infinite stories by the kids of the writers’ exchange
volume 6 ◆ issue 2 ◆ spring 2019
Copyright © 2019 The Writers’ Exchange This book is a collection of writing and art created by the kids of the Writers’ Exchange during our 2019 winter and spring after-school programs at our home base and at Xpey’ Elementary School. The Writers’ Exchange gets inner-city kids excited about reading, writing and their own potential through mentoring and creative projects like this chapbook. All Writers’ Exchange programs are free for the children and families we serve, so we could not exist without the support of amazing donors, including Social Venture Partners Vancouver, BOCCI, Marily Mearns, the Waterbury Foundation, Megan Abbott, Linda Louis, Bernard MacLeod, the City of Vancouver, the Grayross Foundation held at the Vancouver Foundation, Sasamat Foundation, TELUS, Judy Gale, Richard and Suzanne Cole, Nancy and Ted Maitland, John and Nina Cassils, Jim Fletcher, Lindsay Mearns, Scott Shaw, Premium Brand Foods, the Edith Lando Charitable Foundation, the Wolrige Foundation, the Van Tel/Safeway Credit Union Legacy Fund, Steve Munford and CLICK (Contributing to Lives of Inner City Kids Society). Thank you.
Writers’ Exchange 207–877 East Hastings Street Vancouver, BC V6A 3Y1 vancouverWE.com We are honoured to be able to provide safe, fun and welcoming programs for kids and their families on the unceded and traditional territories of the xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish) and seÌíÌwitulh (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. As uninvited guests on this land we are grateful to be able to enjoy this beautiful place and we are committed to building relationships and learning about ongoing traditional ways of life from our Indigenous friends. Design and layout: Claire Balderston, cbalderston.com Creative lead: Taylor Richardson
The Wolrige Foundation
Van Tel/Safeway Credit Union Legacy Fund
generously donated the printing of this chapbook
Give Me Space!
Contents Big Bang Beginnings Exploring in Space, by Sherry • 3 The Penguin and the Polar Bear, by Carol • 3 The Race for Dogs, by Ewen • 3
Dungeon Quest Desert Outpost, by Eric • 11 Where’s Nunya?, by Do You Know the Way • 11 The Grinch Who Stole Easter, by Kayla • 12
The Potato Pototos, by Beatrice • 4
The Adventures of Shakespeare, by Peaches • 14
Writers’ Exchange Fun, by Ni • 4
Quarks and Sparks
The Mad Scientist, by Francis • 5
My Cats and My Friends, by Donna • 15
Esmerelda’s Autobiography, by J.T. • 5 How I Want to Become Famous, by Mya • 6 Felicia, by Joumana • 6 At the Mall, by Marissa • 6 Egg Plan, by Alexander • 7 Theodora and Her Dogs, by Jasmine B.G. • 8 A Sea Otter Named Felicia, by Starla • 8 Hobbies, by Noah • 8 The Universe Is Magic This Story Has No Title!, by William • 9 Dancing Rainbow Kitties, by Asia • 9 Fun at School, by Anonymous • 10 Breaking out into Sooong, by Niobe • 10
Cute Creatures, by Aisa • 15
My Favourite Things, by Jason • 15 Sophia and the Dragon, by Aliyah • 16 Tornado, by Justice • 16 If I Had a Million Dollars, by Anson • 16 The Cat Gets Lost, by Sylvia • 16 Mrs. Nothing, by Riley • 16 U.S.A., by Calvin • 17 Scarlet’s Story, by Kiana • 17 Charizard and Enta in a Battlefield, by Oscar • 17 I Have a Toy Worm, by Abreena • 17 2 Sides, by Gia • 18 The Flower, by Dorth • 18 Gary’s Mod, by Aaron • 18 A Special Day, by Biden • 18 Jeffry, by Jett • 19 Waiting for the End, by Sam • 18
Give Me Space! Lists & Lessons for Earthlings
Otherwordly Adventures
10 Reasons to Not Follow Your Parents, by Allen • 20
The Tornado, by Jackson • 32
Unicorn Potion, by Kaycie • 20
Thanos and Black Panther, by Kiasa • 33
How to Make an Origami Box, by Selena • 21 Edible Potions, by Chi Chi • 22 What I Will Do This Summer, by Reina • 22 How to Make a Fortune Teller, by Kevin W. • 23 My Top 12 Songs, by Hannah • 23 My Top 8 Songs/Artists, by Raine • 24 Top 5 List: My Favourite Songs, by Sophia • 24 My Favourite Old Avengers: Top 6, by Will • 24
Cat Kingdom, by A.L. • 32
The Spider Man, by Avene • 33 War Times, by Matthias • 33 Jackson, by S.S.T.Y. • 34 Arceus Goes Nowhere, by Benny S. • 34 The Little Haunted Lisa, by Lulu • 35 Spider-Man vs. Venom, by Jayden • 35 The Poor Man, by Farley • 36 Waldo’s Skateboard Adventure, by Mitchell • 36
Top 10 Warrior Cat Facts, by Arwen • 25
Infinite Epics & Continuing Stories
A Galaxy of Face Palms
Light vs. Shock: Part 2, by Kevin C. • 37
Chicken, by Anthony • 26 Waiting for the Bus, by Kimi • 27
Jeff and Other People, by Gavin • 37
The Amazon Thing, by Jeff • 27
Thor and the Beets, by Wyatt • 38
Taco Bell :p, by J.H. • 28
Chaos Escapes, by Hollis • 39
Toilet Named Stinky, by Alan • 28
Crash No. 2, by Philip • 39
Toilet Paper, by Yammie • 29
Fortnite, Part 3, by Jack • 40
Torture Every Day, by Veeco • 29
Lemmy: The Prequel, by Thor • 42
The Blanking Page, by Finn • 29
Conspiracy Theories, Continued, by Steph S. • 43
Memes, by S.M. • 30 The Bunny Pig, by Mary • 31 Jeff and Banana Man, by Tommy • 31
BTS Jeet, by Benny D. and Tony L. • 44 Jeef, by Tony • 48
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Big Bang Beginnings Exploring in Space By Sherry, age 6
Once upon a time there was a little girl. She got bored at school. She wanted to go to space. She took her spaceship into space to explore. After a while she realized that she was late for dinner. She looked and looked to find a portal that would help her get home. She found one and felt really happy. She went home for dinner.
The Penguin and the Polar Bear By Carol, age 6
The penguin was sledding on the ice and fell down. The penguin got back up and went to catch fish. The penguin caught more fish. Then he shared his fish with his friends. The penguin heard a sound, and saw that it was a polar bear. The polar bear scared the penguin, who ran away. All of his penguin friends ran away too. The polar bear called the ice his home.
The Race for Dogs By Ewen, age 9
Once there was a puppy named Kai. He was fast and he loved to sleep and eat. He wanted to be in the Olympics in the 100-yard dash and win. He practiced all day and all night but he wasn’t old enough. But he could do the 50-yard dash. The race was in two days. He kept practicing every day and night until the race. It was close to race time and he was ready. The race was in an hour. The race was close, but Kai won.
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The Potato Pototos By Beatrice, age 11
Welcome to the Potato Pototo family! This book is to introduce the Potato Pototos! First up: Steve the Strongman... he lifts a cinnamon stick with a marshmallow on each end of it. If you ask me, that’s pretty strong! On the outside he’s a muscle man but on the inside he’s really funny. Okay, now Sylvie—she does the silks and the trapeze. She is really a princess and she’s super sweet. She will help with almost anything you need. (But, BTW, she is almost always wrong!) Sylvie is always a good friend and is the second youngest in the family! Last but not least is Crispy the Clown. He’s very funny but really weird sometimes. He can be very smart when it comes to learning about fruit. His job is, obviously... to be a clown!
Writers’ Exchange Fun By Ni, age 7
One day I went to the Writers’ Exchange. I was scared because I thought the people there were going to be mean. When I got there we played games and the mentors said I could read. And I did read! The people there were nice. I met a lot of people! I am looking forward to maybe making slime next time.
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The Mad Scientist By Francis, age 8
Once upon a time there was a mad scientist. He wanted to be rich and famous. But how? Here was his plan: First he would go into a bank and then he would bring the money back home. Then, when the news came out, he would bring the money back to the bank and act like a hero. At midnight the scientist went to the bank to start his plan. He broke the glass and went into the vaults. He used a fire to open the vault. He got everything you could imagine: diamonds, gold, money, jewels and crystals. The police came, and he used his rope and broke out of the ceiling. The police did not see his face because the scientist had a mask on. But they did know what he was wearing. The next day the news spread out. The scientist came back and said, “Guess what. I found the jewels.” But he did something wrong—he wore the same clothes he was wearing when he broke into the bank. He was sent to court and sentenced to 25 years in jail. The mad scientist did not like it at the jail. He got bullied sometimes. The meals were bad and his clothes were stinky but most of all he was disappointed at himself. He needed a plan to get out of that horrible jail. To be continued…
Esmerelda’s Autobiography By J.T., age 12
Esmerelda is old. She was born on September 9, 999. She was orphaned at 9 and went to 9 orphanages. She ate 9 Hawthorns at each of her 9 meals so she didn’t sleep for 9 days. Then she threw up 9 times and went to 9 hospitals with 9 doctors each. Then she got 9 puppies and got better 9 minutes later.
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How I Want to Become Famous By Mya, age 12
So, hello everybody. My name is Mya. I’m in Grade 6 and I want to be famous, so if you read this, make sure you share this story with whoever you talk to. ’Cause I want to be famous and I don’t know how I’m going to become famous. You can help me with this by telling your friends and family, and they can tell other people so that it spreads around. Then I’ll be famous. I know, it’s not the best plan, but it’s last minute. Or I can just make up a silly lie of how I fought off a lion with a fish. P.S. I didn’t really fight off a lion with a fish. Or did I?
Felicia By Joumana, age 10
One upon a time there was a girl named Felicia... Everybody thought that her name was weird. Felicia went to a school where everybody would say “Bye Feliciaaaa.” Everybody thought that it was a joke, but what they didn’t know was that she took it seriously, even if people thought her name was a joke. One day, she had enough. What they didn’t know was that... plot twist... she’s Santa! And that is why you never judge someone.
At the Mall By Marissa, age “3”
Hey! It’s me, angry little Asian girl. Today I will be going to Metrotown with my friends. I will tell you what I will do. So first, my friends and I will go to buy food, then we will walk around. I’ll also see a lot of cute guys I want to talk to, but they always have a girlfriend. It makes me sad that I don’t have a boyfriend, but that’s okay because I will get one some day. That’s all for today! See ya on my next adventure.
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Egg Plan By Alexander, age 8
Dear Kids I can’t bring eggs this Easter
Next Easter....
?
We should take the Sure gems
Yay! home of the easter bunny
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egg egg
egg
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Theodora and Her Dogs By Jasmine B.G., age 11
Once upon a time there was a dog, and he had an owner. Her name was Theodora and the dog’s name was Spot. Spot went missing and Theodora got so sad. She asked her parents to get her a new dog, but her parents said no at first. She got much sadder and then her parents knew that Spot was missing. Her parents got her a new dog.
A Sea Otter Named Felicia By Starla, age 7
There was a sea otter named Felicia. She was in an earthquake. She started crying. She wanted to make it home but she didn’t know where to go. She saw her mom and dad and went to visit them. But she twisted her ankle. Her parents helped her get home.
Hobbies By Noah, age 11
I like going swimming with my mom’s boyfriend, Norm. He takes me to Hillcrest Pool. Once, I dove from the top platform. When I was at the top, I didn’t like to look down because it was scary. It took me a minute to dive off. I didn’t go as deep into the water as I expected when I jumped. I felt happy!
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The Universe Is Magic! This Story Has No Title! By William, age 7
It happens in the Pokémon World at first. Arceus and Pikachu want to find out who is stronger. They arm wrestle. Arceus wins! Pikachu is sad. Arceus makes a portal to the ocean. The portal accidentally opens to the Roblox World. It leads everyone to the ocean. Narwhal and Jelly say, “Do you want some waffles?” Everyone says, “Yes!” So a person comes and says, “Why not be friends?” Then everyone becomes friends.
Dancing Rainbow Kitties By Asia, Age 11
Changing colours rainbow-kitties Dancing to pen pineapple apple pen In a hotel room full of rainbow kitties Doing Fortnite dances One kitty was doing the electro shuffle While snapping his claws Then all the kitties did the electro shuffle They did the electro shuffle in their sleep And they partied over and over again
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Fun at School By Anonymous
After hanging my coat on the hook, I went to sit around the carpet with my best friends while our teacher sang us the ABCs. A little later we had nap time and our teacher sang us “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” Then I woke up and start crying unknowingly, while the teacher comforted me. Then I slept again. At the end of the day I ran up to my mom and gave her a great big hug.
Breaking out into Sooong By Niobe, age 11
My name is Ally and my school is called Song Academy. Our school is basically a musical, and in my school we all break into soooong! Soooorry! about that. All of our classes are about siiinging! about our pitch and stuff. I don’t even know simple maths or grammers, as you can see. This is the Grade 9 timetable: 9:00 Pitch 10:30 Break 11:00 Choir 12:00 Lunch 1:00 Writing Songs (Ally is not very good at it) 2:00 Helium Balloon Singing 3:00 Home Time And we do this every single day! For lunch, we have food that is supposed to help with our voices. I have no idea if it works.
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Dungeon Quest Desert Outpost: Part 1 By Eric, age 8
Once a guy teleported into a weird, sandy place. He saw sand peasants. He went closer to check on them. A sand peasant fought him. A guy saw what happened and screamed as loud as he could. All the sand peasants heard him and ran to him. The same thing happened for three hours. Another guy knew what to do, because he had done this already. He grabbed two spell powers. One was blue fireball. And there was another blue fireball. Then he got a flaming sword. And plasma armour. He battled all the sand peasants. Then the gate opened and he went through it. He did the same thing all over again, until the last gate opened. There was a sand giant. His flaming sword was really powerful. It took four tries to defeat the giant. Everybody respawned, but the guy was really tired.
Where’s Nunya By “Do You Know the Way,” age 7
Image by Jocelyn, a volunteer mentor
A red Sonic came and said, “Do you know the way?” Then he fell asleep. He was so comfortable, but he had a bad dream.
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The Grinch Who Stole Easter By Kayla, age 9
Every Who, including the Grinch, was now enjoying Christmas. But there was still one more problem: it was Easter time and the Grinch didn’t get any chocolate because he was not a kid. But he couldn’t get it even when he was a kid, because he was up in his cave and the Easter Bunny thought it was too cold to go up there and give him some.
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Give Me Space! When he saw the kids getting chocolate from Easter each year, it made him jealous and he wanted some too, but he knew that he was a grown-up, so he couldn’t get any. So he got an idea—an awful idea. A wonderful, awful idea. He told himself that he would go down to Whoville that night and steal their Easter. “You might not be able to steal Christmas, but you could steal Easter,” he said. So he got his dog Max and dressed Max and himself up. They got a giant Easter basket and headed down to Whoville just as the Easter Bunny was finishing up the last few houses. The first little house on the square would be the first one to go. They looked around and found lots of eggs. They looked inside and outside. They found so many in all the houses. The basket was full and they had checked all the houses. He said, “Let’s go, Max.” So they settled in and went back to Mount Crumpet. As soon as they got back they saw a black hole, and the Grinch said, “Let’s dump some chocolate in there so they can feel sad and feel just how I did when I didn’t get any.” They poured all the candy in the black hole. He said, “They’ll be waking up now. And that is a sound I simply must hear! They will all wake up and they will all cry, boo hoo hoo.” So he put his hand up to his ear and listened. But that sound wasn’t sad! It was merry. Very merry. He thought to himself, “Maybe Easter doesn’t come from a store. Maybe it means perhaps a bit more.” So he bought some more chocolate from the Whoville Store. He bought even more chocolate than he had thrown away. The Grinch went back to Whoville with his dog Max and gave back the chocolate. He ate some treats because he was given the extras for giving it back. The Whos explained to him that he could have it if he just asked. So he asked nicely if they could have a party, and they said yes. So they had a big Easter party and everyone was invited. And he promised to ask for everything else he wanted.
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The Adventures of Shakespeare By Peaches, age 10
Shakespeare is a pretty prickly guy. Literally. He’s covered in spikes. That’s because he’s a hedgehog. Shakespeare gets to sleep all day. At night, when everyone is asleep, he heads out to explore the world. One night he came across a huge tent with red and white stripes. Shakespeare loved to explore new things, so he headed right in. To be continued...
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Quarks and Sparks Cute Creatures By Aisa, age 8
One there was a group of cute creatures. And the name of the group was Sumikko Gurashi. They went around the world.
My Cats and My Friends By Donna, age 8
I play with my crazy cats, Moonie and Koda. I also play with my friends, Harmony, Wossen and Vianna.
My Favourite Things By Jason, age 8
I like to play with kids. I like to cook noodles and eat them plain. I like going to the library to read and borrow books. Running around in the gym is my favourite part of school. I play soccer.
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Sophia and the Dragon By Aliyah, age 6
There was a princess named Sophia. She lived in a castle. A dragon captured her. It was nice to Sophia. It gave her some candy and cupcakes and cookies. They lived together happily ever after.
Tornado By Justice, age 9
One day there was a tornado. It blew down a whole bunch of buildings and cars were blowing away and trees were falling down and people were flying in the air. To be continued‌
If I Had a Million Dollars By Anson, age 9
If I had a million dollars, I would buy Jeffy.
The Cat Gets Lost By Sylvia, age 7
One day, a cat got lost. Her name was Rainbow. Then she found her way out of the forest. She went back home.
Mrs. Nothing By Riley, age 7
Mrs. Nothing stuck out her nose in front of everyone. She went swimming in the toilet to find gold. Her earrings came out. So she failed.
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U.S.A. By Calvin, age 7
One day the U.S.A. was going to tape explode Russia. After the tape explosion the boss of Russia built a tape-bomb-proof house.
Scarlet’s Story By Kiana, age 7
I was a pretty girl. Charlotte, Krista and Kristal were my bullies. They bullied me. I felt sad. I asked Kenzy to play with me at the playground.
Charizard and Enta in a Battlefield By Oscar, age 7
One day Enta and Charizard were battling at a battlefield and Enta won. The battle ended.
I Have a Toy Worm By Abreena, age 7
I have a toy worm. His name is Slimey. Slimey is nine. Slimey is soft and fuzzy. His birthday is April 24.
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2 Sides By Gia, age 10
I was asleep, then an earthquake happened. It scared me so much. I was still asleep but I knew it was scary. Then I told my mom I have dyslexia. She was upset but it’s okay.
The Flower By Dorth, age 8
I saw a flower. It was growing, then it was getting old. I came back when I was 20, and it was dead.
Gary’s Mod By Aaron, age 7
Once upon a time, I was building a fort out of 10,000,000 tables and one toilet. I have the toilet in my bedroom. And the bathroom in my bedroom. To be continued...
A Special Day By Biden, age 6
Kai and his dog Dimples did an art project. They painted rocks and made green slime. They went to Metrotown and ate Happy Meals.
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Jeffry By Jett, age 8
Jeff did not actually die, he survived the attack. Petey is from Dog Man.
Waiting for the End By Sam, age 10
A guy was waiting and waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, aaaaaaaaaannnnnnnndddddd done! He was waiting for the end.
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Lists & Lessons for Earthlings 10 Reasons to Not Follow Your Parents By Allen, age 11
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
They will embarrass you. They sometimes don’t listen to you. They make you eat junk food, like apples. They don’t let you eat healthy food, like pizza. They have moustaches. They make everything not fun. They don’t allow friends to come over. Water is bad for you. Banana is good for you. Chicken is good for you.
Unicorn Potion By Kaycie, age 8
Ingredients Elf eyeballs Eyelashes Fairy dust 10 unicorn tears River of 1,000 wishes What does your potion do? It turns you into a unicorn until you’re 90. Frog eyes, fairy dust and dragon bones.
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How to Make an Origami Box By Selena, age 9
You will need: • Origami paper • Scissors • Your hands • Tape or a stapler
Directions: 1. Make sure your origami paper is square. 2. Fold the paper corner to corner until you have an X. 3. Fold that in half twice, using one “hot dog” fold and one “hamburger” fold. 4. Fold again from the bottom up to the middle line. Do this for each side. 5. Pinch the corners to make a triangle, and fold up the edges, with the corners sticking out. 6. Staple or tape the triangle corners to each side.
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Edible Potions By Chi Chi, age 8
Strawberry Cherry juice (edible) (devil) Orange juice (golden wing) Lemon mango pineapple (angel) Mint iced tea (poison plants) Blueberry juice (sky) Cherry blueberry juice (purple) (Harley Quinn juice) Watermelon dragon fruit juice (love) Apple (heaven) Chocolate milk (cocoa powder) Blackberry juice (queen of the night) Peach juice (princess peach)
What I Will Do This Summer By Reina, age 10
1. Go to Latchkey. 2. Get a new bank account. 3. Play outside on some days.
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How to Make a Fortune Teller By Kevin W. age 7
1. Fold the paper.
2. Fold it again.
4. Fold all sides.
5. And flip.
7. Flip it over.
3. Open it.
6. Fold all edges.
8. Fold it in half.
My Top 12 Songs By Hannah, age 12
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12.
“Heathens” by 21 Pilots “Tear in My Heart” by 21 Pilots “The Good, the Bad, and the Dirty” by Panic! At the Disco “House of Memories” by Panic! At the Disco “Gasoline” by Halsey “Annabelle’s Homework” by Alex Benjamin “Blood” by My Chemical Romance (MCR) “Welcome to the Black Parade” by MCR “American Idiot” by Green Day “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)” by MCR “Chlorine” by 21 Pilots “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers
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My Top 8 Songs/Artists By Raine, age 10
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.
Billie Eilish “When the Party’s Over” (Billy Eilish) “Ocean Eyes” (Billie Eilish) “Six Feet Under” (Billie Eilish) “Heathens” (21 Pilots) “Gasoline” (Halsey) “Two Punks in Love” (Bülow) “Bury a Friend” (Billie Eilish)
Top 5 List: My Favourite Songs By Sophia, age 10
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
“Lily” by Alan Walker “Alone” by Alan Walker “The Spectre” by Alan Walker “Faded” by Alan Walker “Malibu” by Alan Walker
My Favourite Old Avengers: Top 6 By Will, age 10
If you’re wondering, I like the Avengers because they’re cool. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.
Captain America Hulk Thor Iron Man Spider-Man Hawkeye
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Top 10 Warrior Cat Facts By Arwen, age 11
1. Sun Star only got eight lives because Pine Star was still alive. 2. Erin Hunter isn’t one person. It’s eight women. 3. The kits Mapleshade saw were illusions. She was mad from grief. 4. Tiger Star would’ve been nicer if Pine Star had stayed. 5. After the great battle, they buried the lost cats in four trees, and years later the ones today don’t know it’s an ancient burial ground. 6. Thunder Star’s dad was Sky Star, so all descendants of Thunder Star (like Tiger Star/Spottedleaf) have Sky Clan blood. 7. Bramble Claw and Hawk Frost are half-brothers (Moth Wing, too). 8. Midnight the badger is actually a spirit, like Fallen Leaves. 9. The rumour that Smudge was Cloud Tail’s dad was fake. 10. Dawn of the Clans is set in the 1940s.
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A Galaxy of Face Palms Chicken
By Anthony, age 9
Once upon a time there was someone named Chicken.
He went to the living room but something was wrong.
He is awake The window is broken. He saw a hotdog and ran.
Flashlight
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He fell. RIP.
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Waiting for the Bus By Kimi, age 7
Once upon a time Junior was waiting for a bus. Junior was drinking a root beer. He was standing on the sidewalk, and then it started raining and Junior got soaked. Fifteen days later the bus was still not there. Then a taxi came and Junior asked the taximan if he could get in. But the taxi drove past him very fast. Junior took one step closer to the road and was still waiting for the bus.
The Amazon Thing By Jeff, age 11
One day a guy wanted a hamburger but he was really lazy so he typed in “Amazon” and found a hamburger person. The person said, “I will come to your house… with a hammer (auto correct) hamburger!” Ding dong. “Yes, it’s here!” “I need to get up. Never mind, I am too lazy.” Pow. The door opens. “Hello, I am hammer (auto correct). Sorry for the door and for auto correct, I was saying hello, I am hamburger person.” “Where’s my hamburger, you banana.” Dun dun dunnn... “Yes, how did you know I’m a banana man?” “’Cause you look like a banana.”
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Taco Bell :p By J.H., age 12
Storyteller: Hmmm, what should I eat? Brain: Taco Bell. Storyteller: No. Brain: Taco Bell. Storyteller: I said no. Brain: Taco Bell. Storyteller: NO. Brain: TACO BELL AAAAA... (has a mild seizure) Storyteller: I SAID NO AAAA... (also has a mild seizure) 6 hours later Cashier: OK, the total is $10.91. Storyteller: OK. (pays) 20 minutes later Storyteller: Ohhh, Taco Bell. (eats) (finishes) 1 hour later Storyteller: (busts bathroom door) Toilet: (sees storyteller) AHHH HERE WE GO AGAIN FOR THE 6,912,446th TIME.
Toilet Named Stinky By Alan, age 8
One day there was a toilet named Stinky. And he was stinky. And he could fly. And he started to fly. And then he crashed. And it became more stinky.
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Toilet Paper By Yammie, age 12
One day Allen wanted to go to the washroom. Then he saw a book and said, “Oh, I found a book. Oh, but I want to go to the washroom. OK, I will use the book to be my toilet paper.” Then he ran to the washroom. 30 minutes later Allen said, “Oh, the last poop was so good. Oh yeah, I just took a book, let me read it. The book’s name is Do Not Eat...That name was so... IT WAS SO GOOD! OMG, who wrote this book? This guy is so awesome. OK, let me read the book.” 10 minutes later Allen said, “Oh, this book can teach me to make poop cake. OK, let’s go buy something.” Then Allen went home and said, “Let’s make it!” Then he read the book. He said, “What the... Why does the book not have page 52?” Do you guys know where page 52 is?
Torture Every Day By Veeco, age 12
As the sun starts to bloom, we are all stuck in school. The bell rings, and yet another day is waiting. All the sadness, happiness and trauma is almost over. Kindergarten to Grade 12 will fly by slowly. Your future is wishing upon you, waiting, and creeping down your thoughts. Day by day, the time ticks quicker and one day it’s all over.
The Blanking Page By Finn, age 9
I am looking at a blanking page, so make a grown-up read this: I look like a monkey and I live in a zoo and I smell like poo.
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Memes By S.M., age 12
Thanos comes in with Big Chungus, who now has the Infinity Gauntlet. Ultra Instinct Shaggy appears out of nowhere using Perfect Transmission, and uses 0.0000000000005% of his power to defeat Thanos. Sans Undertale plays Crab Rave mixed with Megalovania in the corner. Total gibberish, right? Well, it’s dank memes. Here are some more dank memes: Meme Man comes out of nowhere—“SUCC,” then poof. On planet Namek (I know it’s destroyed, but still), Goku is eating ramen while Beerus is in the corner eating Doritos with Mountain Dew. A person walks up to Beerus and says, “I don’t care that you broke your elbow.” (I know, that’s a Vine, not a meme.) Pikachu dabs, Sonic is with Ugandan Knuckles with “Do You Know Da Wae” playing in the background. Illusion 100, none of it was real. Actually it is, that’s how mafia works—air horn plays with default skin from Fortnite doing the Default Dance. A character from Apex gets the Fortnite character, and “oof” was then heard from a Roblox noob. Randomly, “Old Time Road” plays. —Brought to you by Minecraft Meme Man— Stuff used: Thanos, Big Chungus, Shaggy, Undertale, Crab Rave, Meme Man, SUCC meme, DB Super, MCG Doritos and Mountain Dew, “I don’t care that you broke your elbow” Vine, Pokémon, Sonic, Do You Know Da Wae, Skyrim (Illusion 100), that’s how mafia works, air horn, Fortnite, Apex Legends, Roblox, Old Time Road, and Minecraft Meme Man (which is me). ILLUSION 100 Get Rekt
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The Bunny Pig By Mary, age 10
Once there was a bunny.
And animals saw that bunny.
And the animals said, “Excuse me, Bunny,” but the bunny didn’t answer.
So they tapped on the bunny, and the bunny said, “What?” and turned around. And it was a pig.
Jeff and Banana Man By Tommy, age 9
Banana Man hugs people. Banana gets money. Banana’s boss pays him. Banana man finds a person named Jeff. Banana Man hugs Jeff. Jeff gets mad and hugs Banana Man, and Banana Man passes out. Jeff is still mad, until he finds $900,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000. Jeff is happy until he realizes he can’t carry the money.
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Otherworldy Adventures The Tornado By Jackson, age 9
One day there were three kids: Jack, Justice and Alan. They were playing soccer when an F5 tornado suddenly came. They ran as fast as they could but the F5 caught them. Alan felt sick, and so did Jack and Justice. Jack, Justice and Alan fell out of the tornado. Jack was knocked out. They hit a rocket jet and all of the space gear came out of it. They grabbed the space suits and put them on. They were already in space when a space shark came and charged at them. They dodged the first, but luckily there was a water pistol floating around. Jack saw the water pistol first. He swam over to it and picked it up and sprayed the space shark. It disappeared. They swam back to Earth and they all broke the sound barrier. They got caught by the F5 again, but then the F5 became a F4 then an F3 then an F2 then an F1 then a sand storm. Then they landed on the ground.
Cat Kingdom By A.L., age 9
There was a cat king, named Sir Kittens, and a cat queen, named Mittens.They ruled together in the Cat Kingdom, but the dogs of the Dog Kingdom wanted to invade. The Cat Kingdom fought back, and with the help of the Rabbit King the cats won the war. Soon the Cat King, Sir Kittens and the Rabbit King, named Bun Buns, started a friendship. But the Dog Kingdom came back... Soon the dogs wanted to invade again. They wanted the Cat Kingdom for themselves. So the war began again. And the dogs lost every time! The dogs gave up and the cats created technology to build video games, schools, computers, phones, etc... And the Cat Kingdom was happy again!
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Thanos and Black Panther Thanos comes Thanos is in Wakanda Where Black Panther lives People are disappearing Into sand Thanos comes And comes And snap His hand They vanish Into sand Thanos turns Into sand Too
By Kiasa, age 7
The Spider Man By Avene, age 9
Two kids named Annabelle and Chucky went into an abandoned forest‌ They saw a mystery man with spider webs that would catch up to them! They started running, but the mystery man got them. They got webs on them, so that when they stopped running they got trapped in a web cage with the other kids. To be continued‌
War Times By Matthias, age 8
In Japan, there were two explosions. One hundred rested in peace. Some Japanese armies went to jail. Some Chinese armies were helping Japan. Some U.S. armies worked with Russia. Japan attacked Pearl Harbour in Hawaii. Japan defeated the U.S.A.
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Jackson By S.S.T.Y, age 10
In the year 1881 a baby boy was born, but he was born with a special gift. This is the story of that boy’s life. Once there was a boy whose name was Jackson. He was born on Monday, April 30, 1881, at 6 p.m. When he was born, the nurses took him away to see if the baby was healthy, but they didn’t get the results they expected. When they found out, they told the parents, “There is something extremely strange about this baby boy.” “Jackson, his name is Jackson,” the mother said. “Ahh yes, well sorry about that, but the strange thing about your son is the fact that…he’s dying!” said the nurse. “I’m sorry, maybe I misheard you. He’s what now?” said the father with a grin. “He’s fading fast, so if you would excuse me, I need to go help the other doctors,” said the nurse. “Well we wouldn’t want to keep you from your work,” said the father, whilst he was thinking, “Poisoning that child was the best choice of my life.” But little did he know that Jackson could read minds. As he was clinging to life, he somehow survived and told the doctors and nurses that his so-called father was out to destroy him. To be continued…
Arceus Goes Nowhere By Benny S., age 6
Once upon a time, far away, in the Pokémon world, there was Pikachu and there was Arceus. Pikachu thought that he was the strongest in all the world, but Arceus thought the same thing. There was only one way to find out. A BATTLE! Pikachu was sent into the portal and Arceus went nowhere. But he was the strongest after all.
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The Little Haunted Lisa By Lulu, age 8
One day, Lisa moved into a house. It was haunted. A ghost was haunting people in the world. Lisa’s door was left open and the ghost came into her house. It had come from the Writers’ Exchange. The ghost scared Lisa by saying, “Boo!” She called the police and they told her to move. Lisa said, “Okay.” She moved to California, met all of her friends and just played.
Spider-Man vs. Venom By Jayden, age 8
Once upon a time Spider-Man and Venom were fighting, but they were fighting in a boxing ring. They were slinging webs and dodging each other. Spider-Man got hit, but just before the referee could say “three,” Spider-Man got up. Then Venom went down but that was the first round. It was the second round. They were dodging and swinging, but Spider-Man went down. One, two, three... Spider-Man lost the second round. Now it was the third round. But how was he going to win this round? Then Venom got on top of Spider-Man and tried to make him get weak. But Spider-Man was not weak, and Venom did not know why it didn’t work. Venom got back on Eddie Brock, but then Spider-Man hit Venom with a web so hard that Venom got off Eddie. Then Venom caught Spider-Man’s web and threw Spider-Man right on the ground. Spider-Man got badly hurt, but he got back up. But then Venom got Spider-Man again and Spiderman went down again. “It is a tie,” said the referee.
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The Poor Man By Farley, age 10
Once a man was on a street, but he only had one cent. Then another man came up and gave him a twenty-dollar bill. Then the poor man said, “Hey you’re nice. Come with me.” The poor man was wearing ripped clothes. He said to the other man, “Hey give me more money.” Then the other man found a box with $1,000,000,000. He realized he was rich! Then he found a portal then went in it and… The End Just kidding—he went to a world that’s different... so different. Opposite World was burning everywhere. To be continued...
Waldo’s Skateboard Adventure By Mitchell, age 8
Where is Waldo?
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Infinite Epics & Continuing Stories Light vs. Shock: Part 2 By Kevin C., age 11
A long time ago Light and Shadow fought, and Shadow lost. But then Shock escaped because he was in the portal. Shock was in a dark cave and he found something. He found armour. He wore it and turned strong. He was powerful. Shock returned to the city. He met someone named Darkness. Light saw him and said, “Shock, you returned.” Shock had a lightning ball and hit Light with it. Light’s power was gone! Light went into a cave, where he found a giant crystal. He ate it and turned strong! He went back to the city and he found Shock. They met and they fought. Shock lost. Shock was defeated. Darkness came and ran away into a portal. To be continued... Will Light defeat Darkness?
Jeff and Other People By Gavin, age 10
Jeff is a guy. He is a smart guy. He likes pizza. He likes cheese pizza. He also has a friend named Bob. Bob is happy also sad at the same time. Bob’s friend is his dog. His dog is named Jeff 2. They were all waiting for something, something epic, something that no one would know…
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Thor and the Beets, Part 2 By Wyatt, age 12
You’re so purple, you make Barney look blue
Should we surrender now?
Thor: I am God. Beets: No, you’re not. Thor: Let’s take this to the battleground. Beets: Fine. 5 minutes later… at the battleground Random announcer: 3... 2... 1... Fight! (Thor flies through the air and lightning bolts fly out at him.) Beets: …he actually really is a god?! Thor: You shouldn’t have doubted me. Beets: Should we surrender now? Thor: You’re so purple, you make Barney look blue. A giant lightning bolt flies at the beets and turns them into a roasted beet salad. Thor eats them.
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Chaos Escapes By Hollis, age 9
If you haven’t read “The Evil Magician” in the book Do Not Eat, then don’t read this one… yet. When I opened the door, my brother’s army was there. I used another portal to get away, and met my friend Curse. He said hi. Just then, ten of my brother’s soldiers came. Curse and I fought off my brother’s army. They struck back. (Oh, by that I meant fought back. Now back to the story...) They shot a big ball of fire at us. It hit me, and I was knocked back ten metres. Curse hit them back and they fell on the ground, and then I (Chaos) destroyed them. But I was very injured. We went to Curse’s house and sat down. To be continued in the next book...
Crash No. 2 By Philip, age 10
Recap: Little fell in a hole after he crushed the bananas with faces. He is now unconscious. Narrator: Little was unconscious for a long time (I’d appreciate it if you turned on some creepy music in your head). He woke up and looked up. There was a hole. The one he fell from. He slowly got up, and started walking in a slow pace. Little: What is going on...? Narrator: ...said Little under his breath. Then, from the corner of his eye, he caught a shadow. Little: Big? To be continued...
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Fortnite, Part 3 By Jack, age 10
Hello, everyone, it is me, the creator of FORTNITE the Story, aka Jack. I’m back with a part 3, but first, before I tell you that story, I will give you a not-so-short recap. Wait, hold the applause until after the story. OK, where was I... Oh yeah, here is that recap: I was talking about where we last left our heroes. They just got back from the Fortnite dimension and one of the guys had left his mansion keys in there. And they all saw they were in the future. And that was the recap, everybody. Hey! Didn’t I say hold the applause?! Well anyway, let’s get back to the story... OK, OK, so one of the guys (let’s call him Steve) gets a hover bike and a hover car (the hover car is for all of them). So Steve called the rest of them up and picked them up, and they all went to the mall. 100 minutes later “Oh nice, I wonder what bubble tea is like in the future... Well, I guess we can see now, since we finally got to bubble time. Holy... there’s 999,999,999,999,999 flavours! Oh, I’m gonna get mint cotton candy chocolate,” said Steve. “I’m gonna have cheddar cheese malt vinegar.” “Oh, I’m gonna have diseased blood with poo and blood boogers.” “So I will have black hole essence with dying star nuclear waste in it.” “I’m gonna have a classic dead people with death in it, because I’m immune to death.” “And I’m gonna have creepypasta flavour.” “Oh... It is $100,000,000,000,000 together. Well, let’s go to the Hovermall Techtown.” One eternity later “Yay we’re here. Oh cool, it’s DanTDM. Look over there, it’s Pewdiepie.
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Give Me Space! Oh nice, it’s Mr. Beast... oh... it’s Marshmello! Oh my god, it’s Tom Holland.” “Hey guys, come over here and take a pic and let’s meet each other. 12 hours later “Well, that was awesome, and we’re finally home. Hey, I wonder if Sophia is in this timeli—” “HEY GUYS, I JUST BOUGHT A MANSION ON THE MOON! AND A SHIP FOR US TO GO TO THE MOON!” “Let’s go tomorrow, I’m tired. Uh, I feel like I could sleep for eons.” “OK, we’ll go tomorrow. “Ya-zzzzzzzzz.” *in whisper voice* “Good night, Steve.” The next day “WAKE UP, WAKE UP, it’s time to go to the mansion on the moon. Hey, let’s bring Mr. Beast.” On the moon “Wow, I could do back flips for days with gravity like this. Well, where is the mansion? It should be right here... Whoa, it’s huge. Look, it even has its own subway.” “Aah, it looks awesome.” In the future “I wonder where Steve and the others are. I hope they aren’t on Earth... they might get in the way of my plan to destroy the entirety of the future with ten quantillion black holes,” said Sophia... Hey guys how did you like the story? Watch out for Part 4 dun dun duhhn! Also, a shoutout to DanTDM, Mr. Beast, Tom Holland, Marshmello and Sophia. Oh yeah... I typed 64 pages to make this story and this is the end... for now. The theme of the next story is a hero movie kinda theme.
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Lemmy: The Prequel By Thor, age 12
Once upon a time... No wait, that’s too cliché... A long time ago... wait that’s copyrighted. All right: a while back there was a farmer. This farmer was no ordinary farmer—he was a wizard! He planted pumpkins, and since pumpkins weren’t popular he filled them with magic. One day he was attacked by a rival wizard and turned into a skeleton. He lost all his memory when the blast hit. One of his pumpkins crawled toward him. And took its dark time doing so! This new skeleton pumpkin awoke almost 200 years later. It was the year 1992. The new hybrid walked the streets of Vancouver, Canada. He found clothes in a strange place called Old Navy. Walking down the street, he slowly learned new English from the nearby citizens. One day he walked by a beach and saw something. Lemmy: “What’s that giant T-shaped planet in the sky? Person: “That’s planet Thor, bro. It’s filled to the brim with beets” Lemmy: “Oh.” He continued walking down the street until he got hungry. “Man, I sure am hungry,” he said. Conveniently to the plot, a restaurant magically appeared out of nowhere. “Oh, I’ll eat there,” Lemmy said. “Greasy Fingers. That sounds like cannibalism.” Entering the restaurant, Lemmy noticed the place was in terrible condition. The spiders on the walls were blacker than Lemmy’s eyes, and the people eating there looked disgusted. After Lemmy ordered, he had to wait almost an hour, and when it finally came, he immediately threw it away. Walking out, he made a remark: “What kind of restaurant has uncooked tapeworm burgers?” Then he noticed a giant cannon on the beach, aimed directly at Stanley Park. He stupidly thought: “Gee, that cannon looks so nice and peaceful, it would be a shame if... someone... jumped in it.”
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Give Me Space! Hopping in, he felt gunpowder erupt from under him. During his ten-second journey to Stanley Park, Lemmy looked at his hands and saw energy flowing from them. Then, there was a hard hit against a tree. When he got up and looked around, he saw a deep forest surrounding him. He started walking. He knew it was his destiny to make four to five more stories that would be in Writers’ Exchange books. Then, suddenly, he saw him...
Conspiracy Theories, Continued By Steph S., age 13
It was a bright sunny day when Ronald McDonald tripped on a piece of rock. The rock looked too fake, so he flipped it over and saw a scratched-out letter from Dora. It read: “Hi, this is Dora. Please help me—I’m currently stranded on Pluto. If this teleportation was successful, please send a rocket so I can leave this place. Also, is Pluto still a planet? By the way, there’s a 50,000 box Froot Loops reward.” Ronald quickly called the International Froot Loops Rockets Nearly as Intelligent Space Program. “Hi, this is the International Froot Loops Rockets Nearly as Intelligent Space Program. I am Diego. How may I help you?” “I FOUND DORA ON THE PLANET CALLED PLUTO,” he screamed. “OH, THAT IS GREAT, NOW WE CAN ALSO BE ONE OF THE MANY REHASH REBOOTS THEY ARE CURRENTLY MAKING. Also isn’t Pluto a dwarf planet?!” Diego screamed back. “SEND MEH THE FROOT LOOPS.”
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BTS Jeet By Benny D., age 11, and Tony L., age 10
T: Wha? B: ? T: WOW, a question mark as your first word… B: WOW, your first word isn’t a word. T: So after that disastrous last BTS, we felt too stupid to make the same one! B: The Illuminati series is not done… B: Yet. T: WHAT YOU SAY? T: Oh, I get it... T: No end to Bloody Donut; ain’t that bloody? B: J did not make the 4th one. T: 4 times the sadness… B: It took you what feels like one hour to reply. T: This is what it feels to chew 5 gum. B: Bruh. T: … T: The reason why I have Jeff BTS with B is that there were no sponsors… B: LOL T: Is dead. B: So. T: To be continued… B: YOU LIAR!!!!
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Give Me Space! T: YoU bEen GNomED! B: You mean— T: Human being… B: GNOOOOMMED T: We’re going on a trip to a place called copyright—let’s get prosecuted— B: You scereal? T: w/ m goat milk… B: ???? T: WHERE’S THE LAMB SAUCE!? B: You need a chill pill. T: The one below zero? B: … T: I can do better than that. T: …. B: ARE YOU SCEREAL. T: Yes. T: 3, 2, 1... T: ….......….......….......….......….. T: And this is how it feels to chew 6 gum B: ? B: ?? B: ???? T: ???? What the question mark? B: STOP. T: Get some help first.
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Give Me Space! T: G(NO)MED B: ): T: (: B: ):< T: XD B: <3 T: (insert my face) B: Stop plz. T: What’s the magic word? B: YOU BEEN GNOOOOMED. T: No, is Xx Yy 175 Ny NyyyTa ya yabba god B: R.I.P. editors. T: Don’t demonetize us! B: For what? T: MOONEYYZ B: Ok….......….......….......….......….......... T: YOU BEAT ME! B: ….......….......….......….......…..... T: :D B: … T: 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 000000000000000000 B: 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000 B: Now let’s stop
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Give Me Space! T: Okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. B: STOP!!!!!!!!!! T: I sent it from my opera. B: ? T: The editors would have their brains only filled with ks. T: In that k, T: that’s 301 ks! T: No that’s 302 ks! T: I could get a world record for this! T: That’s 303 ks! B: The End T: SAY THAT BAD K AGAIN? B: No, just no. T: Yes, just yes. T: Here’s your sudoku! T: What’s 1 + 1 x 1089 x retirement x ur ex x times table x 300 ks equal this story? B: No. T: CORRECT. B: The end, for cereal’s sake!
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Jeef By Tony, age 10
Jeef: Broccoli Producer: What the [forbidden word]! Jeef: SHUT IT! Jeef: Or GET THE [forbidden word] OUT! Producer: Yes. Pap– Banned for 3 days Reason: Yes. Robleep has detected a yes and you got rekt by our trolling moderators—and 2 days of crying 4 U. P.S.: hahahahaha Robleep phone numba: That’s the wrong numba! If you wish to appeal, wait for 2 days. Jeef: Hah! GoTY!! JEEF BY TONY SERIES PREMIERE
Jeef: ... Director (Tony): Cut! Jeef: Did you cut my... [Wait for it...] ...BROCCOLI!! Jeef: Activate super tantrummmmmm! Director: What the– Jeef: WHAH! WHY U CUT MAH BROCCOLI!
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Give Me Space! Director: God: Jeef: What the [forbidden word] is with this studio! Director: Better end this... Director: By ... going to Europe, where memes are banned! hahahahaha Director: Google, what is Europe? Google: A sad place where memes are not allowed. (Due to Article 13.) Director: GREAT! Director: Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s get packing! Director: Wait... almost forgot... Director: ...my profits from the Illuminati Series! Director: Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s drink tea for now... Meanwhile Jeef: [forbidden word] Jeef: Where is mah spaghet [pay] Back to where we were Director: Ahh, we are in London, U.K. Director: Google, what is London, U.K. Google: London, located in U... King... is a ... .... ..... Director: JUST [forbidden word] RESPOND Google: Ditch somehow... Google: We have no [bleeping] connection!
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Give Me Space! Director: Oh.
Director: A total... Director: [forbidden word] Meanwhile Alexa: Opening garage door... Alexa: Closing garage door... Alexa: Opening garage door... Jeef: It’s fun to play with smart devices. (Kids, don’t try this at home.) Jeef: Close garage door. Alexa: Closing garage door... Jeef: This is so entertaining that I could stay here for days and days! 5 days later (don’t get started with logic) Alexa: Stop. Just... STOOOOOOOP! Jeef: [forbidden word] Jeef: That’s is just...
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Give Me Space! Jeef: OOOH! Jeef: Buttons!
Jeef: Click click click click click click click *error* Jeef: Guten morgen* end of the world!
[* Good morning]
Why did I create this? The End! (For now)
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Autographs
A Big Thanks to Our Mentors! These 47 amazing volunteer mentors helped the kids write and create during our 2019 winter and spring programs at the Writersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Exchange. Ayumi, Brenna, Carla, Charlotte, Christina, Daphnee, Dayna, Devon, Diana, Dom, Eli, Helen, Jacqueline, Jamie, Jane, Jocelyn, Kandice, Karen L., Karen W., Kathryn, Krys, Maren, Markenzie, Mary, Matt L., Matt P., Megan, Melissa, Michelle, Mohini, Natalie, Nhea, Patty, Peter, Rebecca, Roshini, Sabrina, Sami, Sara, Sarah, Saya, Soph, Stacey, Sydney, Tara, Tiffany and Yuliya