Issue 2
working mums Nat Kringoudis talks about business, fetility, hormones, work-life balance and mama guilt
WHY EVERY MUM SHOULD HAVE A LIFE COACH WHAT MY NEWBORN HAS TAUGHT ME DEFINING YOUR OWN SUCCESS
collective MAGAZINE
CAN YOU STILL SET BIG GOALS FOR YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE A MUM? HONOURING YOUR TRUE SELF THROUGH CHANGE
Elle Hill is a handcrafted, personalised, jewellery brand. Elle Hill personalised jewellery is timeless in design and exquisite quality. We believe in being kind to ourselves, one another and the environment as reflected by our eco-friendly packaging and production practices. Elle Hill celebrates all that is beautiful and shows gratitude for every moment.
www.ellehill.com.au
r e t t e l s ’ r o Edit W
elcome to the second issue of the working mums collective online magazine.
I’m sure you will agree that the year is flying by – we are already ¼ of the way through the year - I cant believe it! Time certainly goes by so much quicker when you have children. Our cover star for this issue is Nat Kringoudis. Nat is mum to two beautiful children and is a doctor in Chinese medicine, acupuncturist, author, speaker and all-round natural fertility expert. She is also the founder of Melbourne women’s health clinic, The Pagoda Tree, and producer of HealthTalks TV, but what she really does is make women’s hormones happier than a Pharrell Williams song. Read my interview with her on page 33 where we chat about business, fertility, hormones, work-life balance and mama guilt. The theme’s that have come up a lot with mums I know this year have been self-care and mindfulness and this issue is jam packed with great articles on both of these topics. As busy working mums we are often rushing from one thing to another and it is very easy for us to put ourselves to the bottom of the list. My advice to you is to take some time out each day, even if it is just 5-10 minutes to do something just for you! Make it a challenge for the next month. It will make a world of difference to your mood and stress levels. Something I have noticed in talking to other mums is that after having children many of our passions and dreams have changed and some of the things we have been doing no longer bring us joy and we don’t want to do them anymore. On page 7 you can hear from Suzanne Chadwick, Founder and CEO of the Connection Exchange about how updating your skills and knowledge can be the difference between having the power to change your life or staying exactly where you are. Once again, I am so grateful to the amazing women who have contributed articles to this issue and shared the word about the magazine, in particular Lauren from Teacher Types who wrote this month’s article on her phone while breastfeeding her baby! Amazing multi-tasking! The feedback from the launch issue has blown me away and I am so blessed to have an amazing community of like-minded women around me. Mother’s Day is just around the corner so I hope you take some time out to celebrate just how amazing you are. I have compiled a mother’s day gift guide in this issue, feel free to leave this handy for your kids and hubby to see. I am also collaborating with Sarah at Bloom Wellbeing to spread some #mamalove this Mother’s Day. Read how you can get involved on page 32. I hope you enjoy this issue. I would love to hear your thoughts, feedback, comments or suggestions so please email me at info@workingmumscollective.com.au
Sarah xx working mums
collective magazine
2
Contents 5. Putting Balance back into your day 7. Knowledge means the power to change 11. What my newborn has taught me 13. Using the wisdom of the ages to manage modern life
17. Self-care survival tools for mamas 19. Can you still set big goals for yourself when you are a mum?
21. 10 things your child’s teacher wants you to know
23. How to be a good enough mum? 27. 10 minutes with Lauren Furiosi from Rashoodz
3 working mums
collective magazine
31. Mother’s Day Gift Guide 32. Mother to Mother - Mother’s Day 2016 33. COVER STORY Nat Kringoudis on business, fertility, hormones, work-life balance and mama guilt
39. Five simple ways to add mindfulness to your day
41. Honouring your true self through change 43. Defining your own success
45. Why every mum should have a life coach 47. Diving into the woo woo with essential oils
49. Finding new employment after maternity leave
51. Healthy Child - Healthy Mind
53. Working mums guide to fitting in exercise
55. Recipes
Slow Cooker Butter Chicken Greek Lamb Salad Apple and Cinnamon Mug Cake Healthy Chocolate Caramels
61. Essential oils in the kitchen 63. Invitation to Play
67. Intuitive, soulful cooking habits
68. Eight self-care ideas for busy mums
71. Now where did I put my keys... And my confidence?
working mums
collective magazine
4
Putting Balance back into your day There are 5 things to think about every day that put us into balance, but balance only comes when we pick 3 of them.
As the tick tock to the end of the school day looms, I’m desperately aware that my work to-do list has not had many things completed. I look around the house and I’m resigned to the fact that my mental list of at-home jobs hasn’t been touched at all. Nothing seems to have been completed. 5 working mums
collective magazine
The day has come and gone, and there is nothing to show for it. It’s 2.45pm and I have to pick up the children from school, rush them home for food, and I am now on mum-time, getting the mum jobs done for the day. Corralling four hot, tired children and getting ready for the after school activities means no more work time for me. Sometimes I try and trick myself into thinking I’ll do more work after everyone is asleep, but the reality is it never happens. I am learning that something Randi Zuckerberg said (sister to Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg) is so true.
“The entrepreneur’s dilemma: Maintaining friendships. Building a great company. Spending time with family. Staying fit. Getting sleep. Pick 3.” Work, family, fitness, friends, or sleep. Pick 3. It seems like too basic a concept, but these 5 things are the things that we working mums stress about. Other little things like the washing, or vacuuming don’t bring on the same pressure as trying to find time to go for a run, or the pressure to go to bed by 10pm. Juggling our work commitments with our family time, are a big enough stress, without adding in any more things to balance, and yet we are definitely trying to do more than just that every day. Even the weekends can turn very stressful as we try and cram in everything else like maintaining our friendships, or doing exercise, plus we add in a sleep in, and suddenly there isn’t time for our families the way that we would have liked. We head back to work on Monday, just as unsatisfied and unbalanced as we did heading into the weekend.
But what if we focused on only 3 things? The juggle is a daily one, and it can be a choice. Trying to put everything in my life every day, means I fail at almost all of it.
Pick 3. As working mums we can feel like nothing will ever be in balance again. Pulled this way and then that way.
Pick 3. But it’s a choice. Every day is a choice.
Pick 3. I’m more aware this month than ever before that the choice is mine.
Work, family, fitness, friends, or sleep.
Pick 3. If you made a choice every single day, to only pick 3 areas to focus on, and point all your energy into only 3 areas for the day, would you feel more balanced? If you scheduled in other points for another day, for the weekend, for another time, would you get to the end of the month and feel like you had lived a more successful life that month? I believe that we can find the balance if we make active choices daily about where our energy should go. As a working mum, family comes on the list daily, and work has to hold precedence during the week. And sometimes we can be sneaky with our time, scheduling in ‘friend-time’ while watching sports from the side-line, multi-tasking as needed. Today, for me, sleep lost and fitness won as I rolled out of bed at 5.30am. The other two choices were family and work. There was almost relief that I didn’t feel like I needed to organise a friend catch-up for coffee, which maybe in the past I may have tried to squeeze into my day, just to touch base and stay connected. And it also meant that I would feel stressed about the time taken off working, or a little guilty that I didn’t take that time to do some exercise.
Now, I simply take a breath and think about how to succeed in my day, and it’s not by trying to do it all!
Written by Stephanie Davis Stephanie Davis is a parenting coach and blogger at Modern Mum Happy Life and has written her first book “Parent Your Child Your Way”. She is a mum of four children, one daughter and three boys aged 6-11 years. Life is busy, but fulfilling and wonderful, and Stephanie’s mission is to help other mums feel good about their parenting, using tools like ‘Parenting by Personality’ and ‘Mumglow’ to build confidence, and create energy in parenting. working mums
collective magazine
6
Knowledge
7 working mums
collective magazine
means the power to change So why is this article called ‘Knowledge means the power to change’?
I don’t know about you but when I was single, living in London and working, I wasn’t really concerned about always learning new things. I was busy with partying, travelling and life was a little crazy. Now that I’m older with a family my appetite for learning is insatiable. As a corporate professional, duel business owner, community builder, mum, wife and more there are so many things that I still want to do and accomplish in my life. In order to realise those big dreams I find myself constantly searching for learning opportunities. Whether that’s online learning, live events, workshops or working one on one with experts and coaches, I find the more I learn the more I want to learn.
As our passions and dreams change and potentially the things that we have been doing are no longer what we want to do, updating your skills, knowledge and ongoing learning can be the difference between having the power to change your life or staying exactly where you are. The amazing thing is that there is no shortage of amazing opportunities to keep expanding your knowledge, skills and horizons. Online Education Let me tell you, there is no shortage of great online learning sites and opportunities to expand your mind and opportunities. With experts from all the over the world offering high quality training on sites such as Creativelive, Coursera free certificates, courses and degrees from top universities and the likes or places like http://www.lynda.com/ for more technical training courses. Some are free whilst others are paid. Saying that the costs can be fairly minimum from $10 to $50 a month on a membership basis so anyone can access them and continue their learning journey.
working mums
collective magazine
8
With acro of w bus dinn real can
Events and Workshops With so many wonderful women in business groups across Australia and globally, there is a wide range of wonderful events to check out and attend. From business events to inspirational breakfasts, lunches and dinners, taking the time to find one local to you can really help you to connect with like-minded women who can help you on your new journey of discovery. One of the reasons that I created The Connection Exchange was to provide a space of real learning for women in business and I know other amazing community builders that do a fantastic job of bringing people together. Search on 9 working mums
collective magazine
networking groups or women in business communities on google in your local area. Another great site is meetup.com for local interest groups if your passion is not business specific. From movie clubs to geek girls to fitness fans.
Networking and connection Being around others can help you to see different possibilities, if you’re unsure of what it is you may want to do. Trying out different networking events or making connections with women that you meet either online through the likes of Facebook groups or in person at get togethers. Making time to get out there and connect in person also breaks the routine of being at home with the kids or working at home by yourself and will open up
h so many wonderful women in business groups oss Australia and global, there is a wide range wonderful events to check out and attend. From siness events to inspirational breakfasts, lunch and ners, taking the time to find one local to you can lly help you to connect with like-minded women who n help you on your new journey of discovery.
opportunities that you may not have otherwise have had.
Mastermind Bizbesties If you are looking to either start a business or you’re already in business then finding #bizbesties is something I would highly recommend. A mastermind is a group of 3-4 women that get together every fortnight or so to support each other to grow their business. Sharing your goals and what’s happening in your business and getting the support from other women who have a range of skills can help you grow and learn new things, it can also help you think outside the box to create new products and services or just do things differently with their help. Surrounding yourself with amazing people will always mean that you can get to where you’re going quicker, happier and feeling fully supported. Many women start doing something new but because it feels hard or lonely and they don’t have the right people around them, they give up too soon – so this is something you definitely want to try and create if you can. As our lives and situations changes, it’s natural that our interests and desires change too.
Know that it’s normal and that there are so many options now for you to consider and tap into to create the changes that you want in your life. Don’t let a lack of knowledge of skills stop you – get out there and enjoy the journey of something new!
Written by Suzanne Chadwick Suzanne is a Business & Brand strategy coach at suzannechadwick.net and the CEO of The Connection Exchange providing coaching, training & events for women in business and supporting them to build their business, brand and bottom line. A mum, wife and corporate professional, Suzanne works with women to navigate building their business from scratch. As an international conference speaker and trainer, Suzanne also coaches women to create the ‘Power Personal Brand’ through public speaking and Owning the Stage. You can find and connect with Suzanne on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram.
working mums
collective magazine
10
What my newborn has taught me
We’re all told that ‘becoming a mother will change your life’, but I didn’t realise how complete that change really is until I became a mum late last year. In an instant, my life was different. Prior to the birth of my daughter, I had worked in full-time corporate roles for over 10 years. In both my professional and personal life I am a classic, Type A, overachieving perfectionist focused on goals and to do lists. I had very few friends with children and really had no idea what I was getting myself into, so that first week home from the hospital was a bit of a shock. I was suddenly responsible for keeping a tiny human alive and nothing was familiar. At first, I tried to tackle it like I would a challenging task at work. I researched and read countless articles while breastfeeding in the middle of the night, and felt frustrated if I couldn’t make the advice work for us (which happened frequently, because while I read the articles, my baby didn’t!). I pined for a time in the not too distant future when my daughter would be able to tell me what was wrong with her, and seemingly, things would be easier. One day, I suddenly realised that I was doing it all wrong. Instead of embracing my new role as a mum, I was fighting against it. I needed to trust my instincts (not Dr. Google) and be more present. I doubt I’m the only one that’s been on this journey, so if you’re in a similar position the following tips might help: Don’t wish time away I came to the realisation a few years ago that the worst thing you can do is wish your life away while waiting for something to happen - waiting for a holiday that’s a year away, waiting until you can quit that job or waiting until you can afford to buy that house. If you spend your life doing this, life may be over before you know it. A few weeks after my daughter was born, I realised I was guilty of doing just this. By wishing she could talk, by wishing she would grow enough to wear that cute dress, I was missing the fleeting newborn stage
instead of enjoying what I had right then. While there’s nothing wrong with looking forward to what the future holds, the trick is to appreciate what you have right now, and know that it is enough. Keep a diary I wish I could claim credit for this idea, but a friend actually suggested it to me. I’ve started keeping a diary, but instead of starting each entry ‘dear diary’, it’s addressed to my daughter. In it I record the big moments of her life, along with the little things that make me smile. In some ways it’s similar to a gratitude journal as it provides an opportunity to reflect on my day and be grateful for what I have. It will also make a fantastic gift for her someday - I have a terrible memory, so there’s no way I’d remember all these stories otherwise! Don’t overcommit yourself The days fly by if you’re busy and before you know it, your baby will be a toddler. Don’t say yes to too many invitations. Instead, try to take time regularly (I’d recommend at least once a week) to have a ‘day off’, where you have no commitments and instead have the freedom and time to really focus on your child. Seriously, there’s nothing more special than just watching them sleep. As parents, we think that we’re responsible for teaching our children what they need to know about life. I’ve been surprised to discover that despite being a tiny newborn, my baby has just as much to teach me as I have to teach her. I’m sure that this is something that will continue as she grows, but I’m content to enjoy every step along that journey as it happens.
Written by Melanie Gandiva Mel is a new mum and blogger at The Well-Planned Wife. On her blog, Mel shares her life lessons and perspective on motherhood, work, and health and wellness. She’s a perfectionist who actually enjoys making to do lists, but is trying to slow down and appreciate the little things. You’ll find her blog at www. wellplannedwife.com or can say hello on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/TheWellPlannedWife/ or Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/ thewellplannedwife/
working mums
collective magazine
12
Using the wisdom of the ages to manage modern life. Why is everyone talking about mindfulness? 13 working mums
collective magazine
• Reduction in symptoms of depression and anxiety
For the past couple of years, it has felt like you can barely turn around without seeing someone advocating mindfulness as a panacea for things as varied as improved mental health, workplace productivity, and increased academic achievement amongst school children. The so called “mindfulness revolution” sweeping across the western world can almost seem too good to be true, and those of us who are advocating the benefits need to be cautious that we don’t get too evangelical.
But if you’re serious about managing your stress, improving your health, and being the best parent you can, there are some very good reasons you may want to climb aboard this train. There’s been a veritable explosion in the scientific research on the benefits of mindfulness, with the findings including: • Changes to both the structure and function of the brain • Increased ability to manage stress
• Enhanced quality of sleep • Improved immune function • Increased ability to regulate emotions • Improved wellbeing and happiness And as if that isn’t enough, here are a further three reasons why, as a working mother, you may want to develop a mindfulness practice: 1. Greater resilience in your children – one of the most promising areas of research in mindfulness practice is its impact on our children. And one of the core ways of introducing mindfulness to children is to have a parent (or teacher, or other significant role model) who practices themselves – children do as you do, not as you say, right? This recent research demonstrates that parents who have a mindfulness practice themselves raise less stressed children. And in an age of constant information overload, and ever increasing expectations, that can only be a good thing for our kids. 2. Prevention is better than cure – Anyone who has ever had children, will tell you what an enormous life transition it is. PANDA, the Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia initiative, estimates that 100,000 parents experience depression and anxiety each year, and high levels of stress are a key factor in developing mental health issues. Whether or not you experience mental health issues, developing a regular mindfulness practice is one way of managing the stress that is inherent in parenting and working in the modern age. 3. Taking care of your relationships - while there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship - romantic or otherwise - there is a significant body of research starting to point to mindfulness as a useful tool in managing interpersonal conflict and the stress it generates. Healthy relationships working mums
collective magazine
14