Engineering Buildings Winter 2020

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The secret to happiness Keegan Luiters

Like many, the last few weeks has been a series of responses (or reactions) as the world continues to change at hyperspeed in front of our eyes. Two or three short weeks ago (I can't even remember the exact dates!), our apartment was a place that three people ate breakfast, slept and hung out in the evenings and weekends. Now, all of our outside worlds are here as well. I'm trying to run a business, my wife is managing to run a project across two continents and my daughter is continuing her education as best as we can manage.

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n Monday, I just about broke. There were tears from all three residents and I didn't know how to get through Tuesday, let alone up to six months of this. Since then, we have had 2.5 good days (which feels like a huge win!) and here is the reason.

The secret to happiness is low expectations

Our happiness or disappointment is basically a function of the relationship between expectations and reality. When our expectations exceed the reality that we experience, then we are disappointed. The inverse occurs when reality exceeds our expectations and we experience happiness. Here is a fancy graph that explains it. In real terms for me at the moment, the easiest lever to pull here is not my reality. It's my expectations. I was broken on Monday because I hadn't adjusted my expectations to adequately respond to reality. I had made no acknowledgement that my capacity was stretched across my roles of father, husband, son, friend and business owner in the context of unprecedented health, social and economic upheaval. Since then, I have made a few adjustments to my expectations. For our family right now, I need to adjust the times (and only a little bit of the total time) that I

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How might you be able to redefine success this week? Photo by Nicolas I. on Unsplash


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