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MARCH 31 - APRIL 6, 2020, 2021 VOLUME 17, NUMBER 13
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Publisher CHARLES A. WOMACK III publisher@yesweekly.com EDITORIAL Editor CHANEL DAVIS chanel@yesweekly.com YES! Writers IAN MCDOWELL MARK BURGER
The Triad’s Housing Crisis, or lack thereof, is one of those inequities. Last year’s economic fallout, rolling recession, and sudden job loss found not only hundreds of thousands of Americans jobless but HOMELESS as well. North Carolina and the Triad weren’t indifferent to that devastating blow.
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DISTRIBUTION JANICE GANTT KYLE MUNRO SHANE MERRIMAN ANDREW WOMACK We at YES! Weekly realize that the interest of our readers goes well beyond the boundaries of the Piedmont Triad. Therefore we are dedicated to informing and entertaining with thought-provoking, debate-spurring, in-depth investigative news stories and features of local, national and international scope, and opinion grounded in reason, as well as providing the most comprehensive entertainment and arts coverage in the Triad. YES! Weekly welcomes submissions of all kinds. Efforts will be made to return those with a self-addressed stamped envelope; however YES! Weekly assumes no responsibility for unsolicited submissions. YES! Weekly is published every Wednesday by Womack Newspapers, Inc. No portion may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. First copy is free, all additional copies are $1.00. Copyright 2021 Womack Newspapers, Inc.
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Anyone scoffing at the announcement that the University of North CarolinaGreensboro will offer a non-credit certificate in ESPORTS should ask themselves this question: what if it was a certificate in tournament-level chess? 5 When Jenn Newton began taking CLASSES nearly ten years ago she never expected it to transform into a journey. What had previously been a hobby blossomed into a passion within the four walls she trained at and bloomed into love as she developed her “tribe of people,” companions who would support her through every step of the way. 6 Around this time each year, the RIVERRUN INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL traditionally hosts a launch party touting the films and special guests scheduled to be a part of the festival. Circumstances being what they are, the RiverRun International Film Festival’s traditional kick-off event will be virtual this year, taking place April 7 and will be broadcast on the festival’s website. 7 I first met DANIEL SEAMAN when he was a graduate assistant at UNCG in what was then called the Speech/Commu-
nications department. Under his tutelage, I learned the art of debate and honed my public speaking skills. More importantly, we formed a friendship that would last for nearly 50 years. 13 “Require Cooperation with ICE 2.0,” the official short title of the recently introduced North Carolina State Bill 101, bluntly describes its intended function. If it passes, law enforcement officials must detain suspected undocumented immigrants for 48 hours. The bill would also require sheriff’s offices to report to a legislative committee about their immigration enforcement. Sheriffs failing to comply with procedures outlined in the bill would face a Class I misdemeanor. 14 Birds are singing, the sun is shining, spring is in the air—and the GOLDEN SHINE returns with a new EP, “Common Misconceptions,” out now via streaming platforms. Defying the common misconception of what a recording-project from Larry Wayne Slaton, the Old Heavy Hands rocker (and Legacy Irons tattoo artist,) might sound like, the Golden Shine offers an outlet...
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Game On: UNCG announces esports certificate
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nyone scoffing at the announcement that the University of North Carolina-Greensboro will offer a noncredit certificate in esports should ask Ian McDowell themselves this question: what if it was a certificate in YES! Writer tournament-level chess? Besides significant earnings, a champion chess player enjoys considerable prestige, especially after the success of The Queen’s Gambit. Playing almost any board game at the highest level involves sophisticated problemsolving and decision-making. “There are statistics and mathematics that actually go into making these games,” said Columbus State University professor Rodrigo Obando to the Ledger-Inquirer in 2014 after CSU’s computer science department offered a class in designing board games. The same rationale can easily be made for college classes and programs in esports, even without considering the money that can be made as a tournament champion or the challenges and revenues involved in organizing, promoting, and streaming a tournament. “Our digital certificate is an introductory sampling of the many career avenues available within the esports industry,” wrote Karen Z. Bull, Dean of UNCG’s Division of Online Learning, in an email to YES! Weekly. “Students will have an opportunity to learn what it takes to broadcast a live tournament, how to care for the wellbeing of the esports athlete, and how to impact equity, diversity, and inclusion in the esports industry. Look for our first course, esports Ecosystems, which will focus on the history of esports and the evolution of the field to launch in the Fall semester of 2021.” It may be useful to clarify just what esports (which, despite that final “s,” is a singular noun) means. It doesn’t mean, or merely mean, sports video games, the standard term for games such as Madden NFL or Football Manager, that simulate an existing sport. In the 2016 Internet Research article “What is esports and why do people watch it?” Juho YES! WEEKLY
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Hamari and Max Sjöblom define esports as “a form of sports where the primary aspects of the sport are facilitated by electronic systems; the input of players and teams, as well as the output of the esports system, are mediated by humancomputer interfaces.” Put more simply, it typically means organized, multiplayer video game competitions, particularly between professional players, whether individually or in teams. Organized competitions have been part of videogame culture for decades. The earliest known video game competition occurred in 1972 at Stanford University, where players competed in an “Intergalactic Spacewar! Olympics” for the grand prize of a year’s subscription to Rolling Stone. The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, a popular and critically-acclaimed documentary by Seth Gordon, chronicles Steve Wiebe’s 1981 attempts to take the high score record in Donkey Kong from Billy Mitchell. Today, prizes are much higher, and salaried players are not uncommon. “How Much Money do Esports Players Make,” a January 2021 Aiken House article by Nicolas Lucente, states: “The pay wage ranges depending on talent and popularity. That being said, the average pro player still sees a decent amount of money roll into their account. If they are on a team, the average team salary is about $4,000 a month, equating to a $48,000 salary. Then, the median player earnings from tournament prize money are roughly $8,300. On top of that, they would also receive about $1,500 each month from just streaming.” In 2019, more than $235 million was awarded across more than 5,400 esports tournaments. Nearly a quarter of that year’s total won at Valve’s annual Dota 2 event, The International, in which $34.3 million was shared across the 18 participating teams, with champions taking home $15.6 million. However, due to last year’s economic crisis, top prize totals plummeted despite the online competition’s relative safety. Norwegian grandmaster and current world chess champion Magnus Carlsen (A.K.A. DrNykterstein) became the highest-earning esports player in the world when he took home $510,587 for Chess24. Rather than being originally created for
recreational play, some highly successful games were designed to be played professionally with dedicated esports features supporting high-level competition. League of Legends, StarCraft II, and Dota 2 were designed from the outset with this in mind. There are those who question whether or not esports are “real sports.” In 2013, all the panelists on an episode of Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel laughed out loud at the idea, and in 2014, then-ESPN president John Skipper described esports as “not a sport, [but] a competition.” But those same arguments could be made about chess, which in 2000 was recognized as a sport by the International Olympic Commission (this did not make it an Olympic sport, but does open the door for that to happen in the future). “UNC Greensboro is carving out a niche in the rapidly growing industry of competitive video gaming, or esports, which offers numerous career opportunities,” reads the UNCG esports homepage at esports. uncg.edu. “By taking online courses in esports with our new, noncredit-bearing digital certificate program, you can learn how to identify current trends in the field and assess the viability of new revenue streams, examine the budgeting, pricing, and fee structures associated with holding successful tournaments, build an inclusive engagement plan to ensure fan diversity and equity, and motivate athletes to improve their performance and negotiate player contracts.” Bull explained what a digital certificate is in a recent email to YES! Weekly. “At UNCG, a digital certificate provides easy access to learning opportunities through convenience, flexibility, and affordability. Courses are online, no prerequisite is needed to enroll in a class, and students will have a full year to complete all six courses - one can be completed in as little as one month. Upon the completion of each course, students will earn a digital badge, and all six badges will lead to the full digital certificate. We know that there is a high demand for these skills in the marketplace, and our offering is designed to enable students to actively participate in the job market as soon as possible.”
Bull also wrote that the virtues of esports include “inclusiveness, equity, and community,” calling it “a co-ed sport with a level playing field,” and noting that online streaming platforms like Twitch and YouTube meant that it’s “free, easily accessible, and can be watched 24/7.” Eden Bloss, Interim Senior Advisor to the Chancellor for External Communications, told YES! Weekly that UNCG Chancellor Dr. Franklin D. Gilliam was “the catalyst for the program.” Bloss also said that there is an upcoming Rocket League tournament at UNCG on April 23, and that its semifinals and finals will be broadcast via Twitch on April 24. “Tournament registration will begin Monday, March 29 at 2 p.m. and run until April 22 at 10 p.m.,” Bloss wrote in an email. UNCG students can register for this at uncg.mainline.gg/esports-tournament/-/tournament/overview. Bloss also wrote that there would be some differences between this tournament and last year’s. “Rocket League is cross-platform, so all gamers are able to compete on whatever system they play (PlayStation, Xbox, or PC). Rocket League is free to play. Students can visit www.rocketleague.com to find out how to download the game on their platform.” Professional Rocket League Player Trevor Hannah (aka Dude with Nose) will be one of the “shoutcasters” for the UNCG tournament. Hannah, who has competed in multiple national Rocket League competitions and recently called UNCG’s Rocket League tournament for Minnesota, has close to 7,000 followers on Twitter and 2,500 on Twitch. “We are still looking for an analysis, but Trevor will be our play by play for the tournament,” said Bloss. She said that all contestants in the tournament would win a coupon for a free sub courtesy of Penn Station. “We are still working on a grand prize, but the prizes will be finalized later this week.” ! IAN MCDOWELL is the author of two published novels, numerous anthologized short stories, and a whole lot of nonfiction and journalism, some of which he’s proud of and none of which he’s ashamed of.
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Path to success: Woman’s yoga passion leads to new business BY HABIN HWANG When Jenn Newton, a wife, and mother of four, began taking yoga classes nearly ten years ago with intentions of postnatal weight loss, she never expected it to transform into a spiritual healing journey that would guide her through recovery from addiction, stressful events in her life, and a pandemic that rocked the economic world. What had previously been a hobby blossomed into a passion within the four walls of the YMCA she trained at and bloomed into love as she developed her “tribe of people,” companions who would support her through every step of the way. This love was what drove her to open High Point Yoga School in October of 2020 after many years of working as a certified yoga instructor. Though she had many fears amidst the process of opening the studio, she faced them head-on throughout the journey. She was the sole instructor initially— unsure whether or not she was making the right decision within entrepreneurship, yet committing to the risk based on the love she had for spreading the passion for yoga. Today, High Point Yoga School stands with five other certified yoga instructors besides Newton on Church Avenue. It is open to students of all ages, body types, and ranges of experience. What started as a mere hobby has developed into a massive community, where individuals are able to hold a non-judgmental and safe space to empower themselves. “I’m very big on making everyone feel comfortable and capable,” she said. “My classes [are open for] all ages, all levels, and there’s something for everybody. I [strive for] everyone to feel fulfilled and happy, and I feel so fulfilled and happy.” Classes offered at the studio reflect Newton’s inclusivity beliefs, including individuals ranging from as young as 20 to the oldest participant being 80 years old and includes all body types. Stemming from Newton’s systems of beliefs centered around love, High Point Yoga Studio continues to embrace people of all backgrounds and situations. Extending beyond love, High Point Yoga Studio builds a community of diverse individuals that can be interconnected through spiriWWW.YESWEEKLY.COM
tual empowerment. As a yoga instructor, many of Newton’s classes are centered around experiencing empowerment— a practice that she believes should belong to everyone. Similar to the way yoga freed her from the stress experienced with the many hectic situations within her life amongst finding the balance between having a large family, managing a small business during a pandemic, and practicing her passion, Newton wishes to extend the same relief to all her students. Although she started out with the idea to provide a free, safe space for her students to experience personal growth, the school has developed into an area where they can experience the love of yoga. “Yoga connected me to something bigger than me and to myself,” she stated, explaining one of the reasons she grew to love it so much. “It helped me understand myself.” All of High Point Yoga School’s classes take place in person with the CDC’s social distancing and mask guidelines in place. Additionally, mats, equipment, and the surrounding elements of the studio are constantly sanitized. High Point Yoga School has a YouTube channel where recorded yoga classes are regularly posted for those who are unable to attend inperson classes. Additionally, High Point Yoga School can be found on Instagram, where they update their students with class times and external updates. With courses of various intensities at different times, the school offers gentle yoga, sculpting yoga, power yoga, soul-revivalcentered yoga, and many other types of classes. Though she began from a place of uncertainty and big ideas, Newton’s journey has taken her to the point where she has inspired many of her students and fellows to pursue the path of becoming a yoga instructor. “I want people to know that we’re all broken,” she concluded. “But we can all heal.” To learn more about High Point Yoga Studio, go to https://www.highpointys. com or find them via @highpointys on Instagram. ! HABIN HWANG is a 17-year-old Guilford County Schools Early College student at Guilford College.
#iHEARTARTSMONTH
April 1-30, 2021
celebrate with us! THIS YEAR, THE ARTS NEED YOUR HELP MORE OR THAN EVER.
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PUBLIC P A ART scavenger sc r hunt Show your love by participating in this free DIY event and support the annual ArtsFund. You have the whole month of April to explore the amazing art in our city, answer challenges, gain points, and win prizes. Fun for the whole family!
VISIT ARTSGREENSBORO.ORG FOR INFO AND TO REGISTER SPONSORED BY: SPONSO
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May Madness: RiverRun Film Festival readies to roll
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round this time each year, the RiverRun International Film Festival traditionally hosts a launch party touting the films and special guests scheduled to Mark Burger be a part of the festival. Circumstances being what they are Contributor during the COVID-19 pandemic, the RiverRun International Film Festival’s traditional kick-off event will be virtual this year, taking place April 7 and will be broadcast on the festival’s website: https://riverrunfilm.com/. A specific broadcast time has yet to be determined but will likely be around 7 p.m. Tickets will be available for purchase by members on April 8 and by the general public on April 12. The complete schedule will be accessible through the RiverRun website, as are ticket sales. The 23rd annual RiverRun festival will be held May 6-16 of this year and marks
the 18th year since the festival migrated east from Brevard to Winston-Salem. Back then, the festival ran only four days. It has become one of the most popular annual events in the region and a major component of the arts scene here, attracting filmmakers and film fans alike from far and wide. Much like the actual launch party, this presentation will include remarks from Rob Davis, the festival’s executive director, and Winston-Salem Mayor Allen Joines, among others, as well as a highlight reel showcasing this year’s film offerings and the announcement of special guests who will be attending the event. In addition, it will include a detailed description of Elevant, the virtual screening system RiverRun will utilize this year, as well as the outdoor screenings and other special events the festival has in store. Despite having to cancel last year’s festival, RiverRun’s ongoing series of virtual and drive-in screenings proved successful last year, and that will be the format for this year’s festival. The festival received over 1,500 submissions and
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selected 132, encompassing 41 features and 91 shorts, representing 24 countries. Davis believes that this year’s line-up is one of the strongest ever and admits to being surprised – pleasantly so – by the submissions’ overall quality. As popular as RiverRun has become over the years, having earned a deserved reputation as an audience- and filmmaker-friendly event, he also lauds filmmakers’ determination and tenacity to make their films under such adverse circumstances as COVID-19. “We had no idea how many submissions we’d receive given the strange circumstances in which we’ve all been operating, but I’m thrilled to say that the overall quality of films was exceptional,” he said. Davis is not one for picking favorites, but there are some films he’s anxious to see how audiences react to, including The Dry, a complex murder-mystery starring Eric Bana set in the Australian Outback, based on Jane Harper’s best-seller, which Luke Buckmaster of The Guardian hailed as “gripping, tough, and psychologically intense … a very gripping and polished film, commandingly performed and directed, with an airtight sense of tonal cohesiveness.” Another film, which was originally scheduled as last year’s closing-night film, the fact-based comedy/drama Dream Horse, starring Toni Collette and Damian Lewis, will instead be screened at this year’s. Reviewing the film at last year’s Sundance Film Festival, Nick Allen of rogerebert.com wrote: “This is the kind of unabashed crowdpleaser that was made with care,” and Corey Bulloch of UK Film Review observed, “It’s the impassioned down-toearth performances from the ensemble which gives an infectious pride to the whole affair … an uplifting, charming true story filled with inspirational warmth for all the dark horses and dreamers out there, wonderfully told through the heartwarming performances from Collette, Lewis and (Owen) Teale.” The film’s distributor, Bleecker Street Media, believed so strongly in its potential that it opted not to release it on-demand and instead wait until
more theaters had opened. Thus, Dream Horse rides again at RiverRun. There will also be retrospective screenings, including one of the 1969 Disney comedy classic The Love Bug, starring Dean Jones, Michele Lee, and the inimitable Buddy Hackett (as “Tennessee Steinmetz”), which became one of the studio’s most beloved live-action franchises. Many of the outdoor screenings will be of films made in North Carolina, both to showcase the talents of the state’s filmmakers but also because filmmakers might be more inclined to attend screenings not far from home. The films that will be screened outdoors will also be made available for virtual viewing shortly thereafter. “We’ve put together a line-up which I can honestly say can be enjoyed by everyone,” Davis said. ! See MARK BURGER’s reviews of current movies on Burgervideo.com. © 2021, Mark Burger.
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voices
Theatre endowment named for Seaman
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community theatre plays in Greensboro, he late High Point, and Kernersville. Along the great Erway, he and his wife Marion (an accomnie Banks, plished costume designer) had raised two a Hall of kids and were well known in craft circles Fame baseball playfor their beautiful stain glasswork. And er, once said, “the there’s something else. Dan’s students measure of a man loved him, and they loved to keep in touch is in the lives he’s with him. They also never forgot what he touched.” If that’s did for them and for so many other kids. true, then Daniel Jim Longworth That’s why earlier this year, some of his Seaman must be one former students got together to establish of the most successan endowment for the Daniel Seaman ful men in Heaven. Longworth Award for Outstanding Achievement in He was a devoted at Large Ensemble Theatre. I recently spoke with husband and loving Marion about the project. father. He was a loyal friend and confidant. JL: Tell me about the endowment. He was a musician, a craftsman, and an award-winning theatre director. And to MS: Every year, a secondary educator thousands of high school drama students wins the NCTC top prize in the Ensemble (dozens of who went on to become category. But there was never a monetary teachers), he was an innovative educator award connected to the honor. So Dan’s who they affectionately called “Sea.” Dan friend Keith Martin, an advocate for NCTC, passed away last December. He was 69. suggested that many of the students I first met Dan when he was a graduwhose lives Dan had touched might want ate assistant at UNCG in what was then to create an endowcalled the Speech/ ment to be given to the Communications winning troupe each department. Under year. The funds would his tutelage, I learned allow them to move the art of debate on to the next level and honed my public and compete at the speaking skills. More Southeastern Theatre importantly, we Conference. formed a friendship that would last for JL: How does the nearly 50 years. By the award and endowment time I graduated, Dan reflect Dan’s career and was already making a legacy, and the comname for himself as a mitment he had to his think-outside-the-box students? drama instructor at Dan Seaman and his guitar Dudley High School in MS: Dan was a lifelong educator. This Greensboro. He mentored and nurtured wasn’t a second career or second choice his students, most of who had never set for him. It was a passion. He felt that thefoot on a stage, and then took them to atre provided a community for teenagers State and regional competitions, where in which they could express themselves they excelled in ensemble theatre. Dan’s in a safe environment, have a chance to next challenge was to help shape the learn, and share new ideas. drama program at Weaver Academy and His shows were most often ensemble inspire a whole new generation of theatre productions, so he wanted his community actors, directors, and technicians. Over of actors to win the Best Ensemble Award the course of his career, Dan’s students as an affirmation of their work and as a won the North Carolina Theatre Conferresult of working together for a common ence’s prestigious “Outstanding Achievegoal. ment in Ensemble Theatre” award an Today, many of Dan’s former students unprecedented 16 times. It’s no surprise, are still working together, this time to then, that when Dan retired from teachraise enough money to match a recent ing high school drama, the NCTC Board challenge grant that would fund the renamed its highest award in his honor. endowment in perpetuity. Tax-deductible Dan, of course, never really retired. In donations can be made at www.nctc. his “senior” years, he served as an adjunct org/donate/ensemble. professor at Greensboro College, an instructor at UNCG, and directed countless WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM
JL: What would Dan think of having an endowment named for him? MS: He would be overwhelmed at the outpouring of affection and fond memories that have accompanied the donations from so many of his students and their parents. Dan was doing what he loved with every show that he directed, and he would be touched to be on the receiving end of such “Love and Laughter.”
By the way, “Love and Laughter” is the phrase that Dan used every time he signed his name. They’re also the two things he gave to everyone who knew him. ! JIM LONGWORTH is the host of Triad Today, airing on Saturdays at 7:30 a.m. on ABC45 (cable channel 7) and Sundays at 11 a.m. on WMYV (cable channel 15).
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[NEWS OF THE WEIRD] PARENT OF THE YEAR
Jose Manuel Navarrete, 25, is being held on $100,000 bond on suspicion of child endangerment in the San Diego Central jail after he carried his 2-year-old Chuck Shepherd daughter into the elephant habitat at the San Diego Zoo on March 19, the Associated Press reported. Navarrete allegedly wanted to take a picture with the African bull elephant, police said, and evaded multiple barriers to enter the enclosure. Witness video shows one of the elephants charging the two trespassers and Navarrete briefly dropping the toddler before picking her up and getting her to safety. “He runs, throws his baby through the gate and it’s seconds from hitting him,” said witness Jake Ortale. “People were just mad at this guy.”
ENTREPRENEURIAL SPIRIT
Good Fortune Burger in Toronto has renamed some if its menu items as office supplies as a not-so-underhanded way to help customers get reimbursed for lunch, the National Post reported, and perhaps boost sales. The restaurant’s Fortune Burger is now the Basic Steel Stapler, and Parm Fries will appear on a receipt as CPU Wireless Mouse. Director of operations Jon Purdy said the restaurant “just wanted an opportunity to put a smile on some people’s faces and have them have a little bit of a giggle.”
THE CONTINUING CRISIS
— Larry Lee Harris, 66, of Willcox, Arizona, was arrested after chasing a caravan of three National Guard vans carrying COVID-19 vaccines out of a truck stop in Lubbock, Texas, on March 22 and trying repeatedly to run the vans off the road, police said. WAFB-TV reported Harris finally turned his vehicle into oncoming traffic and stopped the vans, then allegedly pointed a gun at a guardsman, identified himself as a detective and insisted on searching the vehicles. He told Idalou police, who found a .45-caliber pistol and loaded magazines in his possession, that he was looking for a kidnapped woman and child. “Mr. Harris appeared to be mentally disturbed,” Idalou Police Chief Eric Williams said. All 11 unarmed uniformed guardsmen escaped unharmed. — On March 17, police at the Charleston, South Carolina, airport rushed to meet United Airlines Flight 728 in response to a report that someone’s ear had been bitten off on the plane, which had been diverted
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there from its flight from Newark, New Jersey, to Miami, The State reported. Passenger John Yurkovich Jr., 45, of New Jersey, had become “agitated” and “restless” after making a trip to the restroom, police said, then “began to scream and thrash around,” punching his seatmate and apparently biting the man’s ear, which later required seven stitches, an FBI report said. A doctor on board injected Benadryl into Yurkovich’s buttocks to help subdue him, and others bound him with zip ties and a belt. Authorities said they found 1.5 grams of suspected meth in Yurkovich’s pocket; he was arrested and faces state charges of possession as well as federal charges of assault.
WAIT, WHAT?
As Jensen Karp, 41, of Los Angeles, was pouring a second bowl of his favorite breakfast cereal, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, on March 22, “something plopped out of the box. I picked it up, and I was like, ‘This is clearly a shrimp tail,’” he told The New York Times. Karp looked into the box and saw another tail, both encrusted in sugar. Karp took a picture, sent it to his wife, then contacted General Mills. Then a friend suggested he take another look into the bag, where he reported finding “shrimp skins-looking things, a small string, something that resembled a pistachio, and finally, “small black pieces” at the bottom that he fears are rat feces. Karp is having the samples tested at a lab. “I’m a comedy writer, but like, there’s no joke here,” he said. “I love Cinnamon Toast Crunch.” General Mills says it’s looking into the matter, but “we can say with confidence that this did not occur at our facility.”
COMPELLING EXPLANATION
Phedeline St. Felix told police in Pompano Beach, Florida, she had gone to a city park in mid-March to settle an argument with another woman when she allegedly drove her car over a gate and into a playground, accidentally hitting Chaunda McCleod and her 3-year-old grandson instead, injuring them both. “I was attempting to run (the other woman) over,” St. Felix said, according to WPLG-TV. McCleod said she saw a fight brewing in the park and “started to get all the kids together to get them out of the park. ... As I’m picking (my grandson) up, she’s just hitting us both and we just went flying over the car and finally we hit the ground.” St. Felix was arrested and ordered not to have any contact with the victims. !
© 2021 Chuck Shepherd. Universal Press Syndicate. Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.
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Many people have resorted to “tent homes” in tent communities
Invisible people: A look at the homeless population in the Triad
Chanel Davis
Editor’s Note: This is Part 1 in a series of in-depth articles looking at homelessness and housing insecurity in the Triad’s three biggest cities, its impact, and what can be done to help alleviate the issue.
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hile many and their loved ones have faced trying economic times within this last year and a half, one thing that has become even more prevalent has been the disparities among different populations and subpopulations among the nation and the Triad. These disparities include inequi-
Editor
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ties when it comes to health, education, employment, and housing. They are the same inequities that have always been around yet are now highlighted since a light has been shined on them. The Triad’s Housing Crisis, or lack thereof, is one of those inequities. Last year’s economic fallout, rolling recession, and sudden job loss found not only hundreds of thousands of Americans jobless but homeless as well, along with their families. North Carolina and the Triad weren’t indifferent to that devastating blow. Realistically, many of these people just joined the already Invisible People who have clung to the corners of streets with “Help Me” signs and who have littered clearings with tents and makeshift shelters to provide alternatives from a sleepless night on the cold, damp ground or a warm yet dangerous situation.
From Tenant to Tent Data from the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) shows that there were an estimated 9,280 homeless individuals in the state of North Carolina in 2020, compared to 9,314 in 2019. The reports are based on Point-inTime (PIT) information provided to HUD by Continuum of Care (CoCs) Homeless Assistance Programs. Traditionally, the PIT Count provides a count of sheltered and unsheltered homeless people on a single night during the last ten days in January, along with the assistance of some CoC Homeless Assistance Programs to provide counts by household and subpopulation based on the PIT. Due to the pandemic and COVID restrictions, many areas and agencies did not conduct a full PIT this year, so many areas are having to work off the data from 2019 or are limited in their 2020 data.
The PIT record in January 2020 recorded a total of 504 homeless people in the Winston-Salem /Forsyth County CoC and 624 homeless people in the Greensboro/ High Point CoC. The Winston-Salem/Forsyth County CoC breaks down to 137 women, with 124 of them in emergency shelters and 13 unsheltered, one transgender person in an emergency shelter, and 366 men, with 267 of them in emergency shelters, 55 in transitional housing, and 44 that are unsheltered. Of those living in emergency shelters, 231 are black or African American, 154 are white, one is Asian, and six identify as mixed race. Of those living in transitional housing, 20 are black or African American, 34 are white, and one identifies as American Indian or Alaska Native. In the unsheltered community, 30 are black or African American, 26 are white, and one identifies as mixed race.
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The report includes a summary of other populations that often contribute to many individuals being homeless, including those who are severely mentally ill, have chronic substance abuse, those battling with HIV/AIDS, domestic violence victims, veterans, unaccompanied youth (between the ages of 18-24), parenting youth (between the ages of 18-24) and their children. In 2019, the Winston-Salem/ Forsyth County CoC reported 454 people described as homeless on any given night, according to the National Alliance to End Homelessness (NAEH) state dashboard. That number would equate to 12 people being homeless out of every 10,000 of the area’s general population. Between 2007 and 2019, Winston-Salem/Forsyth County CoCs total homeless population and sheltered population decreased by 10 percent, while its unsheltered population showed no change,
Volunteers with Open Door Ministries pass out food in High Point
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PHOTO BY ARNITA MILES according to the NAEH dashboard. The Greensboro/High Point CoC breaks down to 215 women, with 124 of them in emergency shelters, 26 in transitional housing and 65 unsheltered and 409 men, with 235 of them in emergency shelters, 49 in transitional housing, and 125 that are unsheltered. Of those living in emergency shelters, 268 are black or African American, 80 are white, one is American Indian or Alaska Native, and ten identify as mixed race. Of those living in transitional housing, 44 are black or African American, 28 are white, and three identify as mixed race. In the unsheltered community, 87 are black or African American, 100 are white, one identifies as Asian, and two identify as mixed race. Again, the report includes a summary of other populations that often contribute to many individuals being homeless, including those who are severely mentally ill, have chronic substance abuse, those battling with HIV/AIDS, domestic violence victims, veterans, unaccompanied youth (between the ages of 18-24), parenting youth (between the ages of 18-24) and their children. In 2019, the Greensboro/High Point CoCs reported 586 people described as homeless on any given night, according to the NAEH state dashboard. That number would equate to 11 people being homeless out of every 10,000 of the area’s general population. Between 2007 and 2019, Greensboro/High Point CoCs total homeless population decreased by 50 percent, the sheltered population decreased by 46 percent, and it’s unsheltered population decreased by 70 percent, according to the NAEH dashboard. While the numbers indicate homelessness in the Triad has decreased, a drive down any of the central city streets or a wait at a longer-thannormal traffic light will show you a different story. So whom should we believe? Michelle Kennedy, executive director of the Interactive Resource Center in Greensboro, said that the reported Point in Time numbers are traditionally notorious for “undercounting” and doesn’t take into account that many have found some sort of temporary home during that time frame. “Experts estimate PIT counts may be off as much as 50 percent. It is held during the last week of January, which is problematic because, during colder weather, more folks are in some type of temporary situation to avoid the cold- resulting in a lower count. Simply put, if you’re relying on a PIT count, PHOTO COURTESY OF OPEN DOOR MINISTRIES you’re using bad data,” she said.
Volunteers set up food in Winston-Salem Ryan Ross, executive director of Open Door Ministries in High Point, said that the men’s shelter served a total of 84,000 meals to the community and sheltered 498 men within the last year, noting like Kennedy, that those numbers are down from previous years. “It’s because the guys are staying longer, and we are not allowed to be at full capacity,” he said. “Right now, we can only house 30 at a time. We have seen a lot of guys come through our shelter this year, but also, there are more guys on the streets.” Ross said he and his staff think it’s due to the housing demand increase and that many, due to the pandemic, have planned to stay where they are instead of moving like they usually would. The agency frequently assists with housing placement, whether it’s transitional or permanent, along with housing homeless men. “This limits those with low and fixed MARCH 31 - APRIL 6, 2021
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Volunteers help clean up a homeless encampment PHOTO BY ARNITA MILES
incomes. Typically, we try to help clients get into something they can afford while they work and save to move to something that might cost more but is a little nicer,” he said. “With the pandemic, those housing opportunities are more limited. Even the cost of boarding houses has increased.” From Supervisor to Sidewalk The Triad is behind when it comes to pandemic economic recovery in comparison to some of the states’ more prominent and more affluent cities. According to the North Carolina Justice Center, the scale of the economic harm “has not been met with an adequate policy response.” One example given in its February 2021 report is that state Unemployment Insurance benefits began running out in the latter part of 2020 while there were still not enough jobs available. By November of last year, fewer than 75,000 North Carolinians were receiving continuing UI benefits while more than 300,000 were actively looking for work, according to the report. Though federal benefits have assisted in filling the gap, the center states in the report that “more state and federal aid will be needed” to help families get over the latest financial recession. The center also said that regional job hubs often suffer more sustained job losses as the biggest cities recover faster. Regional job centers that have experienced some of the worst declines since February include Asheville (-8.4%), Goldsboro (-8.0%), Hickory-LenoirMorganton (-7.7%), Wilmington (-7.4%), Greensboro-High Point (-6.9%), Rocky Mount (-6.6%), Fayetteville (-6.0%), Greenville (-5.9%), and New Bern (-5.7%), according to the report. “This crisis is targeting North Carolina’s worst-paid workers and most economically disadvantaged communities with eerie precision, even while a lot of people who were doing great before the pandemic never missed a paycheck,” said Patrick McHugh, research manager with the North Carolina Budget and Tax Center. As of January 2021, there were 297,599 people actively looking for work in the state in comparison to the 10,130,000 looking for work in the nation. Between February 2020 and March 2021, the Greensboro/High Point metropolitan statistical area lost 20,800 jobs or 5.7 percent, and the Winston-Salem metropolitan statistical area lost 5.2 percent jobs, a total of 14,200 jobs, according to the state Budget and Tax Center. The loss of those jobs is a significant contributor to the growing, albeit
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undocumented, homeless population in the Triad. For Ross and Open Door Ministries, most of their clients were employed by temporary agencies in the area with the hope of becoming full-time employees someday. During the pandemic, there was a long period of time that companies, through those temporary agencies, were not hiring employees. “Our clients are not ‘essential workers’ usually, so this made job placement incredibly hard. We are technically a 30-day housing shelter. Which means in the past we get guys in, try to get them jobs and some form of stable housing within a month,” Ross said. “With the pandemic, we have allowed guys to stay much longer. This means we have a set amount in our shelter, but there are those on the street that we just can not get in as rapidly as we have in previous years.” Kennedy agrees that many labor streams, especially the service industry work sets, dried up when the pandemic started. “Many folks do day labor or work temporary jobs. Those employment streams virtually disappeared during COVID,” she said. “Many other folks who were marginally housed found themselves facing homelessness as their employment situation deteriorated.” Ross said that substance abuse and mental health issues have been a mitigating factor on many people choosing to live unsheltered versus the alternative, and said that it’s a continuing concern. “We are seeing many guys that just are not wanting to be sheltered or are not able to live in a structured environment where drugs and alcohol are not allowed. This leaves guys on the streets that are in need of help, but we are having a hard time reaching.” Ross said that while it’s the agency’s goal to try and feed everyone who asks, this last year has been an especially tough one. He also acknowledges that it won’t stop him or his staff from trying. “We try to house and feed everyone that comes to our door, but over the past year, that has been hard. We have added a new mobile meal program to try to reach more people,” he said. “Our goal is to feed and house all those that need it, and we will continue to work hard every day to accomplish this.” ! CHANEL DAVIS is the current editor of YES! Weekly and graduated from N.C. A&T S.U. in 2011 with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications. She’s worked at daily and weekly newspapers in the Triad region.
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Triad leaders condemn bill requiring ICE cooperation “Require Cooperation with ICE 2.0,” the official short title of the recently introduced North Carolina State Bill 101, bluntly describes its intended function. If it passes, law enforcement ofIan McDowell ficials must detain suspected undocuYES! Writer mented immigrants for 48 hours. The bill would also require sheriff’s offices to report to a legislative committee about their immigration enforcement. Sheriffs failing to comply with procedures outlined in the bill would face a Class I misdemeanor. The Senate bill, sponsored by District 48’s Chuck Edwards, District 13’s Danny Earl Britt, and District 2’s Norman Sanderson, all Republicans, is closely modeled on HB 370. That 2019 bill passed the NC House in 2019 but was vetoed by Governor Roy Cooper, who called it unconstitutional. Immigrant Rights advocates and two members of the Greensboro City Council say the same thing about SB 101. Several allege that this bill is also intended as a punitive measure against immigrants and Blacks in retaliation for Republican electoral defeats. In February, Kelly Morales, incoming Executive Director of Siembra NC, issued a media release condemning NC State Bills 100 and 101. SB 100, which bears the short title “Police Funding and Protection Act” and was also sponsored by Senators Edwards, Sanderson, and Britt, would reduce state money for cities or counties that cut police funding by more than 1 percent of what their police received the previous fiscal year. Under that bill, local governments that cut police funding would see an equivalent decrease in funding from the state. “These bills are a clear statement of the NC GOP’s priorities during this pandemic,” wrote Morales, who described the bills as intended to “punish Black & Latinxs voters and organizers who have won victories across the state over the last two years, from policies limiting sheriff-ICE collaboration to reallocations of local tax dollars towards nonpunitive programs that will create community safety.” Morales accused the GOP of “wasting time trying to ‘get even’ with voters across the state, rather than address the eviction crisis or the many life-threatening pandemic disparities.” In her statement, WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM
Morales declared that Siembra NC and its allies would “defeat SB 100 and SB 101, and any other attempts at criminalizing, targeting or intimidating Black and Brown North Carolinians, whether those come from copycat bills, more pendejadas [bullshit] from Alamance Sheriff Terry Johnson or employers and landlords trying to take advantage of our people.” Last week, Siembra NC member Ana Maria Reichenbach responded to our email elaborating on Morales’ allegation that the bill was a retaliatory measure aimed at “punishing” voters. “We know this is targeting voters who are opposed to the policies of Republicans,” Reichenbach wrote, “because this issue has become a Republican dogwhistle since last summer — across North Carolina, Republican Party campaigns ran ads accusing Black and Latino candidates of being in favor of ‘defund the police,’ even when they were not. And the bill would target localities like Durham, which has a majority voter of color electorate, that have passed budget resolutions to channel resources away from the police.” Reichenbach described what she alleged were the intended effects of each bill. “SB 101 is designed to intimidate, target and detain immigrants (Black and non-Black immigrants alike, it should be noted) and cause more family separation, by forcing a marriage of the criminal legal system and the civil immigration system, via jails controlled by North Carolina sheriffs. SB 100 is designed to target and intimidate the Black organizers and organizations who have been leading campaigns to redirect money from policing to nonpunitive community safety programs. The intent of both is to protect the status quo around policing and criminalization and to intimidate Black & Latinx North Carolinians.” Reichenbach singled out Alamance County Sheriff Terry Johnson and House Majority Whip Jon Hardister in her criticism. “Terry Johnson has been an active opponent of Black and Latinx efforts to create safety and justice in Alamance. Rep. Jon Hardister, as NC GOP House Whip, has actively recruited GOP votes for the House versions of these bills and others like them, going back many years. He’s a key architect of the NC GOP’s 11-year assault on Black, Latinx, and working-class North Carolinians.” When asked if he supports SB 101, Hardister replied “most likely,” adding the following statement: “I still need to read the bill in detail,
but we have voted on this subject in the past. I support immigration, but I believe local law enforcement should work with the federal government to uphold the rule of law. We are better off when law enforcement agencies work together and collaborate.” Greensboro city council at-large representative Michelle Kennedy told YES! Weekly that she is “absolutely opposed to SB 101.” Kennedy shared a letter that she and Mayor Nancy Vaughan sent to Governor Cooper, the full text of which is reproduced in italics below. We are local elected officials serving in towns, cities, and counties across the great state of North Carolina. We come to you as allies committed to immigrant communities and community safety. Mandated federal law enforcement practices with local law enforcement erodes trust in our communities, undermines community autonomy, and can result in increased racial profiling, fear of crime reporting, and additional negative impacts. Furthermore, we know that immigration enforcement negatively impacts immigrant mental health, birth outcomes, and trust in local law enforcement. Senate Republicans introduced SB 101 alongside Senate Bill 100 (Police Funding Protection Act) to further target Black and Brown communities. The legislature is pushing racist and divisive legislation rather than taking up Medicaid expansion or prioritizing the economic relief that our communities desperately need. SB 101 forces Sheriffs to comply with requests to hold immigrants past their criminal court release date. Currently, patterns of holding immigrants past their release date are voluntary and in other places have been ruled illegal. This proposal would change that and force Sheriffs to hold immigrants 48 hours longer, to give Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) time to take over custody. These types of policies encourage racial profiling — a history made famous in Arizona with Sheriff Joe Arpaio and also apparent throughout this state. Our communities already feel the impact of local immigration enforcement and are also footing the bill for incarcerating immigrants. In 2019, North Carolina taxpayers paid for the detention of 1,041 immigrants in state custody. We are fortunate to have community members willing to engage in our electoral processes to elect Sheriffs who will adjust local law enforcement’s relationships with ICE based on community input. We encourage this form of community participation,
and we urge you to support them during these challenging times. We are your allies, and we stand ready to help you make the case against this racist power grab. A clear position now on this and other anti-immigrant bills like HB62: Gov. Immigration Compliance and HB29: Verification of Immigration Status - SAVE will make it less likely for us to become divided in the future. When and if this comes to a veto, we will support you in publicly opposing SB101. This is not the first time we’ve seen this kind of proposal, and we hope your veto will allow us to focus on additional pressing issues, especially as we navigate the challenges presented by the pandemic. Several North Carolina sheriffs have stated their opposition to SB 101. Mecklenburg County Sheriff Gary McFadden wrote a Feb. 25 opinion piece for the Charlotte Post titled “Why I oppose bills to force NC sheriffs to honor ICE detainers” and subtitled “If initiative is voluntary, lawmakers should butt out.” McFadden described the bill as intended “to force every duly elected sheriff in North Carolina to honor heretofore voluntary ICE detainers, even if most of the Sheriff’s community – and the sheriff himself with the community in mind – is wholly opposed to such cooperation with ICE”. Forsyth County Sheriff Bobby Kimbrough opposed SD 101’s predecessor HB 370. When asked for his opinion on SD 101, Sheriff Kimbrough sent YES! Weekly the following statement: “This office is the Office of the People. We have always stood on – and will continue to stand on – what is moral, what is legal, and what is right. We have not, and we will not continue to detain someone once they have met the conditions of their release. We are a law-abiding law enforcement agency. If somehow this becomes law, then we will at that point comply with it. But it is not law, and there are many who will be opposing this because detaining someone once they have met the conditions of their release is not only illegal, but it is also wrong.” A request from YES! Weekly for Guilford County Sheriff Danny Roger’s stance on SB 101 had not received a response at press time. The online version of this article will be updated with any statements from his office. ! IAN MCDOWELL is the author of two published novels, numerous anthologized short stories, and a whole lot of nonfiction and journalism, some of which he’s proud of and none of which he’s ashamed of.
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The Golden Shine’s “Common Misconceptions”
B
irds are singing, the sun is shining, spring is in the air—and the Golden Shine returns with a new EP, “Common Misconceptions,” out now via streaming Katei Cranford platforms. Defying the common misconception Contributor of what a recordingproject from Larry Wayne Slaton, the Old Heavy Hands rocker (and Legacy Irons tattoo artist,) might sound like, the Golden Shine offers an outlet on which he blends “lofi indie rock heartland honesty and new wave shimmer through a songwriter’s perspective.” Slaton’s perspective is soaked in sonic terrain and textural dimensions, with the Golden Shine taking its name from an image he conjures on the horizon. “There are some wooded hills near my house,” Slaton
explained, “and when you drive over them during the late afternoon golden hour, it looks like everything is drenched in gold by the sun—it’s an almost indescribable beauty.” Slaton’s best attempt at capturing that essence comes through in “the Golden Shine,” a phrase often visited in his songwriting. “I tend to write about whatever hits me at the moment,” he said,” but I find myself writing about friends, driving, and love a lot.” “Be Just Where You Are,” the first single off the new record, acts as a letter to himself. “I grew up in the southwest suburbs of Chicago, going to punk rock shows at the Fireside Bowl and Metro,” he said. “That song goes out to my younger self— to the kid standing there in the front row.” The Chicago connection extends throughout the Golden Shine, with involvement from Chicago expats Scotty Sandwich and Gar Clemens, who worked together for the Golden Shine’s debut, “Twice as Bright as Gold,” (released in January 2020). The Windy City influence of the three, who also play in the “dream
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punk” outfit Belle Letters, helps curb assumptions of sounds the Golden Shine would carry. “At first, people figured it’d be acoustic folk or alt-country songs,” Slaton recalled of making the first record. “I know for a fact a few people were surprised,” he added. Explaining his widearray of influences by listing local loves, Slaton asserts himself as a “self-proclaimed music nerd.” “I love to love it. I love to hate it. I’m greatly influenced by my friends who write the best songs: Woodrow Hart, Nate Hall, and Gar Clemens, who always makes me want to keep writing. I love the styles of Drew Foust, Jon Dwyer, and Josh King too,” he said. “I love The Stones,” he continued, turning to worldwide acts. “I love John Prine. I love The Boss. I love Tom Petty. I love The Clash. I love Outkast, Hot Water Music, The Drive-By Truckers and Jason Isbell, The Weakerthans, and A Tribe Called Quest.” And all that love results in Slaton honing a style that’s distinctly not an Old Heavy Hands offshoot, nor is it entirely a departure for fans. “I don’t think it’s as drastic of a change as Dee Dee Ramone’s rap record, or even Neil Young’s “Trans” record,” he noted, describing the difference as “a little closer to Joe Strummer’s shift from The Clash to The Mescaleros.” For Slaton, it’s purely organic. “I’m drawn to atmospheric, dreamy sounding music, so this project is usually the place for that to surface,” he explained, adding songs from the Golden Shine sit comfortably on a playlist amongst acts like Maggie Rogers, Wilco, Kurt Vile, My Morning Jacket, or The Replacements. Notes of the Replacements certainly ring in “Secret Weapons,” the first track, which not only drops a lyric of the album title, it also stands as a testament to the record’s purpose. “This EP is a direct result of the need to make music,” Slaton noted. “It seems like every musician of any capacity has felt hollow at some point over the past year,” he added of the song (and overall album), which worked to re-energize creative flows for everyone involved—notably bassist Josh Coe. “He’s been a huge part of this project and a driving force in keeping this whole
thing moving forward,” Slaton noted, recalling how a phone call from Coe kickstarted production. Coe, and House of Fools drummer, Jack Foster had finished renovating home studios. Slaton had his trusty bathroom (with acoustics befitting both records thus far). Individual parts were recorded remotely and sent off to the Sandwich Shoppe for mixing. In contrast to the array of guest artists on the first album (including appearances from Nick Musillami and Woodrow Hart from the Color Realm, Jonny Clousson, backing vocals from Lydia Loveless and Lauren Reece; and drums by Kyle Cox from End Serenade and Almost People) the cast of “Common Misconceptions” hits closer to home. Slaton’s wife, Laura Murphy, lent backing vocals. “We’ve been married for a decade and, I knew she could sing, but I had no idea she could sing like that,” Slaton said. “I asked her to try and sing some backup vocals and soon realized maybe I should be the one singing backups.” And his stepdad, author Andrew Kenning, read from Kenning’s book “Devil Don’t Go,” on the “Jawbreaker-esque” interlude for “Only Temporary.” Both Coe and Slaton enjoyed the experience. “In a studio setting, you can have a ‘on the clock’ feeling that makes you rush the process,” Coe explained. Slaton agreed, “When that moment of epiphany or inspiration hits, all you have to do is jump right in there and plug-in.” Carrying that spirit, the pair continues to bask in recording the Golden Shine; and recently captured sax and EWI solos from Casey Cranford at Beer Co (Coe’s bottle shop in downtown Greensboro). They’ll likely end up on a Fleetwood Mac cover at Coe’s urging. But Slaton doesn’t plan to dim on new material. “I have a pretty long and ever-expanding list of songs I’ve yet to record,” he said, “and I myself am excited to see what happens to those!” “Common Misconceptions,” a new EP from the Golden Shine, is available over streaming platforms. ! KATEI CRANFORD is a Triad music nerd who hosts “Katei’s Thursday Tour Report,” a radio show spotlighting area artists and events, Thurs. 5:30-7 p.m. on WUAG 103.1FM. #ksttr
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last call
[THE ADVICE GODDESS] love • sex • dating • marriage • questions
SPITE GIRL
In my romantic relationships, conflicts bring out a side of me that I don’t like. I fly into a rage and end up making ugly comments I later regret. In the moment, it’s like I can’t stop. I’m shocked by the level of anger I have, and I’m afraid to enter relationships as a result. —Exploding Woman
Amy Alkon
Advice Goddess
There are obvious shortcuts in anger management, such as: “Never go to bed angry. Smother the unreasonable idiot next to you so you can get some sleep.” Anger gets knocked as a toxic emotion, but when somebody’s disrespecting or fleecing us, our blowing up suggests this won’t end well for them — in a way our being all “Hey, no prob, bro” does not. Research by evolutionary psychologist Aaron Sell suggests anger evolved as a “bargaining” tool to help the angry person resolve conflicts of interest in their favor. Sell observes that anger is one of a few emotions (like sadness) that “regulates” others’ behavior as well as our own. Anger rises in us when we perceive someone is treating us unfairly — not putting enough value on our well-being — and motivates us to get them to mend their ways. It motivates the person we’re angry at through two means: the prospect that we’ll “withdraw benefits” (like by
shutting off the sex spigot) like sex or the perks of friendship) or “inflict costs” (like by throwing public tantrums or hacking off the left arm of all their shirts). So, anger is a potential solution, a negotiating platform. The problem comes when you express it in counterproductive ways, leaving you embarrassed, ashamed, out of a job, or in the slammer. Going explosively ugly at a romantic partner is like using a shoulder-fired missile launcher to get martini olives out of a jar. Sure, it works to remove the olives — and you might eventually find a few specks of them on the cable guy’s truck two streets back. To be human is to be occasionally explody, but habitual exploders tend to be driven by some or all of this trio: conflict avoidance, irrational beliefs, and/ or unannounced needs. Conflict avoidance:People avoid difficult conversations to avoid the unpleasantness that comes with. Unfortunately, avoiding conflict doesn’t make it go away, and the unpleasantness only grows; it’s just all on their end, continually eating them up inside and making them angrier. In contrast, when you confront somebody, the discomfort is momentary. It also solves a problem — either by prompting them to come around or finding out that they probably never will. Irrational beliefs:Pop the hood of rage and you’ll typically find the irrational belief that psychologist Albert Ellis sometimes sums up as “People MUST always treat me well!” (or MUST this or that). In fact, Ellis explains, it’s rational to prefer to be treated well, but nobody “must” do anything. There’s only how they do
behave and how you’ll decide to behave in response. “Catastrophizing” is Ellis’ term for a companion irrational belief: “It will be HORRIBLE if they treat me badly!” “Horrible” is getting flattened to death by the secretly motorized walls of your bathroom closing in on you or getting chased and eaten by giant cockroaches. But somebody being kind of a jerk to you will merely be disappointing, annoying, frustrating, and/or depressing. You’ve survived all of these feelings before, and you’re sure to do it again. And again. Unannounced needs: People blow up over their needs that keep going unmet — which really isn’t reasonable or fair when these needs remain unannounced. No, you can’t just hint or decide that a man “should just know” what you want. Yes, you have to tell him. He can’t read your thoughts on his Kindle. Present your needs as a feelings-driven “ask” rather than an attack, which sets him up to listen instead of fight back. For example: “I feel X way when things go like this. Here’s what I’d prefer.” If he cares about you, hearing that you feel bad should evoke empathy and make him
want to make you feel better — possibly by doing what you’re asking. At the very least, he might tell you he can’t and explain why. To change your habitual ragey response to conflict, pre-plan and even practice a more rational reaction. Should a discussion start getting heated, suggest taking a break and maybe take a walk solo to calm down. Lapses are probably inevitable, so try to avoid them, but expect them and forgive yourself. Telling your partner about your efforts might help him forgive lapses, too, as well as giving him hope for your future together. Ideally, his pet name for you should be something boringly endearing like “honey,” “darling,” or “babe,” as opposed to the nickname of my (now-reformed hothead) friend Hiroko — Japanese for “magnanimous” — whose former boyfriend couldn’t help but call her “Hiroshima.” ! GOT A PROBLEM? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@ aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com). Follow her on Twitter @amyalkon. Order her latest “science-help” book, Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence. ©2021 Amy Alkon. Distributed by Creators.Com.
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The Sportscenter Athletic Club is a private membership club dedicated to providing the ultimate athletic and recreational facilities for our members of all ages. Conveniently located in High Point, we provide a wide variety of activities for our members. We’re designed to incorporate the total fitness concept for maximum benefits and total enjoyment. We cordially invite all of you to be a part of our athletic facility, while enjoying the membership savings we offer our established corporate accounts.
3811 Samet Dr • HigH Point, nC 27265 • 336.841.0100 FITNESS ROOM • INDOOR TRACK • INDOOR AQUATICS CENTER • OUTDOOR AQUATICS CENTER • RACQUETBALL BASKETBALL • CYCLING • OUTDOOR SAND VOLLEYBALL • INDOOR VOLLEYBALL • AEROBICS • MULTI-PURPOSE ROOM WHIRLPOOL • MASSAGE THERAPY • PROGRAMS & LEAGUES • SWIM TEAMS • WELLNESS PROGRAMS PERSONAL TRAINING • TENNIS COURTS • SAUNA • STEAM ROOM • YOGA • PILATES • FREE FITNESS ASSESSMENTS FREE E QUIPMENT O RIENTATION • N URSE RY • T E NNIS L E SSONS • W IRE L E SS INT E RNE T L OUNGE
MARCH 31 - APRIL 6, 2021
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Prepare for power outages with a Generac home standby generator REQUEST A FREE QUOTE!
336-900-2757
FREE
7-Year Extended Warranty* A $695 Value!
Offer valid February 15 - June 6, 2021
Special Financing Available Subject to Credit Approval
*To qualify, consumers must request a quote, purchase, install and activate the generator with a participating dealer. Call for a full list of terms and conditions.