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Easy Thanksgiving Ideas for the Single Parent by Meagan Ruffing
18 n The Daddy Track Things a Father is Thankful For by Shannon Carpenter
19 n Parent Previews by Kirsten Hawkes
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Here are some QUESTIONS you can ask your child! Whether at home or in the car on a road trip, “Would You Rather?” questions can strike up some fun conversations
Would you rather work at a bakery or work at a diner?
Would you rather win a gold medal at the Olympics or be a famous singer?
Would you rather sleep in a tent or under the stars?
Would you rather work for a company that makes movies or a company that makes toys?
Would you rather be able to understand what animals are saying or have the ability to be invisible?
*Source – familyeducation.com
What’s New... IN THE KIDBIZ web.finds
Fun Favors & Games for Thanksgiving
Are you hosting Thanksgiving at your house this year? Check out these fun favors and games that will add a festive touch to the table and to the conversation!
Oreo Turkeys
This project is a little labor intensive, but oh, so cute! Double Stuff Oreo Cookies, Whoppers, candy corn, mini peanut butter cups, store-bought tubes of chocolate, yellow, and red frosting, plus some black sprinkles for eyes are what’s needed. Mom friends, Sara and Kate, provide all you need to know to assemble the turkeys, which also can be used to hold place cards, here: ourbestbites.com/oreoturkeys-and-cookie-pilgrim-hats
Acorn Cookies
These adorable no-bake treats are made with Nutter Butter Bites cookies, mini chocolate chips, and Hershey Kisses. Melt some chocolate chips in the microwave, dip the bottom of the Kiss in the chocolate, and press onto the cookie. Let cool a bit to harden. Then, dip the bottom of an un-melted mini chocolate chip into the melted chocolate and press onto the other side of the cookie. Let harden. Put a few in a cellophane treat bag for each guest – decorate as you please – or in a small cup or dish at each place on your holiday table. Check out the directions at girlsandtheirmeals.blogspot. com/2011/10/acorn-cookies.html
Thanksgiving Conversation Starters
Get the conversation focused on the meaning of Thanksgiving with these conversation starters! When the family is gathered around the table on Thanksgiving day, add this easy to make jar with Thanksgiving questions to ask around the table. It will get the family talking and give everyone the chance to really focus on the purpose of the day! Find the directions and printable download at thedatingdivas.com/thanksgiving-conversation-starters
Thanksgiving Scattergories
Check out this festive take on the classic game Scattergories that is fun for the whole family! Have a blast as everyone becomes creative with words, coming up with a word that fits the description and starts with the letter at the top of the column. Go around the table revealing your answers. If no one else wrote the same thing on their category sheet, you get a point. The player or team with the most points wins. Find the downloadable game cards at thecraftingchicks.com/ thanksgiving-scattergories-free-printable-game
TOY ANNOUNCES 2024-2025 SEASON
The curtain is rising on another great season of live, family friendly entertainment at Theatre of Youth (TOY) with its 2024-2025 season. Starting things off is Junie B. Jones in Jingle Bells, Batman Smells! on stage from December 7-14, with a special Sensory-Friendly performance on Sunday, December 8. Junie B. Jones is super excited about the upcoming Holiday Sing-Along and Secret Santa gift exchange at her school. But when Junie B. draws tattletale May’s name for Secret Santa, she comes up with the perfect plan to teach her nemesis a lesson! This endearing and hilarious holiday tale is based on the best-selling book series by Barbara Park.
J.R.R. Tolkien’s classic novel The Hobbit comes to life on stage from March 1-9, 2025. Join unlikely hero Bilbo Baggins as he finds himself on a magically mystical adventure. Staged with speed and surprises, you’ll be delighted as things change before your very eyes. Discover what happens as Bilbo travels on an epic journey over freezing mountains and frightening forests, meeting all sorts of fierce creatures — some who want to eat him, others who turn into dear friends.
The season wraps up with an unforgettable ride in Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus! The Musical! on stage from May 3-11, 2025, with a Sensory-Friendly performance on Sunday, May 4. Based on the New York Times best-selling, Caldecott Honor award-winning “Pigeon” picture books, this production is sure to get everyone’s wings flapping. When the Bus Driver has a crisis that threatens to make her passengers late, it’s up to Pigeon to swoop in and save the day…and prove that maybe that wily bird CAN do something!
Theatre of Youth performances take place at the Historic Allendale Theatre at 203 Allen Street in Buffalo. Tickets for all 2024-2025 productions are now on sale. Visit www.theatreofyouth.org for additional information and to purchase tickets.
15 Ways to Foster Gratitude in Your Family
— by Rebecca Hastings
With the holidays on the horizon, fostering an atmosphere of gratitude is especially important. Gratitude or thankfulness shouldn’t be a onetime experience. Research shows that practicing gratitude increases levels of happiness and optimism, improves sleep, and decreases stress, depression, and aggression. Additionally, gratitude can increase positive traits like self-esteem and resilience.
Everyone, especially kids, can benefit from these things. Fostering gratitude in your family can also lead to a more positive and harmonious household.
If you’re ready to cultivate gratitude in your family, here are some practical steps you can take with your family:
1.
Lead by Example: Start by showing gratitude yourself. Express appreciation for the things others do for you, and be vocal about what you're thankful for. Let your kids hear you
2.
Start a Gratitude Journal: Encourage each family member to keep a gratitude journal. This can be a notebook or a digital document where they write down things they are grateful for each day. You can even create a family gratitude journal, poster, or jar where you all contribute things you are grateful for.
Create a Gratitude Ritual: Establish a daily or weekly ritual where everyone shares something they are grateful for. This could be during mealtime or before bedtime.
4.
Practice Mindfulness: Encourage your family to be present and notice things in the moment. This can help them appreciate small gifts and blessings they might otherwise overlook.
5. Celebrate Achievements: Celebrate small wins and accomplishments like reading a few pages of a book or making a basket while shooting hoops. Acknowledge efforts and achievements, no matter how minor.
6.
Encourage Acts of Kindness: Promote acts of kindness within the family and towards others. It could be as simple as helping with chores or showing kindness to a neighbor. Acts of kindness toward strangers can be a fun challenge for kids to participate in!
7. Volunteer Together:
Participate in community service or volunteer activities as a family. Serving together is a great way to engage with people and grow in gratitude. This can help your family gain perspective and appreciate the people or places around them.
8. Limit Possessions: Encourage experiences over material possessions. Teach your family to value relationships, experiences, and memories over acquiring things. Celebrate the time you have with people and the experiences you have.
9.
Reflect on Challenges: When faced with difficulties, chat about the lessons you learned from the situation. Talk about what there is to be grateful for, even in difficult seasons.
10.
Express Appreciation Verbally and Non-Verbally: Say “thank you” often. And encourage people to say “you’re welcome.” Doing so is a way to highlight good things and how they make you feel. Sincerely acknowledge and appreciate the efforts of each family member, whether they are 1 or 101.
11.
Create a Gratitude Jar: Have a jar where family members can drop notes expressing gratitude. Read them together weekly or at the end of each month.
12.
Share Positive News and Stories: We hear a lot of negative things throughout the day. Be intentional about sharing positive news stories, inspiring quotes, or books that make people happy.
13. Encourage Empathy: Teach your family to consider the feelings and perspectives of others in various situations. This can help them appreciate the efforts and experiences of those around them and increase kindness.
14. Practice Patience and Understanding: It’s easy to lose patience with our family members. Encourage your family to be patient with each other and to understand that everyone is doing their best. It helps to slow down, take a breath, and say
“We’re all doing our best.” This helps retrain your brain to be more patient and understanding.
15.
Celebrate Traditions and Special Occasions: Use holidays, birthdays, and other special occasions as opportunities to express gratitude and celebrate your family. These don’t have to be big things either. Vanilla Cupcake Day is a worthy celebration (hint: it’s on November 10!).
Remember, fostering gratitude is an ongoing process that requires consistency and patience. By making gratitude a part of your family culture, you can create a more positive and appreciative environment for your whole family.
Rebecca Hastings is a former elementary teacher who traded the classroom for writing when she stayed home with her three children. Passionate about authenticity, faith, and family, you can find her at RebeccaHastings.net and on Amazon. In real life, she can often be found typing words, driving her kids places, or wherever there is chocolate.
– familyeducation.com If your favorite toy could talk, what would it say? What is your favorite dessert? What is the funniest thing that has happened to you? What qualities make a best friend? If you wrote a
Gratitude Activities for Kids
— by Rebecca Hastings
Encouraging gratitude in kids can have long-lasting positive effects on their overall well-being. But it can feel tricky to know exactly how to do that. The good news is you don’t need to do anything complex. In fact, simple is better!
Here are ten gratitude activities perfect for kids:
Start a Gratitude Journal:
Get a special notebook or a drawing pad for your child to write or draw things they are thankful for. Encourage them to do this regularly, even if it’s just a few times a week. This works great for all ages. You can even have a family gratitude journal time for everyone to practice.
Send Thank You Cards:
Kids don’t often get to mail things, but you can change that. Set up a crafting station with supplies like colored paper, markers, stickers, and stamps. Help your child create thank you cards for family members, friends, teachers, or anyone they appreciate. It doesn’t need to be a thank you for a gift. You can simply send a thank you for being special! (It’s extra fun if you can find a few people to send thank you’s to your child. Kids love getting things in the mail!)
Create a Gratitude Jar:
Have a jar where your child can drop short notes expressing gratitude.
They can write things that make them happy or unexpected blessings in their day. Encourage your child to read a few notes from the jar when they’re feeling down or need a pick-me-up.
Make a Gratitude Tree:
Create a tree on a poster board or use a real tree branch in a pot. Have your child write or draw things they are grateful for on paper leaves and attach them to the tree. This makes a great seasonal display.
Follow an Acts of Kindness Calendar:
Create a calendar with daily or weekly kindness challenges. These can include tasks like complimenting someone, helping with a chore, or giving a hug. This works great for older kids.
Play the Thankful Game:
You don’t need to wait for Thanksgiving dinner to show your gratitude. At a regular dinner or during family time, take turns sharing something each person is thankful for. Make it a regular part of your routine.
Design a Gratitude Collage:
Provide magazines, scissors, glue, and a poster board. Have your child cut from pete and je y luv you
out pictures and words that represent things they are thankful for and create a collage. This is the perfect craft for a rainy day.
Decorate Gratitude Stones:
Collect smooth, flat stones (or buy some at a craft store) and have your child decorate them with words or pictures representing things they’re grateful for. They can keep these in a special place as a visual reminder or they can leave them in places for others to discover.
Take a Gratitude Walk:
Take a walk together and encourage your child to notice things in nature or the environment that they’re thankful for. These could be things like the colors of the leaves, the sound of birds, or a beautiful flower.
Try Story Time with Gratitude Themes:
Read books with gratitude as a central theme. After reading, discuss with your child what the characters were thankful for and why.
All of these activities can be adjusted for different ages and interests. The important part is to make gratitude a fun and integrated part of your child’s daily life. And be sure to get in on the fun yourself. We could all use a bit more gratitude in our lives!
Great Books for Kids About Gratitude
Llama Llama Gives Thanks by Anna Dewdney: Perfect for ages 0-3, our familiar llama friend learns that thankfulness happens all year long.
Thanks from the Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle: Ages 2-5 will appreciate this book about kindness and caring for people and nature.
Thanksgiving Is for Giving Thanks! by Margaret Sutherland, illustrated by Sonja Lamut: A story for ages 3-5 all about the real meaning of Thanksgiving.
The Berenstain Bears Count Their Blessings by Jan Berenstain and Stan Berenstain: Our favorite bear family reminds us how to count our blessings (even when it’s hard!) Great for ages 3-7.
Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are? by Dr. Seuss: Fun, upbeat, and perfectly rhymed, this story for ages 5-9 reminds kids how blessed they are.
White Bird: A Wonder Story by R. J. Palacio: A graphic novel for ages 8-12, this book is an inspired way to look at friendship, even in the hardest experiences.
An advertiser can expect a 43% higher readership from larger, full color ads.*
But ALL well designed ads should follow these principles to be as effective as possible:
ATTENTION Are you talking to me? Good ads should grab the attention of your target customers.
INTEREST Why are you talking to me? Effective advertising helps to generate interest in your product or service among the right people.
DESIRE Nice idea, but do I really need it? Your advertising should create a desire to learn more about the product or service you are promoting.
ACTION What will I have to do? The advertisement should also provide a call to action and tell your customers exactly how and where they can buy your promoted product or service.
*Source: Cahners Research
— by Tanni Haas, Ph.D.
Celebrate The Holidays: Great Thanksgiving Apps
Few holidays can bring family and friends together for a day of fun and feasting than Thanksgiving. Whether you’re sharing a home-cooked meal with loved ones or helping feed those less fortunate, Thanksgiving is one of the most family-oriented days on the calendar. Here are some of the very best apps to get you and the rest of the family in a Thanksgiving spirit. They’re all free, so take a moment and download an app — or three!
ThanksgivingApp
(Available at: Apple App Store, Google Play)
The aptly-named Thanksgiving App is the most comprehensive app for all things Thanksgiving. Whether you’re a history buff who wants to know more about the origins of the holiday, or you’re looking for tips on how to cook the perfect turkey, this is the app for you. It has a trivia game that teaches you more than you ever thought possible about how Thanksgiving is celebrated in the U.S. and around the world, in addition to Thanksgiving greeting cards that you can share with family and friends. For those who are looking forward to the holiday, there’s a timer that counts the days, hours, and minutes until Thanksgiving.
BabyHazel
ThanksgivingFun
(Available at: Apple App Store, Google Play)
As you’re waiting for the meal, entertain the youngest members of the family
by playing Baby Hazel Thanksgiving Fun with them. This app, which is aimed at toddlers, features Baby Hazel and her family who celebrate Thanksgiving with the beloved grandparents. Baby Hazel decorates her grandparents’ home with colorful ornaments, creates festive turkey crowns for them, and helps them set up and enjoy a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Play along with your kids and talk to them about why you are celebrating Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving ColoringBook
(Available at: Apple App Store)
Another great app for younger and older kids alike is the Thanksgiving Coloring Book. This app has an awesome selection of coloring pages, and kids can use the built-in paint bucket to fill in spaces with more than 60 colors or finger paint on their own for increased creativity. To clear an image, all they have to do is to shake their phone and start over. They can save their images and share them with family and friends during Thanksgiving dinner which can lead to some great conversation.
Thanksgiving Puzzles
(Available at: Apple App Store)
Thanksgiving Puzzles is another great gaming app. Featuring several animated puzzles of increasing difficulty, this app
is filled with the things that we’ve come to associate with Thanksgiving — huge feasts of turkey, fixings, and pumpkin pie. At the end of each puzzle, fun objects explode like fireworks into colorful autumn leaves that are sure to amaze the kids.
ThanksgivingDay
Photo Editor
(Available at: Apple App Store)
“round-ups” with one-time or monthly donations, perhaps for some extra giving around the holidays. Have the app open and ready next time you go shopping with the kids, and include the kids in decisions on how much to round up and how much money to donate to their charity of choice.
Program which helps feed millions of families around the world. This is a great way to teach the kids that not all children are as lucky as they are.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Tanni Haas, Ph.D. is a Professor in the Department of Communication Arts, Sciences, and Disorders at The City University of New York – Brooklyn College.
Whether you’re inviting family and friends over for dinner or you’re guests at someone else’s feast, Thanksgiving Day Photo Editor is a wonderful tool to create and share greeting cards. Choose from various pre-designed cards or design your own cards by decorating the greeting cards with stickers and inserting photos of family and friends.
Givio
(Available at: Apple App Store, Google Play)
Thanksgiving is about so much more than celebrating together with family and friends and expressing our gratitude: it’s also about sharing with those less fortunate. Teach the kids the important lesson of generosity by downloading Givio — the charitable app — and have them add some of their allowance as a donation to a charitable organization of their choice. You can share your name and contact information or choose to stay totally anonymous.
RoundUp
(Available at: Apple App Store)
Another way to show generosity to those in need is to round up all the purchases you normally make and to designate the extra money to one or more charities. The app for that is called RoundUp. You can also supplement your
ShareTheMeal
(Available at: Amazon Apps, Apple App Store, Google Play)
The charity app that arguably best captures the spirit of Thanksgiving is ShareTheMeal , created by the United Nations World Food Program. By contributing to this app, you’ll donate directly to the United Nations World Food
— by Gina Rich
When Your Kids Won’t Eat
Anything at Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. Not only does it occur during the same month as my birthday, but a holiday devoted entirely to relaxing with family while enjoying delicious carbladen foods is right up my alley.
When I was growing up in California, my family usually celebrated Thanksgiving at our house, with friends joining us on occasion. Though it’s been over a decade since we were all together for the holiday, both my nose and my tastebuds can still recall those days in vivid detail: waking up to the scent of onions and butter sizzling on the stove; taking my first bite of tart cranberry sauce; filling my belly with a second or third helping of stuffing, which was always my favorite. When it came to preparing the feast, my dad typically ran the show, which meant the meal involved at least eight sticks of butter, and giblets were always, always mixed into the stuffing. Yes, I know giblets make some people cringe, but the point is, I loved it all.
Naturally, I assumed my enthusiasm for Thanksgiving fare would carry over to my two children. I was wrong.
Enter my daughters, who at the tender ages of seven and five years, have already distinguished themselves as two of the most finicky eaters in our entire extended family.
Though my husband and I have continually encouraged our daughters to try different foods, their tolerance for cuisine other than plain noodles and carrot sticks is alarmingly limited. One child refuses cheese in all forms. The other will eat cheese, but only if it’s not melted, so mac n’ cheese is a no-go in our house. Both prefer their “pizza” served to them as a naked crust void of ingredients (may as well just call it toast at that point). And sadly, neither has developed an affinity for any of the Thanksgiving dishes I’ve loved for so long: turkey, stuffing (oh, the stuffing!!), mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie.
At last year’s holiday, faced with a delightful spread of traditional dishes that no sane person could refuse, my
daughters turned up their noses and decided to subsist on rolls, a few slivers of lettuce from the salad, and the chicken nuggets we hastily heated up for them.
Our family is hosting Thanksgiving this year, and while I’m very excited about getting everyone together, I’m also dreading the fact that I will once again have to contend with my daughters’ stubborn palates.
So, after some hand-wringing on this issue, I’ve decided to do things a bit differently this time around. I’m hoping the following guidelines will preserve my sanity:
First, my kids are in charge of choosing which foods go onto their plates.
I’ll encourage my daughters to serve themselves from the variety of dishes I’m planning on preparing. What specific foods they choose to eat, and how much they consume, is up to them. If they want to eat four dinner rolls and a few bites of green beans instead of a more balanced meal that contains actual protein—while this makes me cringe— that’s their decision.
Second, if they want something other than what we’ve prepared for the meal, they have to make it themselves.
So, you refuse turkey and want peanut butter on plain bread? Go for it, kiddo! You know where the supplies are. Oh, and you want plain toast instead of stuffing? Splendid. There’s the toaster right over there; you know how to use it.
Third, I’ll remind myself that, while food is a key part of the holiday and I’d love my daughters to expand their palates and enjoy this tradition as much as I do, the most important aspect of Thanksgiving is spending time with each other.
It’s true: no matter what my daughters eat (or don’t!), the holiday will be special, simply because our family is together.
Plus, assuming my kids don’t eat any stuffing, that just means I can have extra helpings later.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Originally published on Milwaukee Mom.
Gina Rich is a Wisconsin freelance writer who focuses on parenting, health, and the natural world. Her work has been published in the Washington Post, Good Housekeeping, WIRED, and other outlets.
SINGLE PARENTING
— by Meagan Ruffing
Easy Thanksgiving Ideas for the Single Parent
Embracing the holidays after divorce is one of the hardest things to navigate as a single parent. Traditions that once excited you and your kids now become things that feel like memories from another life. Knowing how to carry on with your new normal when life goes on for those around you can seem impossible. Since holidays tend to heighten things and make everything feel so much heavier, having options, like Friendsgiving, can make all the difference.
I was invited to my first Thanksgiving the year after I went through my divorce. A friend asked me to join her and her family and even though I felt weird about going, I went. I’ll be honest, I felt somewhat out of place and a little sorry for myself. I was thankful for the invite but also confident that I would much rather be by myself or at a Friendsgiving the next time I didn’t have the kids for this holiday. So, that’s exactly what I did. Every year, whether I have my kids or not, I get together with friends and focus on making the best version of my grandma’s apple pie. Friendsgiving with those who feel like family has been so healing for me.
Here are 10 things I’ve learned about making this holiday something special.
1. Buy matching T-shirts or sweatshirts. The first year I did this, I ordered all of us the same top to wear and we’ve worn it every Friendsgiving since then.
2. We plan the menu ahead of time and we each bring two things.
3. Wine glasses with a Friendsgiving logo. I ordered stickers from Etsy with the word Friendsgiving on them and picked up some cheap wine glasses at the Dollar Store. I stuck the stickers on them and voila! I had the cutest drinkware to use at dinner and take home.
4. We go around the table and share something we’re thankful for about each person. This can feel kind of awkward at first but, I promise, it feels good, and everyone ends up feeling grateful for the opportunity to be with each other.
5. I always think there needs to be something funny to follow a more serious question, so I like to ask my friends to share their funniest Thanksgiving stories. I have found out some pretty interesting things about my friends this way!
One dish is usually something we love to make or maybe a family recipe. The second one has been something new that sounded good. Some have been amazing while others have been flops. It’s been fun to try new things while knowing we have some tried and true recipes we can still eat.
6. Volunteer at a nearby shelter. One year my friends and I decided to volunteer at a local restaurant where they were feeding those in need. It was nice to give back and made me focus on helping others instead of being upset that I didn’t have my kids.
7. Go to the movies. I never started doing this until I was divorced continued on page 23
GiftsGalore
A Holiday Gift Guide
Designing
Dish
138 Grey Street, East Aurora • 716-655-4456
www.designingdish.com
Hyatt’s All Things Creative
1941 Elmwood Avenue, Buffalo • 716-884-8900
www.hyatts.com
Everyone is an artist at Designing Dish – a paint your own pottery store featuring Glass Fusing. Create make and take gifts from christmas trees to ornaments. We have those special projects that everyone will always remember. Open for walk-ins, ladies nights, and accepting reservations for private parties. Celebrate the Holiday Season by visiting us in the historic village of East Aurora. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram.
Federal Meats
With 9 WNY Locations to serve you. Call 716-633-1390 for the nearest location. www.federalmeats.com
Give The Gift of Good Taste! Enjoy this real old-time butcher shop, where meat professionals assist customers one-on-one in selecting their meats, poultry, deli and seafood. Here is where you can have your favorite items cut and wrapped to your specification. Their large deli section includes a full signature line of freshly prepared dinner entrées and appetizers to choose from. Federal Meats specializes in friendly knowledgeable service where phone orders are always welcome. Federal Meats accepts Cash, Master Card, Visa, Discover and EBT. Holiday Gift Certificates, Steak & Meat Packages are also available for year-round gift giving. Follow us on Facebook & Instagram - @federal_meats.
Gymnastics Unlimited
70 Weiss Ave., W. Seneca/Orchard Park • 716-677-0338
www.gymnastics-unlimited.net
GYMNASTICS will keep your child moving all winter! No need to be a member for these programs to burn off that winter energy: FUN & GAME NIGHTS!!! Nov. 2, Dec.7, Mar. 1, Apr. 5. Open to the public. Call for more info. Toddler time on Wednesday from 12:15-1pm for 5 yrs & under, $7 per walking child and Open Tumbling on Monday & Wednesday from 8:50-9:45pm, $10, Jr. High (11 yrs old) & older. HOLIDAY GIFTS!!! For those gymnasts in your life, we have gymnastics apparel, accessories, and gymnastics inspired gifts.
Discover special gifts for everyone on your list and shop local this year with Hyatt’s All Things Creative. As a family owned business in Western New York for over 60 years, Hyatt’s knows how to inspire creativity in people of all ages with their more than 55,000 products. Beyond art supplies, visit their newly expanded kids creative play area with more toys, building blocks, and STEAM sets! You’ll also find experienced and knowledgeable staff that are happy to take the time to help you find the perfect gift. Gift cards also available in any amount.
Kid to Kid
1060 Niagara Falls Blvd., Tonawanda • 716-831-8300 www.kidtokid.com/tonawanda 980 Union Rd., Southgate Plaza, West Seneca • 716-675-0483 www.kidtokid.com/westseneca
Holiday gift shopping at up to 70% off mall prices! We’re a family-owned, upscale resale store with two great locations in Tonawanda and West Seneca. We buy and sell the best of what kids outgrow: kids’ clothing sizes 0-14, shoes, toys, books, games, baby equipment, and more. We buy all seasons all the time, no appointment necessary. It’s a win-win for parents...by trading in outgrown items and buying what’s needed now, and by giving another child an opportunity to love those items. Kid to Kid supports and donates to local charities. Open Mon-Sat 9am-8pm, Sun 12-5pm. Follow us on Facebook!
Monaco’s Violin Shop & Music Centre, Inc.
55 CrossPoint Pkwy., Suite 106, Getzville • 716-688-8600 www.monacosviolinshop.com
Monaco’s Violin Shop is a family owned and operated business serving this area since 1973. Monaco’s is the only store in WNY that specializes in the retail, rental, & repair of violins, violas, cellos, and basses. Monaco’s carries instruments made in Romania, the Czech Republic, Germany and others. Monaco’s is the exclusive dealer of the Samuel Shen line of instruments in WNY. We have years of experience repairing many different stringed instruments including guitars, banjos, ouds, mandolins, and more. Our annual sale on instruments, accessories, and musically inspired gifts, runs from November 29th thru December 23rd.
GiftsGalore
A Holiday Gift Guide
Past & Present
Science & Nature Store
3767 South Park Avenue, Blasdell • 716-825-2361
www.pastpres.com
Past & Present is a unique science & nature store offering unusual treasures from around the world. Fossils, rocks, minerals & crystals are some of the geologic wonders you might find for that one of a kind gift. Beautiful amethyst cathedrals, geodes & other natural pieces of art, along with handcrafted jewelry, are always available. Browsing our shop is a great experience for kids of all ages. Books, posters, science discovery kits & geology tools are just some of the great gift ideas available. Be sure to visit our free Fossil Gallery featuring dinosaurs, sharks, local & internationally found fossils.
Shop local this Holiday Season! Raff and Friends is a locally owned toy store located in the Eastern Hills Mall. The store is packed full of an incredible variety of quality products including Melissa and Doug, Playmobil, Breyer, Bruder, Squishables, Calico Critters, Kruselings Dolls, arts & crafts, fidget toys, science, books, puzzles and board games for all ages, and much, much more. Shop in store, Mon-Sat 10-6, Sun 12-5. Or Checkout the online store at www.raffandfriends.com where you will find that perfect gift for that special someone on your holiday list. Raff and Friends also offers Curbside Pickup for your online orders.
St. Gregory the Great Craft Show
250 St. Gregory Ct., Williamsville (next to Millard Suburban Hospital) www.stgregs.org
St. Gregory’s annual Craft Show will be held Friday, Nov. 29, 10am-4pm; and Saturday, Nov. 30, 10am-3pm. More than 140 artisans and crafters will sell their handcrafted, unique, quality items. Avoid the Black Friday frenzy, the crowds, and the chaos at the malls. Come support the local economy by choosing gifts from one of the many artisans and crafters from around WNY. You’ll find purses, gourmet dips and mustards, candles, photographs, soap and spa products, painted glass, garden statues, jewelry, doll clothes, decorative pottery, floral decor and so much more. Admission is $3.00, no charge for children 12 and under.
Williamsville PTSA
Craft Show
175 Heim Road, Williamsville www.facebook.com/HolidayCraftShowPTSA/
Support local artisans and students at our 48th annual event on Saturday, December 7th (10am - 4 pm) and Sunday, December 8th (10am - 3 pm) . Find hand-crafted gifts at 170+ different booths- something for every age group, interest and budget: knits, linens, jewelry, home décor, photographs, foods, toys, pet items, etc. Admission is $3 ages 18+, $1 ages 11-17, and ages 10 and under are free. Proceeds benefit the Williamsville PTSA Council Student Scholarship Fund for 3 high schools.
IDaddy Daddy The Track
– by Shannon Carpenter
am thankful for donuts. They are the things that widen my waistline and console my anxiety. Little bits of fried dough that always hit just right on the days when parenting is overwhelming, the bills are nonstop, and the car starts making a sound that I know is going to require a mechanic and an exorcist.
I am thankful for my college daughter’s texts about nothing because they mean everything. Where is she during the day? I usually have no idea anymore because I now live on the periphery of her life; a figure that is there to be her cheerleader when she doubts herself. I am the unseen safety net that hovers about her, waiting for a text that says “Hey Dad, what’s up?”
I am thankful for a dog that barks at a bump in the middle of the night because it makes me feel less alone. He makes me feel brave when I’m not, happy when I’m down, and goofy when I need to smile. My dog gives his love without reservation and I’m thankful that we have that example in the world. Love like your dog and the world would be a better place.
I am thankful for video games in the middle of the night. Those moments when I’m all alone and I log into my 17-year-old son’s account and pick up his favorite game. I grind for him, do-
is cleaned. And then the opposite days where I can’t seem to move, and the list sits like a judge on the bench. Both have their place and help remind me that I can tackle the world or that it’s ok to let it go on without me for a little bit.
I am thankful for wood burning, a hobby that focuses my mind and my hands as they trace over a pattern on a piece of cedar. It calms me and it’s in those moments I can hear the kids in the other room. It’s their unreserved selves that parents rarely get to see. They tell their stories, and I get to be part of the audience rather than the director.
I am thankful for Lucky Charms cereal.
ing things in game that gain experience or pick up necessary items that will help him later. It’s like playing Santa Claus in the digital world.
I’m thankful that my garage door never seems to close all the way and there is a little gap at the bottom no matter how much I mess with it. Because when it rains, a neighborhood cat will run in there to take shelter, and I’m ok with that. Plus, if there are any mice, well, he does what cats do. We’ve come to an understanding that we both will never acknowledge each other but are also grateful that we share this. To be honest, this is the best relationship with a cat I’ve ever had.
I am thankful that I get to talk to really smart people about the problems I see in the world. They help me make sense of male loneliness for fathers and vulnerability as a necessary human need. They explain their research like I am a peer when, in actuality, I’m a fanboy. But I get to really dig into their words and then present them to other dads so that they know that they are not alone.
I am thankful for steak, sharp edges on recently mowed lawns, and all the other clichés of fatherhood.
I am thankful for those really productive days when all your to-do list gets done. When the articles are written, the pitches are sent, and the kitchen
I’m thankful for shoes because no one seems to be thankful for them at all, and this bothers me. I don’t mean like high-cost fancy shoes that you wear to dinner parties. I just mean shoes as they exist every day. Does anyone have any idea how hard it would be to walk around barefoot all the time and the resulting stubbed toes? I am thankful that I have the time to think of something so silly and consider all the ramifications of that.
I am thankful for my real-life bat-arang. It’s sharp and flips open with just a pull from my finger. It’s so goofy and weird, and to most people has no reason to exist. But for me, it’s the story of a trip where I took the kids to see the World’s Largest Mailbox and, for some reason, they also sold bat-a-rang. It was so out of place and I understand that feeling. So, when I touch it now in between paragraphs, I am reminded that even things that don’t belong always belong somewhere. My home has become the island of misfit toys and everyone is welcome.
Shannon Carpenter is the father of three and has been a stay-at-home dad since 2008. He's the author of the book "Stay-at-Home Dad: Your Essential Manual for Being an Awesome FullTime Father.” as well as the co-host of Dadhouse Pod. In addition to his writing on parenting, he is also a humor writer trained through the famous Second City. And we all know that having a sense of humor is essential to surviving parenthood!
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“Dearest friends, I am overjoyed that this festive time of year has returned, and Her Majesty Queen Victoria and I will soon be basking in the warmth of a Skaneateles Christmas.”
These are the words of Charles Dickens as he opens the Skaneateles Dickens Festival —now celebrating its 31st year of bringing joy and happiness to locals, visitors, and the merchants of this charming lakeside town south of Syracuse.
For the past 25 years, Jim Greene has been the producer, director, and the star as he transforms himself into Charles Dickens every Christmas season.
“This is interactive theater, and I tell all the cast members to look people in
the eye and make a connection,” Greene explained. “I consider it a real privilege that we are helping to bring kindness and warmth to the season. We are doing our little part to bring goodness into the world.”
“Every year, I feel like the mayor of Skaneateles during the festival season,” he said. “The whole festival brings positivity to so many people. The human connection is especially important these days and we talk with visitors—in character of course.”
The year portrayed in the Festival is 1842 and Dickens is visiting the community with Queen Victoria. They wander about, studying local folks and their habits and customs to gather material for his soon to be epic tale: A Christmas Carol.
The goal of the cast is to have fun and bring the era alive. For visitors, the goal is to become absorbed in the Christmas spirit and maybe check out the local stores for the perfect holiday gift.
“I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year.” These were the enduring words that Dickens himself wrote in one of the best known and favorite classic tales of the season.
Greene lived in Florida before coming to New York and has a stint working with Disney in Orlando on his resume. He spends off holiday season time involved with Renaissance Festivals in New York and elsewhere in the Northeast. He lives in Dryden near Ithaca.
Although the citizens of Skaneateles do not celebrate the holiday throughout the year, it is celebrated in a grand fashion in the weeks leading up to Christmas. The festival begins this year at noon on the Friday after Thanksgiving (Nov. 29) with a special parade. It is billed as the “World’s Smallest Christmas Parade.”
“I tell everyone not to be late because the parade just lasts a few minutes,” laughs Hilary Fenner, execu-
Skaneateles Dickens Festival
Tiny Tim, A Christmas Carol
Scrooge & Charles Dickens (Jim Greene)
tive director of the Skaneateles Foundation and the Chamber of Commerce. “The parade is basically a welcome to Charles Dickens and the other characters.”
The festival continues each weekend before Christmas as well as Christmas Eve afternoon. There is music everywhere, live performances by musicians, caroling at the lakeside gazebo, roasted chestnuts, hot chocolate, street theater, and readings from Mother Goose for young children. Children can even visit with Father Christmas each weekend from noon to 2 pm.
There are more than 50 performers including some children who are all in costume and remain in character. Some of the characters you are likely to meet besides Dickens and Queen Victoria are Scrooge, Jacob Marley, Father Christmas, Tiny Tim, and the ghosts of Christmas Past and Present.
As an added feature of the festival, cast members annually perform a Christmas radio play at the Auburn Public Theater in nearby Auburn. This year the performance will be It’s a Wonderful Life on Dec. 21 at 7 pm.
merchants have festival specials which also encourage shoppers.”
Since the festival began, new inns have opened. But the Sherwood Inn across the street from the lake has been welcoming travelers for generations. It was 1807 when Isaac Sherwood, a giant of a man said to tip the scales at well over 300 pounds, built a tavern here as a way station along his stagecoach route carrying passengers and goods from Auburn seven miles west and Syracuse nineteen miles northeast.
Skaneateles has long been a popular summer destination but, before the festival began, merchants had a difficult time keeping their stores open during the cold winter months.
“When we started, it was quite small with some merchants dressing up as Dickens characters and greeting visitors,” Fenner said. “Now we have a wonderful vibrant downtown year-round. It is so exciting when a merchant will tell me that he had the best day of the entire year during one of the festival days. Many
The Sherwood is one of the oldest continuously operating inns in New York and has led the way in the revival of this Finger Lakes community. It is also a perfect spot for an overnight or a meal during the festival.
Other nearby holiday festivals:
Corning, just a two-hour drive from Buffalo, has been gaining a reputation for its Crystal City Christmas events. The Parade of Lights kicks off the celebration on Saturday, Nov. 30 at 7:30pm with about 50 participants, including marching bands, beautifully designed floats, and Santa Claus on a horse-drawn carriage. The parade lights up historic Market Street.
There will also be horse drawn carriage rides for children ($5) and adults ($10) on most weekend days during the holiday season.
The city’s 50th Annual Sparkle will be Dec. 7 from 5-9pm. The event attracts thousands of visitors and locals who come for the holiday treats, crafts and local shop specialties, carol-
continued on page 22
Crystal City Christmas
Father Christmas
COMING UP IN DECEMBER 2024
Exploring Educa tion
FAMILY TRAVEL
ers, dancers, performers and the sweet sounds from children’s choirs.
Santa Claus will be welcoming children in his Crystal House beginning Nov. 29 and continuing through Dec. 23 on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.
The famed Corning Museum of Glass is free to all the weekend of December 7-8. There will be a special appearance by Mr. and Mrs. Claus, cookie decorating, musical performances and guided tours, special holiday glassmaking projects and special holiday creations in the Amphitheater Hot Shop. Take a photo with the Museum’s 14-foot Glass Ornaments Tree, Glass Feat, Tree of Life Menorah, Kwanzaa Setting and Advent Wreath.
awards and the American Bus Association has long recognized the Winter Festival of Lights as one of its Top Internationally Known Events.
Focused on providing fun for all ages with family-friendly displays and entertainment, the Festival continues to expand by adding new displays and lighting. Illuminations include more than 50 larger than life displays and dozens of trees wrapped in lights along the Niagara Parkway, including Canadiana wildlife displays, the two-story tall Zimmerman Fountain, 40-foot light tunnel, castle and much more.
The Fireworks series will kick off on opening night, Nov. 16 and continue every Friday and Saturday evening at 8 pm. Nightly shows will take place over the holidays from December 27 through the finale on Jan. 5.
We reach 55,000 of them each month!
Showcase your school, organization or education-related business to tens of thousands of WNY parents in this annual pull-out section. Editorial content focuses on various aspects of education in WNY, targeted to elementary grades and higher, including college.
DEADLINES:
Space Reservation: Monday, November 11, 2024
Copy & Materials: Tuesday, November 12, 2024
For more information, Paul Kline at 716-836-3486 Want to reach local parents who
One of the special features of visiting Corning during the holiday season is the opportunity to create one-of-a-kind glass gifts including ornaments, frames, pendants, vases, nightlights, windchimes, and clocks.
Children as young as four years old can create their special present for grandparents, parents or other family or friends. Think how surprised a grandparent will be with a framed photo of a grandchild with the frame made by the child. Make reservations as soon as possible since glass making is very popular during the holiday season.
Closer to home, across the Niagara River in Niagara Falls, Ontario is the Niagara Falls Winter Festival of Lights. This year it runs from November 16 to January 5. It was founded in 1982 and bills itself as Canada’s largest illumination festival and the premiere illumination festival in North America, attracting more than one million visitors annually.
The free festival was created to extend what had been a summer only tourism season in Niagara Falls. During the first season, the festival had a small collection of lighting displays near the falls and attracted about 250,000 visitors.
Each year the festival grew in duration and lights, displays and interactive experiences. Today the festival has become an annual winter tradition for family and friends. It has won multiple
Chocolate lovers should not miss the self-guided Hot Chocolate Trail with 22 stops featuring 36 unique and delicious flavors to savor with both nonalcoholic and alcoholic options.
Of course, Santa returns to the Festival on select nights for complimentary photos at the Niagara Parks Floral Showhouse. There is also a coloring contest for kids with a surprise prize pack from Niagara Falls Tourism and the opportunity to have your coloring pages featured on the festival website.
Travel Tip of the Month: For information on the Dickens Festival and Skaneateles visit skaneateles.com or call 315-685-0552.
For Corning and its holiday celebrations visit gafferdistrict.com or call 607937-6292. Or visit exploresteuben.com or call 607-936-6544.
For the Niagara Falls Winter Festival of Lights visit niagarafallstourism. com or wfol.com. Call 905-356-6061 or 800-563-2557.
Deborah Williams lives in Holland, NY and is a veteran travel writer whose work has appeared in national and international publications. She is the recipient of the Society of American Travel Writers’ Lowell Thomas Gold Travel Writing Award.
and now I love doing it. It’s become one of my new traditions. My recommendation is to buy tickets in advance because they’re always busy. I’ve started doing this even when I have my kids, and they have joined in on creating new memories with me.
8. Bake extra bread. I love making zucchini bread and pumpkin bread as part of my meal at Thanksgiving. I started making extra batter and making tiny loaves to give away to friends. They’re cute and taste amazing. Plus, my friends feel special when I drop off an unexpected loaf of bread ‘just because.’
9. I cut out paper in the shapes of leaves and stick them on my kids’ bedroom doors with random things that I’m thankful for about each of them. They wake up on Thanksgiving morning (or, when they come back from their dad’s if it’s not my year to have them) to find their doors covered in things like, “I love your drawings.” “I’m thankful for you feeding the dogs every day.” “I’m thankful you’re my daughter.”
10. Register for your first Turkey Trot. I can’t say that I have done this every year but for several years, I have run in a turkey trot. They are usually the morning of Thanksgiving and, all I can say is, it feels better to have run in the morning and then eat whatever you want for your meal. It all evens out.
If you find yourself alone this Thanksgiving, please know that there are things you can do to help yourself not feel so lonely. If you would rather be by yourself, honor that. If you decide that being around people is better for your mental health, then be proactive in setting that up. Pretty soon, you will be making new traditions at Thanksgiving and will learn how to accept it as your new normal.
Meagan Ruffing is a parenting journalist, mental health therapist, and single mom who tries to do her best each day. She doesn’t always get things right but continually strives to do better.
PICK OF THE LITERATURE
— by Dr. Donna Phillips
November is the month of thankfulness and gratitude. It is the time when we gather together with friends and family to celebrate the bounty of the season and the blessings that we have. This year it is a special time to gather together as a country to celebrate the freedom to vote. While there are many different points of view and reasons for decisions, the foundation of this is essential to what has made our country exceptional. There is no doubt that our children are probably aware of the upcoming event, but what do they know about history of voting in our country? There are some wonderful books available to help educate and enlighten all of us and some that are even fun and creative. Here are some of the latest.
Buffalo’s own Ani DiFranco has written a wonderful introduction to voting for young children. Show Up and Vote (Rise Publishing, New York, 2024, $18.99), illustrated by Rachelle Baker, introduces us to the voting process through the eyes of a young girl. In this book she accompanies her mother to the voting site and on the way, she learns about the “whys,” “whats,” and “hows” of voting. Much like Ani did in her childhood, this main character learns by watching, listening, and
participating in the process as her mother explains to her and talks to others in the voting center and in the community. Written in a style similar to Ani’s song lyrics, the reader is invited into the story through rhyme and rhythm. While it is simple in its presentation, it is deep in the message that voting is an essential right, privilege, and obligation that we have to voice our concerns about the direction our country will head for the next 4 years.
The Day Madear Voted (Nancy Paulsen Books, New York, 2024, $18.99), written by Wade Hudson and illustrated by Don Tate, chronicles the efforts that removed the barriers that kept Black people from voting. As two young boys accompany their mother to the voting booth in 1969 for the first time that she is allowed to vote, she explains why the day is so important to her and to her community. Her sons continue the tradition and celebrate her sense of pride and accomplishment as the years pass. Then in 2008, Madear voted for the first Black candidate in the history of our country. The author’s and the illustrator’s notes at the end of the book provide their perspective on these events as they recount their own families’ experiences. This book is written in a way that
will inform and engage young readers as well as remind adults of the significance of this chapter in our history.
Enough about the seriousness of election. How about some humor and fun as only Mad Libs can provide, while learning about parts of speech! Mad Libs Vote (Penguin Publishers, New York, 2024, $5.99) by Roger Price and Leonard Stern is a hilarious and creative way to engage and inform the participants. With topics like George Washington, Diplomacy, The Constitution, Political Speech, Mount Rushmore, The Gettysburg Address, A Great Debate, and many more, you are sure to laugh at the incidental humor you create. You begin by completing a list of words as per the directions for each story. After everyone has created their list, the fun begins as the story is read and participants share their words. What a fun way to encourage language development, engage family members or a classroom, and invite all into humor that might well give us a lighter look at the election season.
If you enjoy Mad Libs Vote, you are sure to appreciate Presidential Mad Libs (Penguin Publishers, New York, 2024, $5.99) by Douglas Yacka. In this version, you will be invited to complete stories like So, You Want to Be President, Presidential Firsts, Air Force One, Honest Abe, Roosevelt Vs. Roosevelt, A Letter from George, and more to engage
and amuse you. Humor can open minds and doors to exploration and conversation. This will be a great way to invite all into the fun and frenzy of the election.
With a national election coming only every 4 years, involving your whole family in the conversations and preparations would be a way to create a deeper understanding and appreciation for this process. Perhaps start with a trip to your local library or bookstore to explore books on the topic. Learn to listen respectfully to multiple sides of the issues and seek clarity through exploring online and local party affiliates and groups. Clarify your concerns and needs and allow for the difference that others will have. As these books show us, respect and understanding begin at home. From there it can go out into the community to create a better world for all of us.
Dr. Donna Phillips is an associate professor in the College of Education at Niagara University where her specialty is literacy and children’s literature. She lives on Grand Island, NY and is the mother of two adult children and the grandmother of one.
Helping Kids Understand Adoption: An Age-by-Age Guide
— by Rebecca Hastings
November is National Adoption Awareness month
Adoption is a wonderful thing, but understanding how to talk about it with kids can seem daunting. Navigating conversations about adoption with children requires sensitivity, age-appropriate information, and an understanding of their developmental stages. Each age group comes with unique perspectives and questions.
Whether you are talking about adoption within your own family or helping kids understand adoption in general, these ideas will help. This guide provides insights and tips for helping kids understand adoption at different stages of their growth.
Infants and Toddlers (0-2 years)
At this age, children do not grasp complex concepts about family structure. They understand what family looks like from their own experiences. Create a loving and nurturing environment from the start to promote healthy relationships and development.
• Establish a Secure Attachment: Focus on building a strong bond between the child and adoptive parents. Consistent care and affection create a foundation of trust.
• Use Simple Language: Introduce adoption-related terms like “forever family” or “ad-
opted” in a natural and positive context. For example, during storytime, include books thatcelebrate diverse families.
adoption positively. These can serve as conversation starters and help kids comfortably relate to adoption.
Preschoolers (3-5 years)
Preschoolers are curious and often ask questions about their origins or that of others. Sometimes these questions can seem blunt or inappropriate. Give them appropriate language and avoid extreme reactions to things they say or ask. Instead, proactively share information and correct gently to ensure respectful conversations.
• Introduce Basic Concepts of Family: Explain that families come in all shapes and sizes. Emphasize that love and care are what defines a family.
• Utilize Age-Appropriate Books and Media: Select books, TV shows, or movies that depict
Early Elementary (6-8 years)
This is when children start to grasp more complex ideas about family dynamics. As you help them understand adoption, and family in general, consider how to provide information that is easy to understand.
• Provide Clear, Honest Information: Offer age-appropriate details about adoption, addressing questions about birth parents, if applicable. Emphasize that adoption is often a loving choice made by birth parents. You can also express that sometimes the circumstances of adoption are hard to understand, but that doesn’t mean it
is bad. Adoption is another way to build a family.
• Encourage Open Communication: Let the child know that they can ask questions and express their feelings about adoption without judgment. This is true whether it is about themselves or others.
Late Elementary (9-11 years)
Pre-teens are developing a more nuanced understanding of family relationships and identity. Whether about themselves or their friends, kids may want to know about things that they are not emotionally prepared for. Try to find ways to explain things without overwhelming them with information that would be inappropriate at their age.
• Explore Identity and Heritage: Help the child explore their identity, including their cultural heritage and how it fits into their family.
• Address Tough Questions: Be prepared for more complex questions about adoption. Provide honest answers while considering the child's emotional readiness.
Early Adolescents (12-14 years)
Adolescence brings a deeper awareness of identity and the desire for independence. Kids in this stage may begin to demand more information about their story, wondering if you’ve held things back. They may also ask emotionally difficult questions. If they are wondering about peers, they may want private information. Be present and supportive as you walk with them through understanding appropriate information for their circumstances.
• Foster Independence: Encourage the adolescent’s autonomy and self-expression. Support their exploration of identity, including their feelings about adoption and family.
• Offer Emotional Support: Ac-
knowledge any feelings they have or questions about their adoption story. Provide a safe space for them to express themselves.
Late Adolescents (15-18 years)
Teenagers may grapple with a wide range of emotions regarding their adoption or that of friends. Some do this outwardly, asking lots of questions and expressing their ideas. Others may keep their thoughts in. You can seek outside support if your child has trouble expressing their thoughts and feelings.
• Encourage Self-Advocacy: Help them develop the skills to communicate about their adoption story with confidence if they wish to do so.
• Acknowledge Their Feelings: Validate any complex emotions they may have about adoption. Offer them resources for processing these feelings.
You Can Help Your Child Understand and Process Adoption
Understanding adoption at different stages of a child's development is crucial for providing the right level of information and support. By tailoring conversations and resources to each age group, you can help your child navigate the idea of adoption. Whether it’s their story
or trying to understand that of someone else, you can help them process their feelings with confidence, compassion, and love.
LET’S TALK ABOUT ADOPTION
Talking with Kids Who Are Adopted
Talking to children about adoption can be sensitive, but creating a supportive and open environment is key. Here are some age-appropriate adoption conversation starters for kids:
For Younger Children (Ages 4-7):
• Would you like to hear the special story of how you came into our family?
• Do you know how much we love you and how excited we were to bring you home?
• Have you ever wondered what it means to be adopted?
• How do you feel when we talk about your adoption?
For Older Children (Ages 8-12):
• Do you have any questions about your adoption or where you came from?
• Would you like to talk about the family that helped bring you into the world?
• What do you think being adopted means for you and who you are?
• How do you think your life is similar or different from your friends because you were adopted?
For Teens:
• Do you ever think about your birth parents or where you came from?
continued on page 29
TWEENS & TEENS
— by Cheryl Maguire
How to Support Your Middle School Child When Friendships
Don’t Last
When my tween girl was navigating middleschool friendships, she seemed to have a new friend group every week. There always seemed to be a lot of drama over who was getting along with one another. As it turns out, this is a normal phase of development among tweens while they learn to form healthy friendships in middle school.
“At this age, kids are figuring out who they are and where they belong,” says Maria Sanders, a clinical social worker and certified parent coach. “Socially speaking, they think, ‘I am not a little kid and I don’t belong with my parents and my siblings so I’ve got to find my new people.’”
Here are some ways friend relationships can change and how you can best support these changes.
WHEN PARENTING TWEENS, KEEP IN MIND …
Tween friendships can be intense. Between the ages of 9-11, tweens are usually approaching puberty, and with that comes a rush of preteen hormones. All those hormones can supercharge emotions and make relationships more intense at this time in their lives when they’re learning who their friends are and where they belong.
At this age, “It’s developmentally appropriate for tweens to value their peer group and to push away adults,” says Caroline Maguire, a family coach in Massachusetts and the author of Why Will No One Play With Me? Typically, their friends become the most important emotional relationship for them as they try to be more independent from their parents and siblings. “The peer group becomes the most important factor in their lives,” Maguire says.
Sanders agrees that as tweens move away from their comfortable family relationships, they begin to try to find this same feeling with their friends. “Developmentally, they are supposed to let go of that safety and comfort from their parents, but they still need it. So, they’re finding that in their friendships,” Sanders says.
Your tween is probably wondering, where do I fit in?
As tweens develop, they are trying out different personalities and figuring out who they are and where they fit in among their peers. They may act differently when they are with different friends and they might also try to spend time with different people.
“The first step is leaving the nest. The second step is figuring out which group they are going to be a part of. And then the third step is figuring out where they fit within that group,” says Sanders.
Social media can negatively influence their mood and mental health.
As tweens try to figure out who they are, they might turn to social media to see how other tweens interact with one another. “Being on social media constantly can be a negative experience for teenagers and can affect their mood and cause mental health problems according to the latest research,” says Maguire.
WAYS YOU CAN BE SUPPORTIVE OF YOUR TWEEN
Don’t bad mouth your tween’s friends.
If one of their friends is mean to them or to another child, your initial reaction might be to say the person being mean isn’t a good friend. But Sanders suggests you refrain from saying negative comments and from offering your opinion.
“I think the hardest thing is not responding because we want to say, ‘Oh, yeah, she was so evil and I agree you should never speak to her again.’”
The first reason it’s important not to say anything negative is because they might end up being friends again. “Don’t directly criticize your tween’s friends, but allow them to examine their friendships without judgment,” says Maguire. You also don’t want to offer opinions since you want to enable your tween to figure out the situation on their own.
“What we want to do is ask them the right questions, so that they are thinking about these things on their own,” says Sanders.
You might ask them, “What are the pros and cons of this friendship?” or “What do you like or dislike about this friend?”
Just listen to your tween’s answers. When you ask questions to help your child think about their friendships, listen to their answers. “Sometimes not saying anything can open the door for them to express and share more,” says Sanders.
In addition to listening silently, you can also try reflecting back what you
heard your child say. Reflective listening can help your tween figure out how to handle their friendship dilemma and at the same time improve your relationship with them. “Your goal is to build trust and intimacy with your tween, not to lecture them,” says Maguire.
Try not to take sides.
Sometimes you might want to offer an explanation of what their friend might have been thinking or feeling to try to build your tween’s empathy. But that can backfire. Your preteen may feel as if you are “taking their friend’s side.”
If you’re tempted to say something like “Oh, well, it could have been because of this,” Sanders recommends you say something like this, instead: “Why do you think that your friend behaved that way?” Or, “Where do you think she’s coming from?”
Be a team player.
At this stage in your child’s life, you may find more success parenting them if you concentrate on working together rather than discipline. “We can help kids set boundaries with electronics, friends, and areas of their life by working with them collaboratively,” says Maguire. “Parents are really moving from someone who tells children what to do to someone who collaborates with tweens to help them make their decisions.”
Collaborating with your preteen allows you to model how a healthy relationship works. “We need to be involved as a coach or a shepherd and remember the end goal which is that, as they enter the world, they have these key problem-solving skills and then continue to have a bond with us and feel comfortable coming to their parents to problem solve,” says Maguire.
Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and is the mother of twins and a daughter. Her writing has been published in The New York Times, National Geographic, Washington Post, Parents Magazine, AARP, Healthline, Your Teen Magazine, and many other publications. She is a professional member of ASJA. You can find her on X at @CherylMaguire05
HELPING KIDS UNDERSTAND ADOPTION
• How does being adopted influence how you see your future or relationships?
• Are there any parts of being adopted that you find hard or confusing?
• How can we help you feel more comfortable talking about your adoption?
It's helpful to approach these conversations openly, allowing the child to guide the discussion as much as possible. Always reassure them that their feelings are valid, and there’s no wrong way to feel or think about adoption.
Talking with Kids Who Are Not Adopted
When talking to kids who aren’t adopted about adoption, it's important to foster understanding and empathy, while encouraging open-mindedness. Here are some conversation starters to help explain adoption to non-adopted children:
For Younger Children (Ages 4-7):
• Do you know that some families are created through adoption?
• Have you ever met someone who is adopted?
• How would you feel if your friend was adopted?
For Older Children (Ages 8-12):
• Do you know what adoption is?
• Some kids have two families: one that gave birth to them and another that raises them with love. What do you think that might feel like?
• Being adopted is just one part of who a person is. What do you think is the most important part of being in a family?
• Some of your friends might have been adopted. How do you think their experiences might be the same or different from yours?
For Teens:
• Adoption is one way people find family. How do you think it shapes a person’s identity compared to being raised by birth parents?
• Do you think being adopted changes how someone feels about family? Why do you think some people might explore their birth family when they get older?
• What do you think might be challenging about being adopted?
• How can we be supportive of adopted friends or family members?
These questions promote empathy, encourage kids to understand different family dynamics, and offer a chance to talk about the importance of kindness and respect.
HAPPENINGS Holiday
Buffalo And Erie County Botanical Gardens
2655 South Park Ave., Buffalo 716-827-1584
www.buffalogardens.com
Santa Claus is coming to town, and he's making a stop at the Buffalo and Erie County Botanical Gardens! Visit us on November 30 from 10am-2pm to meet Santa and take a scenic holiday photo. The vibrant colors of our annual Poinsettia Exhibit make the perfect backdrop for your pictures and are sure to fill you with holiday spirit. Santa will also be at the Botanical Gardens on November 29 from 5-9pm during a very special edition of Gardens After Dark. See our magically illuminated greenhouses, give Santa a letter, and escape from Buffalo's cold winter nights in our warm conservatory.
The Buffalo Zoo’s Breakfast with Santa
300 Parkside Ave., Buffalo 716-837-3900
www.buffalozoo.org
Tis the season for Breakfast with Santa at the Buffalo Zoo! Western New York's holiday tradition is back for another year. Come to the Zoo bright and early to enjoy a breakfast buffet as you meet Santa and our amazing animal ambassador friends. Once you've satisfied your holiday appetite, stay and enjoy the Zoo—admission is included with your ticket! Breakfast with Santa takes place December 14 and 21. There are two sessions: 9:00 AM or 11:30 AM. Seating in our Children's Resource Center is first come, first served. Reserve your spot today.
Dickens Christmas
Various Locations, Skaneateles
315-685-0552
www.skaneateles.com
Welcome to Skaneateles: The Year is 1842. Dickens Christmas is an enchanting holiday event that brings "A Christmas Carol" to life. Celebrating its 31st year, Dickens Christmas begins the day after Thanksgiving with Bright Friday and continues weekends through Christmas Eve. Event times are 12-4 pm and 12-2:30 pm on Christmas Eve. We invite you to take advantage of our free shuttle to ensure a stress-free day! Join us in Skaneateles for caroling, chestnuts, theater shows, and family-friendly activities this Holiday Season! There is no cost to attend this event and it’s appropriate for all ages!
Herschell Carrousel Factory Museum
180 Thompson St., North Tonawanda 716-693-1885
www.carrouselmuseum.org
Come visit the Herschell Carrousel Factory Museum during the holiday season! Open Wednesday through Saturday 10am to 4pm, Sunday 12pm to 4pm, until December 30th. Experience the past and present of Western New York Amusement! The museum features two historic carousels, over ten band organs, and interactive exhibits for all ages. Our gift shop includes items for all ages, and is a great stop for unique gifts. This holiday season Santa will be riding the carousel at our ticketed events on November 30th, December 7th, & December 14th. To plan your visit or for more information please visit www.carrouselmuseum.org.
Niagara Falls Culinary Institute Gingerbread Village
28 Old Falls St., Niagara Falls 716-210-2525
www.niagaracc.suny.edu/gingerbread/
Introducing the NEW and Improved Gingerbread Village, replacing the large house traditionally crafted by the talented students at the Niagara Falls Culinary Institute (NFCI). This year, explore an enchanting village filled with tabletop gingerbread creations from students, staff, professionals, and even children as part of our exciting gingerbread competition. Wander through this sugary paradise and marvel at the incredible displays! With live entertainment, cookie decorating, yule log classes, and chef demos, there’s something for everyone. Make sure to say hello to Santa, write him a letter and place it in the North Pole mailbox. Don’t miss out on purchasing gingerbread cookie decorating kits for the kids!!
The Polar Express at Medina Railroad Museum
530 West Ave., Medina
585-798-6106
www.medinarailroad.com
Set to the sounds of the motion picture soundtrack, passengers will relive the magic as they are whisked away on THE POLAR EXPRESS™. On board, the conductor will punch your golden ticket, hot chocolate and a delicious cookie are served by chefs, then read along with the Polar Express book. At the North Pole, Santa will join us and give each child a sleigh bell. Families are encouraged to wear their pajamas! Museum admission included. Food vendor on site with several meal and beverage options. All items purchased may be brought onto the train. No outside food or beverages allowed.
Town of Cheektowaga Holiday Events
Various Locations, Cheektowaga 716-897-7207
www.cheektowagarec.org
Celebrate the holiday season in the Town of Cheektowaga with three magical events! Start with Winterfest, where you can visit with Santa, dance to Christmas music, and enjoy crafts, food, and a stunning fireworks display. Next, skate with Santa at Christmas on Ice and warm up with a free skating session when you donate new winter gear. End the season with Sleigh & Play, a horse drawn wagon ride through dazzling light displays, complete with a special visit from Santa. Don't miss out on these enchanting experiences! Register now at www.cheektowagarec.org
The
Whitworth Ferguson Planetarium
Science and Mathematics Complex –Buffalo State University
Start new holiday traditions at the planetarium with an immersive, whimsical storytelling of winter as a time of rest and renewal in The Longest Night: A Winter’s Tale. This program includes an explanation of why winter nights are longest followed by a brief tour of the winter night sky with our Planetarium Educator. Also join us for a laser music experience! Laser Taylor Swift: Through the Eras returns for two weekends only before we get into the holiday spirit with Laser Holidays. These laser music experiences are expected to sell out! More show and ticket information is available at WFPlanetarium.Eventbrite.com
Holiday
HAPPENINGS
RAISING DIGITAL KIDS
— by Mike Daugherty
Navigating College Admissions: A Parent's Guide to Helping Your Child Succeed
The college admissions process can feel overwhelming for both students and parents. With countless institutions to choose from, a complex application system, and the ever-present concern about how to fund this significant investment, families often find themselves in need of guidance. High school counselors offer some support, but for many families, outside resources can be invaluable.
The landscape of college admissions continues to evolve, with new tools, strategies, and considerations for students and parents alike. This guide is designed to help parents better understand the admissions process and make informed decisions to support their children in this critical phase of life.
CHOOSING THE RIGHT COLLEGE
lection process, making it a great starting point for family discussions. Similar to Naviance, SCOIR is another commonly used tool. Your child should be very familiar with the tools their school is using.
CollegeVine, a more comprehensive tool, has become a go-to for students aiming to take a data-driven approach to college applications. The site offers personalized guidance based on the student’s academic profile and extracurriculars. With its Chancing Engine, CollegeVine uses over 100,000 data points to estimate a student's likelihood of admission to various schools, offering valuable insight into where students might be a good fit.
THE IMPORTANCE OF HOLISTIC APPLICATIONS
As competition for college admission increases, many institutions have shifted to a holistic review process, where academic achievement is just one piece of the puzzle. Schools are now looking for students who demonstrate leadership, community involvement, and a strong sense of purpose.
One of the first steps in the college admissions journey is choosing the right institution. While this may seem daunting given the thousands of options available, several online platforms can help families narrow down their choices.
Encourage your child to start developing a portfolio early in high school. This could include a mix of extracurricular activities, volunteer work, internships, or personal projects. Colleges in 2024 are particularly interested in students who can show initiative and resilience—traits that are highly valued in today’s rapidly changing world.
Naviance remains a commonly used tool in many high schools, offering resources for both students and parents. The platform helps students research colleges, assess their academic fit, and explore career options. The parent portal provides additional insight into the se-
The rise of generative AI tools, such as ChatGPT, has also impacted college admissions. Some students may turn to AI tools for writing essays or answering application prompts. While these tools can help generate ideas, it’s crucial that students present authentic personal stories. Admissions officers are keenly aware of when writing sounds inauthentic or overly polished. Parents should encourage their children to use these tools sparingly and focus on presenting their true selves in their applications.
NAVIGATING THE APPLICATION PROCESS
For most students, the Common Application (Common App) remains the central platform for applying to multiple colleges at once. In 2024, more than 900 institutions now accept the Common App, streamlining the application process for students applying to several schools.
The Common App requires students to provide basic biographical information, submit a personal statement, and answer institution-specific questions. One important note for 2024: many colleges are expanding the types of questions they ask in response to the increasing use of AI and other technologies in education. Students should be prepared to answer questions about their independent learning, adaptability, and ability to collaborate with diverse groups—skills that have become more relevant in today’s digital world.
Parents can play a crucial role in helping students stay organized throughout the application process. Encourage your child to start early, keep track of deadlines, and save their work frequently within the Common App. This ensures a smoother, less stressful experience as deadlines approach.
PAYING FOR COLLEGE: FINANCIAL AID AND SCHOLARSHIPS
Financing college education is one of the biggest concerns for families. In 2024, the cost of college continues to rise, but there are several resources available to help ease the financial burden.
The Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) remains the primary tool for accessing federal financial aid. The FAFSA has undergone updates to simplify the process for families. Parents should complete the FAFSA as early as possible, ideally in October of their child’s senior year, to ensure access to the maximum amount of aid. The FAFSA4caster tool, available on the Federal Student Aid website, can give you an
early estimate of your potential aid eligibility, helping you plan ahead.
For families seeking additional funding, scholarships remain a critical resource. Platforms like Scholly and ScholarSnapp help students connect with thousands of scholarship opportunities. Scholly, in particular, uses AI to match students with scholarships based on their unique profile, while ScholarSnapp integrates directly with the Common App, allowing students to reuse application information for multiple scholarship applications.
Many scholarships are increasingly targeting students with specific skills or interests, such as STEM fields, community service, or leadership. Encouraging your child to pursue passions outside of academics can open up more scholarship opportunities.
CONSIDERING COLLEGE CONSULTANTS
While many families feel confident navigating the admissions process on their own, others may seek additional support from college consultants. These professionals can provide personalized guidance on everything from selecting schools to writing application essays. The number of online consulting services continues to grow, offering more affordable options for families.
One option to consider is Empowerly, a platform specializing in college admissions for high school students. Empowerly provides students with personalized guidance from former admissions officers, essay reviewers, and datadriven insights to help strengthen their applications. The service offers a vari-
ety of packages based on the student’s needs, including help with essay writing, interview prep, and overall application strategy.
Empowerly’s platform includes access to a College Admissions Calculator, which uses real-time data to assess a student’s chances at various institutions. This service is especially useful for families looking for detailed, one-on-one support throughout the entire college admissions process, from school selection to scholarship advice.
Before deciding to hire a consultant, consider your family’s needs. If your child is applying to highly competitive schools or needs help organizing their applications, a consultant may be worth the investment. However, many free online resources, such as those offered by CollegeVine, can also provide substantial guidance.
FINAL THOUGHTS FOR PARENTS
The college admissions process has always been complex, and 2024 is no exception. However, with careful planning and the right tools, parents can help their children navigate this important milestone with confidence. Start early, explore all your options, and encourage your child to present the best version of themselves in their applications. While the journey may be challenging, the end result—a college that aligns with your child’s academic and personal goals— will be worth it.
Mike Daugherty is a husband, father of three young children, author, speaker, Google Innovator, and possible Starbucks addict. He is a certified educational technology leader who has served in a variety of roles through his twenty-year career in public education. Currently, Mike is the Director of Technology for the Chagrin Falls Exempted Village School district in Northeast Ohio. As an IT director he has developed creative, well thought out solutions that positively impact teaching and learning.
DEAR TEACHER
– by Peggy Gisler and Marge Eberts
Helping all parents make their children’s educational experience as successful as possible
The Benefits of Having ADHD
Question: My son has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. I have found it very upsetting to have learned of all of the downsides to this neurological disorder. Are there are upsides? – Upset
Answer: Unfortunately, the latest statistics on the diagnosis of ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) show that 11.3 percent of children ages 5-17 have ADHD. Of this number, boys, like your son, have a higher prevalence of this disorder than girls. Of this diagnosis, both boys and girls in the 12-17 years age range were more likely to have been diagnosed than younger children between the ages of 5-11.
Those who have been diagnosed with ADHD may have difficulty focusing on tasks, have hyperactive tendencies as well as an inability to control their impulses. The severity of ADHD symptoms does vary in how it affects children’s lives at school and at home. While all this sounds quite daunting, it is important for both those who have this diagnosis and their parents to also realize that these children may have skills that allow them to excel in certain areas. These are skills that children without this diagnosis may not have and they have some benefits. Here are some of these strengths along with their benefits:
High Energy
One of the common symptoms of ADHD is hyperactivity. While this can be disruptive in many situations, it is a strong positive for successful participation in sports and other physical activities as those diagnosed with ADHD have energy to burn.
Conversational Skills
Those with ADHD may be very talkative, especially if they have an inability to focus. Often, they can have interesting conversations with both people they know as well as strangers. The benefit here is success in social situations. At school, it is perfect for answering questions in class, leading group discussions, and later on, being on a debate team.
Impulsive Behavior
One of the characteristics of ADHD is spontaneous behavior. This can lead those diagnosed with ADHD to keep their lives and those around them interesting. They are not afraid to tackle doing what appeals to them at the moment. It can involve seeking out adventure and building lasting memories.
Ability to Bounce Back
Unfortunately, living with ADHD is challenging — challenges that occur every day. There are so many difficulties that they must overcome. However, working past these difficulties does build resilience and can lead to a stronger character.
Creativity
Those with ADHD often approach tasks differently than those who do not have it. This can lead to their being imaginative problem solvers.
Adventuresomeness
This characteristic of ADHD encourages risk taking and leads to not being afraid to jump into something new.
So Much Help Is now Available for those with ADHD
Children with a recent diagnosis of ADHD and their parents fortunately have so many avenues of help now available to handle the challenges they will face. First of all, teachers, counselors, doctors, and therapists now have the expertise from a lot of experiences to really help them as the knowledge of how to handle ADHD has grown exponentially.
One of the first steps parents of children who have recently been diagnosed need to take is to become as familiar as possible with the resources available online. Become familiar with the following organizations and what they offer to find the ones that best meet your family and child’s needs.
CHADD — This organization has chapters all over the country that connects families of children with ADHD together. It also has explanations of what ADHD is and offers support. You should look at its bi-monthly magazine Atten-
tion for strategies to deal with ADHD as well as the latest clinical information.
LD On Line — Here you can find accurate and helpful information about ADHD in articles, columns by experts, and a resource guide.
Additude Magazine — Here is where you can find answers for any questions that you may have as a parent in dealing with a child with ADHD.
TWO COLLEGE APPLICATION SECRETS
Parents: Applying to college has become an angst-filled event for high school juniors and seniors as well as their parents. Between us, we have seen 10 of our children and grandchildren be admitted to their first-choice colleges.
First of all, we have learned that it is wise for children to visit or investigate online the colleges that may interest them. There are numerous websites, such as those of the College Board and ACT that will guide them in finding colleges that match their abilities and interests. There are also guidebooks that list hundreds of colleges. Doing this during their junior year will eliminate so much indecision in deciding where to apply when application time rolls around.
Secondarily, if your children have their hearts set on one college and it is highly selective, they will have a higher chance of acceptance if they use the early decision option. A higher percentage of students using this option are accepted than those who apply using the regular decision option.
STARRING:
Indiana Woodward
Soloist, New York City Ballet
Daniel Ulbricht
Principal, New York City Ballet
American Academy of Ballet’s Nutcracker is Mesmerizing! “There is so much to love about The Nutcracker and this version in particular. This Nutcracker will leave you in awe from the opening scene until Clara awakens from her magical journey through dreamland.” Buffalo News Review * December 2015
Tickets available at: Center Box Office (Tues. - Fri. Noon - 6pm) and through ticketmaster.com
Parents should send questions and comments to dearteacher@dearteacher. com and visit the dearteacher.com website to learn more about helping their children succeed in school.
After your child turns 3, services can continue at home or in preschool. Contact your school district to arrange this when your child is 2½.
Advocate
Specia l N eeds Insp ire
Growth Abilit y Strategies Empower
Caring for Your Child With Cerebral Palsy (CP): Birth to Age 5
When your child is diagnosed with cerebral palsy (CP), there’s a lot to take on. You have to figure out health care, childcare, and the best path forward for your child. It's normal to feel overwhelmed. But many resources and support services are available to help you.
This 8-step checklist can help you decide which early steps to take.
Step 1: Contact Early Intervention
Kids who have disabilities or delays get extra support to reach developmental milestones (like walking, talking, and selffeeding) through a program called early intervention.
Early intervention offers free therapy services for babies and children up to age 3. Therapy can happen at home or in a daycare setting. Kids can receive:
• physical therapy to improve gross motor skills (like sitting and walking)
• occupational therapy to help with fine motor skills (like picking up small objects)
• speech therapy to improve speech and communication
Each state runs its own early intervention program. Ask your pediatrician for a referral or visit the Early Childhood Technical Assistance Center directory for state-specific contact info.
Step 2: Consider Help With Caregiving
Some kids with CP have trouble eating and swallowing, have seizures, or need medicines at set times. Consider having someone come to your home to help with caregiving. Options include:
A visiting nurse or home health aide. These professionals can help with bathing, dressing, giving medicines, and mealtimes. You can ask your child’s doctor for a prescription and referral for in-home help. Care is usually arranged through your hospital’s care management team, a group of nurses, and social workers. Contact your insurance company to find out if you have coverage for this care.
Respite caregivers. This care can help give you a break. Respite care may be for a few hours a day, or longer, in your home. It’s also available through day programs at a care facility, and may include overnight care when needed. Check the RCH National Respite Network database of respite services (https:// archrespite.org/respitelocator). Funding is available in most states to pay for respite care, but funds are limited and waiting lists are common.
Friends and family. They often want to help, but they don’t know how. Make a list of things they can do — from carpooling to running errands — and let them choose. An online sign-up tool can keep things organized.
Step 3: Look Into Medicaid
Even if you have private health insurance, your child might qualify for Medicaid, the federal health insurance program that provides coverage for people with disabilities. Medicaid can cover treatments that are not covered by your private carrier and can help lower out-of-pocket medical costs.
Step 4: Find Childcare, if Needed
If you’re looking for a childcare provider, be sure that the one you choose has the skills and setting needed to safely handle your child’s needs. By law, childcare providers cannot discriminate against children with disabilities or special health care needs.
In many cases, the state agencies that handle early intervention can provide referrals to appropriate childcare providers.
Step 5: Secure Your Child’s Future
Talk with a lawyer about making legal and financial plans that will protect your child in the future. One who practices special needs law can advise you on the best plan for your family.
Also talk about creating a will that, aside from financial matters, says who would care for your child in the event of your death.
Step 6: Schedule Play Dates and Parent Dates
All children benefit from friendships and play. Here are some ideas:
• Set up play dates with other kids (both with and without CP).
• Tell others about how CP affects your child; mention interests they share.
• Enroll your child in a community program, such as art, music, and sports.
• Also consider joining a support group or social group for parents of children with disabilities. These friends can relate to what you’re going through and offer practical advice. Ask a member of your care team where to meet other families near you.
Step 7: Prepare for School
By age 3, your child may be eligible for educational services through your local school district. Learn more about navigating the grade-school years at https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/ cp-checklist-big-kids.html.
Step 8: Find "Me" Time
Life with young children can be overwhelming, and even more so when kids have disabilities or special health care needs. So, remember to take time for yourself to relax and recharge: take a walk, read a book, exercise, or do a favorite hobby.
Accept help from friends and family members. After a break, you’ll be better able to enjoy time spent with your family.
What Else Should I Know?
As your child grows, stay up to date with all medical visits. This ensures that your child gets the right nutrition, vaccinations, and prescriptions.
Care will change as your child gets older. By knowing what to expect, you’ll feel more confident caring for your child.
Information provided by Nemours Children’s Health through its award-winning Nemours KidsHealth website. For more on this topic, visit KidsHealth.org. Reprinted following Guidelines.
ChoicesWellness
How Being Active Helps Kids With Type 1 Diabetes
As the parent of a child with type 1 diabetes, you may wonder what level of activity is right for them. Some parents want to know how exercise affects blood sugar levels. Other parents may question how to get their child moving and keep them motivated.
Exercise is a healthy habit for every child, including kids with type 1 diabetes. Here’s how to get your child moving and keep them motivated.
Exercise Is Good for Kids With Diabetes
There are many good reasons to keep your child active. Exercise can:
Help keep diabetes in check. Physical activity makes insulin work better in the body. When insulin works better, your child’s blood sugar levels are more likely to stay in a healthy range.
Increase your child’s energy. Kids who are active feel better and have more energy. This can help to boost your child’s mood. Exercise can also help kids relieve stress. It clears the mind and improves concentration, which can be helpful in school.
Build your child’s confidence and sense of accomplishment. Some kids may be hesitant to try a new activity. When your child starts a new activity, be sure to recognize their efforts. For example, you could say, “Wow, you look like you’re having fun riding that bike. I can see how hard you’re concentrating!” As your child learns a new skill, they’ll notice their own progress and gain confidence, boosting their self-esteem.
Whether your child walks the dog, rides a bike, or swims, they can start getting active by moving in small blocks of time and building up slowly. The goal, over time, is to help your child be active for 60 minutes a day on most days. Making a new exercise habit can be hard at first. But when your child starts to have fun and feel the benefits, you both may find it easier to stick to a plan.
Tips to Get Started
Find an activity your child enjoys. Together, look for activities that are right for your child’s age. A fun activity is easier to keep up with. Some kids prefer mixing it up with a variety of activities, like jumping rope, walking, and riding a bike.
Be a role model. Your actions give your child a clear message about what’s important to you. If you like to walk, swim, or shoot hoops at the neighborhood park already, good for you! Your child will see that you value fitness. You’re giving them a positive message that will stay with them for life.
November is Diabetes Awareness Month!
Ask your diabetes care team for advice. It’s likely your child’s health care team told you exercise is good for controlling diabetes. Turn to your care team for ideas and guidance. For example, they may be able to share how other families made exercise a part of their daily routine. And be sure to ask the care team if you need to make changes to your child’s diet, insulin, or blood sugar testing schedule.
Remember to grab the “togo” kit. When your child is exercising or is on the go, be sure they take their supplies with them. Make a “to-go” kit filled with the essentials, and it will be ready when your child needs it. The kit should contain insulin, water, your child’s blood glucose meter, fast-acting glucose in tablet or gel form, and glucagon. Your child will also want to bring some healthy snacks, like fruit or crackers, in case of low blood sugars. At first, it might seem like a lot to remember. But grabbing these items will become a regular part of their habit to be active, just like grabbing their jump rope or bike helmet.
Be mindful of your child’s blood sugar. You already know it’s important to check your child’s blood sugar. When your child is active, you’ll need to check it a few more times: before, during, and after exercise. Exercise can lower blood sugars, and checking it more often will keep you aware. The few extra checks will be worth the health benefits of your child being active. And you’ve got the care team to remind you when to check, what numbers to look for, and what to do if your child’s blood sugar is higher or lower than usual.
Staying active is a key part of keeping kids with type 1 diabetes healthy. Introducing exercise to your child now will let them find out what they enjoy. And you’ll give them a healthy skill they can do throughout their life.
Information provided by Nemours Children’s Health through its awardwinning Nemours KidsHealth website. For more on this topic, visit KidsHealth. org. Reprinted following Guidelines.
November 2 is National Stress Awareness Day, a great occasion to consider what you can do to prevent your kids from becoming stressed. While low levels of stress are normal, stress can be damaging to your kids’ physical, mental, and emotional health if it comes in high doses and persists over time. If that’s the case, what can you do to prevent your kids from becoming overwhelmed by high levels of stress? Experts agree on the following points:
Take Good Care Of Yourself — And Model Stress-Free Behaviors
It might sound counter-intuitive, but the first and most important thing is to take good care of yourself and try not to get stressed. “Stress is really contagious,” says child psychotherapist Lynn Lyons, the author of Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents. “When parents are stressed out, kids are stressed out.” Try to stay calm at all times and model stress-free behaviors to your kids. “Just like flight attendants advise adult passengers to put on their own oxygen masks before assisting others,” says child psychologist Dr. Jamie Howard, “parents need to attend to their own physical and emotional needs to be able to best support their children.” This means that you should avoid being tired or hungry for prolonged periods of time, and that you should seek emotional support from other adults when needed. “If you take care of yourself and schedule time for your own needs,” says professor of child psychology Dr. Amy Przeworski, “your child will learn that self-care is an important part of life. Children learn behaviors from watching their parents. So, when you think about your child’s psychological well-being, think about your own as well.”
— by Tanni Haas, Ph.D.
How To Prevent Your Kids From Becoming Stressed
Educate Your Kids About Stress: What It Is And How To Recognize It
Educate your kids about stress — what it is and how to recognize it. Mrs. Lyons says it’s important that you teach your kids “to understand their own bodies and the physiology of stress.” Specifically, kids need to learn to tell the difference between normal and stressed reactions to what’s happening to them. “While it’s normal for a child’s stomach to feel jumpy on the first day of school,” says Mrs. Lyons, “leaving class
because their stomach hurts or waking up repeatedly with a headache is a sign there’s too much going on.” Child psychotherapist Katie Hurley, the author of The Happy Kids Handbook, agrees: “To help your child connect the dots, draw the outline of a body and pinpoint different places where stress can cause problems.” Explain to your kids all the common physical symptoms of stress, including backaches, headaches, neck aches, and stomachaches, and help them see where and how they react when they are stressed. As Mrs. Hurley puts it, “the more kids understand the connection between symptoms and stress, the better able they will be to seek help.”
"Put on your own oxygen masks before assisting others!"
Help Your Kids Become More Resilient
Besides teaching your kids how to recognize stress, also try to make them more resilient towards it. One useful technique is to teach your kids to take a couple of deep breaths when they are in a stressful situation. “Taking deep breaths can actually have a physiological effect on the body,” says licensed mental health counselor Janice Halloran, the author of The Coping Skills for Kids Workbook. “When you’re stressed, your body goes into fight, flight or freeze mode and your breathing automatically gets more shallow. To trick your body into getting back to a more restful state, take deep breaths.” It’s also useful to practice relaxation techniques with your kids. Dr. Przeworski recommends teaching your kids to imagine themselves somewhere relaxing, like the beach or in a backyard
hammock, and then imagining all “the sounds, smells, and sensations associated with the image.”
You can help make your kids more stress-resilient by encouraging them to confront their fears head on instead of shying away from them. Licensed psychotherapist Amy Morin, the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do, makes this important point with the example of elevators. If your kid is afraid of elevators and you always suggest taking the stairs instead, you are essentially teaching your kid that s/he must be too fragile to take the elevator: “They grow up thinking, ‘I’m not a capable person. If I’m afraid of something, I shouldn’t do it. My parents don’t believe in me, why should I believe in myself?’” Once again, kids model what their parents do. “If children are surrounded by adults who model resilience,” says child psychologist Dr. Lyn O’Grady, “through their own behaviours as well as by explicitly teaching and practicing the so-
cial and emotional skills, they will be more likely to develop resilience themselves.”
Cultivate StressFree Activities
Finally, cultivate stress-free activities for your kids to do whenever they feel like they are about to get stressed. Mrs. Hurley suggests that parents create “stress-free zones” or “relaxation centers” in the home where kids can engage in their favorite activities. Similarly, Mrs. Lyons recommends that parents encourage their kids to engage in activities that are characterized by “pure play” — with no winners or losers, no particular end goal, and therefore no pressure to perform or reason to get stressed, such as outdoor sports like bike riding, hiking, and running.
Tanni Haas is a Professor in the Department of Communication Arts, Sciences & Disorders at the City University of New York – Brooklyn College.
— by Pam Molnar
Nine Meaningful Ways to Honor Veterans
Veterans Day is observed on November 11th and this year, it falls on a Monday. Make it a meaningful three-day weekend by honoring our Veterans in a way that shows how much you appreciate their service.
near you, simply Google “Veterans Day event near me.” If you don’t find any, consider creating your own by inviting local veterans to speak at your place of business or school.
Host a care package drive to send to Operation Gratitude. This is a great project for scouts, churches, businesses and schools. Their website (OperationGratitude.com) offers easy step by step instructions as well as a wish list for the troops. If your group is crafty, you can make decorated pillowcases or paracord lanyards sent in the care packages. Handwritten letters and pictures are also appreciated.
Support a Veteran owned business. Look for storefronts and online stores that proudly display a Veteran Owned decal. A simple search at veteranownedbusiness.com will give you a list of all stores and restaurants in your state and county. If you are a small business owner yourself, consider a discount for customers who are veterans.
Participate in a military cemetery cleanup or flag decoration. These events usually take place on Memorial Day, Veterans Day and near the winter holidays. Contact your local military cemeteries, American Legion or scout troops for dates and times in your area.
Attend a Veterans Day service at a church, American Legion post or community parade. Your presence is valued by those who served. To find something
Participate in a fundraising event that supports Veterans. While every community is different, you will find events like 5K runs, golf outings and clinics, bake sales or concerts. Reach out to your local American Legion, VFW or your state veterans services department for events near you.
Buy a coffee or lunch for a Veteran when you see them. Many Veterans are easy to spot by the proud display of their status on hats, shirts and car decals. When you see one in line at coffee shops or restaurants, be sure to thank them for their service by offering to buy their meal.
Donate to a Veterans Home or Hospital. Find a local Veterans hospital by searching the Veterans Affairs website
While a monetary donation is easy and can go a long way, each office has a list of items they accept donations for including clothing, magazines, coffee and cookies.
Quick Facts About Veterans Day
There is no apostrophe in Veterans Day. It is a day to honor not one, not many, but all Veterans.
The New York City Veterans Day parade has been held to honor Veterans since 1919.
Lend a hand to a local Veteran who lives alone. Offer meals, yard work or a ride to the store or his doctor’s appointment. It’s also important to make him feel like he is a valued part of the community. Invite him to dinner and get to know him. You may be surprised to hear his stories and find his talents to be a great contribution.
At 2:11 p.m. EST each Veterans Day, the President will order a 2-minute moment of silence. This was started by President Obama in 2016.
According to the Census Bureau, in 2021 there were 16.5 million veterans living in the United States.
Use your talent to brighten the day for a Veterans Home. Just like assisted living homes, veteran homes are always looking for volunteers to entertain their residents. If you are a singer, musician, art or dance therapist, yoga instructor or a pet therapy volunteer, contact your local VA Home and ask how you can help.
Pam Molnar is a freelance writer and proud daughter of a Veteran. She enjoys writing about celebrating people and how they touch the lives of their community.
Veterans Day was originally called Armistice Day celebrating the end of WWI at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918. It was renamed Veterans Day by President Eisenhower in 1954 to honor all Veterans.
Veterans Day is not the same as Memorial Day. Memorial Day is a time to remember those who gave their lives for our country while Veterans Day honors all military members who have served our country in war and peace.
Other countries also recognize their Veterans in November — Canada, Australia and Great Britain — although they refer to their holidays as Remembrance Day.
Books to read with your child on Veterans Day
1. Otto's Tales: Today is Veterans Day! by PragerU
2. Veterans: Heroes in Our Neighborhood by Valerie Pfundstein and Aaron Anderson
3. The Worn-Out Flag by Karen Bowen and Olha Tkachenko
4. Hero Dad (also available in Hero Mom) by Melinda Hardin
5. Veteran’s Day for Grandpa by Dee Smith
6. Tuesday Tucks Me In by Luis Carlos Montalván
7. Twenty-One Steps: Guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier by Jeff Gottesfeld and Matt Tavares
8. Brave Like Me by Barbara Kerley
9. We Also Served: Amazing True Stories of Brave Military Animals by Erin McGill
10. Rolling Thunder by Kate Messner
Homemade Meals to Tackle Takeout Cravings
(Family Features) Many busy weeknights come down to one decision for frazzled families: cook at home or give in to takeout cravings. Instead of stressing over a decision, enjoy the best of both worlds and make Asian-inspired dishes from the comfort of your own kitchen.
Featuring a blend of chilled, freshly chopped vegetables; ready-to-eat, precooked noodles; gourmet dressing sauce; and crispy toppings, Fresh Express Hot or Cold Salad and Noodle Meal Kits offer two meal options in every bag – hot or cold – so you can make your salad, your way. Available in Teriyaki, Asian Sweet Ginger and Korean Sesame flavors, they’re the perfect inspiration for making takeout-style dishes at home.
Consider this Marinated Teriyaki Steak with Teriyaki Noodle Salad recipe, which combines juicy steak with crisp vegetables and pre-cooked Udon noodles for the ultimate at-home comfort food in an effortless meal. For a quick and delicious solution that may just become a family go-to, these Teriyaki Tofu Bowls are jam-packed with flavor, noodles and fresh veggies.
These homemade favorites feature a delicious blend of broccoli, red and green cabbage, kale, shredded carrots, radish and green onions in Fresh Express’s Hot or Cold Teriyaki Salad and Noodle Meal Kit. The vegetable blend is tossed with pre-cooked Udon noodles, white sesame seeds and crunchy wontons then finished with a gourmet teriyaki dressing sauce for familiar Asian flavor.
Visit freshexpress.com/hot-or-cold to discover more than 300 fresh recipes and find a store near you.
Marinated Teriyaki Steak with Teriyaki Noodle Salad
Prep time: 1 hour
Cook time: 24 minutes
Servings: 4
1/2 cup dark soy sauce
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon Sriracha sauce
1/2 cup unsalted chicken stock
1 pound flank steak
1 tablespoon sesame oil
1 bag (16.9 ounces) Fresh Express Hot or Cold Teriyaki Salad and Noodle Meal Kit
In saucepan, add soy sauce, brown sugar, Sriracha sauce and chicken stock; bring to simmer while whisking. Simmer 4 minutes.
Cool mixture down until cool to touch, about 20 minutes.
Slice steak into thin strips and place in bowl. Pour marinade over steak and marinate for 1 hour.
In large pan over medium-high heat, stir-fry steak 2 minutes.
Remove steak from pan and allow to rest.
In same pan used for steak, add oil and cook hot or cold kit according to instructions on bag.
Add steak back to pan and stir to incorporate.
Garnish with toppings from hot or cold kit and serve.
Teriyaki Tofu Bowls
Prep time: 20 minutes
Cook time: 10 minutes
Servings: 4
1 tablespoon rice wine vinegar
2 tablespoons dark soy sauce
1 tablespoon honey
1 teaspoon fresh grated ginger
1 tablespoon minced garlic
2 teaspoons white pepper
2 teaspoons Chinese five-spice
1/3 cup neutral oil
1 package (16 ounces) extra-firm tofu, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
1 bag (16.9 ounces) Fresh Express Teriyaki Hot or Cold Salad and Noodle Meal Kit
In bowl, whisk vinegar, dark soy sauce, honey, ginger, garlic, white pepper and Chinese five-spice until combined.
Slowly pour oil into mixture while whisking vigorously. Place cut tofu in mixture and allow to sit 15 minutes.
Bring large saute pan to mediumhigh heat and place tofu in, turning when crust forms.
When tofu is finished, set aside and prepare hot or cold salad and noodle meal kit.
Serve with tofu on top of hot or cold salad and noodle meal kit.
THE KIDDIE GOUR ME T
From the restaurateur Jose Castanada comes another Aguacates, with a Kids’ menu. The address lists this one as Blasdell, Hamburg, and Buffalo, depending where you look. For $9.00, kids pick two items: burrito, enchilada, cheese quesadilla, hard taco, soft taco, rice, beans, or fries. A taco loving kid should love these, as well as the other tortilla wrapped selections. Other choices include Mozzarella Sticks and Fries, Mini Taco Salad and Chicken Tenders and Fries—each of these are $10.00. A Kid’s Slider, served with French Fries is $11.00.
— by Barbara Blackburn
Aguacates Mexican Cantina
3540 McKinley Parkway Blasdell, NY 14219
716-240-9893
aguacatescantinabuffalo.com
~ SPOONS ~
FOOD 4.5/5
SERVICE 5/5
FAMILY FRIENDLY 4/5
To begin, the fresh corn chips and salsa were especially tasty. The waiter delivered them to the table very quickly, right after we were seated.
Dad, being a taco loving older “kid,” ordered Trio Tacos ($24.00), choosing Tacos Al Pastor (pork and pineapple), Tacos a La Diabla, and Baja Tacos. He also ordered the Chicken Chile Relleno ($5.00) on the side. The pineapple fused taco was his favorite. The devilish sauce on the Diabla was hot but not uncomfortable, and the shrimp in the Baja was a delightful contrast. The Relleno was excellent with a chicken mash replacing the usual cheese filling. The food was plated very colorfully, including another plate of the rice and beans. The description promised that the tacos were topped with onions and cilantro. Since we always share, I was excited about the cilantro, which obviously had gone into hiding, just like the arugula that was supposed to accompany my lettuce in my entree.
Having read about the special Birria dishes, I was looking forward to my Birria Ramen ($15.00), a homemade broth, with cilantro, onions, and limes. Although we were present only an hour after opening, this specialty was sold out. I have always had a talent for ordering ‘menu fillers’ or unavailable items. So, I tried Mojarra Frita ($19.00), deep fried whole tilapia fish (with bones and head),
served with rice, arugula, tomato, cucumber, onions, and balsamic vinaigrette, and corn tortillas (or wheat, if you want). A splendid looking plate it was, with a thick blanket of tomato and onion sauce covering the fish, so that we couldn’t make eye contact. The tilapia itself was as good as expected. In the background we also enjoyed the “Happy Birthday” song and show from another table.
We noted that this place was popular with families with kids. Aguacates serves up entertainment to the kids in the form of story books and coloring materials for booster, high chair, and regular chair seated kiddie gourmets.
My Caramel Apple Highball ($13.00) helped to cover any disappointment I had experienced from learning that the Lava Cake advertised on a special card on our table was sold out. So, we compromised on a Sopapilla ($7.00), a plate of nicely prepared fried dough pieces wearing whipped cream and chocolate syrup. Other intriguing items in the kitchen include Xango ($8.00), deep fried cheesecake. The dessert menu is extensive, to match the rest of the menu. Yes, you can order wings, in flavors such as tequila and hot guacamole.
We savored our experience and chatted pleasantly with the staff, despite my Forrest Gump experience of not knowing what I was going to get. Leftovers accompanied us home, where we found some of the missing ingredients. There may be a “manana” in the future for another well-prepared meal.
Barb has been happily doing the Kiddie Gourmet for over 35 years. She has two aging children and four grandchildren, all living in Florida. She is a home instructor and community education cooking instructor for Williamsville Central Schools. She is the 2023 recipient of the Buffalo State Alumni Association Senior Service Award.
