Hello to December, er, ggoodbye oodb oo dbye dby ye tto o 20 22018! 2018 018! 1188! Another year is almost lm mo ostt rready ost eady ea eady dy tto o file le kss. F oorr m hiss in the history books. For mee th this hatt tthe h he is the time of yearr th that aggravation and aat attitude tttiituude de sstart taart rt blle tto o rride idee id from not being able much if any at all.. P Parked arrke ked Motorcycle Syndrome rome om me is is a real thing, regrettably. ettta tabl bly. y. Generally it is Melanie ellaani nie that catches the brunt of that type of thing, and for that I apologize in advance, because I aam m sure it will get worse orse or se oover veer the next few months. th ths. hs. s It It usually does, and th this hiiss iiss not her first time aaround rooun und with this, and she kknows nows no ws what she signed up for, but the pre-emptive apology still holds. At least the bike shows and swap meets are right around the corner so that we can get back with groups of bikers and enjoy some good times and laughs. We have been trying to get those and any other events in 2019 on the FREE events listing for next year, so if your events are not on the list, email them to Vernon@thunderroadsiowa. com. People don’t know what is going on if it is not listed or advertised anywhere. Last month we had another opinion editorial submission from a cat called the Unknown Biker. With his past submissions, it is pretty clear what world this guy lives in, and he always offers a very well written and communicated point and does so with a high degree of respect. His November submission dealt with his thoughts on the topic of motorcycle profiling by law enforcement. Well, this month you can see another opinion editorial submission by the Biker Cop. This rebuttal comes from a dedicated law enforcement officer with almost two decades of being blue, and more years of being a rider. If you did not read the November article, I would suggest you go back and check that out, and then check out this rebuttal in the December issue. Take a moment to soak in both points of view, and to try to understand what each man is trying to communicate. If you can do that, and look at either point, then you are the
ty type ype ooff ppe people eop opllee tthat hat th ha tthe he wo w world or needs at this ppoint poin po oin int in in ttime. im me. We We nneed e to recognize ee that th hat at oother theerr ppeople th eopl eo pem pl may have ideas that tha th hat at aare re ddifferent re iffffeere ren than our own, aand an nd th hat a ttheir heir he ir ideas are as that iimportant im impo mppoort rtan ant ttoo them as your iideas id deeaas ar aare re tto you. We need to o bbee ab bl to logically and able iintellectually in nte tell llec ec discuss our ddi ou our differences, if and no not o necessarily change the other persons mind, but at least respect th there her ere may may be a difference ma of oopinion pini pi nion on on the matter andd mo an m move ove ve on. I am iin incr incredibly ncr cred ed dib bllyy proud to have tw two wo bi bbikers ike ker that may havvee vvast have ha ast differences of as opinion on a matter that have communicated their opinions in a public forum and not have any tantrums or fits of rage. Maybe the rest of the country needs to take a cue from the biker world on how to interact with others of different opinions. I know that it does not always happen this way, but it should be the goal for dealing with differences. Be a biker, be educated, be respectful, and be able to sit and have a beer with people with differing views. We would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas! We hope you have a great and safe holiday season and that Santa is good to you this year! As we close out 2018, thank you to all of our loyal readers, loyal supporters, and loyal friends. Without all of you we could not keep this thing going. January will bring about our 10th year of print, and for that we are grateful. Take care one and all, be safe. From the Schwarte Clan of Kimballton: Vernon, Melanie, Sabin, Soren, and Violet. Quote of the Month: “I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center.” Kurt Vonnegutt
On the Cover This month’s cover features a 1938 Knucklehead owned by longtime Thunder Roads contributor Nate Ullrich. Nate picked it up this past summer, and on his way home he stopped at his friend Harlan’s place near Tipton, Iowa to show off his new 80 year old toy. While the two discussed various Knuckle stories, Nate snapped some photos of it sitting in front of Harlan’s shop. Nate has an eye for cool locations like this with old bikes, and this particular image is available as a limited edition poster in his online store at Natanic.com. 4 - TRMI DECEMBER 2018
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Have you ever been frustrated over a communication breakdown when you’re doing everything you can to get a message across and it’s just not happening? I had one of those times last week with Mark. We hopped into the car to head to one of the grandkids’ concerts but no sooner had we pulled onto the street than I heard an odd noise coming from the front of the car. “Hey,” I said, “What’s that funny noise?” Mark glanced over at me. “What noise?” “That weird whoosha-whoosha sound,” I replied. He shook his head. “Well,” I said, “it’s really more of a whumpawhumpa sound. Like this –“ and I began to cluck with my tongue while humming along with the clucking. I could tell he was trying not to laugh as he shook his head. “Nope. Still don’t hear anything”, he said. At that point, I gave up trying to make the sound for him. We just weren’t speaking the same language. On the other hand, I’ve also seen awesome communication with no words spoken at all. Between our sons and our son-in-law, we have three big boys in our family – construction worker, former military, and weapons master; all motorcycle or ATV riders, hunters and fishermen; all well able of taking care of business. But I’ve seen their responses when they are invited to their little daughters’ tea parties. They carefully lower themselves to the level of the miniature tea table without knocking everything over, pick up miniscule tea cups and sip pretend tea. Our boys scrunch themselves down to fit into the tiny, confined world that is all their little girls can relate to right now. It’s one way to communicate to their girls that they’re loved. Like our little grand-daughters and their fathers, Adam and Eve enjoyed great communication and friendship with God - right up to the time they chose to sin. From that time on, Adam and Eve’s recorded communication to God consisted of them sullenly lying to God, blaming their sin on each other, and attempting to hide their actions. Their sin broke that communication link and so focused their minds on themselves that they were no longer able to hear directly from God. But God had a plan. He sent his son, Jesus, born as a human baby, but still fully God. I really don’t have a big enough mind to understand how Jesus could be both God and human at the same time, but I do catch glimpses of God’s heart when I think about our sons’ responses to their little girls. Even on the floor, surrounded by pink plastic furniture, our boys still had all their strength. They just weren’t displaying it. And their girls really had no comprehension of their dads’ strength or abilities anyway. They just knew they had a daddy who cared enough to spend time with them. As Baby Jesus in the manger, God scrunched himself down onto the floor with us humans, except he didn’t just sip pretend tea. He submitted himself to the harsh reality of 6 - TRMI DECEMBER 2018
being a man. Poverty? Yep. Betrayed by friends? Check. Dissed by society? You betcha. He went through all that to re-establish our communication with God. We needed to know that he understands our miseries and can speak our language. Know he loves us. This is the message he wants to communicate to anyone who is willing to admit their need for a savior and come to him for forgiveness. However, there’s more to this message that must be communicated. Although Jesus still had all his God-power while he was here on earth, he only used it to help others. He didn’t even rescue himself from being killed as a debtpayment for the bill of sin that he didn’t run up. Those were your sins. My sins. But it won’t be like that forever. When our time on this earth is up, so is our opportunity to meet the God who came down to sit on the floor with us and offer us love. If we have not yet humbled ourselves and accepted Jesus’ sacrifice for the forgiveness of our sin debt, we will instead be met by the standing-up God who will take care of business. Because you see, for anyone who has not accepted Jesus’ debt payment on their behalf, their debt will still be owed. It’s time to lay aside pride and the mistaken thought that we can pay this debt on our own because, honestly, if we could ever be good enough on our own there would have been no point in the perfect son of God dying in our place. This Christmas, won’t you accept the greatest gift that you could never, ever purchase for yourself – a restored relationship with God through Christ Jesus? You will never outgrow this gift; it will never fade or rust; and the more you share it with others, the more you will have for yourself. Blessings - Karla Mark and Karla Cornick are Area Reps with the Christian Motorcyclists Association. Find out more about CMA and God’s plan for you at www.cmausa.org
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TRMI DECEMBER 2018 - 9
The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments throughout Iowa that sponsor the magazine. You can pick up your copy here every month. Let them know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa Biker Friendly Business Listing and become a part of the network, please email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Biker Accessories Coolbikerstuff @ The Old Bait Shop 2103 Okoboji Ave MILFORD, Iowa 51351 712.338.888 & 214.914.4555 Crispy’s Biker Apparel Cedar Rapids, Iowa Find Us On Facebook 319-241-0916
Churches Least of Saints Ministry 1305 E 10th Street S Newton, Iowa 641-521-0156 Leastofsaintsministry.com
Dealers
Indian Motorcycle of Des Moines 1500 E Army Post Road Des Moines, Iowa 50315 515-256-9062 Indianmotorcycleofdesmoines.com
Celebrations DJ & Karaoke Services Newton, IA 641-521-8036 Any Occasion /Rally or Event EmCee Facebook/Ray Johansen(Celebrations) Specializing in Weddings & Receptions
Fore Seasons Golf Bar 6232 HWY S-74 South Newton, Iowa 50208 641-792-1246 Open to the Public 7 Days a Week
Indian Motorcycle of Mason City Mason City Powersports 12499 265th Street Mason City 641-423-3181 Masoncitypowersportsinc.com
National Motorcycle Museum 102 Chamber Drive Anamosa, Iowa 52205 319-462-3925 Nationalmcmuseum.org
Grinnell Eagles Club 616 4th Avenue Grinnell, Iowa 50112 Open 7 Days a Week Check Us on Facebook
Loess Hills Harley-Davidson 57408 190th Street Pacific Junction IA 51561 712-800-3500 loesshillshd.com
Okoboji Classic Cars Museum and Restoration Shop 810 Jeppeson Road West Okoboji, Iowa 51351 712-332-8029
Grinnell Pub 909 State Street Grinnell, Iowa 50112 641-260-8003 Grinpub@aol.com
Metro Harley-Davidson 2415 Westdale Drive SW Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 319-362-9496 www.metro-motorsports.com Nishna Valley Cycle HONDA – YAMAHA – KTM Atlantic, Iowa 50022 1-888-577-6406 www.nishnavalleycycle.com Okoboji Harley-Davidson 1005 Eastview Avenue Okoboji IA, 51355 712-332-7700 www.erniesharley.com Okoboji Leasing Company Looking for 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s Vintage Bikes to Buy! Contact Jim Wilcox 515-320-6416
Baxter Cycle 311 4th Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2351 www.baxtercycle.com
Route 65 Harley-Davidson 1300 S Jefferson Way Indianola, Iowa 50125 515.962.2160 www.route65hd.net
Big Barn Harley-Davidson 81 NW 49th Place Des Moines, Iowa 50313 515-265-4444 www.bigbarnhd.net
Storm Lake Honda 3040 Expansion Blvd Storm Lake, Iowa 50588 StormLakeHonda.com 712-732-2460
Carroll Cycle Center 1327 Plaza Dr Carroll, Iowa 712-792-1610 www.carrollcycle.com
Uptown Motors Sales, Inc 310 Cleveland St Muscatine, IA 52761 563-263-2944 www.uptownmotorsales.com
Edwards Motorsports and RV’s 1010 34th Avenue Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 712-366-8400
Zylstra Harley-Davidson 1930 E 13th Street Ames, Iowa 50010 515-232-6223 zylstrahd.com
fullthrottleia.com or edwardsrvs.com
Ernie’s Harley-Davidson 2701 Hwy 18 East Algona, IA 50511 515-295-7951 www.erniesharley.com
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Entertainment Book Em Dano’s 33 S Main Street Denison, Iowa 51442 712-263-9818Mon-Sat 4-2 Dancers Nightly 5-1:30
(Popular Poker & Fun Run Locations)
Goozman’s Westside Bar & Grill 1019 7th St Harlan, Iowa 712-755-2259 Goozman’s Westside on Facebook
American Legion Post 46 1301 S 6th Street Marshalltown, Iowa50158 641-752-3612 Open to the Public 7 Days a Week
Haverhill Social Club 202 1st Street Haverhill, Iowa 50120 641-475-3321 Tues-Sat 10-2, Sun 12-12
American Legion Post 111 1101 W 4th Street S Newton 641-792-3353 Open to the Public 7 Days a Week Newtonamericanlegion111.org
Hog Stop BBQ 2327 S. 24th Street Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 712-EAT-BBQS Hog Stop BBQ on Facebook
Barney’s 203 S Mill Street Wadena, Iowa 52169 563-774-2525 Barney’s Wadena on Facebook
Iowa Legendary Rye 707 N Main Street Carroll, Iowa 51401 Iowalegendaryrye.com
Food and Drink
Calvin Rockett Bar & Grill 2013 South Center Street Marshalltown, Iowa 50158 641-328-1033 Open 7 Days a Week 11 – Close Catfish Charlie’s On the Mississippi River 1630 E. 16th Street Dubuque, IA 52001 (563)582-8600 www.CatfishCharliesDubuque.com Desperados 105 E 5th Street Atlantic 712-243-7087 Home of Cold Beer, Good Times, Pizza & Wings Firehouse Bar 1211 5th Street Downtown Sioux City, IA 712-224-1020 Open Daily at 12:00 Flat Tire Lounge 304 S Madison Madrid 515-795-4174 Outdoor Patios – Happy Hour 3-9 Flat Tire Lounge on Facebook
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J.R. Willie’s Gateway to the Beautiful Hill Country Colesburg, IA 563-856-5095 Open Daily Mon-Sun 11AM Home of the Willie Whopper Just 1 More 515-570-4206 641-757-0159 309 Railway Jamaica, Iowa 50128 KC’s Tavern 120 N Main Street Bridgewater, Iowa 50837 Mon-Fri 4:30-Close, Sat-Sun 1-Close Find Us on FB 641-369-2017 Knickers Saloon 2186 Central Avenue Dubuque, Iowa 52001 563-557-0887 365 Days a Year Knickers Saloon on Facebook Lily Jack Saloon 301 Ash Street Castana, Iowa 51010 712-353-6402 7 Days a Week @ 2;00
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Lynn’s On Merle Hay 6014 NW 59th Ct Johnston, Iowa 50131 515-270-9806 Find us on Facebook!
Roadhouse 105 Washington Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2272 Home of the Marne Burger
The Buck Snort 419 Sharp Street Glenwood, Iowa 51534 712-520-6454 Buck Snort Glenwood on Facebook
Whatcha Smokin? BBQ+Brew 403 Iowa Avenue Luther, Iowa 50152 515-257-7490 Tuesday-Sunday
McCanns Tap NE 14th & 54th Des Moines, Iowa 50313 Bike Parking M-F 2:00 Sat & Sun 11:00
Ruby’s Pub and Grill 114 NE 2nd Street Stuart NEWLY REMODELED Full Kitchen & Bar Check us out on Facebook
The Buck Snort 113 4th Street Neola, Iowa 51559 712-485-9090 The Buck Snort on Facebook
Wilson’s Tap and Recreation 1008 Story Street Boone, Iowa 50036/ 515-433-1395
Mi Casa Family Restaurant 512 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-2258 Enjoy Drinks at the Full Bar!
Rumors Bar & Grill 400 F Ave Cedar Rapids, IA Live Music & Food 319-286-0806
The Buck Snort Neb City 715 1st Corso Nebraska City, NE 68410 402-713-5169 Buck Snort Neb City on Facebook
Midway Tavern 206 1st Street Soldier, Iowa 712-884-2230 www.midwaytavernsoldier.com
Sambetti’s Bar and Grill 1430 2nd Avenue Des Moines, Iowa 50314 515-245-9780 Mon-Sat 11a-2a, Sun 11a-7p
The Buck Snort Oakland 310 Dr Van Zee Road Oakland, Iowa 51560 712-355-5315 The Buck Snort Oakland on FB
Montgomery Street Pub 207 East Montgomery Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-2165
Sandbar 103 North Noyes Street Mondamin, Iowa 51557 712-646-2300 Facebook Sandar Mondamin
The Buck Snort Red Oak 322 E Coolbaugh Street Red Oak, Iowa 51566 712-357-1701 The Buck Snort Red Oak on Facebook
Scooters on Broadway 475 NE Broadway Des Moines, Iowa 515-288-1053 scootersonbroadway@hotmail.com
The Exchange 171 S Elm Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-343-2609 Lang’s Pizza, Cold Beer, Sports
Old Timer Tavern 401 S Center Street Marshalltown Mon-Sat 6am-2am, Sun 12pm-2am Outdoor Patio-Live Entertainment 641-753-9854 and Facebook
Sidetracked 206 West Union Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-8534
The Lounge 1005 Chatburn Ave Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-5050 The Lounge Harlan Iowa on Facebook
Papa Joe’s 117 South 6th Street Missouri Valley, Iowa 51555 712-642-9015
Sportsman Bar & Grill 103 1st Street Pisgah, Iowa 51564 712-456-2222 FOOD, FUEL, FUN
Mudders in Minburn Coldest Beer in Dallas County Bar Food-Wings-Pizza-ETC 515-897-9223 Open M-Sun 11AM Facebook Mudders
Pearl Street Social Club 110 Pearl Street SW Shellsburg, Iowa 52332 319-436-7100 Find Us On Facebook!
The Place2B! 116 N. Federal Ave Mason City, IA 50401 M-F 3p-2a S-S 2p-2a Find Us On Facebook
Stumpy’s Bar & Grill 423 Main Street Duncombe, Iowa 50532 515-543-4222 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill on Facebook
Pines Steakhouse Oinkers Lounge & Grill
1500 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-243-3606 M-F 11AM-, S-S 4PM-
ose Polk City Pub 217 W Broadway Polk City, Iowa 50226 515-984-9388 Open @ 11:00AM / Closed Mon. Red Oak Tap 419 E. Reed Red Oak, Iowa 51566 712-623-4788 Riverside Tavern 450 E Main St Lehigh, Iowa 50557 515-359-9998 Email:riversidetap@gmail.com
Suds –N- Jugs Bar & Grill 807 Iowa Avenue Onawa, Iowa 51040 712-433-4880 Nightly Food Specials Sugar’s Diner & Lounge 2725 E Kanesville Blvd Council Bluffs, Iowa 712-322-3600 Check us out on Facebook T.J.’s Pourhouse 100 E. Washington Street Exira, Iowa 50076 712-268-2353 Open M-SAT.@11, SUN.@ NOON
The Yankee Clipper 312 SW Maple St Ankeny, Ia 50023 515-964-9484 yankeeclipperbar.com
2A Firearms Training Training to Protect Your 2nd Amendment Rights 641-439-6660 Craig.2aft@gmail.com JLM Shooters Supply 6931 Douglas Avenue Urbandale, Iowa 50322 jlmgunshop@gmail.com 515-331-1577
Insurance & Financial Farm Bureau Financial Services 208 Faith Ave Underwood, IA 51576 Shane.baker@fbfs.com 712-310-7475 or 402-379-3237 O’Malley Wealth Mgmt. 5623 NW 86th Street Suite 400 Johnston, Iowa 50131 515-490-0930 State Farm Clark Ahrenholtz, Agent NMLS# 1679997 2114 12th Street Harlan, Iowa 712-755-5724 Clark.ahrenholtz.jb69@statefarm.com
Jewelry
Thirsty’s on 3rd 2202 W 3rd, Davenport 563-424-1143 Follow Us on Facebook Daily Thirst Quenching Deals
Bill’s Jewelry Shop 903 Main Street Grinnell, Iowa 50112 641-236-1008 Rings Checked FREE!
Tobey Jacks Mineola Steak House Mineola, Iowa 712-526-2078 Open 7 Days a Week Check Us Out on Facebook
Legal
Vic’s Main Tap 304 Broadway Audubon, Iowa 50025 712-563-2122 Opens Sun-Fri 2:30, Sat 9:30
The Buck Snort Restaurant & Sports Bar 25 Scott Street Council Bluffs, Iowa 51503 712-328-2825 TheBuckSnortrestaurantandsportsbaronFB
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Guns and Ammo
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Hupy and Abraham sc, pc Lawyers for Bikers 800.800.5678 Hupy.com TheBikerLawyers.com The Biker Lawyers, P.C. Riding & Defending Your Rights for Over 30 Years 877-209-9452 Walker, Billingsley & Bair 208 N. 2nd Ave. West Newton, Iowa 50208 Corey@WalkLaw.com 641-792-3595
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Photo and Art Ullrich Photography PO Box 1842 Clinton, Iowa 52733 563-243-8715 www.natanic.com
Services BCS Computers 100 Industrial Road Guthrie Center, Iowa 50115 641-747-3344 www.brubakercomputer.com Jason Roberts, LLC Haul It, Dig It, Doze It Code931993@yahoo.com 641-740-1411 Southwest Iowa Sandblasting Mike Magers 65162 Oxford Rd Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-249-3995
Shops & Fabricators Bent Wrench Cycles 911 7th Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-235-2453 Bent Wrench Cycles on Facebook Bigfuuts Paint & Repair Baxter, IA 515-577-6730 Custom Paint & Fabrication After Hours Service & Parts Stereos-Electrical-Repairs Butterfield’s M.C. Parts 8025 Blondo Street Omaha, NE 68134 402-391-3768 Chuck’s Cycle Service and Repair S&S and Drag Specialties Dealer 714 East 7th Street Washington, Iowa52353 319-461-5278 Creative Concepts Collision 422 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712.755.2231 Cycle Clinic 2209 ML King Pkwy Des Moines, Iowa 50314 cycleclinicdm.com 515-288-6954
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F & J Racing 701 N 3rd Ave Marshalltown, Iowa 50158 641-752-8651 www.fandjracing.com Indian Phil’s 2135 S. Ankeny Blvd Ankeny, Iowa 50023 indianphill@yahoo.com 515-795-6158 Mean Machine Cycle Parts Elkhart, Iowa 50073 Stereos, Bars, LED Lights, Air Ride Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat 9-12 515-367-7336 Motorcycle Medic 3176 Highway 30 Woodbine, Iowa 51579 712-647-2818 Open Tues-Sat Noon-6PM
Tattoos
Trailers
Lucky Gal Tattoo & Piercing 515-257-7940 3 Locations Des Moines * Ankeny www.luckygaltattoo.com
4 Seasons Trailer & Equipment 187 Highway 6 Grinnell, Iowa 50112 641-990-8732 www.4seasonsgrinnell.com
Tires
Lacaeyse Trailer Sales 4192 HWY 146 Grinnell Trailers & Truck Accessories 641-990-2674 www.lacaeysetrailers.com
Sandbothe Firestone 1106 Main Street Griswold, Iowa 51535 712-778-2223 Sandbothe Firestone on Facebook
Nelson Machine & Forge General Machining, Ornamental Iron, Weld/Fab 70 Washington Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2220
To buy ad space for your business or service in our directory, give us call at 712-249-5630 or email vernon@ thunderroadsiowa.com
Pike Run Services 320 Main Nichols, Iowa 52766 Shop 319-723-4244 Cell 319-330-4541 Road Rage BikeWorks 401 High Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-307-6111 Road Rage BikeWorks on Facebook SS Collision, Cycle Works & Graphics 2902 11th Ave SW Spencer, Iowa 51301 712-262-3959 www.sscollision.com Steffens Cycle Shop LLC 1311 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-243-3076 Mon-Fri 9-5, Sat 9-12 or Call The Vic Shop DeSoto, Iowa 515-339-4313 Facebook.com/TheVicShop VICTORY ONLY Thunder Road Cycles 4106 Rockingham Rd Davenport, Iowa 52802 563-323-3172 Thunder Road Cycles on Facebook Weeks Manufacturing & Powdercoating 2235 400th Street Walnut, Iowa 51577 402-651-6977 weeksmanufacturing@gmail.com
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r
m Let’s just start with a little background here. I would consider myself a “Biker”. I’m one of these guys that doesn’t winterize my bike, you never know when you might get nice day in December (even in Iowa). I currently own multiple motorcycles and ride every chance I get! I absolutely love being on 2 wheels. I am a proud supporter of TRMI and am thankful that this informative publication exists. That being said, I was reading the November issue and came across an interesting article on profiling of bikers by law enforcement. Now, let’s go back to my opening sentence on background. I am also police officer. I’ve been in law enforcement for a little over 18 years and am currently a Sergeant on a department here in Iowa.
and political rallies. Just about anytime there is an event where the number of people increases, law enforcement steps up their presence for the safety of everyone involved. Not to mention, the residents of the areas where these events are being held. I would be willing to bet money that if there wasn’t increased law enforcement, the people around those areas would be wondering where the cops were and I’m sure they would let their local law enforcement know about their frustration. No, the irony of this article does not escape me. Just as the author of the other article didn’t want to fall into the stereotype of a biker by cops, this cop doesn’t want fall into the stereotype of a profiling cop.
I would like to start off by saying that as a rider, I have received “the look” from cops when I’ve been enjoying a nice ride. So, I’m NOT going to sit here and deny that some cops look at bikers differently than so-called “normal” motorists.
I definitely want to acknowledge the second to last paragraph of the article in the November issue. The author stated, “we don’t need to be ‘’shaped” into anyone’s predisposed notion of who we are or who we should be.” I agree 100 percent!
In that article in the November issue, the author made reference to “a good amount of (excessive?) law enforcement presence” at the Freedom Rally in Algona. I have not been able to make that rally and do plan to do so some point but, I have attended a number of other rallies (and had a damn good time) in this state and others. And yes, there has been increased law enforcement presence. If you attend any large gathering across the state, you will notice increased law enforcement. The state fair is a perfect example, along with RAGBRAI, sporting events, concerts, Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook
I, myself, try to make it a point to talk to other bikers about their bikes, their travels and any other topic that would happen to come up. I do this both in and out of uniform and I don’t care if you’re a weekend rider or a member of a club. If you ride, you’re alright in my book! And to “The Unknown Biker”, if our paths should cross, I’d like to shake your hand and buy you a beer. Keep it rubber side down and enjoy the ride, brothers!!! Biker Cop
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TRMI DECEMBER 2018 - 13
By Mr. Bo Jangles My old Harley ran best on the Iowa backroads. I rolled over the old blacktops with no stripes or reflector poles, that curved past the hill country farms. Smooth corners and hills, through the corn and bean fields, and oak hillsides, and cottonwood and walnut draws. I crossed a one-lane, wood-planked, rusty iron bridge over a small treelined creek, the loose planks thumping under the sixteen inch rear tire. I stopped in the middle of the bridge, parked the Shovelhead, and walked to the rail. The creek flowed around snags and into bank undercuts, then disappeared around the bend. Walnut trees had dropped nuts along the banks, and an old mulberry tree leaned over the creek, cardinals and blue jays flew from branch to branch. I closed my eyes and took in a slow breath, and recalled the times that I had stood in this exact spot, many years ago. I had always wanted to come back to this country, where I had grown up in, and I had left long ago. Now, my life had slowed, and there was time to do things just like this, things that I had always thought about doing, but never had the time.
that was never my intention. I had always wanted to apologize to her. I had always wanted to tell her what she meant to me, and that as I moved through my life, I felt her vision of us would have worked out. I didn’t want to check out of this world without her knowing that. I just stayed idling at the intersection, wondering if I should go back to town, or, go past Amy’s. The three-finger coil spring clutch was gently tugging at the final drive, urging a decision. A few more moments passed, then I slowly let out the clutch lever, and fate leaned the Harley’s forks to the left.
Topping the hill, I looked down on the farm. The two-story wood farmhouse and barn were as I remembered. I noticed the porch’s green hanging swing, that Amy and I would sit on and watch fire-flies at dusk. The loft barn was slightly leaning, as one of the old block and mortar foundation’s corners had started to crumble. The rooster wind vane was still rusted to the east. There was a new machine shed and the trees had grown. A great bur oak and weeping willow now shaded the front yard. The flower beds and garden were neat and wellStarting the Shovel, I continued on. I remembered kept, showing the care that someone had put into their place, motorcycling down this same old road, forty some years ago. and two Orpington hens were pecking under the oak. I knew the curves, the old barns, the apple orchards, the cool, shaded pond-filled hollows with trees meeting over the road. Funny how your mind plays on you, when you find yourself Now though, I drove at thirty-five, instead of sixty-five, like I somewhere that you used to know so well, and your thoughts did back then, taking in the smell of the country air, the color of it over the years freeze time. And how that long-ago mental of the corn, and the feel of the warm, humid air. Meeting an image melts into what now lays in front of you. For a few seconds, or minutes, your mind, or time, stands still, until you occasional farm truck or tractor, I would always wave back. can wrap yourself around the reality that yes, you are here. The Shovelhead’s deep raspy growl seemed to melt into the You are really here this time. corn fields and hardwood creek valleys. The engine’s solidmount vibration came through the seat, pegs and grips, and There was a 1980 something farm pickup parked off the side blurred the mirrors. The swingarm Lowrider rode firm and of the road in the gravel driveway, with a girl sitting on the took force to lean it into the corners. I kept my knees close to tailgate. Her tan, lean legs, from her frayed cutoffs to her work the rockers, gaging the engine’s temperature. It all seemed boots, were swinging by the Iowa plate. There was a handto be a perfect fit to me, and all in the world was good. It was painted sign that read “Fresh Picked Sweet Corn”, next to a bushel basket of ears of corn. A Siamese farm cat and an old even better than I had remembered it. yellow lab were in the truck’s bed next to her. I leaned into a curve, with corn leaves reaching out into the road. Straightening out, I saw the Tee ahead. I downshifted It all made for a scene that paints in your mind, when you the four speed to first with solid clunks and stopped, no stop close your eyes and picture old-time, rural America. signs in any direction. To the right was the five miles to town. I had figured that Amy’s folks were gone, and that she had To the left, a half mile down, was Amy’s folks’ farm. Also down probably long ago left the difficult country life and melted into a city somewhere, and that the farm had changed hands. that road, lay a task undone. As I got closer though, the girl began to look familiar. “Now Many years had come and gone since my time spent with wouldn’t it be something if that was Amy?” I thought to myself, Amy, when the paths of our lives had come together, and but I had learned long ago that things like that didn’t really seemed to stretch out before us, like the endless blacktop happen. road that I was now on. But those years hadn’t faded my memories of her. The memories of that one girl, the one that I slowed, downshifted to neutral, and stopped beside her you just can’t seem to completely let go of. Our time together truck. Don’t know exactly why I had stopped, just seemed like had ended when she wanted more from us than I did. She the right thing to do at the moment. How bad could it be, I had a youthful vision of a future together. I saw only riding reasoned, to visit with a country girl, on an old blacktop road, motorcycles, working, and rolling through the good times as somewhere out in the Iowa hills? fast as I could. I had moved out west, seeking adventure and big money, and through time and distance, we had drifted The Shovel idled low, with that uneven rhythm that bounced the front end. I turned the ignition off, dropped the kickstand, apart. put the forks to the left, and let the old iron lean all the way As time went on, I realized that I had hurt her, even though to the stop. I sat there for a moment, just taking the scene in,
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the pipes tinked as they cooled. The girl, still swinging her legs, was taking this turn of events in too, and looked me over, as did her cat and dog. Guess I made for a sight, some sunglassed dude with faded old Levis, steel-toed buckled boots, and black button-down shirt, pulling in from out of the blue, on an old-school rumbling Harley. Getting off, I walked up to her truck, and put my gloved hand on the tailgate. Seemed to me to be one of those times when silence was the best thing to say, and neither one of us spoke, we just looked at each other for a long while. Probably was a blessing that words failed me. Seeing her close, I knew then that it was Amy. Forty-three years had changed her, but not the familiarity of the curves of her face. I had gone over this moment dozens of times throughout my life, and here it was, right in front of me, as raw and as real as anything I had ever experienced. I could never forget those eyes so blue and hair so long and blonde, and feelings came flooding back, like the words of a forgotten favorite song. The breeze blew a wisp of her grayish blonde hair across her face. She might have had a little eye makeup on, that pale blue that she used to wear. I thought that the lines from her eyes and the corners of her mouth were honest and only accented her face, different than the youthful face that I remembered, but now, even more attractive, in a mature, sensual way. Slowly, as she studied me, her hard looked softened, and her pretty face hinted at a small smile. I knew then that she recognized me too, although my once long red hair was now windblown and gray, and my once clean shaven face now wore a long gray goatee. My face too had lines, bearing testament to the years, hard work and a lifetime gone by. ”Hello, Amy”, I said. “Hello, Bo”, she replied. “Been a long time”, I heard myself say. “Yes. A long time”, she quietly said. After a couple moments, she asked “Like some water?” “Sure would”, I said.
It was good, just to be with her, and share a smile, and a comfortable, familiar easy feeling settled over us. “Nice day for a motorcycle ride.” I said. She smiled, and in that moment, she looked exactly like she was nineteen again, and I felt like I was too. Like I hadn’t felt in a long, long time. Wish I could have captured that raw emotion right then, to live again in that energy and excitement of my youth, so much more valuable, the second time around. Amy had always liked riding with me, and I recalled the many summer evenings we had spent, motorcycling around, cruising town, or just idling along in second gear on some backroad, talking and laughing, as the countryside passed by. “Yes”, she said, “It’s a real nice day for a motorcycle ride.” Stroking the kicker to compression, the Shovel started on the second kick, like it always did. Without a word, she swung her leg over, put her hands on my waist, then put her boots on the pegs and pressed them out, without causing the slightest lean, like a girl that knew how to ride on a motorcycle. I came out of the curve that marked the east border of her place, low on the tach, and rolled on the throttle, letting that Harley low-end torque pull, and the two-inch straight-pipe thunder pound. I felt every inch of her body against my back and legs, her arms wrapped around my waist, and her face, pressed tight against the back of my neck. The corn smelled deep and rich, in a way that I hadn’t ever noticed. I felt the warm humid wind across my face, blowing my hair back, like I had never felt it before. Cardinals and locusts were singing, the perfect background vocals for the song Amy and I were living in, at that moment in time. I dropped my left hand from the grip, and squeezed her bare calf. Turning back to her, so that she could clearly hear above the wind and the exhaust’s rumble, I said, “I am sorry, Amy. I am sorry for hurting you”.
I felt her looking at me, like she was looking into my soul, and after a long moment, she put her lips to my ear and she said, We walked to the yard hydrant, which had two copper cups “It’s ok. It’s ok now.” hanging from it, under the weeping willow. She lifted the handle, and filled the cups. A breeze swayed the long thin branches Guess you can’t go back and change the bad things in your around us. Always liked the sound of a breeze through willow life, but you can sure try to repair them. Sometimes you can branches. The cold cup sweated in my hand as I took a long fix them, and sometimes you can’t, but you can try. I think that drink. I had forgotten how good and cool and earthy, well with Amy, I didn’t fix everything, but she knew that she had water was. We didn’t talk, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. At this meant enough to me, for me to try. point in our lives, we were well past that. I think we were both just enjoying being with each other again, as simple as that, And we thundered off, into the lush, green hills. and words weren’t particularly necessary. Probably was a blessing that words failed me. “How have you been, Amy?” I asked, looking into her eyes, after I had finished the water. She paused then said, “Pretty good… All in all, things have been pretty good.” But I could tell from her eyes that there was a lot more to it, there were forty years of her life behind her saying that. But this wasn’t really the time to elaborate. Looking back at my motorcycle, she laughed when she saw that her lab was still eyeing me suspiciously from her truck. “I always thought that if I ever saw you again Bo, you’d be on a motorcycle”, she said. I felt that an honest smile was as good a reply as anything. Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook
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Wendy Wittrock Anita 2002 Fat Boy
Roxanne Lindaman Bayard 2012 Street Glide ( FLHX )
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Nate Ullrich publishes an Iowa based biker babe calendar called Natanic’s Pin-ups, which features Midwestern ladies on old bikes and hot rods. Calendar girl Jamie hails from the Des Moines area, and along with being our calendar girl this month on Nate’s ’38 Knuckle, she’s also Miss June 2019 in Natanic’s calendar. You can grab your calendar online at Natanic.com, where this time of year Nate regularly offers a “Buy 1 Get 1 Free” deal, but for online orders only. Shout out to Chuck the Barber for a killer photoshoot location, and to Jamie for providing her fine rear view. Oh… And lovely smile too!
Th Official The i lT Two P Part Y Year iin R Review, i 2019 P Preview i *AS viewed via my handle bars Oh, the end of the year wrap-ups, reviews, and rewinds. How would we ever slug through our rum infused eggnog holidays without a reminder of the shit we dealt with over the past year! To paraphrase Clark W. Griswold, I couldn’t be more surprised we are doing this if I woke up with my head stapled to the carpet! I said it was a paraphrase, no, that is not the exact quote, because that would not fit in this article. Yea, I did try to work it in, word for word, but it didn’t “sound” right, so I went along this path…look, it’s the end of year and Old Man Winter is slowing, deliberately spinning his winter bench vice of cold weather suck ever tighter on my family jewels on a daily basis. Yea, I might have a bad case of *PMS setting in (Parked Motorcycle Syndrome) but I am sure I am not alone when it comes to these aliments. Many fellow riders appear to be doing the same. A damn month out from the election and people are still a little tense it seems. Nothing that some dry, sand free roads, sunshine, and vermin (deer) free twistys wouldn’t cure. Man…that does seem to be a nice remedy about this time of the year.
no matter what h time i off the h year iit iis. Thi This iis NOT a bl blanket k statement; there are dealers that are consistently the best, year ‘round. We have all heard horror stories about folks just itching to spend thousands of hard earned dollars, only to be treated poorly…and I have never understood that! Now, while buying a bike this time of the year might be great for all the reasons I listed and then some, at the same time, it has to be MADDENING to buy a new ride and not be able to ride it! Oh my gosh that would drive me up a wall! If I was ever to buy a bike in the winter, I am that guy that would put it in my trailer and drive south, just far enough where I could get some saddle time. I really would. Yea, that may sound stupid… but I have done stupider stuff. For instance, I once flew to Dallas and back it the same day. For a cheeseburger. 100% true story. Left Omaha NE at 1pm, flew to Dallas TX, had a couple of burgers, a beer later at Gas Monkey, back home in bed that night by 10:40pm. That was one of the greatest burgers I have ever enjoyed and a damn cool adventure. But, as I was saying, if I buy a new bike, I just have to ride that sucker home! In that respect, I know I am not alone.
The holidays are smacking us in the melon and with that, we hope the guy with the souped up sleigh hooks us up with riding gear, a cool shirt, maybe some chrome…whatever. I am to the point in my life that I really don’t need any more Okay, I am done bitching about winter. Really, in all actual- shit in my life. Really…I am loaded with crap I need to get ity I do rather enjoy a brief embrace of winter. Really. I am rid of, but I know it’s the thought that counts. I am not benot just trying to sell this point to my feeble brain to deal ing a Scrooge, it’s just that I am really over worrying about with the weather. I do actually find some pleasure in the stuff. I am blessed, I have stuff. More stuff that I need, can winter months. It is a time to hit reset. I know several bud- use, or want. Okay, fine, I need, want and desire more guns. dies that use this time of year to really work on their bikes I guess I can always find more use for cool stuff like that. (a skill set I was not born with). Sure I can do what I need to Hell, if the boss wants to hook me up with some cool Thundo, but to see the magic that many can do amazes me. der Guns swag, (size XXL) or a nice 9mm….See, always plug the boss’s interests and you can’t go wrong. It’s the perfect time to strip her down, clean parts that never get cleaned, flush engines, upgrade brakes, add aftermarket Yes, this is essentially going to be a two-part article, behorsepower, paint, upgrade speakers, amps, subs, lights, cause the second half will be something that I am passionate seats, the list is endless. When you know you have a few about (as we all should be), goal setting. Few people enjoy months of down time, you can take the time to do it right it, but it’s an important exercise and with some simple tips, and it gives you some quality time around your bike, maybe it can be fun. I firmly believe that the difference between a help some bros and more. dream and a goal is writing it down. Every major company goal plans. Leaders of groups both large and small do it and If you take this time of the year to upgrade your ride, what VERY few people EVER achieve their goals without plana perfect and maddening time to do so. It’s perfect because ning them first. But that is for the next discussion. it is the down time of the year for dealers and prices can be very attractive; still “new” last year models or the newest of First, I have to do the 2018 year in review. the new, just calling your name. With the pace a bit slower at times, you can really get some great one on one personal It sucked ass. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy service, but each customer in the cold months SHOULD New Year, and all the other ones too! BE treated with the most dedication. Actually, why people are not treated to top notch service all the time baffles me, Todd “Crash” Davis I don’t get it. My bike is parked, my boat is in storage too….so don’t get me started.
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Back k iin 1979 d th around the Iowa/Nebraska border along the Missouri River, the Blackhawk West Chapter of the Antique Motorcycle Club of America was formed. In a few short years the name changed to the Omaha Chapter, but they have remained as a group of Iowa, Nebraska, Minnesota, South Dakota, ota, and Kansas vintage motorcycle enthusiasts. s. They are a local chapter er of the world known and nd renowned AMCA and they do their part to further rther the mission of the parent organization. ent organization
correct additions ddi i ll d Thi allowed. This annual event is where authorized AMCA judges look over a whole batch of antique motorcycles that are 35 years old and older, and score them. The bikes in the show are not scored against one another, but each bike starts with 100 points, and then points are deducted for things that are not correct for how they were originally delivered to the dealer when new. The motorcycles are further classed based upon age as well. The goal of each entry is to get as close to 100 points as possible.
This group of dedicated antique motorcycle fans has been keeping motorcycle history alive with road runs, a monthly get together, and an annual swap meet and AMCA judging event for many years. Most of what they do would be considered small day to day activities. Generally the group is very dedicated and almost lives and breathes the antique motorcycle life. I have a high level of respect for people that do this, as the current trends in the motorcycle world all have ties to the vintage rides of days gone by. Motorcycle trends come and go, but keeping alive a part of history is a tremendous feat.
Motorcycles entered in the AMCA judging program can progress through four award categories, each with more-stringent requirements: Junior Second, Junior First, Senior, and Winners Circle. After that, an owner can choose to continue to earn Winners Circle Preservation Awards by maintaining the bike in award condition and entering it in the judging program at subsequent meets. There are also Honor Competition Classes that cover racing motorcycles of the past.
The Omaha Chapter of the AMCA Swap Meet and Bike Show are slated for February 22-23rd at Christensen field in Fremont, Nebraska. Going to an AMCA sanctioned judging event is better than a trip to the museum, and the Omaha Chapter event is the only sanctioned judging event in the Midwest. These bikes are either restored to factory specifications, or are survivors with only period 24 - TRMI DECEMBER 2018
On top of the bike show and judging, there is an antique only motorcycle swap meet. If you are looking for a hard to find part, want to meet some cool old motorcycle enthusiasts, or just want something to do in late February involving motorcycles, Fremont is the place to be. It will also be a great year to attend and find out what great new events are being planned by the Omaha Chapter of the AMCA. Hope to see you there! Vernon and Melanie
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This month our featured Military Rider comes to the pages of Thunder Roads from Davenport, and his name is Randy “Road Block” Mester. Randy’s father served in the Korean Conflict, and following in his footsteps, Randy served in the Army for two years and the Air Force for an impressive twenty-six years. With the rank of Captain and a primary MOS of Logistics Officer, Randy served from 1984-2012. He was enlisted for 15 years and an officer for 13 years. Randy’s son also joined in the family tradition; he is also a Veteran of the United States Air Force. Randy’s military service has taken him far beyond the boundaries of the tall corn state. He served in several locations within the U.S., as well as the likes of Hawaii, England, Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Kuwait, and Afghanistan. Despite already having served his country for twenty-eight years and the disability incurred from that service, Randy says that he would go back in today if they let him! In his own words, he loves “the Lord, the military, the flag, and the U.S.A.!” In fact, he loves his military connection enough that he now works as a civilian with the Army at the Rock Island Arsenal just across the state line in Rock Island, Illinois. During combat Randy saw many things that most civilians can’t begin to comprehend, but sometimes those terrible things don’t happen in combat, but right here on our own roadways. Randy had an accident in 1984, and has also seen many accidents involving two wheels, including fatalities involving personal acquaintances. That being said, after Randy’s wife went to New Jersey and went riding with relatives, she began her mission to get Randy back out on two wheels. It took her about two years and a lot of persuasive maneuvers, but she eventually succeeded in 2010. 28 - TRMI DECEMBER 2018
Randy has ridden bikes in the past, like a Honda Shadow, and currently he tears up pavement on a Harley-Davidson Electra Glide that he purchased from Brenny’s Motorcycle Clinic in Bettendorf. When asked why he chose the Electra Glide, Randy said that he wanted something bigger that was more suited to long trips with the spousal fender ornament. Having recently joined the Combat Veterans Motorcycle Association, Randy knew he needed a ride that didn’t cause either him or the wife to lose all feeling in their rear ends after a long day of riding. Now, they both like the current wheels, but there are no plans for any modifications…Randy plans to go big in the near future and just buy new…nothing quite like that new bike feeling! Besides riding with his wife, Randy does a lot of riding with his friends in the CVMA. These guys get out and about for fund raisers and toy runs all over the state. Coming up in the next riding season, Randy has plans to attend the Combat Vets National Convention in Idaho (gonna need a real good seat for that trip) and the annual Patriot Ride out of Davenport. If there is an event in the state of Iowa that supports Veterans, children in need, or cancer research you will see Randy there showing his support. In your own road trips next season, make an effort to support our Veterans at one of their events, and when you see Randy there, be sure to shake his hand and thank him for his service. Melanie J Schwarte If you or someone you know would like to be a featured Military Rider in TRMI contact us at Vernon@ thunderroadsiowa.com
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you would be wrong. The pizza menu is jam packed with options, whether it be in the “specialty” category, or the “create your own” world…thin crust or regular. Pies like philly cheesesteak and ruben caught our interest, followed by the garlic and alfredo sauce options. We decided that this time we would go with the namesake pie on the menu and ordered the Haus Special on a thin crust.
Brick Haus Brews 301 Main St, Manning, IA 51455 (712) 655-2739 Open Tuesday – Thursday 4 pm – 9 pm Friday kitchen 4 pm – 9pm, bar until Midnight Saturday 4 pm – 10 pm
Shortly after placing our pie order the waitress returned with our appetizers. The side salad was a generous portion of greens topped with tomatoes, shredded cheese, and crispy croutons. I opted for the French dressing, which came on the side (just the way I like it) to avoid any soggy leaf occurrences. The plentiful batch of banana pepper rings were delivered in a basket, with a side of ranch for dipping. If you have never had banana pepper rings, I suggest that you try them. They are crispy little rings of perfection with just enough spice to remind you that in the appetizer world, there is more to enjoy than just your standard jalapeno.
By the time we had finished the first round; Brick Haus Brews in Manning has our amiable waitress changed hands a couple of times since was approaching us I started visiting, but the current owner with round two. The sure does have things going in the right smell of the Haus Spedirection. The bar/restaurant has a cial alone was enough family friendly atmosphere with all of to start the drool facthe pleasantries that you would expect tory for both of us, and from a small town establishment. The this became the prebuilding itself is wonderfully historic, carious moment that with a modern flair that keeps you all pizza lovers endure visually stimulated at least once in their while waiting for lives…to bite or not to your food. Now, the bite! We each served up a slice bar is not your only and stared at our plates, knowseating option here… ing full well that the slices of there are tall tables, heaven awaiting us were ironiregular tables, and cally…hotter than hell. Like even a party room in gluttons, we dove in anyway, the back if you want risking mouth burns that would to have Brick Haus destroy all other meals to come as the location for your next get together. for days. Well…..it was worth it! The crust was crisp as could Our waitress was very prompt and as soon as we grabbed be, with no signs of being overcooked. The tomato sauce our seats at the end of the bar, she had our menus in hand tasted fresh, but did not over power any of the delicious and was ready to take our drink orders. She was pleasant toppings. Our pie had thin sliced pepperoni, beef, sausage, and attentive, and informed us that in addition to the regular mushrooms, red onion, green peppers, and incredibly smoky menu items, that evening they were offering lasagna, prime bacon in addition to a cheese combination of mozzarella and rib sandwiches, or brisket sandwiches with your choice of provolone that created pizza perfection. One noteworthy a side as their specials. This gave us plenty to consider, thing about the veggies….they were uniformly chopped, not especially when we looked around the room and gawked at those giant pieces and slices you find on chain store pizthe delicious looking sandwiches and pastas at neighborzas today…thank you for that Brick Haus…I really despise ing tables. We decided to put in an order for side salads those giant chunks on my pizza! and banana pepper rings while we made our final decision. Besides the specials for the night, there were salads and So, in closing. If you haven’t been to Manning lately, you wraps, panini’s, soups, and of course….pizza that we had better schedule yourself a trip. Brick Haus Brews has delito consider. We chose to go the pizza route, as they looked cious food, awesome specials, and wait-staff that will make amazing exiting the ovens in the open kitchen. I don’t sure you have an experience to remember. I know we will know about you, but I like to see my food being prepared… be back, and bringing our friends along for the ride! that way I know not only are they following food service guidelines, but they are proud of what they are creating for Melanie J Schwarte you. So, back to the pizza….you may be thinking that this melanie@thunderroadsiowa.com was the end of our culinary quest for deliciousness….well, Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook www.thunderroadsiowa.com 30 - TRMI DECEMBER 2018
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he nu nude de There was a guy sunbathing in the What’s Wh h the difference between an oral and a on a beach. He saw a little girl rectal thermometer? The taste. coming toward him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was readAn old lady went to visit her dentist. ing. The girl came up toward When it was her turn, she sat in the him and asked, “What’s that chair, lowered her underpants, and under your newspaper?” Thinkraised her legs. The dentist said, “Exing quickly, the guy replied. “A ccuse cu u me, but I’m not a gynecologist.” “I bird.” The girl walked away, and d know kn know,” ow said the old lady. “I want you to take the guy fell asleep. When he awoke, oke ke,, my hhusband’s usba us baand n teeth out.” he was in tremendous pain. The ppoo olice asked him what happened. Th Thee gu guyy says, “I don’t know. I was lying on on the th he beach, and this little girl asked Sexx is like math. You add the bed, subtract Se me a question, I guess I dosed thee clothes, divide the legs, and pray you th off and the next thing I know don do don’t n multiply. I’m here” The police went to thee beach found the little girl and asked kedd ke her “What did you do after that?”” An elderly el woman that had lost her husband a After a pause the little girl replied, couple ed ““To To coup co upple le years ago decided that it was time for a him? Nothing. I was playing with his new husband. So being the old fashioned woman bird and it spit on me. So, I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, she is, she put an ad in the paper. It stated. “Looking for a and set its nest on fire!” husband. Must not run around. Must not hit on me but must also be good in bed.” Well one day she heard the doorbell ring. When she answered it, she was shocked to see a man A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends in a wheelchair with no arms or legs. Man: “Afternoon $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way ma’am. I’m here about the ad in the paper.” She said, “You? home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before But you’re in a wheelchair.” He replied, “Well you see I leaving, he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind have no legs so I won’t run around on you. And I have no me asking, but how old do you think I am?” “About 35,” arms so I can’t hit on you.” The woman agreed, but said, was the reply. “I’m actually 47,” the man says, feeling re“Yes that’s true. But are you good in bed?” He responded, ally happy. After that, he goes into McDonald’s for lunch “Well I rang the doorbell didn’t I?” and asks the clerk the same question. The reply is, “Oh, you look about 29”. “I am actually 47.” Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question. She What do you call a 14 year old girl in West Virginia that is a replies, “I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But virgin? Faster than her brothers. when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man’s age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact What goes 99-thump..99-thump..99-thump? A centipede age.” As there was no one around, the man thinks, what the with a wooden leg. hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later, the old lady says, “Okay, it’s done. You are 47.” Stunned, the man says, “That was brilliant. How did you do A blonde walks into a store and asks, “May I buy that TV?” that?” The old lady replies, “I was behind you at McDonThe store salesman says, “Sorry, we don’t serve blondes.” ald’s So she comes the next day with her hair dyed black and asks the same guy, “Can I buy this TV?” The salesman says, “Sorry, we don’t serve blondes.” Frustrated, the next What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs? Whatever the day she dyes her hair red and to make sure she will get the hell you want. He can’t hear you. TV, she asks a different salesman, “Can I buy this TV?” He says, “Sorry, we don’t serve blondes.” The blonde says, “How on earth did you know I was blonde? The salesman How is Christmas just like any other day at the office? You says, “Because that’s a microwave.” do a bunch of work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit. Why did the Blonde get so exited after finishing a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months? Because on the box it said 2-4 years. What do you get if you deep-fry Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle. How do you know an Asian broke into your house? Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, your dog is in the oven, and he is still trying to back out of your Christmas is so stupid…Whoever invented it should be driveway. nailed to a cross.
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How do you get 1 million followers? Run through Africa with a bottle of water. What do you call 2 Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan
a marker and draws a circle around the vagina and says “Son, this is a pussy!” The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks “Then, what is a bitch?” The dad replies, “That’s everything outside the circle!”
What do you get when you jingle a man’s balls? A white Christmas.
A woman is in labor, shouting and screaming in pain. She says to the doctor “... get this out of me, give me drugs!” She turns to her boyfriend and says “You did this to me you S.O.B!” He replies casually, “If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said ‘No way! It’ll be too painful’, Now who’s laughing...”
What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? A glad-he-ate-her.
Why is it called a Wonder Bra? When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went.
What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.
There once a fellow McSweeny, Who spilled some gin on his weenie. Just to be couth, He added vermouth, and slipped his girlfriend a martini.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off.
What does it mean if a man remembers the color of a woman’s eyes after a first date? She’s got small tits.
A guy walks into the bedroom carrying a sheep in his arms and says, “Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache.” The wife, lying in bed reading a book, looks up and says, “If you weren’t such an idiot, you’d know that’s a sheep, not a cow.” The guy replies, “If you As an airplane is about to crash a female passenger jumps weren’t such a presumptuous bitch, you’d realize I was talkup frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to ing to the sheep.” die feeling like a woman.” She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?” A man stands up, removes his A Texas couple is walking out of the divorce court and the shirt and says, “Here, iron this!” wife is crying her eyes out. Husband says “Oh for fuck’s sake stop crying, you’re still my sister.” The queen of England was visiting one of Canada’s top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating. “Oh my god!” said the Queen, “That’s disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???”The doctor leading the tour explains, “I’m sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn’t do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly.” “Oh, I am sorry” said the Queen. On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job. “Oh my God”, said the Queen, “What’s happening in there?” The Doctor replied, “Same problem, better health plan.”
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, “I’d rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips.” The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, “Me, too, I didn’t know we had a choice.”
A guy is late for an important meeting. But he can’t find a place to park. In desperation, he begins to pray. “Please Lord, if you help me find a parking stall right now, I promA boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about ise to go to church every Sunday and never drink vodka pussy, and their bitch. The boy confused by this goes to his again!” A moment later, he sees a beautiful empty spot right mother. “Mom”, the boy asks, “What’s a pussy?” The moth- next to the entrance. “Nevermind. Found one!” er being startled by this thinks quickly and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says “Son that is a pussy.” the son then asks “What’s a bitch?” The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa and dog and says “Son, this is a bitch.” The son walks away still Thunder Guns would like to pass on Holdconfused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says “Dad, what’s a pussy?” The iay Greeting! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to each and every one of you. Be father doesn’t want to miss the baseball game so he quickly safe, be well, see you in 2019! whips out his Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook
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Nov 30-Dec 1 Steffens Cycle Open House Atlantic Dec 8 Pictures with Santa Carroll HD Dec 16 ABATE D3 Christmas Party Brayton Dec 21 Men’s Night Out Loess Hills HD Pacific Junction 2019 Jan 5 Retro Rewind Dubuque Jan 12 Winter Sucks Party Metro HD Cedar Rapids Jan 19 Blackstock Basement Swap Meet Cedar Rapids Feb 2-3 Colorado Motorcycle Expo Denver Feb 3 Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Rock Island, IL Feb 9 Chili Cook Off Metro HD Cedar Rapids Feb 15-17 33rd Annual Lincoln Bike Show Lincoln, NE Feb 21-23 Omaha Chapter AMCA National Swap Meet Fremont NE Feb 23-24 50th Rod & Custom Bike/Car Show Monticello Feb 26 ABATE of Iowa Lobby Day Des Moines Mar 2 Bikes at the Brewery Motorcycle Show LaCrosse, WI Mar 3 Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Cedar Rapids Mar 8-10 World of Wheels Chicago Mar 15-17 World of Wheels Omaha Mar 23-24 32nd Annual Donnie Smith Bike Show St Paul, MN Mar 30 Raccoon Valley Powersports Garage/Mancave Tour Jefferson Apr 6-7 33rd Annual North Iowa Expo Mason City May 3-5 Rally in the Hills LHHD Pacific Junction May 3-4 Vintage Torque Fest Dubuque May 4 Sleeping Angels Foundation Bike Drawing Boone May 4 Pancake Breakfast Metro HD Cedar Rapids
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May 18
Annual Children’s Hospital & Medical Center Motorcycle Awareness Fun Run Council Bluffs May 23-25 Redneck Revival Conesville May 24-26 CVMA 39-5 APR Keosauqua May 26 Midway Tavern’s Annual Neal Denny Memorial Poker Run Soldier Jun 1 Harley-Davidson of Carroll Rock –N- Ride Carroll Jun 7-8 Midwest Victory Rally The Vic Shop De Soto Jun 8 11th Annual Bell Tower Festival Poker Run, Tour Rides, & Bike Show Jefferson Jun 14-16 Rumble In The Sand Outlaw Street Drags Conesville Jun 15 CVMA 39-4 Annual Patriots Ride (APR) Davenport Jun 23 3rd Annual 620 Golf Outing Metro HD Cedar Rapids Jul 4-6 ABATE of Iowa Freedom Rally Algona Jul 20 Thank the Seals Ride(s) Burlington AND Big Barn HD Des Moines Aug 11 2nd Annual Rumble to Recovery Metro HD Cedar Rapids Aug 17 IAFF Local 4906-MDA 3rd Annual Poker Run Loess Hills HD Pacific Junction Aug 29-31 Redneck Revival Conesville Aug 31-Sep 2 Midway Tavern Soldier Valley Run, BBQ, Street Dance Soldier Sep 6-8 VROOM Vintage Riders of Old Motorcycles Mississippi to Missouri Rivers Sep 20-22 Rumble In The Sand Outlaw Street Drags Conesville Oct 10 620 Foundation Check Presentation Walford via Metro HD Cedar Rapids Nov 29 Black Friday at Metro HD Cedar Rapids
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