Family Times - Wellington - Summer 2014

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Siblings with different capabilities Reward effort, not ability, for family harmony.

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How to stalk your kids

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Get online savvy and beat them at their own game.

A news magazine and online resource for families

Multiple births

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How to manage more

than one baby.

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ISSN 2324-4542 (Print) ISSN 2324-4550 (Online)

WELLINGTON / ISSUE 60 / Summer 2014

Work-life balance tricky for NZ women Mother of two Dr Annick Masselot balances work and family daily, but says that society still expects more of her as a parent than it does of her husband.

the two sexes.”

Even changes to parental leave, generally hailed as a positive step for women, have a downside for gender equality in parenting, says Masselot. Parental leave will be extended from 14 weeks to 16 weeks in 2015, and 18 weeks in 2016. Given that it is predominantly women who take parental leave, expanding maternity leave entrenches women into a asselot and her husband, who both work domestic role, she says. as associate professors at the University of Canterbury, share work and home/family “It’s a reflection of how responsibilities on an equal basis. She drops production is more the children to school in the morning and he valued than reproduction picks them up in the afternoon. But people’s in our society, in New expectations on her are quite different from Zealand.” those on her husband, she says.

“Recently I went away for three weeks to Europe. My husband was looking after the children, and friends would tell him how well he was doing, how he is able to cook for them “There’s a reason for maternity leave: it’s to recover from giving birth. You need 6 to10and look after them. He gets a lot of help from other women and offers of play dates for weeks. If you want to expand leave, I think it’s the kids. It’s like, a good father doesn’t require a better idea to have the father take part of this leave and to have men bonding with their child.” a lot, as long as the children are still alive.

Masselot also thinks that parental leave should “When he goes away, I don’t get any help. be paid on a wage equivalent to a worker’s Nobody tells me how I’m a good mother for looking after the kids alone. What’s expected normal earnings, not the minimum wage as it is currently, and that employers should pay a of women is so much more than what is part of that cost. expected of men so far as parenting goes.”

Masselot is an employment lawyer who works “The payment is on the minimum wage. It’s a reflection of how production is more valued in the university’s School of Business and than reproduction in our society, in New Economics researching paid work and how it Zealand. is evolving and changing. However, for all of “I think that the employer should pay part the advances in equality, Masselot says that parenthood is still strictly a gendered concept. of the maternity leave because I think that companies are not entities that are excluded “Being a good parent is seen differently for

M

from society. They benefit from us have children, and continuing society. Companies should not be seen as being apart from society. It’s an outdated way to see employers outside of the whole issue. Production and reproduction are linked.”

New Zealand legislation is also stacked against less affluent women, Masselot says.

For example, you have to be in a job for at least a year to benefit from parental leave.

This disadvantages lower wage workers who have casual jobs, or who frequently change employment.

She also says that the Family Tax Credit package needs an overhaul, as it doesn’t support people who aren’t in mainstream types of relationships.

“The reality is that there are a lot of people who are single parents; it’s just a fact of life in Western countries. And that’s not much taken into account when you look at the Family Tax Credit package.

“What’s expected of women is so much more than what is expected of men so far as parenting goes.”

“In order to receive the benefit the parents need to have a certain level of employment.

If you are a single parent - and most single parents are mothers - you have to work. How do you combine that with raising the children?

And child care is really expensive or not always readily available in New Zealand in the

areas where you need it.”

Masselot says that New Zealand really needs to have a conversation about reproduction and how best to support families.

“The main thing is there should be choices for people. For me, I think we need to have this discussion and we can figure out what is important in terms of children.”

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inside this issue

From the editor Contents Writing this column is usually the last thing that I do each edition, once I know that everything else is safely filed and I have a few moments to gather my thoughts.

2 Women balancing work and family

W

ell, that moment has arrived, and I had a sudden realisation that we haven’t included a lot of Christmas content in our yearend edition. Not on purpose, not deliberately.

It just seemed that our editorial team had a wealth of other important topics to cover.

But with Christmas just around the corner, and Christmas/holiday planning occupying most of our minds, it seems remiss not to focus on it a little. Especially for me – I love Christmas! The lights, the music, the excitement of children’s faces, the holidays – it all adds up to awesome in my book.

Of course it’s not like that for everyone.

For some, it’s just become another commercial holiday and a reason for a break. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s not exactly the reason for Christmas.

Christmas is about family, I hear a lot of people say. And yes, it’s a wonderful time to gather together and spend some quality time enjoying each other’s company. But family is not the reason for Christmas either.

My mother frequently laments that when she goes to buy Christmas decorations that she can find Santa and his reindeer - and oddly enough this season, owls - but she can’t find nativity characters for love or money. That seems peculiar to me, given that I lived 10 minutes from the Church of the Nativity in

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Features More is expected of women parents than men, says UC assistant professor.

5 Bethlehem for almost four years, and pilgrims from all around the world would queue up there to see the place where Jesus was born.

Now as Kiwis, we pride ourselves on calling a spade a spade. So whether you believe the nativity story or not, it is the primary reason for the holiday that we now call Christmas, and for someone who has a very soft spot for Bethlehem, I think it’s important that our kids are aware of the holiday’s true meaning, as well as all the other Christmas traditions we have invented over the years.

I know these days that we are supposed to be politically correct and say “Happy Holidays” and I truly do wish everybody happy holidays – be it Christmas, Hanukkah, Eid or something else. But I’m still going to say Merry Christmas.

Because that’s what it is.

So from myself and the whole team here at Family Times, we wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Enjoy.

14 Online ante-natal classes

Antenatal education in the digital age.

Parenting expert Diane Levy answers your parenting questions.

15 Words of Wisdom 15 Sun smart

Keep your family sun-smart around the water this summer.

5 Parenting kids with different capabilities

16 DOC Virtual Great Walker Competition

6 How to stalk your kids

16 Next generation of ecowarriors

John Cowan from The Parenting Place shares his advice on the topic.

Step into your child’s online world and beat them at their own game.

8 Multiple births

Sure, they’re cute – but how do you physically manage twins, triplets, or more?

Explore New Zealand’s great walkways virtually and be in to win.

Green Kiwis are graduating from Enviroschools.

17 Children and depression

Is your child going through life’s natural ups and downs, or is it more?

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8 What works for my family

We ask Family Times readers about technology, family meals and child-free holidays.

9 Beating bedtime battles

Consistency is the key to sleep time dramas.

9 Top 10 tips on how to talk to your kids about art

Bring out the art critic in your child with these insightful questions about art.

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Kids Corner 10 Kids’ corner

Competitions, games and reviews.

Resource information 4 12 13 13

www.WellingtonPlaycentre.org.nz

Spirit of Christmas Calendar of events Entertainment School Term Dates

About Us Publisher Robyn Willis Design & Production Moody Shokry Advert Production Target Press Production Office Editor Vanessa O’Brien Digital editor Rochelle Savage

Media Executives Shona Robb, Nicky, Barnett, Katie Morgan, Naomh Cusin, Penny Leary, Olwyn Knowler Office Manager Raelyn hay Office Assistant Jackie Pithie

Contributing Writers Marcia Johnson, Diane Levy

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Spirit of Christmas It’s that time of year to deck the halls and get into all the wonderful festivities that the Christmas season has to offer. Looking for some Christmas activities and events? Here are a few in your area to get you started: Kmart Wishing Tree Appeal This year the Appeal aims to collect more than 45,000 gifts that will be distributed by The Salvation Army to families that might otherwise go without. Simply purchase a gift of your choice, collect a gift tag from any Kmart store and place it under the tree.

Begins 13 November.

Christmas Tree Festival

The Jimmy Café at St James Theatre hosts an array of Christmas Trees, decorated and sponsored by local businesses. Vote for your favourite tree and buy a Christmas bauble to support Cystic Fibrosis sufferers. From 1-6 December, 10am-6pm.

The Great KidsCan Santa Run/Walk A major fundraiser for KidsCan, the Santa Run concept is simple - a 2-3km fun run/ walk in a Santa suit! On 3 December, 6.30pm, Wellington waterfront. Visit www. lacticturkey.co.nz.

Cantatas and Carols

The Bach Choir of Wellington presents two

Bach cantatas and a selection of Christmas carols. A joyful concert suitable for all ages. At St Joseph’s Church, Mount Victoria. Tickets: 0800 BUY TIX (289 849).

Wellington Underground Christmas Markets

Get those last minute Christmas presents and festive entertainment. There will be snow, games, carols and a chance to meet Santa. On 6, 7, 13, 14, 20, 21 December, 10am – 4pm, Frank Kitts Underground Carpark.

NZSO 2014: Messiah

Handel’s triumphant Messiah captures the essence of the festive season. Traditionally performed at Christmas time, this awe-inspiring oratorio has moments of rare beauty.

At the Michael Fowler Centre, 13 December, 6:30pm. Tickets: 0800-842-538.

Mary’s Christmas

The nativity story, seen through the eyes of Mary. All profits from the show are going to Women’s Refuge. Newtown Cultural Community Centre, 16-17 December, 8pm. Phone 0800 BUY TIX (289 849).

Christmas in the Hutt

Kick off at 6pm on 6 December with a selection of top notch performances from schools, community groups, and organisations before the main show at 7.30pm. A spectacular fireworks finale will round out the evening at 9.30pm.

Christmas drive-in movie Pull your car up for the Christmas special movie Home Alone 2. Tickets are just $30/ car (up to eight people). At Firefly Cinemas, Trentham Racecourse, movie starts 9pm.

Kids pop the first gifts under the Kmart Wishing Tree Appeal.

Plimmerton Christmas By The Beach A fun, free, family night out on 6 December from 3.30pm at Plimmerton School. Bring your picnic blanket or deck chair and enjoy the music, the carols and the atmosphere.

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Johnsonville Lions Christmas Parade

Saturday 6 December, 11am. The 2014 parade is set to be another outstanding success for the children of the Northern Suburbs and our community.

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Parenting kids with different capabilities The Parenting Place creative producer/presenter John Cowan talks to Family Times about how to raise kids of different abilities.

Do parents tend to rate their kids based on their abilities?

“Inevitably that’s going to be the case. I think in general, most parents are aware that favouritism and rating is an incredibly negative thing: nothing feels as bad as believing that you are the least-loved child. But I think that it’s inevitable that parents will have a sense of their kids’ abilities, and the interesting thing is that the kids themselves are very conscious of their siblings’ abilities. Children with siblings that have a disability become very aware of this and very defensive and sometimes compensate or feel guilty for that.”

Is it a problem for siblings to play down their abilities to compensate for their less talented brothers or sister? Like perhaps handing a report card to their parents secretly?

“I think it’s actually quite a nice thing that brothers and sisters do. I’m sure that it’s not universally true but I do know that it happens.”

What kinds of abilities are perceived to be more important than others?

“I think parents are probably – now this is off the top of my head and not based on research – quite accepting of their kids having a wide range of academic and sporting abilities. The

thing that I think irritates them most is there are just as bigger variations in social ability.

Some kids are relaxed and funny and poised, and other kids are awkward, and I tend to think that parents tolerate that less well than the variations in academic and physical ability. If your kid is a bit rude, a bit forward or impatient, parents I think are much less willing to tolerate that probably because in our minds we don’t see that as ability, we see it as character and I think that’s sad. It is an area of giftedness and training.”

Do you think that every child has a talent or a gift?

“Probably a measure of this is almost a statement of faith: I believe that every child is a gifted child, even those children who have learning disabilities and developmental problems, they’ll have some ability that when discovered and polished up gives that child the ability to experience that sense of excelling.”

How can parents bring out the best in all of their kids?

One way is to allow them to try a bouquet of different things, especially during their primary school years. Try a whole range of crafts and sports and social outlets and those kinds of things. Some things may crash, and other things they may discover that they’re really good at. But you have to be bad at something for a while before you find out that you’re good at it.

The other thing is not to shackle your child with your own desire to have been a ballet dancer, an All Black or a helicopter pilot or something like that. I can remember my child,

my boy when he was 13, helping him get the money together for a course of flying lessons.

He did the course of flying lessons - he did 10 - he quite enjoyed it but he decided not to carry on with it. And I thought, “Why doesn’t he want to carry on with it? Isn’t this his dream?” But really it was my dream. I think we do this a lot.

How can parents make kids who are not excelling as much feel equally loved and valued?

Some people think, “Should we not celebrate the gifted child, because won’t that make the less gifted child feel worse?” I think you do celebrate the achievements of the gifted child, but you work extra hard to discover those areas where the other child excels as well.

Also, you do things like celebrate progress; you celebrate effort instead of just raw achievement. In fact, there’s some research that shows that there’s a huge difference between celebrating natural ability and celebrating effort. If you just celebrate and complement a child on their natural ability; their looks, their intelligence, their natural athletic ability, then that’s basically saying that what you’ve been dealt in life is your lot, and those kids with natural ability who hit some kind of obstacle think “well that’s what I’ve been dealt, I can’t do any better than that.”

Whereas, kids who have had their efforts celebrated rather than their natural abilities, they think, “I can tackle this. I can roll my sleeves up and work even harder.”

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feature story

How to stalk your kids Warning: parents; don’t let your kids read this article.

This is for you: stalking 101.

O

nce it was easy. Stalking your kids meant an old-fashioned stake out, a covert room search or classic eavesdropping on private phone conversations. Your greatest asset was your intuition, and your greatest weapon your resourcefulness. Alas, today’s parents are faced with a vast terrain of unchartered online territory, full of pitfalls and traps. How can you protect your kids when you are a stranger in a strange land?

Parents’ greatest worries when it came to the internet were predators said NetSafe development manager Chris Hails.

“The number one concern for most parents is, “Who are my kids speaking to online, what are their motivations if they don’t know them in real life, and can they be trusted to be who they say they are?”” Hails said.

And that’s fair call. There is a reason why there are TV shows that are set up as “sting operations” to catch predators who use social media to get to kids.

Privacy vs. duty of care

But do parents have a legal or an ethical right to invade their child’s privacy? After all, there’s always a sneaking sense of guilt when operating manual stalking operations like eavesdropping or room searching, so is it okay to stalk your kids online?

“It’s a trade-off between the right of the child to privacy and the right and the duty of the parent to parent basically. I think what we tend to say is that the parent’s responsibility

to safeguard and to keep the child safe from harm pretty much trumps the child’s right to privacy,” said Hails.

And when it comes to internet safety, he added, the price of failure is too high.

“Digital citizenship is essentially a culture of responsibility in young people’s online behaviour.”

To stalk or not to stalk

Lots of families set up rules so that if the kids have a social media account, the parents have the passwords, otherwise the kids can’t use the computer. That’s in a perfect world of course. When then doesn’t work, or it’s already too late for that, some undercover parents set up a covert online profile and follow their kids on Twitter or “friend” them on Facebook.

Short of that there are plenty of online monitoring apps and programmes that you can install on your child’s phone or computer to control how much time they can spend online, which sites they can visit and the content of any text messages and emails.

However, no filter or site-blocking software is foolproof, and Hails says that they are not ideally used covertly, as monitoring without consultation can have the reverse effect of that desired.

“What we tend to encourage is that if you are going to go down the filtering or the monitoring route, make sure that that is backed up by a conversation.”

And stalking can backfire.

“If you start out trying to police what they’re doing, and they feel that they are being spied upon, what can happen is that the kids will go out and buy another mobile phone, or they’ll go around to a friend’s place and jump on the internet there, and they’ll end up sort of creating a second profile.”

Instead, NetSafe encourages all parents to

have an open and honest conversation with their children about what they are doing online and who they are talking to, and the earlier the better. That way if their kids have issues or concerns about behaviour or messages that they are receiving, they have an open door to talk to their parents.

“Make sure that you talk to them in a fairly frank and trustworthy way so that you don’t overreact and freak them out and they think “I’ll never tell Mum or Dad about that again, they’ll just freak out and take my phone away or they’ll stop me using the internet.”

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feature story Age appropriate stalking

despite the fact that the sites’ age restriction is 13-years. Added to that is that most For younger kids, filtering and monitoring intermediate age children have a cell phone is a good step when done in tandem with that often has internet access. So early those conversations, says Hails. He suggests education is the key. a family safety contract, in which online NetSafe teaches digital citizenship in schools. time is monitored and limited, and an open Digital citizenship, explains Hails, is essentially atmosphere is created. a culture of responsibility in young people’s As the kids gets get older, they instinctively online behaviour. It covers things like bullying, desire more independence. But just like ethics, and an inbuilt sense of what they teaching other safety rules like crossing should do. It’s about treating people online the road and not getting into the car with strangers, there comes a time when you have the same way that you would in the real world – and that includes stranger danger. to trust their responsibility.

For older kids, it also includes talking about “Young people as they develop want privacy, their digital footprint. As the latest Snapchat but as a parent you’ve still got a duty of care. saga of celebrities’ leaked personal photos has So if you’ve created a trusting feel around emphasised, even pictures that you think are the internet and you haven’t scared your children away from talking to you, we strongly private and short-lived are stored digitally and become part of your digital footprint forever. encourage that really.”

And the same goes for personal information That’s a sentiment that our Family Times that you transmit online. readers seemed to agree with when we asked them to post on Facebook about their kids’ online usage. One respondent wrote, “The parent’s “There is an age where we need to trust our responsibility to kids to make the right decisions. I guess that age depends on many factors as some youth safeguard and to keep require more supervision/discipline than the child safe from harm others. If we start young, then they should pretty much trumps the carry on that good behaviour. If we are loose child’s right to privacy.” while they are growing up and then freak out and start putting hundreds of restrictions around them, in the teenage years we can incite them to rebellion.”

“We encourage young people not to share photos of their bodies, not to put pictures Digital citizenship of them drinking or taking drugs up online Kids are using the internet at a young age, because that becomes part of your digital says Hails – some as early as kindergarten. footprint that people can search and find.”

And a lot of primary age children use social For younger kids, even from the age that they networks like Facebook and Instagram learn to spell their own name and learn their to have an online life and social profile,

Parental control apps/software for smart phones

Android phones

Vodafone Guardian Vodafone Guardian is a free Android app for mobile customers that lets you decide who can call or text message your child, when they can use their phone and whether they can browse the web, download apps or use the camera. You can set the phone to only accept calls from friends and family, block apps like YouTube, and choose who your child can receive text messages from. Visit www.vodafone.co.nz.

Apple iOS – iPhone, iPod Touch McAfee Family Protection ($49.95) This parental control software has unique media filtering and advanced activity reports. Visit home.mcafee.com. iOS free settings Maybe your kid spends way too much time browsing the internet via Safari, uses the camera in ways that are not appropriate, or perhaps they went on a spending spree address and phone number, they need to know that the information is private and they should never give it to anybody – online or in real life – that they don’t know.

Brave new world

Perhaps the best way for parents to beat kids at their own game is to familiarise themselves with the online world, says Hails.

“Take an interest in what they do. Get them to show you what they like doing on the internet and why. The kids can teach the parents what they are doing and the games

in the App Store and you didn’t know until your credit card bill came in the mail.

Whatever the case may be, find out how to regain some parental control by enabling restrictions. Visit www.imore.com for more information.

Symbian (Nokia phones) Kaspersky Mobile Security ($29.95) You can block dangerous and phishing websites, as well as filter unwanted calls and text messages with this software. Visit www.antivirus365.net.

Windows Mobile 7 With Mobile Parental Control, you can set Windows parental controls anywhere, at anytime, via your smart phone. You can set specific log on time limits and the specific time duration, amongst other things. Visit sites.google.com/site/millicloudworkshop/ moparco for more information. You can also use this software for you PC.

that they are playing so that there’s this sense of trust and “we’re all in this together.”

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The challenge of multiple births It’s easy to peer into a pram at the supermarket and ooh and ahh over a set of adorable twins dressed in matching outfits.

W

hile we fawn over the cuteness of it all, we must admit to smiling sheepishly at the mum of multiples and wondering, how on earth does she do it? Having one baby is hard enough; it’s difficult to imagine doubling or even tripling the load.

Multiple births are on the rise in New Zealand, due in part to the increasing age of mothers and the use of fertility drugs.

According to Statistics New Zealand 1950 children were multiple births in 2007, compared with 1051 in 1977.

There is no question that raising multiples presents some unique parenting challenges.

Amanda Meikle of Halswell is mum to sixyear-old twins Liam and Aden, plus big sister Mikayla, who was just 20-months-old when the boys were born. Amanda tells how she has coped with some common twin challenges: Sleep: “We got them into a feeding routine fairly quickly, which helped us get some sleep. Generally, one would be more awake than the other at each feed, but we tried to keep them on the same schedule. You can’t demand feed with twins or you’ll be up half the night feeding them!”

Breastfeeding: “I found it quite easy as I have a lot of milk. I had a tri-pillow across my tummy and I used a rugby hold to feed them both at once. I fed them like that until four months, then I had to feed them separately because they got too big. I breast fed until five-and-a-half months.”

Sibling bonding: “They’ve always had a bond. They had twin-speak when they were really little. They would jibber jabber to each other and you couldn’t understand what they were saying, but they’d be laughing.

Sometimes they would fight over a toy but you just let them figure it out.”

Individuality: “They are very different. Liam is fast and sporty – he doesn’t sit still. Aden is a little bit more chilled. Aden has a disability, Sturge-Weber syndrome, which makes a difference. If he didn’t have that I think they’d be more alike.”

“Multiple births are on the rise in New Zealand, due in part to the increasing age of mothers and the use of fertility drugs.”

Separation anxiety: “They’re in the same class at school but don’t have the same friends. They keep an eye on each other and know where each other is. On occasion when I have to take Aden for hospital appointments overnight, Liam likes his sister to sleep in his bedroom so there’s someone else there.

Same with Aden when Liam is away.”

Support: “I had support from my mum. Also we got a nanny when I went back to work because it was easier and cheaper to keep them at home rather than putting them all into preschool.”

The hardest thing? “Juggling their wants and needs, because when one comes at you the other one comes at you. They tag team you I think. Making myself available for both

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8

of them, as well as my daughter, was the most difficult thing.”

Advice: “Get as much information as you can from people who can help you out, such as the Multiple Birth Club. Twins are definitely fun but it’s a lot of hard work. It’s the same as having one, but twice as much demand – you’ve just got to be patient. The first two years go really fast. Having a good support network and asking for help when you need it makes it a lot easier.”

Tell our advertiser you saw it in...

What works for my family We asked you - our Family Times Facebook family – all about what works for your family. Here’s what you said: Do your children have access to a tablet or iPad? We’ve been discussing apps for kids this week and would love to hear your views.

Joella Haglund: Yes. Like to think I check these apps. But I honestly don’t. Trust that one of my other daughters would tell on them. Ha. We have them turned off by 6.30pm at the latest. New rule: ask me first before going on and for how long and all up on the bench at end of the night. If you sneak it, you lose it for 24 hours.

Stella Williams: Yes, they use them for nursery rhymes, maths apps, games, movies, youtube, and while on long plane trips.

Do your children cook family meals? Or help you?

Amy Mckay: My four kids love helping me cook or me helping them.

Janet Ross: Kids always help make

homemade pizza and our 10-year-old helps Dad cook a barbeque.

Tina Barriball: They sure do, in fact my 11-year-old daughter is making bacon and egg pie tonight.

Do you ever go away with your partner or friends without your children? If so, how often and what age are your children?

Megan Kingston-Burke: Once or twice a year. Only a couple of nights usually, but once for six nights. Kids are five and nine.

Didn’t leave them until they were three.

Laura Gilogley: We have a two-and-

a-half- year-old who has sleepovers at his grandparents about once or twice a month.

He loves it! We went on a big holiday when he was 16-months for 10 days before we planned on trying for number two! It was great but missed him so much!

We now have a four-week-old so we won’t be having a night off for awhile.

Maccine Wells: Overnight is the

longest time I’ve had away from my babies, about a month ago. I’d love to have a week away without kids with partner.

Terehia Huihana Theodore:

I actually have never been out with my partner or friends. I have four girls (five, four, 20-months and 7-months) and the last time I went out with my partner was two years ago and that was for three hours.

Tashy Waashy: I went away on a New Years and my birthday for a girls’ weekend but missed my kids so much I turn down weekends away because I have more fun at home with my monkeys.

Beating bed time battles There is a page on Facebook do you want it before or after your story? is key called, “I love my kids more Routine Children of all ages respond better when than anything but WHOO they know what to expect. Make bed time enjoyable and familiar: perhaps a warm cup HOO FOR BEDTIME!”

T

hat’s parenthood in a nutshell – it can be magical and miserable, sometimes all in the same five minutes.

At the end of yet another chaotic day it is every parents’ dream to tuck their children serenely into bed before blowing a kiss and heading off to enjoy some peaceful and welldeserved adult time.

Unfortunately, kids often have other plans.

In reality, bedtime is less like a scene from a Disney movie, and more like trying to tame a loud, overtired, unreasonable, fire-breathing dragon.

Bedtime is never easy – from settling a baby, to cajoling a toddler to stay in her new “big girl bed,” to tearing an older child away from the TV – every age has its challenges.

So what can a parent do to ease bedtime battles?

Keep calm

No one can stall like a kid at bed time. When your child has asked for his third cup of water, been for his second trip to the toilet, and now wants you to find the lost teddy he can’t possibly sleep without, it’s easy to lose your cool. Try to be firm but fair. Don’t get frustrated when he wants another glass of water. Include his bed time distractions in your routine so he can’t use them to procrastinate. Use limits and stick to them, but offer choice – you can choose one teddy to sleep with, which one would you like? Or, you can have one glass of water at bed time,

of milk, followed by bath, toilet, then settling into bed for a story and a cuddle.

Singing a favourite song together each night is a great way to signal lights-out for toddlers.

If he hops out of bed, calmly but consistently keep putting him back. You might do this a hundred times, but don’t give up - consistency will pay off in the long run.

Older children benefit from a few minutes of wind-down time, either reading or a doing a quiet activity, to get their eye-lids dragging.

Put a clock in their bedroom to exert some independence over time-keeping.

Bed time tantrums

Bed time tantrums arise from fatigue. The best way to avoid them is to keep bed times regular – and ensure they go to sleep before over-tiredness kicks in.

It is impossible to rationalise with your child when she is in melt-down mode. The best solution is to leave her in a safe place – ideally a cot or bedroom – and leave her to cry it out for a few minutes. Throwing a tantrum is hard work; when you return, she might well be ready to drift off now after a nose-blow and a cuddle. Remember the best thing about parenthood is that no battle lasts forever. Just when you think you don’t have the willpower to wrestle your toddler into bed one more time, suddenly she’ll conform – but next she’ll start demanding ice-cream for breakfast at 5am. Whoohoo for bedtime!

Bring out the art critic in your child Helen Lloyd, senior education 6 When looking at a portrait, imagine what it would be like to speak to the programmer at Te Papa, says person. What might they say? What are it’s important to remember they thinking or feeling? Describe what type of person they might be. that there are no right or 7 When looking at a landscape, imagine wrong answers when looking that you can step inside the painting and take a journey inside it. What could you at art. We each gain a different touch? What would it feel like? What meaning from every work. might you hear, taste and smell? Explore

1 Begin by asking children to describe

Both adults and children can suffer with crippling heel pain. Expert help is available at Active Feet Podiatry. In adults, the most common cause for this pain is a strain to a structure known as the plantar fascia. In children aged 11 to 14-years it is usually an irritation to a growth plate in the calcaneus or heel bone. This condition is known as

Sever’s disease. Dr Halpine can prescribe exercises and fit orthotic devices to give relief to both these groups of sufferers. Call Active Feet Podiatry to get an appointment.

Its offices are conveniently located at level two, 85 The Terrace, Wellington, and at the Ngaio Medical Centre. Phone 04-473-8696 or visit wwwActiveFeetPodiatry.com.

Family Family Footcar e

Dr. Tim Halpine Caring for your feet.

Services we offer include: • Sports injuries B OOK • Children’s foot issues AN AP • Verrucae PT • Skin and TODA Y nail problems • Orthotic Services

8 For artworks that suggest a narrative,

what they see: the shapes, colours, objects, textures and people.

2 Think: How does it make you feel? What do you like best about it?

An end to painful heels!

every part of the picture, including the parts you can’t see. Go inside houses, climb hills, look beyond the frame and around the corner.

H

owever, there are some questions that you can ask children when visiting an art gallery to help them engage with the artworks.

3 Ask children to imagine how the artist

imagine the artwork as a still from a movie, or a picture in a story book.

What happened before the picture, and what might happen next?

9 With abstract works, ask what the

artist may have started and where they may have finished.

shapes and colours remind you of. What might they be? If they could move, how would they move, or if they could make sounds, what would they be like? If you could step inside, where would you go?

What would you do? What does it feel like in the artwork?

thing to the artwork, what would they add, where would it be and why? And how would that change the artwork?

they wonder about the artwork, and if they could ask the artist a question, what might it be and what might they say?

may have made the work. What tools or equipment may have been used?

4 Children can think about where the

5 You can ask them if they could add some- 10 It’s always good to ask children what

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Active Feet Podiatry Level 2, 85 The Terrace, Wellington Phone: 04 473 8696

www.activefeetpodiatry.com

Times can vary depending on traffic conditions. For Off Peak Schedules, please check timetables online.

www.familytimes.co.nz

9

win win win

WIN Alexander and the Terrib le, Horrib le, No G ood, Very B ad Day, – prize packs Disney’s Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day follows 11-year-old Alexander (Ed Oxenbould) as he experiences the most terrible and horrible day of his young life.

He soon learns that he’s not alone when his mum (Jennifer Garner), dad (Steve Carell), brother (Dylan Minnette) and sister (Kerris Dorsey) all find themselves living through their own terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. We have 8 prize packs containing a T-shirt, cup, bookmark, notebook, door hanger, stressball and a family pass (4 tickets). In Cinemas 4 December. This competition ends 15 December 2014.

Enter online at www.familytimes.co.nz.

Win Paddington prize packs

Kids Time Welcome to Kids’ Time at Family Times. Enjoy the fun activities and competitions. For competitions, enter online by visiting www.familytimes. co.nz and click on the competitions link.

Looking for some rainy day activities for your children? Click on the For Kids section on our website for answers and for further activities your children can print out and complete.

Search - a- word

win win win

A young Peruvian bear with a passion for all things British travels to London in search of a home. Finding himself lost and alone at Paddington Station, he begins to realise that city life is not all he had imagined - until he meets the kindly Brown family, who read the label around his neck (“Please look after this bear.

Thank you.”) and offer him a temporary haven. In Cinemas 18 December.

We have 4 Paddington prize packs to give away with tickets and other goodies. This competition ends 15 December 2014 . Enter online at www.familytimes.co.nz.

spot difference Spot the the Difference

Can you you spot spot the the eight eight differences between these two two pictures? pictures?

Candifferences you spotbetween differences Can these

win win win

WIN with Disney’s Big Hero 6 – prize packs To celebrate the upcoming release of Disney’s Big Hero 6 on 26 December, Walt Disney Studios has 5 x prize packs to give away.

Each prize pack contains the following items: A double pass to Disney’s Big Hero 6 valid from 26 December 2014 at any participating cinema A Shimmer sticker set A Collector cards set A Keychain A Folding cube A Plastic pouch A Lenticular notebook A Kid’s T-shirt This competition ends 15 December 2014 . Enter online at www.familytimes.co.nz.

© Lovatts Puzzles © Lovatts Puzzles

win win win Win The Jacq u eline Wilson Christmas Cr acker The Jacqueline Wilson Christmas Cracker is packed with brilliant Christmas stories, including a brand-new tale from Jacqueline, and classic favourite starring Tracy Beaker in which Jacqueline’s most famous heroine gets the lead part in her Christmas play!

There are festive puzzles, tasty Christmas recipes, perfect present tips, and fun Christmas facts. This competition ends 1 February 2015. Enter online at www. familytimes.co.nz.

10

www.familytimes.co.nz

Spot The Difference - Cartoon Spot The Difference Cartoon WIN and -st yle like spotDiff_033_Beach.eps spotDiff_033_Beach.eps © Lovatts Puzzles © Lovatts Puzzles Minnie!

win win win

1. Sunbather missing, 2. Girl’s hat different, 3. Floatie missing eyes,

1. Sunbather missing, 2.will Girl’skeep hat different, 3. Floatie missing eyes, Minnie’s beauty cases all5.the 4. Flower missing from girl’s costume, Beach ball missing, 6. Stripe on boy’s costume, 4. Flower missing from girl’s costume, 5. Beach ball missing, 6. Stripe on boy’s costume, 7. Spade longer, 8. Flag onentertained! sandcastle bigger. young ladies stylish and 7. Spade longer, 8. Flag on sandcastle bigger.

They’ll be straightening, curling, styling and accessorising their way to perfect hair. The perfect fun-filled afternoon with a bestie!

Thanks to Holdson we have three Minnie Beauty Cases to giveaway. RRP $57.

Available from www.holdson.com. This competition ends 1 February 2015.

Enter online at www.familytimes.co.nz.

win win win

Ma z e

Win B rother’s L14 sewing machine Brother’s L14 sewing machine is exceptionally easy to use. Built-in are 14 utility and decorative stitches and an automatic 4-step buttonhole maker in a compact, lightweight sewing machine.

Whether you want to make stylish clothes or craft a beautiful home décor project, Brother is at your side to help. We have one Brother L14 to give away, valued at $179.95. This competition ends 1 February 2015. Enter online at www. familytimes.co.nz

win win win

Win The Dinosau r That series Read along with Tom and Dougie as Danny and Dinosaur make history in their third adventure, The Dinosaur That Pooped The Past. When they accidently go back through history on a time-travelling swing, Danny and Dinosaur meet some new dino friends. We have three The Dinosaur That…giveaway packs with a copy of each from the series (three in total).This competition ends 1 February 2015.

Enter online at www.familytimes.co.nz.

Desig n com petition Design a tent or treehouse for you or your family to live in and then describe it. Send us your picture and be in to win an amazing $50 prize pack from Crayola! Three entry age groups: preschool (age 1-4), 5-8, 9-12. Create your design on an A5 sheet or download the template and entry form from www.familytimes. co.nz. Post in to PO Box 36 004, Christchurch 8146. Entries close 1 February 2015.

Congratulations to our competition winners from our last issue. They are: 1-4 Madelynn Seaton-Payne (Age 3 ½) “This is Spotty Spot. She had a fruit salad hat and flowers for hands, and her clothes have flowers too. She’s my teddy.”

5-8 Cameron Bell (Age 5) “This is my dad wearing a cucumber shirt, carrot pants and a tomato belt. He has kale hair and a banana mouth. The sun is a sunflower.”

9-12 Sophie (Age 10) “My dress has: sunflowers, poppy, carrots, peas, rose, bluebell, purple loosestrife, potatoes, foxglove, broccoli, pickle, tulip, pumpkin, egg plant, tomato, lettuce, flowers, ivy, daisy.”

Please visit www.familytimes.co.nz to view the winning entries.

Win Billie G oat Soap

Win A Treasu ry of NZ Poems for Childr en The best New Zealand poems for children, collected by highly-regarded New Zealand poet Paula Green and illustrated inventively

by Jenny Cooper. This lively collection is truly a must-have for every home, school and library. Bursting with wonderful poems that will make you laugh, cry and ponder, A Treasury of NZ Poems for Children is beautifully illustrated and makes a perfect gift book. With poems by all the big names in both children’s and adult’s writing, as well as some fresh new poets, it will captivate readers both young and old . We have five copies to give away. This competition ends 1 February 2015. Enter online at www.familytimes.co.nz.

win win win

win win win

Win SodaStr eam Pl ay

Billie Goat Soap has discovered the benefits of goats’ milk and olive oil, and created a range of natural, affordable and effective skincare for every family member, young and old. Beginning with one revolutionary bar of soap, all Billie Goat Soap products are perfect for use on sensitive skin types, while also helping to relieve symptoms for those prone to eczema, psoriasis and dermatitis. We have a prize pack worth more than $200 to give away. This competition ends 1 February 2015.

Enter online at www.familytimes.co.nz.

Win Opal Plumstead

by Jacq u eline Wilson Opal Plumstead might be plain, but she has always been fiercely intelligent. Yet her scholarship and dreams of university are snatched away when her father is sent to prison, and 14-year-old Opal must start work at the Fairy Glen sweet factory to support her family. This is a brilliantly gripping new story from the bestselling, award-winning Jacqueline Wilson. This competition ends 1 February 2015.

Enter online at www.familytimes.co.nz.

win win win

Make water more exciting with the brand new SodaStream Play! It will have the whole family bubbling with ideas, and is available in black, yellow, red, blue and white from Farmers, Briscoes, Noel Leeming, The Warehouse and other stockists of SodaStream, RRP $139.99.

Visit www.facebook.com/SodaStreamNZ. This competition ends 1 February 2015.

Enter online at www.familytimes.co.nz.

win win win

Win a Mustel a B each Set

win win win

Mustela, the experts in skincare for babies, are giving away the perfect summer time companion: A Mustela Beach Set, which includes the Mustela High Protection Sunscreen in SPF50+. With ingredients such as Aloe Vera and soy phytosterols rich in Vitamin E, your baby’s skin is not only protected but rejuvenated. This competition ends 1 February 2015.

Enter online at www.familytimes.co.nz. www.familytimes.co.nz

11

cool activities

Calendar of Events Summer is here, and it’s time to get excited about all that the new season has to offer. For more event and entertainment ideas, visit www.familytimes.co.nz and enjoy our large, familyfriendly resource.

5-6 December

Wellington International Ukulele Orchestra. Celebrate the long-anticipated new album, Be Mine Tonight, a winning collection of beloved Kiwi tunes made even more singalongable thanks to the band’s uniquely irresistible ukulele style. Ukulele.co.nz.

5-6 December

Miramar North School 75th Jubilee.

Join us for a weekend reminiscing over old times and celebrating the 75-year journey of Miramar North School. Registration $25, phone 04-388-6657.

6 December

20 December

Ocean Sports Open Day. Have a go at ocean sports for only $5. Available sports include sailing, waka ama, kayaking, windsurfing and stand up paddle board. From 10am-1pm, 115 Oriental Parade.

10 January

Films By Starlight presented by Hutt City Council. Bring the family down to Fraser Park at 9pm for The Lion King. This film is free.

Please bring low chairs. No dogs allowed.

16-18 January

Wings Over Wairarapa. Get up close and personal with WWI and WWII planes, contemporary aircraft and the future of aviation.

The aerobatic displays and on-the-ground entertainment is continuous. Visit wings.org. nz, phone 0800-224-224.

18 January

Capitale E Scavenger Hunt. Thousands of eager participants will fill Wellington’s waterfront to crack clues, solve mysteries and win some great prizes at Capital E’s Scavenger Hunt. Visit www.capitale.org.nz for more details.

The Muppet Movie 35th Anniversary. Join Capital E and Square Eyes as we celebrate 17 January this beloved film, free of charge at Capital E, 4 Beach Football. Come see the Wellington Queens Wharf. Bookings 04-913-740. beach football tournament. Team entry is open to anyone - please visit www.

7 December beachfootball.co.nz to register a team. On at Thorndon Fair. Wellington’s iconic street Oriental Bay Beach, 9am-5pm. fair. More than 20,000 people and 250 stallholders. Entry is by gold coin donation 6-7 February all fundraising is for Thorndon School. From Sevens Wellington. Sevens Wellington, 10am - 3pm, Tinakori Rd and Hill Street. fourth on the HSBC Sevens World Series, will see 16 of the world’s top Sevens rugby nations

The dragon welcomes in the New Year at the Chinese New year Festival. battle it out at Westpac Stadium. From 11am.

Tickets: 0800 TICKETEK.

28 February

Ocean Sports Open Day. Have a go at ocean sports for only $5. Available sports include sailing, waka ama, kayaking, windsurfing and stand up paddle board. From 10am-1pm, 115 Oriental Parade.

5 March 2015

Sport Wellington Buggy Walk. Free event occurring on the first Thursday of each month on buggy-friendly tracks around the greater Wellington Region. Visit www.buggywalk.co.nz.

8 March

Newtown Festival Fair Day. Visitors at the street fair can again expect the pleasure of a ROGER HALL’S

Red Riding H ood

PLIMMERTON

SCHOOL OF Natalie Gianoutsos Principal Teacher / Director

varied programme of music and dance, activities for children, and a bazaar of handcrafts and stalls. From 9.30am – 10pm.

13-14 March

South East Asian Night Market. Bring all the family to sample the exciting sounds and spicy aromas of the fifth Southeast Asian Night Market sprawling along the Wellington waterfront. From 4pm. Visit www.asianz.org.nz.

14-15 March

NZCT Wellington Dragon Boat Festival.

Witness the fun and spectacle of the paddlers going hard out on the water. This is a free spectator event. At Frank Kitts Park, Jervois Quay, from 9am.

Tell our advertiser you saw it in...

T H E PA N TO M I M E

New Zealand Classes for all levels of dancing, from Pre-school to Adults

HIP HOP • TAP • JAZZ BALLET • CONTEMPORARY VISIT OUR BRAND NEW STUDIO Unit 2, 9 Northpoint St, Plimmerton Tel: 04 234 6284 Mob: 021 119 0659

An invitation to all girls aged 5 to 18...

SONGS BY PAUL JENDEN AND MICHAEL NICHOLAS WILLIAMS DIRECTED BY SUSAN WILSON

15 NOV–21 DEC & 2–10 JAN

Come join the fun & friendship at any of our nationwide locations.

www.girlsbrigade.org.nz E-mail: info@girlsbrigade.org.nz

What a big l smile you’l ! have the child-friendly vineyard restaurant by the ocean See our website for opening days & hours www.clearviewestate.co.nz

Tues to Sat 6.30pm, Sun 4pm Extra Matinees – Sat 6, 13, 20 Dec – 2pm BOOKINGS | 801 7992 www.circa.co.nz

CLEARVIEW ESTATE

194 CLIFTON RD, TE AWANGA, HASTINGS

PHONE: 06-875 0150 enquiries@clearviewestate.co.nz

Summer holiday

big screen

boredom busters There are some fantastic movies showing on our screens this holiday period.

There is something for everyone...

Coastlands, Paraparaumu Info Hotline: 298 6175 www.dtcoastlands.co.nz 12

www.familytimes.co.nz

Calling keen young singers 8-14 years old to join Wellington’s regional children’s choir Holiday specials in our Candy Bar with combos starting at $6.50

■ Led by experienced conductors and vocal tutors ■ Rehearsing Mondays, 4-6pm, in Central Wellington ■ A variety of exciting performance opportunities in 2015 ■ Come along to an obligation-free rehearsal

Visit our website for more information and a registration form. www.wellingtonyoungvoices.org.nz

cool activities

Entertainment Summer is in the air, and with it your own trip with up to 16 return harbour crossings daily. View the timetable and details comes all the fun activities that at www.eastbywest.co.nz. the new season has to offer.

Karori Pool Indoors or out, there’s plenty Come along and enjoy Karori Pool’s 25m to keep your family entertained heated indoor pool – warm, whatever the weather! Plus a learners’ pool with water this season. Here are a few features, toddlers’ pool, spa pool, 30m ideas to get you started, and hydroslide and more. Visit karori.pool@wcc. govt.nz. we’ve got heaps more at www.familytimes.co.nz.

Holiday specials

Staglands Staglands Wildlife Reserve offers visitors the unique opportunity to feed and freely interact with wildlife in a natural environment. Open daily. Visit www.staglands.co.nz.

Wellington Zoo Spend a year at Wellington Zoo with a Zoo Crew Membership—starting from just $39 for kids! You’ll also get special discounts too. Find out more at Wellingtonzoo.com/ zoocrew.

Wellington Young Voices Come along to a free rehearsal Mondays 4-6pm. A variety of exciting performance opportunities in 2015. Registration form and more information at www. wellingtonyoungvoices.co.nz.

Round Harbour Explorer

Here are some great holiday ideas designed to keep you and your little ones entertained during the school break.

Staglands Get off the beaten track with free off-road tractor-trailer rides for everyone. Available weekends and school holidays (weather permitting, until further notice) Open daily.

Visit www.staglands.co.nz.

Roger Hall’s Red Riding Hood the Pantomime

Get into the spirit of the season and join Red Riding Hood at Circa for a unique blend of laughter, comedy, costume and songs. Open 15 November. Visit www.circa.co.nz.

See Wellington on board a Round Harbour Explorer tour these holidays, or make up

2015 primary and intermediate school term dates

2015 secondary and composite school term dates

SCHOOL TERM DATES

Between Monday 2 February and Thursday 5 February to Thursday 2 April

Term 2, 2015

Monday 20 April to Friday 3 July

Term 3, 2015

Monday 20 July to Friday 25 September

25 December 26 December

Monday 12 October to no later than Friday 18 December

completed destination and, at the end of the hunt, is automatically entered in the draw to win the ultimate prize pack.

Celebrating all things Wellington, scavengers are encouraged to dress up as something beginning with the letter W for the annual best dressed parade.

Throughout December, Capital E Central will transform into Wishful Woodland for a goodwill extravaganza, with the fantastic charity, Foster Hope. You’ll find plenty to do and explore in this festive wonderland complete with Christmas “giving” trees, a magical way to donate everyday items to Foster Hope.

Wishful Woodland is open Monday-Saturday from 1 to 24 December at E Central, 4 Queens Wharf; entry is free of charge.

Visit www.capitale.org.nz for more details.

Christmas Day Boxing Day

sunday 18 january

Karori Pool

10am-4pm wellington waterfront • 25 metre pool

• Aqua fitness classes • Toddler pool

CSWCC99045

It’s Scavengers at the ready for Wellington’s Anniversary Weekend.

Ice cream taste testing, alien invaders, snorkel whispers and a banana piano were just some of the madcap challenges facing scavengers in the 2014 hunt. More than 2000 eager participants filled Wellington’s waterfront to crack clues, solve mysteries and win some great prizes. This anniversary weekend on Sunday 18 January, the exciting day out returns.

“Families can look forward to all the favourite Scavenger Hunt festivities, now in its sixth year and part of Wellington’s Summer City programme,” says Capital E director Stuart Grant.

Every clue solved leads to a popular waterfront attraction where mental, physical or downright hair-brained activities await. A unique stamp is added to each successfully

Remaining public holidays 2014

Term 4, 2015

• Birthday parties

Capital E

Term 1, 2015 Between Monday 2 February and Thursday 5 February to Thursday 2 April Term 2, 2015 Monday 20 April to Friday 3 July Term 3, 2015 Monday 20 July to Friday 25 September Term 4, 2015 Monday 12 October to no later than Wednesday 16 December

Term 1, 2015

• Hydroslide

Cruise the harbour with up to nine scheduled return ferry sailings daily between Wellington city and Eastbourne.

• Spa

22 Donald street, Karori Phone 476 8090, Wellington.govt.nz

download your map from www.capitale.org.nz or pick one up on the day

wet weather day monday 19 january

04 913 3740 www.capitale.org.nz

Principal funder

CAPITAL E IS A WELLINGTON MUSEUMS TRUST FACILITY

www.familytimes.co.nz

13

baby & toddler

Antenatal classes for the digital age We live in a digital age, where there isn’t much that can’t be found or done online. Now for the first time in New Zealand, it’s even possible to attend your antenatal classes online.

video platform such as Google Face Time to participate in an interactive session run by a facilitator. All participants can see and talk to each other and the facilitator during the sessions.

Rosemary Joyce, owner and operator of The Birthing Room which runs the classes, is a registered nurse, childbirth educator and a Doula birth companion student.

She says BirthWorks online antenatal classes are empowering, holistic and transforming, f you live in a rural location, have increasing self confidence, trust and faith in a transportation issues, pregnancy woman’s ability to give birth. complications, or simply a busy lifestyle, “If you’re in a rural location, it provides BirthWorks online antenatal classes offer a an antenatal education you’d never get viable alternative to traditional classes. otherwise. You can learn from others’ Perhaps you are a kiwi ex-pat living experiences. You can have world-leading overseas and want a New Zealand antenatal childbirth education. Even if it’s not provided education, or are returning home to birth in your area, it means you don’t miss out. your baby? BirthWorks is for you, too.

Same also if you’re busy and work a lot of The six week classes combine one hour a hours.” week of self-directed learning with a second Flexibility is key, with participants agreeing hour of shared screen time. to a time that suits all for the interactive You can watch the lecture sessions in your sessions. own time, from the comfort of your own A new course begins every six weeks. home.

To enrol you need a broadband internet Then in small groups, couples use an online connection, and a computer with a microphone, speakers and a webcam. way anyway. It’s not something that can’t be Rosemary says the intimate size of the Visit Rangimarie overcome.” groups, five couples or less, is an advantage BirthWorks online antenatal classes began from traditional larger antenatal classes.

Montessori Children’s Jenny wasn’t sure she had enough milk “Online antenatal courses are a great step in two months ago. It provides quality antenatal for her new baby. Liam was feeding a lot education based on evidence-based research, ensuring quality antenatal education for all House more than she expected him to. She was helping couples to prepare physically, New Zealanders, where location, transport delighted when her friend gave her a copy Why Montessori preschool education? and spiritually for childbirth and babysitting would have previously inemotionally This is aorproof forissues your advertisement the next issue of Tots to Teens magazine –M please respond to it by of the La Leche League magazine, Aroha.

Visit R angimarie ontessori Children’s parenting. inhibited this.”

It had mothers’ stories that reassuredemail her H ouse to see the M ontessori immediately advising advertisement is approved for print OR advising ofphilosophy any changes.

Rosemary advises registering as early in One of the challenges of online EITHER learning is your that frequent breastfeeding was normal in action. The children learn in a pregnancy as possible, if not pre-pregnancy. that the other participants may not live in and a great way to keep up her milk beautiful indoor and outdoor setting, your immediate area, making it difficult to supply. Jenny decided to subscribe and immersing themselves in an environment catch up for the traditional weekly coffee get Aroha every two months. You can that enables them to learn when they group once the babies are born. too – visit lalecheleague.org.nz/aroha or are ready. They experience activities But Rosemary says most people are happy to lalecheleague.org.nz/membership. holistically through specially designed use digital means of keeping in touch, such as Montessori materials. L anguage, reading, Facebook. “A lot of people are doing it that maths, science, art, music and physical development are offered to children Gubb’s have been selling children’s shoes Te Kohanga Reo o Awhina Te Kahui who are ready to begin them. The staff for 20 years now, so they know that kids Colours those shown for all ads printed on newsprint. aim to provide a peaceful and calm Nohinohi may vary fromcan give their shoes a real hammering. space children to develop their For this reason, they nowplease concentrate on Thank you for your assistance, if you have any queries phone yourfor Tots to Teens consultant or own interests. G ive your child this the sturdy children’s range made by our Auckland ce on 09T-bars, 412 5123. exceptional opportunity to achieve their McKinlays ofoffi Dunedin.

These potential. Visit www.rmch.co.nz for more sandals, velcro shoes and ankle boots information. are unbeatable, and they’re offered in a Breastfeeding support fantastic range of colours. For the first in many ways walkers/preschoolers, Gubbs carry the Nau Mai Haere Mai full Bobux range of soft-soles, Step ups Meet breastfeeding mothers and I Walks.

ContaCt a trained breastfeeding We currently have vacancies from counsellor Gubb’s Shoes is proud to stock these top 6 months to 4 year-olds.

Read a book from our library quality kids’ shoes from two NZ family BRowse our website Our operating hours are 8am-4pm. owned companies.

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La Leche League

GUBBS KIDS SHOES: BUSINESS CARD SIZE

PLEASE RESPOND TO THIS PROOF BY EMAIL Email: lesley@totstoteens.co.nz

Gubb’s is Shoes Our final deadline for approval Friday 6 September 2013. know kids No changes may be Kiwi made after this date.

PLEASE RESPOND TO THIS PROOF URGENTLY

BY REPLY EMAIL WITHIN 48 HOURS

OF RECEIVING IT WITH YOUR APPROVAL OR CHANGES

Join and receive aroha magazine Buy books and leaflets donate to help La Leche League help more mums like you.

CONTACT US: (04) 471 0690 EMAIL: help@lalecheleague.org.nz facebook.com/LLLNZ lalecheleague.org.nz

We offer 20 hours ECE Please contact Katrina for enrolement on 04-567 0309 Located at Naenae Primary School 35 Wheatley Street

DEVELOPS A CHILD’S POTENTIAL AND INSPIRES A VISION FOR THE FUTURE

Kids Shoes

Rangimarie Montessori Children’s House in Johnsonville, Wellington offers excellent pre-school education for 2.5 to 6 year olds. Each class has a maximum of 18 children, with 2 teachers.

With the help of an exceptional and qualified team, RMCH has established a reputation of being the ‘first choice’, for many parents in the area and beyond.

www.rmch.co.nz +64 4 478 6071 I rmch@paradise.net.nz

14

www.familytimes.co.nz

How to be SunSmart long-legged shorts & into shade whenever Skin cancer is largely possible. preventable if you Slop are SunSmart when Ultra Slop on SPF30 sunscreen 20 minutes Violet Radiation (UVR) levels before you go outdoors and every two hours afterwards. (Note: sunscreen should are high. Avoid getting never be your only or main method of sun sunburned and remember protection) that skin can burn in as little Slap as 15 minutes in the midday Slap on a hat that protects your face, head, neck and ears.

New Zealand summer sun.

Wrap

When to be SunSmart Between September and April, especially between the hours of 10am-4pm when UV radiation levels are very high.

Wrap on some sunglasses: make sure they meet the Australian/New Zealand Standard.

Slip Slip on some sun protective clothing, i.e. shirt with a collar and long sleeves and trousers or

Words of Wisdom with Diane Levy How do I stop my children from trying to one-up each other constantly, or is that normal?

M

any of us use one-upmanship to encourage compliance. We turn ordinary requests into a competition with a sibling or with ourselves. “Let’s see who can get dressed fastest! Let’s see who is first to the table! How about a race up to bed?”

All of this is well within the realms of normal - and often delightful – parenting, and if you are reading this and it is working for you, don’t change it. However, if this becomes our primary way of getting things done, if we have a naturally competitive child or competitive children, or if this is turning into everything is a competition, it is time to revise our method.

Put your older or oldest child’s name on the fridge. For that day, in situations of choice, that child gets to go first or to have first choice (not on everything, just in suitable child-choice situations). The following day, put the next-in-age child’s name on the fridge and this is their day to be chooser.

This method teaches children that some days they get to be the first and some days their options depends on other choices – or on being able to wait their turn.

Another way children one-up each other is in declaring themselves the best, the fastest, the cleverest. Try to switch your language into

Parent Help Turn old money into opportunities with NZ Lions Did you know that there’s a large amount of unwanted money out there? Apparently, there’s approximately $80m in old coins and some $36m in bank notes plus loads of foreign cash.

The Lions’ HU4K project collects everything from pre/old decimal currency and bank notes through to any foreign currency.

The magic of this collection is taking something that doesn’t have much use and turning it into something really positive – life changing opportunities for Kiwi teens.

Please take your old NZ/foreign money to any Resene ColorShop or selected New World Supermarkets.

It’s as easy as that!

Many thanks to Fastway Couriers, Resene ColorShops, New World Supermarkets and all New Zealanders for their on-going support.

Lions Clubs throughout New Zealand are raising funds to assist our young people by collecting old NZ money and foreign currency.

Parent Help is a not-for-profit organisation that has been offering services to parents and families since 1989.

• Parent Help line 0800-568-856 • Counselling and family therapy • Parent education courses • Information and resources We listen! Our helpline provides free, confidential and anonymous support assisting parents, caregivers, family and whanau with practical parenting advice. Phone 0800-568-856, 9am to 11pm, seven days a week. Visit www. parenthelp.org.nz or email admin@ parenthelp.org.nz.

Parent Help is currently offering “Different Approach, Different Response,” a course for parents of teenagers.

their virtues rather than their achievements.

Notice and admire hard work, kindness, thoughtfulness, generosity, helpfulness and consideration. By picking up on their virtues rather than their achievements, you get away from promoting competition.

Submit your parenting questions and concerns to family therapist, counsellor, parenting coach and speaker Diane Levy. This is a regular column, so get those questions flowing! Email us at editor@familytimes. co.nz. Get an order form for Diane’s popular books via www.familytimes.co.nz.

For more advice from Diane Levy, check out www.familytimes.co.nz.

NATIONAL PARENT HELPLINE AND CHILD ABUSE PREVENTION HELPLINE

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0800 568 856 PHONE 7 DAYS 9AM TO 11PM admin@parenthelp.org.nz www.parenthelp.org.nz

Is your school a SunSmart school?

So dig out your old money and take it to your local Resene Color Store or ring 0800 OLD MONEY (0800 653 666).

For more information about the project email our national coordinator: hu4kproject@lionsclubs.org.nz or visit our website: www.lionsclubs.org.nz/old money

For information about how your school can become a SunSmart Accredited school, visit: www.sunsmartschools.co.nz or email chris.teo@cancersoc.org.nz www.familytimes.co.nz

15

DOC Virtual Great Walker Competition New Zealand is known for its amazing “backyard” full of special native species and spectacular landscape, including the nine great walks.

of five or more kids to form a Virtual Great Walker team. To be eligible for entry, kids (and leaders) must walk at least half the distance of a Great Walk track of choice and then show what’s been learnt along the way in any way, shape or form. There will be plenty of supporting tools and information on the Virtual Great Walker website throughout the competition including an online virtual field trip happening in February where a live ow kids can get amongst it and go video feed from the Routeburn track will be on an incredible adventure with the streamed straight to a computer near you.

Department of Conservation (DOC) and Air The competition will help to encourage New Zealand without even having to go far and support kids to explore and complete from home!

Take on the Virtual Great Walker competition walks as groups within their local area – to learn about New Zealand and discover the DOC tracks, regional or council reserves or even just around their playing field and/ great outdoors, and one lucky group of kids or block. The kids then record the number will win an ultimate experience for up to 40 of kilometres they have walked locally on a people on one of New Zealand’s nine Great Great Walks inspired wall chart (supplied by Walks.

DOC).

The competition brings these amazing One lucky group will win the grand prize; iconic tracks to life in your kids’ home or a unique Great Walks experience for a classroom using the latest online technology. group of up to 40 people tailored to the By entering the competition, kids will learn more about conservation through discovering age and capabilities of the group. This prize the great outdoors where they live and will be package includes flights (supplied by Air New Zealand), transfers and accommodation encouraged to: arranged by DOC for the whole group. The • Get out and walk winning group will get to visit a surprise • Discover their own backyard • Have fun learning about conservation and location on one of the Great Walks, receive a unique, hands-on experience with nature, and New Zealand make a special connection with an awesome The Virtual Great Walker competition will part of New Zealand. run in Term 1, 2015, starting on 26 January To find out more and to register your interest through to 2 April. It’s open entry for all for the competition, visit doc.govt.nz/ children up to the age of 13. virtualgreatwalker.

Getting involved is easy: parents, school teachers or club leaders can sign-up a group

N

g ri h e t h c t h e oice k am

. .choose the right bin! proudly supported by

www.recycling.kiwi.nz 16

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Enviroschools sparks a new generation of green Kiwis New Zealand has built its international reputation on being clean and green. But keeping it that way is going to require a new generation of eco-warriors to protect our environment on the home front.

and a sense of belonging to the environment and community, according to Anke.

Through these connections with the environment, students then consider the world they are a part of, and look at how they make decisions to improve the physical and social environment of their places, community and world.

“Parents report that their children (some as young as 3-years-old) have insisted on changes to the ways things are done at home, for example with beginning to grow hat’s where Enviroschools comes in. their own vegetables and with regard to disposal of “waste.” Many families are now The Enviroschools programme is recycling, composting food scraps, and a unique sustainability journey that changing the products they buy to reduce more than 950 early childhood education centres and schools in New Zealand are on. packaging waste. Some parents have also reported that they have taken these The Enviroschools’ network now includes changes into their workplaces.” a combined roll of 250,000 children and young people – that’s about 30% of current Participation from early childhood education centres has been increasing schools and early childhood centres. in recent years, now up to 3 per cent, It’s implemented regionally, along regional meaning that younger and younger kiwis council boundaries and is supported are starting to learn to look after their by a network of people working for a environment. In fact, the environment now range of different organisations. Regional forms a key part of modern New Zealand partners contribute by providing funding, curriculum. skilled people, ideas and networking The result is that a new generation of opportunities. Assistance differs from youth and student leaders, now starting region to region depending on the number to emerge after 12-years of Enviroschool and type of organisations involved.

But Enviroschools programme and projects education, with knowledge and skills in coordinator Anke Nieschmidt says the goal environmental, economic and social change.

That includes a great appreciation for is clear: to encourage a new generation to indigenous perspectives. And, as Anke says, have a passion for their natural environnow they are starting to mentor others. ment.

“The Enviroschools Programme is fostering “Students have become involved in submission processes to councils to a generation of innovative and motivated help protect local ecosystems, as well as young people who instinctively think and presenting ideas for positive change in their act sustainably.” schools and communities to their Boards of Enviroschools aims to spark that passion through a variety of practical projects, such Trustees and principals.

“Post-school youth who have been as kids making worm farms, growing their through the Enviroschools programme own vegetables, or even caring for local wetlands, like St Joseph’s school in Taranaki. are stepping into leadership roles within their communities in areas such as green Through exploration and discovery, stueconomics, politics and climate change dents develop learning and language, care action.” and creativity, relationships and responsibilities suited to their developmental stage. Keen greenie? We’ve got heaps of environment stories @ www.familytimes.co.nz.

What emerges is a connection with nature

T

Children and depression Depression appears more prevalent today. How can you tell whether your child is just going through life’s natural ups and downs, or whether they need a little extra help to get them through a very rough patch?

G

ood stress can keep us motivated and focused, but often young people are dealing with too much pressure.

They might be worrying about friendships, relationships, school work, bullying, family, jobs, fitting in, appearances - it’s a lot to think about. Then, sometimes parents can put too much pressure on children to achieve.

If people stay stressed for too long, or have too many things causing stress in their lives, they can become physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, or even depressed.

It’s important to find ways to relax and unwind, let go of things we can’t control and take a break when we need one.

Depression is more than just feeling a bit down – feeling stressed, irritable, sad, angry, hopeless or empty happens to all of us sometimes.

Depression is getting stuck in those feelings for a while, when it doesn’t seem like they’re going away and they get in the way of relating to

people or thinking clearly.

you are worried, you could suggest they see a doctor or counsellor. Let them know there is What to do? help available and they don’t have to feel bad It can be hard to know when to worry about kids all the time.

– what’s normal and when to get more support.

It can be difficult for young people to talk It’s common to be unsure how and when to step about feeling low or depressed - they might in and help, or even if you should. feel as though no one will believe them or If you feel something is not quite right, trust your they’ll be told it’s just a phase. Depression can instincts and take action. Talk to them about be really hard to deal with, but with the right it, show your support and get involved. It’s help, your child can get through it. especially important to step in if their behaviour is Helpful websites: www.sparx.org. completely out of character, or it’s getting in the nz (offers free online therapy) way of them being able to do things normally. www.thelowdown.org.nz www. commonground.org.nz Some information Get some extra support if sourced with permission of www.commonground.org.nz.

you notice they: • Feel sad or down for a long time - weeks

or months Don’t care about things they used to enjoy Sleep a lot or not enough Lose or gain weight, or have a different appetite for food • Can’t concentrate • Feel tired or low in energy • Have unexplained aches and pains • Feel guilty, worthless or hopeless about the future • Are angrier or more hostile than usual • Harm or hurt themselves on purpose • Talk about suicide or say they want to die Let them know you’re available to talk and give them the time and space to respond. If

• • •

Business Directory

Have a wild year at Wellington Zoo! Wellington Zoo is home to more than 500 animals from more than 100 species. Having spent much of the last decade investing in new areas, new exhibits, and welcoming new animals, they’re earning a welldeserved reputation as the “best little zoo in the world.” Wellington Zoo is the perfect place to inspire your kids to learn about – and fall in love with – nature, and there’s always something happening!

Zoo Crew is Wellington Zoo’s annual membership programme. As a Zoo Crew member you can visit the zoo as often as you like – pop in for half an hour to see your favourite animal or spend the whole day exploring – it’s up to you. You’ll also get exclusive invites to special events, and

be among the first to see new exhibits and arrivals.

Zoo Crew members also get exclusive access to great zoo programmes like Wild Start – specially designed for toddlers, and special discounts at the zoo shop, Mojo, and the tuck shop.

Animal talk times are held daily, giving your child a chance to hear from zoo keepers and rangers about the animals of the zoo, and see their amazing vet team in action performing procedures and health checks twice a day.

Membership starts at just $39 for kids. Check out their website for more info, and to sign up!

Family Times’ business directory is your A to Z of businesses that support Family Times. For more information, visit our online business directory at www.familytimes.co.nz.

Accommodation www.rydges.com

Arts and Instruction Plimmerton School of Dance

Attractions www.bnz.co.nz/about-us/history/bnzmuseum www.owlcatraz.co.nz

Baby & Toddler www.lalecheleague.org.nz

Education Te Kohanga Reo o Awhina Te Kahui Nohinohi www.readingeggs.co.nz www.rmch.co.nz www.wellingtonplaycentre.org.nz

Entertainment www.capitale.org.nz www.centreport.co.nz www.chinesenewyear.co.nz www.circa.co.nz www.dtcoastlands.co.nz www.eastbywest.co.nz www.thecross.co.nz www.wellingtonyoungvoices.org.nz www.wellingtonzoo.com

Family Dining www.clearviewestate.co.nz www.strawberryfare.co.nz

Food & Beverages www.hellers.co.nz www.littleindia.co.nz www.saritaorchad.co.nz

Health & Safety www.activefeetpodiatry.com www.cancersoc.org.nz www.genevahealth.com www.sleepdrops.co.nz

Help at Hand www.lionfoundation.org.nz www.parenthelp.org.nz

Parties www.villagebeads.co.nz

Retail Gubbs Shoes www.shoeclinic.co.nz www.westfield.co.nz/queensgate

Services www.contact.co.nz www.recycling.kiwi.nz

Sport and Recreation www.cityfitness.co.nz www.girlsbrigade.org.nz www.wellington.govt.nz www.wellington.govt.nz

Family Getaway www.airbusexpress.co.nz www.interislander.co.nz www.familytimes.co.nz

17

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SCHOOL SHOE ‘HERO PICKS’ SCHOOL SHOE ‘HERO PICKS’ available from our large range in store

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Setting a new standard in quality formal school shoes from young children right through to teenagers and adults. This model is also available in a variety of widths.

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Ascent Apex Junior and Senior BuiltAscent to last the rigour of everyday wear by the toughest Apex Junior and Senior teenagers, provides durability Built toApex last the rigour stability, of everyday wear byand thecushioning. toughest Setting a new standard in quality formal schooland shoes from teenagers, Apex provides stability, durability cushioning. young children right throughinto teenagers adults.

This Setting a new standard quality formaland school shoes from model is also available a variety widths. and adults. This young children rightinthrough to of teenagers model is also available in a variety of widths.

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Ascent Adela 2 Junior and Senior The Ascent Ascent Adela a durable black leather school shoe featuring a Mary Adela 22 isJunior and Senior JaneThe style adjustable durable grip featuring on a variety of Ascent Adela strap.

2 is a The durable blackoutsole leatherprovides school shoe a Mary surfaces, heel cushioning with shockprovides absorption Jane and stylethe adjustable strap. Thehelps durable outsole gripfrom on ayoung variety of children right and through to teenagers and adults. surfaces, the heel cushioning helps with shock absorption from young children right through to teenagers and adults.

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Ascent Eve Junior and Senior Traditional shoe with a buckle closure. Generous fit around Ascentgirls EveT-Bar Juniorschool and Senior the forefoot, but snug andschool secureshoe around heel. The Eve Generous is engineered Traditional girls T-Bar withthe a buckle closure. fit around to provide lastingbut cushioning, maintaining a solid the forefoot, snug and yet secure around the heel.and Thestable Eve is internal engineered structure.

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Asics GEL-520TR Black Junior BuiltAsics for court based activity, shoe provides a great option for the active GEL-520TR Blackthis Junior childBuilt whofor loves sport andactivity, needsthis a durable and supportive shoe. for the active court based shoe provides a great option Alsochild available in Pre-school with a Velcroand lace up system. who loves sport andsizes needs a durable supportive shoe.

Asics GEL-520TR Junior Built forGEL-520TR court basedJunior activity, this shoe provides a great option for the active Asics child lovesbased sport and needs durable and supportive shop. available Builtwho for court activity, this ashoe provides a great option for Also the active inchild a girls colour in and Pre-school with a Velcro laceshop. up system in both who lovesand sport needs a sizes durable and supportive Also available boys in a and girls girls. colour and in Pre-school sizes with a Velcro lace up system in both boys and girls.

Also available in Pre-school sizes with a Velcro lace up system.

Asics GEL-Fuji Trabuco 3 Junior and Senior The Asics GEL-Fuji Trabuco 3 is a shoe that and provides a supportive, yet cushioned GEL-Fuji Trabuco 3 Junior Senior and The comfortable onprovides or off-road purposes yet andcushioned is a great GEL-Fujiplatform Trabuco designed 3 is a shoeforthat a supportive, all-round school shoeplatform for those that don’t a morepurposes formal style. and comfortable designed for require on or off-road and is a great Note: Not all school models are for available in alldon’t Shoe Clinica stores www.familytimes.co.nz all-round shoe those that require more formal style.

19

Note: Not all models are available in all Shoe Clinic stores

Keen Kanyon Junior and Senior With terrific toe Junior protection is a great all-conditions sandal. The Keen Keen Kanyon and this Senior Kanyon is ready help yourthis child battle against thesandal. elements.

With terrific toe to protection is ado great all-conditions The With Keena non-marking outsole, secure-fit lacing system and anti-microbial Kanyon is ready to help your child do battle against the elements. upper With a it isnon-marking the ‘go-to-sandal’ forsecure-fit children lacing of various ages. outsole, system and anti-microbial upper it is the ‘go-to-sandal’ for children of various ages.

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www.familytimes.co.nz WES 1209 QG Christmas 2014_Press_FT_258x360_FA.indd 1

21/11/14 2:19 PM