contributors jacob sanders cover, p3, p6 andy evans p4-5
jacobsandersart.com andyevansart.com
jason melton p6-7
meaningfulsports.com
pui yan fong p8
puiyanfong.com
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Issue DOMINANCE “Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.” -Kurt Vonnegut SO FIRSTLY, thank you for taking a look at this. Thanks to all the contributors. They’re really the main reason for the creation of Zaftig. I wanted to showcase their work, and create an environment to allow for us all to express ourselves. All of the contributors have their own venues for their work, but Zaftig serves as a sort of playground for artists and writers. And this thing exists to (hopefully) create a positive, upward spiral into greatness, connecting talented people along the way. So here’s how the zine will work: all work is based on a theme each month. And all of the contributors interpret the theme from that point. A bit about Dominance. It’s something that comes to mind a lot, especially in social interaction. To me, it seems to be the opposition of love and acceptance. I catch myself some times participating in ‘the game’ : Talking down to someone, acting like a person of some importance or authority, basically being something I’m not. I try not to, but it happends. Mostly I catch myself when I’m the person receiving this treatment, after which I either metaphorically eat out of their hands or become overwhelmingly defensive. It depends how well someone is playing the game. I’ve noticed dominance peek its creepy, heated face in some way into my friendships, career, hobbies, and even my own inner dialogue. But dominance is an element in human existance that has heightened our way of life. It’s necessary, it’s progress... It’s an interesting topic, and it, of course, can be interpreted in different ways. So I gave each contributor the theme and let them go from there. I’m very pleased with what was created, and here it is. Jacob Sanders
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Andy Evans
THIS opens with a digital lion chasing a digital antelope through a digital field, the worst CGI attempted. The class laughs at a television buckled to a wheeled cart, and the idea that CGI could happen on a public television budget in the late ‘80’s. But it’s okay. It’s okay to enjoy bad things—even when they’re uncontroversially bad. It’s okay to not pay attention or to think about having the world’s strongest hands or a bald guy nicknamed “Ponytail”. Anyway, the show starts. Alan Alda narrates while macaques display their teeth and fight for king of the cage. Their chest walls pump, and their furry little hearts hum like an engine. These here are some Old World Monkeys with their adrenaline, and furry little, cute little arms. Alan Alda is being serious about things and has taken a new interest in the science of stress, but you can tell he’s still funny. Alan Alda is just too funny.
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“Macaque” is a hard word to spell. The ones in this video are fed an American diet, many times their normal amount of salt and fat. They are kept in smaller than normal space, to amplify the competition for alpha monkey. Is this humane? I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. This is about stress and domination, and Alan Alda narrates.
There are two types of people—antelopes and lions; you’re fa miliar with how this works. The antelope avoids any dude humming the Macarena. In our present era, you’re only allowed to write songs about dancing are hip hop in genre (e.g. “Teach Me How to Dougie”). The lion punches the throat of any dude who would hum the Macarena in our present era, addi ng a forced emphasis to the final note. But this antelope/lion distinction is not about violence. It is about a relationship between an individual and their Macarenafilled environment—Macarena and every song. It’s about forming the world to you, or forming yourself to the world. Come on everyone, it’s about alphas and betas. But it’s about more than that. It’s about using dominance as a blanket, and how to be a happy beta. It’s about being assertively passive: about being an alpha beta. Sure it is because I don’t want to decide anything, and I have the discipline and acuity to trick other people into dominating me. Here’s how: when I take a hot bikini babe out on a date, we have to choose between dining at the Subway built into the gas station or the Dunkin’ Donuts built into the gas station. I don’t want to decide anything. She asks “which?” So I respond “which is the best?” As if that isn’t exactly what she just asked me. It works. “Which?” says the hot bikini babe behind the counter at Starbucks, “we have light roast, medium roast, and recycled oil.” “Which is the best?” and this babe looks at me, looks at the line, and pours me a cup of oil. That’s how it’s done. This trick, as with all things outside of God, has its weaknesses. Some questions are too difficult. Take, for example, when a bikini babe asks “Do you love me?” You can’t respond with “Which is the best?” It simply doesn’t accommodate the complexity of this question. One has to improvise. Yell “what is the ontological status of the concept LOVE.” Throw acid in her eyes. Kick her into a grocery cart that’s rolling toward traffic. Run. Anyway, I’m oblivious about life. But fade in Alan Alda’s voice and a video of a macaque scratching another macaque on the face, cramped cage, fatty diet. Scientists tranquilize the alpha macaque and put it on a medical bed. They take blood samples and check its heart rate. They do this over and over, and they find a connection between being an alpha macaque and heart disease. Something about stress. It’s no fun being on top if you have to constantly defend it. I clasp to the bottom.
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THANKS FOR READING. WE’LL BE BACK NEXT M O N T H
Pui Yan Fong