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JUNE 2014 ISSUE 37
FREE www.affinitymag.co.uk
June 2014
V Jewellery Vintage design with a modern perspective
AFFINITY LUXURY LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE
We have it all...
Everything you need for Fathers day
A piece of Heaven
We visit Huma Island in the Philippines
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US We are 3 years old
BEAUTY - FOOD - DRINK - HEALTH - FITNESS - STYLE - INTERIORS - MOTORS - WHAT’S ON
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What does your kitchen mean to you?
NEVER UNDERSOLD POLICY
we will not be beaten on price for a true ‘like for like’ package
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Welcome... Happy Birthday to Us! Wow we are 3 years old! And what a year it’s been! We have added 2 Wedding Shows to the Affinity brand, these coincide with our twice yearly Affinity Weddings Magazine. Then there’s the Champagne Afternoon Tea added to our Charity Events (this was held last month and we raised just over £1000 for Breakthrough Breast Cancer). Of course our Annual Ball is also in it’s third year and tickets are selling fast so don’t forget to reserve yours, page 26 tells you more. We are also in the process of growing and expanding Affinity more into Milton Keynes and Bucks. Having been predominantly focused around Bedfordshire, the magazine has been available to parts of Milton Keynes with strategic pick up points located in key areas but due to overwhelming demand, we will now be expanding even further and increasing circulation in Milton Keynes and Buckinghamshire. We have chosen Jean Winfield Managing Director of Jeanius Consulting; a local PR & marketing specialist with a publishing background, to help us raise our profile and to be the sales agent for all advertising opportunities in this area.
On top of all this we have a bumper issue with tips on how to get that summer Beach Body page 30. Once you’ve got the body choose from our selection of gorgeous swimwear to show it off! Are you a bikini or swimsuit girl? We have something for everyone check out page 34. Finally, lets not forget the men! This month is Fathers Day (Sun 15th June). Stuck what to buy your dad then let us help, check out page 58 for our ultimate Father’s Day Gift Guide. If your dad has everything then why not treat him to the Elemis IQ Facial exclusively for men and available from Y Spa turn to page 61 to read all about it! See you next month!
Jane
Julia Crofts will still be the advertising contact for all other areas. Cover Image: Matalan
Editor: Jane Fry jane@affinitymag.co.uk 01234 215523 - 07507 602401 Advertising Manager: Julia Crofts Beds / Northants julia@affinitymag.co.uk 07966 696784 Advertising Manager: Jean Winfield Milton Keynes / Bucks affinity@jeaniusconsulting.com 01908 827340 - 07970702443 Graphic Design and Photography: David Zita dave@affinitymag.co.uk www.affinitymag.co.uk
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@affinitymagz
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All adverts are printed in good faith. Affinity cannot take responsibility for the content of adverts. Advertisements are accepted on the understanding that descriptions of goods and services are accurate. Reproduction in whole or in part is strictly prohibited.Printed in the UK by Regal Litho 01908 270400
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CONTENTS 12 I dream of Voya 20 Holiday locks 30 Beach beautiful
34 Bikini beauty 40 Delectable dining 47 Outdoor living
54 Perfect picnic 58 Dear Daddy 60 WIN! On trend shirts
61 66 68 72 74
Just for him Mercedes magic Poppins effect Huma Heaven Happy days
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The Tricky Skin Condition
Acne Rosacea
Treatment:
A
cne Rosacea is a red facial rash and usually affects those between the age of 30 - 60 and people with fair skin and blue eyes with Celtic ancestry. It may be transitory, persistent or intermittent. You may well notice it getting worse during the Spring and Summer months. However, a concerted effort with changes in diet, taking some herbs and topical application of cooling and soothing natural products can certainly help to resolve this very tricky skin condition.
Avoid stimulants which cause flushing, such as coffee and alcohol along with sour and spicy foods Avoid oil-based makeup Use water-based sunscreen to protect the skin Keep the face cool with a frequent spritz of pure rosewater or orange flower water
Cause - The cause is unknown but is linked to an inflammatory factor within the body as well as genetics, environmental factors, particular trigger foods and overactive blood vessels on the face.
Anti-bacterial and astringent herb products can help reduce the need for medication to control the condition
Cleanser - A homemade cleanser of oat flour, zea mays, (corn starch), kaolinite, whole dry milk, chamomile extracts, green tea extract, licorice extract can be used to cool the inflammation and heal the skin.
Symptoms:
Red papules and pustules on the nose, forehead and chin Red patches on the face due to broken blood capillaries
Mix ½ teaspoon with water for a paste, apply to wet skin, massage gently for 3 mins. Rinse & pat dry.
Dry flaky skin Worse in the sun and after stimulants such as alcohol, coffee and spicy food
If you are bothered by any skin problem, including Rosacea, there are many natural remedies to take both internally and apply externally to help support the healing process. Additionally, I also have specialist natural facials, which are tailored to your individual needs.
Sensitive skin particularly with skin preparations and makeup Red sore eyelids and conjunctivitis Enlarged nose with prominent pores 10
Carolyn Woods Herbalist and Naturopath 07944886502 www.vedatherapeutics.co.uk
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I Dream of Voya
N
ight cream is my favourite skincare product. There's something so pleasing about removing the day's filth and cosseting my face in rich, softening cream ready for bed. It imparts a smug sense of completion and makes me think I’ll wake up looking 16 again! Night-time is also a good opportunity to go big on moisture without having to get makeup to look halfdecent over the top, which can be tricky with rich creams. I invariably look as though I've smeared my face in Lurpak before I hit the sack, and my smoother, plumper and more vibrant-looking skin loves me for it come morning. My latest must have find is Voya Dream Crème Restorative Night Cream which has been formulated by Voya to give you the face of your dreams. It Replenishes and rejuvenates your skin in the sleeping hours. Rich in almond oil and blended with extract of algae which helps nourish the skin through the night, giving you a marvelous morning glow. Does it work? Definitely, my skin feels super soft from the moment it’s applied right until the morning when it looks brighter, feels plumper and is velvety smooth to touch.
Am I converted? Of course, this wonder product has now been added to my nightly beauty routine and is religiously used every night, so that I wake up feeling 16!!!!!
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Voya Dream Crème Restorative Night Cream £55 www.voya.ie
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Are you making these Beauty Mistakes? According to a new study by hair care website Hairtrade.com nine out of ten British women admit to making beauty mistakes on a daily basis. If this is the case then you should easily recognise some of these top ten beauty blunders – but there may be others that you may not realise you are guilty of! Panic not, we are here to show you how to rectify these blunders Washing your hair too much Frequent washing can strip your hair of its natural oils, so try washing it every two-three days if you can. – before you go into panic mode and scream you can’t, grab some dry shampoo and try it.
Too much conditioner Nearly all of us over-apply most beauty products, but the worst culprit is conditioner. You just need to apply it to the lengths and ends where your older hair is damaged and leave your newly grown roots to naturally condition themselves. Tying your ponytail in the same place If you regularly wear your hair in a tight ponytail, it can cause tension which will result in the hair splitting and weakening – so try not to tie your ponytail in exactly the same place every time.
Not using heat protection Heat from hair-dryers as well as straightners, tongs, curlers etc can frazzle your hair leaving it dry, frizzy and brittle. Neck neglect Do you want a beautiful soft face just like a baby’s, but with a neck like a turkey’s? No, of course you don’t - Make sure you don’t neglect your neck and remember to cleanse and moisturise below the chin – adding SPF too.
Washing makeup brushes We tend to forget that used everyday makeup brushes are a breeding ground 15
for bacteria which in turn can lead to blemishes and other skin conditions. Try to give your brushes a clean once a fortnight using a baby or gentle shampoo. Applying foundation before moisturiser is dry Moisturiser needs at least a minute to absorb into your skin before you start applying foundation. This also helps to stop your makeup peeling off or leaving a streaky finish. Over-treating spots Always follow the instructions for spot treatment products as they work on your skin for hours. DON’T cake spots in concealer, your skin needs to breath and you can often end up highlighting a spot more by applying too much concealer.
Yellow nails Professional nail technicians and polish junkies will know that constantly covering your nails in polish can leave them stained yellow. To prevent this you should always wear a base coat, finishing off with a a top coat as this will make your manicure last. Plucking eyebrows – don’t stand too close to the mirror If you stand too close to the mirror and pluck you will find yourself looking and plucking every hair rather than looking at the overall shape of your eyebrows. Which in turn can leave you with thin, and/or uneven brows. Use a large mirror so you can see your whole face, not just your brows.
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New Horizons I
t’s the middle of May and I’m sitting in the office, just days away from leaving the rat race behind. My mood swings from excitement to nervousness about what happens next.
That said, I have probably experienced some of the funniest most bizarre incidents in my life which I will never forget. The time at Kuala Lumpur airport, when a woman asked me if I would take her extra bag through security as she was over her allowance - no way lady! The time that as I settled down to write a presentation, a kid on assisted passage asked me to take him to the toilet. Or the time that a lady at check-in asked if I would take one of her twin babies onboard, as you were only allowed one child per adult. Ah, memories! So it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. I found that more and more I wanted to be at home with Martin in Pavenham.
Turn the clock back six months and to the moment on a snowy morning, when I turned round to Martin (hubbie) in bed and said “I just can’t play the corporate game anymore!” Martin offered to make a cuppa and talk about it. With me being half Portuguese, he was used to my ups and downs, but he knew this time I meant it and his calming influence kicked in – so we talked (and I was late for work!).
Martin and I had been married before (to each other), divorced, stayed friends, started dating again and then got back together again. We realised that we couldn’t live without each other. So we had a real need to catch up for lost time.
Having worked since I was 17 in a succession of ever more stressful jobs, my career had always come first. Being an Auntie to four nieces and one nephew meant I could get my dose of “mummy time” whenever I needed it.
So as I said at the top, I am sitting here at work contemplating the future. I have to say that there have been some sad happenings in the lives of close friends and family over the last few months. There have been deaths and serious illnesses and I suddenly thought, what am I doing with my life? I want time for me and to be the nice person that I used to be.
I loved the travel, the excitement and the constant challenge of a pressurised world. I had worked for big brands such as Shell and Sky; stayed in the best hotels; eaten in Michelin starred restaurants and flown business class everywhere. In the last couple of years, I had started to question my career and the person I had to be in the workplace – I didn’t like that person. Mid forties, very happily married and living in our dream location in Pavenham, Beds. I started to have a very different perspective on what was important in life. Yes the travel was exciting, but when your only companion is a G&T, served by a moody steward then what’s the point. Yes the restaurants were amazing and the food the best you’ve ever tasted, but it was difficult for me to go to dinner on my own, so room service usually sufficed.
So what will I do with my life – bake the perfect Victoria sponge, tend the newly laid allotment, hang out with my sexy new tennis coach (Tuesday mornings are looking a highlight already!), enter cycle races or drive over to mums where she has the cocktail and the lounger waiting for me. Yes all of these things and more! Find out how I get on over the coming months. 18
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Veda Therapeutics Carolyn wood Herbal Medicine - Ayuverda Naturopathy - Therapeutic Massage - Ear Acupuncture
Herbalist (Dip Herb) Naturopath (Dip ND) MAMH, MANP, ITEC
As a herbalist and naturopath I can help you with
• Immunity • Skin Conditions • Digestive Complaints • Hormonal imbalances • Heart health & Circulation • Energy & Wellbeing • Insomnia • Depression • Other chronic health conditions • Acute coughs & colds
07944 886502 carolyn612@btinternet.com www.vedatherapeutics.co.uk
01234 302408 07701 086394
www.brightnclean.co.uk
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Holiday Locks
One of the best things about a beach holiday aside from the beach - is the easy anything goes attitude we can take towards our hair.
Charles Worthington Takeaways Sunshine Leave in UV Protection Spray £1.99 each Boots
Dishevelled, salty, easy and undone are all adjectives we can embrace style-wise to create any style for your holiday hair. All you need is the right inspiration and hair product.
Charles Worthington Takeaways Sunshine, £1.99 each Just the right size to take away for a week. Includes everything you need to protect your hair from the sun. Conditioner, protection, shine enhancing etc
L'Oreal Professionnel Techni-art Texture Dust, £12.60 The smallest amount in wet or dry hair will give your hair a tousled texture, moveability and general gorgeousness.
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Alterna Bamboo Sun Recovery Spray, £21 A definite must have. Chuck it in your beach bag, when you get out of the sea, go for lunch, get out the shower at the end of the day just spritz it on. This deep nourishing leave in conditioner will save your hair every day Bumble and Bumble Surf Spray, £20.50 To add an instant tousled, salty matte effect - this makes anyones hair better - beachbound and beyond.
Liz Earle Botanical Shine Treatment, £14.50 Great to treat your hair after a couple of days of too much sunbathing. Your hair needs aftersun care too, and this treatment will take any hair ‘sunburn’ down nicely
Mark Hill Holiday Hair Summer Loving Protection Serum, £1.99 A protective styling product that adds shine to your hair at the same time as adding SPF protection to it. Ideal for hair that’s blow dryed.
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WIN! WIN! WIN!
I
t’s our Third Birthday so we are spoiling you and giving away a Luxury Hotel Chocolat “Adventures in Chocolate Hamper”
Filled with nothing but life’s essential luxuries, this chocolate hamper has something for everyone, you can share with family or friends or simply selfishly indulge yourself - including a bottle of Prosecco, Milk Oblivion H-Box Selection, 40% Milk Chocolate Batons, Caramel Chocolate Batons, Dark Sambirano Valley Madagascar Bar, A bag of Strawberry White Puddles, Dark Bolivian Brazil Nut Nibbles and more. Simple Indulgence, a chocolate lovers dream! To be in with a chance of winning tell us “How many year’s old is Affinity” and send to info@affinitymag.co.uk –Good Luck!
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Midlife Madness Battling with the Break-up Baggage
A
s an adult, and a divorced one at that, I understand the fact that all relationships are transient in nature. Not meaning to sound too pessimistic but the very longest and best of marriages will end eventually when sadly one partner heads off to the next world before the other. Of course an awful lot of relationships end a long time before that and I am sure there are not many folk who haven’t experienced a heartbreak of one sort or another.
break up – you know the carefully arranged murder mystery evening that will now lack a Professor Plum, the holiday where you didn’t invite your sister because there wouldn’t have been room, the empty plus one seat at a family wedding, the list can be endless. But the problems don’t stop there. If it is a family member or someone you have been friends with for a long time then the loyalty issue shouldn’t be a problem but I have experienced a few ‘complicated’ situations, you know the type you read about in the rather trashy novel you pick up in the airport because you realise your flight has just been called. When Gina left Tim and moved in with his sister, I can admit that it took us a little while to get used to the arrangement but we got there in the end. And in the loyalty stakes, it’s a shame family is a trump card because longevity isn’t everything, Kevin was family and we’d known him all our lives – we all got on much better with cousin Kevin’s partner, frankly, than we ever had with him!
Coping with heartbreak is a rite of passage that I have seen many young people, adults and older folk go through. With friends I have ‘been there’ in their days, weeks, or months of need administering the time honoured healing remedies - you know the ones - tissues, weepy movies, alcohol and ridiculous amounts of ice cream, chocolate or pizza, according to individual preferences, crazy nights out, relaxing nights in, agreeing alternately that yes he/she was a **** or that yes they were the best thing that ever happened to them. Then there are the times of encouragement and cajoling, the delicate tightrope walk between sympathy and understanding on one hand and a bit of ‘for goodness sake it was months ago, pull yourself together’.
But it’s the little things that often get me – changing the composition of photo frames, remembering to cross a few names of the Christmas card list, remembering not to commit the heinous crime of calling the new love, when they are introduced, by the old loves name or waxing lyrically about how nice the previous partner was while wondering why somebody keeps kicking your shin under the table.
But all of that is fine, it is what friends do, but it doesn’t end there. When friends, grown up children or other relatives, even perhaps your own newly single parent begins a relationship, we are hopefully welcoming, inviting them into our homes, enjoying nights out, parties, dinners, perhaps holidays with these folks and sharing the special moments like birthdays, Christmases, family celebrations. Then what happens – there is a break up. Yeah I know am not the heartbroken one in this scenario but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t cause problems for me. The first problem is often the things that have been arranged before the
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You might think I come across as selfish and heartless but honestly that is not the case. It’s just it gets complicated for me and while I know the course of true love may never be smooth– it is also true that there is a fall out which spreads far wider than the couple themselves. I will of course continue to support and care for any heartbroken loved ones but I can’t promise I won’t be muttering a little under my breath. I think as someone in a mid-life crisis I will cut myself some slack as I cut folk out of photos!!
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Lets Have a Ball
Save the date in your diary for this year’s
Affinity
‘50 Shades of Pink’ Charity Ball
W
e all had a fabulous fun-filled evening at The Sharnbrook Hotel for our Annual Affinity Charity Ball last November and this year on Saturday 11th October we are going to do it all over again. Our theme this year is ‘50 Shades of Pink’, and I believe the name speaks for itself when I tell you our charity this year is ‘Breakthrough Breast Cancer’ - a cause that is close to so many people’s hearts. Breakthrough Breast Cancer is more than a name, it’s a force. A force of thousands of people across the UK working together with a single-minded ambition to STOP women and men dying from breast cancer!
We will, as usual, be pulling out all the stops to make sure you have another fantastic evening, whilst raising as much as we can for this worthwhile cause, with magic, casino tables, great music from Vision, a fun photobooth, along with a luxury raffle, an exclusive auction, a table gift for everyone and a few other surprises, our ’50 Shades of Pink’ Ball promises to be another great night to remember. You will arrive to a PINK sparkling drinks and canapé reception, which will be followed by a delicious three course dinner. The raffle will have some luxury prizes and the exclusive auction will have you on the edge of your seat. After all this excitement you can relax at our casino gaming tables, dress up in our fun photobooth or boogie the night away to the sounds of of Vision. Tickets for this great night are now on sale at £50 per person with 10% discount for tables of ten; so book your table, decide what shade of pink suits you and look forward to joining us for a great night.
To book tickets for this event or for sponsorship enquiries contact: Jane on 01234 – 215523 / 07507602401 Email: Jane@affinitymag.co.uk
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50 Shades of Pink
Charity Ball
In aid of Breakthrough Breast Cancer
Saturday 11th October 2014 Arrival 7.00pm – 1.00am The Sharnbrook Hotel A6 Park Lane, Sharnbrook, Beds, MK44 1LX A PINK Drinks and Canapé Reception A Sumptious Three Course Meal Exclusive Auction, Raffle, Entertainment and much more
Tickets £50 per person For tickets and sponsorship enquiries contact: Jane Fry – 01234 215523 / 07507 602401 jane@affinitymag.co.uk
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Be part of Affinity the PREMIUM FREE Luxury Lifestyle Magazine Affinity has become the regions most loved and widely read magazine
Our distribution and readership is extensive Advertise with us in print and online and gain new customers by putting your business in front of our readers
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Radley Cross Body Mini Bag £119 Radley
Hotel Chocolat Mojito Selection £9.00 Hotel Chocolat
Hotel Chocolat Summer Sleekster Collection £24 Hotel Chocolat
Aronia Berry 30 Day Shots £19.95 vitona.co.uk
Ladies Ice Watch £37.50 watchshop.com
Perrier Jouet Belle Epoque Rosé 2002 £175 Selfridges
Fake Bake 60 Minute Formula £24.95 John Lewis
AFFINITY HOT PICKS This month’s must have gifts and accessories
Vespa Primavera £3,471 vespa-scooters.co.uk
Unisex Bracelets £49, Curbbz.com
Guerlain Aqua Allegoria Limon Verde Perfume £58 John Lewis
Fluff My Pillows Cushion £49 swankymaison.com
Neon Flower Lace Dress £199 Karen Millen
Blonde & Blonde Bambi Sweatshirt £28 Bankfashion.co.uk
Lipsense Liquid Lip Colour £22 sheersense.com
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Get your Body Beach Beautiful 30
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I
f the thought of baring all in a bikini fills you with dread, don’t panic it’s not too late to get your body in shape for Summer. Begin by making a few small changes to your diet and daily routine now and you’ll soon be body confident enough to hit the beach
The Right Choices You need to get plenty of fruit, vegetables, lean products, whole grains, and non-fat dairy products into your diet. These foods are more nutritious and have far fewer calories per bite than the less healthy foods. Drink plenty of water, snack on fruit and veg and try to avoid high calorie snack foods and fizzy drinks as much as possible.
The Most Important Meal Breakfast Those who regularly eat breakfast find it easier to control their weight, while those that skip it are likely to overcompensate and eat too much at lunchtime. If you can’t face much in the morning, try a bowl of oatmeal with a bit of protein powder stirred in, some fresh fruit with a scoop of cottage cheese or yogurt, or a protein shake made with milk, protein powder and fruit.
Exercise - Make Time It’s vitally important to find the time to exercise when it comes to weight control. If you’re struggling to find time in your day to fit in a workout, set your alarm 30 minutes earlier so you get your workout out of the way first thing – this is a great idea if you’re likely to talk yourself out of it by the end of the day. If you’re not a morning person then go for the other option of a lunchtime power-walk, ask a colleague to join you if you feel you need the extra motivation and you’ll be less inclined to miss a session. If finding a full 30 minutes in your day is too difficult, try to do three or more mini workouts. It’s fine to split your workout throughout the day.
Set Goals Set yourself a goal that you know you can achieve – not just “I’m going to get more exercise”, but “I’m going to take a brisk 30-minute walk three times a week”. Or, decide how much you want to walk each day and keep track with a pedometer. Setting reasonable goals that you can meet will lead to more permanent changes in your lifestyle – which in turn motivates and leads to successful weight management over the long haul. Celebrate your Success Everyone feels their motivation waning from time to time, when this happens remind yourself why you embarked on this makeover in the first place. Keep your focus on your achievements rather than your failures. Pay less attention to what the scales say, and focus more on the positive lifestyle changes you have made. 31
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Treatment of the Month
The Day Spa Signature Massage
T
he Day Spa at Whittlebury Hall has added some ultimate pampering summer treats to their treatment list including the “Day Spa Signature Massage.” A divine body massage that is designed to deliver relaxation, alleviate stress and enhance well being. Dynamic blends of Essential Oils are prescribed to target individual needs and reduce specific stress and muscle tension. This body massage is designed to deliver relaxation and enhance well-being. It includes legs, arms, a soothing back, neck and shoulder massage, giving total relaxation for body and mind. Your therapist asks you to smell different essential oils and choose which one appeals to your senses, this is meant to be what your body is crying out for – I was drawn to the relaxation
one, so obviously I need to relax more! And it certainly did relax me - the slow and relaxing massage movements melted away tension in both my body and mind, leaving me feeling calm and rebalanced. I was completely relaxed and drifted in and out of sleep during the whole treatment, the therapist knew exactly where to apply extra pressure and where not to – if you need some time to rebalance, rejuvenate or energise your body then look no further! The Signature Massage is £55 and lasts for 50 minutes Whittlebury Hall Hotel and Spa 0845 400 0002 Whittleburyhall.co.uk 32
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Blurred Floral Swimsuit £26 M&Co
Sunshine Swimsuits
Hera Swimsuit £39 Caprice
Cherry Print Swimsuit £32 Fashion World
Debenhams
Crochet Swimsuit £29 Accessorize Phoebe Monokini' £38 .Caprice
Jacquard Swimsuit £29 Accessorize
Dolores Spot Swimsuit £35 White Stuff
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Frill Tankini £22 M&Co
George Asda
Orchid Turquoise Swimsuit' £45 ISWAI
One Piece £25 Bank Fashion Bum Lift Swimsuit £45 Marisota
Stripe Swimsuit £59 Phase Eight
Swimsuit Debenhams
Swimsuit £39.50 Marks & Spencer
Turquoise Swimsuit £49 La Redoute
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BikiniBeauty Bandeau Bikini £14.99 Bonprix
Bikini Top £25 Bottoms £19 Caprice Alexandra
Bikini George Asda
Bikini Debenhams
Call Me Baby' Bikini £45 Caprice Alexandra
Bikini Debenhams
High Waist Bikini River Island
Marilda Bikini £19.99 Misguided
Red Bikini Top £19 Bottoms £25 La Redoute
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Zambia Bikini Boux Avenue
Isla Bonita Spotty Bikini Top £19.95 Bottoms £15 White Stuff
Tiger Bikini George Asda
Monaco High Waist Bikini £46 Boux Avenue
Tie-Dye Bikini £19.99 Misguided
Nautical Bikini Accessorize
Zig Zag Bikini £11 Sainsburys
Red Herring Set £32 Debenhams Frill Bandeau Bikini Accessorize
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Joys of being Single
S
• Focus more on your career.
ingleness is one dreadful state that embodies a very common fear of both men and women. People are so afraid of being alone that they would rather settle for less, hook up or just keep to that stale relationship even though they know it’s not going to work. What they don’t see is that being alone is natural, as natural as being together.
• Follow your dreams. • No compromise. You don’t have to negotiate anything! • You can live anywhere you want. You no longer need to consider other needs or desires but your own.
Moreover, solitude can be a true blessing if you have the right attitude and you know how to employ your time. If you still don’t see the joys being single bring we have drawn up our favourite points for you to embrace.
• The freedom to flirt with anyone you like. • You don’t have to put up with boring friends and annoying relatives!
• You are the only and most important person in your life! There’s nobody else you have to listen to, pay attention to, care about. Only you!
• You can stretch out all over your bed! • You can stay in your pyjamas ALL DAY LONG!
• More time for yourself. You can do all the little things that make you happy: long baths, walks, read a book or watch your favourite film on a lazy Sunday afternoon. 38
• Your good mood is yours and only yours. You don’t have to lose it if someone wakes up in a bad mood and vice versa.
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• You can have friends of the opposite sex and go out with them without having to explain. • No worries if you don’t get home on time! • You can dress up as sexy as you want and enjoy other men’s lustful looks without being afraid your boyfriend might be jealous. • You don’t have to wax unless you really want to. • You don’t have to tolerate anyone’s annoying habits! • The couch is all yours! • No more fights or awkward silences after fights. • You can have the pets that you want, as many as you want or no pets at all if you don’t want to. • You can watch Pride And Prejudice as many times as you please. • You don’t have to pretend anymore (that you like his/hers taste in music or movies or anything else). • You absolutely control your life. Every little thing that you do represents YOU and nobody else. • You get to choose everything: furniture, house, friends, the places you go, etc. • You can take a holiday at any time and go anywhere you want. • You can throw a party or attend one at any time. • You can go to bed whenever you want. • You can be happy with who you are, not with who someone else wants you to be. • You can feel complete and accomplished without being in a relationship.
• You create and respect your own working schedule. • You can become more creative as you can spend more time thinking things over.
• The mystery of mistletoe on Christmas. You never know who’s going to be your kisser.
• You can have as many dates (first dates, blind dates) as you please.
• You have the hope that you might walk out the door and bump into the man/woman of your dreams at any moment.
• You only have to cook for yourself and then only if you truly want to.
Loneliness can be much greater with someone than without. It’s natural to feel lonely from time to time when you are single but it’s awful to feel lonely when you have someone next to you.
• You don’t have to wash anyone else’s laundry or dishes! • You have more time to rethink you life, analise your decisions and make better choices.
Being single is about being satisfied and happy as an individual. You have to first master the relationship you have with yourself since this is the most enduring relationship of all. Just remember that a wonderful adult life begins only when we face the reality of our aloneness squarely.
• You don’t have to check with anyone before making plans. • You can spend as much money on shoes and makeup as you want without having to defend yourself. 39
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Delectable Dining at
The Millhouse 40
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With its beautiful, tranquil setting overlooking the gardens and Millpond, The Millhouse Hotel and Riverside Restaurant is the ideal setting to enjoy dinner on a warm sunny evening. Arriving at The Millhouse you are always guaranteed a warm welcome and nothing is ever too much trouble, dietary requests are always accommodated and menu choices are varied and excellent value for money. The food is always freshly prepared and locally sourced. We were shown to our table where we enjoyed a drink whilst mulling over the delicious looking menu, Karl (the proprietor) told us they change the menu approximately every 3 weeks to keep choices varied for guests who stay at the hotel and for regular diners, our menu had only just been introduced so we were looking forward to trying it out Crispy Shredded BBQ Beef served with a baby leaf salad and tomato concasse, was my choice of starters, presentation was perfect and the dish was an absolute pleasure on my taste buds. Home smoked duck breast on a beetroot and orange salad was the other choice again perfectly presented, the duck was thinly sliced and cooked flawlessly, a slight kick to the salad was created with a sliver of chilli in the dressing - an absolute delight. Main courses consisted of Roast Duck Legs with pan fried caramelised pears, sautéed potatoes and a cassis sauce, the duck was tender and the flavours of the pears and cassis sauce complimented the duck superbly. Swordfish Nicoise – Baked swordfish on a bed of mixed lettuce with new potatoes, olives, sun dried tomatoes, mange tout and boiled egg. The fish was meaty and an absolute joy to the palette, highly recommended. Whilst deciding whether we had room for dessert we sat back sipping our drinks enjoying the glorious views of the river with the garden lights framing it! Of course the decision was we DID have room for desserts (it would be extremely rude not to especially as The Millhouse are known to produce delicious desserts!) – and they certainly didn’t disappoint here – Pimms on a Plate (the name speakss for itself, there couldn’t be anything more refreshing on a summers evening), a salad of brunoise fruit, with pimms syrup and strawberry and lemon sorbets – if you only ever have one dessert this summer this has to be it, heaven on a plate – definitely! Kaiserschmarrn, shredded Austrian baked pancake with a selection of homemade fruits and jam another hit with the taste buds, we were definitely spoilt with the array of flavours we experienced Whether it’s a romantic meal for two, a family get together, a catch up with friends or a business meeting The Millhouse dining experience is definitely one not to be missed, with its warm welcome, perfect presentation, delicious dishes and beautiful setting. Millhouse Hotel & Riverside Restaurant Mill Road Sharnbrook Bedford MK44 1NP 01234 781678 www.millhouse-riverside.co.uk
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Cod wrapped in Bacon with Olive Oil Mash 42
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By wrapping the fish in the salty ham it will do two things: season the fish as it cooks and protect the delicate flesh of the cod at the same time
Ingredients For the Tomato Sauce 1 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, chopped 2 garlic cloves, crushed 1 tbsp red wine vinegar 1 tsp sugar 400g can chopped tomatoes 2 tsp capers, roughly chopped 50g pitted black olives, halved 2 tbsp chopped fresh flat leaf parsley For the Cod 4 150- 200g cod loin pieces 8 pieces Parma ham Squeeze lemon juice For the Mash 400g peeled potatoes 100ml olive oil 100ml milk Lemon wedges, to garnish Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
Method Preheat oven to 180C/Gas 4
In a saucepan heat the oil, add the onion and cook over a low heat for about 10 – 12 minutes until softened and barely coloured. Add the crushed garlic and stir. Then add the red wine vinegar, sugar, tomatoes, capers, olives, salt and pepper and simmer for about 20 minutes. Stir in the parsley. Meanwhile, season the cod well and wrap 2 pieces of Parma ham around each loin. Put a griddle or frying pan on a high heat with a little oil and brown the Parma ham wrapped cod pieces (approx 2 -3 minutes each side.) Add a squeeze of lemon juice over the fish whilst it’s browning. Transfer the fish to a baking sheet, put in oven and cook for about 4 – 5 minutes until just cooked through. Remove from the oven and leave to rest for a few minutes. Take any oil from the griddle or frying pan and add it to the sauce. For the olive oil mash, cut the potatoes into quarters or large chunks. Put in a pan with the olive oil and milk. Top up with water to cover. Add salt and bring to boil for 10 - 12 minutes until the potatoes are tender. Drain, reserving the liquid, Mash the potatoes, adding enough of the cooking liquid to make the mash a consistency you like. Season to taste. To serve, put a spoonful of mash on a plate. Add a large spoonful or two of the tomato sauce, then cut each loin in half at an angle and put on top of the sauce. Sprinkle with a little extra chopped parsley and serve immediately.
McGuigan Black Label Sauvignon Blanc A full-flavoured wine with the classic, generous Australian Sauvignon characters of passionfruit and cutgrass with some tantalising hints of peach. Its zesty lime aftertaste makes it a brilliant partner for food. £7.99 – Booths McGuigan Black Label Rose A luscious fruitdriven rosé, packed full of lovely ripe strawberry and sweet cherry flavours complemented by a delicate pink hue. £7.49 - Morrisons, Booths, Spar
McGuigan Classic Semillon Blanc A revolutionary wine, this fresh, crisp white resulted from a challenge by Neil McGuigan to his winemaking team to create a new style of Semillon. The aim was to create a more fruitier, immediately approachable wine that retained the citrus vibrant character, naturally low alcohol and great potential, ageing associated with this classic variety in Australia. It is packed delicious of full tropical fruit flavours and has a delicate, lemony zippy aftertaste £7.99 - Tesco, Sainsbury’s
One of the delicious recipes from the Neil McGuigan and John Torode Recipe Collection, which is available to download at www.mcguiganwines.co.uk
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Vanilla Yogurt Parfait Ingredients
Vanilla Extract 500ml Of good quality yogurt 115ml Double Cream 100g Sugar
Method Whip your cream with the sugar until it forms still peaks Add the Vanilla to your yogurt until you are happy with the flavour. Carefully fold the cream into the yogurt. Pour your mixture into a container and leave it to set overnight. Remove it from the Freezer 10 minutes before serving. We recommend serving it with a fruity compote and shortbread biscuits Serves 4
This sweet is brought to you by the Chef at The Millhouse Hotel Riverside Restaurant, Sharnbrook, Beds 44
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The Millhouse Hotel is the perfect backdrop for your special day with ample space for you and your guests to feel relaxed
Media Telesales Executive Required
Large functions marquee and beautiful conservatories Registered for civil ceremonies Tailor made food and drink packages to fit your individual needs 9 ensuite bedrooms Complete exclusivity for the day Picturesque views of the Mill Pond, fountain and countryside beyond
Remember! *Serving food all day, everyday from 12pm til 9pm* *We are still doing “Buy 1 get 1 free” on main courses every Tuesday all day, 12pm- 9pm!*
Afternoon Teas Served everyday 2-5pm, Full afternoon tea £9.95 (booking essential)
We are seeking a highly motivated sales person to join our expanding team here at Affinity and be part of this luxury lifestyle brand. You will be required to sell advertising space within our magazines. Sales experience would be although applications from outgoing individuals who organised, professional and achieve targets are welcome.
The vacancy is on a self employed, commission only basis with great earning potential for the right applicant, hours are negotiable on a part or full time basis. So if you are someone who is hungry and can achieve targets, then we want to hear from you. Please Contact: Jane Fry (Editor) jane@affinitymag.co.uk
01234 781678 info@millhouse-riverside.co.uk www.millhouse-riverside.co.uk millhouse_hotel Millhouse Hotel and Riverside Restaurant Mill Road, Sharnbrook, Bedford MK44 1NP
preferred confident, are well driven to
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Outdoor Living
Tudor 4 Seater Dining Set ÂŁ299 Dunelm
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Classic Eight Dining Set £899 Living it Up Navita Day Bed £1399 Marks & Spencer
Main Picture Belle Rattan Beaumont 2 Seat Bistro Set £279 White Stores
Bistro 2 Seat Oxford Set £299 Wovenhill
Napoli Rattan Garden Sun Loungers Set £595 Alexander Francis
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Moray Chaise£2799 Dobbies
Tarkus Dining Set £999 Dobbies
Wilmslow Dining Set £799 Dobbies Milano Dining Set £1195 Alexander Francis
Barcelona Modular Sofa Set£599 Living it Up
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G. Butler
Loft and Garage Conversion Specialist We will provide a service from planning to completion █ █ █ █ █ █
Over 23 years experience Free quotes Professional advice Design, planning & construction available All work fully insured Local business
01234 327205 07801 880557 www.loftconversionsbedfordshire.co.uk
The space above your head is the room you have always dreamed of
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Oriental Lanterns £9.95 Red Lilly
Broste Aleta Bamboo Lantern £49.95 The Scandinavian Shop
Light that Lantern Cream Metal Lantern £15.99 Swanky Maison
Globe Lantern From £59.95 Annabel James
Broste Leah Lantern £24 The Scandinavian Shop
Metal Outdoor Tealight Holder £6 Tesco
Weathered Lantern £45 Sweetpea & Willow
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Watercolour Hobnail Lanterns £14 In-Spaces
Broste Alpha Willow Lantern £17.95 The Scandinavian Shop
La Rochelle Lantern £59.95 Annabel James
Joules Lantern £10 Hintons Home
Miners Lantern £11 Coastal Home
Station Lantern £68.95 Annabel James
Broste Brenton Copper Lantern £24 The Scandinavian Shop
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Perfect Picnic 4 Person Chiller Hamper £69 Cotswold Trading
Dome Top Picknic Hamper £70 In-Spaces
Anorak Kissing Robins Hamper £95 John Lewis
Picnic Backpack £45 Hintons Home
J by Jasper Conran Wicker Picnic Basket £40 Debenhams
Wicker Picnic Hamper £49.50 Marks & Spencer
Wine Carrier £19.50 Marks & Spencer
Two Person Barrel Picnic Hamper £73 Cotswold Trading Picnic Carrier £49.50 Marks & Spencer
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All About...
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Daniele Lepore
“We caught up with Daniele Lepore, Proprietor of Estate Agents Lepore & Co, in between his house valuations” Age: 48! WOW!
Occupation: Proprietor of Lepore & Co Describe yourself in three words? Enthusiastic, passionate, and honest
Re live the day I got married! Perfect in everyway, spent with many special friends and family.
Your top three movies? Pulp Fiction, Scarface, and Le Mans
If I take a look in your fridge what would I find? Fruit, wine, yoghurt, and a bottle of champagne!
You can’t leave the house without? Car Keys and Phone!
What makes you stand out in a crowd? Friendly, approachable and my aura
If you could meet anyone in the world dead or alive who would it be and what would you say to them? Giles Villeneuve / Ayrton Senna - When did they realise they both had a God given talent
What do you do to relax? A glass of wine and chilling watching an F1 race or a decent game of football Your most extravagant purchase and why? Chronomat Breitling Watch. It's a man thing!
If you were a biscuit what would you be? Chocolate Digestive
If you could be anyone or anything what would it be? Formula 1 Race Car driver with Ferrari!
Who is your inspiration/role model? My wife, my children, my mother, my brother and my late father
Describe your ideal woman? It's got to be the wife! Simply the best!
What is the one gadget you couldn't live without? My phone!
If you were stranded on a desert island, what three items would you take with you? My phone, my watch and my sunglasses
Where do you see yourself in ten years? Running a succesful business and enjoying the finer things in life!
What would you do if you had a time machine?
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Dear Daddy Davidoff Cool Water Night Dive £50 Debenhams
Personalised Father's Day Wine Bag £9.95 Not on the High Street
Mens Jewellery by Aagaard Bracelets from £46.00 Necklaces from £50.00 Beads £19.50 Millman Bedford
Wine Bottle Kit £14.99 GettingPersonal.co.uk
Monster DiamondZ Rose Gold Headphones £250 Harrods
Watch £215 Ted Baker
For my Dad Pocket Selection £9 Hotel Chocolat
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For My Dad Collection £39 Hotel Chocolat
Vivienne Westwood Weekend Bag £450 House of Fraser
Debenhams
Johnnie Walker Blue Label Whiskey £179 Selfridges
Daddy Art Print £11 Wow Thank You
Subbuteo Bottle Opener £11.95 REDS
'Super Dad' Chocolate Bar £5.95 The Chocolate Library
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WIN! WIN! WIN!
W
e have teamed up with Hawes & Curtis the universally respected shirt maker to giveaway FOUR of their new on trend print men’s shirts.
The classic plain coloured shirt may remain as popular as ever for the office but now anything from hot air balloons to Italian gondolas are giving the wardrobe staple a sense of fun. Men are becoming more adventurous when it comes to the motifs on their shirts. The new designs from Hawes and Curtis include The Gondola Print Shirt, Pink and Grey Hot Air Balloon Shirt and a Navy and Grey Bird Print Shirt. And four lucky readers could be walking around in one of these statement print fashion shirts, all you have to do is “Tell us one of the new designs from Hawes and Curtis” and send to info@affinitymag.co.uk –Good Luck! www.hawesandcurtis.co.uk
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Treatment of the Month for Dad
The Ultimate Father’s Day Gift Y Spa Elemis Skin IQ Facial
D
oes your dad have everything? Are you stuck what to get him for Father’s Day? Then we have the ultimate present that he’ll love – The Elemis Skin IQ Facial. This is a must for any father who needs an hour of downtime and some top-of-the-range pampering.
cleansing mask was then applied to my face, which was amazing. I could feel it really getting to grips with all the daily grime and dirt that was clogging my pores, it was as if it was peeling away a whole layer of dead and weathered skin.
Available at the Y Spa at Wyboston Lakes, although called the Skin IQ Facial, don’t be deceived. This treatment not only goes to work on your tired face, but also includes a foot massage and some attention on your shoulders and scalp.
The whole treatment was finished with a strong neck rub and scalp massage making me completely relax and I am sure I fell asleep – I hope I didn’t snore! The whole treatment sends you into a state of complete relaxation and even after it had finished I was so relaxed it took me nearly half an hour to work up the energy to actually try and leave!
I sent David along to review for me - It starts with your feet being cleansed and massaged - and then works its way to your face and scalp. Using a host of Elemis products (which all smell amazing), my therapist carried out about 10 different steps on my skin.
A perfect gift for the man in your life? I believe so!
Using a cleanser that left skin feeling tingly and fresh, she removed any grease and dirt that had built up and then followed this by both warm and cooling creams. A deep 61
Elemis IQ Facial £70 Y Spa 0333 7007 667 www.yspa.co.uk
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Fry’s Footie Corner
World Cup Mania!
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start for Roy Hodgson’s men, there are not many people in the country that fancy our chances in the tournament.
The domestic football season may be over, but if you think the summer is going to be a quiet one football-wise, then you are very much mistaken as the 2014 World Cup is just around the corner. The tournament in Brazil has been beset by problems in the preparation stage, but I am sure it will still be a competition to remember.
Roy has selected a youthful squad, picking Southampton’s Luke Shaw over experienced left-back Ashley Cole and taking Ross Barkley, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Adam Lallana. In my own personal opinion, I think this is a great decision. We need to look forward and these young players are performing in the Premier League, so why not the World Cup?
The competition gets underway on Thursday 12th June with the host nation hosting Croatia, but it is two days later that will really bring excitement back home as England face Italy, particularly in Bedford with a large Italian population. The town will be divided. It is a tough
As well as facing Italy, England are in a group with South American sides Costa Rica and Uruguay and with the tournament held on their continent, Hodgson’s men may well be facing a real battle to get out of the group, particularly given the form of Liverpool front man Luis Suarez, who
irst and foremost, I would like to offer my congratulations to my daughter Jane and Affinity Magazine on their third anniversary. Happy birthday!
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will be desperate to shine on the biggest stage. There will be manager’s and scouts up and down the country tuning in to every fixture in the World Cup as they prepare their squads for the new domestic season, but if you are like me and just love the beautiful game, then the World Cup is like Christmas with up to three games a day over a four-week period. The final is on Sunday 13th July and I think you can’t look past Argentina and Brazil in terms of the teams that will go far in the tournament . We will see if I am right next month! Enjoy the World Cup
Barry Fry
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Bedford Wheels - Always on Hand to Help
B
edford Wheels in Kempston has been established for over 20 years, specialising in the supply of motorcycle tyres, car tyres and full vehicle servicing, they pride themselves on excellent customer service, professional advice and competitive prices. All the staff are friendly, helpful and qualified key personnel who attend regular training schedules to ensure their skills and attributes are deployed in all aspects of service and customer care. This is particularly important in an ever-growing technical society that has witnessed a revolution in car mechanicals and electronic applications.
Recently the reception area at Bedord Wheels has undergone a refurbishment making it a much more user friendly, comfortable place to wait. Phil Collins properitor of Bedford Wheels told us “Customer service is paramount to our business, we always endeavour to make people feel as relaxed and comfortable as possible when bringing their vehicle to us, which is especially important if the customer is a woman, Garages are predominately male dominated and this can sometimes make female customers feel intimidated or nervous, that isn’t the case at Bedford wheels where they are approachable and friendly. So whether it’s a complete service on your car or a quick tyre change whilst you wait Bedford wheels is the garage to visit. Open 6 days a week 8am – 5.30pm Bedford Wheels 56 College Street Kempston, Beds MK42 8LU 01234 216662 www.bedford-wheels.co.uk
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C&B Home and Garden Maintenance 3rd July
One o jobs to regular maintenance For all your home and garden needs
For a friendly reliable service and a free quote give us a call on 07531 491019 c-bmaintenance@hotmail.co.uk
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A BIT OF C-CLASS The new Mercedes C-Class arrives this month (June) with prices starting from ÂŁ26,855
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t launch, a choice of a 1,991 cc, four-cylinder petrol engine and a 2,143 cc, four-cylinder diesel engine will be offered, each available with a choice of sixspeed manual or seven-speed automatic gearboxes.
The new C-Class is set to be among the best-equipped cars in its class. Standard equipment fitted to every new C-Class will include an advanced and intuitive touchpad to control the entertainment functions via the centrallymounted seven-inch colour display. Enhancing comfort, Artico upholstery will be fitted as standard along with two-zone air conditioning and a media interface located in the central storage between the front seats.
A further three engine variants - the C 200 BlueTEC, C 250 BlueTEC and C 300 BlueTEC HYBRID will follow during the course of the year. Three model lines will make up the new C-Class range SE, Sport and the AMG Line. Among the equipment highlights, the Sport model adds 17-inch alloy wheels (up from 16-inch on the SE), LED headlights, lowered comfort suspension, chrome exterior trim and GarminÂŽ Map Pilot Navigation. The AMG Line adds 18-inch AMG wheels, AMG bodystyling and steering wheel, sports suspension and an Artico finish to the upper dashboard.
Practical technologies are also fitted as standard - with a reversing camera, rain sensing wipers, Attention Assist, Speedtronic cruise control, heated windscreen wiper washers, a tyre pressure monitoring system and Collision Prevention Assist Plus all appearing on the new C-Class. There's plenty of standard equipment on the new C-Class, including a reversing camera, rain-sensing wipers, 66
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Attention Assist, Speedtronic cruise control, heated windscreen wiper washers, a tyre pressure monitoring system and Collision Prevention Assist Plus as standard.
and AMG Line models, the Driving Assistance Package (£1,495) adds Distronic Plus, Blind Spot Assist, Pre-safe and Lane-Keeping Assist.
The Agility Select system is also included, allowing the driver to choose from five driving modes - Comfort, Eco, Sport, Sport+ and Individual.
Buyers of these models can also spec the Premium Pack (£1,595), which adds a panoramic glass sunroof, memory front seats, ambient interior lighting and keyless-go.
Go for a C-Class Sport, though, and you'll drive away in a car with 17-inch alloy wheels, LED headlights, lowered comfort suspension, chrome exterior trim and a Garmin sat-nav. Prices for this model start at £28,850 or £31,360 for petrol or diesel respectively
The Premium Plus Pack (£2,795) includes all the elements of the Premium pack but adds COMAND Online and the 590W Burmester Surround Sound stereo. Additional options include the AIRMATIC Agility Package (£895), which adds variable, self-levelling air suspension. You can also opt for a head-up display for £825, the Air Balance Package at £350 and a 360-degree camera (£335).
Go even higher to the AMG Line (which starts at £30,345 for the petrol, or £32,855 for the diesel) and you get 18inch AMG alloys, AMG bodystyling and steering wheel, sports suspension and an Artico finish to the upper dashboard.
The only problem you’ll be left with is what model to choose.
Although the C-Class comes with a high level of equipment as standard, Mercedes will offer a host of option packs. Buyers of the entry level SE model can select the Executive Pack (£995), which adds the sat-nav, plus heated front seats and split folding rear seats. On Sport
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To book a test drive or to find out more contact: Mercedes Benz of Bedford Ampthill Road Bedford MK42 9QZ 01234 910676
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Learning to deal with the ‘Poppins’complex P
robably most people reading this will have seen the film Mary Poppins, but just in case there a few who have somehow managed to avoid this Julie Andrews classic, it is about a magical nanny who flies in, literally, to take care of two young charges. She does that with a wonderful mix of firmness, fairness and more than a smattering of fun.
to those standards.
Of course it’s a lot easier for her as she is able to get toys to put themselves away with the clap of her hands, jump into pavement chalk drawings and have tea parties on the ceiling, which would generally help all of us in our role as parents. But when she ‘measures up’, first the children, then herself, with her ‘special’ tape measure from her even more ‘special’, bottomless, carpet bag she herself turns out to be practically perfect in every way.
The first thing to do is to start with a few truths, undeniable, inescapable truths like the fact that you are human, not superhuman. That means you will make mistakes, and also and this is the really hard one, no human can ever be perfect. Sorry but there it is in black and white on the page. But this is something many people ‘accept’ academically but find impossible to apply to their own lives.
That is often one of the major issues that I find myself addressing with clients. They somehow want to be like Mary Poppins – ‘practically perfect in every way’. The thing is they do not have her magical resources because they are real people rather than fictional characters. So they end up in a constant cycle, setting impossibly high standards for themselves and then giving themselves a really hard time when, not surprisingly, they can’t live up
It is these people that often suffer from stress, or get burn out because they are constantly busy doing things they feel they should do but always fall short of the standard they want to reach. Generally because it is a fairly impossible standard they have set for themselves anyway. Others may withdraw into themselves and become depressed and gradually stop doing things often because it is easier not to try than risk failure.
The thing with cycles is that they are often selfperpetuating, and easily become habitual thought processes that are hard to escape from, a bit like a hamster on a wheel, lots of energy is expended but you don’t really move forward.
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Easy Steps to stop the cycle
Permission NOT to be perfect The first step is to give yourself permission to be less than perfect. No matter what anybody tells you to the contrary, whoever you are, you are a unique and a special individual who has something to offer the world, even though you (like everyone else) are not and never will be perfect. Try saying it to yourself, it is true and undeniable.
won’t be loved. There may be all sorts of underlying roots to this but whatever the root cause, the first step out of this cycle is to begin to accept and love yourself, as you are right now, warts and all. But like any change this involves a decision – you must decide that you are going to love yourself. When you do that and start to follow the steps below then you will notice that you feel different, and other people will notice that you give off a different energy or vibe.
Steps to self-love • Be positive about yourself • Avoid self-criticism • Trust your own judgement • Forgive yourself when things go wrong • Treat yourself with the compassion you would show to others • Be kind to yourself making time for you and things that make you feel good
Permission to make mistakes As a teacher I often remind students that if they don’t make mistakes they are not learning. If they can do all the work that is set and get everything right, what is the point, as a teacher I would feel I need to set more challenging work? It is all too easy to stay in our comfort zone, in work, in study, in relationships, even in fun but it is good to stray out of that sometimes and try something new, even if we may make mistakes.
If we can learn to let go of who we think we should be, we may actually free ourselves to be who we really are. As a general rule when you start to hear words like should, ought, or must in your thinking about yourself then take a breath and yourself “who says?”
Permission to let yourself off the hook I have mentioned in previous articles that many of the people I work with seem to spend a lot of time and energy giving themselves a hard time. In fact they have almost complete disregard for their own feelings – people who would be sensitive and kind, concerned and caring with their friends and family members simply do not afford the same courtesy to themselves.
Positive energy We can all sense when someone feels down, and we could probably list the people we know who simply never feel good about themselves. Sometimes those people can be a bit of a drain on us, the people who are always running themselves down, worrying about everything they have to do, constantly beating themselves up over something or other, and they definitely give off a ‘vibe’ which can have an impact on others.
Instead they tell themselves that they are hopeless, that they screwed up …. again, that they let everyone down, that they will never be as good as the next person. Everyone has their own personal favourites but they are all used to the same effect, to give themselves a completely hard time a bit like beating their head against a brick wall.
So if you want to feel more positive and get rid of your own Poppins complex then start to love yourself- a good way to start could be to book a coaching session by contacting Attuned Education on 07921193479,
Why should I let go? The bottom line for these beliefs, as with so many other negative self-beliefs, is the underlying lack of belief in our own worth or value. If we aren’t perfect then maybe we
info@attunededucation.co.uk www.attunededucation.com 69
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Welcome to the musings of Yummy Mummy. Living in Bedford she is married to ‘The Husband’ and together they have 4 children - Rafferty, 9, Violet, 7, Roman, 6 and Clementine, 2. All my views are my own and are not intended to offend anyone but alas I may frustrate you as I certainly do myself and no doubt those around me at times. I would love to hear from you, your views, questions or indeed just to share your experiences of trying to be a Yummy Mummy. Email me at info@affinitymag.co.uk
I
The Naughty Step!
am opened minded and appreciate that there are plenty of parenting styles and am of the ‘each to their own’ school, well as long as it is legal and moral! But one area where I have fairly rigid ideas is discipline.
When I was a youngster I have memories of my mum smacking me and although it ‘never did me any harm’, (as so many people say), I had no intention to let history repeat itself. Very occasionally in my nine years of being a parent, I have smacked my child’s hand. It has been in reaction to danger (i.e. about to grab something hot) and I have then spent the next few hours feeling awful about it. I thought it was illegal to smack you own child however on looking it up, it is ok if the smack is ‘reasonable punishment’ and doesn’t leave a mark and you are not allowed to use an ‘implement’ (belt or cane). It seems such a grey area to me as to when the smack contravenes this ruling, the ‘implement’ part is easy however what is ‘reasonable punishment’? And some children’s skin will mark easier than others? I like to think that my ‘reaction smack’ that left no mark is ‘reasonable’; I leave off the punishment as it wasn’t this, but a reaction. In times of ‘punishment’ I will stick to my ‘no smacking’ rule. So what do we do? Luckily ‘The Husband’ and I agree we need to show a united front especially now the older children are learning to be sneaky, as if they don’t like what they hear from one of us, they quickly approach the other. One thing we insist on is in that our children have good manners and it does feel like alot of ‘nagging’ goes into achieving this, however I am pleased to say that it is paying off as most of the time the children will say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ with only the need for the odd reminder. We also ensure they write or draw thank you notes too – any objection is swiftly dropped when we say their presents will be returned! Of course they will display some awful behaviour whether it is at home or in public, but we have the same approach 70
wherever we are. Depending on what they are doing we ignore them especially if it is all done for attention, the supermarket is a great place for this when they want something and you have told them no. Sometimes the more you try and stop the ‘meltdown’ the worse it gets and my stubborn side will ensure I am even less inclined to give in! I have seen other children have tantrums in public and never join in with the ‘staring’ and ‘tutting’ disapproving bridge and I move swiftly on. When it is a situation you cannot ignore we do try reasoning with them and after reading an article, we have tried an experiment of not saying ‘no’ to them. This isn’t to say you give them everything you want, it is rather like a politicians approach! If they ask for some sweets, instead of saying no, you ask them ‘do you think that is a good idea’ or ‘what will happen to your teeth if you eat too many sweets’ to avoid giving them the sweets. This was rather challenging and we decided that sometimes you just have to say no!! We also use the naughty step/chair/corner – we opted for the corner as there is usually a corner and not always a chair or step when you are out! Although these days I think at schools they call it the ‘thinking chair’ as I suppose the word naughty isn’t very PC, however I want my children to know the difference between good and naughty/bad. Ours will have to sit here for one minute for every year in age to think about why they are there. Once the time is up we always ask them why they think they are there and they say sorry. We always end with a hug as it’s time to move on and hope they have learned from it! The naughty chair sounds quite tempting especially with the minute to match your age – 39 minutes to sit and do nothing sounds bliss!!
Yummy Mummy
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Bikini £10 Next
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A Dream Come True Huma Island Resort and Spa
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estled on a remote island in Busuanga- Palawan is The luxurious Huma Island Resort & Spa, set as a 5* Deluxe resort offering breath taking views, gracious living, untouched underwater marine life surrounded by a dozen of sunken Japanese warships and planes which is hailed as one of the top 10 best diving sites in the world.
The Huma Island Resort & Spa is a multi-million USD investment and comprises of 81 villas, each with its own individual Jacuzzi, 7 dining outlets, fitness centre, library, kids room and SPA centre with glass bottom flooring. The resort’s well-appointed guest villas and suites offer spectacular views over the turquoise colours, the pristine beach of the Diciligan Island and the sea. All villas feature contemporary and elegant design and state-of-the-art technology, including WLAN, flat-panel televisions, coffee & tea making facilities with private Jacuzzis and bathtubs, indoor and outdoor showers. 64 villas out of 81 villas are placed over the water which means the resort achieves the highest number of over water villas in the entire Philippines. In addition, the resort provides 24 hours `Villa Hosts` service to accompany and anticipate guest needs, with exclusive privileges such as 2 private sea planes. Your personal concierge will tell you all about Huma Island's history, legend and attractions. The choice is yours: relax on the island, comb the beach, visit the spa and venture into the sanctuaries of your mind, body and soul. Or set sail for the open water and neighbouring isles to enjoy fresh, new experiences. Specialty restaurants serve Italian, Asian and Lebanese cuisine, while an outstanding all-day dining restaurant is available along with fresh seafood on the grill. Enjoy lunch in a glass-walled hut, surrounded by the sweeping ocean panorama or dine on a hilltop under a blanket of stars. A holiday destination where dreams come true on a dream island! Prices start from $930 for a water villa and from $1000 for a beach villa for dates between June 2014 to September 2014. For bookings, please email reservation@humaisland.com or call +63 999 886 2510 or +632 553 0119 www.humaisland.com 72
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Goodbye Grey Skies, Hello Blue!
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Happy Days are Here Again! Happy Days are here again with the premiere of a brand new UK tour based on the hit TV series, featuring the unforgettable 'King of Cool' Arthur 'The Fonz' Fonzarelli. Based on the hit Paramount Pictures’ television series, HAPPY DAYS – A New Musical reintroduces one of America’s best loved families, the Cunninghams, and the rest of the gang - Potsie, Ralph Malph, Joanie and Chachi The famed drive-in malt shop and number one hangout, Arnold’s, is in danger of demolition, in a race against time, can everyone's favourite hero 'The Fonz' save the day? The gang teams up to save it with a dance contest and tv-worthy wrestling match, but will it be enough? This perfectly family-friendly musical will have you rockin’ and rollin’ all week long! Happy Days is written by Garry Marshall, the legendary creator of the television series. Henry Winkler, the original Fonz from the television series will serve as Creative Consultant, working alongside the director in creating the Happy Days world of 1959 America and bringing us the Happy Days we remember! By the end of the show, Happy Days will have you on your feet and feeling warm and fuzzy with nostalgia! Milton Keynes Theatre Mon 16th – Sat 21st June 0844 871 7652 www.atgtickets.com/miltonkeynes
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What’s on June 2014
Tues 3rd – Sat 14th June West Side Story Milton Keynes Theatre Based on Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet and packed with unforgettable songs including Maria, Tonight, Somewhere, America and I Feel Pretty, West Side Story has been described as 'one of the towering achievements of musical theatre of the last century 0844 871 7652 www.atgtickets.com/miltonkeynes
Fri 6th June First Friday Club Wyboston Lakes Hotel "Good food, live music and good times..." The First Friday Club” (TFFC) in the Waterfront Lounge, on the first Friday of each month. The night showcases live music from local bands and musicians across the region. The night promises to be a mix of fun, good food, live music and good times. Entry is always free and the evening starts from 7pm www.wybostonlakes.co.uk/waterfront-bar
Weds 4th June ‘Blooming Great Tea Party’ in the Mayor’s Parlour 12pm 3.30pm Visit the Mayor’s Parlour (no entry charge) and view historic Bedford Borough documents, maps, mayoral ceremonial robes. Enjoy Blooming Great Tea Party refreshments tea/coffee, cakes, biscuits, etc All profits in aid of Marie Curie Cancer Care. 01234 771952
Sat 7th – Sun 8th June Woburn Abbey Country Fair – 10am – 6pm With three main show arenas, the biggest being the Andy Singleton Arena for performers who need space to showcase their skills, from dare-devil stunts, fast and furious Scurry Racing, daring Dog Displays to the majestic Falconry. The countyside Arena is a smaller more intimate arena, perfect to watch and enjoy a wide range of country sports such as long netting, ferret racing, gundog displays from some of the United Kingdoms top Countrymen and women. The Falconry Village and Arena, hosts a fabulous array of native and exotic birds of prey where children get close and personal with our free have a go sessions www.livingheritagecountryshows.co.uk
Fri 6th June Boyband Legends Tribute Night – 7.30pm -12.30am Whittlebury Hall Hotel If you love your boy bands, this is a celebration of the very best. From "New Kids" to "Backstreet Boys" from "5ive" to "Take That", all the classic boyband hits are here back to back with this exciting show.Enjoy an evening of floor fillers, and great food and drink with a three-course dinner, a half bottle of house wine and two complimentary drinks vouchers per person. £49 per person including a three-course set dinner, half bottle of house wine, two complimentary drinks vouchers and entertainment. www.whittleburyhall.co.uk
Thurs 12th June New Summer Menu Tasting The Embankment, Bedford Be the first to try out the lovely dishes on our superb new summer menu. Get an exclusive sneak preview of what Sam Collins has in store for summer, from light fresh salads and simple pan fried seasonal fish to the best of the season’s crop of summer berries and fruits. There’ll be a wonderful six course tasting menu for £35 a head with wine. www.embankmentbedford.co.uk
Fri 13th July Sunset Cruise on the Ouse The Swan Hotel, Bedford Champagne, canapes, cruising on The Ouse, the perfect way to watch the sunset. This evening cruise on The River Ouse, departs at 6.30pm, ready to watch the sun go down. Only £25 per person (2 hour boat trip, canapes and Champagne. (Full bar on board) www.bedfordswanhotel.co.uk
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Sat 14th June Odell Village Fete and Family Dog Show – 2pm. There will be many attractions including, Bouncy Castle, Gift and Bottle Stall. Tombola, White Elephant, side shows, Pimms, Children’s Sports, ice creams Bedford Brass Band and refreshments. Adults £1.50, Children Free 01933 410959 or email jane@eshelby.co.uk Dog Show Classes and for more information go to www.odellbeds.net
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Fri 20th June Take That Tribute Night 7.30pm – 1am Wyboston Lakes Hotel T¬ree course dinner, Live entertainment and disco £39.50 per person (includes event ticket and a ½ bottle of wine) www.wybostonlakes.co.uk
Sat 21st June Rose Queen Fete 2pm John Donne Lower School and St Edmunds or St James Church Many traditional stalls and attractions, such as the Pimms tent, cream teas, cakes, garden produce, together with modern attractions of a BBQ, bouncy castle, coconut shy, hook a duck and lob a loo roll! John Donne Lower School on 01767 640346 Sun 22nd June Annual Bedfordshire Italian Car & Bike Day 11am – 4pm The Sharnbrook Hotel If you have a sexy Italian model in your garage or on your driveway and would like to have others admiring her beauty Please email Ciro at info@thesharnbrookhotel.com to register your car/bike and therefore free entry to our event for the car, driver & passengers/pillion. All we need is your name, contact number & vehicle make & model www.thesharnbrookhotel.com Thurs 26th June A Night with Valrhona The Embankment, Bedford If your idea of heaven is chocolate, don’t miss this wickedly indulgent night! The experts who send us their wonderful Valrhona chocolate will be showing off their skills as master chocolatiers while we’ll lay on a special three course dinner
with some sweet and savoury delights. £40 per person including wine www.embankmentbedford.co.uk
Sat 28th June 70’s and 80’s Tribute Night The Sharnbrook Hotel Come and join us for the sounds of the 70’s and 80’s with a live band and disco, includes buffet, dessert and coffee £25 per person www.thesharnbrookhotel.com Sun 29th June Harrold Open Gardens 1.30pm – 6.00pm Many lovely gardens to view. Vintage and Classic Car Display, Ukulele Band, Cake Stall,Tea, coffee, home-made cakes Start at Harrold Green for programmes
Tues 1st – Sat 5th July Horrible Histories, Barmy Britain The Royal and Derngate, Northampton We all want to meet people from history. The trouble is everyone is dead! So it’s time to prepare yourselves forHorrible Histories, live on stage with a brand new show, Barmy Britain, featuring all-new, amazing 3D effects! Can you beat battling Boudicca? Has William Wallace met his match? Would you lose your heart or head to horrible Henry? Can evil Elizabeth entertain England? Will Parliament survive gunpowder Guy? Can King Charles keep his head? Would you stand and deliver to dastardly Dick Turpin? Escape the clutches of Burke and Hare, move to the groove with Party Queen Victoria and prepare to do battle in the frightful First World War. www.royalandderngate.co.uk
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A quiet night in... A Ghost at the Door by Michael Dobbs Tell me about your father.' Five short, razor-edged words that rip the world of Harry Jones to pieces. He barely knew his father Johnnie and hated what little he did know, yet no man is able to escape the shadows of the past. Harry has already lost almost everything - his seat in parliament, his reputation, his fortune. There is little left apart from his love for the headstrong Jemma, and now he must risk losing her and even his own life to uncover the truth about his dead father. What starts as a gentle enquiry uncovers a trail of murder and guilt-ridden love that dates back to Johnnie's student days. Harry's search leads from a burning house in Bermuda to a graveyard in Greece, from the croquet lawns of his father's Oxford college to the altar of one of Wren's finest London churches. At every turn Harry discovers that the childhood world he thought he knew, was false, along with almost everyone in it. Only when he confronts his own death does he realize that all along he's been used as a pawn in a far larger game.
Release Date: 2nd June
Edge of Tomorrow Tom Cruise gets caught in a time loop battling savage alien invaders in this mind-bending sci-fi action spectacular! An unstoppable alien race known as the Mimics are swarming over the Earth, leaving a trail of total devastation. With mankind on the edge of extinction, the world's armies unite for a desperate last stand against this relentless onslaught. Lt. Col. Bill Cage (Tom Cruise) has never seen combat, but finds himself hurled into the conflict and killed within minutes. Then the impossible happens. Cage awakes at the beginning of this nightmare day and has to fight and die again. And again. But with each rebirth alongside Special Forces warrior Rita Vrataski (Emily Blunt), he finds his battle skills improving. Now victory finally seems like a possibility. Hollywood megastar Tom Cruise teams up with 'The Bourne Identity' director Doug Liman for this thrill-packed slice of explosive sci-fi. Release Date: 30th May
Jack Ryan Shadow Recruit The story follow a young Jack (Chris Pine) as he uncovers a financial terrorist plot. The story follows him from 9/11, through his tour of duty in Afghanistan, which scarred him forever, and into his early days in the Financial Intelligence Unit of the modern CIA where he becomes an analyst, under the guardianship of his handler, Harper (Kevin Costner). When Ryan believes he’s uncovered a Russian plot to collapse the United States economy, he goes from being an analyst to becoming a spy and must fight to save his own life and those of countless others, while also trying to protect the thing that's more important to him than anything, his relationship with his fiancÊe Cathy (Keira Knightley).
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Affinity
Wedding Showcase
SUNDAY 2nd NOVEMBER 2014
Spectacular Fashion Show
THE CORN EXCHANGE St Paul's Square Bedford, MK40 1LE
Doors Open:
11am - 4pm FREE entry, bubbles, canapĂŠs and goodie bag Plus a free copy of Affinity Weddings Magazine for all Brides! Everything you need for the perfect wedding all under one roof
www.affinitymag.co.uk
jane@affinitymag.co.uk
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MAY 2014 ISSUE 36
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