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FAMILY MATTERS
How to Raise an Emotionally Healthy Son ket, bring it home and teach him how to care for it. Be polite to waiters, vendors, supermarket staff, and all the people you meet daily, especially if your son is accompanying you. Another way you can help him develop empathy is to encourage him to read fiction novels. Research shows that people reading fiction are generally more perceptive and empathetic because they can easily understand how the other person must be feeling.
BY JANET HOWARD 311DIVORCE.COM
W
hen you first held your son in your arms, your heart would have swelled with the love you have for him. In a few years, you realize that you must do more than just provide food and security for your little one. You have the responsibility of shaping him into the man that you want him to become, and you must start early. The next generation is counting on you to raise your son as a good partner to be, so be mindful of your actions and conversations with him. This is the 21st century where equality is asked, taught, and expected. You, as a parent, must mold your son into a respectful, decent, kind, humble, caring, and responsible human being and no one but you can do that. He sees you as a role-model and considers your behavior to be correct and normal, so it is on you what you teach him as right and wrong. It might get difficult at times, but remember your long-term goals and that every action you do now will contribute to it in some way. Here are some tips for good parenting to a son: 1.Teach Him How to Handle Emotions Teach him that it's okay to have emotions
and how to handle them healthily. In past generations, the word 'manly' has always been defined as quiet and unemotional. Strength does not really come from hiding emotions but understanding them and politely expressing them. Do not dismiss his emotions — respect his emotions, ask him if he wants to talk, listen to him, and share your own experiences or advice. Share your feeling and thoughts with him too so he knows it is okay to talk to you and that you are friendly and approachable. Teach him that it is okay to jump in excitement, or cry when he is hurt. You might just be trying to calm him by making him stop crying, but this might send an opposite message, which
is to hide and suppress his emotions. This can be very damaging to his relationships in the future, especially romantic relationships. Be empathetic but let him express. 2.Teach Empathy Empathy is a very strong and powerful skill that can greatly help in building friendships and relationships. When boys understand how the other person is feeling or might feel, they will not take extreme steps like bullying them. They will be respectful and kind. The best way to teach this is to guide them on how to behave when such situations turn up. If you see an injured puppy while returning home from the supermar-
3. Do Not Punish Unnecessarily Boys can sometimes be very difficult to handle, and you might want to give in to the urge of grounding him or even hitting him, but understand that those are very unhealthy ways of teaching manners. By doing so, you are teaching him that rash behavior and violence are okay. You might feel that you need to be sterner and take away his freedom but be prepared for the retaliation then. If your son is acting out, a better way of handling the situation is to talk to him and try to understand why he is behaving so. Get to the root of the problem instead of trying to stop it temporarily. Teach him why what he is doing is wrong instead of screaming at him and taking away his television time. This will not only help him in developing problem-solving skills but continued on page 8
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