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Humble Pie in Bakersfield By Bob Cox I was shopping for a birthday gift for my nephew Parker (a.k.a. Uncle Grandma) when my phone rang, which diverted my attention away from scanning the shelves for the funniest birthday card ever. I didn’t recognize the number, so when I swiped the little green phone on my touch-screen to the right, I waited for the caller to speak first. I suspected it was another annoying telemarketer, so when the sound of a vaguely familiar voice asked, “Is this Bobby Cox?” I was shocked and amazed to learn that the voice belonged to my long-lost childhood best friend Vince, someone that I hadn’t spoken to in over 20 years! After several delightful conversations via phone and text, my wife Diana and I decided to make the 296 mile trek down I-5 last month to Bakersfield to reconnect with the guy that was truly a brother to me. We spent the bulk of our childhood together, laughing, playing sports, hitting the beach and bickering like an old married couple. No matter what we did, Vince added color to my black and white life. I may have already owned the coloring book, but it was Vince who always bought the crayons. After a wonderful day of reminiscing and catching up with Vince and conversing with his sweet and soft spoken wife Callene, Diana and I headed to the cool comforts of our
motel room. About an hour after lying down for a much needed night of uninterrupted sleep, I was awoken by the familiar abdominal cramps that felt like an elephant using my stomach like a stepping stone. I had been experiencing this pattern for a couple of weeks and mistakenly thought I was getting too much protein in my diet, so I wasn’t too concerned as they always went away after a couple of hours of annoying discomfort. This night would turn out to be quite different as the pain never relented. I finally rolled over and asked Diana to call 911, which she did after some reluctance as she thought I was just being a drama queen. The next 19 hours became an epic ordeal as we waited in the overcrowded emergency room hallway for a room to become available. The intensity and duration of the pain began to impact my heart, which went into Atrial fibrillation, an erratic and dangerous rhythm that can be deadly. It felt like I was sprinting at full speed on a treadmill with no timetable to get off to catch my breath. To make a bad situation exponentially worse, my poor wife, a two time cancer survivor, had just endured extensive lower back surgery the previous month. Despite my urgent requests for her to go back to the motel room to get some much needed rest and relief, Diana refused to leave my side until I got a room. It would take another two days of round the clock tests to determine that my gallbladder was fried and four more days of tests and recovery before my doctors felt comfortable enough to release me. During this seven day odyssey in The San Joaquin Hospital, I realized how fragile my independence was. I was almost totally dependent on the competent and caring professionals, as well as friends and family members, who provided me with the incredible physical and emotional support that I desperately needed. Looking back on my life, from the earliest memories and into my early adulthood, I was hopelessly needy and chronically dissatisfied. No matter how much I received from the people I believed that I needed, it never seemed to be enough. As I began a life-long journey towards selfimprovement, I realized that I was far happier and healthier immediately after making the subtle shift from need to want. By choosing to be around people because I WANTED to be with them instead of being around people I NEEDED to be with was completely liberating. That choice has lead to a life filled with greater joy and tranquility. On the other hand; life does find a way of humbling even the most fiercely independent members of our society. I should know, as I dined on a steady diet of tasty humble pie in Bakersfield! Bob Cox is the founder and publisher of Go For It Magazine. He can be reached by phone at (916) 266-3115. His email address is coxrobert@comcast.net. Go For It Magazine is owned and operated in Rancho Cordova, CA. Copyright © 2017.
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T he Two Secrets to Motivating Yourself By Leo Babauta I’ve written about motivation a bunch of times before here on Zen Habits, but the more I learn about it, the more I realize that motivation isn’t that complicated. Sure, there are numerous tactics and strategies I’ve used with success. But it really all boils down to two things. And those two things are so deceptively simple that you might decide to stop reading after I name them: 1) make things enjoyable and 2) use positive public pressure.
It’s Motivation, Not Discipline
First let’s back up a little bit. A number of readers have emailed me about sticking to their goals, anything from exercise and eating right to Secret number one is doing what you love. being organized and productive to creating new • Marathon. Right now I’m training for my third marhabits; and have said they simply lack the discipline to stick athon, in Honolulu this December. As I’ve stuck with the with things for very long. toughest marathon plan I’ve ever undertaken, I’ve marveled But what is discipline, really? It’s mostly an illusion, in at my ability to keep at it. But it’s not hard to figure out my experience. When people say that someone has “disciwhy: I’ve publicly committed to doing this marathon and pline”, as I’ve written about before, they really mean he has I’m really enjoying the running! the motivation to stick to something. • Blogging. I’ve now been blogging for almost two In a previous post I used the example of someone in years, making Zen Habits one of the longest-running projthe military, a typical case of someone who is said to have ects I’ve ever stuck with. I’ve worked on many projects bediscipline. This military man might get up super early, fix fore, but they are usually completed within a year. Anything his bed neatly, go on an early-morning run, do a bunch of longer is usually intimidating to me. But it hasn’t taken disother exercises, and generally do a disciplined job throughcipline to stick with blogging. It’s something I really enjoy out the day. and the added bonus of positive public pressure that has But is that just because he’s disciplined? I think it’s motivated me to stick with it. mostly because he’s in a situation where there’s public pres• Writing a book. A couple months ago, I finished the sure (both positive and negative) to do all of the things manuscript for my book, The Power of Less. I will admit that listed above. If he doesn’t do them, he might get yelled at I had some trouble writing this book, with the demands of or look bad in front of his peers. If he does them, he’s an publishing two blogs, training for my second marathon and exemplary soldier. preparing for my wedding. I got the book done with both There’s also the fact that after awhile, these things beforms of motivation; pressure from my publisher to turn in come pleasurable for him. He gets a sense of satisfaction the manuscript and the enjoyment I got from writing the out of staying in shape and keeping things neat. He enjoys book once I was able to clear away distractions and focus the early morning. He feels good about being conscientious on the writing. about his job. Now let’s take a look at the two motivational tools and So in the end, it’s not some vague quality (“discipline”) how you can use them to your advantage. that allows him to stick to these habits, but rather the two secrets of motivation: positive public pressure and enjoyment.
Positive Public Pressure
What I Learned From My Experiences
Over the last few years, I’ve been experimenting with achieving various goals, from waking early to exercising to eliminating my debt and living frugally. And what I’ve learned has repeatedly taught me that these two key motivation principles are all you need. I’ve learned other things as well, but the more I stick to my goals, the more I realize that it’s these two themes that keep repeatedly surfacing. It’s almost eerie, actually. Just a few goals as illustration: 6 GO FOR IT
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While pressure is often seen as a bad thing, if used properly, it can actually be a good thing. It’s important that pressure not be applied in a negative way or too intense. Keep things positive and at a manageable intensity and things will move along nicely. Some examples of how to use positive public pressure to motivate yourself: • Tell all your co-workers you’re going to achieve a goal and report to them regularly on your progress. • Email your family and friends and tell them about your goal and ask them to keep you accountable. Email
them regular updates and tell them about your progress when you see them. • Post your goal and a chart of your progress up in your office or other public place.
Enjoy Your Goal Activity
You can motivate yourself to do something you don’t like to do by using positive public pressure as motivation. But if you really don’t enjoy it, you’ll only be able to keep it up for so long. And even if you could do it for months and years, is that something you’d want to do? But what if it’s something you really want to achieve but you don’t enjoy it? There are ways to find enjoyment in most things; the key is to focus on the enjoyable parts. Here are some ways to use this motivational principle to your advantage: • Having trouble motivating yourself to write your blog? Look for topics that excite you. If you find things that you’re passionate about, writing becomes easy. • Having a hard time exercising? Find exercise that’s fun for you. If you don’t like running, try soccer, basketball or rowing. If you don’t like to lift weights, try doing some primal workouts where you flip logs, jump through tires or go hiking. • Is eating healthy food a challenge for you? Find healthy foods you love, experiment with new recipes and have fun testing them out. Find the enjoyable parts of any activity and focus on
Secret number two is incorporating positive public pressure.
those. In time, you can really learn to love them. If not, switch to something you do love and stick to that. These two principles, especially when used together, can be powerful motivators and in most cases, they’re all the motivation I’ve ever needed.
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Walter Ford’s Miraculous Recovery By Bob Cox and the one’s you can do something about. The warm spring day started out like With my bike crash, I never saw it coming every other day for bicycle enthusiast Waland was not expecting it, but in the afterter Ford. While his friends were racing in a math, I needed to figure out how I was gotriathlon, he decided to venture out to the ing to get through it,” explained Walter. foothills near Auburn, CA. While waiting for When it comes to problems that can be his friends at the bottom of Shirland Tract solved, Walter has another unconventional Road, he decided to make the steep climb approach that helped him make an amazing and descent back down at a speed over recovery. “I think some people see a tragic 50mph! When his friends transitioned to the event as one huge problem, an unsolvable bike from the swim at Rattlesnake Bar, he problem that you can’t get over, under or began to ride back up Shirland Tract Road. around. But really, most problems are just a While on this climb, his front carbon forks bunch of small problems that you can nibble snapped off, sending him headfirst into the away at by taking care of the things you can pavement. He was rushed to the hospital After a near fatal bicycle crash, do right away and then let everything else with a laundry list of serious injuries, includ- Walter Ford summoned the strength fall into place,” Walter said. ing a crushed chest, collapsed lung, broken and courage to start a brand new The first few months after the accident ribs, broken and separated shoulder, broken business: Gold River Auto Spa. were the most difficult for Walter because neck and a clavicle that was torn from his along with all the injuries, his kidneys failed chest. Much to Walter’s shock and amazement, the hospital and he had to summon the strength to get up and visit released him the next day! the restroom every 15 minutes. In those agonizing first few I believe the average person could’ve easily been overmonths, just getting out of bed was excruciatingly painful, whelmed by the number and degree of serious injuries, but Walter persevered by breaking the problem down into but Walter has a very unique perspective when it comes small and manageable tasks. to problem solving. One day his younger brother told him During those difficult early weeks of recovery, Walter that he wished he could be more like Walter because probalso found a tremendous source of inspiration and courage lems didn’t seem to be a problem for Walter. from others that were facing even greater adversities. “In “You know, there are only two kinds of problems in the spite all the things that I’ve gone through, I have friends world: The one’s you can’t do anything about, so you don’t that are going through much worse things and I think about them and how they deal with things and it gives me a lot of strength. I have friends with cancer, so in light of what I’m going through, there’s light at the end of my tunnel,” Walter explained. Walter’s amazing outlook on life has served him well, both personally and professionally. He owned and operated a very successful auto repair business in Rancho Cordova for over 10 years and his approach to problem solving was something that made many of his customers fiercely loyal. Just one year after Walter’s bicycle accident, he got the itch to jump back into the business world by filling a glaring need in our community. While he was operating his auto repair business, it was very difficult for him to find a reputable and stable detail shop he could send his customers to. After sharing his idea with several other respected colleagues, who loved his new idea, Walter was encouraged to open up his own detail shop in Rancho Cordova called Gold River Auto Spa.
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Q: How did you come up with the business name Gold River Auto Spa? A: Conceptually, the word spa is very appropriate. When people go to a traditional spa, they feel and look better by rejuvenating themselves. This is the same thing for your car. If you brought your car to us and it is several years old and your paint or interior is a little tired, we can help you by making it look significantly better.
from the sun. We can do a better job because we can take our time.
Q: Are you able to take your system directly to the customer? A: Yes, we have a truck and a trailer. All the equipment that we use inside the building is portable. We will be offering this mobile service to some of the larger companies in the area that want several vehicles cleaned on the same day. The products we use are the best in If your car is looking dead tired, a trip to Gold River Auto Spa can bring Q: Is there a trend for your car back to life. the industry and our custompeople to keep their cars ers will have the option to purlonger? chase them directly from us for future use. A: Yes, I think people are keeping their cars a little longer now, especially the European models. In many cases, Q: What personal qualities do you possess that will taking it in and making it look new again is well worth the help you excel in the auto detail industry? A: In my automotive business, I was known throughout money spent. the BMW community and the racing world as somebody Q: What kinds of damage can happen to a car’s with a very high attention to detail. I’ve always said that if I interior and exterior during the long summer days in like it, I know the customer will like it. And I probably take Sacramento? that to the nth degree in this business because it’s purely A: Sacramento is very hot and we have a very intense appearance. sun presence here, so tinting the windows, even if it’s visually clear, will block over 90% of UV rays that will crack, Editor’s notes: For more information about Gold River Auto Spa, call (916) 399-4198 and ask them fade and heat your interior. So you can make your car more about their pre grand opening specials. comfortable to drive in the summertime just by tinting the windows. Q: What makes you different and unique from other detail shops? A: We are truly a one stop shop. The system we use reclaims all the water back, so it’s very eco friendly. Your car is literally taking a bath in a six inch tall bathtub. The water comes off the car and is pulled into a unit that cleans it, filters it and puts it back through to be used on the next car. The soaps and chemicals we use are all green and organic and no water drains into our sewer systems. Q: So, your system is a very environmentally friendly and efficient way to clean a car, right? A: Correct. And we do it inside so we don’t have to worry about getting it done quickly because of drying time
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Summertime!! Music, Food, Fun... Who could ask for anything more?!?
We totally enjoy that there are so many FREE concerts throughout our area hosted at many neighborhood parks. One of our favorite venues is the Village Green Park in Rancho Cordova. It has a large amphi-theater with plenty of room to spread a picnic and/or dance... Food trucks are on scene so you’ll have everything you need for a fun summer evening out. And if you LOVE jazz, chocolate and/or gelato, Capital Confections is hosting a Gelato and Jazz event in historic Town & Country Village at Fulton & Marconi on Aug. 4 & 5. Also, FREE to attend! Visit BobsPocket.com for links to these and other summer events. ENJOY!! * Visit BobsPocket.com for links to these organizations, Bob’s bio, past blogs, and more!
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Courage is not the absence of fear but doing what you desire in the presence of fear.
By Dr. Moses Simuyemba There is a prison that has an inmate population in the billions. It’s a prison without walls, without barbed wire, without guards and without any physical barrier. But it is the most effective prison in the whole world. Few escape it, but those who do find real and lasting freedom. That prison is in our minds. It is a prison that holds back our initiative, our talent, our ability to express ourselves and, most of all; it holds back the fulfillment of our full potential as human beings. That prison is fear. Our lives today are controlled by fear more than we know. Fear controls the choices we make, our actions, our habits and even our destinies. Fear has become one of the greatest threats to humanity in this day in its many forms. Terrorism has become the pinnacle of fear worldwide. Recent events in the world have shown how fear can drive even those that are powerful to behave desperately and inhumanely. But the effect of fear on our personal lives is more damaging than any terrorist can ever hope to achieve. Fear of life prevents most of us from living. Fear of life? Yes. “Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death.” This observation was made by James F. Bymes. The many faces of fear: In its extremes, fear in our personal lives causes anxiety and phobias. For people with such illnesses, the prison of fear can seem like a death sentence. Their lives may be totally controlled by fear, making life totally miserable and everyday tasks a real struggle. Fortunately, this is not the most common manifestation of fear. 12 GO FOR IT
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Overcoming Fear The far more destructive form of fear is one that we have come to accept because it is so common. I remember very clearly when I was in my first year of college, I met a lot of fellow students that were spreading fear everywhere they went. They would say how difficult the first year of natural science studies was and how badly people were failing the course. They had all the statistics of how many people failed last year and the year before that. They’d say things like “50 people failed that course last year.” What they didn’t tell you was that 400 people passed the same course last year. All the seven years I was at the university were the same. Every year, there were people speaking doom and failure. Often, it showed in the results they got. They were the same people struggling to pass. I, and many others like me, got through it fairly unscathed. We chose to see the 90 percent that passed and not the 10 percent that failed. Fear can stop you from progressing: There are those of you out there with brilliant business ideas, but what holds you back is fear. You think about all the statistics of how many businesses fail every year, or what your friends and family will think of you if you quit your job to pursue your dreams. The fear of not being able to pay your bills, fear of getting fired, fear of starting over and the fear of not having a job title all hold you back. It is fear that keeps most of us in jobs we do not enjoy and, sometimes, that don’t even meet our financial needs. The fear of taking risks is one that few people are able to overcome. Risk is the potential harm that may arise from some present process or from some future event. In every
area of life, risk-taking is a necessary thing. If you propose marriage to someone you have to take the risk that they may say no. If you are in a race you have to take the risk that you may lose miserably. If you want to live life to its fullest, you have to take the risk of failure. Dorothy Thompson once said: “Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live”. Fear will paralyze you if you do not deal with it. It will absolutely stop you from living a life that you desire. Recognize it and conquer it. Eleanor Roosevelt’s advice is that “you gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” There’s nothing to fear but fear itself: I’m sure you have had an experience in the past when you really feared something. After doing it, how did you feel: silly or stupid? The feeling is often one of “that wasn’t so hard after all. I don’t know what I was afraid of.” Trying to fight fear is like trying to fight the dark. You can’t do it. The way to get rid of darkness is to bring in the light. The way to get rid of your fears is to conquer them. “Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it... that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear” ( Dale Carnegie). You can do it today: Go ahead and start that business you want to start. Go ahead and study what you really want to study. Go ahead and become a musician, poet, artist, fashion designer or whatever else you want to do. Sure, you might fail, but you might succeed too. Take the risk today and conquer your fears. Do you want to look back years from now and think I could have or should have? That is a sad way to live your life. The futility of playing it safe: Remember that no matter how “safe” you play it, one fate awaits us all. That is death. Whether you take a risk or not you will die. So of what benefit is it to you to be under the yoke of fear and live a life that is way below your potential? Use your life wisely by freeing your mind from fear and worry. Go for it!
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Car Tech Talk Are You a BMW Enthusiast? By Bob Cox Brett Weshner, a longtime BMW owner sums it up best when he describes the two types of people that drive BMW’s. “There’s the lease owner that buys the warranty and doesn’t really care about maintenance because they plan to give the car back when the lease expires. And then you have the enthusiast, the owner that wants to own and maintain their BMW for as long as they can,” said Brett. During the past 15 years, Brett has been the proud owner of eight BMW’s, three which he still owns. With this information at hand, I think it’s safe to say that Brett belongs to the latter category of BMW enthusiasts. As a longtime lover of the ultimate driving machine, Brett spent over a decade searching for a service and repair shop that not only shared his passion but also had the expertise to keep his cars in top shape and the integrity to look out for his best interests, today and down the road. “I had been to a couple of local shops and never really had a strong trust bond with the people working on my car. I also had some work done at the dealership and while the work was good, it was just ridiculously expensive and I didn’t always believe I had been given an honest shake,” Brett explained. Brett’s luck would change for the better three years ago when he followed up on the positive word of mouth from several of his fellow BMW enthusiasts that endorsed Val-
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ley Motorwerks in Rancho Cordova. “The BMW community is very close, so when I mentioned that I was still looking for an honest and fair shop, I heard the name Valley Motorwerks mentioned several times,” Brett said. So, about three years ago, he decided to give them a shot and has been happy ever since. “I met with Dave Trux, the owner and he was very kind, very reasonable and easy to work with. His recommendations were sound, so I gave him a shot on a decent sized repair and I was really happy with the quality of service and I found his pricing to be very fair. I was very, very happy with my results,” explained Brett. According to Brett, the superior level of service and reasonable prices lifts Valley Motorwerks head and shoulders above the rest. “Their technicians are very knowledgeable and deeply invested in their clients cars. They go beyond the initial repair or service by thoroughly examining your vehicle and making recommendations for you to keep in mind today and down the road,” said Brett. Editor’s notes: Dave Trux is the owner of Valley Motorwerks. He can be reached at his shop, which is located at 11403 White Rock Road in Rancho Cordova, CA. His phone number is (916) 636-9526 and his website is www.vmwerks.com.
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