Why You Always Lyin'

t h e w r i t e rs ' e xc h a n g e p r e s e n t s

WHY YOu ALWAYS LYIN '

a b o o k o f t r u t h + t r i c k e ry by d i v i s i o n 4 at s t r at h c o n a e l e m e n ta ry

Copyright © 2017 The Writers’ Exchange This book was created by Division 4, Mr. Larson’s grade 6/7 class, at Strathcona Elementary in the fall of 2016.

The Writers’ Exchange gets inner-city kids excited about reading and writing through mentoring and creative writing projects like this chapbook. All Writers’ Exchange programs are free for the children and families we serve, so we could not exist without the support of amazing donors, including Marily Mearns, the Waterbury Foundation, Social Venture Partners Vancouver, Megan Abbott, Bernard MacLeod, Linda Louis, TELUS Vancouver Community Board, Leo and Florence Helzel, BPS Wealth Management, Nancy and Ted Maitland, Lynn and Gene Gerwing, the RBC Foundation, the City of Vancouver and the Wolrige Foundation. Thank you.

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Why You Always Lyi n '

i ntroducti o n

By Teo Hello, this book was made by Division 4, Mr. Larson’s class. There are about 24 students, so that means 72 stories. Our stories are about two truths and one lie. Two Truths and a Lie is a game that many people play. You play Two Truths and a Lie by brainstorming two true stories that have happened in your life and one made-up story.

After you get your ideas, you share them with everybody. Then the people you told the stories to have to guess which one was the lie.

Division 4 has worked really hard on these stories. We hope you enjoy them.

contents Colton

1

J.B.

Anita

3

Candyce 17

Nikki

5

Mandy

19

Teo

6

Beck

20

Max

7

Caden

21

Sabrina 8

15

Monique 22

Tetsu

9

Alonso

23

Lucia

9

Xander

24

Alicia

11

Sogand

25

Eva

13

C.F.

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Co lton

Mount Baker “Yessssssss,” I shouted. We had reached the first base camp on Mount Baker.

We were approaching the saddle—one of the most dangerous places on Mount Baker. The saddle is a huge block of ice that sits above the trail. Anyway, we decided to not stay the night at the first base camp, so we tried to go for the second. We trudged along under the saddle and hoped for the best.

We were almost past the saddle when I heard a noise—a quiet noise like a refrigerator opening. It began to get closer. It sounded like a million tons of rock were tumbling down! Suddenly, a block of ice tumbled down beside me, opening a crevasse that swallowed me and pulled me under the ice. I was fortunate, though, and I was pulled out before it sealed up.

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Grouse Grind Hiking the Grouse Grind is fun and a good way to get outside. My mom and I enjoy the hike and do it every summer. This summer, my mom and I decided on a challenge to get in shape, so we trained on the Broken Islands to hike the Grouse Grind 11 times!

Every Sunday from the start of the season we trudged up the Grouse Grind, slowly shortening the time of our hikes from an estimated one hour and forty-five minutes to an estimated one hour and five minutes. The start of season and the climb were difficult and gruelling but over time I got used to it.

And it became easy as pie. I think the thing that kept me going was the sight at the end of the hike and being refreshed, and also the feeling of completion.

I Am a Descendent of . . .

When people think about my culture they assume my relatives were bakers, but they’re not correct. Yes, we were sort of bakers, but we were also knights.

As knights we served the King of England and fought in the south. During our free time we were bakers and we baked for the village, but during times of war, the king called on us and we would be knights! I learned about my history from my grandpa on the English side of my family. He told me about it while we were celebrating Celtic Day in Victoria. Apparently, we had our own flag and amour!

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An ita The Babysitter When I was a baby, someone babysat me. I don’t know the person’s name. I was crying because I wasn’t with my parents. The babysitter was a lady. She babysat everyone—five kids. They were my family. They were all girls. One is my twin. My sisters and I were in an old house. It was a silent house until my sisters and I were in it. We were all crying and sad. Then the babysitter told her name to me. It was Amanda. She was nice. She was kind. The names of my sisters and I are Annie, Anna, Angela, Anita and Adrienne. One day, my parents went to Amanda’s house. It was time for milk, so my dad fed us.

Amanda forgot to say she fed one of the twins already, so then Adrienne or I puked. My mom told my dad, “Oh, no.” Then my dad cleaned it up. It was milk puke. That was the last day of babysitting, so my parents brought my sisters and me home.

Famous Cousins In 2018, my whole family is going to Vietnam. My grandma is in Vietnam, and some of my cousins are also there. Two of my cousins are famous, like Taylor Swift, but they don’t sing, they perform. The oldest brother stands up and puts something on top of his head. The younger brother stands on his head on top of the older brother. Last year, I saw them perform. It was amazing. Near the end of the show, they almost fell but they didn’t. My mum was so scared, her heart just pumped.

After the show, a person gave my cousins a hundred dollars. It was a lot.

My cousins didn’t want it because they didn’t want to be greedy, but after a long talk, she gave them another hundred dollars. They each got one hundred dollars. They are famous, but not everybody knows them. It’s like 20 out of 100 people do.

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We went to their show when they were here. It was at the QE theatre. They also perform in other countries and earn a lot of money. They mostly give the money to their parents. Their parents are doctors, and they use the money to save lives.

One day, my cousins went to perform in Russia. My cousins told me all about it. It was really cool, and also sad. My cousins fell and hurt themselves.

They both got really damaged. After a long time, their backs healed. Their mom told them to not do it any more, but they did. They are nervous when they perform but they keep performing. It is amazing for them because they can help hundreds and hundreds of people.

Chase in the Future When I am older and my sisters and I have jobs, we are going to buy a big house, and all of my sisters are going to live in it. Also, we are going to buy a dog—a small breed, like a Yorkie. The house is going to be gigantic. We’re going to live in Vancouver. We are also going to help homeless people and poor people. Also people that only have water and not that much food. My family is also going to bring my dog—it’s a he, and his name is Chase. He is four months old and he is really smart. When we get older, we are 100 percent going to bring Chase to our really big house. He is my family. Chase is clumsy, too. Sometimes he is naughty—never mind, he is always naughty! At night he’s not naughty. Chase is very cute. He bites me but I still love him. Yesterday, he was hurt. His paw was bleeding a lot. My dad was cutting his nails and it was an accident. The family wanted to put a cast around Chase’s paw. It was really cute, but I felt sad. The next day, he was healed. He took the cast off, but we couldn’t take him outside or he was going to hurt himself.

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N i kki Caramel Mess Caramel is hard to melt. My friend learned that the hard way. It was Mother’s Day and my friend tried to make a caramel apple for his mom. He watched many videos on how to make a caramel apple. He did it, but left the caramel melting for too long and he burned it. It set the fire alarm off and woke up his older brother and he got in big trouble. He was scared that his mom would yell at him.

The Sleepover One night my cousins and I were having a sleepover. One of my cousins said, “Let’s play hide and seek in the dark.” We all were very hesitant, so we said, “Let’s have dinner first.” So we ate and had a mini rest. After an hour’s rest, we were back on our feet. We debated if we should play or go out and buy dessert.

We chose dessert, so we left and bought dessert, then we ate our dessert and started to play. We had rules: no hiding behind closed doors, no turning lights on, and be very careful. About five rounds into the game, my cousin Faith was hiding near the stairs and she fell. She didn’t cry. When she fell, I screamed, “Kid down!” Everyone ran out of their hiding places and we all helped her. She scratched her knee. There was lots of bloody paper. But she was fine.

The Fish It was a nice day in Mexico, so my family said, “Let’s got for a swim in the ocean.”

So after we finished breakfast, we went to pack everything and we left for the beach. When we got there, I went to swim with my cousins. One of my cousins said, “Let’s try to catch a fish.” I said, “No, thanks.” I swam away, and while I was swimming I stopped and tried to grab my goggles and instead I caught a fish.

Then it slipped out of my hand.

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Teo My Sister Got Bitten One day, my friend’s little sister was at playing at Crab Park and suddenly a pit bull came running at her and bit her on the cheek. They went over to her and checked to see if she was okay, but her cheek was bleeding a lot. They took her to the hospital. The doctor checked to see if the bite was deep and it was pretty deep.

She got stiches in her cheek. Her cheek was so swollen it looked like a big balloon.

After she got bit she never wanted to see dogs and did not like dogs. She did not like dogs for a whole year or so. The dog owner that had the dog that bit her offered to put the dog down. They said no! They know she likes dogs.

My Brother Cut His Foot When I was two years old, I locked my brother and my sister out of my grandma’s house. My sister was drinking orange juice. When she was done, she put her glass cup on the floor. My brother picked up her glass and threw it on the ground. After my brother threw it on the ground, he walked over and stepped on it in bare feet.

My mom heard my brother crying and unlocked the door and picked him up.

His foot was covered in blood. My mom was really worried about his injury. She drove him to the hospital and checked him in. My brother was in the hospital for a couple of hours. When my brother came out of the hospital he had a big scar on his foot.

I Got Stung by a Scorpion When I was eight, I got stung by a scorpion in Mexico. When I went to Mexico I went into the forest to catch iguanas with my dad, and I stepped on a scorpion.

I started to scream and cry. My dad picked me up and ran to his boat and took me to the hospital. My dad told me that the scorpion that stung me was not a poisonous type. The scorpion sting was hurting a lot. When we got to the hospital, they checked to see if the scorpion sting was bad, but it was not. They gave me a special cream to put on the scorpion sting. I put it on my foot and it helped a lot.

After a couple of weeks my foot was all better.

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Max The Quarter One time, I swallowed a quarter and I had to go to the hospital. This happened a few days before I turned six. I found the quarter on my counter at home and I wondered if money tasted good. I put the quarter in my mouth and it tasted a bit like an ice cream. I liked the taste so I kept it there. Then my tongue flipped it back and I accidentally swallowed it. I didn’t think much of it and casually told my parents I swallowed a quarter. They told me I needed to go to the hospital. I didn’t believe them at first, but then I went to the hospital and stayed there until 1 a.m.

Tag Fall One time, in summer 2012, I was playing Predator in a park during summer camp and I didn’t want to get tagged, so I climbed up a tree and hid. After a few minutes of waiting and not seeing anyone who was “it” I started climbing down, but my foot got stuck and I fell off. It hurt tons and then I realized I couldn’t move it. After ten seconds of me calling for help, my friend found me. He told the summer camp staff, who called an ambulance. Fifteen minutes later the ambulance arrived and took me to the hospital.

The Glow Stick One time I ate a glow stick. It was the day before Halloween and I was ten and in grade 5. It happened inside the school. My teacher gave the whole class glow sticks to celebrate Halloween and after school I was getting ready to go to an after-school program with my friends that our parents forced us to join.

I looked at my neon green glow stick, thinking it was some pretty good candy, and then I bit into it. It actually tasted pretty good. It tasted like a coconut bun with salt. Then I realized it was a liquid and swallowed about 15 percent of it before my friends told me it was a glow stick. I spat it out. One of the staff at the program called poison control to make sure I was okay. I forgot what poison control said, but I drank a lot of water to wash the glow stick liquid out.

When I got home I told my parents about it, but they just told me not to drink anything glowing.

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Sabri na Echo in the Sink My cat Echo has a habit of sleeping in the bathroom sink. It all started one day when I was washing my hands—Echo, curious, leaned over and slipped in, but instead of scrambling out, she looked shocked as droplets of water splattered her fur. I turned off the tap and watched her; Echo sniffed, sighed, then fell asleep. Ever since, she has kept going to the sink to this day. But one time I turned the tap on when she was sleeping—Echo’s eyes flew open and with a hiss she sprang up in the air and dashed out of the bathroom.

Stray Cats Under the House A long time ago, when I was about five or younger, my mother found out that a band of stray cats (a she-cat and her six kittens) were literally UNDER our house! My mother called the SPCA but they said she had to get the cats out herself. And she did. One by one, she lured them out with food and loaded them in the cat carrier, but when she picked up the last one, called Tiger, he bit her nail—right through it, too! I also remember that before that happened I wanted to keep the black one called Night, but my mother said no, as at the time we had Sparkle and Cali. But I’ll always remember the sweet little kittens.

(Not Tiger so much, but still!)

Two Birthdays My brother is 19. For his birthday, he went on a ship for two days, then came back and celebrated it again. I don’t get it—two birthdays!? It’s not fair, but he was cool with it, obviously. For his ship birthday, Luca (that’s his name) basically texted the whole time, or so he told me. And for the other, he hung out with his friends and went swimming. And why did he celebrate it twice? I don’t know. On the phone, he said something about “the more the better,” so there you have it!

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Tetsu I’ve Broken a Bone When I was ten years old, I was at a park with my friends. We had a contest for who could climb the tallest tree in the park the fastest. During the climb I lost my footing on a branch and slipped off. I broke my ankle and my friend helped me get back to my mom. I went to the doctor soon after.

I Cut My Finger with a Knife I was sitting at the table carving something with my knife when suddenly my hand slipped and I sliced the side of my left index finger open. There was blood. The knife was a survival knife and the handle was orange and grey. I wore a Band-Aid for about a month or two.

I’ve Never Been Stung by a Bee My friends have been stung by bees, but I haven’t. One of them had a big reaction to the sting and the other friend didn’t mind much. I haven’t been stung by wasps, either. I just avoid bees and wasps, unlike my friends.

Lucia Poutine On October 2016, I tried poutine for the first time. I was at Costco and it was around 6 p.m. I was with my mom and dad. I was very hungry because I had just finished grocery shopping, so I decided to try poutine. I thought I would like it. I didn’t like it, but I didn’t hate it. The poutine had gravy, french fries and cheese. I liked the fries but I didn’t like the gravy. The cheese was ok. I told my mom I didn’t like it that much so she ate some of it. I finished the rest because I was hungry. I would try poutine again if it didn’t have gravy, but if it didn’t have gravy it wouldn’t be poutine.

Falling Tile One day in grade 5 at around 8 a.m., I was at volleyball practice. Volleyball practice was at the gym. The whole team was there. We were playing bomber and the balls were very fast. I bumped the ball so high it hit the ceiling and a ceiling tile fell on me. My head didn’t hurt but there was dust in my eyes 9

Why You Always Lyi n '

and I had scars on my arm. I went to the office and I put my eye in water and blinked so the dust came out. After that, it was time to go to class. There was a substitute teacher in my class. I stayed at school until after recess. I went to the doctor after recess to see if there was still dust in my eyes. The doctor said there was no more dust in my eyes. Then I went home and I was very tired so I fell asleep.

Harry Potter It was a Monday morning in grade 5. I was 11 years old. It was reading time.

I didn’t know what to read so my friend recommended that I try the Harry Potter books. So I started reading the first book. I really enjoyed the book so I started reading the Harry Potter books all the time. The last Harry Potter book I read was called Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. I finished that book in October 2015. I really enjoyed the last Harry Potter book and I can’t wait until the next one comes out.

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ali cia

The Hike During the summer, my family and I went to Lynn Valley for a quick and easy hike. As we were going, we stopped at McDonald’s for a snack break and to set the GPS because the road was blocked. When we got to Lynn Valley, we started hiking. We went all around and explored. There was a small, steep hill and I almost fell to my death . . . more like, I slipped a little bit and kept on going. We took a bunch of pictures and stopped because it was very hot and we needed a break. We got lost a few times but we found our way back and crossed the suspension bridge many times. There were so many people there that I felt like the bridge was going to break. We drove back home and I immediately fell asleep . . . zzzz. Maybe the hike wasn’t so quick and easy.

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Peanuts It might be hard to believe, but when I was younger I was allergic to peanuts.

It happened when I was five years old and it lasted to eight years old. When I ate peanuts my skin started to rash up and it was so bad that I had to go to the doctor ten to 18 times per year to get medication. I don’t know how, but a few times I accidentally ate peanuts. One time my mom was making dinner and she put peanut leaves in one of the dishes. I ate it and I started rashing up. It was BAD! I freaked out when I ate it and started to scream like a maniac.

Another time my friend gave me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I ate it without even knowing and nothing happened. From that day on I haven’t been allergic to peanuts, which is weird, but trust me, even I don’t believe this.

My Hair The history of my hair is . . . bad. I have done so much for my hair. I just need to let it grow. When I was younger I would dye my hair, but not too often.

Sometimes I would dye my hair red and brown, but . . . some of it turned purple. I was okay with it. I permanently curled my hair until grade 3 and then, sadly, I chopped it off. Around grade 4, I had my hair permanently straightened, but it was a rip-off because it didn’t stay straight. I don’t like to cut my hair but every year I’ve had to cut it because my mom said so. I had to cut my hair short three times in my life and each time I cut it up to my shoulders and I HATED IT! The most annoying thing that my hair did was that it hung all over my face while I was sleeping and I looked like I was from the dead. That’s the history of my hair.

P.S. I never died my hair again.

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Eva

S’mores I’ve had s’mores only six or seven times. To make a s’more, take chocolate, a marshmallow and two graham crackers and put it in the oven or on a campfire for around a minute. Marshmallows are made from animal by-products and I don’t want to eat them very many times ’cause pigs are cute. S’mores are 150 calories each and have fewer calories than chips. When I go camping in the springtime, I eat one s’more. I have been to camp for three or four years now.

I went camping at Camp Kawkawa. When everyone was eating s’mores, I was eating Lays chips that expired in June. Lays chips have 120 calories, with six percent fat and one percent saturated fat. I made s’mores on the weekend and my mom ate one. My sister and my brother and I each ate two.

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Washroom I’ve been in a guys’ washroom before. I was only in there for approximately one minute. The washroom is just like the girls’ washroom except for the urinals. There are unflushed toilets, soap and a plant in the washroom. Before I went in there, I thought it would be just the same as the girls’ but probably just have different kinds of doors or mirrors. One time I accidentally went in the guys’ washroom because I didn’t look at the sign. When I was about nine or ten my friend was daring me to go into a guys’ washroom because she knew I’d never been in a guys’ washroom. We were both scared. I also dared her to go in with me.

The Simpsons I’ve never watched The Simpsons. It used to be blocked, and whenever I tried to watch it the TV wouldn’t let me. Now I don’t have the time to look at whether it’s on or if it’s blocked or not because I’m watching another show, like The Flash, Shark Tank or YouTube. Recently, my brother told me it wasn’t blocked, but I didn’t have time to watch it. Also, I didn’t bother to watch it ’cause I thought it was weird and a bad cartoon. I don’t know all the characters’ names. Recently, when I was nine, I played a game and I had a Simpsons character that I had to search to see what the name was. I know some of the characters now but I’ve still never watched it.

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j.b.

I’ve Only Been on a Plane Trip Once Earlier this year, my mom, stepdad and I travelled to Hawaii. The plane trip there was six hours. I had recently got my passport and it was spring break, so we decided to go to Hawaii since my stepdad had been there a bunch of times before. We were on the plane, and it was my first time on a plane. It wasn’t too bad, except for the part where I didn’t sleep at all. When we got there, I immediately noticed the humidity level had changed. The overall trip wasn’t too bad. On the way back there was nowhere to recharge my things, but, eh, whatever. There was also a lot of turbulence. I eventually got used to it, though.

When we got back, I noticed it was really cold. (Also, it was a bit squishy.) I rate this, uh, a 6.274 out of 10.

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Stitches I remember riding a bike that was a bit too big for me . . . aaand then falling over.

Pitch black was all I saw for a long time, then I woke up while I was walking out of the hospital. I had stitches in my head. It was weird—they felt just like staples on my head. I’m pretty sure they were melting stitches, since they just went away and . . . melted, and because I don’t remember anyone taking them out.

Well, anyway, they gave me one of those “GOOD JOB” stickers with a cartoon rabbit on it. And I stuck it on my window in my bedroom. My mom got very mad, cause stickers are not easy to take off of things.

Small Spaces Two years ago, when I was nine, I was playing hide and seek at my cousin’s birthday party, and for some reason I thought to hide in his bedroom closet . . . that didn’t turn out too well. Eventually, I got scared because I thought, “What if it’s locked!” I pushed the door and it didn’t move! I was terrified because I REALLY did not want to be stuck. Then I pushed really hard and it opened . . . but I was also screaming and they found me. Still to this day, I hate small places, and that’s why I sleep on a humongous bed.

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Can dyce My Foot On December 14, 2015, it was just an ordinary rainy day here in Vancouver, B.C. That day I wasn’t feeling very good because it was very gloomy and cold in my house. When I was done eating lunch, I didn’t want to do my homework, so I just went to get my phone to watch YouTube. A few minutes later, my mom started yelling at me to clean up my room. At 2:38 p.m., before I started cleaning up my room, it was still raining and I got really mad because I wanted to go for a little walk with my family. When I started cleaning up my room around 3:30 p.m., I realized there were way too many bags of clothes on the floor, plus three boxes of new shoes and my blanket. When I was cleaning up I got angry that my room was so small, so I kicked the wall and hurt my foot. I started laughing and crying at the exact same time, but my mom, dad and brother didn’t hear me because they were all watching a football game. When I stopped crying we went to Costco for food and flashlights, but my foot was still in a lot of pain. After a few days my foot was still in pain, so my mom took me to a doctor and she told me I broke my foot. I couldn’t do any running, dancing, jumping or any sports for three months. To this very day, my foot still hurts once in a while.

Broken Arm Last year on, July 20, 2015, my family was having a barbeque to celebrate my grandpa’s and brother’s birthdays. My cousin and I decided to ride our bikes down a hill in the back alley, and it was only my seventh time riding a bike so I fell off and broke my arm. My cousins and my mom were laughing at me until I started crying. I couldn’t write or do anything with my right arm, so I forced myself to write with my left hand. I started writing with my left hand and people said my writing looked nicer than it did with my right hand. To this very day I can write with my left hand just as well as with my right hand. My mom took me to the doctor and the doctor took an X-ray of my whole arm. She told me I had to wear a cast around my arm for two months. My cousin saw me with the cast on, and she put weight on it. It hurt so much I had to wear a cast for one whole month again. I will never again ride down a hill when my cousin is riding.

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The Squirrel Once when I was only 11 years old, three months after my birthday, it was a very hot and sunny day. I was really happy because there was no Chinese school and I was going to go shopping to buy some art supplies. When I got home I was eating a lollipop from my teacher and all of a sudden a squirrel popped out of nowhere and started chasing me. After a few seconds I slipped on the stairs and started bleeding a little bit on my knees and elbows. I wasn’t crying but laughing so hard I could hardly breathe. After a few seconds had passed I started crying and my cousins didn’t bother helping me up or getting me bandages or ice. My grandpa started yelling at me because I was fooling around with the squirrel.

The very next day I had two huge bruises and many scratch marks on my knee and elbows. I was complaining about the pain, but I didn’t go to the doctor or anything. I’ve learned my lesson: don’t eat a lollipop and fool around with a squirrel at the same time.

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Man dy I Fell off a Tree Once I was up in a tree and suddenly the tree branch snapped as I was shaking it.

Luckily, I didn’t fall head-first, but I ended up hurting my back. I fractured my arm and had to have a cast on it for at least two weeks, and I couldn’t get it wet or take it off. The tree was harmed and so was I, and that was when I learned that trees are not meant to be climbed on. It was not a good experience and now I have trauma around climbing on trees and I’ve never climbed one ever since. I now also find trees dangerous and I am not even sure why I climbed that tree, since I knew it was a stupid idea. I didn’t have a soft landing and instantly regretted doing it. I fell in grass and I did not cry but instead I was moaning and screaming.

I Hate Dancing I hate dancing because I once twisted my foot while dancing. After that one time I twisted my foot, I started to twist it more often and it would hurt if I walked or ran too much. I haven’t danced ever since and if I have to I just jump or move my hands back and forth. Since I keep twisting my foot, my sister suggested I get it checked out, but I still haven’t. My mom thought it was just a problem with my shoes so she bought me a new pair, but I ended up twisting my foot the first day I wore them. To this day, I still hate dancing because now since I twisted my foot there is a small bone that sticks out, and whenever I touch it or put pressure on it, it hurts. I was only ten when I twisted it and the pain has been there for a long time. Now I basically have gotten used to the pain, but if I get rid of it and it heals I won’t feel as comfortable as I was with the pain. I used to like dancing before I twisted it but now I just have trauma that I might twist it again. I have a hard time walking while shopping with my family but I have to bear with it. For now I have learned how to be more careful while walking.

I Fell Down an Escalator Once I was nine and I was walking down the escalator and I tripped on my umbrella and boots and I somersaulted down six flights of stairs. I was embarrassed from the people staring at me and I ended up having a bruise on the back of my head.

The escalator was hard and spiky and painful but I was lucky enough to not start bleeding. I felt a little dizzy and had a headache after but it was gone after a few moments. It was a terrible experience. I didn’t go to the doctor to get it checked out but instead let it heal for two weeks. I learned to walk slowly and carefully and 19

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to not daydream in the middle of walking down the stairs. It felt like I was emotionless during that time. I didn’t cry but was tearing up. I learned after that that no matter how painful it is I have to hold it in because a little pain is nothing compared to people in war or in poverty who are suffering more than me.

Beck Snake-O-Rama Once, when I was at the aquarium, I saw a man with a snake larger than me!

He said to me, “Ya wanna pet it?” I did and the snake licked my nose! It felt very scary. Then I went home and did something. I forget what because it was so many years ago.

Get Sniped, Bro Once upon a time there was a kid who shot a sniper! He hit the target clean off. But then the bullet ricocheted and hit everybody in the Presidential Office.

The only person who was in there was Donald Rump.

The Mines I went to Barkerville and saw lots of cows and poop. The people there are big in agriculture and farming. There was some gold and dynamite in a river cave.

No one noticed but me because everyone else was playing Pokémon Go. It was really cringey. Then I took a little gold and went home. I was happy that I went there.

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Why You Always Lyi n '

Cad en Pokémon Go I started playing Pokémon Go two days after it came out, and I got Squirtle as soon as I started. I got to level 5 on the first day. The first Poké Stop I went to was so close to my house that I didn’t have to walk at all to use it. I didn’t use any money to get anything in the game. I uninstalled it on September 3, 2016, and my level was 32 and my highest Pokémon had 1942 combat power and was Blastoise. I was about to reinstall it but I changed my mind because I probably won’t play and it takes up too much space.

The Rock I got hit by a big rock that was rolling downhill at a camp. It hit me in the ankle and in the head. One of my friends also got hit by it. At the time, I had been outside sleeping on a mat and a sleeping bag instead of being in a cabin, because at that camp once every week everyone in the cabin goes somewhere and sleeps outside without any shelter. Also, one of my friends accidentally made the rock come down.

The Piece of Wood When I was about three to five years old, I got hit by a very sharp piece of wood. It hit me on the forehead and hit me pretty quickly. I started bleeding like crazy. My mom was about to bring me to the hospital, but there was a police car at the bottom of the apartment building and the officer offered to bring us to the hospital. So I got to the hospital in a police car instead of a car or an ambulance. They put something on my forehead that stopped most of the blood, but it hurt really badly when they put it on. I hope that doesn’t happen to me again.

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Why You Always Lyi n '

M on i qu e

Deep Cove

I have seen a neon jellyfish before.

Pets

I have dead pets in my garden.

Camping

I have been camping before.

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Why You Always Lyi n '

Alonso Caterpillar When I was four, I found a caterpillar. I put him in a jar and named him Johnny.

He was ten centimetres long and had green and yellow fuzz. My brother Damian and I found him together when he was seven and I was four. The jar that I put him in was a pickle jar that still smelled liked pickles. I found him on the stairs. The reason I named him Johnny was because that was the first name that popped into my head.

Chihuahua I got a chihuahua when I was three and I had it for a very long time. My chihuahua was a she, and she was blond and very small. Her name was Lucie.

My mom would pay our neighbours to walk her whenever we couldn’t. She was very playful and she was three. It was nice while we had her, until she got hit by a car.

Cats I have two cats. One is all black and the other is orange and white. The orange and white cat’s name is K.D. (like Kraft Dinner) and is four years old, and the all-black one is named Coco. Coco is super playful and K.D. is lazy and always tired. K.D. sleeps with me and Coco just sleeps wherever he wants to. They both eat no-name brand food and both drink water.

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Why You Always Lyi n '

Xan d er Kraft Dinner Once upon a time, there was a boy named Xander and he had a cat named Kraft Dinner. Xander spent $50 on Kraft Dinner at the pet store. He was all white and puny-wuny. He was very calm and not wide awake, and he barely got food.

Xander brought Kraft Dinner home on a Sunday. When Kraft Dinner walked in the house, he smelled some Kraft Dinner. He tried jumping on the stove and eating Xander’s Kraft Dinner. Kraft Dinner took about seven attempts to get on the stove. When he got on the stove, he started eating all Xander’s Kraft Dinner.

After a year, Kraft Dinner began to eat a lot more food. A month later, Kraft Dinner had babies, and that’s when we found out Kraft Dinner was a girl. So we named Kraft Dinner Kattie. She had about 16 baby kittens. We didn’t name them until they were seven years old.

Pizza in the Wii It was a dark, stormy day when my mom bought pizza! My brother grabbed the last piece of pepperoni pizza because he thought it was a video game disk. He shoved it into the Wii slot and slaughtered the Wii! The day after, it was all black and white and glitchy!

My favourite game used to be Marble Mania—where all the balls go WHEE! all around the course—and also Mario Kart 8 and Splatoon and Mario Kart 64.

When I could play, I played every day, seven hours at day at home, until The Incident. On the day of The Incident, I punched my brother really hard. He fell on the ground. I dragged him onto his bed. After The Incident, so I could play video games again, I got a Game Cube and a Nintendo 64 and PS3, WiiV, another Wii, a PSP and that’s it!

Dr. Big Toe I have a shooter. I named it Dr. Big Toe. I went to America with my Dr. Big Toe. I shot a pineapple, a deer and a lot of beavers. I shot it in Seattle at a chicken farm. It took one hour to drive there. When I shot the deer, we dragged it to the campfire and cooked it on a spit.

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Why You Always Lyi n '

Sogan d

22-Kilometre Hike One day my auntie picked me up from my house and we drove off to a hiking place. During the 22-kilometre hike there were so many mosquitoes. Halfway there, I wanted to stop and go back but I saw snow so I started running toward the snow. The snow was up a rocky hill, so I climbed to it. There was a bike pathway and a people pathway, and the people pathway had SO MANY flowers along it. When I was coming back I was faster than my sister, so I was at the car before her. Then I heard my sister scream SO LOUD that I though she saw a bear, but there wasn’t a bear. A stick had hit her in the face.

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Why You Always Lyi n '

Halloween and Gymnastics Days It is a rainy day and it is Halloween. The pros and cons of Halloween are I that I can’t go trick or treating, but I am also really happy because I got $50 for Halloween candy. But I didn’t use the money for candy. Every year on Halloween I can’t go trick or treating because Halloween seems to always be on a Monday, Tuesday or Friday. That’s when I have gymnastics. IT’S BEEN LIKE THAT FOR THREE YEARS. I woke up this morning praying that it was any day except for Monday, Tuesday or Friday, but when I looked on my phone and it was Monday that ruined my day because it is Halloween and I have gymnastics. I already knew I couldn’t go trick or treating because my dad doesn’t want me to skip gymnastics. I’m gonna pray to God that Halloween is NOT on a gymnastics day next year.

A Goose Bit My Dog’s Foot Ahhh, a goose bit my dog’s foot and my dog couldn’t walk for a day! One day my mom picked me up from a FIFA game and she brought my dog, Milo.

When we were almost at my house there was a goose, and my dog likes to chase birds a lot so he went after it. And then the goose chased my dog and bit his foot. My dog started crying, so I picked him up. While I was holding him he was crying so much that everybody was looking at me. When I got home, I put my dog down and he couldn’t walk, so I did some research to try to heal his foot but there was NOTHING! I waited until the next day to see if it was still hurting, and it wasn’t. Yay!

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Why You Always Lyi n '

C.F. Broken Guitar My whole family was downstairs in the living room talking and watching TV. My brother and I were talking and playing around. Somebody forgot to put the guitar back, so it was just lying on the sofa. My brother and I were playing around near the sofa when I somehow tripped. While I was falling, I pulled my brother down with me. We ended up breaking the guitar into two sections.

We had a really loud argument. I stormed off upstairs. Twenty minutes later, the police came. My oldest brother said they were coming for me since I was so loud. I was scared for a moment there. Turns out, they were there to arrest someone across the street.

Snow Day It was winter a few years ago. There was snow almost everywhere. The snow was kind of dirt brown, basically dirty. It was winter break, so we had no school. My family decided to go play around in the snow. My brothers wanted to see if they could play hockey somewhere nearby. They left me with a hockey stick. I got bored so I tried hitting a tree branch for fun. The branch broke off and the snow fell down. I got drenched in snow. My mom yelled at my brothers for not looking after me.

Swim Accident It happened maybe a year ago, during May or June. I was at swimming lessons.

I met somebody new there. I remember she also went to Strathcona. Most of the time after swimming lessons she would invite me to go play with her at the kiddie pool. One day, we were playing with this swimming board. I told her to flip me over. Once she did, I started panicking. I accidentally breathed in water. My lungs were burning. Once I got up, I promised myself to not do that again. It was a stupid thing to do.

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Wh i ch Sto ry Was th e Li e?

Alicia: Peanuts Alonso: Cats Anita: Famous Cousins Beck: Get Sniped, Bro Caden: Pokemon Go Candyce: Broken Arm C.F.: Snow Day Colton: Mount Baker Eva: Simpsons J.B.: Small Spaces Lucia: Harry Potter Mandy: I Fell off a Tree Once Max: Tag Fall Monique: Camping Nikki: The Sleepover Sabrina: Two Birthdays Sogand: A Goose Bit My Dog’s Foot Teo: Scorpion Tetsu: I’ve Broken a Bone Xander: Dr. Big Toe