Woman's Era food fashion and lifestyle magazine. by womanseramagazine

FEBRUARY 2021

Vol 45, Issue No. 1110

BUILDS HAPPY HOMES

Articles

womansera.com

AN OLD FRIEND!

BY Dr. PREMPAL SINGH VALYAN

13 14 20 BOOST YOUR HEALTH

BY SUJATHA RAO

BY KARAN KAKKAD

19 PACHOULI SPA – HOLISTIC WELLNESS WITH SKIN, HAIR, SLIMMING, AYURVEDA

84 SOCIAL DISTANCING

31 WE ARE IN A SPACE & TIME WITNESSING A TECHNOLOGY LED HUMAN REVOLUTION

BY A. KARTIKEYAN

BY KHUSHBOO JAIN

TEENAGE WONDER

20 IS IT LOVE, OR IS IT INSECURITY? BY RAMA

BY SHALINI BHARDWAJ

92 WHY DO WOMEN LOSE THEIR SEXUAL DESIRE?

DESIRE AND FIRE! BY RAMZI

96 WEDDING IN THE TIME OF CORONA BY SUJATHA RAO

38 THE SEX PYRAMID BY FAIZAN ALEE

51 A MAGNIFICENT ACTOR BY HIMSHIKHA SHUKLA

54 BRIDAL SKIN CARE BY MONIKA AGARWAL

102 MANY AT A TIMETHE MOBILE RELATIONSHIPS! BY KALPNA GUPTA

106 E-WASTE MANAGEMENT IN INDIA BY ADITI MAHESHWARI

59 TIME FOR SELF-TALK BY RICHA GOEL

62 THE RISK OF SOCIAL ISOLATION BY MONIKA AGARWAL

66 SIZE MATTERS! BY BIMLA ARYA

34 SHARING TOOLKIT!

BY RICHA GOEL

108 MISCARRIAGE AND LOSS BY RACHNA CHHOKAR

110 HOW POSITIVITY MAKES YOU HEALTHY BY NIDHI JAIN

AMAZING PAN ASIAN RECIPES ● Chinese greens with ● ● ● ●

Cookery

burnt garlic and pine nuts Asian corn starter Japanese negi (leeks) patties Bao vegetarian Japanese negi (leeks) patties

● Chiilie chicken Bao ● Salt and pepper Broccoli with

fried cashews ● Bhutanese kewa/emadatshi

pepper and potato chessydeite Leek and mushroom soup ● Rice paper rolls ● Deviled prawns served with

coriander rice ● Asian style cauliflower ● Nepalese kohlrabi - ganthgobi

preparation ● Eggplant with leek and sesame

seeds ● Pad Thai noodles with

grilled pineapple and Thai sauce

... And many more inside

6 Fashion

CINEPLEX

18 THE INCIDENT I CANNOT FORGET 32 PERSONAL PROBLEMS 58 SILENCE OF THE VALLEY 60 KIDS WINTER WEAR! – TODDLER 67 NEIGHBOURS ALL 82 TEENACHE 87 BEAUTY QUERIES 91 KICTEN QUERIES 95 I AM PREGNANT 99 YOUR BODY 105 CHILD CHALLENGES 112 CLASSIFIEDS

Features

Fiction 24 UNFRIEND BY BHAVNA GAJBE BY SREE KUMAR

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42 TEMPTING FARE!

114 AS YOU SAY

BY RANA PREET GILL

36 HOPE

Published on behalf of Delhi Printing & Publishing Co. Pvt. Ltd. Editor@WomansEra.com

37 HOW I MET MY HUSBAND 50 HOW I SAVED MY MARRIAGE 90 MOST UNFORGETABLE EXPERIENCE AS A BRIDE 112 HOW I WAS DUPED

88 THE BUS DRIVE

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64 100 GO FORTH AND BE FABULOUS

SOFT SEXY GLAM MAKEUP!

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An Old Friend! Ex-friend new look. By Dr. Prempal Singh 'Valyan'

hether a known or unknown partner one always faces the jitters and anxiety when they are taking things to another level. We tell you how to ease yourself into lovemaking act.

Love Overtures Maybe you've known the man since primary school or perhaps he's someone you just met at a party. Either way., the chemistry between you is crackling, filling the air with sexual tension, lovely anticipation, and the delicious confusion of wondering if this encounter will (or should) be concluded by making love. The flirtatious fun leading to a lover's embrace requires that both parties send the right signals to each other and then correctly interpret the code. Body language helps translate amorous messages. The setting may be as mundane as a bus stop or a laundry room, but if your bodies are moving closer and closer and a velvety gaze blankets your glances, you're communicating more than a mutual interest in coldwater washing.We also speak of sex to one another through the language of touch. The interplay of fingers, a soft brush of the shoulder, the straightening of a tie, or the ruffling of his hair - all these say more than the flirtiest words. Then comes the response. The individual who reciprocates or sighs when stroked indicates that overtures are welcome, while the man or woman who shrinks abruptly away is declining an advance.

After the first flush of sexual desire, people ought to let a little time pass before declaring their intentions. Flirt time heightens the aura of romance and spares embarrassment should you have misread the situation. He may just like you, so you need to dip slowly into each other's personality to know if positive vibrations are explicitly sexual. Should you feel uncomfortable or edgy now, feeling

IF A FIRST RENDEZVOUS TAKES PLACE AT YOUR FLAT, YOU'VE CERTAIN ADVANTAGES. YOU'RE IN CHARGE OF THE LIGHTING, MUSIC AND THE WINE, YOU KNOW HOW TO SHINE IN YOUR ENVIRONMENT, AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO HUNT AROUND FOR MOUTHWASH OR MOISTURISER. perhaps that kisses may be enough, then don't hesitate to postpone any more serious embrace. Never feel you must proceed because you've given him a tacit go-ahead. A sincere and affectionate "Let's not rush into things. I'd rather we knew each other better", is all you need say. To go through with it out of a sense of duty, courtesy, or the fear that if you don't, you'll never see the man again, is always a mistake. Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Era

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February 2021

If a first rendezvous takes place at your flat, you've certain advantages. You're in charge of the lighting, music and the wine, you know how to shine in your environment, and you won't have to hunt around for mouthwash or moisturiser. Still, another potentially awkward exercise awaits you getting undressed. Occasionally, a new lover might suggest undressing you or that you undress him. This can be lovely if you're not encased in a snare of buttons, zippers, and boot laces. A fairly graceful way to slip out of your clothes is to excuse yourself and take a shower. Warmth, interest, and a sincere appreciation of him are more important (and certainly less threatening) than a series of R-rated stunts. Just being there for a man wholeheartedly, enthusiastically, and receptively - can make him feel more secure and loving than the gaudiest display of eroticism pyrotechnics. Sometimes the first sexual meeting can result in a breath-taking explosion; more often, though, the event is marked by a certain awkwardness that will resolve itself with time and familiarity. And occasionally, you realise all the tricks in the Kama Sutra won't make the two of you fizz. Even if the experience is deeply disappointing, be gracious as you slip out of his arms. Not everyone is sexually compatible and if he has other endearing qualities, he might make a good friend. We 5

CinePlex Wedding Confirmed: Varun Dhawan And Natasha Dalal To Marry On This Date

ver since the couple has made it official, there have been many speculations about their wedding. The two have been snapped together on numerous occasions and have officially announced their relationship but have always dodged the marriage question. Recently, there were reports that Varun Dhawan and Natasha Dalal are going to tie the knot this month in Alibaug. Now, as per the latest reports, the wedding is happening this month only and it is going to be a grand affair. According to a report in Pinkvilla, Varun Dhawan and Natasha Dalal will be exchanging the wedding vows on January 24. The report suggests that Dhawanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s have sent out e-invites to their close relatives asking them to block their dates from January 22-25.

First Pic Of Anushka Sharma With Her Newborn Daughter Goes Viral On Social Media

irat Kohli and Anushka Sharma recently embraced parenthood for the very first time and the two are definitely on cloud nine now. They have been married for over three years and announced their pregnancy earlier in 2020. Anushka Sharma gave birth to a baby girl on Monday i.e. 11th January this year and everyone has been eagerly waiting for her pics to come out. Now, if a report published in Bollywood shaadis is anything to go by, a fan page of Virushka has shared a picture of Anushka Sharma with her newborn daughter. In the picture, Anushka Sharma can be seen holding her newborn daughter in her arms, who is wrapped in a white cloth and head covered with a cap.

From Bollywood...

eepika Padukone is one of the most successful actresses in Bollywood. Considering her success and where she is at the moment, it won’t be wrong if we believe that she has no regrets in life. But that’s not the case. Even this actress has some big regrets in her life and she revealed the same. During the launch of veteran actor Hema Malini’s biography “Hema Malini: Beyond the Dream Girl”, Deepika had shared that she is just a 12th-pass and couldn’t complete the graduation because of her work commitments. She said, “Even my 11th and 12th, I struggled to finish. I was already a very successful model, and I was based in Bengaluru but I had to keep travelling to Delhi and Mumbai forwork”.

Ranbir Kapoor And Alia Bhatt Are Not Getting Engaged: “It is not true,” Says, Randhir Kapoor

Deepika Padukone Reveals She Is Just A ‘12th-Pass’: “I Was Already A Successful Model”

lia Bhatt, Ranbir Kapoor, and his family members were spotted at Mumbai’s private airport. Soon, Alia Bhatt’s family members and Ranveer Singh and Deepika Padukone also flew off to Rajasthan where the couple Ranbir and Alia went for the New Year celebration. Since the morning, it is being reported that Alia Bhatt and Ranbir Kapoor are getting engaged today in Ranthambore. However, Ranbir’s uncle Randhir Kapoor has put an end to all the speculations. While speaking to Indian Express, Randhir Kapoor stated that Ranbir Kapoor, Alia Bhatt, and their family members have gone for a vacation in Rajasthan, not for the engagement. It is not true.

he trailer of Madam Chief Minister starring Richa Chadha received quite some rave responses from everyone. However, the film found it in the hot waters as they stereotypically showed the Dalit community. The poster received a lot of backlash from netizens as Richa’s character is shown holding a broom in her hand while some were irked with the use of the word ‘untouchable’ on the poster. With so much going on, Richa Chadha releases a statement saying that ‘it was a regrettable and completely unintentional oversight’. She apologized for the same and mentioned that this film was made for love.

Richa Chadha Again In Controversy: Apologizes After Receiving Backlash Over Casual Casteism: ‘It Was An Unintentional Oversight’

Kangana Ranaut Takes It Out On Karan Johar After He Appoints Rajeev Masand As Dharma’s COO

aran Johar confirmed the news of Rajeev joining his venture as COO, actres Kangana Ranaut lashes out as filmmaker for appointing Rajeev in his venture. Kangana Ranaut wrote, “Rajeev wrote the most poisonous blind items about Sushant and me, he openly licked mediocre star kids and gave negative reviews to genuinely good films, even as a journalist he was always KJO minion. Good, he left journo facade and joined KJO officially,” “This is how movie mafia hijacks key people in every place, agents/critics/journalists /distributors/award jury they plant their minions in your personal life to ruin you from every angle, they ban you and ruin your image, many succumb few survive. Need strict laws in the movie industry.”

anveer Singh and Deepika Padukone are a power couple and have been surprising their fans by posting some loveydovey posts on social media. However, the two kept their relationship a secret for over five years without making anything official. It was only in the year that they were planning their wedding that the two had made things official. Recounting how she initially had multiple reservations including trust issues, in an earlier interview, Deepika Padukone had told Filmfare, “It was not about him. It was about whether I was ready to commit to a relationship. Because I’d been in several relationships before and many times my trust was broken. When I met Ranveer, I was exhausted.”

Saif And Kareena’s New House To Have Taimur’s Own Living Space And Nursery For 2nd Baby: Interior Designer

Deepika Padukone Reveals How She Fell In Love With Ranveer Singh: “Many Times My Trust Was Broken”

efore expanding the family, every couple thinks of the living space and how they will make the home better for the new one. Kareena Kapoor Khan and Saif Ali Khan, who are expecting their second child, are also set to upgrade their home before the new one comes in. Now, the interior designer Dashini Shah has talked about the interiors of the new home that the couple is currently busy getting built-in Satguru Sharan. She said, “They like their spaces to feel like their travel diaries. Everything that they have at home is something they have collected over time, and it has a memory or a story attached to it. Like, they love England, they like the colonial-classic style of decor. They also don’t like anything loud. Like their Fortune Heights’ home, even their new house has a library, artworks, antiques, candles, and a certain kind of furniture.”

Priyanka Chopra Finally Broke Her Silence Over 10 Year Age Gap With Husband Nick Jonas

riyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas are an ideal couple that broke societal stereotypes and married each other in 2018. One of the biggest stereotypes that they broke was around the age gap that the two had. Now, Priyanka Chopra has finally come out and spoken about the age gap and what she feels about the same. In an interview with Sunday Times, Priyanka Chopra was asked whether the 10year age gap between Nick Jonas and her was a bigger gap to bridge than any cultural differences, Priyanka Chopra said that none of it was a hurdle. She said, “Nick took to India like a fish to water. But just like a normal couple, you have to understand each other’s habits and what each other likes. So it’s more of an adventure than trying to figure out hurdles. None of it was that hard.”

Pankaj Tripathi On Playing Lead Role In Kaagaz: “No One Would Have Thought That A Guy Like Me Could Be Lead Actor”

ankaj Tripathi has proven his mettle in acting by giving breathtaking roles in several movies. And his presence on the OTT platform is just phenomenal. In an interview with Hindustan Times, Pankaj Tripathi opened up about playing a lead role for the first time in a film titled Kaagaz. He stated that a lead role may have come after a long time in the film industry for Pankaj but he did not feel ‘restless’ in his desire for it. “Main santush Jeev hu (I am a content man). I am satisfied with what I have. I don’t worry about it too much. Of course, everyone wants to succeed in life, be in a better position than they are in life. But I am satisfied wherever I am. Chahat zaroor thi lekin bechaini nahi thi,” he said.

apil Sharma is the most popular comedian in India and has been entertaining everyone with his comic timing for many years. He also made his appearance in two Bollywood movies, one of them being a hit at the box office. Meanwhile, he got married to Ginni Chatrath and also had a baby. Now, he had announced good news yesterday. While everyone was expecting him to share the good news about his second child, Kapil Sharma has surprised everyone with his Netflix debut.

Kajol Reveals Her Father Opposed Her Marriage To Ajay Devgn At 24; Shares Her Mom Tanuja Was The Biggest Supporter

Kapil Sharma Announces His Netflix Debut, Says, “I Always Wanted To, But I Didn’t Have Their Number”

ollywood actor Kajol has been winning hearts with her stunning performance in the films since her debut. Kajol who was linked to many actors during her early years of acting married Ajay Devgn two decades ago. The couple is now happily living their married life and has a daughter Nysa and son Yug. But did you know? Kajol’s father Shomu Mukherjee was against her decision to marry Ajay Devgn at 24. In a recent interview with Mid-Day, Kajol revealed that her father did not want her to marry at the age of 24 as he wanted her to pursue her acting career. The actor mentioned that her dad wanted her to work more before taking the big step. She then shared that it was her mom Tanuja, who became her biggest supporter. Kajol disclosed that her mother asked her to go with her gut and she did exactly what she wanted to do. We

Boost Your Health Winter Superfoods for Disease Reversal and Good Health. By Karan Kakkad

ne of the best parts of eating real foods is the seasonal benefits that come along with it. The reason I use the word ‘’real’’ with food is that in the last 25-30 years we have seen a sharp rise in the intake of artificial or processed foods that are definitely not real. And one of the main reasons why we have an epidemic of lifestyle diseases is our wrong diet. So, the first step to becoming healthy or reversing disease is to stop eating artificial or processed foods and start consuming more real or natural foods. Different seasonal foods have different health benefits and with winters round the corner, these six seasonal foods we should all be consuming this winter.

Radish: Excellent for fatty liver and kidney disease, Radish is an excellent source of antioxidants and compounds to protect your cells from damage. As an excellent diuretic, the radish helps in treating several kidney disorders, by washing away toxins gathered in kidneys and blood. Regularly eating radish can help improve the quality of your skin too. Purple Cabbage: Purple cabbage is a nutrient-rich vegetable linked to a variety of health benefits. These include reduced inflammation, a healthier heart, stronger bones,

improved gut function, and perhaps even a lower risk of certain cancers. It is also extremely effective for reversing diabetes and kidney issues. Purple cabbage helps Beta cells in our pancreas make more Insulin naturally and thereby you do not have to depend more on Insulin injections. Turnip: Turnips are loaded with fiber and vitamins K, A, C, E, B1, B3, B5, B6, B2, and folate (one of the B vitamins), as well as minerals like manganese, potassium, magnesium, iron, calcium, and copper. Turnips have glucosinolates, plant-based chemicals that may help prevent all kinds of cancer, from breast to prostate. Turnips are also rich in the antioxidant lutein which keeps your eyes healthy and wards off problems like macular degeneration and cataracts. Broccoli: Broccoli is very high in fiber, which aids in digestion, prevents constipation, maintains low blood sugar, and weight loss. It also helps in improving the gut bacteria and thereby boosts immunity. Apart from being very effective in reversing diabetes, Broccoli is also helpful in reversing kidney issues, fatty liver, high cholesterol, and many cancers. Broccoli is also a source of two crucial nutrients that help improve brain function. Vitamin K helps to Woman’s Era

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February 2021

strengthen cognitive abilities while Choline has been found to improve memory – people who eat plenty of broccolis perform better on memory tests. Green Peas: This vegetable is loaded with A, B1, B6, C, and a supersized serving of osteoporosisfighting K. One cup of boiled green peas has 46% of your RDA of vitamin K1. Peas are high in fiber and low in fat and contain no cholesterol. Apart from being very high in plant protein, Peas also have insoluble fiber that can act as a bulking agent in the body to move food along, so it is digested easier. Spring Onion: Spring onions are an excellent food for reversing cholesterol and can reduce the risk of coronary heart disease. It also has many anti-cancer compounds. Spring Onions are very effective in lowering blood sugar levels by promoting the release of insulin from the body. It prevents diarrhea, improves appetite, and promotes regular stomach clearance. Winters are an opportunity to eat a variety of superfoods that have enormous health benefits and at the same time many disease reversing compounds. All we need to develop is a habit of consuming these foods on a regular basis. After all it is habits that will reverse We disease and not diets. 13

r e d n o W Teenage

The Agony and Ecstasy of a Teenager.

ccording to an article by UNICEF, India has the largest population of adolescents in the world, being home to 243 million individuals aged 10-19 years. While the promise and potential of the nation lie in these youthful human resources, this situation also comes with an onerous

By Sujatha Rao

responsibility on the part of the state and parents/guardians to collectively nurture and harness this potential towards fruition. This task seems to be easier said than done as adolescence is a very vulnerable period in anyone’s life. In this connection, it’s apt to quote the following lines from the movie

“Chemical Hearts,” released in 2020: “You are never more alive than when you’re a teenager. Your brain is flushed with chemicals that can turn your life into a story of epic proportions. A-minus feels like the Pulitzer, a lonely Saturday night is an eternity of solitude, and your lab

partner becomes the great love of your life.” Indeed, the intensity of pleasure and pain with which life is lived during this phase is unparalleled in one’s life, since it happens to be a phase of many firsts - the first time one wakes up to the ecstasy of the first love, the agony of the first heartache, the confusion of puberty and maybe for some of the teenagers the mixed feelings of the first intercourse experience. With all the chemicals firing off in the brain, it’s also a phase when one is trying to figure out who one really is while transitioning from a girl into a woman or from a boy into a man. As one navigates through so many uncharted territories for the very first time, along with the unbridled joy one experience, its

INDEED, THE INTENSITY of hers sums up the overall trauma associated with teenagers in OF PLEASURE AND PAIN general, both for the teenager and WITH WHICH LIFE IS to the close family members of that teenager. LIVED DURING THIS PHASE IS WHY IS IT SO UNPARALLELED IN CHALLENGING? ONE’S LIFE, SINCE IT While wading through the HAPPENS TO BE A teenage years had always been a PHASE OF MANY FIRSTS difficult task for biological and other reasons, it has become even - THE FIRST TIME ONE more challenging in the present WAKES UP TO THE times. Some of the major reasons for this are: ECSTASY OF THE FIRST LOVE, THE AGONY OF Internet and Social THE FIRST HEARTACHE, Media Usage While the raging hormones are THE CONFUSION OF furiously at work within the body of PUBERTY. a teen, the constant badgering from small wonder then that one also goes through the highest level of anxiety, nervousness, and even depression at times during this phase, since one is not yet mature enough to handle all this emotional turmoil. Sometime back when I happened to mention to a venting mother of a teenager that teenager is one of the most difficult phases in one’s life, she retorted back in frustration asking “for whom - for the parents or for the teenager?” This question

the external world through social media is adding fuel to the fire. With the ease of access to porn sites, uncontrolled exposure to all kinds of violence on the web, and the constant hankering after the number of “likes” that the teens end up chasing on their Facebook and Instagram pages, they often find themselves in a toxic environment leading to loads of mental stress. The following 2019 data from Nielson shows India’s internet usage to be second only to China.

the additional burden of having to go through some of the most difficult entrance exams of one’s life, which ultimately go on to decide their future career paths. With competition increasing by leaps and bounds with each passing year, it’s only going to become more and more difficult.

WHAT CAN WE DO?

At 31% usage by the pre-teens and teens, a large part of which is most likely spent on various kinds of social media platforms, the addiction seems poised to reach pandemic levels soon.

Changed family structure With the nuclear families having replaced the erstwhile joint families and with a large number of families opting to have one or two children per family, the attention with which children are being brought up has changed for the better. While this is a positive development, on the flip side, it has also resulted into the parents having a constant urge to protect their children from any kind of pain or failure. This overprotective attitude is often rendering these children incapable of handling even minor crises on their own which in turn is leading to severe psychological issues in them.

CHILDREN LEARN MORE FROM WHAT YOU “DO” AND “HOW YOU BEHAVE” RATHER THAN “WHAT YOU SAY”. FOR INSTANCE, IF YOU ARE ASKING YOUR TEEN TO PRACTICE BETTER CLEANLINESS, IT WON’T CUT THE ICE WITH HIM OR HER, IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE A MESSY AND UNTIDY PERSON.

Against this backdrop, the following tips are aimed at helping us overcome some of these challenges. Keep the lines of communication humming? Sitting down for a formal "heart to heart" chat can be quite anxiety-provoking. Hence, as a parent, it helps to have casual conversations with your teen and never let the communication lines between you both dry up. While you are at it, please watch out for those tell-tale signs of disturbance, if any, including social withdrawal, mood swings, changes in routine, personality changes, talk of suicide, etc. If you think it’s warranted, do seek professional help immediately. Unfortunately, mental health issues at such a young age are not something that can be brushed away lightly. As per a factsheet published in 2020 by the World Health Organisation, suicide is the third leading cause of death in 15-19year-olds globally.

Create little rituals to connect Make room for some family rituals involving everyone in the family. It could be anything of interest to both the teen and you. These rituals go a long way in establishing a strong bond between you and you’re teen.

The competitive environment

Help the teen develop a hobby:

During the teenage years, one is at one of the most important crossroads in life as far as academics go. Especially in the Indian context, teenagers are saddled with

The sooner you help your child develop a hobby the better. For this, the work can start soon after the child’s toddler days. However, it’s never too late to start one. Failures of individuals are often

buffered by belief in being part of a much larger whole. Developing core interests in serious hobbies, philanthropic work, religion, etc., are some of the best examples that help us to be part of something larger than life.

Practice what you preach Children learn more from what you “do” and “how you behave” rather than “what you say”. For instance, if you are asking your teen to practice better cleanliness, it won’t cut the ice with him or her, if you happen to be a messy and untidy person.

Don’t compare Teens are adults in the making and they want to feel like individuals with special and unique qualities that the parents

Ranjit helped one rise when I was down One keeps hearing about good Samaritans, but it’s rare to experience the munificence of a flesh-and-blood person yourself. Sometimes, we do not recognise the presence of angels in our lives until it’s too late. It was in the year 1961 when I was into my second year at IIT Kharagpur, a young lad about 17 years old. I was the youngest of four siblings and the baby of the family. A mama’s boy to the core completely protected from the cruel world outside the confines of my home. During the second year of college, there had been an outbreak of jaundice and typhoid at the hostel as a result of drinking-water contamination. A large number of boys were unwell 18

appreciate regardless of how their sibling is so much better at academics. Comparing with others alienates them and makes them even more adamant in continuing with their annoying behavior if any. Celebrate small wins with the teen and indulge him or her even when that area in which he or she excels doesn’t seem too important to you.

Don’t overprotect The parental role is restricted to providing support and love. The issues of the teen by and large are to be resolved by himself or herself. As parents, we need to assure the teen that we are there to lend moral support with a shoulder to lean on anytime he or she needs the same.

Conclusion

The biggest put off for the present generation is their having to listen to those long-winded sermons, especially those that start with “hamaare zamaanein me”. Times have changed and there is very little that the teen connects with your earlier world. It’s you as a parent who has to get to know his/her world and act with empathy.

In the ultimate reckoning, teenage is one of the most beautiful and intense periods in one’s life. In her song “Am not a girl and not yet a woman,” Britney Spears wonderfully ruminates over this “inbetween” phase. Let’s act with empathy and help the teens find “a few moments in time and space” that’s their very own during this phase, as they forge their way into adulthood. We

and were being sent home to avoid further spread of the rather virulent contagious disease. One fine morning, I woke up with a raging fever which was diagnosed as typhoid. It was a difficult time. I was young and immature and was rather careless about my health. After resting and recuperating for a couple of weeks, I went back to college and to my carefree lifestyle. With the foolishness of youth, I did not pay enough attention to my diet and health and almost suffered a relapse. It was then that Ranjit Banerjee, an angel in human shape, stepped into my young life. He was my senior and studying architecture. I had barely seen him around among the seniors of the hostel and never really interacted with him. He somehow came to know that I was not keeping well. For reasons unknown to me, he started taking care of me. Not satisfied with the pace of improvement of my medical condition, he roped in another friend of his, who claimed to have some knowledge of homoeopathic medicine. Certainly, the very presence of these two seniors gave me a lot of moral strength to face

my ordeal with equanimity and reaffirmed my faith in humanity. This went on for at least two weeks. Then came the day when I felt sufficiently well to get up and, the doctor gave me permission to start attending classes once again. It was only then that Ranjit finally left me to my own devices. As for Ranjit, he never again tried to seek me out with any kind of patronising attitude or reminding me of my debt to him. I am now 75 years old and often remember the young man who stepped up to help me when I needed it the most. I often regret that I failed to recognise his debt to me and never made the effort to show my gratitude to him. When I think of Ranjit, I am reminded of the advice that my mother often gave me. “Never let your left hand know, what your right hand is doing.” It is an incident that I shall always remember with a sense of guilt and remorse. I wish I had kept in touch with Ranjit and live in hope that one day fate will bring us together. In the meantime, I try to repay his act of kindness by helping people in need. – Rajendra K Gupta, Noida.

Don’t sermonize:

Woman’s Era

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Ms Preeti Sethi Founder and Mentor, Pachouli Wellness Clinic

Pachouli Spa- Holistic PACHOULI, Wellness with Skin, Hair, EACH“ AT GUEST IS SPECIAL. OUR RANGE OF Slimming, Ayurveda PREMIUM SERVICES GIVE COMPLETE CURE

t’s a New Era of wellness with Marma-Vital Points massage, 2021. I generally review Januvasti, Hridavasti, Padabhyanga, WELLNESS RETREATS but Kheer Massage, Meruvastui, Lockdown and restricted travel Pizzichill for Nerve & Spine Care, made me discover nearby Pachouli Kati Vasti for Spine Care, Januvasthi Wellness Clinic founded by Ms. for Knee Care, Kizzi (Pinda Sweda), Preeti Seth in 2010. After my Potli Massage using heated herbal Signature Treatment, I pouches, Shila Massage ( vouch by the clinic Hot Stone Therapy), Author ambience, therapies, Panchkarma (purification cost effective therapy), Abhyangam, treatments, Shirodhara and Elakizhi, personalized, flawless Vamana, Virechana, Vasti, and user-friendly Nasya, and services by a solid team Raktamoksham are used of Expert Doctors, as per the body Therapists, constitution and others. Trichologists, Dermatologists and International Massage Physiotherapists. The Therapies: Brand operates in New It includes Thai Khushboo Jain Delhi – Rajendra Place, Therapy, Shiatsu Therapy, Wellness Advocate, Punjabi Bagh and Balinese Therapy, Deep Founder of Shivalik, Noida, Model MadAboutWellness. Renewal Therapy, Aroma Town & Lajpat Nagar. Fusion Therapy, Says Preeti Seth, “Pachouli is a Acupressure Therapy, Pachouli complete mind, body and soul Intuitive Therapy, Hands & Foot balancing destination. We offer an Reflexology. extensive range of therapies & treatments specialising in Slimming, Hair Treatments: Skin, Hair, Laser and Ayurveda Includes treatments with zero services with holistic approach that side-effect, most reliable & quickest blends ancient eastern knowledge hair restoration therapies like Hair with the best of modern Mesotherapy, Hair/RF, Stem Cells, technology.” Pachouli Kera Treatment, Dandruff Treatment, Hair Ayurvedic Therapy Ayurveda Therapies: (Khichdi), Ozone Hair Treatment, Includes therapies and massages Hair PRP (platelet Rich Plasma like Shiro-Abhyanga, Greevasti, method FDA (US) approved.) Woman’s Era

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February 2021

AND WELLNESS JOURNEY.” Slimming: Intensive medically researched Weight Management Programme to improve or reverse ailments like PCOS, Hypertension, Osteoporosis, Diabetes, Hypothyroidism etc. Includes therapies like Ultherapy, Body shaping Cool Sculpting and others.

Skin treatments: Includes both invasive treatments like Derma Fillers, Botox, Glutathione, Thread Lift, Meso Therapy, S-MASS (V - Shape), HIFU, Derma Fillers, Skin Boost Therapy, PRP, Microneeding, RF PRP Platelet Rich Plasma, and NON INVASIVE treatments like Oxyget, IPL Laser/ Photo Facial, Derma Roller ( Collagen Induced Therapy), Peels, IPL Skin Rejuvenation, Advanced Skin Light/ Pigmentation Treatment and many more. Sooth your senses, calm your nerves as I recommend a visit to Pachouli for an experience of relaxation, rejuvenation, wellness and balance of energies.

Contact- Pachouli Spa & Wellness Pusa Road, Punjabi Bagh, Noida, Shivalik, Model Town www.pachouli.in Call- +91 7802028028/ 9858060708 19

Is It Love, Or Is It Insecurity? Things that make men feel insecure! By Rama

ost ladies have wound up made up for lost time in poisonous, unfortunate relationship with insecure men. Despite the fact that the majority of them could never let it out, truly men have exceptionally delicate consciences that can be effortlessly broken. Many have low confidence and a delicate conscience that are attempting to cover up no matter what. In any case, what precisely are these indications of instability in a man?

You meet a new guy and he appears to be incredible. He gets you, gives you roses, opens your entryway, takes you to an exquisite cafĂŠ, and unendingly praises you for the duration of the night. He consistently lets you know, his voice bound with suspicious miracle, that he can't really accept that you consented to go out with him since you're so out of sight his league. He deals with you like a princess, and it's all so complimenting. It's an invigorating change to feel so valued, particularly in the event that you have an example of dating rascals, and you started believing that perhaps he's "the one." Yet, at that point things head south, and his sweet mindfulness goes to overpowering fixation. It no longer feels like he loves and esteems you; it seems like tyrannical possessiveness. It takes all your energy to guarantee your man (and afterward console him again and again) that you love him, and it's draining the life out of you. Shockingly, insecure men are all over the place. Also, if your sweetheart or spouse with does most, or all, of the accompanying things, he's presumably one of them. To stay away from another wrecked heart brought about by dating insecure men, here are signs of insecurity to look out for.

No external companions or interests He never specifies any companions and doesn't spend time with anybody yet you. Outside of work, he has no interests or diversions. He doesn't go out much, play any games, take any classes, volunteer or go to chapel. At the point when he isn't with you, he's sitting at home thinking about you. Or then again perhaps he had companions and side interests all at once; however he surrendered them all to go through consistently with you.

He thinks you actually have affections for your ex

He reveals to you he cherishes you right away

He's persuaded you're not over your ex, regardless of whether you've been separated/separated for quite a long time and the main sentiments you have for him are dissatisfaction, feel sorry for, abhorring, appall, and a pinch of lingering scorn.

Early in the relationship, he declares his undying affection for you. You could fly through the air while yelling, "He adores me! He cherishes me! He cherishes me!" But the normal piece of you feels like, "He adores me? Stand by, what? This is our subsequent date. That is insane talk."

EARLY IN THE RELATIONSHIP, HE DECLARES HIS UNDYING AFFECTION FOR YOU. YOU COULD FLY THROUGH THE AIR WHILE YELLING, "HE ADORES ME! HE CHERISHES ME! HE CHERISHES ME!" BUT THE NORMAL PIECE OF YOU FEELS LIKE, "HE ADORES ME? STAND BY, WHAT? THIS IS OUR SUBSEQUENT DATE. THAT IS INSANE TALK."

He reveals to you that you're his beginning and end You're his reality, the focal point of his universe, his purpose behind living. From the start, it might appear to be complimenting to be esteemed so profoundly, however being the focal point of one's reality isn't so amazing. That is an excess of strain to satisfy.

He needs consistent approval He oftentimes asks you inquiries like, "Do you love me?" He looks for praises. At that point when you guarantee him that you do discover him alluring, he doesn't trust you. Everybody likes to hear that they're adored, pretty, skilled, alluring, and savvy and wanted, yet his requirements go past those of most of us. He for the most part

He discusses his exes and how they undermined him As indicated by him, his exes never truly cherished him. He demands that in each past relationship, he was the guiltless casualty. Nobody cherished him. They used him and undermined him. This might be valid and the motivation behind why he's so shaky, or it could be in his mind in view of his frailty.

He follows you on Facebook and other online media.

experiences low confidence, which unexpectedly is the main thrust behind a large number of his uncertain practices.

He's envious of your companions He's desirous of the time you go through with your companions. He doesn't care for you to meet associates after work for party time, he doesn't care for you going out on the town to shop with sweethearts, and paradise prohibit you have any dispassionate associations with men. He habitually calls and messages to look at up on you when you're without him.

He takes steps to part ways with you He plays such a game wherein he takes steps to leave or say a final farewell to you. He makes statements as, "I don't feel needed" or, "I don't think you truly love me." He would truly not like to cut off the association; he's trusting you'll implore him to remain. On the off chance that you do, it approves his delicate personality. In the event that you don't, he'll take it all back 22

HE PLAYS SUCH A GAME WHEREIN HE TAKES STEPS TO LEAVE OR SAY A FINAL FAREWELL TO YOU. HE MAKES STATEMENTS AS, "I DON'T FEEL NEEDED" OR, "I DON'T THINK YOU TRULY LOVE ME." HE WOULD TRULY NOT LIKE TO CUT OFF THE ASSOCIATION; HE'S TRUSTING YOU'LL IMPLORE HIM TO REMAIN. ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT YOU DO, IT APPROVES HIS DELICATE PERSONALITY. and do whatever he can so he doesn't lose you. He's simply trying your commitment to him and requesting that approval he so longs for. Ultimately, you'll either be stuck in this unfortunate relationship or you'll feel worn out on this little game and readily let him leave whenever he undermines it. Woman’s Era

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He's consistently mindful the exact moment you post an image on Facebook, a tweet, or an Instagram post. He follows you and consistently watching what you're doing. He may even get vexed on the off chance that he peruses what you're up to on Facebook when you didn't let him know actually prior to presenting it for everybody on read. Except if you're Kim Kardashian, there's simply something somewhat frightening about being followed.

He checks you’re mobile He investigates your shoulder when you get a book. He may casually ask who you're messaging or he may by and large interest to see you’re mobile. He intermittently feels like you're concealing something from him in case you're on your PC or telephone, regardless of whether you're simply browsing your work email or messaging a sweetheart a formula for lasagna.

He believes you're being untrustworthy He can't exactly shake his doubts that you're undermining him. He may blame you for playing with the server, engaging in extramarital relations with an associate, or simply searching for somebody better. It isn't really that he doesn't confide in you; it's more about him feeling like he's insufficient for you so it's simply a question of time until you discover somebody better. We

Shotrotry S

UNFRIEND S o m e t i m e i t ’ s i n e s c a p a b l e . By Bhavna Gajbe

Sania Malhotra was jogging at a faster pace than usual. The music was ringing in loud through the headphones. Last night’s images were emerging before her eyes. It was a night that she wouldn’t forget. It was a night when she had to make a choice.

he sky was playing hide and seek with different hues of oranges. Sania Malhotra was jogging at a faster pace than usual. The music was ringing in loud through the headphones. Last night’s images were emerging before her eyes. It was a night that she wouldn’t forget. It was a night when she had to make a choice. The choice was very obvious, but not an easy one. She jogged till her breathing became heavy. Her panting became louder. She ran and ran and then halted abruptly at the dead end of the road.

“Aaaaaahhhhhhh...No... No...NO!” Sania was shouting with tears rolling out of her eyes. She was alone. She had always excelled in studies. An engineer in electronics and communication, Sania successfully cleared the SSB exam and was commissioned as an officer in the Army. After one year of rigorous training at OTA Chennai, she was commissioned in Corps of Intelligence. She was now posted as a Major in one of the intelligence units of the Indian Army at New Delhi. She had befriended a lot of fellow women officers. Yet Why did I search for you? I lost you again, Naaz.

her heart yearned for Naziya, her childhood friend who was left behind in this journey. Naziya completed her BSc degree in their hometown Amritsar. They would catch up whenever Sania would visit Amritsar. But slowly the time gaps increased and phone calls decreased. “Ma, have you got any news of Naziya?” Sania inquired. “No, beta, I just heard from her buaji that her family is planning to move to the Gulf.” Her calls were answered by the operator’s crisp Voice, “The number you are calling does not exist.” Years rolled by. However, Sania would search for her best friend in social media profiles. And

one fine day she got that friend request from Naziya. She couldn't believe her eyes. She checked out Naziya’s profile. The introvert girl had now become an author. Her wheatish complexioned oval face carried the same pair of wide, deep vocal eyes. Sania immediately connected with her. This was followed by an exchange of messages and the numbers. Naziya was residing at Hyderabad. “I will call you as soon as I step out of my office,” Sania messaged her. “Trrrng trrrng.” “Hello.” Sania paused for a second to hear the voice. It was the same even after so many years. “Hello... Naaz...I mean is that really you?” “Sani... How much I missed you in all these years.” “You just vanished from the scene. Idiot, I have been searching for you for so long. “Yeah, it is a long story. Will tell you someday when we meet.” “Yes, we should meet as soon as possible.”Sania was excited. “You are looking pretty these days, Sania, for a change. Saw your pictures on Facebook.” “I was always. Just that you always stole the limelight with your eyes, sweetheart.” “And you still didn’t find anyone after me to handle you I guess. Still single and rocking, Sania.” “Yes, Naaz. And what about you?” “Hmm... Single you can say. ” Sania didn’t probe any further. She knew that words will pour out at the

strong and independent.” “Tell me how you ended up writing stories, Naaz. And what about marriage and all?” “Ammi and Abbu wanted to marry me off seven seas away. But destiny had some other plans. So here I am scribbling others stories. And finally trying my hand making a documentary on Chandni Chowk,” Naaz laughed it off. “I hope there is no story of heartbreak here.” “No. Not at all,”Naaz said in a matter of fact way. Sania knew Naziya was lying. She thought of leaving the topicist there.

right time. That was so like Naaz.

hey would call up almost every alternate day. Also WhatsApp messages and video calls. The distance of years was getting covered up with technology. After a few months, the moment of the reunion came. “Yes, you heard it right, Sania. I will be there for almost a fortnight, baby.” “Wow...I want to hug you right now.” “Yes. My room is booked at the Holiday Inn. We can spend our evenings together.” “I am not meeting you then. How dare you stay at a hotel?” “Come on, Sania, don’t be a baby.” “Hey Naaz, we are singles and no men to bother us. We can have a ball. You are not staying at a hotel. Only at my place. Matter closed,” Sania said with an authority. It was almost a decade later that they were face to face. At the airport, Sania was too excited to see her. Naaz had always been a composed person. However, that day she permitted herself to be a little melodramatic. Saniya celebrated with a peg of scotch which left Naaz gaping. “It is my army way, gal! A toast to our friendship, my love,” Sania was dancing around. “I would prefer to toast with a Coke,” Naaz grinned. “At this point of life, I am content. I am serving my country. Nothing else matters more.” “Yes, I feel so proud to see you as a woman officer, Woman’s Era

The introvert girl had now become an author. Her wheatish complexioned oval face carried the same pair of wide, deep vocal eyes. Sania immediately connected with her. This was followed by an exchange of messages and the numbers. “Naaz you have your lunch on time. I will be back by evening. Meanwhile, if you need to go out for your research work to Chandni Chowk, you can take buddy Vasantlal with you.” Naaz was busy reading. “Are you listening to me?”Sania shrugged her shoulders. “I will go by a taxi. I would be covering the area on foot, Sania. So, no need of Vasantlal, ”Naaz waved a warm bye to her friend. Naaz along with her Handycam, a rucksack and ●

February 2021

a diary, toured the alleys of Chandni Chowk. Sania never accompanied her. In the evening, Naaz would share little stories she had found there. Soon, the fortnight was over and it was time for Naziya to leave. “Sania, I am going to cherish this for all my life.” “Stop being so filmy. We will be spending time like this more often. At least till the day marriage happens.” It was the last weekend of their rendezvous. “Sani, let us spend the Sunday with our old-time memories. We can fool around doing window shopping, paani puri, chaat and lot more.” “ That sounds so cool.” “Also, I want to visit Delhi Haat. Dinner and shopping there will be the best way to end the day.”Naziya chalked out the plan.

ext morning, both of them twinned up their apparel. They glammed up their looks with a dash of make-up and headed towards the streets of Delhi to recreate the memories. Naziya carried along the Handycam in her handbag to capture their moments. It was dinner time at Delhi Haat. “Why don’t you shift to Delhi, babes? It will be so much fun.” “Life is not always fun, Saani. We both will be busy. Things will be back to the way they once used to be. You left me alone for your engineering.” “Naziya, I had to. You know how important it was for me. And you went away with your parents to the Gulf without even meeting me.” 25

There was a silence. “Okay, forget it. Show me the Handycam. Let me see how my newbie documentary director captured my beauty,” Sania leaped to take Naziya’s handbag. The bag was nowhere. “Oh man! I guess I lost my bag!” Naziya gasped. Sania started to search for it under their table and nearby. It was gone. “Let it be, Sani I have my phone with me. I always carry my wallet in my jeans pocket. So my credit cards are safe.” “What about the Handycam and your recordings of Chandni Chowk?” “They are safe. I have uploaded them on my laptop.” After dinner, Sania was not comfortable. “Wait, I remember, you went to that handicraft shop to have a look. It was just before our dinner...” Sania took hurried steps in that direction. “Let it be. Someone might have picked it up by now.”Naziya was hesitant. “The shopkeeper might have kept it safe. Let me check or else I will inform the police. Your Handycam is a costly one, babe.”Sania was getting serious. And, before Naziya could say anything, she disappeared into the crowd. Sania was standing in front of the Rajasthani stall. She started scanning the place with her military trained eyes. At the corner of the stall, there was a bench. Under the bench, the tancoloured leather handbag lay peacefully. Sania heaved a sigh of relief. 26

“Naaz, I have got it! You absentminded dumb, you left it there,” she started shouting from a distance.

Captain Sonakshi. The next move was to make people safe without creating a panic. With the help of local police constables, she evacuated the area in a short time. The tragedy was averted. But a deeper tragedy had struck Sania’s life. There were so many questions. Naziya couldn’t be a part of this. Where was she? Was she safe? At the headquarters, Sania was counselled by her commanding officer and given a warning letter. The next day's Headlines read “DARKEST NIGHT; BRIGHTEST STAR! Army officer saves thousands of lives yesterday night. Bomb blast averted.” Her trust was shaken. She started digging Naziya’s stuff at her home. Naziya was gone. But her belongings were there. The salwar kameez, burqas, some books, Cds, wires, fanatic literature and tool boxes, gloves, eye gears etc. Slowly the reality started to sink in.

s she reached the table, Naaziya was nowhere to be seen. She looked around. It was getting scary. Her friend was missing. She dialled Naziya’s cell number. “The number you are calling is switched off.” She sat on the bench hopelessly. During that moment of silence, a strange sound caught her attention.

Sania took hurried steps in that direction. “Let it be. Someone might have picked it up by now.”Naziya was hesitant. “The shopkeeper might have kept it safe. Let me check or else I will inform the police. Your Handycam is a costly one, babe.”Sania was getting serious.

hen began Sania’s hunt. Her eyes were hungry for Naaz’s sight. She had tracked her down. After all, Sania was an intelligence officer. She knew all the holes where the moles could hide. Naziya was picked up from a hideout in Chandni Chowk. Two more women accomplices were arrested. "Darkest night...”Sania muttered to herself. Naziya’s dark truth was going to dawn upon her.They sat facing each other. Sania was in her crisp uniform. Naaz was in printed salwar kameez with

“Tick-tock...Ticktock...Tick-tock”. She followed the frequency of the sound. It was coming from the tan-coloured handbag. Naaz’s handbag. Her trembling hands opened the zip. A red and blue light was blinking inside. It was attached with the Handycam. Sania felt a spine-chilling numbness running through her body. Sania was shocked to see a bomb inside her best friend’s bag. But, within few seconds, her sharp mind started working. First, she called her unit officer, Woman’s Era

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a hijab over her head. “Why, Naaz? Why?” “Because you were my shield. Nobody would be suspicious on me when I was accompanied by you,” Naaz said in a grim voice. “I am...No...I was your best friend, a childhood friend.”Sania’s pain showed in her voice. “I don’t have friends anymore." “This is foolishness. You have been misled, Naaz. This is your motherland. How could you?” “How could they? How could they put my abbu in jail while immigrating? Just because we have the last name belonging to a specific community.”Naaz broke down. “We were tagged as traitor’s daughters. Abbu died of asthma in jail, without medicine and care. Is this the kind of dignity your law offers to the countrymen? Can I ever feel home in such circumstances in my own country?” Sania left Naaz with the interrogating officers. Present day. On her table, lay a neat white envelope with her statement inside it. “Ravi, we have to go to the police station. Take out the Gypsy please.” In the Gypsy , she took out her phone. A smiling selfie clicked at the Delhi Haat was staring at her. She touched the delete icon. Sometimes it is better to give up yearning for the past. Why did I search for you? I lost you again, Naaz. Not to time, but to a wrong ideology. I have lost my ability to trust. The thoughts kept on hammering inside Sania’s head. We

Desire And Fire! Is Lust Important In Relationship? By Ramzi

e live in tough times. It takes lot of understanding and work to remain together in a relationship and there are positive bunches of allurement out there. Our innovative, twist high speed tech culture is skilled at rearing limited capacity to focus, apparently guiding us to the "following best thing". Notwithstanding that, our minds are regularly guided by the "delight pleasures" that looks to abrogate what causes emotional or mental distress and agony. We have gotten molded to incline toward that which causes us to feel better and satisfies our prompt requirements, and experience issues remaining with that which is difficult and uneasiness incitingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;particularly connections. Be that as it may, futile sex aside (no judgment!), sex additionally ends up having a fairly significant impact on seeing someone. It's the nonverbal communication between two individuals. It's the motivation behind why individuals look for cultural assent and enter relationships. Past intercourse is at the forefront of everybody's thoughts. With a billion in number populaces, we sure appear to do it a great deal however then for what reason would we say we aren't discussing it more? What role does desire play seeing someone nowadays? When it comes to sex/desire, the snare is to get dependent on the prompt delight of joy, to confuse that with the genuine passionate association, and to confound what happens in the closeness of actual inclusion with the closeness of a relationship created over the long run. Individuals frequently attempt to persuade themselves that they're "enamored" because an essential need is in effect briefly fulfilled.

They will in general need to fortify this satisfying relationship and struggle to inspect it for what it truly is. Perhaps if they could that they might, they can at last search out accomplices that are eventually more advantageous to their sound turn of events. Somebody, they could truly be enamored with for a lifetime. Try not to misunderstand. Sex and desire are basic parts of a strong relationship. Beyond attraction and love, which are the undeniable basics for a strong, long haul relationship, there's the need to create a connection to your accomplice— the concrete that holds a relationship together over a long period. You need to discover approaches to truly like the individual you're focused on being with. So here are some fundamental practices/propensities for a fruitful, submitted, and cherishing relationship.

Remain keen on one another's lives You were keen on getting some answers concerning each other when you initially met. You posed inquiries and you tuned in. The capacity to tune in and interest in your accomplice is vital to supporting your relationship. Try not to expect that you don't need to invest the energy tuning into your accomplice since you have a deep understanding of them. Individuals change throughout a relationship. Put forth a deliberate attempt to fraternize. Regardless of how occupied or harried, you are, "check-in" with one another consistently. It could be a brief call to simply say "hi," "I love you," "what are you up to." Plan time together alone—without the children, and certainly unplugged. Focus on the positive. Recall and like everything you loved about your accomplice from the earliest starting point. Decide to see your unfurling coexistence as an excursion, an experience maybe. Now and then life runs easily and

BEYOND ATTRACTION AND LOVE, WHICH ARE THE UNDENIABLE BASICS FOR A STRONG, LONG HAUL RELATIONSHIP, THERE'S THE NEED TO CREATE A CONNECTION TO YOUR ACCOMPLICE—THE CONCRETE THAT HOLDS A RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER OVER A LONG PERIOD. YOU NEED TO DISCOVER APPROACHES TO TRULY LIKE THE INDIVIDUAL YOU'RE FOCUSED ON BEING WITH. Woman’s Era

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things are incredible, yet at times it's truly unpleasant. Having an inspirational demeanor makes life's vulnerabilities and "the obscure" something to anticipate instead of something to fear.

Connection One reason romantic connections are so private is a result of sex. There is no other relationship where having sex is a shared movement to this degree, hence the desire and what follows are what separates them. (Attaching can't be known as a relationship in this unique circumstance.)

Feelings Isolating love from lust can be a troublesome task, particularly in long haul connections. What you feel when you're intimate with your 29

lines makes them a safer accomplice.

The decision

accomplice is frequently a combination, the lines are obscured. However, they don't need to figure it out consistently. Lovemaking may start as a type of desire, exist as communication and be an act of love. It doesn't need to be a very much isolated action.

Reassurance People are as matter of course, shaky creatures. At the point when they are seeing someone, hold question concerning numerous things. They question their selfesteem continually. One of the inquiries that keep reoccurring is 'Am I alluring? Is my accomplice pulled in to me?' Lust and its demeanor can work in consoling the two accomplices about their allure. It helps support their confidence and along these

ISOLATING LOVE FROM LUST CAN BE A TROUBLESOME TASK, PARTICULARLY IN LONG HAUL CONNECTIONS. WHAT YOU FEEL WHEN YOU'RE INTIMATE WITH YOUR ACCOMPLICE IS FREQUENTLY A COMBINATION, THE LINES ARE OBSCURED. HOWEVER, THEY DON'T NEED TO FIGURE IT OUT CONSISTENTLY. LOVEMAKING MAY START AS A TYPE OF DESIRE, EXIST AS COMMUNICATION AND BE AN ACT OF LOVE. IT DOESN'T NEED TO BE A VERY MUCH ISOLATED ACTION.

A drawn-out relationship is regularly a custom of decision. You awaken each day and decide to be with the individual you love. There are incredible force and duty there. Thinking about desire, the craving you feel for your accomplice as a piece of this decision is significant. Realizing that you're with somebody you love and who sets your spirit ablaze consistently is an engaging inclination to encounter.

Legitimate spot While we have perceived how significant desire is seeing someone, would be unreasonable to give it superfluous significance. Desire is incredible; however, it isn't all that matters. But you don't want to rip each other's garments off each time you are separated from everyone else, doesn't mean you are not in a caring relationship. Desire is simply essential for the entire game. A genuine partnership has numerous elements. You can't engage in sexual relations and still be particularly enamored, to give it incomparability over genuineness, dedication and building coexistence would be mistaken. Taking a gander at desire and sex in a fair manner is the thing that will keep your relationship enduring.

Desire You can have intercourse with anybody, whenever. These are fundamental impulses. Being enamored is a considerably more mind-boggling undertaking, regularly colossally fulfilling, however at times exceptionally troublesome and attempting. Genuinely loving somebody implies setting aside the effort to comprehend, acknowledge, and acknowledge a critical other for who and what they are. Like methods regarding, respecting, and refining the adoration you already We have. 30

Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Era

â&#x2014;?

February 2021

We are in a space & time witnessing a technology led human revolution.

enny Sarang is a role model for Shammi Pant as a Coach and they used to often joke, wish we could create millions of Jenny when they worked together in GE. It’s been remarkable technology advancement since then, and today with new-age technology like Artificial Intelligence, Shammi and Jenny formed an AI-based Coaching Company and have created copies of Jenny to coach users on Verbal and Written Communications Skills. They aptly named their venture ‘myJen AI’ and launched services in October last year, today it offers, one of its kind real time Communication Coaching on their applications uSpeek and kWurd. In conversation with Jenny Sarang and Shammi Pant, CoFounders of ‘myJen AI’ How do you come together to start your venture myJen.AI and what’s been your inspiration? Jenny and I worked together at GE years back. We went our separate ways but kept in touch. Having a lot of respect for Jenny’s coaching abilities would joke with her that I wish I could make millions of Jenny and distribute across my teams. That would lead to very timely feedback and intervention resulting in greater results. Working with Accenture in RPA & AI I figured that the advancements in Artificial Intelligence will enable us to get there now. And that was the moment myJen was formed. The field of technology is dominated by men, what’s been your challenges and how do you see the future of women in this field? The future of women is bright. Yes, there are challenges as essentially the technology world is dominated by men hence the men’s clubs are extraordinarily strong. However, with the gap in skilled talent demand and supply in IT especially on newer technologies

Jenny Sarang and Shammi Pant, Co Founder, myJen AI

women have a great opportunity to fill the gap and emerge as technically strong leaders. As the numbers of women grow and the work culture will by design start balancing it out to be more conducive for women to work in. Please tell us about myJen and its products and offerings? myJen is an AI-based Coaching company. We have 2 products; uSpeek which improves your oral communication skills and kWurd to improves your written communication skills. uSpeek is an AI coach that assesses your mock video on 25 parameters in a matter of minutes and gives you details feedback on your strengths and development opportunities. It has insightful analytics built which allows you to monitor, your progress over time and sees your rate of improvement. It is customized for a specific speaking event you might be preparing for. An elevator speech, presentation, interview, or a public speech and get customized feedback. For your organization, it helps you baseline the oral communication skill levels of your employees at a location, account, team, and project level. You can track and monitor usage

and see the rate of learning of different segments. kWurd is a business writing coach. It is an advanced proof-reading tool. Write anything and kWurd will give you the standard spelling and grammar errors as well as help you get rid of redundant words, call out passive voice, improve your readability by suggesting better word choices, and more. kWurd Learning Lessons on kwurd is an excellent tool for Customer Service teams who want to measure the quality of email responses. When you have tools like this you are giving your employees a great opportunity to learn on the job and providing them personalized coaching tips. In what way can your technology make a difference to women trying to improve their performance in the competitive world? 70% of your career success depends on your communication skills. Both our products can enhance the communication skills of women in a very personalized manner. Imagine having a personal executive coach to train you! That can exponentially catapult your career and growth prospects. myJen offers very affordable personal coaching solutions.

Personal Problems

QA &

Y BOYFRIEND USED TO WORK IN THE SAME OFFICE AS MINE.

We have been together for the last three years. In that office, he was tagged as a ‘playboy’. I always supported him and cleared all the misunderstandings with him. Now it has been six months since I have changed my office and I caught him sleeping with his ex. He proved that he is a loose character. I do not trust him anymore but whenever I try to leave him, somehow he convinces me to stay. Please suggest some way to get rid of him because I cannot live with him without trust. You are a mature individual and you should be capable of knowing your own boundaries, once someone cheats you move forward without a single thought, that’s the golden rule of a relationship. Remember once a cheater is always a cheater. Take it as a eye opener and move on girl.

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19 YEARS OLD STUDENT STUDYING BSC PHYSICS, MY FATHER is having an extramarital affair with a lady of 40, the lady is also married and also have son of my age and the boy was school classmate, now he is studying in the same college in humanitarian course ... during school days there was nothing between them, it all started 1year ago as the lady got transferred to my father office, they are exchanging expensive gifts, he comes home very late and does not give us time, he just avoid us, earlier he used to love me and my mom very much but now thing have he is only doing his duty today us like paying household bills, etc but there is no love, l used to be his most precious darling daughter, if was sick he used to stay awake all night and take care of me and now if was sick he tells, l am just wasting his as he has to pay for my medicine, my mother is a housewife, my father used to take very good care of us, so she didn't feel the need to work, though she is had masters degree in political science, my mother love my father very much inspite of knowing all these. l am very depressed, l can't take so much neglect by my father ....l don't want to live ...l want to end my life.... because of all these my and my mother's life has become a living hell. ...l am not able to concentrate on my studies. If you will end your life, how will your mother survive without u as she is already living without the love of her husband? You are her strength and the reason for her survival. Concentrate on your studies. Don't compromise your career. Help your mom to get a job as being financially stable will make her confident and strong enough to deal the situation. Try to talk to your dad n make him understand that he means the world to you and your mom. You can also do one thing. Talk to that lady n try to make her understand about your n your mother's condition. Give her a chance to AM

save hers family too else gather proofs first n tell her husband/ son about all this. If nothing works, wait for right the time surely some way will come out and everything will be fine one day.

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25-YEAR - OLD FEMALE . I GOT MARRIED IN 2018. Everything was fine until I got pregnant with twins. My in-Law's behavior was suddenly changed; they were concerned that it could be two baby girls. I spent most of my time in parental home during pregnancy, as my in-laws were not taking care of me properly. My husband is the only child of his parents and earned a handsome salary of 35k. I was pregnant with twins normal delivery was not possible. Doctor asked for c-section delivery, which was expensive. My In-laws refused for C-section delivery. They said whether three of us die or survive. I got my babies delivered with my parents one son and one daughter. After 2 months I went back to In-laws. My In-laws were treating my son well but they just didn’t care about my daughter. They started ill-treating me and provoking my husband against me. They want my husband to get rid of me and remarry another girl. I want to focus on my studies and do a job. I want to become independent so that I can provide everything and a bright future for my kids. A few days ago my husband hit me so hard and compelled me to leave the house. My in-laws want me to divorce him and arrange a second marriage for him. But I still love my husband and want to stay with him. He is not answering my calls and messages. I do not know what to do. Please help me. You should wait for a month without taking any decisions and then contact your husband and calmly talk and ask what he is actually upto and what problem does he have. If things are still not clear, file FIR and do everything you need to for your children and yourself.

AM A

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20 YEARS OLD AND LOVE MY FAMILY FRIEND’S SON. WE were together from class 1-7 but then he shifted to another city for higher education. Now I am preparing for medical and he is IIT Delhi. I told him that I have a crush on him. He demanded some time to think. Meanwhile, he wished me a Birthday. The next day when I asked him about his response, he told me that he could not get into all this, as he has to focus on his studies. I respected his decision then after 2 days he blocked me from WhatsApp and asked me to text him that I love him but he rejected by saying, he doesn’t and then he blocked me again. After a while, he said that I am a nice girl and he does not want to get into this. After 3.5 years, he will think about me. Should I wait or not? He wants you to wait for 3.5 years and it is uncertain, however, you have 5.5 years for bright future in medical science. Love yourself and focus on your career. He is an intelligent person who wants to focus on his studies. Also, try to divert your mind. AM

Woman’s Era ● February 2021

I! I AM 35 YRS OLD MARRIED WOMAN WITH A DAUGHTER. MY

husband is very busy and doesn't love me. I have fallen in love with 35 yrs old another man with a son. He proposed to me during teenage but due to some circumstances, I rejected him then. Now I have fallen in love with him and I came to know that he still loves me. He is also married. Shall I continue with him? Well, it just doesn’t involve your life, but your child’s life too. Think about that. Also, the person, you have fallen in love with is also married, he might even have a kid. Your one wrong decision can ruin many lives so it would be better if you talk to your husband about the time issue. And let go of that married man.

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HAVE CHEATED MY BOYFRIEND ONCE THOUGH THERE WAS NO

physical cheat. He forgave me with some conditions. I failed to comply with a few out of many conditions. But he is so broken at this moment. He doesn’t trust me at all. He still loves me. Can you please guide me on how can I assure him to trust me again? Please exclude from suggestions to make promises as I broke to comply with some conditions which I promised. I love him. And ready to do things for him. Please help me to find the answer. All you need to do is give time to your boyfriend. Give him some time and space and then apologize to him and have a deep conversation. Try to know what he wants and be loyal to him. 32 YEARS OLD. MY HUSBAND IS 37. WE GOT MARRIED IN 2017. It was an arranged marriage. My husband and family wants to have a baby but I’m not ready for it. I am a working lady and it is the peak of my career. I don't know what to do. Please, give me some suggestions. You need to have a real conversation with your husband about this. You will be the one to be responsible for the child. Off course your husband and family will support you but it will be totally your call. Tell them what you wish to do. AM

’M A FEMALE OF 27 YEARS. I GOT DIVORCED IN JUNE BUT I CAN’T forget my husband. He blocked me on WhatsApp before the divorce. But now he had unblocked me and keeps a track of my WhatsApp status. I want to talk to him but I am clueless how to initiate a talk. After divorce, we don’t owe anything to each other, then why he unblocked me. I don’t understand how to crack a conversation without giving him any wrong hints. Please suggest. Well, you need to move on in your life. You should rather focus on moving on and also let him move on. If still you would like to talk to him, don’t get personal and just drop him a casual text like hi.

EY !

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I NEED YOUR SUGGESTION . I HAVE BEEN IN A relationship since 2017. He used to chat a lot earlier. But he changed completely after 5-6 months. He neither calls me nor shares anything. We had never talked about his past. Now our families are planning our wedding within a year. He is still not ready to accept our relationship

publically. He doesn't like it if I do the talk about it openly. But whenever I ask about the breakup, all of sudden, he is so caring. I can't share anything with him because of time issues, communication gaps, and long-distance relationship. Sometimes, he is so loving and the very next moment he doesn't care at all. I'm so confused about what to do. You need to have a serious conversation with your boyfriend. You can conclude to the decision only after that. Clear things out and know what exactly is going in his mind.

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E HAVE A LOVE MARRIAGE BUT MY HUSBAND IS A

Mumma's boy. He doesn't earn much. My mother in law treats me like a servant. She makes me wash her footwear. She always points out mistakes in everything. I had gone through two miscarriages within the last one and a half years. My face got paralyzed two times. My in-laws are threatening me about my husband's remarriage as I have been unable to conceive for the last four months. I don't have a father or bother. My mother's health is also not good. I have lost all my self-confidence. I am in a deep depression. Please help me out. First of all, you need to have a talk with your husband regarding this whole scenario. Try to know his side of the story too. Then, you need to figure out that what’s the matter with your mother in law. Try to make her understand your issues. Being a woman, she might understand your situation. I FRIENDS !

I' M AN ENGINEERING GRADUATE . N OW I'M A housewife having a two-year-old daughter. I've spent three and a half successful years of my married life. I'm Hindu, my husband is Christian. After two years of deep love, we get married. At that time, we talked a lot about the future. We were so understanding. But now the issue is we don't speak about our religious views. Our marriage was performed in a Hindu temple and then in a Christian church for the satisfaction of our parents. After my daughter was born, the confusion happened between our parents which religion name will be selected for our daughter. But I and my husband were very clear and we selected a common name it was like a Muslim name. All went fine. But in the past month, I realise some changes in my husband's behavior. He removed all Hindu god photos from our living room. And he scolded me a lot for putting kumkum on my daughter's forehead while I do pooja. He gets angry while I'm watching Hindu god songs on TV. Now I feel very depressed. And feel like I was in some stranger's house. I feel very bad and don't know how to recover from this. Sometimes, people have different point of views which is quite normal. In your case too, since you two belong to different religions, both of you have strong views. However, if you talk to your husband and ask him about what changed his behavior, you will find your answers. Just have a conversation with him and express your emotions.

Woman’s Era ● February 2021

Sharing

Toolkit! Simplest ways to inspire people and change their life. By Richa Goel

id it happen with you, when you shared something with others and you felt overwhelmed? The joy of sharing which brought a big smile on your face? Well, there are 2 types of people the one who strongly believes in helping others and has the perspective that the more they will share, the more they will gain. While the others have the perspective if they will share, the others will rise to leave them behind. So, come let’s see what all we can share with others-

In terms of Respect Expecting others to speak with you politely where you are in habit of speaking harshly or rudely will be wrong expectations. No matter the person you are talking to is elder or younger than you, if you will speak with respect and love with words like “Haanji”; “Aap” or “Ji”, it sounds good and respectful. If you will give respect, you can seek respect from others. People will always cherish to be around you and admire you for your soft way of speaking!

In terms of love Many people have money but they still strived for love and affection. The possible reasons may be their outdated thinking, living alone in a new place, introverts, old people whose children leave them to settle in abroad, broken hearts, etc. These people only seek for little time and love from you. Please 34

Spread Love to Everyone, It won’t Cost Much To you!

In terms of providing knowledge Some people have the wrong perspective that if they will provide their knowledge or skills to the other person, the other person will become more successful from them. Mostly I have seen this in younger children where they use to think that my friend will get better marks than me. But it’s important to make them understand that the more we share knowledge, the more we get perfect in our concepts. Moreover, the concepts, understanding level, detailed knowledge, and innovative ideas within you cannot be taken away from you.

SHARING THE PAIN OF OTHERS WILL HELP THEM TO HEAL. EVERYONE HAS LOSSESBUT IF WE SHARE THEM WITH OTHERS IT BECOMES BEARABLE. HELPING OTHERS TO EXPRESS THEMSELVES IN FRONT OF YOU CAN HELP THEM TO BRING SOME SORT OF PEACE AND RELAXATION IN THEIR LIFE. Woman’s Era

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In terms of money: Money is something that never becomes consistent in one’s life, sometimes it declines, while sometimes it rises. Why to become proud of being rich? Be thankful that you are blessed and keep helping others. Being grateful to others and receiving their blessings will help you to grow in terms of success.

In terms of sharing things The one who shares can never fall short of anything. There will be always a person to help you out with your difficulties. If you will integrate the values of sharing things with other people, you will always get inner satisfaction that God has given you the capabilities to help others. Sharing will prevent you from becoming greedy and selfish.

In terms of sharing pain: Sharing the pain of others will help them to heal. Everyone has losses- but if we share them with others it becomes bearable. Helping others to express themselves in front of you can help them to bring some sort of peace and relaxation in their life. We have the habit of keeping them instead of sharing them with someone. Share happiness and earn good wishes which will always make you remember till eternity. The beauty of happiness lies in “SHARING”. So, now think about which of the above persons you want to become? We

Shotrotry S

Hope

I t â&#x20AC;&#x2122; s g o o d t o h a v e . By Sree Kumar He looked up and there right in front of him stood Malini his heartthrob while in Mumbai. Unbelievable it was and it was looks of surprise all around. "You know him?" the old man asked "Very much, Appa, and you also know him through me," Malini said.

he truth they say is bitter. This incident is true and hence will not be a sweet one. But the truth has to be told now or later as it triumphs always. The story revolves around two close friends Govind and Suresh. They parted after graduation and had no contacts or communication for over 30 years. Govind had gone to the Gulf and Suresh employed in Mumbai. They hail from the same place but when one comes over on leave the other is away. Fate had other plans and both of them accidentally meet in a common place after many many years. In looks, both had changed drastically with receding hairlines and

body weight tipping towards the right. They embraced each other cutting short the long separation and surprisingly the friendship and warmth returned within no time. It was good for both of them as retired ones and used to meet very often remembering those good old days. Suresh remained a bachelor and Govind with two children married was a widower. Many a time "Why bachelor"? was asked and the reply by Suresh was always a smile. One day Govind revealed his mind to Suresh. Living alone has become difficult with children far away and a suggestion for remarriage Fate is great and gave me an opportunity to see you.

had come and the lady a distant relative, unmarried and Suresh should accompany him the next day to their house. It came as a total surprise and shock to Suresh and he was trying to find some excuse to wriggle out. "You know how much I depend on you for mental solace and you can't refuse this," Govind said. Next day they were off to the house and welcomed warmly by an sick old man. Being distant relatives they had much to talk about and the death of the lady of the house years earlier. Suresh was silent most of the time. This was no young man seeing a girl and cutting short the formalities the old man calls his daughter to join them in conversation. With Suresh not interested in the happenings was with his

head down when he heard the footsteps of one walking in. There was silence for a moment and then he heard it loud and clear "Suresh" He looked up and there right in front of him stood Malini his heartthrob while in Mumbai. Unbelievable it was and it was looks of surprise all around. "You know him?" the old man asked "Very much, Appa, and you also know him through me," Malini said. The old man was trying to recollect and slowly shades of memory lashed on him as if pushing him into a corner. Govind was trying in vain to make out what was happening when Malini came and sat down and

"What? What did you say?" her voice was loud " Yes, he remains unmarried." None spoke and Malini was sobbing uncontrollably.

spoke as if to her father. "Appa this is the same Suresh I was in love with when working in Mumbai. We were so much in love and wanted to get married but was refused by all due to the caste difference, "We will not be alive" from both of you made us drop the plans and the reason I remain unmarried even at this age. I agreed to this gentleman coming and seeing me just for your sake but I would have certainly told him of the difficulties as I can imagine no other person other than Suresh as my husband. Now that he is settled I will remain like this till the last". "Suresh is unmarried," murmured Govind Did it not fall on her ears?

Arranged-cumlove marriage I realize the well-known axiom goes 'Relationships are made in paradise'. However, I didn't know where that was or how to arrive, however, I unequivocally accept that God has an arrangement for us all of us fate will draw you by snare or by hooligan to where you should be. I had guaranteed my father that I would be prepared to consider marriage when I turned 26. Along these lines, however, I was at the

t was like a scene out of a movie with all the dramatics. The mission of the girl seeing came to an abrupt stop and it was becoming suffocating for each one searching for words. They bid farewell in an uncomfortable way. The whole situation was murky with Suresh and Govind not knowing what to talk to each other. A few days later a letter from Malini to Suresh and the edited version said... "I knew for sure that I will meet you some day but never imagined it to

pinnacle of my vocation running my lifestyle website. When my cousin recommended I should make an online profile and guess what? I did. I made a particularly dull profile on shaadi.com that my father, aunties, and cousins surrendered and concluded that at that rate, I could never discover a person. I didn't know I would get my fantasy fellow, yet I figured that there was no damage in difficult. I had a 30point list, which included everything from needing somebody tall and reasonable for needing him to a non-veggie lover and loves listening to music. He likewise must be socially mindful, creature well settled of, love reading, etc. I think I got about 95% of what was on my rundown; however, I've failed to remember quite a bit of it. All things considered, I think I've won a lottery and got far beyond what I sought after. I was not very enthused about moving out of Mumbai; however, I was conversing with somebody from London by then. He messaged me Woman’s Era

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February 2021

happen this way. Fate is great and gave me an opportunity to see you. Both of us know how much we loved each other and how much we wanted to be together but fate had other plans. “We have changed in looks and also in thoughts but confess that my feeling towards you remain as intense as ever. But we cannot reverted and I am glad you look healthy and handsome as ever. A lot of water has flowed and you have carved a life of your own. I wish you all good and happiness forever. “If I am asked the last wish it would be sitting by your side holding hands and looking into your eyes with silence speaking." The story is “live with We HOPE".

on nineteenth June 2018. It took me two days to answer as I was occupied. At the point when his same message arrived again, I have occupied again and however I answered exclusively following two days, what he had composed stood out enough to be noticed and I read it threefold. We talked at whatever point we got time. One fine day when he disclosed to me he likes me and needed to marry me somewhere near June, I advised him to stop thinking way too much because we had met through an arranged marriage scenario. After, a few days later I couldn’t control myself and, I confessed that I loved him as I felt that he can be the one, even before meeting him in person. My father knew that we were getting to know each other; when I finally told my dad I wanted to meet him, dad said to ask him to come to Mumbai. He stepped off the plane on Valentine’s Day, carrying flowers from Delhi, and stole my heart away. –By Meera Mathur 37

The Sex Pyramid What is your deepest desire? By Faizan Alee

taying alive on a tight eating routine drawn from one nutritional category isn't solid or satisfying. Even, eating cupcakes every minute of every day inevitably would get old! But with regards to taking care of our sexual hunger, a considerable lot of us depend on one mode to satiate the entirety of our emotional desires. Turns out,

ladies who request a similar feast at a similar cafĂŠ inevitably, in a manner of speaking, is passing up a great opportunity. Participating in various shagging styles forestalls weariness in the room, yet "it additionally satisfies your numerous physical and enthusiastic needs, permits you to communicate various parts of your character and empowers you

to develop explicitly as a team. Nobody is stating you need to introduce an acrobat in your room or welcome the neighbors to participate. But just as following the food pyramid's guidelines will improve your overall diet, integrating different types of sex into your routine can healthy, wellrounded, and satisfying sex life.

Intimacy A relaxed exploration of one another's body that permits you to restore your bond; it might incorporate intercourse. The benefits of having an orgasm may feel better; but more estimated lovemaking satisfies our natural requirement for enthusiastic closeness. Since feeling in a state of harmony is so essential to relationship fulfillment, close sex is frequently at the base of ladies' sex pyramid. "Feeling associated and passing on your love for each other expects you to back off and truly check out one another.”At the point when you rush to the end goal, it's anything but difficult to dismiss your accomplice's physical and passionate needs. No matter how long you've known your partner, he still can't read your mind, so communicate what makes you feel connected. He probably doesn't know how much you miss those marathon make-out sessions—you have to tell your partner! In the moment, do whatever you need to do to feel closer: Kiss, laugh, share a secret you've never told anyone. You'll feel so enamored that it won't matter whether it ends with a bang.

Be Adventurous What it is anything that is out of the domain of your daily practice, regardless of whether it's another position, sex in the shower, or sprucing up in a costume? The benefits Mixing it up in bed enhances your sexual self-esteem, so adventurous sex will probably fall somewhere in the middle of your sex pyramid. "Accomplishing something else, regardless of whether it's 'effective,' will expand your certainty and encourage you to step out of your usual range of familiarity all the more frequently. The formula if proposing the subject of, state, attempting another sex toy appears to be scared, you're following after some admirable people. "So many ladies need to explore different avenues regarding their partners yet aren't sure how

"FEELING ASSOCIATED AND PASSING ON YOUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER EXPECTS YOU TO BACK OFF AND TRULY CHECK OUT ONE ANOTHER.”AT THE POINT WHEN YOU RUSH TO THE END GOAL, IT'S ANYTHING BUT DIFFICULT TO DISMISS YOUR ACCOMPLICE'S PHYSICAL AND PASSIONATE NEEDS NO MATTER HOW LONG YOU'VE KNOWN YOUR PARTNER. to bring it up. They may stress their mate will believe he's deficient, or they're apprehensive he'll pass judgment on them or question where they concocted the thought in any case Woman’s Era

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February 2021

Electric What it is fast, angry, and strikingly short on foreplay: Let's do this here and at present! (Also known as quickie)The benefits for a busy lady who shuffles work, children, errands and that's only the tip of the iceberg, discovering time for sex can introduce a challenge. That is the reason a fast in and out can be the ideal arrangement when you have to sneak some loving' into a busy schedule. It's likewise a fun, powerful approach to show your accomplice that your relationship is still on the radar, so electric sex may involve one of the center levels of your pyramid. It can infuse a little energy into your life, as well: If both of you can move back from your work area in the day escaping to get together for an hour and so is thrilling. 39

Unapologetic

Responsibility

What if you simply had a significant victory? Now that it's over, all you want to do is take each other's clothes off so you can kiss and make out. The benefits No one is urging you to start a quarrel, however an intermittent sound, no abusive contention—wherein the two players communicate their emotions and conclusions—can be a holding experience. Besides, the hormone that is delivered during sex, oxytocin (otherwise called the cuddle hormone), can help encourage compromise. "Having intercourse is a type of expression of remorse in itself," expert says. It's a physical method to communicate that you love each other and need to work things out. Also, it's difficult to remain ticked off when you've been spooning throughout the night!

You know precisely what you need, and you're not going to stop until you get it. The benefits of Jumping into the driver's seat in the sack can be fantastically engaging. Assuming responsibility is an extraordinary chance to communicate and your wants, which fights that going after the reins can convert into feeling more emphatic external the room. Since being on the bossy side in bed isn't for everybody, assume responsibility sex regularly lives toward the head of most ladies' pyramid. It's diverse for each lady—

MASTURBATION ISN'T MESSY OR WRONG, YOU'RE NOT UNDERMINING YOUR ACCOMPLICE AND YOU WON'T BECOME DEPENDENT ON COUNTERFEIT INCITEMENT LIKE CHARLOTTE ON SEX AND THE CITY DID.

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it might mean being on top of blindfolding him. Offer those musings with your man to set the state of mind and get the show on the road; in case you're not slanted to have a discussion, demonstration it out whenever you're sleeping. "Having a specific visual picture in your mind will move you to transform your dream into a reality.

Solo The benefits Masturbation shouldn't be saved for droughts or those occasions when your nectar is away. In case you're seeing someone have a functioning sexual coexistence, solo sex may not be the first concern, so it might be at the tip of your pyramid. For single women, it may be nearer to the establishment. Yet, one thing's without a doubt: Singular meetings have some genuine advantages. They feel thrilling as well as can lessen pressure, empower rest, and assist you with pointing your accomplice the correct way when you do collaborate. Besides, "the more extended ladies abandon a climax, the less they need and need it after some time," Read says, clarifying that climaxes produce testosterone, a similar hormone that drives us to need sex in any case. So the more climaxes you experience, the more you need. The formula Take the preferred position of any calm alone time and twist up with a hot novel, hot film, or just your preferred dream. Rather than going straight for the typical problem areas, set aside the effort to investigate your stomach, thighs, and different more subtle yet erogenous zones. "There might be portions of your body you could never speculate to be sexual that end up offering extraordinary joy," Levine demands. Still watchful? Masturbation isn't messy or wrong, you're not undermining your accomplice and you won't become dependent on counterfeit incitement like Charlotte on Sex and the City did. It's only one of the numerous fixings that make up a flavorful, even sex diet. We

Tempting

Fare!

Fashionable and trendy clothing to look stunning and gorgeous.

Get ready for polka this season; we bring you some fun to add pop of colour to your wardrobe.

Yellow polka set Here we come with a retro look, to make it more exclusive we gave you a polka dot kurti with polka dot bell bottoms.

Mustard frill set A mesmerizing gold colour with the frills is the choice for this festive season.

Green frill kurta A unique pastel cyan colour with the frills on the front, sleeve and the collar says it all so take all the light wherever you go.

Golden only kurta Out stunning party wear kurta is detailed with colourful pearls perfectly adding that minimalist yet gorgeous bling!

Velvet set We introduce to our striking velvet colour block kurta, with the rarest combination of the colours on the sleeves. We paired it with white tulip pants to make it more traditional.

Velvet only kurta The best way to colour blocks this season by wearing this velvet kurti with beige on the sleeve end.

Four stripes kurta This colour blocks kurta is an easy breezy and light on the eyes.

Fashion by: Hera Khan founder and designer of Zubaida Model: Raveena Makeup: Micky Hairstyle: Aasim Photographer: Ramesh Sharma

Modern Arranged Marriages A couple will undoubtedly face issues and part of the idea of being someone’s partner is working on navigating through these things and coming out even stronger. But you’re fully aware of this and you’d like to know how to save a marriage so that you two can be happy together again! Improving things between you and your spouse is going to require patience, determination, and self-control. Whether the issue is an accumulation of little things that make both of you unhappy or something substantial that has happened, you can turn the situation around. I got married 20 yrs back. It was an arranged one. I was so nervous and we had met only once or twice before marriage. Not so sure of my husband’s temperament, I used to try cracking some conversation to know him better, but all in vain. We still got married, as my family found him suitable for me. But I was being told that he likes to speak less and he’s sort of a reserved person. My in-laws were good, co-operative, and understanding. Because my husband was never interested in talking to me, I felt dejected. I had a feeling that maybe he likes someone else or maybe he was forced into this marriage. Whatever was the situation with him, it was me getting suffered all the time. He was very punctual in his routine, an early riser, wanted breakfast on time, and then used to leave for office, without saying even a word. I used to cry a lot, feeling he doesn’t like me. 50

Six months passed like this only. I told everything to my parents. My mother was so concerned that in this way it won’t work. She tried talking to my husband and in-laws. My in-laws assured me that they will sort things out. Then my in-laws tried the typical traditional way of sorting things out and that was of course demanding a grandchild from their son. And then for the first time, I saw him so angry with his parents. I could not figure out the reason for his behavior. He went office after all this happened but for a change, he informed me that he will be at home for lunch and he wants to talk to me. Although he was so angry while leaving but I was happy that he wants to talk with me. It wasn’t a date still butterflies were there in my stomach. Time passed too early that day, but meanwhile, my parents called me and said that if it’s not working between me and him, we can get separated. Somehow, I wanted to be with him as I had Yes, how did you? We see many marriages floundering but we also see marriages between the unlikeliest of spouses, not only surviving but growing stronger with the years. Thanks to the tactics of one wise partner! Truly, a person’s successful marriage just does not happen, it has to be worked at. We would like to know as to how you overcame the crisis of a break-up or discord in your married life. Did your husband (or wife) have an infuriating habit, a hot temper, miserly ways, a roving eye or a lazy disposition? Since he is your husband, how did you cope with the situation and keep your marriage happy and home safe? Share your secret with us and millions of our readers all across the world. Contributions should be neatly written

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started admiring him a lot. He was so perfect in all his roles except being a husband. Finally, he came from the office, and during lunch, he asked me to join him. My husband was looking at me as if he wants a starting point to crack a conversation. There was an awkward silence, so I broke the ice by asking why he was angry in the morning. Then he told me that his parents want a grandchild. I got a little bit conscious. He immediately read my expression and said he’s not planning anything now. Then I asked what the issue is, he can tell me if he doesn’t like me or if there’s someone else in his life. He shared that during his college days he used to like a girl but she was a senior and she used to rag him. And the ragging done by that girl killed his self-confidence, now he doesn’t feel comfortable with any girl. That’s why all those cold reactions for me too. After listening to this, I was so relieved that there’s some hope; if we try, we can be happily married. So, we decided to be friends at first, and then we will move forward in the relationship. Gradually we fell in love and now we do have kids too. Just a conversation over lunch changed my whole life and saved my marriage. –By Sushila on one side of the paper. A declaration that it is your own true personal story must accompany the contribution. If you so desire, your name will not be published and you can use any penname. All contribu tions accept ed and published will be paid ` 500.

Send your entries to:

WOMAN'S ERA, Delhi Press Building, E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055 or click to www.womansera.com for submission Name Address City

Actor

A Magnificent

"It is a kind of luxury that OTT offers," Says Pati, Patni Aur Woh fame Anant Vidhaat. By Himshikha Shukla

rom movies like Gunday to Sultaan, and now an extraordinary series “Pati, Patni, and Woh”, Anant had been part of many successful projects. Here's an excerpt of an exclusive interview with Anant Vidhaat . From movies like Gunday to Sultaan, and now an extraordinary series “Pati, Patni Aur Woh”, you have been part of many successful projects. How does it feel when people do recognize and appreciate your work despite acting with big stars like Salman Khan and all? The feeling is astounding. It is wonderful that people recognize my work. I have immense gratitude for my fans and audiences who have

watched all the movies and shows I am part of. It is incredible that despite working around big stars I still got noticed. I feel extremely fortunate. How was your experience working with Yashraj Films? Were your previous projects as an assistant director help in any way? YRF is amazing in their treatment towards the actors, and it is wonderful how they take care of all actors on the set. I have great regards for YRF and I absolutely love to work for any opportunity that comes from them. I worked as an Assistant Director under Satish Kaushik ji. I came to Mumbai to assist him right after my final graduation examination in Delhi. That period in particular was very important for me as I got to learn about how films are actually made. Understanding how a movie set functions and getting used to the ambience of a film making environment is very crucial. And Woman’s Era

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this period of learning helped me immensely when I became an actor, as the film making environment was not alien to me. But actually there was a big gap between me being an Assistant Director and becoming an actor in movies, as after my assistant director days I went to Europe for around 3 years for my further in-depth actor training and then came back to Mumbai. When did you decide to pursue acting as a career? How was your journey up to here coming from a non-acting background? I had started acting early in my school days. I used to take part in school plays and street plays during that time. When I was 13 or 14 I admitted to my parents about my desire to be an actor. I also started to engage in workshops held by TIE which is a part of the National School of Drama’s theatre education for children around the same time. During my college (Kirori Mal College, DU) I was an integral part of our theatre society ‘The Players’ and then I went to Grotowski Institute, Poland for an in-depth theatrical study and also went to Kerala after that to sharpen my skills further, eventually came to Mumbai to pursue my career in acting. 51

What were the challenges you faced, before getting established in Bollywood? I believe it’s a journey and it’s hard to ever claim that one is established in Bollywood. I don’t know in this profession at what point one can really feel established. Especially when you are an outsider it can be quite tricky. As an Actor I had my own journey, I come from a theatre background, and luckily My friends and colleagues from my theatre days were also finding work in Mumbai and we became a common network for each other. Some of us were here to be actors, some directors and writers so we all remained connected and tried to support each other to grow and achieve our dreams whenever there was a possibility. Any recent web series which you watched and wanted to be a part of it? Do you see any actor or celebrity as your competition in the industry? There are a lot of web series that have good content today. I recently watched Paatal Lok and I just loved it. Specially the effortless and brilliant Jaideep Ahlawat, It was a sheer pleasure watching him. But when I watch any show or movie, I watch them as an audience. I don’t think of becoming a part of it or replacing anyone while watching it. But yes a truly good movie or show inspires one to do such work. I don’t consider anyone as my competitor or myself as a competition to anybody in the industry. Such competition doesn’t exist anymore as every performer has their own space to perform and get appreciated for their work and every artist is getting the opportunity they deserve. Now with the increasing number of platforms with OTT coming into the picture the scope of visibility has also increased. Whether it is a new show with fresh faces or a big Hollywood movie, one sees the posters of all the movies and shows lined up one after the other on the same platform. 52

Which was your best performance till now, according to you? If you got a chance to recreate any 90s movie and play a lead in it, which movie would it be? It is very difficult to choose amongst the characters that I have played. The journey is very important, how was your life at that time, and how the character helped you and you helped the character to shape up. Every character is actually very special as especially in movies you get to play the character only once in your life. All characters are special and I can’t say that a cameo I played in a movie is any less than any bigger role or lead role that I have played in my career span. In the 90's I was a big fan of Shahrukh Khan. I used to watch all his movies. The one movie that I would like to recreate if I have the opportunity would be “Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa” directed by Kundan Shah. I loved SRK’s performance in the movie and it will be an absolute pleasure to recreate the character “Sunil”. What projects are you currently working on? Which project is going to release first in the coming days? Right now I am shooting for a Netflix Show called “Mai” which is directed by Atul Mongia. Another project which was expected to release in 2020 but could not because of the pandemic, the movie’s name is “Mere Desh ki

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Dharti”. It is due for release soon when the cinema halls will open up. I am playing one of the lead roles in it along with Divyendu Sharma who plays the other. What is more challenging among web series, films and theatre plays? Which one is your favourite genre? I don’t have any favorites. All three come with different challenges and excitement. Television, Cinema or anything that has to do with cameras is different from theatre as in theatre you have to perform amongst live audience. So it is better to treat all of them differently for the uniqueness they bring with themselves. Do you think Web series and OTT platforms are changing the regular equations of the entertainment industry? Where did you find yourself standing in Silver screen vs OTT? It has definitely changed the equation. Also, due to the Covid situation OTT has found a dominant position for itself as people are mostly at home and looking for good contents on different OTT channels. Fundamentally, it is storytelling through camera, a good web series, or a good movie whether on OTT or in Cinema theatre appeals similarly to people. But OTT has its advantages which are huge, whether it is the money risk or the time frame one has to tell their story in, OTT has provided an alternative which is more flexible and friendly. In Cinemas one has to finish story telling in 3 hours. But in OTT you can keep telling stories for 10, 20, 30, 40 hours, make 6 seasons out of it with multiple episodes. It is a kind of luxury that OTT offers. But I don’t think there is any need to categorize actors or directors on the basis of the Silver screen or OTT. Big movie directors are making web shows and web movies similarly big movie stars are doing web content. It is not a question of choosing any one over the other; rather OTT should be seen as an extension or alternative to the cinema. We

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Bridal

Skin Care Brides-to-be try these home remedies to get enviable radiant skin. By Monika Agarwal

edding day is a very important day for a young woman who also aspires to look like a princess with radiating skin on her wedding day. With a number of festivities lined up to celebrate the happy occasion, it is important that the young bride-tobe looks as fresh as a daisy. According to Rumana Johar, Makeup Artist at JD Institute of Fashion Technology, though the wedding occasion is a happy one, it usually does tend to overwhelm a lot of brides-to-be due to the array of things that need to get done along with the added pressure to look ones best. Hence in order to be ready it is important to keep some

tips in mind, to breeze through the pre-wedding functions and waltz into the D-Day like a dream. However, the preparation to look ones best needs to start months in advance. Shares some vital guidelines to get not just an external radiance but also glow from within, a pre-requisite for every bride. Though in the modern times visiting a dermatologist months in advance and a beauty salon a couple of days before the wedding is customary, one can never underestimate the power of the age-old home remedies. One may scoff and think that these remedies are passé in this 21st century, but the older generations vouch by them. Rightly so, since in the older times without access to readymade off the counter beauty treatments were not available, one had to turn to nature and their kitchen for their pre-wedding beauty rituals. Though home-grown remedies are slowly gaining traction, just like every other make-up routine it is important to understand our skin type and the reaction we will get from a particular ingredient. The reason to understand these conditions will help to identify the kind of ingredients to steer

clear from. Some fruits and vegetables have the potential to cause an allergic reaction; it’s a trial and error method. Hence one needs to start by doing a patch test to identify what will suit their body. Hence, brides-to-be are advised to start their skin prep and exercise regime atleast 4-5 months prior to the wedding to avoid any allergies and to get the best results.

Pre-Bridal skin care regime Sleep deprivation is a common complain for most brides-to-be. Hence a total of 7 – 8 hours of sleep is a must. This is beneficial to look fresh and prevent dark circles, puffiness on the face and edginess. Food is also important during this time. Include a well-balanced diet atleast 5 – 6 months before the wedding to get a glowing skin. It should also include fresh fruits, green leafy vegetables and the consumption of green juices. Junk food, alcohol, coffee, cigarettes, fizzy drinks and late night partying should be avoided. Also stay away from using citric fruits, Eucalyptus oil and Rosemary on your skin depending on your skin. Minimum of 2 – 3 litres of water must be consumed on a daily basis to flush out toxins and makes your skin feel hydrated. Apart from food, it is

essential to get a good workout to stay fit and in shape for the running around that will be required for the festivities. The plus side of incorporating a fitness regime will also prevent bloating, improves blood circulation will deliver oxygen and nutrients to the skin which keeps the skin healthy, promotes collagen production.

Remedies for Glowing skin There are different face masks and regimes that suit particular skin type.

For Normal skin Mix juice of whole Lemon Juice, fistful of Multani Mitti (Fullerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Earth) and two tablespoons of water to make a face mask. This should be applied on the face and neck. This will ensure evening out the skin tone. Adding pinch of turmeric and strands of saffron elevates the glow on the face. Apart from lemon juice, multani mitti can be combined with mint or even coffee. Just like the combination with lemon juice, mint also helps to get rid of acne, whereas the combination with coffee helps to exfoliate the skin.

For Dry Skin Mix Honey, few drops of Rose water and half a cup of plain Curd and apply on the face and neck. Wash face well and dry it completely, then add toner before adding the mask to the face. This mask helps to get an even tone and makes the skin look brighter, nourishes the skin and provides moisture thus enhancing the glow. It also hydrates the skin and makes it look plump.

APART FROM FOOD, IT IS ESSENTIAL TO GET A GOOD WORKOUT TO STAY FIT AND IN SHAPE FOR THE RUNNING AROUND THAT WILL BE REQUIRED FOR THE FESTIVITIES.

Tea Tree Essential Oil: A natural astringent, tea tree works effectively in reducing oily skin as well as tightening and toning large pores. It’s also a powerful acnefighter. Apart from the different types of facemasks for different skin types, there are some Generic face packs that can be used for any types of skins. Turmeric: This kitchen ingredient is blessed with anti-bacterial properties. Mix about half a teaspoon of turmeric powder with a cup of gram flour (chickpea flour). Add enough milk/water and mix well to form a smooth paste. Now, add a few drops of rose water and mix again. Apply this paste on your face and neck and leave on till it dries. Then, rinse off with cool water.

For Combination Skin For those who are unsure of their skin type use a mix of essential oils as per skin requirement and separate skin face packs can be applied. Coconut Oil: This humble nutty fruit repairs and nourishes skin. Deeply penetrates skin pores, hydrates and lubricates dry skin cells. Protects skin from free deepseated damage and offers sun protection. Heals inflammations and clears acne.

WEDDING IS AN IMPORTANT DAY FOR YOUNG WOMEN, HENCE, LOOKING AND FEELING GREAT GOES HAND IN HAND. NOT JUST EXTERNAL LOOKS BUT INTERNALLY TOO, THE BRIDE NEEDS TO FEEL REJUVENATED AND READY TO TAKE ON THE DAY WITH APLOMB.

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Honey: Honey acts a moisturiser and hydrates your skin. You can directly apply honey on your face and neck area but ensure that your skin is clean and damp. Massage for a few minutes, allowing it to get absorbed by the skin. Now, wash off with lukewarm water. Besan and Haldi: Use this pack for the medicinal effects of Haldi and scrub essence of Besan. Apply it all over your body and keep it for five minutes. Multani mitti can also be used for body glow. Wash the body pack with normal to lukewarm water. Apart from the face, the eyes are a defining feature for brides-to-be. Hence, eyes also need equal care.

The best routines for getting rid of dark circles and under eye bags are: ● Place cucumbers for 15-20 minutes under the eye. This reduces the appearance of dark circles ● Tea bags have the added benefit of antioxidants that helps to soothe eyes, tea bags can be directly applied under the eyes ● Potatoes rich in Vitamin C and most commonly used to treat under eye. Slice the potatoes and directly apply it on the skin. Extract the juice from the potato and soak some cotton makeup remover pads in the juice. Place the pads on the eyes for about 10 minutes and then rinse with warm water. However, just following the above mentioned steps are not important, instilling a disciplined skincare regime is also important to follow without fail. Cleanse twice a day, remove makeup before going to bed,

moisturise the skin, exfoliate face and skin twice a week. Use face masks twice a day, Add face serums to your skin care regime and also use eye creams to prevent puffiness. Rumana Johar, Makeup Artist at JD Institute of Fashion Technology, says Exfoliation is another important addition in the skin care regimen. Helps to stimulate collagen and keeps the skin looking tight and youthful. The following natural exfoliant recipes are easy to create with great results. ● Mixing aloe vera gel with honey and 2 drops of tea tree oil can reduce acne prone skin ● Oat meal scrub, Oats mixed with coconut oil with brown sugar makes a good exfoliant ● This nutritious nut is not just great in taste but also helps to provide a radiant skin. Grind Almonds and mix with milk to make

an effective scrub. ● Coffee powder mixed with granulated sugar and water or lemon juice can help achieve gorgeous skin When we take care of other aspects of our face, why leave lips behind. Hence exfoliating lips are equally important. Some of the tips to get naturally enviable lips are as follows: ● Sugar lip scrub mixing finely ground sugar with almond milk / coconut oil / honey / Vitamin E oil can help achieve soft lips. ● Coffee lip scrub combining coffee with oil / honey. Wedding is an important day for young women, hence, looking and feeling great goes hand in hand. Not just external looks but internally too, the bride needs to feel rejuvenated and ready to take on the day with aplomb. We

Silence of the Valley The gorgeous ravines resonate in the sound of silence, The ghosts of the kindred haunt in the dead of the night, The cold darkness fills a dread in me, I shudder as I think of my friend. His soul music caressed the cool breeze A melancholy in every strum,

His music reverberates in my ears Alas! Fills me with profound sorrow.

“Oh! My beautiful home,” God’s own creation Humans have torn apart And turned it into a living hell, I yearn for that dear friend, his soothing music, “Will I ever see him again?” I wonder... “What lies beyond the hills?” I wonder. – Revathi Raj Iyer.

We grew up here amidst cloaked innocence, Watching the clouds, descend like a blanket To protect us, the hills and the valley. The sunshine kissed the mountains The moonlight shimmered over the valley, A poet rose within me As the beauty overwhelmed my senses, My home was a heaven, Now, a graveyard warped with time I emerge as a grave digger Knew not why my destiny was so, Why did I not run away? Did hope fail me abominably? I am too depressed and drained To even think straight, The poet in me had died slowly I live in the shadow of ghosts. 58

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Time for Self-Talk Little Time To Myself. By Richa Goel

here comes a moment in our life when we all find ourselves on the path where we can't understand in which direction to move? The problems are surrounded all over us and we do not understand where to proceed? Maybe, we all are in a situation where nothing seems right nor wrong. We know that we are not happy but still we do not know what is lacking. We are still in those moments of life. Neither there is excitement to perform some task nor a problem to cry over. Sometimes, family issues, relative's taunt, over workload make us pissed off. It may be due to the monotonous life or nature of work where we too don’t know how to react. Sometimes it seems as if everything is happening against our wishes. We have so much to say but fall short of words to express. Maybe, we are tired of explaining our point of view, maybe, we are too habitual to the situation that we don’t bother to react, maybe, and we do not have further stamina left to fight for ourselves. There comes a moment when all of us want to

OUR BRAIN ALSO GETS TIRED OF WORKING 24X7. IT'S A PHASE OF TIME WHERE WE WANT PEACE OR REST. stay neutral. Our brain also gets tired of working 24x7. It's a phase of time where we want peace or rest. No opinions, no guidelines, no advice, just a small interval of pause in our life where we can figure out what is happening in our life. We need a break from our regular life. At this moment, we may become rude, confused, motionless, quiet, neutral, annoying, agitated etc. Like it depends on person to person how they react. The Emptiness of thoughts sometimes works as a refreshing button. We need it once in a few months. It is real freedom indeed.

SELF TALK MATTERS FOR US It's okay if you are investing time in yourself. It's your life and giving time to yourself is nothing wrong. Woman’s Era

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Sometimes we all need is selfobservation to figure out things, making a list of our priorities on which we can work forward. Even the trees shed their leaves in autumn to flourish during winters. Similarly, the Sun sets in the evening to rise the next morning. So, it’s absolutely fine if we go out of the track to find our own potentials. Don’t push yourself down by thinking about others, rather follow your dreams. Our Self-Talk matters for us. Never stop exploring yourself. At last, It’s Your Own Life and It’s Fine, to be imperfect sometimes. Give yourself time to heal, accept and to grow! Remember to always chase the things you deserve. “If you are successful for taking out time for yourself, consider yourself Lucky. None of us are living forever, so pour your heart by speaking out the hidden feelings and set yourself free from all the pains. You have one life, do everything that makes your heart happy and brings peace to your mind! ” We 59

! Kids r a e inter W W

Fashionable Toddler.

Let your little one stay relaxed all day long by making them wear this jacket.

Make morning walks, picnics and casual outings more stylish with this trendy outfit.

The jacket has a hood attached with two cross pockets in front making it exquisite winter clothing for children.

This smart Red Velvet jacket comes with easy to do front buttons and it is an ideal winter wear, made with high quality, it keeps your baby boys warm.

uman beings cannot survive without a social network. From an evolutionary perspective, a feeling of belongingness is necessary for social life for survival. When people are intentionally excluded from a group, the experience can cause undue psychological stress, leading to depression and suicidal ideation. Inclusion is essential for safety, physical well-being, reproductive success, and mental health. Being excluded can be stressful on a number of fronts and produce negative thoughts that can weaken the immune system and cause physical illnesses in the long run. As paradoxical as it may sound, belongingness is closely linked to our self-esteem. Belonging to a group defines our social identity, which is a significant component of our individual identity. Social identity is the image of yourself that emerges from the awareness that you belong to one or more groups, which are in turn characterized by their own values and characteristics. Consequently, social exclusion is one of the most painful experiences anyone can go through.

The Risk of

Social Isolation Can Social Exclusion Lead To Suicide? By Monika Agarwal

The marginalization of an individual by a group or even being ignored by another individual can negatively affect the quality of life. If someone is ignored for a short duration, they can recover from the psychological effects. If the act is prolonged, the effect can turn chronic. Chronic exclusion causes chronic pain, which is associated with high levels of negative emotions and a generally grim prognosis.

The effect of social exclusion Practically speaking, social exclusion is linked to the risk of unproductively, poverty, and further marginalization. The social problems related to exclusion are important from sociological, psychological, and economic points of view. Such experiences are commonplace and categories of people who are most vulnerable include single women, unemployed people, the disabled, and the homeless. In truth, all of us undergo a lot of pain when we are excluded from a group. There are also periods in one's life when one is more vulnerable to such experiences, especially in adolescence. It is one of the most important periods for fostering and strengthening social relationships with our peer group. The need for a social identity is the most important need at this stage of life. Acceptance and popularity greatly play an important role at this stage. Exclusion by peers can make one feel unaccepted and create intense negative feelings, which are often exacerbated by bullying. Bullying is a widespread social behavior that is persistent across all age groups. It is often characterized by violent verbal and physical behavior, apart from indirect psychological aggression. Bullies intentionally act out such behaviours on their victims repeatedly. It becomes hard to identify when it is acted through peer exclusion strategies, which are quite commonplace but not as easily noticeable.

This is compounded by the fact that newer forms of social exclusion have emerged with new technologies, with cyber bullying and sexting being the most commonly reported. There have been multiple reports of adolescents being mocked, insulted, and attacked social media, so much so that they have had to change schools. Sexting can also lead to social violence if it is done non-consensually, scarring the victims deeply.

PRACTICALLY SPEAKING, SOCIAL EXCLUSION IS LINKED TO THE RISK OF UNPRODUCTIVELY, POVERTY, AND FURTHER MARGINALIZATION. THE SOCIAL PROBLEMS RELATED TO EXCLUSION ARE IMPORTANT FROM SOCIOLOGICAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL, AND ECONOMIC POINTS OF VIEW. How can we address it? Such occurrences have led to an increase in the risk factor for suicide. It is something that is turning out to be a serious problem in countries across the world. It is time we consider it a global public health problem, and take steps to design and implement appropriate interventions to prevent suicide cases from going up. Suicide is particularly difficult to deal with because it is deeply tied to a number of religious and cultural traditions. Although researchers and psychological experts have suggested that suicide screening programs and suicide prevention programming at the school level helps lower the rate of suicides, we don't have evidence-based comprehensive programs yet. To Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Era

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February 2021

make progress on this front, we have to overcome the cultural barriers that prevent dialog and confrontations on these issues that are not only delicate but also come with varying degrees of cultural baggage. Social exclusion is a complex phenomenon and can be analyzed by experts from different disciplines from different points of view, with many possible areas of convergence and divergence. By factoring in quantitative aspects based on neuroscience and qualitative ones based on psychology and sociology, we can deepen our understanding of the subject and come up with useful strategies to promote social inclusion. The pandemic has brought mental health issues to the forefront again and with a potential epidemic looming over the horizon, we need more rigorous research on this subject to foster greater peer unity and prevent suicides. We 63

Go Forth And Be

s u o l u b a F

Life is party, dress like it.

Pair this rose pink batlik inspired beach gown with strappy flats to get that mesmerizing look.

Crafted in a premium material, this long ruby beaded embellished beauty will surely raise the bar of your off duty styling.

Fashion by: Japnah Gaambhir, Founder & Designer of Majestic by Japnah Jewellery by: Aditi Gupta, Multi Designer Clothing Accessories. Model: Eba Bastian Makeup: Ayesha Irani Hairstyle: Pankaj Sagar

Size Matters! Are You Wearing the Right Bra and Undergarment Size? By Biimla Arya

ra fitting can be confusing because there are so many pieces to literally fit together, and it’s not something most Indian women are taught — not at home, in school, or anywhere else. There’s no real mechanism for that education. It’s not taught in high school health classes. Many mothers overlook the chance to help their daughters get fit correctly, perhaps because they never experienced the benefits of the right fit themselves. Wearing the right bra is not just a matter of fashion – it’s a matter of health and self-esteem. And yet 7085% of women are wearing the wrong bra size. Even women who know their bras are uncomfortable and ill-fitting grab the same size over and over again, hoping for a different result.

Debunk the tree biggest myths of bra sizing Myth 1: You don’t fit. That is simply not true. Bras come in sizes that range from AAA to N, so there is a bra out there for virtually everybody, FIND IT. Myth 2: Once you find your bra size, you are done. In fact, bra size is a moving target. Ask any growing teenager, new mother, or mature woman. Bodies change and bra sizes right along with them. Myth 3: It’s easy to find your bra size. Simply put––it’s not. If you have ever adjusted a slipping bra 66

strap, felt uncomfortable in your bra, or wished for a better silhouette, then you know that the quest for the ideal bra can feel hopeless.

What you need A woman needs to wear supportive and appropriate undergarments at all time. It is essential that every woman has the correct bra for her unique body shape. Selecting the right underwear for your unique body type makes all the difference in how your clothes fit and lay against your body.

Undergarments tips: ● For more support, chose a bra with wider shoulder straps and wider side straps to give more support to the bust area while smoothing out the back. ● Different body types require different design. (Knowing your body type is a key) ● Pick a bra with appropriate coverage. (Know your bust size) ● Go staples if your dress is staples or has thin straps. ● Choose panties that don’t leave you with any visible pan tie line. ● Do not choose panties that are too tight and dig into your skin, this will give you unflattering and needless rolls of skin. ● Choose the right color panties for your outfit. Wearing dark

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panties with a light dress is often disastrous.

Bra Care Having big boobs means you need to wear a bra every day or run the risk of giving yourself a black eye! Investing in the right bras is essential and you want your bras to last as long as possible so here are some tips to give your bras a happy long life and a couple to keep your boobs feeling great.

Always have at least 3 everyday bras My Mum’s tried and tested phrase is “one to wear, one to wash and one to air” and it turns out she’s right. The elastic in your bra is what keeps you comfortable and perky. The elastic heats up as you wear your bra and the heat stretches out the elastic. It takes over 24 hours for the elastic in your bra to return to its shortest form (and therefore most supportive). The elastic will eventually stretch to the point where it can’t bounce back which is why bras don’t live forever.

How to wash your bra Across all over my area little acts of bra brutality are happening on a daily basis. It’s commonly referred to as ‘the tumble dryer’. Here I can offer you a guide to making your bra live longer We through good care.

Friendship knows no barriers When we are abroad all Asian people grouped together. Whether it is at the United states or United Kingdom or Australia or New Zealand. I was a new bride on my maiden visit to Sheffield in England while she was a rural uneducated woman from Pakistan. We met and became instant friends though we could converse only in broken Hindi, English or Urdu or by sign language. Her elder son and daughter were older than me while the second daughter Farah was my age. Farah visited me on the tenth day of my reaching there and introduced me to her mother. Mrs Cheema, though unlettered, was a woman of the world. She had learnt everything about the place and could guide me in shopping, dressing and visiting. She was warm, a bit loud but quite jolly. We had a common backyard where we could meet. The strong aroma of Punjabi food wafting from her kitchen drew me like a magnet. My cooking was very basic as I had not much bothered about it back home, so her aloo ki sabji and chole were very inviting. She loved sharing these with me. I learnt later that her husband and five children despised Asian cooking and preferred the English food. She did not like it so she cooked only for herself (and now for me). We met every day as we worked together and this soon became routine. We did not visit each other though we were close neighbours. This went on for some six months or so when she fell ill. As she did not come out for three days I decided to visit her. She was alone and very sick. I was shocked on seeing her uncarpeted and unheated room, quite different from the rest of the house. She shed tears on seeing me and told me that her children and husband

tolerated her but did not even speak to her. I called a taxi and took her to the hospital as she was quite ill. Here she introduced me as her daughter to everyone around. I was touched! She was not only my neighbour, but my friend and now almost like my mother. She soon became well and resumed duties and we continued meeting every day. She told me how her husband had come here and later asked the elder two children to join him. A few years later the remaining three came but she was not invited. A bold lady, she herself made all arrangements and joined them, to their dismay. By this time they had become westernised, wore western clothes and even shed their Asian names. Fakhra became Farah and Shaida became Sherry. The children all lived their own lives, mixing with the local people, going for parties and dancing while the mother was left all alone in an unheated uncarpeted room. Only the elder son occasionally spoke to her. She became very fond of me and literally treated me like a daughter. I became pregnant and she fawned over my like a fond hen over her brood. She advised me and looked after me. And then came a time when I had to say goodbye to her and return to India. I was eight months pregnant and my husband’s training had come to an end. As I packed my bags, Mrs Cheema could not control her tears. Nor could I. It was as if she was losing her flesh and blood daughter. We were being torn apart. We did not know whether we would ever meet again. She hugged me close and pressed a small trinket in my hands as blessings for the unborn. And as I boarded the plane on my return journey, my eyes were wet and my thoughts flew to her. Who would look after her? Who would speak to her now? With a heavy heart I bade goodbye. Some 20 years later my husband and I went back to Sheffield on a Woman’s Era

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brief visit. We had some work in London and I wanted to see my first home after marriage again. I could not resist going to Harcourt road where I once lived. The houses were the same. I could swear that the dustbins at the entrance were still the same. The garden where I had spent many a happy moment was still there. So were the doors, the window and everything. The lake which I could see from my window was there, boating was going on and the big fat white ice-cream fellow was perhaps the same, I didn’t know. It was as if time had stood still and I was transported back two decades. I glanced at my neighbour’s house. Was the Cheema family still there? I stood outside for a long time pondering. Twenty years is a long period and she would have been in her eighties or nineties if she was still alive. Should I knock? A little later I turned away and got into the car taking me back to London. I wanted my happy memories and my friendship with Mrs Cheema to be unsullied. I did not want to learn that she was dead or that she was alone and sick. Let sleeping dogs lie, I felt, and said a small prayer as I went back. But my memories of a good neighbour , friend and mother still live in my mind. And nothing can destroy it. – Dr Veena Adige, Mumbai.

Do you have any sweet/sour experiences with you immediate neighbour? We will be glad to publish them. Please sent them to: NEIGHBOURS ALL E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055. Womansera.com Name: Mobile: E-mail:

g n i z a Am Pan Asian s e p i c e R

Discover the most popular Asian recipes! By Roma Ghosh

CHINESE GREENS WITH BURNT GARLIC AND PINE NUTS INGREDIENTS: 100 gms of Bokchow cut into 2 inch pieces 1 cup shredded cabbage 1 cup leeks cut into one inch

pieces 100 gms of puisaag/Malabar spinach/saan choy 2 tbsps of soya sauce 10-12 garlic clove - whole and peeled 4 tsps of sesame oil 1 tsp of brown sugar 1 tsp of sesame seeds - optional METHOD 100 gms pine nuts for garnishing. These can be

substituted by fried cashews Wash the greens and dry with a kitchen towel. Heat the oil and add the sesame seeds - if using- and allow to splutter.Add the garlic cloves and allow to ‘burn’ slightly till a light brown in colour. Mix in the veggies. Cook on medium heat for 2-3 minutes. Add soya sauce, sugar and toss gently. Put off the heat and garnish with pinenuts. Serve with steamed rice.

Chinese greens with burnt garlic and pine nuts

ASIAN CORN STARTER INGREDIENTS: 2 cups of corn niblets 1 cup of carrots - scrapped and cut into strips 1 cup cucumber - cut into strips without peeling Half yellow bell pepper- cut into strips or small pieces Half green capsicum - cut into strips or small pieces 3 tsps of sesame oil 1 tsp of red chillie paste 1 tsp rice vinegar 1 tsp of soya sauce 10-12 mint leaves Boiled eggs for garnishing â&#x20AC;&#x201C; optional Salt METHOD Heat the oil and add the corn. Add the chilli paste, add 2 pinches of salt, mix well and fry on medium heat for 2 minutes. Mix in the remaining veggies and the vinegar, soya sauce and stir fry for a further 2-3 minutes. Add the Japanese negi (leeks) patties

Asian corn starter

mint leaves and toss gently. Serve as a starter or an accompaniment with any variety of Boa. You can add chicken shreds if you want a non vegetarian dish. You can use this to top rice wafers or put into canapies while serving as a snack.

JAPANESE NEGI (LEEKS) PATTIES INGREDIENTS: For the sauce

1 cup water 2 tsps of rice vinegar 1 tsp of soya sauce 1 tsp of sugar 2 tsps of cornstarch For the patties 1 cup chopped leeks 2 tsps sesame oil 4-5 beaten eggs Salt Oil for pan frying the patties METHOD To prepare the sauce: bring the water to boil and add the vinegar, soya sauce and sugar. Lower the heat. Mix the conrstarch in 2 tbsps of water and add to the water with the soya sauce. Allow it to thicken and remove and keep aside for serving. For the patties: Heat the oil and fry the leek pieces till slightly softened. Take a bowl and place the leek, add the beaten eggs and salt to taste. Mix with a fork. Heat a non stick pan and add 2-3 tsps of oil and use the egg and leek batter to prepare four patties. Spoon each portion onto the non stick pan sprinkled with oil. Cook the patties on low flame on one side and then turn over so that both sides are cooked. Prepare 4 patties in this way and serve with the sauce.

Bao vegetarian

BAO VEGETARIAN INGREDIENTS: 2 and half cups of flour 3 tbsps of milk powder Half tsp of baking powder 2 pinches salt 3 tbsps of oil 2 and a half level tsps of dry yeast 2 tbsps of sugar - to mix with the yeast For the filling: 2 tsps of sesame oil 1 cup of Bokchow chopped into small pieces 1 small onion finely chhopped Half red bell pepper finely chopped - seeds removed 100 gms of mashed tofu Salt to taste 1 tsp of red chillie flakes 1 tbsps of honey For the sauce: 2 tbsps of dark soya sauce 1 tbsp of water 1 tbsp of vinegar 1 tbsp of crushed brown sugar 2-3 chopped green chillies optional To make the dough for the Bao Salt METHOD Heat the oil and add the corn. Add the chilli paste, add 2 pinches

For the Buns: 2 and a half cups of flour 3 tbsps of milk powder Half tsp of baking powder 2 pinches salt 3 tbsps of oil 2 and a half level tsps of dry yeast 2 tbsps of sugar - to mix with the yeast For the tuna 400 gms of boneless tuna fish 1 and a quarter cups of chillie oil

of salt, mix well and fry on medium heat for 2 minutes. Mix in the remaining veggies and the vinegar, soya sauce and stir fry for a further 2-3 minutes. Add the mint leaves and toss gently. Serve as a starter or an accompaniment with any variety of Boa. You can add chicken shreds if you want a non vegetarian dish. You can use this to top rice wafers or put into canapies while serving as a snack.

FRIED CHINESE BUNS WITH TUNA FLAKES IN CHILLIE OIL INGREDIENTS: Japanese negi (leeks) patties

METHOD To make the dough for the Buns Sift together the flour, baking powder, salt and the milk powder. Place in a bowl. Take half cup of luke warm water. To this add the sugar, mix and dissolve and then add the yeast and mix. Leave aside for about 10 minutes so that the yeast is well risen and looks fluffy. Add this yeast mixture to the sifted flour and knead to a dough. Add the oil and knead well to obtain a dough which is soft. Place in a big sized bowl so that there is enough space for the dough to rise to become atleast 3 times its original size. Cover the bowl with a damp cloth and leave for 2 hours to rise. Once the dough is almost 3 times its size, take it out from the bowl and use dry flour to knead it once again.

Shape into a long roll working with both your hands. Divide this long roll into 5-6 pieces. Shape each piece into a round ball. Prepare a steamer, once the water is boiling place 4 inches squares of butter paper on the container which you are going to place in the steamer. Rub a little oil on each of the butter square pieces - this is optional. Now place each of the flour balls on each of the butter paper squares. Cover with the lid and steam the Buns for 12 minutes till risen. Pls make sure that there is enough space for the Bun to rise. If your steamer container is small, steam only 2-3 Buns at a time, so that there is enough space in between each Bun giving each one enough space to rise. For frying the buns: Brush each bun with any white oil and fry in a fryer for 2-3 minutes in a pre heated air fryer. If you dont have a air fryer you could pan fry each bun on a pan, turning once or twice till all sides are crispy and brown. Serve with the Tuna in chillie oil. To prepare the tuna: Steam the tuna fish in a steamer till soft but not over cooked. The steaming should take you only 5-6 minutes. Tear into shreds. Place 3-4 tsps of the chillie oil in a pan and heat on medium heat. Add the tuna shreds and mix in the remaining chillie oil and cook on low heat for a further 2-3 minutes. Serve with the fried Chinese buns for breakfast.

CHIILIE CHICKEN BAO INGREDIENTS: For the stuffing: 200 gms of boneless chicken cut into very thin strips or bite sized

Chiilie chicken Bao

small pieces or minced 3 tsps of sesame oil 1 tsp of soya sauce 1 tsp of chillie sauce 1 tsp of tomato ketchup 1 tsp of red chillie paste For the Bao: 2 and a half cups of flour 3 tbsps of milk powder Half tsp of baking powder 2 pinches salt 3 tbsps of oil 2 and a half level tsps of dry yeast 2 tbsps of sugar - to mix with the yeast For the sauce: 2 tbsps of dark soya sauce 1 tbsp of water 1 tbsp of vinegar 1 tbsp of crushed brown sugar 2-3 chopped green chillies optional To make the dough for the Baos METHOD Sift together the flour, baking powder, salt and the milk powder. Place in a bowl. Take half cup of luke warm water. To this add the sugar, mix and dissolve and then add the yeast and mix. Leave aside for about 10 minutes so that the yeast is well risen and looks fluffy. Add this yeast mixture to the sifted flour and knead to a dough. Add the oil and knead well to obtain a dough which is soft. Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Era

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Place in a big sized bowl so that there is enough space for the dough to rise to become atleast 3 times its original size. Cover the bowl with a damp cloth and leave for 2 hours to rise. Once the dough is almost 3 times its size, take it out from the bowl and use dry flour to knead it once again. Shape into a long roll working with both your hands. Divide this long roll into 5-6 pieces. Shape each piece into a round ball. Stuff each ball with a small portion of the filling and re-shape into a ball once again. Prepare a steamer, once the water is boiling place 4 inches squares of butter paper on the container which you are going to place in the steamer. Rub a little oil on each of the butter square pieces - this is optional. Cover with the lid and steam the BAOs for 12 minutes till risen. Pls make sure that there is enough space for the boas to rise. If your steamer container is small, steam only 2-3 Boas at a time, so that there is enough space in between each Boa giving each one enough space to rise. Serving steaming hot with sauce. To make the chillie chicken stuffing: Heat the oil. Add the chicken and stir fry for 2-3 minutes. Add the sauces and cook on low fire 71

for 2 minutes so that the chicken is cooked. The preparation will be absolutely dry. Remove from fire and use it for stuffing each of the Baos. You can use the same sauce as used for the vegetarian Baos.

SALT AND PEPPER BROCCOLI WITH FRIED CASHEWS INGREDIENTS: 1 broccoli head cut into flowerets 3 tbsps of ghee Salt and pepper as per taste 50-60 gms of cashews METHOD Heat the ghee and fry the cashews till a light golden brown. Remove and keep aside. In the same pan add the broccoli pieces and stir fry adding salt and pepper to taste. Stir fry for 2-3 minutes and serve piping hot garnished with cashews. Serve with stir fried garlic noodles.

Bhutanese kewa/emadatshi pepper and potato chessydeite

Salt and pepper Broccoli with fried cashews

BHUTANESE KEWA/EMADAT SHI - PEPPER AND POTATO CHESSYDEITE INGREDIENTS: 300 gmspicador chillie - big sized green chillies 2 potatoes peeled and cut into strips - not too thin nor too thick around 2 inches long Salt 3 cloves of garlic 1 chopped onion 1 chopped tomato

3 tsps of white oil 2 cups of grated cheese Bhutanese cheese is ideal. We have mixed mozarella and paremesan in equal proportion METHOD Make a slit in the green chillies and then split into two pieces each. The seeds are not removed but if you want the preparation less spicey you could removed the seeds. We have removed the seeds and keep the chillies whole. Heat the oil and fry the onions till translucent. Add the garlic and

the tomatoes and fry for another 2 minutes. Mix in the potato strips and salt to taste. Stir gently and cook the potatoes covering with a lid till only less than half cooked. Now mix in the chillies and stir gently. Add 2 cups of water and bring to a boil. Lower the heat and add the cheese and cook and stir till the cheese melts. Serve piping hot with steamed rice.

LEEK AND MUSHROOM SOUP INGREDIENTS: 2 cups of leek cut into one inch pieces 200 gms button mushrooms keep whole, wash and prick 200 ml coconut milk 3 tsps of butter 3 tsps of cornstarch Salt and pepper to taste METHOD Heat the butter and fry the leek and mushrooms till a light brown in colour. Lower the heat and add 300 ml of water. Add the lemon grass and bring to a boil. Boil over low heat for 3-4 minutes. Add the coconut milk and continue to boil for another 2-3 minutes. Season to Rice paper rolls

Leek and mushroom soup

taste with salt and pepper and Mix in the cornstarch mixed with 2 tbsps of luke warm water. Add to the soup and continue to cook and stir till the soup thickens. Adjust the consistency to your liking. Serve garnished with coriander or some boiled egg or stir fry some leeks and mushrooms cut into small pieces and fried in butter. Garnish the soup with this and serve piping hot with Chinese fried buns or Bao.

RICE PAPER ROLLS INGREDIENTS: 8-10 rice paper sheets For the filling:

A combination of carrots, capsicums, cucumber, radish, yellow bell pepper - All cut into match sticks For the egg paper roll Omelete prepared from one egg into thin sheet Few leaves of mint METHOD Work with one rice paper sheet at one time. Take a wide bowl/platter. Fill it half with water. Dip the rice sheet in the bowl for 10 seconds and then gently lift it and place on a cloth napkin. Now place one match stick each of the carrot, raddish and cucumber - using 3-4 match sticks for one rice paper. Keep the match sticks on one edge of the wet rice paper and very gently using both your hands roll over so tht the veggies are inside the paper roll. Serve as a snack with a sauce prepared with soya sauce, vinegar and chopped green chillies. For the egg paper roll - first place a few mint leaves on the wet rice paper, then the omelet sheet and roll over. This art looks difficult but it is only a matter of trying it 23 times. Serve as a healthy snack.

DEVILED PRAWNS SERVED WITH CORIANDER RICE INGREDIENTS: For the prawns 300 gms of prawns - head removed and de- veined. You can use either jumbo prawns or medium sized, whatever is available 3 tsps of Thai curry paste - a little less if you want it less spicey 1 tsp of crushed brown sugar Half cup of tomato puree 3 tbsps of sesame oil Salt to taste 3 tsps of chopped spring onions green portion only 2 tsps of cornflour mixed in 5 tsps of water For the coriander rice 2 cups of cooked rice - salt added when cooking 4 tbsps of chopped coriander 2 tbsps of ghee 1 tsp of mustard seeds - optional 1 dried red chillie METHOD To make the prawns: In a bowl, mix the Thai red curry paste, tomato puree and the

Deviled prawns served with coriander rice

brown sugar in one cup of water. Add water a little at a time, mixing well so that the paste and tomato puree and sugar mix in together with the water to form a thick paste. Keep aside. Heat the sesame oil and add the prawns and cook for 1 minute adding salt to taste. Lower the heat. Now mix in the paste and stir together and cook over low heat for only 2-3 minutes. At this stage, if you want the preparation to have slight gravy, you could add some luke warm water maybe just 3-4 tbsps, continue to cook for only another few seconds and put off the heat. The spice in the preparation can be reduced by reducing the amount of the curry paste. If you want the gravy thicker, you can mix in the cornflour mixed in luke warm water. But you can avoid the Asian style cauliflower

cornflour mixture if you want. To prepare the rice: heat the ghee add the mustard seeds and red chilllie and allow to splutter. Mix in the rice and stir fry for 2 minutes. Add the coriander and mix well. Serve with the spicey prawn preparation

ASIAN STYLE CAULIFLOWER INGREDIENTS: 1 medium sized cauliflower broken into flowerets and discard the rest of the cauliflower - the base Salt and pepper For the cornflour paste for frying the cauliflower: 3 tbsps of cornstarch 2 tbspsmaida 2 tbsps of rice flour Salt to taste 1 tsp of white oil Oil for deep frying For the orange /tomato/spicey sauce 2 tbsps of oil 3 tbsps tomato puree 1 cup orange juice 2 tbsps of honey 2 tsp of red chillie paste 2 tsps of garlic paste METHOD Sprinkle salt on the cauliflower flowerets and keep aside for 10

minutes. Pat dry with a towel to ensure there is no moisture. Take a bowl and add the corn flour, maida and rice flour and sift together. Add water a little at a time and form a smooth paste adding salt and pepper. The batter will be fairly thick. Heat oil for deep frying the cauliflower. Dip each floweret in the batter and deep fry 4-5 pieces at a time. Turn over so that all sides are cooked. Fry till golden brown and crispy. Fry all the cauliflower in this way. Remove most of the oil leaving only 3 tbsps in the pan. Lower the heat and add tomatopuree, orange juice and all the pastes and honey. Add 1 cup of water and bring to a boil, you can adjust the consistency and the amount as per your requirement. Mix in the fried cauliflower into the sauce and toss gently. Serve hot and crispy as a tasty starter.

NEPALESE KOHLRABI GANTHGOBI PREPARATION INGREDIENTS: 500 gms of ganthgobi 2 tbsps of chopped onions 2 tomatoes chopped into pieces 3 tbsps of oil 2 tsps of ginger garlic paste 1 tsp of green chillie paste 2 chopped onions 2 tbsps of tomato paste METHOD Peel the kohlrabi and cut into one inch cubes or pieces. Steam in a steamer till half tender. Remove, drain all the water and keep aside. Heat oil in a kadhai and fry the onions till translucent. Add the

Nepalese kohlrabi ganthgobi preparation

chopped tomatoes and fry for one minute. Then add the ginger garlic paste and stir fry for 30 seconds. Mix in the steamed gobi and add the remaining spices. Continue to cook on low fire, stirring from time to time adding the tomato paste. Cook and stir on low fire. Cover with a lid and cook till the gobi is tender. The preparation will be dry and can be served with steamed rice or chappati.

EGGPLANT WITH LEEK AND SESAME SEEDS INGREDIENTS: 300 gms eggplant - cut into one inch strips Salt Half tsp of haldi powder 100 gms of leeks cut into strips 3 tbps of chillie garlic oil 1 tsp of garlic paste 2 tsps of red chillie paste

1 tsp of roasted sesame seeds for garnishing Oil for deep frying the brinjal pieces METHOD Sprinkle salt and haldi on the brinjal pieces and keep aside for 10 minutes. Drain out all the water, Heat oil for deep frying and fry the brinjal pieces till golden brown. Fry a few pieces at a time so that these donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t crowd the oil pan. Remove and drain on kitchen paper, Remove most of the oil leaving 2 tbsps in the pan. Add the leeks and fry on medium heat till translucent. Add the remaining ingredients and finally the fried brinjals and toss gently. Garnish with sesame seeds and serve with rice noodles for breakfast or main course.

Eggplant with leek and sesame seeds

simmering on low heat. Thicken the sauce as per your required consistency. Keep aside. Heat the oil and add the galangal and lower the heat. Mix in the veggies and stir fry for 2 minutes. Mix in the cooked noodles and the lime leaves and paste. Stir gently. Cook and stir over medium heat for 3-4 minutes. Garnish with grilled pineapples.

Pad Thai noodles with grilled pineapple and Thai sauce

PAD THAI NOODLES WITH GRILLED PINEAPPLE AND THAI SAUCE INGREDIENTS: 100 gms Pad Thai noodles 5 tbsps of sesame oil 3 tsps of garlic paste 4-5 kafir lime leaves 1 tsp chopped galangal For the veggies 1 zucchini cut into rings 200 gms mushrooms cut into small pieces For the Thai sauce

2 tsps of jaggery 2 tbsp of soya sauce 2 tbps of tamarind paste For the pineapple: 6-7 slices of pineapple 1 tsps of allspice powder Half tsp of red chillie powder optional if you like it spicey METHOD Boil the PAD Thai noodles in salted water till tender but not overcooked. Drain out excess water and then wash under cold water. Keep in the strainer and keep aside. To prepare the sauce: Heat a pan and add the jaggery and stir till it melts. Add one cup of water and then mix in the soya sauce and tamarind sauce and allow Bangladeshi Puisaagmethulichorch orie - Malabar spinach seeds preparation

To grill the pineapples: Sprinkle the dry spice powders and grill over a grill or even a nonstick pan, turning once or twice till both sides of the pineapple look light brown.

BANGLADESHI PUISAAGMETH ULICHORCHORI E - MALABAR SPINACH SEEDS PREPARATION INGREDIENTS: 2 cups of puisaagmethuli - seeds of English spinach 2 potatoes peeled and cut into cubes or medium-sized pieces 1 cup brinjal cut into small pieces 1 cup of broad beans - cut into medium pieces 2 tomatoes - chopped 1 tsp of fresh turmeric paste 1 tsp of green chillie paste 1 tsp of garlic paste 1 tbsp of coriander powder 2 tsps of cumin powder Salt 3 tbsps of mustard oil METHOD Heat the oil and add the potatoes and fry over medium heat, add salt to taste, and fry for 2-3 minutes. Lower the heat and mix in all other vegetables and the tomatoes. Cover with a lid and cook

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on low fire mixing the pastes and spices. Also, mix in the puisaagmethuli. Add the salt and 2 tbsps of water and mix gently. Cover with a lid and allow cooking on low fire till potatoes, other veggies, and the puisaag seeds are cooked and softened. Serve with plain steamed rice.

BANGLADESHI FISH CHOPS INGREDIENTS: 400 gms of boneless fish Salt 1 cup boiled mashed potatoes 1 tsp of fresh turmeric paste 1 tsp of green chillie paste 1 tsp of red chillie paste 1 tsp of sugar 1 tsp of mustard paste 3 tbsps of mustard oil 3 cups of bread crumbs Oil for deep frying Mustard paste - kashondi for serving

Bangladeshi fish chops

METHOD Steam the fish till soft. Cool and place in a bowl. Mash the fish and add the mashed potatoes and all the pastes and the sugar. Mix well. Now heat the oil and fry the fish potato mixture and fry on low heat, stirring from time to time. Cook for 3-4 minutes till a fine aroma rises. Put off the heat and cool completely. Remove to a mixing bowl and divide the mixture into 7-8 portions or according to the size you want your chops. Shape into circles, /elongated shapes and roll each chop in bread crumbs and keep aside. Coat all the chops in bread crumbs. You can first dip the chops in beaten eggs Malaysian fish curry Kari Iran Pikat

And then roll in crumbs. But that is purely optional. Heat oil and fry the chops a few at a time. Turnover and fry both sides. Fry till golden brown and crispy. Serve with kashondi mustard sauce and kachumber.

MALAYSIAN FISH CURRY KARI IRAN PIKAT INGREDIENTS: For the spice powder: 1 tsp of cumin seeds Quarter tsp of fenugreek seeds 2 dried red chillies 2 cardamoms 2 cloves 1 tsp of fennel seeds 1 tbsp of coriander seeds For the fish curry 6-8 pieces of fish Salt 1 tsp of turmeric powder 2 chopped onions 100 ml of coconut milk 1 cup of oil - mustard or refined 2 tbsps of tamarind paste 2 punches sugar or 1 tsp of jaggery METHOD Dry roast all the spices for the

powder and grind into a dry paste. Keep aside. Sprinkle salt and turmeric on the fish pieces and keep aside. Heat the oil and fry the onions till translucent. Mix in the ginger garlic paste. And the spices and fry further 2-3 minutes on low fire. Add the tomatoes, jaggery, and half cup water and continue to stir and cook. Now mix in 3 cups of water. Bring to a simmer, add the fish pieces, and cover with a lid and cook on low fire and cook till fish pieces are tender but not overcooked. It will take only 3-4 minutes. Mix in the coconut milk and the tamarind paste and stir gently. Serve with steamed rice. The variation you may fry the fish pieces or cook them raw. This is your choice.

3 tbsps of flour 2 pinches salt 3 tbsps of sugar powder or gur Ghee for frying the pathishapta For the filling: 2 cups of freshly grated coconut 1 cup of ghee 1 cup of khoya kheer 3 tbsps of jaggery - gur 1 tsp of cardamom powder

PATHISHAPTA INGREDIENTS: For the batter 1 cup of rice flour

Spicey fried rice in chillie garlic oil Pathishapta

METHOD First, prepare the filling by heating the ghee and frying the coconut over low heat till golden brown colour. Stir all the time. Now mix in the khoya kheer and the elaichi powder and continue to stir and cook on very low fire. Add the jaggery and continue to cook on low fire. Cook till the preparation is almost dry and a fine aroma rises. Your filling is ready. To prepare the batter: Sift the rice flour, maida, salt and place in a mixing bowl. Add the jaggery or the sugar and blend, adding water to form a smooth dough of running consistency. You can also use a combination of milk and water to make the paste. Blend well and mix. Heat a non-stick pan and use a small portion of the batter to make a pancake or a dosa. Place a small portion of the coconut filling and cover from both ends as you would do for a pancake. This is a popular Bangladesh misthi prepared during the winter months, especially during Sankantri.

SPICEY FRIED RICE IN CHILLIE GARLIC OIL INGREDIENTS: 2 cups cooked rice Salt 4 tbsps of sesame oil 3 tbsps of ready to use chillie garlic oil 1 cup fresh peas Half cup corn niblets Roasted peanuts for garnishing METHOD Heat the oil and fry the peas and corn niblets on medium heat for 2-3 minutes. Mix in the rise and the chillie garlic oil. Toss gently and serve hot. Garnish with peanuts if you like. Just adds to the taste. Serve hot.

Sri Lankan Chicken Curry - Kukul Mas Curry

SRI LANKAN CHICKEN CURRY - KUKUL MAS CURRY INGREDIENTS: Sri Lankan Spice Powder 1 tsp of cumin seeds 1 tbsp of coriander seeds 1 tsp of peppercorns 1 tsp of mustard seeds 3 cloves 4-5 cardamom 1 tsp fennel seeds - saunf 1-inch piece of cinnamon stick 2 dried red chillies

For the chicken curry 1 kg of chicken pieces - with or without bones - medium pieces 2 chopped onions Salt 1 tsp of haldi powder 2 sprigs of curry leaves 200 ml of coconut milk 2 tsps of ginger paste 2 tsps of garlic paste 1 cup of refined oil or mustard oil METHOD To prepare the spice powder Dry roast all the spices in a pan till; a fine aroma rises. This should take only 2-3 minutes on low fire. Cool to room temperature and then Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Era

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dry grind to a powder. Keep aside Heat the oil in a pressure cooker and fry the onions till translucent. Mix in the chicken pieces and salt to taste and fry over medium heat till the chicken pieces are a light golden brown. Mix in the pastes and the curry powder and continue to stir on low fire, mixing from time to time till the chicken looks brown and a fine aroma rises. Add 2 cups of water and pressure cook the chicken till tender. Cool and open the lid and then mix in the coconut milk. Bring to a simmer and put off the heat. Serve piping hot with paratha or masala rice or steamed rice. 79

To serve: Spread a bit of spiced mayonnaise, place a small portion of the peanut dust and place one caramelized mushroom on this. Serve as a party starter.

SINGAPORE BEETROOT SOUP Caramelized mushroom with peanut and kafir dust and spices mayonnaise

CARAMELIZED MUSHROOM WITH PEANUT AND KAFIR DUST AND SPICES MAYONNAISE INGREDIENTS: For the mushrooms 200 gms of button mushrooms 2 tbsps of soya sauce 2 tsps of sesame oil 2 tsps of fresh basil To caramelize the mushrooms 2 tbsps of brown sugar For the peanut and kafir dust 3 tbsps of roasted peanuts 2 lime leaves 2 dried red chillies For the spicey mayonnaise 1 cup mayonnaise 1-2 tsps of red chillie paste - as per your taste Half tsp of lemon juice METHOD To prepare the mushrooms: Prick the mushrooms and add the remaining ingredients. Mix and

allow the mushrooms to remain in this marinade for 2 hours, Then place in a nonstick pan adding the brown sugar and cook till the sugar melts and the mushrooms are caramelized. This should be done on low heat. For the peanut dust - in a mortar and pestle crush together the peanuts, kafir lime leaves, and the red chillie to a coarse powder Mis the spice paste and lemon juice to the mayonnaise to obtain a spicey mayonnaise.

INGREDIENTS: 200 gms of beetroot - peeled and cut into quarters and boiled till tender 1 large onion - finely chopped 2 cloves garlic 2 lime leaves Salt Half inch piece galangal - cut into small pieces 2 tbsps of sesame oil or butter 2 tsps of lemon juice 2 tsps of fish sauce - you can avoid this 1 cup coconut milk METHOD Heat the butter and fry the

Singapore beetroot soup

onions till translucent. Add the garlic, galangal, and lime leaves and stir for a minute. Add 3 cups of water and bring to a simmer and then add the cooked beetroot pieces. Cook on low fire and allow the beetroot to boil in this water. Put off the heat and remove the lime leaves and then with a hand blender blend the soup. Add fish sauce, if you are using and the coconut milk, Mix well and re-heat and then serve garnished with lime leaves, or coriander, or even a boiled egg. This soup has a tinge of sweetness, sourness. KhonamKrok

KHONAMKROK INGREDIENTS: There are many varieties of Thai street food. We have combined a few to get a tasty and easy version

2 beaten eggs 2 tbsps of flour Salt Half cup very finely chopped veggies - carrots, Bokchoy, spinach, capsicum - a combination of all, or a few 100 ml of coconut milk - or more depending on how much you need to make the dough

Pepper powder to taste Sift together the maida and the baking soda. Place in a bowl. Now slowly add the eggs and keep stirring and mixing with a fork to make a batter. Also, mix in the coconut milk to obtain a smooth flowing batter. Add the veggies and mix well. Grease the mini appam tray. Heat the appam mini mold tray. Pour small portions into the appam mini molds. Lower the heat. Cover with a lid and allow the batter to cook slowly till the contents in each mold have risen. Remove gently and serve as a starter.

CURRIED MOMOS INGREDIENTS: 10-12 vegetarian steamed momos For the sauce: 1 cup tomato puree 2 tbsps of tomato sauce 1 tbsp of red chillie paste 1 tbsp of garlic sauce 2 tbsps of chillie oil 1 tbsp of brown sugar Half tsp of soya sauce Half tsp of vinegar METHOD

Curried momos

Salt to taste1 chopped onion optional if you are making it in Indian style. The simple momo can be given a lift in taste and looks. Either you mix all the sauces and stir fry the momos to give it a Thai or Chinese taste. Or you fry the onions and use only the chillie paste and stir fry the momos in an Indian style. To prepare the Thai or Chinese style you will need to mix all the sauces in a bowl. Heat a pan and add the sauce and 3 tbsps of water and warm the sauce. Add the momos and mix gently so that the momos are well coated with the spicy, hot tangy sauce. Serve as a We snack.

Teenache

QA &

AM REALLY VERY CONFUSED AND UNHAPPY . I AM MY PARENTS’

only child and the apple of their eyes. They have given me all that a girl could wish for, and I love them very dearly. The problem which confronts me is this: my father is a very successful businessman, the owner of three flourishing electronic goods shops. All through the years, he has trained me in all the ins and outs of the trade, confident I would carry on his legacy and take care of his nearly thousand strong loyal employees. I too want to fulfil his desire, but nowadays, a discontentment has settled on me. Like so many of my friends, I want to go abroad to study Law. If I reveal my dream to my father, I am sure it will break his heart. That I do not want to do, for anything in the world. But then, what do I do -- sacrifice my dream and enter his business empire? Will I be happy? This dilemma is driving me crazy. I am a 17-year-old in a Business Management course in college. Please advise. It is really your decision and you should take it very very carefully without emotions and fanciful ideals interfering with your thinking. If it has only recently that you are feeling this desire to go abroad, perhaps this is because you are envying your friends and want to do what they are doing. Think carefully and honestly. If you are convinced that you want to study Law, it would then be good to talk about it with your parents. Perhaps you could do Law and later join the family ,business later. Your qualification could be a big asset to the company. For the time being, play cool and do not do anything. Can you discuss this privately with your mother alone? If your feelings remain unchanged it is better to reveal them to your father instead of bottling them up. He could be very disappointed but if he loves you , he will want your happiness, won’t he? Do not do anything in a hurry though; wait for some time, talk it over with a discreet, sage older friend or relative like an aunt or grandparent. ●

12, BELONG TO A MIDDLE -CLASS FAMILY AND have two older brothers. My parents are very keen to give us children a good education. To this end, I have to admit , my parents treat me just like the boys and are preparing to send me to the IIT. But on one count, my mother’s behaviour bugs me. She insists I help her in the kitchen during my free time and learn the rudiments of cooking-- while she does not ask my brothers. Why this differentiation? All my demands to make them work in 82

STUDY IN CLASS

the kitchen is falling on deaf ears. According to her, a girl should know how to prepare a meal, however well educated she may be! Please tell me how to convince her that this gender typing is wrong. It must be quite irritating to be asked to help in the kitchen when your brothers are not, but this is not a big issue to be upset about. Why not you yourself, ask your brothers to help in chopping and grinding along with you?Surely, one or both of them may enjoy playing chef. After all, you can assure them, the most celebrated chefs in the world are men! And, if you wish to be a woman of substance, you should be willing to don many caps…wife, mother,corporate head, social worker, etc, etc, with aplomp. Often, very successful career women can whip up a gourmet dinner with ease.For them, cooking is a hobby and a stress buster .It is just a matter of perspective that you should change. Do not consider cooking a meal is a menial task…it is very important. All this being said, humour your mother’s whim, and take this opportunity to learn kitchen tips from her. If this does not convince you to accept your situation, tell her gently that you do not want to cook, when your brothers are exempted from it ,but do not hurt her feelings. She means well, surely.

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am 17 years old and my boyfriend is 20. We love each other dearly and want to marry, but we cannot because we are legally under-aged. I wouldn’t mind waiting for a few years but he wants to have sex, and this I refuse to have, before being married. Recently,he came up with an audacious plan. If we got secretly married in a temple , we could have sex, as we could consider ourselves wedded. And later, after at an appropriate time, we could get married again openly. This could be after a couple of years when we are both adults. I am not in favour of this idea , just so that we can become intimate, but he is insistant. Please advise if this is a right thing to do. This is definitely a foolish option. Getting married in a temple does not lend legality to the couple if they are minors. Also, you need an officiating priest, witnesses and so forth. Are you willing to have all this? Clearly, this boy wants sex and is mooting this temple idea just to lull you into agreeing. What guarantee do you have that he will stick to his promises to marry you after some time. Once he has had his fill of your favours, he may move on to other girl friends. Where will that leave you? You will be unable to bring him to book either because this is a secret pact with no evidence or proof. He seems to be a selfish, selfcentred person, who is taking you for a dangerous ride. Dont be afraid that he will ditch you if you do not concur with his plan. You are much better off without him.

Woman’s Era ● February 2021

Social Distancing An extraordinary time for connection and grace. By Shalini Bhardwaj

e, humans are innately social creatures and just like hunger and thirst remaining socially connected is our biological need. Social interactions not only enhance our sense of self but are also important for our overall health and wellbeing. Today, as the imperative need for social distancing has put a pause on normal socialising activities and physical distancing continues to be an important way to protect ourselves and those around ushow do we create the condition for social interaction?

A psychiatrist Dr Carolyn Boulos says “The importance of staying safe has to be balanced with the very real health risks that can be caused by loneliness. During this time, it is imperative that we do not disconnect with one another. In fact, it is critical now than ever to virtually come together. “ So, here is how we can nurture relationships gracefullyand maintain connectionsin safe waysduring this extraordinary time-

Cherish your connections using technology One of the best uses of technology is that it brings people closer irrespective of physical distance between them.By using latest technology we can actually have some cherishable experiences. Some activities, when done together help in bonding and release endorphins, the brain chemicals that contribute to happiness like making music and playing games or watching movies. In a time when physical proximity is not allowed, we can still undertake many of these activities together through various online means. Have a game night with friends using skype, face timeor google hangouts and if you are a movie fan, sizzle some popcorn and host a virtual watch party. Even elements of sports, like competition and exercise can be done collectively but separately using video chat applications. In recent days, the move to online working has brought a new trend of together alone. By being online together at the same time, two colleagues or friends can make their work more enjoyable and less tedious. In an unprecedented time like this, together alone experiences have been found beneficial to human experience. Try to organise group activities like knitting or cooking over video chat or join online classes to learn virtual yoga or a new language. Social media, when used wisely, is best for remaining connected to our near and dear ones.Consider

scheduling regular dates and times with family and friends for video calls. It is said that every cloud has a silver lining and in thi sexceptional time of online schooling and work from home,focus on strengthening relationships with those around you.Play hide and seek or treasure hunt with your toddler and with a cup of evening teahave a rejuvenating talk with your neighbour from a safe distance over your fence or balcony. Undeniably, technology can never fully replace the impact of human

Charles Dudley warner once said, “It is one of the beautiful

THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE THAT SOME COMMUNITIES AROUND YOU ARE LOOKING FOR HELP LIKE FOOD BANKS OR HOMELESS SHELTERS.GO THROUGH YOUR HOUSEHOLD GOODS AND SEE IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING THAT CAN BE DONATED TO PEOPLE IN NEED.

compensations of this life that no one can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.” The current pandemic is leaving millions of people sick and there are families who are living with the devastating loss of a loved one. People in the most vulnerable situations are hit the hardest by the crisis. Many are unemployed and struggling to make their ends meet. Older adults, especiallythose with low income have been disproportionately victims of Covid19. There is a good chance that some communities around you are looking for help like food banks or homeless shelters.Go through your

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February 2021

interaction in person and meeting in small groups with appropriate physical distancing and wearing a mask can be very different from connecting digitally. So why not? Sometimes use exposure but ensure that it is in small and safe ways. Also when you plan to meet others, try to be respectful to everyone’s comfort level.

We can make a life by what we give

household goods and see if you have anything that can be donated to people in need. Clean your closets and see if you have any clothes you can give away.Get some items ready and donate to a local charity. If you have extra money, you might look for national charity too. Do some homework so you’re clear in what ways your money will be used. Be kind, supportive and generous to others in whatever ways you can be. It increases your own sense of purpose andwellbeing.

Empathy for others can go a long way In this unprecedented time when not holding hands and not visiting someone is actually a sign of care, being empathetic and remaining open to human connection is now more important than ever. There are many things you can do to help make a difference in your community that toofrom the safety of your home. Make a small gesture to someone in need- maybe it meanssending your neighbour an encouraging note or reading to a

child online. Call your friends and family regularly to check on them. The current crisis gives us an opportunity to build and nurture new connections, which can be maintained when life returns to normal. There may be an elderly couple in your area that is more vulnerable to infection than you are andcan’t make a trip to a grocery store. Offer to pick up a few things for them the next time you shop for your own groceries. Doing small things for others, especially those who are affected by the pandemic doesn’t have to take much of your time or effort and surprisingly, it

COMPLIMENT YOUR FRIENDS, SEND A KIND NOTE TO SOMEONE YOU APPRECIATE, OR SHARE SOME FEELGOOD POSITIVE NEWS. THIS WILL TAKE A FEW MOMENTS OF YOURS BUT COULD BRIGHTEN SOMEONE ELSE’S WHOLE DAY.

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helps distract you from your own worries. These days there is a lot of bad news circulating over social media and news channels like economic downturn, blame game politics and expanding statistics about confirmed cases? Spread positivity by committing yourself to share a little kindness and good news. Compliment your friends, send a kind note to someone you appreciate, or share some feel-good positive news. This will take a few moments of yours but could brighten someone else’s whole day. Latest research has linked social isolation to higher risk of a variety of physical and mental health problems and these days’ new realities like temporary unemployment, social isolation and uncertainty about future along with the threat of scary virus is affecting the lives of many in a significant manner. You might find your friend or someone in your family needs an emotional support. Let them know you are available. Video call, chat or message people just to say that you are thinking of them. Just sparing your few minutes to talk to people will make them feel good and less lonely. It is a proven fact that empathetic listening works as a therapy and can offer a muchneeded emotional support. Today, as we all are going through challenging times, let us take it as an opportunity to build and strengthen our relations. In the present scenario, It is important to find ground where we can engage in meaningful social connections while staying safe and following public health guidelines so that when life returns to normal we don’t find ourselves wandered off too apart from each other. As a very basic level, as we limit ourselves in our safeperipheries, a simple hello and smile goes a long way.So take small initiatives and remain connected so that social distancing doesn’t become emotional We distancing.

Beauty Queries

QA &

AM A 17-YEAR-OLD GIRL WITH AN EMBARRASSING PROBLEM. I have stick-out ears! Friends tease me, calling me Jughead and other such funny names--- all in good fun, of course, but this really hurts me a lot. Please tell me what can I do about this? Most often, this is a hereditary feature…maybe your siblings or parents also have such ears? It is not an uncommon problem either and it does not bother many owners much. Considering, however, that you are distressed about it, you can consult a cosmetic surgeon for solutions. A simple procedure called otoplasty or pinna plasty pulls the ear back to lie flat against the head. Perhaps, this could bring you relief. If you do not want to consider surgery, you could adopt a hair style which will cover your ears; loop your hair over them and pin back . Or, you could comb your hair down over the ears to hide them completely. A remedy could also be to use super glue to gum your ear back l…but this will only bring respite for a short while and also removing the glue can be a slightly painful business. Sticking out ears can be pressed back considerably if you wear a band over them as constantly as possible too.

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I AM FAIR SKINNED,MY ELBOWS AND KNEES ARE dark. It embarrasses me although others don’t seem to notice my this problem. Is there a method to lighten these trouble spots? I am a 17-year-old girl studying in class 12. The frequent cause of darkened elbows and knees is the buildup of grime, dirt and dead skin cells, the result of indifferent attention given to them at bathtime. Many of us fail to notice that we hardly scrub our elbows, knees and the nape of our neck when washing, resulting in this situation. But don’t despair. There are several simple antidotes for your problem. Mix milk cream and turmeric powder in a saucer. Rub this on your elbows and knees a good hour before your bath, Then wash off with warm water. A paste of milk and baking soda is another effective whitener, as are 1 tsp of yoghurt and 1 tsp of vinegar, turmeric and besan and yoghurt and vinegar. Rub any of these pastes on the darkened skin in firm circular movements to slough off the dead skin cells. Wash off.You will surely see results within a fortnight. If you do not kitchenshelf remedies, you can get a good whitening cream of a reputed cosmetic firm. But do not neglect exfoliating the skin too regularly. LTHOUGH

HAVE A FAIR, SMOOTH COMPLEXION BUT RECENTLY small greyish lump-like eruptions have appeared on my left cheek and right temple. Is this acne? I am 25 years old and too old to get this, isn’t it? Please advise. It is difficult to assess your condition without examination, but it does seem you are afflicted with warts, and not acne. This is caused by any one of several types of the human papilloma virus.It is contagious and infected by direct contact. Usually, the warts shrink and drop off without any treatment, in due course of time.These are not cancerous , just unsightly. Wart infection is contracted through nicks in the skin, eczema,hang nails,etc.Persons with compromised immune systems like children and the elderly,and those with HIV, skin infections,etc, are more prone to it. Over the counter salicylic acid and other such peeling gels, liquid and pads could work but do not apply this on delicate facial skin face without the doctor’s permission. In a nutshell, warts are harmless normally, but if there is pain or discharge, you need treatment. Now, do go to a skin specialist to get a professional diagnosis of your condition.

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35 Y E A R S O L D B U T A L R E A D Y H A V E L I N E s on my forehead. Please tell me how to get rid of them? Except for this, I am a good-looking woman. Sometimes these horizontal forehead lines develop if the person has a mannerism of wrinkling or lifting the forehead. Maybe, you do this? Try doing facial yoga to help your problem. For this, sit in a comfortable position, relax your face muscles gently. Bring down your brows as low down as possible, pulling them together simultaneously. Relax. Then, lift your brows as high as you can, and as far apart as possible. Relax. Do this five times several times a day. This will help to smoothen out the lines by stretching the forehead skin. Massage a little warmed coconut, almond or olive oil into your forehead once daily and wash off with warm water. Hydrate your skin by drinking more liquids. Spritz your face with mineral water frequently if you have dry skin, and do not neglect applying moisturiser religiously. Cosmetic surgery can also offer you options where your forehead skin is stretched and pinned back under hair. Botox injections also smoothen out lines and wrinkles but the effect is not permanent and the procedure has to be repeated after some time. AM ONLY

Readers are invited to send their beauty problems and questions regarding face, complexion, hair, skin, eyes, etc to this column. Address your letters, written legibly or typed on white paper, to: WOMAN’S ERA E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055.

Woman’s Era ● February 2021

Shotrotry S

The bus drive S h e d r e s s e d u p f o r i t . By Rana Preet Gill

The tired, sweaty mass of tangled bodies that infested the space between the seats, looked like a giant mass that could swirl anyone close to its surroundings seemed to taper at the end for some reason.

he sat in the bus wondering if he would take notice that she had exchanged her regular seat for the spot that would make her more visible to him. She knew he always hung around the entrance, on the steps to be specific, throughout his short journey from the ISBT to the Chowpatty. And she always sat on the last seat of the bus just to make it easier for her to get down. Though the ride got a little bumpy she did not seem to mind. The tired, sweaty mass of tangled bodies that infested the space between the seats, looked like a giant mass that could swirl anyone close to its surroundings seemed to taper at the end for some reason. But once he saw her as she was getting down and he was standing on the front steps, being prodded by the conductor to move ahead, bus rides had never been the same.

She had seen him lifting his head from far away only to catch a glimpse of her. The first time it happened, her mind did not register anything. Though she avoided locking her gaze with any passenger but some days when the eye contact happened, she was quick to avert her eyes and maintain the perfunctory seriousness of her expressions. After all, she was not the flimsy kind. She did not play this brief game of unsaid promises and unrequited love that often ping ponged like an unwanted ball in her domain but she did not give it enough inertia and the ball would often lose its steam if it was thrown in her direction. But with him it was different. He did not He moved his arm brushing against her bare arm now.â&#x20AC;?

look like the man who would just look at her only to let her go after a brief spell of attraction. She had found him a little strange, a little different but very handsome and irresistible. She had always got down at the stop which was the second last stop before the bus ended its drive at Chowpatty and started back to ISBT. And all those who did not did not get down at her stop were eventually stalled for the last stop.

ince he never got down at her stop, which was the halt for the officegoers, she had gathered that he was not an office guy like her and the others who peopled this bus. She had lamely called this particular bus as the office bus because it was the only one that started at 6 am from ISBT and since most of the offices were located in the new complex that has emerged before the scenic view of Chowpatty and started their working at 7 am, this bus was a boon for office-goers. She had found the one-hour ride painful and boring. No one from her office commuted in this bus. She was not comfortable enough to get friendly with people from other offices, men who often leered at her, their gaze penetrating the thin fabric of her blouse tracing the straps of her brassiere and lingering on the folds of her sari stopping there for a long

time as if trying to find a way through it. But his gaze was unlike them. His gaze rested on her face. His eyes never left hers and there was a certain comfort she drew from his stare that did not seem to undress or malign her. She wondered for days what he must be doing for a living. Certainly not the office type because he did not get down at the spot designated for office-goers of that area. There were no work places in a place like Chowpatty as far as she knew. There werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t any shops as well, not big ones, just the roadside melee of stalls that was thronged by non-descript men and women in the evenings. People like her who worked in offices always went back home and never ever loitered in and around that side of the beach which served nothing but grub in the garb of infectious and contaminated food and water.

ut his work was the least of her concerns. That day, she decided to make things easier for him. She moved towards the front seats with an enthusiasm and found herself the comfortable spot from where her sighting would be easier for him. He would not have to be contented with just a faraway gaze, but a lot more than that. He would be able to look at her in a more proper way from his designated place. And suddenly, her fingers reached her pitied cheeks and she wondered if he would be able to spot the little disfigurement in her face more prominently and flinch.

The little spots on her face that he might not have spotted from a distance would stand out now. She wondered if he would be repelled by her not-so-clear skin that was fair but not flawless. She wondered if this little truth would change anything between them. She berated herself for not being able to disguise her spots with the foundation that had been lying in her drawer for a long time. It was given to her by her mother a few months back when a prospective suitor had come with his family to view her. Though she was able to hide the hideous spots with the application of the foundation, it was not enough for him. The wanted dowry exceeded their means and the alliance had died down before it materialised into reality. And since then she had thrown the bottle of foundation in deep, unfathomable corners of her drawer. The cheap make-up had given her a flare-up of acne and the very next day when she spotted the red pigmentation with the appearance of nasty little acne she had a vicious row with her mother. It took a week for that flare-up to die down but not before giving her some fresh spots that made her skin a little more imperfect. But today was the day when she wanted to look perfect. The gaze of a stranger had made her feel wanted and she wanted to present her most appealing and alluring picture today. She had taken care to wear her most presentable sari, the one she has

reserved for choicest occasions or important presentations in her office. Her mother had cocked her head slightly when she had emerged from bathroom smelling nice and good. She had sniffed her with a mocking glare, challenging her with her stare as she was about to leave the house. This was her way of confronting her ever since she was young and malleable and this had always worked but not today. Now when she had reached a ripe and mature age of 30, she was anything but not the one to be

But today was the day when she wanted to look perfect. The gaze of a stranger had made her feel wanted and she wanted to present her most appealing and alluring picture today. trampled upon neither by her family nor by anyone and yet here she was ready to give away everything to that one look of a stranger. As she sat in the bus waiting to be filled by the usual chatter of the officegoers, she noticed that everyone was taking second looks at her. They know that she preferred the last seat despite the discomfort of the bounce that inevitably came with the presence of huge tires of the bus propelling it to move further. There was some whispering and murmuring amongst them at this change of seats which died down as soon as the bus driver turned on the ignition. She looked at

Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Era â&#x2014;? February 2021

the front gate with a yearning only to find him missing today. Even the conductor who was standing at his spot looking at her with a bewilderment finally smiled, giving her a nod as she looked away from him trying to suppress her embarrassment at being noticed in such a blatant manner. Her cheeks flushed with color as she saw him running along the slow-moving bus and finally making it to the stairs with one powerful lunge dislodging the conductor from his usual spot. The conductor cursed him as he moved towards the passengers and began with his ritual of ticketing. She found him looking intently at the back of the bus as she wondered as if he had missed seeing her. She touched her spots again a little self-consciously this time and looked at him with an audacity trying to catch his attention. She looked around trying to find the presence of a beautiful maiden at the back of the bus, someone who might have dethroned her from the pedestal but there was no one. She looked around to spot that one female presence to which he was directing his attention at but there was none. And as she was done surveying the people around her, she was back to eyeing him when she discovered a suppressed smile. He was looking at her with an adoration that was hard to miss. She flinched as she found it hard to maintain her stiff demeanour. She wanted to give him a hint that she liked him but she 89

was unable to do so but then she knew that he had found out. But despite all the things that were not said yet understood she wanted him to gain the impression that she was one respectable woman who will not give her any undue attention or power over him. She sat stoically, looking at him intermittently as she found him staring at her with unblinking eyes. When the lady passenger who was sitting next to her got down, he quickly took this opportunity as a signal and occupied the seat next to her with an affected nonchalance. As if this was the most natural thing in the world to do, occupy an empty seat. Her heart

palpitated as she struggled to control her excitement. The conductor gave her a lascivious smile and nudged the man while passing next to them. His thighs rubbed against the folds of her sari but she did not find that unusual. It happened all the time when two people are sitting together on a seat that is not big enough. She was used to such physical proximities that did not mean anything at all. He placed his hand next to hers and she panicked. She did not make any move. He moved his arm brushing against her bare arm now. She cursed herself for not putting a full sleeved blouse. She was getting uncomfortable at his touch now. All the anticipation

Wedding gowns with a Purpose The first time I put on the wedding gown, I could feel the weight of the dress and it kind of felt like the weight of a wedding vows. Getting married was becoming very real! All the gorgeous diva’s that I use to look up to in beautiful satire always looked elegant in their wedding gown and had the most fairytalelike love stories. Even though I know we don’t live in a fairytale, I felt like I now had a special love 90

lost, she begin to sweat profusely, getting disoriented at the chain of events. She had not expected that a man who seemed to never look beyond her face would touch such a nether of human behaviour. To be touched as if she was nothing more than a meat piece was more vicious than being leered at.

hen she did not make a move to get her bare arm moving which was now in contact with him, he got emboldened and discreetly placed his other hand touching the contours of her breast through the folds of her sari. She could feel him searching

story to call mine and I can tell the same to the world. I was walking into the bridal studio for the first time and everyone was complete stars struck. I tried on my first wedding gown. When the curtains were pulled, I was looking dreamy, ivory lace wedding gown. My face got radiant with delight and excitement and my eyes filled with love. My husband lost for words at how beautiful I was looking on my wedding day. Also, kind of surprised at how grand the wedding gown is. You might even wonder if that’s necessary for a dress that you’re only going to wear for a few hours. It almost seems too much, until you understand that at that moment, I was imagining walking down the aisle and exchanging the vows. The wedding gown selection means that the day when you finally give your partner a promise is drawing nearer and I was never felt happier than the day of Woman’s Era

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impatiently as his fingers poked her soft flesh. His leg jutted firmly against hers, he was trying to corner her into some kind of subjugation. A few passengers who were standing on the front steps were eyeing her precarious situation with lot of interest. As he tried to grab her breast in his hand she finally found the courage as she pushed him and slapped him tight on his cheek. A sudden silence engulfed the bus as it came to a halt at her stop and she made her move past him in an unhurried manner taking along her dignity and honour. A few hands clapped and a few murmurs of approval came her way but was gone. We

selection of my wedding dress. In addition to feeling some strong emotions, your wedding day may feel surreal and leave you feeling like you are in a different reality. Out of nowhere, we are encircled by companions, family, associates, and colleagues as we are decked out in an excellent wedding outfit or tuxedo. We will be the center of attention, often being pulled in an assortment of headings to chat with every one of our visitors and take photographs while taking care of the subtleties of the wedding. There is a decent possibility that we won't get an opportunity to rest or even get done with eating at your gathering. For the duration of the day, we will likely be astonished at all the help and love got from our loved ones. Wedding days will be passionate and it bodes well we are settling on a groundbreaking choice before all the individuals we love the most. – Rama

Kitchen queries

QA &

AISINS ARE ONE OF THE TASTIEST AND HEALTHIEST DRY

fruits and also the most popular among all age groups. But we have just heard that soaked raisins should be a part of our daily diet. Please elaborate. Raisins are filled with various benefits, but this is true that not all of us are aware of is that soaking them in water enhances their efficacy. They are a storehouse of essential nutrients such as iron, potassium, calcium, magnesium and fibre. these benefits are enhanced when soaked in water overnight. Soaked raisins act as a natural laxative, help prevent the onset of osteoporosis, boosts energy and our immune system. It is also rich in copper, which promotes the absorption of iron.

HOW DO YOU DESCRIBE AN EGG - IS IT A SNACK? IS IT A MEAL? OR IS IT MERELY AN INGREDIENT IN GREATER DISHES? The glorious thing about an egg is that the answer to the above questions is an emphatic YES. The egg is a staple of most non-vegetarian cuisines. It is so ubiquitous that often you don’t even realise that you are eating it- in cakes, in ice cream and naans. The omelette is one of the most popular egg dishes in the world. There are a number of ways to cook eggs- boiled, pickled scrambled, fried and poached.

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HOW

DO YOU PROVE

CRANBERRIES: SUPERFOOD

THAT ACTS AS A

SHIELD?

Cranberries grow under very special conditions and are not produced in India. It is a versatile superfood that can be consumed in various forms- raw, dried, frozen etc. They’re a good source of nutrients and vitamins and help in strengthening immunity, which is very important in this coronavirus outbreak. Cranberries are nearly 90% water. They are fat-free, cholesterol-free, low on sodium and a good source of dietary fiber. They also have flavonoids and other natural compounds that promote good health. ●

OW ESSENTIAL IS DOING EXERCISES IN OUR DAILY

routine to stay hale and hearty. How does pre and post workout meals affect the result of our workout. Exercise is undoubtedly crucial to stay fit for us but what meals are consumed before and after working out are equally important. A slice of peanut butter toast with bananas or yogurt with nuts and fruits is a good idea to have as a pre workout meal. “After the workout, we need to consume a good amount of protein so as to repair any wear and tear, and to build muscle strength”. Remember workout alone won’t give good results.

IS THERE A WAY TO MAKE A DESSERT WITHOUT REFINED SUGAR AND NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE? The best substitute for sugar when it comes to desserts is dates. Soak the dates in hot water and make a puree. It’s healthy and can also be stored in the refrigerator for frequent use. Palm jaggery can also be used. But you cannot simply swap refined sugar, with natural sugar substitutes without the rich flavour they each bring. So the ideal substitute really just depends on the dish you are making.

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WHICH DISH CAN BE SAID TO BE A TRUE SUBSTITUTE FOR OMELETTE FOR THE VEGETARIANS? Moonglet is touted as a vegetarian alternate for omelette and is often referred to as vegetarian omelette or moong dal omelette. It has all the goodness of the pulse and is a great breakfast and a snacking option. A moonglet with lots of vegetables, together with cheese etc is both healthy and tasty.

IS IT JUSTIFIED TO CALL JAGGERY OR GUR A SUPERFOOD OF THE WINTER SEASON? In our country where food and seasons are intertwined, it is a blessing to be able to relish Nature's abundance. Jaggery is a good source of magnesium which helps stimulate the release of 'feel good ' hormones. It is an antidote for the harm caused by pollution, as it helps cleanse respiratory tracts. It is also loaded with antioxidants and helps boost immunity. There are many varieties of gur, depending on which plant they are extracted from. Apart from cane sugar, jaggery is made from palm juice, called nolen gur, and from the sap of coconut. Palm juice jaggery is more dense in texture than cane ones. So it wouldn't be wrong to call jaggery a superfood and the perfect winter companion. ●

PLEASE GIVE US A GLIMPSE OF “ THE POWER OF PISTACHIOS”. Pistachios are one of the lowest calorie nuts with only 160 calories in a single ounce. Gram for gram pistachios have more protein than lentils, paneer and chickpeas. They contain monounsaturated fats, are naturally cholesterol free and a rich source of dietary fibre, potassium and vitamins and minerals like B6, thiamin, copper and phosphorous.

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WE ARE EATING LOTS OF SALADS , BUT EVEN THEN WE ARE

QUESTIONED ABOUT IT BEING HEALTHY. HOW COME?

Yes a salad consisting a lot of greens, vegetables and fruits is considered healthy only till it’s dressing is also healthy. By incorporating an unhealthy ingredient like a calorific dressing into an otherwise healthy diet diminishes or kills the positive effects of the health food and makes it unhealthy. — SAVITA BHARGAVA If you have any problem in cooking or kitchen, write to Woman’s Era. We shall try to help you sort it out. Address your queries to: WOMAN'S ERA, E-3, Jhandewala Estate, Rani Jhansi Marg, New Delhi-110 055. Click womansera.com to lodge your queries.

Woman’s Era ● February 2021

Why do

Women Lose their Sexual Desire? Low sex drive in woman. By A. Kartikeyan

omen's sexual desires naturally fluctuate over the years. Highs and lows commonly coincide with the beginning or end of a relationship or with major life changes, such as pregnancy, menopause or illness. Some medications used for mood disorders also can cause low sex drive in women. If your lack of interest in sex continues or returns and causes personal distress, you may have a condition called sexual interest/arousal disorder. But you don't have to meet this 92

medical definition to seek help. If you're bothered by a low sex drive or decreased sex drive, there are lifestyle changes and sexual techniques that may put you in the mood more often. Some medications may offer promise as well.

Symptoms If you want to have sex less often than your partner does, neither one of you is necessarily outside the norm for people at your stage in life — although your differences may cause distress. Woman’s Era ● February 2021

Similarly, even if your sex drive is weaker than it once was, your relationship may be stronger than ever. Bottom line: There is no magic number to define low sex drive. It varies among women. Symptoms of low sex drive in women include: ● Having no interest in any type of sexual activity, including masturbation ● Never or only seldom having sexual fantasies or thoughts ● Being concerned by your lack of sexual activity or fantasies

Causes Desire for sex is based on a complex interaction of many things affecting intimacy, including physical and emotional well-being, experiences, beliefs, lifestyle, and your current relationship. If you're experiencing a problem in any of these areas, it can affect your desire for sex. Physical causes: A wide range of illnesses, physical changes and medications can cause a low sex drive, including: Sexual problems. If you have pain during sex or can't orgasm, it can reduce your desire for sex. Medical diseases. Many nonsexual diseases can affect sex drive, including arthritis, cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, coronary artery disease and neurological diseases. Medications. Certain prescription drugs, especially antidepressants called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, are known to lower the sex drive. Lifestyle habits. A glass of wine may put you in the mood, but too much alcohol can affect your sex drive. The same is true of street drugs. Also, smoking decreases blood flow, which may dull arousal. Surgery. Any surgery related to your breasts or genital tract can affect your body image, sexual function and desire for sex. Fatigue. Exhaustion from caring for young children or aging parents can contribute to low sex drive. Fatigue from illness or surgery also can play a role in a low sex drive.

Hormone changes: Changes in your hormone levels may alter your desire for sex. This can occur during: Menopause. Estrogen levels drop during the transition to menopause. This can make you less interested in sex and cause dry vaginal tissues, resulting in painful or uncomfortable sex. Although many women still have satisfying sex during menopause and beyond, some experience a lagging libido during this hormonal change.

Factors leading to lack of sexual desire in women

DESIRE FOR SEX IS BASED ON A COMPLEX INTERACTION OF MANY THINGS AFFECTING INTIMACY, INCLUDING PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING, EXPERIENCES, BELIEFS, LIFESTYLE, AND YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP. IF YOU'RE EXPERIENCING A PROBLEM IN ANY OF THESE AREAS, IT CAN AFFECT YOUR DESIRE FOR SEX. Pregnancy and breast-feeding. Hormone changes during pregnancy, just after having a baby and during breast-feeding can put a damper on sex drive. Fatigue, changes in body image, and the pressures of pregnancy or caring for Woman’s Era

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February 2021

a new baby also can contribute to changes in your sexual desire.

Psychological causes: Your state of mind can affect your sexual desire. There are many psychological causes of low sex drive, including: ● Mental health problems, such as anxiety or depression ● Stress, such as financial stress or work stress ● Poor body image ● Low self-esteem ● History of physical or sexual abuse ● Previous negative sexual experiences ● Relationship issues For many women, emotional closeness is an essential prelude to sexual intimacy. So problems in your relationship can be a major factor in low sex drive. Decreased interest in sex is often a result of 93

ongoing issues, such as: ● Lack of connection with your partner ● Unresolved conflicts or fights ● Poor communication of sexual needs and preferences ● Trust issues

These medications aren't FDAapproved for use in postmenopausal women.

Hormone therapy

Most women benefit from a treatment approach aimed at the many causes behind this condition. Recommendations may include sex education, counseling, and sometimes medication and hormone therapy.

Dryness or shrinking of the vagina, one of the hallmark signs of genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM), might make sex uncomfortable and, in turn, reduce your desire. Certain hormone medications that aim to relieve GSM symptoms could help make sex more comfortable. And being more comfortable during sex may improve your desire.

Sex education and counseling:

Lifestyle and home remedies

Talking with a sex therapist or counselor skilled in addressing sexual concerns can help with low sex drive. Therapy often includes education about sexual response and techniques. Your therapist or counselor likely will provide recommendations for reading materials or couples' exercises. Couples counseling that addresses relationship issues may also help increase feelings of intimacy and desire.

Healthy lifestyle changes can make a big difference in your desire for sex: Exercise. Regular aerobic exercise and strength training can increase your stamina, improve your body image, lift your mood and boost your libido. Stress less. Finding a better way to cope with work stress, financial stress and daily hassles can enhance your sex drive. Communicate with your partner. Couples who learn to communicate in an open, honest way usually maintain a stronger emotional connection, which can lead to better sex. Communicating about sex also is important. Talking about your likes and dislikes can set the stage for greater sexual intimacy. Set aside time for intimacy. Scheduling sex into your calendar may seem contrived and boring. But making intimacy a priority can help put your sex drive back on track. Add a little spice to your sex life. Try a different sexual position, a different time of day or a different

Treatment

Medications: Your doctor will want to review the medications you're already taking, to see if any of them tend to cause sexual side effects. For example, antidepressants such as paroxetine (Paxil) and fluoxetine (Prozac, Sarafem) may lower sex drive. Switching to bupropion (Wellbutrin SR, Wellbutrin XL) — a different type of antidepressant — usually improves sex drive and is sometimes prescribed for women with sexual interest/arousal disorder. 94

location for sex. Ask your partner to spend more time on foreplay. If you and your partner are open to experimentation, sex toys and fantasy can help rekindle your sexual desire. Ditch bad habits. Smoking, illegal drugs and excess alcohol can all dampen your sex drive. Ditching these bad habits may help give your sex drive a boost and improve your overall health.

Woman’s Era

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February 2021

Coping and Support ● Low sex drive can be very

difficult for you and your partner. It's natural to feel frustrated or sad if you aren't able to be as sexy and romantic as you want — or you used to be. ● At the same time, low sex drive can make your partner feel rejected, which can lead to conflicts and strife. And this type of relationship turmoil can further reduce desire for sex. ● It may help to remember that fluctuations in the sex drive are a normal part of every relationship and every stage of life. Try not to focus all of your attention on sex. Instead, spend some time nurturing yourself and your relationship. ● Go for a long walk. Get a little extra sleep. Kiss your partner goodbye before you head out the door. Make a date night at your favorite restaurant. Feeling good about yourself and your partner can actually be the best foreplay. We

birth. In about 1% of births, this doesn’t happen. The doctor must reach into the uterus and remove the placenta for which you may need anesthesia. All women lose some blood during childbirth. A woman is more likely to lose a lot of blood if the labour is prolonged, the size of the baby is big, when instrumental (vacuum, forceps) delivery AM IN THE NINTH MONTH OF MY FIRST PREGNANCY. MY PROBLEM IS was required, after twin deliver or when the placenta doesn’t that both my nipples are retracted. This will cause difficulty pass out on its own. In very few women (less than 1%) a blood in breast feeding my baby. Is there any way by which I can transfusion may be required after vaginal birth if the bleeding improve the situation before delivery? was excessive. ● You could begin by catching the nipple between your thumb and forefinger and rolling it gently forwards. Repeat CAN I HAVE AN X RAY DONE DURING PREGNANCY? this exercise daily. Alternatively there is a small plastic cup Though X rays are best avoided during pregnancy, a lot available that has to be put between the nipple and the bra depends upon why it is needed and how much beneficial it is with the mouth of the cup on the nipple. The negative pressure to you at this point of time. The further the area to be X rayed so created helps draw the nipple out in some cases. If this too is from your baby the less likely is it to cause harm. In any case fails, a nipple shield can be used to breast feet your child. You the abdomen is protected by a lead shield to avoid exposure will be taught how to sterilise and use it after delivery. of the baby to the rays.

I am Pregnant

QA &

I I

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AM IN MY THIRTY SIXTH WEEK OF PREGNANCY AND HAVE BEEN

diagnosed to be a case of placenta previa. The doctor has said that I will need a cesarean section and blood for the same. This has scared me for I know a lot of people who have had a cesarean section but did not need blood. Kindly enlighten me. Occasionally the placenta is attached to the lower part of the uterus and is labeled as a low lying placenta as seen on ultrasounds done in the first half of pregnancy. As pregnancy advances, the uterus usually takes the placenta up with it. Only in a small percentage of cases it remains low - before the baby’s head. This can separate during sex, internal examination or during the painless uterine contractions that occur throughout pregnancy, leading to vaginal bleeding. The severity of the bleed depends upon the degree of placenta previa and the amount of separation and can cause grave complications. Usually a cesarean section is the best option for pregnancies with placenta previa and arranging blood beforehand in patients who are expected to bleed makes sound clinical sense. ●

COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS DURING VAGINAL BIRTH? Labor contractions increase in intensity and duration over a period of hours and slowly open the cervix. When the cervix is completely open, contractions help push the baby through the birth canal (vagina). Usually, the baby’s head comes out first, then the shoulders, followed by the rest of the body. You will be shifted to the labor room when the uterus is completely open (along with your birthing partner to offer support). Some women (about 10-15%) need help getting the baby through the birth canal. A doctor may apply a special vacuum cup or forceps to the baby’s head to help the mother push the baby out. Many women get small tears around the vaginal opening. Sometimes the doctor will cut some tissue to make the opening bigger (episiotomy) which require stitches. The stitches will dissolve during healing. The area will be sore for a few days. Normally, the uterus expels the placenta soon after

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AM IN THE 8TH MONTH OF MY PREGNANCY. MY DOCTOR HAS ASKED

me to perform Kegel’s exercises. How are they done and what is the use? Kegel’s exercises make the pelvic floor more elastic and strong so that the child can pass through it comfortably. This is that part of the body that holds the pelvic organs in place and is perforated by the urinary, vaginal and anal orifices. It is made of muscle and fibrous tissue, Lie on the back with knees bent and feet flat on the floor. Squeeze the two buttock muscles together. While doing this press the thighs firmly together and pull up as though preventing the passage of stool and urine. Count slowly from one to ten. Relax to the same number of counts. Do this 10 time each 3 times a day. You can do this exercise daily, even in the standing position, while cooking, washing, standing in queues etc.

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AM THREE MONTHS PREGNANT AND THE ELDERS IN MY FAMILY INSIST

that I eat for two. As it is, it is becoming difficult to eat for one on account of the dyspepsia and the nausea. Please tell me what should I do? One needs only 300 calories extra per day during pregnancy (equivalent to two and half cups of toned milk) so the question of eating for two does not arise, especially if the second ‘person’ is microscopic to begin with and grows to a maximum size of 3-4 kilograms. ●

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS A PLACENTA? The placenta is fleshy plate like structure that is attached to the uterine wall on one side and via the umbilical cord to the baby’s navel. It carries oxygen and nutrition form the mother to the baby and takes waste products and carbon dioxide from the baby to the mother. It is usually attached to the upper part of the uterus and is called the after birth in lay terms for it is delivered soon after the baby as its utility is over. – Dr. A.K. Bajaj

Woman’s Era ● February 2021

Is virtual the new reality? By Sujatha Rao

eddings in our small community hailing from Udupi are not very outlandish affairs in the normal course. But this inter-caste love marriage of my brother’s daughter was to be different. It was the wedding of the youngest member in both bride’s and groom’s families and as per the groom’s family custom, it was to be spread over 3-4 days, unlike the typical 1-2 days conservative ceremony norm of our families.

In fact, we eagerly looked forward to this “different” one as it had been a long time since we had a wedding in the family. This was way back in early January 2020. The excitement in the air was very much palpable as everyone got busy making plans. The cousins of the couple overseas commanded that they be informed about the wedding date at the earliest so that they could get hold of cheaper tickets. As the days rolled on, what to wear and where to shop were the

most hotly debated topics over our phone calls. But then COVID happened and out went all our plans. By late February, everyone realized that visits from the NRIs were totally ruled out. By August, it became very clear that the virus wasn’t going to go away anytime soon. That was when the families decided to ahead with the wedding and the date were set as 14th September 2020. The Ceremony was to take place in Bengaluru while some of us close

family members from the bride’s family were living across cities and towns in the state of Telangana. With the bulk of us find ourselves on the wrong side of the sixties and some even of seventies, to our great disappointment; we realized that travel for us Resident Indians was also out of the question. The wedding invitation was sent across over Whatsapp, followed by personal phone calls. But over both these modes, it was made amply clear that blessings were sought only through the invitees’ “virtual presence”. A link was provided in the invitation to the website that was to live webcast the wedding ceremony. Honestly speaking, we were all crestfallen for having lost that single opportunity to attend a wedding in the family after a very long time and that too such a different one from the same old, same old types. We reluctantly reconciled to the fact of having to watch it from the safe distance of hundreds of miles thanks to the 0.06-micron virus that had begun to rule over the lives of human beings across the globe. Discussions over what to wear on the wedding day had become redundant. The same held true for the talks over the veritable menu for the ‘n’ number of ceremonies that were to happen before, during, and after the wedding. We settled ourselves to witness what we opined to be a bland, low key, and insipid ceremony of sorts. My brother’s family of four made the journey from Telangana to Bengaluru by car fully equipped with sanitizers, masks, gloves, tissues, etc. With the enormity of the situation hitting my sister-in-law hard, she started throwing up in the car, necessitating an urgent visit to the doctor on the way. They finally reached Bengaluru with grim faces, tired bodies, and scared minds. However, the welcome

reception they received from the groom’s family managed to lift their spirits a bit. Finally, the day arrived and all of us settled in front of our devices across the globe. Some of us decided to watch it on the big screen, while some less technosavvy people from the group (the ones who didn’t dare explore beyond clicking the link – lest it should end up exploding in the faces) had to reconcile to watching it over their mobile phones. The screen started displaying the image of the Lord Ganesha – the Indian deity who single-handedly held the responsibility of warding off all the “Vighna” or the “untoward interruptions.” I really appreciated that idea till I realized that Lord Ganesha would become the “go-to” image whenever the

THE WEDDING INVITATION WAS SENT ACROSS OVER WHATSAPP, FOLLOWED BY PERSONAL PHONE CALLS. BUT OVER BOTH THESE MODES, IT WAS MADE AMPLY CLEAR THAT BLESSINGS WERE SOUGHT ONLY THROUGH THE INVITEES’ “VIRTUAL PRESENCE”.

network broke down. Well, it was a very smart move. Who can dare blame the Lord Ganesha? Surely, it must only be a temporary “interlude” ordained by the Lord himself, pray you! As the wedding ceremony unfolded, I stretched out on my Diwan, in my comfortable house wear. My maid, who too wanted to see the wedding on the TV, settled down in the hall carrying on with her excited banter from behind her mask.

VIRTUAL WORLD Suddenly, the TV screen came alive with the smiling faces of the bride and groom walking hand-inhand towards the wedding mandap - the groom in his traditional white dhoti and white silk shirt and the bride in her maroon gold zari saree with a contrast green designer blouse - looking resplendent and glowing as happy couples do on their wedding day. The less than 15 member entourage following them looked insignificantly small from what we were normally used to seeing during our wedding ceremonies.

BUT I GUESS, THAT WAS A SMALL PRICE TO PAY FOR THE LUXURY OF BEING ABLE TO WATCH IT SAFELY FROM THE COMFORT OF ONE’S DRAWING-ROOM (OR KITCHEN FOR THAT MATTER) IN THE MIDDLE OF A RAGING PANDEMIC ACROSS THE WORLD. As the ceremony went on, all of us got busy on our phones commenting on the various rituals viz., Kashi Yatra, Mangalasutra Dharana, the sighting of Arundhati Nakshatra over our different Whatsapp groups. As the couple took their seven steps towards their married life, the camera stood focused on their feet inviting a cousin’s comment that it was the very first time she saw the couple’s feet so clearly during a wedding, When the “holy smoke” of the “homa” brought tears to those in physical presence at the wedding, the highly allergic me was happy to have escaped that ordeal. Once the group photo comprising of about 15 people from both sides was flashed on the screen, the newly married couple thanked the virtual audience with a polite Namaste and signed off. As I logged off, it struck me that 3 hours had simply flown by. Surprisingly, I felt the experience was better in many ways than 98

physically being present at the Wedding. Well, it removed all the stress of having to dress up, going through those uncomfortable chats, the sweaty experience of enduring hours draped in a silk saree, etc. The only thing I missed was the delectable food spread of an Indian Wedding. But I guess, that was a small price to pay for the luxury of being able to watch it safely from the comfort of one’s drawing-room (or kitchen for that matter) in the middle of a raging pandemic across the world. I felt, my daughter’s Whatsapp message was sent from the comfort of her home in California which read “It is one of the best weddings I have attended so far. I did all my laundry, loaded my dishwasher, and finished other chores - all while watching the wedding in my pajamas” summed up our collective feeling very beautifully.

Attending the Wedding Virtually Evoked the Following Thoughts in me: ❥ Small is indeed beautiful. Ask any parent who has performed the wedding during 2020 when the earnings of all kinds have taken a beating during the uncertain and extremely stressful times that we find ourselves in, and I bet they are sure to agree with this. ❥ The virtual attendance doesn’t matter, as long as the smiles on the faces of the couple and the families are real and genuine. ❥ If the equation of the boy’s side and girl’s side is equally balanced in the real sense, weddings tend to be beautiful even when viewed from thousands of miles of distance. ❥ Attending a wedding at home wear happens to be a very big luxury. ❥ Weddings are about the Woman’s Era

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February 2021

union of two people in matrimony and it’s just that. Everything else happens to be frills. ❥ Forced minimalist weddings are perhaps one of the biggest benefits of the pandemic. ❥ Technology gives a level playing platform – it gives the person a similar experience despite the geographical distances or differences in time zones. ❥Attending a wedding virtually being so much lighter on everyone’s (including that of the invitees) is an added advantage. It also left me wondering whether the trend of virtual attendance at Indian weddings would end up blazing a trail even afterlife gets back to normal post COVID era. I guess time only will We tell.

Your Body

3 to 4 times a day for about 6 weeks. Systemic broad spectrum antibiotics are very important, since the condition is often associated with an asymptomatic venereal infection. Improvement in personal hygiene and regular chlorination of swimming pool water will definitely decrease the spread the disease. Patient's sexual partner should be examined and treated.

18 YRS OLD COLLEGE GOING GIRL, since last three to four weeks she is suffering from irritation, itching, redness and swelling on the skin of her externa ear, sometimes crust are also formed over it. We have consulted an ENT surgeon for this problem. He told us that she is suffering from eczematous otitis external and advised treatment. I want to know about the causes and treatment of the disease. Eczematous otitis externa is an allergic dermatitis of the external ear. The allergen may be extrinsic or intrinsic. Clinical features of the disease are irritation, redness and oedema (Swelling) of the skin of the external ear. These are followed by vesication, weeping and crust formation. The picture may be changed by secondary infection. In chronic state scaling and fissuring occur. This may end in stenosis (complete blockage) of the ear canal. Treatment in acute stage consists of hydrocortisone acetate ointment gives dramatic improvement. Antihistaminics should be given systemically. Aluminium acetate 8 per cent or resorcin 5 per cent may be applied. In chronic stage silver nitrate 10 per cent solution is applied. In stenosis plastic operation may be required but any treatment should be taken only by consultation of a doctor. Y DAUGHTER IS ABOUT

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30 YRS OLD WORKING WOMAN, SINCE LAST FOUR TO FIVE weeks, I am suffering from discharge from my eyes, alongwith this other symptoms are ocular discomfort, foreign body sensation and difficulty in opening eyes in bright light. I am also suffering from a gynecological problem called cervicitis (inflammation of part of vagina). I have consulted an eye specialist for this problem. After examination he told me that you are suffering from adult inclusion conjunctivitis and advised treatment I want to know about the symptoms causes, treatment and prevention of the disease. Adult inclusion conjunctivitis is a type of acute follicular conjunctivitis associated with mucopurulent discharge. It usually affects the sexually active young adults. Inclusion conjunctivitis is caused by Serotypes D to K of chlamydia trachomatis. The primary source of inflection is urethritis in males and cervicitis in females. The transmission of infection may occur to eyes either through contaminated fingers or more commonly through contaminated water of swimming pools (hence the name swimming pool conjunctivitis). Symptoms of the disease are ocular discomfort, foreign body sensation, mild photophobia and mucopurulent discharge from the eyes. Conjunctiva becomes red, upper part of the cornea becomes inflamed (swollen), lymp nodes behind the ear becomes swollen. Treatment consists of broad spectrum antibiotic eye drops AM A

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27 YRS OLD WORKING WOMAN AND GOT MARRIED THREE years back. In last three years I have got three abortions in continuation. I have consulted a lady doctor for this problem. After examination doctor told me that there is no identifiable cause of abortion and told me that you are suffering from recurrent (habitual) abortion and there are 70 to 80 percent chance of carrying a normal pregnancy and child birth. I want to know about the causes, management and precautions taken in case of recurrent (habitual) abortion. Recurrent (Habitual) abortion has been defined for years as the loss of three or more previable more than 500 gm pregnancies in succession. Recurrent abortion occurs in about 0.4 to 0.8 percent of all pregnancies. Abnormalities related to recurrent abortion can be identified in approximately half of the couples. If a woman has lost three previous pregnancies without identifiable cause, she still has a 70 to 80 percent chance of carrying a fetus to viability. If she has aborted four or five times, the likelihood of a successful pregnancy is 65 to 70 percent. Recurrent abortion is a clinical rather than pathologic diagnosis. Preconception therapy is aimed at detection of maternal or paternal defects that may contribute to abortion. A thorough general and gynecologic examination is essential. Polycystic ovaries should be ruled out. A random blood glucose test and thyroid function studies should be done. Detection of lupus anticoagulant and other haemostatic abnormalities and an antinuclear antibody test may be indicated. Endometrial tissue should be examined in the post ovulation stage of the cycle to determine the adequacy of the response of the endometrium to hormones. The competency of the cervix must be determined and hysteroscopy or hysterography used to exclude submucous myomas and congenital anomalies. Some women demonstrate a lack of maternal antibody response to paternal lymphocytes, which is customarily found in normal women after successful childbearing. Provide early prenatal care and schedule frequent office visits. Complete bed rest is justified only for bleeding or pain. The prognosis is excellent if the cause of abortion can be corrected. – Dr Sanjay Teotia. AM A

Readers are invited to send in any health and medical queries they would like to be answered. Woman’s Era will provide answers to your questions and offer solutions to your problems. Individual replies cannot be sent. Address your letters (neatly written on white paper) to: WOMAN’S ERA E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055. Womansera.com

Woman’s Era ● February 2021

SOFT SEXY GLAM MAKEUP! Easy, Quick Flawless Tutorial. Step

Prep the skin with a moisturizer.

Step

Apply a layer of foundation on with full coverage.

To hide dark circles, apply your colour correction concealer.

Step

Apply eyeliner.

Step

Shape the eyebrows.

Step

Then blend the foundation properly.

Step

Measure the lashes with natural lash & apply it to give a more fluttery look.

Step

Lift the lashes with mascara.

Step

Apply coral pink blush to the apples of the cheeks.

Your glam party look is ready!

Step

Outline the lips and apply nude shade of lipstick.

e h t e m i T a t a y Man

Mobile

The availability of too many options makes no reason to try! By Kalpna Gupta

echnology is serving us with various connections these days. Gone are those days when the sky used to witness the impatient lover waiting for the pigeon to drop by! The trin-trin of the landline phone was another source of excitement when the particular person was called up and brought to the limelight saying- “your call!”Aren’t we missing that curiosity? We title ourselves to be technically advanced. The race is not just to possess a mobile phone but also to be flamboyant if it is expensive. While communicating, we are not just two but many. Today, we all have become multi-tasking and, thus, are in multiple relationships. Sitting together is seldom between the two people. The beep of our mobile phones keeps reminding us that there is a world outside waiting for us. Your lover can wait. Can’t she see you are occupied with some work? After all, it is the question to earn ‘Big’ (quotes intended). We have actually divided our affection. It is not just our darling beloved who deserves our time but ‘technical darlings’ (pun intended) are equally worthy. To express our love and affection, we all have to use our

fingers instead of our hand-in-hand gesture. The skin-to-skin affection has been transferred to the chat boxes. “Loving someone is not a mood. It is a commitment even after your mood changes”- says Jay Shetty, a motivational speaker. I wonder when it was when we ‘loved and ‘committed to someone our love is multi-rooted. We have distributed our limited emotions. It takes one’s time and effort to love someone. The gesture of meeting in person is at the top amongst all others. On contrary, we never meet as a couple anymore. We have multiplied without getting married. It is the right time, I believe, to update the word ‘couple’ in the oxford dictionary as we are not two who meet but four- ‘main, meri aur humare do phone’. It is difficult here for me to write whether the above mentioned selfcreated phrase is making me happy or worried. ‘What is it that makes our relationship strong?’ is an important question now. The answer is one’s efforts. It is important to meet and spend time together. Mind it, ‘to meet’ is more stressed here. We must have experienced individually that the little efforts make it big. The process, through which we surpass, from leaving our top priority work to making it happen to meet that special one wants counts in the efforts. While travelling, it is not just the

Relationships? distance that we cover in kilometers but the bag full of emotions (exciting and happy) travels with us. Is it worth mentioning now that how important it is to acknowledge each other’s efforts? Think about it! School-going children are no longer an exception. They understand the term ‘relationship’ but in a different format. For them, everything has to be digital and technically sound. Then why not relationships? Our children are much more stressed out than us. Their mind is not just going through a mental development process but they are drained out of innocence at much earlier stage. The age of childhood and adolescence are meant to be a carefree part of our struggle full life. It is full of life and excitement. This age asks for no reason to be happy. Unfortunately, the ‘mobile relationships’ have ‘successfully connected’ to our little champs too. It not only has gifted them with ‘diverted minds’ but also has taught them to be multicentric instead of being unicentric. After all, the world is just a click away now. Isn’t It.? Facebook is a social platform. It has connected not only the states but also the countries. A girl sitting in India can have a ‘digital boyfriend ‘sitting in the United States. What is the bottom line of such relationships? Are these fulfilling? Well, we do have exceptions. Love knows no boundaries. Be it caste, age, or country, love flies from chat boxes to video calls. It begins with ‘let us know each other’ and ends at ‘It’s not a match. You will find someone better’. It is mandatory to express oneself. It’s one’s duty to acknowledge that the person is indispensable. Then only we will be

able to convert our ‘moody love’ to a ‘committed ‘one. I wonder what if we had the nonavailability of the connecting wires. Would it have been that easy to ‘move on’? The available options make a difference. One isn’t bound to find solutions to make up for the differences. Rather, it is much easier to start with a new venture. The play store gives us the platform. Where ‘tinder’ allows to date, shaadi.com provides a plethora of profiles to scan and choose according to one’s standardized criteria. We are judged at every step. So is our love. It is Judgmental.

TECHNICAL ADVANCEMENT The digital world introduces people with their profiles to each other. To put the cherry on the cake, the beautification apps make the complexion fair in a few seconds. The relationship begins on the grounds of being ‘handsome’ and ‘beautiful’. Where are the words ‘honesty’ and ‘committed’ lost? Do profiles give access to the abstract norms too? I wonder! It was said that to solidify love, physical intimation is a must. Contrarily, it is topsyturvy now. Sex hits the list of pointers for a relationship to survive. There is no time left for

WHILE TRAVELLING, IT IS NOT JUST THE DISTANCE THAT WE COVER IN KILOMETERS BUT THE BAG FULL OF EMOTIONS (EXCITING AND HAPPY) TRAVELS WITH US. IS IT WORTH MENTIONING NOW THAT HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO ACKNOWLEDGE EACH OTHER’S EFFORTS? THINK ABOUT IT!

knowing the partner. The assets are unveiled over mobile phones which forms the base for the first meeting. It is to mention here that certainly sex plays a prominent role in relationships. It is impossible to challenge the source creation of this universe. The question is of the impatience. The technical advancement of mobile phones has made it easy. We can hear and see each other live. The wait is when technology will even replace the meetings- in-person to meetings-inperson on mobile phones themselves. I have come in touch with my school buddies on Facebook. We revised our teachers whose lectures we used to enjoy a lot. The friend who was a cry baby became the hero of our conversation. A classmate has finally asked for a reunion. You see-many at a time! It became possible only because of technology. Had such platforms not been there, we would never have crossed each other’s paths again. For every single piece of information, we Google it immediately. The e-editions of the print media have made it easy for the readers to carry the newspapers on their mobile phones. The retired people from jobs are

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no more limited to parks. They have their office family still on their mobile phones. The home-makers have become chefs as the recipes are right there in their pockets. We have advanced a lot.

DIGITALIZED RELATIONSHIP Old relationships are suffering a bit. Aren’t they? We are so much engrossed in looking into something ‘new’ that we end up spending major time there. One

A GIRL SITTING IN INDIA CAN HAVE A ‘DIGITAL BOYFRIEND ‘SITTING IN THE UNITED STATES. WHAT IS THE BOTTOM LINE OF SUCH RELATIONSHIPS? ARE THESE FULFILLING? WELL, WE DO HAVE EXCEPTIONS. LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES. BE IT CASTE, AGE, OR COUNTRY, LOVE FLIES FROM CHAT BOXES TO VIDEO CALLS.

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day, the eyes of my mother stopped on my cellphone. She wanted to talk to me for a while. The ‘digital’ me was unavailable. Is it often that we ask about the well-being of our parents? Or are we busy sending group messages of quotes on our Watsapp status? The choice is still ours! Early to bed is early to rise. The duration of sleep in our day-today life makes us healthy. It affects our mental health. We are confused about prioritizing our choices. We sleep less and have disturbing dreams. The first task we do after getting up and the last before going to bed is the same – checking our mobile phones! We have forgotten to wish ‘good night ‘to our family members. There are walls inside the walls of our bedrooms which are drifting us away moment by moment, day by day. The pandemic caused by coronavirus has given new meanings to education. It has digitalized the classrooms, students, and the parents. According to the department of telecom, the daily average consumption in this period was 9% higher than 282 PB data used on March 21 (the day the Janta Curfew was announced) and 13% more than March 19 when consumption was 270 PB. The school children have stopped referring to the hard copies of their textbooks. They are learning mathematics online which is a practical subject altogether. Moreover, it has become a one-way communication. The students are asked to keep their accounts on mute and just sit and listen to what the teacher has to say. The passive classrooms have become more of a dictator than the facilitators. It is high time to rethink our investment plans. Let us invest our time and efforts in our relationships more in person than digitally. It is important to understand that technology can never be a replacement for our friends and family. The personification of our mobile relationships is worth revising. I wish all of us the sunshine. We

Child Challenges

when the baby is sleeping. When the breath holding spells last longer or the baby turns blue it is cause for concern a pediatric consult is warranted.

QA &

Y NEIGHBOUR’S DAUGHTER HAS WHITE SPOTS ON HER body. Even the hair on the affected areas is white. People say it is a form of leprosy. As she comes over often to play with my daughter I am worried fest she catch the dreadful disease. Please let me know if it is contagious or not. Your neighbour’s daughter is suffering from vitilgo, also known as leucoderma. This ailment occurs due to the loss of skin pigment called melanin, which is responsible for the normal colour of the skin. It is not at all infectious. You can allow your daughter to play with her without any fear of her contracting the disease.

HOW

I I

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SHE HAS JUST ERUPTED her first tooth. As a result she has become cranky and tries to put things in her mouth. I fear for her health as this is unhygienic and may lead to infections. Please tell how to deal with a child’s teething. The baby may experience some discomfort while teething and becomes fretful. She dribbles, chews her fist and tries to bite on anything she lays her hands on. Try easing her discomfort by rubbing your little finger on her gums. Give her something firm to chew on like a carrot or a clean teething ring. LIKE TO WATCH MY SLEEPING BABY AND FEEL MATERNAL LOVE WELL

up inside me. Sometimes my baby stops breathing for a while which gets me worried. Should I take him to a the doctor. The irregular breathing pattern too is normal for babies. He may breathe rapidly after a bout of crying or when he is excited or he may stop breathing for 5-10 seconds and then starts up on his own. This pattern of breathing usually occurs

KEEP MY CHILD SAFE DURING THESE TRYING DAYS

OF CORONA?

✿ ✿

Keep your child home. Teach him the right method of washing hands – front, back, knuckles, between the fingers and thumb for twenty seconds. Everyone in the family should wash their hands as well and often. Soap and water suffices to kill the virus though one can use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer in case the hands are clean but one has touched a surface that might be contaminated by a person with corona. Use regular household cleaners or wipes to clean things that get touched a lot (doorknobs, light switches, toys, remote controls, phones, etc.). Do this every day. Teach everyone in the household to cough and sneeze in the crook of their elbows. Avoid contact with other people, especially those who are sick.

that have later turned watery yellow. How does one know that the stools a newborn is passing are

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HER

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HAVE A SEVEN MONTHS OLD DAUGHTER.

Y NEWBORN DAUGHTER PASSED BLOOD FROM

private parts a few days after delivery. This has alarmed us terribly. What could be the cause? Maternal hormones circulate in the baby’s blood while she is in the uterus. At delivery the sudden withdrawal of these hormones lead to a menstruation like situation which is entirely harmless. It does not require treatment and will not recur.

Y NEWBORN BABY WAS FIRST PASSING DARK GREEN STOOLS

normal? More than 95% of newborns have their first bowel movement within the first 24 hours. If delayed for longer than that, it needs to be investigated. The motion a baby passes initially is dark green and sticky. This is called meconium, the substance that was inside his intestines when he was in the uterus. From the 3rd – 5th day the stools become watery and greenish yellow. This is called transitional diarrhea and needs no treatment. Thereafter if the child is on formula feeds, the stools tend to be constipated. Those on mother’s milk usually pass ‘breast milk stools’ that are yellowish, curdy, loose and frequent - 6-10 stools a day, in fact a bowel movement with every feed is normal.

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HAVE RECENTLY GIVEN BIRTH TO A BEAUTIFUL BABY.

I would very much like to know what to expect in the coming year in the way of mental development of a child? The mental milestones of a child are as follows: ✿ 6-8 weeks – smiles, follows objects with his eyes and begins to vocalize. Recognizes you by 8 weeks. ✿ 8-12 weeks - a child can hear sounds and respond to them. He can perceive touch, smell and taste and sees patterns and contrast. At two months he begins cooing and responds to the caregiver. All perceptions become more acute. ✿ 16 weeks - laughs and plays with his hands and feet. ✿ 7 – 9 months - his vision becomes more focused. He can distinguish patterns and visualize all colours. Hearing improves. Likes being read to. Responds to ‘NO’. ✿ 10-12 months - a child learns to connect meanings with words. He speaks his first words and can also distinguish features. Imitates actions, responds to questions, plays games. ✿ 18 months – the baby can toddle and play. – Dr Amrinder Bajaj, MD.

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E-Waste Management in India Challenges of E-Waste.

n today’s technology consumed world, e-waste is a concept that people need to be more aware of. E-waste is an umbrella term used to describe discarded electronic devices whether its laptops, airconditioners, refrigerators, mobiles, televisions, computers, VCRs, stereos, copiers, fax machines or any other digital device or electronic equipment. We have many shows discussing the pros and cons of the latest gadgets being introduced, we have a comparison of the old with new electronic devices; yet there is scarcity of knowledge among the layman, when it comes to the concept of e-waste.

BY Aditi Maheshwari

E-waste commonly assumed as digital rubbish is not because the equipment’s stopped performing and therefore are being discarded, the technological advancements are leading people to change devices simply because of upgradation in technology leading the precursors to be rendered outdated. For example: the concept of “smart homes” is encouraging choices where people are vowed to more comfortable living by use of advanced technology which provides many services just by the click of a tab; like the security of the house is in-tacked, switching lights, air-conditioners, etc. and such other

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luring offers, but has anyone considered the after effects of excessive dependency on digitalization and obsession with upgradation of technology in daily activities. The rapid ascension of e-waste is a global concern. Most electronics contain high quantity of lead, mercury, cadmium, barium and bromine, etc. which are toxic to the environment when buried; as leaching process damages the soil, the ground water and thus the nearby fresh water bodies are infected too. The result is contamination of crops, livestock and wildlife of the surrounding area.

The crops soak up traces of ewaste during the developing stages and after harvest when we purchase and consume such crops, we unknowingly consume these toxins. Bioaccumulation of such toxins can lead to long-term brain and nerve damage. Also, inhalation of these toxic fumes from their accumulation in soil, air, food not only has negative implications on people and land animals but sea animals also get infected because of them. Well, e-waste pollution can be controlled; if we collectively implement methodical measures to safeguard our environment from ewaste.

Some of the measures are shared below: Produce less e-waste: Don’t just jump into the lure of new products. The cost of achieving something is not always in monetary terms. Disturbing the ecosystem will take away more from us than what we realize. Reuse: Instead of discarding the old, consider donating them, regifting them or selling them for further use by someone else. Repair: Instead of purchasing a new product, prefer to get the old one repaired. It’s not always costly or impractical. Don’t let the slightest inconvenience prompt you to encourage e-waste. Proper Collection and Recycling of e-waste: Recycling e-waste is the ultimate option; just make sure you execute it the right way. Recycled metals are more energy efficient. Example: Valuable metals like silver, copper, tin, gold, etc. can be extracted from the circuit boards. Thus, end-of-life handling measures play a vital role in e-waste effect. In order to develop a circular economy, where resources are saved and fed back into the supply chain for reuse it’s essential to be responsible in the process of not just collecting e-waste but also

ensuring it reaches the correct authority liable for recycling or dismantling the e-waste.

Life and ecosystem The technology innovators will continue to expand and create user friendly electric devices designed to make our lives easier in every conceivable way but being susceptible to quickly pitching the machines we already have can cost heavily on our environmental degradation. We as individuals are responsible and thus need to make sure we don’t just keep passing the e-waste liability on the government and instead are responsible ourselves. Dizzying speed of technological advances has no end; it’s a continuous learning and upgrading activity. However, environmental protection should be our priority. We have already exhausted substantial amount of natural resources and can’t afford

VALUABLE METALS LIKE SILVER, COPPER, TIN, GOLD, ETC. CAN BE EXTRACTED FROM THE CIRCUIT BOARDS. THUS, END-OF-LIFE HANDLING MEASURES PLAY A VITAL ROLE IN E-WASTE EFFECT.

to waste anymore. Life and ecosystem will sustain on natural resources and not technology, thus being responsible is a great contribution especially as seniors to the future generation. It’s our duty to not convert a blessing into a curse, by recklessly using it.

E-waste scenario in India E-waste is not sufficiently collected and processed in India because of the prevalent patterns of illegally recycling the e-waste along with other wastes by informal waste pickers called kabadiwalas or raddiwalas. This reduces the potential capacity to extract metals from e-waste and also enhances release of toxic pollutants leading to irreversible consequences. Enforcinge-waste legislation remains a challenge because of unawareness among people regarding the consequences of such ignorance. Not only recycling industry needs to be established but implementation regarding collection, disposal and compliance deficits requires attention. There is a great capacity of job generation in this recycling industry but safety of workers needs to be prioritized before-hand. We also need to invest in technology that are cutting edge and can prove beneficial to the e-waste recycling industry, which not only safeguards the workers safety but at the same time enforces an efficient system of collection and disposal of e-waste. The current regulatory framework needs to integrate the informal sector into the overall system and educational programs should be organized to spread awareness We among people.

Miscarriage And Loss I am that One in Four: LetĘźs Talk about Miscarriage.

am a survivor of child loss. A subject that is very difficult to talk about, but talk we must. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ironic that while on one hand because of the fact that statistically one in every four pregnancies end in loss, and thus we have a tendency to normalize miscarriage whenever the issue is broached upon, on the other hand, there is an unsaid taboo on discussing the same. Before I had to suffer through this personally, I had hardly come across a conversation discussing this and thus could not have envisioned it in even my wildest dreams, and yet when I did discuss it myself, to my surprise many females I knew had borne this pain and suffering bravely at some point of time in their lives. This article is just an effort to highlight why is a dialogue on miscarriage important, and why we should not be doomed to grieve in silence when we could all do so openly and collectively, sharing the pain and remembering our lost angels, irrespective of the whether we are now blessed with our rainbow babies or not.

By Rachna Chhokar

We have a term for a child that loses his/ her parents, called an orphan. We have a term for a person losing its spouse, a widow. But what do we call a person who has lost its child, born or unborn. Why is the English or Hindi language so rich and versatile on covering all modes of expression fail in capturing this grief. Isn’t it peculiar? Even the term we use to depict the sad incident- miscarriage, I have a strong reservation against the usage of this term as if implying that our bodies are defective pieces of equipment that have malfunctioned and thus miscarried. The word only concretizes the guilt trip that we each force upon ourselves subconsciously, working out the numerous permutations and combinations of behavior and lifestyle patterns that could have helped prevent the loss. As if we are not punishing ourselves enough. Post my miscarriage, I came in touch with many women in a support group who had practically started hating their bodies that they believed had failed them. They shared stories of the scars that their miscarriage left on them psychologically, the trauma that they would go through with their subsequent pregnancies afraid with each ultrasound that they would be said the same dreaded four words by the doctor -“There is no heartbeat.”

TOXIC NATIONS OF SOCIETY There is so much grief and pain all bottled up in each of the women who go through miscarriage (this word now being used only semantically for absence of an alternative). We are no doubt thankful for the support we are offered, but all the words of consolation- “it was only 15 weeks” “it was Gods will and you can’t fight it” “atleast you can still get pregnant” etc etc, just fall on our deaf ears, as our hearts are still caught up in the turmoil of the pain and the loss. Each mother’s day is a

THE NOTIONS OF IMPURITY HAVE TRADITIONALLY BEEN LINKED WITH ALL THREE - CHILD BIRTH, MENSTRUATION AND DEATH IN A FAMILY WHERE THE ENTIRE FAMILY OBSERVES A PERIOD OF PURIFICATION AS NO FOOD TO OFFERED TO A DEITY FOR TEN DAYS AFTER CHILD BIRTH (SUTAK PERIOD) OR DEATH IN A FAMILY. challenge as we question our fluid identity as a mother- are we still to be termed a mother or are we not? This situation worsens in the case of the grieving male partners. The expectations imposed by the toxic notions of social masculinity like “mard ko dard nahi hota” ends up making the journey of loss and grief even more trumulous for the husbands who may not themselves have been physically carrying the child yet were equal partners in this dreamy journey of the nine months, bitterly shattered by the crude reality of child loss. It’s thus important that miscarriage is talked about. But now the pertinent question is why is miscarriage a taboo and a hush hush topic? It is perhaps a part of the wider trend in our society Woman’s Era

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where women’s issues have normally taken a back seat. Or perhaps it’s an extension of the unsaid taboo on discussing the matters of the female bodily functions termed as impure like menstruation or child birth. The notions of impurity have traditionally been linked with all three - child birth, menstruation and death in a family where the entire family observes a period of purification as no food to offered to a deity for ten days after child birth (sutak period) or death in a family. The long list of prohibitions on menstruating women in traditional households is only well known. In this situation child loss is a confluence of all three- child birth, loss of blood and death in a family, and hence a taboo. But now it’s time that the taboo is broken and this topic is discussed widely, as it is more than a mere topic, these are tales of survival which are inspirational and should be thus shared. The trauma of child loss should be recognized and professional help by the couple should be sought to overcome it. True the grief can never completely subside. Time does not heal such pain borne out of child loss, but acts as a temporary opiate to help us survive through the days even as the anniversaries of the due date jerks us back into the reality. But living through this grief and recognizing it is important, as this journey travelled together by the couple also makes their bond stronger in We the long run. 109

y t i v i t i s o P How y h t l a e H u o Makes Y

Understanding positive reasoning and self-talk.

By Nidhi Jain

ositive reasoning doesn't imply that you keep your head in the sand and overlook life's less charming circumstances. Positive reasoning just implies that you approach disagreeableness in an increasingly positive and beneficial manner. You think the best will occur, not the most exceedingly awful. Positive reasoning regularly begins with self-talk. Self-talk is the perpetual stream of implicit contemplations that go through your mind. These programmed considerations can be certain or negative. A portion of your self-talk originates from rationale and reason. Other self-talk may emerge from misguided judgments that you make due to absence of data. In the event that the musings that go through your mind are for the most part negative, your point of view is almost certain critical. In the event that your contemplations are for the most part positive, you're likely a hopeful person â&#x20AC;&#x201D; somebody who rehearses constructive reasoning.

Analysts keep on investigating the impacts of positive thinking and good faith on wellbeing. ● Expanded life expectancy ● Lower paces of misery and pain ● More prominent protection from

the basic virus ● Better mental and physical

prosperity ● Better cardiovascular wellbeing and decreased danger of death from cardiovascular illness ● Better adapting abilities during difficulties and times of pressure

Not certain if your self-talk is sure or negative? Some basic types of negative self-talk include: Separating You amplify the negative parts of a circumstance and channel out the entirety of the positive ones. For instance, you had an incredible day at work. You finished your undertakings early and were praised for doing an expedient and intensive activity. That night, you center just on your arrangement to do much more assignments and disregard the commendations you got.

Customizing When something terrible happens, you naturally accuse yourself. For instance, you listen to that a night with companions is dropped, and you expect that the adjustment in plans is on the grounds that nobody needed to associate with you.

Concentrating on positive reasoning You can figure out how to transform negative intuition into positive thinking. The procedure is basic, yet it requires some serious energy and practice — you're making another propensity, all things considered. Here are a few different ways to think and carry on in a progressively positive and hopeful manner:

Recognize zones to change In case that you need to turn out to be progressively idealistic and participate in increasingly positive thinking, first distinguish aspects of your life that you as a rule ponder,

OCCASIONALLY DURING THE DAY, STOP AND ASSESS WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT YOU FIND THAT YOUR CONSIDERATIONS ARE PRINCIPALLY NEGATIVE, ATTEMPT TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT A POSITIVE TURN ON THEM.

regardless of whether it's work, your day by day drive or a relationship. You can begin little by concentrating on one zone to approach in a progressively positive manner.

Check yourself Occasionally during the day, stop and assess what you're thinking. On the off chance that you find that your considerations are principally negative, attempt to figure out how to put a positive turn on them.

Be available to humor Allow you to grin or snicker, particularly during troublesome occasions. Look for humor in ordinary happenings. At the point when you can chuckle at life, you feel less focused.

Follow a sound way of life Plan to practice for around 30 minutes on most days of the week. You can likewise split it up into 10minute pieces of time during the day. Exercise can decidedly influence state of mind and lessen pressure. Follow a solid eating routine to fuel your brain and body. Also, learn strategies to oversee pressure.

Encircle yourself with constructive individuals Ensure those in your life are sure, strong individuals you can rely upon to offer supportive guidance and input. Antagonistic individuals may expand your feeling of anxiety and make you question your capacity to oversee worry in sound manners.

Catastrophizing You naturally envision the most noticeably awful. The drive-through bistro gets your request wrong and you consequently imagine that the remainder of your day will be a calamity.

Polarizing You see things just as either fortunate or unfortunate. There is no center ground. You feel that you must be great or you're an absolute disappointment.

Practice positive self-talk Start by observing one straightforward guideline: Don't utter a word to yourself that you wouldn't state to any other person. Be delicate and empowering with yourself. On the off chance that a negative idea enters your brain, assess it objectively and react with confirmations of what is acceptable about you. Consider things you're grateful for in your life. We

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selected through a known friend of mine and was trained by my husband to look after the affairs of the business. For about a year, the Kochi Branch Incharge worked meticulously, and collected the dues regularly, deposited the proceeds in our accounts, and appeared to be reliable. Casually my husband used to contact all our clients in Tamil Nadu and Kerala to stay in touch and be courteous. At that time one of the Kochi clients had asked my husband “Sir was there any problem with your business recently, as your Kochi Branch Incharge had taken Rs. 50,000 in cash from us stating that there was some immediate financial crunch in your business.” To our surprise, we tried contacting our Kochi Branch Incharge. But how many overtimes we called him his phone number was not in use/not reachable. Then my husband went in person to Kochi and tried to locate him all in vain. We were shocked but this was a lesson for us. Currently, we Woman’s Era

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"NARROWING DIFFERENCES" "Narrowing Differences" Short story, Dec' 20 T explains 'True Friendship' in a few words. With the advancement in technology - FB, Insta, & Twitter one can look out for another by the touch of our fingers ,which was a thing of the past ,those days. "Staying connected'' with old friends firstly by sending a 'Friend request' after a wild search , makes butterflies fly in our stomach until the request is accepted ,as if it decides the future. Accepting and continuing the cordial friendship brings back heirlooms of memories ,which every individual would love to cherish & look back. – Preetha Rengaswamy, Chennai rt y Shotor S

ing Narrownces Differe facebook. T h a n k s to

d an d n o w B e st f r ie n r. The a str a n g e h ysic al m ile s o f p we r e d ista n c e r the g r e at e r o f f ilial p a ssag e o e n e d w id lo v e ha d f at h o m . wh o c o u ld e r in g W ith qu iv ta am M f in g e r s e ‘add p r e sse d th n . tto f r ie n d ’ bu

ago hree years Facebook showed innocuously Trupti Sharma a picture of You May Know’. as ‘People at 5 out of bed Tumbling gingerly held a.m. Mamta with one hand the mobile her eyes while rubbing Was it the with the other. or plain sleep of leftovers disbelief? and now a Best friend miles of The stranger.

By Ritu Khuran

were of physical distance the passage greater or widened who filial love had could fathom. fingers With quivering the ‘add Mamta pressed

held the Mamta gingerly one hand while mobile with the eyes with rubbing her of it the leftovers other. Was disbelief? sleep or plain

With a small friend’ button. down quietly put prayer she lest she awaken the phone who would her husband her early question why with the so morning sojourns becoming mobile were

frequent. day was The whole of chores flurry spent in a tions seemed and conversa vortex of the to dwell on When only one thought. in morning would it be Trupti America? Would respond? wandered Tiny smiles lips as she around Mamta’s wonderful recalled those of growing years sunshine Books, up together.

DIVORCE: ENEMY OF HAPPY FAMILY This is with emy reference n E to the : ce or Div article, Divorce: Enemy of Happy Family by Prabhuling Dandin (WE, December I 2020). Actually, in Western countries the candidates decide their marriage themselves and get out of it when it does not run smoothly. In India, the parents decide their sons/daughters marriage as if the candidates are puppets! Furthermore, in the West most women are economically independent and hence they can't tolerate injustice and torture, so they opt for divorce and easily remarry. In Does Divo

rce destroy

and of sanskar ndia is a land a rich tradition of has It is also culture. It 5000 years. world in more than of the Mahaguru e for known as It is a birthplac be many aspects.in the world, may it many things Education, Maths, Arts, Science, and so on. Yoga, Medicine, to Veda and a human According the life of das, among Upanisha into 4 parts being is dividedasharam (Married these; Grihasth

114

family life?

By Prabhu

ling Dandin

and supreme for important life) is very stage is responsible ent of the because this and developmMahatmas, the growth Saints, Yogis, result of the world. The demons are only a union and even is not this life. Marriage but soul, also. of of two bodies Marriage is a state In general, a person of the to being united as husband and a wife sex ual opposite al and contract by law. in the consensu recognized relationship to the Hindu as a comes it When is termed two religion, marriage hip. It joins scared relationslife so that they can for of ls ion individua i.e. satisfact pursue dharmawithin the limits of institution physical urge n society. The the rules of is a universal institutio of marriage every society. in differ that exists types of marriage There are However, to society. s like from society y, types of marriage Monogam four basic Polyandry, Polygamy, The latest . marriage and Group Marriage this is Gay the edition of in most of which is legalthe world (as of early in countries

contrast most Indian women are housewives. They are not allowed to earn by their husbands and/or inlaws. As a result, Indian women are forced to carry on the marriage in the name of culture. They can't divorce their husbands because they are not economically self dependent. So, if husbands divorce them they need compensation for livlihood. Their age for being employed expires. Again remarrying is difficult because parents decides again this second marriage. Conclusion: Unless both boys and girls are made economically self dependent, they can't divorce easily or remarry. Here, parents of both sides are the greatest hindrance! Thanking you! – Suresh Prasad, Champasari

THE INDIAN DAILY SOAPS The article, The Indian Daily Soaps, by Enakshi J, December 2020,presents a true picture of the present day serials T of the Indian television. The unrealistic content, too much violence and family members plotting against one another is shown in these serials. The storyline is too poor, it can be well twisted and turned as per the popularity graph of a serial. You just cannot imagine watching these daily soaps with family as the hatred among the family members leave a bad impact on the innocent minds of the children. They take to crimes after watching the violence on the television. It is the need of the hour to show something that leaves some positive message for the viewers apart from entertaining them. Time is too precious and people now have learned to spend it wisely. Story of the daily soaps should be akin to reality and it should refresh the tired minds. – Harinder Kaur, Jalandhar The Indian

Daily Soa

Why India

Their s Have Had

Chips.

n Daily SoapEnakshi J By

age of age is the he present Within a span of a go technology. anything can get to few clicks, can whole world r viral and the it. Do you remembe viral know about song went rs Ben’s rap how Kokila the characte Ironically, d to suddenly? more compare But the on-air. were stalked show was to be when their seems daily soaps are the 0trend of now. Gone was lacking lustresubstantial content . times when the television telecast on families are Now, most their cable of the getting rid of because connection

If you ion of content.can one loss/ degradat saying that for might argue cable connection the and hold on to cartoon shows offering the sake of counter by do movies, I would ions. Not only s provide you OTT subscript g platform but also these streamin sment of riches viewing an embarras high-quality is not provide a Plus, there ce. experien ; there are just one platformare a few so many! Herethe Indian points why are not the daily soaps any first choice more:

Woman’s Era

●

February 2021

STOP SPIRALING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS The article,Stop Spiraling Negative A Thoughts by Himshikha Shukla,December 2020, highlights the bad effects of the anxiety along with the valuable tips on managing the vicious cycle of negative thoughts.We all feel anxious at one time or the other but the people suffering from the anxiety disorder lead a miserable life.They constantly live in some unknown fear and imagine it be real.Their best efforts to dispel these negative thoughts fail and they always feel some harm will be done to them.This imaginary dread always keep them in stress and their mental peace is totally ruined.They must follow a few guidelines to stop these stressful thoughts.They can do excercise, listen to music,and get themselves absorbed in a creative work.They can visualise burning their depressing thoughts for ever.They can apply any therapy to get rid from the distressing thoughts but they should never indulge in some foolish ritual to stop these. – Harinder Kaur, Jalandhar Stop Spirali

Negative Ways to stop

Thoughts

an anxiety

spiral. By Himshik

ha Shukla

a feel bad for made you something that it isn’t time, but your entire little bit of have it impact healthy to it cause a domino that day, or have thoughts effect of negative at all. aren’t related catastrophize, you When you things: first, you two outcome; actually do worst possible predict the assume that if this be second, you , you won’t be an outcome transpires and it will able to cope And, as anyone rejection absolute disaster. let a simple about who’s ever thoughts to way in general letter give good enoughinto this not being easy to fall knows, it’s

reaction designed nxiety is a threats. you from to protect you more alert It can make you're But when be and focused. will often anxious, decisions t-freeze' 'fight-fligh narrows and limited to Your vision more creative reactions. to the your you lose access brain. In addition, shallow. parts of your might become happen to breathing have to Anxious moments But they don't to calm everyone. Having strategies can take over. and re-center , whether yourself down difference the make all with an anxiety in you're dealing extra-stressful time an disorder or isn’t that life. The problem

spiral.

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