to pro cess, and this can make them emotional without knowing why, such as hunger, anger, sadness, jealousy, and tiredness. As a parent you can make this easier by helping them identify how they are feel ing and why this might be; this in turn will help them organize their thoughts and normalize them.
4) Empathy in Parenting: Show ing empathy involves understanding what your child is going through and quite simply, life is easier for children if they are shown the kindness and compas sion they deserve. Children who grow up with kind and loving parents will truly develop empathy themselves. So, make the time to check in with your child, open up the conversation and give them the chance to connect with you, this way if something is troubling them, they are more likely to talk to you.
3) Validate feelings: Normalize your child’s emotions, all emotions are okay to have and the more we talk about them the more it validates this. It’s okay to feel sad and down, explain to your child that we all have moments when we feel we want to cry and that grown-ups cry too!
6) Open up real life serious con versations: Look for opportunities to stimulate conversation based upon what is happening in the world around you as the U.S. and the world is going though significant challenges which could be weighing on your child’s mind such as the cost-of-living crisis, the Ukraine war, energy problems, travel woes, political turmoil. All these real-world issues pro vide great opportunities to put into prac tice psychological skills; they provoke stress responses and the better we are at recognizing and managing stress the bet ter our lives will be globally.
1) Listen to their opinions: By asking your children questions, you will teach them that their thoughts and voices are valued and that their opinion matters, mean ing they are more likely to come to you if something is bothering them.
8) D-O-S-E up your life: Close on the heels of having healthy fun, is the understanding of how we can give ourselves positive hormonal boosts. Dopamine rewards pro-social activi ties and improves motiva tion. Oxytocin makes you feel loved up after a cuddle. Serotonin improves mood after getting some sun or having a walk in the park, and Endorphins make you feel great af ter strenuous activities such as a game of football. Kids love getting this sort of knowledge and maybe if they are young er, you can do a hormone treasure map, for example, showing how and where at home and in the local area they can get their fix of each hormone.
10 Conversations To In Your Children
5) Family circle time: Form hab its around setting aside time each week for the family to share feelings in a non-judgmental space. It’s often called “circle time” and it doesn’t have to be a big stress. For example, once a week after a family meal spend 5 minutes go ing around the table giving each person some uninterrupted time to check in with their feelings and share them with each other.
MentalStrongHealth
To enter online, visit www.wnyfamilymagazine.com
McDermott comments: “It’s important we don’t try and do the emotional and psychological work for our kids but encour age them to develop the internal resources they need for life to manage psychological distress effectively and healthily. Teach ing a core set of psychological skills will equip your kids better than if you solve their problems for them: active listening, emo tional intelligence, validation and strong self-esteem, empathy with others, seeing the bigger picture by being mindful in life are a great set of skills to develop.”
September 2022 WNY Family 45 your children simple breathing techniques, work with them to understand the simple power of taking long, slow, and deep breaths, a valuable self-management tool for life.
Noel McDermott is a psychotherapist with over 25 years’ ex perience in health, social care, and education. He has created unique, mental health services in the independent sector. Noel’s company offers at-home mental health care and will source, identify and co-ordinate personalized care teams for the indi vidual. Visit www.noelmcdermott.net
The key to all health and wellbeing is learning about it then doing it in real life, like if you go to the gym, learn how to use the equipment then use it regularly! It’s the same with psy chological fitness “equipment,” learn how to use the skills then drop them into family life and use them every day.
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1 cup chunky or plain pea butter, sunflower butter or soy butter (or peanut butter if not allergic)
2 Tablespoons sun butter (or peanut butter, soy butter, pea butter or melted marshmallows)
46 WNY Family September 2022
No floury mess, also a great recipe for those with gluten intolerance. Ready in 20 minutes • Yield: 24 cookies
Ready in 10 minutes • Yield: 4 Ladybugs
2 good red apples
• Read all ingredient labels to avoid any allergens. For example, some English muffins contain milk, some are milk free. Never assume.
• Gather all the ingredients first, to be sure everything is ready and there is enough for the recipe. Do the same with any tools you’ll need, like cook ie cutters, rolling pins, etc. Chefs re fer to this as “mise en place.”
• teens can use the oven, stove top, fol low recipes with more ingredients, work a bit more independently Below we have listed some easy recipes for all ages to keep your budding chefs happy. (Yes, this really works!)
Bake at 350° for 8-11 minutes, un til cookies look set. Remove from oven; leave on the cookie sheets for 5 minutes, transfer to wire racks to cool completely. Store in an airtight container (or freeze leftovers if desired.)
Our kids are blessed with two loving, doting grandmoth ers. One doesn’t cook, the other is tired of cooking. One opens a box and calls it dinner, the other works some times all day on meals that are consumed in under 30 minutes. The grandkids think both grandmas are wonderful.
• Everybody wash your hands. Wash again each time raw meats or eggs are handled.
1 cup white or brown sugar (use less if you prefer it not to be as sweet)
• 9-12 year olds can use a can opener, toaster, microwave, shred and peel fruits and vegetables
Flourless Cookies
• Keep a variety of fun, fast, and healthy food around. Bite size crunchy vege tables, fruits (keep some in the freez er too), juice, pretzels, frozen fruit bars, whole grain cereal — all make a quick nutritious snack, that can be fun with a little creativity.
1 egg (or 1 ½ T water + 1 ½ T oil + 1 teaspoon baking powder)
• 3-5 year olds love to scoop, mash, stir and pour
Apple Ladybugs
8 thin pretzel sticks (optional) – omit if gluten intolerant (or replace with gluten free pretzels) Slice apples in half, scoop out cores. Place apples flat side down on a plate. Spread 1/2 tablespoon of sun butter on the “back” of each apple. Use the raisins to create the dots on the back of each ladybug, using the pea nut butter as ‘glue’ to hold the raisins in place.Optionally, use pretzel sticks as an tennae – press two into each apple.
Preheat oven to 350°. In a medium bowl, stir together all ingredients (you can use a beater if you prefer). Drop by teaspoonful on ungreased cookie sheets. Flatten in a crisscross pat tern with fork (dip in water to keep it from sticking to the cookies.)
1/4 cup raisins
• Adult supervision at all times.
1 teaspoon vanilla
Recently, while my son was visiting my mom (the non-cook), she had him call me. He declared loudly on the phone that grandma is the “best cook ever,” for her gourmet meal of boiled hot dogs and mac aroni with margarine. She was laughing in the background; I just rolled my eyes at what some kids like. Not a big beef roast or fancy sauce, no — he liked boiled hot dogs.If you have the time — and the pa tience — teach the next generation how to make cutout cookies, spaghetti sauce, gnocchi, pierogis, or artisan breads. But you don’t have to knock yourself out in the kitchen to make a warm and lasting impression. Try a few simple recipes that they can help with. The older the child, the more sophisticated you can get. As they enter middle school and their teen years, pass on family recipes that you treasure.Afew things to keep in mind when the kids are in the kitchen:
• The level of involvement varies with age.
• 6-8 year olds can measure with a little help, cut soft foods (i.e., with a plastic or butter knife), wash the vegetables
Chicken or Tuna Rounds Ready in 15-20 minutes Yield: 4 Rounds Tips:
THE KIDDIE GOUR ME T
Add to this an order of one of the soups — likewithRiceweyou($4.50/$6.50)der,ClamEnglandNoodle,ChickenNewChoworChili—andhaveagoodmeal.ForasweetendingsharedhomemadePudding,oozingcinnamon.Ifyousugarwithyour coffee or tea, it is dispensed from an oldfashioned sugar dispenser, just another memory of the past, without all of that paper and plastic. Another pleasant touch is the container of flowers on the tables, artificial but colorful and cheerful. The staff here is also quite cheerful, dispensing good food and friendship. I can’t complain about anything except the lemonade, which was probably not made with real lemons and not in sync with the homemade diner food. All of our fellow diners looked as if they were enjoying their meals as much as we were.
2 Tablespoons vegan mayonnaise (or regular if not allergic) 2 English muffins, split 4 slices vegan cheese (or regular if not allergic) Preheat oven (or toaster oven) to 400°. In a small bowl, mix chicken and mayonnaise.Addsalt and pepper to taste. Place the 4 muffin halves, face up, on a cookie sheet (optionally lined with foil). Por tion out chicken salad onto each muffin top. Top each with cheese. Bake at 400° for about 10 minutes, until the cheese has melted.
September 2022 WNY Family 47
Over the last two decades, she has worked tirelessly, in a variety of capacities, to increase community awareness about food allergies.
Andy’s
1 small can (6oz) of chicken or tuna
Check out Barbara Blackburn’s blogs at frontierfare.wordpress.com and culinar rations.wordpress.com.
FOOD
If you have any questions about our column, e-mail Kathy at allergy@ roadrunner.com. For further infor mation about food allergies, contact FARE www.foodallergy.org, or call 1-800-929-4040.
• Top each muffin with a slice of to mato before adding the cheese.
Kathy Lundquist is a Western New York parent whose son, now an adult, was born with severe food allergies.
The Thanksgiving “Scrap” Sand wich is a fun and flavorful choice — fresh turkey, stuffing, turkey gravy and cranberry sauce served on white bread, with fries ($15.95). Another cleverly worded and constructed item is called the Allergy Alert, with fresh turkey, lettuce, with cranberry mayo, served on home made cranberry walnut bread, with fries ($15.95). The cranberry walnut bread was my favorite item, and it can be or dered as a side item ($3.75). A side order of Sweet Potato Fries with honey was an
• For those who don’t like or cannot eat mayonnaise, replace it with mus tard, relish, or favorite dressing.
• With older kids, add one stalk chopped celery, 1/4 cup chopped scallions, onions, or bell peppers.
— by Barbara Blackburn DinerSunrise 8550 Sheridan Drive (in Bender’s Plaza) Williamsville NY 14221 716-458-3435 andyssunrisediner.wixsite.com/andys~SPOONS~ 4/5 SERVICE 5/5 FAMILYFRIENDLY 3.5/5 other tasty side order ($6.95). Classic Buffalo comfort food lives here on the menu, such as the Philly Cheese Steak, with carmelized on ions, sweet pepper, mush room, provolone cheese and mayo, with fries ($15.95). You can make a meal at any time from the breakfast and lunch varieties. Comfort food can be healthy, too. Take the Healthy Omelet, with broccoli, mushroom, tomato, spinach, red onion, sweet pepper, banana pepper and a choice of cheese ($13.00).
Andy’s wel comes kids and adults with some interesting food selec tions, including the usual kids’ choices. The menu hu morously says “cold coffee and lousy food.” However, as in diners, the coffee is hot and never ending, and the food is good. This is a break fast, lunch, or midday dinner spot, from 7 am to 3 pm with a 7 pm closing on Friday. Choices for the kids, 10 and under, are as follows: Chicken Fingers ($8.00 or $11.00 with fries), Grilled Cheese with Fries ($9.00), and Peanut Butter and Jel ly ($6.00). The small Choco late Milk is $3.50. When we were there we enjoyed the Fresh Haddock Sand wich ($14.95) with let tuce, American cheese and Tartar sauce, with fries. The Fish Fry ($14.95) is served daily, with fries, po tato salad, coleslaw, mac salad, Tartar sauce and lemon, also baked in four other styles: lemon pepper, Cajun, Italian, or Greek at varying prices.
DRUG ENFORCEMENT ADMINISTRATION Save Someone You Love!DRUG ENFORCEMENT ADMINISTRATION This reference guide is intended to give parents, caregivers, educators, and other influencers better sense of how emojis are being used in conjunction with illegal drugs. Fake prescription pills, commonly laced with deadly fentanyl and methamphetamine, are often sold on social media and e-commerce platforms – making them available to anyone with a smartphone. EMOJI DRUG CODE | DECODED COMMON EMOJI CODES COCAINEMETH ADDERALLMARIJUANA FAKE PRESCRIPTION DRUGS MDMA & MOLLIES XANAXPERCOCET & OXYCODONE COUGH SYRUP DEALER ADVERTISING UNIVERSAL FOR DRUGS LARGE BATCHMUSHROOMSHIGHPOTENCY #ONEPILLCANKILL HEROIN DEALER SIGNALS OTHER DRUGS A -
