Zephyrus i7

April 24, 2009

Robbie Latta staff writer Two to three years from now, a somewhat controversial transportation alternative may be available to Edinans. If current plans become realities, the proposed Nine Mile Creek pedestrian and bike trail will allow residents to zip across town without burning a single gallon of gas. According to a 2006 needs assessment survey, many residents desire a non-motorized transportation option, and more would simply like a reason to get off the couch.

“The overwhelming majority of Edina residents desire biking and walking trails for exercise, fitness and for enjoying the outdoors and nature,” said Edina Park and Recreation Department director, John Keprios.

The proposed route, possibly to be started before the end of 2009, would continue the work-in-progress Hopkins segment, cross Highway 169, and pass by Walnut Ridge Park, Creek Valley Elementary School, and even the lower fields at EHS. A trail that passes by EHS “could help alleviate congestion for drop-offs and parking at the campus if more people can bike and walk to school,” said Kirk Johnson, the chair of the Bike Edina Task Force.

Alex Dirr, a sophomore at EHS already bikes to school from his home in Minneapolis, but a trail that alleviates congestion “would make it way easier and safer,” he said.

In addition, the trail would provide sports teams a safe area for running, biking, and roller skiing.

“It is also good for natural environment studies because staff and students have better access to and from the campus to a variety of habitats,” said Johnson.

Volume 29

May Day in Minnesota

Culture

New Disney Princess?

Features

Race in Edina

In-Depth

Too many cars, too few spots

ED/OP

Plays

Top 5 Youtube

Sports

INSIDE

6754 Valley View Road Edina, MN 55439

Issue 8

When leaving EHS, the trail would either snake through the neighborhood to the east or follow Antrim Road and W. 70th Street. At Metro Blvd., the trail would cross over Highway 100 and pass Fred Richards Golf Course. After a sharp left turn, a bridge over France Avenue would allow access to Centennial Lakes Park, Galleria Shopping Center, or Southdale.

Finally, after crossing into Richfield, the route would continue to either Lake Nokomis to the North, or the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge to the south.

Despite the strong desire for another mode of transportation in Edina, many residents, especially those who live near the proposed route, remain wary. Many parts of the path run near private property, raising concerns about traffic, noise, and crime.

Patricia Hasselstrom, a longtime resident of Edina, worries that a bike and pedestrian trail would disrupt wildlife and be ascetically unappealing. “[The proposed route] is literally in my back yard, which would be an issue,” said Hasselstrom.

Another issue in the construction of such a trail is cost. Expenses could include the building of bridges over major Highways 62 and 100, a tunnel under Tracy Avenue, and re-alignment of roads and sidewalks. Also on the bill is the need to rearrange Nine Mile Creek to make its banks more accommodating to a trail. These expenses do not include the cost of constructing the trail itself. As of now, the cost of a bike and pedestrian trail is yet to be determined. It is likely that funding would come from Three Rivers Park District, the authority that is overseeing the construction of the Hopkins segment of the bike and pedestrian trail. The district also manages 27,000 acres of parks and trails in the Metropolitan area.

Although these hurdles seem costly, the Three Rivers Park District expects that around 500,000 people would use the trail annually, evidence that Edinans see a new transportation option as a worthwhile investment.

Doc Locklear considers costs of cuts Michael Fetterman staff writer

in administrative services in the up coming school year, an elimination of the district copy center, and a reduction in paraprofessionals, custodians, and various extra duties

“”

Many of us are finding it difficult to find summer jobs, When the source of our funding has decreased and we have all grown familiar with our parents’ attempts to spend less money. One way or another, virtually all of us to such a degree, we are of course going to feel have felt the effects of the current economic situation. As the crisis touches our school system, we will begin to feel some implications. But at the end of the day, our its effects in yet another way – budget reductions for the upcoming school year. goal is to maintain excellence and ensure equity According to the Edina Public Schools Superintendent, Ric Dressen, state funding (which makes up about in Edina High School- Dr. Locklear 70% of the district budget) may decrease as much as $1.25 million to $2.6 million. that teachers have been paid for. In addition, students can “When the source of our funding has decreased to such a expect to see an increase in class sizes. degree, we are of course going to feel some implications,” said The process through which these proposed cuts are Principal Doctor Locklear. “But at the end of the day, our goal is to determined has been thoughtful and deliberate. “We want maintain excellence and ensure equity in Edina High School.” to make sure that we include as many stakeholders as we Dressen said that the school district will attempt to make possibly can in this process,” said Locklear. cuts in a way that minimizes the impact on student learnFirst, ideas have been discussed and formulated by a Budget ing. Students and staff at EHS are likely to see a reduction Reduction, Reallocation, and Revenue Generation task force

(BRRRG) consisting of about forty-eight parents, teachers, and community members. Ideas discussed within the BRRRG came from suggestions offered by community members and parents through the school’s website, as well as from the school staff, via the staff meetings.

These ideas were then further discussed by a Lead Team, consisting of the district administration, a representative from secondary schools, and a representative from the elementary schools.

Finally, ideas were framed as recommendations and passed to the school board who will finalize the decisions.

According to Dressen, the proposed changes will be approved by the school board in April; however, the budget reductions cannot be finalized until the state’s budget allocations have been passed by the state legislature. For this reason, the cuts will likely see adjustments in August and even October.

The recession has affected us all, and our school is no exception. “Of course, I don’t want to take anything out of this school; I want to keep adding to it,” said Locklear. “But we’re faced with the reality that we have to do more with less.” And in the coming years, we will be required to do exactly that.

news 2 Mexico’s drug war creates concern in US Zephyrus Volume 29, Issue 8 APRIL 24, 2009

ZEPHYRUSNEWS.COM

Catherine Kerwin staff writer Violence from the drug wars in Mexico has been escalating over the past few years. Now, with continual reports of violence and danger, the fighting may have reached its peak and potential vacationers to Mexico are concerned. But for tourists who cannot keep themselves from Mexico, the farther from the border, the better.

As gangs fight for control over territory, no one is safe, not even women and children. According to a Minnesota Public Radio report, over 6,000 people have been killed in the past year alone. Kidnappings and beheadings are just some of the horrible atrocities occurring frequently. Even in areas close to tourist resorts the violence is not stopping—near the Cancun beach strip there have been a number of brutal shootings.

Despite frequent warnings to stay away from Mexico from credible news sources like ABC and Fox, visitors from Edina did not notice much out of the ordinary.

During a recent vacation south of the border to Mexico City, Wahaka, and Puerto Escondido, Youth Development-Youth Service Manager Rachael Pream Grenier was not concerned for her safety, nor did she feel that the current drug war infringed photo courtesy of news.yahoo.com upon her time there.

“The news focuses on drama, but regardless you should be careful while traveling—wherever you go,” Grenier explained. RISING VIOLENCE: A body is removed from a battleground of Mexico’s Secretary of State Hilary Clinton also recently travelled to drug war. Last year an estimated 19 Americans were killed as a result.

Mexico on March 26, when she claimed that the U.S. is partially to blame for the drug wars. point, however, many of the initiatives being enacted by Obama were begun “We know very well that the drug traffickers are motivated by the demand by the Bush administration. Together with Congress, the Bush administration for illegal drugs in the United States, and that they are armed by the transport planned to give $700 million to the Mexican government, send 20,000 border of weapons from the United States,” Clinton said. patrol agents to the southern border, have better screening of vehicles crossing Through the United States, the drug cartels are provided with a huge num- the border, and bring in more agents to track down smugglers. ber of weapons and ammunition, and by providing drug lords with these arms, With help from the U.S., authorities believe that Mexico can be saved, helpAmericans only fuel the flames to a vicious fire. ing not only vulnerable Mexican citizens but also protecting the U.S. from the The Obama administration wants to invest more to end this war. At this brutal violence.

Seniors prepare for Mentor program faces May Term projects changes for next year Megan Evans staff writer Seniors will soon vanish from the school, leaving behind only memories. Some, however, will disappear sooner than others because of May Term. This program allows students to personalize their studies through projects performed during the month of May. This year’s student projects range from gardening to going to Italy.

The application process for a May Term project includes a packet of questions, and for some, an interview. To legitimatize the project, students are required to have a professional to guide and sign off on all projects.

Students are exempt from class work, but are responsible for finals.

Not all of the projects were accepted. The students general consensus was that a lack of preparation was the culprit in the project’s failures.

Senior Kyle Sogard, who planned to bike to Canada to raise awareness of the genocide in Darfur, said the May Term committee “thought we didn’t have enough time to get sufficient funds and sponsors.”

Two projects that were accepted include testing water in the Boundary Waters and building a computer from scratch.

Senior Bailey Williamson is going to the Boundary Waters with senior Mary Jacobs and a graduate of the University of Minnesota. Williamson thinks that her project was approved because “we were really diligent…kind of obsessive.”

Seniors Alex Nelson, Stephan Bennett, Erik Berger, and Josh Stewart are going to build a computer by photo by Anna Waldo hand and create a “how-to” guide. Nelson said of their PERSONAL PROJECTS: May term project that “We’re doing a projects range from painting EHS walls lot of stuff… it’s legit.” to traveling to foreign countries.

Advice? Start early.

Anna Waldo news editor Some students are rethinking their schedules for next year because Mentor Connection, a program through District 287 that allows students to partner with a mentor from a specific career field, is being discontinued at EHS. District 287 was created in Minnesota to provide students with educational and support programs not offered through regular coursework at school. One such program, Mentor Connection, lets students explore professions that they are considering after they finish their education. Students take two hours out of their regular school day to do research and work with their mentor.

Last year there were seventeen school districts partnered with District 287 for Mentor Connection, but now as the economy worsens and districts must tighten their budget, some schools are abandoning the program. Because the cost of Mentor Connection is extremely high and each year only a handful of students join the program, EHS decided to end its partnership with District 287.

However, the Edina school board plans to create a new program that will be essentially the same as Mentor Connection. The difference is that the school will not be partnered with District 287, which means the district must design its own curriculum and find professionals willing to spend their time mentoring students for the program.

“The core of the new program is the same,” Principal Dr. Bruce Locklear explained.

“It will still have the same classroom, coach, and mentor aspects.”

Currently, EHS is considering either collaborating with Eden Prairie, which has similar plans regarding Mentor Connection, or contacting a few professors from the University of Minnesota to help design a curriculum.

As for finding mentors for the program, “EHS has an advantage because of the strength in the Edina community,” Locklear said. “There are so many businesses, so we can hopefully connect the school to the business community.”

However, some students are apprehensive about a new program.

“I don’t want to be the guinea pig for this program that’s been planned just three months before,” said junior Rian Lissick. “Mentor Connection is such a great opportunity for kids, but we’re not sure if this new program would allow us to have the same experience as the old one.”

Despite student hesitations, EHS is planning to continue with this new program that will hopefully allow students to glimpse career possibilities through mentorship.

“”

We’re not sure if this new program would allow us to have the same experience as the old one. ~ Rian Lissick (11)

features

ZEPHYRUSNEWS.COM

Zephyrus Volume 29, Issue 8 May 24, 2009

3

Underclassmen at Prom?

Kenzie Miller copy editor Powder-puff games, self-arrived themes at Sadies. Among these are many other freedoms EHS affords not only the seniors, but the juniors as well. Naturally, though, seniors get a little angry about the fact that “youngsters” have been allowed to take part in some of the fun reserved for only the senior class.

We learn as kindergarteners to “wait our turn.”

Are seniors, then, acting maturely or immaturely when they whine about juniors being allowed into senior parties, on the same beaches of senior trips, or in the same groups for dances?

Aha. Dances. A definite soft-spot on the (massive) head of the senior class. And so we raise the question: Should juniors be allowed to enter the gates of such a rite of passage as prom? Should it even be legal?

Some say, the more the merrier. “If you get asked [as a junior] by an older date, then why not go?” asked senior Katie Anderson, and added, “there’s really no reason why having a art by Tess Jensen

Guten tag, German exchange students!

Exchange programs bring students from various countries to learn at EHS Carolyn Beese staff writer

have a fun time in America.”

Students make lasting international friendships and learn about other cultures.

“It’s a great experience. A great [number] of new friends made keep in touch through e-mail,” explained Kosel.

The positive experiences have a lasting effect on the participating students. “I can just recommend it to every student because it is a great experience,” explained Claudius Göttsching, a student from GAAP. Hopefully the students will have a wonderful time attending EHS, visiting the Mall of America, eating a cheeseburger at Convention Grill, watching a Twins game and enjoying being in America.

You may have noticed a few new students walking the halls of EHS in the month of April. Two groups of German exchange programs are here in Minnesota at the same time and are roaming the school.

The first group is the German American Partnership Program (GAAP), which is a two-way exchange with a school in Wurzen, Germany. Eleven students are here from this group, and in June, eleven EHS students will swap places and go to Germany.

“We’re looking at America through the lens of Edina,” commented Dr. Horst Kosel, the chaperone from GAAP. Besides shadowing EHS students, GAAP has been to Feed My Starving Children, and during sixth period, different guest speakers visit the exchange students to talk about responsibilities of the school and local government.

The second program, Home Stays Abroad (HSA), is a one-way program from Limburg, Germany. Eleven students are participating through this program, but not all of them are shadowing at Edina. “[I came] to learn English better, [and] to experience other cultures,” explained exchange student Kevin Butzbach from the HSA program. “My English knowledge is better. I understand more and more,” Butzbach remarked.

Sophomore Connor Ryan is hosting an exchange student through HSA. He said that hosting an exchange student photo courtesy of http://www.topnews.in/ “is an educational experience. I want to files/germanymap2gif show my exchange student Nico, how to

junior on the dance floor would be an issue for me.”

Senior Charlie Meeker agrees with Anderson, adding “juniors should definitely be allowed to go to, and enjoy, prom.”

Other, less accepting rug-cutters disagree with Anderson. “To me, it’s always been such a seniorsonly thing. Ideally, we’d keep it that way,” asserted senior Jane Christensen.

So, what’s the deal anyway? Where do the authorities come in? Mel Pusateri, advisor to Student Council and mastermind behind the dances clarified, “prom has always been open to juniors. It’s just always been more of a tradition for the senior class.”

And what do juniors think? “Prom, to me, is definitely a senior thing. That being said, I’m really not that intimidated to be going,” commented junior Amanda Maenner, who plans on attending prom with her senior boyfriend.

Clearly, and not surprisingly, EHS remains guarded and divided on the issue of prom. My advice? If you’re asked, slap on your Sunday best, lace up those dancing shoes, and have fun. It’s your prom.

Word on the Street: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Hannah Nelson (11): “I’ll probably end up having a ton of kids like John and Kate Plus Eight...but hopefully not eight...‘cause that would be sorta crazy.

Anna Morton (12): “I’m going to be in Africa (like Rwanda maybe) and help orphaned children.

I’ll either help build orphanages or work in one.

That, or I’ll wrangle lions.”

Will Lidke (10): “I will be working one of my many side jobs to keep me financially afloat as I pursue my dream of becoming an actor/film director in New York City.”

Tom Schmidt (11): “I’d be home watching Lost, Season 27. It will not die…errr, I guess it’d be 17. Whatevs.”

Sammy Martin-Dillon (10): “Homeless.”

Michael Ellenberger (11): “Well, I think pre-med/doctor is what I’m leaning toward now, but things change. And then obviously I’d like to get married and have a family.

You know, living the high life and the American Dream.” photos by Teddy Hoffman

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Zephyrus Volume 29, Issue 6 April 24, 2009

features

To Edina’s promising young individuals, photo courtesy of myspace.com

All your life, you’ve been told by parents, teachers, and overachieving peers to do homework, to study hard and always put your best foot forward in school. If you haven’t, then I’m telling you now: Do your homework, study hard, and put BEN STREETER: your best foot Caring about your forward, espefuture beyond EHS cially if college is on your list of things to do.

Sure it’s possible to coast through high school toward looming college obligations. I even know a guy who put off his residency forms and wrote this article two days later than its due date. When you coast, sometimes your grades (and future) reflect that behavior, and then you’re in a pickle.

I realized all this somewhere between applying for the University of Minnesota and getting wait-listed twice. If you can collect yourself a little earlier you’re already winning the high school/college/ life race. But k i d s , t h e g o ‘ r o u n d isn’t finished.

Turning in applications early never hurts and also relieves a lot of stress.

Further, get in the habit of reading your college mail now (both emails and U.S. Postal Service-delivered parcels). I know you’ve been barraged for a while with mail that goes straight to the recycling, but now you’ll have to do some sorting.

So let’s say you get accepted.

Even if a college decides to take your money, there is still more for you to do.

The last thing you want to do is turn in your Residency Contract and deposit late.

You might just end up in a 4-6 person “lounge” at University of Wisconsin -Eau Claire, like me. Sounds sweet, right? Well, I’m not so sure that’s the case.

When the Residency office finds me a two-person room, I’ll be expected to move in immediately. So there goes my chance for a five-person bromance. It also doesn’t help that the “lounge” in the Residency Hall I’ve applied for is in the basement and right across from the Dorm Supervisor.

Remember, college is a big deal. It’s where I was meant to spend my money.

It’s what I took the ACT seven times for.

And it’s where I’ll be learning countless new ways to slack off.

But it’s also where I’ll find success.

And I know in the bottom of my EdinaHigh-School-educated-and-enhanced heart, so will you. I love you.

Word to your mother, Ben Streeter, Managing Editor

ZEPHYRUSNEWS.COM

Tracking down your other half Christina Kosters staff writer

Ever wonder what internet dating is like?

Try looking for a college roommate and you might get a feel for it. To pair roommates, some colleges are using internet surveys and personality match-ups that are similar to internet dating services.

Finding a college roommate has evolved from sticking students in a room together and hoping it works to hand-written tests and now to online surveys and internet chatting. In fact, many bigger colleges are providing their new students with an online personality test.

After taking the test, students are given the names of those who had similar scores to theirs or are “compatible.” Students can then attach phone numbers, Facebook links, or other information to their name so that prospective people can contact them or learn a little about them. Other schools simply start Facebook groups that incoming students can join based on graduating year. Many people pick a few to “friend” and chat with and get to know in hopes of finding someone ideal to live with for their college life.

One EHS senior who found her roommate through Facebook was Melena Mase. She commented, “We got talking about things we like and I decided to room with her based on similarity.” Her roommate later came to town and they went out to dinner together with her

roommate’s parents. Mase jokingly said it was very much like a first date.

Senior Allie Krug also found her roommate through the internet. She said, “I picked my top five and then really started talking to them. I started asking questions, like what they are majoring in and things they do on weekends.”

At one point, her potential roommate asked if Allie wanted to leave her options open. Krug replied, “Doesn’t it seem like we’re trying to date?” They had been Facebook friends and texting for about three months, so the two of them decided to make the jump and declare themselves roommates.

Senior Katie Anderson, after “creeping” a bit on Facebook, found out she was coincidentally going to spring break in the same place as a girl in her DePauw Facebook group. In fact, they were even on the same flight! They got to know each other over break and made their “relationship” official. “I talked about her to my friends like I would talk about a guy,” joked Anderson.

Though the internet may be helpful, it can hurt as well. Imagine walking into your dorm on move-in day and meeting something completely different from the person you expected.

“The scary thing about online stuff like the surveys is that people can lie and say they are really neat so they can get with someone really neat,” Krug said.

Hopefully this new “eHarmony” way of doing things will work out like commercials and prove itself as a success for future college freshman.

All the king’s men can’t fix the egg

section details the failed attempts to fix our economy; this section will use fairytale symbols representing the economy as a cracked egg, and “all the kings’ horses and May Day is known to most students for all the kings’ men,” representing the govMaypole dances, ribbons, and May baskets. ernment not being able to fix the egg. The However, the holiday is based in both pasecond section urges rejuvenation and regan traditions, which celebrate the coming newal, and, in addition to Chia characters of spring, and is celebrated as Labor Day that represent growth, seedlings will be worldwide (and unofficially in the US), comhanded out to the crowd lining the street. memorating the efforts of the Labor moveThe final section celebrates the wealth of ment in the 19th century and acting as a focal all things without a price tag. point of demonstrations. Although the United One float will be painted as the planet States rarely celebrates the labor roots of the Earth surrounded by hands of every color, tradition, one of the largest events observing illustrating that, no matter what our identiboth roots takes place in Minneapolis. ties are, we are all responsible for taking Every year since 1975, the Heart of the Beast care of the world. Four dragons will reprePuppet Theatre in Minneapolis has put on a sent the power and energy the community MayDay Festival. It began small in 1975 when will need to survive and change. the Festival was a group of 50 or 60 people, a Following the Parade is the Ceremofew puppets, and many banners. Today, nearly ny in Powderhorn Park. A 200-person 50,000 people attend the event. pageant re-tells the stories of the year’s “The event is a celebration of the work of parade with dancers, puppeteers, a live people to bring a better world and of the coming band, and four giant puppets that repreof spring,” explained Lucinda Anderson, who volsent the Prairie, Sky, River, and Woods, unteers each year to help create the parade. “It and culminates with the awakening of the also serves as a renewal of the community.”

Tree of Life. Immediately following the The event, which takes place this year Ceremony is the Festival, a celebration on May 3, begins with the MayDay Parade. that continues until dusk.

Sections of the parade tell a story, each one There are many opportunities to pardesigned musically and visually as a walkticipate in this year’s MayDay Parade and ing theatrical performance. According to the Festival. There are public workshops held photo courtesy of hotb.org/mayday theatre website, www.hobt.org, this year’s throughout April at the theatre building theme, “Our Common Treasury,” celebrates from 9-11 a.m. and 1-3 p.m. on Saturdays MOTHER OF WATERS: A float passes by during “great merging of the human social justice and from 7-9 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursmovements with the environmental movements the Heart of the Beast MayDay parade. days. Volunteers, guided by the artists, to remember humans as responsible relatives can either make their own creations or of the earth.” The parade addresses the issues help with the larger parade floats. In adof our economic downturn and the sickening of natu- villain or political regime,” said Anderson. “Now the dition, students can sign up at the workshops to ral resources, and urges citizens to help rebuild an thinking has matured, and the intention is to say that be a part of the annual MayDay Ceremony or they economic system that sustains our Earth. the problem and the solution lie in each of us.” can represent a cause by marching in the “Join-In “The theme used to point the finger at a specific The parade features three sections. The fi rst Section” at the end of the Parade.

Lizzy Meller editor-in-chief

5 To play or not to play: sports in college ZEPHYRUSNEWS.COM

Chris Greeno ed/op editor Most of the sports gossip we hear in the halls revolves around the superstars at EHS. We hear “this guy got a full ride there” or “she’ll be starting at the U.” But what about the many athletes who may be struggling to continue their sports in college or won’t be able to play at all?

These include the majority of high school athletes because only a small percentage go on to play in college. According to the NCAA, on average 5.7 percent of high school football players will continue playing while about 3.3 percent of female basketball players will. Furthermore, most of those athletes won’t even be getting a scholarship and will either walk on at a larger Division I or II school or will play for a small D-III college.

Many athletes wish that they could get a scholarship or even continue to play but find themselves battling between a larger school with strong athletics and a smaller one where their talents would rank near the top of the team.

Ali Barger, senior soccer player, has recently been involved in this debate. She is deciding between a variety of schools, ranging in size and character, from St. Olaf to Cornell.

“The main factors that went into choosing these colleges were academic rigor, school spirit, size (small), and a competitive soccer program,” said Barger. She is trying to find a balance of all four of these qualities in a school, even though “none of the schools have everything [she] wants.”

Whatever happens, “I anticipate playing soccer… whether it be at a Division I level or a club level,” affirmed Barger.

Some students, however, have made continuing their sport a requirement in choosing their college,

sports

Zephyrus Volume 29, Issue 8 April 24, 2009

often limiting their choices to smaller D-III schools.

Mike Rallis, a 2008 Edina graduate and freshman Where Barger did not think about the soccer programs at the U of M, decided on this option and ended up at her schools until after she was accepted, many ath- playing football for the Gophers even though he was letes decided to apply only to schools where they could not recruited or given scholarship money. compete and be an important part of the team.

In any case, Edina athletes will rarely choose a Ben Maakestad, senior swimming captain, is one school solely on sports. As Maakestad said, “Academof these and is choosing between University of Wis- ics and the school itself always came first, for me consin-Steven’s Point and St. Johns College. While swimming was second.”

Maakestad considered many factors ranging from location to student-professor relationships, swimming was a “key aspect of his decision.”

“Wherever I go, I want to be able to swim,” Maakestad asJack Rohkohl serted, even if it means news editor being “towards the middle of the team.”

A third option that Getting bored waiting for Sports Center’s top ten plays? Here are the top five plays availdoes exist, however, is able for your entertainment anytime on Youtube.com. the possibility of trying to walk on at a larger school. In this case, a student is not recruithttp://www.youtube.com/wat ed but is still able to ch?v=y4s8vdzYwFU&feature= try out for a D-I team related when the opportunity These are the two amazing plays rolls around. This opduring the unforgettable Boise Statetion gives an athlete Oklahoma 2007 Fiesta Bowl that ala chance to compete, lowed the Broncos to upset the heavily allows them the sumfavored Sooners in double overtime. mer to hone their The plays include a behind-the-back skills, while still giving Statue of Liberty (a behind-the-back the o p t i o n o f a b i g hand-off) and the hook and ladder (a school experience. pass with a lateral), otherwise known as “circus”. photo courtesy of Getty Images

Clubs and sticks don’t come cheap

Our top five plays: From Youtube’s finest

1a. and 1b.

2.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhN0OZA3aIs&feature=related

A full-extension, full-speed, in-traffic, leaping catch by a D-3 Morgan State football player.

Amazing catch, by far the best I have ever seen.

Kelsey Hansen staff writer

From choir to football, EHS scholars enjoy being involved in extra curricular activities. Unfortunately, some sports, such as soccer, hockey and golf are expensive. Just the fees for all high school sports range from $125 to $190.

In addition to high school fees, many students need to purchase equipment.

“You have to pay anywhere from $800-$1,000 for new gear,” said senior hockey player Elizabeth Machmeier. “Sticks and skates are the most expensive things you need to buy to play hockey. Also, I think it’s a good idea to get new gear if you’re going to be playing for a while.”

It’s also a good idea for students to consider our weakening economy when thinking about sports for next year. Edina has proposed to raise all activities and athletics fees by 5% next year because of district budget cuts for the 2009-2010 school year.

A sport may be expensive, but the investment can be a good motivator to stay committed.

“It made me feel that I was wasting time and money if I was late or didn’t show up to practice,” Machmeier said. “It costs a lot to keep Braemar Ice Arena running.”

In addition to hockey, Machmeier likes to play golf too, which can be an expensive sport. However, there are several ways for athletes to cut costs.

“I bought used clubs, and it cost me about $300 versus paying as much as $800 for new ones,” explained Machmeier. “You don’t always have to have the newest and greatest of everything. It’s possible to [get by with] used gear. It works just fine, especially when you play more than one expensive sport.”

Besides participating in high school sports, some athletes choose to improve their skills by playing club sports, which tend to be more expensive.

“I’ve been playing club soccer for 11 years,” commented senior Alex Eastman. “For students our age, it will usually cost around $2,000 a year with tournament costs and other fees.”

Many students are lucky because they don’t have to pitch in to pay for their sport. Eastman’s and Machmeier’s parents, for example, shoulder these high costs.

Participation in sports is highly encouraged at EHS, and while some popular sports can be costly, it’s important to remember that you can buy used gear or borrow an older friends’ equipment. It’s definitely possible to play popular sports on a budget.

3.

http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=ikeCcQg6sf4&feat ure=related

Canadian savior-goalie Carey Price, makes the save of the year by reaching behind his back to swat the puck out of the air before it reaches the back of the net. photo courtesy of everyjoe.com

4.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWLWhU4KuKQ&feature=related

The single most ridiculous basketball shot I’ve ever seen. A behind-the-back desperation shot with some help from the net. One-in-a-million shot!

5.

http://www.youtube. com/watch?v=1ZkRziiLq8 I&feature=related

Brazilian soccer star Roberto Carlos bends the ball in the net from a minute angle (.8203 degrees) with a blistering shot. Mathematicians studying the play have ruled that a left-footed shot from his angle is next to impossible. photo courtesy of football-pictures.net

6

Zephyrus Volume 29, Issue 8 April 24, 2009

in-depth

in-depth

RACE

How does race affect our society?

Affirmative Action uncovered Alison Dirr editor-in-chief Affirmative Action is defined by dictionary.com as “the encouragement of increased representation of women and minority-group members, especially in employment.” But what does this actually mean?

In March of 1961 President John F. Kennedy issued Executive Order 10925 which created the Committee on Equal Employment Opportunity. This order also mandated that federally funded projects “take affirmative action” in ensuring that hiring and employment practices were free of racial bias. JFK created this committee to end discrimination in employment, based on race, religion, sex or ethnicity, and to make equal employment opportunities a reality.

ARGUMENTS: FOR

o Proponents of Affirmative Action believe it is necessary for a number of reasons. One argument asserts that minority applicants may not have had as many opportunities as students from wealthier high schools. Those who use this argument say that Affirmative Action is necessary because it makes up for the opportunities that these individuals did not have earlier in their educations. o Minorities may have started out from a disadvantaged position in their college or job application processes. When an individual comes from a lower income family, he or she will not have had the opportunity to go to a private preparatory school as do many white students. These minority students may have overcome challenges such as high-crime neighborhoods that do not show up in the application process. o Diversity is desirable and necessary for an organization to function. From each new background stems new ideas, concepts and perspectives that help any community to grow and prosper in a changing world. Those who are stuck in the past when whites were the dominant race will eventually be left behind in a world that is constantly moving forward. o Probably the most controversial argument for Affirmative Actions policies asserts the necessity of compensating minorities for centuries of slavery or oppression. Minorities who worked unpaid for decades, if not centuries, lost their lands and were denied the basic rights of our Constitution. Affirmative Action compensates for the terrible deeds of the past.

These policies were not actually enforced until 1965 when President Lyndon B. Johnson proclaimed, “This is the next and more profound stage of the battle for civil rights. We seek not just freedom but opportunity—not just legal equity but human ability—not just equality as a right and a theory, but equality as a fact and as a result.”

Universities also implemented Affirmative Action policies to create schools that are more diverse. Because some minority students are offered admission over some white students who are equally or better qualified, there has been controversy over whether Affirmative Action is accomplishing its goal to give all individuals, regardless of race or gender, equal educational opportunities. Below are the arguments for keeping Affirmative Action in schools and work places and those against the policies.

ARGUMENTS: AGAINST

o Those against Affirmative Action believe that these laws lead to reverse discrimination, resulting in minority students being accepted into colleges over white students who may be more academically qualified. The colleges argue that Affirmative Action is the only way to diversify their schools, but white students assert that these policies actually discriminate against non-minority individuals. o The most academically challenging universities set high standards for GPA and standardized test scores. Some students admitted with a lower standard due to Affirmative Action cannot keep up with the rigor of the schools. o Some minorities argue against Affirmative Action policies because they say that their work is diminished by the lower standards. When both race and credentials influence admission decisions, these individuals’ hard work and efforts may be dismissed when someone says, “you just got in because of Affirmative Action.” o Those against Affirmative Action vehemently argue against the idea that it is necessary to compensate minorities for centuries of slavery and oppression.

These opponents say that what is done is done; there is nothing more that whites owe any minority. This is a topic for heated debate between proponents and opponents of Affirmative Action policies. *Arguments from http://www.balancedpolitics.org/ affirmative_action.htm **Other information from http://www.infoplease. com/spot/affirmativeactiontimeline1.html

Being

Being different usually rocks, but it sucks when it comes to school. Just because I’m Asian (a female Asian), most teachers assume I’m not a troublemaker and that I do well in class. That’s just stereotypical and wrong. Sure, most Asians at Edina seem to have above average grades, but that’s because it’s Edina and most people tend to have good grades regardless. Just because we’re Asian and there’s less of us at Edina, doesn’t mean we’re all the same zombie geniuses.

It really sucks when people have expectations of you. Teachers tend to expect more out of me academically-wise when really, I’m just a very average student. I get by with decent grades because I honestly get really lucky.

If there weren’t all those expectations, then there wouldn’t be all this pressure on us to feel the need to excel and go above and beyond. It’s because of these stereotypes and expectations that force those Asians that do well to keep it up because they’ve been “labeled.” I know I can’t speak for all of us, but it really seems like it’s becoming that way where it’s normal to stereotype Asians as smart. Don’t get me wrong, Asians are smart, but not all of us are geniuses, so y’all should stop assuming we are because then you’ll be disappointed.

-Joy Pham (12) My family members were refugees in Somalia, and sometimes I feel as like I’m a refugee here too. They had survived drought and war, and I’m here trying to survive as someone who is “different.” When I first came here, it was difficult to fit in. I barely knew the language, even after living here most of my life, since I lived in a Somali community mainly. When I came to Edina, it was shocking how different everything was. The culture is completely different, not to mention everyone’s skin color. There are barely any black people in Edina, let alone many Somalis. Fitting in was difficult, especially when you have a language barrier, different incomes, different religions, different cultures, and different colored skin. It took a while for me to start making friends, but after some people reached out to me, I have finally found my place here. I hope that people can learn to do the same and reach out to others that are different.

-Anonymous (11)

Why is there such a gap in test scores?

Schools have more to worry about than the budget.

Since Bush’s No Child Left Behind Act of 2001, public schools have been required to meet Adequate Yearly Progress (AYP) requirements. These were created to ensure that students from each demographic group in schools score adequately on standardized tests in order to graduate. AYP also determines how schools need to improve, and where funds should be sent. Unfortunately, Edina High School has not completely passed these requirements.

The No Child Left Behind Act has been criticized, and there have been movements to modify AYP requirements, but Edina must still face the fact that there is an imbalance among student test scores; while some students excel, others struggle. And although we are well past the age when segregation was legal and students of different races received drastically different educations, there is still a gap between average test scores among ethnicities.

The results of last year’s MCA tests, which test

reading, mathematics, and science, showed that 78% of Caucasian students (who comprise 85% of the student body) at EHS met standard requirements. Of the remaining ethnic groups (comprising 15% of EHS students), 76% of Asians, 56% of Hispanics, and 29% of African-Americans met requirements. Clearly there is a difference among racial and ethnic groups.

The cause for this difference is not certain, but there are some theories. “Public schools have historically been structured around the white culture,” commented Dr. Thel Kocher, director of research and evaluation for Edina. “They have not been very adaptable to recognizing that other cultures do not learn in the same ways and may have different behavioral norms.”

Some students may also encounter language issues, which can affect their test scores. There are currently three different English language learners (ELL) assessments in Minnesota designed to help students who did not learn English as their first language improve in reading, writing, mathematics, and speaking skills.

“At EHS, we try to promote personalized education, identifying individual student needs,” said Katy Kessler, program supervisor for academic support. “Students

7

Women worldwide:

DIFFERENTisn’t easy

Anna Waldo news editor

Zephyrus Volume 29, Issue 8 April 24, 2009

who haven’t yet passed are encouraged to do remedial work outside of the school day.”

These special programs, such as eMath and High School 101, are not race-specific; they are for students of every race who need to improve. There are, however, national programs that are designed to encourage students of certain races to excel in school. The National Hispanic Recognition Program (NHRP) recently commended four Hispanic/Latino students at EHS for academic accomplishment, and many college scholarships are specifically directed towards specific ethnicities.

In spite of test score gaps, Edina students of all races perform better than students from other schools. According to the MCA test averages, 26% more Asians, 22% Hispanics, 14% Caucasians, and 1% African-Americans perform better than the average Minnesota test score for corresponding groups.

Even if EHS can’t pass AYP requirements, there is no doubt it is an excellent school. It has received several honors, such as consistently listing as one of the top 100 schools in the nation by Newsweek. Edina is on the right track, but there’s always room for improvement. (statistics courtesy of http://education.state.mn.us)

sexism across cultures Megan Evans staff writer

Being raised by a single mother has given me a unique perspective on women. Looking back, there is one instance I can still remember clearly. My mom came home livid one day because her coworker Tom had gotten a raise while she retained the same pay. This could indicate that my mom wasn’t working at the same pace, but in reality she was the only one keeping the company afloat. So she confronted her boss, and he justified it by telling her that Tom had a family to raise. Tom was also a single parent, exactly like my mom, but with only one child as opposed to two. The fact that her boss would assume that just because she was a woman she could rely on a man for income shows a blatant sexism that is prevalent across America. This leads us to the question... Does every woman encounter the same sexism, and is there a culture that truly acknowledges women are equal?

INDIA

: A junior’s story showed me something truly unique about India, something I’ve never encountered anywhere else. The student talked about how there are “a lot of significant women politicians… such as Sonia Gandhi” (currently the president of the Indian National Congress, formerly Prime Minister of India). However, women are still hindered by the sexist idea of dowry. A dowry is essentially a price the bride pays the groom to get married. The student commented “I think it’s really wrong because men base their decisions on it.” The student continued, explaining that the differences in amounts of dowry create a sort of hierarchy, based on wealth. The idea that a culture can advance women in the political fields while still hanging on to an age-old tradition that denies women their right to marriage without paying for it boggles my mind.

MEXICO

: A talk with Senior Chris Garza described the expected sphere for a woman in Mexican culture. “We call them ‘old ladies’ or Viejas…they’re expected to cook for us, clean for us… Usually the men are the dominant ones.” This doesn’t sound too different from the standard housewife mold found in America.

ASIA

: Junior Michel Wu, whose parents hail from Taiwan, offered a poignant view of the expected sphere for Asian women. “It’s like where America was during World War One, but the trend is moving towards more liberal [treatment].” He continued, “women are still expected to be mothers, primarily” which sounds eerily similar to most cultures and their women.

AFRICAN-AMERICAN

: EHS graduate Antoinette Reynolds and junior Desi King were interviewed together, and they agreed that African-American women are typically viewed “as pieces of meat… violent and loud.” They commented that, in terms of the workforce, “women are often seen as the assistants (nurses and secretaries) and people probably see black women as less educated.” Reynolds added that “women in general don’t have a political voice…the biggest political voice we have right now is Michelle Obama.” But what a voice to have.

SOMALI

: Often one of the most controversial aspects of the Islamic culture is their treatment of women. One woman who is determined to make a tsunami on the equality front is Ayaan Hirsi Ali, the author of “Infidel”. The book is biography of her life raised in several Islamic countries who finally escaped to Holland where she has gained fame in her fight for female equality across the world. Her life is a blueprint for how many ways a woman can suffer discrimination, and she is using it as ammunition to defeat the pain women are subject to due to their gender.

General consensus indicates that women still have a ways to go in gaining global equality. But we are on the right track. Every woman suffers from a certain amount of discrimination in her lifetime, and it can no longer be ignored. Cultures and races worldwide are finally pulling themselves together in the promotion of female equality.

6

Zephyrus Volume 29, Issue 8 April 24, 2009

in-depth

in-depth

RACE

How does race affect our society?

Affirmative Action uncovered Alison Dirr editor-in-chief Affirmative Action is defined by dictionary.com as “the encouragement of increased representation of women and minority-group members, especially in employment.” But what does this actually mean?

In March of 1961 President John F. Kennedy issued Executive Order 10925 which created the Committee on Equal Employment Opportunity. This order also mandated that federally funded projects “take affirmative action” in ensuring that hiring and employment practices were free of racial bias. JFK created this committee to end discrimination in employment, based on race, religion, sex or ethnicity, and to make equal employment opportunities a reality.

ARGUMENTS: FOR

o Proponents of Affirmative Action believe it is necessary for a number of reasons. One argument asserts that minority applicants may not have had as many opportunities as students from wealthier high schools. Those who use this argument say that Affirmative Action is necessary because it makes up for the opportunities that these individuals did not have earlier in their educations. o Minorities may have started out from a disadvantaged position in their college or job application processes. When an individual comes from a lower income family, he or she will not have had the opportunity to go to a private preparatory school as do many white students. These minority students may have overcome challenges such as high-crime neighborhoods that do not show up in the application process. o Diversity is desirable and necessary for an organization to function. From each new background stems new ideas, concepts and perspectives that help any community to grow and prosper in a changing world. Those who are stuck in the past when whites were the dominant race will eventually be left behind in a world that is constantly moving forward. o Probably the most controversial argument for Affirmative Actions policies asserts the necessity of compensating minorities for centuries of slavery or oppression. Minorities who worked unpaid for decades, if not centuries, lost their lands and were denied the basic rights of our Constitution. Affirmative Action compensates for the terrible deeds of the past.

These policies were not actually enforced until 1965 when President Lyndon B. Johnson proclaimed, “This is the next and more profound stage of the battle for civil rights. We seek not just freedom but opportunity—not just legal equity but human ability—not just equality as a right and a theory, but equality as a fact and as a result.”

Universities also implemented Affirmative Action policies to create schools that are more diverse. Because some minority students are offered admission over some white students who are equally or better qualified, there has been controversy over whether Affirmative Action is accomplishing its goal to give all individuals, regardless of race or gender, equal educational opportunities. Below are the arguments for keeping Affirmative Action in schools and work places and those against the policies.

ARGUMENTS: AGAINST

o Those against Affirmative Action believe that these laws lead to reverse discrimination, resulting in minority students being accepted into colleges over white students who may be more academically qualified. The colleges argue that Affirmative Action is the only way to diversify their schools, but white students assert that these policies actually discriminate against non-minority individuals. o The most academically challenging universities set high standards for GPA and standardized test scores. Some students admitted with a lower standard due to Affirmative Action cannot keep up with the rigor of the schools. o Some minorities argue against Affirmative Action policies because they say that their work is diminished by the lower standards. When both race and credentials influence admission decisions, these individuals’ hard work and efforts may be dismissed when someone says, “you just got in because of Affirmative Action.” o Those against Affirmative Action vehemently argue against the idea that it is necessary to compensate minorities for centuries of slavery and oppression.

These opponents say that what is done is done; there is nothing more that whites owe any minority. This is a topic for heated debate between proponents and opponents of Affirmative Action policies. *Arguments from http://www.balancedpolitics.org/ affirmative_action.htm **Other information from http://www.infoplease. com/spot/affirmativeactiontimeline1.html

Being

Being different usually rocks, but it sucks when it comes to school. Just because I’m Asian (a female Asian), most teachers assume I’m not a troublemaker and that I do well in class. That’s just stereotypical and wrong. Sure, most Asians at Edina seem to have above average grades, but that’s because it’s Edina and most people tend to have good grades regardless. Just because we’re Asian and there’s less of us at Edina, doesn’t mean we’re all the same zombie geniuses.

It really sucks when people have expectations of you. Teachers tend to expect more out of me academically-wise when really, I’m just a very average student. I get by with decent grades because I honestly get really lucky.

If there weren’t all those expectations, then there wouldn’t be all this pressure on us to feel the need to excel and go above and beyond. It’s because of these stereotypes and expectations that force those Asians that do well to keep it up because they’ve been “labeled.” I know I can’t speak for all of us, but it really seems like it’s becoming that way where it’s normal to stereotype Asians as smart. Don’t get me wrong, Asians are smart, but not all of us are geniuses, so y’all should stop assuming we are because then you’ll be disappointed.

-Joy Pham (12) My family members were refugees in Somalia, and sometimes I feel as like I’m a refugee here too. They had survived drought and war, and I’m here trying to survive as someone who is “different.” When I first came here, it was difficult to fit in. I barely knew the language, even after living here most of my life, since I lived in a Somali community mainly. When I came to Edina, it was shocking how different everything was. The culture is completely different, not to mention everyone’s skin color. There are barely any black people in Edina, let alone many Somalis. Fitting in was difficult, especially when you have a language barrier, different incomes, different religions, different cultures, and different colored skin. It took a while for me to start making friends, but after some people reached out to me, I have finally found my place here. I hope that people can learn to do the same and reach out to others that are different.

-Anonymous (11)

Why is there such a gap in test scores?

Schools have more to worry about than the budget.

Since Bush’s No Child Left Behind Act of 2001, public schools have been required to meet Adequate Yearly Progress (AYP) requirements. These were created to ensure that students from each demographic group in schools score adequately on standardized tests in order to graduate. AYP also determines how schools need to improve, and where funds should be sent. Unfortunately, Edina High School has not completely passed these requirements.

The No Child Left Behind Act has been criticized, and there have been movements to modify AYP requirements, but Edina must still face the fact that there is an imbalance among student test scores; while some students excel, others struggle. And although we are well past the age when segregation was legal and students of different races received drastically different educations, there is still a gap between average test scores among ethnicities.

The results of last year’s MCA tests, which test

reading, mathematics, and science, showed that 78% of Caucasian students (who comprise 85% of the student body) at EHS met standard requirements. Of the remaining ethnic groups (comprising 15% of EHS students), 76% of Asians, 56% of Hispanics, and 29% of African-Americans met requirements. Clearly there is a difference among racial and ethnic groups.

The cause for this difference is not certain, but there are some theories. “Public schools have historically been structured around the white culture,” commented Dr. Thel Kocher, director of research and evaluation for Edina. “They have not been very adaptable to recognizing that other cultures do not learn in the same ways and may have different behavioral norms.”

Some students may also encounter language issues, which can affect their test scores. There are currently three different English language learners (ELL) assessments in Minnesota designed to help students who did not learn English as their first language improve in reading, writing, mathematics, and speaking skills.

“At EHS, we try to promote personalized education, identifying individual student needs,” said Katy Kessler, program supervisor for academic support. “Students

7

Women worldwide:

DIFFERENTisn’t easy

Anna Waldo news editor

Zephyrus Volume 29, Issue 8 April 24, 2009

who haven’t yet passed are encouraged to do remedial work outside of the school day.”

These special programs, such as eMath and High School 101, are not race-specific; they are for students of every race who need to improve. There are, however, national programs that are designed to encourage students of certain races to excel in school. The National Hispanic Recognition Program (NHRP) recently commended four Hispanic/Latino students at EHS for academic accomplishment, and many college scholarships are specifically directed towards specific ethnicities.

In spite of test score gaps, Edina students of all races perform better than students from other schools. According to the MCA test averages, 26% more Asians, 22% Hispanics, 14% Caucasians, and 1% African-Americans perform better than the average Minnesota test score for corresponding groups.

Even if EHS can’t pass AYP requirements, there is no doubt it is an excellent school. It has received several honors, such as consistently listing as one of the top 100 schools in the nation by Newsweek. Edina is on the right track, but there’s always room for improvement. (statistics courtesy of http://education.state.mn.us)

sexism across cultures Megan Evans staff writer

Being raised by a single mother has given me a unique perspective on women. Looking back, there is one instance I can still remember clearly. My mom came home livid one day because her coworker Tom had gotten a raise while she retained the same pay. This could indicate that my mom wasn’t working at the same pace, but in reality she was the only one keeping the company afloat. So she confronted her boss, and he justified it by telling her that Tom had a family to raise. Tom was also a single parent, exactly like my mom, but with only one child as opposed to two. The fact that her boss would assume that just because she was a woman she could rely on a man for income shows a blatant sexism that is prevalent across America. This leads us to the question... Does every woman encounter the same sexism, and is there a culture that truly acknowledges women are equal?

INDIA

: A junior’s story showed me something truly unique about India, something I’ve never encountered anywhere else. The student talked about how there are “a lot of significant women politicians… such as Sonia Gandhi” (currently the president of the Indian National Congress, formerly Prime Minister of India). However, women are still hindered by the sexist idea of dowry. A dowry is essentially a price the bride pays the groom to get married. The student commented “I think it’s really wrong because men base their decisions on it.” The student continued, explaining that the differences in amounts of dowry create a sort of hierarchy, based on wealth. The idea that a culture can advance women in the political fields while still hanging on to an age-old tradition that denies women their right to marriage without paying for it boggles my mind.

MEXICO

: A talk with Senior Chris Garza described the expected sphere for a woman in Mexican culture. “We call them ‘old ladies’ or Viejas…they’re expected to cook for us, clean for us… Usually the men are the dominant ones.” This doesn’t sound too different from the standard housewife mold found in America.

ASIA

: Junior Michel Wu, whose parents hail from Taiwan, offered a poignant view of the expected sphere for Asian women. “It’s like where America was during World War One, but the trend is moving towards more liberal [treatment].” He continued, “women are still expected to be mothers, primarily” which sounds eerily similar to most cultures and their women.

AFRICAN-AMERICAN

: EHS graduate Antoinette Reynolds and junior Desi King were interviewed together, and they agreed that African-American women are typically viewed “as pieces of meat… violent and loud.” They commented that, in terms of the workforce, “women are often seen as the assistants (nurses and secretaries) and people probably see black women as less educated.” Reynolds added that “women in general don’t have a political voice…the biggest political voice we have right now is Michelle Obama.” But what a voice to have.

SOMALI

: Often one of the most controversial aspects of the Islamic culture is their treatment of women. One woman who is determined to make a tsunami on the equality front is Ayaan Hirsi Ali, the author of “Infidel”. The book is biography of her life raised in several Islamic countries who finally escaped to Holland where she has gained fame in her fight for female equality across the world. Her life is a blueprint for how many ways a woman can suffer discrimination, and she is using it as ammunition to defeat the pain women are subject to due to their gender.

General consensus indicates that women still have a ways to go in gaining global equality. But we are on the right track. Every woman suffers from a certain amount of discrimination in her lifetime, and it can no longer be ignored. Cultures and races worldwide are finally pulling themselves together in the promotion of female equality.

ed/op 8 EHS students need a break Zephyrus Volume 29, Issue 8 April 24. 2009

Taylor Turner staff writer The sun casts a warm beam upon your body as you inhale the salty ocean breeze that tickles your nose.

You are completely relaxed. Then suddenly you tense up. Fingertips grasp the grains of sand by your beach towel. Amidst your paradise one word pounds your conscience: homework. Sighs erupt in unison around the globe as students and teachers alike wonder why they must work during breaks.

Opinions often differ regarding homework over breaks. Students view vacation as time to wind down and separate themselves from their busy school year.

Some teachers, on the other hand, see breaks as an opportunity to truck ahead with the educational process. Of twenty-one teacher surveys, about thirteen teachers said they don’t assign homework over breaks, which conflicts with what most students say. “I have had big projects and huge reading assignments over spring break,” senior Sarah Zuhlsdorf said. “Once we had to read a whole book over spring break!”

If most teachers aren’t assigning, where does the homework come from?

For those enrolled in Enriched and AP English courses, summer reading rings a bell. Students taking these classes are required to read one or two

“enriching” books paired with note taking and occasionally an essay.

“I understand that it shows the commitment of students and demonstrates the hard work the class requires, but it’s summer!” junior Elizabeth Harris exclaimed. “We will be doing nine months of hard core reading and writing during the school year...I think we deserve a break.”

It’s understandable that opinions differ on work given during vacations, but for “Edina Unplugged”, students and teachers should be on the same page.

After all, its purpose is to give students a day off to spend time with family. “[On] Unplugged [day] nearly every teacher gave me homework or gave us homework that would be due the day after,” sophomore Haley Newberry said, “so it’s like you have to do it anyways.”

Of twenty-one teacher surveys received, nine teachers said they have assigned homework over the weekend or prior to “Unplugged” that is due the day after. What they may not realize is students would prefer the due date be the day of “Unplugged” to truly qualify the “homework-free” status on the one designated non-homework night.

School is in session three quarters of the year.

When you add up homework on vacations, school haunts us all year round. If the teachers assign less, then it’s also less time they have to spend grading.

zephyrusnews.com

Would it really hurt to ease up once in a while? I mean, give me a break-literally.

Parking perils still evident at Edina Corrinn Carlson staff writer We can’t help but laugh at the poor sucker dismally staring at the yellow boot on the tire of his car as we leave school every day, but secretly each of us lets out a sigh of relief that we’re not the one. Frankly, none of us should ever have to be the one if we’re responsible in the parking lot, which most students are. So why does that yellow sign of public humiliation keep finding its way onto our cars? Because, fellow students, our administration does not know how to monitor the number of parking spaces in the school’s lot.

Consider the numbers provided by administrator Eric Nelson. There are approximately 700 parking spots for EHS and Valley View drivers. About 200 of these are located on the east side of Valley View and are for staff use only. Two hundred and sixteen semester permits are sold to EHS students in the south lot, which is also for Valley View staff and visitors. One hundred and ninety semester passes are sold to students for the north lot, which also has parking spaces for EHS visitors and 25 daily parking passes.

Given these numbers, even if all of the approximately 500 semester and daily passes are sold, there still should be 69 spots left for visitors. Somehow I cannot imagine that even with EHS and Valley View combined

ILLEGAL BUT NECESSARY: Edina students are forced to park on dividers and make up their own parking spots when space gets tight.

EHS Parking By the Numbers 700 Parking Spots 406 Student Passes 200 Staff Only Spots 25 Daily Parking Passes

69 Visitor Passes

there are 69 visitors at one given time. So who’s taking the remaining parking spots which are needed by EHS students?

Driving to school is not just a luxury for many students, some need to commute everyday because of after-school activities, PSEO, living in different districts, etc. For example, my friend and I carpool from EHS to Normandale Community College every afternoon for PSEO. We need the student transportation option EHS provides, but in the middle of winter when we’re parked half way up a snow bank for lack of a better parking spot, it almost doesn’t seem worth it.

Many students are upset about booting.

“The school should only be allowed to boot a car if it is parked inappropriately when there are real spots open or if it doesn’t have a permit,” said senior Jackie Fielding.

“It isn’t fair to boot a car for parking at the end of the row if there aren’t any more student spots open. Students don’t have time to talk to an administrator if they need a spot because they’ll be late to class.”

The administration and student council have tried many different solutions to improve the parking lot. If the school is overselling permits, the administrators need to have stricter guidelines for who gets to park. They can’t give permits to students on a first-come, first-serve basis if full carpools are denied passes. If they are not overselling permits, they need to be more conscious of where visitors and staff park.

“It’s a conflict that could be a conflict forever,” said senior Claire Olstad. Students photo by Linnea Bullion hope this will not be a reality forever.

No one likes the yellow boot, so admins, please work out this parking conundrum. Not only will a solution make the students happier, but it will make your life easier as well.

Zephyrus Staff

editors-in-chief: Alison Dirr, Lizzy Meller managing editor: Ben Streeter copy editor: Kenzie Miller photo editor: Caroline Valenta advertisement manager: Matt Norris circulation manager: Christina Kosters news editors: Jack Rohkohl, Anna Waldo features editors: Michael Fetterman, Teddy Hoffman sports editor: DJ Adams in-depth editor: Ben Streeter ed/op editors: Chris Greeno, Kenzie Miller culture editors: Trevor Aufderheide, Maddie Krasno back page editor: Eamon Rood staff writers: Todd Barin, Carolyn Beese, Corrin Carlson, Sean Carney, Megan Evans, Lyndsay Hage, Kelsey Hansen, Matt Hussian, Catherine Kerwin, Christina Kosters, Robbie Latta, Anders Lindquist, John Lucke, Tony Matthes, Ashley O’Neil, Taylor Turner photographers/artists: Eliza Gabriel, Lindsay Hage, Tess Jensen, Olivia Kavanaugh, Grace Kerr, Maddie Krasno, Robbie Lehman, Cindy Pyles, Sharanya Srinivasan webmaster: Matt Norris advisor: Van Anderson

Zephyrus is a monthly publication produced by students of Edina High School; 6754 Valley View Road; Edina, MN 55439; (952) 848-3800 x3087. Zephyrus is an open forum for student expression that recognizes the First Amendment guarantee of freedom of the press, and abides by Tinker standard. Opinions published in Zephyrus do not necessarily reflect the views of the entire staff, advisor, administration, or entire student body. Submissions and letters are printed based on the space available. Anonymous letters may be printed only if a Zephyrus advisor or editor knows the author’s identity. Letters should be mailed to the school or given to the advisor or a staff member. Zephyrus reserves the right to edit any letters for clarity and length.

9 Dear Upton Sinclair, you may have been right ed/op

ZEPHYRUSNEWS.COM

Ashley O’Neill staff writer Salmonella in peanut butter and deadly spiders found wandering the produce isle would seem like a third-world country situation. In fact, these threats have recently been plaguing the United States and Minnesota food industries.

The fact that our food might come from busy factories, crowded shipping yards, unsanitary farms or the guy packing the Whole Foods produce with unwashed hands is unsettling.

So how do we know if the food we are eating is safe? Government organizations, like the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), are in charge of regulating food safety. However, there have been so many food danger outbreaks due to neglect that it is difficult not to wonder how the FDA has let the slip by.

During the recent outbreaks of food-born diseases, the FDA has fortunately been quick to react. But what about being quick to prevent? The “quick” responses to outbreaks are at the cost of approximately 5,000 lives due to food born illness in the United States every year, and more throughout the world. Maybe this does not seem like a big deal now, but when someone you know is affected, the facts will be clear: Not enough is being done to protect civilians from easily prevented diseases.

Nowadays, we not only have to be concerned about

Zephyrus Volume 29, Issue 8 APRIL 24, 2009

where our food comes from, we also have to consider to wash your hands either. what is permitted on store shelves. Artificial sugar But frankly, we don’t have the time to sit around and butter seem like good ways to avoid extra calories, and wait for something to happen. We shouldn’t be but are these synthetic ingredients really healthy? putting our lives on the line every time we decide to Studies have found that artificial foods take a toll if get something to eat. The solution to this problem consumed too often. Pregnant women are even advised could be as simple as workers washing their hands not to consume artificial sugar because of harmful more often, or as complex as restructuring the entire effects and possible fetal mutations.

The increasingly large-scale food industry might also be to blame for widespread outbreaks. Back in the day, produce was produced more locally – if anyone got sick from contaminated food, the source could be isolated and easily contained. However, modern technology allows industries to ship food products throughout the world, making the threat of a wide spread foodbased disease a greater possibility.

In the end, it all comes back to the FDA. We probably wouldn’t be facing these problems today if this agency had done its job. President Obama and other leaders have promised to reform and reevaluate food safety and the FDA. Some photo courtesy of www.thedailygreen.com even believe that the agency has to start new.Whatever happens, someone needs to keep a closer eye on what is being per- EAT WITH CAUTION: Salmonella and other deadly mitted on to store shelves. It cannot be so germs have been found in certain food products. difficult to run a business in a clean and timely manner, especially FDA. We will have taken a serious step backwards if a business owner decides when people walk into grocery stores and find that to get involved in the food they are afraid that the food they buy and eat might industry. It is not very hard kill them.

EHS budget: wiggle room? The May Term guillotine, Matt Hussian staff writer

You have probably noticed new televisions in the commons and in the main lobbies of door 3 and 7 and beautiful green carpets with “EHS” stamped across them in brilliant white. You have also probably noticed the state of the economy. Last time I watched CNN, Anderson Cooper continued on about how awful the economy was. The next night, Brian Williams talked of schools with huge deficits.

You may not have noticed, but Edina Public Schools seems to be in bad shape too. The Edina homepage states, “Edina Public Schools is projecting a $1.75-$2.6 million funding shortfall for the 2009-2010 school year – or between 2.4 and 3.5 percent of the K-12 programming and services budget. To remedy this shortfall, the District will make budget reductions and implement systems that generate new revenues.” Then why we are purchasing brand new TVs and carpets?

In fact, there are reasons. The custodians have requested new carpets because the old ones tracked into way to much water and are a lot less work for them and better for the school.

Another rationale relates to different budget spending categories. One category is the instructional category which accounts for the bulk of the spending, and another is for capital category, which includes maintenance.

“These two categories cannot cross because we would end up spending down capital budgets. It is a very complicated process when working with the spending and the categories,” commented Dr Locklear.

Do new carpets and TV’s override Para professionals and teacher’s jobs?

“We understand that teacher’s jobs are in jeopardy and we are trying to do all we can to help these teachers out and it is unfortunate things like this happen,” said Locklear.

Overall it would be wrong to criticize the administration to this because you cannot cross budget spending categories. The budget process is very complicated and cross budgets could end up worse then started. art by Olivia Kavanaugh

WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?: EHS students were surprised to walk in from South lot and see brand-new fineries.

it seems, is well-greased DJ Adams sports editor In order to provide students with a different and exciting opportunity to learn off campus at the end of their high school tenure, EHS created the May Term project. The student projects must be passed through an application process, and while obviously some will be denied, many seniors feel that the current method is seriously flawed.

The application consists of a five-page packet requiring students to explain their project to a committee of several different Edina High teachers. Due to the variety of the programs that are submitted every year, most of the application is fairly simple and vague so that the questions will satisfy all ideas.

This is where the most prevalent criticism arises. Obviously, this process is quite ambiguous. A simple mistake or lack of essential information can be the difference between pass and fail.

Despite constant student complaints, May Term board advisor Mrs. Hanson believes the vagueness has credibility, “The May Term application is somewhat ambiguous, but a benefit of that [ambiguity] is those who are truly interested in pursuing this opportunity and really want to sell themselves are more apparent.”

With several informational meetings this year to provide students the opportunity to further their understanding of the program, the ambiguity argument against the committee seems to be fading. Perhaps a small amount of uncertainty imbedded in the application is undeserving of disapproval.

However, adults fail to realize the biggest and most simple problem of all: we are still kids.

This process is meant to be a reward for those who excel at being diligent with their

work, and a punishment for students who put it off like any old English paper. The hitch is, most of us are stuck in the latter situation.

Sure, denial is an important lesson to learn in high school. But let me teach you adults about my program titled “dealing with teenage procrastination: 101.”

Many students complain about the ambiguity of the application when really the problem is they were not dedicated enough to make it happen. I understand procrastination is looked down upon, but a denial alone won’t make it disappear.

Help sessions with to-do lists don’t speak to a teen. What does are stats and downright frightening information. Tell us how many applications failed last year, give the best example of a project you can find, or even start yelling. If we aren’t leaving speechless, the motivation for effort won’t exist.

Also, if this really is a learning experience, then better justifications should be provided when projects are denied.

“After the decision it would be great to know exactly what went wrong,” wishes senior Elizabeth Machmeier. “They just weren’t clear, ‘time justification’…Okay, that’s fine, but what could we have done to make it better?”

The committee is composed of teachers, so time commitment is an issue. But if this truly is a legitimate program, I think the projects turned down deserve the same attention as those accepted. Meetings or detailed written reports would not only further our learning experience, but would also certainly decrease the number of furious students who complain for months afterwards about this very process.

Maybe we are just Edina teenagers with some excess fury who are a little too accustomed to success, but if we are to be considered as adults in our applications, then these suggestions should be taken wholeheartedly as well.

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Zephyrus Volume 29, Issue 8 April 24, 2009

culture

ZEPHYRUSNEWS.COM

iPhone’s greatest apps Chris Brown & Rihanna drama Sean Carney staff writer iFart—It calls itself “The #1 Farting App,” an amazingly high accomplishment if ever there was one. It does exactly what it sounds like, namely making farting sounds whenever you press the gigantic button in the middle. It also has numerous other fart features such as the security fart, the “fart-now” and the “sneak attack fart.” Available for $.99.

Topple—Topple is known as the “most addictive stacking game ever,” and it shows. It is a blend of Tetris and Jenga, where players must try to stack a wavering tower of blocks for as long as possible. Blocks continue to rain down from the sky, and players must drag them to the right spot so that their carefully constructed tower doesn’t fall to pieces. The blocks make faces and almost seem to have personalities, making this one of the most fun and colorful games on the Apple Store. Topple 1 is free, and Topple 2 is $2.99.

Anders Lindquist staff writer

On an early morning in February, the musical couple Chris Brown and Rihanna were driving on a Los Angeles street when Rihanna discovered a text message in Brown’s phone from a previous girlfriend. When she questioned him about it, he reportedly put her into a head lock, bit her, attempted to throw her out of the rented Lamborghini, and threatened to kill her.

This abuse was reported to the police by Rihanna, and Brown will likely be charged with assault and making criminal threats. Brown intends to plead not guilty, but he will likely be convicted because of the huge amount of evidence against him, including Rihanna’s injuries and her first hand testimony of the attack.

The hearing is scheduled for April 29.

Chris Brown has issued a formal apology

“”

“If a man hits you once, he will hit you again” ~ Oprah Winfrey

Tap Tap Revenge—Easily the most popular of the music-based games, Tap Tap, similar to the Guitar Hero games, strives to make players feel as though they are playing the music. Players must tap a certain spot with the beat. It has over 150 free songs, and new ones are added every Tuesday.

It also has a multiplayer mode so players can challenge their friend to see who can get the higher score. Tap Tap Revenge is available for free.

Tap Defense—This easily holds the title of the most hardcore game. Tap Defense is based on the wildly popular Tower Defense series of computer games. Players must build towers in order to stop the oncoming rush of monsters. These towers shoot various objects, and have special abilities, requiring players to think about the strategic placement of each tower.

“It’s good for being free,” said sophomore Lars Linquist. “It’s challenging and you can kill time with it, which seems to be what most of these games go after.”

Pandora—An application that could easily qualify as the most bang for your buck. A radio type of application, Pandora creates playlists of songs based on what genres you have told it you like. The music is completely free, although it will require an internet connection, and you will be unable to download the songs. Available for free.

Wikipanion—The best free Wikipedia application out there. This app gives you the entirety of Wikipedia to peruse and browse. While some teachers may disapprove of Wikipedia’s accuracy, it is still good for a summary of a topic, and this app is a great way to access information if you don’t have a computer. Available for free.

Facebook—Pretty simply, this application lets you access your Facebook profile, view photos, and chat with your friends. You can also upload mobile photos on the go, in case you are in a hurry to show off pictures of yourself.

Perfect for anyone with a Facebook account. Available for free.

photo courtesy of www.postmadonna.com

ON TRIAL: Chris Brown is currently on trial for assault and criminal threats against girlfriend Rihanna, who reported his actions.

for what he did, yet many feel that the two stars’ relationship is far from good. Recently Oprah Winfrey had a roundtable discussion with her friend Gayle King, and they focused on Rihanna and Chris Brown’s relationship. “If a man hits you once, he will hit you again,” commented Oprah Winfrey. “Give it some time; get yourself some counseling, and take care of yourself.”

Students at EHS are also showing contempt for Brown’s actions. “I love Chris Brown, but he has lost some respect in my book and deserves to go to prison,” explained senior Caitlin Cunagin.

“There should be repercussions for his actions. It’s sad because it will take a while to build back up his image from before.”

Some fans are outraged and oppose Rihanna’s decision to stay with Brown after the assault.

“This gives a bad message to the younger fans of Chris Brown,” commented Cunagin. ”Rihanna should leave him.”

Fans and critics of the relationship are eagerly awaiting the decision of the court case, wondering how this controversy will hurt the musical stars’ careers, relationship, and how it will impact all fans.

Disney welcomes African American princess Maddie Krasno culture editor Ariel, Aurora, Belle, Cinderella, Jasmine, Mulan, Pocahontas, Snow White, and now meet Tiana. Disney’s newest princess will star in The Princess and the Frog, which is set to be released December 11 of this year. Like Obama, Tiana is preparing to make history—Disney history.

Not only is she the first African American Disney Princess, but The Princess and the Frog takes place in the French Quarter of New Orleans, making it the first D i s n e y m o v i e set in America.

Disney fans have much to look forward to. The Princess and the Frog is Disney’s first hand-drawn 2D animation since Home on the Range in 2004, photo courtesy of www.movies.ndtv.com so expect a similar

representation to The Little Mermaid and Aladdin. Although the cast is not full of celebrities, the audience is sure to recognize the voice of Eudora, Tiana’s mother, who is voiced by Oprah Winfrey.

The plot follows the template of most of Disney’s greatest creations with an underdog whose dreams all come true. Princess Tiana, voiced by Anika Noni Rose, encounters Naveen, a prince who is cast under a spell. The frog-prince convinces Tiana to kiss him, hoping to break the enchantment. However, the kiss fails to change the prince into a human and turns Tiana into a frog. The two then team up to lift the unfortunate spell affecting both of them.

There is great controversy surrounding Disney’s new masterpiece. Originally, the princess was named “Maddy.” However, the name was perceived as a stereotypical “slave” name and was criticized for its similarity to the racially offensive name, “Mammy.”

Other criticism stems from the interracial frog-couple. Disney’s decision to have the prince be white has caused disappointment because there has never been a black prince. Even in Pocahontas, which had a Native American princess, the “prince” is a white sailor named John Smith. Some have interpreted Disney’s choice to mean that black men cannot be princes.

In response to a concerned audience, Disney spokeswoman Heidi Trotta reported to BET that “Princess Tiana will be a heroine in the great tradition of Disney’s rich animated fairy tale legacy, and all other characters and aspects of the story will be treated with the greatest respect and sensitivity.”

Senior Abbey O’Donnell believes that the interracial couple is nothing more than a demonstration of true love. O’Donnell commented, “Love is way deeper than skin color and should have nothing to do with race.”

Senior Doug Justice feels that Disney is giving people a chance to celebrate diveristy. Justice exclaimed, “With an African American princess, now everyone is invited to the Disney Princess party!”

Keep your eyes peeled for up-coming trailers of The Princess and the Frog, and get ready to watch Tiana unite races and make Disney history.

ZEPHYRUSNEWS.COM

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Zephyrus Volume 29, Issue 8 April 24, 2009

Romance novels: stripped before your eyes Lyndsay Hage staff writer Lyndsay’s fingers dance gracefully across the keyboard as she writes her review, eyes glowing with the reflection of the computer screen. Three shabby, secondhand romance novels lie beside her, their covers illustrated with sleepy-eyed, lust-driven women, and chisel-faced men with shiny, oiled six-packs. Which novel to start with she cannot decide, for all are such distinguished pieces of fiction. With a sweet sigh, she begins with— Savage Trust (not Savage Thrust, as I first thought) by Cassie Edwards: The moment I saw the title in the 25 cent section of Goodwill, it was love at first sight. My next thought as I gazed at the Caucasian male, glazed in bronzer and wearing a plastic black wig while straddling a galloping palomino, was that Edwards was calling the Native Americans “savages.”

Last time I checked, calling any ethnic group “savage” is the epitome of racism.

From the blonde-haired bombshell, Yvette, to her exquisitely beautiful captor, Cloud Walker, the reader immediately knows the innards of this novel are going to be nothing but high quality.

My favorite episode in this novel occurs a few hours after Cloud Walker’s very best friend art by Sharanya Srinivasan is killed by a barbed wire fence (WHAT?!) when he immediately brings Yvette to his teepee to reveal his love to her. Talk about romantic!

Mexican Caress by Linda Windsor: This lovely gem of a “historical fiction” was another perfect example of romance novels with racist undertones. In it we are

introduced to the Mexican beauty, Marianna Gallier, and her savior, the majestically handsome Texas Ranger, Tristan McCulloch. After being rescued from her parents’ murderer by the ruggedly statuesque American, Marianna repays him with, of course, a “night of passion.” The next morning, he awakens to find his horse missing and the buxom, beautiful Latina gone. All Tristan can do now is follow the ravishing temptress, help her avenge her parents’ deaths and, you guessed it, fall in love.

Dragon Actually by G.A. Aiken: My favorite of the novels was also the most bizarre. This enchanting romance novel is the definition of literary merit. From the moment the narrator asks whether the reader has “always wanted to have a boyfriend with scales and a tail,” I knew this would be marvelous and life-changing.

First, we are introduced to the heroine, a warrior nicknamed Annwyl the Bloody, who leads the rebellion against her evil brother’s tyrannical-rule. She is rescued by a giant black dragon named Fearghus the Destroyer, known for destroying entire villages, and she soon falls in love with his gentle and friendly disposition. But when the dragon wants to train her for battle she gets a hardbodied, arrogant knight to whom she has extremely lustful feelings for. Throughout the book, Annwyl has trouble juggling her love for the dragon and her fierce desire for the knight, wishing for someone whom she can both love and desire. Funny how both the dragon and the knight have similar hair styles, senses of humor, and voice….

And so Lyndsay shuts down her computer, lights some candles, and enters her bed chambers, with the soothing images of Cloud Walker, Tristan McCulloch, and Fearghus still fresh in her gentle gaze.

Lives getting FMLed... again and again Trevor Aufderheide culture editor Today, I took a quiz that my math teacher gave us. He claimed it was “impossible” for anyone to get a perfect score on it. I honestly didn’t know any of the answers and guessed on the entire thing.

Apparently I got them all right. He accused me of cheating and gave me a double zero. FML. Whether or not this is something that actually happened to me is something for you to decide. However, stories like this and many others are popping up at a rapid rate on the website FMyLife.com, an open forum where anyone can post anecdotes of unfortunate occurrences from his or her everyday life.

Each anecdote ends the same, with the quintessential “FML” (F*** My Life) capping off a story of humiliation that brings a chuckle to all. These accounts are divided into seven categories – work, sex, money, love, kids, health, and miscellaneous – and dozens of them are posted daily.

The downfall of others often provides amusement for the site’s viewers. Sophomore Hannah Wickberg said, “Sometimes it’s just nice to be able to laugh at other people’s mistakes so I can forget about my own.”

These obtrusive self-indulgences have found themselves even visual courtesy of cogmap.com more accessible lately. FMyLife.com now has a downloadable application for the iTouch and the iPhone, providing an effective FML: This graph displays the skyrocketing number of online viewers trying distraction from life’s dull duties. make their sorry lives seem perfect (or at least better) on FMyLife.com.

“It’s good to read when you don’t want to do homework,” said junior Jen Rolfes, “or when you want to feel better about your uploaded daily, its position as a daily online destination is growing. Some own life.” think that FMyLife and its form of admitted failure comes out on top.

FMyLife.com isn’t the first guilty pleasure to roam the web, though. Sites “I’d say that it is one of the most entertaining current websites to browse like FailBlog, Today’s Big Thing, and the ever-popular YouTube have also out there,” commented junior Daniel Larson. “Let’s face it, people like to read documented people’s mishaps. While these have been part of the trend of about other people’s epic fails.” posting videos of other’s embarrassment, FMyLife diverges by including selfToday, I went on FMyLife.com and realized that half of the stories were posted written accounts of personal calamities. With new FML stories being things that have happened to me. FML.

to

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back page Awkward Moments Zephyrus Volume 29, Issue 8 April 24, 2009

ZEPHYRUSNEWS.COM

Could one happen to you?

Todd Barrin staff writer Have you ever been on your way to class and noticed a person you know but didn’t know them well enough to say, “Hey, what’s up?” and just walked by without saying a word? Well, I am here to tell you what not to do in such an awkward situation.

When you experience an awkward moment, the last thing you want to do is make the situation even more awkward.

For instance, what you absolutely do not want to do in the former situation is say, “Hey bro, how’s your girl? She is in three of my classes, and boy, I tell

yah, if she were not your girlfriend, I would totally ask her out.” Obviously, checking out his girl is not going to ease the situation.

A different kind of uncomfortable circumstance is the awkward silence that sometimes occurs during a conversation. A classic example is when girls talk about guys who they think are hot.

The girls are talking and then one girl says, “Oh my gosh, that new kid, I think his name is Henry, he is so ugly. Like, I would rather look at Rosie O’Donnell than that guy.” A girl in the group hears this rude remark, and with disgust on her face replies, “Ummm, ex-

cuse me, that’s my brother you’re talking about.” A good five seconds of utter silence follows this exchange. Probably the worst thing you can say is, “Oh no he’s not. He is way too ugly to be your brother.” Do not try to justify what you said. A better response would just be to apologize profusely, and hope the girl forgives you.

Consider another awkward situation: you are at the lunch table sitting with your friends. You are telling a hilarious story, and just when you’re getting to the climax, it happens: You spit out a piece of food that everyone sees, and it lands right on the table.

This situation is bad for two reasons:

First, you are talking with food in your mouth, and second, your half eatenlunch lands on the table for everyone to see. Do not pick up the food and eat it again or pretend like nothing happened.

Trust me, the people sitting next to you definitely saw the missile launch from your mouth.

Just play it cool and say something like, “Ah, my bad guys!” to let them know you’re not completely embarrassed, but you know it happened.

The next time you land in an awkward situation, don’t do anything to embarrass yourself, like blaming it on a friend-that’s just a mean move.

Close encounters of the staff kind Teddy Hoffman features editor At one point or another, it has happened to you or someone you know: You walk into a bathroom and discover not a “misplaced” piece of feces upon the floor, nor a problematic posse of potheads haunting the stalls. No, you discover a teacher using the facilities. Perhaps you make small talk, or maybe you attempt to ignore the incident and go about your bathroom business blankly, hoping with quiet d e s p e r a t i o n that your educator will not notice.

“It’s extremely awkward,” stated junior Ken Henry as he recounted such a run in. “[A teacher

and I] were using adjacent urinals. It was a big bathroom, and I didn’t even know him personally, but it was still awkward. I don’t know…and we happened to be done at the same time, and so we both walked to the sink at the same time. It was weird.”

Regardless of your reaction, the experience is unnerving. But why? Because we can’t accept that EHS staff are capable of human functions? Because the meeting shatters the image of dignity that teachers set about themselves?

Reasons aside, we can all admit the experience is uncomfortable. But what is one to do in s u c h a s i t u a t i o n ? H o w c a n w e o v e r c o m e t h i s distressing circumstance?

Junior Kian Hashemi-Rad

advised, “Stall. If you have to, go to the paper towel dispenser and blow your nose (whether you have to or not). Or, [if you don’t have to go] walk out the auto-door before it closes so they will never know if anyone actually came in.

And, if necessary, you can always just run away.”

Perhaps Hashemi-Rad’s advice is overkill. My suggestion is to just suck it up and “go” anyway.

If you need to “go,” it is just plain silly (and unhealthy) to hold it.

No one says you have to be a conversationalist, and you are not obliged to make small talk. It’s the bathroom, for goodness sake, not the classroom! So next time you find yourself sharing a wall or a stall with a teacher, just go with the flow (pardon the pun).

It’s the awkward things that make life tasty Caroline Valenta photo editor

Awkward moments… we all know what they are and have experienced them plenty of times. You prob-

ably have already had an awkward moment today, or will experience one just around the corner as you crash into someone while reading this article! Whatever they may be, wherever they may occur, Zephyrus has compiled a list of classic “awkward moments,” so

you can relive just how awkward you felt when one was happening.

-Running into an ex boyfriend/girlfriend in the hallway when you are the only two in the hallway.

Enough said.

-Being alone in the hallway with that girl or guy who hooked up with your former girlfriend/boyfriend. You both hate each other. This person was the sole reason for your breakup, so you pass each other in fuming silence.

-As you’re about to run into someone head-on, you step aside to avoid a complete collision just as the other person does the exact thing. You step aside, the other person mimics the same movement. You are left doing an awkward stepping-dance in the hallway.

-Walking toward a teacher in the hallway whose class you recently dropped without telling them. You try to smile and act as if you hadn’t dropped the class while crossing your fingers to avoid being noticed.

-Tripping up the stairs.

-Tripping down the stairs.

-Tripping with anyone near you in the hallway. They ask “are you okay?” and try to avoid laughing. However, you know as soon as you walk away, they will start laughing again.