Copyright © 2017 The Writers’ Exchange This book is a collection of the kids’ favourite writing and art that they created during the fall 2017 after-school programs at the Writers’ Exchange. The Writers’ Exchange gets inner-city kids excited about reading and writing through mentoring and creative writing projects like this chapbook. All Writers’ Exchange programs are free for the children and families we serve, so we could not exist without the support of amazing donors, including Marily Mearns, Social Venture Partners Vancouver, Linda Louis, the Waterbury Foundation, Bernard MacLeod, the City of Vancouver, Megan Abbott, the Grayross Foundation held at the Vancouver Foundation, Richard and Suzanne Cole, Nancy and Ted Maitland, BPS Wealth Management at CIBC Wood Gundy, John and Nina Cassils, Judy Gale, Lynn and Gene Gerwing, the Sasamat Foundation, Pep and Bev Lough, the Edith Lando Charitable Foundation, Mark Tindle and Leslie Cliff and the Wolrige Foundation. Thank you.
881 East Hastings Vancouver, BC V6A 1R8 vancouverWE.com
This book was created on the traditional unceded territory of the Musqueam, Squamish and Tsleil-Waututh peoples. Design and layout: Trevor Boytinck, ottoandfran.com Cover art: vecteezy.com Production coordination and editing: Melissa Edwards Program coordinator: Taylor Richardson These kind organizations support after-school programs at the Writers’ Exchange:
Printing for this chapbook was generously donated by Hemlock.
TWISTS AND TURNS
The Story I’ll Never Write by Piper Disgrace: Perfectly Tarnished by Jennifer L. The Failed Story by Lisa The Whale Went to a Party by Terence It’s a Nice Dragon by Sylvia Girlfriend Boyfriend by Allen Cutiepiejojo by Joanna A Moana Surprise by Esme Guyanster by P.H. Jeremy’s T.V. by Thor
3 4 5 5 6 6 7 7 8 10
HOW TOs AND GOOD ADVICE
How to Draw: Draw with Your Heart by Tina Jenny’s Potion by Jenny T. How to Be a YouTuber by Shijee Plans for New Year’s Eve by Keona How to Decorate a Cupcake by Elizabeth Playland by Jayden
11 12 13 13 14 15
CATS AND DOGS AND PENGUINS AND EVEN ICE CREAM
The Cat by K.C. Ice Cream by Aisa Ice Cream Penguins by Waddling Penguin My Name Is Jeff by Kyle Twin Sisters by Anh Thu Meow, Part 1 by Joey The Hurt Dog by Selena
16 17 18 18 19 20 20
REAL DAYS / CRAZY DAYS
Trouble in the Witch Mall by Doris The Great Soccer Game by Ewen The Life of a Reincarnation Coin by J.H. Mountain Lion by Anson The Baby by Jasmine The Soccer Game by Francis Red Team vs. Blue Team by Wyatt Taste Buds by Peaches Conspiracy Theory by Stephanie S.
21 21 22 22 23 23 24 25 25
ONE OF A KINDS
FUNNIES AND FUNNIER
Manaphy by Stephanie M. Funny Animals by Alexander The Wait by Jackson The Funny Story of the Kitten by Mary Bananit by Jeff The Failure movie by Beatrice
26 26 26 27 28 28
TALES OF THE BRAVE
The Bad Bully by Farley Jeff by Sam C. Jeff the Chef by Aiden Battle of Minecraft Mobs by Yuki Heroes and the Dragon by Frank The Bear by Anthony and Gavin The Illuminati Series: The Start by Tony L.
29 30 32 34 34 35 36
WARNING: SCARY STORIES!
Zombies Are Fighting vs. Batman! by Michael Zombie House by Kayla A Fairytale About Rosey and Jess by Kaylee The Battle of Stalingrad by T.J. A Really Scary Story by Sam D. The Mobs by Eric The Mystery by Noah The Mummy by M.C. Vampires Return by Sharen Halloween Ghosts Haunt Christmas! by Steven Reflection by T.F. The Demon by Jack
39 39 40 41 42 43 44 44 45 45 46 47
ONE-OF-A-KIND FRIENDSHIPS
The Cupcake by Matalin Diary of Camp by Amira Super Girl by Reina Lonelies Interact: Fails by Anonymous The Sisters by Memorie Greetings by Legend Sister Location Minecraft by Kevin
48 49 49 50 52 55 55
The Story I’ll Never Write By Piper, age 12 There are things I wouldn’t write about in Writers’ Exchange books. Like magicians, because there are no stories about them. Also, I wouldn’t write about shipwrecks, because it’s not a good topic. So here’s the story of a terrible magician. He was doing a show for 50 people because he was a bad magician and did the most basic tricks: he pulled out flowers, he stuffed a rabbit under his hat. He tried to act surprised, but he was also a terrible actor. So when he tried to do a real magic trick, he teleported to the Titanic. Then he teleported to a ship in the Bermuda Triangle and tried to teleport back, but it didn’t work. He brainstormed and thought, “What if I just jump into the water? Then I’ll be out of the Bermuda Triangle!” So he jumped in, and it didn’t work! Then he tried to get back on the ship and do magic tricks, and it worked. All 50 people told all of their friends, so he got 5,000 people in a room. He attempted to do the trick again but it didn’t work. So everyone said he was a bad magician and no one would let him book a place. But what really happened was that a real magician came backstage and teleported him away and back.
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ONE OF A KINDS
Disgrace: Perfectly Tarnished By Jennifer L., age 11 He walked down the stairs in the ballroom. Each step was taken with grace and poise. He flashed the bashful maids and frantic butlers an award-winning smile. He was . . . Perfect. He spoke in a polite yet commanding tone, compelling others to agree. He gave orders and helped out with the nation. The kingdom had vast riches and wealth, and held the slight air of aristocrats. Compared to others, he was . . . Perfect. Kissing the hand of a princess, he spoke with his same charming smile before bowing and saying, “It is a pleasure to meet you.” He looked through the corner of his eyes. His parents nodded in approval. All were thinking the same thing: he was . . . Perfect. His eyes widened as the ruthless killer did a reckless slash before slamming his father, the king, into the wall. As the killer ended the prince’s mother, he sniggered before walking slowly toward the prince. The killer held the sword right above the prince’s head, gave a big cocky smirk and said, “Your last words?” The prince started to swallow his breath as he spat at the killer. The killer was taken aback, but only for a moment, then he growled and started to bring down the sword. The prince rolled away. He stood up before kicking the killer. The killer had dropped the sword, flinging it into the air. The prince desperately made a grab for the sword, missing it. “No . . .” he said. A lump started to form in his throat. His family. His reputation. His home. His innocence. If he ever somehow survived, he would have a serious vendetta. Everything he knew . . . Was Perfectly Tarnished.
4
TWISTS AND TURNS
The Failed Story By Lisa, age 10
“Once upon a—” Cut. Cut. This story has dumb people, directors and actors so their test is here . . . Anyways, give it a go. “No.” Why. “Do you think this story is good?” Well . . . “NO.” Ok.
The Whale Went to a Party By Terence, age 6 The whale was trying to eat a fish. He fell. Then he ran out of time for the party. But it seemed like he had one more minute. Then he arrived at the party. Then he had fun.
5
ONE OF A KINDS
It’s a Nice Dragon By Sylvia, age 6 One night, a dragon wearing a green coat and a polka-dot backpack came to Writers’ Exchange when no one was there. The dragon wrote a book and rode a bike back home. He ate a dinner of fish, then brushed his teeth and went to bed.
Girlfriend Boyfriend By Allen, age 9 Once upon a time there was Flash the girl pigeon and Piggy the boy pigeon. They lived with each other. They were always yelling at each other. One day Flash had enough and said, “Stop pooping on me!” Then R2D2 and the wolf said, “Why are you so loud today?” Flash said, “He keeps pooping on me too much.” She left the house and Piggy said, “Where are you going?” She said, “I don’t care where I am going. At least I’m not with you.” Piggy cried so long that he didn’t know he was hungry. One month later R2D2 said to Piggy, “Stop crying or you will die.” But he kept crying. “We have to make him have fun so he does not have to cry,” said R2D2. They took him to a store to make him happy and R2D2 bought a lot of toys and spent $1,000,000,000,000,000. It made Piggy feel a little better, but he was never going to stop crying. Then somehow Flash ran into Piggy and Piggy said, “I am sorry. I was shy, so when I was shy I pooped on somebody. So are you ok with that?” Flash said, “Yes, but do not poop on me.” And then they got married.
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TWISTS AND TURNS
Cutiepiejojo By Joanna, age 10 One day Jojo woke up at 7 o’clock. She got ready to go to a party. A few minutes later Jojo went to the party to see the prince, because Jojo was a princess. She was 16 and she was cute, beautiful and generous. The prince was 16, too, and the prince’s name was Matthew. Jojo loved Matthew soooooooo much that she couldn’t believe it. Matthew wanted to dance. There were two girls that liked Matthew, too. They asked if they could dance with him. Matthew said no, so the girls were mad at him. Jojo came to Matthew and Mathew said, “Jooojooo, is it you?” Jojo said, “Yes.” Matthew wanted Jojo to dance so they danced and danced until 1 o’clock. Then the two girls came and said, “Do you remember that you are going to be married to someone?” Matthew said, “Yes, I do,” so all the girls that were at the party waited and waited. Then Matthew said he wanted to marry Jojo.
A Moana Surprise By Esme, age 6 Moana liked the ocean. She liked to eat coconuts. One day a lava monster came and took all the food. Moana searched the ocean and saw the lava monster. She got to the other side. Just kidding, it’s just all about me. I like Dedenne and Pikachu.
7
ONE OF A KINDS
Guyanster By P.H. age 9
21 years ago . . .
That’s the 11th time you did that. You’re suspended!!
That was CLOSE!
HA-HA-HA!
Owww! wob ble
Wait, 0oops!
Dang it! PRINCIPAL
PRINCIPAL
Aw, man!
8
TWISTS AND TURNS
21 years later . . .
Weeks after the bored feelings
That’s why I’m like this!
I’M BACK, BUBS!
One hour later . . .
One day . . .
In a lab . . .
How am I still alive?!!? I’m on MARS!!!
To be continued . . .
An ALIEN!
Cool! A robot! SNA
P
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ONE OF A KINDS
Jeremy’s T.V. By Thor, age 11 Hello, my name is Jeremy. I will tell you a story about yesterday, when I was watching T.V. I got home after work and I decided to watch T.V. I lay down on my beanbag chair, and turned it on. Channel 6! “I’m Lemmy and I’m gonna teach you how to make pancakes. All you need is water, bleach, paper, oranges and 24-karat gold. Mix it all in one bowl and put it on your stove at max temperature. *Ding* I think they’re ready. *explosion!* That was lame anyway.” I switched to channel 7. “And that, my friends, is why Fidelity Investments is the Illuminati.” The show finished, so I switched to channel 15, then channel 7 once again: “How to make obscure Star Wars references.” Suddenly, I heard a knock at the door. I opened it and to my surprise there was Lemmy, the conspiracy guy, and Mr. Reference. We drank teaclubsoda (a mixture of tea and club soda) and then they left. Same Lemmy time, same Lemmy channel.
10
How to Draw: Draw with Your Heart By Tina, age 9
You are finished
You are finished
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ONE OF A KINDS
Jenny’s Potion By Jenny T., age 10
Ingredients: 1 tsp. of Einsteinium 1 cup of popping candy 2 cups of water “Have fun with blowing things up!” WARNING! DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!
12
HOW TOs AND GOOD ADVICE
How to Be a YouTuber By Shijee, age 10 Warning: Take this as a risk. It is not my problem if problems happen. 1. Beg anyone for a Gmail account (but not random people). 2. Choose your YouTube name. 3. Go to YouTube.com. 4. If you are making a new account, it will ask you for info. Then you’ll see your account. Now you’re done. To make an intro video, go to Panzoid.com.
Plans for New Year’s Eve By Keona, age 12 Drink coffee Hang out with friends Light fireworks Watch a “year-long” movie Watch the countdown Blast a random song Have an awesome party Spend all my money at One Stop Shop Bang pots and pans Calm down and read
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ONE OF A KINDS
How to Decorate a Cupcake By Elizabeth, age 11 STEP1: ICING THE CUPCAKE First, wash your hands so they are not dirty and the kids don’t get sick when they eat the cupcake. Next, add one drop of icing at a time to the bowl. Put in one drop of food colouring—not too much, but a little drop, like two or three drops. Then mix thoroughly and make it smooth. In fact, mix it very well so there is no white showing in the icing. Next, spread the icing with a butter knife until the cupcake is covered. Don’t spread it too much or the cupcake will break. Turn the cupcake as you ice while gently spreading and swirling. Turn the cupcake slowly and gently, because if you turn it too fast it might break on you. STEP 2: OREO CRUMBLE First, gently twist the Oreo cookie apart. Don’t break it, but if you do that’s ok because then you’ll have three more cookies. Scrape the icing off the cookie with a knife (don’t cut yourself). Get the icing off the cookie, but don’t eat it. Next, score the sides of the cookie edges to form a tombstone shape. If it’s broken you can use it for the crumble. Following that, carefully shape the edges. If you break it, you can use it for your crumble, but you will only have two cookies left. Afterward, gather all the cookies without the icing and place them in a Ziploc bag. Smash the Oreo cookies in the bag, but do it carefully because it might pop. Take the sealed Ziploc bag (without air) and crush the Oreo with a spoon. Do not smash it too hard or the bag will pop and explode. Sprinkle the crumble
14
HOW TOS AND GOOD ADVICE
on the cupcake and on the icing. Do not sprinkle too much or it will not taste good—it will taste like too much sugar. Next, put the rest of the icing in the Ziploc bag and cut a tiny piece of the corner off to pipe words onto the Oreo cookie. STEP 3: FINISHING THE CUPCAKE To begin, place melted chocolate in a Ziploc bag and push it to the end (not too much toward the end of the bag or it will fall out). Afterward, snip a small corner of the bag. Be careful not to cut yourself or anyone else or your finger. Next, pipe a tree design onto wax paper and put in the freezer (not for too long, like five minutes in the freezer). When it’s completely frozen and hard, carefully peel off the tree and insert it into the cupcake. Add more icing in the hole where the tree is so the tree does not fall out of the cupcake. After, choose as many candies as you like (but not too many, maybe like nine pieces of candy). Do not pick too many candies or it might have a disgusting taste.
Playland By Jayden, age 7 I went to Playland three times. I rode on the swings and the roller coaster and went in the haunted house. I picked the swings because they go high. The cotton candy was very good. When I went to Playland again it was very fun, but it was different. I only got to go on rides because I was with my mom. You can go too if you want to.
15
The Cat By K.C., age 6 CHAPTER 1 The cat saw somebody and fell down the toilet. Then the cat flushed the toilet and flushed the human. Now the human was in the toilet! CHAPTER 2 The next day, the cat went to the toilet and the cat met the human. The human got an idea. CHAPTER 3 The human’s idea was a mean idea. CHAPTER 4 The cat saw the human. CHAPTER 5 The cat went to the toilet. The cat fell in the toilet. CHAPTER 6 The human flushed the cat. CHAPTER 7 The cat clawed out of the toilet. CHAPTER 8 The cat was wet. The cat was cold. CHAPTER 9 The cat was angry at the human.
16
CATS AND DOGS AND PENGUINS AND EVEN ICE CREAM
CHAPTER 10 The human was nervous. The cat scratched at the human. CHAPTER 11 The cat wanted to go to the city. CHAPTER 12 The cat said sorry to the human. And they went to the city.
Ice Cream By Aisa, age 7
Once upon a time there was a cute ice cream travelling all around the world. A kid wanted the ice cream, and some one else wanted it, too. So they fought and while they fought the ice cream ran away. It ran to a mountain and an eagle swooped it up to her nest and fed them.
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ONE OF A KINDS
Ice Cream Penguins By Waddling Penguin, age 12, with Tara, a volunteer mentor There was a magical world where a slime monster had taken over! One day, our heroine, Mary, was hungry and decided she wanted to eat ice cream, most particularly mint chocolate chip. However, in this world, there was only slime-flavoured ice cream. Mary was so sad that she started running around, saying, “I WANT ICE CREAM.” She was so loud that the penguins nearby heard her. They ran over and said, “Be quiet! You are being too loud. We need to sleep.” Mary had never heard penguins talk before, so she was amazed. She exclaimed, “How many languages do you know?” The penguins replied, “One. Just English.” Suddenly, Mary remembered her ice cream craving. She asked, “Can you make ice cream?” The penguins looked confused because everyone knows they can. “Duh,” said the largest penguin. “Make me some, then,” said Mary. The penguins said no, but after they saw Mary’s sad face, they said yes!
My Name Is Jeff By Kyle, age 10 One day there was a cat named Jeff. Jeff was a troller to other cats, so he said, “What is nine plus ten?” Another cat said, “Twenty-one.” The cat walked away from the cat troller because he thought it was wrong, so he was a Jeff-troller because he didn’t even know what nine plus ten is.
18
CATS AND DOGS AND PENGUINS AND EVEN ICE CREAM
Twin Sisters By Anh Thu, age 8 unicorn
KNOCK
meow
19
LOST CAT
ONE OF A KINDS
Meow, Part 1 By Joey, age 10 There was a cat named Meow. Meow liked living alone, but Meow wanted a friend. One day Meow encountered a unicorn. They became instant friends. Then the unicorn revealed itself as the evil lord of Unicornia and banished Meow to Antarctica. Meow landed on a penguin. Meow asked for directions. The penguin agreed to help. Penguin and Meow set off toward the evil castle. They had no way to get in, though. The penguin slipped and found a secret passage. When they got to the throne room, the unicorn created a snowstorm. They made a snow wall to protect themselves. They thought and thought. Then they threw snowballs, using the penguin’s sword as a catapult.
The Hurt Dog By Selena, age 8 One day someone saw a hurt dog. Then a little girl brought the dog home. And the little girl named the dog Lemon. Lemon ate a big piece of meat.
20
Trouble in the Witch Mall By Doris, age 11 On October 21, two witches walked into the Witch Mall. They went to Witch and Broom to buy masks for the Halloween sleepover party at Katherine’s mansion. Katherine was a human with no parents or any guardians, so she could do anything that she wanted! The witches couldn’t decide which mask to buy since they were all either spooky or pretty masks. They walked and walked and walked and walked and finally found the perfect mask. But there was only one. They started arguing and fighting. The owner of the mall came and started talking to them but the two witches ignored him and kept fighting and arguing. There were only a few more minutes until Katherine’s sleepover party, but the witches were still arguing about who should take the mask. Then the mall owner got angry and kicked them out of the mall.
The Great Soccer Game By Ewen, age 7 It was the last game of the series. Barcelona was playing against Real Madrid. The game was on. Barcelona had the ball. The player dribbled up the field. He shot and scored the goal. The next player dribbled and raced up the field. He shot and missed. It was a goal kick. The player chipped it up the field. The player got the ball. And it was game over.
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ONE OF A KINDS
The Life of a Reincarnation Coin By J.H., age 10 After the coin was destroyed by the government it got reincarnated into a nickel. Now its journey begins! Got found by a man. The man gave it to his friend. Got robbed. Then the person did a robbery. The coin got arrested. They turned it in to the bank. Escaped the bank. Was lying on the road. Got hit by a car, then sent to the galaxy. Got hit by a rocket. Got kidnapped by aliens. Escaped again. Got teleported to Earth. Then landed in the middle of a bomb attack. Then got destroyed by a tank shot. The End
Mountain Lion By Anson, age 8 One day there was a mountain lion He hunted people. He went home and he slept. And then the people were safer.
22
REAL DAYS / CRAZY DAYS
The Baby By Jasmine, age 9 This is my Mommy with a big baby in her tummy.
Because she’s holding the baby, we have a stroller and a baby crib and a small bed and we have our own bed and we sleep in the night and go to Writers’ Exchange and go to Latchkey.
The Soccer Game By Francis, age 7 At my last game of soccer it was raining. I played striker, defender and goalie. I scored three goals. One time I scored at the end of the game. I really like soccer. The score was 4 to 1. My team won the game. It was very fun.
23
ONE OF A KINDS
Red Team vs. Blue Team By Wyatt, age 11
Messi
Ronaldo
The blue and red teams are tied at 3 after 90 minutes and go to a shootout. Messi is going to take the first shot.
Ousted saves the shot.
Ousted
And the shot gets saved by Scott Sterling.
It is tied at 0-0. For penalty shots we’ll go to the finals. Messi will take the shot.
24
Sterling
The second shot is going to be taken by Ronaldo.
Just as the shot is about to be saved, Sterling gets abducted by aliens and the blue team has to forfeit.
REAL DAYS / CRAZY DAYS
Taste Buds By Peaches, age 8
One day at Writers’ Exchange, Peaches was making a popcorn, apple, ranch and cheese sandwich with tomatoes on the side. And when she pressed on her taste buds it made the sandwich taste like a hotdog! She pressed on her taste buds for 10 seconds and then she ate it all up.
Conspiracy Theory, Chapter 2 By Stephanie S., age 12 We all eat Fruit Loops. People say they taste the same, but they actually taste like McDonald’s sweet and sour sauce, without the sour. How do I know that? I know that because Michael Jackson went into a spaceship and flew all the way to McDonald’s, and Ronald McDonald told me when I was eight, through the time travelling. Where is Ronald McDonald? Ask Tupac.
25
Manaphy By Stephanie M., age 11
Manaphy, like salmon, return to where they’re born. They are Mythical Pokémon from the Sinnoh region. Their height is 1’00” and their weight is 3.1 lb.
Funny Animals By Alexander, age 7 A giraffe found a stick. He put it in someone’s toilet. It clogged and overflowed. The water went under the door. The giraffe dug a hole and escaped. The human yelled, “Who clogged the toilet?” Then he went inside but no one was there.
The Wait By Jackson, age 7 A man was waiting and waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting aaaaaaaannnnnnnddddd done. He was waiting for the end.
26
FUNNIES AND FUNNIER
The Funny Story of the Kitten By Mary, age 8
Once upon a time there was a little kitten. She went into the bathroom and looked into the toilet. She got a stool first so she could reach. On the top, it was grey. She was looking into the toilet when she flushed it and fell in! She fell down into the sewer. In the sewer was a cat sitting in a big chair. She was the queen of the Sewer. She was half cat and half rat. She was trying to jump down. The kitten was really happy because the queen said, “You are now my daughter and you will become the queen.� On her 15th birthday she became the queen. She made everything clean and she went into a castle. She made a little trap so no one would break in and steal stuff. She had a big house that looked small from the front. She had nice stuff and she had a pool. There was a little gate to go in. If you were not nice the crocodiles would snap at you. They would swim to the gate, and you could unlock it by pulling a string. They were very nice if you were nice to them. Then someone came and they went inside the yard. It was nice. They had a big giant pool and stairs. She turned all the cats into humans and there were bubbles in her yard.
27
ONE OF A KINDS
Bananit By Jeff, age 8 Once there was a banana on a rainy day. His name was George. His brother’s name I forget but I’ll call him Bean. Where was I . . . Oh yeah, George wanted a paper boat so he peeled himself to make a boat and floated in it. Then he hit his head on a barricade. The banana boat skin fell in the sewer. “OMG, my skin,” he said. A clown appeared and said, “Is this your boat? Come and reach for it.” George said, “No. I will tell my brother to make a boat.” The clown said, “I mean, you need your skin.” George said, “Yeah, so I’ll buy a new skin.” “Just grab it,” said the clown. No yes no yes no yes no yes . . . “Ok, whatever,” said the clown. “Yes . . . NO! Ok, clown.” “Ok,” said the clown.
The Failure movie By Beatrice, age 9 Once upon a time the movie company was making a movie about fruit flies playing soccer in the green bin. They were in the middle of the movie and the scene fell down and the unicorn was eating donuts behind the scene. Everybody started chasing the unicorn and said, “We want donuts!” She looked down at the donut box and there were no more left! So she had to go to Tim Hortons to buy them all donuts. But then there were not enough donuts! So she had to buy more donuts for them. After they got donuts they were all happy, so they became best friends and whenever they saw the unicorn they ate donuts together. The unicorn always got donuts for free.
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FUNNIES AND FUNNIER
The Bad Bully By Farley, age 8 Later . . .
We need WATER
You have dirt on your cupcake
I made the fire.
You better not have made the fire.
I quit.
Hi BOB, should you be bad?
Nope.
1 week later . . .
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ONE OF A KINDS
Jeff By Sam C., age 9 Let me in!!!
Once upon a time . . .
No!!!
Jeff was playing video games and a vampire was outside the door, knocking on it.
Then Jeff stopped playing video games. Jeff ate some bread.
Yeeeeeeee!!! Open the door.
Thank you.
Jeff stopped eating. He went to open the door.
Then the vampire gave some crazy food to Jeff.
Chapter 2!!!???
Me don’t care.
Wheee!!!
Jeff jumped into the garbage can.
Then Jeff closed the door. He ate the food. He got crazy and ran out the door and into the city.
Beep beep!!!
Me stuck.
Then the garbage truck came and Jeff got stuck in there.
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Then the garbage truck went to somewhere.
FUNNIES AND FUNNIER
Me go home!!!
Dump into the garbage Me Mr. Lonely who has nobody
Pop!!!
Home!
!
SLAM
but me hungry. Let’s kill him!
Yeeeeeeee!!!
1 hour later . . .
Yeeeeeeee!!!
Yeeeeeeee!!!
!
SLAM
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ONE OF A KINDS
Jeff the Chef By Aiden, age 9 Me no money!!!
SLAM!
Jobs
Once upon a time . . .
Jeff the Chef went to the city . . .
stinky garbage
Then the vampire gave some crazy food to Jeff.
crazy food
Thank u!!!
Chefs
This time I let you, next time no more!
And so . . . tee hee!!
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Hey!!!
FUNNIES AND FUNNIER
ow!!
the crazy food
yeee!!!
yum!!!
glass
yeeeeee!!!
crazy food glass
And so . . .
Chef’s Chefs
He went out so he could eat people meat . . .
hi!!!
yum
Why does he have bad blood?
lick lick
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And so . . .
yummy
Battle of Minecraft Mobs By Yuki, age 9 Once upon a time, a creeper and a slime met in a cave and they began to fight. The slime was too weak and small and it could not damage the creeper, therefore the slime lost. Then the ghast and Enderman met in Nether, a world full of lava. They battled each other there. The ghast had an advantage because he could fly. So Enderman was not able to attack. The ghast attacked Enderman with a fireball, which destroyed Enderman. Lastly, the creeper went to Nether to pick some mushrooms. He met the ghast and they fought. And again the ghast could fly so the creeper couldn’t attack. The ghast attacked with a fireball and killed the creeper. He tried to do a victory party but suddenly Wither attacked the ghast and Wither won.
Heroes and the Dragon By Frank, age 6 Once upon a time there was a terrible dragon who left his golden castle and flew far away to a big city, searching for food. First, he found a farm, where he ate a medium pig, then he flew to the city to find more food. But luckily there was Spider-Man and Captain America to save the city! Spider-Man and Captain America fought against the dragon and when they won they convinced the dragon to move to another country. When it was over, Spider-Man and Captain America continued working as a team.
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TALES OF THE BRAVE
The Bear By Anthony, age 8, and Gavin, age 9
Once upon a time there was bear named Ice Bear and his brothers, Panda and Grizz. They lived in a cave. Ice Bear slept in a fridge, and Panda liked to eat a lot. One day they went to the store and they went crazy. They said, “EVERYONE GET OUT OF THE STORE.” One man said, “STOP! In the name of justice.” Ice Bear cooked for his brothers every day because Panda and Grizz didn’t like to cook. Meanwhile, Ice Bear got crazy and kept saying, “ICE BEAR.” Ice Bear said, “Dinnertime,” to call his bothers. Ice Bear searched the whole cave but his brothers were not home. Ice Bear went outside to find them, but it was no use—they weren’t there. Ice Bear called the police to help find them. They searched everywhere but the police did not find them either, so the whole world was looking for Ice Bear’s brothers. Everybody was charging out to find Ice Bear’s brothers. They checked the rivers and they finally found them.
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ONE OF A KINDS
The Illuminati Series: The Start By Tony L., age 8 Mike: Hey! Jack: What in the world do you want me to do? Mike: It’s Westlake High School’s annual book contest!
Jack: Duh. Mike: Cheer up, buddy!
Mike: AGGH! Mike: The Illuminati is true!
On the way to school… Ringgg! Mr. Brown: Today is Saturday and today is picture day! Class: Aughh, why do we do picture day on Saturday?! *POUND* *POUND* *POUND* Mike: Aurgh!
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TALES OF THE BRAVE
Mr. Brown: Announcements will start in ten seconds! Mike: Jack isn’t here! Speaker: Today is . . . iz . . . iz . . . ILLUMINATI DAY! Mike: *Gulp* On the way to Jack’s house . . . Mike: JACK! Jack: WHUT! Mike: The ILILILIluminati is real! Jack: Like that will ever exist . . . CREAK! Mike: That’s the Illuminati map! Jack: How? Mike: I don’t know! Mike: That’s where the Illuminati HQ is!
Graduation day Mike: I hate graduation day. Do you? Jack: Me, too. Mr. Brown: NO TALKING, Mike and Jack! After school Mr. Brown: Goodbye, graduates! Mike: Look at my diploma!
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Mike: !!! Mike: Hey Jack‌ SLAP! Mike: Why did you slap me? Jack: Uh, duh. Mike: I have an idea! We can get to the Illuminati HQ! Jack: That’s a great Idea! Mike: Lets go! On their way to the Illuminati HQ . . . Will our heroes save the entire world? Find out!
Special Preview! Here is a special preview of The Illuminati Series: The End of The World . . . Mike: It is a long walk! Jack: Yes, I agree! As our heroes reach their destination, we get worried Mike: The Illuminati HQ! Illuminati: Oh, this is on . . . Mike and Jack: AGGGH Find out in Summer 2018 . . .
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Zombies Are Fighting vs. Batman! By Michael, age 7 Batman throws his blades. The zombie does not get killed. The zombie tries to kick Batman in the face but Batman dodges. Batman throws his 3D blades and the zombie does the same thing. They catch the blades, and then Robin comes. Robin kicks King Zombie. All the zombies disappear except for King Zombie. Batman throws his 10D blade and Robin kicks the blade. They beat King Zombie and King Zombie disappears!
Zombie House By Kayla, age 8
Once upon a time there was a creepy house. In the house there was a zombie and he bit a person right on the neck. And the person turned into a zombie.
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A Fairytale about Rosey and Jess By Kaylee, age 8 Once upon a time there was a girl named Jess. She was super nice She had a kid named Rosey. Rosey was sad because her dad died. She cried all day and night. On the first day of school Rosey made a lot of friends. She was happy, but there was a guy. He grabbed her and ran back to his house with her. Jess went to pick up Rosey, but she was not there.Jess looked everywhere. She called the cops. Jess was getting worried. The cops came and asked Jess, “How did Rosey get kidnapped?” Jess said, “She got kidnapped when she was walking home.” The cops looked for Rosey everywhere. Then Jess saw Rosey’s hat and she saw a creepy house. The house was black. Then she heard Rosey say, “Help, help!” The cops came and saw the black house and heard that Rosey was screaming. The cops found Rosey and brought her back to Jess. Jess said, “Thank you.” The cops said, “You’re welcome.” The cops found the guy and took him to jail. The guy said, “No!” Rosey and Jess went back home and ate and took a bath and went to bed.
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WARNING: SCARY STORIES!
The Battle of Stalingrad By T.J., age 11 Disclaimer: This is not real, it’s just a story. My name is Viktor Resnov. I was discharged from the army on January 20, 1943. I stayed at the hospital for four days. I went back home on February 8, 1943. When I got back home to Saint Petersburg it was all wrecked. People were everywhere, trying to clean up the wreckage. After a few seconds I started to sigh.
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A Really Scary Story By Sam D., age 11 This is a very scary story. Do not read it if you get scared easily. Tuesday I hate school! I used to like it but one person permanently ruined it! Malteio Spagetorangejusieyfrutjuiessarseychez. He’s the cruellest thing on the planet. At school he always does something to hurt, annoy, or make me look like an idiot. It’s so frustrating. Oh well. Wednesday Malteio is so mean. Today at lunch he caused me to trip in front of everyone and my food landed on my favourite shirt. I must get revenge on him. Thursday Malteio may be a pain in the butt. Well, this will not last for long! I think I have something to end all this. Friday It’s all set up. It’s ready. No mercy. Saturday I saw Malteio. I did it. It was worth it. I hope Malteio enjoyed it. Sunday The people want the deal back. They’re following me. I can’t sleep a wink. I see them everywhere. I can’t escape. I can’t run. I can hear them. They’re coming closer. I made the deal, though.
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WARNING: SCARY STORIES!
Poem Heroes slay dragons Evil gets killed by heroes Murders are done by evil Death is ever present Evil is coming Apples glow purple Deals aren’t done but broken Evil breaks deals
The Mobs By Eric, age 7
One time there was a guy that was in a forest that had a lot of mobs. In the forest there was some fire and traps. The guy was in survival mode, so he could get killed. He only had one life. One day, at night, he made a house. He was safe in there. Then, after, he was eating an enchanted golden apple and he got more lives. After, when he went out of his house, he started to defend himself. Then there were no dangers in the forest ever again. He changed into creative mode and spawned mobs and made traps. Then when the other players got in they got a shock! Except when they were being creative.
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The Mystery By Noah, age 9
One day in Minecraft I played in the woods. In the woods I saw a chest. In the chest there was a mystery.
The Mummy By M.C., age 6 First, it was Halloween. A very scary day. Next, I dropped my mentor in the river from my helicopter. Then we raced to the top of a volcano and there was hot lava. Last, I made a tape net to save people. They were stuck in the tape forever, but they wanted to get out. So they ripped themselves free!
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WARNING: SCARY STORIES!
Vampires return By Sharen, age 9 Once upon a time there was much to be desired. Then a little boy was walking in a cemetery and something bit him— something hairy and squeaky yet small and fragile. It was a bat that bit him. As soon as he got home, his parents hugged him and told him to never run off alone ever again. After his parents let him go, he ran up to his room and hid under his bed. He noticed that his teeth had turned and he needed to drink something red, juicy and, for some people, disgusting! He even started to sleep upside down, and something just wasn’t right about him after that night. His parents were worried about him because he hadn’t left his room for DAYS! He knew he was turning into something strange, he just didn’t know what. He started thinking about his parents and what they did to him, but he didn’t know it was the bat that bit him.
Halloween Ghosts Haunt Christmas! By Steven, age 9
Murder mystery, Trick or treating in the night, Ghosts go away now!
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Reflection By T.F., age 11 There was a boy called Sam. His mom was going to work, and when she left Sam sat on the couch and turned on the T.V. Then he heard some footsteps outside. A few hours later . . . It was 12 a.m. and Sam was still watching T.V. Then he heard the footsteps again. Sam glanced at the screen door and saw a man behind it. Sam panicked and called the police. Later, when the police came, Sam told them what happened. The police checked around the screen door but they couldn’t find any sign of footsteps outside. They told Sam he was probably hallucinating. But then after an officer checked behind the couch, he turned around with a horrified face. He had seen wet footsteps behind the couch. As they examined it more closely, they found a note that said, “He was lucky, but I will get him next time.” A few months later . . . Sam moved to a different house. He was about to turn on the T.V. when he heard someone knocking on his door. He went to answer it and when he did, the same man from a few months before appeared at his doorstep and said, “You can run, but you can’t hide.”
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WARNING: SCARY STORIES!
The Demon By Jack, age 9 There is this demon who lives in the sewers. He is immortal. He makes you mute, and only I can hear him. He will put voices in your head. He will destroy you. He will cause a zombie apocalypse for a distraction. This is not a story. Cousins are demons, and brothers are also demons. He can summon the creepypasta: Candle Cove, the Rake, Jeff the Killer, Squidward, No End House, Slenderman, Mr. Wide Mouth, Pokémon Black, Smile Dog, Spongebob, Expressionless, Hero Brine, Lavender Town, the Theatre, Abandoned by Disney and Eyeless Jack. He has no pupils. He has sharp teeth. He wants to take over the world. He can’t be defeated. There’s no way to escape him, so whoever he comes after is doomed—except me, because I am a lucky one. You have to hide. You have to escape the continent that you’re in. He has no name.
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The Cupcake By Matalin, age 8
Once upon a time in the kitchen, there was a little cupcake, and the cupcake always carried her best friend, Cherry. One day, her other friend, Sprinkles, came over. “Oh hi, Sprinkles, you did not tell me you were coming,” said Cupcake. “I came to ask you if you want to come to the refrigerator,” said Sprinkles. “Ok, ok,” said Cupcake and Cherry. “First, I need a scarf,” said Cherry. “Ok, you can have this one,” said Cupcake. “Let’s go!” In a vroom vroom and a bip bip . . . “Well, we’re here!” said Cherry. “Yup! We are here. Let’s chomp! Up and up and up and up and I am getting verrrrryyy cold,” said Cupcake. “Wait! One . . . two . . . three . . . Here is the great golden pizza! Yum yum yummmmm!!!!” said Cherry and Cupcake and Sprinkles. Chomp, chomp and chomp.
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ONE-OF-A-KIND FRIENDSHIPS
Diary of Camp By Amira, age 9, with Chloe, a volunteer mentor It was a nice day at camp. Rachel and Sarah wanted to go swimming at White Pine Beach. While they were swimming, they saw beautiful mermaids and sparkly diamonds in the water.
Super Girl By Reina, age 8, with Jeff, a volunteer mentor
Super Girl is hiding. Can you find her? Do you like Super Girl? I do. What is your name? _______________ How old are you? Circle the number: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
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Lonelies Interact: Fails By Anonymous, age 10 Lonely . . . La, la, l-l-lonely . . . B: What’s the subject for this? J: Dunno. Tony? T: Ju-uice! B (seriously): Cereal? J: CRACKERS! B: Could we just stay on task, please? T: JHKGHLLOVWEXM *Random Stuff* BEEEP!
B: Whoah, sorry! We’re having technical difficulties! J: Whoah . . . 030 B: Bruh . . The next day A: Hi. Mam_______________________ma L: Sa-ay something . . . [copyrighted] L: Sorry about that. T: Stewy. B: Cross that out please? S: Hi. L: Hello. B: I farted. L: No one cares. B: [***] Again. B: I could kick you out, boi. L: *awkward silence* JM: Biking uphill is harder than downhill. B: HAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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B: W B: H B: E B: N B: B: D B: I B: D B: B: Y B: O B: U B: B: G B: E B: T B: B: I B: N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! J: LOL B: How— Everyone leaves chat except for Benny B: Now no one can be kicked out . . . I’m so lonely . . . Lonel-ee
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The Sisters By Memorie, age 8
Once upon a time there was a little girl. Her name was Blossom. She loved to play battle with all her friends. Then once she accidentally went into a battle. She hid and made a teleporter. She was a great builder but there was no time to tell anybody where she was going. She teleported to another dimension. It was the time when karate was first invented. But then she accidentally teleported to the time when she was born. She felt terribly sad when that happened because she missed the time that everyone listened to her. It never happened again after she turned 12. She teleported before her tears could flood the whole building. Then she teleported to a time when there were backward cats and spikey hair. Once she teleported back, there were some strange things going on. So she made a new teleporter that told her where she was actually going. She went to Canada, then she went to Paris. She explored Paris, then the teleporter said Vancouver and she decided to go home.
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Her mother said, “Why won’t you just be like normal kids?” Blossom said, “I can’t help it, because you get to see the world when you teleport and you can explore everything, even before you were born and whenever you wish to go.” Her mum said, “I guess you can stay the way you are.” Blossom started to cry, and almost flooded the whole world. Blossom made another thing she liked to call the ice cream shop. She made a bunch of ice cream but she was still sad when she made a mistake. So she made another teleporter that teleported back to her time, but she accidentally made another mistake and dropped the antidote of Chemical X. In that time there were more sisters and she loved them very much. Bubbles and Buttercup were just like her. Blossom said hello and asked, “Do either of you like animals?” Bubbles said, “I love animals so much!” in a squeaky voice. “And who likes to battle? I wonder . . .” said Buttercup. “I do, but why am I in this dress?” Blossom said, “I don’t know why you’re in that dress. I guess you’re just like me.” Bubbles went outside to get some ice cream. Bubbles loved her ice cream. She had to get two . . . actually, three! Haha! Bubbles got cotton candy and blueberry flavours. But when she got home she needed more and went out to get 20 more blueberry ice creams. She took thousands and thousands of dollars for the ice cream but it was free because she was just like Blossom. Blossom brought her a wagon full of ice cream that would never melt. She loved the wagon but Buttercup thought it was just okay. Of course, Blossom thought it was just okay, too. Buttercup was just like her. The blueberry tasted okay, but sometimes it tasted a bit weird. But Blossom still loved the blueberry. It was from her mother—she made weird ice cream sometimes. But Blossom
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didn’t care. All she cared about was that she had sisters. She always had sisters, everywhere around her. They went home to go to sleep and of course they had to eat dinner. They brushed their teeth, then they went downstairs to watch a quick movie. They were watching a scary movie that Buttercup picked. Bubbles was screaming so hard she woke her mother up. Bubbles was crying but her sisters just said, “It’s fine, we’ll see what happens.” They stayed up all night until morning, then they said, “Let’s go for ice cream” and they walked to the ice-cream store. Bubbles began to worry about going to the pool, because she was scared of the water and the sharks. But her sisters told her, “Trust us, there are no such things as sharks. They’re only in movies and if you have bad dreams we’ll make sure we have bad dreams, too. A sister is a sister.” Then Bubbles went to the pool. She thought, “What if there are mini-sharks at the baby pool?” Then her mother said, “Do you mean piranhas?” Bubbles got even more worried that they were going to eat her, so her mother blindfolded her. After that she just went in and became calm. Once her mother unblindfolded her, she did not get scared until 12 hours later. So they just went to get ice cream, and waited to digest it on the way back to the pool. They played there until it closed. They were so excited because it was Halloween the next day and they were going to get their costumes. Buttercup said, “I don’t like Halloween that much.” Buttercup hated it because she didn’t like bunnies and cute things like her costume. While they were trick-or-treating, Buttercup said to one of her neighbours, “Trick or treat, now please give me the whole bowl of candy so I can get out of this uncomfortable bunny costume!” Then Bubbles said, “I’ll have it.”
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Greetings By Legend, age 12
Sister Location Minecraft By Kevin, age 9 Lolbit
Ballora
Funtime Foxy
Funtime Freddy
Puppet
Baby Bon-Bon
Funtime Foxy and Funtime Freddy were talking and playing cards. They went to Bon-Bon’s room and Funtime Freddy said, “Why does Bon-Bon have a room?” Foxy said “Oh my god! Stop it, Funtime Freddy.” Then Puppet and Ballora met Baby. Funtime Foxy found Lolbit and saved her, and then Foxy and Lolbit lived happily ever after.
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AUTOGRAPHS
These 43 wonderful volunteer mentors worked with the kids during the fall 2017 after-school programs at the Writers’ Exchange. A big thanks to all of them: Alex M., Alexander G., Alyssa, Amna, Anita, Ashley, Bern, Chloe, Christina, Colby, Daphnee, Diana, Emi, Erin B., Erin N., Genevieve, Hannah, Harkirat, Helen, Jane, Jeff, Jessica, Jody, Kandice, Manon, Maren, Maria, Matt, Megan, Melissa, Mem, Michelle, Millie, Nhea, Paolo, Patty, Rafal, Sarah, Shaun, Stacey, Steve, Tara and Winston.
And a special thanks also to long-time volunteer Morgan for donating many boxes of Halloween mini-pumpkins to help inspire the kids.