The Solution News Since 1991
May/June 2010
Recovery
Happy, Joyous and Always Free!!
Growth
Renewal
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The Solution News Contents Page 4 - Dave’s Page: Maintaining Recovery
Page 24 - Kids In Church
Page 5 - Maintenance Step 10
Page 25 - No Rules In AA, But....
Page 6 - Maintenance Step 11
Page 26 - Dr. Bob’s Third Step
Page 7 - Maintenance Step 12
Page 27 - Be-Ism or Theism?
Page 8 - Hotlines and Helplines
Page 28 - Eight Gifts
Page 9 - Watershed Page
Pages 30 - AA History: Gabe Heatter
Page 10 & 11 - Events
Page 31 - Out of Rehab. Now What?
Page 12 - Step 10 Quotes
Page 32 - The Wit of Jerry Seinfeld
Page 14 - Step 11 Quotes
Page 33 - The Wisdom of Confucius
Page 15 - Step 12 Quotes
Page 34 - Chef Lester’s Sober Sideboard
Page 16 - Eight Laws
Page 36 - Daffynissions
Page 18 - We Should All Be Coffee...
Page 37 - Rule 62 Page
Page 23 - Samaritans 0r Bystanders?
Page 38 - Parting Shots
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Dave’s Page
There are many roads to recovery but by far the one most practiced is the 12 step approach. The Twelve Steps were written by Bill Wilson and became the basis of the book Alcoholics Anonymous which has become known as “The Big Book”. The twelve steps outline a program of action which takes its practitioners through the process of change felt necessary to maintain continuous sobriety. Over the years the 12 steps have been used as the basis for over one hundred programs of recovery from a variety of addictions and behavioral problems. The first nine steps concern the admission of the problem, the belief that a higher power can alleviate the problem, taking inventory of ourselves, sharing the inventory, looking at our personal character defects, turning the defects over to a higher power for removal, and the making of amends to persons we have harmed. This is the hard work necessary to bring us to the point where the promises of the program can and will be realized. The Promises can only be realized on a daily basis through the constant vigilance and effort required in Steps 10, 11, and 12. These steps have come to be called The
Maintaining Our Recovery Maintenance Steps and are the key to continuous recovery and the peace of mind that we all desire. One of Webster’s definitions for the word maintain is “provide with the necessities for life or existence” and its hard to believe that our founders weren’t aware of this when they defined these steps as Maintenance Steps. My sponsor taught me in the early days of my recovery to keep a dictionary next to the Big Book so I could look up words as I went along. I think Bill must have made great use of the dictionary when he wrote. Using this definition it is easy to draw the parallel between the twelve steps providing the necessities for life and existence for those in recovery. This is especially true of these three steps for without them we are unable to hold on to the progress we have made in the earlier steps and our very life becomes threatened. The last three steps of the twelve step program are applicable to all those wanting to hold on to the progress and promises received from the first nine steps as well as anyone who wants to enhance the quality of their life. So what are these maintenance steps? Step Ten suggests that we “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.” As with all of the steps there are spiritual principles attached to each step. The spiritual principles associated with this step are Acceptance, Patience, Perseverance and Vigilance. The step reminds us that selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear are still daily problems that can be dealt with effectively by taking a daily inventory. By promptly admitting our mistakes and harmful thoughts and actions we do not let them fester and carry over and accumulate. The step is like a pressure relief valve keeping us right sized.
Step Eleven says that “We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” The spiritual principles behind this step include Knowledge, Attunement and Awareness. The step becomes an anchor for our continued recovery by assuring our reliance on and deepening our relationship with a higher power. As this relationship grows we become more and more aware of our Higher Power’s will for us. We become more aware of the fact that we do the steps not so much for us as to be of maximum service to our Higher Power. Step Twelve tells us “having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. The spiritual principles behind this step are Service and Gratitude. Having brought about a personality change sufficient to remain in recovery we are empowered to demonstrate the new principles by which we live, in our daily life through example. We seek out and are available to help others in need. We often hear it said that we cannot keep our recovery unless we give it away. By the daily practice of these very important maintenance steps we manage through constant vigilance to keep ourselves in right spiritual condition. When we are in right spiritual condition we can give back what has been so freely given to us. By doing this we are able to maintain our recovery. The maintenance steps truly provide us with the necessities for a rewarding and meaningful life as well our very existence. We hope you enjoy our Maintenance Steps Issue and that you all have a happy and joyous Spring. -------- Dave F.
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Our Maintenence Steps Step Ten: Building the Spiritual Basis for Recovery Each Day The Twelve Step program of recovery from alcoholism and other addictions rests on a notion of spirituality that is not about having the "right" beliefs. Instead, it is about adopting daily practices that help people stay clean and sober. These daily practices are the subject of Step Ten of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous: "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." Here the word "inventory" means taking stock of our emotional disturbances, especially those that can return us to drinking or other drug use. Step Ten suggests that we watch for these disturbances every day and make an immediate response. Taking a daily inventory is important to all people, but especially to those in recovery. "After several years of recovery and doing vigorous work in completing Steps One to Nine, I felt I had arrived, that my work was done," says one long-time practitioner of the Twelve Steps. "I stopped talking regularly to a sponsor. I stopped going to as many meetings. I started going it alone in the fellowship. I was shocked when, after three years of recovery, I used one day. That led to two decades of repeated relapses." This woman's desperation led her to reread "Alcoholics Anonymous" (often called the "Big Book" of AA). While studying the suggestions for Step Ten, she recalls, "I realized something that I had been missing: daily work." The Big Book's suggestion for daily work on this Step is to "watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up,
we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help" Some people are put off by the word "God" in the above passage. Remember that AA and other Twelve Step groups do not require mem-
Step TEN bers to accept any particular definition of this word. In fact, the term "Higher Power" is often used instead, referring to any source of help that comes from outside ourselves. Your Higher Power might be a friend, a family member, a therapist, or the members of your Twelve Step group. What's most important is being willing to release selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear in the very moment that they occur. And this calls for a radical change in how we deal with negative emotions.
A typical response is to blame our feelings on other people. Alcoholics and other addicts are especially skilled at nursing resentments and finding fault. Their logic is essentially this: "I am always right, and my problems will end when everyone else changes their behavior." Contrast that with the attitude suggested by Step Ten. "It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us," notes the author of "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions," another core text for people in recovery. "If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also." We give other people control over our lives when we say that they "make us" angry or afraid. The truth is that we usually say or do something that helps to create the conflicts in our lives. Step Ten suggests that we take responsibility for this fact, clean up our role in these matters, and practice forgiveness. "You might find things coming up on your inventory that you have an emotional hangover about--when an anger starts turning into resentment, or fear becomes my life," says Mark Sheets, executive director at Hazelden in charge of a wide range of continuing care programs. "That's when you need to talk it through with someone who understands." "My problem was not just learning how to put down my drug of choice," says the woman in Twelve Step recovery. "My problem was dealing with life. Here in Step Ten I have a plan to cope with life, a plan of daily action that will work each day that I work it." ( From Alive & Free @ Hazelden.org)
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6 Understanding a loved one's Twelve Step recovery program
Our Maintenence Steps
Cultivating Conscious Contact With A Higher Power In 1938, an alcoholic stockbroker named Bill W. declared his intention to write a book about an obscure new program of recovery from alcoholism. The program, which included twelve suggested steps, was unabashedly spiritual. Bill's goal was to present this aspect of the program in terms so simple and so practical that one alcoholic could easily explain it to another. Today there are more than 25 million copies of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA World Services, Inc.) in print. And Bill managed to distill the essence of spiritual practice into the 32 words of Step Eleven: "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." Before practicing the Twelve Steps, Bill had been a skeptic about spiritual matters. This personal history of doubt qualified him to answer atheists, agnostics, and other AA newcomers who rebelled at any suggestion of prayer or meditation, let alone belief in God.
consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, Fred Holmquist, director of the Lodge Program we ask God to direct our thinking, especially at Hazelden, emphasizes the timing of morning asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishon- meditation and prayer. est or self-seeking motives." "The directions for what to do on awakening are Of course, people in recovery often face uncer- truly about what to do on awakening," says tainty. Even when we're open to good orderly Holmquist. "These are not things to be done on direction, we can still be unclear about moment- going to the bathroom, on making coffee, or on to-moment choices in daily life. feeding the cat. Rather, it's on awakening that I do a litmus test of my spiritual condition by thinking about the 24 hours ahead. If I'm already full of self-pity, dishonesty, or self-seeking motives, then this is a practice that literally gets me out of bed on the right foot."
Step ELEVEN
Bill's response to objections was pragmatic: Just try it. You'll discover that Step Eleven works, and that "almost the only scoffers at prayer are In response, the Big Book suggests that we those who have never tried it enough." "relax and take it easy." Instead of struggling, we can wait patiently for an answer to come. Specific instructions for receiving spiritual Over time, we'll find that "what used to be the direction through prayer and meditation are hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually included on pages 85-88 of Alcoholics becomes a working part of the mind." Anonymous, also known as the Big Book. These are organized under three basic headings: what The Big Book further suggests that we end our to do in the morning, throughout the day, and at morning meditation with a prayer to receive night. guidance throughout the day for the next action to take. And the sum total of our needs in this "On awakening let us think about the twenty- area can be summarized in one phrase: Thy will, four hours ahead," notes the Big Book. "We not mine, be done.
After grounding our day in morning practice, we can stay open to guidance throughout the day at work or home. When we're feeling emotionally unbalanced or confused, we can simply stop for a moment and ask our Higher Power for an appropriate thought or action. The Big Book also includes a list of questions to ask at night as we review and end each day. For example: Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves that should be discussed with another person at once? "In the earlier Steps, I clean up the wreckage of the past," Holmquist says. "In Step Eleven, I clean up the wreckage of today--how my imperfections as a human complicate my life. This Step defines what it means to completely give ourselves to this simple program." (From Alive & Free @ Hazelden.org)
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Our Maintenence Steps
Spiritual Awakening, Carrying the Message, Daily Practice Step Twelve of Alcoholics Anonymous consists of just 28 words: "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." Learning to do all this is not easy. To get started, divide the Step into three parts.
The second part of Step Twelve is about carry- people are ready to carry the message before ing the message of recovery to other people. they've done Steps Two through Eleven. This needs to be done carefully. Some key points to remember are these: This leads naturally to the third part of Step Twelve--practicing the principles "in all our * Talk to people when they are ready. The affairs." For example, the first three Steps are Twelve Steps are a program of attraction, not about honesty. They remind us to tell the truth promotion. We draw people into the Steps by when our efforts to solve any problem have First comes the concept of "spiritual awaken- our own example. When the right time comes, failed. In turn, being honest allows us to ask for ing." This has many meanings. For Bill W., the help. cofounder of AA, it was a sudden, dramatic and life-changing event. In his autobiography, Bill In Step Four, we go deeper, practicing the prinrecalled that he was bathed in light and seized ciple of self-observation. This means taking a by an ecstasy beyond words: "moral inventory" that shines a light on our strengths and shortcomings. "I stood upon a summit where a great wind blew. A wind not of air, but of spirit. In great, In Step Five, we take what we've learned about clean strength it blew right through me. Then ourselves and share it with others. came the blazing thought, "You are a free man.'" Steps Six through Ten remind us to practice the After that moment, Bill never took another principles of willingness and humility as we drink. Yet in the book "Alcoholics Anonymous," admit our mistakes and make amends. he explains that this kind of experience is not required for recovery. Instead, most spiritual Step Eleven focuses on the principle of change. awakening happens over time in a subtle and Nothing is static. We either grow in recovery or gradual way. "coast" and become complacent. Prayer and meditation offer a source of guidance for acting "I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I've they'll ask: "How can I get what you've got?" wisely in any situation. had a white-light spiritual awakening moment," says Kimberly M., a recovering alcoholic. "For * Keep it simple. Our message for the person For Michael Demask, dean of the Graduate me, a spiritual awakening is a whole different who's dependent on drugs is simply this: "I once School of Addiction Studies at Hazelden who ball of wax--a moment of clarity when I can say was like you. Then I had a spiritual awakening shares his Twelve Step knowledge with students as the result of the first eleven Steps. I have not ahhh . . . now I understand." and patients, Step Twelve boils down to the gotten drunk or stoned since then." principle of brotherly love: "When I was Those "aha" moments are regular events for * Let go of labels. When talking to people, we brought through the Twelve Steps, the act of carKimberly, who acts as a sponsor for several don't refer to them as alcoholics or addicts. We rying the message was conceptualized as loving women in recovery. Kimberly's sponsees call merely tell our story and let other people decide people unconditionally enough to share my her daily, and each week she meets with them in if it rings true for them. experience, strength and hope. Carrying the person. "We talk, and I can see the physical pain message to others gives me an opportunity to that they release when they're unburdening the * A v o i d " t w o - s t e p p i n g . " T h i s stay clean for one more day." feelings that they've kept buried down inside of takes place when people fly directly from Step (From Alive & Free @ Hazelden.org) One to Step Twelve. Flush with euphoria, these them," Kimberly says.
Step TWELVE
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Hotlines and Helplines AA BROWARD COUNTY AA FLORIDA KEYS AA HOTLINE, North Palm Beach
954-462-0265 305-296-8654 561-655-5700
AA HOTLINE, South Palm Beach AA HOTLINE Broward
561-276-4581 954-462-0265
DEPRESSION AND MANIC DEPRESSION DEPRESSION - OVER 55 FAMILY CAREGIVER PROGRAM FLA. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE
954-746-2055 954-746-2055 305-292-8445 800-500-1119
FLORIDA BAR LAWYER’S REFERRAL
800-342-8011
954-462-7202
FLORIDA HIV/AIDS HOTLINE
800-FLA-AIDS
AA MIAMI DADE
305-371-7784
ABUSE REGISTRY
800-962-2873
ADD PARENTS SUPPORT
954-473-8644
AL ANON HOTLINE, Palm Beach
561-278-3481
AL ANON HOTLINE, Broward AL-ANON/AL-ATEEN
954-491-1915 8884ALANON
FLORIDA INJURY HELPLINE FLORIDA INTERGROUP AA FOOD ADDICTS IN RECOVERY FLORIDA PET GREIF SUPPORT GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS HEPATITIS-B HOTLINE
ALIEN ABDUCTION SUPPORT GROUP
954-698-6926
ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION
954-726-0002
ALZHEIMER’S COMMUNITY CARE AT RISK YOUTH PROGRAM BIG BROTHERS & SISTERS CAPITOL CITY YOUTH SERVICES
561-278-6649 727-726-8829 561-966-4120 850-576-6000
CATHOLIC DIOCESE OF ORLANDO
407-658-1818
CDC NATIONAL AIDS HOTLINE
800-342-2437
CHILD ABUSE HOTLINE
800-4ACHILD
COCAINE ANONYMOUS CODEPENDENTS ABNONYMOUS CONSUMER HOTLINE COSA (co-dependents of sex addicts) COUNCIL ON COMPULSIVE GAMBLING
954-779-7272 800-254-1333 800-848-3792 763-537-6904 800-426-7711
CRIMESTOPPERS CRIME LINE
800-458-TIPS 800-423TIPS
DASH (Divorced and Separated Help)
561-451-2312
DEBTOR’S ANONYMOUS DEPRESSION & BIPOLAR SUPPORT
954.925.4068 813-878-2906
800-510-5553 407-276-4581 1-866-325-0500 352-392-4700 800-891-1740 800-891-0707
HEPATITIS HOTLINE HIV/AIDS HOTLINE HOSPICE HOSPICE/HOMECARE BY THE SEA JEWISH FAMILY& CHILD SERV LAWYER ASSISTANCE RECOVERY, INC LUPUS FOUNDATION OF S. FLORIDA MARIJUANA ANON. MIAMI HELPLINES
800-545-2437 800-352-2437 954-467-7423 800-3923189 561-684-8443 800-282-8981 561-642-1722 561-279-8606 800-766-6779 305-358-4357
MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS FOUNDATION
800-441-7055
NTNL. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE NAR-ANON, Broward
Nare-Anon Florida Region
800-799-SAFE 954-584-6578 888-947-8885
NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Palm Beach NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS, Broward
561-848-6262 954-476-9297
NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS gold coast
954-476-9297
NAT. CTR. ELDERLY ABUSE
800-96-ABUSE
NATIONAL RUNAWAYSWITCHBOARD
800-RUNAWAY
NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE
800-SUICIDE
The Solution News 640 Beacon Street, Manchester, NH, 03104
Phone:
603-657-5580 WEBSITE: solutionnews.org Email: solutionpublishingcompany@gmail.com
The Solution is not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous or any other 12 Step Program although our content is directed towards those who have found the 12 Step philosophy to be a significant factor in their lives. The Solution News published by Sobersolution six times a year for people actively working on their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being. We are committed through articles and advertising to provide a broad spectrum of recovery, renewal and growth information. The opinions are those of the contributors. We seek to attract advertisers who represent their products and services with integrity but we urge readers to be wise consumers.
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RNS & LPNS For Admissions Department We are looking for Florida licensed LPNS and RNS who are friendly & compassionate and able to work with alcoholics and addicts. The hours are a mix of evenings and nights with weekend work involved. We are also looking for an RN to supervise the clinical aspects of the department and work as an integral part of an allied health professional’s team.
Therapists
Behavioral Health Techs
Are you looking for a place where the concept of "team" has deeper meaning? We are looking for caring, insightful therapists who are committed to the highest quality care for our patients and who have the desire to support those who are struggling with addiction. Our facilities offer our patients comfortable and safe surroundings to begin their journey of recovery. The Watershed is Joint Commission accredited and fully licensed by the State of Florida. Our therapists provide individual and group counseling to patients in our inpatient treatment program. The therapist is able to develop a relationship with the patient that begins in detox and lasts throughout the entire length of stay. The therapist functions within the limits of their licensure, registration and/or certification. Graduation from an accredited college or university with a Masters Degree in a health-related discipline; licensed and/or accredited applicants preferred. Experience with chemical dependency and/or dual diagnosis programs preferred. The Watershed welcomes recovering individuals to apply! Recovering individuals must have a minimum of 1 full year of abstinence from drugs/alcohol to eligible for employment.
Are you a caring, compassionate individual? Are you able to provide supervision and support for others in a thoughtful, respectful manner? If you have these qualities we encourage you to apply for a position as a Behavioral Health Technician, (BHT). Our BHT's are directly involved in providing quality care for patients as part of the overall team and are responsible for conducting meetings and providing structure for our patients during their treatment experience. As a BHT you are the frontline staff member, having frequent interactions with the patients throughout their stay. As a result you are in a position to have a positive impact on the patient's view toward recovery. The average day for a BHT involves a variety of activities; there isn't a lot of time spent in one place since our patient's care is conducted in different areas of the facility. The BHT should have a clear sense of personal boundaries and be able to enforce clearly established guidelines. People with their own personal recovery experience are encouraged to apply! Must have a minimum of 12 months of sobriety.
Alumni Coordinators
We are currently seeking hard working, customer service oriented individuals with excellent communication skills to become members of our team. The Call-Back Representatives will work collaboratively with the Admissions Coordinators in order to admit new patients into our treatment facilities. This position involves making follow-up calls to individuals who have previously called The Watershed seeking treatment but were never admitted into our facility. Our goal is to reach out to those who may have avoided treatment in the past and assist them with their struggles of addiction, by offering our treatment services. This position is full-time with some weekends involved & located in our Delray Beach, corporate building.A year or more of 12step recovery experience is very beneficial to anyone working in this position. Prior call-center and/or healthcare experience are a plus!
The Watershed’s newest department is that of the Alumni coordinators! Coordinators main focus is in making contact with ALL of Watershed’s alumni dating back to it’s doors opening in 1998! Through this effort any alumni who may have encountered relapse and needs help can be given a means to get back into their recovery and those who are maintaining recovery can be orientated to our current program which offers a variety of services, activities and opportunities to our alumni & their families.Work hours currently are: Mon.-Fri. 10am to 6pm at our office in Delray Beach. Six months or more of active 12-step recovery is needed and being an alumnus of The Watershed is preferred. Having basic computer & phone skills is a plus.
Call-Back Representatives
The Watershed is a Drug Free Workplace and an Equal Opportunity Employer. For more information, please visit: www.thewatershed.com. To apply, please go to www.thewatershed.jobs.
Watershed Alumni - you don’t want to miss this!!!! Are you a graduate of The Watershed Treatment Programs? Do you have an interest in personal growth in your recovery? Would you like to be able to help others, even as you were helped? If the answer to any or all of these questions is "YES", then we want to hear from you! The Watershed has a unique one of a kind ALUMNI PROGRAM that is quite literally filled with events, activities & services for you!! It is a place to find support, fellowship and numerous ways for you to be able to reach out and help others. We currently have over 3,100 registered alumni members around the country and we want YOU to be a part of this community! We also have an Alumni Family Outreach Program for YOUR family members to offer them the same connection and support with each other, that now numbers just under 2,400!!! As promised….the NEW WATERSHED ALUMNI WEB SITE has begun!!! It includes a NEW FAMILY WEB SITE as well! To register either for the Alumni or Family site, just go to www.livesinrecovery.com today! You will find a place to register under "ALUMNI" and a place to register under "FAMILY". For each site, there are security measures and a verification process in place to insure that "only alumni" are on the Alumni site and "only families" are on the family site. This is a SOCIAL web site, where you will be able to chat, create groups and meetings, upload videos, create photo albums, find local meetings, be up to date on events, access the new Alumni Magazine, the monthly Alumni Newsletter and Life Saver's Club Newsletter, and SO MUCH MORE! Those of you already registered, do you remember receiving LOTS of emails from us?? Well, NO MORE! There will now be an email sent out ONCE A MONTH to let you know of all that is happening for the next 30 days and what to look for on the site. EVERYTHING will now be located on the web site. We hope that you will get involved with alumni if you aren't already. We have the Alumni Speaker Meetings EVERY SATURDAY from 9:30am to 11:30am at BOTH the BOCA and BOYNTON facilities. You MUST have 90 days clean and sober to attend. If you are a new alumnus with less than 90 days in recovery, we have special support meetings just for you! The ALUMNI SUPPORT meeting at THE WATERSHED APARTMENTS in Lake Worth, FL on THURSDAY nights, from 5:30 to 6:45pm under the tent by the pool. ALL ALUMNI with less than 90 days should attend so that you can gain important information related to your early recovery AND so that you can receive a 90 day medallion. For directions or further information or questions, contact Rebecca Balko at the contact information listed below. Last but not least…if you are an alumnus and have in interest in working in the field of addiction recovery and/or in our Alumni Department, The Watershed wants to hear from you! If you are interested in seeking employment you can either contact Rebecca Balko or go directly to our web site at www.thewatershed.com and go to Human Resources to place an "on line" application. *You need to have 1yr. clean and sober for most positions* We look forward to hearing from you! You can contact Rebecca Balko at: Rbalko@thewatershed.com (or write) 200 Congress Park Dr. Suite 101 Delray Beach, FL 33445 (PHONE: 877-416-9566 ext.88204)
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Events 2010 INTERNATIONAL CONVENTION OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS The 2010 International Convention of Alcoholics Anonymous will be held July 1-4 in San Antonio, Texas with the theme “A Vision for You.” A.A. members and guests from around the world will celebrate A.A.’s 75th year at this event with big meetings held Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday morning in the Alamodome. Other meetings, scheduled or informal, will take place throughout the weekend in the San Antonio Convention Center and local hotels. Registration opens in the Henry B. Gonzalez Convention Center on Wednesday June 30, 2010 at 8:00 a.m. Registration will continue Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m., and Saturday from 8:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. The opening Party in the Park starts at approximately 8:00 p.m. Thursday evening, July 1 and ends at midnight. Marathon meetings will begin at midnight on Thursday, and run around the clock until Sunday morning. Meetings start at the Convention Center on Friday at 9:00 a.m. and continue until 5:00 p.m., with the same schedule on Saturday. Friday night and Saturday night from 8:00 to 10:00 p.m., we gather in the Alamodome stadium for Big Meetings. The Flag Ceremony will take place before the meeting on Friday night, and Saturday we will have an oldtimers meeting, where A.A.s with more than 40 years of sobriety will share. The closing meeting will take place in the Alamodome on Sunday from 9:00 – 11:00 a.m.
For Information Go To: www.aa.org
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Events ATTENTION!! MEETING SLOTS ARE AVAILABLE SMOKING NON-SMOKING. MOST TIME SLOTS AVAILABLE. FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL KATHY K.
(561) 926-0330
OUR CLUB
219 SOUTH DIXIE HWY. LAKE WORTH, FL. 33460
Saturday, May 22, 2010
2ND ANNUAL CADILLAC'S KIDS COMEDY NIGHT COMEDY, MUSIC, SILENT AUCTION, DOOR PRIZES & MORE! ALL PROCEED BENEFIT JAMES "CADILLAC" SAVILLE TRUST THE TRUST BENEFITS CHILDREN OF FALLEN BIKERS TO HELP PAY FOR THEIR EDUCATION.
Time:5:00pm - 10:00pm D.A.F. Auditorium 400 South Swinton Avenue - Delray Beach ,FL. 33444 ATLANTIC AVE E TO SWINTON AVE - SOUTH ON SWINTON TO SW 4TH ON YOUR RIGHT TICKETS: VIP $20.00 - - GENERAL ADMISSION $10.00 GROUP RATES AVAILABLE FOR SOBER LIVING FACILITIES & TREATMENT CENTERS
www.cadillacskids.com
FOR MORE INFO PLEASE CONTACT: Cajun Joe 954-515-9124
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Step 10 Quotes
Amends and Apologies “Classic remorse, as all the moralists are agreed, is a most undesirable sentiment. If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your wrongdoing. ROLLING IN THE MUCK IS NOT THE BEST WAY OF GETTING CLEAN.” ~ Aldous Huxley “It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them. To make a mistake is only an error in judgment, but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character.” ~Dale E. Turner “And he shall make amends for the harm that he hath done in the holy thing, and shall add the fifth part thereto, and give it unto the priest: and the priest shall make an atonement for him with the ram of the trespass offering, and it shall be forgiven him.” ~Bible quotes
The only correct actions are those that demand Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. no explanation and no apology. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand. ~Red Auerbach ~Emily Kimbrough The only good thing about punctuality is that it If you were going to die soon and had only one usually gets you an apology. phone call you could make, who would you call ~Author Unknown and what would you say? And why are you waiting? Apology is a lovely perfume; it can transform ~Stephen Levine the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift. ~Margaret Lee Runbeck For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness. When you realize you've made a mistake, make ~Author Unknown amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm. Not the fastest horse can catch a word spoken in ~Dan Heist anger. Keep your words soft and tender because ~Chinese Proverb tomorrow you may have to eat them. ~Author Unknown It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. ~William Blake
In some families, please is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was sorry. ~Margaret Laurence An apology is a good way to have the last word. ~Author Unknown A stiff apology is a second insult.... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt. ~G.K. Chesterton
There's one sad truth in life I've found An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair While journeying east and west The only folks we really wound just about anything. Are those we love the best. ~Lynn Johnston We flatter those we scarcely know, Apologizing - a very desperate habit - one that We please the fleeting guest, is rarely cured. Apology is only egotism wrong And deal full many a thoughtless blow To those who love us best. side out. ~Ella Wheeler Wilcox ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.,
The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway. ~Henry Boye You can make up a quarrel, but it will always show where it was patched. ~Edgar Watson Howe “Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.” ~Janis Joplin “It takes a great deal of character strength to apologize quickly out of one's heart rather than out of pity. A person must possess himself and have a deep sense of security in fundamental principles and values in order to genuinely apologize.” ~Stephen R. Covey
“Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. The bitterest tears shed over graves are for Don't worry whether or not they finally underNever ruin an apology with an excuse. words left unsaid and for deeds left undone. stand you. Love them and release them. Life ~Kimberly Johnson feeds back truth to people in its own way and ~Harriet Beecher Stowe, Little Foxes, 1865 time.” True remorse is never just a regret over conse- Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge. ~Sara Paddison quence; it is a regret over motive. ~Isaac Friedmann ~Mignon McLaughlin “Why must conversions always come so late? Forgiveness does not change the past, but it Why do people always apologize to corpses?” It's easier to apologize than ask for permission. does enlarge the future. ~ David Brin ~Author Unknown ~Paul Boese
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Recovery Bulletin Board A CHRIST CENTERED 12 STEP PROGRAM Every Tuesday 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm RSVP for Free Childcare New Children’s Recovery Celebration Station nrunhaar@FUMCBocaRaton.org FUMC,625 Mizner Blvd., Boca Raton, FL 33432
The BEACHCOMBER Family Center For The Treatment Of Alcoholism and Drug Addiction 4493 North Ocean Boulevard Delray Beach, FL 33483 Telephone: 561-734-1818 From Broward County: 421-6226 From South Palm Beach County: 276-6226
JOSEPH R. BRYAN, Director
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Step 11 Quotes
Prayer and Meditation “Prayer is when you talk to God; meditation is Just pray for a tough hide and a tender heart. when you listen to God.” ~Ruth Graham ~Anonymous When at night you cannot sleep, talk to the God punishes us mildly by ignoring our prayers Shepherd and stop counting sheep. and severely by answering them. ~Author Unknown ~Richard J. Needham When a man is at his wits' end it is not a cowardWhen we pray to God we must be seeking noth- ly thing to pray, it is the only way he can get in ing - nothing. touch with Reality. ~Saint Francis of Assisi ~Oswald Chambers "Give us this day our daily bread" is probably Many people pray as if God were a big aspirin the most perfectly constructed and useful sen- pill; they come only when they hurt. tence ever set down in the English language. ~B. Graham Dienert ~P.J. Wingate Prayer is not merely an occasional impulse to Prayer does not change God, but it changes him which we respond when we are in trouble: who prays prayer is a life attitude. . ~Søren Kierkegaard ~Walter A. Mueller No one is a firmer believer in the power of prayer than the devil; not that he practices it, but he suffers from it. ~Guy H. King Trouble and perplexity drive me to prayer and prayer drives away perplexity and trouble. ~Philip Melanchthen Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines. ~Satchel Paige The value of consistent prayer is not that He will hear us, but that we will hear Him. ~William McGill Prayer may not change things for you, but it for sure changes you for things. ~Samuel M. Shoemaker
Prayers not felt by us are seldom heard by God. ~Philip Henry The trouble with our praying is, we just do it as a means of last resort. ~Will Rogers Prayer is the coin paid to Gratitude. ~Jessi Lane Adams I believe in prayer. It's the best way we have to draw strength from heaven. ~Josephine Baker Prayer must never be answered: if it is, it ceases to be prayer and becomes correspondence. ~Oscar Wilde Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees. ~Victor Hugo, Les Misérables, 1862 I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. ~Abraham Lincoln God always answers our prayers, but sometimes the answer is no. ~Author Unknown In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in an clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth. ~Mahatma Gandhi God speaks in the silence of the heart. Listening is the beginning of prayer. ~Mother Teresa
To give thanks in solitude is enough. The Lord's Prayer may be committed to memo- Thanksgiving has wings and goes where it must Two hands working can do more than a thou- ry quickly, but it is slowly learnt by heart. go. Your prayer knows much more about it than sand clasped in prayer. ~Frederick Denison Maurice you do. ~Author Unknown ~Victor Hugo Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to I prayed for twenty years but received no answer know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do Everybody should have his personal sounds to until I prayed with my legs. not mean his maker, but himself. listen for - sounds that will make him exhilarat~Frederick Douglass ~William Inge ed and alive or quite and calm.... One of the Practical prayer is harder on the soles of your Grow flowers of gratitude in the soil of prayer. shoes than on the knees of your trousers. ~Terri Guillemets ~Austin O'Malley If we could all hear one another's prayers, God We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on might be relieved of some of his burdens. the difficulties. ~Ashleigh Brilliant ~Oswald Chambers
greatest sounds of them all - and to me it is a sound - is utter, complete silence ~Andre Kostelanetz What we usually pray to God is not that His will be done, but that He approve ours. ~Helga Bergold Gross
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Step 12 Quotes
Helping Others I have found the paradox that if I love until it The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love. whose shade you do not expect to sit. own. ~Nelson Henderson ~Mother Teresa ~Benjamin Disraeli How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a sin- The difference between a helping hand and an gle moment before starting to improve the outstretched palm is a twist of the wrist. We make a living by what we get, but we make world. a life by what we give. ~Laurence Leamer, King of the Night ~Anne Frank ~Winston Churchill Charity sees the need, not the cause. ~German Act as if what you do makes a difference. It Proverb The first question which the priest and the does. Levite asked was: "If I stop to help this man, ~William James In about the same degree as you are helpful, you what will happen to me?" But... the good Samaritan reversed the question: "If I do not will be happy. ~Karl Reiland We can do no great things, only small things stop to help this man, what will happen to him?" with great love. No man stands so straight as when he stoops to ~Martin Luther King, Jr. ~Mother Teresa help a boy. Sometime in your life, hope that you might see ~Knights of Pythagoras Being good is commendable, but only when it is one starved man, the look on his face when the combined with doing good is it useful. bread finally arrives. Hope that you might have ~Author Unknown baked it or bought or even kneaded it yourself. For that look on his face, for your meeting his I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God eyes across a piece of bread, you might be willwho is sending a love letter to the world. ing to lose a lot, or suffer a lot, or die a little, ~Mother Teresa even. ~Daniel Berrigan I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let What we have done for ourselves alone dies what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. with us; what we have done for others and the ~Edward Everett Hale world remains and is immortal. ~Albert Pike It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do little - do what you can. ~Sydney Smith Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him. The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to ~Albert Schweitzer matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all. He who gives when he is asked has waited too ~Leo Rosten long. ~Sunshine Magazine Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light. This is the true joy in life - being used for a pur~Norman B. Rice pose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are I expect to pass through life but once. If therethrown on the scrap heap; being a force of fore, there be any kindness I can show, or any nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me ailments and grievances complaining that the do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall world will not devote itself to making you not pass this way again. happy. ~William Penn ~George Bernard Shaw
It's easy to make a buck. It's a lot tougher to make a difference. ~Tom Brokaw God has not called us to see through each other, but to see each other through. ~Author Unknown When you dig another out of their troubles, you find a place to bury your own. ~Author Unknown Love the earth and sun and animals, Despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks, Stand up for the stupid and crazy, Devote your income and labor to others... And your very flesh shall be a great poem. ~Walt Whitman
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Nineteen Laws 1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. 2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. 5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. 6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). 7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. 8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. 10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 11. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk. 12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. 13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. 14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness & cost of the carpet or rug. 15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. 16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly. 17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet. 18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
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Call Eliot M. Bader At: 19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
1-800-854-9311
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The Watershed WELCOMES YOU to become a member of our newest and most innovative program yet‌.............. THE LIFE SAVER'S CLUB!!! In its most condensed definition - The Life Saver's Club is a service that allows its members, (YOU), the tools and support to help those people in your life currently caught in the grips of the progressive and fatal disease of addiction‌to get the very life saving help that they need. Along with this, the Life Saver's Club will also provide its members, (YOU), with services and information to benefit your life and enable us to recognize you and thank you for the efforts put forth in saving the life of another. The Watershed desires to have (YOU) become a part of this ground breaking, one of a kind opportunity. Because of this, becoming a member is fast and easy! Simply go to our web site:www.watershedalumni.com - and click on the (Life Saver logo). You will then be prompted to a registration form to complete and then click "submit". It's just that simple! As a member you will have resources to begin accessing information for support, to answer questions and enable you in your efforts to help others get the assistance that they need. Upon registering, you will receive a packet with information, Life Saver's Club Assistance cards to aid you in helping others and a gift just for joining! There is also a gift for making referrals, and in the event your referral comes in to the Watershed for treatment - A brick with you name will be placed at a designated site at our Palm Beach facility, to memorialize a life that has been saved. (On the Life Saver's Club site you will be able to see the names of our members, those who've made referrals and those who will have been a part of saving a life.) If the person you are trying to help is someone that will not be able to come in to treatment at The Watershed, no worries! We have a full time Resource Staff that will be ready to help that person locate treatment in their area that will fit into whatever budget or financial situation they may have. The Watershed cares about those suffering and desires to help them in whatever way possible. To refer someone for help there are several options: You can call "with them" to #1-877-97-LIVES; You can call "for them" to get things started or simply provide them with the Life Saver's Club Assistance Card that you will receive. You do NOT have to be an Alumnus of The Watershed to join. The Life Saver's Club is open to anyone that wishes to be a part of saving the lives of individuals caught in the grips of addiction. We look forward to hearing from YOU soon!
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May We All Be COFFEE!!!!!!! Something to think about in these uncertain times . . .
Carrots, Eggs & Coffee! A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee. You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again. A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out andplaced them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, 'Tell me what you see?' 'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich flavor. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?' Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hard-
ened.The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in theboiling water, they had changed the water. 'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
May we all be COFFEE!!!!!!!
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“ We all marvel at the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely do we consider what it went through to become that butterfly.” – Maya Angelou
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Wellington, Florida Kim Koslow, LMHC, CAP Licensed Psychotherapist & Certified Addiction Professional
561-422-9898
www.GotRealRecovery.com
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Life is short, eat dessert first.... Edible Oils by Maura Fine
To see more delectable treats and other fine works of art visit:
blue mango.etsy.com maurafineart.blogspot.com
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JO LINDA BROWN
obcottages@aol.com
OCEANBREEZE COTTAGES Safe Supportive Living Delray Beach, FL Cell 561-523-2806 Call for Info
Tel 561-495-1001 Fax 561-495-1002 www.obcottages.com
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JEANNIE SAROS
CAP, LMHC, MH 8070
National Board Certified Counselor EMDRA trained and certified Clinical Hypnotherapist specializing in trauma. Director of Recovery Coach Training for sober.com and Intervention Strategies On staff of Lotus 12 and Dr. Arthur Rosenblatt, 6699 S. Federal Hwy, Suite 103
Holistic Life Coach Specializing In: Recovery/Addiction/Trauma Group & Individual Therapy Clinical Hypnotherapy, EMDR, Recovery Coach Training Offering “koffee and kounseling� as a free service to the community at Gizzies Coffee every Tuesday from 7- 9, all seekers welcome! 6699 South Federal Hwy, Suite 103, Boca Raton, FL 33487 jsaros@lotus12.com jeannie@sober.com sarosjsar@aol.com
Phone: 561-542-0941 Wanna Play? Come on a Gratitude Cruise 561-702-2312
www.sobercelebrations.com
“The Bystander vs. The Samaritan” I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the community, and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.” ~ George Bernard Shaw It’s interesting that our society is set up in such a way as to almost make us bystanders. We watch reality shows, news shows and talk shows. We watch world events unfold from the safety of our home, via television or World Wide Web. We can watch what is recorded by hidden cameras and we can even watch events on our cell phones! Not that there is anything wrong with technological growth and advancement or our ability to know what is going on anywhere anytime if we so choose. What causes me to pause and to question, is that it seems to have become so much easier to be “observant bystanders” when it is happening in real life right in front of us. The two stories that follow are both true and depict the choice we all face: to be a Bystander or to be a Samaritan. About three years ago my husband and I were arriving to dine at a local restaurant. As we approached the entrance, we saw three men leaning against a car, two were talking and one was on his cell phone. Approximately 5 feet across from them was an elderly woman, laying face down on the pavement. There was no movement. (She appeared to be deceased.) Approximately 8 feet down from her were 12 people - all laughing and talking as if there were nothing wrong. This woman was in clear view of everyone and yet not one sole was at her side. I froze, just looking at her, my mind racing as I thought, “Why is no one with her? Why doesn’t anyone seem to notice her?” My husband said, “What do you want to do? That guy has called an ambulance.” I said, “I don’t know what to do.” (You see, as much as I felt in my heart that I should go to her, I did not do it.) He suggested we go in, and so we did. Seated at our table, I saw from our window that nothing had changed: She was still lying face down on the pavement; the three men were still to her left and the twelve people to her right were still talking and I.. was still feeling like I should have done something. Unable to stop myself, I began to cry. I thought, “That is someone’s mother, or sister or daughter. If that were my mom or my sister, it would kill me to think they were all alone like that.” As these thoughts went through my
mind, a crowd in the restaurant began celebrating and singing Happy Birthday to someone. Our food was delivered and my husband took my hand saying, “Let’s say a prayer for her and her family.” And so we did. The entire situation was so completely surreal – inside the crowd was singing Happy Birthday, while outside the ambulance arrived and left without sirens or lights. In recent months I’ve been privileged to both witness a miracle as well as watch the heart
Do I offer my assistance? felt actions of true Samaritans. Shortly after the earthquake in Haiti, the parents of a friend went on a month long mission trip to be of help and service to the people living there. One day my friend’s father, (Dave), came upon a man caught in the rubble of a building. This man didn’t speak or understand English and as Dave worked to free him, the man became combative, pulled a gun and shot him in the abdomen, causing him to fall and then collapse on his leg breaking it. There were no better medical services available to Dave than anyone else in the area, so for more than 24 hours he had to lie and wait (with a bullet lodged in his belly and a broken leg) for a chopper to transport him to the states to receive medical attention. For more than 24 hours his wife had to wait and pray that her husband would make it…while she was still helping others. When he finally arrived at a hospital in Miami they began to work on him. Over the next 36 hours Dave would have 22 hours of surgery and go into cardiac arrest twice – placing him in grave condition. Over those 22 hours his wife and children would be asking the question – “Why?...How?” and praying that he would just survive. Their prayers, as well as the prayers of many many people across the country, resulted in what was no less than a miraculous healing, as Dave would be on a flight home in approximately 4 weeks. The story could endthere, but it doesn’t - in fact…this is where it begins. Rather than being overcome and ruled by feelings of vengefulness towards his assailant, Dave made a decision to pursue this man, learning more about him and the reasoning behind his act of violence. The man who shot him had been arrested and was facing trial and prison. Through Dave’s inquiries he was made aware that his assailant, (on the day he was violently attacked), had been high and become
23 trapped in the rubble through efforts to reach and rescue his 2 year old daughter, who was at that time, alive and buried beneath him. This drug induced state combined with his inability to communicate and the traumatic circumstances involving his child - had ultimately brought about the tragic shooting which could have so easily taken Dave’s life. (The man’s daughter was ultimately and sadly not rescued before she perished in the rubble.) You would probably agree that simply the act of leaving the comfort of their home to go and live for a month in the devastation of Haiti, was in itself, the act of a Samaritan. If I told you that Dave requested of the court that this man NOT be sentenced…you might think it the incredible act of a Samaritan. But, what if I told you that he actually plead with the court for mercy on his assailant?…that he went so far as to advocate for his assailant to receive addiction treatment, so that he might have the opportunity for healing and a better life? What if I told you that he and his wife had expressed to the court their willingness to put forth financial assistance for this man to come to the states and receive this help? In fact…what if I told you that indeed the court did grant this request and that this man is now in the states receiving addiction treatment for the next year, with improvement currently being reported? Sound incredible?...Well, that is just exactly where things stand today. In steps 11 and 12 we are reminded of our purpose and of the Power source by which we can carry it out. For not only does my need for the physical ability to do God’s will exist…but it is also only through Him that I am able to truly see past my circumstances and possess the love and compassion that reaches beyond my own logic, understanding and limitations. Everyday we are presented with opportunities, both in the rooms of recovery and in the world around us to make a difference, in all manner of ways such as: If someone drops something…do I help them pick it up? If someone in a meeting looks scared and lost…do I reach out to them? If someone shares a need…do I offer my assistance? If someone falls…do I try to help them get back up? It is a choice every single day – I can be a part of life or I can be an observer of life. Being a Bystander is simply the process of watching as the needs of others come before me… being only a passive and apathetic observer. Being a Samaritan means living as an active participant in this thing called life; allowing myself to be guided not by my own desires…but rather to seek the direction and desire of God in this life that I have been so freely given. I know that “I” can not change myself, but these experiences have caused me say to my God, “Enable me to see with Your eyes, to hear withYour ears and to love with Your heart.”
Rebecca B. (BeccainBham@aol.com)
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Kids In Church A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
"Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?"
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
***************
Feeling their respective faces again, she A mother was preparing pancakes for her observed, "God's getting better at it, sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan, 3. The boys began to isn't he?" argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity *************** for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say 'Let my brother have And one particular four-year old prayed, the first pancake, I can wait.'Kevin "And forgive us our trash baskets as we turned to his younger brother and said, forgive those who put trash in our bas- "Okay Ryan, you be Jesus!" kets." **************** A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am." *****************
*************** A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer." ****************
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to After the church service a little boy told his mother, "Mom, I've decided to the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to become a minister When I grow up." give you some money." "That's okay with us, but what made you ****************
decide that?" "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go "But why?" to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure "Because my daddy says you're one of the it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen." poorest preachers we've ever had."
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary ****************** to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because A wife invited some people to dinner. At people are sleeping." the table, she turned to their six-year old daughter and said, "Would you like to *************** say the blessing?" The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel microphone, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
*************** Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus, But who is the fourth person? Oh, that's Pontius-the pilot. ******************
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, wife answered. Johnny, tell me frankly do you say The daughter bowed her head and said, prayers before eating?" "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."
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AA HISTORY
There Are No Rules In AA, But...... There is only one rule in AA and it appears in 7) “Sit up front and listen” has always been an Traditions Four. It is Rule 62 and states: “Don’t take unofficial slogan. The old timers call the back of the yourself to damn seriously!” room the “denial aisle”. But there are many suggestions: Many of the suggestions concerning behavior at AA meetings have evolved over the years and are passed down to us from the earliest days of AA. They basically deal with the concept of respecting the program and respecting each other and teach us to keep the rooms of AA safe and comfortable for all who wish to recover. Some generally accepted suggestions include:
8) At speaker meetings always thank the speakers. You will really understand this one when you get to speak at a speakers meeting.
9) At closed meetings it is a good idea to identify as “Joe an alcoholic” or “Joe and I have a desire to stop drinking”. “Joe an addict” is not forbidden as there are no rules, however in order to be respectful of the house you are in it is thoughtful of others if you identify in one 1) Arrive a meetings early and stay late. Engage of the two ways suggested. in the fellowship before and after meetings. 10) Clean up after yourself and help put chairs 2) Be attentive and respectful to those who are away and with other closing chores. I always say “this group has a clean up committee and you are all on it.” speaking. 11) Put something in the basket. AA has no dues 3) Be in your seat before the start of the meeting and say in your seat unless there is an emergency. Try or fees but needs to pay its expenses and we are the to limit coffee runs and bathroom breaks to the meeting guests of the group hosting the meeting so we can help them continue to provide it to us. break or after the meeting. 12) AA is not group therapy. Sharing of experi4) Do not engage in conversation during the ence strength and hope as it relates to alcoholism is the meeting. focus of all AA meetings. Intimate details of one’s life 5) Turn off cell phone or better yet leave it at home and problems are best left to sponsors and/or professionals. or in the car. 13. Finally remember always that “love an toler6) Texting, computers, headphones, reading newspapers or other books are all disrespectful to the ance is our code” which means that we should always treat others as we would like to be treated and in so meeting process. doing miraculous events can and will occur.
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AA HISTORY PAGE
Dr. Bob’s Step Three Step 3
( d ) Are you convinced that you must be rid of this selfishness? ( e ) Are you convinced that your selfishness is killing you?
As outlined in a flyer from Dr. Bob's house. ( This is the written outline - more specific 'action' instructions are provided when visiting in person. ) ( REVIEW ) * ( Step One ) - Yes or No: Have you learned and have you fully conceded to your innermost self that you are an alcoholic? * ( Step Two ) - Yes or No: Do you believe, or are you even willing to believe. that there is a power greater than you? * ( Step Three ) - Yes or No: ( a ) Are you convinced about steps one and two?
( f ) Are you convinced that there is often no way of entirely getting rid of self without a higher power's aid? ( g ) Are you convinced that you have to have a higher power's help? ( h ) Are you convinced that you have to quit playing the role of a higher power that it never worked? ( i ) Are you convinced that a higher power is going to be your director, principle, father and employer? ( j ) Are you convinced that you have thought well about taking this step? ( k ) Are you convinced that you can at last abandon yourself utterly to a higher power?
Are You Ready To Take Step Three ?
( b ) Are you convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a God I offer myself to Thee - to build with me and do with me as Thou success? wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to ( c ) Are you convinced that your troubles are basically of your own those I would help of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life. May making, and that they arise out of you and that you are an extreme I do Thy will always! example of self will run riot?
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Darren Littlejohn
Be-Ism or Theism:
How To Have A Higher Power As A Buddhist In Recovery To God or not to God. That is the question. At least if you're trying to work a 12-Step program anyway. At the crux of any decision, from the most trivial to the most serious, is the intention to "turn it over" to a Higher Power or stay in self-will. But in the Dharma we have no such "other" to turn anything over to. Not in the sense that a deity will save us from ourselves. There are those who pray to Buddhas as if they are Gods. And they might get answers, who knows. But what has always drawn me to Buddhism was the feeling that somewhere within us all is the wisdom that we need. On a TV interview the host asked me, "Well how do you give it up to a Higher Power in Buddhism?" My answer was that in the book I talk about simple ways to turn our power of choice over to higher principles. We can use Buddhist techniques of meditation to experience many levels of understanding on any of the main spiritual principles of recovery. But it all comes down to the ability to be comfortable in our own skin. What good is practice if we can't shake the feeling that we're flawed at the core. And that's exactly how I felt after decades of praying to God to spare me from an acute, chronic psychic pain. Maybe that kind of spirituality works for some people who are comforted enough by the notion of salvation that they can tolerate their misery. But it doesn't work for me or, as I'm finding since the book came out, for many people who are, or would like to be in recovery. For us, Praying to God is a FAIL. I admittedly don't know how to use theism, or the belief in an outside force, to feel better. As much as I've tried to use externals to change my feelings it's never worked on any long term basis. Be it from drugs, women, grades, raises, applause, laughter - temporary relief always fades. And guess what doesn't? That pervasive dark feeling of dis-ease, shining black through like a reverse sunrise-blinding any glimmer of satisfaction that the crack of quick cash or a fat stash or batting eye lash could give me. Gone. And there I am left to feel, one more time, like I'm stuck in the wrong side of a colon. The solution for feeling this way is to practice the principle of the first step. But for me,
with a dose of Dharma to take it deeper. That principle is self-acceptance. If AA is right and pain is the touchstone of all spiritual growth then the Buddha was right when he pointed out that all actions in samsara (endless cycle of of rebirth) lead to suffering. We can meditate until our pursed lips are purple with exertion to transcend the pain of being or we can learn to be, being-as the ache inside our souls pulses on.
Enlightened Beings to gain the understanding of Enlightened Beings. In this sense the Dharma is a gift. The application, like prayer, is up to us. But the result, unlike theistic prayer, is also up to us. In learning to trade self for others we learn acceptance of self and others. Another view might be that Awakened Ones have given us the teachings, methods and advice for how we can come to our own place of selflove and stop hurting ourselves and others. They're different beings than us but share the same Awake nature. Please don't confuse this with the infantile notion that we're all one being. (That thinking is a kind of sickness in my view.) The way I'm talking about enlightenment here is more analogous to all of the infinite molecules, elements and matter and consciousnesses that make up everything sharing the same basic space. This cup and that cup are two different cups in that yours was made then and of different colored material and mine another time and this color but the same in that they're not as separate or independently arising as they appear. Yet yours holds wine and mine sparkling cider. Please don't mix them up! Whether we're in the mindset to view the Buddha as ourselves trying to wake ourselves up Breathing in, acknowledge, "Yeah it $*&ing or as somebody else who's shared the same sufhurts." Breathe out, "I'm not the only one who ferings, the onus is still on us to get out of hell, feels this way." Next level. On the in breath I or learn how to breathe fire. The practice of selfconsider, "What would it feel like if my heart acceptance is still the key because it is the pracwas big enough to willingly take on the suffer- tice of accepting our pain and subsequently ings of others- from those I supposedly love to enables us to understand the pain of others. those I hate without doubt. What would my Learning to be, trading ourselves for thee, experience of self be like?" there is a you and there us a me, just not as conSomehow in the course of working with med- crete as it seems to be. But we share the same itations like this I acknowledge within myself a space as we and thus are free to be. See? space of self generated self-acceptance. It is Darren Littlejohn, author of the 12-Step real, not the result of peripheral grace. So where Buddhist (Beyond Words/Atria 2009) is a does this sense of being come from? recovering addict and a practitioner of Zen Rather than a God outside who happened to and Tibetan Buddhism, as well as a former smile favorably upon me, this realization is of mental health specialist. He earned a BA in an aspect of myself, which I choose to call Psychology in 1991 and worked in chemical dependency and acutepsychiatric care faciliBuddha, who kept coming back and kept comties during college. Darren took 2 years of ing back to trade bliss for pain, deep knowledge graduate school in Research Methods for for deep sleep, until the rest of me could get it, Psychology. For how-to articles, audio/video use it, apply it and do it. That trading self for podcasts, workshops, and resources see: others practice-perfected. We do the practices of the12stepbuddhist.com
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For Your Inspiration Eight Gifts That Don't Cost A Cent! ~THE GIFT OF LISTENING ~ But, you must REALLY listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listening. ~THE GIFT OF AFFECTION ~ Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends. ~THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER ~ Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you." ~THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE ~It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note, or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and may even change a life. ~THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT ~ A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super job," or "That was a wonderful meal", can make someone's day. ~THE GIFT OF A FAVOR ~ Every day, go out of your way to do something kind. ~THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE ~ There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others. ~THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION ~ The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone, really it's not that hard to say, "Hello" or "Thank You."
And Don't Forget : LOVE is A Gift We Can Give Every Day!!!
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(561)-278-0055 Wayside House is a not for profit substance abuse treatment center helping women recover from addictive illnesses for over 34 years. The following services are availabe on a sliding fee scale: * Residential treatment * Intensive Outpatient Treatment * Individual Outpatient Therapy * Relapse Prevention Groups * Family and children’s programs Orientation is held every Tuesday at 10 A.M., no appointment necessary. Please contact Jackie McGee at 561-278-0055, for more information.
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WE THE PEOPLE The Gabriel Heatter Broadcast of April 25, 1939 Gabriel Heatter, the nationally recognized radio broadcaster, provided the forum for the the first national exposure received by Alcoholics Anonymous, April 25, 1939. Heatter's nightly "We The People" radio broadcast was a tremendously popular program listened to by millions of people nationwide. Heatter was known for his trademark line, "Ah, there's good news tonight!" Little did he know how good that news was to become to suffering alcoholics worldwide. Morgan R., the AA member who spoke on the program, was a former ad man. The broadcast was expected to launch sales of the newly published book, Alcoholics Anonymous. The story of Morgan's three day "captivity" to prevent him from drinking before the broadcast, and the resulting two Big Book sales are described in Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age on pages 174-175.
"WE THE PEOPLE" HEATTER: The man beside me now has had one of the most gripping and dramatic experiences I've ever heard. I'm not going to tell you his name. And when you hear what he has to say I think you'll understand why. But after checking the facts the Listeners Committee of "We The People" decided to grant him time because they feel that if one person is helped by hearing his story, then WE THE PEOPLE will have done a real service. Alright, sir. ANONYMOUS GUEST: Six months ago I got out of an insane asylum. I'd been sent there because I was drinking myself to death. But the doctors said they could do nothing for me. And only four years ago I was making 20,000 dollars a year. I was married to a swell girl and had a young son. But I worked hard and like lots of my friends - I used to drink to relax. Only they knew when to stop. I didn't. And pretty soon - I drank myself out of my job. I promised my wife I'd straighten out. But I couldn't. Finally she took the baby and left me. The next year was like a nightmare. I was penniless. I went out on the streets - panhandled money for liquor. Every time I sobered up - I swore not to touch another drop. But if I went a few hours without a drink - I'd begin to cry like a baby, and tremble all over. One day after I left the asylum I met a friend of mine. He took me to the home of one of his friends. A bunch of men were sitting around, smoking cigars,
telling jokes - having a great time. But I noticed they weren't drinking. When Tom told me they'd all been in the same boat as I was - I couldn't believe him. But he said, "See that fellow? He's a doctor. Drank himself out of his practice. Then he straightened out. Now he's head of a big hospital." Another big strapping fellow was a grocery clerk. Another the vice president of a big corporation. They got together five years ago. Called themselves Alcoholics Anonymous. And they'd worked out a method of recovery. One of their most important secrets was - helping the other fellow. Once they began to follow it the method proved successful and helped others get on their feet - they found they could stay away from liquor. Gradually - those men helped me back to life. I stopped drinking. Found courage to face life once again. Today I've got a job and I'm going to climb back to success. Recently we wrote a book called "Alcoholics Anonymous". It tells precisely how we all came back from a living death. Working on that book made me realize how much other people had suffered - how they'd gone through the same thing I did. That's why I wanted to come on this program. I wanted to tell people who are going through that torment - if they sincerely want to, they can come back. Take their place in society once again! (APPLAUSE) (MUSIC) This broadcast was made at a time when A.A. and the BigBook effort was $10,000 in debt, with only $500 left in the bank... Morgan Ryan, the good-looking Irishman who had taken the book to the Catholic Committee on Publication, had been a good ad man. He said that he knew Gabriel Heatter. "Gabriel is putting on these 3 minute heart to heart programs on the radio. I'll get an interview with him and maybe he'll interview me on the radio about all this." And the REST OF THE STORY is history in: "AA History And How The Big Book Was Put Together" - A Talk By Bill Wilson - Fort Worth, Texas - 1954 Available @:http://www.barefootsworld.net/aabook1954.html
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Carol Bennett, MA
My Loved One Is Getting Out of Rehab---Now What? Well, the day has finally come that you and your family and/or friends will be welcoming home your loved one from their residential (or otherwise) recovery program. The alcoholic/addict looks terrific and sounds better than ever before. You are hopeful and optimistic about your clean and sober loved one, but something is tugging at you...just a little; what now? All the hard work that everyone has put into this new lifestyle will be for naught if there is no RECOVERY PLAN. A recovery plan is just that -- a plan for ones in recovery to incorporate doable, realistic goals AND consequences for falling short of those goals. The parent, spouse, family member or friend (if involved with their loved ones recovery) that does not insist upon a structure or plan, versus leaving it all up to the alcoholic/addict's judgment and hoping that everything will work out with a few well intended ideas, is vastly irresponsible. My clients have said that their son or daughter returned to live at home and the family requested or even demanded that they keep their room clean, return to school, get a job, help with the household chores, etc...He/she agreed, but after awhile things slacked off; everyone got busy and ultimately became complacent. I would ask them what happened to the consequence column.Though you don't want to be a babysitter to the alcoholic/addict, if your life is involved with theirs, a plan represents important boundaries and guidelines and will in turn develop a mutual respect. It is important to do this recovery contract TOGETHER and in writing. This way, neither of you can say that they didn't "understand" what was said, or what was expected. The alcoholic/addict must be an active participant in what he or she thinks can be accomplished in their treatment plan goals. He or she must understand and accept the consequences if those goals aren't adhered to or completed and you MUST enforce them or don't bother having the plan at all. Conversely, if the alcoholic/addict is not going to have any involvement with friends or family and is to continue recovery on their own, or opt out of recovery all together, then no recovery contract is needed. But keep in mind that even the slightest involvement would bode well from a written or strongly stated understanding. For example, if your son's only involvement with the family is occasional meals, make sure it's clearly understood what time he is expected and that you require a clean and sober dinner companion. Excessive tardiness or a questionable sober disposition should scratch the whole evening. Another important aspect of the recovery contract represents a routine for the alcoholic/addict with achievable goals; they will come to respect and appreciate the rules and regulations of this agreement. The recovery contract put together between parents and children is broken down into five columns: ~The first column will be goals and accomplishments that both you and the alcoholic/addict agree on and are obtainable. ~ The second column will discuss how the alcoholic/addict sees the goal in column one happening. What footwork does he or she need to do to make this goal a reality? ~ Column three has a projected date for completion. ~ Column four will either have a check mark as completed or a new date for completion. ~ Column five will be the consequences if the other columns have not been fulfilled. Let's look at the specifics: Column one - This column will always state that the alcoholic/addict will
continue to practice a clean and sober lifestyle and abstain from ALL mind-altering drugs. Even if your loved one claims that he can drink because cocaine has been their drug of choice -- no go. Column two - The alcoholic/addict will be available for random drug testing either at home or a drug testing center. A suggested 12-step recovery program, and/or drug and alcohol counseling. Column three - Since this is ongoing, write down a date of six weeks or two months to just touch base or check-in with your loved one to see how they are doing. Column four - If there was been a relapse, start over with a new date to check in regarding their sobriety. Column five - Depending on your contract, one relapse or a steady stream of them may result in your loved one returning to a recovery program. Perhaps living at home may no longer be an option. Don't forget that the alcoholic/addict (child or companion) is in an established rehab program for a reason. Start that recovery contract with stating that leaving the program early is not an option. I have heard time and time again how the alcoholic/addict decided on their own that they didn't need to complete the required amount of days or that this program was not for them. Unless there is a bonafide reason for such, don't buy into their decision; after all, "their stinkin', thinkin' got them to rehab to begin with. Part two of the contract involves personal goals: Column one - These goals can range from keeping one's room clean, getting a part-time job, or returning to school. Column two - How this will be accomplished might be a weekly room inspection, filling out job applications (specify a number) online or in person, enrolling in classes (expect to see grades). Column three - Jointly pick a date where you can see that the action was completed. Column four - Have these dates been met? If not, discuss why and put in new dates. Column five- Implement the consequences if a goal has not been met. They can range from no cell phone until the action has been completed to satisfaction to finding a new place to live. Make sure the punishment fits the crime, but being soft will only weaken your position and, trust me, set you back with your credibility. For a spouse or partner, the recovery contract and personal contract can look the same except for columns one and five of the personal contract. Column one's goals might be to go to couple's counseling, or find new activities to do together. I have encouraged my adult clients in recovery to find something that they can be passionate about. Returning to school to get a higher degree, start a hobby or delve into sailing, tennis or marathon running. Anything to break the old cycle where drinking or drugs were part of the routine.Column 5's consequences may incorporate you taking some time away from home; either a few hours at a movie, an overnight elsewhere or moving out for a few months while the alcoholic/addict decides his/her course and you do the same. For both child and adult, the recovery goals are the most important, for if they are not satisfied then it is pointless to incorporate personal goals. Without a clean and sober lifestyle, personal goals are a waste of time. The personal goals will help reestablish the self-esteem of the alcoholic/addict as well as offer the growth and productivity needed to reenter society and have a healthier partnership with you. If I can be of service to you or your family, please e-mail me at Carole@familyrecoverysolution.com or go to http://familyrecoverysolutions.com/free_one_hour_session.html
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The Wit of Jerry Seinfeld I was the best man at the wedding. If The Swiss have an interesting army. Five I'm the best man, why is she marrying hundred years without a war. Pretty him? impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife It's amazing that the amount of news they have to fight with? Not much of a that happens in the world every day weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openalways just exactly fits the newspaper. ers. "Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got You know you're getting old when you a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clipget that one candle on the cake. It's pers right here." like, "See if you can blow this out." Men don't care what's on TV. They only Men want the same thing from their care what else is on TV. underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge. Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
The big advantage of a book is it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning. I have a friend who's collecting unemployment insurance. This guy has never worked so hard in his life as he has to keep this thing going. He's down there every week, waiting on the lines and getting interviewed and making up all these lies about looking for jobs. If they had any idea of the effort and energy that he is expending to avoid work, I'm sure they'd give him a raise. To me, a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there is a problem the lawyer is the only person who has read the inside of the top of the box. The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all the same; so we might as well dress them that way. That's why a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride and some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, created by women because they know that men are undependable. So in case the groom chickens out, everybody just takes one step over, and she marries the next guy.
According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
My parents didn't want to move to Why do people give each other flowers? Florida, but they turned sixty, and To celebrate various important occa- that's the law. sions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, I will never understand why they cook on let's make up. Have this deceased squir- TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of the show they hold rel." it up to the camera, "Well, here it is. You Sometimes the road less traveled is less Seems to me the basic conflict between can't have any. Thanks for watching. traveled for a reason. men and women, sexually, is that men are Goodbye." like firemen. To men, sex is an emerPeople who read the tabloids deserve to gency, and no matter what we're doing be lied to. we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're Why do they call it a "building"? It looks very exciting, but the conditions have to like they're finished. Why isn't it a be exactly right for it to occur. "built"?
Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.
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The Wisdom Lao Tzu A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving. A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves. All difficult things have their origin in that which is easy, and great things in that which is small. An ant on the move does more than a dozing ox. Anticipate the difficult by managing the easy.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a Health is the greatest possession. day. Teach him how to fish and you feed Contentment is the greatest treasure. him for a lifetime. Confidence is the greatest friend. Nonbeing is the greatest joy. Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These He who conquers others is strong; He three are your greatest treasures. who conquers himself is mighty. If you do not change direction, you may He who does not trust enough, Will not end up where you are heading. be trusted. If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you are not afraid of dying, there is nothing you cannot achieve. If you would take, you must first give, this is the beginning of intelligence.
At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want. Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.
In dwelling, live close to the ground. In thinking, keep to the simple. In conflict, be fair and generous. In governing, don't try to control. In work, do what you enjoy. In family life, be completely present.
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.
By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.
Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides.
He who knows others is wise. He who Do the difficult things while they are knows himself is enlightened. easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles He who knows that enough is enough will must begin with a single step. always have enough.
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
Love is of all passions the strongest, for Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. He who knows, does not speak. He who it attacks simultaneously the head, the Keep sharpening your knife and it will speaks, does not know. heart and the senses. blunt. He who obtains has little. He who scat- Music in the soul can be heard by the From caring comes courage. ters has much. universe. From wonder into wonder existence opens. He who is contented is rich.
He who talks more is sooner exhausted. How could man rejoice in victory and delight in the slaughter of men?
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. Nature is not human hearted.
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Chef Lester’s Sober Sideboard
SPRING HAS SPRUNG
Spring is always such a great time of the year. It's to time to plant a vegetable garden. There is an abundance of flowers everywhere. The birds are chirping and we have that special spring in our steps! We've done our mandatory annual "spring cleaning" and it feels good. It always feels good when we get that heavy dusting, mopping, furniture rearranging, and cleaning out the garage finished. Aw, a job well done! Recently at a support group meeting as we were listening to others sharing their stories, something dawned on us about our spring cleaning. We suddenly realized we had done our physical spring cleaning but we needed to do some spiritual spring cleaning. Oh yes, we do our steps and try to make our amends as we err. But, sometimes we fall short and we realized we hadn't kept our side of the street as clean as we possibly could. So we did some back tracking to tidy up some things that needed correcting. Yeah, we know nobody is perfect and we certainly never will be! There were things we shouldn't have done that we did and were too busy to correct right
then. We had planned to do it but didn't get around to it. It was the old… "I'll do it tomorrow." Then tomorrow doesn't come. That my friend, is where the danger creeps in up on us. Those "little" things that seemed minor at the time can snowball and the next thing we know we are deluged with an avalanche. All those little nagging uneasy wrong feelings can become a mountain of negativity. It is like harking back to our old barroom philosophy days of talking about life rather than engaging in it. It can be detrimental to our sobriety. Successful sober living doesn't just mean just staying physically sober. We've got to work on keeping our emotional and spiritual sides from falling prey to ethereal drunkenness. Don't act naive, you know exactly what we mean…ignoring things we shouldn't, getting smug, self-righteous, and TOO big for our britches! OUCH! Sooo, we are doing some soul searching remembering how important is us to stay on the right path. We know the winner isn't always the fastest runner but to the one who preserves. Since we are involved in the culinary arts, we've turned it into a simple 4 ingredient recipe for ourselves. We call it "making our daily P.A.H.U. cake and eating it too." The ingredients are: Prayer: Pray everyday turning problems and worries over to the God of our understanding. Amends: Make amends each day no matter how busy we are. Honesty: Be honest daily in all our affairs. Usefulness: Be useful to other people and do a good deed every day. The great thing about this recipe is we can mix any of the ingredients in any amount we need and it never fails. Try it…your soul will be glad you did! Now that we've fed our souls, let's move toward feeding our bodies. We're starting our summer grilling season with
a fantastic Hispanic inspired pork chop dish that will satisfy both body and soul. Let's grab our chef's hats and aprons and head for the outdoor grill. INGREDIENTS: 1 cup mojo mainate (available in the Mexican food section of the grocery) 4 1-inch thick boneless center cut pork chops Vegetable oil Lemon/Pepper seasoning Kosher salt PREPARATION: Preheat the grill. Rinse and pat dry the chops. Place them in the marinate and let stand 15 to 30 minutes. Lightly salt the chops and then press in lemon/pepper seasoning. Oil the grill rack to reduce the chops from sticking to it. Grill 6-7 minutes on each side. Baste the top side of the chops again before turning over to grill the second side. SERVING: You can serve the chops directly from the grill. We like to grill sliced onions, green/red/yellow peppers, and zucchini in a grill basket along side the chops. If you want the veggies a little softer start those five minutes before the chops. You can also grill thick sliced potatoes or corn on the cob if you want a starch. You can do a totally grilled meal if you can toast garlic bread and grill some fruit for dessert. Drizzle a little honey on the finished fruit. Topping this off with a flavored coffee can turn this family meal into company fare! This easy meal will have your family and friends singing your praises with: "That's DEE-licious!" "Try it…Your tummy will be glad you did!" ---Chef Lester Chef Lester, author, columnist, and television host chef is a graduate of the Culinary Arts Academy. Questions, Comments, and suggestions? E-mail: cheflesterlee@yahoo.com
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Daffynissions rabbit - small portion of a Rabbi
rebate - to put another worm on the hook rectitude - the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist racehorse - an animal that can take sev- rebel - what you have to do when kids immediately before examining you eral thousand people for a ride at one don't come to class when first calleg time red blood count - Dracula rebuffs - polished athletic shoes race track - a place where windows clean redneck - popular term for a rustic male; receding hare line a bunch of bunnies people rarely employed when addressing one in hopping backwards person racism - a pigment of the imagination redundancy - an air bag in a politician's radical - a man with both feet planted car firmly in the air reel - a weighted object that causes a radioactive - individual who can't work rod to sink quickly when dropped overwithout music board raincoat - article of clothing mom bought to keep a child dry and warm, rendered ineffective because it's in the bottom of a locker stuffed in a book bag or because the child refuses to wear "the geeky thing"
reflection - what a girl looks at, but is not given to reform - 1) to gain or lose weight 2) to pound into an unrecognisable mess in the hope you can then make something useful out of it
raisin - 1) a grape with a sunburn 2) a worried grape ram - an intricate docking maneuver sometimes used by experienced skippers
Red Blood Count
reformed - a synagogue that closes for the Jewish holidays
refrigerator - a very expensive and effirecessional - the ceremonial procession cient room air conditioner when not being rampage - section of a book about male at the conclusion of mass; led by parish- used as an art gallery sheep ioners trying to beat the crowd to the refuse - to replace a burned-out fuse parking lot random access memory - when you forget what you paid for that new sports car recessional hymn - the last song at mass, regression analysis - mathematical techin the driveway when your wife asks often sung a little more quietly, since niques for trying to understand why things are getting worse most of the people have already left rapport - a French rapper recipe - series of step-by-step instruc- reignition - the silly act of trying to ratify - to use a spell and turn a person tions for preparing ingredients you for- restart a car whose engine is already runinto a rodent got to buy, in utensils you don't own, for ning a dish you'll never make rationale - the reason invented by the conscious mind to explain to itself why recount - an honorary title reaffirmed by the unconscious mind did whatever it did, Floridians even though it was no position to stop it rectangle - what the fisherman was left with after his brush with Moby Dick raw - served on rare occasions reactor - a star in a rerun real blast - intro Chemistry lab
rejection - 1 when your imaginary friends won't talk to you relationships - all the yachts your family owns relax - to take another laxative after the first one doesn't work
rectify - a state of disorder dependent upon a conditional act's occurrence; This motorcycle would be rectify drove it over relief - what trees do in the spring a cliff
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Rule 62 Page
Glossary of Performance Evaluation Terms and Phrases a keen analyst - thoroughly confused accepts new job assignments willingly - never finishes a job active socially - drinks heavily adapts to stress - passes wind, water, or out depending upon the severity of the situation aggressive - obnoxious alert to company developments - an office gossip an excellent sounding board - present reviewee with any number of alternatives, and implement them in the order precisely opposite of his/her specification a planner and organizer - usually manages to put on socks before shoes; can match the animal tags on his clothing approaches difficult problems with logic - finds someone else to do the job average - not too bright bridge builder - likes to compromise career-minded - backstabber careful thinker - won't make a decision character above reproach - still one step ahead of the law charismatic - no interest in any opinion but his own competent - is still able to get work done if supervisor helps conscientious and careful - scared consistent - reviewee hasn't gotten anything right yet, and it is anticipated that this pattern will continue throughout the coming year consults with co-workers often - 1) indecisive, confused, and clueless 2) the office gossip consults with supervisor often - pain in the ass delegates responsibility effectively - passes the buck well demonstrates qualities of leadership - is tall or has a loud voice deserves promotion - create new title to make them feel appreciated displays excellent intuitive judgement - knows when to disappear displays great dexterity and agility - dodges and evades superiors well doesn’t suffer fools gladly - rude and abrasive enjoys job - needs more to do excels in sustaining concentration but avoids confrontations - ignores everyone excels in the effective application of skills - makes a good cup of coffee exceptionally well qualified - has committed no major blunders to date expresses self well - 1) can string two sentences together 2) speaks English gets along extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike - a coward goal oriented - continually sets low goals for himself, and usually fails to meet them good communication skills - spends lots of time on phone growth potential - with proper guidance, periodic counselling, and remedial training, the reviewee may, given enough time and close supervision, meet the minimum requirements expected of him by the company happy - paid too much hard worker - usually does it the hard way has management potential - because of his intimate relationship with inanimate objects, the reviewee has been appointed to the critical position of department pencil monitor
identifies major management problems - complains a lot independent worker - nobody knows what he or she does indifferent to instruction - knows more than superiors inspirational - a true inspiration to others; There, but for the grace of God, go I. internationally known - likes to go to conferences and trade shows in Las Vegas is well informed - knows all office gossip and where all the skeletons are kept inspires the cooperation of others - gets everyone else to do the work judgment is usually sound - lucky keen sense of humor - knows lots of dirty jokes keeps stress out of own life - gives it to others instead keeps informed on business issues - subscribes to Playboy and National Enquirer key company figure - serves as the perfect counter example listens well - has no ideas of his own maintains a high degree of participation comes to work on time maintains professional attitude - a snob meticulous in attention to detail - a nitpicker mover and shaker - favors steamroller tactics without regard for other opinions not a desk person - did not go to college of great value to the organization - turns in work on time outgoing personality - always going out of the office quick thinking - offers plausible excuses for errors requires work-value attitudinal readjustment - lazy and hard-headed should go far - please skilled oral communicator - mumbles inaudibly when attempting to speak, talks to self, argues with sel f- loses these arguments skilled written communicator - scribbles well; memos are invariably illegible, except for the portions that attribute recent failures to someone else slightly below average - stupid spends extra hours on the job - miserable home life stern disciplinarian - a real jerk straightforward - blunt and insensitive strong adherence to principles - stubborn tactful in dealing with superiors - knows when to keep mouth shut takes advantage of every opportunity to progress - buys drinks for superiors takes pride in work - conceited unlimited potential - will stick with us until retirement unusually loyal - wanted by no one else uses all available resources - takes office supplies home for personal use uses logic on difficult jobs - gets someone else to do it uses resources well - delegates everything uses time effectively - clock watcher very creative - finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work visionary - cannot handle paperwork or any project that lasts less than a week well-organized - does too much busywork will go far - relative of management
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Parting Shots: Irony
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