EDITOR'SNOTE BY M ICHELLE GRANADO I use the word "mothering" as a concept of acting like a mother, in place of or in unity with a mother. The word mothering is teeming with action regarding the raising of children, "mother " being the root and all the "-ings" the branches: loving, caring, sharing, nurturing, protecting, teaching, talking, showing, leading, smiling, crying, engaging, challenging, listening, cooking, cleaning, drawing, dropping, trooping, playing, watching, working, praying, dancing, singing, cheering? being a mother to someone.
Truly our role as women??within our nuclear families, extended families, churches, schools, or our larger community, whether or not we have children??involves mothering.
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INTHISISSUE NEW WRITER Th e Lan gu age of Love
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by Karen Weigner
PERSONAL TESTIMONY Ever yt h in g's Goin g t o Be Ok ay
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by Abby Alderton
HUMOR M ot h er in g Con f ession s
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by Sandy McClaury
POETRY Hear t Son g by Barbara Elkin
INSPIRATION Last in g Im pr ession s by Donna L. Barr | 5 DEDICATION M y M ot h er , M y Fr ien d by Michelle Granado | 12 REFLECTION A M ot h er 's Hear t Def in ed by Wendy Templeton-Stone | 14
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BY DONNA L. BARR Years ago I watched as a mother cat carefully carried her litter of kittens one by one by the scruff of their necks from under our shed where they had been born to beyond the neighbor ?s house and out of view. Occasionally, when in the right place at the right time, we are blessed to witness these precious ?National Geographic? moments that leave a lasting impression on our hearts. Even recently, I witnessed April the Giraffe give birth live before a waiting public who followed her online for months. (Yes, I was one of those!) In nature, females of most species seem to have an innate ability to nurture, teach and protect.
I need not look far to encounter women in various stages of life using their own ?motherly instincts? to make meaningful impressions on younger generations, ?teaching them as they sit in their house, walk by the way, lie down and rise up? (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). Whether an extraordinary high school English teacher and cancer survivor, who has inspired thousands of students to strive for success ,while glorifying God everywhere she goes with a remarkable exuberance that overflows to all she meets, or a single lady in her 50?s, overjoyed with the opportunity the Lord has given her at ?motherhood? as she hosts exchange students, godly women play a vital role in life. Some women have a heart for teens and bolster this vulnerable group with their friendship and love for the Lord. Such was the case with my daughter Ashley, who had a teacher, drama coach and youth leaders who caringly invested in her, giving her some of the best experiences of her life. Moms of blended families face the unique challenge of providing equal time and fair support to all members ,while striving to promote family unity, as my sister and niece are learning to do with their sizable families. Empty nesters master creative
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ways to stay connected with their children and grandchildren as they disperse and develop into independent adults. Through prayers or devotionals at family gatherings, sending emails, cards and verses, or traveling some distance to meet for a celebratory meal, my parents take the opportunity to ?redeem the time? (Ephesians 5:16) and plant seeds of faith. Some of the dearest women in my life are the most mature in age, wisdom and experience. These lady friends are examples of hard work, surprising energy, positive attitudes, and steadfast faith and inspire me to ?keep looking up? to Jesus! One neighbor, a retired public school teacher who still teaches ESL part-time, shares her love for baking with my daughter Rachel. These women are teaching younger women ?good things? just like in Titus 2. Seniors know what?s important and make the strongest of warriors! Through the years we?ve relied on their faithfulness to lift up Rachel in prayer during bouts with recurrent health issues. You see, no matter our stage in life, we can make an impression on the people around us wherever we are! God created us that way as women! An impression is a ?mark or stamp made by pressure?; it requires intentional effort. In big and small ways, each of these women made thoughtful choices that encouraged others. But, although God gives us each different gifts to use, we are part of one body (Romans 12:4-6, I Corinthians 12:12-26). We need not feel insecure that our ?opportunity? or ?gift? looks different from someone else?s; we are all on the same team. God will use some to influence hundreds, while others will be asked to go into the deepest recesses for perhaps just one. No sphere of influence is too small or is too insignificant; remember Jesus Himself came from a little hole in the wall town called Nazareth and changed the world forever! He doesn?t ask for perfection, just faith, and He will equip us to do the work He has called us to do (Philippians 1:6, 2:13). Impacting lives makes a powerful difference that transcends both age and position. What lasting impression will you leave? Will you pray and ask how God is leading you?
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BY KAREN WEIGNER
We are preparing for big changes in our house this year with our two oldest daughters attending colleges far from home. I often find myself contemplating where the moments have gone. How am I the mother of 5 beautiful girls, ages 20,18,15,12 and 6 years old? It seems like just yesterday I was the 20 year old falling head over heels in love with the man these girls call Daddy. One of my favorite Bible verses is now found in Luke 2:19, ?Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart.? I never knew my heart could expand so largely to encompass this type of love. I find myself reminiscing quite frequently over memories I want to ponder and tuck away. It is no surprise that the heart, known to be the sustainer of physical life, has also been used to represent the most powerful human emotion, that of love. I?m currently sitting here at the piano with my six year old. She once again catches my attention as my mind has wandered to times gone by. While we were in the process of adopting our younger girls, I became fascinated with the method of Suzuki music training. If you are unfamiliar with it, the principal behind this method is that a child can learn a musical language just as they learn their mother tongue. When you teach your children to
speak, you don?t use textbooks or flashcards, they learn from your imitation. Children are able to start the piano or violin at a young age, because they aren?t primarily learning by reading music, but by imitation. This concept was fascinating to me, because I certainly wasn?t a qualified educator in languages that could teach our little Koreans how to speak English. They learned what is now their primary language because they were immersed in it every day.
DoI believethat loveisincredibly morepowerful than music? As I sit and play, Twinkle Twinkle with my six year old, I think of the 15 years I have spent at this piano. I listen to the music that pours out of my older children and remember that they started with imitation. As they learned to play the language of music initiated by imitating their Momma, I find myself asking whether they have successfully learned the language of love from me as well. My primary job description should never be about how clean my house is, or how
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Lovemay not look very impressiveon a resume, but totheultimate CEO, GodAlmighty, loveiseverything. successful my children can be, from a worldly standpoint. My primary focus should always be to daily allow Christ to live in me and love through me so that my children can imitate this love to a world so desperately in need of a Redeemer. I listen to my 15 year old play the beautiful music of Chopin and I remember how it all started with Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. As she learned to imitate music on the 88 keys over the years in her daily practice, each lesson was preparing her to play the music of the great composers designed to profoundly affect people. Do I believe that love is incredibly more powerful than music? Do I realize that when I choose to die daily to self and embrace these beautiful souls around me, realizing that with every tear wiped, story book read, late night listening session, homework help, meal cooked, in all these things I
am demonstrating love? Love may not look very impressive on a resume, but to the ultimate CEO, God Almighty, LOVE IS EVERYTHING. My children born in Korea have no recollection of their mother tongue. They haven?t been in an environment to imitate it. That thought runs deep. I pray as these girls go out into the world, the language of love will forever be the primary music of their souls. Inhale and exhale. I start the next piano piece with the littlest one and thank God for His sweet reminders in the ebb and flow of life, reminders of what?s most important. Lord, daily pour out your Spirit within me to love those around me. May I imitate Your love to them, that they in turn will imitate Your love to a world that so desperately needs it.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Karen is a transplanted Canadian who is the mother of five beautiful girls and has been married for 22 years to the love of her life, a chimney sweep named Mark. (She has yet to witness him singing "chim chiminey" on the rooftops). Karen is a homeschool mom who resides over a funny farm which currently includes 26 chickens, two escaping goats named Fred and Ed, a horse, a bunny, two cats and a French bulldog. She is passionate about women knowing who they are in Christ. In her spare time, she loves to lead Bible studies and write about the foundational truths that can be grasped in owning our identities as daughters of the King. She is also passionate about adoption. Two of her daughters were grown "under her heart" and three of them were grown "within her heart", as God orchestrated each of their lives into being with her family. She counts it a privilege to share the creative ways God teaches her daily how to love and be loved in Christ.
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BY ABBY ALDERTON he year was 1993 in Chico, California. My brother had severe asthma and allergies. The doctors told my parents to move somewhere dry. So, they decided to move to Colorado. A brand new city, four little kids, and no friends or family: my mom said that was one of the hardest years of her life. She had to leave her whole world behind to jump blindly into the unknown. But my grandpa told my mom something that has stuck with her ever since: ?Everything is going to be okay.?
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Fast-forward to 2008 in Aurora, Colorado. My pastor had to leave our church and a new pastor was going to come from Minnesota. My old pastor was the only pastor I had ever really known. His family was like family to me. I didn?t want a new pastor or a new pastor ?s family. It was probably the hardest year of my life. My mom reiterated those words to me: ?Everything is going to be okay.? We didn?t know then that the trials of 1993 and 2008 were going to produce so much good. My parents found a wonderful church in Colorado. My brother ?s allergies got better. My dad found a great job. Our family has thrived in Colorado. And the new pastor ?s family? I married the eldest son.
?Everything is going to be okay.? How often do I believe that? Not often enough. My mom still says this to me probably once a month: ?Everything is going to be okay.? Oh, how I need to be reminded of it. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Believing that everything is going to be okay means believing that God is totally in control and that He loves us. It means believing that God?s will is better than our own plans. It?s sometimes so
hard to believe that God really knows what He?s doing when it feels like all of our plans are crumbling. Living with open hands is hard. But living with clenched fists, holding too tightly to our own plans, is even harder. Not trusting God leads only to disappointment and discontentment. The worst years of our lives would not be so bad if we really trusted that God was sovereignly and lovingly reigning over all. Our lives rarely go according to plan. How beautiful it would be if we accepted the changes instead of fighting them. God?s will is always going according to plan. We can rest in the knowledge that His will is happening to us right now, even if our lives aren?t going according to our plan. We can trust that God is in complete control. We can live with open hands because He loves us. God loved us enough to send His Son to die on the cross for our sins and secure for us eternal joy and life. If God did that for our eternal lives, then He can be trusted with our lives this side of Heaven too. He cares about us. His love compels Him to do what is the very best for His children. He is infinitely wise, infinitely loving towards His children. We often cannot understand His wisdom, actions, and reasoning because He?s so beyond us. But He is indeed trustworthy - He proved that on the Cross. At the end of the day, our hope is not in earthly leisure and comfort, but in our eternal security in Him. He is going to make sure that ?everything is going to be okay.?
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WRITTENBY:
SANDYMCCLAURY I have a confession to make. I am a mother and I have no earthly idea what I am doing. I?m not entirely sure who approved this social experiment ? not once but THREE times - but I question their credentials. Who thought this was a good idea? I asked my husband after our second child came along why the instructions weren?t included with either of them. I thought maybe we had just lost them with the first child. Turns out, we aren?t just disorganized ? there really are no instructions. None! I had sort of convinced myself that I had this baby thing down once our third baby came along, but she proved that even if there was a parenting handbook, we?d have to toss it out the window and wing it anyway. I hear that every mother has to do it without a how-to manual but, when I see other moms and how effortless parenting comes to them, I secretly wonder if I missed the orientation assembly. Or the ancient enlightenment ceremony. Will someone please wave some burning branches in my direction? mean, I adore my kids most of the time, but I am not GOOD at this parenting thing. It?s hard. All I have to do is congratulate myself for one of those Pyrrhic victories (like getting everyone out the door, on time, with lunches, and shoes) and I am smacked with uncertainty about my parenting. Am I doing too much for them? Am I expecting too much from them? Am I yelling too much at them? The answer to #3 is always yes, by the way. Did you know that the German word for mother is ?mutter?? Yes. Yes it is. Every day I wonder if the decisions I make are going to produce compassionate, contributing adult members of society or if, when my kids are grown, they will only leave my basement for their weekly visit to a therapist?s couch. The fear is real. What is the right balance? I want to put on
my armor and slay all the dragons for them ,but I know there is so much they have to learn for themselves. And that includes pain. Not just a knee scrape owie, but the pain of disappointment, of lost friendships and love gone bad. When even the knee scrape leaves a gouge in my soul ? how do I keep from being their smother? And then they will leave! What?!? See, the thing is, once you become a mother, you?re never NOT a mother. Even if you don?t know what you?re doing, you?re probably doing just fine. I guess I have to do what mothers have been doing since time began ?figure it out as I go. Because there is someone (or someones) counting on me to get it right. Or, let?s be honest, as ?right? as I can. The other night, even as I was questioning when someone was going to ring the doorbell and demand I relinquish my mommy card, I got a big smile and a little thrill when my youngest said, ?When I grow up, I want to be a mommy just like you!? Awwww. Have you thought about quantum physics? There?s a book for that?
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M y mother, M y friend
BY M ICHELLE GRANADO My mother was not perfect ? none of us are? but I saw her live out a life of love and faith before my eyes, from the time I was a child to the day she passed away. My mother took people in to live with us, as they experienced struggles. She was a listening ear to someone needing a friend. She was a good listener,a woman of few words,who spoke with wisdom. My first memory of charity is, my mom and I taking loaves of bread to a convent that housed the poor and elderly and then going to church to pray.
My mother was a friend to me, someone I could talk to about the good things and the bad things in my life. She was someone I could share my struggles with, because she had a frame of reference for it. Some of it she had experienced personally, other things she had counseled a friend or family member through, at some point in their lives. I always felt my mother 's love for me and I always loved her. I remember her visits to England, when we lived there. She loved the street markets. One particular street market that we would visit, in Walthamstow, East London, was a long, bustling road filled with vendors of vegetables and fruit, knick knacks, clothing and jewelry.
My mom would see something she liked at the very first vendor, but would want to compare the prices, so we would walk the entire market, talking and laughing as we went, about life and such. At the very last stall, my mom would say, "I think I would like to get that..." referring to whatever thing she had seen way back there ,at the first stall. So we would inevitably walk back up to the top of the market to buy it. I got her though,it was not just that she could not make up her mind,it was that she was enjoying the time we spent together and was prolonging it just a little. She did exactly the same thing when we would visit the H Marts here in Colorado. She shared my triumphs and victories, but she was also the one I related to in the darkest season of my life, while I was navigating through a tempest, in my marriage and my life in general. It was my mom who gave me the five Psalms to read, that started me on this journey of loving the Word and seeking God. I began to recognize my insufficiency and leaned into the sufficiency of God. I have tried to model her strength in my own life. She experienced many trials and difficulties, but through her dependence on God and a resounding attitude of "this too shall pass" she continued to move forward. My mother made great sacrifices for her family, and the education of her children was important to her, so she invested in private Catholic education for most of her children to high school
level because she knew that a strong foundation was important for further education. Her children have continued to build on that foundation first in their own lives and then in the lives of their children. It's been nearly four years since she passed, but the legacy of her love and prayer has brought me through the years of grieving.Family was such a big part of her heart; she loved having her children and grandchildren around her. It is her love that enabled my siblings and I to determine to go through the storm of her passing in prayer,together.
With the loss of my mother my life has profoundly changed. It will truly, never be the same. I lost a part of myself at her passing. Her love for me mirrored most closely the love that I feel from God? unconditional. Once, the love of my mother was felt in my proximity to her. Now, I carry it in my heart.
Mom, I love you! miss you and I will forever hold you in my heart.
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AMOTHER'SHEART DEFINED When I think of a mother ?s heart, I think of descriptive words like gentle, compassionate, tender, nurturing. I think of a softness and graciousness towards her children (and others) ? an ability to truly love. In contemplating a mother ?s heart I think of an overwhelming sense of pride when she thinks about her children. She celebrates them and rejoices over them. A mother ?s heart wants the best for her children. She recognizes when discipline is needed and is willing to allow them to experience the consequences of their choices and actions even though this may cause her to experience sadness and grief. A mother ?s heart calls her to action to defend and fight for her children. A mother ?s heart is simply a reflection of our Heavenly Father ?s heart. It is the overflowing of His gentleness, compassion, tenderness, nurture, softness, graciousness and passionate love that He pours into His children. Zephaniah 3:17 tells us of our Heavenly Father ?s quiet love and joyous rejoicing over His children. ?The Lord your God is
in your midst, a victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.? As a Victorious Warrior, this scripture connects The Father ?s heart to a mother ?s heart in the battles a mother is willing to step into in order to defend her children ? like a Mama Bear protecting her cubs, triumphing victoriously for her children just as God does for His children. His loving discipline is addressed in Hebrews 12:6. ?For the Lord disciplines the one He loves and chastises every son whom He receives.? God?s compassion is found throughout Scripture. In chapter 9 of the book of Nehemiah alone, God?s compassion is affirmed six different times. Verse 17 speaks to His grace, forgiveness, and lovingkindness as well. ?But You are a God of forgiveness, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness; And You did not forsake them.? Does this describe a mother ?s heart or what? 1 John 4:8 tells us that God IS love. It also
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addresses the reason that some mothers may struggle in allowing a mother ?s heart to be manifest in them. ?The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.? It is only in experiencing God, who is love, that we can truly love others. The word ?know? in the above scripture is the experiential knowing, not just knowing about God. It?s receiving His love through intimate relationship and allowing it to minister healing and freedom to our souls. In truly knowing God, love can freely flow in AND through us. We become one with His nature of love and thus His gentle, compassionate, tender, nurturing, soft, gracious nature flows from us to others as we allow His Presence and all that He is to emanate from us. Like Him, we rejoice over, celebrate and defend our children and others. Who He is in us and what He does for us, He also is and does through us for others. A mother ?s heart comes from our Father ?s heart.
BYWENDYTEMPLETON- STONE Wendy is a missionary serving as a discipleship counselor and teacher for Exchanged Life Ministries, a non-profit, non-denominational counseling, discipleship and counselor-training center. We offer Christ-centered, Biblical solutions for people who are hurting, and training for those who have been called to help others.
HEARTSONG BY BARBARA ELKIN
You r Fat h er n am ed you Beau t if u l. For you ar e His deligh t . He com poses t u n es of joy t o you . You 'r e r adian t in His sigh t . Even you r in n er beau t y spar k les, High ligh t in g His Holy Spir it . Th e m elody He placed in you Is His, an d He can h ear it . Am on g His t r easu r es you 'r e pu r e gold, Sh ow piece am idst His jew els. He polish ed you f or His k in gdom , An d r ef in ed you w it h His t ools. At t im es He bat h ed you w it h lif e's t ear s, Th en h eld you in His ar m s. As t h ese t r ials m ade you m or e pr eciou s He en dow ed you w it h m or e ch ar m s. Sw eet dau gh t er of t h e M ost High God, You br in g You r Fat h er glor y. Th e w on dr ou s m u sic of His h ear t He w eaves t h r ou gh ou t you r st or y. You play t h e gr ace n ot es in His scor e Ju st w h er e each on e belon gs. Dear Beau t if u l, play on in love, For you ar e God's h ear t son g.