Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa October 2019

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I just had the realization while hile hi le sstaring tariing aatt a tari ta blank document that the October cto tobbeer er is issu issue suee su has always been the most ddiffi iffi fficu cult ultt for me to get the Letter from m th tthe he Editor written. It is not that at itt is the worst month of the year earr weather wise or anything, bu butt the reality that it is truly a pivotal month weather wise. Normally September still offers some late season heat, sunshine, and awesome riding weather, but Octoberr is is a whole new slamming shut ut ooff the riding season for many. A Att the very minimum, those that h t are still out on two wheels in October are dealing with highly modified riding style due to weather conditions, back road hazards, and much shorter daylight days. I know mine is not parked for the season, so we are just going to be more wary of the road goats that tend to start sniffing and crossing the roads this time of year. We will also hope that the deer hunters have a great harvest this year to lessen the numbers of them on the run. Harvest with slow moving vehicles will be on the roadways that we have to reduce our speeds and watch more for, as well as sometimes dealing with debris that is drug onto the highways by the equipment. One last thing for October riding that we always try to plan for is the gross variances of temperatures and weather conditions. Riders almost need to be ready for anything from rain, sleet, bright sunshine, heat, and almost freezing temperatures on any given day of riding in Iowa. Rides generally seem to be shorter, or at least much more planned out for covering distances during the warmer parts of the days. October does not have to be the end of the road, just a little different path, and some extra considerations to keep riding and be as safe as possible about it.

On the Cover

We took a small group ride out on Otis Road in Cedar Rapids to find a couple spots to take some photos for this month’s cover. On the edge of a major metro area in Iowa lies this little gem of a back road with some cool Cedar River views, train tracks aplenty, and some cool rustic Iowa countryside. All this is within 10 minutes of the hustle and bustle of downtown Cedar Rapids. A short but very cool little route that I am sure connects to some other cool eastern Iowa treasures. Thanks to Pete Leehey, Dan Matzdorff, Cam Leehey, and Jon Jansen for riding with me and showing me around more CR cool spots. These guys are from www. thebikerlawyers.com and can be found there or at 877-209-9452 if you find yourself in need of awesome legal representation anywhere in the Midwest. 4 - TRMI OCTOBER 2019

October is the month that we stop publishing the Thunder Roads Bike Night Listing, and the Thunder Roads Event Listing is getting pretty slim. The bike nights are almost done for the year. There are still a couple of spots that are hard core and keep hosting them throughout the month of October, and for that we commend them. The listing will still be posted on Facebook like normal for a bit yet, but the list won’t appear in the magazine again until next spring. The event listing continues every month, and as usual, we try to have the most comprehensive list available for our readers. We are now starting to seek out events for 2020, so if you host or have confirmed dates for events next year, please get them emailed to Vernon@thunderroadsiowa. com We simply don’t see every posting, flier, or notice, so we are asking for your help to keep our list as complete as possible. Email me the event date, name of event, and starting location town. That way we can get the event listed and shared all over. If more than the free event listing is desired for your event, feel free to mention that when you email me the dates for your events and we can chat further on that. Thanks in advance one and all for getting us your events! I know that all the political crap for the next Presidential election has already begun, but in the next 13 months it will only get worse. I don’t care who you vote for or why, but I do beg of my fellow Iowans to do their best to be INFORMED voters. Do your own research on topics and issues that are of importance to each one of you. Don’t just simply follow the leaders or believe everything that you see on TV or on social media. Above all of that, be decent. Don’t let politics end lifelong friendships or tear families apart. A difference of opinion with someone on a particular issue does not mean that we cannot still get along and share other common interests. We all have our own opinions, and have the right to voice our opinions, but don’t be an asshole in doing so. Get along, be decent, be the better person, and together we can all get beyond those that seem to be always trying to drive wedges between us. Be good, be safe, and ride while you can! Vernon Quote of the Month: “I believe our flag is more than just cloth and ink. It is a universally recognized symbol that stands for liberty, and freedom. It is the history of our nation, and it’s marked by the blood of those who died defending it.” John Thune

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Life has some unexpected twists and turns. I’m writing this on the heels of one of those twists (the death of Chuck Geertz) and thinking back on a couple of the turns from previous years (the deaths of Don “Moose” Kirchner and Teresa Morris). Since some of you may not have been fortunate enough to know these three stalwarts from the motorcycling community, I’ll give you a shorty on each of them: Chuck was the heart and soul behind HERO, Healing at English River Outfitters, the organization that provides hunting and outdoor opportunities for veterans but then sneaks in a little something extra – the mission of bringing hope back into the vets’ lives. Don was a larger-than-life mentor to many who had slipped into the quick sands of life and needed someone to guide them to safety. Teresa was the fearless lady who was game for anything, but who also wrestled with the dark nights of the soul and knew that without support, many who struggled with the same problem would not see the sun rise again. It seems like each one of these three has left our lives too soon.

was at work in their lives.

Jesus Christ was in his thirties when it was time for him to be done on earth. His life had to be broken off so that his disciples would “pick up the pencil pieces” and use them to write God’s message over and over again through their own lives onto the lives of others. The disciples were I was thinking about the impact they had on those around able to bring honor to them and how they used their lives to write something Christ through the power of God that was at work in their worth reading. You know how when someone writes hard lives. This is the Good News that they brought: Mankind’s on a notepad they leave not just ink on the paper but they leave the indentations and grooves of their writing? These relationship with God the Creator was broken off because of their sin; God sent his son Jesus to pay the penalty for sin so three wrote so hard on the top page of the notepad of life that even after the good Lord allowed their page to be torn that any individual who admits their sin can be reconciled to from the notepad, the indentations and grooves of their lives God; All who have been forgiven are filled with God’s grace which they are to share with others in need. And then the are still on the pages below. cycle starts over. We are those pages. What will we do with the message Where are you in this cycle? Are you still the sinner each of them left behind? Will we scribble over the separated from God? Or maybe you are the one who has message with a crayon in our heartache and anger? Will we crumple the page up and let the message be lost because accepted Christ as your saving grace but you haven’t begun to share his grace with others. You may not be equipped to we just can’t understand why this happened? Or will we slowly begin rubbing our own pencils across those grooves start a vets’ program, work with people with addictions, or run a support group for people who suffer with depression, so the message will show up more sharply? but if you know Christ, you are equipped to do something to help others. I can say that with all confidence because Honesty compels me to say that Chuck, Don, and Teresa each wrote so hard at times that they broke their pencils. If Ephesians 2:10 says this: “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the you knew any of them, you know they didn’t hide the fact that they had their struggles. But God can still write with a good things he planned for us long ago.” Don’t keep God’s goodness to yourself. He has planned for you to tell his broken pencil. story in a way that only you can. He has planned for needy 1 Corinthians 4:7 brings these comforting words: “We now ones to hear from you. have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are Blessings – Karla like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.” Anything any of us do in honor of Chuck, Don, Mark & Karla Cornick are Area Reps for the Christian Motorcyclists Association. Find out more about CMA and and Teresa is ultimately because of the power of God that God’s plan for your life at www.cmausa.org Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook www.thunderroadsiowa.com 6 - TRMI OCTOBER 2019


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Indian Motorcycle of Des Moines 1500 E Army Post Road Des Moines, Iowa 50315 515-256-9062 Indianmotorcycleofdesmoines.com

National Motorcycle Museum 102 Chamber Drive Anamosa, Iowa 52205 319-462-3925 Nationalmcmuseum.org

Firehouse Bar 1211 5th Street Downtown Sioux City, IA 712-224-1020 Open Daily at 12:00

Indian Motorcycle of Mason City Mason City Powersports 12499 265th Street Mason City 641-423-3181 Masoncitypowersportsinc.com

Okoboji Classic Cars Museum and Restoration Shop 810 Jeppeson Road West Okoboji, Iowa 51351 712-332-8029

Flaming Office 201 W High Street Toledo 641-484-2255 Outdoor Patio, Happy Hour 5-7 Flaming Office on Facebook & Google

Loess Hills Harley-Davidson 57408 190th Street Pacific Junction IA 51561 712-800-3500 loesshillshd.com

(Popular Poker & Fun Run Locations)

Metro Harley-Davidson 2415 Westdale Drive SW Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 319-362-9496 www.metro-motorsports.com

American Legion Post 46 1301 S 6th Street Marshalltown, Iowa50158 641-752-3612 Open to the Public 7 Days a Week

Nishna Valley Cycle HONDA – YAMAHA – KTM Atlantic, Iowa 50022 1-888-577-6406 www.nishnavalleycycle.com

American Legion Post 111 1101 W 4th Street S Newton 641-792-3353 Open to the Public 7 Days a Week Newtonamericanlegion111.org

Route 65 Harley-Davidson 1300 S Jefferson Way Indianola, Iowa 50125 515.962.2160 www.route65hd.net

Barney’s 203 S Mill Street Wadena, Iowa 52169 563-774-2525 Barney’s Wadena on Facebook

Storm Lake Honda 3040 Expansion Blvd Storm Lake, Iowa 50588 StormLakeHonda.com 712-732-2460

Baxa’s Sutliff Store & Tavern 5546 130th Street NE Lisbon 319-624-2204 Cold Beer, Delicious Food, Good Music & Great Times!

Iowa Legendary Rye 707 N Main Street Carroll, Iowa 51401 Iowalegendaryrye.com

Dealers

Zylstra Harley-Davidson 1930 E 13th Street Ames, Iowa 50010 515-232-6223 zylstrahd.com

Big Daddy’s 5-6 W Main Street Lewis, Iowa 51544 Tue-Fri 2PM-*, Sat-Sun Noon-* Zipp’s Pizza & Big Patio!

J.R. Willie’s Gateway to the Beautiful Hill Country Colesburg, IA 563-856-5095 Open Daily Mon-Sun 11AM Home of the Willie Whopper

Baxter Cycle 311 4th Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2351 www.baxtercycle.com

Entertainment

Bloodline Irish Pub 214 Public Square Greenfield, Iowa 50849 Bloodline Irish Pub on Facebook

Johnie’s Tap 112 NE 2nd Street Stuart, Iowa 50250 515-523-1146 Mon-Sat 9:00 AM-Close

The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments throughout Iowa that sponsor the magazine. You can pick up your copy here every month. Let them know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa Biker Friendly Business Listing and become a part of the network, please email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com

Biker Accessories Coolbikerstuff @ The Old Bait Shop 2103 Okoboji Ave MILFORD, Iowa 51351 712.338.8888 & 214.914.4555 Crispy’s Biker Apparel Cedar Rapids, Iowa Find Us On Facebook J&P Cycles 13225 Circle Drive Anamosa, Iowa 52205 www.jpcycles.com 319-462-4817

Dealers Auto Karl Chevrolet Stuart Austin Vanlandingham 324 SW 8th Street Stuart, Iowa 50250 515-523-1201

Big Barn Harley-Davidson 81 NW 49th Place Des Moines, Iowa 50313 515-265-4444 www.bigbarnhd.net Carroll Cycle Center 1327 Plaza Dr Carroll, Iowa 712-792-1610 www.carrollcycle.com Edwards Motorsports and RV’s 1010 34th Avenue Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 712-366-8400

Food and Drink

Ambro’s Roadhouse 917 Guthrie St De Soto, Iowa 50069 515-468-2236 Great Food! Ambro’s Roadhouse on Facebook Book Em Dano’s 33 S Main Street Denison, Iowa 51442 712-263-9818 Mon-Sat 4-2 Dancers Nightly 5-1:30

Bullys’ Angle Inn 505 US 151 Walford, Iowa 52351 10am-12am Check Us Out on FB Catfish Charlie’s On the Mississippi River 1630 E. 16th Street Dubuque, IA 52001 (563)582-8600 www.CatfishCharliesDubuque.com

Celebrations DJ & Karaoke Services Newton, IA 641-521-8036 Any Occasion /Rally or Event EmCee Facebook/Ray Johansen(Celebrations) Specializing in Weddings & Receptions

fullthrottleia.com or edwardsrvs.com

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Desperados 105 E 5th Street Atlantic 712-243-7087 Home of Cold Beer, Good Times, Pizza & Wings

Flat Tire Lounge 304 S Madison Madrid 515-795-4174 Outdoor Patios – Happy Hour 3-9 Flat Tire Lounge on Facebook Grinnell Pub 909 State Street Grinnell, Iowa 50112 641-260-8003 Grinpub@aol.com Goozman’s Westside Bar & Grill 1019 7th St Harlan, Iowa 712-755-2259 Goozman’s Westside on Facebook Haverhill Social Club 202 1st Street Haverhill, Iowa 50120 641-475-3321 Tues-Sat 10-2, Sun 12-12

Just 1 More 515-570-4206 641-757-0159 309 Railway Jamaica, Iowa 50128 KC’s Tavern 120 N Main Street Bridgewater, Iowa 50837 Mon-Fri 4:30-Close, Sat-Sun 1-Close Find Us on FB 641-369-2017 Knickers Saloon 2186 Central Avenue Dubuque, Iowa 52001 563-557-0887 365 Days a Year Knickers Saloon on Facebook

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McCanns Tap NE 14th & 54th Des Moines, Iowa 50313 Bike Parking M-F 2:00 Sat & Sun 11:00

Ralph’s Moorland Tap 508 Front Street Moorland, Iowa 515-549-9702 Here For the Beer!

The Back Forty 317 Main Street Macedonia, Iowa 712-486-2687 11:00 Every Day BF

The Yankee Clipper 312 SW Maple St Ankeny, Ia 50023 515-964-9484 yankeeclipperbar.com

Mi Casa Family Restaurant 512 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-2258 Enjoy Drinks at the Full Bar!

Red Oak Tap 419 E. Reed Red Oak, Iowa 51566 712-623-4788

The Buck Snort Restaurant & Sports Bar 25 Scott Street Council Bluffs, Iowa 51503 712-328-2825 TheBuckSnortrestaurantandsportsbaronFB

The Station Grub & Suds 205 W Kimball Street Hancock, Iowa 51536 712-741-2337 Come Party on the Patio!

The Buck Snort Glenwood 419 Sharp Street Glenwood, Iowa 51534 712-520-6454 Buck Snort Glenwood on Facebook

Tobey Jacks Mineola Steak House Mineola, Iowa 712-526-2078 Open 7 Days a Week Check Us Out on Facebook

The Buck Snort 113 4th Street Neola, Iowa 51559 712-485-9090 The Buck Snort on Facebook

Twisted Corn Tavern 1405 Walnut Street Dallas Center, Iowa 50063 515-992-3868 Twisted Corn Tavern on Facebook

The Buck Snort Harlan 3002 23rd Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-235-2825 The Buck Snort Harlan on Facebook

Vic’s Main Tap 304 Broadway Audubon, Iowa 50025 712-563-2122 Opens Sun-Fri 2:30, Sat 9:30

The Buck Snort Neb City 715 1st Corso Nebraska City, NE 68410 402-713-5169 Buck Snort Neb City on Facebook

Whatcha Smokin? BBQ+Brew 403 Iowa Avenue Luther, Iowa 50152 515-257-7490 Tuesday-Sunday

The Buck Snort Oakland 310 Dr Van Zee Road Oakland, Iowa 51560 712-355-5315 The Buck Snort Oakland on FB

Whistlin’ Donkey Sports Bar & Grill 111 N. Main, Woodward 515-438-2669 Open 7 days/week @ 10am, Kitchen 11am Outdoor Patio, Find us on Facebook

The Buck Snort Red Oak 322 E Coolbaugh Street Red Oak, Iowa 51566 712-357-1701 The Buck Snort Red Oak on Facebook

Wild Hogs Saloon & Eatery 350 Commercial Drive Walford, Iowa 52351 Open 11:00 Every Day Check Us Out on Facebook

The Exchange 171 S Elm Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-343-2609 Lang’s Pizza, Cold Beer, Sports

Wilson’s Tap and Recreation 1008 Story Street Boone, Iowa 50036/ 515-433-1395

Midway Tavern 206 1st Street Soldier, Iowa 712-884-2230 www.midwaytavernsoldier.com

Riverside Tavern 450 E Main St Lehigh, Iowa 50557 515-359-9998 Email:riversidetap@gmail.com

Montgomery Street Pub 207 East Montgomery Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-2165

Roadhouse 105 Washington Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2272 Home of the Marne Burger

Newt’s Place 403 East St Shelby, Iowa 51570 712-207-2150 Newt’s Place on Facebook

Rumors Bar & Grill 400 F Ave Cedar Rapids, IA Live Music & Food 319-286-0806

North 40 Bar Magnolia, Iowa 402-301-8234 Look Us Up on Facebook Come Have Fun at the GYM!

Sandbar 103 North Noyes Street Mondamin, Iowa 51557 712-646-2300 Facebook Sandbar Mondamin

Northside Rec 511 Main Street Coon Rapids, Iowa 50058 712-799-7512 Open 7 Days a Week

Scooters on Broadway 475 NE Broadway Des Moines, Iowa 515-288-1053 scootersonbroadway@hotmail.com

Old Timer Tavern 401 S Center Street Marshalltown Mon-Sat 6am-2am, Sun 12pm-2am Outdoor Patio-Live Entertainment 641-753-9854 and Facebook

Sidetracked 206 West Union Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-8534

Papa Joe’s 117 South 6th Street Missouri Valley, Iowa 51555 712-642-9015

Sportsman Bar & Grill 103 1st Street Pisgah, Iowa 51564 712-456-2222 FOOD, FUEL, FUN

Pearl Street Social Club 110 Pearl Street SW Shellsburg, Iowa 52332 319-436-7100 Find Us On Facebook!

Stumpy’s Bar & Grill 423 Main Street Duncombe, Iowa 50532 515-543-4222 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill on Facebook

Pines Steakhouse Oinkers Lounge & Grill

1500 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-243-3606 M-F 11AM-, S-S 4PM-

Sugar’s Diner & Lounge 2725 E Kanesville Blvd Council Bluffs, Iowa 712-322-3600 Check us out on Facebook

Polk City Pub 217 W Broadway Polk City, Iowa 50226 515-984-9388 Open @ 11:00AM / Closed Mon.

T.J.’s Pourhouse 100 E. Washington Street Exira, Iowa 50076 712-268-2353 Open M-SAT.@11, SUN.@ NOON

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The Lounge 1005 Chatburn Ave Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-5050 The Lounge Harlan Iowa on Facebook The Pastime Lounge 114 S 4th Street Cherokee, Iowa 51012 712-225-0219 Facebook/Patio/Food The Place2B! 116 N. Federal Ave Mason City, IA 50401 M-F 3p-2a S-S 2p-2a Find Us On Facebook

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Guns and Ammo 2A Firearms Training Training to Protect Your 2nd Amendment Rights 641-439-6660 Craig.2aft@gmail.com JLM Shooters Supply 6931 Douglas Avenue Urbandale, Iowa 50322 jlmgunshop@gmail.com 515-331-1577

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Insurance & Financial O’Malley Wealth Mgmt. 5623 NW 86th Street Suite 400 Johnston, Iowa 50131 515-490-0930 State Farm Clark Ahrenholtz, Agent NMLS# 1679997 2114 12th Street Harlan, Iowa 712-755-5724 Clark.ahrenholtz.jb69@statefarm.com

Jewelry Bill’s Jewelry Shop 903 Main Street Grinnell, Iowa 50112 641-236-1008 Rings Checked FREE!

Legal

Walker, Billingsley & Bair 208 N. 2nd Ave. West Newton, Iowa 50208 Corey@WalkLaw.com 641-792-3595

Chuck’s Cycle Service and Repair S&S and Drag Specialties Dealer 714 East 7th Street Washington, Iowa52353 319-461-5278

SS Collision, Cycle Works & Graphics 2902 11th Ave SW Spencer, Iowa 51301 712-262-3959 www.sscollision.com

Photo and Art

Cycle Clinic 2209 ML King Pkwy Des Moines, Iowa 50314 cycleclinicdm.com 515-288-6954

Steffens Cycle Shop LLC 1311 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-243-3076 Mon-Fri 9-5, Sat 9-12 or Call

Services

F & J Racing 701 N 3rd Ave Marshalltown, Iowa 50158 641-752-8651 www.fandjracing.com

The Vic Shop DeSoto, Iowa 515-339-4313 Facebook.com/TheVicShop VICTORY & INDIAN ONLY

Jason Roberts, LLC Haul It, Dig It, Doze It Code931993@yahoo.com 641-740-1411

Mean Machine Cycle Parts Elkhart, Iowa 50073 Stereos, Bars, LED Lights, Air Ride Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat 9-12 515-367-7336

Thunder Road Cycles 4106 Rockingham Rd Davenport, Iowa 52802 563-323-3172 Thunder Road Cycles on Facebook

Southwest Iowa Sandblasting Mike Magers 65162 Oxford Rd Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-249-3995

Motorcycle Medic 3176 Highway 30 Woodbine, Iowa 51579 712-647-2818 Open Tues-Sat Noon-6PM

Tires

Ullrich Photography PO Box 1842 Clinton, Iowa 52733 563-243-8715 www.natanic.com

Hupy and Abraham sc, pc Lawyers for Bikers 800.800.5678 Hupy.com

Shops & Fabricators

Law Tigers Lowe Law Group 699 Walnut Street 4th Floor Des Moines, Iowa 50309 800-Law-Tigers

Bigfuuts Paint & Repair Baxter, IA 515-577-6730 Custom Paint & Fabrication After Hours Service & Parts Stereos-Electrical-Repairs

TheBikerLawyers.com The Biker Lawyers, P.C. Riding & Defending Your Rights for Over 30 Years 877-209-9452

Butterfield’s M.C. Parts 8025 Blondo Street Omaha, NE 68134 402-391-3768

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Nelson Machine & Forge General Machining, Ornamental Iron, Weld/Fab 70 Washington Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2220 Road Rage BikeWorks 401 High Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-307-6111 Road Rage BikeWorks on Facebook

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Sandbothe Firestone 1106 Main Street Griswold, Iowa 51535 712-778-2223 Sandbothe Firestone on Facebook

Trailers Lacaeyse Trailer Sales 4192 HWY 146 Grinnell Trailers & Truck Accessories 641-990-2674 www.lacaeysetrailers.com

To buy ad space for your business or service in our directory, give us call at 712-249-5630 or email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com

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two wheels for two wheels

Motorcyclists, bikers, riders, enthusiasts, MC club members, riding group members, and hell, even the local HOG chapter occasionally gets bad juju for being less than desirable in our current pansy assed society. Just because we sometimes wear mainly dark colored attire, or have motorcycles that make more noise than a hybrid car, or simply look scary with dark sunglasses and a bandana, doesn’t necessarily mean riders are bad people. Bikers do a ton of good for other riders and the general public in the way of benefit rides, awareness rides, and fundraisers of all sorts.

One such group that evolved from a riding club to a motorcycle club is Solid Ones in Des Moines. These guys are not new to the central Iowa scene, but have been working hard to carve their own path and fit into the biker world of Iowa. They have chosen to try to utilize the draw to the lifestyle to be able to pull from their humble beginnings to do more and become more than a group of scary bikers. These guys work hard to do as much good for their community as possible, all while challenging the stigma of “dirty bikers”. One of their annual events that have gotten rather large is doing a car and bike wash, using Big Barn HarleyDavidson’s lot. They were generous enough to allow the club to utilize their space for the last five years, and be in a very public spot to allow riders and the general public to support their event and their cause. The wash proceeds Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook

this year were to be used to purchase and distribute bicycles to kids in need. Nothing like bikers establishing future riders by giving back to the community that they live in! This year, Law Tigers were a big sponsor of the event, and Marcus Bell really came through for the Solid Ones with some bicycles for the cause and helping them at their events. This event is far from the only charitable event that the club has done. They have assisted a young man’s family with medical bills. They have donated earnings to a shelter dedicated to helping women that have been victims of domestic abuse. They helped raise funds for a family that lost their young daughter in a car accident. They actively look for charitable organizations to help out when they can. Some of these they will be working with include Creative Visions, Iowa League of Heroes, Yess, and Iowa Shelter Homes. Also, they have contributed to Children’s Cancer Connection, St Jude’s Children’s Hospital, Lift for the 22, as well as the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. This year since their elevation of status to a club, they wanted to up the ante and do as much good as possible, and help out some kids. They certainly did that with over 70 bikes that they were able to give away to kids that can sure use them! If you see these cats out and about, help support their work, and thank them for being a good influence in the biker world. Giving back and doing good, despite the leather.

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Lisa Axtell 2008 Suzuki BLVD Council Bluffs

Henrietta Elliott 2012 Harley TriGlide Stanhope We want you on our pages! If you are an Iowa Girl of Thunder, send us a quality image, your name, year and model of bike, and where you are from to: vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com

Terri “Cherokee” Kraft 2016 Can-am F3T Ankeny 16 - TRMI OCTOBER 2019

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avid riders that made trips to Sturgis many times. His grandfather passed when Branden was in middle school, so the bike just sat on the farm unattended for years. When his grandmother could no longer reside on the old farm place, Branden rescued the Ural to bring it back to a safe and dependable riding condition. He likes to compare the rebuilding and maintenance of this bike to exactly what his grandfather did, keeping a valued ride on the road. He has no intentions of modifying the bike, keeping it exactly as it was found, as he said that making any changes would make him feel uncomfortable due to the history of the bike. His grandmother is living with Alzheimer’s, and once Branden gets it road worthy and as safe as possible he would like to see about taking his grandmother for a ride in the side car. It would be the first time for her in the side car since her husband passed.

The Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa Military Rider for the month of October is Branden Bissell of Ankeny. Branden is a long time friend of the family, and I have had the privilege of being able to watch this young man grow up. He served in the Army Reserves, 103rd ESC. He attained the rank of Specialist while he was serving from 2008 through 2017. He served at Fort Des Moines right here in central Iowa. His MOS was 89B, Ammunition Specialist. Branden was assigned to a headquarters unit, and as such, was not able to travel much, but he and his fellow soldiers assisted many missions from here as well as spending a lot of time helping soldiers through the processing in and out of deployments. As far as Military history in his family, his grandfather served in the United States Marine Corp. Branden’s service to our great Nation has made his family proud. Branden’s riding history has consisted of many different motorcycles as well as types of bikes. He has been without bikes off and on for short periods, but always seems to find something for a project to work on. He is not the buy it new type of cat, and since a high school shop class and the help of Youtube.com videos, he loves to tinker, rebuild, and the customizing of his two and three wheeled projects. Even now the building, tinkering, and customizing have become a family affair with Branden helping his boy catch the two wheeled fever! He has owned many different dirt bikes, sport bikes, and his current which is a side hack unit. He has also had a 2004 CBR600RR, a 2008 GSXR100, and now he owns his grandfather’s 1993 Ural 1Mz.8.103-4. Branden got away from the sport bike scene for a couple of reasons. For one, riding them was not as comfortable on his back as it should be, and only seemed to get worse over time. That on top of having kids; he felt the need to lean toward the side of riding safely instead of ripping around at high rates of speed. As I mentioned, his current ride was previously owned by his late grandfather. Obviously the sentimental value of this motorcycle is more than any dollar amount could ever be placed on the Ural. His grandparents were lifelong 18 - TRMI OCTOBER 2019

Branden has always enjoyed riding, and is also a cat that has beat cancer twice. When he was bedridden while battling cancer, he would spend many hours daydreaming about riding and wrenching on two wheeled machines, and also spent many an hour watching internet videos of people riding. He actually found out about the second occurrence of Leukemia when he was riding one day. He had an issue with his hip, and some severe weakness, and when he went to put his bike on the kickstand, his leg gave out. He had a friend that was luckily right there to help right the bike, but he knew something was wrong again. His doctor confirmed the recurrence of cancer on a Friday, so Branden spent the entire weekend riding the back roads and small towns, and on the following Monday morning he reported to the hospital for his second round of treatment. Branden plans on getting the Ural up and running as soon as possible, and then riding with his many friends on two wheels, and supporting rides and benefits for both Veterans and cancer fighting causes. If you see him out and about on his Ural, give him a wave, or better yet, shake his hand and thank him for his service. Ride Safe and FREE thanks to our Military and Veterans Vernon

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strategic locations. Sure the bottles got warm, but it was still water!

This is the 2nd Chapter of an Iowa boy’s attempt to ride all the lower 48 states. If you haven’t read the previous chapter, I advise you to find last month’s issue of TRMI to take in the full story. Enjoy…

Before leaving on o this trip, I found a page on Facebook called Bunk a Biker c where people can offer w their th yard or property for fo a place to camp for free, fr or riders can post looking for a spot while they’re on the road. But rolling into Provo around 8pm, and after that heat, I really did not want to re setup a tent. Therefore, as much as I hated to pay for a m hotel room right away, I gave h in anyway.

Thursday, July 19th, 2018: West on Hwy 50 out of Pueblo, CO is an amazing mazing ride! It runs along the Arkansas River iver through quaint little towns like Salida and Gunnison, with mountain views on both sides. This also leads over Monarch Pass which summits over 11,000 feet, then back down to the Curecanti Recreation Area, but I could’ve done without the bee sting at about 9am, which had my right eye swollen to the point that it felt like my eye lid weighed about 20 pounds. The weather was great and temps reasonable until around Grand Junction, CO, where it was just plain hot. I jumped on I-70 west for a few miles, crossing into Utah (state #8) then north on Hwy 6 when I stopped for gas in Price, UT where temps were somewhere around 105 degrees. I go inside for a Gatorade and they had fresh cut watermelon on ice in huge cups for $3, which was perfect in the heat.

Next morning I set out very early to stay with friends v Joe J & Kim Tracy in Reno. Us U Iowa folks know them as the th folks who do the Cedar Rapids and Rock Island, IL R swap meets every year. I left s Provo around 4am to get a P jump on the day’s heat, which ju off o ered an awesome view of the th sunrise over the mountains east e of Salt Lake City in my mirrors while riding I-80. The T mirrored stillness of the Great Salt Lake was mesmerizing and calling Iowa my home my whole life m made it quite the surprise as to how desolate this region m is. i

As I continued north, the temps didn’t let up and I needed more water… I had a couple empty Gatorade bottles stuffed under cargo nets over my pack, and thermos full of ice water from Eryka’s that morning, but the thermos was intended as emergency water in case I broke down in the heat. And considering I’d just left my fulltime job, I was looking to do things as cheap as possible, so at rest areas I made a point to fill up my empty bottles in the drinking fountain. At one point on the trip, I had 4 bottles and my thermos strapped in 22 - TRMI OCTOBER 2019

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Along I-80 I A reached the r Bonneville B Salt S Flats, and any a racing fan understands the u history created h here h for roughly the th last 100 years. I took some time to really soak it all in, r and a even grabbed a baggie full of salt s to take home for f margaritas. Before leaving a B fella pulled up in a f small car and gets s out o wearing a shirt that th simply says “Choke, Retard, “ Kick.” Anyone K who w rides old motorcycles knows m Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook


this routine as the process to kick-start an old bike, but any Panhead fan on Facebook also knows this to be a t-shirt offered from the Classic Panheads page. I can’t remember the guy’s name at all, but he was from Palo Alto, CA and on his way home from the Panhead Reunion in Milwaukee a week or so beforehand. I got to telling him that I followed the page, and he was intrigued by my story of quitting my job to pursue all things motorcycle related, and in our conversation he offered some bottled water, granola bar, and fresh fruit, so I guess I had breakfast on holy ground. We said our goodbyes, but on my way back to I-80 a Mustang came up on my out of nowhere and as it passes me I notice his fenders and wheel wells were caked full of salt. So I think it’s safe to say this guy was out testing the limits of that Ford! Back on I-80, Nevada (state #9) is only a few miles away, and Joe warned me that it’s a very long and boring ride. There’s a few mountains in the distance, but other than that it’s hard to stay awake all the way to Reno. I rolled into their place that night where they offered up a room, cold beer, and some good grub, although I think Kim’s still upset with me for not eating my veggies! They offered to take me on a ride down to Lake Tahoe the next day, so we set off into California (state #10) with a little jaunt around the northern part of the lake. Traffic sucked, and stopping for a drink with paper straws seemed foreign to me, but from there they led up to Virginia City, Nevada. Along the way they stopped to point out heard of wild Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook b k

hhorses they watch on a regular basis, and V Virginia City was cool as hell, which is an oold town that still shows a lot of character fr from the Gold Rush era. For anyone that’s eever been to Deadwood, it’s a lot like th that, but nowhere near as commercialized. H Highly recommend stop for anyone vvisiting that region. Next day I was off for the coast. JJoe led the way along Hwy 395 to S Susanville, CA, and then pointed me in th the direction of Hwy 44, then jump on Hwy 299 in Redding, which to took me to the coast. It was aanother scorcher of a day, bbut about 5 miles before A Arcata I could feel the cool bbreeze off the ocean. I ffollowed the PCH through the Redwoods, but my ocean th vvisit was short lived, as I nneeded a place to camp for the night. I rolled north th in Oregon (state #11) with word on a Bunk a Biker spot w to pitch a tent near Medford. As it worked out, that spot A ddidn’t work so I opted for a KOA nearby. Smoke from fforest fires in the region gave quite the eerie feeling, so I felt it best to th ssuck up the KOA fee and get a feel ffrom the locals as to how these fires might impact my route. Turns out m that other than smoke, the fires didn’t th aaffect much for me, but did make it impossible to see the lake at Crater im Lake National Park. Paid the fee L kknowing damn well I wouldn’t be aable to see much, but I rode right by, sso curiosity got the best of me. I rode Hwy 97 north through the heart h of Oregon, where for a stretch I could see a very faint hint of Mt. Hood off to the west. I jumped ju on I-84 east then up to I-82 and Hwy 395 into in Washington (state # 12) and used the powers of o social media for a lead on cheap/free camping in the Spokane area. Eryka came through again and a mentioned her friend Patrick, who had a rental r house that was gutted, but he offered to let le me pitch a tent there, or could even setup my air a mattress inside. No running water and only 1 outlet that worked, but at least I had a place to squat s for the night. Patrick stopped by early the next n morning and offered me a shower at his place up u the hill, so I left him a couple calendars for his hospitality, h and started thinking on what roads I’d be b hitting now that I was heading back east. Nate N Ullrich www.Natanic.com Be B sure to grab TRMI next month for the 3rd installment in of 48 States. www.thunderroadsiowa.com th d di

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Oh, the Smell. Can’t you smell that smell? So much has been going on, not just news stuff, hell the news cycle never slows down, and I am just talking about the comings and goings in my life, at times it’s near impossible to find some down time and do, well nothing. I always feel like I need to be “doing” something, entertaining someone, be at some event, doing more work, addressing any number of the metric ass ton of projects around the compound that always seem to be needing addressed, spreading time to make sure my family’s needs are met, my extended family, my friends… shit just never seems to stop. But when it does, when I take a Saturday afternoon and do nothing, I freaking can’t stand it. Even those days when I am tired or just feel like being a slug, I get this anxiety that starts to creep in because I feel like I am not doing all that I can do with this limited amount of time we all have on this mud ball spaceship called Earth. All of our time is different, and we all want more. There is never enough time. So, when (at least for me) I waste some time, be it a lazy Saturday or spending time on the couch, it starts to drive me insane.

some balls. The ride was helping, the few miles I had helped my brain zip all over the place from reminding myself about deadlines on several fronts to a reminder to stop being a dumbass and to enjoy the ride on this amazing late summer night. There are damn few of them in our life and in midSeptember, you know this just might be the last one. This time of the year, you can have super warm, hell, damn near hot days on your bike but the sun is a fickle bitch and when she goes down, it is time to change your gear and add some quickly! The crests of hills at night feel, or rather can feel, amazing, while hitting the valleys can shiver your bones quickly. I started thinking about the end of the riding season, well, the end of lots of things, but mostly the riding season. I ride a great deal in October, weather permitting and it seems that the last few years, it has for the most part. Sure, we end with fall in full force and at times you can even taste a hint of winter’s chill sneaking in. But this month can provide some kick ass times and some amazing views all across Iowa.

I have written in the past few times about being a part of or setting up a “leaf run”. It’s pretty set up in the eastern side of the Hawkeye state, but all across the state features some amazing views with the golden hue that is breathtaking and yet fleeting at the same time. Very fleeting as the brilliant palate of colors only seem to last a few prime days and it is something to behold when it happens. I love it, I do, I love Recently, one warm, perfect night I was riding home from an the smell of autumn, the way the harvest smells is hard wired event that I had hosted. It was a cool event, great live music, to my core even though more of my life has been urban rather sold out crowd, everybody was having a great time and I am than rural. The air smells different and the October sky has a unique blue hue to it that only shows up this time of the year. all over the place doing the stuff I get paid to do. Okay, so The roads for riders do naturally feature some different chalit’s not that hard, but when the lights come on, the mic goes live, you have to deliver. People can’t believe they pay me for lenges for us this time of the year. The harvest means slow doing it, but I always say, go ahead and give it a shot, it’s just moving vehicles can pop out of nowhere. Grain carts, comthousands of people, entertain them. I took the time to shake bine heads, loaded down wagons, and trucks with food for some babies, kiss some hands, and took pics with folks at the the world are making their way to market. Remember a few show. It was a wonderful, mentally exhausting evening and I things while riding these roads. These roads were not made, created or maintained for us to ride on; no matter how imwas so happy that I rode. I needed the 27 miles, a late sumportant we think we are they were made for one reason. That mer night ride home to chill the hell out, clear the cobwebs reason is to move goods and services from farms to markets and reset myself. and back. But the most important thing to remember, never I made my way through the thousands of people exiting, my bitch about a farmer, the dust, the “smell of money”, the traffic or anything else when you have a full belly or are riding to Wing felt amazing between my legs and my playlist in the get food, or you already have scarfed. You’re not that damn surround sound kicked off some tunes that made me wonbusy, just let them do their job. der what I was listening to! Lol It was more “Yacht Rock” than it was “Highway Rock” and I will admit I was caught Of course the biggest issue this time of the year is the whiteoff my focus my this music choice, but that said, it struck tail deer and we all know its game on for them, between me as a workable solution and I rolled the throttle back as I harvest activities moving them around, their urges for getting leaned into the on ramp, leaving the world of suburbia and some are starting to warm up as well, and let’s face it, when sliding onto the four lane expressway. The Yacht Rock was they are horny, they are stupid. I may have done some stupid in hindsight, what I needed was to do a “brain drain”. You know, where all the shit that has been building up, just sort of shit while chasing sex too, maybe. Well, likely. processes in your melon and starts to filter out. The trouble was the more cobwebs that cleared out of my gray matter the I know my schedule. My life isn’t really any different than just about anybody else, I have a ton of shit going on, just like more that started to creep back in, reminding me of all the you. My various pursuits all pull me in different directions. other crap I need to pay attention to. My hobbies demand my time, home projects, responsibilities, life in general. We all know the drill. But maybe, just maybe, I set the cruise to match the traffic on this particular Friday night, nothing too crazy for volume yet as per usual for a Fri- it’s okay to take an afternoon to yourself and not feel guilty day night, a few of those coffee can sized muffler sports cars about it. Let your mind dump and filter out the crap until you can find something to focus on that your mind and soul will zipped by me at breakneck speeds in their imported cages. be happy about. I never understood those dumbass, high pitched motors. I don’t care about the car, go fast in whatever gets your rocks to tingle, but for crying out loud, have a low toned rumbling Time to set up a leaf run and smell autumn. sound coming out that at least displays a little back bone and Todd “Crash” Davis 26 - TRMI OCTOBER 2019

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From: Mechanix Illustrated The Motorcycle Book

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Twisted Corn Tavern 1405 Walnut Street Dallas Center, IA 50063 515-992-3868 Sunday – Thursday 11 am – 11 pm Friday & Saturday 11 am – 2 am You may be asking yourself, what could I possibly find to do in Dallas Center Iowa? Well, I have to say I was right there with you until I set foot downtown in a place called The Twisted Corn Tavern. We showed up well past the noon hour, but even so there was an abundance of customers inside. This said to me, we better take a seat and grab a bite…cuz this must be the place for good grub.

Long story short….here is what we ended up with. I set my sights on the Turkey Bacon Cheddar, which was piled high with freshly grilled and sliced turkey breast (nothing from the lunch meat section on this plate), crisp bacon, lettuce, tomato, and melted cheddar cheese, served up on perfectly toasted marble rye. To accompany your sandwich, you have your choice of skin-on fries, baked baby potatoes, mashed potatoes with brown gravy, cottage cheese, or steamed veggies. Or for a small additional charge you can upgrade to sweet potato fries, side salad, cup of soup, onion rings, or fried cheese curds. I added fresh cut onion rings to my plate. Vernon seems to gravitate towards the tenderloin in new places we visit, and this was no exception. His order arrived at the table, a piping hot fresh pork tenderloin pounded thin, then beer battered and lightly seasoned. He chose to top his with bacon and swiss cheese as well. As if that wasn’t enough, it came served with tomato, lettuce, onion, and pickle on a toasted bun. Vernon also upgraded his meal to include perfectly fried golden cheese curds. The trip to Dallas Center was definitely worth it. Food and service at the Twisted Corn Tavern is top notch. The only downside to our visit was we had no place to nap before heading back out on the road…maybe a small sleeping section could be added before our next visit? Fat and sassy we hopped back on the bike, but a return visit or two are definitely on our radar. Just check them out on Facebook, or the website at www.twistedcorntavern.com. Perusing the menu before your arrival couldn’t hurt; it is even marked with local favorites! Stop and see them at the tavern, and be sure to tell them Thunder Roads sent ya!

Despite being busy, our waiter was quick to head to our table with menus and take our drink orders. We had many miles yet to travel that day, so we opted for iced tea despite the numerous beer options, including some local Iowa brews and a delicious looking bloody mary I saw cruise past our table. The menu options were seemingly endless, and despite asking a couple of times for a few more minutes, we still ended up asking for a little guidance from our server. There were some unique appetizers, like the jalapeno corn poppers and even poutine to pick from. There was pasta, pizza, burgers, wraps, and sandwiches to pick from among other things. And everything that passed our table on its way from the kitchen looked delicious, so watching the deliveries did not help us in reaching a decision. 30 - TRMI OCTOBER 2019

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Melanie J Schwarte Melanie@thunderroadsiowa.com As always if you have some place in your neck of the woods you think we would enjoy shoot me an email at melanie@thunderroadsiowa.com

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A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra. The man asks, “Why are you doing that? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?” The nurse explains, “The hot chocolate will help him sleep.” The man says, “And the Viagra?” “Keeps him from falling out of bed.” A nun gets into a cab and notices that the driver can’t stop staring at her. So she asks him why is he staring and he answers, “I have a question I need to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.” The nun replies, “My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you have had a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.” The cab driver hesitates for a moment and then says, “Well it’s like this; I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun perform oral sex on me.” The nun replies, “Ok well, let’s see what we can do about that, shall we. There are two conditions though - firstly you have to be single and secondly you must be Catholic.” The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, yes! I am single and I’m Catholic too!” The nun then says, “Ok then, pull into the next alley.” The cab driver does so and the nun duly goes ahead and fulfills his fantasy. They get back on the road and start driving again, but the cab driver soon starts to cry. The nun sees this and asks him, “My dear child, pray tell, why are you crying?” The cab driver says, “You must forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied to you - I must confess that I’m married and I’m also Jewish.” The nun laughs and says, “That’s OK, my name is Kevin and I’m on my way to a Halloween party.” I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred. Almost all of them replied, “How the hell did you get in here?” The other day I was having sex with this married woman when her husband came home early. She told me I’d have to use the back door and said I’d have to be quick. On reflection I should have just left, but it’s not every day you get an offer like that. Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words? Because your best friend gives you space when you need it. Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club. Thank you all for coming. A boy asks his Dad one day, “Dad, what’s the difference between confident and confidential?” His Dad replies, “Well, you’re my son – I’m confident about that. And your best friend Jimmy is also my son – that’s confidential.”

Me and my girlfriend were going to a Halloween party last year and my girlfriend came down the stairs wearing nothing but boots. I asked her “What are you supposed to be?” She said, “Puss in boots.” So I went into the kitchen and put a potato on my penis. When I came back out, she asked me, “What are you supp su supposed pp to be?” I said, “If you can be puss in bo boots, then I can be a dictator...” Ih had to give up my vegetarian diet. Turns out they’re a lot harder to catch than cows. th Du During a funeral, the pallbearers accidentally bum bu bump m into a wall whilst carrying the coffin and when they do so they hear a faint moan. So they open the casket only to find that the woman inside is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years after this and then eventually dies and so there’s another funeral for her. At the end of the service, as the pallbearers carry out the casket, the husband cries out, “Watch out for the wall!” I went to see the doctor today and he said to me, “Don’t eat anything fatty.” I said, “What - no bacon or sausages or burgers or anything?” He said, “No fatty, just don’t eat anything.” A woman is having a hard time getting her tomatoes to ripen so she goes to her neighbor with her problem. The neighbor says, “All you have to do is go out at midnight and dance around in the garden naked for a few minutes, and the tomatoes will become so embarrassed, they will blush bright red.” The woman goes out at midnight and dances around her garden naked for a few minutes. The next morning, the neighbor comes over to the woman’s house and asks the woman if her tomatoes have turned red. The woman says “No, they’re still green, but I noticed the cucumbers grew four inches!” Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son’s medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The son said, “I don’t think you should take one Dad, they’re very strong and very expensive.” “How much?” asked Grandpa. “$10.00 a pill,” answered the son. “I don’t care,” said Grandpa, “I’d still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I’ll put the money under the pillow.” Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, “I told you each pill was $10, not $110.”I know,” said Grandpa. “The hundred is from Grandma!” I had a big fight with my wife last Halloween. I yelled at her, “When you finally die, I’m getting you a headstone that says, ‘Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever’.” “Yeah well,” she shouted back, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that says, ‘Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.’”

My girlfriend asked me if I could have a threesome, which of Why do Chinese people have Chinese babies? Because two her friends I would choose. Apparently, I was only supposed Wongs don’t make a white. to name one, not two. A guy goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, my girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never I’ve just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. It took me ages to broke. How is this possible?” The doctor replied, “Let me tell you a story. There was once a hunter who always carried get her husband’s voice right. a gun wherever he went. One day he took out his umbrella 36 - TRMI OCTOBER 2019

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instead of his gun and went out. A lion suddenly jumped out in front of him. In order to scare him, the hunter used the umbrella like a gun, shot the lion, and the lion died. The guy says, “Nonsense! Someone else shot the lion!” Doc replies, “Good. You understand the story. Next patient, please…”

ing. But every once in a while, he’d hear an internal, reassuring voice that said, “Dave, don’t worry about it. You’re not the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won’t be the last. And you’re single. Just let it go.” But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality, whispering “Dave, you’re a vet…”

A man in a hotel lobby turns to go to the front desk, but he accidentally runs into a woman beside him and his elbow bumps into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, “Ma’am, if your heart is soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.” She replies, “If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 436.”

A beautiful woman approaches a pharmacist and asks, “Do you have extra-large condoms?” The pharmacist replies, “Yes, aisle 11.” The blonde goes to the isle. But about 30 minutes later she is still looking at the condoms. The pharmacist calls over to her, “Do you need some help?” The woman replies, “No, I’m just waiting for somebody to buy some.”

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, “Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?” She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes.” Eventually the lady asks, “Aren’t you gonna bite them?” He replies, “No, it’s too expensive.”

A lady approaches a priest and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing. They keep saying “Hi, we’re hot. Do you want a date?” “That’s terrible!” the priest exclaimed. “But I do have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots, to whom I have taught to pray An American tourist walks out of a Mexican train station and read the bible. My parrots will then teach your parrots when he notices he isn’t wearing his watch. A Mexican man to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots is resting under a sombrero under a nearby tree. The Ameri- will learn to pray and worship.” So the next day, the lady can approaches the Mexican and asks, “Excuse me, do you brings her female parrots to the priest’s house. The priest’s know what time is?” The Mexican looks at the donkey, grabs two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in its balls, and replies, “4:30.” The American asks, “How do their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in with you know that?” The Mexican replies, “Well you get a hand- the male talking Parrots, and the female parrots say, “Hi, ful of the donkey’s balls and lift them up so you can see that we’re hot. Do you want a date?” One male parrot looks over clock across the street.” at the other male parrot and screams, “Put your Bible away Idiot, our prayers have been answered!” A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out What did one lesbian vampire say to another lesbian vamand granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be pire? “Same time next month?” back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to with her family. The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends Himself, “Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three were here.” plus six, that son of a bitch is nine.” His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, “What are you doing?” The little QWhat do you call two lesbians in a closet? boy answered, “I’m doing my math homework.” “And this is A liquor cabinet. how your teach taught you to do it?” the mother asked. “Yes” he answered. Infuriated, they called Little Johnny’s teacher What’s the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I’ve the next day. “What are you teaching my son in class?” The never had a lentil on my chest. teacher replied, “Right now, we are learning addition.” The mother asked, “And are you teaching them to say two plus Doctor Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty two, that son of a bitch is four?” After the teacher stopped all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, laughing, she answered, “What I taught them was, two plus he couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelm- two, the sum of which is four.” Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook

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Rider Foundation. This is the group that watch out for motorcycle rights out in Washington D.C.. Both of these group look out for your freedoms and can always use your help with keeping your rights and freedoms as a rider.

We are rolling into October and here at ABATE of Iowa we just keep rocking and rolling. A group of us just returned from Bloomington, MN from the MRF (Motorcycles Riders Foundation) Meeting of the Minds. This is a conference where the brightest and sharpest bikers from across the United States, Canada, and Europe in the motorcycle rights movement meet to discuss issues and problems that plague the motorcycle community. Then each freedom fighter takes back this information to their state to help the motorcycle community in their State. To me every biker no matter what you ride should belong to two groups, first your state Motorcycle Right Group for us in Iowa it is ABATE of Iowa, then also the Motorcycle

Press Release 9/5/2019 HMC announces their 2019 lift donation recipient. HMC Industries – Marshalltown, IA. HMC Industries is dedicated to producing exceptional quality products. HMC manufactures and sells shop equipment for the automotive, power sports, golf, turf, lawn and garden and marine service industries. Each year HMC Industries selects a worthy cause to donate a lift to for the organization to generate much needed funds. Many of those donations have been given to worthy veteran groups! The 2019 lift donation is Teufelhund Veterans group.

Next we are gearing up for ABATE of Iowa S.T.E.A.M (Seminars to Educate and Motivate) which is November 8th and 9th at the Best Western Inn in Marshalltown. This is a weekend conference to help ABATE members learn more about ABATE and the different aspects of our organization like Rider Education, Share the Road, and Legislation. This helps the members learn what they can do to help ABATE and help the motorcycle community here in Iowa. Well now it’s time to jump on the bike, get in some of this nice fall weather riding, maybe do a leaf run or two. Remember the farmers are in the fields, so watch out for the farm equipment on the road, the animals they might push out of the fields, and the drivers that don’t see us. We will see you on the road of this great State to ride in. David Duffy “Duff” State Coordinator ABATE of Iowa

Wood during WWI in June of 1918. The lore says the U.S. Marines were so tough they fought like Devil Dogs…or Teufelhunds.

The Teufelhund Veterans Group is a civilian organization with no affiliation to the Department of Defense, any military service, or any other Club or Organization. This organization accepts honorably discharged veterans and active duty personnel of all services of the United States of America. The purpose of the group is to support United States military personnel, current or prior. They participate in and support programs that help active duty, former military and injured veterans. This group also supports their communities and the programs and projects that assist those who they call neighbors. Examples of areas that the group supports are KIA Ghost Post, Waypoint Services, Boys and Girls Club, English River Outfitters, 22 No More, Linn County Veteran Affairs and Toys for Tots.

Teufelhund Veterans Group collected their Made in the USA special edition Veteran Strong motorcycle lift last week. This special edition lift will be raffled off. The drawing will be held on November 11, 2019 (Veteran’s Day of course). You do not need to be present to win. Each ticket is just $5.00 and only 500 tickets will be sold. Get yours today! Contact Chuck Dickenson at 319-821-0900 or private message their Face Book page “Teufelhund Veterans Group”.

Teufelhund is German for “Devil Dogs” a nickname given to the U.S. Marines during the Battle of Belleau 38 - TRMI OCTOBER 2019

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Sep 25-28 Sep 28 Sep 28 Sep 28 Sep 28 Sep 29 Oct 6 Oct 6 Oct 10 Oct 12 Oct 12 Oct 12 Oct 13 Oct 18-19 Oct 24 Oct 25-26 Oct 26 Nov 8-9

Bikes, Blues, BBQ Fayetteville, AR The Chosen Few 50th Anniversary/End of Summer Party Cedar Rapids Vic’s Main Tap Poker Run Audubon Harley Davidson of Carroll 2020 Model Open House Carroll ABATE D10 Santa in September Toy Run Fort Dodge The Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride Baxter Cycle Omaha, NE Also Runs in Des Moines and Cedar Rapids Toy Run Harley-Davidson of Carroll ABATE D15 35th Annual Toys for Tots Ride Davenport 620 Foundation Check Presentation Walford via Metro HD Cedar Rapids Gentleman’s Ride for Waypoint’s Gentleman Campaign Cedar Rapids ABATE D4 Pre-Toy Run Des Moines Save the Twins Poker Run LHHD Pacific Junction ABATE D4 Toy Run Des Moines Rumble In The Sand Outlaw Street Drags Conesville Ladies Night Harley-Davidson of Carroll A Very Wicked Swap Meet and Halloween Party Mount Pleasant Halloween Spooktacular Big Barn HD Des Moines Veteran’s Day Event Big Barn HD Des Moines

40 - TRMI OCTOBER 2019

Nov 8-10 Nov 23 Nov 29 Nov 29 Nov 29 Dec 14 Dec 14

ABATE of Iowa Steam Marshalltown Fashion Show Rt 65 HD Indianola Black Friday at Metro HD Cedar Rapids Black Friday Big Barn HD Des Moines Black Friday at Rt 65 HD Indianola Holiday Open House Big Barn HD Des Moines Holiday Open House Rt 65 HD Indianola

2020 Feb 22-23 Mar 1 Apr 4-5 Apr 5 Jul 2-4

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51st Rod & Custom Bike/Car Show Monticello Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Cedar Rapids 34th Annual North Iowa Expo Mason City Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Rock Island, IL ABATE of Iowa Freedom Rally Algona

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