Living Your Purpose - May 2017

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17 All the Buzz Honey Recipes

The Martial Artist in You

Living Your

PURPOSE Essential • Entertaining • Enlightening WomensLifeStyleKazoo.com

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- Lori Moore, Local Celebrity &Television Talk Show Host of The Lori Moore Show on CW7

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FROMTHEPUBLISHER

L

iving Your Purpose is the theme of our May magazine. To me that means living a life of purpose while acknowledging that our purpose can change as our life changes. The first stage of adult life is often centered on choosing a career and perhaps starting a family life. A lot of time and energy is spent on those two items because they are such an integral part to living a life of satisfaction and achievement. Next we need to determine our purpose in the greater world. Is our purpose to volunteer at the food pantry or to build something desperately needed in another part of OUR world? Could our purpose be fulfilled in learning how to create beautiful works of art, whether that means creating a cake or quilt for those we love or entering a masterpiece in Art Prize 2017?

To me, the focus here is on living a thoughtful, creative life of purpose... whatever that looks like for you. As Mother Teresa so wisely noted, “Not all of us can do great things–But we can do small things with great love.” So please take the time to find out what your “small” thing might be; this world needs you to get out there and do it!

Speaking of purposeful lives…HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all of the wonderful women reading this month’s edition. I know it’s hard to find the time to spend pampering yourself but I hope you’ll do it anyway. Perhaps a manicure, a new hair style or something as simple as a walk in the park (all by yourself) or an hour at your favorite coffee bistro with a good book to read. Whatever floats your boat, please make sure you take care of yourself. You deserve it!

It’s hard to believe that another month has come and gone. Summer is (finally!) close enough that we can see it, smell it and almost touch it. Time to clean out the kayak!

Happy Mother’s Day

Darlene 4

May 2017

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

“I am convinced that the jealous, the angry, the bitter and the egotistical are the first to race to the top of mountains. A confident person enjoys the journey, the people they meet along the way and sees life not as a competition. They reach the summit last because they know God isn’t at the top waiting for them. He is down below helping his followers to understand that the view is glorious where ever you stand.” ~ Shannon L. Alder

“Your feelings and emotions are your strongest indicator if your life is moving in a purposeful direction or not, so listen closely to how you feel” ~ Rebecca Rosen

“Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. “ ~ Helen Keller

“As you become more clear about who you really are, you’ll be better able to decide what is best for you – the first time around.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

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The People Who Make It Happen...

May 2017 LIFE

Publisher: Darlene Mohr dcmohr@wlskazoo.com

6 10 Ways to Find Poise in March 22 Intimate Reflections: Focusing on Feedback 26 Changing Your Narrative

Editor & Events Manager: Michelle Morgan mmorgan@wlskazoo.com

STYLE

Contributing Writers: Andrew Domino Kelly Duggan Heidi McCrary Erica Shier Ashley Carter Youngblood

14 Plants with Intent

HEALTH & BEAUTY 8 The (Martial) Artist in You 24 The Power of B Vitamins

Sales Manager: Ruth Ann Dibert radibert@wlskazoo.com

LEARN & DO 16 18 20 30

Account Executive: Brenda Murphy bmurphy@wlskazoo.com Layout & Design: Jennifer Gardner jchartier@wlskazoo.com Photography: K. Redmond Photography fb/kredmondphotography Administrative: Patty Clifford pclifford@wlskazoo.com Contact Us: 269-350-5227 Sales Info: 269-271-1032

By Mail: Greater Kalamazoo Women’s LifeStyle P. O. Box 2284 Portage, MI 49081-2284

Strengthen Your Skills How to be a B***h!

Dining Etiquette Reader’s Lounge

FOOD & DRINK 12 Honey Recipes: It’s All the Buzz Honeyed Frozen Yogurt Pie Honey Blueberry Oatmeal Bars Honey Passion Fruit Blueberry Cupcakes 17 Local Taste - Principle Food & Drink

LOOK WHO’S TALKING 10 Deb Feaster

COMMUNITY NEWS & HAPPENINGS 28 Calendar

By Email: info@wlskazoo.com editor@wlskazoo.com sales@wlskazoo.com Website: WomensLifeStyleKazoo.com WomensLifeStyleKazooExpo.com

Greater Kalamazoo MAGAZINE | EXPO

May 2017

5

MAY

Poise is presenting our best self to the world with elegance and grace; it communicates to others who we are in a silent manner. Here are a few ways to regain your poise after losing your balance.

10 Ways to increase your poise in Develop good posture – stand straight and show confidence.

BY PEACHES MCCAHILL

Stop striving for perfection – no one is good at everything.

Be polite and use your manners.

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Maintain your composure during challenging times.

Be honest, but kind, in your delivery.

Poise is gentle strength.”

- Tim Kimmel

Demonstrate dignity and respect for yourself and others.

Be a lifelong student. Take classes, read and continue to grow each day.

Learn to carry on an interesting conversation. Listen and focus on the person you are communicating with.

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May 2017

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Model others you admire; i.e., Grace Kelly, Dorothy Dandridge, Jackie O, Coco Chanel.

Smile often and make eye contact.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Peaches McCahill is founder and president of The McCahill Group, a leading provider of health, wellness, beauty and talent solutions, and owner of M Power Studio. She has a passion to inspire others with simplistic lifestyle suggestions.

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7

The (Martial) Artist in You

BY ELYSE WILD

W

omen all around the world have practiced martial arts for 4,000 years and for good reason; this divine, ageold form of exercise has been proven to increase stamina, strength and spiritual well-being. Martial arts challenge you to use the best of what you have—your body and mind—to push yourself further than you ever have before. They also require grace and poise, both innate qualities in women. Hundreds of variations have developed over the years, and there is a style for everyone. Whether you want to try your hand(s) at kung fu, tai chi, krav maga, or kickboxing, here are five reasons you should incorporate martial arts into your fitness routine.

1. Increased Strength

You will build strength quickly. Martial arts involve full-body workouts that build your muscle through calisthenics and body-weight exercises like squats, push-ups, crab-walks, crunches and leg lifts. As you continue to practice, repetitive actions like punching, kicking, evading and chopping will also increase your muscle tone.

2. Perfect Posture

Most martial arts start from the ground up, meaning your stance is the foundation of everything that comes after. You can’t throw a punch, twirl a tornado kick or even take a step forward if your legs and feet are not just so. This attention to detail will not only help you build core strength but will develop your awareness of your posture and poise.

3. Lightning Reflexes

As you progress in your practice, your brain will learn to anticipate what’s to come. Research shows that individuals who participate in a martial art demonstrate faster reaction times in all areas of their lives than those who don’t, and who wouldn’t want cat-like reflexes?

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May 2017

4. Get to Know Yourself

You will learn more about yourself than you ever thought possible. In martial arts, your body is your gym, and the more you practice, the more in tune you become to your strengths, limitations, the intricacies of your muscles and the connections throughout your body. You will learn to become deeply familiar with your weaknesses and nurture them into valuable assets. This enlightenment opens up a tranquil world of peace and possibility you will carry with you outside of the dojo.

5. Power and Grace

As you build your strength and skills, you will learn about the two-way relationship between power and grace: power is nothing without grace, and grace has stunning potential when backed by power. Finding the balance between these two is an invaluable, lifelong journey and martial arts allow you to put contemplation into practice as you tap into these natural qualities you may not even know you have.

Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn’t make you who you are. It is the rest of your story – who you choose to be.”

– Michelle Yeoh, Former ballet student, stunt woman, martial artist, award winning actress

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Greater Kalamazoo MAGAZINE | EXPO

May 2017

9

LOOK WHO’S TALKING

D

eb Feaster is a very busy woman. Not only is she the owner and operator of Auto Analysts, a 10 bay auto repair business on Stadium Drive, she’s a competitive golfer and doting grandmother to her four grandchildren. As is the case with most modern women, the hours often seem short but Deb wouldn’t have it any other way. She enjoys the day-to-day challenges of being a business owner and balancing all that her life entails.

The youngest of eight children, Deb Feaster was born and raised in Jackson, Michigan. She met her husband, Mark, in Kalamazoo and it wasn’t long before Mark’s entrepreneurial spirit and Deb’s drive lead to their first joint enterprise. They opened Auto Analysts in 1979, not letting the fact that they only had $300 in the bank derail their vision.

In 2004, after twenty years of marriage, Mark passed away, leaving Deb to run the business alone. She lost her partner in both life and business and misses his daily encouragement. She notes “Mark was my biggest cheerleader, encouraging and reminding me there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do.

We made a great team.”

Clearly Mark was correct in his assessment of his wife’s capacity, as both the business and their family have continued to thrive under Deb’s care. Auto Analysts has been in business for 37 years and provides a wide array of services, including car and truck care, engine maintenance, transmission services, inspections and emissions and brakes. They also provide specialized service for import cars and fleet vehicles.

Deb relishes the challenges that come with running Auto Analysts and deeply values the relationships she’s built over the years with both her customers and employees. Her entire staff is committed to treating customers with integrity and honesty.

After almost four decades in the business, Deb is

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May 2017

DEB FEASTER Auto Analysts Owner & Operator

justifiably proud of the relationships she’s built that span generations and she’s committed to making them last for generations to come.

As fulfilling as her career is, Deb is just as dedicated to her family and friends. She loves to be outdoors and enjoys spending time with her beloved grandchildren. If she can do both at the same time, so much the better! Give her a day full

of sunshine, blue skies and the smiling faces of those she loves most and she’s at her most content.

When Deb’s not helping to keep Kalamazoo residents on the road, she loves to spend time on the golf course. She also enjoys music, travel and spending time in her garden. She values honesty, kindness and gifts from the heart and is a passionate supporter of organ donation and the SPCA of Southwest Michigan.

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Greater Kalamazoo MAGAZINE | EXPO

May 2017

11

Recipes

y e n o H It’s All the Buzz

RECIPES COURTESY OF

THE NATIONAL HONEY BOARD

Honeyed Frozen Yogurt Pie makes 8 servings For the Crust: 1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs

6 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted 1/4 cup honey

For the Filling: 1/2 cup heavy cream 1/2 cup full-fat Greek yogurt

2 tablespoons honey 1/2 teaspoon vanilla bean paste or vanilla extract For Garnish: Fresh fruit (optional) Honey for drizzling Directions Make the Crust: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In medium bowl, stir together graham cracker crumbs, butter and honey until well combined. Firmly press the mixture into the bottom of a 9-inch pie pan.

Transfer to oven and bake 14 to 16 minutes or until dark golden brown. Transfer to cooling rack to cool completely before filling.

Make the Filling: Place cream in mixing bowl and mix on medium-high speed until soft peaks form. Add yogurt, honey and vanilla bean paste and beat until well combined. Evenly spread mixture in prepared pie crust. Cover and transfer to freezer for at least 4 hours or up to 3 days.

To serve, let pie stand at room temperature for 20 minutes to soften slightly. While pie is softening, garnish with fruit, if desired.

Cut pie and serve drizzled with honey.

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May 2017

WomensLifeStyleKazoo.com

Honey Blueberry Oatmeal Bars makes 16 squares 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 1/4 cups old-fashioned oats 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt 3/4 cup (6 ounces or 12 tablespoons) unsalted butter, softened 1/2 cup honey

2 tablespoons brown sugar 1 egg

1 teaspoon vanilla extract Blueberry Honey Jam:

2 cups fresh blueberries 1/2 cup honey

1 tablespoon lemon juice For the jam: Place a small plate in the freezer for testing the jam. In a large deep skillet, add blueberries, honey, and lemon juice. Heat and stir

until it reaches a rolling boil. Boil and stir until it thickens, about 10 minutes. Add a small spoonful of the jam onto the plate in the freezer and let sit for 30 seconds. Tilt it. If it slides too fast, cook another 1-2 minutes and check again. If it moves slow, it is done. Test every 1-2 minutes and do not overcook. Remove from the heat and cool to room temperature.

For the bars: Preheat oven to 350F. Line an 8x8 square pan with parchment or grease with cooking spray.

In a large bowl, mix together the flour, oats, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt. In another large bowl, beat together the butter, honey, and brown sugar until creamy, about 2-3 minutes. Beat in the egg and vanilla until incorporated, about 1 minute (it may look curdled). Gradually beat in the flour mixture.

Evenly spread no more than half of the dough into the bottom of the pan. Top with cooled blueberry jam. Top with the remaining dough.

Bake 30 minutes or until golden brown. Cool completely before cutting into squares.

Honey Passion Fruit Blueberry Cupcakes

makes 12-14 cupcakes

2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 3/4 cup passion fruit nectar 1/4 cup buttermilk 1/2 cup butter, softened 1/2 cup Wildflower honey, or other mild-flavored honey 2 large eggs 1 cup (4 oz.) - fresh blueberries

Preheat oven to 350° F. Sift together flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt; set aside. In a liquid measure, combine passion fruit nectar and buttermilk; set aside. In a mixing bowl, cream butter until fluffy.

Add honey; mix well. Add eggs one at a time.

Add half of the reserved dry ingredients to the butter mixture; mix on low until just combined. With mixer running on low, slowly add the passion fruit mixture. Add remaining dry ingredients until just combined. Gently fold in blueberries. Fill paper-lined muffin tins 2/3 full.

Bake 18-22 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in center of a muffin comes out clean. Remove to wire rack; cool. Frost with Honey Passion Fruit Whipped Cream (recipe below), if desired.

Honey Passion Fruit Whipped Cream

1 cup heavy whipping cream

1 Tablespoon - Wildflower honey, or other mild-flavored honey

2 Tablespoons - passion fruit nectar

In a mixing bowl, combine whipping cream, honey and passion fruit nectar. Beat until peaks form.

Greater Kalamazoo MAGAZINE | EXPO

May 2017

13

Heuchera

Coleus

Superbells

with

M

BY RICK VUYST

ay is prime time for planting, and gardening enthusiasts want to be assured the plants they select have staying power and look marvelous all season long. Some plants naturally have a winning attitude and perform exceptionally, providing vibrant color from spring to summer to fall. This month, when the danger of frost passes, a new opportunity arises to explore fresh frontiers with colorful foliage to brighten our landscapes and containers.

performs well all season long. Pair it with a resilient plant like the diamond frost euphorbia with its abundance of white flowers, and you have star power.

The soil, space and nutrients you provide your plants will make a world of difference when they first begin to grow. Good quality soil mixes contain a starter fertilizer, a blend of “soil-less” components that make the texture suitable for root growth and mycorrhizae, a fungus that grows in association with the roots of a plant in a symbiotic pathogenic relationship enhancing growth and durability.

From superbells calibrachoa to supertunias, today’s petunias are nothing like what your Grandma planted years ago.

Abundant, floriferous, self-cleaning and heat-tolerant, they provide unique, durable color in any corner of the yard.

Similarly, modern begonias are drastically different from the “wax begonias” of the past; they have gorgeous, glossy foliage, expansive blooms and perform like a champion in the sun or shade.

There is an endless array of resilient flowering annuals to choose from. The Scaevola New Wonder, also known as an Australian Fan Flower, is a tough heat tolerant beauty that flourishes in containers and hanging baskets. Its blue, fanshaped flowers are stunning when combined with the bright chartreuse of the sweet potato vine.

Today’s varieties of coleus are dazzling, suitable for sun or shade and come in a kaleidoscope of variegations. As always, the vibrant color comes from the foliage, so it

Senorita Rosalita

Annual ornamental grasses, such as a purple or red pennisetum, provide a long lasting punch to the center of a container. Alternatively, try a flowering annual like Senorita Rosalita cleome, a stunner that stands 24 to 36 inches tall with entrancing, spider-like flowers.

Don’t forget your containers! Containers are the perfect opportunity to exercise your inventive green thumb and plant a small, vibrant wonderland of your own creation. As always, make sure there is room for growth and proper drainage.

Blend landscape classics like spirea, own-root roses and buddleia, or perennials like nepeta, heuchera or sedums and succulents into the mix and let them play their roles as “superheroes” in your scenery!

Rick Vuyst is CEO of Flowerland, host of the Flowerland Show on NewsRadio WOOD 1300 and 106.9 FM as well as Mr. Green Thumb on WZZM TV 13.

Where Garden Creativity Begins!

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Greater Kalamazoo MAGAZINE | EXPO

May 2017

15

Strengthen

Skills Your Strategic Thinking

BY JENNIFER DEAMUD

I

n a world driven by rapid-fire consumption and ever-evolving technology, planning ahead is more crucial than ever. The ability to anticipate the future and make strategic decisions accordingly could determine the success of your business, organization or personal endeavors.

Each day, new opportunities surface that call for strategic thinking. Whether you’re looking to further your personal knowledge and skills, promote a business or generate funding and development for a nonprofit organization, innovative brainstorming is essential.

It’s never too early to plan for the future. Just as college students hash out their graduation timelines and steadily work toward an end goal, successful professionals typically map out their ideal career path years in advance, editing and re-planning as they progress.

Most women possess a natural ability to think strategically, simultaneously utilizing both the right and left side of the brain. Whether we realize it or not, we automatically anticipate future circumstances and situations, which allows us to begin imagining new ways to acquire the outcomes we desire. Three important and prominent skill sets women have are: the ability to process information, advanced perceptiveness and a tendency to remain open minded.

For most people, strategic thinking is a learned skill that strengthens with practice. Here are a four ways you can improve.

Overcome Fear The fear of making the wrong decision can be a barrier to effective leadership and critical thinking.

It’s important to be able to identify when fear affects decisions in order to properly assess an issue and move past it. Openly discussing concerns with colleagues and co-workers provides new perspectives designed to hurdle any obstacle.

Observe Your Surroundings

Communicate Your Thoughts

Pay attention to both internal and external activities and actively seek out answers to any questions that arise. Think of your role within your organization as transformational rather than transactional–be inquisitive, absorb insight and allow yourself ample room to grow from what you learn.

The more you learn, the easier it will be to structure your verbal and written communications with a strategic focus. Practice prioritizing your thoughts in a way that allows recipients to clearly comprehend the main point of your message.

Take Time for Yourself Many of us feel we need more time in the day. Instead of routinely packing your schedule with meetings and an endless to-do list of tasks, take some time to cultivate your strategic thinking skills. Write down your biggest questions and find the answers. Initiate and encourage dialogue with colleagues who have opinions that conflict your own to gain new understandings. Rake in as much knowledge as possible so you can apply it to your personal or professional life in the future.

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May 2017

Jen (and husband Dave) started an endowed scholarship at GVSU for students affected by their parents being incarcerated – “Be the Change” scholarship can be accessed at gvsu.edu.

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TASTES FROM THE KITCHEN

“Fish & Chips”

Potato Encrusted Haddock with malt vinegar mayonnaise & crisp pickled salad

BY ERICA SHIER

Principle Food & Drink

A

t Principle Food and Drink, located on S. Kalamazoo Mall in the heart of downtown, there is nothing more important than making sure that the foundation for every morsel of food that touches diners’ taste buds is rock solid. For Chef Matthew Pietsch and his staff, this means starting with superior ingredients sourced from local, seasonal and sustainable sources whenever possible. Matthew, his Chef de Cuisine Paul Parrish and the rest of the team work hard to develop relationships with the farmers and producers that provide the foundational elements of the cuisine at Principle. These relationships, so vital to the food that graces the table at Principle, have been nurtured since the early days of the Matthew’s other farm-to-table restaurant, Salt of the Earth in Fennville.

With fresh, quality ingredients in hand Chef Matthew and Chef Paul begin creating dishes that are rooted in classical preparations and techniques while simultaneously offering a fresh and creative experience. Chef Matthew notes “We take every opportunity to create all of our food from whole raw ingredients and cook from absolute scratch.”

Guests can expect to find food that harkens back to a simpler time but still feels new and modern.

Entrees like Country Fried Pork and Crispy Confit Chicken are familiar and approachable but boast twists that make them exciting and different.

An entire section of the menu is dedicated to veggies, making Principle a great destination for omnivores and herbivores alike. Dishes like Grilled Broccoli with spicy mayonnaise and almonds and Vegan Jambalaya guarantee that the vegetarians in the group will have an equally satisfying experience. Principle also has a vast selection of custom cocktails inspired by libations from around the world. Patrons can sip on a

Smoked Sazerac or Vieux Carre and imagine they are in New Orleans or nurse a Negroni and mentally walk the streets of Florence, Italy.

Whatever one chooses, it’s easy to sit back and relax in a venue that is crisp and modern and, at the same time, deeply reminiscent of the building’s storied past.

Chef Matthew is a West Michigan native and culinary school graduate who worked as an Executive Pastry Chef at a number of establishments in the area before relocating to Detroit. There he operated the famed Opus One kitchen and teamed up with Iron Chef Michael Symon to launch Detroit’s upscale steakhouse, Roast. When the opportunity presented itself, Matthew relocated to Fennville to open Salt of the Earth in 2009 with partner Casey Longton.

Six years later, after the resounding success of the venture, he opened Principle in Downtown Kalamazoo.

Chef Matthew is a passionate eater who loves food, whether prepared at home or consumed with friends around the table at a local restaurant. He relishes the opportunity to facilitate connection and conversation over a plate of carefully and lovingly prepared food. The smile he sees on diners’ faces as they sample his workmanship makes it all worthwhile. It’s his hope that the recipe he’s shared with us for “Fish and Chips” will make you smile as well. Bon appetit!

Erica Shier is a married mother of four who loves reading, scrapbooking and thrift stores. When she’s not driving her small pack of children around, she spends her time volunteering, writing and trying to keep on top of the laundry.

6-8

2C

1T

6

1.5 C

1/2 C

Cleaned, skinned, trimmed haddock (4-6 oz. each) All-purpose flour Malt Vinegar Powder* Free-range or organic eggs, thoroughly blended Potato pearls or instant mashed potato flakes Potato Flour (optional) Cooking Oil (vegetable, avocado, grapeseed, or alternate high heat oil) as needed

*Malt Vinegar powder is available online or from most high end spice purveyors - if not available, simply omit from the preparation.

Dredge the fish in three steps: first through the potato or all-purpose flour, then through the lightly combined eggs and finally the potato flakes.

Heat a large skillet over medium heat and pour in enough oil to thoroughly cover the entire surface of the pan.

Heat the oil for 30 seconds or until a tiny sprinkle of flour sizzles upon contact. Then, using extreme caution, lower each portion of fish into the pan, leaving space between the fish pieces. It is very important to not over-crowd the cooking vessel, as it may cause your fish to steam instead of pan fry. Be well aware of your heat level, and moderate the burner to adjust the temperature as fish begins to cook. The crust will begin to take on a crispy and golden exterior within 30-40 seconds of cooking. Turn the fish very carefully and continue cooking process on all sides. Once thoroughly cooked to a golden brown and well crisped (internal temperature of fish should read 165) remove fish from cooking vessel, transfer to a wire rack or paper towel lined dish and sprinkle with course or flake sea salt.

For the salad:

8

2 t

4

3

8-12

baby dill pickles, quartered lengthwise salt packed capers (rinsed and soaked in 3-4 washes of water). medium/hard boiled eggs, split and quartered pinches of micro-greens, or alternate small leaf green such as watercress or arugula pickled ramp bulbs* (or pickled pearl onions) Extra virgin olive oil and coarse salt (as needed).

Combine the first 5 ingredients into a small mixing bowl, and very gingerly distribute ingredients throughout. Drizzle the final components with a small splash of olive oil and a tiny pinch of salt, if necessary.

To Plate:

Principle Food & Drink | 230 S Kalamazoo Mall | Kalamazoo MI 49007 (269) 743-6563| principlekzoo.com Kitchen Hours: Sun-TH: 4:30p-10:30p | F-Sa: 4:00p-12:00a Greater Kalamazoo MAGAZINE | EXPO

The dish is intended to be plated with a Malt Vinegar Mayonnaise; season your favorite grocery brand, or ideally make your own and season with a bit of malt vinegar, or malt vinegar powder. Place a portion of the fish over the mayonnaise and top with the salad components. Finish with the hard-boiled egg. Enjoy!

May 2017

17

HOW TO BE A B***H: Reflections of a Therapist

BY ASHLEY CARTER YOUNGBLOOD, LLMSW, LLMFT, CADC

Y

ep. You read right. That is the title of this article. Now that I have your attention… ladies, let’s talk.

As children, we are told that we are made up of “sugar and spice and everything nice”. But, I can’t tell you how many women come into my office and express how this rule of “just be nice” has destroyed their happiness. So, let me ask you this: When’s the last time you didn’t say anything just because “I didn’t want others to think bad of me”? When the last time you sacrificed what you needed because you “didn’t want to make someone upset”?

With great love and tenderness, I say that us women have to stop doing this! Being nice is wonderful but having that cause stress and burn-out because we are spread so thin is not worth the cost. What if, instead, you could find a way to be just as compassionate to yourself as you are with others? It’s possible!

LET’S GET REAL

We usually call women who are to the point and pursue their needs the B-word, right? But, let’s think about the qualities we are describing: confident; strong; assertive; competent. I don’t know about you, but I would be flattered to have someone describe me in this way. (P.S. I can’t remember a time where a man was criticized for being strong in this way. Do I smell a double-standard?)

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May 2017

So, what am I saying? Certainly I am not saying go out and be rude and cuss at everyone, functioning out of self-entitlement. But, I am saying that we should begin to embrace an aspect of ourselves that typically is described in a negative light. What if being assertive and direct actually isn’t a bad thing? What if we gave ourselves permission to say “No. That doesn’t work for me. Period.”? What could we accomplish as women if we remove the labels and allow ourselves to have a voice?

A STARTING POINT

You may be wondering where to start. Here are some thoughts to consider.

1. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION Allow

yourself to be a priority. If you have other obligations, like motherhood or a job, honor those. But, allow your needs to be worth exploring, as opposed to following your gut-reaction to give to others mindlessly.

2. SKIP THE LABELS Avoid self-critical thoughts that include implications of “the B-word”. You are being nothing more than yourself and you deserve to have your needs met!

3. USE YOUR VOICE State what you need from

others. Ask for that promotion. Arrange for childcare so that to have some girl time. Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes.

4. AVOID APOLOGIZING Guilt is often a

hindrance to growth. So, recognize that you don’t need to justify your need for a vacation or offer a reason why you don’t want to go to that party. As Nike tells us, “Just Do it!”.

5. SEEK SUPPORT Robert Ingersoll reminds

us that “We rise by lifting others”. Strength attracts strength. So, find women who inspire and celebrate your strength, as opposed to being threatened by it.

Maybe even find a professional or inspirational figure to help coach you on your journey of self-discovery.

It’s important to recognize that this can be a life-long journey. So, use each moment as practice. Learn what style works for you and what doesn’t.

Lastly, if I seem passionate, it’s because I am. Your voice is too beautiful a gift to waste. Don’t spend any more time being who you’re “supposed to” be. Find your true Self. And, run with her!

Ashley Carter Youngblood is a Limited Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Marriage and Family Therapist in Kalamazoo. Her specialty is empowering women to discover their voice and heal their relationships. Find out more about her at her website, www.kalamazoocounseling.com

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472 W. Michigan Ave ● Downtown Kalamazoo www.stewartandcompanyfurniture.com May 2017

19

better conversation you’ll have.”

Dining Etiquette

As manners have changed throughout out time, so has the culture we bring to the table. During World War II, foreign spies were caught red handed due to the telltale differences in American and European dinning etiquette.

Now, making sure our phone is in our pocket is an unconscious habit that follows us everywhere.

Whether we Instagram our meals and Snapchat our friends, Brown attributes technology and social media as the number one change in our manners. Most of all, she emphasizes that people do not comprehend the implications those actions have.

M

able, Mable, sweet and able, take your elbows off the table!” This classic nursery rhyme serves as a reminder of basic table manners, but for Cindy Brown, dinning etiquette goes far beyond remembering which fork to use and knowing not to speak with your mouth full.

As the executive director of Hello West Michigan, an organization filled with resources dedicated to those looking to move to the area, Brown has integrated her passion for table manners into her professional life. Working with résumés and the overall hiring process, she understands the significance of first impressions.

“You’re having a conversation and it just so happens that you’re eating during it,” Brown said, reminding us that social interaction is the root of dining together, especially in a setting more formal than your kitchen table.

With a history dating back to the beginning of human interaction, manners were created as common ground in order

for people to understand one another.

Such behavioral standards evolved overtime as society itself changed.

Etiquette based on classist ideas— Victorian Era ballroom etiquette or the chivalric code—is no longer practiced.

Practicing proper etiquette is now a means with which individuals can portray themselves confidently. In the business world, employers are looking for certain characteristics in potential employees.

How one holds themselves at the table is a tangible example illustrating how one would act in business related situations.

“People are trying to see if they want a person to represent their company,” Brown said. “It’s you. It’s your brand.”

Brown began holding luncheons and dinners with etiquette lessons for college students 20 years ago. She believes that universities should stress dinning etiquette as much as they do other aspects of career preparation.

“We fear the unknown, but it’s all about selling yourself,” Brown said. “[Employers] take adults out for lunch. People need to be ready. The more comfortable you are, the

“You’re not doing it in 160 characters,” Brown explained. “You have to communicate with those people at your table for longer than 45 minutes.”

Contrary to common belief, society is not as impolite as past generations may suggest. In fact, demonstrating respect for all of humanity is an enormous movement in our modern culture. However, although not a sign of intentional disrespect, multitasking on the phone while at the table is a curt indicator of lack of interest, short attention span and poor communication skills. Most formal dress codes even discourage men and women from wearing watches, as dinner is a time to relax and enjoy the company of those around you.

Brown stresses putting the distractions down and practicing the basics, which will bring back and strengthen those rules we were taught as youngsters and in turn benefit our image in the long run.

What makes the largest difference and inspires Brown the most is the light bulb that goes off in people’s heads when it all clicks.

“You can see it on their faces.” Brown said. “It’s a piece of who you are.”

Napkin

When dining in a restaurant, remove your napkin from the table, unfold it and place it in your lap. When you are eating in someone else’s home, the meal begins when the host or hostess unfolds their napkin.

Digging In

Wait to start eating until everyone at your table is served. If you are in a formal setting, start with the utensil farthest from your plate and work your way in, using one for each course.

Passing Food

Always pass food and condiments from left to right. Butter, spreads and dips should be transferred to your plate before being used. Always use serving utensils, not your silverware.

Fork and Knife

Noshing should begin with your knife in your right hand and fork in your left hand. Cut a few pieces of food before placing your knife on the edge of the plate with the blade facing in. Eat by switching your fork to your right hand. Once your utensils are used, they are not to touch the table again.

Finishing Up

When you are finished with your meal, leave the napkin semi-folded at the left side of your place setting. Lay your fork with the tines up and the knife blade in, handles resting at 5 o’clock with the tips aimed at 10 o’clock on your plate.

Specializing in executive and personal image development, etiquette and communication skills.

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20

May 2017

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21

CHANGING Your Narrative

BY MEOCHIA N. THOMPSON

B

e careful not to get caught up in the drama of the story, or you might just miss the whole picture. In other words, the way you retell a story can influence the people listening.

Imagine you went on a romantic weekend getaway with your spouse and had a great time for the most part. However, an incident happened that put a slight crinkle in one of your perfect evenings. For instance, a cute, giggly waitress decided to have an extended conversation with him while you were away in the ladies room. However, when you walked back to the table and interrupted the intense chat they were engaged in with a soft but forceful cough and your husband nervously says, “Oh, by the way this is (insert your name here),” instead of introducing you as his wife (insert your name here). You know, that type of a wrinkle. As a result, you were very annoyed with how your spouse handled the situation. You addressed the incident, found common ground, and you both went off to enjoy the rest of your vacation in wonderful bliss.

A week goes by, and you are on the phone with your best friend who totally gets you, and they pop the magic question, “So, how was your vacation?”

This could be your magic moment to either get “ohs” and “ahs” or get points. The winner in most of us would choose to get points. So, we start manipulating the story by adding our own effects and drama to the situation. Saying our words slowly and carefully enough, so our audience doesn’t miss the point. Instead of just saying how wonderful everything was or going into detail about the red snapper caught fresh from the ocean and grilled on stones as you sat and watched while sipping mango margaritas, you decide to tell a different story— the story of, “He did me wrong.”

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May 2017

When the winner in us begins to retell the story, we say how great your trip was but how we can’t believe he just let such and such happen. Of course, you know what happens next. Before you can even begin telling the rest of the story, your best friend interrupts right on cue like you knew they would and immediately, says, “What! Why would he ever do that?”

Now, all of those feelings we put away have resurfaced, and we just can’t let our partner off the hook for what we have already put away.

We thought everything was resolved, but there’s more: You and your spouse are sitting alone having a nice and quiet evening and you say, “You know, I

You know, I was sharing with a friend about what happened last weekend, and she said you were totally wrong!

How could you forget that I am your wife!”

was sharing with a friend about what happened last weekend, and she said you were totally wrong! How could you forget that I am your wife!”

You are upset again and right back where you started when you first had the discussion back in vacation town. Now, your spouse is trying to defend themselves, again, over a point that was already made. There is no more peace.

How did you get back there?

You got back there because you didn’t change the narrative. You got back there because you decided to look back instead of move forward. You decided to step in a hole that you saw coming. How do you avoid falling into these traps in the future? You have to change your viewpoint to a more positive perspective.

You have to know yourself, your audience and the purpose of the story and you have to do a heart check to remove any and all hidden agendas.

Here’s how you start:

When your friend asks how your vacation was, tell them about how fabulous it was. Talk about how much fun you had, what you learned and the restaurants you dined in. That shift in storytelling will leave you feeling happy and loveable towards your mate because that flashback puts you right back into those beautiful moments.

How we retell our story determines the impact it has on everyone around us. So, sacrifice a little to gain a lot. Leave the meat in the story and spit out the bones.

There is no need to rehash negativity. You can still tell a good, truthful, exciting story without all the drama, especially if it’s going to have a negative effect on your

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relationship. Before you go spreading the news, don’t forget check for these five things:

Perform a heart check

Examine your motive behind the version of the story you are telling.

Be honest

Does this person really need to know or care to know about the drama?

Distraction

Will this information take away from the bigger picture?

Can I leave the story here?

Determine if rehashing the story will make you upset again.

Is the issue resolved?

There is no need to solve a problem that has already been fixed.

If you find that you are still upset about the issue, be sure to go to your spouse and share your concerns so you won’t fester any disappointment in the future.

When it comes to changing your narrative, it doesn’t matter if the cup is half-empty or full when you are thirsty.

The most important question becomes is if what is inside is drinkable and if so, can you have some? We must learn to change the way we retell our stories.

Always remember your purpose and the impact you want to leave. Drama can happen anywhere, but a good, positive story is like a breath of fresh air to everyone who hears it.

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Meochia Nochi Thompson the Publisher of Blessed Pen Ink, author of “A Book of Poetry a Sister Can Eat To” and hosts an online radio show called Chick Chats. Her specialties include cooking, hugs and words that inspire.

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May 2017

23

The Power of

B2- Riboflavin

Signs of deficiency: lack of energy, cracked lips, inflamed mouth and watery eyes.

Found in: almonds, sun-dried tomatoes, natural yogurt, mushrooms and spinach.

B3- Niacin

Signs of deficiency: lack of energy, anxiety, depression and dermatitis.

Found in: avocado, turkey breast, chicken breast, liver and sunflower seeds.

B5- Pantothenic Acid

Signs of deficiency: lack of energy and adrenal dysfunction.

Found in: feta cheese, tuna, eggs, avocados, corn and sweet potatoes.

B6- Pyridoxine

Signs of deficiency: fatigue, inadequate production of serotonin and dopamine, sleep disturbances, decreased immune function and anemia.

Found in: pistachio nuts, halibut, dried apricots, raisins and bananas.

B7- Biotin

Signs of deficiency: depression, hair loss, tingling in extremities and dry skin.

Found in: cauliflower, carrots, tomatoes, pork, rice bran and pecans.

B9- Folic Acid

Signs of deficiency: mental sluggishness, anemia, infertility and loss of appetite.

Found in: broccoli, asparagus, lettuce, lentils, turnip greens and oranges.

B12- Cobalamin

Signs of deficiency: fatigue, depression, dizziness, nerve damage and vision problems.

Found in: liver, canned sardines, shrimp, silken tofu and Swiss cheese.

BY BRANDI GRIMMER

Vitamins

B

oosting mental health and combating unwelcome fatigue could be as simple as taking your vitamins. The

most commonly known vitamin that increases energy levels, spikes mood and amps concentration is vitamin B12. These supplements have a direct role in balancing blood sugar, creating a healthy nervous system, lowering risk for stroke and heart disease, and increasing digestive function.

24

May 2017

Let’s look at the eight different B vitamins that collectively create a B-complex, telltale signs of deficiency and where they naturally occur:

B1- Thiamine

Signs of deficiency: Fatigue, memory loss, weakness, depression, irritability, cognitive disturbance, pain sensitivity, nervousness, constipation, shortness of breath, numbness and confusion.

Found in: Salmon, flax seeds, chia seeds, cashers, green pees and black beans.

Significant deficiency in any of these areas can have detrimental effects on the body. Since vitamin B is water-soluble, our body won’t store it, meaning our vitamin B levels need to be replenished regularly.

Consuming mugs of tea or coffee, high amounts of carbohydrates and artificial sugars quickly burns through our body’s B vitamins. In addition, prolonged stress and certain medications may also deplete B vitamin levels. For example, birth control pills and other hormone replacements require additional B6.

Be sure to talk to your healthcare provider about adding this diverse, robust vitamin family to your supplemental regimen to keep your body functioning properly and you feeling you’re very best!

Brandi is a certified nutritional consultant at Keystone Pharmacy. She believes that total health is dependent on proper diet, exercise, and nutritional supplementation.

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Finishing Gives It the Feel People tend to function on autopilot. This is especially true when it comes to those routine tasks around the house like getting ready for work, doing the dishes, or sorting through the mail.

A person on autopilot might not give your flyer, coupon, booklet, or brochure enough time to really think about your message. That’s not fair, but there is a way to get their attention.

Finishing can be felt as well as seen. Even before reading your message, your potential customer can feel something is different. The finishing or coating of your marketing piece tells them it’s something worth dropping out of autopilot for.

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May 2017

25

Sometimes, you have to look back in order to understand the things that lie ahead.”

– Yvonne Woon, Author

Intimate

REFLECTIONS

BY ANGEL STEWART

A

s we go about life, we don’t operate directly within the world. Instead, we have experiences and develop internal representations of them. This becomes our guide, and naturally,

we begin to catalog these experiences and respond to life’s happenings accordingly. We may believe all mothers are nurturing because our mother coddled and encouraged us. We could think spiders are terrifying because someone once taught us to call for help when we saw one. Our responses to people and circumstances are not literal, rather, they come from deep within us; they come from our perception, internal thoughts and subjective experiences.

There are times when we are so perplexed about why parts of our life are painful and complicated. It’s easy to point the blame at others or create barriers which hinder us from gaining helpful feedback and bettering our relationships and circumstances. These barriers are known as generalizing, deleting and distorting.

Generalizing includes the inaccurate use of words such as “always” or “never.” For example, “You never want to do anything I want to do,” or “I always have to do all the work around here.” Deleting is selectively focusing on certain things and excluding

26

May 2017

others. A person may believe they were unfairly denied a raise yet they haven’t honestly reviewed their own quality of work. Finally, distorting is making assumptions or acting as if you can read another’s mind, for example, “I know you think this is my fault.”

Reflect on your day. Have you used any of these barriers? How honest were those thoughts?

Becoming aware of our use of these harmful concepts and removing them from our thoughts and communication creates an opportunity to refresh our internal representations.

If you were a fly on the wall, how would you look? What was your tone? What facial expressions did you have?

As you work through challenging experiences, notice the positive choices or actions you make and give yourself genuine credit! Then, ask yourself what you could have improved upon. Additionally, think about the reactions of others who were a part of the situation. It is enlightening to allow yourself to disassociate from the situation as if you were a fly on the wall observing and listening. How did you look? What facial expressions did you have?

What was your tone? What was your body language communicating? Make it a point to end your reflection by noting the positive elements of the situation.

There may come a time when others are providing feedback to you, so remind yourself that you always have a choice to receive or reject it. Analyze what is being said to you. If you find it invalid, then choose to ignore it and calmly respond by sharing that you disagree. If you find the feedback valid, then rejoice at the chance to learn and grow!

Troubled moments in our life are of no value when viewed as failures. Instead, they are opportunities to gain information allowing you to accomplish extraordinary things. Things that have already occurred are referred to as our past because they do not belong in the present. As we learn to acknowledge the proper placement of our past, we can begin to see that it has one purpose in our life: to provide us with feedback.

Angel Stewart owns Body Mind & Soul Life Coaching. She specializes in child, adolescent and adult Neuro-Linguistics as a Practitioner, Speaker and Trainer. Learn more at www.LifeCoachBMS.com

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FAMILY BONDING RARELY HAPPENS OVER A COPY MACHINE AT “TAKE YOUR KID TO WORK DAY.”

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May 1 – 30 Linda Thompson Show Willow Lake Club Gallery Parkview Hills, 3707 Greenleaf Circle, Kalamazoo. 9 am – 6 pm. Reception May 11 from 6 – 8 pm. Oil Paintings by Linda Thompson. Free. 269372-4444 May 2 Retired School Personnel Meeting WMU Fetzer Center. 11:30 am. The Kalamazoo County Association of Retired School Personnel will meet. The program will be Kalamazoo in Bloom, with C.J. Drench. For more information contact MaryAnn Cronin at 269-375-9693. maryann191@ aol.com May 2, 9, 16, 23, 30 Vegan Night Chau Haus Schnitzel Station, 410 S Burdick, Kalamazoo MI. 5 - 9 pm. Delicious vegan and vegetarian options including vegan Paczkis. The menu changes weekly so check in and see what Chef Frankie has created! Prices vary weekly with the menu. 269 532-5245.

at Celebration! Cinema Crossroads Get out with your girlfriends for a fabulous evening with vendor booths, prizes, cocktails, popcorn, and a show!

Upcoming Events: Snatched May 2017 Rough Night June 2017

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28

May 2017

May 3 End-of-Life Care Comstock Township Library. 1 pm. Join funeral director, Tami Penny, and attorney, Angela Easterday for a presentation on End-of-Life Care. They will be here to answer questions about funeral arrangements and legal issues surrounding end-of-life treatment. Registration is required. Free.

269-345-0136.

May 4, 11, 18, 25 PolishNight Chau Haus Schnitzel Station, 410 S Burdick, Kalamazoo MI. 5 – 9 pm. Traditional Polish sampler including handmade pierogies and kolaczkis. $15. The kapusta soup is so delicious and warms you up!

269-532-5245.

May 4 - 6 Just Between Friends Children’s Consignment Sale Kalamazoo County Expo Center. Thurs.

4 – 9 pm, Fri. 9 am – 9 pm, Sat. 9 am – 5 pm. North America’s largest children’s and maternity consignment sales event. Held in Main Expo. $3 on Thursday only with free passes available. 616-450-5611. www. kalamazoo.jbfsale.com May 5 – 7 2017 Kalamazoo Rock, Gem, Jewelry, Fossil & Mineral Show Kalamazoo County Expo Center. General Admission Hours: Friday 4-8 pm, Saturday 10 am to 6 pm and Sunday 10 am to 5 pm.

Pan for gold, learn about silver smithing, play a game, polish a Petoskey stone, crack open a geode, build a mineral collection, search out fossils, buy some beads; all this and more can be done at the show.

Adults $4, Children under 12 are free, Scouts are free when in uniform. 269-9793348. kalamazoorockclub.org/annual-show/ May 6 Pizza Party at the Kalamzoo Humane Society Dog Walk Prairie View County Park, 899 East U Ave, Vicksburg. 11:00 am. Get vegan pizza from Camzies and hang out with the dogs, walk with the dogs, watch the Air Dogs, etc. $20 plus cost of food. Please visit www. vegankalamazoo.com for more info or email vegankalamazoo@gmail.com May 6 Integrative Breathwork Workshop Unwindings, 5466 Holiday Terrace, Kalamazoo 5/6: 2 pm - 5 pm. A musical medita-

tion for insight, emotional healing, creativity & renewal. $40. Pre-registration is needed.

269-388-2988. www.AdamczAssociates. com.

May 6 - 7 Art Sale Ladies Library in Kalamazoo. Friday 5 – 8 pm. Saturday 10 am – 4 pm. Find great artwork for your home or office during the Art Hop. We offer framed artwork by local and nationally known artists from $10 to $300. Come to enjoy art in this beautiful historic building! jansymons@ameritech. net, bennettewb@gmail.com May 7 Kalamazoo Community Chorale’s First United Methodist Church. 4 pm. Spring Concert theme is Home. 269-615-0167.

May 8 Coffee Hour Water Street Coffee Joint, 3037 Oakland Drive, Kalamazoo. 10 am to 1 pm. Join us for a fun coffee hour where we discuss all things vegan and nonvegan. Event is free (except the cost of your food and drink, vegan only please) www.vegankalamazoo. com vegankalamazoo@gmail.com May 9 Tibetan Buddhism for Modern Life People’s Church, 1758 N. Tenth St., Kalamazoo, 7 - 8:30 pm. Jewel Heart presents a discussion on how the ancient wisdom of Tibetan Buddhism can be applied to our lives today through meditation and mindfulness to develop compassion and wisdom that leads to true happiness.

Free. 734-994-3387. www.jewelheart.org May 10 Phone, Mail, and eScams Comstock Township Library. 3 pm. This presentation will help participants to recognize the signs of scams found through phone calls, mail, email and texts. In addition to this, you will learn how to minimize your risk of being scammed. FREE. Registration is required and begins on April 24th. 269-345-0136.

May 11 12th Annual National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day Carnival Kalamazoo County Expo Center. 4 – 7 pm.

This event celebrates children’s mental health and helps to reduce the stigma of receiving mental health services for youth and families in a free, fun, and interactive atmosphere. It provides education regarding children’s mental health issues, the services available for youth and families in our community, and how best to access those services. Free. 269-553-7122. mhoutrow@ kazoocmh.org May 11 – 13 Scholastic Book Fairs Warehouse Sale Kalamazoo County Expo Center. Thurs 11 am – 7 pm, Fri 9 am – 7 pm, Sat 9 am – 3 pm. Large book sale offering deep discounts. Free. 800-843-0112. www. scholastic.com/bookfairs/warehouse May 12 18th Annual Farm History Day Michigan Flywheelers Museum. 9 am – 2 pm. Over 1,600 students are expected to learn about farm life before cell phones, video games and YouTube. Washing clothes in galvanized tubs full of suds and washboards, grinding corn into meal, and twisting twine into rope are just a few of the things that students will learn how to do

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during the event. 269-637-5077. michiganflywheelers@yahoo.com May 12 – 13 Plant Sale Kalamazoo County Building, 3299 Gull Road. Friday 9 am – 6 pm. Saturday 9 am – 3pm. Sale is a fundraiser for the Kalamazoo Master Gardener program with locally grown annuals, perennials, vegetables, herbs, natives, hanging baskets and hand crafted items suitable for Mothers’ Day gifts. 269-383-8815.

May 13 Touch-A-Truck Kalamazoo County Fairgrounds. Siren free 10 am – 12 pm. General admission 12 – 2 pm. Explore 50+ unique vehicles from fire trucks and police cars to race cars and heavy machinery. Come meet the people who build, protect, and serve our community in these unique vehicles! Presented by the Junior League of Kalamazoo and Eaton Corporation. $10 for a family pass or $4 per adults and $2 per child. Children 2 and under are free. www.jkalamazoo.org/ touch-a-truck May 16, 23, 30 The Art of Living People’s Church, 1758 N. Tenth St., Kalamazoo, 7-8:30pm. Jewel Heart presents a 6-week course based on Gelek Rimpoche’s book, ‘Good Life, Good Death’. Techniques and meditation to transform negative emotions and states of mind into the causes for lasting happiness. $45 includes a copy of the book. 734-994-3387. www.jewelheart.org May 17 Introduction to Calligraphy Comstock Township Library. 5:30 pm. Join artist, Nancy Alexander, for an introduction to the art of calligraphy. Sign-ups are required for this free event and begin on Monday, May 1st at the adult reference desk. Space is limited. 269-345-0136.

May 18 16th Annual Portage Preservation Month Celebration 6869 S Sprinkle Rd, Portage,MI. 4:30 – 6:30 pm. The Preservation Celebration will focus on ‘Restoration for a New Era’ and provide historic property owners with insight to make affordable alterations to their property while maintaining historical accuracy. 269-329-4400. https://www.facebook.com/events/797382057080130/ May 18 Will You Have Income for Life?

Bravo! Restaurant and Café. 6 pm. Join us for a truly exciting presentation on how to turn your retirement savings into a lifetime of retirement income. Presenter: Zack Alkhamis. Each attendee will be offered a complimentary Income for Life Analysis. Pre-registration is required. 269-9780238. www.RetirementWealthManagementGroup.com May 18 Vegan Italian Feast La Cantina, 139 W. Michigan Ave, Paw Paw. 7 pm. La Cantina has created a 4-course Vegan Italian Feast just for us!

Also featuring a selection of Eight Vegan Wines. $30 plus drinks, tax, and gratuity. www.vegankalamazoo.com vegankalamazoo@gmail.com May 19 - 20 Plant Sale Portage Garden Club, 6851 Hickory Pt. East, Portage. Fri. 7 am - 3 pm, Sat. 8 am - noon.

Proceeds go to local charities. 269-492-2856.

Like us on Facebook: Portage Garden Club.

May 19 - 20 Integrative Breathwork Workshops Lord of Life Church, 9420 Portage Rd., Portage 5/19: 7 pm - 9 pm, 5/20: 10 am - 5 pm. A musical meditation for insight, emotional healing, creativity & renewal. $30/ Friday or $70/Saturday. Pre-registration is needed. 269-388-2988. www.AdamczAssociates.com.

May 20 Community Yard Sale & Ice Cream Social Comstock Township Library. Community Yard Sale: 9 am – 1 pm. Comstock Township Library is hosting an outdoor yard sale. Vendors may purchase a 10x10 space for $5.00.

Ice Cream Social: 10 am – 3 pm. Show you Comstock Library card or register for a card and get a free dish of ice cream and visit our toppings bar. 269-345-0136.

May 20 Childrens Peace Festival Bronson Park. 12 – 4 pm. Free. Peace Pizzazz assists by providing books and curriculum to bring peace to the children.

We suggest resources and encourage discussion on peace-related topics of inclusion and other nonviolent, constructive attitudes towards self and others. 734-341-9537. admin@peacepizzazz.org May 20 Barn Quilt Painting Workshop Vicksburg Library, 215 S. Michigan Ave. 12:30 – 4:30. (handicap access) Learn to draft, tape & paint your own 2’X2’ primed board suitable for outdoor display $40 fee.

Register with Hugh & Kitch Rinehart, Chairmen of Vicksburg Quilt Trail - 269-329-0481.

May 21 Kids ROAR Sherman Lake YMCA. 12 – 2 pm. Join us for Kids ROAR - a Rogue Obstacle Adventure Race - for kids ages 5-14. Be prepared to get dirty as you climb over obstacles, through mud and run through the trails of Sherman Lake YMCA! After the race, enjoy post race refreshments, activities and camp tours! 269-731-3000. www.shermanlakeymca.org

6th Annual Touch-A-Truck Saturday, May 13th Kalamazoo County Fairgrounds

Siren Free 10am–12pm; General Admission 12-2pm $10 family pass or $4/adult & $2/child (under 2 free)

May 23 PFC Cooking Class: Cooking 104 Snacks PFC Natural Grocery & Deli. 6:30 – 9 pm.

Lose the burned microwave popcorn, and instead learn how to make a variety of snacks for when those cravings hit. $20 per person Kids 12-17 are free with adult. Sign up with a friendly PFC cashier today. 269342-5686. media@pfckalamazoo.coop June 3 Ice Cream Social Ladies Library Association. The ladies’ Library Annual Ice Cream Social will take place during and after the June Jubilee Parade in downtown Kalamazoo. Come and enjoy ice cream treats including a “make your own sundae bar”. Free. Barbbaker37@gmailcom June 3 Plant Sale 2129 Ames Dr in Portage (north side of West Lake). Sale hours: 8:30 am to 2:30 pm. Petal Pushers Garden Club is having its 10th annual Plant Sale. We feature perennials & ground covers along with small bushes & trees. We also have a limited amount of annuals. Most plants were potted last summer and are well established. 269-806-4891. gardenclubplantsale@gmail.com

Greater Kalamazoo MAGAZINE | EXPO

Explore 50+ unique vehicles from fire trucks and police cars to race cars and heavy machinery. Come meet the people who build, protect, and serve our community in these unique vehicles!

Presented by Junior League of Kalamazoo and Eaton Corporation. www.jlkalamazoo.org/touch-a-truck

May 2017

29

As Tenneva Jordan said, “A mother is a person, who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.”Mothers are generous, selfless and kind, and bookshelves are chock full of enticing reads that celebrate the most important woman in everyone’s life.

READER’S

BY SUSAN ERHARDT

Cards for Brianna

I Want My Epidural Back

by Heather McManamy When author Heather McManamy was diagnosed with stage II breast cancer at age 33, she began recording herself talking to her young daughter, Brianna, and writing her greeting cards to open on special occasions throughout her life.

In “Cards for Brianna,” McManamy shares her journey of fighting cancer—a battle she eventually lost— accompanied by snippets of what she wrote to her daughter. This touching read will inspire you to pick up a pen and let the ones you love most know just how close they are to your heart.

Susan Erhardt has been a youth librarian with Kent District Library for 24 years, and a mom for 19. When she’s not pressing “just one more” book into people’s hands at the library, she can be found walking her dog, going to trivia night with her husband, Snapchatting her daughters or maybe even reading a book.

Mother, Can You Not?

by Karen Alpert

by Kate Siegel

Karen Alpert runs the blog “Baby Sideburns,” where she posts amusing anecdotes about being a “mediocre” parent. In this book she shares essays on the same topic, with chapters titled “I Tried the Crying it Out Method…I’m Still Crying” and “And For Dinner I Gave My Kids an Eating Disorder.” If you are blessed with motherhood, you will find yourself nodding your head in recognition of all the times you found yourself taking deep breaths, counting to ten and going to that happy place in your mind.

Kate Siegal runs the widely read Instagram account @crazyjewishmom, where she posts text conversations she has with her overly involved mother.

Siegal’s mom doesn’t hold back when it comes to letting her know she wants her daughter to get married and have a baby, pronto. The chapters are full of fun stories, including the time her eccentric mother forced her to kidnap a sick cat from the shelter, threw her a “period party” and invited herself along on a gynecological visit, interspersed with screenshots of hilarious text messages.

Smart Mom, Rich Mom

by Kimberly Palmer “Smart Mom, Rich Mom” is a guide for moms planning their financial future.

Author Kimberly Palmer covers smart spending, describing how to splurge without being foolish and how to start saving the money. She touches on the pros and cons of having children early in your career versus later and how to continue working outside the home after starting a family. The final chapters cover tips on sharing financial knowledge with your children and how to help them prepare for a secure future.

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

30

May 2017

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