CONNECT: Can You Feel The Power of Love? (Winter 2022)

THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL

by Tiffany Kelly Williams

I’m sitting in my hotel room ready to officially kick-off my self-love solo birthday trip. Since checking into the hotel, I’ve found myself crying as I passed through places that reminded me of my dad who is no longer with me in the physical realm. I’ve had feelings of joy for actually driving four hours without experiencing an anxiety attack. And I’ve experienced sorrow as I recalled moments past and present when I haven’t done the best job of practicing selflove.

As those thoughts come, I can hear my therapist telling me to reframe my thoughts. So, instead, I say, “Tiffany, you’re doing a great job. You’re making strides to love you every day. You’ve learned from your mistakes and I’m proud of you, girlie! Look at how far you’ve come!”

A NEW START

In 2005, I made a decision to move to Georgia for a new start. I was 29 years old and had spent my life living for everyone else. I had spent countless hours each day helping my dad run several family businesses, and these businesses were my life! My dad expected me to be there almost every day, and because he depended on me, I never told him no. I was also the one my mom, family, and friends depended on. I constantly placed their needs before mine.

Finally, after experiencing another hurtful relationship, I decided to pack up my studio apartment in my mom’s house in New York, leave my new job coaching teachers, leave my family, let go of relationships and everything that was comfortable and familiar to relocate to Georgia. I was tired and I wanted to experience really being on my own and to discover new opportunities.

This was the first phase of my self-love journey, the first time I consciously took intentional actions to HONOR MYSELF. I had to make a decision that it was time to choose me, to choose happiness, and to choose self-love. It was my time and I had to trust that my family and friends would be okay.

DISCOVERING WHO I AM

During the first few years in Georgia, I struggled with being away from family and friends. I got involved in relationships that didn’t serve me, I ate away my problems, and I didn’t feel beautiful underneath my smile. I soon found myself stressed out, thirty-plus pounds heavier than when I moved, on two high blood pressure meds (and the doctors had already written me off as someone who would never get off), and trying to let go of the remnants of another failed relationship.

But, in 2007, a plane ride from a conference in St. Louis forever changed my life. I was talking to a co-worker who shared a sad story about the death of her mother due to years of being on medications for high blood pressure – medications that took a serious toll on her organs. I knew then it was time to make a vital change and right then set a mission to make better choices to improve my health and wellbeing.

This next phase of my selflove/self-care journey not only changed my life but it catapulted me into my Godgiven assignment of helping others on their wellness journeys. Over the next few years not only did I lose eighty plus pounds but I learned to love myself more, practice self-compassion, give myself grace, and understand my triggers. I began to love what I saw even more when I looked in the mirror.

BECOMING FLAWLESS

In 2020, I connected with a holistic doctor, who became my coach and mentor. She helped me discover that while I had changed my physical appearance, become healthier, and improved my mindset, there was yet another level of self-love/selfcare to work on within.

During my journey with the coach, I adopted new practices that helped me improve my mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being. I learned to incorporate meditation, true quiet time with God, consistent journaling, and daily gratitude in order to stay grounded and to love on myself. Meditation, along with prayer, has truly helped me improve my struggles with anxiety and depression. Journaling helps me express myself and process things that are going on in my head.

I kept seeing my therapist to help me continue to unpack and process past and current challenges. I learned to use affirmations to quiet negative chatter and help me stay positive. And, I now say “no” more, create boundaries (this is an ongoing process, lol), sleep and rest (love my couch and a good show), take walks in nature, and have monthly massage appointments. I’m also learning to let go of people and things that steal my peace.

Some weeks and days I’m better at the journey than others and I’m grateful! I love me from the inside out, flaws and all.

THE WORK CONTINUES…

So what is self-love? For me, self-love is a journey that requires intentional actions to truly honor yourself. It’s learning how to be kind and compassionate to yourself, give grace to yourself, and prioritize YOUR NEEDS. It’s the thing that catapults you to your highest potential.

Everyone’s self-love journey is personal and no one’s journey looks the same. It’s a process and there are levels. Most importantly, we must enjoy every aspect of the journey, be kind to ourselves, and CHOOSE OURSELVES today and every day!