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APRIL 14-20, 2021 VOLUME 17, NUMBER 15
10 5500 Adams Farm Lane Suite 204 Greensboro, NC 27407 Office 336-316-1231
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Fax 336-316-1930 Publisher CHARLES A. WOMACK III publisher@yesweekly.com EDITORIAL Editor CHANEL DAVIS chanel@yesweekly.com YES! Writers IAN MCDOWELL
ALBION TOURGÉE, the novelist, journalist, and judge who helped organize the founding of Bennett College was called a race traitor by the creator of Uncle Remus. Tourgée was a wounded Union officer turned Reconstruction politician who settled in Greensboro in 1865. There, his advocacy for Black rights made him what one newspaper called “the most hated man in the state.” Tourgée’s ideals, and his hostility towards the defeated Confederacy, drew him to Radical Reconstruction.
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Earlier this year, NFTs were in almost every headline, from Grimes making $6 million from her NFTs to artist Beeple raking in an impressive $69 million in March, making him “among the top three most valuable living artists,” according to Christie’s auction house. But what the heck is all the buzz around NFTs anyway? 5 On April 22, the University of North Carolina of the Arts (UNCSA) in Winston-Salem will present the world premiere of Waiting in the Wings, a new dance film choreographed by the noted award-winner Larry Keigwin, which was filmed entirely in downtown WinstonSalem and on the UNCSA main campus. 6 MOUNTAIN VALLEY has assisted over 20,000 people since opening its first office 37 years ago, and today their service area includes 18 counties in North Carolina and Virginia. Earlier this month, the agency opened an office in Winston-Salem. 7 According to research from WinstonSalem State University, Forsyth County is one of the worst in the country for ECONOMIC MOBILITY. Despite overall strong economic growth, our poorest residents are continually left behind.
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After a year in the dark, venues are beginning to bloom, with LIVE SHOWS returning to stages and event calendars across the Triad. 13 Greensboro novelist JAMES TATE HILL and the University of North CarolinaGreensboro (UNCG) Creative Program Director Terry Kennedy will be taking part in online lectures and discussions at the 2021 Online Spring Conference, joint-hosted by the North Carolina Writers’ Network, the UNCG MFA Program in Creative Writing, and the Arts Council of Winston-Salem and Forsyth County. 14 MYRA CHANEL makes her debut with the “MYRA” EP, out now via streaming platforms. “I am not passive, baby, I get active,” said the rapper and model— who, as they put it, “might be the next Madonna.” “My main motivation to make music is to create what I believe is missing from the current landscape,” Chanel explained of their release, just in time for Aries season. “My main goal with developing my sound is to find the sweet spot of what I want to hear and what other people want to hear.”
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Triad artists explore the prospect of NFTs
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’all remember Nyan Cat? Ten years ago, a video (or gif, if you saw it on Tumblr) of a cute pixilated half-cat, half-cherry Pop-Tart bounced Katie Murawski through space on a rainbow while the Contributor song, “Nyanyanyanyanyanyanya” by Japanese artist Daniwell-P played in the background appeared on YouTube and captured the zeitgeist of the 2011 Meme Renaissance. Well, apparently, that’s a non-fungible token (NFT) now— and an expensive one at that, because according to the New York Times, it was recently sold by creator Chris Torres for almost $600,000. Earlier this year, NFTs were in almost every headline, from Grimes making $6 million from her NFTs to artist Beeple
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raking in an impressive $69 million in March, making him “among the top three most valuable living artists,” according to Christie’s auction house. But what the heck is all the buzz around NFTs anyway? Two artists from the Triad and surrounding area explain what NFTs are and what this brave new world for art could mean for small-time local artists. Digital artist Zach McCraw of WinstonSalem considers himself “an old impressionist,” who thrives in the country surrounded by nature. “I’m sure it might seem paradoxical to love the natural world and then want to create art digitally, but it’s precisely my respect for nature that encourages me to develop more sustainable art practices,” McCraw wrote in an email. “I found canvas painting to be too limiting, and I wanted to produce my ideas much more quickly, so I developed my own style of painting using my iPhone. What comes forth from my fingertips are surreal pop polyforms.” Renee Russell, a Graham-based digital artist, wrote in an email that she’s in-
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spired by her love of pop culture and the macabre. “I create bright simplified skulls of pop culture characters such as Harry Potter, He-Man, and Ursula (to name a few),” she wrote. “My work is created as digital vector art.” According to McCraw and Russell, an NFT is “an authenticated digital media item,” added to the blockchain— examples include a digitally crafted image, song file, video, gif, or photograph. “Non-fungible basically means it is one of a kind,” Russell wrote. “When the token (digital item or asset) is uploaded, it is given a unique digital code; it’s essentially a certificate of authenticity attached to the item.” “Essentially, most forms of digital media can be ‘minted,’ which means that the media has an authentic code attached to it on the blockchain and then can be sold and traded on NFT marketplaces like Opensea, Rarible, and Foundation, among others,” McCraw noted. “The cryptocurrency Ethereum (ETH) is used to mint or purchase an NFT.” Additionally, McCraw noted that someone selling an NFT could provide unlockable physical content. “So, you could buy an NFT that would include the digital token (the NFT file itself), and a physical item like a pair of shoes would be delivered to you, all using cryptocurrency in the rising [decentralized finance] network.” So why is this form of art cryptocurrency exciting for artists? “Until now, you had digital artists like myself that have created large bodies of digital art that could never be monetized individually like tangible works of art,” McCraw explained. “NFTs accredit worth to digital art— it absolutely legitimizes an entire field of art like never before! For an artist like myself that has thousands of paintings, it’s revolutionary.” “To me, it gives digital art, such as video, gifs, digital illustration, the same prominence as traditional art (painting, sculpture, etc.) has received,” Russell noted. “It also allows more artists to make money with their art; artists can sell directly to collectors, and they can also receive royalties on the art as it gets sold in the future. This aspect also allows collectors to invest in artists, and hopefully will turn the narrative of the ‘starving artist.’” McCraw wrote that as the market grows, he believes that collectors will seek out and support digital artists “with a history of digital exploration and unique
styles that lie outside popular trends. I would encourage someone looking to collect NFTs to find an artist whose work speaks to them and collect out of the love for the art/artist. It will be us career artists that will exemplify innovation, tenacity, and longevity for years to come as this market grows.” Both McCraw and Russell have minted their NFTs— McCraw wrote that folks could find his over 160 paintings on the marketplace site Opensea, and the works are priced anywhere from 0.0065 ETH ($10) to 10 ETH ($15,800). “On April 1, I released ten digital paintings on Opensea as the first edition of a spring-inspired NFT collection titled ‘Primavera,’” McCraw wrote. “I’m going to randomly release new paintings into this collection until summer. In a week or so, I’m going to offer ‘mystery paintings,’ in which the NFT collector will be able to unlock the hidden painting once they purchase the NFT.” “My NFT series is a rework of my previous pop culture skull illustrations, and they are offered as exclusive one-of-akind NFTs,” Russell wrote. “The series resembles trading cards, this makes it a fun way to keep track of the info and allow for fun variants in the future.” Folks can find Russell’s pieces on Mintable.app, but she does not have any pieces for sale at the moment. “I’d love to get on to Foundation (which is invite-only); Mintable is free to mint, so there are no upfront costs, but the market is saturated. With a site like Foundation, I’d have a better opportunity of getting my art in front of people.” McCraw wrote that he looks forward to navigating the growing NFT market, connecting with collectors, and building a community around this emerging economy. He also noted that he has plans to open his own NFT gallery and help other digital artists gain exposure. “There is a lot of exciting work to be done, and the future looks extremely promising.” ! KATIE MURAWSKI is the former editor-in-chief of YES! Weekly. Her alter egos include The Grimberlyn Reaper, skater/public relations’ board chair for Greensboro Roller Derby, and Roy Fahrenheit, drag entertainer and selfproclaimed King of Glamp.
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Check out McCraw’s other works on Instagram @ marigold_lime and @zach_mccraw. Keep up with Russell on her blog.
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flicks
Drag race: To Wong Foo drops into the drive-in
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instonSalem’s “OUT at the Movies” screening series dips into the past for a big-screen spring fling, presenting the 1995 comedy hit To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Mark Burger Julie Newmar at Marketplace Cinema’s Drive-In, 2095 Peters Contributor Creek Parkway, Winston-Salem, on April 24. Gates will open at 7:15 p.m., and the show will begin at approximately 8:15 p.m. Refreshments will be available for purchase. Tickets are $20 (general admission) and
$30 (VIP admission) and can be purchased at https://outatthemovies.org/ or https:// mpcwsdrivein.simpletix.com/. Directed by Beeban Kidron, To Wong Foo follows three New York drag queens – Noxeema Jackson (Wesley Snipes), Vida Boheme (Patrick Swayze), and Chi-Chi Rodriguez (John Leguizamo) – as they embark on a cross-country road trip in a 1967 Cadillac DeVille to participate in the annual “Miss Drag Queen of America Pageant” in Hollywood. En route, they stop off in a small town where the residents aren’t exactly certain what to make of their flamboyant visitors. In addition to the comic hijinks that occur from this culture shock – on both sides – To Wong Foo offers a simple but perennially relevant message about self-acceptance and the acceptance of others. A sleeper
hit that grossed over $45 million in the United States alone, the film became a huge success on home-video and earned both Swayze and Leguizamo Golden Globe nominations. The film, which is rated PG-13, also features a star-studded supporting cast including Stockard Channing, Blythe Danner, Chris Penn, Arliss Howard, Melinda Dillon, Jason London, and several cameo appearances, including those of Julie Newmar herself, RuPaul, Quentin Crisp, and Robin Williams as a car salesman named “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.” Having enjoyed considerable success with last year’s Marketplace Drive-In screening of the 1996 comedy smash The Birdcage, “I think To Wong Foo is a fun movie that our audience will enjoy, whether viewing it for the first time, second or more,” observed Rex
Taking flight: UNCSA premieres dance film Waiting in the Wings On April 22, the University of North Carolina of the Arts (UNCSA) in Winston-Salem will present the world premiere of Waiting in the Wings, a new dance film choreographed by the noted award-winner Larry Keigwin, which was filmed entirely in downtown Winston-Salem and on the UNCSA main campus. The production, which premieres during UNCSA’s annual Next/New Scholarship Benefit, will be held virtually at 8 p.m. April 22, and then will be available on-demand the following day. Tickets for the benefit, which includes the full presentation, exclusive behind-the-scenes footage, special gifts, and treats, are available for $250 per household and can be purchased here: https://www.uncsa.edu/giving/events/ nextnow/index.aspx. In addition to the School of Dance, Waiting in the Wings also shines a spotlight on other educational disciplines at UNCSA. Selections from popular Broadway musicals will be performed by students in the School of Drama, a segment from Photona – a multimedia lighting and projection show – was created by the School of Design & Production, William Grant Still’s “African Dancer” Suite for Violin and Piano will be performed by students in the School of Music, and there will be an animated short film produced by students in the School of Filmmaking. “Larry Keigwin brought forward-thinking vision and energized optimism to our dancers and crew with his masterful direcWWW.YESWEEKLY.COM
tion and visually stunning choreography,” praised Jared Redick, interim dean of the UNCSA School of Dance. “His skills as a dance maker for film make him one of the leading voices in the digital space, and the School of Dance is proud to have his original commissioned piece serve as a capstone for our graduating class of contemporary dancers.” For theater buffs, the title “waiting in the wings” is a common one for performers just before they make their entrance in the performing space. Keigwin also likens it to the current situation of citizens living in a pandemic-era world. “Waiting in the Wings is really the excitement and anticipation of the performance, (and) I also think it’s a nice metaphor for our lives now,” he said. He also has the highest regard for the dancers he worked with. “I never saw them as students,” he said. “They were like company dancers. They have really given 100% of their focus. Just as much as this (Zoom) is a new medium for me, it is for them as well. They’re on an exploration, and it’s fun to watch that and to learn together with them.” Following its April 22nd premiere, Waiting in the Wings will be available the next day at UNCSA On Demand: https://www.uncsa. edu/performances/on-demand/index.aspx. For more information about current and upcoming events at UNCSA, visit the official website: https://www.uncsa.edu/. ! See MARK BURGER’s reviews of current movies on Burgervideo.com. © 2021, Mark Burger.
Welton, co-founder and director of the “OUT at the Movies” annual film festival and screening series. “John Leguizamo, Wesley Snipes, and Patrick Swayze are hilarious.” “We had a great turnout for our 2020 screening of The Birdcage at Marketplace, and we are expecting the same on April 24th with To Wong Foo,” he said. “Partnering with (general manager) Zack Fox and his team at Marketplace Cinemas has been a great opportunity, and OUT at the Movies looks forward to mere screenings there, in our post-pandemic future.” The 2021 “OUT at the Movies” festival is scheduled to take place Sept. 23-26, and the decision will be made what kind of festival – in-person, digital, or hybrid – on July 1. For more information, call (336)9180902, e-mail rex@outatthemovies.org, or visit https://outatthemovies.org/. !
#iHEARTARTSMONTH
April 1-30, 2021
celebrate with us! THIS YEAR, THE ARTS NEED YOUR HELP MORE OR THAN EVER.
ARTSGREENSBORO A
PUBLIC P A ART scavenger sc r hunt Show your love by participating in this free DIY event and support the annual ArtsFund. You have the whole month of April to explore the amazing art in our city, answer challenges, gain points, and win prizes. Fun for the whole family!
VISIT ARTSGREENSBORO.ORG FOR INFO AND TO REGISTER SPONSORED BY: SPONSO
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Mountain Valley Hospice expands services
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can tell you from personal experience that hospice care is a blessing, and the professionals who administer that care are angels. Traditional hospice care is available Jim Longworth to anyone who is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has Longworth six months or less to at Large live. In that regard, end-of-life care typically seeks to keep the patient comfortable and pain-free after aggressive medical treatments have been suspended. Hospice care also helps to facilitate quality time that the patient can spend with loved ones. And while it’s true that a serious illness can lead to the need for hospice care, it’s also true that some such illnesses can be treated and managed for years before hospice care is indicated or appropriate. That’s why Mountain Valley Hospice & Palliative Care
Community leaders and Mountain Valley Hospice officials get ready to cut the ribbon at its newest location has just expanded its services and facilities to help patients who can benefit from longer-term comfort care. Mountain Valley has cared for over 20,000 hospice patients since opening its first office 37 years ago, and today their service area includes 18 counties in North Carolina and Virginia. Earlier this month,
the agency opened an office in WinstonSalem dedicated to serving patients with a serious illness. “Over the years, we’ve witnessed a growing need to reach and serve a widening population of patients facing serious illnesses, such as heart disease, lung disease, dementia, and cancer,” said Mountain Valley President and CEO Tracey Dobson. “The opening of this office reflects the organization’s commitment to ensure that patients with serious illnesses have access to high-quality palliative care services, which can extend the life of the patient by months or even years.” “Serious illness services are for patients who have a very advanced illness that is upstream from hospice. They may be struggling with symptoms or with making deci-
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sions about what they want to have done for their healthcare,” said Kristie Szarpa, senior director of practice management for Mountain Valley. “It’s a complex process and, it can be a very long journey, sometimes over many years, and so to walk that journey alone is a heavy load to bear.” Mountain Valley’s serious illness team includes doctors, nurse practitioners, registered nurses, chaplains, and social workers. And, unlike end-of-life hospice care, palliative services for patients with a serious illness allow for traditional medical treatments to continue. “All of your specialists, all of your interventions you might have such as chemotherapy or surgery, all that stays in place, and we are a supplement. We are another layer of the medical team to bring support, and our focus is a bit less on the disease and a bit more on the symptoms,” said Szarpa. Mountain Valleys’ new office is located at 3069 Trenwest Drive in Winston-Salem, and anyone with a serious illness is invited to make an appointment to discuss a palliative care plan. “As with our hospice services, you don’t need a physician referral to set up a consultation to talk about serious illness services. The patient or their family members can call us directly,” said Dobson. Hospice and serious illness services are covered by most insurance, but, as a nonprofit agency, Mountain Valley will not turn anyone away who is in need of care and cannot pay. For more information, call (888) 789-2922 or visit www.mtnvalleyhospice.org ! JIM LONGWORTH is the host of Triad Today, airing on Saturdays at 7:30 a.m. on ABC45 (cable channel 7) and Sundays at 11 a.m. on WMYV (cable channel 15).
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Next Step for Achieving Equity: Dismantle High-Poverty Public Schools BY COALITION FOR EQUITY IN PUBLIC EDUCATION The School Choice application season for children starting kindergarten for the 2021-22 school year in Winston-Salem/ Forsyth County Schools will end April 23, 2021. Also, in 2021, district staff are preparing the first major review of its Student Assignment Plan since School Choice was implemented in 1995. School Choice impacts every resident in our community, not only those with school-aged children. According to research from Winston-Salem State University, Forsyth County is one of the worst in the country for economic mobility. Despite overall strong economic growth, our poorest residents are continually left behind. A study of our public school assignment process revealed a correlating factor: “generations of poor academic mobility.” The problem may begin with School Assignments. The way the current system works, students are guaranteed a seat in their residential school. Students can also apply to other schools in their residential choice zone and will be given a seat in their top choice school if available, or they can apply to a county-wide magnet school. The promise is that everyone has equal access to the best schools. However, the Choice system is complicated, and typically only the most networked parents secure the best opportunities. Is it worth the trouble to navigate what can be a complex, competitive maze? Yes. Making a good choice early in elementary school can determine a child’s access to educational opportunities for the rest of their public school career. Parents who send a child to their residential school simply by default may have “chosen” the riskiest option of all because elementary schools in Forsyth County are profoundly unequal in the opportunities they offer. Nearly half of the elementary schools in Forsyth County have earned school performance grades of D or F from the N.C. Department of Public Instruction. Every residential choice zone has at least one low-performing elementary school where poverty is concentrated, teacher turnover is high, and academic targets are set so low that the majority of students remain behind by a grade level or more, even as the school celebrates “meeting growth.” While students can still excel in these WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM
schools, many families learn too late that their child never received proper academic foundations for opportunities such as magnet or honors-track courses once they transition to middle school. Then, upon entering high school, students might suddenly discover doors that are open to others but closed to them. Once again, it all goes back to the track they were placed on in elementary school. Immobility in our community can start as early as kindergarten. Over the past month, the “Coalition FOR EQUITY In Public Education” has been meeting with members of the WS/ FC School Board’s School Choice committee. Most acknowledged Choice has segregated our schools and expressed a willingness to modify School Assignment to address the problem. However, these School Board members were reluctant to stop the practice of concentrating poverty, even though they acknowledged an existing framework was in place for designated high-poverty schools. The focus of these high-poverty schools is to provide “wraparound services”—non-academic supports aimed at serving needs typical of Economically Disadvantaged Students (EDS). It is well established that segregating children to serve needs unrelated to individual academic ability does not advance equity. Instead, it restricts access to academic opportunities offered to their peers. Test scores show that all students, not just EDS, benefit from more diverse classrooms. In terms of equity, concentrating poverty is a huge move in the opposite direction and makes it increasingly certain that those who lag behind—stay behind. If equity is to be achieved in WS/FCS, the “Coalition FOR EQUITY In Public Education” believes a primary step is eliminating high concentrations of poverty in our public schools by establishing a limit on the percentage of Economically Disadvantaged Students enrolled at any one school in the district. While the Coalition believes a 55% maximum is appropriate for all schools, it is most critical at the elementary level. The many benefits of adopting this standard include: Fostering more integrated learning environments. Improving academic outcomes. Advancing greater social and emotional learning.
Serving the greater good of our county and community.
Parents enrolling their children in the WS/FCS district may have a difficult choice to make in the weeks ahead—a choice that will have a lasting impact. The responsibility, however, for
dismantling an inequitable, unjust, and prejudiced system is up to WS/FCS district leadership. Ultimately, School Assignment is the district’s choice, not parents’. This year, the choice that matters most will be the one made by our School Board. !
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[NEWS OF THE WEIRD] GOVERNMENT IN ACTION
Most citizens of Brussels, Belgium, have never seen the Palace of Justice, the largest courthouse in the world, without construction scaffolding surrounding Chuck Shepherd it, as renovations on the facade of the iconic building have been mired in red tape and bureaucratic incompetence for most of 40 years, according to The Bulletin. In mid-March, construction crews finally started work, but not on the building; they arrived to shore up the scaffolding, which has grown outdated and dangerous over so much time. Officials assert this will allow outside renovations to finally commence and predict the scaffolding will come down by 2030. Belgians, however, are skeptical.
THE PASSING PARADE
Authorities in Sri Lanka arrested Caroline Jurie, the reigning Mrs. World, after she snatched the crown from the head of Pushpika De Silva as she was crowned
Mrs. Sri Lanka on national television on April 4, allegedly injuring her. Jurie, the 2019 Mrs. Sri Lanka, claimed De Silva was a divorced woman, which made her ineligible to win the pageant, but organizers confirmed De Silva is only separated, and she has been re-crowned. The new queen reported on Facebook that she went to the hospital to be treated for head injuries after the incident, and police spokesman Ajith Rohana told the BBC Jurie was charged with “simple hurt and criminal cause.” Pageant director Chandimal Jayasinghe said, “It was a disgrace how Caroline Jurie behaved on the stage.”
ALL IN THE FAMILY
At a wedding in Suzhou, Jiangsu Province in China on March 31, the groom’s mother noticed a birthmark on the bride’s hand that was similar to one belonging to her long-lost daughter. When asked, the bride’s parents admitted they had found her as a baby by the side of the road and taken her to live with them as their own — a secret they had never told. The Daily Star reported that upon hearing of the connection, the bride burst into tears, saying the moment was “happier than the wedding day itself.” Bonus: The groom
was also adopted, so their marriage could proceed as planned.
JOB OF A RESEARCHER
Scientists studying ticks at A.T. Still University in Kirksville, Missouri, have enlisted the help of the Missouri Department of Conservation in asking the public to refrain from killing any ticks they pick off themselves and mail them to the university instead. Conservation department spokesman Francis Skalicky told KY3-TV that, while 14 species of ticks live in Missouri, “we’re trying to find out ... the prevalence of species and more information on the diseases they are carrying.” He asks people to put ticks in a zip-close bag with a damp paper towel before sending them in for study.
LOST AND FOUND
Cybill Moore of Weatherford, Texas, was puzzled by the large basket of men’s dirty laundry left on her front porch, along with a bag of laundry soap and dryer sheets, on March 26. Assuming there’d been a mixup, she left it on the porch for a day and posted on social media sites to find the owner, with no luck, she told the Weatherford Democrat, so she finally just washed,
dried and folded the clothes. That’s when a strange man showed up at the door saying he meant to drop the laundry four houses down, where he pays a woman to clean his clothes. Moore said he was shocked that she had laundered the items for him, and now, “A lot of people have joked about dropping off their clothes for me, since I’m doing ‘community laundry.’”
DISTURBING THE PEACE
Neighbors around a new luxury condo tower in Brooklyn, New York, are up in arms, and up at night, because of the persistent, shrill whistle they say is coming from the building, reported NBC New York. The city has been inundated with complaints. “It almost sounds like the subway screeching, but it’s constant, and it usually happens late at night,” Chris Valentini said of the noise. A representative of the developer told neighbors the sound originates from wind whipping around the new metal balconies. “This is not uncommon in new buildings,” he said, “and we will resolve it.” !
© 2021 Chuck Shepherd. Universal Press Syndicate. Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.
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Color-Blind Justice
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lbion Tourgée, the novelist, journalist, and judge who helped organize the founding of Bennett College was called a race traitor by the creator of Uncle Remus. Ian McDowell Tourgée was a wounded Union officer turned ReconYES! Writer struction politician who settled in Greensboro in 1865. There, his advocacy for Black rights made him what one newspaper called “the most hated man in the state.” Tourgée’s ideals, and his hostility towards the defeated Confederacy, drew him to Radical Reconstruction. The enfranchisement of Black voters in 1867 created a political opportunity, and Tourgée was elected to the North Carolina Constitutional Convention of 1868, where his promotion of political, legal, and economic reform made him one of its most influential delegates. Following the 1871 impeachment of governor William Woods Holden for attempting to prosecute the Ku Klux Klan, Tourgée found himself not only increasingly unwelcome but in danger in the state where he was increasingly denounced as a “carpetbagger” and “scalawag.” With the “Compromise” of 1877, a corrupt Washington backroom deal that made Rutherford B. Hayes the 19th U.S. President, Tourgée realized that Reconstruction and was dead and that he’d never hold another political or judicial office in the South. He moved to Colorado, where he published his bestselling A Fool’s Errand, by One of the Fools. Sales of that novel rivaled those of Uncle Tom’s Cabin and Little Women. Its most famous chapter was inspired by the death of Tourgée’s friend Wyatt Outlaw, the Black Union veteran and Graham police officer murdered by the Klan in 1870. Tourgée was the first white novelist to describe a lynching, as well as the first of any ethnicity to describe the victim as being hanged (in the 1853 novel Clotel, or the President’s Daughter, escaped slave turned Abolitionist writer and historian William Wells Brown described a rebellious slave burned at the stake). Tourgée’s status as a bestselling novelist who, rather than celebrating the antebellum South, exhorted Blacks to arm themselves against the Klan, earned him condemnation from some white southern authors and critics. Reviewing Tourgée’s 1890 novel Pactolus Prime in the Atlanta YES! WEEKLY
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Journal, Joel Chandler Harris accused him of displaying “a narrow, burning hatred” of white people and rhetorically asked if Tourgée was “a monomaniac; or a refugee from his race?” Ten years earlier, Harris had published Uncle Remus: His Songs and Sayings, the first of nine collections of stories based on African-American folklore that would inspire Disney’s Song of the South. Harris was considered a progressive in his era and editorialized against lynching, but was shocked by Tourgée’s belief that Blacks should take up “Winchesters and torches” to battle the disenfranchisement and de facto slavery becoming status quo throughout the 1890s South. Before examining Tourgée’s most significant and lasting achievements, which resulted in his being credited with creating the concept of color-blind justice, here’s a closer look at his life before he left the state where he was in danger of being lynched. North Carolina’s history textbooks have traditionally paid more attention to Confederates stationed here during the Civil War than Tarheels who fought for the United States, much less postwar Yankees who moved here to try to honor the promises of Reconstruction. Albion Winegar Tourgée was born in Williamsfield, Ohio, on May 2, 1838, to Methodist parents who had moved west from Massachusetts. His farmer father, Valentine Tourgée, was descended from French Huguenots; his mother Louisa Emma Winegar, who died when he was five, was of Dutch Colonial ancestry. Tourgée enrolled in the University of Rochester in 1859, but showed no interest in politics until the following year, when the university attempted to ban the Wide Awakes. This was a paramilitary youth organization founded by five teenaged store clerks in Hartford, Ohio, in March of 1960, after hearing Lincoln speak there against the spread of slavery and for the right of workers to strike. By September of that year, the organization numbered in the tens of thousands and drove Republican voter registration among young Northerners. Tourgée took on the university’s administration and reached a compromise
that kept students who joined the organization from being expelled. Between December of 1860 and June of the next year, 11 Southern states seceded over their belief that Lincoln and the Republicans were going to abolish slavery. Tourgée enlisted in the 27th New York Volunteer Infantry before completing his studies and was awarded an A.B. degree in absentia in June 1862. He suffered a spine injury in the First Battle of Bull Run, which left him with temporary paralysis and a permanent back problem. Recovered sufficiently to return to the war, he was commissioned as a first lieutenant in the 105th Ohio Volunteer Infantry. Wounded at the Battle of Perryville, he continued to fight (and as was true of the United States Army in the early days of the southern insurgency, to retreat). Tourgée was captured near Murfreesboro, Tennessee, on January 21, 1863, and was held in Richmond’s Libby Prison until freed via prisoner exchange in May of 1863. He fought at Chickamauga and Chattanooga but resigned his commission on December 6, 1863, due to pressure from superiors concerned about his health. Returning to Ohio, he married his child-
hood sweetheart, Emma Doiska Kilbourne. They had one child. When explaining why he became such a strong advocate for civil rights, Tourgée always credited his service in the wartime United States Army. Although he’d grown up in a region strongly against slavery, he’d never thought African-Americans his equals until he observed the bravery, resourcefulness, and political awareness of the freed slaves who flocked to his regiment. Furthermore, he said his four months as a prisoner of the southern insurgency gave him a glimpse of what “bondage” really meant, although he acknowledged that, this early in the war, white Yankee POWs had it better than slaves. With Emma and her extended family, he settled in Guilford County in October 1865, six months after Lee surrendered to Grant at Appomattox. The Tourgées leased a 750-acre farm and agricultural nursery from Cyrus Mendenhall just outside Greensboro’s city limits. For his nursery business, Tourgée hired former slaves at good wages, and gave them financial and legal assistance to help them buy their own land. He set up a Freedman’s school on his family’s property, where Emma and her family worked as teachers. In its entries on both Tourgée and Bennett College, Wikipedia states that this was the Black normal school for teacher training that would become Bennett, citing Historically Black Colleges and Universities: An Encyclopedia and Mark Elliott’s Color-Blind
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Justice: Albion Tourgée and the Quest for Racial Equality. After the latter book was reviewed in the July 29, 2007 issue of the News and Record, Bennett alumna Zepplyn S. Humphrey wrote a letter to the editor taking exception to this claim and pointing out, “Nowhere in the history of the college does the name of Albion Tourgée appear.” The newspaper contacted Elliott, who wrote: “I am not ready to say for certain whether I am right or wrong — but I do think I made an error not to qualify my statement with some note of uncertainty. I have read in secondary sources that Tourgée had an association with Bennett College, and I know that there is at least an oral ‘tradition’ that he participated in the founding. The best authority I know, Otto Olsen, wrote in his 1965 biography of Tourgée that: ‘Tourgée was an active member of the northern Methodist Episcopal Church ... and helped it found a short-lived seminary for whites at High Point and a Negro school (at which Tourgée reputedly taught) that later became Bennett College for Negro Women.’” While Tourgée may have imagined himself as a sort of model for Black and white cooperation in the new south, events soon made him take a more activist role. When former Vice President Andrew Johnson succeeded the murdered Lincoln as President, Johnson expressed a desire for a swift restoration of the pre-war union. Emboldened by this sympathy from the Oval Office, the South’s former slave-holding class attempted to nullify emancipation through a series of Draconian Black Codes guaranteeing that the former slaves would remain a captive labor force. Congress reacted by mandating that the former slave states must hold conventions to rewrite their constitutions, and that Blacks must be allowed to elect and be elected as delegates. Simultaneously, Southern Blacks resisted their former owners’ attempts to disenfranchise them by establishing Union Leagues and demanding equal rights, land, education, and protection against de facto re-enslavement. Tourgée stepped into this brewing conflict by joining an interracial Union League chapter in 1866, forming a coalition between African-Americans, poor whites, and Quakers opposed to the aristocracy seeking to regain control of the South. There, he befriended the subject of YES! Weekly’s August 11, 2020 cover story Wyatt Outlaw and the white men who put a monument where they lynched him. Both Tourgée and Outlaw were Radical Republicans; a term that meant the opposite of what it would after the two parties switched places in the political spectrum. They met when Tourgée attended the Equal Rights League’s convention in WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM
Raleigh, where Outlaw was elected to the convention’s board. The board coordinated statewide committees of “colored people” (“colored” could mean Native American as well as Black or biracial). In 1868, Tourgée was elected to represent Guilford County at the Republicandominated state constitutional convention. He successfully advocated for equal political and civil rights for all citizens; ending property qualifications for jury duty and office holding; requiring popular election of all state officers, including judges; founding free public education; and abolishing the use of whipping posts as punishment for persons convicted of crimes. That same year, Tourgée was elected to the 7th District Superior Court as a judge, serving from 1868 to 1874. During this period, he confronted the increasingly violent Ku Klux Klan, which would murder Wyatt Outlaw in front of the Alamance County Courthouse in 1870. Klansmen repeatedly issued threats against Tourgée, whose second term coincided with the campaign of domestic terrorism that would soon overwhelm the South. Despite these threats, Tourgée continued to uphold equal rights in the courtroom. He included Blacks on juries, fined lawyers for using the n-word in court, and set aside guilty verdicts based on prejudice and flimsy evidence. But in 1874, the tsunami of white supremacism, which was destroying Reconstruction and would return the South’s Black citizens to a thinly disguised version of their prewar bondage, cost him reelection. Three years later, he left North Carolina and began his career as a novelist. Neither his first novel, Toinette, nor his second, Figs and Thistles, attracted much notice. But A Fool’s Errand, by One of the Fools, published in late 1879, and its 1889 sequel Bricks Without Straw, sold over
200,000 copies each. Unique among contemporary novels by white men about the South, they were told from the viewpoints of freedmen and dramatized the rise of white supremacy that made their “freedom” a false promise. Although Tourgée’s Uncle Jerry Hunt is more of a sentimentalized supporting character than an active protagonist, the scene in which he is lynched in front of a fictional version of the Alamance County Courthouse shocked and galvanized readers. The 1880 edition of A Fool’s Errand included an appendix, “The Invisible Empire,” that detailed the Klan’s real-life depredations. No other white novelist had written of this, and few would for 50 years. Thomas W. Dixon’s wildly successful The Leopard’s Spots: A Romance of the White Man’s Burden and The Clansman: A Historical Romance of the Ku Klux Klan would instead become the popular culture norm. These early 20th Century bestsellers, which romanticized the “Lost Cause,” opposed equal rights for Blacks and glorified the Klan, were the basis for D. W. Griffith’s blockbuster 1915 film The Birth of a Nation, which in turn inspired the KKK’s 20thcentury rebirth.
Tourgée did not restrict his activism to fiction. He aided African-American investigative journalist, educator, and NAACP-cofounder Ida B. Wells in her 1890s campaign against lynching. This aspect of Tourgée’s life, which deserves an article of its own, is covered in detail in Chapter 5 of Carolyn L. Karcher’s A Refugee from His Race: Albion W. Tourgée and His Fight Against White Supremacy (University of North Carolina Press, 2016). Tourgée’s most lasting contribution to American society happened in 1891 when a group of prominent Black leaders in New Orleans retained his legal services to challenge Louisiana’s “separate but equal” law intended “to promote the comfort of passengers” by maintaining segregated coaches on passenger trains. Tourgée played a strategic role in the challenge and was the lead attorney for Homer Plessy, an “Octaroon” (meaning one-eighth Black ancestry) man chosen by Tourgée and the city’s Black leaders to challenge the law. Tourgée used the term “color blindness” in his briefs. He had used that metaphor on several prior occasions on behalf of the struggle for civil rights. The case went to the U.S. Supreme Court, where Plessy and Tourgée lost. Plessy v. Ferguson is widely regarded (along with Dred Scott v. Sandford) as one of the worst decisions in Supreme Court history. But it was cited as a major precedent in the 1954 Brown v. Board of Education, which found the “separate but equal” doctrine unconstitutional. In 1897, President William McKinley appointed Tourgée as U.S. consul to France. He served there until his death from acute uremia on May 21, 1905, at the age of 67. The kidney damage was believed to be related to his Civil War wounds. His ashes were interred at the Mayville Cemetery in Mayville, New York, where a 12-foot granite obelisk commemorates him with the following inscription: “I pray thee then write me as one that loves his fellow-men.” Tourgée’s life is also commemorated with two historical markers in downtown Greensboro. One, at the intersection of S. Elm and February One, states he helped found Bennett College, describes his career as an N.C. jurist and delegate, mentions A Fool’s Errand, and notes the significance of Plessy v. Ferguson. The other, at Gate City Boulevard near Martin Luther King, Jr. Drive, states: “Union army officer, author, judge. Member of 1868 Convention. Home was 2 blocks S.” ! IAN MCDOWELL is the author of two published novels, numerous anthologized short stories, and a whole lot of nonfiction and journalism, some of which he’s proud of and none of which he’s ashamed of.
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Venues in bloom After a year in the dark, venues are beginning to bloom, with live shows returning to stages and event calendars across the Triad. “We’re excited to be re-opening this weekend and welcoming our staff and patrons back,” said Andy Tennille from The Ramkat. While they’ve enjoyed developing their “Home Sweet Home” Livestream Katei Cranford series during the shutdown, it’s clear: there’s truly nothing like real, live performances. Even if they may Contributor look different at first. The Ramkat will officially reopen Friday night with two rounds of the Vagabond Saints’ Society covering Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers’ iconic album “Damn The Torpedoes.” “VSS opened The Ramkat in March 2018, and we’re happy that they’re coming back to re-open the room three years later,” Tennille noted. An early show and late show with pod-ticketing will be their norm for now. The Sam Fribush Organ Trio, featuring Charlie Hunter, is scheduled for the Ramkat on Saturday, with upcoming shows from artists like Spirit System, Winston-Satan, and Withdrew on the books for the main room and its smaller sister venue, the Gas Hill Drinking Room, the following week. In Greensboro, Strictly Social is celebrating their return with the “Back. II. Life.” festival, wherein the electropartymakers are taking over Center City Park on Saturday with what, according to organizers, “will be a supreme day-party-to-late-night function on the intimate oval garden, featuring a hot fire lineup of high-energy dance music and bands like Black Haüs.” The event includes muralists, vendors, live t-shirt
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Monstercade’s third-base drive-in screenings, food trucks, and a photo booth, while DJs Sam Gittis, Freddie Fred, Alvin Shavers, GBP£, Christian Summers, and Chaos Control will blast house music through the evening. A nightcap after-party on the patio at Boxcar Arcade will follow. Smaller stages are also getting back in the hosting game. “Friday Reggae Vibes” returned to the Artist Bloc on April 2. At the Flat Iron, DJ Prez Parks (from the “In the Beat of the Night” radio) has begun hosting the “Off-Beat Tuesday” weekly record party; and the Flat Iron show calendar is filling with acts like Veteran Eye, DJ Damu w/ Mr. Rozzi and Profit Jahwawa on April 20. In movie news, the Carolina Classic summer movie series will return to the Carolina Theatre, starting with “Rear Window” on April 22. While some venues celebrate reopening, the few spots that never closed are blossoming into a new stride. Breweries and outdoor stages have been the recent stalwarts of live music. The Grove Winery and Summerfield Farms will continue hosting events into the spring, while the compound at Oden Brewing Company looks to build on their already stacked lineup of artists and weekly events, including Monday night Bingo, “Fermented Facts Trivia” Tuesdays, outdoor movies on Wednesdays, a UNCG Jazz Jam on Thursdays, and rounds of shows through the weekends. “I’m always trying to do new things to make us transcend what a brewery can be,” said manager Brandon Sebastian Angelilli. Oden’s setup affords ample social distancing with grounds encompassing a row of Victorian houses (complete with a backyard stage) centered around an airy renovated factory of a brewhouse. On Friday, they’ll host Ashley Virginia in her first live performance in a year. Saturday will feature the group Folkknot. And Laura Jane Vincent, Tom Troyer, and Emanuel Wynter are scheduled for April 23.
Monstercade, meanwhile, keeps trucking--albeit without indoor music. “While I absolutely applaud all of the efforts to have live seated shows in bigger venues that have maneuverability, that isn’t really going to work for us,” said operator Carlos Bocanegra. “We want to be able to present the bands in a way that we feel live music should be consumed,” he added. “The best shows are a symbiotic relationship between the audience and the performer in which tribal energy flows within the room. That type of show is going to be difficult to produce given the current conditions.” Ever the kings of chameleon bar activities, Monstercade has kept things going through an array of redesigns and alternatives, including a plant shop, drive-in theatre, and most recently, TV studio with the launch of “MonstercadeTV,” an alternative outlet where artists use the space to film and broadcast. Episodes air every Friday over streaming channels like YouTube or Patreon. As for live events, Monstercade is currently planning an outdoor concert series. And they’ve built the “The Glitz PIt,” a new area on-site wherein they’ve revived Monday night comedy each week; and have teamed up with Toby Hillard to resurrect the “Elevated Weirdo” game show with a remote-viewing twist. “It’s an interactive experience that can be streamed on your phone from anywhere, or enjoyed at the bar,” Bocanegra explained of the “Elevated Weirdo Vintage Party,” which streams live from Monstercade via the PopShop Live App on Wednesdays and Sundays. Spring is in the air as shows return and Triad venues begin to bloom. ! KATEI CRANFORD Is a Triad music nerd who hosts the Tuesday Tour Report, a radio show that runs like a mixtape of bands touring NC the following week, 5:30-7pm on WUAG 103.1fm.
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Trauma and Entrepreneurship lead in themes at N.C. Writer’s Conference Greensboro novelist James Tate Hill and the University of North CarolinaGreensboro (UNCG) Creative Program Director Terry Kennedy will be taking part in online lectures and discussions Ian McDowell at the 2021 Online Spring Conference, YES! Writer joint-hosted by the North Carolina Writers’ Network, the UNCG MFA Program in Creative Writing, and the Arts Council of Winston-Salem and Forsyth County. Hill will be conducting a Creative Nonfiction workshop on “Writing Trauma” on Saturday, April 24. Kennedy and Ross White will be leading the “Authors as Entrepreneurs (All Genres)” workshop every day of the conference, which runs from April 22 to 24. Other guest participants include Creative Nonfiction writer Eric G. Wilson, poets Ashley Lumpkin and Joseph Mills, and fiction writers Valerie Neiman and Zelda Lockhart. James Tate Hill’s first novel, Academy Gothic, a hardboiled murder mystery/academic satire set at a small private college annually ranked “Worst Value” by U.S. News & World Report. Legally blind semi-employed college lecturer Tate James Tate Hill Cowlishaw is surprised as anyone to find himself investigating the murder of the dying college’s dean. The settings, including the run-down hotel in which Cowlishaw lives, may be familiar to some local readers. Hill gave YES! Weekly the following statement about his memoir Blind Man’s Bluff, which will be published August 3, 2021, by W. W. Norton (a full-length profile of Hill will be published closer to that date). “I started writing Blind Man’s Bluff in my late 30s, a year after publishing my first novel. That book, a mystery featuring a blind protagonist, was my first attempt to tell my own story, to speak with a voice WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM
similar to my own. Not until I published an essay about the experience of pretending to read (Lit Hub: “On Being a Writer Who Can’t Read”) did I realize how much of the story remained untold. For the next few years, I tried to explain how and why I spent 15 years of my life hiding my disability, putting the lion’s share of my daily energy into passing for sighted. It meant the arrival of some tears while writing in my regular coffee shops, but the result was probably the best writing I’ve done.” Terry Kennedy is the author of the poetry collection New River Breakdown. His work has been Culshaw anthologized in Hard Lines: Rough South Poetry and The Southern Poetry Anthology Volume VII: North Carolina. He currently serves as the director of the Graduate Program in Creative Writing at UNCG and as editor for both The Greensboro Review and the online journal storySouth. Ross White, with whom Kennedy will be conducting the “Authors as Entrepreneurs” workshop, won the 2019 Sexton Prize for the poetry collection Charm Offensive and is the director of Bull City Press, an independent publisher of poetry, fiction, and nonfiction. He teaches creative writing, podcasting, publishing, and grammar at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Kennedy gave the following statement
about authors as entrepreneurs: “With the business models of traditional publishing changing, authors are increasingly being asked to act entrepreneurially. Entrepreneurs are constantly starting, revising, re-thinking, trying new things. So, if you’re a writer, you already have the mindset and may just need to develop out
some new skills. But this, too, is part of being a writer—you’re constantly growing your arsenal of craft techniques and skills. We are really interested in the ways that writers build sustainable habits and businesses over time that may help sell books but may also generate revenue in ways that enrich both the writer’s life and the community around them. Our concern here is not selling books or turning you into a bookseller—but to help you see the ways in which you already have the mindset to become an entrepreneur. You don’t have to be an expert before you offer a product or service . . . even novices can still add a lot of value to their community.” Registration is open until 9 a.m. on Monday, April 19. For more information, visit www.ncwriters.org. ! IAN MCDOWELL is the author of two published novels, numerous anthologized short stories, and a whole lot of nonfiction and journalism, some of which he’s proud of and none of which he’s ashamed of.
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M
yra Chanel makes her debut with the “MYRA” EP, out now via streaming platforms. “I am not passive, baby, I get active,” said the rapper and Katei Cranford model—who, as they put it, “might be the next Madonna.” Contributor “My main motivation to make music is to create what I believe is missing from the current landscape,” Chanel explained of their release, just in time for Aries season. “My main goal with developing my sound is to find the sweet spot of what I want to hear and what other people want to hear.” Growing up in Buffalo, NY, Chanel considers Southern trap music and pop music to be their sonic foundation. Their musical experiences stem from childhood drum lessons, which grew into forming casual rap groups with friends as a teenager living in Greensboro. “Once I was old enough to get a job, I bought a MacBook,” they explained of their DIY outlook toward record production they’ve maintained over the years. Chanel upholds a defined list of influential hip-hop artists, including Three 6
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Mafia, La Chat, Soulja Boy, Missy Elliot, and Pharrell, while citing other influences in ways that more generally embrace the expanse of genres like darkwave, soul, and techno. “In my songs, I explore themes of femininity, sexuality, confidence, and American excess,” Chanel, who prefers gender-neutral pronouns, explained. “I feel like I use these themes to convey a message that I push in my personal conversations and general ethos in life.” Straddling lines of pop and hip-hop, “MYRA” remains full of bops. “I make music for hot people,” they said. “I try to push the boundaries of how pop music can be created through the lens of hip-hop while maintaining authenticity.” Echoing the words of Long Nail Goddess Maria Ortiz, as “a person meant to shine, not to blend in,” Chanel doesn’t intentionally channel icons—though “I’ve been told that I channel a lot of Kanye West energy,” they said. At its purest, “MYRA” plays more like a demo, with a polished package expected later in the year. “I just wanted to showcase my talent in a quick collection of songs,” Chanel explained. “I recorded and mixed everything in my room. Everything was DIY and at the moment.” While Chanel flourishes at the moment, it’s not without preparation. “When I make music, I have to get into character,” they explained. “Even though I’m myself 24/7, when it comes to being Myra Chanel, it’s like I have to fully embody who I am in my music,” they continued. “I have to get dressed—do my makeup and my hair.” It’s a package intrinsic to their production. “Whether I’m mixing or recording, I have to be in the right physical and mental space to create, or else nothing will get done.” The initial incarnation, released as an EP on Mar. 24, remains laden with catchy, upbeat, NSFW earworms heard in the singles, “Loko,” and its follow-up, “Clear my throat.” “Loko” is an anthem for self-expression,” they said of the track, “perfect for tossing haters. It reflects how I am an individual living for herself.” The slightly more hypnotic “Clear My
Throat” serves as a personal hype anthem. “It’s like my getting ready song,” they said. “It’d be my theme music if I was a superhero.” Wielding determination like a superpower, Chanel’s tenacity has fueled a connection to music communities despite “MYRA” coming in as a debut release. “I just try to give it my all no matter what I’m doing - show or studio,” they noted, adding gratitude for opportunities thus far. In 2019, Chanel was voted “DJ of the Month” at WUAG 103.1 F.M. for hosting a radio show geared toward elevating Black and queer music. The show included live interviews from artists like Bryce Quartz, with whom Chanel has previously worked and who has featured “Loko” amongst his playlists on Spotify.
Looking ahead, Chanel intends to shoot a music video for all seven tracks on “MYRA” while also dropping a remastered, deluxe version of the record by summer. “I haven’t created much visual art for public consumption recently,” they said of multimedia endeavors, “but it’s definitely something I still enjoy.” Beyond videos, Chanel holds big plans for the future while sending love and sweet advice. “I’m touring the world when everything is open again,” they said. “All over the U.S., U.K., Europe, South Africa, Korea, and Japan, to be exact.” Turning toward fans, “be yourself—and whoever you want to be—in the purest form,” Chanel noted. “Love you for you.” “MYRA,” the debut EP from Myra Chanel, is available now. ! KATEI CRANFORD Is a Triad music nerd who hosts the Thursday Tour Report, a radio show that runs like a mixtape of bands touring NC the following week, 5:30-7 p.m. on WUAG 103.1FM.
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last call
[THE ADVICE GODDESS] love • sex • dating • marriage • questions
GAWKING TALL
I really appreciate the science you laid out showing that men instinctively look at women, even if they really love the woman they’re with. Maybe I should Amy Alkon stop feeling a tad bad about looking at beautiful women Advice and enjoying beauGoddess ty? After all, my wife and I have been married 26 years, and I’ve never even kissed anyone else during that time. Admittedly, I’ve sometimes wanted to, and I’ve had opportunities. Thanks for a perspective that brings in science and isn’t the usual man-bashing that’s out there. —Male Reader Your eyes probably go many places without your body robotically following suit — like at a buffet when you ogle the chocolate cake and baby doughnuts while dutifully piling a plate with raw broccoli and fat-free dip. Fortunately, broccoli rarely retaliates by sobbing, calling you a pig, and making you sleep in your car for three days. Evolutionary psychologist David Buss tells a story about a married guy who emailed him after reading his book “The Evolution of Desire,” which lays out scientific evidence supporting evolutionary theories about human mating psychology. Buss gets heat for the book from those whose beliefs it upends — those who cling to the idea that men and women are large-
ly identical in basic sexual psychology — and he admits, “Some of what I discovered about human mating is not nice.” The man conceded that “maybe some people worry that men’s desire for sexual variety will give men an excuse for cheating.” But, he said, learning about it helped him stay faithful. Buss said the man had previously interpreted his attraction to various women he encountered “as indications that maybe he didn’t love his wife any more. But after reading my book, he realized, ‘Oh, that’s my evolved desire for sexual variety; it doesn’t mean that I don’t love my wife.’” The man’s revelation reflects what Buss sees as “two separate evolved systems”: one for love and one for lust. “We become attracted to other people even if we’re in a loving mating relationship and fully in love with our partner.” In other words, no, you shouldn’t feel bad about eyeballing the ladies. Focus on how much you love your wife and how, despite MMO — means, motive, and opportunity — looking has yet to give way to a need, upon arriving home, to sit in your car feverishly working the hand sanitizer in hopes of getting the glitterflecked spray tanner off your pants.
Technology was supposed to set us free, not dial back our personal autonomy to that of my late hamster. I didn’t have control over much when I was 8, but I loved how at any moment, I could go all kiddie Mussolini, pull Squeaky out of his cage, and make him turn tricks (uh...do somersaults on a pencil). A smartphone makes constant communication possible; “it doesn’t mandate it,” I wrote in “Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck.” Your friends’ daily texting quotas aside, what might it mean that your boyfriend doesn’t spend his entire day texting you? Um... he has a job? He prefers to communicate in spoken-word form, ideally in person? (See “not a phone person.”) Frankly, maybe he’s on to something, considering that so many text-versations, beyond the constant attention-hijacking, are basically conversational iceberg lettuce, amounting to: “I’m still alive!” “Yep, still alive here, too. LOL. LOL. LOL.” Chances are your guy shows he cares in a number of ways. Take stock of those. Still feel a little underloved? Consider “the dependency paradox.” Social psychologist Brooke Feeney, who coined the term, finds
that in romantic relationships, the more an insecure partner sees they can count on the other to be responsive to their appeals for love and comforting, the less needy and clingy they end up being. (Ultimately, through repeated dependence comes independence.) You might ask him to be more cuddlytouchy-affectionate with you, which, Feeney finds, helps insecure partners calm down and enjoy their relationship. Assuming he cares about you (as “Our time together is wonderful” suggests), it’s a relationship “task” he should enjoy. And though you’re used to texts from a boyfriend, demanding texts from a man who hates texting is to be avoided. It makes a girlfriend seem less like a girlfriend and more like Mussolini with boobs and a phone seem less like a phone and more like a cattle prod that delivers dings, cat memes, and throw-up-face emojis. ! GOT A PROBLEM? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com). Follow her on Twitter @amyalkon. Order her latest “science-help” book, Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence. ©2021 Amy Alkon. Distributed by Creators.Com.
MEET JOE BLANK SCREEN
I’m a woman in my late 20s. The guy I’m seeing is “not a phone person” and hates texting. Our time together is wonderful. However, he rarely texts except to make plans. I am used to frequent contact throughout the day via text with boyfriends. My friends say he should be texting every day, multiple times a day. I’m worried his lack of texts signals a lack of interest. —Disturbed
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