TO ALL THE WOMEN LEADING BEHIND THE SCENES IN SPORTS. CELEBRATES AND HONOR THOSE WOMEN THAT COACH, LEAD AND MENTOR EVERYDAY IN SPORTS.
CON FIDE NCE Your confidence will not form or last from an external wind or word. The longevity of oneself comes from a greater power from within you. It took me a long time to operate in this belief, but once I finally got it, I got it and applied it. You see, some of us will always crave the affirmation of a moment in time, but those that seek the ultimate prize, long lasting satisfaction, long term gratification, the real deal will always pull and crave from the internal power, anointing and promises of God. The confidence you desire lives within you. There’s MORE to YOU!
A WORD FROM THE EDITOR IN CHIEF
Tragedy and devastation can leave you breathless and without hope. From natural disasters to personal loss, life can serve up a good dose of “I didn’t see that coming,” and “What do I do now?” Some recent hurricanes have wiped out entire neighborhoods, destroying communities that took decades to build. Fires have roared through thousands of acres leaving charred remains and devouring precious memories and priceless heirlooms. Tragic shootings in random places have claimed innocent lives and broken countless hearts. Servicemen and women continue to return home from endless military conflicts, physically and emotionally maimed and challenged, and we all hear personal accounts of heart-rending stories daily on the airwaves.
So, how do you find the courage to move forward after tremendous loss or devastation? You make the choice. Choosing to move forward is not automatic. People often understandably get bogged down with heartache and get stuck. They forget that challenges, death and loss are a part of life, and we are capable of tremendous growth and amazing change when we encounter them.
Sometimes the pains and challenges of life leave us with nowhere to go but forward. The home, gone; the loved one, passed; the divorce, final; the bankruptcy, filed; the reputation, ruined; the limb, amputated; and your heart and spirit, broken. Your circumstances have changed forever, and the notion of returning to things "as they use to be" or "getting back to normal" are not applicable in your scenario. Yet, God has given you a resilient spirit that is capable of rising above the greatest of obstacles.
Get help. Don’t try to go it alone. After my mom passed, one of the best decisions I made was to seek grief counseling. Mourning was a very heavy personal lift and unchartered territory. I needed the help. Be patient. Recovery takes time and is not a microwave, cookie cutter process. It’s different for everyone; so, discover what works for you. Above all, TRUST GOD! God will walk you through the darkness, be your friend during the lonely moments and your strength when you feel like you can’t make it. God renews you, enables you, restores you and reminds you that new beginnings are possible when you move forward.
This reality became personal and real to me after my mom passed, my marriage ended, my home flooded, and I lost my job – all within a year. My life would NEVER again be the same. My mother, my force and champion, was gone, and everything seemed to fall apart. My days looked and felt different. I was different, and NOTHING anyone said was ever going to change that. No scripture or prayer would bring her back! Putting together the pieces of my life seemed impossible, especially since the picture-perfect version I had in mind was not to be. I had to make a choice to move forward, since all that was behind me was gone forever.
Be honest and intentional. Death has claimed your loved one. You’ve mis-managed your finances. He cheated. You cannot change it; so, own it and start over. We have so many examples of wounded people who have turned tragedy into triumph. If it can happen for them, it can happen for you, too; but you must do the work. Don’t be bitter. Plan to be better.
WHEN WHAT’S BEHIND YOU LEAVES YOU NOWHERE TO GO… BUT FORWARD WRITTEN BY CARLEEN BROWN
Omoyeni Makinde www.omoYeni.com
@OMOYENIJEWELRY @OMOYENI_JEWELRY @omoYenisJewelry
An article in Marie Claire magazine shared a statistic that 86% of us are worriers. The top 6 areas of worry are 1. Work, 2. Finances, 3. Being Late, 4. A family members health, 5. Personal health, and 6. A relationship. How many of these can you relate to? While we all face situations that may cause us to worry, we all deal with it differently. Many of us learned how to deal with worry through the environment that we grew up in. I grew up in a home with a mother who made it easy to see and feel when she was worrying. When she worried, I would see her looking to food for comfort, becoming easily agitated and, at times, in a space of depression.
WHY WORRY WRITTEN BY SHAUNDYLL ROGERS FACEBOOK: @SHAUNDYLLROGERS
Seeing those behaviors taught me to deal with worry in unhealthy ways. I would lose my appetite, I would get headaches, anxiety, and even restlessness. Worry affected my entire body, from head to toe, and it affected my relationships. I would become extremely distant and sometimes even mean. I looked to alcohol as a means to help me deal with the stress but that only created larger issues and problems in my life. On my journey to finding freedom, I knew that I needed to figure out a healthier way to deal with the worries of life. I was not willing to continue to set myself back by doing what I had always done.
Today, I am aware that I don’t have to carry these burdens. I know that my Father in Heaven is willing to take them on, if I am willing to hand them over and trust Him. Are you willing to hand yours over?
Restoring my spiritual relationship with Christ in 2014 started me on the path to a different perspective about worry. Learning what God says was a game-changer. Mathew 11 says that if we come to him weary and burdened, He will give us rest. John 14 tells us that He has given us peace. Psalms 55 reminds us to cast our cares.
Worry can be debilitating. It can push us into some very dark corners and cause us to look for peace in unhealthy ways. We all have a choice though. We can give it power by allowing it to consume our mind and body, while dictating our behaviors, or we can remove it of its power by doing what God has asked to us to do. We don’t always get to choose the trials and tribulations of life, but we definitely get to choose how we handle it.
There were so many scriptures for me to use as the blueprint for handling worry. Have I been successful? Yes. Has it been easy? No. I had to learn an entirely new way of being and doing. I had to learn to depend on someone else. This went against everything I had learned about handling worry and stress.
"On my journey to finding freedom, I knew that I needed to figure out a healthier way to deal with the worries of life."
Wendy Talley's workbook, SMART Goal...Time Management Workbook is designed with the entrepreneur, college student, homemaker, the business owner in mind. It provides tips on building positive thoughts and behaviors, finding power in your pain, developing effective, clear and concise goals along with creating a time frame to do it all. You have an idea the world needs to know about, but first, you must be SMART about your steps. Live your Destiny on Purpose. Â Order your copy on Amazon TODAY!
@WENDYTHELESETALLEY @WENDY_TALLEY_LCSW Thelese Consulting Group, LLC 400 Continental Blvd, 6th Flr El Segundo, CA 90245 O: 424-317-6800
THE
5
QUESTIONS TO ASK WHEN STARTING ANY NEW RELATIONSHIP WRITTEN BY Dr. Torri Love Griffin, LPC
Every day, we encounter new people in our travels. Some of these chance encounters result in relationships that are brief while others may last a lifetime. Short or long, they all start somewhere, so knowing what to have in mind when you meet new people can determine the direction and the duration of the resulting relationship. Here are 5 questions to ask when starting ANY new relationship. Keep these in mind to keep your head clear about what is happening between you and this new person. What is the PURPOSE of this relationship? What do I want it to become? What do we both bring to the table and what do we both want from each other? Am I willing to give what is being asked of me? Will I also get what I want? What is this relationship anyway?
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It is also important to keep your own purpose in mind and find out what the other person’s purpose is. Purpose compatibility is a big plus in relationships. Am I PREPARED for this type of relationship? If it’s a friendship, do I have time in my schedule to develop this new relationship? If it’s a dating relationship, am I ready for new love? If it’s just a hook-up, am I prepared for the various potential outcomes? Will anyone I’m already involved with be disturbed by this new relationship? There are times when you may choose to take yourself off the dating scene to get a little rest and recuperation. Being in a relationship takes effort, time and energy. Honor your new partner by being clear with your signals. Don’t give them the green light with your words but show them the red light with your attention.
Dr. Torri Love is the creator of the LiSENSE 2 DATE Relationship Training Programs for Teens, College Students & Adults. She is a Love & Relationships Coach and Family Therapist in the Atlanta Area. Connect with her at www.LiSENSE2DATE.com, on IG & Twitter @DRTorriLove and FB: Dr. Torri Love
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What PATH will we take while creating this new relationship? Will we primarily converse by text or will we spend time face-to-face in conversation? Will we start as friends or immediately start dating? Truly growing to know someone takes a while and utilizes a variety of experiences. Being prepared to explore specifics helps you really get to know the person you are with. At what POINT am I PREPARED to evaluate our PROGRESS in becoming what we intended to be in this relationship? If this is an engagement, do we have a wedding date sometime within the next 12 months? If a friendship, are we really friends? Set a time to check out your progress. Thirty days, 60 days and 90 days are good to start with. After a 6 month and 12 month check, re-evaluate. If things aren’t looking the way they were planned, it may be time to make a new plan. What has the quality of my life been since I added this person to it? Am I feeling better and making great things happen in my life or do I have double the drama now? This is an important question to ask because anyone can objectively answer it. If things look like they’ve been hit by a human tornado then it may be time to call it quits. If you’ve moved to cloud nine, things may be right on track. It may take a while to get through these five questions but being conscious of them will keep you on track as you develop new relationships with the many people you meet along life's path. There’s no need to discuss each question with everyone you meet but having them in mind will keep YOU on track as you include and exclude new people from your life and career. Everyone has motives in relationships and having that information clear and out in the open can help guide you in creating a relationship you can love!
THE FIERCE, FABULOUS & FINANCIALLY FIT SINGLE WOMAN WRITTEN BY DR. COZETTE M WHITE
When you are single, you may not have multiple streams of income to pay your bills, rent and accumulate your savings. But, there are methods that exist to save cash that are not possible when you are a couple. The way you opt to spend when you are single is entirely within your control. This type of freedom can assist in guiding your everyday spending choices and the products or trips you binge on. Couples share a lot of costs, but this does not place single ladies at a disadvantage. Being single can bring tremendous benefits. As a single woman, you do not need to have someone else approve your ideas, and you do not need to compromise. This allows the single woman to make decisions much simpler and facilitates more savings opportunities.
“A single most important aspect of being financially fit is living within your means.” – Dr. Cozette M. White
Therefore, after your vacation of overspending and overindulgence, follow the tips below on how to make your single status generate extra cash for you. You do not need a partner to become financially stable!
As a single woman, you can select your holiday destination. It is important and enjoyable to attempt new things. But, a partner might have expensive hobbies or travel standards which are beyond your choices.
You Have More Time For Execution When You Are Alone Relationships consume time and, frankly speaking, time is money! As a couple, rather than arriving home to a silent house where you can sit and focus on factors that generate more money, you need to decide what to cook for dinner and discuss how the day was. You do not have time to relax.
Use the time you are flying on your own to set travel objectives for yourself that are genuinely attainable. It is not necessary for you to worry about another person saving their cash or taking time off. Instead, after you have determined your objective, you can make your bookings, pack up and leave.
Use this free time to put your energy into endeavors that could earn you more income. Single women can set up another source of income from a hobby or second job, which can lead to saving.
Your Debt Is Yours Alone This fact is not fun! After you get married, regardless of whether you have different accounts, you share your partner’s debt. The two of you are responsible for it.
A single woman can minimize costs and does not need to accumulate as much, compared to a couple, when putting aside savings for the future. Treat tax refunds and raises like an unforeseen windfall. If your life is comfortable without it, behave like you did not obtain it and include it in your savings.
A single woman with independent finances is in total control of her financial future. She is not limited by any prior financial needs their partner might have, like debt, credit card or child support commitments. Take advantage of this time to be focused on getting financially secure while you have the power to make your own decisions.
@DRCOZETTEMWHITE
THOUGHTFUL MOMENTS
FOCUS ON YOUR STRENGTH
Written By Michelle Washington DON'T DWELL ON YOUR WEAKNESS, EVERYBODY ELSE IS ALREADY DOING THAT.
Allow this statement to challenge you where you are and what you were told to believe. Some of us were told at an early age that you had to get an “A” in every subject to be considered smart; and if you didn’t receive an "A" you were told you weren’t applying yourself or you didn’t take school seriously. And at the end of the discussion, you got in trouble because you weren’t "strong" in every subject. I always wondered why a “letter” was the definition of strength or weakness. Could it be in our weakness we are actually strong? Don’t allow the distractions of what people say is a weakness, rather focus on your strength and allow yourself time to develop yourself and the areas you need to be strong in. Focusing on my weakness makes me weak.
WHAT ARE
YOU
WAITING FOR?
RIDE YOUR WAVE YOUR WAY.
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WRITTEN BY SIOBHAN THOMAS
Summer is here and we are eagerly marking the days to get away from the Chaos of it all. But, sometimes it takes everything out of us to plan the vacation and then pack for the vacation. Let me take the chaos out of packing for you with a few easy packing tips that make my vacation preparation easy. The length of my getaway determines which bag I pack. Yes, ChaosGirls, you heard me correctly, a single bag. Now this may be an overnight bag or a mid-size suitcase. Either way, I only pack one bag. Too many times we get overwhelmed and overthink the whole packing thing. Most of the clothes we pack end up staying in the suitcase the entire trip, never seeing a blue sky, single grain of sand, or an evening dinner. Evening dinners, that’s the one that got me every time. You know, the five dresses and the pair of wide leg pants you just had to pack because “you may go out for a fancy dinner.” Time and time again I look back and see how much time and energy I wasted in packing instead of taking the moment for what it was truly intended for… to RELAX. So now, I throw a few things in a bag and enjoy my vacation. I promise, after you try these tips you’ll never stress over packing again.
For a quick getaway I always pack two outfits that I can interchange. Yes, ladies, two! I pack two outfits and wear the third. I wear a nice pair of traveling pants for the trip, typically a regular or silk jogger, paired with a simple tank and a pair of my favorite sneakers. I carry an oversized sweater for flights, which tend to get cold, and to have a cover up for cooler nights. I carry one purse that goes with all my outfits. In my bag is one black midi dress that I can wear to dinner or breakfast, a button down linen shirt and a pair of cutoff shorts. My linen shirt triples as a coverup by the pool and an added layer for day excursions, while my cutoffs can be paired with a bathing suit for a day excursion. If I need a third outfit, I pair my joggers with a one-piece bathing suit and the sandal wedges I packed to wear at dinner or during the day. I keep it simple when it comes to accessories as well. I bring one statement necklace for dinner and bangles to wear with all my outfits. This also prevents you from losing or forgetting any of your favorite pieces in another country. For longer trips, I add a pair of jeans and a silk tank to wear to dinner or a casual night out, an extra pair of shorts, my favorite white tee, a few extra bathing suits, and a sexy heel. Whether it’s a quick two-day get away or a week-long experience, packing is the last thing I’m stressing about. Remember, if all else fails, you can buy it when you get there!
CELEBRATING WOMEN IN SPORTS
HOW WOULD YOU DEFINE A WOMAN OF MORE? A woman of MORE enjoys her journey with passion for what she’s after but finds time to keep herself balanced mentally, physically and emotionally. HOW DO YOU MAINTAIN PEACE IN YOUR LIFE? When I am feeling overwhelmed or when somebody has disappointed me, I take deep breaths to help release the feelings.
Linda
HOW WOULD YOU ENCOURAGE WOMEN TO LEAD, AS A MENTOR AND SERVE IN THE WORLD? Be a good listener. Treat people with respect no matter what level they’re at, what they do for a living, and/or whether they help you. HOW DO YOU HANDLE CHALLENGES IN THE WORKPLACE? One challenge that I’ve faced, and I know many other driven women who have encountered the same challenge, is expecting others to handle a situation the same way you would. When that doesn’t happen you feel disappointed, sad or angry. I’ve learned that controlling my emotions and not taking anything personally is key to overcoming challenges. WHAT ARE TWO THINGS YOU LEARNED IN YOUR CAREER? Don’t ever stop thinking you’ve mastered your craft. There’s always room to improve. Also, always look for the positive and remind yourself what you’ve accomplished in your career. That’s what I try to do. It keeps me from thinking others have it better than I do. WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO INSPIRE WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD? Anything is possible. When I was in college in the late 70’s, I told a couple of my friends I wanted to be a sportscaster. They thought I was nuts, saying there are no women sportscasters. I didn’t let that stop me.
is living proof that she not only works in a man’s world but also continues to succeed in it. She is a pioneer and role model and continues to pave the way for many women who want to follow her footsteps into sports broadcasting. Her straightforward style, natural sense of humor and passionate fanaticism for the teams she grew up with and continues to root for, connects with viewers. Linda is active on social media and enjoys interacting with her fan base. During her career at ESPN, the versatile Cohn has hosted, reported, commentated, interviewed, written and called play-by-play. She also has appeared in many of ESPN’s iconic “This Is SportsCenter” commercials. Linda Cohn has anchored more than 5,000 SportCenters and still more than anyone else. Currently, she continues to host SportsCenter and is the primary host of NHL highlight show “In the Crease” on ESPN+ on the ESPN app, and Sports talk host of Sirius XM Maddog Sports Radio.
ENCOURAGE YOURSELF
PRESS PLAY https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=2TQHs7Igrc4&t=5s
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Tamica is the author of the top selling memoir “A Ball and a Dream” written for those aspiring to apply their gift in sports to access higher education. “A Ball and a Dream” shares the ups and downs of her journey as a student, collegiate athlete, coach, athletic administrator and so much more. She exudes contagious energy, genuine engagement and a breadth of wisdom and diverse experiences needed to inspire youth and young adults to utilize higher education and god-gifted talent as a means to reach their dreams. “A Ball and a Dream” can be purchased at Amazon, Barnes & Nobles or where ever books are sold. To book Tamica SmithJones for a speaking engagement or book signing appearance please visit www.tjsportscomplete.com
“How’s Your Fitness Game at Home?” WRITTEN BY TYNETTA BROWN
Whether you are an amateur or a professional female athlete, your fitness game is clearly defined by you and needs to support you in all your efforts to become a woman of MORE. Setting goals in life and in sports are analogous in that one can leverage intellectual and physical talents to strengthen your discipline and heighten senses. Sports can build skills to get to the finish line to accomplish your goals and ambitions. A healthy mind and body provides you with the energy you need to think clearly and the longevity to maintain a lifestyle to enjoy your journey to MORE and the fruits of your labor. No, we don’t expect you to have a full regulation gym in your home as some athletes do or become a tri-athlete from home, but we do recommend carving out a clearly defined space for those moments when you can’t get out and run, get to the gym, to Zumba or yoga class. Setting up dedicated space for a fitness area, as you would with a home office or meditation area, just takes a little planning and commitment that this space will purely be used for its intended purpose. Transforming a tiny space, garage, spare room or a basement into a space of inspiration to meet your fitness and life goals doesn’t need to be stressful. You don’t want to clutter or fill the area with equipment that will simply collect dust or look great for a photo shoot and not serve its intended purpose. Consider equipment that will be either multi-purpose in use and benefit, such as a treadmill, stair climber, simple weights, a jump rope and perhaps a balance ball. Options for music or streaming workout videos are always great for taking the drudgery out of working out and can also help clear your head and inspire you to do more strategic thinking about your next work or life goal.
Vibrant stimulating colors and good lighting also will enhance the space so that you enjoy using it daily making it an integral part of your daily discipline. You want to also make sure that the weight of the equipment is taken into consideration and the electrical capacity of the fitness area can appropriately accommodate the wattage of any equipment you acquire. Other considerations include the ability to store equipment, controlling the room temperature and if the space will “age” with you? You may need to modify the equipment used to continue your fit game over the years. Whatever works for helping you stepping up your home fitness game now and for the future, design it with the end benefit in mind - becoming a healthy, fit and inspired woman of MORE. As always, we’d love to see photos of your gym game and tell us how a dedicated space at home has helped or inspired you. Send them to combinationsinteriors@gmail.com.
These emerald gems are my new bff. I found that it doesn’t matter if I have on a simple black midi fit dress, channeling my inner Audrey, or sporting a pair of my favorite jeans or cutoff shorts, these satin finish flats dress up any look. They are the perfect shoe to add to your summer wardrobe. Flat Satin Bow Slingback $45.90 www.zara.com/us/
Given that I am almost 40 I feel that I should be way past the acne stage of my life. From time to time, however, my skin wants to act out and break out like a hormonal teenager. The Eclipse detox clay mask is one that I can’t live without. I find that this sheet mask calms my skin and keeps my breakouts at bay. The added tea tree soothes any redness I may have giving me noticeably clearer skin. Dr. Jart Dermask Micro Jet Clearing Solution Sheet Mask $9.00 www.Sephora.com
Every ChaosGirl needs her favorite white t-shirt. This little one hit wonder is a major staple piece to my everyday, on-the-go looks. I love pairing it with jeans, dress pants, a skirt or my favorite cutoff shorts. I always keep three on deck!
FAVORITE THINGS Nothing is better than a relaxed fit, broken in pair of denim shorts. I love throwing on a pair of denim shorts to run errands or make my Saturday fresh farmers market run in such a classic denim look. Want to pull off the perfect bohemian look? Pair your denim with a simple tank and silk kimono. Levi’s Classic Denim Shorts $28-$60 www.levi.com/US/en_US/
I love taking a break from the Chaos and treating myself to a good face mask. Netflix and Mask is my motto, oh and a cup of tea. VanaBody’s BABYDOLL is one of three amazing clay masks that provides exactly what my skin needs after a stressful day or week. I also love using this mask right before applying my makeup for either date night or a night out with the girls. With its all-natural ingredients such as mild clays, coconut milk and rosehips it keeps my makeup flawless and my skin glowing and soft. Be sure to use my special code “HERCHAOSGIRL15” to receive 15% off your first purchase. Babydoll Face Mask $22.00 www.vanabody.com
T-shirt with Round Neckline $7.90 www.zara.com/us/
@HERCHAOSGIRL
DILLARD UNIVERSITY ATHLETIC DIRECTOR
THE CHIEF ENERGY OFFICER
HOW WOULD YOU DEFINE A WOMAN OF MORE? In order to stay relevant, you have to S. L. A. Y. " Stay A Woman of MORE is a woman who is Motivated, Learning and Yearning".I have found that always being Optimistic, Relevant and Engaged in her personal willing to learn something new is the key to remaining development as well as the communities in which she relevant. The only constant in life is "change". is a member and serves. HOW DO YOU REMAIN RELEVANT IN A COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT?
HOW DO YOU OVERCOME CHALLENGES IN THE WORKPLACE?
DR. KIKI SERVE IN HER COMMUNITY AND ORGANIZATIONS AROUND THE WORLD
I developed an acronym for the word B. O. S. S. that describes as Dr. Kiki's Keys to overcoming challenges in the workplace. It is Building Bridges and Overcoming Obstacles with Service and Sacrifice.
Junior League of New Orleans (JLNO) Greater New Orleans Sports Foundation (GNOSF) Board of Directors Minorities Opportunities Athletic Association (MOAA) Board of Directors NAIA Athletic Director’s Association Board of Directors Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT MENTORSHIP? HOW IMPORTANT IS IT? Mentorship is one of the single most critical needs in both personal and professional development. Mentorship is the way that we can ensure sustainability for the next generation of leaders. If you are in a position of power, then it is critical to have mentors so that you can share knowledge that will help them grow, as well as making your more comfortable with being an advocate for their advancement in whatever career or industry you are in. We've all heard the old adage that people hire people they know. Mentorship is a strategic way of getting to know and prepare our next generation of leaders. WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO MOTIVATE, INSPIRE AND EMPOWER WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD? Your deepest "desires" are directly attached to what "decisions" you are willing to make. Stop giving others authority and power over your life. You have the "POWER of CHOICE, CHOOSE WISELY."
CONNECT WITH DR. KIKI @KIKIBAKERBARNES
THE CHIEF ENERGY OFFICER
Dr. Malaika Turner
Debbie Allen said it best, “you got big dreams, you want fame, well fame costs and right here is where you start paying, in sweat.” This was one of the most memorable lines during Debbie Allen’s interlude in the title song from the show Fame. Fame was a 1980’s TV show that chronicled the lives of talented artistic students, who attended the New York High School of the Performing Arts. Most of the characters were hardworking, poor to middle class students, who faced many internal and external challenges, while aspiring to live their dreams as artists. In retrospect, I struggled with many of the issues that were mirrored on the show - low self-esteem, belonging, and identity issues; but somehow, I managed to overcome those issues and experience success. However, while the storylines in Fame were written by gifted writers who were paid to entertain the audience with heart-wrenching plot twists, my issues were real and challenging and unscripted. So how did I make it through life’s struggles and still forge ahead with my eyes on those big dreams? RESILIENCE. Merriam-Webster defines resilience as tending to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change. However, I came across another definition in a leadership article that piqued my interest and caused me to reflect on my own life. Resilience was defined as bouncing forward… the ability to not just come back from a crisis, but to MOVE FORWARD during the setback or misfortune.
At some point in your life, you’ve experienced challenges, struggles and hardship. If you haven’t, then you’re not living. Nevertheless, what I’ve learned is that it’s not about whether you’ve bounced back from the hardship; the question is have you learned to bounce forward? Have you responded to life’s hardships with: “Oh well, I’m done!” “I’m giving up.” “I’m never going to try again!” “I’m safe right where I am.” If you have, then you’ve bounced back, but not forward. The kind of resilience I’m talking about is the kind that requires courage and strength. You must do more than get up from the struggle, you must push through in the struggle. You must look in the mirror and tell yourself, “Listen, you might bend, but you won’t break – so let’s MOVE FORWARD!” This kind of resilience calls for self-talk and drawing from a strength that is deep within you! The reason Debbie Allen’s quote stuck with me was it motivated me to move. It revealed that if you desire fame or success, you must exert a level of energy that will cause you to push past your comfort zone. If you want to experience fame, it’s going to cost you. You’ve got to DO SOMETHING. You’ve got to MOVE FORWARD. So, I encourage you to move! Make it happen. If you’ve encountered a few roadblocks, speed bumps, rejection, etc., that’s ok. Get up and keep on moving and walk in true resilience. Don’t just bounce back, BOUNCE FORWARD!
Dr. Malaika Turner is a motivational speaker who believes in the power of knowing purpose. Her motivational sessions are designed to activate her audience and encourage movement forward - Motivation That Moves. For bookings contact Dr. Malaika Turner at drmalaikaturner@gmail.com. Follow her on Twitter, Instagram and LinkedIn @drmalaikaturner.
@STEPHENWILKERSON @STEPHENSIGNATURE
PHOTO BY: STEVY BRONX OF IMAGES BY SBX
WRITTEN BY DORIANNE ST FLEUR SALARY STRATEGIST | HR EXPERT
When I first met Sherrie six months ago, she was at a cross roads in her career. She’d been a mid-level manager at a small advertising firm in New York for almost five years, and even though she’d consistently received positive feedback during her performance reviews (and her team always came in first for meeting revenue goals), Sherrie was passed up for promotion to Director three years in a row. It seemed like all of her peers – even those who joined the company after she did – were effortlessly climbing the ladder and making it to senior management positions, and Sherrie couldn’t figure out why her trajectory was stalled. After working with her manager to conduct a peer review on Sherrie’s behalf, it was clear to me what the issue was: Sherrie’s personal brand needed work. Personal brand is the perception or impression others have about you and your work. The wrong impression (or no impression at all) from others can negatively impact your career growth and limit your chances for getting that next promotion. Dorianne is a HR expert, salary & career strategist and founder of the only culturally relevant leadership platform created for women of color with aspirations of getting to the executive suite. If you're ready to own your power and propel your career forward, head on over to her online coaching boutique at www.YourCareerGirl.com. Follow her on IG and FB: yourcareergirl and on Twitter: yourcareergirl_
Here are three ways your personal brand may be sabotaging your chances of getting promoted.
NO ONE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE Even though Sherrie’s direct reports and manager were aware of her track record, hardly anyone outside of her immediate team knew who she was. It’s easy to assume that as long as you put your head down and meet your deadlines, you’ll eventually make it to the corner office. This isn’t true. In order to build a brand that will help propel you to the next level in your career, you’ll need to build relationships with key decision makers across your organization.
YOU DON’T HAVE A POINT OF VIEW Worse than people not knowing who you are, is people not knowing what you think. One of the hurdles Sherrie had to overcome was the perception that she “never had an opinion." What she intended to be perceived as a willingness to go with the flow, her peers took as apathetic and disengaged. As an HR leader, I’ve sat in dozens of promotion meetings, and one of the top traits of those who get promoted to senior positions is their ability to challenge the status quo and push their point of view forward in a collaborative and inclusive way.
YOU’RE NOT PERCEIVED AS A LEADER Whether you manage a team of 50 or have no one directly reporting to you, people are drawn to leaders. Even though Sherrie’s team consistently met their revenue goals, no one viewed Sherrie as the driving force in that process. In order to be considered for promotion – especially at senior levels – you’ll need to cultivate a brand where people see you as an influencer in your organization. Armed with actionable feedback, Sherrie created a deliberate plan to revamp her brand and she was finally promoted to Director of her department. Aligning your personal brand with your career goals is the secret ingredient to a successful career.
WRITTEN BY DR. CHERITA WEATHERSPOON
I replay these conversations in my head often. She couldn’t believe that I worked full-time; was enrolled in a doctoral program; had four children including a baby; and volunteered in my church, at work, and in the community; and was holding everything together. I was a star student, an involved and dutiful wife and mother, the friend who always said yes, and a bit of an overachiever at work, but I did it all, and I looked good while doing it. Superwoman was what she would call me. She was affirming me. She was complimenting me. She was cheering me on. At least that was her intent. But she would always follow the compliment with a question, “How do you do it all?” My answer was always the same, “I don’t know. I just do it.” Most of the time that was the end of the conversation. The one time she responded to that statement she said, “You’re better than me. I couldn’t do it. I can’t even imagine it. You, go girl!” There was no shade on her part. Her sentiments were pure. I believe she was just acknowledging that the life I was living was not for the faint at heart and that it took a lot to balance everything on my plate. While she was amazed at my ability to do so and perhaps even admired it, she knew her own limitations and that she could not successfully live the life I was living.
I was living this life, but I was nobody’s Superwoman. I was physically and mentally exhausted. I was happy, but joy seemed to be eluding me. I loved my family, but they were getting on my nerves. I was resentful of those I would help, but who couldn’t find time to help me. I found myself shorttempered with my children, angry at my husband, retreating to my bedroom to be alone, crying in the shower, and waking up dreading going to work where I was mistreated and undervalued. To amplify all of this was the fact that there was no one I could blame other than myself. I proudly picked up the cape and put it on. I wore the S on my chest as a badge of honor. I shared war stories and battle scars with other Superwomen. We bonded over our glorious misery all while losing ourselves and losing sight of the Powerhouse women we were meant to be. I didn’t ask for help when I needed it. I didn’t delegate work around the house. I didn’t practice true self-care. I didn’t know how to set emotional boundaries between work and home. I didn’t know how to say no to others. And, I didn’t know how to say yes to myself.
Those conversations were over a decade ago and it wasn’t until 2016 that I decided to step out of the Superwoman role and step into my role as a Powerhouse Woman – a woman who knows what she wants and doesn’t want, who can boldly say no, who is profitably living her purpose, who wakes every day saying YES to herself, and as a result is a better wife, mother, and woman. Girlfriend, I don’t want you to waste any more time. If you’re tired of starring in the character role of Superwoman and are ready to step into your own POWER, then visit www.SuperwomanIsDead.com to schedule a complimentary Power Call with me now.
The truth is, girlfriends, neither could I. So, let’s talk about it. FB | TWITTER | IG COACHCHERITA
WHAT’S YOUR CONTRIBUTION TO THE COMMUNITY? I’m proud to say that the LA Sparks partners with nearly 150 community organizations each season and I have the honor of interacting and serving with many of them. In 2017, the LA Sparks impacted over seventy thousand lives in the community; and half way through the 2018 season, we have already impacted over fiftyfive thousand! From financial literacy and STEM to basketball and health & wellness, our community programs are changing lives daily! Personally, I work with several organizations but those that I work with most significantly are my alma mater, UCLA, and the entire UC System as a Regent Designate. UCLA truly formed me as the person I am both personally and professionally. It’s mission to provide access to education to all, especially Californians, lends to my passion around access, community service and economic empowerment. I believe that if we can change the trajectory of one generation in historically underrepresented and underserved communities, that can potentially create generational wealth that can be leveraged for social impact in those very communities. The same holds true globally, and thus I’m honored to work with Greater Futures for Thomazeau, a small grass roots non-profit that provides aid, food and housing for impoverished communities in Thomazeau, Haiti, which is approximately 2 hours outside of Port au Prince. A project I’m most excited about is the vocational school we are working to build there to teach skills to the members of the community that will directly translate in to jobs.
HOW WOULD YOU DEFINE A WOMAN OF MORE? A Woman of MORE leads with compassion and empathy. She is driven in all she does, and this drive leads to her settling for nothing less than excellence excellence in her work, excellence in her service, and especially excellence in her character. A Woman of MORE knows it’s bigger than her and works daily to contribute to the good that she knows is possible in every member of our beautiful, global human family. How do you maintain peace in your life as the President of the LA Sparks? Ha! Wine, maybe? I’m just kidding… well kind of! If I’m keeping it real, this has been a challenging area for me. If you get an email from me, you’ll see at the bottom that it says, “a relentless dedication to excellence.” Relentless is such a perfect description of my drive around all things. However, between my faith, my son and my circle of friends and family, I somehow find peace when I need it. I have been so blessed to have those I can call on and that love and support me unconditionally. That’s rare. Not all whom are in your life truly show up unconditionally and without an ask.
WHAT ARE TWO THINGS YOU LEARNED AS THE PRESIDENT OF THE LA SPARKS? I learned that you can’t please everyone no matter how hard you try. However, at the end of the day, most people really love to be inspired, love to inspire others and truly believe in the greater good. If you give your all, stay true to your mission, and keep suiting up every day, you will achieve your goals!
HOW DO YOU HANDLE CHALLENGES IN THE WORKPLACE? I work hard to check my emotions and listen first. I try to hear things out before drawing a conclusion. I work hard to always self-reflect to see how I can improve, what I have control over and accept that which I cannot control. The most challenging part of most workplaces are personalities. I have worked hard to check my ego and focus on continuous improvement wherever I can.
“A RELENTLESS DEDICATION TO EXCELLENCE.” CHRISTINE SIMMONS
So, jump right in and start right where you are. Make sure to do it with authenticity and purpose because otherwise people can and will see through it; and moreover, you will waste both your valuable time and theirs! Also, know that 9 times out of 10 you will end up learning just as much and being just as inspired as they are if you keep your heart and mind open.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO INSPIRE WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD? YOU ARE POWER. PERIOD. Women continually need affirmation and acceptance. You are POWERFUL as you are. You are capable of ANYTHING now, at this moment. Yes, prepare properly, but know that your dream is there for the taking. I’ve been told my views on blowing up the institutionalized constructs for gender and racial inequity is not practical or pragmatic. To that I say, Watch Me! I encourage other women to follow their heart, because the world is indeed watching.
HOW WOULD YOU ENCOURAGE WOMEN TO LEAD, MENTOR, AND SERVE IN THE WORLD? Leaders aren’t born for easy, they are born for great. This is a mantra I share with so many I have talked with over the years. Leaders must make hard decisions. Leaders must always take the high road. Leaders must always “fight the good fight” all while “turning the other cheek.” It can be hard, scary and at times lonely. Know this going in but more importantly remember that those who came before you had it even harder, and thus it is each of our jobs to make it easier for the next one coming behind us. Start small but start today. Too often people think to mentor, it’s a huge time commitment. One moment, one conversation, one hour can expose someone to worlds they didn’t know existed. Stop, talk, smile and listen to as many as you can. It is your way of giving thanks to the universe for giving you the blessings you have. That one smile, that one conversation, that one piece of advice, may change the entire trajectory of someone’s life and their impact on the world. Who are you or I to deny the world of that blessing? If not you, whom? If not now, when?
“YOU HAD THE POWER ALL ALONG MY DEAR.” ~ GLINDA, THE GOOD WITCH
#WEAREWOMEN DAVY GREENBERG PHOTOGRAPHER FOR COVER AND INSIDE SPREAD PICTURES FOR CHRISTINE SIMMONS
Tamica Smith Jones is the Director of Intercollegiate Athletics at the University of California, Riverside. Women of MORE magazine proposed several questions to get Tamica's perspective on her career, as a woman and mentorship.Â
TAMICA SMITH JONES - AN ILLUSTRATION OF HOPE.
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF? While being recognized as the City of Riverside Woman of Distinction and 100 Most Influential Leaders in Los Angeles in 2017, I would describe myself as “An Illustration of Hope.” As one of a handful of African-American women who hold the position of Director of Intercollegiate Athletics at the Division 1 level in the country (and perhaps the first-ever African-American woman Division 1 Athletics Director in the University of California system), I understand my responsibility demonstrating excellence in achievement and living a legacy that exemplifies the extraordinary gifts and talents of underrepresented professionals. Achieving this role in a male-dominated industry is not easy and I hope I can inspire other women to pursue their dreams of working toward the highest level even if recognized as trailblazers. Ultimately the goal is to empower others through my work and access to higher education, business and sports and be such a light that illuminates the path for other future leaders #liftandrise. HOW DO YOU REMAIN RELEVANT IN A COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT? Remaining relevant is critical in any environment, especially the competitive environment that is intercollegiate athletics. There are a number of things you must do to remain relevant, but some of the more important ones include: 1. Being an effective and efficient leader – and building a great culture within your organization. 2. Making sure you are focused on growing and developing your staff and that you do not allow for complacency. 3. Identifying the needs of your staff, coaches and student-athletes and working hard to provide those so they are in the best position to succeed. 4. Staying on top of industry trends and identifying ways to be recognized as a thought leader on important issues impacting your industry. 5. Staying active and involved with your industry-specific organizations and conferences. 6. Understanding what your competitors are doing and why. 7. Asking questions. 8. Not being petrified when there is pushback. 9. Building great, genuine and mutually beneficial relationships with your stakeholders, identifying what they need, and being able to deliver that to them while providing a great experience for them and provide them with a great experience every time they engage with your brand.
HOW DO YOU OVERCOME CHALLENGES IN THE WORKPLACE? Simply put, you have to stay positive and focus on solutions and what success looks like – no matter what the issue is in front of you. First, you have to identify the root cause of the issue. Then, focus on viable solutions by determining what success looks like and the roadmap get there. Finally, it’s imperative to identify resources and allies to help you work the plan or strategy, understanding the limitations of working in silo and value of a collaborative team. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT MENTORSHIP? Mentorship is an asset to reaching back and accelerating the rise of others to heights they may not gain access to without your help, guidance and advice. How important is it? I believe it is critically important and absolutely necessary to continue to build a strong culture and impactful legacy around any business or organization. As a leader who embraces mentorship, working with rising stars serves as a personal and professional reminder to act justly, lead mercifully and walk humbly as an approachable person and not merely a prominent position that may seem unattainable or out of reach for so many.
TAMICA SMITH JONES - AN ILLUSTRATION OF HOPE.
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HOW WOULD YOU DEFINE A WOMAN OF MORE? I would define a Woman of MORE as an instinctive woman with an incredibly strong, warrior-like mindset – one who understands and recognizes how to use her wisdom, words and works to overcome the toughest challenges to be successful. She’s a multifaceted woman who is not troubled when required to stretch in an effort to gain a slight edge and make her greatest impact. WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO MOTIVATE, INSPIRE AND EMPOWER WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD? Each of us have a gift the world is waiting on and that gift will make room for you among great men and women but you have to get comfortable outside of your comfort zone. Follow your passion and invest in yourself. Seek education, professional development, wisdom and understanding in your industry. Always champion equality and speak your truth with power. And, connect and engage with as many people who have accomplished the heights that you wish to make the greatest impact. TAMICA SERVE IN HER COMMUNITY AND ORGANIZATIONS AROUND THE WORLD TJ Sports Complete (CEO), Light of the World Christian Ministries International and Women Leaders in College Sports (Board of Directors), Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc., National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, Jack and Jill of America, Inc., Minority Opportunities Athletic Association, Women of Color in Collegiate Athletics Network, National Association for Collegiate Athletic Directors (Active Member)
CONNECT WITH TAMICA @TJJONES @TJSPORTS23