How do you host a wedding when your parents
DON’T GET ON? From wording invitations to walking down the aisle, Claire Muir gets expert advice on getting around tricky family situations to ensure the day of your dreams is just that
DOING THE GROUNDWORK First things first – getting the word out! Historically, wedding invitations came from the bride’s parents but it’s now pretty normal for them to come from the couple themselves – ideal if the bride’s parents are no longer together. Next up, couples with complicated family dynamics can avoid unwelcome plus ones by addressing each and every invitation directly to the person invited. For extra security, look into an electronic RSVP service that’ll limit responses to one per submission. Hitting the bridal boutiques may be anxiety-inducing if you’ve not got the traditional entourage (step-mum or step-siblings on the scene?) but there are some solutions. Make memories on
separate shopping trips or, if time is of the essence and you fancy yourself as a peacemaker, ask for a joint jaunt. “You could ask your mum and step-mum to put their differences aside for a day. You’ll know yourself if it’s possible,” says Mirka Jankowska at Mirka Bridal Couture.”
“You could ask your mum and step-mum to put their differences aside for a day. You’ll know yourself if it’s possible.”
Alastair Ferrier
18 | YOUR Scottish WEDDING.CO.UK
Mirka Jankowska “Otherwise, bring the one whose opinion you trust. Then, to make sure no-one feels excluded, offer to bring the other person to your fittings. Ask beforehand for a longer appointment with some Prosecco to make it extra special.” When it comes to their outfits, you’ll want to avoid clashing and upstaging – without offending, of course. Shop with your step-mother, suggests Caroline McGlynn, events manager at Macdonald
Caroline McGlynn | Alastair Ferrier
Houston House Hotel. “Show her your mother’s dress and ask her to stick to a specific colour and style,” she says. “This can help when it comes to the photos.” But who gets ready with who? You may get on better with your step-mother but feel having your mum for wedding morning prep is the ‘right’ thing to do, for example. Caroline suggests inviting both if possible. “Alternatively, have one get ready with you and the other take part in a different part of the day. Might she like to be a witness? Consider asking for your dad’s advice, too.”
TIME TO GET MARRIED When it comes to ceremony logistics, wedding planners have seen it all and Oskar Gilchrist-Grodnicki of The Wedding Guru – Oskar can vouch for that. His overarching advice? Don’t stick to tradition if you don’t feel like it’s you. “I’ve had grooms awaiting their brides to walk in together, brides walking down alone, both parents walking the bride or the couple’s children walking with their mum. You want to feel like you’re getting the right support for you.” Keep the vows conflict-free by allocating seating and embracing the age-old tradition of having ‘sides’. Got three sides altogether? Just add a second
