A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR @WOMENOFMORE
WAKING UP EARLY As a little girl, I was privileged to see my parents and grandparents wake up early to start their day with prayer, preparation for work, and then heading off to the farm. I always wondered how they were able to do this without complaining. As a woman, I now realize setting my day in motion early gives me leverage and more time for other things in the latter part of the day. It also gives me control over my day. Could it be that we are frantic, stressed, frustrated or overwhelmed because we haven’t handled our preparation for today or tomorrow with a clear focus of purpose, that we don’t value what a new day brings, or that we have trained ourselves to overlook the gift of a new day? Psalms 114:24 AMP says, “This day in which God has saved me is the day which the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” I can rejoice in knowing I was saved from my yesterday and I am glad because I get another opportunity to enjoy the life God gave me. When you wake to a new day, be sure to take the time to plan the day and to rejoice and be glad in it.
When I was in elementary school, there were times when we would take standardized tests. On the test, I remember a section where we had to predict what the next object would be, based on the pattern we were seeing. So, for example, if the pattern was XXX0XXX0XX_, we would have to predict what would come next. Do you remember those questions? The answer here is obviously X. You were probably able to predict the answer based on the pattern you saw. Celebrities are often advised to be wary of patterns, such as going to the same coffee shop every day, staying at the same hotels, or even taking the same route to a specific destination. Why? If someone wants to hurt them, it’s easy to predict their whereabouts if they have identifiable patterns of behavior. Do you have patterns that make you vulnerable to unwanted harm? Like drinking excessively every time you get stressed, calling that man you said you were done with when you feel lonely, consistently choosing toxic friends, or maybe you are the person who always has to be in a relationship. No, none of these? Well, maybe you have a pattern of self-sabotage, isolating yourself during difficult times, shopping when you’re depressed or sad, or maybe it’s walking out on relationships when they get hard.
I recently found myself going through a situation that was causing me a bit of stress. In the past, I would respond to stress with several glasses of a tequila-filled cocktail and drink until I was drunk. It was a problem. I used alcohol as the escape from the issues of life. When this particular stressor hit, my brain recognized the trigger and wanted to revert to a common pattern. I knew that the purpose of the drink was to give me a false sense of relief, and in order to ensure I didn’t fall back into toxic habits, I had to interrupt the pattern. What does that mean? Do something different. When you have trained yourself over the course of many years to respond to specific triggers in a repeated way, that pattern becomes a habit. To break the patterned habit, you have to acknowledge that it exists, as well as the negative impact that it has in your life. Once you have owned it, you must decide to interrupt it. Make a conscious decision to stay in a state of awareness regarding your feelings, triggers, and responses. Identify those moments when they occur and choose to react differently. In choosing a new way of doing things, you interrupt your usual response and begin breaking the pattern. It isn’t easy because your mind will still think about what it’s been programmed to do in response to the situation. Don’t give up though. The more you exercise the new response, the more your mind will begin to see it as the new normal. So, let the interruption begin, so you can break free.
DON'T
PARDON MY INTERRUPTION BY SHAUNDYLL ROGERS
FALL
with
CHAOS BY SIOBHAN THOMAS
Without sounding like a total cliché, fall is my favorite season. It gives me the chance to be the opposite of a cliche, the lack of original thought. This is the time of year when your layers are endless, and you can build textures upon textures. I’ve been asked, “How do you get ready for the fall?" I simply say “One layer at a time.” The first thing I do is assess my wardrobe from the season that just passed. Getting rid of pieces that I never wore, pieces that I vowed never to wear again and those pieces that went out with the trend. After performing my holistic cleanse, I pull out my fall wardrobe and repeat the same process. I slowly introduce fall pieces into my everyday looks, like I’m getting familiar with my fall wardrobe again.
This may be wearing a blazer on a cool evening or a short boot with a pair of my favorite cut-off shorts along with fall accessories such as a wide brim hat or silk scarf. I always feel that with fashion there is a small margin in getting it wrong. Fashion is about creativity. You determine your own sense of style (SOS) by adding layers or including his accessories into your everyday wardrobe. My classic fall look is always finished with a blazer. From oversized sweaters tucked in leather to his button-down draped off one shoulder, layers are a great way to build a look. Building layers gives definition to a simple straight cut design -not to mention you can create interchangeable outfits seamlessly. ChaosGirls, make sure to give the same attention you give your wardrobe to your fall/winter beauty regimen. You have to change your beauty products with the change of season. Our hair and skin also need adjusting. Between the Uber driver cranking up the heat to stay warm due to the revolving door and you keeping the thermostat set at “summer vacation,” our skin and hair will need some help. The same thing goes for cold exposure, too. I replace my lighter moisturizers for something heavier during the winter. I increase my hair mask treatments and water intake. Don’t forget to update your makeup with the changing seasons as well. Get ready for all inside and out!
CONNECT WITH SIOBHAN WWW.HERCHAOSGIRL.STYLE HERCHAOSGIRL
PARTY4ONE
she's healthy by Dr. Cozette M. White Many studies emphasize the health benefits that come with being in a relationship; however, few discuss the positive effects being single can have on your health. Here are a few ways you can become healthier by sustaining your relationship independence. YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM IS BIGGER People in relationships need to have a partner who encourages and supports them; but, single individuals are inclined to having an entire team of cheerleaders. A 2015 research study discovered that single people do not only have a close-knit group of family and friends to get in touch with, but are more likely to obtain assistance and support from that network compared to people who are in a relationship. YOUR FINANCIAL STRESS IS LESS When you are single, it might signify that your social and financial freedom is greater. A study from Debt.com indicates it is less likely for single people to have credit card debt, with 21% of singles, 27% of married couples without kids, and 36% of married couples with kids having credit card debt. Financial debt can affect your health greatly and put you in increased danger of suffering strokes, high blood pressure, and heart attacks. Therefore, it is wise to reduce both stress and debt.
YOUR SLEEPING PATTERN IMPROVES If you do not have a partner to snuggle up to, don’t worry! When you are not dealing with a sleep kicker or a blanket hog, your comfort increases and you can gain a lot of health benefits. An Amerisleep survey discovered that among the people who took part, single individuals slept better compared to people in satisfying relationships. Sleeping well at night can present several health benefits like better mood and focus, and can make your body function more effectively. YOU EXERCISE MORE True, couples go to social media to discuss their relationships; however, you can also feel great when you post a selfie while at the gym! According to one study, singles are going to the gym in higher numbers compared to married people. The research also indicated that single male individuals worked out almost double the time married men do. YOU CREATE YOUR SCHEDULE When you are in a serious partnership, you need to consider the other party’s schedule. It might entail having dinner late when they experience a rough day at work or having to miss going to your buddy’s birthday party to attend their sister’s wedding. However, single people set their own schedules. Also, people who have structured schedules gain more joy and productivity.
You Can Solve Your Issues On Your Own Your single status can grow you into a stronger person. It can assist you to solve your issues more easily. Single people gain experience solving issues on their own or with the help of friends. Therefore, when new problems arise, they know how to deal with them. It provides a feeling of assurance when things are difficult.
Dr. Cozette M. White is an acclaimed bestselling author, nationally recognized finance and tax resolution strategist, and international speaker. White transitioned from welfare to winning after overcoming her incredible journey of survival and recovery from domestic abuse. As a result, she empowers her clients to ditch debt and develop a plan to create the kind of wealth that leaves a secure financial legacy. Because of her tenacity, her clients have coined her “Your Financial Physician.”
take control of the game. don't let the game control YOU.
M I C H E L L E
W A S H I N G T O N
IT'S WHO WE BECOME WHEN CHANGE HAPPENS BY DARIETH CHISOLM AUTHOR, SPEAKER, COACH, ACTIVIST & FILMMAKER
There is one guarantee you need no one to make you. Change is coming. It's inevitable, it's certain, it's consistent, and whether you want it or not, you will experience it. Change can bring a lot of wonderful, beautiful and terrific things in your life. We all know it can also trigger you and send you spiraling into desperation and despair. Change is like a coin, there are two sides, and depending on the flip and which side lands face up, your outcome could be drastically different. Sometimes we prepare to face change head-on, and like preparing for a wedding, we work to ensure every T is crossed, I is dotted, and nothing's left to chance. And then there are times when change comes barreling into our lives from left field, drop kicking our carefully laid plans and forcing us to question everything, leaving us further confused and dismayed. No one is immune, and no one gets to escape freely. Here's another constant. You can embrace change. When sudden, unwieldy and frantic change starts to invade your world you can face it head-on, conquer it and use it for your greatest ally and greatest gift.
Imagine yourself going with the flow, letting go of the wheel and letting change lead the way. Choose to see change as a catalyst lighting the fuse that propels you into the next place that can be an entirely stunning new way of being and experience. Those new experiences could look like a new relationship, a new job, a new passion, a new purpose. Change could bring you the opportunity to create new spaces, a new place to live, a new hobby, a new appreciation for life, a new way of thinking and a new opportunity. Because change is inevitable, you can stop trying to keep it at bay. You're off the hook; you can just go on the ride and know that this could be a new journey of selfdiscovery. The next time change takes you on a roller coaster ride or a path down some lonely, dark road, let these two statements be your navigational voice assistant, "everything is temporary" and" this too shall pass."
You can also remember that you have already survived change; you got through something in the past, and you can get through this next battle with change, too. Every time I feel the angst of what change does to me physically and emotionally, that tightening grip of confusion and sometimes hysteria in the pit of my belly and along my cringing jawline, I do three things. Try them for yourself. 1. Meditate, breathe deeply, relax and allow yourself to think of something entirely different to focus on -anything that feels good and takes your mind off of what's worrying you. 2. Appreciate everything, even the smallest things, and begin flooding gratitude to everything in your life. 3. Choose to redefine yourself by asking, "Who do I need to become?" Allow your mind to come up with positive solutions to that question. These three small steps help me to pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again before the next set of change comes barreling into my life.
www.DariethChisolm.com www.50ShadesofSilence.com Photographer: Matt Shuck Hair: Trey Brown Makeup: Becca Carl Credit: All for Her Event, Washington, PA
CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO WATCH https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19RhzVlP4dk&feature=youtu.be
DR. SONJA STRIBLING
There is no better time to be a woman than at this very moment. A woman who wins in life, career and business. But knowing the POWER you have as a woman is the most important key. For Power stands for Possibilities, Opportunity, Wealth and Worth, Excellence and Responsibilities. If you know your POWER, it will be the difference between having an ordinary life and an extraordinary life. WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO MOTIVATE, INSPIRE AND EMPOWER WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD? Trust the process and know you can have it all - the fulfilled life, the loving relationship, and the booming business. However, to have the life you desire and deserve you must be okay with making sacrifices. Sacrifices of your time, money, and or relationships. Your Next Level is going to cost you something! YOUR NEXT LEVEL IS GOING TO COST YOU SOMETHING! GET MY 3 SECRETS TO WIN IN LIFE AND BUSINESS AT WWW.DRSONJAFREEGIFT.COM.
WHO IS DR. SONJA STRIBLING? I am a Woman of MORE for sure! A woman who has experienced so much in life. Lots of trauma and pain, however, knew there had to be MORE to life than what I was dealt. I am a woman who understands she is a Game Changeher. A woman who knows her POWER! A woman who dreams of leaving her footprint on this world. A woman who wants to leave a legacy for her boys and their children's children. A woman whose life journey has helped thousands of women hope for more. A woman who has taught other women they can have anything they want if they work SMARTER because working harder is no longer enough. I am the 12th child born to Ruby & Oscar Davis, a mother with a 3rd grade education and a father that left before I was 3 years old. I am also: What some would call a statistic - a baby having a baby at 15 years old A 17 year old who was raped and left for dead An unprepared wife at 22 An Army and Combat Veteran having served 21 years - 3 combat tours to fight on foreign land to include Iraq for 15 months (Army Veteran and Combat Veteran) A divorcee after 18 years of marriage A woman who suffered from depression and considered suicide, but who chose life because of her sons A recipient of the Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award
HOW DO YOU REMAIN RELEVANT IN A COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT? As one of the most sought-after Motivational Speakers and Life and Business Coaches, I've learned a few things about how to stay relevant in a competitive environment. 1. Being transparent connects you to those you are assigned to empower to their next level. Society gives us so much fluff. People are in search of the truth and people who can lead them to a better life and life-style.
2. Knowing that I am not for everyone! Just being who I was called and born to be is enough. No need to try to be like Oprah, Iyanla Vanzant or Lisa Nichols or anyone who may be an inspiration to others. 3. Investing in my business at levels that would scare others. Many want to have a billion-dollar company, but many are too afraid of the sacrifices necessary to operate emotionally, spiritually and financiallyat that level.. 4. Lastly, knowing I have a special skill in teaching women how to use their life experience and knowledge to build a Six or Seven Figure Business online while having a fulfilled life. Because I have lived it. I went from being being on my couch three years ago ready to commit suicide to operating a multimillion dollar business coaching firm and a talk show host on Bravo TV.
HOW DO YOU OVERCOME CHALLENGES IN YOUR PERSONAL LIFE AND CAREER? I have had many challenges in my life. Many that left me disappointed and questioning my worth. I had to learn that everything bad that happens doesn’t always mean that life is over, and you have failed. It could just be an important lesson you are supposed to learn and apply it to your life and be better because of it. I overcame my challenges in life by: 1. Asking these two questions: a. What was I supposed to learn from this? b. Can I use this to help me to the next level and help someone else get to their next level? 2. Understanding that negative thoughts will keep you in a place where you can't grow. Therefore, I choose to have a positive mindset no matter the situation. Mindset wins battles! 3. Envisioning what I want in my mind first, then doing the work to make it happen. 4. Remembering that challenges are good for helping you grow into something bigger and better.
HOW WOULD YOU DEFINE A WOMAN OF MORE? A woman of more is a woman who knows there is more to life than being her husband’s wife and her children's mother. Please don’t misunderstand; being a wife and a mother are great, however, a Woman of More wants more. She wants to be a Game ChangeHer!
Find Emojis, Win Free Stuff: Is the Suprize App Too Good to be True? BY STEPHANIE HUMPHREY
Most of the time, the old saying “if it looks too good to be true, it probably is” is usually right on point. But in the case of the Suprize app, getting free swag just for being able to quickly find emojis may be a profitable diversion. The two anonymous creators of the app are rumored to be affiliated with celebrities like Drake, Justin Bieber, and Ariana Grande – but they’re definitely linked to the high-end brands that supply the prizes, including Yeezy Boost, Supreme, and Gucci. With a tagline promising that you can ‘win sick sh!t daily’, the makeup, concert tickets, shoes, and other potential prizes do not disappoint. Here’s how you play: once you download the app from the App Store or Google Play Store, you enter your phone number and confirm your account with a confirmation code sent to you via text. When you open the app, you’ll see a countdown timer to the next prize giveaway and you can watch an ad to get a hint about what the prize will be. This is helpful because with 3 to 7 giveaways per day and a rule that you can only win once every 72 hours, you’ll want to choose which games you play carefully.
When it’s time to play, you’ll be presented with a grid of emojis with one of them being different from the rest. Find the “wrong” emoji and move on to the second and third grids. Whoever gets through the three grids fastest wins the prize. If you win, you’ll be taken to a screen where you can enter your address to get your prize in the mail. Sounds simple right? Well, I’ve played multiple times now, and my LASIK-assisted vision has struggled to find the wrong emoji in a timely fashion (you get 60 seconds total to find all the emoji). Still, like HQ Trivia before it, Suprize is a fun distraction that lets you play against lots of other people in real time with the promise of a legitimate prize if you win. Download free for iOS or Android and be sure to turn on the notifications – maybe you’ll have better luck than me! Follow Stephanie Humphrey on Instagram @techlifesteph.
for CHANGE BY CARLEEN ELISA
Life. It comes with certain guarantees. Change is one of them. Everything and everyone changes; absolutely nothing stays the same. It’s by design, a part of God’s unique plan. Nature demonstrates it best. Each and every year the seasons change, and while their scheduled arrivals and departures are predictable - spring in March, summer in June, fall in September and winter in December – it’s almost impossible to predict how each season in any given year will unfold. The same thing could be said for our lives. We all experience predictable changes – age and physique, health and well-being, careers and finances, relationships and family. Some changes are exciting and reposition us to a better place. Others come unexpectedly and deplete and rob us of the ability to move forward. Yet, we can learn to navigate through seasons of change by preparing for the ones we know are coming and managing the unexpected arrivals. One approach is to start with the end in mind. Determine where you want to go in each season of your life and create a plan that gets you there. Napoleon Hill, author of “Think and Grow Rich” said, “plan your work and work your plan.” It is easier to navigate unexpected changes when you have a well-developed plan already in place. So, when the unexpected occurs, you can “stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach,” as advised by motivational guru, Tony Robbins.
For instance, retirement is a season we all should see coming. It’s a major life change. Many people, however, have not created a financial plan. They think retirement is so far off in the future that they have time to get ready, but life can produce unexpected changes – something many senior citizens who find themselves still in the workforce are experiencing today. As a matter of fact, "nearly half of families have no retirement account savings at all," according to the Economic Policy Institute. So, if any unexpected change arises, their lack of planning could lead to very difficult times. You see, sometimes we live as if we are unaware that change will come, but the reality is, change is inevitable. It is a constant, so we must endeavor to live our lives prepared for the changes that lie ahead. Another approach is to empower yourself with information. Cathy Hughes, the founder and chairperson of Urban One, Inc., penned her mantra, “information is power.” Information equips you to make informed decisions. You can navigate change with confidence when you know the relevant facts and stakes. “Change is the end result of all true learning,” according to author and motivational speaker, Dr. Leo Buscaglia. By consuming information, you change and grow. Finally, change the way you think about change. So often people are afraid of change and to change. They run away from it rather than embrace it, but change is a gift. It empowers you to try something new, to reset and transform. It isn’t always easy, but nothing worth having is.
CHANGING FACES WRITTEN BY JENNIFER YVETTE
So many tears, so much heartbreak. So many tests, so many trials. So many losses, and so many tragedies. Yes, this is a brief yet accurate synopsis of how I viewed my life once upon a time. For so many years I had been taken through too much by too many. I had been the prey of charming and conniving men who saw the opportunity to disguise abuse with love, and to take my mind and body into places that I didn’t wish to be. I continued to find myself with different men but in the same situation - HEARTBREAK. I had begun to think that everything that I was going through was the “norm,” so I made excuses for and to myself. One day, something went off within me. It was a numbing pain but one that was hard to ignore. I had knots in my stomach and tears in my eyes. I was washing my hands and looked up into the mirror to see a person that I no longer knew and didn’t like. I was able to finally see what all of the friends and family I had isolated myself from had once seen and spoke on. Now I was able to realize that it wasn’t them that I didn’t like but the truth that they spoke. With a chuckle and a grim smirk on my face, I dried my hands and told myself, “I don’t love YOU! Yeah, YOU the person that I am looking at, RIGHT NOW, you have got to go. You can’t stay here anymore.” Turning around to face the trash, I not only disposed of that used up paper, I also threw away the pity, the self-doubt, and the fear of being BETTER! I walked out of the bathroom knowing that, unlike that paper towel, I was able to be used for more, and this time it would be lifechanging, for HIS GLORY, and for MY GOOD! Later that night, I wrote a plan for my life; a list of things that I wanted and needed to do for me. The first was knowing that I had a thirst for knowledge and more importantly God. I would read my word without being told and found myself in the same pew of the same church more Sundays than in my bed sulking. CONNECT WITH JENNIFER The messages and the long talks that I was engaging in JENNIFERYVETTE were sound, and they felt different. I was being revived JYEMODELONAMISSION and restored, and I knew that redemption was coming. I owed myself something, and I knew that with God I would certainly get it, AND MORE. And just like that, I was living my best life. The mask was off, I could breathe, and I was living!
Even though I walk through the [sunless] [a]valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort and console me.
P S A L M
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A M P L I F I E D
DR.
SHANA D. LEWIS
PHOTO CREDIT | FERRELL PHELPS
HOW DO YOU REMAIN RELEVANT IN A DEMANDING WORLD?
PHOTO CREDIT | FERRELL PHELPS
HOW WOULD YOU DEFINE A WOMAN OF MORE?
A Woman of MORE is a woman who gives her all, as she is a servant. She is a woman who is willing to do work that others aren’t to get results that others won’t. A Woman of MORE is a woman who is genuinely and authentically herself without apology. You see, she is clear about where she came from which puts her on the path to where she is going. She doesn’t allow fear to stop her. Instead, it informs her that she needs to pay attention to something. She isn’t afraid to celebrate others along her journey as she realizes that we are better together than we are alone. A Woman of MORE is convinced of her own self-worth, value, and purpose in this world. She doesn’t look to others to define her; she looks for her reflection in others to ensure she is living authentically. A Woman of MORE loves those around her completely as she pours all of who she is into them. She is intentional about how she spends her time and energy, engaging in positive and uplifting things instead of being caught in the trap of activities fostering low-level thinking. A Woman of MORE is a woman to be proud of, look up to, respect, and cherish. She is a gem in your family, in your community, and in your world! HOW DO YOU HANDLE THE CHALLENGES IN YOUR ARENA?
In my world, as a motivational speaker, coach, therapist, and advocate, challenges are plentiful, and solutions are limited at times. The level of energy that it takes to do this work is unreal. I am often simultaneously pulled in numerous directions. The key to handling this level of stress for me is two-fold. First I must operate inside of my system. When my system is broken or off, then I am off. When I work inside of the system that I’ve created, I win every time. This includes scheduling, prioritizing, and delegating tasks as needed. Secondly, I must make time to take care of me. There’s no challenge I can’t face, but if I am running on empty because I haven’t engaged in self-care, I am unable to meet even the simplest challenge. I purposefully take time to do me, even if it’s just for 15-20 minutes a day. This might include reading a book, watching a favorite show, eating my favorite popcorn, listening to music or a podcast, or just meditating quietly. Sometimes others don’t understand this, but I do it without guilt or apology because it is my duty to take care of myself so that I can then do the work that I have been called to do. You cannot pour water from an empty cup ladies, so we must fill ours first.
Relevance to me means doing what is expedient and necessary for those that I serve. In order for me to remain relevant, I must listen to those I am called to help. This means I cannot assume that I know what others need. I must ask. To do this, I spend a great amount of time being connected to those in my tribe thru social media, live events, online events, email, or by phone. I never think that I am above reaching out to those who I am destined to serve. I once reached out to a woman on social media just to ask how her day was going and she wrote me back and said that she was so surprised that I reached out to her because she was just a nobody! I immediately set that straight as we are all somebody trying to figure out this thing called life. So, my humility makes me human enough that I can connect and remain relevant. If I can’t hear what your needs are, then there is no way for me to meet them. Sometimes we just need to slow things down a bit, hush and hear what the people are saying. This is the only way to deliver what they actually need and remain relevant. WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO INSPIRE WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD ABOUT BEING A WOMAN OF MORE?
The best advice I can give to women is to be genuinely and authentically yourself without guilt or apology. I will never apologize for being me, and if anyone in my life ever asks me to be otherwise, they owe me the apology. So many times we bend and flex for others only to dismiss who we really are or what we really want as we try to fit into someone else’s vision for our life. Timeout for that ladies! Instead, be a Woman of MORE. Stand in your Whoness, as I call it, and be exactly who you are today, so you can become you want to be tomorrow. Life is simply a journey. We never actually arrive anywhere; we are always on our way. We have pit stops along the way, some good, some bad; but they are all making us better in the end. So, stand tall ladies; honor who you are and whose you are so that you can do the work that you’ve been called to do.
AS WOMEN, WHAT SHOULD WE BE PAYING ATTENTION TO FOR THE DURATION OF 2018 MOVING INTO 2019?
There is so much going on in the world around us that it is easy to get caught up in trends and what this one is doing and what that one is doing. In my opinion, all of these things are merely distractions. Focusing on them will only keep us confused and stuck in the space that we are in. I believe, in this last quarter of the year, we need to be focused on the calling placed on our own lives to serve others and ensuring that we have a system and plan in place to make it happen. You’ve heard the saying, “We don’t plan to fail but rather we fail to plan.” It applies here. We all need a goal sheet for the next 90 days to ensure that we are on track and on target to create the biggest wins for the end of the year. The only way to come in strong is to start the race with a plan. Visit me online at www.drshanadlewis.com for a free goal sheet for your last quarter of 2018. The only way to be successful is to have specific goals in place that will direct your steps. Without this plan, you are just aimlessly walking around bumping into things because you have no clarity about what you’re doing or where you are going.
dr. shana d. lewis
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HERCHAOS FAVORITE THINGS BY SIOBHAN THOMAS HERCHAOSGIRL
I live for oversized sweatshirts. Off the shoulder is my signature. I love pairing with skinny jeans, a leather skirt or cut-off shorts and boots. Goodfellow & Co Crew Neck Sweatshirt $14.99 www.target.com
s o a h C r e H
His details, her style! Goodfellow & Co makes the best lightweight henley. I love to bring a feminine look to such a masculine shirt.
Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate! Not only do I pull out the heavy hitters with my fall fashions, I make sure to do the same with my beauty squad. To keep my skin hydrated all over, I add a few drops of “My Bare Skin” into my body lotion. Your skin will thank you. Be sure to use my special code HERCHAOSGIRL15 to receive 15% off your first purchase.
Men's Long Sleeve Henley $12.99 www.target.com
My Bare Skin Facial Oil $27 www.vanabody.com
My famous Zara rockstar boots never let me down. These are the first thing I grab once the weather starts to break, perfect for the first fall night. Flat Embossed Ankle Boots *(2yrs old) www.zara.com/us
www.DRSONJA.com
10 THINGS I LEARNED IN THE
Since I started working in the events and entertainment industry 5 years ago, my life has been nothing short of an adventure! I get to travel, meet new people, stay at expensive hotels, attend fun events, and get paid for doing it! However, there are so many things that go on behind the scenes. As a Christian woman, I had to really focus on staying holy while at work! Drugs, sex and money, are just a few temptations glorified in this business. From a work perspective, here are the top 10 things I’ve learned so far.
1. All managers can’t lead! Some managers play the blame game when things aren’t done right. Some are scared to delegate because they don’t want you to learn how to do their job. 2. Don’t burn any bridges because everyone knows someone you’ve worked with in the past, and you might run into the same person in the future. 3. Don’t expect celebrities to be nice to you because you are working “with” them. You are actually working “for” them.” When you are working is not the time to be a fan! 4. Title means absolutely nothing if you aren’t doing your job. Know your role! 5. Be confident that you can do the job you were hired to do. Don’t let your age discourage you. If people don’t respect you, do your best and prove them wrong.
EVENTS & ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY BY MALANA J
6. This is still a male dominated industry when it comes to decision makers. Some men don’t like women in management positions. 7. If you value having free time and want to be your own boss… freelance is the way for you to go. Most freelance jobs pay more than staff positions. 8. Having a good pressure threshold will come in handy. Don’t say you work well under pressure on your resume and in the interview just because it sounds good. If you have never been under significant pressure, you truly don’t know. Trust me, the truth always comes out in the end. If you can’t handle people yelling and cursing at you on a regular basis because that is the way they handle stress, you might have to re-think your career path. 9. Sleep? What’s that?! Caffeine will be your new best friend. Twenty-hour work days are common. Some production companies expect you to be available by phone or email 24/7/365! 10. People will look down on you and say things like “you know nothing!” Don’t let it offend you. If you really knew nothing, they would not have hired you. Having rough skin is a must if you are going to survive! Go cry in the bathroom, then get back to work. Here are few bonus tips for you: Don’t let bad people corrupt your character. No matter what, keep your peace and don’t give up. If you are called to be in this business, do it… but stay true to you!
Have you ever gotten quiet enough to hear your spirit speak to you? To reflect on what life has given you and what you have given life? To allow the weight to lift off you so you can feel what is inside of you? If you haven’t, you should. If you have, you know how intensely those dormant feelings can rush over you and cause you to reassess your life. So, girlfriend let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about how we oftentimes allow ourselves to get so busy with life that we forget to experience life -to get everything we can get from it and to give it our all. We are so consumed with doing that we forget about being. Being who we were created to be so we can do what we were created to do, not just what the roles we are in dictate that we should do. Let’s talk about how we get confused about the difference between joy and happiness, peace and comfort, dreams and reality. There is a difference. And, when you fail to realize the difference, you may very well fail to live the life you were created to live and to experience the magnificence that God planned for you. Finding - no making - the time to get quiet and reflect on who you are, how you are living, what you are doing, how you show up in the world; who you love, who loves you, and how you show each other love; and if life is what you want it to be, is necessary for building and experiencing a life that will leave you with no regrets. While this is a necessary step, it’s not an easy one to take. It requires you to be brutally honest with yourself; to evaluate your behaviors, attitude, relationships, career or business really, every area of your life; and to determine if what you have is what you really want. And, if it isn’t, to decide what you are going to do about it. I caution you, however, do not walk into this lightly. Don’t do this exercise without the intent to act on what you come to realize. If you find, for example, that you don’t like your life or that you are dissatisfied with your relationships but don’t do anything to change things, I guarantee that you will find yourself becoming more easily frustrated, resentful, and an all-around miserable person. You will be very aware of what you want that you don’t have, and it will eat away at you. So, if you’re not ready to find yourself, don’t go to that quiet place where you face who you really are. Just continue to work on yourself until you have the strength to accept what you discover and the courage to become who you really want to be. For those of you who are ready to take the challenge, schedule time away from your roles and responsibilities, get to a quiet place that calms your soul, and in that quiet, find yourself. Recognize who you are and discover who you were created to be. The life you desire and deserve is waiting for the real you to show up.
FINDING
YOU
IN THE QUIET BY DR. CHERITA WEATHERSPOON
Dr. Cherita Weatherspoon is a best-selling author, speaker and success strategist. If you’re ready to step into your power, visit www.SuperwomanIsDead.com to schedule your Power Call.
We were all created with a light within us. Our lights are intended to shine bright and impact the world in which we live with the unique gifts and energies we’ve been given. Our lights don’t always shine bright though. Often we feel overwhelmed with life and it’s because we’ve allowed others to project their fears and needs and sometimes, their responsibilities, onto us. We take from others what they choose not to carry and then wonder how and when our loads became so heavy. Our lights get dimmer and dimmer with each item we add. We need boundaries to protect our light. Boundaries are critical to our light’s ability to shine bright. Boundaries signify how much you value yourself. They let others know that you’ve learned some lessons through prior experiences and refuse to ignore red flags that show up at this point in your life. Boundaries acknowledge the huge investment you’ve made in your journey and announce to others that you will not experience a loss in personal growth for their personal gain. They’re significant in the fact that they tear down the menacing voice of unworthiness that screams you’re too picky or you want too much. Boundaries protect you from allowing others to take so much of you that you have nothing left to give. They are essentially the quiet reminders that confirm loving, respecting and prioritizing yourself are key components of a fruitful life. The spirit of fear will tell you that boundaries are too harsh and will cause people to run away from you. Lingering insecurities will whisper that you don’t have a right to say no to those you love or to the job you’ve been so fortunate to have landed. The broken little girl inside of you will beg for you to do anything you can to please others so you don’t experience rejection, yet again. But, remember your light!
This
little
light of mine BY RAINBOW HUFF Your light will confirm that who and what God has for you was predestined and can’t be scared off by healthy boundaries. It will remind you that you are more precious than rubies and are deserving of mutually beneficial relationships that give back what you pour out. That light will speak to the broken little girl and teach her that she is fearfully and wonderfully made and will never have to chase people or things because anything attached to her destiny will ultimately find her and embrace her. The little girl can be taught that perceived rejection is often nothing more than God’s redirection. The brightness of our light depends on the choices we make. Will you be everything to everyone and slowly watch your light diminish? Or, will you create healthy boundaries to protect your light so that it continues to shine bright, as intended, to bless the world? As for me, I plan to take heed to the Sunday school song I learned many, many years ago. This little light of mine…I’m gonna let it shine!
Are you feeling information overload on what the design style makers are drooling over and having trouble deciding on what will work for you? Well, you’ll be able to survive the impending back to school/back to campus season and the impending Fall and Winter seasons by getting ready with a few key 2018/2019 interior design trends. There’s a mixed bag of options for any taste or personality. So, check out some of the trends I decided to highlight for you from the list below and select a few that resonate with you. • Tech·nol·o·gy /tekˈnäləjē/ -- scary for some and surviving the need to keep up with the latest can be overwhelming. Rely on a tech professional to help you decide what best suits your needs for your business and family. • Products made from sustainable materials – animal free leather; silk that is free of worms • Materials such as natural wood and marble are always nice timeless finishes and are a great investment for the long haul.
• Plants, which offer a variety of benefits such as reducing carbon dioxide and airborne dust levels. • Statement ceilings instead of statement jewelry. Make the view above just as interesting as your walls or floor. • Believe it or not, wallpaper is making a huge comeback, especially on a focal wall -not the entire room -and the patterns are bolder than ever. • Colors of the earth and colors like red, one of my favorite colors in my personal office space. Black and sage green on the walls, on accessories and in matte finishes. • Global ethnic and tribal patterns. • Great small space pieces that have many functions, especially as many are downsizing and doing more with less. Adding any of these trends to the many dimensions of you as a Woman of MORE should help you wade through all that comes at you on a daily basis and push the envelope a bit at home.
• Curvy furniture.
“SURVIVING THE 2019 INTERIOR DESIGN TRENDS” BY Tynetta T. Brown, Interiors/Lifestyle Contributor
Email me at combinationsinteriors@ gmail.com and let me know what trend you picked up for the Fall/Winter 2018/2019 and perhaps we will highlight your effort in a future issue.