Matters of the Heart - February 2011

February 2011

Make It Your Mission

10 Foods in Red Quit Obsessing Conquer Your Clutter Lather, Rinse, Repeat

Let’s Talk To Each Other!

How to Get What You Want Puppy Love Junk Style from Junk Pile Pretty as a Princess Essential • Enlightening • Entertaining w w w. w o m e n s l i f e s t y l e k a z o o . c o m

Free!

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February 2011

The People Who Make It Happen...

Publisher: Darlene Clifford dclifford@womenslifestylekazoo.com

Contributing Writers: Sandy Derby Kelly Duggan Patricia Emanuele Mary Beth Esquibel Chloe Herakovic Heidi McCrary Jeff Murphy Judy Pearson Juli Wiseman The Kalamazoo Network

Sales: Sales Manager Ruth Ann Dibert radibert@womenslifestylekazoo.com

Sales Representatives: Brenda Murphy Pamela Nunley Maria Pavletic

Layout & Design:

MATTERS OF THE HEART Make It Your Mission to Fight Heart Disease............................20 10 Foods in Red...................................................................23 LOVE NOTES Conquer Your Clutter: The Language of (Organized) Love.......10 A Different Kind of Courage: Lather, Rinse, Repeat.................. 12 Valentine’s Day:Let’s Talk To Each Other!................................17 How to Get What You Want with What You Say ....................24 Surviving Heartbreak: Quit Obsessing ....................................30 DOWN THE AISLE Getting Engaged Is Just The Beginning......................................4 LOOK WHO’S TALKING: Cynthia Lunney DVM – Puppy Love......................................13

jr4 designs JR Harper

INTERIOR IDEAS Junk Style from Junk Pile .......................................................16

Photography:

LOOKING & FEELING GOOD Pretty as a Princess................................................................. 6 Reader’s Lounge..................................................................34

Christopher McGuire Photography www.chrismcguirephoto.com

Office Manager: Patty Clifford

Contact Us

By Phone: 269-569-1647

BUSINESS & FINANCE Networking with the Kalamazoo Network ..................................8 Buy Local............................................................................25 Financial Sauvé: Tailor Finances To Fit Your Stage In Life.............27

Sales Info: 269-271-1032

By Mail: Greater Kalamazoo Women’s LifeStyle, P. O. Box 2284, Portage, MI 49081-2284

By Email: wlskazoo@provide.net

website: www.womenslifestylekazoo.com

Coming In March Let’s Eat!

RECIPES Gluten Free Spinach Risotto.................................................................9 Chocolate Delights Chocolate Caramel Brownies ............................................14 Very Best Fudge ..............................................................14 Toll House Party Mix........................................................14 Warm Cherry Bread Pudding w/ Chocolate Sauce ...............15 Rich ‘N Creamy Mint Cocoa ............................................15 Soul Good Chicken Gumbo.............................................................28 Ham and Greens Quiche ................................................28 Orange Chicken.............................................................29 COMMUNITY NEWS & HAPPENINGS Calendar.............................................................................32

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Getting Engaged Is Just the Beginning ...

Now What? re you one of the thousands of couples who got engaged over the holidays? This is the time for you and your soon-to-be to get everything you ever wanted – whether you're starting from scratch, upgrading, expanding or replacing. Turn a whole bunch of mismatched mine and yours into a lifetime of ours.

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"When it comes to registering, relax, take your time and have fun," recommends Audrey Stavish, a Bridal and Gift Registry expert at Bed Bath and Beyond. "Most brides update their registries online and go into the stores many times. There aren't any rules you must follow. Choose items that are right for you and your soon-to-be. Go through the registry process together and have fun!"

Here are some additional tips to make wedding planning a breeze: Plan Ahead: Start a bridal registry as soon as you say "yes." That way guests will have lots of options for engagement gifts and showers. Periodically update your registry by adding more products if you need to, even after the wedding.

Do the Math: Experts advise registering for 2-3 items times the number of guests you plan to have. Close friends and family will rely on your registry for special events leading up to the wedding – such as engagement parties, bridal showers, and holidays! Your guests will appreciate having lots of choices when they shop for you. Be sure to refresh your list regularly as gifts get purchased.

Register Now, Because You Won't Buy it Later: You may think you will ... but you won't. Now is the time to let others get you the stuff you'd never buy yourself. Your friends and family might even get together to purchase a higher priced "group gift."

Dream Big: Register for gifts in a range of prices and categories. This will give guests and group givers lots of options to choose from.

Remember the Rule of Three: When it comes to setting your table, if you choose bold patterns for your china and flatware, pick a more simple style of glassware. Prefer intricate stemware? Pair it with simpler patterns of china and flatware. So, it's bold/bold/simple or simple/simple/bold.

Visit a Store: It's in your best interest to visit a store and schedule an appointment with an expert consultant who can help you with your gift selections and share great tips like "The Rule of Three," what cookware you will need to prepare your favorite dish, what knife to use when and much more. When making your selections, it's important to touch the towels, heft the flatware, and see everything in person!

C'mon Back: Most couples don't make all their selections in a single spree. Plan on making multiple visits.

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From the Publisher Dear Friends, Ahh…February – the month of love: “Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.” ~Robert Browning Or on the lighter side: “If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?” ~Author Unknown Welcome to our February 2011 edition of WLSK. This month we are all about ‘Matters of the Heart’ - all the way from love to heart health. We are pleased to partner with the American Heart Association and bring you inspiring survival stories from women here in Kalamazoo and all across American. Women who’ve had serious heart health issues and want you to know the warning signs and heart healthy things you should be doing to take care of yourself. It’s an understatement to say some women become too focused on caring for others and forget to take care of themselves. What fabulous creations we are,that we can love so deeply that we forget about ourselves!

“Who, being loved, is poor?” ~ Oscar Wilde And so, being loved, we are richer for it, but we must also make the time to take care of our health so we may continue to care for those we love. With that in mind, we’ve included some tasty recipes, healthful tips and excellent ideas to help you do just that – for yourself and for those you love.

I leave you with some great reading and these fabulous Valentine’s Day quotes: “Loving is not just looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand, and Stars, 1939 “I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.” ~Author Unknown Happy Valentine’s Day!

Darlene

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Pretty as a

By Sara Cosgrove On Sunday, February 27, all eyes will be on the 83rd annual Academy Award nominees – and on you! This festive occasion warrants a wardrobe fit for Cinderella and Prince Charming. Present your unique sense of style – one that surely rivals any starlet’s – with a shimmering chevron dress, princess shoes and a glamorous coat.

Your date will feel stylish too, in a tux tailored specially for him.

French Connection Polar Express Coat in Brule, $368 This fabulous coat by French Connection is a showstopper for special events or every day. Available in sizes 0-12.

French Connection is available at boutiques.

Mary Frances Crystal Ballroom Handbag, $200 This Ivory silk handbag is embellished with pearlescent and frosted beads in various sizes. The handle is an easy to use wristlet. You'll love the soft sound this bag makes as you walk down the aisle or walk through a party. Available at boutiques.

Juicy Jewelry Twinkle as bright as any star with festive cubic zirconia and glass stones snowflake jewelry by Juicy Couture. Bracelet $42, Necklace $48, Earrings $48. Available at boutiques.

Touch Ups Princess shoes The aptly named Princess shoe has a 3” heel and a tiara of its own.

Touch Ups shoes are available at various boutiques and bridal shops.

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There are many non-profit organizations that are in need of our help. Whether it’s time or funding that we’re giving, many community events and non-profit groups benefit greatly from the contributions from professionals and area businesses. Being involved helps everyone. So we asked the question…

PO Box 50374 • Kalamazoo MI 49005 • voicemail: 269-343-7865 • www.kalamazoonetwork.org

What have you or your employer done to get involved in community events or non-profit organizations?

And how has it benefited your business?

I have been involved in dozens of non-profit events, fundraisers, along with community and non-profit boards over the years. Not only is it a great way to give back to my community, but it is a wonderful way to meet people that I might not have otherwise met. It has benefited my business because it creates an instant relationship with those who are also involved, and it lets everyone I meet know that I am not just about building my business but I am also about building a strong community and a strong non-profit foundation for the future.

-Danielle Streed, JD / Law office of Redmond, Redmond & Yokom At The Barton Group, we each have organizations where we spend extra time.

I enjoy coaching varsity softball at Mattawan High School. The wonderful players, parents, and other coaches in the softball world have become great friends! In addition, we do several property projects for the Girl Scouts Heart of Michigan and find inspiration from the many terrific benefits this organization lends to our community.

- Amelia Barker King / The Barton Group I believe that a strong economy benefits everyone and if we all strive to help each other, the benefits will be there in the end. We’re all busy so it’s sometimes hard to get involved with too many organizations, but we’ve made it a point to get actively involved in a local organization that promotes buying local and supporting the local businesses whenever you can. Our business is also involved with a local chapter for a hearing loss organization – and we donate our time and efforts to both of these great, non-profit organizations. We support these organizations because we know that helping people in this manner is just the right thing to do – and that’s always good for business.

- Heidi McCrary / Ad Shop, etc.

We are involved in the Community/Hospital committee to find solutions for providing care to individuals and couples who have an emergency health or physical condition change during an overnight to have caregivers available on very short notice to facilitate discharge back home safely. We also participate annually in several expos to educate the public about the benefits of utilizing home care for their loved ones.

- Gail M. Turluck / Comfort Keepers Maria Pavletic, Independent Marketing and Web Consultant with Pavletic Consulting and Design, LLC. She is currently serving as the President for Kalamazoo Network.

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Spinach Risotto (Serves 4-6)

Ingredients

1 small zucchini, chopped 10 oz baby spinach 1 carrot, diced 1 medium onion, chopped 2 celery stalks chopped 2 cloves of garlic minced 2 tsp extra-virgin olive oil ½ cup dry white wine 1 ½ cup GF chicken stock 1 cup Arborio rice ¼ cup fresh grated Parmesan cheese Salt, pepper, and dried dillweed to taste 1. In a large pan, over medium heat, add olive oil, garlic, celery, onion, carrot. and rice. Cook for 5-7 minutes stirring occasionally until the vegetables are soft.

Stir in the GF chicken stock and the dry white wine; bring to a boil over high heat.

2. Reduce the heat (medium-low), cover and allow to simmer for 20 minutes or until all liquid is absorbed. Add in spinach, zucchini and Parmesan. Add in salt, pepper, and dill weed to taste.

Continue heating until the spinach is wilted (about 2 minutes) and the serve!

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space and relationship to feel. Sometimes the most aggravating situations only require a small change to accommodate a new, positive behavior.

Perhaps it’s as easy as placing a hamper in the “drop location.”

❤And, don’t take it personally. Remember, each of us is wired differently and, as the adage goes, “opposites attract.” When comments are interpreted as attacks on character, it’s time to refocus on the desired outcome and what it will take for the two of you to support each other in a loving, positive way.

Together, take a look at the problem area and come to a shared vision of how you want the space and relationship to feel. ❤Share space, but have “free” zones too. Reserve shared space where you both make the commitment to keep it clear of clutter. Typically this includes the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, family and living rooms. Include “private space” for each of you, even if it’s only a drawer where you can keep it any way you choose without input from the other, or a room or workshop where you can unwind and keep your space as you see fit.

❤Define your strengths and recognize your weaknesses (challenges): For a lot of my clients, paperwork is the biggest challenge and many times it seems the partner with the greatest challenge is the one who’s in charge of it. Piles of mixed papers, junk mail, ads, unpaid bills, school info, medical info, things to follow-up on, magazines, etc. often clutter surfaces, and it can be overwhelming to tackle it, especially when there isn’t a defined system for filing or even knowing what to keep. Avoid tension, and let the one with the best skill set take the lead on setting up the system with input from the other (because you both should know how the system works).

❤Also, when it comes to sharing the work load, you

The Language of (Organized) Love

By Mary Dykstra, MBA CPO

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Sharing space with a loved one can be challenging when you each have very different organizing or time management styles. I have a number of women and men who call asking for organizing help, frustrated with their spouse or significant other’s habits. By the time I enter the situation, it can be tense because the “unorganized one” feels judged and harassed, and the “organized one” can’t understand their love’s seeming resistance to being more organized.

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Can you relate? Whether you’re the organized one or not, take heart. You can learn the language of Organized Love.

❤ Strive for desired outcomes and avoid negative or edgy comments. Dirty laundry left on the floor may be less than charming, but saying, “What’s wrong with you? Can’t you ever just pick up after yourself?” rarely creates the desired change. Together, take a look at the problem area and come to a shared vision of how you want the

don’t have to fall into traditional roles. If your spouse/partner is a great cook or can fluff and fold the laundry better, let him. If you prefer landscaping and keeping the car detailed, swap responsibilities, and don’t be afraid to ask for or accept help.

Finally, if you find that your unique styles are causing distress to your relationship, you can get outside help.

Let a professional who can provide an objective view help set up systems that will work for both of you.

Mary Dykstra MBA, CPO is a Certified Professional Organizer, speaker and Time Management Coach. She is immediate past Director of Examination Development for The Board of Certified Professional Organizers and a current Industry Member Board Director of National Association of Professional Organizers. Her website is www.withinreach.biz.

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past. Doesn’t have to be headline creating. Have you ever vocalized your opinion to others, even if it was an unpopular one? Have you ever given up a chance at recognition so that someone else could have the spotlight? Have you ever risked your reputation in order to protect someone else’s privacy? Every one of those is courageous, and worthy of remembering, even if we only do so in our heads.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat Lather, rinse, repeat. How many times have you read those instructions on a shampoo bottle? They’re always the same, yet we read them (repeatedly) and follow them (repeatedly). Repetition isn’t a new concept. Advertisers have known for years that a message must be heard three to five times for it to really sink into buyers’ brains.

Therefore, we see the same ads over and over again, and soon find ourselves singing the jiggles. (C’mon, I know you’re thinking of one right now. Go ahead, belt it out!)

Furthermore, psychological research finds that repetition is one of the easiest and most widespread methods of persuasion. When we’re exposed to a message repeatedly, it becomes more familiar.

Because of the way our mind works, what’s familiar also seems true.

Enter the politicians, who repeat the same messages, even if it has nothing to do with a question they’ve been asked.

Why couldn’t these same theories hold true with courage? I’ve spoken many times about the different kind of courage we women have. For us, it’s more often a mental state of mind than physical action. So if, as the research above suggests, our courage becomes something familiar to us, thinking of ourselves as being courageous will seem a reality.

The challenge now is how to get the courage message into our brains. One way is to think of times we’ve been courageous in the

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Now let’s add a little visualization. Rather than calling upon actual memories, allow your mind to create scenarios where you could be courageous in the future. Think about people in your life who could be helped by your courageous acts, or who could be harmed if you failed to act. Think about upcoming events that will require your courage. These could include helping an aging or ailing relative, asking for a promotion or pay raise, challenging someone’s statements that just don’t seem right.

Finally, create physical reminders of your courage. Make sticky notes with the message, “I am a woman of courage,” in places where you’ll see them - your car, your bathroom mirror, stuck to your lipstick tube. And each time you see one, repeat the phrase in your head.

Combining actual memories of courage, visualization of courage, and courage stickies accomplish the same thing the advertisers and politicians do: they repeat the message that you are courageous.

And the more times we’re exposed to a message, the more likely it is to seem true to us.

So forget lather, rinse, repeat, and say instead, “I am a woman of courage.” Repeat (and say it with me). “I am a woman of courage.” Repeat.

Judy Pearson is the founder of Courage Concepts, an organization which fosters courage in women through seminars and Courage Conventions. Judy is also the author of magazine and newspaper articles, as well as two books about ordinary people who exhibited extraordinary courage. Her latest, Wolves at the Door, has been optioned for a movie.

Puppy Love Cyndi Lunni, DVM

Not everyone is fortunate enough to have their destiny influenced by a wayward turtle. But Dr. Cynthia Lunni, veterinarian for over fourteen years and co-owner of the Portage Animal Hospital, was just that lucky. “I had just graduated with a BS in biology and was considering going into human medicine,” she says, “when a boyfriend and I were driving. I shouted for him to stop, so I could scoop a turtle out of the middle of the road. I got back in the car and it just hit me. I should go to vet school.” Cyndi was accepted into the competitive veterinary program at Michigan State, and that boyfriend is now her husband. She never doubted the inspiration that came to her in the car that day, even when her mother asked the inevitable question, “What about becoming a real (human) doctor?”

as much as her medical knowledge. “The biggest misconception about this job is that you just have to love animals,” she explains.

“Every animal that walks through our door comes with a person, and that person needs to feel comfortable and informed too.”

Right now, Cyndi’s house is “at its peak,” with four cats, a dog and some fish in addition to her 9-year-old son and 3-year-old daughter.

She loves reading, attending her son’s hockey games, taking ice skating lessons with her daughter, and completing all of her own landscaping projects. She has a passion for travel as well. Cyndi and her husband are currently planning an anniversary trip to visit Hadrian’s Wall in northern England.

But isn’t she? Emotions can run very high in an exam room, and Cyndi needs to draw on her empathy and ability to read people just

- Chloe Herakovic

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Chocolate Delights

with Jenny Harper courtesy of Nestlé

Jenny Harper is Consumer Test Kitchen Project Manager for the Nestlé Test Kitchens and VeryBestBaking.com.

Chocolate Caramel Brownies Makes 24 brownies 1 1 1 1/2 35 2

package (18.25 ounces) chocolate cake mix cup chopped nuts cup Nestlé Carnation Evaporated Milk, divided cup (1 stick) butter or margarine, melted (10-ounce package) caramels, unwrapped cups (12-oz. pkg.) Nestlé Toll House Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels

PREHEAT oven to 350° F. COMBINE cake mix and nuts in large bowl. Stir in 2/3 cup evaporated milk and butter (batter will be thick). Spread half of batter into ungreased 13 x 9-inch baking pan.

BAKE for 15 minutes.

HEAT caramels and remaining evaporated milk in small saucepan over low heat, stirring constantly, until caramels are melted. Sprinkle morsels over brownie; drizzle with caramel mixture.

DROP remaining batter by heaping teaspoon over caramel mixture.

BAKE for 25 to 30 minutes or until center is set. Cool in pan on wire rack. Cut into 24 squares.

Very Best Fudge This recipe makes 4 pounds or 48, 2-piece servings

3 cups granulated sugar 1 can (12 fluid ounces) Nestlé Carnation Evaporated Milk 1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter or margarine 1/2 teaspoon salt 4 cups miniature marshmallows 4 cups (24 ounces) or two 12-ounce packages Nestlé Toll House Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels 1 cup chopped pecans or walnuts (optional) 2 teaspoons vanilla extract LINE 13 x 9-inch baking pan or two 8-inchsquare baking pans with foil.

COMBINE sugar, evaporated milk, butter and salt in 4- to 5-quart heavy-duty saucepan. Bring to a full rolling boil over medium heat, stirring constantly. Boil, stirring constantly, for 4 to 5 minutes. Remove from heat.

STIR in marshmallows, morsels, nuts and vanilla extract. Stir vigorously for 1 minute or until marshmallows are melted. Pour into prepared pan(s). Refrigerate for 2 hours or until firm. Lift from pan; remove foil. Cut into pieces.

Store tightly covered in refrigerator.

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Toll House Party Mix Makes 8 servings 2 2 1 1

cups toasted cereal squares cups small pretzel twists cup dry-roasted peanuts cup (about 20) caramels, unwrapped and coarsely chopped 1-2/3 to 2 cups (11- to 12-oz. pkg.) Nestlé Toll House Semi-Sweet Chocolate, Milk Chocolate, Butterscotch Flavored or Premier White Morsels COAT 13 x 9-inch baking pan with nonstick cooking spray.

COMBINE cereal, pretzels, peanuts and caramels in large bowl.

MICROWAVE morsels in medium, uncovered, microwave-safe bowl on MEDIUM-HIGH (70%) power for 1 minute; STIR. Morsels may retain some of their original shape. If necessary, microwave at additional 10- to 15-second intervals, stirring just until morsels are melted. Pour over cereal mixture; stir to coat evenly.

SPREAD mixture in prepared baking pan; cool for 30 to 45 minutes or until firm. Break into bite-size pieces.

Store in airtight container.

Warm Cherry Bread Pudding with Chocolate Sauce Makes 6 servings Bread Pudding 18 1/2-inch slices (1 pound loaf) Challah or other egg bread 1 can (12 fluid ounces) Nestlé Carnation Evaporated Milk 1/2 cup water 4 large eggs 1-1/4 cups granulated sugar 1 tablespoon vanilla extract 1 package (6 ounces) dried cherries (about 1-1/3 cups) Chocolate Sauce 1 cup (6 ounces) Nestlé Toll House Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels 2/3 cup (5 fluid-ounce can) Nestlé Carnation Evaporated Milk 1 teaspoon vanilla extract For Bread Pudding: PREHEAT oven to 400° F. Grease six 6-ounce ramekins.

USE a 2 1/2-inch-round cookie cutter or glass to cut circles in bread slices (save remnants for another use). Place on ungreased baking sheet.

Bake for 5 minutes or until golden brown.

Remove from oven. Reduce oven temperature to 350° F. COMBINE evaporated milk, water and sugar in medium, heavy-duty saucepan. Cook over low heat, stirring occasionally, until sugar is dissolved.

Whisk eggs in large bowl. Gradually whisk warm milk mixture into eggs. Stir in rum and vanilla extract.

PLACE prepared ramekins on baking sheet.

Place one bread round in each ramekin. Top with level tablespoon of cherries. Repeat layers, then top each ramekin with a third bread round. Divide custard mixture among ramekins. Let stand for 30 minutes, pressing down on bread occasionally.

BAKE for 25 to 27 minutes or until tops are puffed and brown. (Puddings will rise over edge of ramekin but shrink slightly on cooling.) Let cool on wire rack for 10 minutes. Serve with Chocolate Sauce.

For Chocolate Sauce: COMBINE morsels and evaporated milk in small, heavy-duty saucepan. Cook over low heat, stirring frequently, until morsels are melted. Remove from heat; stir in vanilla extract. Makes about 1 cup. Store any remaining sauce tightly covered in refrigerator.

Rich 'N Creamy Mint Cocoa Makes 10 1/2-cup servings

2 cans (12 fluid ounces each) Nestlé Carnation Evaporated Milk 1-2/3 cups (10-ounce package) Nestlé Toll House Dark Chocolate & Mint Morsels 1 cup water 1 teaspoon vanilla extract Topping suggestions: Whipped cream and Nestlé Toll House Baking Cocoa HEAT evaporated milk, morsels and water in medium, heavy-duty saucepan over medium-low heat, stirring frequently, until hot (do not boil). Remove from heat.

Stir in liqueur and vanilla extract.

POUR into ten 4-ounce demitasse cups or five mugs.

Top with whipped cream and dusting of cocoa.

VARIATION: Substitute evaporated lowfat 2% milk for the regular evaporated milk.

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www.junkmarketstyle.com, and appearing on NBC’s The Today Show as the junking expert. Whitney has also written three instructional books on the topic.

“Integrating junk in your home decor is not confined to flea market decorating,” says Whitney. “I love flea market shopping, but there are countless other spots sweet on junk. Salvage yards, used restaurant supply stores and farm sales are just a few of the many alternatives.”

Here are a few of her suggestions on how to cozy up your home for the cool weather season:

Courtesty ARAcontent

Junk Style from the Junk Pile While it might be counterintuitive, a great way to spruce up your home is with… junk?

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• A little repositioning of furniture and accessories, a change of accent color, and a few new junk acquisitions or creative projects will take you down the transition highway quickly and easily. For example, tightening up your conversation pits will make your rooms seem cozier. You can achieve this by simply moving your furniture a bit closer and adding a few extra accessory junk pieces. When it’s cool outside, the closer, the better.

• Vintage pillows and throws are staples in the junking world. Trade in your light and bright cotton throws for ones with darker colors and cozy wool. Accent pillows with contrasting vintage textiles on either side will take you directly from one season to the next with a single flip.

There’s a growing trend called “junking,” which involves incorporating junk in your home decor. This allows for imaginative self-expression, endless possibilities for original design, and the ability to make your interiors stylishly green.

• Thoughtfully combining colors and textures is a key element in cultivating good junk design. Trends include all basic and neutrals. Galvanized metal, warm woods, whitewashed architectural salvage and weathered concrete pieces provide a stunning and timeless backdrop for your home.

Sue Whitney knows how to breathe new life into things some would consider junk. She’s been leading the trend for the last decade, founding the premiere junking website

For projects and more creative junking ideas from Sue Whitney, visit www.gorillatough.com.

Valentine’s Day: Let’s Talk To Each Other!

Many women find Valentine’s Day just as stressful as that proverbial visit to family and relatives during the holidays where everyone zeros in on you, like in Bridget Jones’ Diary, to give you the annual third degree: “Are you seeing anyone?

What happened to Bob, the dentist?” “How are you and that husband of yours getting on?”

On Valentine’s Day though, you’re the one giving yourself the third degree. How are you and that husband of yours getting on? Is he going to surprise you with a beautiful piece of jewelry and a dinner at the best restaurant in town, or is he going to the basketball game with his drinking buddies?

Here’s news for you: many guys resent being forced to show their feelings on cue, especially when they know it’s all marketing gimmick to make money for card companies and restaurants. It’s not that they don’t love you.

Actually the best Valentine’s gift you can give each other is to learn how to communicate better. As a mediator for divorcing couples, I face the problems of poor communication every day.

In many cases it’s why they’re with me in the first place. It is good when couples agree to work out their differences with the help of a neutral mediator. It lessens the possibility of a high conflict court battle pursing.

My job is to help couples learn how to communicate with each other in a productive, more respectful way so they can focus on their future needs instead of calling each other names.

When couples communicate effectively about important issues, they get their message across and correctly interpret what they’re hearing from the other person by clearly stating facts, concerns and the problems those facts are creating.

If the other person is an effective communicator, he or she is actively listening to these facts and concerns, not just waiting for the other person to finish (or rudely interrupting) rather then name calling and yelling.

In difficult mediations where the parties have so much anger and resentment, it’s like watching a verbal dog fight. Bad communicators will react by crossing their arms, rolling their eyes and just seething, waiting to lash out at the other person.

The couple needs to be separated, take time out to think about, verbalize, and make a list of the facts behind the issue, the problems it raised, and the emotions involved.

An experienced mediator helps each person think of possible alternatives or non-threatening ways the problem could be handled in the future. Most important is focusing on the pertinent facts and the future, not rehashing baggage from the past. It is possible to make each person create scenarios that will work to eliminate their concerns and improve their communications in the future, with the least cost and emotion to the other side.

If couples had learned to communicate better on their own, I might be out of a job as a mediator.

Valentine sales might even go up.

By Jeff Murphy Principal, Mediation Services of Southwest Michigan ©2009 T. Jefferson Murphy Mediation Services of Southwest Michigan www.JeffMurphyMediator.com

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Promotes Heart Health

Make It Your

MISSION To Fight Heart Disease in Women

Heart disease is still the No. 1 killer of women, taking the life of 1 in 3 women each year. ore than 42 million American women are living with one or more types of cardiovascular disease, yet only one in five women view heart disease as their greatest health threat. In fact, more women die of cardiovascular disease than the next five causes of death combined, including cancer.

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This means women just like you – mothers, sisters, friends – are dying at the rate of one per minute. In fact, in the time it takes to read this, another woman will die from heart disease.

Make it your mission to fight against heart disease in women. We hope the stories on the follow pages, along with heart healthy tips and resources, inspire you.

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10 Reasons to Make It Your Mission • Heart disease is still the No. 1 killer of women age 20 and over, killing approximately one woman every minute.

• More women die of cardiovascular disease than the next four causes of death combined, including all forms of cancer.

• While 1 in 30 American women die of breast cancer, about 1 in 3 die of cardiovascular disease.

• Only 1 in 5 women believes that heart disease is her greatest health threat.

• Ninety percent of women have one or more risk factors for developing heart disease.

• Eighty percent of cardiac events in women could be prevented if women made the right choices for their hearts involving diet, exercise and abstinence from smoking.

• Hispanic women are likely to develop heart disease 10 years earlier than non-Hispanic caucasian women.

• More than 8 percent of Hispanics age 18 and older have heart disease.

• African-American women are at greater risk for heart disease, stroke and other cardiovascular diseases than Caucasians.

• African-American females have higher death rates from heart disease, stroke and other cardiovascular diseases than white females.

Promotes Heart Health Wom en W i nning the Fight Agai ns t Hea rt Dis eas e

Georgia Leventis-Molina – Stroke Survivor To look at Georgia LeventisMolina of Kalamazoo, you would never think that this vibrant twenty-nine year old woman is dealing with serious health issues. And yet, she’s survived a stroke and open-heart surgery.

“It started out as a back injury. The week prior I’d hurt my back but it led to a stapf infection that attacked parts of my body internally,” said Leventis-Molina. “One morning I woke up and couldn’t see straight. My husband immediately took me to Borgess Medical Center. They ran some tests and determined that I had a septic infection and it had attacked my heart. Some of the infection had gone into my vascular system and caused the stroke.”

Leventis-Molina was placed into a medically-induced coma for about a week, after which time she was told she’d likely need a mechanical valve for her heart. Yet, a mechanical valve also requires on-going medication that can make it difficult to bear children, something that was important to her and her new husband.

Her cardiologist, Sreenivas Kamath, M.D., F.A.C.C. of The Heart Center for excellence and Borgess Health System, along with her other doctors, kept her hospitalized for a month and sent her to the University of Michigan for additional treatment. When her open-heart surgery was performed, the surgeons were able to place a band and a ring around her tricuspid valve, healing the damage and giving her hope that she may one day carry a baby.

“My husband, Jody, and our son Zariah, were right there supporting me every step of the way and my family and thirteen year old are such cheerleaders,” said Leventis-Molina, who will need to monitor her health closely from now on. “My desire is that more people learn the signs and symptoms of a stroke and know to treat it like an emergency. If Jody hadn’t taken me in right away and I’d waited another day, they say I might not have survived this.”

A Healthier LifeStyle What about physical activity?

• Regular physical activity reduces your risk of heart attack and stroke and makes your heart stronger.

• It helps control your weight and blood pressure, helps you relax, and can improve your mood!

• Check with your doctor before you start if you’ve been inactive a long time.

• Start slow and build up to a total of 30 to 60 minutes on most or all days of the week.

• Look for chances to be more active. Take 10 to 15-minute walking breaks during the day or after meals.

How do I change my eating habits?

• Ask your doctor, nurse or licensed nutritionist for help.

• Choose less often foods like egg yolks, fatty meats, skinon chicken, butter and cream.

• Cut down on saturated fat, trans fat, sugar and salt.

• Substitute fat-free or low-fat milk for whole milk.

• Bake, broil, grill, roast and poach — don’t fry foods in oil.

• Eat fruits, vegetables, cereals, dried peas and beans, pasta, fish, skinless poultry and lean meats.

• Limit alcohol to one drink a day for women and two for men, and if you don’t drink, don’t start.

February 2011

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Promotes Heart Health Women W i nning the Fight Against Heart Di sease

Cheryl Holmes – Heart Disease Survivor

Despite her intuition, she trusted her doctor’s advice that her symptoms were normal for pregnancy at her age and pushed the doubts out of her mind. Following the safe birth of her son, Cheryl’s shortness of breath and swelling persisted. “They again told me that this was normal and sent me home.”

But when Cheryl returned to the hospital the next morning with shortness of breath, doctors finally diagnosed her with congestive heart failure and cardiomyopathy. While in the hospital, she lost 50 pounds of fluid and her swelling finally subsided. After leaving the hospital, Cheryl faced another uphill battle—her heart was now functioning at only 15 percent.

Cheryl began a strict medication regimen in addition to a complete overhaul of her outlook on life. “Before, I thought I had to be super woman. I had to be all things

to all people. I literally had a list of things on my mind all the time, rather than enjoying life.”

Cheryl believes her experience with heart disease has actually calmed her nerves. Today, she spends more time loving herself and others, rather than worrying. “I felt released,” she says thoughtfully.

With this fresh perspective, Cheryl is determined to get the women in her life talking to one another about heart disease and encouraging their doctors to listen.

“When you know something is wrong, you need to stand up for yourself. You know your body.”

Cheryl isn’t afraid to talk about her experience, either.

“I raise awareness among those next to me. I believe that if you can tell one person, they’ll in turn tell one another and increase awareness of heart disease. To me, that’s empowering.” With that kind of contagious spirit, Cheryl is out to raise awareness among women everywhere.

She says it best: “I Go Red For WOMEN!”

Wom en W i nning the Fight Against Heart Di sease

Katy Coffy – Heart Attack Survivor Katy fit the bill of health all her life. She was a marathon runner, ate a heart-healthy diet and was well aware of her family’s poor health history. Yet despite “doing everything right,” at only 28 years old, Katy suffered a massive heart attack.

Katy knew she would inherit her family’s history of heart disease someday, but she never imagined it would affect her at such a young age. “My father had triple bypass surgery when I was six months old, so I had always grown up eating very well and exercising.” Things were going great for her. She was engaged to be married and excited about the future. But one evening after dinner, everything changed. She woke up in the middle of the night nauseous, thinking she had food poisoning. It wasn’t until she felt extreme pressure in her chest that she realized what was going on.

“I couldn’t breathe, I was sweating profusely, my color was horrible and I just knew. I woke my fiancé up and said “Oh no, I think I have my Dad’s heart.’” As a nurse, Katy had a clear understanding of the signs of a heart attack in women, and she was aware of her personal risk.

She immediately went to the hospital, where doctors were able to evacuate a blood clot. Doctors confirmed that the only reason Katy was alive was due to her healthy lifestyle.

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February 2011

Unfortunately, her heart wouldn’t be able to withstand any more running.

“I was really scared and I couldn’t believe that it was happening to me because I had done everything I was supposed to do to take care of myself. Still, while I was having these feeling there was a little gratitude and I felt lucky knowing my heart was okay because I had done those things.”

Shortly after her heart attack, Katy suffered another heartwrenching blow when the stress from the experience strained her relationship with her fiancé, ultimately ended their engagement. The experience of almost losing her life and then losing her partner almost consumed her but she found hope in the end.

“Some of my relationships did change as a result of having gotten sick. I didn’t marry my fiancé, but my relationship with my family was strengthened. It made us realize just how precious life really is.” Despite it all, Katy didn’t let her heart attack and broken heart keep her down. She’s made it her mission to enjoy life and recently received approval from her doctor to train for her first post-recovery half marathon.

“I want women to know that heart disease doesn’t have to equal death, that life goes on after heart disease and you can have a beautiful and healthy life.

courtesy of the American Heart Association www.goredforwomen.org

Cheryl prides herself on knowing her body inside-out.

So when she began experiencing breathing difficulties and extreme swelling two weeks before the birth of her third child, she went straight to her doctor. “I felt like I was dying,” she recalls.

Promotes Heart Health 10 Foods in Red courtesy of the American Heart Association • www.goredforwomen.org

Red Berry Squares: Make strawberry-flavored gelatin mixed with fresh strawberries and raspberries. Cut into squares before serving.

Frozen Watermelon Bites: Alternate frozen cubes of watermelon and mint leaves on a skewer and serve cold.

Ravin’ Red Smoothie: Blend 1 cup low-fat yogurt, 1⁄2 cup frozen strawberries, 1⁄2 cup frozen raspberries and 1 frozen banana.

Red Pasta: Cook whole-wheat spaghetti and top with low sodium marinara sauce, diced tomatoes or sun-dried tomatoes.

Baked Red Apple Dessert: Fill 1 whole red apple (cored) with 1⁄4 cup chopped almonds, 1⁄4 cup dried cranberries, 1 tsp. honey, and 1 tsp. brown sugar. Bake for 15 minutes at 350°F or until sugar bubbles.

Perfect Polenta: Cook polenta and mix with roasted cherry tomatoes, roasted red bell pepper, and sun-dried tomato.

Stuffed Red Bell Peppers: Stuff 1 red bell pepper (cored) with 1⁄2 cup cooked brown rice, 1⁄4 diced red onion, 1⁄4 cup ground turkey (browned), 1 Tbs. parsley, salt and pepper.

Bake at 350°F for 15 minutes or until pepper is heated through.

Roasted Red Cabbage Salad: In a large bowl, combine 2 cups chopped red cabbage (roasted), 1⁄2 cup red onion (thinly sliced and sautéed), 1⁄4 cup red wine vinegar, 1 Tbs. olive oil, and sea salt.

Red Bean Salsa: Combine 2 cups red beans, 1⁄2 cup diced red onions, 1 cup diced red tomato, 1⁄4 cup diced jalapeño (remove seeds), 1⁄4 cup chopped parsley, 2 Tbs. lemon juice, salt and pepper.

Versatile Apples: Have an apple with breakfast, lunch, dinner or even for dessert.

For more heart-healthy recipes visit GoRedForWomen.org/betterU or visit ShopGoRed.org

February 2011

23

How to Get What You Want with What You Say

By Marty Stanley Are you tired of not getting what you want? Do you feel like you’re not being heard?

Removing barriers to clear communication and carefully choosing your words can help you get what you want – without the drama.

Sometimes I think we spend more time crafting our words to order coffee than we do to communicate goals, expectations, preferences or disappointments.

I used to order “a double mocha frappacino with a shot of espresso, skinny, Grande in a Venti cup, with a shake of nutmeg and vanilla bean. “Now, I just order a small coffee. It’s a lot easier, and I get what I want: A cup of coffee. Plain and simple.

“Bill, I have a request. I love spending time with you. Can we spend time each weekend doing something together – just the two of us? How about this weekend we go to a hockey game?”

In this example there is no drama or blame. The request is clear and an option is given for an activity to do together. NOTE: it’s important to start by providing an option that will ensure participation and not something that would make him cringe.

Remember, when making your request, you need to be prepared for it to be declined or engage in a counter offer. If you’re not willing to accept a “no” or a counter offer, then don’t make a request.

If you’re seeking clarity and simplicity in your communication, here’s how:

Align your thoughts and your words.

If you’re not getting what you want, I invite you to step back and listen to your choice of words. Are you clear about what you really want before you start talking?

Forget instant messaging and texting and other “on-demand” communications for a moment. Instead, take a few moments to determine what it is you really want – the intended outcome you want from this interaction. Not sure?

Write it down. Read it. Out loud. Is that what you want?

If not, continue writing until you’ve found the clarity and simplicity of your thoughts.

Once you have aligned your thoughts and words to your desired outcome, you’re ready to express yourself with clarity, conviction and compassion – or at least, without blame, judgment, drama or exaggeration.

(Whenever there is drama around a situation, you can be assured that clear communication is going to be compromised. In these situations, it’s even more critical to step back and be objective about the end result you desire.)

Make a request.

One way to reduce the clutter in your communication and get what you want is to make a request. A request is similar to an invitation. When you receive an invitation, you can accept it or decline. In addition, a “request” can provide an opportunity for a counter offer.

When you start a sentence with the words, “I have a request,” it forces you to be clear about what you want. It also alerts the listener to pay attention, without the fear, manipulation or apprehension that can happen when someone barks “I need this now!” or candy-coats “Can you do me a favor?”

For example, instead of blurting out: “You never spend any time with me!” think through how you want to come across as a loving spouse or partner. Align your thoughts, words and actions to that image. Now you’re ready make your request:

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February 2011

State your expectations.

Sometimes we think we’ve communicated expectations, but maybe we’ve only been rehearsing the dialogue in our heads. Did you actually tell the person what is expected?

Or did you say something like: “you should know …”

Saying “you should know” can put the other person on the defensive and rarely results in a good outcome. Barking orders yields similar results. Instead of saying to your kids, “I’m not your maid. Your room is a pig sty.” Try this: “Emma, we agreed that your allowance is based on keeping your room clean. That means your bed is made every day and clothes are hung up or in the hamper after wearing them. If you don’t do this consistently, we’ll have to suspend your allowance.”

Make sure your expectations are reasonable and have been clearly communicated. Holding others accountable is important, and they need to know what will happen if they don’t fulfill expectations.

Keep your promises.

If you say you’ll do something, do it. If you find you’re over committed or can’t follow through, the best thing you can do is acknowledge it to the person to whom you made the commitment. Do it as soon as you’re aware that you can’t keep the promise.

The best way to have others keep their promises to you is to model this behavior. For example, if you said you’d take the kids to the mall but only said it to get them off your back, they’ll quickly learn that you don’t keep your word, which gives them permission to do the same. Or if you volunteered for a committee but find you’re over committed, find a way to replace yourself or acknowledge that you’re not able to finish the project. Otherwise you’ll earn a reputation as someone who can’t be counted on.

Again, there’s no need for drama. Think twice before making a promise. Keep your word. If not, acknowledge the lack of follow through and re-commit, when appropriate.

Marty Stanley is an author, speaker and executive coach. She owns Dynamic Dialog, Inc. and her website is www.alteringoutcomes.com.

Valentine Gift Ideas Every month WLSK is pleased to focus on local businesses from the Buy Local Kalamazoo organization. We encourage our readers to stop by and visit these vital industries that help to keep Kalamazoo strong. Buy Local Kalamazoo grew out of an interest on the part of local business owners and consumers to distinguish businesses that support the local economy. We have a unique community of businesses that enhance the character and integrity of the Kalamazoo area.

Kazoo Books I and II Friendly, fuzzy store cats greet you when you walk into Kazoo Books I or II. Kazoo Books is an independent bookstore, owned by Gloria Tiller.

Offering quality used books, select new titles, and book ordering services, Kazoo Books has been serving Kalamazoo since 1988. They opened their second store, Kazoo Books II in 2003.

With over 70,000 books to select from at the Kazoo Books (407 N. Clarendon, Kalamazoo) and over 20,000 books at Kazoo Books II (2413 Parkview, Kalamazoo) location, you can spend hours just perusing the shelves. Just mention, “I am looking for,” and you will be helped by friendly clerks who will search diligently until your book is found.

New books can be ordered through distributors. as well as directly from the publisher. A discount on new books may be available.

Inventory is provided by customers, or “trade-ins.” Some stock comes from estates or new stock from distributors. Every book is cleaned and inspected to insure that they are in good condition.

Kazoo Books carries some collectable old and rare stock. Out-ofprint books may be found on their shelves as well as an online inventory. Their internet business ships worldwide, with 15% of Kazoo Books found online.

Kazoo Books, is proud to be an independent family-owned and community minded store. www.kazoobooks.com, 1-800-516-2665; Kazoo Books - 269-385-2665 Kazoo Books II - 269-553-6506.

Guiding Principles • The welfare of a community relies on the health of the local economy.

• Independent business is the foundation for a successful, thriving local economy.

• Alliances among independent businesses yield new opportunities and are at the root of economic growth and development.

WHY BUY LOCALLY?

Our Future!

Because you’ll be living with the results! Every dollar you spend decides what your community will become.

American Independent Business Alliance

WHY BUY LOCALLY?

Choices!

A multitude of independent businesses catering to their individual clientele creates greater choices for all of us.

American Independent Business Alliance

Patti Emanuele is a freelance writer and author of six books who has contributed to newspapers, magazines and other publications. Her writing experience includes teaching English and writing skills to adults, writing fundraising and corporate materials, copy for commercials and other aspects of advertising.

February 2011

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February 2011

Tailor Finances To Fit Your Stage In Life

T

he media offers a lot of advice on picking the best stocks, but not enough is written about selecting the best strategies based on your age and stage in life.

As you transition from one stage to another, you should monitor your financial strategy to make sure it is appropriate and continues to meet your goals.

In her book How Much Is Enough? Balancing Today’s Needs With Tomorrow’s Retirement Goals, Certified Financial Planner Diane McCurdy offers some excellent advice that can help you judge your progress and determine whether you are on track.

Ages 20 to 35: This is the time you can afford to take risks and use your youthful energy to chase your dreams. It also is prudent to start a good credit history by paying your bills on time. Establish credit by setting aside some savings as collateral for a line of credit at your bank. You may need to borrow money someday and you do not want to be turned down for lack of credit or worse, for bad credit. Paying your utilities, rent, and cell phone bills on time establishes a good payment history. If you get behind, talk to them. It is never better to ignore them.

Start a systematic savings program with a minimum 10 percent of your income. You have heard the old adage, “Pay yourself first”.

Starting a disciplined habit of living off less than you make now will make it easier for you to continue doing so throughout your whole life. This is the time to created a savings habit. If you want kids, build reserves. If you already have kids, think about their future and then plan appropriately. College savings plans can really help with this. Most importantly, develop a wish list and yearly goals, even if your first priority is to have fun.

Ages 35 to 50: Start paying down the mortgage and max out your retirement plan.

If you have not addressed your insurance needs, determine them now. The greatest asset for most people is their ability to earn

income. Make sure you have adequate disability and life insurance. Review your property and casualty insurance annually to make sure your coverage and deductables match your needs.

When investing, allocate smaller portions of the portfolio to really risky investments. This is usually the most expensive time of life.

According to Harry S Dent, who studies trends in spending and age, we spend our largest dollars between age 47 and 49. But it is important not to try to replace the spent savings by trying to make it up in the market.

Always remember that it’s time in the market that makes the difference, not market timing.

Also, revisit your wish list and see what you can afford … you earned it!

Ages 50 to 65: If you have not already done so, face facts and get serious about your financial future to make sure you have “enough.” Clean up debt now, not when you have to live off of savings. The goal should be to pay off most of your debt by age 55. If you are not there, make this a priority.

Retirement is much more achievable when you can cover your basic needs from your fixed income resources. Use your investments for the extras.

Understand that it is never too late to save money. If both spouses are working, try living on one income and sock the rest away both inside and outside a qualified retirement plan.

You will be surprised at how fast your assets can grow. Every little bit extra that you can start putting aside will be useful in your retirement years. Recent articles and studies clearly show that most people age 50 and older have not saved enough, and will be making serious changes in their lifestyles. You don’t have to make major sacrifices to save a little each week. If you smoke a pack a day, reduce to 4 packs a week. If you eat lunch out every day, pack lunch two days a week. If you shop every weekend, go every other weekend instead. Read a book, instead of renting a movie every week. All these little things will not

change your current lifestyle drastically, but they will make a significant difference later on.

If you still have not addressed insurance issues, do not procrastinate any further. Just make a decision to either be insured, underinsured, or uninsured, and then plan your finances accordingly. If you have accumulated enough to be self insured, you may not need as much insurance. Buying long-term care insurance while you are young and healthy is something you should consider if it is applicable. Medical expenses alone are expected to exceed $250,000 per person during our retirement years. Do you have enough saved to cover that and still pay all your other living expenses?

Ages 65 and beyond: Savings, pension, and Social Security are the three legs of the retirement stool. Most pension plans are going by the wayside, so we need to put more away in our own savings. It is anticipated that we may not be able to count on as much from Social Security either. If congress is able to come up with a viable solution to this problem, that would be icing on the cake, but let’s not count too heavily on it just yet.

Michael Stein, author of The Prosperous Retirement, summarizes the different stages of retirement as follows: “Go Go, Slow Go, and No Go.” The first phase of retirement, which Stein calls the “Active Phase,” is when you should travel and enjoy yourself. It could last many years depending on your health. However, this will only happen if you have planned properly. If you are not quite there, you should consider working part time in retirement doing something you enjoy, a fourth leg of the retirement stool.

Securities and investment advisory services offered through Woodbury Financial Services, Inc PO Box 64284, St Paul MN 55164-0284, 800-800-2638. Member FINRA/SIPC and Registered Investment Advisor. Woodbury Financial Services, Inc. is not affiliated with Derby Financial & Associates, LLC. Sandy K. Derby, CFP®, ChFC has been in the financial services industry since 1989. She was recently selected as one of America’s Top Financial Planners by Consumers Research Council of America. Sandy is President of Derby Financial & Assoc. LLC, where our goal is to help women become financially secure and independent, through comprehensive financial planning. Sandy can be reached at sandykderby@derbyfinancial.net or 269-321-5047.

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Ham and Greens Quiche

Soul Good!

Serves 6; 1 wedge per serving Cooking spray Crust 3/4 cup water 1/2 cup uncooked whole-wheat couscous 2 tablespoons egg white or egg substitute Filling 10 ounces frozen chopped turnip greens 1 teaspoon olive oil 1/2 cup chopped onion 1 teaspoon minced garlic 4 ounces sliced lower-sodium, low-fat ham, diced 2 tablespoons shredded or grated Parmesan cheese 3/4 cup egg substitute 1/2 cup fat-free half-and-half 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg Preheat the oven to 400°F. Lightly spray a 9-inch pie pan with cooking spray.

In a small saucepan, bring the water to a boil over medium-high heat. Stir in the couscous. Remove from the heat and let stand, covered, for 5 minutes, or until most of the water is absorbed.

Chicken Gumbo Serves 4; 1 cup per serving 2 2 1 1 8 1 1 1 2 1 1/2 1/4 1

Stir the egg white into the couscous. Spoon into the pie pan. Form a crust by spreading the mixture over the bottom and up the side, pressing to flatten. Bake for 10 minutes. Turn off the oven. Transfer the pie pan to a cooling rack and let the crust cool completely, about 30 minutes. After about 20 minutes, preheat the oven to 325°F. courtesy Healthy Soul Food Recipes, Copyright © 2010 by the American Heart Association

tablespoons canola or corn oil tablespoons all-purpose flour 14.5-ounce can no-salt-added stewed tomatoes, undrained cup fat-free, low-sodium chicken broth or water ounces boneless, skinless chicken breasts (all visible fat discarded), cut into bite-size pieces cup frozen cut okra, thawed medium onion, chopped medium green bell pepper, chopped medium dried bay leaves teaspoon Worcestershire sauce (lowest sodium available) teaspoon dried thyme, crumbled teaspoon salt teaspoon Louisiana hot sauce or red hot-pepper sauce

Meanwhile, prepare the turnip greens using the package directions. Drain well in a colander, if needed. Transfer to a medium bowl.

In a small skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat, swirling to coat the bottom. Cook the onion for 5 minutes, stirring frequently. Stir in the garlic.

Cook for 30 seconds, stirring occasionally. Stir the onion mixture and half the ham into the turnip greens. Spoon into the crust. Sprinkle with the remaining ham and Parmesan.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the egg substitute, half-and-half, and nutmeg. Pour into the pie pan. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

In a large nonstick skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat, swirling to coat the bottom. Stir in the flour. Cook for 3 minutes, or until dark brown, stirring constantly. Stir in the tomatoes with liquid, broth, chicken, okra, onion, bell pepper, bay leaves, Worcestershire sauce and thyme. Bring to a simmer. Reduce the heat and simmer, covered, for about 45 minutes, or until the okra is very tender, stirring occasionally. Stir in the salt.

Discard the bay leaves. Ladle the gumbo into bowls. Sprinkle each serving with the hot sauce.

Cook’s Tip: If possible, make the gumbo the day before you plan to eat it so the flavors have more time to blend.

Nutrients per Serving Calories 197 Total Fat 8.0 g Saturated Fat 0.5 g Trans Fat 0.0 g Polyunsaturated Fat 2.0 g Monounsaturated Fat 4.5 g Cholesterol 33 mg Sodium 275 mg

Carbohydrates 15 g Fiber 4 g Sugars 8 g Protein 16 g Dietary Exchanges 3 vegetable 2 lean meat 1/2 fat

Nutrients per Serving Calories 152 Total Fat 2.5 g Saturated Fat 0.5 g Trans Fat 0.0 g Polyunsaturated Fat 0.5 g Monounsaturated Fat 1.0 g Cholesterol 9 mg Sodium 283 mg

Carbohydrates 22 g Sugars 3 g Protein 13 g Dietary Exchanges 1 starch 1 vegetable 1 lean meat

These recipes are reprinted with permission from Healthy Soul Food Recipes, Copyright © 2010 by the American Heart Association. Published by Publications International, Ltd. Look for Healthy Soul Food Recipes at grocery-store checkouts in May, while supplies last, and online at ShopPower.org.

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February 2011

Orange-Ginger Chicken with Broccoli and Apricot-Almond Brown Rice Serves 4; 1 cup chicken and broccoli and 1/2 cup rice per serving

1 teaspoon grated orange zest 1/4 cup fresh orange juice 1 tablespoon soy sauce (lowest sodium available) 2 teaspoons cornstarch 1 teaspoon minced peeled gingerroot 1 teaspoon toasted sesame oil 1 medium garlic clove, minced 1 cup fat-free, low-sodium chicken broth 1/2 cup uncooked instant brown rice 1/4 cup chopped dried apricots 2 tablespoons sliced almonds, dryroasted 1 teaspoon canola or corn oil 1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts, all visible fat discarded, cut into thin strips 4 to 5 ounces small broccoli florets In a small bowl, whisk together the orange zest, orange juice, soy sauce, cornstarch, gingerroot, sesame oil, and garlic. Set aside.

In a medium saucepan, bring the broth, rice, and apricots to a boil over high heat. Reduce the heat and simmer, covered, for 10 to 12 minutes, or until the broth is absorbed. Stir in the almonds. Set aside. Meanwhile, in a wok or large skillet, heat the canola oil over medium heat, swirling to coat the bottom. Cook the chicken for 4 to 5 minutes, or until no longer pink in the center, stirring constantly.

Stir in the broccoli. Cook for 2 to 3 minutes, or until tender-crisp, stirring constantly. Make a well in the center and pour in the reserved orange sauce mixture. Cook for 1 to 2 minutes, or until the sauce is thickened, stirring only in the middle. Stir the chicken mixture into the sauce.

Serve over the rice.

Nutrients Per Serving Calories 255 Total Fat 5.5 g Saturated Fat 1.0 g Trans Fat 0.0 g Polyunsaturated Fat 1.5 g Monounsaturated Fat 2.5 g Cholesterol 66 mg Sodium 205 mg

Carbohydrates 20 g Fiber 2 g Sugars 6 g Protein 30 g Dietary Exchanges 1/2 starch, 1/2 fruit, 1 vegetable, 3 lean meat

This recipe is reprinted with permission from Recipes for the Heart, Copyright Š 2010 by the American Heart Association.

Published by Publications International, Ltd. Available at grocery-store checkouts mid-February and at ShopGoRed.com starting March 2, while supplies last.

February 2011

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3 steps (and 4 tricks) to help you

quit obsessing when your heart s been broken ’

by Vikki Stark

Y

step 3.

Y

ou know the signs: that sick feeling in your stomach, those tossing/turning nights, food that tastes like cardboard and a mind that whirs relentlessly like an old-time computer that refuses to shut down. When a relationship ends, particularly when you didn’t see it coming, your mind is in torment and it’s exhausting.

You’ve been hit by a tsunami and you’re struggling to get your head above water. You’re desperate to understand what happened and what you could have done differently. In other words, you’re obsessed! If you could only get some relief from your thoughts, you’d feel much, much better. But how?

Many people are surprised to learn that we actually have more control over our mind than we think we do. We believe ourselves to be helpless because attempts we make to get our thoughts in line don’t work right away, so we give up. But like most things in life, the more we keep at it, the more successful we become.

First, we have to make some changes:

step 1.

Believe this painful phase won’t last forever.

There’s comfort in recognizing that although you’re suffering now, life won’t always be this hard.

step 2.

Grab back your feelings of self-worth. Just because the one you love no longer loves you does not make a statement about how valuable you are. Don’t let other people define you.

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February 2011

Turn your focus from the past to the future. Push yourself to make plans and visualize how good you’ll feel when you’ve accomplished them.

Harnessing your mind requires practice and a willingness to reach for happiness, even in the midst of your misery. Too often people wrap the victim label around themselves like a protective garment, reluctant to remove it. But if you can get in touch with the healthiest part inside of you, the one that knows you need to keep building a life for yourself, then you can boost your recovery from heartbreak.

No doubt, time is the best healer, but while we’re waiting, here are some tricks you can use to make it through the days: Sweep, Sweep, Sweep. Imagine that your mind is a small, wooden-floored room that keeps getting all dusty and dirty with your negative thoughts.

Now visualize a tiny, inch-high cleaning lady snoozing in the corner of the room, an old-fashioned twig broom leaning against her chair. When your thinking drifts into dangerous territory, wake her up and urge her to “sweep, sweep, sweep” away those pesky thoughts! Imagine her working away furiously, tidying up the floor, sweeping all that unwanted muck out the door and making the place spic ‘n span.

Barking Dog. This simple but effective trick helps you separate yourself from intrusive thoughts. Imagine that you’re walking down the street and you see a dog chained up to a fence next to the sidewalk, barking wildly at you.

Continue on your way down the street knowing that the racket he’s making, which represents the cacophony of thoughts in your head, can’t hurt you. It’s just noise. Hold your head up and keep on walking.

Shake it Off. While we’re on the topic of canines, here’s another very simple option for breaking out of a bad mind-set. You know how a wet dog shakes from head to tail in that goofy way to dry himself off? Well, when you need to lift yourself out of a funk, stand up and literally shake it off.

“Shake, shake, shake” from head to toe, good and hard. Waggle your arms, bobble your head, and jiggle your derrière. It’s guaranteed to break the spell at least a little bit. Try it now!

Paint the Wall. This technique enables you to manage those rotten bad feelings you walk around with. Picture yourself vigorously painting all those angry, hurt, pent-up feelings in strong colors on a great big wall. Use your whole body, jabbing and stroking until the wall is violent with color.

Stand back and take a good look at the turmoil exteriorized. Then imagine grabbing a roller, dipping it in a tray of thick white paint and rolling it criss-cross and up and down until the wall is covered all over with a field of pure white. Stand back again and let yourself exhale. Then inhale and breathe in the clean paint smell!

Recovering relatively unscarred from the unwanted end of a relationship requires that you use all your positive energy to fight off those doom and gloom thoughts holding you back. Happiness is a choice we have to keep making for ourselves at every twist and turn in our lives – the choice to roll up our sleeves and do whatever it takes to keep moving forward – even shaking like a dog!

For more than 25 years, psychotherapist and family counselor Vikki Stark has helped people grow through hard times, solve problems and restore hope for the future.

She is the author of Runaway Husbands: The Abandoned Wife’s Guide to Recovery and Renewal, which grew out of a study of over 400 women who were left out-of-theblue from what they believed to be happy marriages. Learn more at www.runawayhusbands.com.

February 2011

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CALENDAR

of Events

February 1 Journey on the Creative Path 900 Peeler St., Kalamazoo. 7 - 8:30 pm. Connect to your creative potential! Join us in playfully exploring the visual arts, movement, dreams, body awareness, writing, drumming and other expressive/experiential ways of connecting to your self and your creative spirit. $120 for six sessions.

Preregistration required. Call 269-373-7607 or 269-552-9299 , Ext. 2. www.wholelifecounseling.org February 1 – 23 Kalamazoo Indoor Flea & Farmers Market Kalamazoo County Expo Center, Room E. Tuesday and Wednesday: 7 am – 1 pm. Come check out the flea market for great deals on all kinds of new and used items! And while you're here, support your local farmers by picking up some fresh produce, meat, eggs, maple syrup, honey and more! Free.

For booth space, 269-383-8761.

February 1 – 28 Special Exhibit – Michigan Eats!

Kalamazoo Nature Center. Mon - Thurs. & Sat. 9 am - 5 pm; Fri. 9 am - 9 pm; Sun. & Holidays 1 - 5 pm. Michigan Foodways describes the diverse food traditions found around the state with interpretive panels, objects and sound clips. From Michigan State University Museum. Free.

269-373-7990. www.kalamazoomuseum.org February 2 Massage as a Profession Workshop Institute for Massage Education at KCHA, 6350 W KL Ave. 6 – 8 pm. Learn about the realities and rewards of a career in massage therapy. This is a free workshop. 269-373-0910. www.kcha.com

February 4 – 20 Escanaba in Da Moonlight Farmers Alley Theatre. Call for times. Those Super Yoopers are back, in the original classic that started it all! A delight for men and women alike, this winter spend an unforgettable night in the Upper Peninsula without the long drive up north!

Cost: $23 & $25. 269-343-2727. www.farmersalleytheatre.com

It’s easy to get listed in our Events Calendar.

Our deadline is the 10th of the month prior to publication.

Email us at: calendar@womenslifestylekazoo.com Please type Calendar in the subject line.

Or you may mail your info to P. O. Box 2284, Portage MI 49081-2284 February 8, 22 Journey on the Creative Path 900 Peeler St, Kalamazoo. 7 – 8:30 pm. Connect more deeply to your inner experience and your creative spirit! Join our women's group as we playfully explore simple art forms, movement and other expressive/experiential ways of connecting to our inner experience and our creativity. $120 for six sessions. Preregistration required.

269-373-7607. www.wholelifecounseling.org

February 4 – 25 All in the House Kalamazoo Book Arts Center. An Exhibit of art created by Kalamazoo Book Arts Center studio artists, staff, interns and students. Opens at the February Art Hop. Free. 269-373-4938. www.kalbookarts.org

February 9 Mid-Week Sabbath Transformations Spirituality Center. 10 am – Noon.

Embracing the fallow time and naming your heart's desire. $20. More info: www.TransformationsCenter.org or call 269-381-6290 ext. 310.

February 5 Transformations Spirituality Center 9 am - 3 pm. Encourage your man to come to this “day for men” and explore what spirituality means to guys. $65. 269-381-6290 ext. 249 or www.transformationscenter.org

February 9 Cheese-Making Workshop Parchment Community Library, 401 S Riverview Dr, Parchment. Cheese-Making workshop with Gary Colles. Free but registration required at 269-343-7747 or at www.parchmentlibrary.org

February 5 The Art of Paste Painting Kalamazoo Book Arts Center. 10 am – 3 pm. Paste painting is a surface design technique by brushing colored paste onto a sheet of paper and using various tools to move the paste and create an image.

Come experiment with us! $55. 269-373-4938. www.kalbookarts.org

February 9 Hired Hands in Concert Kalamazoo Public Library. 7 – 8:30 pm. An acoustic ensemble from America's heartland. The Hired Hands draws from a salty mix of musical interests to produce an electric sound. Free.

269-553-7880. www.kpl.gov/calendar

February 5 Conceived in Rape, From Worthless to Priceless Newman's Bookshoppe, 340 E Michigan Ave. 2 pm. We welcome Rebecca Keissling as she speaks of learning at eighteen years old she was conceived in rape. Her store is one of hope and love. Free. 269-553-0482. www.newmansbookshoppe.com

February 10 GO RED FOR WOMEN LUNCHEON Radisson Plaza Hotel Kalamazoo Center. 10 am – 1:30 pm. Wrap yourself in RED and prepare for more gPurse-inalities h and passion then ever before. Make a difference in your life and the lives of the women you love. Funds raised for research and education of heart disease in women. More info: 269-806-0425 or Al.Shifflett@heart.org

February 4 National Wear Red Day This is the one day a year when red becomes the most fashionable color in southwestern Michigan.

There is no cost for participating and you can learn more and download materials at www.GoRedForWomen.org or call 1-888-MY-HEART.

February 6 Decorative Boxes Kalamazoo Book Arts Center. 10 am – 3 pm. In this class we will use colorful decorative paste paper to create special boxes with fitter lids. Use these boxes to hold jewelry, store mementos, or give as a gift to a friend. $55. 269-373-4938. www.kalbookarts.org

February 11 Self Care Valentines Day Retreat Awake and Aware. 10 am – 3:30 pm. Open the heart and nourish the whole body with a day of yoga, massage and relaxation. This day includes a delicious organic lunch and decadent treats! Only $89. RSVP Cynthia 269-352-7323 or cynthia@awakeandaware.net

February 6 University Symphony Orchestra Miller Auditorium, WMU. 3 – 5 pm. Free.

269-387-4678. www.wmich.edu/music

February 4 Art Hop Various Locations throughout Downtown Kalamazoo. 5 – 8 pm. Art Hop is a free event that features new art exhibits in a fun, casual atmosphere. Numerous galleries and businesses in the downtown area host a variety of artwork which makes it easy to hop around from one exhibit to the next. Free.

269-342-5059. www.kalamazooarts.com

February 7 Kalamazoo Chapter IAAP Meeting Kalamazoo Regional Educational Service Agency, K-RESA, 1819 E Milham, Portage. Networking pm, dinner at 5:30 pm. Program: gDeep Within Outlook/Outlook Jungle h. $10 for members, $12 for guests, first time guests are free. Reservations at 269-553-2086 or michelle.stickley.cnuz@statefarm.com

February 12 Saturday Library Story Time Kalamazoo Institute of Arts. 11:15 – 11:45 am.

Enjoy fun stories on a different theme each month.

Appropriate for ages 4 to 8. Free. 269-349-7775. www.kiarts.org

February 4 Hearts Afire Park Trades Center, Kalamazoo. 5 – 9 pm. View glass art demonstrations in the Hot Spot and in the Stained Glass Studio. Free. 269-552-9802. www.wmglass.org

February 8 TOWER Professional Network LLC, Portage Chapter Kickoff!

TBA, please check website. Noon – 1 pm. We're launching our second women only networking chapter in the Kalamazoo area! For more information please visit out website www.TOWERProfessionalNetwork.com

February 2 – 28 Peter Acomb and Danielle Burnside Willow Lake Club Gallery, 3707 Greenleaf Circle.

Peter Acomb and Danielle Burnside will be showing oil paintings, mixed media and drawings. The artists reception will be February 18 from 6 – 8 pm. The event is free and open to the public.

269-372-4444.

February 4 DRUMLINE LIVE Miller Auditorium. 8 – 10 pm. DRUMLine live, a show-stopping attraction created by the music team behind the hit movie Drumline, brings showstyle marching bands to the theatrical stage. $35 $15. 269-387-2300. www.millerauditorium.com

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February 8 ARTbreak Kalamazoo Institute or Arts. 12:15 – 1:15 pm. Two films about African American artists with powerful, individual visions. Robert Colescott: The One-Two Punch and Elizabeth Catlett: Sculpting.

269-349-7775. www.kiarts.org

February 2011

February 12 Gold Company Rockin' Through the Years Miller Auditorium. 2 – 4:30 pm. Get ready to rock with the vocal superstars of Gold Company as they take on your favorite rock n' roll hits! Cost: $15 $24. 269-387-2300. www.millerauditorium.com February 12 Date Night at Art Bayou Art Bayou. 6 – 9 pm. Celebrate Valentine's Day and spend some quality adult time together. Take this opportunity to catch up and relax. Feel free to bring your favorite snacks and beverages. Space is limited, please call 269-375-2600 and reserve your seat. 269-375-2600. www.artbayoustudio.com February 12 Couples Valentines Weekend Yoga Retreat Awake and Aware. 7 – 9 pm. Reconnect with your spouse or life partner through this intimate, beginner basic yoga workshop geared towards bonding two hearts together as one! $50 per couple. Please RSVP Kirsten 269-250-0866 or trinityyoga1@yahoo.com

February 12 Go Red For Women Casting Calls Macy's at The Crossroads in Portage. 10:30 am – 12:30 pm. The American Heart Association’s Go Red For Women movement is looking for women or groups of women to share their stories about the choices they have made and the impact those choices have had on their well-being. can have a chance to become the next spokeswoman for Go Red For Women. More info: Al Shifflett III at 269-806-0425.

February 15 Story Corner Kalamazoo Nature Center. 10 – 11 am. Grab a carpet square and listen to stories about nature! We might even get a visit from an animal! Regular KNC admission applies. 269-381-1574. www.naturecenter.org February 15 The Gilmore Rising Stars Recital Series: Gilles Vonsattel, piano Wellspring Theater. 4 pm. Winner of a 2008 Avery Fisher grant, the Swiss-born American pianist is a member of the Lincoln Center Chamber Music Society Two. He performs music by Poulenc, Debussy, Ravel and Honegger. $22, students $5.

269-342-1166. www.TheGilmore.org February 15 The Kalamazoo MI After 5 Women's Connection The Beacon Club, 5830 Portage Road.

6:30 – Adpm. Dedicated To Connecting Women Through Fellowship, Fun And Inspiring Messages.

February Meeting Theme: Hearts And Flowers.

Business Women Are Welcome! $17. Rsvp By Feb. 10 To Karen At 269-290-2216.

February 15 – 17 Blue Man Group Miller Auditorium. 7:30 pm. Blue Man Group is best known for their wildly popular theatrical shows and concerts which combine comedy, music, and technology to produce a totally unique form of entertainment. $18 - $46. 269-387-2300. www.millerauditorium.com February 17 Lewis Black State Theatre. 8 pm. George Carlin, Larry King and Jules Feiffer love Lewis Black. They love him because of his insights and love/hate relationship with America are brilliantly expressed in his concerts and TV appearances worldwide. $45, day of show $50. 269-345-6500. www.kazoostate.com

February 18 Ladies Night Out FUNDRAISER for Cheff Cheff Therapeutic Riding Center.

6 - 9 pm. All ladies welcome to come out! Garden Theme: Forget about winter and think spring!

Wine tasting & appetizers. $20 per person. 269-731-4471.

February 19 New Shanghai Circus Miller Auditorium. 8 – 10 pm. Astonishing athletes defy gravity and execute breathtaking feats as they stretch the limits of human ability in this spellbinding show. Cost: $15 - $35. 269-387-2300. www.millerauditorium.com February 19 Best Friends Saturday Morning Coffee Series Wyndham Apartments, 2300 Portage St. 9 – 11 am. Our popular coffee series provides effective strategies and tools to improve communication with a loved one who has Alzheimer's disease or a

related dementia. Topic: Matters of the Heart.

Events are free and open to the public. Call 269-276-4055 for a reservation.

the practice of asana purely from sensation, and to connect more deeply with the presence and flow of our subtler energies. $20. RSVP Veronique 269-598-2083 or vjewell777@aol.com

February 19 Centering Prayer Day Transformations Spirituality Center. 9 am – 4 pm.

An overview of the history, practice and discipline of centering prayer, a silent communion with God. $50. More info: www.TransformationsCenter.org or call 269-381-6290 ext. 310.

February 26 Super Science Saturday: Astronomy Around the World Air Zoo. The Air Zoo's Super Science Saturday, gAstronomy Around the World, h will take place throughout the day. This 30-minute presentation will occur at 11 am, 1 pm and 3 pm. Free.

269-382-6555. www.airzoo.org

February 19 Dad/Daughter Dance Downtown, Cityscape Event Center. 6:30 – Nterapm. Hosted By Parks & Recreation. Call 269-337-8191 For Ticket Information.

February 20 Wolverine State Archaeological Society Indian Artifact Show Kalamazoo County Expo Center, Room E. 7 am – 3 pm. Buy, sell and trade Indian artifacts from the pre-historic period. Bring your artifacts in to the show for a free appraisal by Todd. Free. More info: 269-665-9084 or paintingapc@sbcglobal.net www.allpointscovered.com February 21 Beyond Words, An Icon Retreat Transformations Spirituality Center. 5 pm. Come “write” the engaging and inspiring icon of St. John the Baptist during this retreat week led by the talented and widely respected Diane Hamel. $570 registration fee, $100 non-refundable deposit due with to guarantee your place. More info: www.TransformationsCenter.org or call 269-381-6290 ext. 310.

February 21 Women In Networking Meeting Richland Area Community Center. 6 - 8 pm. You're Invited! Networking, beverages & light buffet. Cost is $7 (cash please). RSVP: win.richland@yahoo.com by Thurs. before. More Info: http://win.richland.tripod.com February 22 Don't Have a Stroke Allegan General Hospital, 555 Linn Street. 6:30 – Repm. Learn How Excessive Anger Had The Ability To Trigger One Of The Deadliest Health Conditions Affecting Our Community – Strokes. Topics Discussed Will Include The Two Types Of Strokes And What Warning Signs To Look For. Susan Rood, Lmsw, Will Be The Featured Speaker During This Seminar. Free. Register At 269-686-4231 Or Aghspirit.Org February 23 Indoor Labyrinth Walk Parish Church of Christ the King, Texas Dr. & 8th St, Kalamazoo. 6 – 8 pm. Walking a circular path in prayer & meditation to release emotions, receive inspiration and become strengthened for daily activities. Open to people of all faith traditions.

Free. More info: 269-388-2988 or www.parishchurch.org February 25 Pajama Party Art Bayou. All day event. Since there isn't any school today, why get dressed? Come paint in your pj's and relax on this wintery day! We will be open from 12 – 7. Wear your pj's and get ½ off your studio fee. (only real pj's count...not sweats and a tshirt). 269-375-2600. www.artbayoustudio.com February 25 Integrative Breathwork Parish Church Office, Texas Dr. & 8th St, Kalamazoo. 6:30 – 8:30 pm. A musical journey for insight, emotional healing & creativity. Pre-registration is needed. 269-388-2988 or www.adamczasociates.com February 25 Blindfold Yoga Awake and Aware. 7 – 9 pm. This transformative practice offers the opportunity to attune to our inner sense of alignment, to perceive the body and

February 26 15th Annual Garage Sale Art Fair Kalamazoo County Expo Center, Hazel Gray & Room E. 9:30 am – 4 pm. An art fair with garage sale prices and a big celebration for the 1th year!

Admission: Adults $3. For more info: bonnie@garagesaleartfair.com www.garagesaleartfair.com February 26 Integrative Breathwork Parish Church Office, Texas Dr. & 8th St, Kalamazoo. 10 am – 5:30 pm. A musical journey for insight, emotional healing & creativity. $80. Some partial scholarships are available. Pre-registration is needed. 269-388-2988 or www.adamczasociates.com February 26 Day of Dance Allegan High School's Performing Arts Center, 1560 M-40 North. 1 - Thpm. Allegan General Hospital's 4th Annual Day Of Dance Will Feature A Day Of Dancing, Heart Healthy Activities, Education, Music, Health Screenings And Much More For Your Entire Family. Free. Register At 269-686-4231 Or Aghspirit.Org February 27 Teen Filmmaker Festival Rave Cityplace 14. 2:30 – 4 pm. Come to the Rave Cityplace 14 Theater for the Filmmaker Festival!

The finalists will be screened at this special event open to movie fans of all ages. Free. 269-53-7807. www.kpl.gov/teens/filmmakerfest February 28 Suffering from Heartburn?

Allegan General Hospital, 555 Linn Street. 6 pm. If you experience heartburn twice a week, you may have Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD).

Surgeon Dr. David Dargis will discuss, EsophyX, an incisionless surgical procedure to treat GERD. Free. Register at 269-686-4231 or aghspirit.org March 1 – 31 Kalamazoo Indoor Flea & Farmers Market Kalamazoo County Expo Center, Room E. Tuesday and Wednesday: 7 am – 1 pm. Come check out the flea market for great deals on all kinds of new and used items! And while you're here, support your local farmers by picking up some fresh produce, meat, eggs, maple syrup, honey and more! Free.

For booth space, 269-383-8761.

March 4 ART HOP Various Locations throughout Downtown Kalamazoo. 5 – 8 pm. Art Hop is a free event that features new art exhibits in a fun, casual atmosphere. Numerous galleries and businesses in the downtown area host a variety of artwork which makes it easy to hop around from one exhibit to the next. Free.

269-342-5059. www.kalamazooarts.com March 5 Bellydancer of the Year 2010: Mia Sha'uri of Puerto Rico Epic Center Theater, 359 S. Kalamazoo Mall. 8 pm.

Bellydance Kalamazoo presents the award winning teacher & performer Mia Sha'uri of Puerto Rico in dazzling performance, along with many regional dancers. $23 at the door. Limited seating.

269-552-9805. www.BellyDanceKalamazoo.com

February 2011

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Conversation Starter

Reader’s Lounge

By Alexandra Fix

Having someone read to you is a very special treat. It harkens back to the comfort of childhood and adds a new dimension of interpretation to hear a novel read aloud. Once in awhile the sheer size of a book deters us. When that’s the case, pick up the audio version and let yourself be pleasantly entertained for hours on end.

The Invisible Bridge

By Julie Orringer Random House Audio, 2010, $50 (28 hours unabridged) It’s 1937 and the three sons of the Levi family, from the Hungarian village of Konyar, set out on their life journeys. Andras Levi leaves for Paris, ready to embark upon his long-anticipated study of architecture. His older brother, Tibor, secures a much-desired opportunity to study medicine in Italy. The third and youngest, Matyas, with youthful exuberance, leaves school for the stage of music and dance. Each is on his way to a dream, as the world teeters on the edge of war. In the ensuing years, this war will change all of their plans and alter each of their lives forever.

This is a powerful story of cultural pride, of the strength to be found in love and family, of fear and the courage to endure incredible hardships. As Jewish Hungarian countrymen, the Levi brothers must fight beside their German allies under the hatred of Hitler.

Author Julie Orringer describes the world in upheaval as “a continent intent on eliminating the entire Jewish population.”

The scene is vividly and authentically set, from classrooms to forced labor camps, from the balconies of the opera houses of Budapest to the bowels of the ships holding refugees heading to a new Jewish homeland.

This is a marvelously long novel to experience as an audio book—28 hours of satisfying listening. It is particularly enjoyable to hear the Hungarian and French names and places read with such beautiful European inflection. This novel, one of my favorites this year, is also available in hardcover (Alfred A. Knopf, 2010, $26.95).

The Widower’s Tale

By Julia Glass Random House Audio, 2010, $45 (18 hours unabridged) Since the death of his wife more than thirty years ago, 70-year-old Percy Darling has lived a genteel, but overall solitary life, in his rambling farmhouse outside of Boston. He raised two daughters alone but not without challenges. One daughter is highly successful in her medical oncology career and the other faces numerous hurdles in life.

A staunch New Englander, Percy steps out of his loner attitude to allow a new private preschool to

take over his barn and create a job for his struggling daughter.

The disruption of the ordinary forces Percy to examine the years that have passed and open his mind to the new: Still haunted by his wife’s death, Percy meets a complicated woman for whom his caring grows. He befriends a quiet Guatemalan gardener with a history of missed chances. He continues a deep friendship with a grandson that will prove to be lifesaving at its lowest moment.

This novel is also available in hardcover (Pantheon Books, 2010, $26.95).

Alexandra Fix is the author of ten non-fiction children’s book, including the series “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle” (Heinemann Library). Over the years, she has truly enjoyed being a children’s librarian, registered nurse, freelance writer, mother and grandmother.

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February 2011

Juliet

By Anne Fortier Random House Audio, 2010, $40 (20 hours unabridged) After the death of a beloved aunt, Julie Jacobs receives a puzzling inheritance: a letter and a key that leads Julie from her home in America to Siena, Italy, in search of a secret family treasure. Guided by her aunt’s instructions, Julie travels under her true given name, Giulietta Tolomei. As Guilietta, Julie discovers her own link to history and her ties to the “real” Juliet of Shakespeare’s play.

She lands in the center of a centuries-old antagonism between the Tolomei and the Salimbeni families. Skillfully moving back and forth from the 1300s to the present day, author Anne Fortier unfolds the story of the starcrossed lovers of the past and their feuding families, who inspired Shakespeare’s pen. But, all of the love and romance is not trapped in the past, as Julie meets her own Romeo of today with equally dangerous results.

Murder and intrigue, dark clues and false trails, secret societies and vicious vendettas fill this novel with page turning excitement. Juliet provides a more sophisticated Da Vinci Code-type romp through medieval history.

Book groups will quite naturally be drawn to re-reading Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet,” to watch the plots juxtaposed and to deepen their sense of 14th century history. Each chapter of Juliet begins with select lines from “Romeo and Juliet.” Some seem obvious; others are shrouded in mystery and Fortier poses the challenge to book groups to crack the code.

The author and her mother have shared a lifelong love of both Italy and Shakespeare. While Fortier was growing up in Denmark, they often traveled together to Verona, Italy, always including a visit to the presumed site of Juliet’s balcony. Then one day, they discovered that the true source of Shakespeare’s inspiration for the fictional Capulets and Montagues did not lie in Verona, but rather in the Tolomei and Salimbeni families in Siena.

At the heart of this novel is a wonderful mother/daughter collaboration. Fortier, who now lives in the United States, was writing the novel here while her mother, Birgit Malling Eriksen, was in Siena doing research. The audio version presents a rich, visual portrait of Siena, Italy, today and yesterday. This novel is also available in hardcover (Ballantine Books, 2010, $25).

February 2011

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