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Verlegt von: Ahmad Alomari
ا ق ٢٠٠٨م ISBN: 978-9957-8636-0-9
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ﻤﻁﺎﺒﻊ ﺠﺎﻤﻌﺔ ﺍﻝﺭﻭﺭ
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ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﻴﻭﺱ ﺍﻷﺴﻁﻭﺭﺓ ،ﺍﻝﻤﻠﺤﻤﺔ ،ﺍﻝﻤﻌﺎﻨﺎﺓ ،ﺤﺎﻜﻬﺎ ﻫﻭﻤﻴﺭﻭﺱ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺌﺔ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﺒﻌﺔ ﻗﺒل ﺍﻝﻤﻴﻼﺩ ...ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﻴﻭﺱ ﻤﻠﻙ ﺠﺯﻴﺭﺓ ﺇﻴﺘﺎﻜـﺎ ،ﺃﺤـﺩ ﻤﻠﻭﻙ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻨﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﺫﻴﻥ ﺴﺎﻫﻤﻭﺍ ﺒﺈﺴﻘﺎﻁ ﻁـﺭﻭﺍﺩﺓ ،ﻭﺼـﺎﺤﺏ ﻓﻜـﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﺤﺼﺎﻥ ،ﺤﺼﺎﻥ ﻁﺭﻭﺍﺩﺓ. ﺘﺭﻙ ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﻴﻭﺱ ﻁﺭﻭﺍﺩﺓ ﺒﺎﻝﻨﺎﺭ ﻭﺍﻝﺠﻤﺎﺭ ﻤﻨﺘﺼﺭﺍ ﻤـﻊ ﺠﻨـﻭﺩﻩ، ﺭﻜﺏ ﺍﻝﺒﺤﺭ ﻴﻨﻭﻱ ﺠﺯﻴﺭﺘﻪ ،ﻤﻤﻠﻜﺘﻪ ،ﺒﻴﻨﻭﻝﻭﺒﻪ ...ﺯﻭﺠﺘﻪ ،ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜـﻥ ﻁﺭﻴﻘﻪ ﺴﻬﻠﺔ ﻤﻴﺴﺭﺓ ،ﻻ ﺒل ﻜﻠﻬﺎ ﻋﻘﺒﺎﺕ ﻭﻤﻌﺎﻨﺎﺓ ،ﺍﺴﺘﻤﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻀﻴﺎﻋﻪ ﻭﻤﻌﺎﻨﺎﺘﻪ ﻋﺸﺭ ﺴﻨﻴﻥ ﻭﻫﻲ ﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻗـﻀﺎﻫﺎ ﻓـﻲ ﺤـﺼﺎﺭ ﻁﺭﻭﺍﺩﺓ ،ﺒﺴﺒﺏ ﻏﻀﺏ ﺍﻹﻝﻪ ﺒﻭﺴﺎﻴﺩﻥ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻷﻨﻪ ﻓﻘﺄ ﻋﻴﻥ ﻭﻝـﺩﻩ... ﺼﺎﺭ ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﻴﻭﺱ ﻭﺍﺴﻤﻪ ﺭﻤﺯﺍ ﻝﻜل ﻤﻌﺎﻨﺎﺓ ﻁﻭﻴﻠﺔ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﺸﻌﻭﺏ ﺍﺸﺘﻘﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺍﺴﻤﻪ ﺍﻷﻭﺩﻴﺴﺔ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻷﻭﺩﻴﺴﻴﺔ ﻜﺎﺴﻡ ﻝﻜل ﻤﻌﺎﻨﺎﺓ ...ﻭﻫـﺫﻩ ﻫﻲ ﻤﻌﺎﻨﺎﺘﻲ ...ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ.
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻫﺎﺝ ﺸﻭﻗﻲ ﺍﻝﺨﺯﻴﻥ ،ﻁﺭﺏ ﻭﻻﺡ ﺭﺴﻤﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺒـﺎﻗﻲ ﺃﻤـﺎﻤﻲ ﻭﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﻴﺵ ﻓﻲ ﻋﺎﻝﻤﻲ ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ﻋﻨﻲ ﻤﺠﻨﻭﻥ. ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﺃﺭﺴﻡ ﻝﻭﺤﺘﻲ ،ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﻴﺸﻬﺎ ،ﻭﺃﻥ ﺘﻜـﻭﻥ ﻭﺍﻗﻌﻲ ،ﻨﺨﻴل ﺍﻝﺒﺴﺘﺎﻥ ،ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ،ﺍﻝﺸﺠﺭ ﻭﺍﻝﺠﺒل ...ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﻬﺎ، ﻤﺘﺴﻘﺔ ﺃﺴﻨﺎﻨﻬﺎ ﻴﻁﻴﺏ ﺍﻝﺴﻭﺍﻙ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺤﻙ ﻨﻭﺍﺠﺫﻫﺎ ،ﺍﻝﺒﻠﺢ ﻨﻜﻬﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﺭﻗﺩ ﺍﻝﺤﺴﻥ ...ﺃ ﺭﻗﻬﺎ ﻨﻭﺡ ﺍﻝﺫﺌﺎﺏ ،ﻭﺠﻨﺘﻴﻬﺎ ﺒﻴﻀﺎﺀ ﺘﺘﺨﻠﻠﻬﺎ ﺨﻁﻭﻁ ﺍﻝﻐﺭﻭﺏ ﺨﺠﻼ ،ﺘﺘﻤﺎﻴل ﺒﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﻜﺜﻴﻑ ﻴﻤﻨﺢ ﺍﻷﻜﺘﺎﻑ ﻁﻴﺒﺎ ﻭﺍﻨﺴﻴﺎﺒﺎ، ﻨﺎﻋﻤﺔ ،ﻤﻤﺸﻭﻗﺔ ﻏﺴل ﺠﻴﺩﻫﺎ ﻤﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻨﺒﻊ ﻴﻌﻁﻲ ﺨـﺼﺭﻫﺎ ﺤﺯﺍﻤـﺎ، ﻤﺭﺩﺍﺀ ﺘﻀﻌﻑ ﺍﻝﺸﻤﺱ ﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺇﺫﺍ ﻤـﺭﺕ ﺒﺭﺍﺒﻌـﺔ ﺍﻝﻨﻬـﺎﺭ ﻭﺒـﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻭﺩﻴﺎﻥ ...ﻋﻔﻴﻔﺔ ﻻ ﺘﺘﻤﻠﻕ ،ﺤﺭﺓ ﻭﺇﻥ ﺁﻝﺕ ﺒﻬﺎ ﺍﻷﻴﺎﻡ ،ﻜﺭﻴﻤﺔ ﻻ ﺘﻜﺜﺭ ﺍﻝﻜﻼﻡ ﻭﺍﻝﻀﺤﻙ ﻭﻻ ﻋﺎﻨﺱ ...ﻁﻔﻠﺔ ،ﻨﺎﻋﻤﺔ ﺍﻷﻨﺎﻤل ﻜﺎﻝﺩﻤﻴﺔ ﺘﻤﺜـﺎل ﻨﺎﻋﺱ ...ﻏﺯﺍﻝﺔ ﻤﻨﻔﺭﺩﺓ ﺒﻤﺭﻋﺎﻫﺎ ﻤﺭﺘﻌﻬﺎ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻷﺠﺎﻭﻴﺩ ﻭﺸﺎﻤﺔ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﻔﻼﺓ ،ﺼﺎﺒﺭﺓ ﻭﺠﺎﺭﻭﺍ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﺸﻕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺯﺠﺎﺝ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻝﻌﻤﻭﻤﺔ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻷﻋﺭﺍﺱ ...ﻤﺭﺍﻗﺏ ﺠﺎﻝﺱ. ﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﺨﻁ ﻀﻔﺎﻑ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ،ﻭﺃﺭﻯ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻑ ﻝﻭﺤﺘﻲ ﺜﻭﺏ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻜﺄﻨﻪ ﺜﻭﺏ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻭﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺴﺄل ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﺃﻭ ﺃﻓﻜﺭ ﺫﻫﺒﺕ 10
ﻨﺤﻭﻩ ﻴﺘﻁﺎﻴﺭ ﺘﺠﺭﻩ ﺍﻝﺭﻴﺎﺡ ﻤﻥ ﺸﺠﺭﺓ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻭﺭﺩﺓ ،ﺭﺃﻴﺕ ﺒـﻪ ﻭﺠـﻪ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﻗﻁﻌﺕ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻀﻊ ﺃﻝﻭﺍﻨﻪ ﺒﻌﺩ ...ﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﺭﻜـﺽ ﻭﺍﻝﺭﻴﺢ ﺃﺴﺭﻉ ﻤﻨﻲ ،ﻭﺒﻌﺯﻴﻤﺔ ﺍﻝﺜﻭﺍﺭ ،ﺍﻝﻬﺎﺭﺒﻴﻥ ﻗﻤﺕ ﺃﺴﺎﺭﻉ ﺍﻝﺭﻴﺢ، ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﺎﻝﺜﻭﺏ ﻴﻤﺴﻙ ﺒﺄﻁﺭﺍﻑ ﺍﻝﺸﺠﺭﺓ ،ﺍﻝﺘﻘﻁﺘﻪ ﻭﻀﻤﻤﺘﻪ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﻗﻠﺒـﻲ ﻭﻗﺒﻠﺘﻪ ،ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺒﺭﺤﻴﻘﻬﺎ ﺭﺤﺕ ﺒﺒﺼﺭﻱ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺍﻷﻤـﺎﻡ ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﺎﻝﺸﺠﺭﺓ ﻫﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺤﻜﺕ ﻭﺨﻁﺕ ﺼﻔﺤﺎﺕ ﻋﻨﻲ ﻭﻋﻨﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻜﻡ ﺸﻬﺩﺕ ﺃﺸﻭﺍﻗﻨﺎ ،ﺫﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﻠﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﺒﻨﻔﺴﺠﻲ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺠﺩﻩ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺠﻤﻭﻋﺔ ﺃﻝﻭﺍﻨﻲ ﻭﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺇﻻ ﺒﺸﻔﺎﻓﻴﺔ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ...ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﻲ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺘﺘﺨﻠل ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻠـﻭﻥ، ﺘﺭﻜﺽ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﻘل ﺍﻝﻤﻁل ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ،ﺘﻠﺒﺱ ﺜﻭﺒﺎ ﺃﻫﺩﻴﺘﻪ ﻝﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻴﺩ ﻴﻭﻡ ﺘﻌﺎﺭﻓﻨﺎ ،ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻷﺒﻴﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻔﺎﻑ ﺤﺎﻭل ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺴﺭﻕ ﺸﻴﺌﺎ ﻤـﻥ ﺠﻤﺎﻝﻬﺎ ،ﺭﻜﻀﺕ ﻭﻫﻭ ﻴﺘﻁﺎﻴﺭ ﺨﻠﻔﻬﺎ ،ﺫﺍﺘﻪ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺸﻤﻤﺕ ﺭﺍﺌﺤﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼﻝﻪ ،ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﺭﺘﺩﻴﻪ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ...ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻋﺩﻭ ﺨﻠﻔﻬﺎ ﻝﺤﻅﺔ ﺘﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻲ ﺘﻨﺘﻅﺭ ﻭﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺘﺨﺘﻔﻲ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻷﻨﻅﺎﺭ. ﺭﺠﻌﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻝﻭﺤﺘﻲ ،ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﺃﻜﻤل ﺃﻝﻭﺍﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻝـﻡ ﺃﺘﻤﻤـﻪ، ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﺭﺍﻩ ﺭﻏﻡ ﻋﺩﻡ ﺍﻜﺘﻤﺎل ﺃﻝﻭﺍﻨﻪ ،ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﻘﺩﻤﻴﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻴﺎﻫﻪ، ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﺸﻔﺎﻓﻴﺔ ﺍﻷﻝﻭﺍﻥ ﻜﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﺤﻘﻴﻘﺔ ،ﺃﻝﻭﺍﻥ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻋﻁﺭ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻭﺭﺍﺌﺤﺘﻬﺎ. ﻭﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻓﻘﺩ ﺍﻷﻤل ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺃﻤﺸﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻑ ﺍﻝﻨﻬـﺭ ﺃﺒﺤـﺙ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ،ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﺸﻲﺀ ﻴﺴﻴﺭ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ،ﺍﺴﺘﺩﺭﺕ ﻝﻠﺨﻠﻑ ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒـﻪ ﻁﻴـﺭ 11
ﺃﺒﻴﺽ ﻭﺃﻝﻭﺍﻥ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺓ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺠﻤﻭﻋﺔ ﺃﻝﻭﺍﻨﻲ ،ﻝـﻡ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺃﺠﻤـل ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ،ﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﻤﻌﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﻓﻴﻪ ،ﺫﻭ ﺍﻝﻌﻨﻕ ﺍﻝﻁﻭﻴل ...ﻨﻅـﺭﺓ ﺒﻌﻴﻨﻴـﻪ ﺒﻌﻤﻕ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺭﺃﻴﺕ ﻭﺠﻬﻲ ﺒﻤﻘﻠﺘﻴﻪ ﻭﻫﻭ ﻴﺤﺩﻕ ﺒﻲ ﻤﺜل ﻓﺘﺎﺓ ﺠﻤﻴﻠﺔ، ﺘﻌﻤﻘﺕ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻪ ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﻪ ﻓﺘﺎﺓ ﺃﻨﻴﻘﺔ ،ﺭﺍﺡ ﺠﻤﺎﻝﻬﺎ ﻴﺤﺎﻭﺭﻨﻲ ﻭﻴﺴﺄﻝﻨﻲ، ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﻭﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻓﺼﺢ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺒﺸﻲﺀ ﻋﻨﻲ" :ﺃﺘﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ؟" ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺨﻴﻠﺘﻲ ﺒﻌﻴﺩﺍ ﻋﻥ ﺠﻤﺎﻝﻬﺎ ﻭﺃﻝﻭﺍﻨﻬﺎ ﻭﺘﺼﻭﺭﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﻐـﺩﺍﺩ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﻀﻤﻤﺘﻬﺎ ﺇﻝﻲ ﻤﻌﺘﻘﺩﺍ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﻫﻲ ...ﻝـﻡ ﺃﺸـﺘﻡ ﺭﺍﺌﺤﺘﻬـﺎ ﻭﻻ ﻱ ﺠﺴﺩﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﻋﻡ ﻋﻠﻲ ﺃﺤﺴﻬﺎ ،ﻗﺭﺭﺕ ﺍﻝﻨﻅـﺭ ﺭﺤﻴﻘﻬﺎ ﻭﻻﻤﺴﺕ ﺒﻴﺩﺍ ﻤﻥ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻭﺠﻬﻬﺎ ،ﻭﻓﻭﺠﺌﺕ ﺒﺄﻨﻲ ﻤـﺎ ﺯﻝـﺕ ﺒﺎﺤﺜـﹰﺎ ﻋﻨﻬـﺎ... ﻭﺭﺍﻓﻘﺘﻨﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻤل ﺍﻝﻌﺜﻭﺭ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻭﻀﻌﺕ ﻴﺩﻴﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻋﻴﻨﺎﻱ ﻭﻗﺎﻝﺕ: "ﺇﺫﻫﺏ ﻤﻌﻲ ﺒﺭﻭﺤﻙ ﻭﺍﻝﺠﺴﺩ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺘﻔﻜﻴﺭ ﺃﻭ ﺘﻌﺒﻴﺭ" ﻭﺠﺩﺕ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﺒﻤﻨﺤﺩﺭ ﺠﺒل ﺃﺨﻀﺭ ﻴﻜﺎﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﺠﻨـﺔ ،ﻓﻴـﻪ ﺃﻁﻔﺎل ﺃﺠﻤل ﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﺕ ﻋﻴﻨﻲ ﻭﻜل ﺍﻝﻨﺴﺎﺀ ﺘﺭﺘﺩﻱ ﺜﻭﺏ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺍﻷﺒﻴﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻔﺎﻑ ،ﺸﻌﺭﻫﻥ ﺃﺤﻤﺭ ﻜﺜﻴﻑ ﻤﺜل ﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ ،ﻭﻋﻴـﻭﻨﻬﻥ ﻋـﺴﻠﻴﺎﺕ ﻝﻭﺯﻴﺎﺕ ﻤﺜل ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺤﺎﺠﺏ ﺫﻭ ﺸﻜل ﻭﻝﻭﻥ ﻴﻌﺒﺭ ﻋﻥ ﺸﺨـﺼﻴﺘﻬﺎ، ﻭﺸﻔﺘﺎﻥ ﻤﺜل ﺸﻔﺘﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﺭﺴﻭﻤﺘﺎﻥ ﺒﺭﻴﺸﺘﻲ ﻭﺒﺄﻝﻭﺍﻥ ﻁﺒﻴﻌﻴﺔ ...ﻋﺎﻨﻘـﺕ ﻜل ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻤﻨﻬﻥ ﻭﻀﻤﻤﺘﻬﻥ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺼﺩﺭﻱ ،ﻗﺒﻠﺘﻬﻥ ،ﻭﻝﻜﻥ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺒﻴﻨﻬﻥ ،ﻓﺭﻭﻨﻘﻬﺎ ﻭﺭﺤﻴﻘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻤﺎﺯﺍل ﻓﻲ ﺃﻨﻔﻲ ﻭﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﺕ ﺃﺸﺘﻤﻪ ﻝـﻡ 12
ﻴﻜﻥ ﺒﻴﻨﻬﻥ ...ﻜل ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺍﻋﺘﻘﺩﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺘﺠﻤل ﻝﻭﺤﺘﻲ ...ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ﺃﺠﻤل ﻤﻥ ﻜل ﻝﺤﻅﺔ ﻭﺤﻴﻥ.
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﺘﺄﺘﻲ ﺨﻴﺒﺔ ﺍﻷﻤل ﺃﺴﺭﻉ ﻤﻥ ﺘﻭﻗﻌﻲ ،ﻴﺭﻯ ﻭﺠﻬﻲ ﻤـﺭﺓ ﺃﺠﻤـل ﺍﻝﻭﺠﻭﻩ ،ﻭﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻴﺭﻯ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻝﻭﻋﺔ ،ﺤﻴﺭﺓ ،ﻭﻀﻴﺎﻉ ...ﻴﺭﺍﻗﺒﻨﻲ ﺫﻝـﻙ ﺍﻝﻁﻴﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻭﺠﺩﺕ ﺒﻐـﺩﺍﺩ ...ﻫـﻭ ﻴﻌﻠـﻡ ﺒـﺄﻨﻲ ﺴﺄﻓﺸل ...ﻴﻨﺎﻭﺭ ﻋﻥ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺠﺩ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺨﻴﺎﻻﺘﻲ ،ﺃﺭﺍﻫﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺠﺎﻨﺒﻲ ﻤﻭﺍﺴﻴﺔ ﻝﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻤل ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻫﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺤﺏ ،ﺃﻀﻤﻬﺎ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺼﺩﺭﻱ ﺃﺒﻜﻲ ،ﺘﺒﺩﺃ ﻓﻲ ﻜﻼﻤﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﻋﻡ ﺘﻬﺩﺉ ﻤﻥ ﺭﻭﻋﻲ ،ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﻋﺴﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺒﺎﺩﻝﻬﺎ ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﻫﺎ ...ﻝﻜﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻝﺤﺴﻥ ﺍﻝﺤـﻅ ﻴـﺼﻌﺏ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﺸﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻌﻅﻡ ﺍﻷﺤﻴﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﺘﺤﻜﻡ ﺒﻬﺎ ...ﻻ ﺃﻋﻠﻡ ﻗﺩ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻝﺴﻭﺀ ﺍﻝﺤﻅ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ. ﻓﻲ ﺨﻀﻡ ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﻱ ﺍﻝﺨﻠﻴﻁﺔ ...ﺤﺯﻥ ،ﺤﻴﺭﺓ ،ﺤـﺏ ﻭﻋﻁـﻑ، ﻭﺠﺩﺕ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺤﺎﻓﺔ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﺃﺴﻤﻊ ﺼﻭﺕ ﻤـﻥ ﺒﻌﻴـﺩ، ﺒﺤﺜﺕ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺍﺘﺠﺎﻩ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻁﺎل ﻨﻅﺭﻱ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺠﺒل ﺒﻌﻴﺩ ﻴﺼﻌﺏ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﻲ ،ﺃﺭﻯ ﺍﺒﺘـﺴﺎﻤﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﺸﺭ ﺍﻝﻭﺼﻭل ﺇﻝﻴﻪ ،ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺘﻘﻑ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ...ﺘﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝ ﺍﻝﻌﺭﻴﻀﺔ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﻓﺎﺕ ،ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺭﺍﻫﺎ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﻘﻠﺒـﻲ ﻗـﺩ ﺘﻭﻗﻑ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﺒﺽ ﻜﺄﻨﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺼﻌﺩ ﻜﻬﺭﺒﺎﺌﻲ ﻴﻨﺯل ﺒـﺴﺭﻋﺔ ﻓﺎﺌﻘـﺔ ﻝﻸﺴﻔل ...ﺍﻝﻭﺼﻭل ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻤـﺴﺘﺤﻴل ،ﺃﺘﻤﻨﺎﻫـﺎ ﻋـﺎﺠﺯﺍ ﻋـﻥ ﺍﻻﻗﺘﺭﺍﺏ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ،ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺼﻭﺕ ،ﺼﻭﺕ ﺍﻝﻁﺎﺌﺭ ...ﺍﻝﻔﺘﺎﺓ ﺍﻝﺠﻤﻴﻠﺔ، 15
ﺘﻘﻭل" :ﺒﺈﺭﺍﺩﺓ ﺍﻝﺤﺒﻴﺏ ﺴﺘﺼل ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ" ﻭﺍﺼﻠﺕ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﻝﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻭﺃﺴـﺄل ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﺒﻠﻬﻔﺔ ﻭﺤﻴﺭﺓ ،ﻜﻴﻑ ...؟ ﺃﺠﺎﺒﺘﻨﻲ" :ﻴﺠﺏ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺘﻭﺍﻓﻕ ﻭﺃﺭﺍﺩﺘﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ...ﺃﻓﻌل ﻤﺎ ﺘﺭﻴﺩ ،ﺴﺘﺼل ﺇﻝﻰ ﻤﺎ ﺘﺭﻴﺩ" ﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﻗﻔﺯ ﻭﺃﺭﻜﺽ ﻤﺜل ﺇﻨﺴﺎﻥ ﺒﻘﻭﺓ ﺨﺎﺭﻗـﺔ ،ﺤﺘـﻰ ﺍﻝﻘﻔـﺯﺓ ﺍﻷﺨﻴﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﻘﻑ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ،ﻭﻗﻊ ﺒـﺼﺭﻱ ﺃﺜـﺭ ﻗـﺩﻤﻴﻬﺎ، ﻨﻬﻀﺕ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﺒﺩﻗﺎﺕ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﺍﻝﺸﺩﻴﺩﺓ ﺠﺩﺍ ،ﺭﻓﻌﺕ ﺭﺃﺴـﻲ ﻋـﻥ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﺸﻴﺌﺎ ﻓﺸﻴﺌﺎ ،ﻓﺭﺅﻴﺎ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻭﻻﺩﺓ ﺠﺩﻴﺩﺓ ،ﻋﻤـﺭ ﻨﻀﻴﺭ ،ﺨﺭﻭﺝ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﻭﻤﻥ ﺍﻵﻓﺎﻕ ...ﻤﻌﺎﺼﺭﺓ ﻴﺠﺏ ﻋﻠـﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻫﻴﺊ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻝﻬﺎ. ﺃﻗﺘﺭﺏ ﻭﺃﺒﺘﻌﺩ ﺒﺒﺼﺭﻱ ،ﻓﻔﻲ ﻜل ﻨﺒﻀﺔ ﺒﻘﻠﺒﻲ ﺃﻤل ﻜﺒﻴﺭ ﻭﺤـﺏ، ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ﻴﺼﻌﺏ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻹﻨﺴﺎﻥ ﺨﻁﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻭﺭﻗﺔ .ﻓﻲ ﻤﺭﻤﻰ ﻨﻅﺭﻱ ﻝـﻡ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺃﺤﺩﺍ ،ﺃﻤﻌﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﺜﻕ ﺒﺒﺼﺭﻱ ،ﺒﺩﺃ ﺍﻝﺨﻭﻑ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻴﺭﺍﻭﺩﻨﻲ ﻭﻴﻐﺯﻭﻨﻲ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﺠﺩﻫﺎ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻲ ،ﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﺒﺤﺙ ﺒـﺴﺭﻋﺔ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﻴﺴﺎﺭ ﻭﺍﻝﻴﻤﻴﻥ ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﻜل ﺠﻬﺔ ﻴﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺒـﺼﺭﻱ ﺍﻝﻭﺼـﻭل ﺇﻝﻴﻬـﺎ، ﺃﺭﻓﺽ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺨﻴﺏ ﺃﻤﻠﻲ ،ﺘﻤﻌﻨﺕ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺎﺕ ،ﻝﻜﻥ ﺨﻭﻓﻲ ﺃﻜـﺩﻩ ﺤﺩﺓ ﺒﺼﺭﻱ ...ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ.
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ﺍﺨﺘﻔﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ ،ﻭﻤﻥ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ ﻋﺎﺩﺕ ﻤﻌﺎﻨﺎﺘﻲ ...ﻭﻏﺭﺯ ﺇﺒﺭﻫﺎ... ﺃﻨﺎ ،ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﻱ ،ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻓﻲ ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ،ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻭﻜل ﻨﺒﻀﺔ ﻓﻴﻪ ،ﺘﺭﻓﺽ ﻋﺩﻡ ﻭﺠﻭﺩﻫﺎ ،ﻓﻬﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻜﻴﺎﻨﻲ ﻭﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻗﻁﺭﺓ ﻤﻥ ﺩﻤﻲ ،ﺼﻌﻘﺔ ﻓـﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﻭﺤﺭﻜﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ،ﺼﺎﺭﺕ ﺍﻝـﺭﻴﺢ ﺘـﺩﺍﻋﺒﻨﻲ ،ﺘﻭﺍﺴـﻴﻨﻲ، ﺘﺄﺨﺫﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﺩﻴﻘﺔ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﻓﻲ ﻝﻭﺤﺘﻲ ﻝﻜﻨﻬﺎ ﻓﻜﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺨﻴﻠﺘﻲ ،ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺤﺩﻴﻘﺔ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻓﺘﺎﺓ ﺒﺎﻜﻴﺔ ﺸﺎﺤﺒﺔ ،ﻴﺒﺩﻭ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﺘﻌﺏ ﻭﺇﺭﻫﺎﻕ ﻭﺤﺯﻥ ﺃﻗﻁﺏ ﻭﺠﻬﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺠﻤﻴل ،ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺒﻭﺴﻌﻲ ﺴﻭﻯ ﺍﻝﺫﻫﺎﺏ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻋﺎﻨﻘﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﺘﺤﺩﺜﺕ ﻤﻌﻬﺎ ،ﺘﻌﺎﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻭﻑ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻊ ﻓﻬﻤﻪ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺸﻪ ﺃﻭ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻪ ،ﺃﻝﻤﺎ ﻻ ﻴﻘﺎﺭﻥ ﺒﺄﻱ ﺃﺴﻡ ﺃﻭ ﺼﻔﺔ ،ﻴﺼﻌﺏ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻱ ﺇﻨﺴﺎﻥ ﻓﻬﻤﻪ ﺃﻭ ﺘﺼﻭﺭﻩ، ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﺘﻨﻲ ﻀﻤﺘﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﺒﺸﻭﻕ ﺇﻨﺴﺎﻥ ﻋﺯﻴﺯ ،ﺒﻠﻬﻔـﺔ ﺸـﺨﺹ ﻤﻨﺘﻅﺭ ،ﺒﺨﻭﻑ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ .ﻜﺎﻥ ﺘﺼﺭﻓﻬﺎ ﻤﻌﻲ ﻜﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﻌﺭﻓﻨﻲ ﻤﻨﺫ ﺯﻤـﻥ ﺒﻌﻴﺩ ،ﺜﻘﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﻲ ...ﻝﻤﺴﺎﺘﻬﺎ ﻝﻲ ...ﺩﻤﻭﻉ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ ...ﻭﺜﻭﺒﻬـﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﺒﺘـل ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﻅﻬﺭ ﺒﻪ ﺒﻘﺎﻴﺎ ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ...ﺤﺫﺍﺌﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻤﺎﺯﺍﻝﺕ ﺘﺭﺘﺩﻴـﻪ، ﺸﻜل ﺠﻠﺴﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺤﻜﺕ ﺍﻝﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ. ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻷﺤﻴﺎﻥ ﻴﺤﻤل ﺍﻝﻘﻠﺏ ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﺍ ﻴﺼﻌﺏ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻱ ﻜﺎﺘـﺏ ﺃﻭ ﺭﻭﺍﺌﻲ ﺃﻭ ﺸﺎﻋﺭ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﺸﺨﺹ ﺫﺍﺘﻪ ﺘﺼﻭﺭﻫﺎ ،ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﺍ ﻤـﺼﺩﺭﻫﺎ ﺃﻝﻤﹰﺎ ﻴﺼﻌﺏ ﺸﺭﺤﻪ ﺃﻭ ﺘﺠﺴﻴﺩﻩ ﺃﻭ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﺤـﺩﻴﺙ ﻋﻨـﻪ ،ﻓـﺎﻝﺘﻌﺒﻴﺭ ﻋﻨﻪ ...ﻫﻭ ﺍﻹﺤﺴﺎﺱ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﻝﻡ ﺫﺍﺘﻪ.
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ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻠﺤﻅﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺤﻜﻲ ﻝﻲ ﺍﻝﻔﺘﺎﺓ ﻋﻥ ﺃﻝﻤﻬﺎ ،ﺘﻤﻌﻨﺘﻬﺎ ﺃﺤـﺎﻭل ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﺎﺼﺭﻩ ﺃﻭ ﺃﺘﺼﻭﺭﻩ ﻭﻤﺩﻯ ﺍﻝﻠﻭﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﻌﻴﺸﻬﺎ .ﺭﺠﻌﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻝﻤـﻲ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﻴﻡ ﻋﻠﻲ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﻓﻬﻡ ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﻫﺎ ،ﻝﻭﻋﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻭﺨﻴﺎﻡ ﺩﻤﻭﻋﻬﺎ ،ﺭﺠﻌﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺼﺎﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻁﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﻨﻴﻥ ،ﻭﺒﺴﻁﺘﻪ ﺩﻗﺎﺌﻕ ...ﺩﻗـﺎﺌﻕ ﻤﻠﺌﻬﺎ ﺤﺯﻥ ﻭﺃﻝﻡ ،ﺒﻴﻨﻬﺎ ﻝﺤﻅﺎﺕ ﺴﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﺃﺤﺎﻝﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺩﻫﺭ ﻵﺜﺎﺭ ﻨﺒﻁﻴـﺔ... ﺒﻘﺎﻴﺎ ﻝﻔﺭﺤﺔ ﻗﺩﻴﻤﺔ ﻤﻼﻤﺤﻬﺎ ﻤﺎﺯﺍﻝﺕ.
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﺼﺤﻭﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻗﻁﺭﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﺭ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺴﺎﻗﻁﺔ ﺒﺸﺩﺓ ...ﺒـﺸﺩﺓ ﺭﺠـل ﻴﻼﻤﺱ ﻋﺸﻴﻘﺘﻪ ﻭﺒﻘﺭﺒﻪ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻴﻌﺒﺭ ﻋﻥ ﺤﺏ ﻜﺒﻴﺭ ...ﺼﺤﻭﺕ ﻭﺃﻨـﺎ ﺃﻋﺎﻨﻘﻬﺎ ﺒﺤﺭﺍﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺍﻝﻤﻔﻘﻭﺩﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ...ﺘﻀﻤﻨﻲ ﺒﻠﻬﻔﺔ ﺍﻝﺭﺠل ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﻌﺸﻘﻬﺎ ،ﺤﺩﻗﺕ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺭﺍﺤﺕ ﻨﻅﺭﺍﺘﻲ ﺘﺫﺒل، ﺘﺘﺭﺍﺠﻊ ،ﺘﺤﺒﻁ ...ﺠﻠﺴﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻀﺎﻉ ﺍﻝﺴﻌﺩ ﻤﻨـﻲ ...ﻜـل ﺸﻲﺀ ﺤﻭﻝﻲ ﻴﻘﻭل ﻝﻲ ﻻ ﺘﻴﺄﺱ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺼﺎﻨﻊ ﺍﻝﺯﻤﺎﻥ ،ﻻ ﺘﻴﺄﺱ ﻓﺄﻨـﺕ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﺙ ،ﻻ ﺘﻴﺄﺱ ﻓﺎﻷﻴﺎﻡ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺩﻤﺔ ﺴﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﺠﻤل. ﻭﻗﻔﺕ ﺃﺤﺩﻕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ ،ﺃﺴﺄل ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ،ﺃﺨﺎﻁﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﻗﻁﺭﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﺭ، "ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ؟ ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ؟" ﺃﺭﺍﻗﺒﻬﺎ ﻤﺭﺓ ﻭﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺍﻝﻌﺩﻡ ،ﻋﺭﻓﺕ ﺒﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻫـﻲ! ﺃﺴﺄل ﻨﻔﺴﻲ" :ﺇﻝﻰ ﻤﺘﻰ؟" ﺍﺴﺘﺩﺭﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺨﻠﻑ ،ﺃﺨﻁﻭ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺍﻝﻤﺠﻬﻭل، ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻴﻥ؟ ﻻ ﺃﻋﻠﻡ .ﻴﻜﺒﺭ ﺍﻝﺴﺅﺍل ﺒﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﺒﻜﺒﺭ ﺨﻁﺎﻱ ،ﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﺒﺘﻌﺩ، ﺃﺨﻠﻑ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﺒﺒﻁﺀ ﺘﺤﺘﻲ ،ﺃﺒﺘﻌﺩ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺩ ﺃﺭﻯ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﺸﻴﺌﺎ ...ﺤﺯﻨﺎ ﻴﻌﺼﺭﻨﻲ ﻭﺩﻤﻌﻲ ﻴﺴﻴل ﻋﻠﻰ ﺨـﺩﻱ ،ﻻ ﺃﻋﻠـﻡ! ﺤﺯﻨﺎ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﺃﻡ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ،ﺘﻔﺎﻭﺘﺕ ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﻱ ،ﺘـﺸﺎﺒﻜﺕ ﺒﺨﻁـﻭﻁ ﻭﺨﻴﻭﻁ ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺴﻭﻡ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﻤﻐﺯﻭل ،ﺭﺤﺕ ﺃﻤﻌﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ ...ﻭﺍﻨﻘﻁﻊ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﺭ ،ﺭﺤﻠﺕ ﺍﻝﻐﻴﻭﻡ ﺍﻝـﺴﻭﺩﺍﺀ ﻭﺤـل ﻤﺤﻠﻬـﺎ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﻀﺎﺀ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﺠﻪ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ...ﻝﻡ ﻴﺘﺭﻜﻨﻲ ﻭﻝـﻡ ﻴﻔـﺎﺭﻗﻨﻲ ،ﻭﺠﻬﻬـﺎ 20
ﺼﺎﺤﺏ ﺃﺠﻤل ﻓﻡ ﻭﺸﻔﺘﻴﻥ ،ﺒﺴﻤﺔ ،ﺃﺠﻤل ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺭﺃﺕ ﻋﻴﻨﻲ ...ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﺕ ﺩﺍﻤﻌﺎ ﺒﺫﻜﺭﺍﻙ ﻭﻓﻲ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﺸﻭﻕ ﻝﺭﺅﻴﺎﻙ... ﻭﺍﺼﻠﺕ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻐﻴﻤﺔ ،ﻓﻲ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻭﺠﻪ ،ﻭﺠﻪ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﺃﻤـﺸﻲ ﻨﺤﻭﻫﺎ ،ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﻐﻴﻤﺔ ﺁﺘﻴﺔ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ،ﺤﻤﻠﺘﻨﻲ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺴﺅﺍﻝﻲ ،ﻤﺘﺠﻬﺔ ،ﻤﺤﻠﻘﺔ ﺒﻲ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺍﻷﻓﻕ ،ﺘﻤﺭ ﺒﺴﺭﻋﺔ ،ﻤﺨﻠﻔﺔ ﻭﺭﺍﺌﻬﺎ ﻜل ﺍﻝﻐﻴﻭﻡ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻐﻴﻤﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺤﻤل ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻭﺒﻜل ﻨﻌﻭﻤﺔ ﻭﺭﻗﺔ ﺃﻨﺯﻝﺘﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ...ﺩﻋﻭﻨﻲ ﺃﻗﻭل ﻝﻜﻡ ﺒﺄﻱ ﻁﺭﻴﻘﺔ ﻭﻜﻴﻑ ﺍﺴﺘﻘﺒﻠﺘﻨﻲ ...ﺴﺄﻗﻭل ﻝﻜﻡ ﺒﻜل ﺍﻝﺤﺭﻭﻑ ﺍﻝﻌﺭﺒﻴﺔ ،ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﻘﻲ ﺴﻌﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻭﺭﺍﻗﻲ ﺒﻜل ﻝﻐﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻡ ﻜﻴـﻑ ﻜﺎﻨـﺕ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ! ... ﻨﺯﻝﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻐﻴﻤﺔ ﺍﻝﺤﺴﻨﺎﺀ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻜﺤﺴﻨﻬﺎ ،ﺘﻨﻅﺭ ﻨﺤـﻭﻱ ،ﻨﺤـﻭ ﺍﻷﻋﻠﻰ ﻓﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﻋﻠﻭﻫﺎ ﻭﻗﺭﻴﺏ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ...ﺘﻨﺎﻭﻝﺕ ﻁﻠﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﻫﻲ ﺘﺭﺍﻗﺒﻨـﻲ، ﻨﻅﺭﺍﺕ ﺃﻋﺎﺩﺘﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﺠﻤل ﺃﻴﺎﻡ ﺠﻤﻌﺘﻨﺎ ،ﺃﻤﺴﻜﺕ ﺒﻴـﺩﻱ ﻓﺄﺤﺴـﺴﺕ ﺒﺭﺤﻴﻘﻬﺎ ﺒﺄﻭل ﻁﺭﻑ ﻻﻤﺴﻬﺎ ،ﻭﻀﻌﺕ ﻴﺩﻱ ﺍﻝﻴﺴﺭﻯ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺨـﺩﻫﺎ ﻓﺄﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺒﻨﻌﻭﻤﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻭﺍﻝﻴﻤﻨﻰ ﻓﻲ ﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ ﺍﻷﺤﻤﺭ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺭﻗﺹ ﻓﻲ ﺼﺒﻐﺔ ﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ ﺫﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﻠﻭﻨﻴﻥ ،ﺍﻷﺤﻤﺭ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺼﻊ ﺩل ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﺩﻯ ﺤﺭﺍﺭﺘﻬﺎ ﺇﻝﻲ ،ﻭﺍﻷﺤﻤﺭ ﺍﻝﻨﺒﻴﺫﻱ ﺍﻝﻤﻌﺘﻡ ﻴﻌﺒﺭ ﻋﻥ ﺤـﺴﺎﺴﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﺭﻗﺘﻬـﺎ ...ﺁﻩ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ...ﻭﻋﺎﻨﻘﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺒﻘﻠﺒﻲ ﻴﺼﻌﻕ ﺃﻭ ﻴﺭﻗﺹ ،ﺒﺭﻜﺎﻥ ﺜﺎﺌﺭ... ﻗﺒﻠﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻋﺎﻨﻘﺘﻨﻲ ،ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﺒﻨﻔﺴﺠﻴﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺩﺨﻠﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻋﺎﻝﻡ ﻻ ﺤـﺩﻴﺙ ﻓﻴـﻪ 21
ﺴﻭﻯ ﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﺍﻝﺭﻭﺡ ،ﻓﻲ ﻋﺎﻝﻤﻨﺎ ،ﻋﺎﺼﺭﺕ ﺭﺠﻭﻝﺘﻲ ،ﺇﻨﻬـﺎ ﺍﻝﻤـﺭﺃﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﻬﺎ ،ﻋﺸﻴﻘﺘﻲ ،ﺼﺩﻴﻘﺘﻲ ،ﻭﺭﻓﻴﻘﻲ ،ﺤﺩﺜﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﺤﺩﺜﺘﻨﻲ ،ﺘـﺭﻯ ﺍﺸﺘﻴﺎﻗﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻨﻅﺭﺍﺕ ﻋﻴﻭﻨﻲ ﺃﻭ ﺤﺭﻜﺎﺕ ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ،ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻝﻤـﺴﺔ ﻤﻥ ﻴﺩﻱ ،ﻭﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻤﻌﺎﻨﻘﺔ ﻭﻗﺒﻠﺔ... ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺤﻤﻠﻬﺎ ﻜﺎﻝﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﺒﺜﻭﺒﻬﺎ ﺍﻷﺒﻴﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻔﺎﻑ ،ﻝﻜﻨﻬـﺎ ﺒﻜـل ﻨﻌﻭﻤﺔ ﺃﺨﺫﺕ ﺒﻴﺩﻱ ﻤﺘﺠﻬﺔ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻑ ﺍﻝﻐﻴﻤﺔ ،ﺠﻠﺴﻨﺎ ﻨﻨﻅـﺭ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺍﻷﺴﻔل ،ﻭﺴﺄﻝﺘﻨﻲ" :ﺃﺘﺫﻜﺭ ﺍﻝﺸﺠﺭﺓ؟" ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻤﻌﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﺒﻌﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺘﻤﺘﻊ ،ﺃﺴﻤﻌﻬﺎ ،ﺴـﺄﻝﺘﻬﺎ" :ﺃﻱ ﺸـﺠﺭﺓ ﺘﻌﻨﻲ؟" ﻓﻘﺩ ﺴﺭﻗﺕ ﻝﺒﻲ. "ﺃﻱ ﺸﺠﺭﺓ؟ ﺃﻝﻡ ﺘﻌﺩ ﺘﺫﻜﺭﻫﺎ ﺫﺍﺕ ﺍﻷﻭﺭﺍﻕ ﺍﻝﺒﻨﻔﺴﺠﻴﺔ؟ ﻝﻜﻡ ﺠﻠﺴﻨﺎ ﻭﺘﺤﺩﺜﻨﺎ ،ﻝﻜﻡ ﻻﻤﺴﺘﻨﻲ ﻭﻋﺎﻨﻘﺘﻨﻲ ،ﻝﻜﻡ ﻗﺒﻠﺘﻨﻲ ،ﻝﻜﻡ ﺤﻜﻴﺕ ﻝﻲ ﻗﺼﺹ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻌﺠﻭﺯ ﺍﻝﺸﻤﻁﺎﺀ ﻭﻤﺤﻤـﺩ ﺍﻝـﺸﺎﻁﺭ ،ﻗـﺼﺔ ﺍﻝﺯﻴﺘﻭﻨـﺔ ...ﺃﻻ ﺘﺫﻜﺭﻫﺎ؟" "ﺒﻠﻰ ...ﺃﺫﻜﺭ ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ،ﺴﺄﺴﺘﻤﻊ ﻝﻙ ...ﺃﻤﻌﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ،ﺃﺘﻴﻘﻥ ﺒﺄﻨﻙ ﺃﻨﺕ ...ﺃﻵﻤﺱ ﺨﺩﻙ ،ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﺸﻔﺘﻴﻙ ﻭﻨﻌﻭﻤﺔ ﻋﻨﻘـﻙ ،ﻓﻸﻜـﻥ ﺃﻨﺕ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻜﻠﻲ ﺨﻭﻑ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺼﺤﻭ ،ﺃﻓﺘﺢ ﻋﻴﻨﻲ ،ﺨﻭﻓﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜـﻭﻥ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻐﻴﻤﺔ ﻭﺴﺎﺩﺓ ،ﺃﻭ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﻘﻌﺩﻱ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﻁـﺎﺌﺭﺓ ،ﻻﻤـﺴﻴﻨﻲ 22
ﻭﺘﻤﺴﻜﻲ ﺒﻜل ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻓﻲ ﻭﺠﺴﺩﻱ ،ﻻ ﺘﻤﺴﻜﻲ ﺒﻘﻤﻴـﺼﻲ ﻭﻻ ﺒﺭﺒﻁـﺔ ﺍﻝﻌﻨﻕ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﻫﺩﻴﺘﻨﻲ ﺇﻴﺎﻫﺎ" ﺍﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻌﺭﻴﻀﺔ ﻤﻠﺌﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻜﻼﻡ ،ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻬﺎ" :ﻻ ﺘﺴﻜﺘﻲ ،ﻜﻠﻤﻴﻨﻲ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺍﻨﻘﻁﺎﻉ ﺩﻭﻥ ﻫﻤﺯﺓ ﻭﺼل ﻭﺩﻭﻥ ﻓﺎﺼﻠﺔ ﺃﻭ ﻨﻘﻁﺔ ،ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﻓﻲ ﺘﻔﻜﻴﺭﻱ ﻋﻨﻙ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺒﻘﻰ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻜﻴﺎﻨﻲ ﻤﻌـﻙ ،ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴـﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺒﺘﻌﺩ ﻋﻨﻙ ﻭﻻ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺒﻤﺘﻌﺔ ﻗﺩ ﺘﻘﺭﺒﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ" ﻋﺎﻨﻘﺘﻨﻲ ،ﻭﺴﺄﻝﺘﻨﻲ" :ﺃﻻ ﺘﺫﻜﺭ ﺍﺒﻨﺘﻨﺎ؟" ﻭﺴﺄﻝﺕ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ" :ﻫـل ﻝﻨـﺎ ﻁﻔﻠﺔ؟ ﻻ ﺃﺫﻜﺭ ﺃﻥ ﻝﻨﺎ ﻁﻔﻠﺔ" ﻭﺒﺴﺭﻋﺔ ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻬﺎ" :ﺒﻠﻰ ...ﺒﻠﻰ" ...ﺃﺘﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ،ﺸﺩﺕ ﺸﻌﺭﻱ ،ﻭﺤـﻀﻨﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻀـﻤﻤﺘﻬﺎ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺼﺩﺭﻱ ﺒﺤﺭﺍﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﻝﺩ ﻤﺸﺘﺎﻕ ﻝﻁﻔﻠﺘﻪ ،ﺩﺍﻋﺒﺘﻬـﺎ ﻭﺩﺍﻋﺒﺘﻨـﻲ ،ﺃﻝﻘـﺕ ﺒﺠﺴﺩﻫﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻅﻬﺭﻱ ،ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺭﺍﻗﺩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺒﻁﻨﻲ ﻭﺍﺴﺘﺩﺭﺕ ،ﺤﻤﻠﺘﻬﺎ ﻓﻭﻕ ﺼﺩﺭﻱ ،ﺘﻤﺴﻙ ﺒﺄﻨﻔﻲ ،ﺘﻀﻊ ﺇﺼﺒﻌﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺫﻨﻲ ،ﺘﺤﺎﻭل ﺨﺩﺵ ﻭﺠﻬﻲ ﺒﺄﻅﺎﻓﺭﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﻋﻤﺔ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﺘﺭﻜﻬﺎ ﺘﻔﻌل ﻤﺎ ﺘﺸﺎﺀ ،ﻜﻠﻬﺎ ﺭﻗـﺔ ﻭﻁﻔﻭﻝـﺔ، ﺘﻀﻔﻲ ﻝﻠﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﻝﻭﻥ ﺁﺨﺭ ،ﻀﺤﻜﺎﺘﻬﺎ ﺘﺭﺴﻡ ﻜل ﻓﻡ ﺒﺴﻤﺔ ،ﻭﻜل ﻋـﻴﻥ ﺭﺤﻤﺔ ...ﻁﻔﻠﺘﻨﺎ.
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﻓﺠﺄﺓ ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﺸﻲﺀ ﻴﻤﺴﻙ ﺒﻜﺘﻔﻲ ﻭﻴﺸﺩﻨﻲ ﺒﻘﻭﺓ ...ﺭﺠﻌﺕ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﻭﺍﻗﻌﻲ ﻭﻝﻭﺤﺘﻲ ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﺼﻭﺕ ﺭﺠل ﻴﺴﺄﻝﻨﻲ" :ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻻ ﺘﺠﻴـﺏ ﻋـﻥ ﺴﺅﺍﻝﻲ؟" ﻭﺘﻐﻴﺭ ﻭﺠﻬﻲ ،ﻀﺎﻋﺕ ﺤﻼﻭﺘﻪ ،ﺍﺨﺘﻔﺕ ﺒـﺴﻤﺘﻪ ،ﺸـﺤﺏ ﻝﻭﻨـﻪ ﻭﺘﻘﻁﻊ ﺘﻭﺍﺼﻠﻪ ...ﻋﻼ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﺝ ﻭﺤﻁﻤﺕ ﺸﺭﺍﻋﻲ ﻤﻨﺎﻜﺒﻪ... ﺠﻠﺴﺕ ﺒﻌﺩﻫﺎ ﻤﻊ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﺃﺤﺎﻭل ﺃﻥ ﺃﺭﺠﻊ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺃﻓﻜـﺎﺭﻱ ﻋﻠـﻲ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺍﻝﺫﻫﺎﺏ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ،ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. ﺭﺠﻌﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﺎﻨﻭﺘﻲ ،ﺤﺎﻨﻭﺕ ﺍﻷﻤﺱ ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﺸـﺎﺭﻋﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻀﻴﻕ ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﻓﺔ ﺍﻹﺴﻤﻨﺘﻴﺔ ﺤﻴﺙ ﺘﺠﻠﺱ ﺒﻐـﺩﺍﺩ ﺒﺎﻨﺘﻅـﺎﺭﻱ ﻤـﻊ ﺼﺩﻴﻘﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻜﻨﺕ ﺁﺘﻲ ﻤﺘﻌﺒﺎ ،ﻴﻅﻬﺭ ﻋﻠﻲ ﺍﻹﺭﻫﺎﻕ ،ﺃﻋﺎﻨﻲ ﻋﻤل ﻴـﻭﻡ ﺸﺎﻕ ،ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺒﺎﻨﺘﻅﺎﺭﻱ ﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﺒﻴﺕ ﺼﺩﻴﻘﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺭﺍﻫﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻌﻴﺩ... ﺭﻗﻴﻘﺔ ،ﻭﻗﺼﺔ ﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ ﺍﻷﻨﻴﻘﺔ ،ﺃﺤﺱ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻭﻝﺩﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ ،ﻴﻭﻡ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ ﺤﻼ ﺒﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻓﻌل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺴﻭﻯ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻭﺠﻬﻬـﺎ، ﺍﻝﺘﺠﻤل ﻓﻲ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻭﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﺒﻘﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻠﺤﻅﺔ ﻭﺍﻝﻬﻨﺎﺀ.
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ﺃﺭﻯ ﺍﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺨﻁﻭﻁ ﺍﻝﻅﻼﻡ ﺭﻏﻡ ﻋﺘﻤﺔ ﺸﺎﺭﻋﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻀﻴﻕ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﻭﺸﻜل ﻭﺠﻨﺘﻴﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺠﻤﻴﻠﺘﺎﻥ ،ﺘﻜﺒﺭ ﻓﺭﺤﺘﻲ ﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒـﺕ ﻤﻨﻬـﺎ، ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﺼل ﻭﺃﻨﻅﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻓﺄﺤﺱ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﻨـﻲ ﻓـﻲ ﻴـﻭﻡ ﻤﻭﻝﺩﻱ ،ﺃﺤﺱ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻨﺨﻠﺔ ،ﺍﻋﺼﺎﺭ ﺃﻭ ﻗﺎﺭﺏ ﻤﻤﺯﻕﹲ ﺘﻨﻘﺫﻩ ﺸـﻁﺂﻨﻬﺎ... ﺘﻨﺘﺸﻠﻨﻲ ﻭﺃﺴﻌﺩ... "ﻤﺭﺤﺒﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻤﻴﻠﺔ" "ﻤﺭﺤﺒﺎ "...ﺤﻴﺘﻨﻲ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. ﻤﺭﺤﺒﺎ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻜﻤﺜل ﺃﻱ ﻤﺭﺤﺒﺎ ،ﺃﺴﻤﻌﻬﺎ ...ﻤﺭﺤﺒﺎ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻨﻐﻤﺔ ﺘﺩﺍﻋﺏ ﺃﻨﺎﻨﻴﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﺭﺠﻭﻝﻴﺔ ...ﻀﺤﻜﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺁﻩ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻭ ﺴﻤﻌﻬﺎ ﻤﻭﺴﻴﻘﺎﺭ ﻭﻜﺘﺒﻬـﺎ ﺴﻴﻤﻔﻭﻨﻴﺔ ﻝﺼﺎﺭﺕ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ﺭﻭﺍﺠﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻹﻨﺠﻴل ﻭﺃﻱ ﻗﻁﻌﺔ ﻤﻭﺴﻴﻘﻴﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻹﻁﻼﻕ ...ﺒﺤﺔ ﺼﻭﺘﻬﺎ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﺤﺩﺜﻨﻲ ﺃﻏﻨﻴﺔ ﺠﺒﻠﻴﺔ ﺘﺼﺩﻉ ﻓﻲ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻭﺍﻵﻓﺎﻕ ...ﻤﺎ ﺃﻋﻤﻕ ﻨﻅﺭﻱ ﺒﻌﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ ﺭﻏﻡ ﻗﻠﺔ ﺤـﺩﻴﺜﻬﺎ ﻭﻏﻤﻭﻀـﻬﺎ، ﺘﺤﻤﻠﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻋﺎﻝﻡ ﻻ ﻭﻝﻥ ﺃﺼﻠﻪ ﻝﻭﻻﻫﺎ ،ﺘﺭﺍﻗﺒﻨﻲ ﻭﺘﻁﻴل ﻭﺤﻴﺎﺀ ﺘﺨﻔﻴﻪ ﺒﻴﻥ ﻭﺠﻨﺘﻴﻬﺎ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻝﻐﺯ ﻝﻭﺤﺔ ﺍﻝﻌﺸﺎﺀ ﺍﻷﺨﻴﺭ ﻭﻋﻔﻭﻴﺔ ﺘﺭﻭﻯ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ...ﺘﺤﻜﻲ ﺍﻝﻜﺜﻴﺭ ...ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﻭﺍﻝﺘﻤﻌﻥ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻴﺄﺨﺫ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﻅﺭ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﺼل ﺒﺨﻴﺎﻝﻪ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﻴﺙ ﻴﺸﺎﺀ ...ﺃﻁﻴﺭ ،ﺃﺩﻨﺩﻥ ،ﺃﻨﺎﺠﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﻌﻴﻡ ﻓﻲ ﺜﻐﺭﻫـﺎ... ﺃﺤﺎﻭﺭ ﺘﺩﻭﻴﺭﺓ ﻭﺠﻬﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺭﺩ ﻓﻲ ﻗﺼﺔ ﻗﺭﺃﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﺕ ﺃﺫﻜﺭ ﺃﺠﻤل ﻓﺘﺎﺓ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ...ﻫﻲ ﺍﻷﺠﻤل ﻤﻥ ﺍﻨﺠﻴﻠﻴﻨﺎ ﺠﻭﻝﻲ ﻭﺃﺠﻤل ﻤـﻥ 26
ﺒﻠﻘﻴﺱ ،ﻭﺒﻌﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺘﻠﺫﺫ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﺃﺤﻴﻬﺎ ﺒﻘـﺼﻴﺩﺓ ﻤـﻥ ﺸـﻌﺭ ﺼﺩﻴﻘﻲ ،ﺃﺤﺒﻬﺎ ...ﻭﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺒﺨﺎﻁﺭﺓ ﺃﺭﺩﺩﻫﺎ ﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻤﺴﻜﺕ ﺒﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ ،ﺸﺩﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﺒﺘﺴﻤﺕ" :ﻤﺭﺤﺒﺎ ﻴﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺠﻌل ﻝﻠﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﺒﻬﺠﺔ ﺃﺘﻐﻤﺩﻫﺎ، ﻭﺸﺎﺭﻋﻨﺎ ﺒﻌﺘﻤﺘﻪ ﻭﻗﺩﻡ ﺒﻴﻭﺘﻪ ﻭﺘﻁﻔل ﺠﺎﺭﻨﺎ ﺃﺠﻤل ﻤﻥ "ﺍﻝـﺸﺎﻨﺯﻝﺯﻴﻪ"، ﻭﺃﻜﺜﺭ ﺇﻀﺎﺀﺓ ﻤﻥ ﺸﻭﺍﺭﻉ "ﻨﻴﻭﻴﻭﺭﻙ" ﻤﻥ ﺃﺠﻠﻙ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﺯﺩﺤﻡ ﺍﻝﺤـﻲ ﺒﺎﻝﺸﺒﺎﻥ ﺭﻏﻡ ﻀﻴﻘﻪ ﻭﻗﻠﺔ ﺤﻭﺍﻨﻴﺘﻪ ﻭﻜﺄﻨﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ "ﺩﻝﻬـﻲ" ﻭﺩﻭﻥ ﺇﺸـﺎﺭﺓ ﻀﻭﺌﻴﺔ ...ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻗﺭﺃ ﺍﻝﻘﺼﻴﺩﺓ ،ﺍﻝﺨﺎﻁﺭﺓ ،ﺼﺎﺤﺏ ﺃﻭل ﺭﻗﺼﺔ ﻤﻊ ﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ ،ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺘﺠﻭﻝﺕ ،ﺭﺤﺕ ﻭﻏـﺩﻭﺕ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝـﺸﺎﻨﺯﻝﺯﻴﻪ ﻭﺃﻨـﻭﺍﺭ ﻨﻴﻭﻴﻭﺭﻙ ﻭﺩﺨﻠﺕ ﺯﺤﺎﻡ ﺩﻝﻬﻲ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻭﺼﻠﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻱ ﻋـﺎﺌﻕ ﺃﻭ ﻤﺭﺍﻗﺏ ﻴﻔﺴﺩ ﻋﻠﻴﻨﺎ ﻤﺴﺎﺀﻨﺎ. ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ...ﻝﻜﻡ ﺸﺭﺒﺕ ﻤﻥ ﻴﺩﻴﻬﺎ ﻝﺒﻨﺎ ﺒﺎﻝﺴﻜﺭ ،ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﺫﻫﺏ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺒﺎﺌﻊ ﺍﻝﻠﺒﻥ ﻭﺃﺭﺍﻓﻘﻬﺎ ﺒﻨﻅﺭﻱ ...ﺒـﺩﺨﻭﻝﻬﺎ ﻭﺨﺭﻭﺠﻬـﺎ ،ﻁﻠﺒﻬـﺎ، ﻭﺤﺩﻴﺜﻬﺎ ﻤﻊ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺌﻊ ،ﻴﺭﻗﺹ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺭﺍﻗﺏ ﺨﻁﺎﻫﺎ ،ﺨﻁﺎﻫﺎ ﻤﺜل ﻨﺨﻴل ﻻ ﻴﻨﻤﻭ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺩﻴﻨﺘﺎ ...ﻴﻤﻠﺊ ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻑ ﺍﻝﺸﺎﺭﻉ ﺍﻝﻌـﺭﻴﺽ ،ﺃﻨـﺎ ﺃﺘﻭﺴﻁﻪ ﻭﺃﺴﻴﺭ ﺒﺒﻁﺀ ﺸﺩﻴﺩ ﻓﺄﺤﺱ ﺒﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﺜﺎﺒﺘﺎ ﻤﻜﺎﻨﻲ ﺭﻏـﻡ ﻗﺭﺒـﻲ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ،ﻴﻘﻔﺯ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺼﺩﺭﻱ ﻴﺴﺎﺒﻘﻨﻲ ﻨﺤﻭﻫﺎ ﻻ ﻴﺤﺘﻤل ﺒﻁﺀ ﻤﺴﻴﺭﻱ ﻭﺘﺼﻨﻌﻲ. ﺘﺄﺘﻲ ﺇﻝﻲ ﻭﺘﺴﺄﻝﻨﻲ" :ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﻝﻘﺩ ﺃﺤﻀﺭﺕ ﻝﻙ ﻝﺒﻨﺎ ﺒﺎﻝﺴﻜﺭ" 27
ﺃﻨﺎ ﻴﻜﻔﻴﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﻜﻭﺕ ،ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ،ﻓﻬﻭ ﺃﺤﻠﻰ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺴﻜﺭ ﻭﻁﺒﻌـﻙ ﺃﺼﻔﻰ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻠﺒﻥ ﺒﻴﻥ ﻴﺩﻴﻙ ،ﺘﻐﻀﺏ ﺍﻝﺠﻤﻴﻼﺕ ﻷﻨﻲ ﻻ ﺃﺠﻴـﺒﻬﻥ... ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ ﺍﺘﺭﻜﻴﻨﻲ ﺇﻥ ﺭﻓﻀﺕ ﺍﻝﻜﻼﻡ ﺃﻭ ﻋﺠﺯﺕ ﻋﻨﻪ ،ﺃﺭﺠـﻭﻙ ﻴـﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﻻ ﺘﻐﻀﺒﻲ ﺇﻥ ﺃﻁﻠﺕ ﺍﻝﺴﻜﻭﺕ ﻭﻝﻡ ﺃﺨﺎﻁﺒﻙ ،ﻓﻬـﺫﺍ ﻝـﻴﺱ ﺫﻨﺒﻲ ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻭﻋﻴﻨﻴﻙ ﻭﺍﻨﺤﻨﺎﺀﺍﺕ ﺠﺴﺩﻙ ،ﻤﺘﻌﺘﻲ ﺒﺎﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺍﺩﻤﺎﻥ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺘﻁﻭﺭ ﻭﻨﻬﻀﺔ ﻭﺍﻨﺼﻴﺎﻉ ﻝﻤﺤﻴﺎﻙ. ﺃﺤﻀﺭﺕ ﻝﻲ ﺍﻝﻠﺒﻥ ﺒﺎﻝﺴﻜﺭ ،ﺤﻼﻭﺘﻪ ﺭﻭﺤﻬـﺎ ،ﻁﺒﻌﻬـﺎ ﺍﻝـﺸﻔﺎﻑ ﻭﻴﻭﻤﻨﺎ ،ﻨﺤﻥ ﻨﻨﻬل ﻤﻥ ﺭﺤﻴﻘﻪ .ﺘﺄﺘﻲ ﻤﺴﺭﻋﺔ ﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﻴﺭﺍﻫـﺎ ﺃﺤـﺩ، ﺘﻘﺒل ﺇﻝﻲ ﺒﻨﻅﺭﺍﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺤﺩﻴﺔ ﻝﻜل ﻤﻥ ﺤﻭﻝﻨﺎ ،ﻋﺎﺌﻠﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻤﺠﺘﻤﻌﻨﺎ ﻭﻜـل ﺍﻝﻤﻌﺎﺭﻀﻴﻥ ﻝﺤﺒﻨﺎ. ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﺤﻴﺙ ﻫﻲ ،ﺃﻴﻨﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ...ﻓﻲ ﺤﻔﻠﺔ ﺯﻓﺎﻑ ﻻﺒﻥ ﻋﻤﻬﺎ، ﺃﻭ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺨﺎﻝﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻨﺒﻘﻰ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﻔﺭﻍ ﺍﻝﻌﺭﺱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﻋﺴﻰ ﺃﻥ ﻨﻬﺭﺏ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺯﺤﺎﻡ ﺘﺤﺕ ﺃﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﺯﻴﺘﻭﻥ ،ﺘﺴﻤﺭ ﺃﺭﻭﺍﺤﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺨﻼﺀ ،ﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﺘﺘﺭﺠﻤﻪ ﺤﻭﺍﺴﻨﺎ ...ﺒﺸﻐﻑ ﻨﺭﺘﻊ ﻭﻤﺘﻨﻬﺎ ﻴﻔﺘﻨﻨﻲ ...ﻓﺩﺍﻙ ﻨﻔـﺴﻲ ﺇﻥ ﹶﻨﻔﹶﺴﻲ ﺘﻐ ﺭﺏ ﻋﻨﻙ. ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﺘﻭﺍﺠﺩﻫﺎ ،ﻓﻲ ﺒﻴﺕ ﺃﻫﻠﻬﺎ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻝﺠﻴﺭﺍﻥ ﺤﻴﺙ ﺘﻁﻠﻕ ﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ ﻤﺜل ﻗﻁﻊ ﺍﻝﻠﻴل ﺍﻝﻤﻅﻠﻡ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻗﺹ ﺸﻌﺭ ﺃﻤﻬﺎ ﻭﺸـﻌﺭﻫﺎ، ﺃﻗﺘﻔﻲ ﺃﺜﺭﻫﺎ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺃﺨﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﻴﻀﺔ ،ﺃﺯﻭﺭﻫﺎ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ،ﺃﺴﻴﺭ ﻓـﻲ 28
ﺠﺭﺘﻬﺎ ﺃﻴﻨﻤﺎ ﺭﺍﺤﺕ ﻭﻏﺩﺕ ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﺒﺎﺌﻊ ﺍﻝﺨﺒﺯ ﻭﺃﺩﻋـﻭ ﺍﷲ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜـﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺨﺒﺯ ﻤﺯﺩﺤﻤﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻨﻐﺘﻨﻡ ﻓﺭﺼﺔ ﺃﻁﻭل ﻤﻊ ﺃﻨﻔﺴﻨﺎ ،ﺃﺒﺤـﺙ ﻋﻨﻬـﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻨﺎﺕ ،ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﻬﻰ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻜﻨﺎ ﻨﺠﻠﺱ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﺀ، ﺍﻝﻭﺤﻴﺩﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺫﻴﻥ ﻴﻤﻜﺜﻭﻥ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﺘﺒﺩل ﻭﺠﻭﻩ ﻭﻭﺠﻭﻩ ،ﻭﻨﻘـﻭل ﻤـﺎﺯﺍل ﺒﺎﻜﺭﺍ ...ﻨﻌﻡ ﻤﺎﺯﺍل ﺒﺎﻜﺭﺍ ،ﻓﺎﻝﺠﻠﻭﺱ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﻤﻌﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ ﺴﺭ ﻴﻁﻭﻱ ﺍﻝﺯﻤﻥ ﻝﻴﻘﺼﺭ ﺃﻗل ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﻌﺘﺎﺩ ،ﺠﻤﺎلٌ ﻴﻘﻨﻥ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﻐﺭﻭﺏ ﺒﻭﺠﻭﺩﻫﺎ ﻝﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺸﻴﺌﺎ ﺃﻗل ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﺩﻱ ،ﻤﺘﻌﺔ ﺃﻜﺒﺭ ﻤﻥ ﻋﻭﺩﺓ ﺭﺠل ﺇﻝﻰ ﺯﻭﺠﺘﻪ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻁﻭل ﻏﻴﺎﺏ. ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﻘﻭل ﻝﻲ ﻋﻥ ﻤﻭﻋﺩ ﺯﻴﺎﺭﺘﻬﺎ ﻝﺼﺩﻴﻘﺘﻬﺎ ﻜﻲ ﺃﻗﺎﺒﻠﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺴﻴﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺸﻭﺍﺭﻉ ﻗﺭﻴﺘﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻌﺘﻤﺔ ﻷﺼل ﻝﻠﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﺍﻝﻤﺅﺩﻴﺔ ﻝﻬـﺎ ﻝﻴﺒـﺩﻭ ﻝﻘﺎﺌﻨـﺎ ﺼﺩﻓﺔ ،ﺃﺭﺍﻓﻘﻬﺎ ﺒﺨﻁﻰ ﺒﻁﻴﺌﺔ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﺼل ﺇﻝﻰ ﻤﺩﺨل ﺒﻴﺕ ﺼﺩﻴﻘﺘﻬﺎ، ﻨﻘﻑ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻪ ﻤﺴﺘﻤﺘﻌﻴﻥ ﺒﺤﺩﻴﺜﻨﺎ ﻭﻨﻅﺭﺍﺘﻨﺎ ﺘﺘﺭﺁﻯﺀ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻗﻁﺭﺍﺕ ﺨﺠـل ﻭﺤﺸﻤﺔ ،ﻨﺄﺨﺫ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺴﻌﺔ ﺼﺩﻭﺭﻨﺎ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺸﻜﻭﻯ ﻤﻥ ﺘﻌﺏ ﺴﺎﻗﻴﻨﺎ ﺃﻭ ﻝﺴﻌﺔ ﺒﺭﺩ ﺘﺭﺍﻓﻘﻨﺎ ،ﺃﺴﺄﻝﻬﺎ" :ﺃﺘﺸﻌﺭﻴﻥ ﺒﺎﻝﺒﺭﺩ؟" ﺭﻏﻡ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺎل ﻴﻐﻨﻲ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﺴﺅﺍل ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺭﺠﻔﺔ ﺠﺴﺩﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﺭﻗﻴﻕ ﻭﺘﻐﻴﺭ ﺒﺸﺭﺓ ﻋﻨﻘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻼﺌﻜﻲ ﻭﻝﻭﻨﻪ ،ﺍﺴﺘﺩﺍﺭﺕ ﺇﻝﻲ ﺒﺸﻁﺭ ﻭﺠﻬﻬـﺎ، ﺒﻌﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﻋﺴﺘﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻠﻭﺯﻴﺘﻴﻥ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺠﻠﺱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻴﻤﻴﻨﻬﺎ ﻭ ﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﻻ... ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﻫﻲ ﻁﺒﻴﻌﺔ ﺠﺴﺩﻱ" ﻭﻜﺄﻨﻲ ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻁﺒﻌﻬﺎ ﻭﺠﺴﺩﻫﺎ! 29
"ﺃﺘﺸﻌﺭ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺒﺎﻝﺒﺭﺩ؟" "ﻻ ...ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺴﺄﻝﻙ!" ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ﺃﻗل ﻤﻌﺎﻨﺎﺓ ﻤﻥ ﺴﻴﺎﻁ ﺍﻝﺒﺭﺩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺠﺴﺩﻫﺎ ،ﻨﺘﻨﺎﺴـﻰ ﻨﻅﺭﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﺴﺩﻴﻥ ﻭﺍﻝﻤﺘﻁﻔﻠﻴﻥ ﻭﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﺤﻭﻝﻨﺎ ،ﻓﺎﻝﺤـﺩﻴﺙ ﻤﻤﺘـﻊ ﻭﻝﻤﺴﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻴﺩﻴﻥ ﺃﺠﻤل ﻭﻋﻨﺎﻗﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﺘﺴﺤﺭ ﺤﻔﻴﻑ ﺒﺭﺩ ﺍﻝﻤـﺴﺎﺀ ﺤـﺭﺍﺭﺓ ﺘﺼﺒﻭ ﺇﻝﻴﻨﺎ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻤﺭﺓ ،ﻭﺠﻭﻩ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﺴﺩﻴﻥ ﻭﻻ ﺍﻝﻤـﺎﺭﺓ ﻝـﻡ ﺘﻘـﻨﻥ ﺼﻔﻭﻨﺎ ،ﺨﻠﻭﺘﻨﺎ ﻤﻊ ﺫﺍﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﻻ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺸﻜل ﺠﻠﺴﺘﻨﺎ. ﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﺕ ﺃﺫﻜﺭ ﺍﻝﻜﺭﺴﻲ ﺒﺠﺎﻨﺏ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺏ ﺫﻭ ﺍﻝﺤـﻅ ﺍﻝﻜﺒﻴـﺭ ﺩﺍﺌﻤـﺔ ﺍﻝﺠﻠﻭﺱ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ،ﺃﺫﻜﺭ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺵ ﺍﻝﻤﺒﺴﻭﻁ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻓﻲ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ ﺃﻤﻲ، ﻫﻲ ﺘﺤﺏ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺩﺨﻭﻝﻬﺎ ﺒﻴﺘﻨﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺠﻠﺱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻓﺭﺍﺸﻬﺎ ﻭﻭﺴﺎﺩﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻜـﻡ ﺃﺴﻌﺩﺘﻨﻲ ﻋﺎﺩﺘﻬﺎ ﻫﺫﻩ ،ﻓﻬﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﻤﻀﺎﻋﻑ ﺍﻝﻤﺨﺘﻠﻑ ﺍﻝﺸﻜل ﻭﺍﻝﻜﻴﺎﻥ ﻝﻬﺎ ﻭﻷﻤﻲ ﻴﺯﻴﺩﻨﻲ ﺒﻬﺠﺔ ،ﻨﻤﺎﺀ ﻭﻋﻁﺎﺀ ،ﺠﻠﺴﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻓﺭﺍﺸﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﺘﻜﺄﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﺴﺎﺩﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﺴﺄﻝﺘﻨﻲ" :ﺃﺘﺴﻤﺢ ﻝﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﻠﻭﺱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻓﺭﺍﺵ ﺃﻤﻙ؟" ﺤﺒﻬﺎ ﻷﻤﻲ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺴﺒﺏ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺠﻠﺴﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻓﺭﺍﺸـﻬﺎ ﻭﻭﺴـﺎﺩﺘﻬﺎ. ﺃﺠﺒﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﺴﺅﺍل" :ﺃﺘﺤﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﺤﺘﺴﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻘﻬﻭﺓ ﻤﻌﻲ؟" "ﻨﻌﻡ ،ﺒﺭﻏﺒﺔ" ﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﻁﻬﻭ ﺍﻝﻘﻬﻭﺓ ،ﻭﻗﻬﻭﺘﻬﺎ ﺃﻝﺫ. 30
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﻝﻡ ﺃﻨﺴﻰ ﺫﻜﺭﻴﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﻤﻌﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻑ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﻭﺴﻬﺭﺍﺘﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﻬـﻰ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻨﺎﻨﻲ ،ﻝﻭ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﺫﻜﺭ ﻤﺴﺎﺀﺍﺘﻨﺎ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺍﻝﺩﺭﺝ ﺍﻝﻌﺭﻴﺽ! ﻝﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﺘـﺫﻜﺭ ﻋﻨﺎﻗﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﻌﻡ ﺍﻹﻴﻁﺎﻝﻲ ،ﻝﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﺘﺫﻜﺭ ﺘﺫﻤﺭﻫﺎ ﻭﻜﺴﻠﻬﺎ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺍﺩﻋﻭﻫﺎ ﻤﻤﺎﺭﺴﺔ ﺍﻝﺭﻴﺎﻀﺔ ﻤﻌﻲ ،ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﻴﻨﺔ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﻴﻤﺔ ﻜﻨﺎ ﻨﺴﻴﺭ ﺒـﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﻭﺍﻨﻴﺕ ﻨﺩﺨل ﻤﻁﻌﻡ ﺼﻴﻨﻲ ،ﻗﻬﻭﺓ ﺍﺴﺒﺎﻨﻴﺔ ﺃﻭ ﻤﻠﻬﻰ ﻝﻴﻠﻲ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻀﻤﻥ ﺃﺠﻭﺍﺌﻨﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻜﺎﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻴﻭﻤﻲ ﻭﻴﻘﺘﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﻔﺠﺭ... ﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻤﻜﺎﻨﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻔﻀل ﻋﻠﻰ ﻀﻔﺔ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﺍﻝﻤﺯﺩﺤﻡ ﺒﺎﻝﻨﺎﺱ ،ﻨﺨﺘﺎﺭ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺎﻋﺩ ﺍﻝﻘﺭﻴﺒﺔ ﻤﻨﻪ ،ﻫﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﻁﻠﺏ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ،ﻓﻘﺩ ﻋﻠﻤﺘﻬﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﺴﻴﺩﺓ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﺍﻷﻭﻝﻰ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ. "ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺃﻁﻠﺏ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﻭل" ﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻴﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻤل ﻴﻭﻤﺊ ﺒﺭﺃﺴﻪ ﻴﻨﺘﻅﺭ... "ﺍﻝﻔﺘﺎﺓ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﺼﺎﺤﺒﺔ ﺍﻝﺤﻕ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻷﻭﻝﻰ ﻭﻋﻠﻰ ﺭﺃﺱ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺌﻤﺔ" ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻠﻌﺎﻤل. ﻫﻲ ﺘﺸﺭﺏ ﻗﻬﻭﺘﻬﺎ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺤﻠﻴﺏ ﻤﻊ ﻗﻠﻴل ﺍﻝﺴﻜﺭ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ،ﻭﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﺀ ﻨﺸﺭﺒﻬﺎ ﺒﺎﻝﺤﻠﻴﺏ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺴـﻜﺭ ،ﺃﻤـﺴﻜﺕ ﺒﻴـﺩﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﻴﻤﻨـﻰ 32
ﻭﻀﻌﺘﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﻀﺩﺓ ،ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﺕ ﺒﻤﻘﻌﺩﻱ ﻨﺤﻭﻫـﺎ ،ﻭﻀـﻌﺕ ﻴـﺩﻱ ﺍﻝﻴﺴﺭﻯ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻜﺘﻔﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻨﺤﻴل ﻭﺤﻭل ﻋﻨﻘﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺯﺤﻑ ﺒﺄﺼـﺎﺒﻌﻲ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﻭﺠﻨﺘﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﻴﺩﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﻀﺩﺓ ﺃﻤﺴﻙ ﻴﺩﻫﺎ ﻜﻲ ﺃﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﺘﺼﻼ ﻤﻌﻬﺎ ﺒﻜل ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻓﻲ ،ﺭﻭﺤﻬﺎ ﻭﺤﺩﻫﺎ ﻻ ﺘﻜﻔﻴﻨﻲ ...ﺤﻀﺭﺕ ﻗﻬﻭﺘﻨﺎ ،ﻜﻨﺎ ﻨـﺼل ﺇﻝﻰ ﻤﺭﺤﻠﺔ ﻨﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻘﻬـﻭﺓ ﻤﺘﺤﺭﻜـﺔ ﻜـﻲ ﻻ ﺘﻔـﻙ ﺍﺭﺘﺒﺎﻁﻨﺎ ،ﻨﻀﻁﺭ ﺁﺴﻔﻴﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻨﺘﺭﻙ ﺒﻌﻀﻨﺎ ﻝﺜﻭﺍﻨﻲ ﻜﻲ ﻨﺤﺘﺴﻴﻬﺎ. ﻨﻅﺭﺍﺕ ﺍﻵﺨﺭﻴﻥ ﺘﺄﻜﺩ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺒﺄﻨﻨﺎ ﺃﺴﻌﺩ ﻤﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻭﺠﻭﺩ ،ﺍﺒﺘـﺴﺎﻤﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻔﺎﺭﻕ ﻭﺠﻭﻫﻨﺎ ﻭﻗﻠﻭﺒﻨﺎ ،ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ﺘﺭﺍﻓﻕ ﺨﻁﻭﺍﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﺍﻨـﺩﻤﺎﺠﻨﺎ، ﻨﺴﻴﺭ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻨﺼل ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﺎﻓﺔ ﺍﻝﺸﺭﻓﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﻠﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﺤﻴﺙ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺤـﺔ ﺍﻝﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ،ﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﻨﺎ ﻨﺤﺘﺴﻲ ﺍﻝﺸﺎﻱ ﺒﻬﺎ ،ﺍﻝﻘﻬـﻭﺓ ﻭﺴﻨﺩﻭﻴـﺸﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﺠـﺒﻥ ﺍﻝﺼﻔﺭﺍﺀ "ﺍﻝﺠﻭﺩﺍ" ﻭﺸﺭﺍﺌﺢ ﺍﻝﻁﻤﺎﻁﻡ ﺍﻝﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﺫﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﻁﻌـﻡ ﺍﻝـﺸﻬﻲ ﻭﺍﻝﺭﺍﺌﺤﺔ ،ﺍﻝﺒﺴﺎﻁ ﺍﻝﺒﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﻴﻡ ﺭﻓﻴﻘﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺜل ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺭﺤﻼﺕ ،ﻨﺠﻠﺱ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻨﺴﺘﻤﺘﻊ ﺒﺄﺸﻌﺔ ﺍﻝﺸﻤﺱ ﻨﺭﺍﻗﺏ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ...ﺍﻝﻤـﺎﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﻝﺠﺎﻝـﺴﻴﻥ ﻤﻌﻨﺎ ...ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﻤﻠﻲﺀ ﺒﺄﻤﺜﺎﻝﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻌﺸﺎﻕ ﻭﺍﻝﻌﺎﺌﻼﺕ ﺍﻝﻬﺎﺭﺒﻴﻥ ﻤـﻥ ﺭﻭﺘﻴﻥ ﻴﻭﻤﻬﻡ ﺍﻝﻤﻠل .ﻨﺭﺍﻗﺏ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻤﺔ ﺒﺩﻗـﺔ ،ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨـﺎ ﺒﻤﻭﻀـﻭﻋﻴﺔ، ﺘﺼﺭﻓﺎﺕ ﺍﻷﺯﻭﺍﺝ ﻤﻊ ﺒﻌﻀﻬﻡ ،ﻤﺭﺓ ﻴﺒﺩﻭ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﻡ ﺍﻝﺘـﺼﻨﻊ ﻭﺃﺨـﺭﻯ ﺍﻻﻨﺩﻤﺎﺝ ﺒﺒﻌﻀﻬﻡ ﻝﺩﺭﺠﺔ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻴﻼﺤﻅ ﺤﺩﺍﺜﺔ ﻋﻼﻗﺘﻬﻡ.
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ﻲ ﻭﻴـﺩﻫﺎ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺍﺴﺘﻠﻘﻴﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻅﻬﺭﻱ ﻭﻫﻲ ﺒﺠﺎﻨﺒﻲ ،ﻨﺼﻔﻬﺎ ﻋﻠ ﺼﺩﺭﻱ ،ﻻ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺍﻝﻬﺭﺏ ﻤﻥ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻬـﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﻀـﻭﻋﻴﺔ ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨـﺎ... ﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺠﻨﺒﻲ ﻤﻁﻤﺌﻥ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻓﻭﻗﻲ ،ﻤﺅﻤﻨـﺎ ﺘﻨﺎﺠﻴﻨﻲ ﻭﺘﺘﻤﺎﻴل ،ﺃﻀﻊ ﻴﺩﺍ ﺒﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﻤﻠﻜﻲ ﻭﻝﻲ ﻭﺤﺩﻱ ،ﺘﺘﻤﻌﻥ ﻓﻲ ﻭﺠﻬﻲ ﻜﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﻷﻭل ﻤﺭﺓ ﺘﺭﺍﻨـﻲ، ﺃﺭﺍﻗﺏ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺤﺭﻜﺎﺕ ﻴﺩﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻓﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺤﺎﻭل ﺘﻘﻴﻴﻡ ﺤﺒﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻜﺒﻴﺭ ﻝﻲ ﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻨﺤﻨﺎﺀﺍﺕ ﺠﺴﺩﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﻋﻡ ﻭﺃﻨﺎﻤﻠﻬـﺎ ﺍﻝﺭﺍﻗـﺼﺔ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﻭﺠﻨﺘـ ﻭﺍﺴﺘﺭﺨﺎﺅﻫﺎ ﻗﺭﺒﺔ ﻴﺭﺸﺢ ﻤﺎﺅﻫﺎ ...ﺘﻀﻊ ﻴﺩﻫﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﺠﻬﻲ ﺘﺘﺄﻤﻠـﻪ ﻜﺎﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻥ ﺸﻲﺀ ،ﻤﺭﺓ ﺘﻘﻭل" :ﻝﻭﻥ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻙ ﻴﺒﺩﻭ ﻝﻭﻥ ﺁﺨﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺸﻌﺔ ﺍﻝﺸﻤﺱ" ﻭﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺘﻘﻭل" :ﻫﺎ! ﻗﺩ ﻭﺠﺩﺕ ﺸﻌﺭﺓ ﺒﻴﻀﺎﺀ ﻓﻲ ﺭﺃﺴﻙ" ﻭﺘﺒﻘـﻰ ﻴﺩﻫﺎ ﺘﻼﻤﺱ ﻭﺠﻬﻲ ﻭﺘﺘﺎﺒﻊ" :ﻫﺫﻩ ﺸﺎﻤﺔ ﺴﻤﺭﺍﺀ ﻓﻲ ﻭﺠﻬﻙ " ﺃﺒﺘﺴﻡ ﺇﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺔ ﻋﺭﻴﻀﺔ ﻤﻠﺌﻬﺎ ﺨﻠﻭﺓ ﻤﻥ ﻜل ﺸﻭﺍﺌﺏ ﺍﻝﺩﻨﻴﺎ ،ﻓﺭﺤـﺎ ﻭﺤﺒﺎ ﻝﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻤﺸﻁ ﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ ﺒﺄﺼﺎﺒﻌﻲ ،ﺃﻻﻤﺴﻬﺎ ﺒﻜل ﺸـﻔﻘﺔ ﺃﺤﺘﺎﺠﻬـﺎ ﻭﺤﻨﺎﻥ ،ﺃﻅﻬﺭ ﻝﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻝﻤﺴﺎﺘﻲ ﺤﺒﺎ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺍ ﻭﺴﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﻨﺤﻥ ﻨﻌﻴﺸﻬﺎ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺘﺼﻨﻊ ﺃﻭ ﺘﺸﺒﻪ ،ﻓﺄﺤﺎﺴﻴﺴﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺘﺨﻀﻊ ﻝﺤﺴﻴﺏ ﺃﻭ ﺭﻗﻴـﺏ ،ﻻ ﻭﻝـﻥ ﻲ ﻴﻁﻠﺒﻬـﺎ، ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ...ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﺃﺤﺒﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻋﺸﻘﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﻓﺘﻘﺩﻫﺎ ،ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻓ ﺃﺤﺸﺎﺌﻲ ﺘﺼﺭﺥ ﺤﺴﺭﺓ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ﻴﺭﺘﺠﻑ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻝﺫﺒﻴﺢ ﻴﻨـﺘﻔﺽ، ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻴﻨﺯﻑ ﺤﺭﻗﺔ ،ﻜﻠﻲ ﻴﻨﺎﺩﻱ ﺒﺼﻭﺕ ﻤﺨﻨﻭﻕ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ... 34
ﺒﻴﻥ ﻴﺩﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﺃﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ،ﺘﺄﺘﻲ ﺇﻝﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻨﺎﻤﻲ ﻭﺼﺤﻭﻱ ،ﻓﻲ ﻓـﺭﺍﺵ ﺍﻝﻐﺭﻴﺒﺎﺕ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻓﻲ ﻓﻨﺠﺎﻥ ﻗﻬﻭﺘﻲ ﻭﺃﻭﺭﺍﻕ ﻋﻤﻠﻲ ،ﺃﺭﺍﻫﺎ ﺒﻜل ﻓﺘﺎﺓ ﺘﻤﺭ ﺠﺎﻨﺒﻲ ،ﺘﺒﺘﺴﻡ ﻝﻲ ...ﺩﻭﻤﺎ ﻤﻌﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺼﺤﻭ ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺼﻭﺕ ﻓﺘﺎﺓ ﺘﺭﻗﺩ ﻓﻲ ﻓﺭﺍﺸﻲ ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻬﺎ ،ﺘﺴﺄﻝﻨﻲ" :ﺃﺘﺴﻤﻌﻨﻲ؟" ﺍﻹﻨﺒﻬﺎﺭ ﻭﺍﻀـﺢ ﻓـﻲ ﻭﺠﻬﻲ ...ﺘﺨﺘﻠﻑ ﻤﻌﺎﻝﻤﻪ ﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﺍﻓﺘﻘﺩﺘﻬﺎ.
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﺭﺠﻌﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺸﺭﻓﺔ ﺒﻴﺘﻬﻡ ﺍﻝﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ،ﻤﺎﺯﺍﻝﺕ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺇﻀـﺎﺀﺓ ،ﻨﺠﻠـﺱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺎﻋﺩ ﺍﻝﺒﻼﺴﺘﻴﻜﻴﺔ ﻭﺃﻤﺎﻤﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﻀﺩﺓ ﺍﻝﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﻨـﻀﻊ ﻋﻠﻴﻬـﺎ ﺍﻝﺸﺭﺍﺏ ﻭﺍﻝﻁﻌﺎﻡ ﻭﺃﺸﻴﺎﺀﻨﺎ ،ﻤﻁﺒﺨﻬﻡ ﻤﻁلٌ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺸﺭﻓﺔ ﻭﺇﻀـﺎﺀﺘﻪ ﺘﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ،ﻤﺜل ﺇﻨﺎﺭﺓ ﻋﺸﺭﺓ ﺸﻤﻭﻉ ،ﺘﺄﺨﺫﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺭﻭﻤﺎﻨـﺴﻴﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﻭﻁﻼﻗﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﺒﺎﺭﺓ ﻭﺸﺎﻋﺭﻴﺔ. ﻓﻲ ﻋﻤﻕ ﺍﻝﺤﻭﺍﺭﺍﺕ ،ﻓﻲ ﺃﻭل ﺭﺸﻔﺔ ﻗﻬﻭﺓ ﻭﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻴـﺄﺘﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻨـﺎ ﺃﺨﻭﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﻁﻔل ﺍﻝﺼﻐﻴﺭ ﻴﻁﺭﺒﻨﺎ ﺩﻋﺎﺒﺔ ﻭﻀﺤﻙ ﻴﻌﻁﻲ ﻝﺠﻠﺴﺘﻨﺎ ﻤﺘﻌـﺔ، ﺭﻭﻨﻘﺎ ﻭﺴﺭﻭﺭ. ﺃﻋﺎﻨﻲ ﺤﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﺃﻋﻴﺸﻪ ﺃﻝﻤﺎ ﺍﻋﺘﻘﺩﺘﻪ ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ،ﺃﺨﺫﻨﻲ ﻷﻝﻡ ﻋﺎﺼـﺭﺘﻪ ﻤﺘﻌﺔ ﻗﺎﻝﻭﺍ ﻋﻨﻪ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ. ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ﻴﺎ ﻭﺭﺩﺓ ﺍﻝﺯﻤﺎﻥ ﻭﺤﻠﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﺴـﺎﻓﺭﺕ ﻓـﻲ ﺭﺤﻠﺔ ﺃﻭﺼﻠﺘﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻋﻤﺭ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﺒﻌﺔ ﻋﺸﺭ ...ﻭﺍﻝﻌﺸﺭﻴﻥ ،ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﺘﺒﺕ ﺃﻭل ﺭﺴﺎﻝﺔ ﻝﻙ ...ﺼﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﺤﺒﺭ ﻏﺭﻏﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻴﻨﻲ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺃﻭل ﻝﻭﻋـﺔ ﺃﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺒﻬﺎ ﺭﻏﻡ ﻗﺭﺒﻙ ﻭﻏﺭﺒﺔ ﻓﺭﺍﺸﻲ ﻋﻨﻲ ...ﺭﺍﻫﻘﻨﻲ ،ﺃﺠﻠـﺴﻨﻲ ﻭﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﺤﺩﺙ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ﻋﻨﻙ ،ﻋﻥ ﺠﻤﻴﻠﺔ ،ﺭﺍﺌﻌﺔ ،ﻓﺎﺘﻨﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﻲ ﻭﻫﻡ ﻻ ﻴﻌﺭﻓﻭﻨﻙ ،ﻋﻨﺩ ﻤﺩﺨل ﺒﻴﺘﻨﺎ ﺃﻨﺘﻅﺭﻙ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﺃﺭﺍﻙ ﻤﻘﺒﻠـﺔ ،ﺁﺨـﺫﻙ 37
ﻝﻠﻔﺭﺍﺵ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻝﻜﻡ ﺠﻠﺴﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺍﺘﻜﺄﺕ ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ ﺃﻤﻲ ،ﺃﻗﻑ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻙ ﺴﺎﻋﺎﺕ ﺃﻨﺎﺠﻲ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ. "ﻫل ﺃﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺘﻭﻯ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﺘﻤﻨﺎﻩ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘـﻲ؟" ﺃﺘﻤﻌـﻥ ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻓـﻲ ﺃﺘﺴﺎﺀل. ﻤﺎ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻴﺎ ﻨﺴﻤﺔ ﺘﻨﻌﻡ ﺒﻬﺎ ﺯﻫﻭﺭﻨﺎ ﻭﺃﻭﺭﺍﻕ ﺸﺠﺭ ﺍﻝﺒﻠﻭﻁ ،ﻤﺎ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻴﺎ ﺯﻴﻨﺔ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﻭﺍﻝﺩﻨﻴﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﺭﺍﻫﻕ ﺒﻪ ﺭﺠل ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺜﻼﺜﻴﻥ، ﻴﻜﺘﺏ ﺭﺴﺎﺌل ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺜﻼﺜﺔ ﺃﻭ ﺃﺭﺒﻌﺔ ﻤﺭﺍﺕ ﻭﻓﻲ ﺩﻓﺘـﺭ ﻤﺫﻜﺭﺍﺘـﻪ ﻁﻭﺍل ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ .ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺘﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﺒﻌﺔ ﻋﺸﺭ ﻤﻥ ﻋﻤﺭﻱ ...ﻜﺘﺒﺕ ﻝﻙ ،ﻓﻜﺭﺕ ﻓﻴﻙ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ،ﺒﻜﻴﺕ ﻷﻨﻲ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺭﺍﻙ ﻭﺃﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﻨﻌـﻡ ﻤﻌﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﺀ ...ﻫل ﺃﻨﺎ ﺒﺤﺎﺠﺔ ﻝﻠﺘﻜﺭﺍﺭ ﻻﺴﺘﻴﻌﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﺴﺅﺍل؟ ﺃﻡ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺃﻓﻘﺩ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﺭﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻹﺠﺎﺒﺔ ﺃﻭ ﺃﺭﻓﻀﻬﺎ؟ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺃﺼﺒﺤﺕ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻜل ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻭﺍﻝﺴﺅﺍﻻﺕ ﻭﺘﻀﺎﻋﻔﺘﻲ ،ﺘﺭﺍﻜﻤﺕ ﻜل ﺍﻝﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭ ،ﻓﻘـﺩﺕ ﺭﺘﺎﺒﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺘﺩﺍﺨﻠﺕ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﺤﺘﻴﺎﺠﺎﺘﻲ ﻭﺃﻭﻝﻭﻴﺎﺘﻲ ،ﺃﻨﻬﻜﺕ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺩ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﻕ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺭﺴﺎﻝﺔ ﺤﻜﻭﻤﻴﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺩﺍﺌﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﻌﻤل ﺃﻭ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻜﺘﺒﺘﻬﺎ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻝﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ ،ﺒﻴﻥ ﺩﻤﻌﺔ ﺘﺤﺭﻗﻨﻲ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﻭﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺃﺒﻜﻴﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻗﺠﺎﺭﻱ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﻭﻴﺔ .ﻗﺭﺭﺕ ﺍﻝﻬﺠﺭﺓ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻋﺎﻝﻡ ﺼﺎﻤﺕ ﻴﺘﺤﺩﺙ ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﻋﺎﻝﻡ ﻻ ﻴﻭﺠﺩ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺴﻭﻯ ﻜﺘﺏ ﻭﺃﻭﺭﺍﻕ ،ﻓﻭﺠﺌﺕ ﺒﻜل ﺴﻜﺎﻨﻪ ...ﻗﺩ ﻋﺭﻓﻭﻙ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﻠﻡ ﺃﻨﻙ ﻤﻭﺠﻭﺩﺓ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺍﻝﻜﺘﺏ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻷﻭﺭﺍﻕ ﺍﻝﺒﻴـﻀﺎﺀ ﻗﺒـل ﺃﻥ 38
ﺘﻁﺌﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺫﻜﺭﺍﻙ ﻭﺍﻝﺘﻔﻜﻴﺭ ﻓﻴﻙ ﺃﻝﻤﺎ ...ﺃﻋﺫﺭﻴﻨﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺴـﻤﺤﺕ ﻝﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺃﺘﺒﻭﺃ ﺒﺄﻝﻔﺎﻅ ﻻ ﺘﻠﻴﻕ ﺒﻙ ،ﺃﻋﺫﺭﻴﻨﻲ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﻓﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﻁـﺎل ﺍﻝﺯﻤﺎﻥ ﺭﻏﻡ ﻫﺠﺭﻙ ﻭﺍﻝﺠﻔﻰ ﺯﺍﺩ ﺤﺒﻲ ﻝﻙ ﻭﺍﻷﻝﻡ ،ﺠﺭﺍﺤﺎﺘﻲ ﺘـﺯﺩﺍﺩ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﻌﺠﺯ ﺒﻠﺴﻤﻲ ﻭﺍﻝﺘﺭﻴﺎﻕ ،ﺃﻗﻠﺏ ﻜل ﻴـﻭﻡ ﺼـﻔﺤﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﻔﻜـﺭﺓ ﻭﺼﻭﺭﻙ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﺅﺭﺨﺔ ﺒﻜل ﺃﻴﺎﻤﻙ ،ﺃﻗﻠﺏ ﺼﻭﺭﻙ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻋﺎﻡ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺨﺯﺍﻨﺘﻲ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻌﺩ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﻝﻜﺘﺏ ﺃﺨﺭ ،ﻓﻘﺩ ﻤﻸﺘﻬـﺎ ﺃﺠﻨـﺩﺓ ﺍﻝﺴﻨﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻝﻔﺔ ﺒﺼﻭﺭﻙ ...ﺒﻜل ﻋﺎﻡ ﺘﺒﺘﻌﺩﻴﻥ ﻋﻨﻲ ﺃﻜﺜـﺭ ،ﻴـﺯﺩﺍﺩ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺍﻕ ﻭﻫﻤﻲ ﻭﺘﻘل ﺍﻵﻤﺎل ﻭﺘﻀﻌﻑ ﺒﻠﻘﺎﺌﻙ ﻭﺍﻝﻌﻨﺎﻕ. ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ؟ ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ؟ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺒﺩﺃ ﺍﻝﺴﺒﺎﻕ ،ﻤﻥ ﺃﻁﻠﻕ ﺍﻝﻌﻴﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺭﻱ ﻤﻌﻠﻨﺎ ﺃﻭل ﺨﻁﻭﺓ ﺍﻻﻨﻁﻼﻕ ﻭﻏﺭﺒﺘﻲ ،ﻫﺭﻭﺒﻲ ...ﺃﻨﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺃﺴﺘﺤﻕ ﺍﻝﻌﻘﺎﺏ ﻭﺍﻝﻌﺯﻝﺔ ،ﻝﻴﺱ ﻏﻴﺭﻱ ،ﻝﻘﺩ ﺴﺒﺒﺕ ﻝﻙ ﺃﻝﻤﺎ ،ﺠﺒﺭﺕ ﻭﻜﺴﺭﺕ، ﻤﺯﻗﺕ ﺨﺭﻴﻁﺘﻙ ﺒﻌﺩﻤﺎ ﻭﺼﻠﺕ ﻝﻠﻘﻤﺔ ﻭﺃﻭﺸﻜﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ،ﺒـﺩﺃﺕ ﻁﺭﻴﻘﺎ ﺘﻌﻠﻤﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺴﻠﻜﻴﻪ ﺩﻭﻨﻲ ،ﺃﺘﻴﺘﻙ ﻭﺃﻓﺴﺩﺕ ﻜل ﺸـﻲﺀ ﺤﺎﻭﻝـﺕ ﺒﺩﺃﻩ ،ﻗﺭﻋﺕ ﺒﺎﺒﻙ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻌﻠﻤﻲ ﺒﻤﺠﻴﺌﻲ ،ﺠﺌﺕ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺜﺎﻨﻴـﺔ ﻜـﻲ ﺃﻀﻴﻑ ﻷﻝﻤﻙ ﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﻭﺸﻜل ﺁﺨﺭ ،ﻷﻓﺘﺢ ﺠﺭﺍﺤﺎﺘﻙُ ...ﺃﺤﻤﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻋﺩﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ ﻷﻨﻲ ﺍﻋﺘﻘﺩﺕ ﻁﻭل ﺍﻝﺴﻨﻴﻥ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻨﺴﻴﺘﻙ ﻭﻝﻡ ﺘﻌـﻭﺩﻱ ﻓـﻲ ﺃﻴﺎﻤﻲ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﺍﻝﻘﻭﻱ ﺍﻝﺭﺯﻴﻥ ،ﻜﻲ ﺃﺠﺩﺩ ﺤﺒﺎ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺍ ﺼﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﻴـﻭﻡ ﺃﻜﺒﺭ ﻭﺒﺠﺭﺍﺤﺎﺘﻪ ﺃﻗﺴﻰ ،ﺃﺘﻴﺕ ﺒﻌﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﻭﺸﻜﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺇﻨﻬﺎﺀ ﺭﻭﺍﻴﺘﻙ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻫﻴﺎﻜل ﻭﻻ ﻤﺩﻥ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺸﺨﺎﺹ ﺴﻭﺍﻨﺎ ...ﻨﺤـﻥ ﺃﺒﻁﺎﻝﻬـﺎ، 39
ﻨﻬﺎﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﺭﺴﻭﻤﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺘﺼﻭﺭﻙ ...ﻭﺒﺩﺃ ﻗﻠﻤﻙ ﺨﻁﻬﺎ ﺩﻭﻨـﻲ ﻭﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻔﻀﺤﻴﻨﻲ ﺃﻭ ﺘﺠﺭﺤﻴﻨﻲ...
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﺤﻠﻘﺕ ﻝﻴﻼ ﺃﺘﺴﻠل ﻤﻥ ﺒﺎﺏ ﻤﻁﺒﺨﻜﻡ ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﻨﺎﺌﻤﺔ ،ﻴﺎ ﺒﺭﻴﺌﺔ ﻜﻌﺎﺩﺘﻙ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻷﺤﻴﺎﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺘﺭﻗﺩﻴﻥ ،ﺘﺴﻠﻠﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﻓﻲ ﻭﻗﺕ ﻜـﺎﻥ ﻓـﺅﺍﺩﻙ ﻤﻔﺭﻏﺎ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﻨﺘﻅﺭ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻻﻤﺴﺘﻙ ،ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻓﺯﻋـﻙ ،ﻗﺒﻠﺘـﻙ، ﺍﻋﺘﻘﺩﺕ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺴﻜﻴﻨﺔ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺤﻠﻤﺎ ،ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻤﻠﻴﻪ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻭﺩﺍﻋـﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻁﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ ﻭﺘﻬﻨﺌﻲ ،ﻝﻡ ﺘﻌﻠﻤﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻨﺎﻨﻴﺘﻲ ﻭﺸﻜل ﻋﻴﻨﻴـﻙ ﺃﻭﺩﻭ ﺒﻲ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺩﺴﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻐﺩ ﻭﻤﺎ ﻴﺤﻭﻴﻪ ...ﻭﺃﺭﻓﺽ ﺍﻝﻭﺍﻗﻊ ،ﻜل ﺸـﻲﺀ ﻴﻠﻴﻪ ...ﺠﺴﺩﻙ ﻴﺘﺤﺭﻙ ،ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﺸﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺴﺘﻴﻘﻅﻲ ﻭﺍﺒﺘـﺴﺎﻤﺔ ﺨﻔﻴﻔـﺔ ﻴﺭﺴﻤﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﻌﺘﻘﺩﻴﻪ ﺤﻠﻤﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺸﻔﺘﻴﻙ ،ﺠﻔﻨﻴﻙ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻜﻨﻴﻥ ﺍﻝـﻭﺭﺩﻴﻴﻥ ﻴﺤﻀﻨﻬﻤﺎ ﺭﻤﺸﻙ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﻠﻭﺏ ﺍﻝﻁﻭﻴل ﻭﺭﻋﺸﺔ ﺤﺎﺠﺒﻴﻙ ﺘﻌﻁﻲ ﺍﻹﺸﺎﺭﺓ ﺍﻷﺨﻴﺭﺓ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﻌﻭﺩﻱ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺫﺍﺘﻙ ﻭﺘﻔﻴﻘﻴﻥ ،ﺍﺴﺘﺩﺭﺕ ...ﻭﻓﺘﺤﺕ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻙ، ﻲ ...ﺃﺠﻠﺱ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺠﻠﺱ ﺨﻠﻔﻙ ،ﺃﻭل ﻤﺎ ﻭﻗﻊ ﺒﺼﺭﻙ ،ﻭﻗﻊ ﻋﻠ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻤﺘﻜﺌﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻗﺠﺎﺭ ﻤﻁﺒﺨﻜﻡ ...ﻭﺭﺃﻴﺘﻨﻲ ...ﻭﻝﻤـﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﺘﻨـﻲ، ﻭﺍﺭﺘﻭﺕ ﻋﻴﻨﺎﻙ ﺍﻝﻠﻭﺯﻴﺘﻴﻥ ﻤﻨﻲ ﻭﺘﻴﻘﻨﺕ ﺃﻨـﻲ ﺃﻨـﺎ ،ﺘﻐﻴـﺭﺕ ﻜـل ﺍﻝﻘﺭﺍﺭﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺭﻴﺩﻴﻥ ﻭﻀﻌﻬﺎ ،ﺤﻤﻠﺕ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻘﻠﻡ ،ﻝﻡ ﺘﻌﺎﺭﻀـﻴﻨﻲ ﺃﻭ ﺘﺒﺩﻱ ﺭﻓﻀﺎ ﺒل ﺘﺴﻤﺭﺕ ﻋﻴﻨﺎﻙ ﺘﺘﺨﻠﻠﻬﻤﺎ ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ﺒﻭﺠﻭﺩﻱ ،ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ﺃﺨﻁ ﺃﻭل ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴﻕ ،ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﻀﻤﻥ ﺤﻭﺍﺩﺙ ﺨﺎﺘﻤﺔ ﻗﺼﺘﻙ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ﻝﻬﺎ ﻭﻻ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻭﻻ ﺃﻋﺩﻙ ،ﺴﺄﻝﺕ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻤﺭﺍﺭﺍ" :ﺇﻝـﻰ 42
ﻱ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻌـﺩ ﻤﺘﻰ؟ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻴﻥ؟" ﻝﻘﺩ ﺃﺘﻴﺕ ﻤﺘﺄﺨﺭﺍ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ...ﻋﺎﺠﺯﺍ ،ﻗﺩﻤﺎ ﻗﺎﺩﺭﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﺭﺍﻙ ﻭﺍﻝﻭﺼﻭل ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ،ﻤـﺴﺎﻓﺔ ﻻ ﻴـﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺯﺤﻔـﻲ ﻗﻁﻌﻬﺎ. ﺃﻋﺫﺭﻴﻨﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﻓﺭﻁ ﺃﻭل ﺨﻴﻁ ﻓـﻲ ﺃﻭل ﻗﻤـﻴﺹ ﻗﺭﺭﺕ ﻏﺯﻝﻪ ﻭﺒﻌﺩﻡ ﺭﻀﺎ ﻤﻨﻙ ﻋﻨﻪ ،ﻓﻲ ﻭﻗﺕ ﻭﺠﺏ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻜل ﻓﺘـﺎﺓ ﺘﻌﻠﻡ ﺍﻝﻐﺯل ...ﺃﻋﺫﺭﻴﻨﻲ ﻓﻘﺩ ﺃﺨﺫﺕ ﻜل ﺼﻭﻓﻙ ﻭﺍﻹﺒﺭ ،ﻜـل ﺃﺩﻭﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﻜﺔ ،ﻋﺫﺭﺍ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ...ﺁﺴﻑ ﻷﻨﻲ ﺴﺭﻗﺕ ﺼﻭﻓﻙ ﻭﺭﻤﻴﺘـﻪ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺴﺄﻝﻙ ،ﺃﻋﺫﺭﻴﻨﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺼﺩﻴﻘﺘﻲ ...ﻴـﺎ ﺃﻤﻴﺭﺘـﻲ ...ﻴـﺎ ﺒﻐـﺩﺍﺩ... ﺃﻋﺫﺭﻴﻨﻲ ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺼﻨﻊ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﺙ ﺒﻴﻨﻲ ﻭﺒﻴﻨﻙ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻗﻠﺕ ...ﺍﺩﻋﻴﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﺯﻤﺎﻥ ﺴﺒﺏ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺠﺭﺍﺡ ...ﻜﺫﺏ ...ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﺍﻝﻜﺫﺏ ﻜﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ،ﻜﻠﻤـﺎ ﻗﺒﻠﺕ ﻏﻴﺭﻙ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺘﻙ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ،ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﻜﺫﺏ ﻋﻠﻴـﻙ ﻝﻌﻅـﻡ ﺤﺒـﻲ ﻝـﻙ، ﺤﺭﺼﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺸﻔﺎﻓﻴﺘﻙ ،ﻭﺨﻭﻓﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺠﺭﺤﻲ ،ﺃﻜﺫﺏ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﻤﺨﺎﻓﺔ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺨﺫﻝﻲ ﺃﻭ ﺘﻨﻬﺯﻤﻲ ﻭﺘﻨﻜﺴﺭﻱ ﻭﻝﻥ ﺃﺴﻤﺢ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺤﺯﻨـﻲ ﺃﻭ ﺘﺨـﺴﺭﻱ ﺃﻨﻭﺜﺘﻙ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ﻷﻨﻙ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ،ﺃﻫﻠﻲ ،ﻋﺸﻴﺭﺘﻲ ،ﻭﺼـﺤﺒﻲ ،ﺤﺒـﺎ ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻨﻙ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻔﻬﻤﻴﻪ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺤﺸﺎﺌﻙ ﻝﻲ ﺘﻜﻨﻴﻪ.
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ﺃﻋﺘﺭﻑ ﻝﻙ ﺒﺄﻨﻲ ﻏﺯﻝﺕ ﺍﻝﺨﻴﺎل ،ﻻ ﺍﻝﺯﻤﺎﻥ ﻭﻻ ﺍﻝﺨﻁ ﻭﻻ ﺍﻝﺼﺩﻓﺔ ﻭﻻ ﺭﺌﻴﺱ ﺍﻝﻤﺤﻜﻤﺔ ﻭﻻ ﺍﻝﻤﺫﻨﺒﻭﻥ ،ﻻ ﺘﻘﻭﻝﻭﺍ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﺭ ﻓﻨﺤﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺨﻴﺭﻭﻥ، ﺃﻨﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻨﺴﺠﻙ ﺨﻴﺎﻻ ،ﻋﺎﺵ ،ﺍﺴﺘﺠﻡ ﻭﻋﺎﺙ ﻓﻴﻪ ...ﺃﻋﺎﺸﻕ ﺃﻨﺎ؟ ﺃﻡ ﻅﺎﻝﻡ ﻝﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻭﻝﻙ؟ ﺃﻋﺸﻕ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻌﻴﺵ ﺍﻝﺭﺠل ﻤﻊ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻪ ﺨﺭﺍﻓﺔ؟ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺄﺨﺫﻫﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﻴﺙ ﻴﺤﺏ؟ ﻴﺄﻜل ﻤﻌﻬﺎ ﻜل ﻤﺎ ﻴﺸﺘﻬﻲ ﻭﺤﻴﺙ ﻴﺸﺎﺀ؟ ﺃﻜﻭﻥ ﻝﻬﺎ ﻜل ﻤﺎ ﺘﺭﻴﺩ ﻭﺘﺘﻤﻨﻰ؟ ﺃﻫﺫﺍ ﻋﺸﻕ ﺃﻡ ﺠﻨﻭﻥ؟ ﺃﻡ ﺨﺭﻭﺝ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﺩﺍﺕ ﻭﺍﻝﺘﻘﺎﻝﻴﺩ ﻭﻤﺠﻭﻥ؟ ﺃﻡ ﻜل ﻫﺫﺍ ﻤﺘﻁﻠﺒـﺎﺕ ﻁﺒﻴﻌﻴـﺔ ﻤﻨﻁﻘﻴـﺔ ﻹﻨﺴﺎﻥ ﻋﺎﻗل ﻭﺍﻋﻲ ﻴﺭﺍﻋﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺠﺘﻤﻊ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﻌﻴﺵ ﻓﻴﻪ؟ ﻗﺩ ﺃﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻭ ﺃﻨﺕ ...ﻭﺍﻝﺩﻱ ﺃﻭ ﻭﺍﻝﺩﺘﻙ ...ﺍﻝﻤﺨﺘﺎﺭ ﺃﻭ ﺭﺌﻴﺱ ﺍﻝﺒﻠﺩﻴﺔ. ﻝﻤﻠﻤﺕ ﺠﺭﺃﺘﻲ ﻭﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻋﺭﻓﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻵﺨﺭﻴﻥ ﻭﺃﺘﻴﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﻗﻠﺕ" :ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻋﺭﻓﺘﻪ ،ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻓﻌﻠﺘﻪ ،ﻜل ﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﺯﺭﺘـﻪ ﺃﻭ ﻭﺩﺩﺕ ﺍﻝـﺫﻫﺎﺏ ﺇﻝﻴﻪ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﻤﻌﻲ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﻓﺎﺕ ...ﺃﻴﻜﻔﻲ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ؟ ﻝـﻡ ﻴﻜﻔﻴﻨﻲ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ" ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻓﻲ ﻋﺘﻤﺔ ﺃﻴﺎﻤﻲ ﺃﺴﺎﻓﺭ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﺃﻋﺒﺭ ﻤﺩﻥ ﺍﻝﻅـﻼﻡ ،ﺃﺘﺨﻁـﻰ ﺠﻨﻭﺩﻩ ،ﺃﺼﻠﻙ ﺃﻴﻨﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺕ ،ﺃﺘﺼﻭﺭ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺸﻜل ﺠﻠﺴﺘﻙ ،ﺸﺭﺒﻙ ﺍﻝﺸﺎﻱ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻝﻌﺼﻴﺭ ،ﺠﻠﺴﺘﻙ ﺍﻝﺭﻗﻴﻘﺔ ﻤﻠﺌﻬﺎ ﺃﻨﻭﺜﺔ ...ﻝﻜﻡ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ ﻜل
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ﺸﻲﺀ ﻓﻴﻙ ،ﺤﺘﻰ ﻏﻀﺒﻙ ،ﻨﻘﺽ ﻋﻬﺩﻙ ﻓـﻲ ﻤﻭﺍﻋﻴـﺩﻨﺎ ﻭﻝﻘﺎﺀﺍﺘﻨـﺎ، ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻓﻴﻙ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺨﻭﻓﻙ ﻭﺭﺠﻔﺔ ﺸﻔﺘﻴﻙ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﺙ. ﻲ ﺍﻷﻴﺎﻡ؟ ﺃﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻤﺒﻬﻤﺔ ﺴﺄﻝﺘﻬﺎ ﻤـﺭﺓ ﻝﻨﻔـﺴﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻱ ﺸﻲﺀ ﺁﻝﺕ ﺒ ﻭﻨﺴﻴﺕ ،ﺴﺄﻝﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ! ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺩ ﺃﻓﻬﻤﻬﺎ! ﻜﻴﻑ ﺼﺭﺕ ﻭﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ؟ ﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﺤﻴﺭﻨﻲ...؟ ﺘﻐﺭﺒﺕ ﻋﻥ ﺫﺍﺘﻲ ...ﻜﻘـﺎﺭﺏ ﺼـﻐﻴﺭ ﻀﺎﻋﺕ ﻤﺠﺎﺩﻴﻔﻪ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺃﻋﺎﺼﻴﺭ ﻫﺎﺌﺠﺔ ،ﺘﺄﺨﺫﻩ ﺃﻤﻭﺍﺝ ﺍﻝﺒﺤـﺭ ﺤﻴـﺙ ﺸﺎﺀﺕ ،ﺨﻭﻑ ﻓﻲ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻴﻌﺼﻔﻨﻲ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻋﺎﻨﻴـﻪ ،ﻨﻬﺎﻴـﺔ ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻬـﺎ، ﺃﺘﻤﻨﺎﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻗﺒل ﺍﻝﻐﺩ ،ﺭﻋﺏ ﺃﻋﻴﺸﻪ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺸﺎﻜﻠﺔ ﺨﻁﻴﺭﺓ ﻭﺠﻨﻭﻥ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺴﺭﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﺕ ﺒﻤﺭﺽ ﻋﻀﺎل ﻝﻡ ﻴﺴﻤﻊ ﺒﻪ ﺍﻷﻁﺒﺎﺀ ﺃﻭ ﻴﻌﺭﻓﻭﻩ، ﺃﻋﺭﺍﻀﻪ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻷﺤﺸﺎﺀ ﻻ ﺘﺭﺍﻩ ﺃﺠﻬﺯﺘﻬﻡ ﻭﻻ ﺘﻜﺸﻔﻪ ﻨﻅﺭﻴﺎﺘﻬﻡ ،ﺃﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﺘﻤﺯﻗﻨﻲ ،ﺘﻘﺘﻠﻨﻲ ،ﻜل ﻤﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻤﻭﺕ ،ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻴﺱ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻭﺠﻊ ﻤﺜل ﻭﺠﻌﻲ ،ﻫل ﻫﺫﺍ ﻋﺫﺍﺏ ﺍﻵﺨﺭﺓ ﻋﺠﻠﻪ ﻝـﻲ ﺍﷲ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﺩﻨﻴﺎ؟ ﺃﻡ ﻋﺫﺍﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﺃﻤﺩﻫﺎ ﺍﷲ ﺒﺸﻴﺎﻁﻴﻥ ﺠﻬﻨﻡ ﻜﻠﻬﺎ؟ ﻝﻡ ﻴﺤﺒﺏ ﺃﺤﺩ ﺤﺒﺎ ﻤﺜل ﺤﺒﻲ ﻝﻙ ،ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﻴﻘﻴﻨﻲ ﻴﻬﺎﻤﺴﻨﻲ ،ﻴﺴﺭ ﻝﻲ ﺒـﺼﻔﻴﺭ ﺯﻨﺯﺍﻨﺘﻲ ﻭﻴﻘﻭل: "ﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﺤﺒﻬﺎ ،ﺤﺒﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻌﺭﻓﻪ ،ﻝﻡ ﺘﺴﺘﻁﻊ ﺘﺼﻭﺭﻩ ،ﺤﺒﺎ ﻴﻨﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﻐﻤـﺎﻡ ﻭﻴﺼل ﺇﻝﻰ ﻏﻴﻭﻡ ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ ،ﺤﺒﺎ ﻝﻭ ﻋﺭﻓﺘﻪ ،ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﻪ ﺃﻭ ﻋﺎﺼـﺭﺘﻪ ﻝﺼﺎﺭﺕ ﺯﺒﺭﺠﺩﺍ ﻴﺘﺩﺍﻨﻰ ﺒﻌﻀﻪ ﻝﺒﻌﺽ ،ﺃﻭ ﻜﻼﺀ ﺍﻝﻭﺠﻭﺩ ﻭﺘﻤـﺭﺩﻩ، 45
ﺃﻴﻘﻭﻨﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺼﺩﺭ ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ ،ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻜﺎﻝﺘﻲ ﻋﺭﻓﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻠـﻕ ﺍﷲ ،ﺸﻲﺀ ﻤﻘﺩﺱ ﻭﺘﺴﺒﻴﺤﺔ ﺼﻭﻓﻲ ،ﺸﻁﺤﺔ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻘﺒﺭﺓ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﻝﻌـﺸﺎﺀ، ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻘﺎﻭﻤﻬﺎ ﺸﻴﺎﻁﻴﻥ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻭﻝﻐﺎﺭﺕ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﻜل ﺠﻨﻴـﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻜﻭﻥ ...ﻝﻭ ﻋﺭﻓﺕ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻋﻅﻡ ﺤﺒﻲ ﻝﻙ ...ﻜﺘﺒﺕ ﺍﻝﺸﻌﺭ ﺭﻏـﻡ ﺤﻠﺕ ﻋﻘﺩﺓ ﻝﺴﺎﻨﻲ ﺭﻏﻡ ﻀﻌﻔﻲ ،ﻗﻠﺔ ﺠﺭﺃﺘﻲ ﻭﻜﺜـﺭﺓ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻋﺴﻜﺭﻱ ، ﻋﻘﺩﻱ ،ﻭﺃﻭل ﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﻁﻘﻨﻲ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻨﻁﻕ ﺒﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺇﻻ ﺒﻜﻠﻤـﺔ ﺃﺤﺒـﻙ... ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ...ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ،ﺤﻭﻝﻨﻲ ﻤﺭﺍﻫﻘﺎ ﺃﺤﺩﺙ ﻨﺴﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺤﻲ ﻭﺍﻝﻌﻤـل ﻋﻨـﻙ، ﻁﻔﻼ ﺨﻁﻔﻨﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻝﻴل ﺩﺍﻜﻥ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺒﻪ ﺃﻱ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻋﻥ ﺃﻁﺒﺎﻉ ﺍﻝﺭﺠﺎل، ﺸﻲﺀ ﻝﻡ ﻴﺼل ﻝﻪ ﻋﻠﻤﺎﺀ ﺍﻷﺠﻨﺎﺱ ﺭﻏﻡ ﻭﺠﻭﺩﻱ ﺒﻴﻨﻬﻡ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻭل ﺤﺎﻝﺔ ﻭﺁﺨﺭ ﺤﺎﻝﺔ ،ﻤﺭﺽ ،ﺤﺩﺍﺜﺔ ،ﺍﻨﻁﻼﻗﺔ ...ﺃﻭ ﺠﻨﻭﻥ ﻅﻬﺭ ﺒﺸﻜل ﻝﻴﺱ ﻜﺎﻝﻤﻌﺘﺎﺩ ﺴﻴﻜﺘﺏ ﻋﻨﻪ ﺼﺩﻴﻘﻲ ﻤﺅﺭﺥ ﻤﺴﺘﺸﺭﻕ.
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﺕ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺸﺭﻓﺔ ﺒﻴﺘﻜﻡ ﺍﻝﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﻠﺔ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺤـﺎﻨﻭﺕ ﺍﻝﺩﺠﺎﺝ ،ﺃﺘﺫﻜﺭﻴﻥ ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﺠﻤﻴﻼ ﺤﻭﻝﻨﺎ؟ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺘـﺯﺍﻤﻥ ﺭﺍﺌﺤـﺔ ﺩﻡ ﺍﻝﺩﺠﺎﺝ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﻴﻡ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﻨﻭﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺎﺒل ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺜﻴﺭ ﺍﻻﺸﻤﺌﺯﺍﺯ ،ﻭﻤـﺴﺎﺀﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺼﺎﻓﻲ ﻭﻫﺩﻭﺀ ﻻ ﻴﻁﻭل ﺩﻗﺎﺌﻕ ﻝﺸﺩﺓ ﻓﻭﻀـﻭﻴﺔ ﺃﺒﻨـﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺠﻴـﺭﺍﻥ، ﺃﺘﺫﻜﺭﻴﻥ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺎ ﻨﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﺒﺎﻝﻬﻤـﺴﺎﺕ ﺃﻭ ﻴﻨﺘﻬـﻲ ﺍﻝﻜـﻼﻡ ﻭﻴﺘﺒﺨﺭ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺩﺨﻭل ﺃﻱ ﺃﺤﺩ ﻤﻥ ﻋﺎﺌﻠﺘﻙ؟ ﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﺕ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ،ﻓﻌﺒﻴﺭ ﺴﺘﺭﺘﻲ ﻤﻨﻙ ،ﺠﻠﺴﺘﻲ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻙ ﻤﺎﺯﺍﻝﺕ ﻜﻤـﺎ ﻫﻲ ،ﺼﺭﺍﺨﻙ ﻤﻭﺴﻴﻘﻰ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺫﻨﻲ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﻐﻀﺒﻴﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﺨﺘﻙ ﻷﻨﻬـﺎ ﺘﺄﺨﺭﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺘﺤﻀﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﻘﻬﻭﺓ.
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﻜﻨﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻋﺠﻠﺔ ﻓﻬﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻨﺘﻅﺎﺭﻱ ﻓﻘﺩ ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﻝﻲ ﺒـﺎﻷﻤﺱ ﺃﻨﻬـﺎ ﺴﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﻭﻤﻌﻬﺎ ﻜل ﺃﺸﻴﺎﺀﻨﺎ ،ﻗﻤﺕ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺒﺼﻴﺎﻨﺔ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ،ﻷﻨﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺴﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﻓﻲ ﺭﺤﻠﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ. ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﺃﺭﺘﺩﻱ ﺜﻴﺎﺒﻲ ﻭﺠﻬﺯﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻨﻬـﺎﺭ ﺒﻨﻁـﺎﻻ ﻭﻗﻤﻴـﺼﺎ ﻜﻠﻴﻬﻤﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻜﺘﺎﻥ ،ﻝﻭﻨﻬﻤﺎ ﺭﻤﺎﺩﻱ ...ﺍﻝﺸﻤﺱ ﺠﻤﻴﻠﺔ ﺒﺸﻌﺎﻋﻬﺎ ﺍﻝـﺫﻱ ﻴﺜﻴﺭ ﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﺭ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ﻤﻥ ﻜـل ﻝﺤﻅـﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ،ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺩﺭﺠﺔ ﺍﻝﺤﺭﺍﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺤﻭﺍﻝﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﺸـﺭﺓ ﺼـﺒﺎﺤﺎ ﻤﻌﺘﺩﻝﺔ ﺘﻭﻝﺩ ﺒﻬﺠﺔ ﻭﺭﻏﺒﺔ ﺒﻜل ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻤﻥ ﺤﻭﻝﻲ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺠﺎﺭﺘﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺭﻫﺎ ﺇﻻ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺤﺒل ﺍﻝﻐﺴﻴل ﻗﺎﻁﺒﺔ ﺤﺎﺠﺒﻴﻬﺎ ﺃﻭ ﺘﻜﻨﺱ ﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﺍﻝﺒﻴـﺕ، ﻓﻲ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﺭ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻜﻌﺎﺩﺘﻬﺎ ﺇﻻ ﺃﻥ ﻭﺠﻬﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺘﺘﺨﻠﻠـﻪ ﺍﺒﺘـﺴﺎﻤﺔ ﻋﺭﻴﻀﺔ ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺴﺒﺒﻬﺎ! ﻤﻥ ﻝﻴﻠﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻊ ﺯﻭﺠﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﻤﺱ ﺃﻭ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﻼﻗﻁ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﻤﺴﻜﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻓﻤﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺤﺎﻭل ﺍﻹﺴﺭﺍﻉ ﻓﺄﻨـﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴـﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻨﺘﻅﺭﻨﻲ ﻁﻭﻴﻼ ،ﺨﺭﺠﺕ ﻤﺴﺭﻋﺎ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺒﺩﺕ ﻝـﻲ ﺃﻭل ﺍﻝﺜﻨﻴـﺔ ﻭﻫﻲ ﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﻀﻴﻕ ﻏﻴﺭ ﻤﻌﺒﺩ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺴﻠﺴﻠﺔ ﺠﺒﺎل ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ...ﺍﻋﺘـﺩﺍل ﺍﻝﻁﻘﺱ ﻭﺼﻔﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺠﻭ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻘﻠل ﻤﻥ ﺴﺭﻋﺘﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺒﺩﺃ ﺸـﻌﺎﻉ ﺸـﻤﺱ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﺸﺭﺓ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﺭ ﻴﺴﺘﺒﺩل ﺒﺄﺴﺨﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﻠﻴﻬـﺎ ...ﻤﻴـﺎﻩ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﻤﺭﺁﺓ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﻌﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺘﺠﻤل ﺒﻬﺎ ﻝﻨﺎ ،ﺃﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﺩﻓﻠﻰ ﺒﺸﻜﻠﻬﺎ ﻭﺭﺘﺎﺒﺔ 50
ﻋﻔﻭﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻀﻔﺎﻑ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﺘﺤﻔﺔ ﺃﺭﺒﻴﺴﻙ ﻤﺭﺼﻌﺔ ﺒﺎﻝﻘﻁﻊ ﺍﻝﻔـﻀﻴﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻌﻬﺩ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﻴﻡ ،ﺃﻭﺭﺍﻗﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﺨﻀﺭﺍﺀ ...ﺭﺍﺌﺤﺔ ﺍﻝﻴﺎﺴﻤﻴﻥ ﺘﺯﺩﺍﺩ ﺍﻨﺒﻌﺎﺜﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻬﻭﺍﺀ ﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﻻﻤﺴﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺍﻝﺨﻁﻭﻁ ﺍﻝﺸﻤﺴﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﻼﻤﻌﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺴﺎﻗﻁﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﻠﻴﻤﻭﻥ ...ﻭﺼﻠﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﺭﻯ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺴﻭﻯ ﻤﺘﺎﻋﻨـﺎ ﺘﺤﺕ ﺍﻝﺸﺠﺭﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺒﺴﺎﻁ ﻋﺸﺒﻲ ﺃﺨﻀﺭ ،ﺃﺨﻀﺭ ﺯﻴﺘﻲ ...ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜـﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ...ﺭﺤﺕ ﺃﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺠﻤﻴﻊ ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺎﺕ ﻭﻴﻘﻴﻨﻲ ﺃﻨﻬـﺎ ﺤـﻭﻝﻲ ﺘﺭﺍﻗﺒﻨﻲ ...ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﻫﻨﺎ ﺃﻭ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ،ﺃﻭ ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﻹﺤﻀﺎﺭ ﻤﺎﺀ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﺒﻊ ﺍﻝﻘﺭﻴﺏ ،ﻓﻬﻲ ﻻ ﺘﺸﺭﺏ ﻤﻥ ﻤﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ،ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺘﻔﻜﻴﺭﻱ ﺒﻤﻜـﺎﻥ ﻭﺠﻭﺩﻫﺎ ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﻫﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ﺘﻀﻊ ﻴﺩﻴﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻋﻴﻨـﻲ ،ﻗﺎﻝـﺕ ﻝـﻲ ﺘﺩﺍﻋﺒﻨﻲ" :ﻤﻠﺢ ﺃﻡ ﺴﻜﺭ؟" ﻱ ﻭﻗﻠـﺕ ﻝﻬـﺎ" :ﻻ ﻻﻤﺴﺕ ﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻤﻭﺝ ،ﺍﻝﻨﺎﻋﻡ ،ﺍﻝﻐﺯﻴﺭ ﺒﻴﺩﺍ ﻴﺴﻌﻨﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻠﺤﻅﺔ ﺇﻻ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻗﻭل ﺴﻜﺭ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺕ ﺴﻜﺭ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻜﻤﺜﻠـﻪ ﺴﻜﺭ ،ﻝﻴﺱ ﻜﺎﻝﺫﻱ ﻓﻲ ﺤﺎﻨﻭﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﺅﺴﺴﺔ ﻭﺒﻴـﺘﻜﻡ ،ﺃﻨـﺕ ﺒﻁﺒﻌـﻙ ﻭﺤﻼﻭﺓ ﻜﻼﻤﻙ ﺃﺤﻠﻰ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺴﻜﺭ ،ﺴﻼﺴﺔ ﺤﺭﻜﺎﺕ ﻴﺩﻴﻙ ،ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻓـﻙ، ﺴﻜﺭ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺒﺠﺴﺩﻙ ﺍﻝﻨﺤﻴل ﺍﻝﺼﺎﺭﺥ ﺒﺄﻨﻭﺜﺘﻪ ﻤﻥ ﻏﻴﺭ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻌﻠﻤﻴﻥ ،ﺴﻜﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺍﻨﺤﻨﺎﺀﺓ ﻋﻔﻭﻴﺔ ﻤﻥ ﻗﺎﻤﺘﻙ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺘﺨﻠﻠﻬﺎ ﻨﻅﺭﺍﺕ ﺠﺎﻨﺒﻴﺔ ﺒﺭﻴﺌﺔ ﺴﺎﺨﻨﺔ ﻤﻥ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻙ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﻝﺴﺕ ﺴﻜﺭ ﺍﻝﺠﺎﺘﻭﻩ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻝﻘﻬﻭﺓ ﻭﺍﻝﺸﺎﻱ ،ﺇﻨﻤـﺎ ﺴﻜﺭ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﻭﺍﻝﻨﺴﺎﺀ ،ﺠﺎﺫﺒﻴﺘﻬﻥ ﻭﺸﻲﺀ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻌﺭﻓـﻪ ﺃﻭ ﻴـﺫﻕ ﻁﻌﻤـﻪ ﻏﻴﺭﻱ ...ﻴﺒﺤﺙ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﻜﻴﻥ ﻋﻨﻪ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺃﺤﻼﻤﻪ ﺍﻝﻤﺒﻌﺜﺭﺓ ...ﺒﺸﻲﺀ ﻴﻘﻭل 51
ﺃﻨﻪ ﻴﺸﺒﻬﻙ ،ﻭﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺒﺎﻝﺭﺠل ﺍﻝﻐﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻜﻥ ﺒﺄﻁﺭﺍﻑ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﻴﻨـﺔ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﻭﻋﺴﻰ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺩﺍﻴﻨﻪ ﺒﻌﺽ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻘﺩ ﻷﺨﺭ ﺍﻝﺸﻬﺭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻝﻥ ﻴﺄﺘﻲ" ﺸﺩﺩﺘﻬﺎ ﻨﺤﻭﻱ ﻭﺤﻴﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﻘﺒﻠﺔ ﻭﻋﻨﺎﻕ ،ﺃﺨﺫﺘﻬﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻜـﺎﻥ ﺍﻝـﺫﻱ ﻗﻤﺕ ﺒﺘﺠﻬﻴﺯﻩ ،ﺠﻠﺴﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺠﺎﻨﺒﻲ ،ﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ ﺩﻋﻨﺎ ﻨﺸﺭﺏ ﻜﻭﺒﻴﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻘﻬﻭﺓ ،ﻨﺴﺘﻤﺘﻊ ﺒﺎﻝﻁﺒﻴﻌﺔ ﺒﻌﺽ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ،ﺩﻋﻨﺎ ﻨﺘﻨﺎﻭل ﺇﻓﻁﺎﺭﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻅل ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻭﺒﻌﺩﻫﺎ ﻨﺒﺩﺃ ﺭﺤﻠﺘﻨﺎ" ﻫﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺤﻀﺭﺕ ﺍﻷﻁﻌﻤﺔ ﻭﺍﻝﻤـﺸﺭﻭﺒﺎﺕ .ﺃﺨﺭﺠـﺕ ﻁﻌـﺎﻡ ﺍﻹﻓﻁﺎﺭ ،ﺸﺭﺍﺌﺢ ﺍﻝﺠﺒﻥ ﺍﻝﺼﻔﺭﺍﺀ ﺍﻝﻬﻭﻝﻨﺩﻴـﺔ ،ﺨﺒـﺯ ﺍﻝﺴﻨﺩﻭﻴـﺸﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﺼﻐﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻨﺄﻜﻠﻪ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ﻭﺒﺭﻏﺒﺔ ،ﺯﻴﺕ ﺍﻝﺯﻴﺘﻭﻥ ﻭﺍﻝﺯﻋﺘـﺭ ﻓﻬـﺫﺍ ﺇﻓﻁﺎﺭ ﺃﻤﻲ ﻭﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺫﻜﺭﺍﻫﺎ ﺇﻓﻁﺎﺭﻱ. ﻭﻋﺩﺘﻬﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﺩ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺨﻠﻴﻁﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺘﺫﻭﻗﻪ ﻤﻥ ﻗﺒل ...ﺃﺤﻀﺭﺕ ﺍﻝﺠﺒﻥ ﺍﻷﺼﻔﺭ ﻭﺯﻴﺕ ﺍﻝﺯﻴﺘﻭﻥ ﻭﻗﻠﻴل ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺯﻋﺘﺭ ،ﻗﻁﻌﺕ ﺍﻝﺠـﺒﻥ ﻗﻁﻌـﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﻭﻋﺎﺀ ،ﻭﻀﻌﺕ ﺯﻴﺕ ﺍﻝﺯﻴﺘﻭﻥ ﻭﻗﻠﻴﻼ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺯﻋﺘﺭ ،ﺒﺩﺃﻨﺎ ﻨﺄﻜل ﻤﺎ ﺨﻠﻁﺕ ﺒﺎﻝﺨﺒﺯ ،ﺴﺭﺕ ﺠﺩﺍ ﺒﻔﻜﺭﺘﻲ ...ﻭﺠﺒﺔ ﻓﻁﻭﺭ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ. ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺍﺤﺘﺴﺎﺀﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻘﻬﻭﺓ ﺍﺒﺘﺴﻤﺕ ،ﻭﺴﺄﻝﺘﻨﻲ" :ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻴﻥ ﺴﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻓﻲ ﻗﺎﺭﺒﻨﺎ؟" ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻓﺎﺠﺌﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ،ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻬﺎ" :ﻻ ﺃﻋﻠﻡ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ...ﻜﺎﻝﻌﺎﺩﺓ" 52
ﻜﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﻻ ﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﺒﻌﻴﺩﺍ ،ﻜﻨﺎ ﻨﻤﻀﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻨـﺼل ﺇﻝﻰ ﺠﺒل ﻴﺴﻤﻰ "ﻤﺭﻤﻰ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ" ﻓﻬﻨﺎﻙ ﺃﻁﻴﺏ ﺃﻨﻭﺍﻉ ﺍﻝﻌﻨﺏ ﻭﺍﻝﺭﻤﺎﻥ، ﻜﻨﺎ ﻨﺴﺘﻅل ﻓﻲ ﻅﻼل ﺸﺠﺭ ﺍﻝﺘﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻜﺒﻴـﺭ ﻭﻤـﻥ ﺤﻭﻝﻨـﺎ ﺃﻭﺭﺍﻗـﻪ ﺍﻝﻌﺭﻴﻀﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺴﺎﻗﻁﺔ. ﺃﻨﻬﻴﻨﺎ ﺍﻹﻓﻁﺎﺭ ،ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﻜﻲ ﺃﺘﻴﻘﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺠﻬﺎﺯﻴﺘﻪ ،ﺨﺎﺼﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺠﺎﺩﻴﻑ ﻓﻬﻲ ﻗﺩﻴﻤﺔ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ،ﺍﻨﺘﻬﻴـﺕ ﻭﺘﺄﻜـﺩﺕ ﻤـﻥ ﺼﻴﺎﻨﺘﻪ ،ﺭﻓﻌﺕ ﺒﻨﻁﺎﻝﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻷﻋﻠﻰ ﻜﻲ ﻻ ﻴﺼﻠﻪ ﺒﻠل ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ،ﺨﻠﻌـﺕ ﺤﺫﺍﺌﻲ ﻭﻭﻀﻌﺘﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ،ﺒﻴﻨﻤﺎ ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﻫـﻲ ﺒﺠﻤـﻊ ﺍﻷﻏـﺭﺍﺽ ﻭﺍﻷﻭﺍﻨﻲ ،ﺍﺘﺠﻬﺕ ﻨﺤﻭﻫﺎ ﻜﻲ ﺃﺤﻤل ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ﻤﺘﺎﻋﻨﺎ ﻭﻗﺩ ﻭﻀﻌﺕ ﻜـل ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻓﻲ ﺴﻠﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ،ﻫﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻏﺯﻝﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺘﺭﻜﺕ ﺍﻷﻏﺭﺍﺽ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻁﺭﻑ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﻭﻋﺩﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻤﺴﻜﺕ ﺒﻴﺩﻱ ﺘﻤـﺸﻲ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺃﻁـﺭﺍﻑ ﺃﺼﺎﺒﻌﻬﺎ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻝﺤﻤﺎﻤﺔ ﺘﻨﺘﻘﻲ ﺤﺒﺎﺕ ﻗﻤﺤﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﺤﺘﻤل ﺇﻁﺎﻝﺔ ﺍﻝﻨﻅـﺭ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﻫﻲ ﺘﻤﺸﻲ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ﺒﺭﺸﺎﻗﺔ ﻭﺨﻔﺔ ...ﻜﻠﻬﺎ ﺠﺎﺫﺒﻴﺔ ،ﺤﻤﻠﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺠﺴﺩ ﺍﻝﻨﺤﻴل ،ﺍﻝﺠﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﻔﻨﻥ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﻝﻕ ﺒﺨﻠﻘﻪ ﻭﺃﺒﺩﻉ ،ﺤﻤﻠﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﻫـﻲ ﺘﺭﺘﺩﻱ ﺜﻭﺒﻬﺎ ﺍﻷﺒﻴﺽ ﺍﻝﻁﻭﻴل ﻭﻝﻭ ﺴﺭﺕ ﺒﻬﺎ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﺼـل ﻝﻤـﺎ ﻱ ﻷﺤﻤﻠﻬﺎ ﺸﻜﻴﺕ ،ﺒل ﺴﺄﺸﻜﺭ ﺍﷲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻨﻌﻤﺎﺌﻪ ﺃﻥ ﻭﻀﻊ ﺍﻝﻘﻭﺓ ﺒﺴﺎﻋﺩ ﻭﺃﻋﻴﺵ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﻤﻌﻬﺎ ﺒﻜل ﻤﻌﺎﻨﻴﻬﺎ ...ﻭﻀﻌﺘﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ،ﺘﺭﻜﻨـﺎ ﺨﻠﻔﻨﺎ ﺒﺴﺎﻁ ﺃﺨﻀﺭ ﻭﻭﺭﻭﺩ ﺼﻔﺭﺍﺀ ﻭﺤﻤﺭﺍﺀ ،ﻋﺸﺏ ﺍﻝﺒﺴﺒﺎﺱ ،ﻜﻨـﺎ
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ﻨﺄﻜﻠﻪ ﻭﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻁﻌﻤﻪ ﺒﻠﺫﺓ ﺍﻝﺠﻠﻭﺱ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﺠﺩﻑ ﻭﻫﻲ ﺘﻘﺎﺒﻠﻨﻲ ﺒﺴﺤﺭ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﺨﺎﺘﻡ ﺜﻐﺭﻫﺎ ،ﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﺃﻴﻥ ﺤﺫﺍﺌﻙ؟" ﻭﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﺃﺠﻴﺒﻬﺎ ﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﺴﺄﺨﻠﻊ ﺤﺫﺍﺌﻲ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻴﻀ ﹰﺎ" ﺃﻭﻤﺄﺕ ﺒﺭﺃﺴـﻬﺎ ﺘﻌﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﺍﻋﺒﺔ ﻜﻌﺎﺩﺘﻬﺎ "ﻓﺄﻨﺕ ﻝﺴﺕ ﺃﻓﻀل ﻤﻨﻲ" "ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺤﺫﺍﺌﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺠﺎﻨﺒﻙ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻴﻤﻴﻥ" ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻬﺎ. ﺘﺤﺎﻭل ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﺜﻠﻲ ﻭﺘﺸﺎﺒﻬﻨﻲ ﺒﺄﻓﻌﺎﻝﻲ ﻭﺃﻗﻭﺍﻝﻲ ﻭﺃﻨـﺎ ﺃﻴـﻀﺎ، ﻓﻨﺤﻥ ﻨﺤﺏ ﺒﻌﻀﻨﺎ ﺒﺸﻜل ﺠﻨﻭﻨﻲ ﻭﻨﻌﺸﻕ ﺃﺭﻭﺍﺤﻨﺎ ﺒﺄﺒﺩﻴـﺔ ،ﻨﺘﺠـﺴﺩ ﺍﻝﻔﻜﺭﺓ ﻭﻨﺠﺴﺩﻫﺎ ﻗﺒل ﺍﻝﻨﻁﻕ ﺒﻬﺎ ،ﺘﻌﺸﻘﻨﻲ ﻭﺃﻋﺸﻘﻬﺎ ،ﻜﺄﻨﻨـﺎ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﻨـﺎ ﺒﻌﻀﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻋﺎﻝﻡ ﻏﻴﺭ ﻫﺫﺍ ﻤﻥ ﻗﺒل ﻭﺃﻋﺎﺩ ﺍﷲ ﺨﻠﻘﻨﺎ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺓ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺼﻭﺭﺓ ﺒﺸﺭ ﻓﺎﻨﺘﺯﻋﻨﺎ ﺒﺤﺼﻴﻠﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ ،ﻭﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺭﺯﻗﻨﺎ ﺒﺄﻀﻌﺎﻑ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﺸﻭﺓ ﻭﺍﻝﻘﺭﺒﺔ ﻭﺍﻝﺭﺤﻤﺔ ،ﺤﻨﺎﻥ ﻭﻁﻤﺄﻨﻴﻨﺔ ﻨﺘﺒﺎﺩﻝﻬﺎ ﻤﺎ ﺩﺍﻤﺕ ﺃﻨﻔﺎﺴـﻨﺎ ﺘﻼﻤﺱ ﺃﺠﺴﺎﺩﻨﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﻘﻠﻭﺏ. ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻑ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ،ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻬﺎ" :ﺍﺒﻘﻲ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻀﻊ ﺍﻝﺴﻠﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻀﻔﺔ" ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺤﻤﻠﻬﺎ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﻜﻲ ﻻ ﺘﺘﺴﺦ ﻗﺩﻤﻴﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻁﻔﻭﻝﻴﺘﻴﻥ ،ﺃﺨﺫﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺎﻉ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﻭﻭﻀﻌﺘﻪ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﺭﺝ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﻌﺔ ﺍﻷﺨﻀﺭ ،ﻝﻡ ﻴﺨﺘﻠﻑ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﺴﻔﺢ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺎﺒﻠﺔ ،ﻋﺩﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻜﻲ ﺃﺤﻤﻠﻬـﺎ ﻭﻫـﻲ 54
ﺒﺨﺠﻠﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﺤﻤﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺨﺩﻫﺎ ﺘﻠﻤﻠﻡ ﺴﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﻤﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻜﻭﻥ ﻜﻲ ﺘﺤﺼﺭﻫﺎ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺃﻀﻠﻌﻲ .ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺨﻠﻑ ،ﻗﺎﻝـﺕ" :ﺩﻋﻨـﻲ ﺃﻨـﺯل ﻭﺤﺩﻱ" ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻋﻠﻡ ﺒﻘﺭﺍﺭﺓ ﻨﻔﺴﻬﺎ ،ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﻨﺤﻭﻫﺎ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺘﺭﺩﺩ ،ﺤﻤﻠﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﺜل ﻁﻔل ﻭﺩﻴﻊ ،ﻓﺠﺴﺩ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺭﺸﻴﻕ ﺠﺩﺍ ﻤﻼﺌﻜﻲ ﻭﻴﺴﻬل ﻋﻠـﻲ ﺤﻤﻠـﻪ ،ﻻ ﻴﺜﻘﻠﻨﻲ ﻻ ﺒل ﻴﻀﻊ ﺍﻝﻘﻭﺓ ﻜل ﺍﻝﻘﻭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ،ﺤﻤﻠﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﻴﺩﻱ ﺍﻝﻴﺴﺭﻯ ﺘﺤﺕ ﻗﺩﻤﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﻴﻤﻨﻰ ﺘﺤﺕ ﺍﻝﻌﻨﻕ ،ﻓﺭﺡ ﺒﻬﺎ ...ﺒﻘﺒﻠﺔ ﺃﺩﺍﻋﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﻤـﺭﺓ ﺃﺤﺒﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺤﻤﻠﻬﺎ ﻭﺃﺴﻴﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻭﺴﻁ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﺤﻭل ﺍﻝﻘـﺎﺭﺏ ﻓﺭﺤـﺎ ﻤﺜـل ﻋﺼﻔﻭﺭ ﻴﻁﻭﻑ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﺴﺎﺘﻴﻥ ﻤﻐﺭﺩﺍ ﺒﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﺤﻭﻝﻪ ،ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﺘﺯﻏﺭﺩ ﻝﻨﺎ ،ﺍﻝﺸﻤﺱ ﺘﻀﻤﻨﺎ ﺒﺄﺸﻌﺘﻬﺎ ﺘﻬﻨﺌﻨﺎ ،ﺍﻷﻋﺸﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺌﻴـﺔ ﺘﻼﻤـﺴﻨﺎ ﻭﻻ ﺘﺤﺴﺩﻨﺎ ،ﻻ ﺒل ﻨﻤﺭ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﺘﻌﺎﻨﻘﻨﺎ ،ﻭﺍﻝﺯﻫﻭﺭ ﺒﻜل ﺃﻝﻭﺍﻨﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻀﻔﺔ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﺼﻔﺭﺍﺀ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﻨﺘﻅﺭﻨﺎ ﻝﺘﺸﺎﺭﻜﻨﺎ ﺒﻌﺒﻕ ﻤﻥ ﺭﺤﻴﻘﻬﺎ. ﺃﻨﺎ ﻓﺭﺤﺎ ﺒﻬﺎ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻌﺼﻔﻭﺭ ،ﻓﻬﻭ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻝﻪ ﺤﺒﻴﺒـﺔ ﻤﺜـل ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻭﻝﻴﺱ ﻝﻪ ﻴﺩﻴﻥ ﻴﺤﻤل ﻤﺤﺒﻭﺒﺘﻪ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻋﻨﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ ،ﻭﻻ ﺭﻭﺤـﺎ ﻤﺜل ﺭﻭﺤﻲ ﺘﺴﻤﻭ ﺒﻤﺤﺒﻭﺒﺘﻪ ﻭﻴﺭﻗﻴﻬﺎ ﻷﺴﻤﻰ ﻤﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻭﺠﻭﺩ. ﻴﻼﻤﺱ ﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﻁﻭﻴل ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺸﻌﺭ "ﺃﻨﻅﺭﻱ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻓﻘﺩ ﻭﻀﻌﺕ ﺸﻌﺭﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ،ﻜﻴﻑ ﺃﻨﺯﻝﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴـﺼل ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺭﺃﺴﻙ" ﻭﻫﻲ ﺘﺼﺭﺥ ﺼﺭﺨﺎﺕ ﻜﻠﻬﺎ ﻓﺭﺡ ،ﻁﺭﺏ ﻭﻨﺸﻭﺓ... 55
"ﻻ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ" ﺃﻤﺴﻜﺕ ﺒﻌﻨﻘﻲ. "ﺴﺄﻨﺯل ﺒﺭﺃﺴﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﺃﻴـﻀﺎ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺤﺎﻭﻝـﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺒﻠﻠﻨـﻲ ،ﻭﺇﻥ ﺴﻘﻁﺕ! ﻨﺴﻘﻁ ﻜﻼﻨﺎ ،ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﺴﺄﻜﻭﻥ ﺭﺍﻀﻴﺔ ﻜل ﺍﻝﺭﻀﺎ" ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. ﻭﻀﻌﺘﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺒﻜل ﺭﻓﻕ ﻭﺤﺫﺭ ،ﻓﻠﻴﺱ ﻋﻨـﺩﻱ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺨﺎﻑ ﻭﺘﺭﺠﻑ ﻋﻴﻨﺎﻱ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺴﻭﺍﻫﺎ ،ﻫﻲ ﺠﻭﻫﺭﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﺜﻤﻴﻨﺔ ،ﺫﺍﺘﻲ، ﻭﻜل ﻤﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻭﺠﻭﺩ ،ﺘﺸﺩﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻻ ﺘﻨﻔﺼل ﻋﻨﻲ ،ﺘﺒﻘﻰ ﻤﻠﺘﺤﻤﺔ ﺒﻲ. "ﺃﻨﺕ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺠﻨﻭﻨﺔ ،ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺭﻜﺏ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ،ﺍﺘﺭﻜﻴﻨـﻲ ﺃﻭﻻ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ" ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻬﺎ ﻭﻫﻲ ﺘﻼﻋﺒﻨﻲ. "ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻷﻤﺭ ﻻ ﻴﻌﻨﻴﻨﻲ ،ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺘﺩﺒﺭ ﺍﻷﻤﺭ ﻭﺘﺭﻜﺏ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺘﺭﻜﻨﻲ" "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺍﺘﺭﻜﻴﻨﻲ ﻭﻝﻭ ﻝﺜﻭﺍﻨﻲ ،ﺇﺫﺍ ﺭﻜﺒﺕ ﺒﻬﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴﻘﺔ ﻓﻼ ﺘﻠﻭﻤﻴﻨﻲ، ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺩ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻭﺯﻥ ﺍﻝﺨﻔﻴﻑ ﻭﺍﻝﻔﻀل ﻝﻙ" ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻬﺎ. ﺘﺸﻌﻠﻨﻲ ﺒﻌﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﺤﺭﺘﻴﻥ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻌﻲ ﺃﻭ ﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﻤﺩﻯ ﻭﻗـﻭﺓ ﻲ ﻓﺄﻨﺕ ﻻ ﻭﻝﻥ ﺘﺅﺫﻴﻨﻲ" ﺠﺎﺫﺒﻴﺘﻬﻥ ،ﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﻻ ﻴﻬﻡ ،ﺍﺼﻌﺩ ﻭﺍﺴﻘﻁ ﻋﻠ
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ﺃﺭﻜﺏ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﻭﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺘﺤﺘﻲ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺴﺒﺏ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺃﺫﻯ ،ﻓﻬﻲ ﻤﻠﺘﺤﻤﺔ ﻲ ﺒﻲ ،ﺘﻀﻤﻨﻲ ﺒﻴﺩﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﻨﺤﻨﻲ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻫﻲ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻅﻬﺭﻫﺎ ﻭﻗﺩﻤ ﻲ ﻤﻠﺘﻔـﻴﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﻭﻤﻥ ﺨﺎﺼﺭﺘﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﻠﺘﺼﻕ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﺫﺭﺍﻋـ ﺤﻭﻝﻬﺎ ﻴﻁﻭﻗﺎﻨﻬﺎ ...ﻋﻨﻴﺩﺓ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻥ ﺘﺭﺠﻊ ﻋﻥ ﺭﺃﻴﻬـﺎ ﻭﻝـﻥ ﺘﺘﺭﻜﻨﻲ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﺸﺩﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ. "ﺍﻨﺘﺒﻬﻲ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺴﺄﻨﺯل ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ،ﻜﻭﻨﻲ ﺤﺫﺭﺓ" ﻱ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻻ ﺘﺘـﺄﺜﺭ ﻤـﻥ ﺜﻘـل ﺼﺎﺭ ﻜل ﺤﻤل ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺴﺎﻋﺩ ﻭﺯﻨﻲ ،ﻭﻀﻌﺕ ﻗﺩﻤﻲ ﺍﻝﻴﻤﻨﻰ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺩﺍﺨل ﻭﺒﻜـل ﺤﻤﻠـﻲ ﺸـﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﻤﺭﻓﻘﻲ ﺍﻷﻴﻤﻥ ﻭﺨﺸﺏ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﻗﺩ ﺍﻝﺘﺼﻘﺎ ،ﻗﻔـﺯﺕ ﺒـﺴﺭﻋﺔ ﻓـﻭﻕ ﺠﺴﺩﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﻨﺤﻴل ﻤﻥ ﻏﻴﺭ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺅﺫﻴﻬﺎ. "ﺃﺭﺃﻴﺕ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺃﻝﻡ ﺃﻗل ﻝﻙ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺘﺭﻜﻙ ﻭﻝﻥ ﺘﺅﺫﻴﻨﻲ ،ﺍﺴـﻤﻊ ﻜﻼﻤﻲ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻻ ﺘﻨﺩﻡ" ﺃﻭﻤﺄﺕ ﺒﻌﻴﻨﻲ ﻭﺒﺤﺭﻜﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺭﺃﺴﻲ ﻤﺎﺯﺤﺔ "ﺃﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﺘﺭﻴﻥ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ؟" "ﺃﺘﻬﺯﺃ ﺒﻲ؟ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺤﺏ ﻫﺯﻝﻙ ﻭﺃﺤﺒﻙ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ"... ﺃﻤﺴﻜﺕ ﺒﺸﻌﺭﻱ ،ﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﺃﻋﺩ ﻤﺎ ﻗﻠﺕ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺴﻤﻊ ،ﺃﻋﺩ ﺤﺒﻴﺒـﻲ ﻓﻘﺩ ﺫﻜﺭﺕ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺘﺤﺒﻨﻲ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ...ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ؟ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ؟ ﺃﺴﻤﻌﻨﻲ، 57
ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻷﺤﺭﻑ ﻭﺍﻝﻜﻠﻤﺎﺕ ﻭﺃﺭﺍﻙ ﻭﺃﻨـﺕ ﺘﺴﺭﻕ ﺍﻝﻌﺒﺎﺭﺓ ﻤﻥ ﻋﻴﻨﻲ" ﻀﺤﻜﺕ ﺒﺴﺭﻭﺭ. "ﻨﻌﻡ ...ﻨﻌﻡ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﻤﺴﻜﻴﻥ ﺒﺸﻌﺭﻱ ﺒﺸﺩﺓ ،ﺸـﺩﻱ ﻝﻴـﺯﺩﺍﺩ ﺸﻭﻗﻲ ﻭﻴﻨﺜﺭ" ﻗﺒﻠﺘﻨﻲ ﻭﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﻜل ﻴﻭﻡ ﺃﻋﻴﺵ ﺒﻘﺭﺒﻙ ﺃﺤﺒـﻙ ﺃﻜﺜـﺭ ﻭﺃﻜﺜﺭ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺕ ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻝﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺩﻨﻴﺎ" "ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﺠﻤﻴل ﻝﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺩﻨﻴﺎ ،ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﺠﻤﻴل ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺩﻨﻴﺎ ﺃﻨﺕ" ﻭﺍﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ،ﻤﺘﺠﻬﻴﻥ ﻭﻗﻠﻭﺒﻨﺎ ﺨﺎﻭﻴﺔ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺘﻘﺒل ﻭﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺃﺭﻭﺍﺤﻨﺎ ﺘﻨﺘﻅﺭ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﻭﻡ ،ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﺒﺎﻝﺘﺠﺩﻴﻑ ﻭﻝﻡ ﺃﻜﺘﺭﺙ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ﻤﻥ ﺴـﻭﺀ ﻤﺠﺎﺩﻴﻔﻨﺎ ،ﺘﺠﻠﺱ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻲ ﺘﻌﻁﻴﻨﻲ ﻗﻭﺓ ﺒﻭﺠﻭﺩﻫﺎ ﻭﺍﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺎﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺘﻘـﻭل: "ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ...ﺇﺫﺍ ﺘﻌﺒﺕ ﺴﺄﻋﻁﻴﻙ ﻗﺒﻠﺔ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻁﺎﻗﺔ ﺘﺸﺩ ﻤﻥ ﻋﺯﻤﻙ ،ﻷﻨـﻪ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻻ ﻴﻭﺠﺩ ﺇﻻ ﻓﻲ ﺸﻔﺘﺎﻱ" ﺘﻅﺎﻫﺭﺕ ﺒﺎﻝﺘﻌﺏ ﺒﺄﺴﻠﻭﺏ ﻤﺭﺡ "ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﺎﻝﺘﻌﺏ ﺍﻵﻥ" "ﻻ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ ...ﻻ ﺘﺤﺎﻭل ﺨﺩﺍﻋﻲ ﻓﻼ ﻴﺒﺩﻭ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﺍﻝﺘﻌﺏ ،ﺘـﺎﺒﻊ ﻴـﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﻓﺄﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﻘﻭﻱ ﺍﻝﺤﻨﻭﻥ"
58
"ﺃﻝﻡ ﺘﻌﺩﻴﻨﻨﻲ ﺒﻘﺒﻠﺔ ﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﺃﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺒﺎﻝﺘﻌﺏ؟ ﻫﻴﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻨﺼل ﺒﺴﺭﻋﺔ، ﻓﻘﺒﻼﺘﻙ ﻤﺜل ﺴﻌﺭﺍﺕ ﺤﺭﺍﺭﻴﺔ ﺃﻭ ﻤﻨﺸﻁﺎﺕ" ﺘﺎﺒﻌﻨﺎ ﻤﺴﻴﺭﻨﺎ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺒﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﺘﻬﻜﻤﻲ ﻀـﺎﺤﻙ ﻭﺃﺨـﺭﻯ ﺘـﺴﻤﻌﻨﻲ ﺘﻤﻨﻴﺎﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻌﻲ ،ﻜﺄﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻝﻨﺎ ﻁﻔﻠﺔ ،ﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﻝﻭ ﺃﻥ ﻝﻨﺎ ﻁﻔﻠﺔ ﻷﺠﻠﺴﺘﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻭﺴﻁ ﻫﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺔ ﺍﻝﻴﻤﻨﻰ ﻨﻐﺫﻱ ﺃﺭﻭﺍﺤﻨﺎ ﺒﺎﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﺍﻝﺠﻤﻴل ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﺯﻴﻥ ﺭﺤﻠﺘﻨﺎ ،ﺸﺠﺭﺘﻨﺎ ،ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻡ ﺍﻝﻭﻝﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﻀﻔﻲ ﻝﺤﻴﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﺒﻬﺠﺔ ﻭﺒﻬﺎﺀ ،ﺠﻤﺎﻻ ،ﺸﺎﻋﺭﻴﺔ ...ﻴﺴﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﻁﻔل ﺒﻴﻨﻨﺎ ،ﻴﺘﺨﻠﻠﻨـﺎ ﻭﻴﻌﻜﺱ ﺒﺭﺍﺀﺘﻪ ﻭﻋﻔﻭﻴﺘﻪ ﻋﻠﻴﻨﺎ" "ﻻ ﻓﺎﻝﻁﻔﻠﺔ ﺴﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﺯﻋﺠﺔ ...ﺒﻜﺎﺌﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻠﻴل ﻭﺍﻝﻨﻬـﺎﺭ ﺴـﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﻭﺴﻴﻘﻰ ﻏﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﻋﺘﺩﻨﺎ ﺴﻤﺎﻋﻬﺎ ...ﻴﻜﻔﻴﻨﻲ ﺼﺭﺍﺨﻙ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺤﻀﺭ ﻝﻠﺒﻴﺕ ﻤﺘﺄﺨﺭﺍ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻏﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﻋﺩ ﺍﻝﻤﻌﺘﺎﺩ" "ﻝﻴﺱ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻐﺭﻴﺏ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺴﻤﻊ ﻤﻨﻙ ﻤﺜل ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺭﻭﻤﺎﻨـﺴﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﻔﺎﺌﻘـﺔ، ﻓﺄﻨﺘﻡ ﺍﻝﺭﺠﺎل ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ،ﺨﺎﻝﻴﻴﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﻭﺡ ﻜﺎﻝﺨﺸﺏ ،ﺴﺄﺭﻴﻙ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﻝﻴـﻭﻡ ﻜﻴﻑ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﺘﺫﻤﺭ ﻭﺍﻹﺯﻋﺎﺝ" ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﺕ ﻤﻨﻲ ﻭﺼﺎﺭﺕ ﺘﻀﺭﺏ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺼﺩﺭﻱ ﺒﻴـﺩﻴﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻨـﺎﻋﻤﺘﻴﻥ ﻭﺒﻘﺭﺍﺭﺓ ﻨﻔﺴﻬﺎ ﻻ ﺘﺭﻴﺩ ﺇﻴﺫﺍﺌﻲ ،ﻓﻬﻲ ﺘﻌﻠﻡ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺃﺩﺍﻋﺒﻬﺎ ،ﻭﻻ ﺘﻌﻠﻡ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺃﺯﻏﺭﺩ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻋﻤﺎﻗﻲ ﻭﺃﻨﺎﻤﻠﻬﺎ ﺘﺭﺍﻗﺹ ﻭﺠﻬﻲ. 59
"ﺃﻋﺩﻨﻲ ...ﺃﻋﺩﻨﻲ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﺫﻫﺎﺏ ﻤﻌﻙ ،ﻴﺎ ﻝﺴﻭﺀ ﺤﻅﻲ ﺇﺫﺍ ﻭﻝـﺩ ﻁﻔﻠﻨﺎ ﻤﺜﻠﻙ" "ﻻ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺭﻀﻰ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻁﻔﻠﻨﺎ ﻤﺜﻠﻲ ،ﻓﻠﻴﺱ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺃﺠﻤل ﻤﻨﻙ ،ﻭﻻ ﺃﺭﻕ ﻭﺃﻨﻌﻡ ،ﺃﺴﻤﻌﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ...ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﻗﺒل ﺒﻁﻔل ﻻ ﻴﺤﻤل ﻁﺒﻌﻙ ﺍﻝﺭﺅﻭﻑ ﻭﺨﻔﺔ ﻅﻠﻙ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻴﻘﻴﻥ ﺒﺄﻨﻪ ﺴﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﻤﺜﻠﻙ ﻋﻨﻴـﺩ ﻭﺠﻤﻴل ﻭﺭﻗﻴﻕ ﺃﻴﻀ ﹰﺎ" "ﻝﻘﺩ ﺴﺭﻗﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻴﻥ ﺴﻨﻤﻀﻲ؟" "ﻗﺩ ﻗﺭﺒﻨﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻝﻡ ﻴﺒﻘﻰ ﺍﻝﻜﺜﻴﺭ ،ﺤﺩﺜﻴﻨﻲ ...ﻜﻴﻑ ﺴﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﺒﻨﺘﻨﺎ؟ ﻲ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﻭﺸﻌﺭﺍ ﻤﺜل ﺸﻌﺭﻙ ،ﻭﻁﺒﻌـﺎ، ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺭﻴﺩﻫﺎ ﺒﻌﻴﻨﻴﻥ ﻤﺜل ﻋﻴﻨ ﻋﻁﻔﺎ ،ﻭﺤﺒﺎ ﻜﺎﻝﺫﻱ ﻋﻨﺩﻙ ،ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻻ ﺘﻁﻠﺒﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺍﷲ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺨﻠﻘﻬﺎ ﻤﺜﻠﻲ، ﻷﻨﻬﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺘﺠﺩ ﻋﺭﻴﺴﺎ ﻭﺇﻥ ﻭﺠﺩﺕ ﻓﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻷﺭﻤل ﺠﺎﺭﻨﺎ ،ﺃﺩﻋﻲ ﺍﷲ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﺜﻠﻙ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺕ ﻁﻤﻭﺡ ﺃﻱ ﺸﺎﺏ ﻭﻤﻨﻴﺘﻪ ،ﻻ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻥ ﻤﺜل ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻙ ﻭﻻ ﺸﻔﺘﻴﻥ ﻤﺜل ﺸﻔﺘﻴﻙ ﻭﻻ ﺤﺎﺠﺏ ﻤﺜل ﺤﺎﺠﺒﻴـﻙ ،ﻭﻻ ﺨـﺩﺍ ﻤﺜـل ﺨﺩﻴﻙ ،ﻭﻻ ﺸﻔﺎﻓﻴﺔ ﻤﺜل ﺸﻔﺎﻓﻴﺘﻙ ...ﻨﺒﻴﻠﺔ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻭﻋﻁﻭﻓﺔ ،ﺃﺸﻙ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺍﷲ ﻗﺩ ﺸﻕ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﻨﺎﻥ ﻗﺴﻤﻴﻥ ،ﻗﺴﻤﺎ ﺃﻋﻁﺎﻩ ﺍﷲ ﻝﻜل ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻡ ﺒﺄﺴﺭﻩ ﻭﺍﻷﺨﺭ ﺃﻫﺩﺍﻩ ﻝﻙ ﻜﻲ ﺘﺴﻌﺩﻴﻨﻲ ﻭﺃﺴﻌﺩ ﺒﻙ ،ﻓﻠﻴﺱ ﻤﺜﻠﻙ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻭﺤﺒﻴﺒﺔ ...ﻝﻘـﺩ ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ"
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"ﻤﺎﺫﺍ؟ ﻫﻨﺎ؟" "ﻨﻌﻡ ﻫﻨﺎ" "ﻭﻝﻜﻨﻙ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺄﺘﻲ ﺒﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻗﺒل" "ﻨﻌﻡ ...ﺃﻨﺎ ﻓﻌﻼ ﻝﻡ ﺁﺕ ﺒﻙ ﻤﻥ ﻗﺒل ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﻨﺎ ،ﻭﻝﻜﻥ ﻝﻤﺎ ﻻ؟ ﺩﻋﻴﻨـﺎ ﻨﺭﻯ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﺤﺘﻀﻥ ﺍﻝﺠﺒﺎل ﻫﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺠﻤﺎل" ﻫﻲ ﻻ ﺘﻌﻠﻡ ﺃﻱ ﻤﻔﺎﺠﺌﺔ ﻗﻤﺕ ﺒﺘﺠﻬﻴﺯﻫﺎ ﻝﻬﺎ. ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻑ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ،ﻨﺯﻝﺕ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻭﻻ ...ﺃﻨﺯﻝﺕ ﺒﻐـﺩﺍﺩ ،ﺃﺤـﺎﻓﻅ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺒﻘﻰ ﻭﻫﻨﺩﺍﻤﻬﺎ ﻨﻅﻴﻔﺔ ،ﻓﻔﺴﺘﺎﻨﻬﺎ ﺃﺒﻴﺽ ﺸﻔﺎﻑ ،ﺃﻨﺯﻝﺘﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﺒﻜل ﺭﻓﻕ ﻭﺘﺎﺒﻌﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﻴﺭ. "ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻴﻥ ﺘﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺄﺨﺫﻨﻲ؟ ﺍﺭﺘﻔﺎﻉ ﺍﻷﻋﺸﺎﺏ ﻴﻌﻴﻕ ﺤﺭﻜﺘﻲ" "ﻻ ﻴﻬﻤﻙ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﺭﻴﺩﻴﻥ" ﺤﻤﻠﺘﻬﺎ ﺃﺴﺒﺢ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻘﺵ ﻭﺍﻝﺠﺫﻭﺭ ،ﻜﻨﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﻘﺭﺒﺔ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﻜـﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺴﻨﺠﻠﺱ ﻓﻴﻪ "ﺃﻨﻅﺭ ...ﺃﻨﻅﺭ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺃﻝﻴﺱ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻓـﻲ ﺴـﻔﺢ ﺍﻝﺠﺒل ﺤﺭﻑ ﺍﺴﻤﻲ؟"
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"ﻗﺩ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻤﺤﺽ ﺼﺩﻓﺔ" ﺘﺼﻨﻌﺕ ﻋﺩﻡ ﺍﻝﻌﻠﻡ. "ﻻ ...ﻻ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺒﻬﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺼﺩﻓﺔ" ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺸﺠﺭﺓ ...ﻭﺘﺤﺘﻬﺎ ﺸﻤﻭﻉ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺓ ،ﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﺃﺘـﺭﻯ ﻤـﺎ ﺃﺭﻯ؟" "ﻤﺎ ﺃﺠﻤﻠﻬﺎ ...ﻤﻥ ﺃﻴﻥ ﺃﺘﺕ ﻜل ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺸﻤﻭﻉ ...ﺃﻨﺯﻝﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﺕ ﺃﺤﻤﻠﻬﺎ ...ﺃﻏﺎﺭ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻼﻤﺱ ﺍﻷﻋﺸﺎﺏ ﺠﺴﺩﻫﺎ ،ﺍﻷﻋﺸﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺼﻭﺼﺔ ﺒﺸﻜل ﻫﻨﺩﺴﻲ ﺭﺍﺌﻊ ،ﻭﻗﻔﺕ ﺘﻨﻅﺭ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺴﻔﺢ ﺍﻝﺠﺒل ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻏﺭﺴﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺍﻝﺯﻫـﻭﺭ ﺤـﺭﻑ ﺍﺴﻤﻬﺎ ،ﻁﺎل ﻨﻅﺭﻫﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺴﻔﻭﺡ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺤﺘﻀﻨﻨﺎ ،ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻜل ﻭﺍﺤﺩ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﺤﺭﻑ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺤﺭﻑ ﺍﺴـﻤﻬﺎ ،ﺒـﺎﻷﺒﻴﺽ ﻭﺍﻷﺼـﻔﺭ ،ﺍﻷﺤﻤـﺭ، ﻭﺍﻝﺒﻨﻔﺴﺠﻲ ،ﻏﺎﺯﻝﺘﻨﻲ ﻋﻴﻨﺎﻫﺎ ﻭﺒﺩﻫﺸﺔ ﻋﻤﻴﻘﺔ ...ﻗﻠـﺕ ﻝﻬـﺎ" :ﻫـل ﻋﺭﻓﺕ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺃﺭﺩﺘﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻨﻲ ﻤﺘﻤﻴﺯﺓ ﻋﻥ ﻜل ﺍﻷﻭﻗﺎﺕ؟ ﺇﻨـﻪ ﻴﻭﻡ ﻋﻴﺩ ﺘﻌﺎﺭﻓﻨﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ" ﻋﺎﻨﻘﺘﻨﻲ ﺒﺩﻤﻭﻋﻬﺎ ﺘﻌﺒﺭ ﻋﻥ ﻓﺭﺡ ﺠﻡ ﺭﺃﻴﺘﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻨـﺴﻴﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﻠﺅﻝـﺅ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺨﺩﻫﺎ ،ﺍﺒﺘﺴﻤﺕ ﻭﻗﻠﺕ" :ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ...ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ...ﺃﺤﺒـﻙ ﻭﺴـﺄﺒﻘﻰ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ،ﺘﻤﻨﻴﺕ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻬﺎ ﻷﺭﺴﻡ ﺘﻀﺎﺭﻴﺱ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻜﻌﻔﻭﻴﺘﻙ ،ﻷﻏـﺯل ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻝﻙ ﻏﻁﺎﺀ ﺨﻭﻑ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺅﺫﻴﻙ ﺍﻝﺤـﺸﺭﺍﺕ ﺍﻝـﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﻭﺃﻜـﺭﻱ 62
ﺍﻝﺸﻤﺱ ﻭﺍﻝﻘﻤﺭ ﺩﻤﻴﺘﻴﻥ ﻓﻲ ﻴﺩﻴﻙ ﺘﻠﻌﺒﻴﻥ ﺒﻬﻤﺎ ﻝﺤﻴﻥ ﻋﻭﺩﺘﻲ ،ﻷﺠﻤـﻊ ﻜل ﺍﻝﻐﻴﻭﻡ ﺒﺎﻗﺔ ﻭﺭﺩ ﺃﻗﺩﻤﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻨﺯل ﻋﻠﻰ ﺭﻜﺒـﻲ ﺍﻝﻴـﻭﻡ ﻭﺃﺘﻭﺴـل، ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ ﺍﻗﺒﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﻨﻲ ،ﻋﻠﻬﺎ ﺘﻠﻴﻕ ﺒﻙ! ﺴﺄﺨﺼﺹ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﺭ ﻓﻘﻁ ﻝﻐـﺴل ﺸﻌﺭﻙ ...ﻝﻙ ،ﻭﺜﻠﻭﺝ ﺍﻝﻘﻁﺏ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺠﻤﺩ ﻤﺴﺘﺤﻀﺭﺍ ﺘﺠﻤﻴﻠﻴ ﹰﺎ ﻝﻭﺠﻨﺘﻴﻙ، ﻭﻓﺎﻜﻬﺔ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻡ ﺩﻫﻭﻨﺎ ﺘﺤﺎﻓﻅﻴﻥ ﺒﻪ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺒﺸﺭﻙ ...ﻝﻭ ﺃﻨـﻲ ﺇﻝﻬـﺎ... ﻷﺤﺒﺒﺘﻙ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ،ﻝﺯﺭﻋﺕ ﺒﺘﺭﺍﺏ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﺤﺒﺎ ﻝﻙ ﻭﺃﻨﺒﺕ ﺤﺒـﺎ ﺒـﻙ، ﻝﺴﻭﻴﺕ ﻜل ﺍﻝﺠﺒﺎل ﺃﻗﺯﺍﻤﺎ ﻭﻅﻴﻔﺘﻬﻡ ﺇﻀﺤﺎﻜﻙ ،ﻭﺍﻝﺴﻬﻭل ﻤﻨﺘﺯﻫـﺎﺕ ﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﺘﻌﺒﺕ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺘﻭﺴﺩﺘﻙ ﺒﺒﺴﺎﻁﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﺴﺘﺭﺤﺘﻲ ...ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﺼﻠﻴﻥ ﺇﻝﻲ ﻤﻨﻤﻘﺔ ﻋﺭﻭﺱ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ" ﺃﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺴﻴﺭ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺠﺒﺎل ﻭﺘﺭﻯ ﻜل ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻓﻌﻠﺘﻬﺎ ﺤﺩﻴﺜﺎ ﻷﺠﻠﻬﺎ ،ﻭﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ،ﺃﻋﻁﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﻴﺩﻱ ﻭﻗﻠﺕ" :ﺃﻨﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺴـﻴﻘﻭﺩﻨﻲ، ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﻠﻙ ﻴﺩﻴﻙ ،ﺨﺫﻴﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﻴﺙ ﺸﺌﺕ ،ﻗﺩ ﺃﺤﻀﺭﺘﻙ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﻴﺙ ﺸﺌﺕ، ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻤﻠﻙ ﺘﺼﺭﻓﻙ ،ﺨﺫﻴﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺒﺤﺭ ﺃﻭ ﺠﺒل ،ﺴﻬل ،ﻭﺍﺩﻱ ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﻀﺒﺔ ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﻴﺙ ﺸﺌﺕ" ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ...ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺠﺒﺎل ،ﻜﺘﺒﺕ ﺍﺴﻤﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻤﻜﺎﻥ ،ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻷﺸـﺠﺎﺭ ﻭﻋﻠﻰ ﺠﺫﻭﻋﻬﺎ ،ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺍﻝﻘـﻼﻉ ﺤﻔﺭﺘﻬـﺎ ،ﻭﻓـﻲ ﺘـﺭﺍﺏ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﺯﺭﻋﺘﻬﺎ ...ﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﺘﻪ ﻗﺒﻠﺘﻨﻲ ﻭﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻜﺎﻓﻭﺭ ﻴﺴﻠﻤﻨﻲ ﻝﻠﻬﻭﺍﺀ ﻭﺃﺤﻠﻕ ﻤﻊ ﻲ ،ﺃﺤﻤﻠﻬﺎ ﻓﻭﻕ ﺃﻜﺘﺎﻓﻲ ﻭﻋﻠـﻰ ﺼـﺩﺭﻱ... ﺍﻝﻁﻴﻭﺭ ...ﺃﻓﺭﺵ ﺠﻨﺎﺤ 63
ﻴﺘﻠﻔﻌﻬﺎ ﺸﻌﺭ ﺼﺩﺭﻱ ﺨﻭﻓﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺴﻘﻭﻁ ...ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻋﺸﻘﻬﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﺠﻨﻭﻥ ،ﻤﻥ ﺫﺍﺏ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻘﻠﺘﻴﻬﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﺩ ﺍﻹﺩﻤﺎﻥ ﻭﺍﻝﺴﻜﻭﻥ ،ﻓﺭﺤﺕ ﻲ ﺃﺠﺩ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻝﺩﺭﺠﺔ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺒﺤﺜﺕ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻤﻌﺎﺠﻡ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻡ ﻭﺍﻝﻤﺼﻁﻠﺤﺎﺕ ﻋﻠ ﻤﺎ ﻴﻌﻡ ﻓﺭﺤﺘﻲ ...ﻻ ﺒﻌﻨﺎﻕ ﻭﻻ ﺠﻤﺎﻉ ،ﺒﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﺭﻭﺡ ﻭﻻ ﺒﺄﻱ ﺸﻲﺀ ﺍﺴﺘﻁﻌﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻗﻭل ﻝﻬﺎ ﺒﻜﻠﻤﺔ ﺘﺭﻀﻴﻨﻲ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ،ﻓﻜﻠﻬـﺎ ﺭﻜﻴﻜـﺔ، ﻀﻌﻴﻔﺔ ...ﻝﻭ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ...ﻝﺨﻠﻘﺕ ﻜﺘﻠﺔ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﻜﺜﻴـﺭ ﺒـﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ، ﻲ ،ﻝﻭﻀﻌﺘﻬﺎ ﺘﺤﺕ ﻻﺒﺘﺩﻋﺕ ﺃﻓﻜﺎﺭﺍ ﺃﻨﻜﺭﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ،ﺃﻫﻠﻲ ﻭﺼﺤﺒﻲ ﻋﻠ ﻗﺩﻤﻴﻙ ،ﺒﻴﻥ ﻴﺩﻴﻙ ﻭﻋﻠﻰ ﻀﻔﺘﻲ ﺸﻔﺘﻴﻙ ...ﻝﺘﻌﻠﻤﻲ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻤﺴﺘﻌﺩ ﻝﻠﻐﺭﻕ ﻜﻲ ﺃﺤﻴﺎ ﺒﻤﻘﻠﺘﻴﻙ ...ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ...ﻝﻌﺠﻨﺕ ﻤﻨـﻲ ﻭﻝﻌـﺎ ﻫـﻭ ﺍﻝﺤـﺏ... ﻭﻀﻤﻤﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺘﺠﺎﻨﺴﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﻝﺩﺘﻨﻲ ﻭﻭﻝﺩﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻋﻠﻬﺎ ﺘـﺼﺭ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﻘـﺎﺀ ﺒﻤﺭﻗﺩﻱ.
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﺴﺭﻨﺎ ﻁﻭﻴﻼ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻗﻤﺔ ﺠﺒل ﻴﻁل ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ،ﻫﻨـﺎﻙ ﺠﻠﺴﻨﺎ ﻗﻠﻴﻼ ،ﻨﻨﻅﺭ ﻝﻸﺴﻔل ،ﻨﺭﻯ ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻜـﺎﻥ ﺤﻴـﺙ ﺃﺸﻴﺎﺀﻨﺎ ﻭﺤﺎﻓﺔ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﻭﺍﻝﺠﺴﺭ ﺍﻝﺼﻐﻴﺭ ﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﺒﻴﺘﻨﺎ ،ﺍﺨﺘﺎﺭﺕ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﻭﻑ، ﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﺠﺎﻝﺴﺎ ﺃﺘﻤﺘﻊ ﺒﺎﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﻬﻭﺍﺀ ﻴـﺩﺍﻋﺏ ﺸـﻌﺭﻫﺎ ﺍﻷﺤﻤـﺭ ﺍﻝﺠﻤﻴل ،ﻭﺜﻭﺒﻬﺎ ﺍﻷﺒﻴﺽ ،ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻬﺎ: "ﺃﺘﻌﻠﻤﻴﻥ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ؟ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻏﺎﺭ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﻤﻥ ﻝﻤﺴﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻬﻭﺍﺀ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺩﺍﻋﺏ ﺨﺩﻙ ﻭﺸﻌﺭﻙ ﻭﺘﺩﺨل ﻓﻲ ﺜﻨﺎﻴﺎ ﺜﻭﺒﻙ؟ ﻝﻭ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻷﻤﺭ ﺒﻴـﺩﻱ ﻝﻐﻴـﺭﺕ ﺍﻝﻬﻭﺍﺀ ﺃﻨﺜﻭﻴﺎ ،ﺃﺸﻌﺔ ﺍﻝﺸﻤﺱ ،ﻅﻼﻡ ﺍﻝﻠﻴل ،ﻝﺼﻴﺭﺕ ﺃﻭﺭﺍﻕ ﺍﻝـﺸﺠﺭ ﺃﻨﺜﻭﻴﺔ ،ﺤﺘﻰ ﺠﺩﺭﺍﻥ ﺒﻴﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﻭﺴﺎﺩﺘﻙ" ﻜﺎﻥ ﺤﻠﻤﺎ ،ﻭﺍﻗﻌﺎ ،ﻗﺭﻴﺏ ﺩﺒﻴﺒﻪ ...ﻓﻲ ﺃﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﺭﺘﻔﺎﻉ ﻝﻠﺠﺒل ،ﻨـﺭﻯ ﺍﻝﺴﻬﻭل ﺍﻝﺨﻀﺭﺍﺀ ﻭﺍﻝﺴﻔﻭﺡ ،ﺤﺘﻰ ﺼـﺨﻭﺭﻫﺎ ﺫﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﻠـﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﺒﻨـﻲ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﻤﻕ ﺒﺄﺸﻜﺎﻝﻪ ...ﻭﺍﻝﻁﻴﻭﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﺘﺭﻗﺹ ﻤﻊ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﺤﻭﻝﻨﺎ. "ﺘﻌﺎﻝﻲ ...ﻜﻭﻨﻲ ﻗﺭﻴﺒﺔ ﻤﻨﻲ ﻷﺤﻀﻨﻙ ،ﺇﻨﻲ ﻤﺭﻫﻕ ،ﺃﻝﻡ ﺘﻌﺩﻴﻨﻨﻲ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺴﺘﻘﺒﻠﻴﻨﻨﻲ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺘﻌﺏ؟"
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ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﺕ ﻤﻨﻲ ،ﺃﻤﺴﻜﺕ ﺒﻭﺠﻬﻲ ﻭﻗﺒﻠﺘﻨﻲ ﺒﻜل ﺸﻔﺎﻓﻴﺔ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﻨﺸﻭﺓ... ﻨﺴﻴﻨﺎ ﺃﻨﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺴﻔﻭﺡ ﺍﻝﺠﺒﺎل ،ﻴﺴﺭﻗﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺤﻅ ﻭﻴﺘﺭﺒﻊ ﻤﻌﻨﺎ ...ﺘﻭﺴـﺩﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻬﺩﻱ ،ﻋﻤﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﺤﺭﺍ ﻭﺤﻠﻘﻨﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺯﺍل ﺍﻝﻤﺯﺍﺡ ﻭﺤل ﻤﺤﻠﻪ ﻝﺫﺓ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻝﻪ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﻜﺎﻥ ...ﺘﺒﻘﻰ ﺸﻌﻭﺭ ﻴﻨﺎﺩﻱ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺍﻝﺸﻐﻑ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻋﻤﺎﻗﻨﺎ ،ﻴﺨﺎﻁﺒﻪ، ﻴﻨﺎﺠﻴﻪ ،ﻴﺼﺭﺥ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ،ﻴﺭﻗﺩ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻀﻠﻌﻴﻪ ﻴﻐﺘﺎل ﺭﻤﺯ ﺍﻝﺤﻴـﺎﺓ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺫﺭﺍﻋﻴﻪ. "ﻋﺎﻨﻘﻴﻨﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻭﺍﻝﺘﻬﻤﻲ ﻤﻨﻲ ...ﺼﺒﻴﻪ ﺸﻼﻻ ﺒﻴﻥ ﻴﺩﻱ ﻨـﺸﻭﺓ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺓ ...ﺍﺤﻀﻨﻴﻨﻲ ﻭﺍﺭﺴﻤﻲ ﻴﻭﻤﻨﺎ ﻋﺎﻝﻤﺎ ﻻ ﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ﻝـﻪ ﻭﻻ ﺤـﺩﻭﺩ، ﺍﺴﻘﻴﻨﻲ ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻤﻌﻙ ﺠـﺭﺓ ﻤﻜـﺴﻭﺭﺓ ...ﻻ ﺃﺭﻭﻯ ،ﺨﻠـﻲ ﻤﻼﺒـﺴﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺼﻨﻭﻋﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻜﺘﺎﻥ ﺤﺒﺎ ﻷﻗﺴﻡ ﻝﻙ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺨﻠﻌﻬﺎ ﻋﻨﻲ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻤﻭﺕ ،ﻜﻭﻨﻲ ﺤﺒﻙ ﺸﻌﺭﺍ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻗﺴﻡ ﻝﻙ ﺒﺄﻤﻲ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺫﻫـﺏ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﻼﻕ ﺃﺒﺩﺍ ...ﻤﻥ ﺃﻅﺎﻓﺭﻱ ﺤﺒﺎ ﻷﻗﺴﻡ ﻝﻙ ﺒﺎﺒﻨﺘﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺄﺘﻲ ﺒﻌـﺩ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝﻥ ﺃﻗﺹ ﺃﻅﺎﻓﺭﻱ ،ﻭﻤﻥ ﺤﺠﺭﺓ ﻨﻭﻤﻨﺎ ﺤﺒﺎ ﻭﺃﻗﺴﻡ ﻝﻙ ﺒﺤﺒﻨﺎ ﺃﻨـﻲ ﻻ ﻭﻝﻥ ﺃﻏﺎﺩﺭ ﺤﺠﺭﺓ ﻨﻭﻤﻨﺎ ﺇﻻ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ" ﺍﺴﺘﻠﻘﻴﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ،ﻭﻫﻲ ﺘﻘﻑ ﺒﻌﻴﺩﺓ ﻋﻨﻲ ﺒﺨﻁﻭﺘﻴﻥ ﺃﻭ ﺜﻼﺙ ﺘﻨﻅﺭ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺍﻝﻤﺠﻬﻭل ،ﺃﺭﻯ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﻤﻥ ﺠﻨﺒﻬـﺎ ﺍﻷﻴﻤـﻥ ﻭﻅﻬﺭﻫﺎ ،ﺃﺭﺍﻗﺏ ﺘﻤﻌﻨﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻔﻀﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺴﻊ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻨﺎ ،ﻜﻨﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻋﻠـﻰ ﺤﺎﻓﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﺒل ﻭﻫﻲ ﺘﻘﻑ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻭﺘﺤﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻬﺎﻭﻴﺔ. 67
"ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻻ ﺘﺫﻫﺒﻲ ﺒﺨﻴﺎﻝﻙ ﺒﻌﻴﺩﺍ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺕ ﺘﻘﻔﻴﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻑ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺘﻔﻊ" "ﻻ ﺘﻤﻨﻌﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﻌﻴﺩ ...ﺇﻨﻪ ﺍﻝﻘﺭﻴﺏ" ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. "ﺘﻌﺎﻝﻲ ...ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﻲ ﻤﻨﻲ ،ﻴﻜﻔﻴﻙ ،ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﻲ ﻤﻨﻲ ﺜﺎﻨﻴﺔ ﻓـﺈﻥ ﻋﻘﻠـﻲ ﻴﺄﺨﺫﻨﻲ ﻭﻜﺄﻨﻙ ﺴﺘﺴﻘﻁﻴﻥ ،ﺃﺨﺎﻑ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻤﻥ ﻨﻔـﺴﻲ ،ﻻ ﺤﻴـﺎﺓ ﺩﻭﻨﻙ ،ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﻲ ﻤﻨﻲ ﻭﺍﺒﻘﻲ ﺠﺎﻝﺴﺔ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻻ ﺘﻐﺘﺼﺒﻨﻲ ﺃﻓﻜﺎﺭﻱ ﺒﺄﻨـﻙ ﺴﺘﺴﻘﻁﻴﻥ" "ﻻ ﺘﺨﻑ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻝﻘﻁﺔ ﻻ ﺘﺴﻘﻁ ﺒﺴﻬﻭﻝﺔ" "ﺘﻌﺎﻝﻲ ﺇﻝﻲ ﺇﺫﺍ ﻴﺎ ﻗﻁﺘﻲ ﺩﺍﻋﺒﻴﻨﻲ ﻭﺃﺩﺍﻋﺒﻙ ،ﺍﻗﻔﺯﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﺠﻬـﻲ ﻷﺤﺱ ﺒﻤﺨﺎﻝﺒﻙ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻝﻥ ﺘﺅﺫﻴﻨﻲ ...ﻭﺒﻨﻌﻭﻤﺘﻙ ،ﺘﻌﺎﻝﻲ ﺇﻝﻲ ﻭﻜـﻭﻨﻲ ﺠﺯﺀ ﻤﻨﻲ ،ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﻲ ...ﻗﺎﺴﻤﻴﻨﻲ ﺫﺍﺘﻲ ﻭﺸﺨﺼﻲ" "ﻜﻥ ﺠﺎﻫﺯﺍ ﻭﻻ ﺘﻔﺯﻉ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﻗﻔﺯ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ،ﺍﺴﺘﻌﺩ ﻜﻲ ﻻ ﺃﺅﺫﻴـﻙ، ﻜﻥ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻻ ﺘﺅﺫﻴﻨﻲ ،ﻨﺎﻋﻤﺎ ﻤﺜﻠﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻷﺤﺱ ﻓﻴﻙ ،ﻝﻭ ﺴﺄﻝﺘﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺨﺫﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﻤﻌﻙ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻴﻪ ﻤﻊ ﺇﻨﺴﺎﻥ ،ﺃﺘﺄﺨـﺫﻨﻲ؟ ﻝﻘﺩ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺘﻙ ﻷﻨﻙ ﻝﺴﺕ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻝﺭﺠﺎل ،ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺘﻙ ﻤﺜل ﺤﺒﻲ ﻷﻤﻲ ﻋﻨـﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﻤﺴﺔ ﻤﻥ ﻋﻤﺭﻱ ،ﻤﺜل ﺤﺒﻲ ﻷﺒﻲ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺜﺎﻨﻴﺔ ﻋﺸﺭ، ﻭﺒﻌﺩﻫﺎ ...ﺭﺃﻴﺘﻙ ...ﻭﺃﺤﺒﺒﺘﻙ ﺤﺒﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻪ ﻤـﻥ ﻗﺒـل ،ﺃﻏﻨـﺎﻨﻲ، ﺃﻀﻌﻔﻨﻲ ،ﺃﺘﻤ ﹼﻨﻲ ﻭﺘﻭﺠﻨﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻨﺴﺎﺀ ،ﺒﻜل ﻤﻌﺎﻨﻘـﺔ ﻭﻗﺒﻠـﺔ ،ﺍﻨـﺕ 68
ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ ...ﺘﻀﻤﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﺒﺭﺃﻓﺔ ﻋﺭﻓﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻤﻲ ...ﺃﺨﻁﻭ ﻤـﺴﺭﻋﺔ، ﺘﻠﺤﻕ ﺒﻲ ،ﺘﺸﺩﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﺨﺎﺌﻔﺎ ﻜﺄﻨﻙ ﺃﺒﻲ ،ﻝﻘﺩ ﺨﻁﻔﺘﻨﻲ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺭﺤﻠـﺔ ﺃﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺒﺄﻨﻙ ﻜل ﺃﻫﻠﻲ ﻭﺸﺭﻴﻜﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ﻭﺤﺎﺭﺴﻲ ﺍﻝﺸﺨﺼﻲ... ﺃﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻬﺎ ﺇﻻ ﻤﻌﻙ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺤﺩﺜﻨﻲ ﻋﻥ ﺃﻨﻭﺜﺘﻲ ،ﻋﻠﻤﻨﻲ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻝﻁﻼﺏ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺍﺤل ﻓﻬﻡ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺩﺭﺴﻨﻲ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﺼـﺭﺕ ﻼ، ﻤﻠﻜﺔ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺤﺩ ﺃﻓﻀل ﻤﻨﻲ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺠﻤل ،ﻨﻤﻰ ﻓـﻲ ﺸﺨـﺼﻲ ﻫـﻴﻜ ﹰ ﻤﺴﺭﺤ ﹰﺎ ...ﻭﻭﺠﻪ ﺍﻝﻘﻤﺭ ،ﻗﺭﺃﺕ ﺠﻤﺎﻝﻬﻡ ﺒﺄﻋﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ...ﻗﻠـﺕ ﻝـﻲ: ﺴﻴﺭﻱ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻨﺎﻜﺏ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﺠﻤﻴﻌﻬﺎ ﻭﻻ ﺘﺭﻱ ﺃﺤﺩﺍ ﺴﻭﺍ ﺫﺍﺘﻙ ،ﺩﺨﻠﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺫﺍﺘﻲ ﻭﺼﺭﺕ ﺍﻝﺒﺴﻴﻁﺔ ﻝﺩﺭﺠﺔ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﺠﻴﺭﺍﻥ ﻭﺭﺌﻴﺱ ﻋﻤﻠﻲ ﻗـﺎﻝﻭﺍ ﻤﻐﺭﻭﺭﺓ!" "ﻨﻌﻡ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺇﻨﻙ ﺒﺴﻴﻁﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺘﻌﺎﻤﻠﻙ ﻤـﻊ ﻤـﻥ ﺘﺤﺒـﻴﻥ ،ﻭﻤـﻊ ﺍﻵﺨﺭﻴﻥ ،ﻨﻌﻡ ﻓﻘﺩ ﻋﺭﻓﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻨﺕ ،ﻭﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﻜﻭﻨﻴﻥ ،ﺍﻤـﺭﺃﺓ ﺘﺤﻤـل ﺤﺼﺎﻨﺔ ﺩﺒﻠﻭﻤﺎﺴﻴﺔ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﻨﻔﺴﻙ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻤﺭ ﺒﺈﺼﺩﺍﺭﻫﺎ. ﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﻙ؟ ﻝﻘﺩ ﺴﻤﻌﺕ ﺃﻥ ﻋﺠﻭﺯﺍ ﻏﺠﺭﻴﺔ ﺘﺴﻜﻥ ﻗﺭﻴﺒﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻬـﺭ ﺒﺠﺎﻨﺏ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻗﻴﺔ" "ﻨﻌﻡ ...ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺘﺴﻜﻥ ﺍﻝﻐﺠﺭﻴﺔ ...ﻭﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ؟"
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"ﻓﻲ ﻝﻴﻠﺔ ﺍﻷﻤﺱ ﺴﻤﻌﺕ ﺨﻔﺎﺸﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﻘﺭﺒﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻴﺘﻨﺎ ﺨـﺭﺝ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﺍﻝﺼﻐﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﻤﻜﺜﻪ ﺍﻝﺭﺠل ﺍﻝﻤﺴﻥ ،ﻴـﺸﻜﻲ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﻌﺠـﻭﺯ ﺍﻝﻐﺠﺭﻴﺔ ﻷﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﺃﻨﺒﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ﻗﺒﻠﻪ ﻭﺍﻝﻁﺎﻝﻊ ،ﻝﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﻝﺯﻴﺎﺭﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺇﻥ ﺍﺴﺘﻘﺒﻠﺘﻨﺎ! ﻋﻠﻬﺎ ﺘﻘﺭﺃ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻁﺎﻝﻊ" "ﺩﻋﻨﺎ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻨﻌﺭﻑ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻐﺩ ﺸﻲﺀ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺨﺎﺌﻔﺔ ﻝﺩﺭﺠﺔ ﺃﻨـﻲ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﻠﻡ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻋﻥ ﻏﺩﻱ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ" "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻴﻘﺎل ﺃﻥ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺠﻨﻴﺎﺕ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺓ ﺘﺄﺘﻲ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺒﺄﺨﺒﺎﺭ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ" "ﺍﺼﺤﺒﻴﻨﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻋﻠﻬﺎ ﺘﻘﻭل ﻝﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻴﺤﺒﻨﺎ ﻭﻤﻥ ﻴﻜﺭﻫﻨﺎ ،ﺃﺘﺨﺎﻓﻴﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻘﻭل ﻝﻲ ﺃﻨﻙ ﻻ ﺘﺤﺒﻴﻨﻨﻲ؟ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺼﺩﻗﻬﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻝﻭ ﺃﻥ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺠﻨﻴﺎﺕ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻭﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ" ﺃﻤﺴﻜﺕ ﻴﺩﻫﺎ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻨﺘﻅﺭ ﺠﻭﺍﺒﻬﺎ "ﻫﻴﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﻓﻠﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ" ﻤﺸﺕ ﻤﻌﻲ ﻭﻴﺒﺩﻭ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﻋﺩﻡ ﺍﻝﺭﻀﻰ ﻭﺍﻝﺨﻭﻑ ،ﻤـﻥ ﻤـﺎﺫﺍ؟ ﻻ ﺃﻋﻠﻡ! "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﺨﻴﻔﻙ؟"
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"ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ،ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺼﻭﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﻴﻘﻭل ﻝﻲ :ﻻ ...ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺎﺭﺘﻴﺎﺡ ﻭﺍﻁﻤﺌﻨﺎﻥ" "ﻫﻴﺎ ...ﻫﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻻ ﺘﻜﻭﻨﻲ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻷﻁﻔﺎل ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺃﻱ ﺩﺍﻋـﻲ ﻝﻬﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻘﻠﻕ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﺸﻌﺭﻴﻥ ﺒﻪ" ﺼﺭﻨﺎ ﻨﺨﻁﻭ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺒﺨﻁﺎﻱ ﻤﺘﺸﻭﻗﺎ ﻭﻻ ﺃﻋﻁﻲ ﻝﻠﻤﻭﻀﻭﻉ ﺃﻱ ﺠﺩﻴﺔ ﺃﻭ ﺃﻫﻤﻴﺔ ،ﻭﻫﻲ ﺒﺨﻁﻭﺍﺕ ﺒﻁﻴﺌﺔ ﻤﺘﺭﺩﺩﺓ ﻤﺠﺒﺭﺓ ،ﻷﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﺴﻴﺭ ﻤﻌـﻲ ﻓﻘﻁ ﻷﺠﻠﻲ ﻭﻹﺭﻀﺎﺌﻲ. "ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻗﻴﺔ ﻤﺴﺎﻓﺔ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻗﺼﻴﺭﺓ ،ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻏـﺏ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﺫﻫﺎﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻭﺃﻤﺸﻲ ﻜل ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﻓﺔ" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﺤﻤﻠﻙ ﺇﻥ ﺘﻌﺒﺕ ،ﻫﻴﺎ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺘﺫﻤﺭﺓ ،ﻜﻔﺎﻙ ﺸﻜﻭﻯ ﻤﺜـل ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﺒﻌﻴﻥ ،ﻫﻴﺎ ﻴﺎ ﻏﺎﻝﻴﺔ ﻝﻨﺠﻤل ﻴﻭﻤﻨﺎ ﻫﺫﺍ ،ﻓﻬﻲ ﺴﺘﺤﻜﻲ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﺒﺎﻝﺘﺄﻜﻴﺩ" ﺍﺘﺠﻬﻨﺎ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻗﻴﺔ ﻨﺭﻗﺹ ﻓﺭﺤﺎ ﻤﻊ ﻓﺭﺍﺸﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﺤﻘل ﻭﻋـﺼﺎﻓﻴﺭ ﺘﺩﻭﺭ ﻤﺤﻠﻘﺔ ﺤﻭﻝﻨﺎ ﺘﺸﺎﺭﻜﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺒﻬﺠﺔ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻏﺼﺎﻥ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ،ﺘﺩﺍﻋﺒﻬﺎ ﻨﺴﺎﺌﻡ ﺍﻝﻬﻭﺍﺀ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﻋﻡ ﻜﺭﺍﻤﺔ ﻝﻨﺎ. "ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﻻ ﺘﺴﺭﻉ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﻌﺩﻭ ﻤﺜل ﺤﺼﺎﻥ ﻫﺎﺭﺏ" 71
"ﺼﺤﻴﺢ ...ﺃﻨﺕ ﻤﺤﻘﺔ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻨﻔـﺴﻲ ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨـﺎ، ﺴﺄﺴﻴﺭ ﺒﺒﻁﺀ" ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﺒﻌﻴﺩﺓ ﺃﻭ ﺒﺎﻷﺤﺭﻯ ﻝﻡ ﻨﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺎﻝﻤﺴﺎﻓﺔ ...ﺍﺒﺘﻌـﺩﻨﺎ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﻭﺃﺸﻴﺎﺀﻨﺎ ،ﺒﺩﺍ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻜﻭﺥ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻌﻴﺩ ﻓﻲ ﺴﻔﺢ ﺍﻝﺠﺒل، ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﻨﺎ ﻤﻨﻪ ،ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺒﺎﺤﺔ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ﻴﺘﻭﺴﻁﻬﺎ ﺒﻴﺕ ﺍﻝﻌﺠـﻭﺯ ،ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺔ ﺍﻷﻤﺎﻤﻴﺔ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺴﻴﺎﺝ ﺨﺸﺒﻲ ﻴﺤﺘﻀﻥ ﺃﺭﺒﻌﺔ ﻨﻌﺎﺝ ،ﻭﻓﻲ ﺯﺍﻭﻴـﺔ ﺍﻝﺴﻴﺎﺝ ﻤﻥ ﺠﻬﺔ ﺍﻝﻜﻭﺥ ﻗﻥ ﺼﻐﻴﺭ ﻭﺤﻭﻝﻪ ﺒﻀﻊ ﺩﺠﺎﺠﺎﺕ. ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﻝﻤﻘﺭﺒﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺏ ،ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﺴﺎﻜﻥ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﺩﺠﺎﺝ ﻝﻡ ﻨﺴﻤﻊ ﻝﻪ ﺼﻭﺕ. "ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﻗﺩ ﻻ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﺤﺩ ﻫﻨﺎ! ﻓﺎﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﺒﺩﻭ ﺨﺎﻝﻴﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺴﻜﺎﻥ" "ﺃﺘﺭﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻌﺎﺝ ﻭﺍﻝﺩﺠﺎﺝ؟ ﻓﻠﻨﺭﻯ ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺔ ﺍﻝﺨﻠﻔﻴﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺒﻴـﺕ ﻋﻠﻬـﺎ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ" ﺼﺭﻨﺎ ﻨﻨﻅﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﻋﻠﻬﺎ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺇﺤﺩﻯ ﺍﻝﺯﻭﺍﻴﺎ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﺭﺠﻴـﺔ ﻝﻠﺒﻴﺕ ،ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﻝﻠﺒﺎﺤﺔ ﺍﻝﺨﻠﻔﻴﺔ ،ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻤﻠﻴﺌﺔ ﺒﺎﻝﻨﻔﺎﻴﺎﺕ ...ﺴـﻼﺤﻑ ﻭﺤﻴﻭﺍﻨﺎﺕ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﺒﺠﻤﻴﻊ ﺃﺴﻤﺎﺌﻬﺎ ﻭﺃﺸـﻜﺎﻝﻬﺎ ﻭﺤـﺸﺭﺍﺕ ﻏﺭﻴﺒـﺔ ﺒﺼﻭﺭﺓ ﺘﺜﻴﺭ ﺍﻻﺸﻤﺌﺯﺍﺯ ،ﺸﻲﺀ ﺭﺃﺘﻪ ﺃﻋﻴﻨﻨﺎ ﻭﺃﺨﺭ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺭﻯ. 72
"ﺃﺘﺭﻯ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ؟ ﺩﻋﻨﺎ ﻨﻌﻭﺩ ،ﺃﻻ ﻴﺜﻴﺭ ﺍﺸﻤﺌﺯﺍﺯﻙ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﻅﺭ؟ ﻫﻴﺎ ﻓﻠﻨﺫﻫﺏ" "ﺒﻠﻰ ،ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﺯﺍﺩ ﻫﺫﺍ ﻋﻨﺩﻱ ﺤﺏ ﺍﻻﺴﺘﻁﻼﻉ" ﻭﺍﻝﻐﺭﻴﺏ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻭﻻ ﻨﺎﻓﺫﺓ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻨﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﻝﻠﺩﺍﺨل ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼﻝﻬﺎ ،ﻋﺩﻨﺎ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺔ ﺍﻷﻤﺎﻤﻴﺔ. "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺴﺄﻗﺭﻉ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺏ" ﺸﺩﺘﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺨﻠﻑ. "ﻻ ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ ﻝﺴﻨﺎ ﺒﺤﺎﺠﺔ ﻝﻠﺩﺨﻭل ،ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺎ ﻨﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻨﻠﻬﻭ ﻓﻘﻁ ،ﺃﻤﺎ ﻜل ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻻ ﺘﻭﺤﻲ ﺒﺄﻱ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻨﻭﺍﻉ ﺍﻝﻠﻬﻭ" "ﺘﻌﺎﻝﻲ ...ﺘﻌﺎﻝﻲ" ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﺒﻘﺭﻉ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺏ ،ﻭﻋﺎﻭﺩﺕ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻕ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺤﺩ ﻴﺠﻴﺏ ،ﺒﻘﻴﻨﺎ ﺩﻗﺎﺌﻕ، ﺤﺎﻭﻝﺕ ﻓﺘﺢ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﻤﻐﻠﻕ ،ﻝﻡ ﻴﺘﺴﻨﻰ ﻝﻲ ،ﻗﻠﺕ ﺒﻌﺩﻡ ﺭﻀﻰ ﻷﻨﻲ ﻝـﻡ ﺃﺠﺩﻫﺎ "ﺨﺴﺎﺭﺓ". "ﺍﻝﺤﻤﺩ ﷲ ،ﻫﻴﺎ ﻓﻠﻨﻌﻭﺩ ،ﻭﻜﺄﻥ ﺍﷲ ﻋﻠﻡ ﺒﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻭﺤﻘﻕ ﻝﻲ ﻤﺎ ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ" ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺘﻤﺕ ﻜﻠﻤﺔ ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ،ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﻤﻥ ﻴﻨﺎﺩﻱ ﺨﻠﻔﻨﺎ: "ﺃﻨﺘﻤﺎ ...ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﺭﻴﺩﺍﻥ؟" 73
ﻓﺯﻋﻨﺎ ﻝﻠﻭﻫﻠﺔ ﺍﻷﻭﻝﻰ ﺒﺎﻝﺼﻭﺕ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻤﺘﻭﻗـﻊ ،ﺍﺴـﺘﺩﺭﻨﺎ ﻝﻠﺨﻠﻑ ،ﻭﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ﺘﻌﺎﻨﻘﻨﻲ ﻝﻴﺱ ﺍﺸﺘﻴﺎﻗﺎ ﻭﺇﻨﻤـﺎ ﺨﻭﻓـﺎ ﻭﻓﺯﻋـﺎ، ﻭﻀﻌﺕ ﻴﺩﻱ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ ﺒﺄﻤﻥ ﻤﻥ ﻝﻤﺴﺎﺘﻲ. ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺴﺅﺍل ﺍﻝﻌﺠﻭﺯ ﻭﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﺃﺘﻜﻠﻡ ﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﺃﻫﻭ ﺃﻨﺕ؟" ﻭﻗﺒـل ﺃﻥ ﺃﺴﺄﻝﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺠﺎﺒﺘﻨﻲ" :ﻨﻌﻡ ﻫﻭ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺒﺎﻨﺘﻅﺎﺭﻙ ﻤﻊ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺤﺴﻨﺎﺀ ،ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﺎ ﻤﻨﻲ ،ﺩﻋﻭﻨﻲ ﺃﺘﻤﻌﻨﻜﻤﺎ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ،ﺃﺭﻯ ﺍﻝﺨـﻭﻑ ﺍﻝـﺫﻱ ﻴﻘﻁﻥ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻜﻤﺎ" ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺘﻤﺴﻙ ﺒﻲ ﺘﺸﺩﻨﻲ ﺘﺤﺎﻭل ﻤﻨﻌﻲ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝـﺫﻫﺎﺏ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻻﻗﺘﺭﺍﺏ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ. "ﺇﻨﻲ ﺨﺎﺌﻔﺔ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ" "ﻻ ﺘﺨﺎﻓﻲ ﻓﻠﻴﺱ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺃﻱ ﺩﺍﻉ ﻝﻠﺨﻭﻑ" ﻲ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻗﻠﺘﻬﺎ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺓ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻜﻤﺜل ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺴﺒﻘﺕ ،ﺒﺩﻯ ﻋﻠ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺠﺩﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﻐﻴﺭ ﻤﻌﺘﺎﺩﺓ .ﻤﻅﻬﺭﻫﺎ ﻴﺜﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﺭﻴﺒﺔ ،ﺜﻭﺒﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻁﻭﻴل ﺍﻷﺴﻭﺩ ﺍﻝﻤﻼﻤﺱ ﻝﺘﺭﺍﺏ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ،ﻗﻤﻴﺼﻬﺎ ﺍﻷﺴﻭﺩ ﺍﻝﻔﻀﻔﺎﺽ ﻭﺴﺘﺭﺓ ﺼﻭﻓﻴﺔ ﺴﻭﺩﺍﺀ ﻁﻭﻴﻠﺔ ﺍﻷﻜﻤﺎﻡ ﻤﻔﺘﻭﺤﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻷﻤﺎﻡ ،ﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ ﺍﻷﺒﻴﺽ ﺍﻝﻁﻭﻴل، ﻗﻁﻊ ﺍﻷﻗﻤﺸﺔ ﺍﻝﺸﺭﻴﻁﻴﺔ ﺒﺄﻝﻭﺍﻥ ﻋﺩﻴﺩﺓ ﻤﺭﺒﻭﻁﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ ﺒﺎﻷﺤﻤﺭ ﻭﺍﻷﺨﻀﺭ ﻭﺍﻷﺼﻔﺭ ﻭﺒﻜل ﺍﻷﻝﻭﺍﻥ ﺍﻝﻔﺎﻗﻌﺔ. 74
"ﻫﻴﺎ ...ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﺎ ﻤﻨﻲ ﺃﻴﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺠﻤﻴﻼﻥ ،ﻤﻥ ﺤﺎﻓﺔ ﺍﻝﺠﺒل ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﻨﺎ ﻤﺴﺎﻓﺔ ﺘﺴﺘﺤﻘﺎﻥ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻗﺴﻁﺎ ﻭﻝﻭ ﺒﺴﻴﻁﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﺍﺤﺔ ،ﺩﻋﻭﻨﻲ ﺃﺘﺄﻤﻠﻜﻤﺎ ﺃﻭﻻ... ﻫﻴﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺃﺤﺒﺎﺌﻲ ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﺎ" ﺴﺭﻨﺎ ﻨﺤﻭﻫﺎ ﺒﺨﻁﻰ ﺒﻁﻴﺌﺔ ﻤﺘﺭﺩﺩﺓ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻭﻗﻔﻨﺎ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻬﺎ ﻤﺜل ﺃﻁﻔﺎل ﻴﻘﻔﻭﻥ ﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﺠﺩﺘﻬﻡ ﻴﻨﺘﻅﺭﻭﻥ ﻋﻘﺎﺒﻬﺎ ﺩﻭﻥ ﻤﻌﺭﻓﺘﻬﻡ ﺍﻝﺴﺒﺏ. "ﻫﺎ ﻗﺩ ﻗﺭﺒﻨﺎ" ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻬﺎ. "ﻤﺭﺤﺒﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺼﻐﺎﺭﻱ ،ﺇﻨﻲ ﺃﺭﻯ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻜﻤﺎ ﺘﺴﺎﺅﻻﺕ ﻻ ﺇﺠﺎﺒﺔ ﻝﻬﺎ ﻋﻨﺩﻱ" ﺭﺃﺕ ﺘﺭﺩﺩﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺫﻫﺎﺏ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺨﻭﻓﺎ ﺸﻌﺭﻨﺎ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻭﻝـﻡ ﻨـﺒﺢ ﺒـﻪ ﻷﻨﻔﺴﻨﺎ. "ﻭﺍﻵﻥ ﻴﺎ ﺼﻐﺎﺭﻱ ﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﻜﻤﺎ؟ ﺃﻨﺩﺨل ﺇﻝﻰ ﺒﻴﺘﻲ ﻭﻨﺤﺘﺴﻲ ﻤﺸﺭﻭﺒﺎ ﺒﺎﺭﺩﺍ ﺃﻭ ﺴﺎﺨﻨﺎ ،ﻜﻤﺎ ﺘﺤﺒﻭﻥ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺸﺭﺏ ﺇﻻ ﺍﻝﺴﻭﺱ ،ﻫﻭ ﺼﺤﻲ ﻝﻠﻐﺎﻴﺔ ﻭﻴﺒﻘﻴﻨﻲ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﻗﻭﻴﺔ ،ﺇﻥ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺘﻡ ﺼﻨﻌﺕ ﻝﻜﻤﺎ ﺒﻌﺽ ﻤﻨﻪ" "ﻻ ...ﻻ ﺸﻜﺭﺍ ﻴﺎ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ" ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. "ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻫﻴﺎ ﻝﻨﺩﺨل ﺍﻵﻥ ﻓﻨﺤﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺠل ﻫﺫﺍ ﺤﻀﺭﻨﺎ" ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. 75
"ﻨﻌﻡ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ،ﺇﺫﺍ ﺴﻤﺤﺘﻲ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺒﺎﻝﺩﺨﻭل ،ﺃﻤﺎ ﺒﺎﻝﻨﺴﺒﺔ ﻝﺸﺭﺍﺏ ﺍﻝﺴﻭﺱ ﻓﻨﺤﻥ ﻝﺴﻨﺎ ﻤﻌﺘﺎﺩﻴﻥ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ" ﻗﺎل ﺠﻨﺎﺡ. "ﺇﺫﻥ ﻓﻠﻨﺩﺨل ﺃﻭﻻ ﻭﻤﻥ ﺜﻡ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺇﻥ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺴﺄﻗﺭﺃ ﻝﻜﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﻁﺎﻝﻊ" ﺩﺨﻠﻨﺎ ﺒﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﻨﺤﻥ ﻨﺘﺴﺎﺀل ﻜﻴﻑ ﻋﺭﻓﺕ ﺒﺄﻨﻨﺎ ﻨﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻘـﺭﺃ ﻝﻨـﺎ ﺍﻝﻁﺎﻝﻊ! ﺸﻲ ﻏﺭﻴﺏ ﻴﺜﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﻘﻠﻕ ،ﻤﻥ ﺃﻴﻥ ﻋﺭﻓﺕ ﺃﻨﻨﺎ ﻗﺩ ﺃﺘﻴﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻝﻬﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺴﺒﺏ؟ "ﻤﻥ ﻗﺎل ﻝﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ﺃﻨﻨﺎ ﺃﺘﻴﻨﺎ ﻝﻙ ﻜﻲ ﺘﻘﺭﺌﻲ ﻁﺎﻝﻌﻨﺎ؟" "ﺃﺩﺨﻼ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻓﺎﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﻁﻭﻴل ﻭﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﻜﺜﻴﺭ" ﺘﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﻤﻌﻨـﺎ ﻜﺄﻨﻬـﺎ ﺘﻌﺭﻓﻨﺎ ﻤﻨﺫ ﺯﻤﻥ. "ﺃﺨﺒﺭﺍﻨﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺃﺤﺒﺎﺌﻲ ﻜﻴﻑ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺭﺤﻠﺘﻜﻤﺎ؟" ﻨﻅﺭﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻭﺠﻭﻩ ﺒﻌﻀﺎ ،ﺍﻝﻤﻭﻗﻑ ﻋﺒﺭ ﻋﻥ ﺘﺴﺎﺅﻻﺘﻨﺎ. "ﺍﻝﺭﺤﻠﺔ ﺠﻤﻴﻠﺔ ،ﻝﻡ ﻨﻭﺍﺠﻪ ﺃﻱ ﻋﺎﺌﻕ ﻓﻲ ﻁﺭﻴﻘﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ،ﺍﻝﻁﻘﺱ ﺭﺍﺌﻊ ﻭﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﻌﺔ ﺨﻼﺒﺔ" ﻗﺒل ﺩﺨﻭﻝﻨﺎ ﻝﺒﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺘﺸﺩﻨﻲ ﻭﺘﻘﻭل" :ﺤﺒﻴﺒـﻲ ﺃﻨـﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﺩﺨﻭل ،ﻭﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺩﺨل ﺃﻨﺕ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ،ﺩﻋﻨﺎ ﻨﺭﺤل ﻤﻥ ﻫﻨﺎ" 76
"ﻜﻔﺎﻙ ﻁﻔﻭﻝﻴﺔ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻫﻴﺎ ...ﺃﻻ ﺘﺭﻴﻥ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﻝﻁﻴﻔﺔ؟ ﻭﻗﺩ ﻋﺭﻓﺕ ﻋﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻨﺒﻭﺡ ﻝﻬﺎ ﻋﻥ ﺃﻨﻔﺴﻨﺎ ،ﺴﺘﺤﻜﻲ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﺒﺎﻝﺘﺄﻜﻴﺩ"
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﺩﺨﻠﻨﺎ ...ﻓﻭﺠﺌﻨﺎ ! ...ﻓﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺩﺍﺨل ﻻ ﻴﻌﻁﻲ ﺼﻭﺭﺓ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﺭﺝ ،ﻓﻠﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﻤﺘﺴﺨﺎ ،ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻨﻅﻴﻑ ﻭﻏﺭﻴﺏ ﺃﻴـﻀﺎ، ﻜل ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﺨﺸﺒﻴﺔ ﻤﺼﻨﻭﻋﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﻐﻴﺭ ﻤﺼﻨﻌﺔ ،ﺍﻷﺒﻭﺍﺏ، ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺎﻋﺩ ،ﺍﻝﻤﻨﻀﺩﺓ ،ﺍﻝﺭﻓﻭﻑ ،ﻭﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻏـﺭﻑ ،ﺍﻝﻜـﻭﺥ ﻜﻠـﻪ ﻋﺒﺎﺭﺓ ﻋﻥ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ ﻤﺘﺴﻌﺔ ﻭﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻜل ﻤﺴﺘﻠﺯﻤﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ. ﺃﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺓ ﻤﻌﻠﻘﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺠﺩﺭﺍﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺩﺍﺨل ،ﺃﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻏﺭﻴﺒﺔ ﻤﺜـل ﺠﻠﻭﺩ ﺍﻷﻓﺎﻋﻲ ﻭﺍﻝﺴﺤﻠﻴﺎﺕ ﻭﺍﻝﻀﻔﺎﺩﻉ ﻭﺍﻝﺤﻴﻭﺍﻨﺎﺕ ﺒﺠﻤﻴﻊ ﺃﻨﻭﺍﻋﻬـﺎ، ﻤﻠﻲﺀ ﺒﺄﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻋﺠﻴﺒﺔ ﻻ ﺘﻤل ﺍﻝﻌﻴﻥ ﻝﻜﺜﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻨﻭﻉ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺭﻓﻭﻑ ﺍﻝﺨﺸﺒﻴﺔ ﺃﻭﺍﻨﻲ ﺯﺠﺎﺠﻴﺔ ﺸﻔﺎﻓﺔ ﻤﺤﻜﻤﺔ ﺍﻹﻏﻼﻕ ﻤﻤﺘﻠﺌـﺔ ﺒﺄﻋـﺸﺎﺏ ﻭﺒﻬﺎﺭﺍﺕ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺓ ﻭﺒﺄﻝﻭﺍﻥ ﻋﺩﻴﺩﺓ ،ﺍﻝﻌﺼﻔﺭ ،ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﻕ ،ﺍﻝﺯﻨﺠﺒﻴل ،ﺤـﺏ ﺍﻝﻬﻴل ﻭﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻝﻡ ﻨﻌﺭﻓﻪ. ﻝﻔﺕ ﻨﻅﺭﻨﺎ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺫﻫﺎﺒﻬﺎ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﻀﺩﺓ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺨﺭﺠﺕ ﻤﻥ ﻭﻋـﺎﺀ ﻼ ﻴﺒـﺩﻭ ﺠﻠﺩﻱ ﻗﺭﻥ ﻏﺯﺍل ﻭﻜﻴﺱ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻤﺴﺤﻭﻕ ﻜﺎﻝﺭﻤﺎﺩ ﻭﺸﻌﺭﺍ ﻁﻭﻴ ﹰ ﻤﻘﺼﻭﺼ ﹰﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻭ. ﻻ "ﻝﻤﺎ ﻻ ﺘﺠﻠﺴﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺼﻐﺎﺭﻱ؟ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﻋﻭﺩ ﻝﻜﻤﺎ ﺤﺎﻻ ،ﺴﺄﻓﺭﻍ ﺤـﺎ ﹰ ﻭﺁﺘﻲ .ﻓﺎﻝﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﻤﻌﻜﻤﺎ ﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﻤﺘﻌ ﹰﺎ" 79
"ﺍﺠﻠﺴﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ" "ﺴﺄﺠﻠﺱ ،ﻭﻝﻜﻥ ﺍﺒﻘﻲ ﻗﺭﻴﺒﺎ ﻤﻨﻲ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﺎﺭﺘﻴﺎﺡ" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﺠﺎﻝﺱ ﺒﺠﺎﻨﺒﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ" ﺠﻠﺴﺕ ﻜﻲ ﺃﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﻝﺨﻭﻑ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺼﻁﻨﻊ ﺍﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻝﻡ ﺘـﺄﻤﻥ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ،ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻴﻭﺤﻲ ﺒﺎﻝﻘﻠﻕ ،ﻤﻥ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ؟ ﻝﻡ ﻨﻌﺭﻑ. "ﻗﺩ ﺍﻨﺘﻬﻴﺕ ﻤﻥ ﻋﻤﻠﻲ ،ﺴﺄﻝﺒﻲ ﻝﻜﻤﺎ ﻤﻁﻠﺒﻜﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺠﺌﺘﻤﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺠﻠﻪ، ﻤﻊ ﻤﻥ ﺴﺄﺒﺩﺃ؟ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻤﻴﻠﺔ ﺃﻡ ﺃﻨﺕ؟" ﺴﺄﻝﺘﻬﺎ" :ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﻌﻨﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ؟ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺴﺘﺒﺩﺌﻴﻥ؟" ﺃﻭﺩ ﺴﻤﺎﻉ ﻤﺎ ﺘﻘﻭل! "ﺴﺄﺒﺩﺃ ﺒﻴﺩﻙ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺃﻭﻻ ،ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺏ ﻤﻨـﻲ ،ﻭﺃﻋﻁﻴﻨـﻲ ﻴـﺩﻙ" ﻗﺎﻝـﺕ ﺍﻝﻌﺠﻭﺯ. ﺃﻋﻁﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﻴﺩﻱ ﻓﻘﺎﻝﺕ" :ﻻ ...ﺍﻝﻴﺴﺭﻯ" ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﺕ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﻭﺃﻋﻁﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﻴﺩﻱ ﺍﻝﻴﺴﺭﻯ ،ﺃﻤﻌﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﻁﻭﻴﻼ ﻝﺩﺭﺠﺔ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﺃﺜﺎﺭﺘﻨﻲ ،ﺘﻤﺤﺼﺘﻨﺎ ﻁﻭﻴﻼ ﻭﺘﺎﺭﺓ ﺘﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻲ ﻭﺒﻌﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ ﺤﻴﺭﺓ ،ﺤﻴﺭﺓ ﻅﻬﺭﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺸﻜل ﻭﺠﻨﺘﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﺨﺘﻼﻑ ﻝﻭﻥ ﺒﺸﺭﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺴﺄﻝﺘﻬﺎ" :ﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ
80
ﻴﺴﻜﺘﻙ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ؟ ﺃﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻻ ﺘﺴﺘﻁﻴﻌﻴﻥ ﻓﻬﻤﻪ؟ ﺃﻡ ﺃﻥ ﺨﻁﻭﻁ ﻴﺩﻱ ﻻ ﺘﻤﻜﻨﻙ ﻤﻥ ﻗﺭﺍﺀﺘﻬﺎ؟" "ﻻ ﻴﺎ ﻓﺘﻰ ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻻ ﻴﺼﻌﺏ ﻋﻠﻲ ﺸﻲﺀ" ﺭﻤﺕ ﺒﻴﺩﻱ ﻭﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﻗﺭﺍﺀﺓ ﻜﻔﻙ" ﻋﺠﻴﺏ ﺘﺼﺭﻓﻬﺎ ،ﻜﻨﺕ ﺭﺍﻓﻀﺔ ﻝﻠﻔﻜﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ...ﻤﻠﻔﺕ ﻝﻠﻨﻅﺭ ﺠﺩﺍ ﺘﺼﺭﻓﻬﺎ ،ﻓﺴﻜﻭﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﻓـﻲ ﻜـﻑ ﺠﻨـﺎﺡ ﻁﻴﻠـﺔ ﺍﻝﻭﻗـﺕ ﻭﺘﺴﺎﺅﻻﺕ ﻅﻬﺭﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺤﺩﺓ ﻭﺠﻬﻬﺎ .ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﻨﻔﺴﻬﺎ. ﺴﺄﻝﺘﻬﺎ" :ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ﺃﻻ ﺘﺴﺘﻁﻴﻌﻴﻥ ﻗﺭﺍﺀﺓ ﻁﺎﻝﻌﻲ؟" "ﻭﻤﻥ ﻗﺎل ﺃﻨﻲ ﻻ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﻗﺭﺍﺀﺓ ﺍﻝﻁﺎﻝﻊ؟ ﺍﺫﻫﺒﺎ ﻹﻜﻤﺎل ﺭﺤﻠﺘﻜﻤـﺎ ﺴﻭﻴﺎ ،ﻭﺍﺴﺘﻤﺘﻌﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ،ﻓﺎﻝﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﻫﻲ ﺍﻝﻠﺤﻅﺔ ،ﺍﺫﻫﺒﺎ ﺃﺤﺒﺎﺌﻲ ﻭﻝﺘﻜﻥ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻜﻤﺎ ﻜﻠﻬﺎ ﺒﻬﺠﺔ ﻭﺴﻌﺎﺩﺓ ،ﺍﻤﻨﺤﺎ ﺍﻝﻠﺤﻅﺔ ﺯﻤﻨﺎ ﻭﺍﺴﺘﻤﺘﻌﺎ ﺒـﺴﻨﻴﻨﻪ، ﺍﺫﻫﺒﺎ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻗﺭﺃ ﻜﻔﻴﻜﻤﺎ ،ﻴﻜﻔﻴﻨﻲ ﺃﻨـﻲ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺴـﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﻓـﻲ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻜﻤﺎ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻗﺭﺭﺕ ﺃﻥ ﻻ ﺃﻗﻭل ﻓﻲ ﻁﺎﻝﻌﻜﻤﺎ" ﺨﺭﺠﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻜﻭﺥ ﺍﻝﻌﺠﻭﺯ ﺍﻝﻐﺠﺭﻴﺔ ﺒﺼﻤﺕ ﻝﻡ ﻨﺠﺩ ﻝـﻪ ﻤﻌﻨـﻰ، ﺒﺼﻤﺕ ﻁﺎل ﺤﺘﻰ ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻤﻜﺎﻨﻨﺎ ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻨﻨﻁﻕ ﺒﺄﻱ ﺤﺭﻑ ،ﺴﻜﻭﺕ ﺨﻴﻡ ﻋﻠﻴﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﻨﻌﺭﻑ ﻤﻌﻨﺎﻩ ،ﻜﺄﻨﻨﺎ ﻨﺎﺌﻤﺎﻥ ﻭﺃﻓﻘﻨﺎ ،ﻭﺇﺫﺍ 81
ﺒﻨﺎ ﺘﺤﺕ ﺍﻝﺸﺠﺭﺓ ﻭﺒﻴﻥ ﺸﻌل ﺸﻤﻭﻋﻨﺎ ،ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺤﻠﻤﺎ ﺒل ﻭﺍﻗﻊ ﻏﺭﻴﺏ، ﻭﻝﻐﺯﺍ ﻝﻡ ﻨﻔﻬﻤﻪ ،ﺍﻝﺤﻜﺎﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻝﻡ ﻨﻌﺭﻑ ﻝﻬﺎ ﻤﻌﻨﻰ ﻋﻠﻘـﺕ ﺒﺄﺫﻫﺎﻨﻨـﺎ ﺴﺅﺍﻻ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺇﺠﺎﺒﺔ ،ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻘﺭﺃ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻁﺎﻝﻊ؟ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻤﺕ ﺒﺄﻨﻨـﺎ ﺃﺘﻴﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺠل ﻫﺫﺍ ،ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻘﺭﺃ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻜﻑ؟ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﻓﺭﺤـﺕ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺘﻴﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻜﻲ ﺘﺤﻜﻲ ﻝﻨﺎ ﻋﻥ ﻏﺩﻨﺎ ،ﺒﻘﻲ ﺴﺅﺍﻻ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺠﻭﺍﺏ... ﺘﺒﺼﺭﺕ ﻜﻔﻲ ﻓﺄﺴﻬﻤﺕ ...ﻓﻘﺩﺕ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﺭﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻜﻼﻡ ،ﺭﻏﻡ ﺃﻥ ﺒﻐـﺩﺍﺩ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺭﻏﺏ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻘﺭﺃ ﻜﻔﻬﺎ ﺒﻴﺩ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﻋﺩﻝﺕ ﻋﻥ ﺭﺃﻴﻬﺎ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﺕ ﺭﻓﺽ ﺍﻝﻌﺠﻭﺯ ﻗﺭﺍﺀﺓ ﻁﺎﻝﻌﻲ ،ﺭﺠﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺘﻘﺭﺃ ﻝﻬﺎ ﻜﻔﻬﺎ ﺭﻏﻡ ﻋﺩﻡ ﻗﻨﺎﻋﺘﻬﺎ، ﻜل ﻫﺫﺍ ﺒﻘﻲ ﺴﺅﺍﻻ ﻋﺎﻝﻘﺎ ﻻ ﺇﺠﺎﺒﺔ ﻝﻪ ،ﻭﺍﻹﺠﺎﺒﺔ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺍﻝﻐﺠﺭﻴﺔ. ﺒﻘﻴﻨﺎ ﻁﻭل ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﺸﺎﺭﺩﻱ ﺍﻝﺫﻫﻥ ﺒﺎﻝﻌﺠﻭﺯ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻗﻠﺒﺕ ﺭﺤﻠﺘﻨﺎ ﻝﻠﻐﺯ ﻋﺠﻴﺏ ،ﻓﻠﻡ ﻨﻌﺩ ﻤﺴﺘﻤﺘﻌﻴﻥ ﺒﺄﻴﺂﺕ ﺍﻝﺠﻤـﺎل ﺤﻭﻝﻨـﺎ ،ﻤـﻥ ﺨـﻀﺭﺓ ﺍﻷﻋﺸﺎﺏ ،ﺍﺯﺩﻫﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﺒﺭﺍﻋﻡ ،ﺭﻭﻋﺔ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ،ﺘﻨﺎﺴﻕ ﺃﻭﺭﺍﻗﻬﺎ ﺒﺎﻝﺜﻤﺎﺭ ﻭﺇﺒﺩﺍﻉ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﻝﻕ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ. "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻓﻠﻨﻨﺴﻰ ﺃﻨﻨﺎ ﺫﻫﺒﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ،ﻓﻠﻨﻌﺘﺒﺭ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﻤﻀﻴﻨﺎﻩ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺨﻴﺎﻻ ،ﻨﻘﻭل ﺃﻥ ﻤﺎ ﺴﻤﻌﻨﺎﻩ ﻓﻜﺭﺓ ﺭﺍﻭﺩﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﻝﻡ ﻨﻌﻤل ﺒﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻨﺒـﺩﺃ ﻤﻥ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ ،ﻨﺤﻥ ﻝﻡ ﻨﺨﺴﺭ ﺸﻲﺀ ،ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﻫﻭ ﻜﻼﻡ ﻋﺠﻭﺯ ﺨﺭﻓﻪ ﺘﻌـﺎﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻭﺤﺩﺓ ﻻ ﺘﻌﻲ ﻤﺎ ﺘﻘﻭل ...ﻭﻫل ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﺴﺅﺍل ﻓﻘﻁ ﻷﻥ ﻋﺠـﻭﺯ ﺸﻤﻁﺎﺀ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻘﺭﺃ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻜﻑ؟ ﺃﺭﺴﻤﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﺴﻤﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺸﻔﺘﻴﻙ ﺜﺎﻨﻴﺔ ﻷﺴﺘﻤﺘﻊ 82
ﺒﺎﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ،ﺍﻓﺘﺤﻲ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻙ ﻭﺃﻤﻁﺭﻱ ﻋﺒﻘﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ،ﺃﻨﻅﺭﻱ ﺇﻝـﻲ ﻭﻨﺤﻲ ﻋﻨﻲ ﻓﻨﺠﺎﻥ ﻗﻬﻭﺘﻲ ،ﻻﻤﺴﻴﻨﻲ ﻭﺠﻤﻴﻠﻴﻨـﻲ ﺒﻤـﺭﺁﺓ ﺇﺒﻁﻴـﻙ، ﻋﺎﻨﻘﻴﻨﻲ ،ﻭﻝﺘﺨﺘﺒﺊ ﺍﻝﺯﺭﺍﻓﺔ ﻭﺘﻘﺼﺭ ﻋﻨﻘﻬﺎ ...ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﻲ ﻤﻨﻲ ﻭﺤﺭﺭﻴﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺜﻴﺎﺒﻲ" "ﻝﻜﻡ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ! ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻓﻴﻙ ﻴﻬﻤﺴﻨﻲ ...ﻓﺄﺤﺒﻙ ،ﺤﺒﻙ ﻝﻲ ﻴﺘﻜـﺎﺜﺭ، ﻴﺘﻭﺍﻝﺩ ،ﺒﻜﻼﻤﻙ ﻝﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ،ﺒﻨﻅﺭﺍﺕ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻙ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ،ﺒﻠﻤـﺴﺎﺕ ﻴـﺩﻴﻙ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ...ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ﻷﻨﻲ ﻻ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺇﻻ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ،ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ﻷﻥ ﺍﷲ ﻗﺩ ﺨﻠﻘﻙ ﻷﺤﺒﻙ ،ﻋﻠﻡ ﺍﷲ ﺃﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻝﻥ ﺘﺤﺏ ﺴﻭﺍﻙ ﻓﺨﻠﻘﻙ ،ﻋﻠـﻡ ﺒـﺄﻥ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻝﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻝﺴﻭﺍﻙ ﻓﺨﻠﻕ ﺜﻐﺭﻙ ،ﺒﺄﻥ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻝﻥ ﻴﻨﺒﺽ ﺇﻻ ﺒﺤﺒـﻙ، ﻓﻭﻀﻊ ﻗﻠﺒﻙ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻀﻠﻭﻉ ،ﻋﻠﻡ ﺍﷲ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ﻝﻥ ﻴﻼﻤﺴﻪ ﺴـﻭﺍﻙ ﻓﻭﻀﻊ ﺠﻠﺩﻙ ،ﺃﻨﻙ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻝﺴﺕ ﺴﻭﺍﻙ ﻓﺨﻠﻘﻨﻲ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ،ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﺘﻤـل ﺃﻨﻭﺜﺘﻬﺎ ﺇﻻ ﺒﺤﺒﻙ" "ﺃﻗﺴﻤﺕ ﺒﺎﷲ ﻤﻨﺫ ﻋﺭﻓﺘﻙ ﺒﺄﻨﻙ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻏﻴﺭﻙ ﻤﻥ ﻤﻠﻙ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ،ﺃﻗﺴﻤﺕ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺘﺭﺒﻊ ﻓﻲ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺴﺅﺍل ،ﺃﻨﻙ ﻋﺭﻓﺕ ﺴﺭﻱ ﻭﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺩ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺃﻨﺜﻰ ﺴﻭﺍﻙ ،ﺃﻗﺴﻤﺕ ﺒﺎﷲ ﻤﻨﺫ ﻋﺭﻓﺘﻙ ﻻ ﻭﻝﻥ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻨﻔـﺴﻲ ﺇﻻ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼﻝﻙ ،ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺴﺘﻤﺘﻊ ﺒﻠﺤﻅﺔ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻝﺴﺕ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻥ ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﻋﻨـﻙ ﻭﻝﻭ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻨﺎﻤﻲ ،ﻝﻥ ﺃﻜﻭﻥ ﺇﻻ ﺒﻙ ،ﺃﻗﺴﻤﺕ ﺒﺎﷲ ﻤﻨﺫ ﻋﺭﻓﺘﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﻤﻌﻙ ﺤﻴﺙ ﺸﺌﺕ ،ﻭﺃﻥ ﺃﺤﺏ ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻓﻴﻙ ،ﺃﻥ ﺁﻜل ﺍﻝﻁﻌـﺎﻡ 83
ﺤﺎﺭﺍ ﻜﻤﺎ ﺘﺤﺒﻴﻥ ،ﻭﺃﺸﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﻘﻬﻭﺓ ﺒﺎﻝﺤﻠﻴﺏ ﻜﻤﺎ ﺘﺸﺭﺒﻴﻥ ،ﻭﺃﻤﺘﻨﻊ ﻋﻥ ﻲ ﺍﻝﺩﺍﺌﻡ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﻜﻤﺎ ﻗﻠﺕ ،ﻭﺴـﺘﺒﻘﻰ ﺍﻝﺴﻜﺭﻴﺎﺕ ﻜﻤﺎ ﺘﻁﻠﺒﻴﻥ ﻭﺸﺭﺒ ﺍﻝﻁﺎﻭﻝﺔ ﺍﻝﺨﺸﺒﻴﺔ ﻤﻔﺭﻏﺔ ﻻ ﻴﻭﺠﺩ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﺴﻭﻯ ﺸﻤﻌﺔ ﻜﻤﺎ ﺘﺭﻴـﺩﻴﻥ، ﻭﺃﻥ ﺃﻀﻲﺀ ﺍﻝﺸﻤﻭﻉ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﺸﺭﺓ ﻜﻤـﺎ ﺭﻏﺒﺘـﻲ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘـﻲ. ﺃﻗﺴﻤﺕ ﺒﺎﷲ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ ﻜل ﻫﺫﺍ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼﻝﻙ ،ﺒﺄﻥ ﺃﻜﻭﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺤﺠـﺭﺓ ﻨﻭﻤﻲ ﻤﻌﻙ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻴﻭﻡ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﺩﻱ ﻋﺸﺭ ،ﺃﻗﺴﻤﺕ ﺒﺎﷲ ﺒـﺄﻥ ﻲ ﻤﻌـﻙ ،ﻭﺃﻥ ﻻ ﺃﻨﺘﺒـﻪ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻝﻴﻠﺔ ﺍﻝﺠﻤﻌﺔ ﻭﺍﻝﺴﺒﺕ ﺃﻁﻭل ﻝﻴﺎﻝ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ،ﻓﻤﺴﺎﺀﺍﺘﻨﺎ ﺠﻤﻴﻠﺔ ﻻ ﺘﺨﻀﻊ ﻝﻘﻭﺍﻨﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺯﻤﺎﻥ ﻭﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ...ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺃﺘﻌﻠﻤﻴﻥ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﻨﻅﺭﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﺃﺤﺱ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺃﺭﺍﻙ ﻝﻠﻤﺭﺓ ﺍﻷﻭﻝﻰ؟ ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﻨﺸﻭﺓ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ،ﺤﺏ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻻﻗﺘﺭﺍﺏ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ،ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺸﻲﺀ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﻴﺫﻫﺏ ﺸﻬﻴﺘﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻋﺩﺍﻙ ،ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﺭﻏﺒﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﺒﺄﻨﻲ ﺃﺭﻴـﺩﻙ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺍﻷﻭﻗﺎﺕ ،ﺃﺩﻤﻨﺕ ﺤﺒﻙ ،ﻻ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺍﻝﻌﻴﺵ ﻤﻥ ﺩﻭﻨﻙ ...ﺃﻨﺕ ﺃﺠﻤل ﺇﺩﻤﺎﻥ ﻋﺭﻓﺘﻪ ﻭﻗﻠﺒﻲ ،ﻓﺈﺩﻤﺎﻨﻙ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻴﻤﻨﺤﻨﻲ ﺃﻨﺎﻗـﺔ ،ﺭﺸـﺎﻗﺔ، ﺭﺠﻭﻝﺔ ﻭﺭﺠﺎﺀ ...ﺃﺭﻜﺽ ﺨﻠﻔﻙ ﻭﺘﻬﺭﺒﻴﻥ" ﺒﺩﺍ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﻋﻼﻤﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﺨﺠل ﻭﺍﻻﺤﻤﺭﺍﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺨﺩﻴﻬﺎ. "ﺁﻩ ...ﻤﺎ ﺃﺠﻤﻠﻙ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ...ﺃﺘﻌﻠﻤﻴﻥ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ؟ ﻝﻭ ﺃﻥ ﺤﺒـﻲ ﻝﻙ ﻗﻠﺒﺎ ﻭﻨﺒﺽ ﺒﺤﺒﻙ ﻭﺒﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻝﺤﺭﺍﺭﺓ ﻷﺼﻴﺏ ﺒﺄﺯﻤﺔ ﺤﺎﺩﺓ ﻭﺘﻭﻗـﻑ ﺒﻌﺩﻫﺎ ،ﺁﻩ ...ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺴﺅﺍل ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﻻ ﺃﺠﺩ ﺘﻔﺴﻴﺭﺍ ﺩﻗﻴﻘﺎ ﻝﻪ ،ﻫﻨـﺎﻙ 84
ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﻬﺎ ﺒﺴﺅﺍﻝﻲ ،ﺸﻲﺀ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﺃﻭﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜـﻭﻥ ﻴﻘﻴﻨـﺎ، ﺸﻲﺀ ...ﻗﻭﻝﻲ ﻝﻲ ،ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ؟ ﺃﺭﻯ ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺤﺭﻭﻓﻙ ،ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ﺘﻅﻬﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻭﺠﻨﺘﻴﻙ ﻭﺍﺤﻤﺭﺍﺭﺍ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻜﻤﺜل ﺃﻱ ﻤﺭﺓ" "ﺴﺄﺤﻜﻲ ﻝﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ...ﻝﻜﻥ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺄﺨﺫ ﻜﻼﻤـﻲ ﺒـﺴﺨﺭﻴﺔ ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ" ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. "ﻻ ﺘﻘﻠﻘﻲ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﺭﻯ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻙ ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ﺘﺴﺘﺤﻕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻗﺎﺒﻠﻬﺎ ﺒﻔﺭﺤﺔ ﻻ ﺒﺴﺨﺭﻴﺔ ،ﺤﺩﺜﻴﻨﻲ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﻓﻜﻠﻲ ﻝﻜﻲ ﺁﺫﺍﻥ ﺼﺎﻏﻴﺔ ﻭﻗﻠﺒﺎ ﻴـﺸﺤﺫﻙ، ﻴﺤﺒﻙ" "ﻤﻨﺫ ﻤﺎ ﻴﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﺸﻬﺭ ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﺸﻲﺀ ﻏﻴﺭ ﻁﺒﻴﻌﻲ ﻓـﻲ ﺠـﺴﺩﻱ، ﺩﻭﺍﺭﺍ ﻓﻲ ﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻷﺤﻴﺎﻥ ،ﻭﺸﻌﻭﺭﺍ ﺒﺎﻝﻐﺜﻴﺎﻥ" "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻻﺤﻅ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ،ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺃﺨﻔﻴﺕ ﻋﻨﻲ ﺃﻨﻙ ﻤﺭﻴﻀﺔ؟" "ﻻ ...ﻻ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﺴﺕ ﻤﺭﻴﻀﺔ ،ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﻫﻭ ...ﻫﻭ"... "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ؟ ﺃﺨﺒﺭﻴﻨﻲ ﻻ ﺘﺨﻴﻔﻴﻨﻲ" ﻲ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺤﻘﺎ؟" "ﺃﻗﻠﻘﺎ ﻋﻠ
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"ﺍﻨﻙ ﻓﻌﻼ ﻁﻔﻠﺔ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻭﻫل ﺤﺒﻲ ﻜﺫﺒﺔ؟" ﺼﺭﺕ ﺠﺎﺩﺍ ﺒﻌـﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ. "ﻻ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﻨﻲ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ...ﺇﻨﻤﺎ" "ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ؟ ﺃﺨﺒﺭﻴﻨﻲ ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ" "ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻌﻅﻡ ﺍﻷﺤﻴﺎﻥ ﺒﺩﻭﺍﺭ ﻭﺃﺸﻌﺭ"... "ﻗﺩ ﺴﻤﻌﺘﻙ ﻭﻓﻬﻤﺕ ،ﺩﻭﺍﺭﺍ ﻭﺸـﻌﻭﺭ ﺒﺎﻝﻐﺜﻴـﺎﻥ ﻭ....ﻭ ...ﻨﻌـﻡ ﻭﺘﻌﺘﻘﺩﻴﻥ ﺒﺄﻨﻪ ...ﺒﺄﻨﻪ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ؟ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﻨﺎ ﻜﺎﻥ ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻙ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺴﻤﻌﻙ ﺃﻜﻤﻠﻲ" "ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ...ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ "...ﻨﻜﺴﺕ ﺭﺃﺴﻬﺎ ﻝﻸﺭﺽ ﻭﻋﻼﻤـﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﺨﺠـل ﻭﺍﻝﻔﺭﺤﺔ ﻭﺍﻀﺤﺔ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻝﻘﻤﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻝﻴل ﺼﻴﻔﻲ. "ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ ﺃﻨﻪ ...ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ...ﺃﻨﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ...ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﻁﻔل" ﺼﺎﺭﺕ ﺘﺭﻓﻊ ﺒﺒﺼﺭﻫﺎ ﺘﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻲ ﺜﻭﺍﻥ ...ﻭﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻤﺭﺘﺒﻜﺔ ﻭﺃﺼﺎﺒﻌﻬﺎ ﻤﺘﺸﺎﺒﻜﺔ ،ﺘﻤﺴﻙ ﺒﺨﺎﺘﻤﻬﺎ ،ﺘﺩﻭﺭﻩ ﻓﻲ ﺇﺼﺒﻌﻬﺎ ...ﻤﻠﺠـﺊ ﻝﻠﻬﺭﻭﺏ ﻤﻥ ﺨﺠﻠﻬﺎ.
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ﻱ ﻭﻓﻴﻬﻲ ﻤﻔﺘﻭﺡ ﺍﻨﺒﻬﺎﺭﺍ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺴﻤﻌﺘﻬﺎ ﺘﻘﻭل ﻁﻔل ...ﺍﺘﺴﻌﺕ ﻋﻴﻨﺎ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻊ ﺍﺴﺘﻴﻌﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻗﺎﻝﺘﻪ ،ﻫﺫﺍ ﺸﻌﻭﺭ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻪ ﻤﻥ ﻗﺒل ،ﺍﺤﺴﺎﺱ ﺃﺼﻤﺕ ﺼﻭﺘﻲ ﻭﺃﺒﻬﻤﻨﻲ. "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻗﻠﺕ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ؟ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ؟ ﻁﻔل؟" ﺃﻭﻤﺄﺕ ﺒﺭﺃﺴﻬﺎ ﺘﺒﺘﺴﻡ ﻭﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﺒﻠﻰ ،ﻓﻘﺩ ﺭﺃﺕ ﺍﻝﻐﺠﺭﻴـﺔ ﻓﺭﺤﺘـﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻊ ﺘﺼﻭﺭﻫﺎ ،ﻝﻜﻨﻲ ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺇﻥ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﻴﻘﻴﻨﺎ ﺃﻡ ﻻ ،ﻓﻘﺩ ﺴﻤﻌﺕ ﺠﺎﺭﺘﻨﺎ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺘﺤﻜﻲ ﻷﻤﻲ ﻋﻥ ﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﺍﻝـﺫﻱ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻪ ﺍﻵﻥ ،ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺃﻤﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻭﻗﺘﻬﺎ" :ﻤﺒﺭﻭﻙ ﻫﻭ ﻁﻔل" "ﺇﺫﻥ ﺴﺄﺨﺫﻙ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﻴﻨﺔ ﻭﻨﺘﻴﻘﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺸﻜﻭﻜﻨﺎ ،ﺴﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﻏـﺩﺍ ﺇﻥ ﺸﺎﺀ ﺍﷲ ﻝﻠﻁﺒﻴﺏ" ﻭﻗﻔﺕ ﺭﺍﻗﺼﺎ ﻻ ﺘﺴﻌﻨﻲ ﻓﺭﺤﺘﻲ ،ﻻ ﻅل ﺸﺠﺭﺓ ،ﻭﺍﺩ ﺠﻠﺴﻨﺎ ﻓﻴﻪ، ﺠﺒﺎل ﺘﺤﻴﻁﻨﺎ ﺃﻭ ﻨﻬﺭ ﻜﺒﻴﺭ ﻁﻭﻴل ﺭﻜﺒﻨﺎﻩ ...ﻝﻡ ﺘﻌﺩ ﺘﻠﻤﻨـﻲ ﻻ ﺃﺭﺽ ﻭﻻ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ،ﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﻗﻔﺯ ،ﺃﺭﻜﺽ ،ﺃﻏﻨﻲ ،ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﺃﻤﺴﻙ ﺒﻴـﺩﻫﺎ ﺃﺸﺩﻫﺎ ﺇﻝﻲ ﻓﺭﺤﺎ ﺃﺭﻜﺽ ﺒﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻀﻤﻬﺎ ﺇﻝﻲ ،ﺃﺘﻤﺘﻊ ﺒﺎﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻤـﻥ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺨﻁﻭﺍﺕ ،ﻓﺎﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻴﻀﻔﻲ ﻝﻲ ﺃﺤﺴﺎﺱ ﻏﺯﻴﺭﺍ ﻓﺄﺤﺒﻬﺎ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ،ﻭﻤﻥ ﻗﺭﻴﺏ ﺃﻋﺸﻘﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻗﺒﻠﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻋﺎﻨﻘﻬﺎ ﻓـﺘﻼﻤﺱ ﻗﻠﺒـﻲ ﻭﺃﺼﻐﺭ ...ﻜﺎﺒﺭ ﻋﻥ ﻜﺎﺒﺭ. 87
"ﺍﻨﺘﺒﻪ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ" ﻗﺎﻝﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﺼﺭﺨﺔ ﻓﺭﺤﺔ "ﺍﻨﺘﺒﻪ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ،ﺴﺄﺴﻘﻁ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ،ﺒﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﻁﻔل ،ﺤﺎﺫﺭ" ﻱ ﻭﻗﻠـﺕ: ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺴﻤﻌﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﻗﻔﺕ ﺒﺴﺭﻋﺔ ﺃﻤـﺴﻜﺕ ﻜﺘﻔﻴﻬـﺎ ﺒﻴـﺩﺍ "ﺍﻋﺫﺭﻴﻨﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻝﻘﺩ ﺍﺨﺘﻠﺴﺘﻨﻲ ﻓﺭﺤﺘﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻋﺎﻝﻡ ﻨﺴﻴﺕ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺤﺭﺼﻲ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ،ﺃﺴﺄﻝﻙ ﻋﺫﺭﺍ ﻁﻔﻠﺘﻲ" "ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺘﺼﻭﺭ ﺃﻥ ﻝﻨﺎ ﻁﻔﻠﺔ ﺘﺴﻴﺭ ﻤﻌﻨﺎ ﺘﺘﻭﺴﻁﻨﺎ ﺘﺒﻜﻲ ﻷﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﺤﺘﺎﺝ ﺭﻀﻌﻪ ،ﺃﺘﺼﻭﺭﻫﺎ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻲ ﻴﻜﺎﺩ ﻴﺘﻭﻗﻑ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﺒﺽ ،ﻫل ﺴﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻭﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺒﻴﻨﻨﺎ؟ ﺃﺸﻙ ﺒﺄﻨﻪ ﺤﻠﻡ ﺃﻋﻴﺸﻪ ﻝﺤﻅﺎﺕ ﺴﺘﻨﺘﻬﻲ ﺒﻌـﺩ ﺸﺭﻭﻕ ﺸﻤﺱ ﻓﻲ ﻴﻭﻡ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ" "ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﻫل ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻠﺤﻅﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻨﻌﻴﺸﻬﺎ ﺤﻘﻴﻘﺔ؟ ﺼـﺤﻴﺢ ﺃﻥ ﺫﻝـﻙ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺒﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﻁﻔل؟ ﻫل ﻓﺭﺤﺘﻲ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﻗﻊ؟ ﻫل ﻨﺤﻥ ﺃﺼﺤﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﺤﻕ ﻓﻲ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺤﺔ؟ ﻫل ﻨﺤﻥ ﺸـﻲﺀ ﺜﻤـﻴﻥ ﻜـﻲ ﻴﻌﻁﻴﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺯﻤﺎﻥ ﻜل ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺴﻌﺎﺩﺓ ،ﻭﺍﻝﻀﻴﻑ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺘﻅﺭ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ؟" "ﻭﻝﻤﺎ ﻻ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ؟ ﺃﻻ ﺘﺤﺒﻴﻨﻨﻲ؟ ﺃﻻ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ؟ ﺃﻻ ﺘﺸﺘﺎﻗﻴﻥ ﺇﻝﻲ ﻋﻨـﺩ ﺫﻫﺎﺒﻲ؟ ﺃﻻ ﺘﻔﺭﺤﻴﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺇﻴﺎﺒﻲ؟ ﻭﻝﻤﺎ ﻻ؟ ﻭﻨﺤﻥ ﻤﻥ ﻜـﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﺯﻤـﺎﻥ ﺒﺎﻷﻝﻔﺔ ﺯﻤﺎﻥ ﻭﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﺒﺎﻝﺭﺤﻤﺔ ﻤﻜﺎﻥ ،ﻭﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﺒﺎﻝﺤﺏ ﺤﻴﺎﺓ ،ﻝﻤﺎ ﻻ؟ ﺃﻝﻡ ﻨﺯﺭﻉ ﺍﻝﺸﺠﺭ ﻭﺤﻭﻝﻨﺎ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﺍﻝﺠﺭﺩﺍﺀ ﺒﺴﺘﺎﻥ ﺯﻴﺘﻭﻥ؟ ﻭﻝﻤـﺎ ﻻ؟ 88
ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﺩﻭﻨﺎ ﻋﻥ ﻨﺴﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺩﻨﻴﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ ،ﻝﻤﺎ ﻻ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘـﻲ؟ ﺭﻏـﻡ ﺃﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻤﻼﻴﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﺠﺎل ﻏﻴﺭﻱ ،ﻝﻜﻨﻲ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ" "ﺃﺘﻌﻠﻡ؟ ﻝﻭ ﺃﻨﻙ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﺃﻨﺕ؟ ﻝﻜﺎﻥ ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻤﺨﺘﻠﻑ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺕ ﻤـﻥ ﺯﻴﻥ ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻓﻲ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ،ﺃﻭﻀﺤﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﻭﻜﻼﻤﻙ ﺫﻭ ﻭﻗﻊ ﻓﻲ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻤﺜل ﻁﺒﻭل ﻤﺘﻔﺭﺠﻴﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺤﻠﺒﺔ ﻝﻤﺼﺎﺭﻋﺔ ﺜﻴﺭﺍﻥ ﺍﺴﺒﺎﻨﻴﺔ" "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ...ﺒﻜل ﺭﻗﺼﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻡ ﻻ ﺃﻋﺒﺭ ﻋﻥ ﻓﺭﺤﺘﻲ ﻭﻻ ﺒﻜل ﻁﺒﺎﻉ ﺍﻝﺸﻌﻭﺏ ﻭﻋﺎﺩﺍﺘﻬﻡ ،ﺴﺎﻋﺩﻴﻨﻲ ﻋﻠﻨﺎ ﻨﺠﺩ ﺴﻭﻴﺎ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻨﻜﺴﺭ ﺒﻪ ﺍﻝﻤﻌﻘﻭل ﻭﻨﺘﺭﻙ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﻘﻭل ...ﻓﻼ ﺍﻝﻐﻨﺎﺀ ﻭﺍﻝﻁﺭﺏ ﻴﻜﻔﻲ ﻭﻻ ﺍﻝﺭﻗﺹ ،ﻭﻻ ﺇﺒﺩﺍﻉ ﻝﺤﻥ ﺨﻠﻘﻨﺎﻩ ﻤﻥ ﻓﺭﺤﺘﻨﺎ ،ﺃﺃﻥ ﻗﺒﻠﺘﻙ ﺃﻭ ﻋﺎﻨﻘﺘـﻙ ﺃﻭ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﻻﻤـﺴﺘﻙ ﻭﺍﻝﺘﺤﻤﺕ ﺒﻙ ﻤﺭﺍﺭﺍ؟ ﺃﻜل ﻫﺫﺍ ﻴﻜﻔﻴﻨﺎ ﻝﻨﻌﺒﺭ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ؟ ﺃﻜل ﻫﺫﺍ ﻴﻜﻔﻲ؟ ﻝﻭ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺸﺒﺢ ،ﻁﺎﺌﺭ ﻗﻭﻱ ﻭﺃﺤﻤﻠﻙ ﻝﻁﺭﺕ ﺒﻙ ﻋﺒـﺭ ﺍﻝـﺴﻤﻭﺍﺕ ﺍﻝـﺴﺒﻊ ﻭﺴﺭﻗﺕ ﻜل ﺍﻝﻨﺠﻭﻡ ﻭﺃﻝﻘﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﻗﻼﺩﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺼﺩﺭﻙ ،ﺴﻴﺯﻴﺩ ﻝﻤﻌﺎﻨﻬﺎ ﺤﻭل ﻋﻨﻘﻙ ،ﻝﺤﻤﻠﺕ ﺍﻝﻘﻤﺭ ﻭﺒﺤﺜﺕ ﻋﻥ ﺁﺨﺭ ﻭﻗﺩﻤﺘﻬﻤﺎ ﺨﺎﺘﻤﻴﻥ ﻭﺍﺤﺩ ﻝـﻙ ﻭﺍﻷﺨﺭ ...ﻝﻙ ،ﻝﻭ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻋﻔﺭﻴﺕ ﻝﺤﻀﻨﺘﻙ ﺒﻜل ﺭﻓﻕ ﻭﺤﻨﺎﻥ ﻭﻋﺒﺭﺕ ﺴﺒﻊ ﺃﺭﺍﺽ ﻷﺨﺭﺝ ﻜل ﺫﻫﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﺃﺼﻬﺭﻩ ﻗﻴﺩﺍ ﻴﺭﺒﻁﻨـﻲ ﺒـﻙ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻤﺎﺕ ،ﻷﻭﻅﻑ ﻜل ﺠﻨﻴﺎﺕ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﺨﺎﺩﻤﺎﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺤﺩﻴﻘﺘﻙ ،ﺃﺤـﻀﺭ ﻜل ﻤﻼﺌﻜﺔ ﺍﻝﺴﻤﻭﺍﺕ ﺍﻷﻨﺜﻭﻴﺎﺕ ﻤﺴﺭﺤﺎﺕ ﻝﺸﻌﺭﻙ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻷﺘﺠﻤـل ﺒﻌﻴﻨﻴﻙ ﺍﻝﻨﻌﺎﺱ ﻭﺸﻔﺘﻴﻙ ،ﻵﺨﺫﻙ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺠﻨﺎﻥ ﺍﷲ ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻨﻬﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﻌﺴل... 89
ﻜل ﺍﻝﺤﻭﺭﻴﺎﺕ ﻴﻤﺘﻥ ﻏﻴﻀﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺴﺤﺭﻙ ،ﻷﻗﻭل ﻝﻬﻥ ﻻ ...ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺒﺼﺭ ﺒﺄﻋﻴﻨﻬﻥ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﻗﺹ ﺃﻅﺎﻓﺭ ﻗﺩﻤﻴﻙ ،ﺃﺤﻤﻠﻙ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺴـﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﺠﻨـﺎﻥ ﻭﺃﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﻌﻨﺏ ،ﻷﺘﺨﻴﻠﻬﺎ ﺸﻜﻼ ﺁﺨﺭ ﻏﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻗﺭﺃﺕ ﻋﻨـﻪ ،ﺒﻐـﺩﺍﺩ ﻭﺇﻥ ﻤﺭﺭﻨﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻨﻬﺭ ﺍﻝﻠﺒﻥ ﻭﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺴﺒﺤﻴﻥ ،ﻓﻌﻭﻤﻲ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﺘﺸﺒﻊ ﻱ ﺒﺎﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﺘﺴﺭﻕ ﻋﺭﻗـﻙ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﻋﻭﺩﻙ ﻭﺘﻨﻌﻤﻴﻥ ،ﺴﺄﺒﻘﻰ ﺃﻜﺤل ﻋﻴﻨﺎ ﺘﻨﺘﻬﻴﻥ ،ﺃﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺸﺠﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﻜﻠﺕ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﺃﻤﻨﺎ ﺤﻭﺍﺀ ...ﻜﻠﻲ ﻤﻨﻬـﺎ ﻜﻤـﺎ ﺘﺸﺎﺌﻴﻥ ،ﻭﺇﻥ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ ﺃﻋﻁﻲ ﻜل ﺍﻝﻨﺴﺎﺀ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺕ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻤﻥ ﺘﺯﻴﻨﺕ ﺒﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺠﻨﺔ" "ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺏ ﻤﻨﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﻭﻋﺎﻨﻘﻨﻲ ﺒﺸﺩﺓ ،ﺃﺘﺭﻜﻨﻲ ﺃﻏﻔﻭ ﺩﺍﺌﻤـﺎ ﺒـﻴﻥ ﻴﺩﻴﻙ ،ﺃﺯﺭﻉ ﻗﺒﻠﻙ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ،ﻝﻭ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻷﻤﺭ ﺒﻴـﺩﻱ ﻻﺴـﺘﺒﺩﻝﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﻤﺎﺌﻲ ﺃﻏﺘﺴل ﺒﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺼﺤﻭ ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﺎﻡ ،ﺃﻋﺩﻭ ،ﺃﺫﻫـﺏ ،ﺃﺠـﻲﺀ ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻻ ﺃﻨﺎﻡ ﻷﻨﻲ ﺃﺸﻜﻭ ﺍﻝﻌﻭﺯ ﻝﻬﺎ. ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ،ﺴﻨﺒﺩﺃ ﺒﺘﻭﺴﻌﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ،ﻓﻬﻨﺎﻙ ﻀﻴﻑ ﻗﺎﺩﻡ ،ﻭﺃﻱ ﻀﻴﻑ؟" ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. "ﻨﻌﻡ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻻﺒﻨﺘﻨﺎ ،ﻝﻁﻔﻠﻨﺎ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﺫﻜﺭﺍ ﺃﻡ ﺃﻨﺜﻰ ﻻ ﻴﻬﻡ ،ﻓﻬـﻭ ﻭﻝﺩﻨﺎ ﻭﺤﺩﻨﺎ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺒﻭﻩ ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﺃﻤﻪ ،ﻤﺎ ﺃﺠﻤل ﺃﻥ ﻨﻜﻭﻥ ﻭﺍﻝﺩﻴﻥ ...ﻴـﺄﺘﻲ ﺇﻝﻲ ﻴﺒﻜﻲ ﻷﻨﻙ ﻤﻨﻌﺘﻴﻪ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺄﻜل ﺒﻴﺩﻴﻪ ،ﺃﻭ ﻷﻨﻙ ﺘﺭﻓﻀﻴﻥ ﺇﺨﺭﺍﺠﻪ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﻘﺔ" 90
"ﻭﻝﻤﺎ ﻻ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﻤﻨﻌﻪ ﺍﻷﻜل ﺒﻴﺩﻴﻪ؟ ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﻤﻨﻌﻪ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺨﺭﺝ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﻘﺔ" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﺨﺭﺠﻪ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﻘﺔ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ،ﺒﺸﺭﻁ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﻌـﻪ ،ﺃﻤـﺎ ﺍﻝﻁﻌﺎﻡ ﺒﻴﺩﻴﻪ ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﺴﻤﺢ ﻝﻪ ،ﻭﺍﻥ ﺍﺘﺴﺨﺕ ﻤﻼﺒﺴﻪ ﻓﺄﻨﺕ ﺴـﺘﻨﻅﻔﻴﻬﺎ، ﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﻁﻌﻤﻪ ﻭﺴﺄﺴﻤﺢ ﻝﻪ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺴﺒﺢ ﻓﻲ ﺁﻨﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﻁﻌﺎﻡ ﺇﻥ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺒﺎﺭﺩﺓ" "ﻤﺎ ﺃﺠﻤل ﺃﻥ ﻨﺒﻘﻰ ﺴﻌﺩﺍﺀ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﻁﻭﺍل ﻋﻤﺭﻨﺎ ،ﻫل ﺴﺘﺒﻘﻰ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﻋﻬﺩﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺤﺒﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ؟ ﻫل ﺴﻴﺒﻘﻰ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻤﺎﺕ؟ ﻫل ﺴﻴﺒﻘﻰ ﻗﻠﺒﻙ ﻭﺠﺴﺩﻙ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﺩﺍﻓﺊ ﺒﺤﺒﻲ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ؟" "ﻻ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ...ﻝﻥ ﻴﺒﻘﻰ ﺤﺒﻲ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ،ﻝﻭ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻜﻭﻥ ﺼـﺭﻴﺤﺎ ﻤﻌﻙ!" ﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﺭﻯ ﻓﻲ ﻭﺠﻬﻬﺎ ﺇﻨﻜﺴﺎﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﺤﻤﺭﺍﺭﺍ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻅﻬﺭ ﻤﻌﺎﻝﻤﻪ ﺒﻭﻀﻭﺡ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻌﺩ "ﻤﻥ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻨﻅﺭﻱ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺒﻘﻰ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ،ﻓﺤﺒﻲ ﻝﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻤﺜل ﺸﺠﺭﺓ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﺯﺭﻋﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﻝـﻥ ﺃﺴـﻤﺢ ﻷﺤﺩ ﺒﺄﻥ ﻴﻬﺘﻡ ﺒﻬﺎ ...ﺴﺄﺴﻘﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ ،ﻭﺃﺭﻋﺎﻫﺎ ﺒﺄﻨﺎﻤل ﻻﻤﺴﺘﻙ ﻜﻲ ﺘﻜﺒﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻴﻭﻡ ﻭﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺤﺘـﻰ !...ﺴـﺘﺒﻘﻰ ﺨـﻀﺭﺍﺀ ﻴﺎﻨﻌﺔ ،ﻴﺯﻴﺩ ﺠﻤﺎﻝﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻴﻭﻡ ﻭﻝﺤﻅﺔ ،ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﻁﻔﻠﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻌـﺩﻨﺎ ﻭﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻭﺍﺭﺙ ﺍﻝﻭﺤﻴﺩ ﻝﺤﺒﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻌﺭﻓﻪ ﺃﺤﺩ ﺴﻭﺍﻨﺎ"
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"ﺁﻩ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ...ﻜﻡ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺠﻤﺎل ﺍﻝﺩﻨﻴﺎ ،ﺃﻨﻲ ﺍﻷﺠﻤـل ،ﺍﻷﺴـﻌﺩ، ﻭﺍﻷﻜﺜﺭ ﺠﺎﺫﺒﻴﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﺴﺎﺀ ...ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﺄﻥ ﻜل ﻤﻠﻜـﺎﺕ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻝـﻭ ﻤﻠﻜﻨﻬﺎ ﻭﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻝﻥ ﻴﺸﻌﺭﻥ ﺒﺎﻝﺴﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﻋﻴـﺸﻬﺎ ﻭﺤـﺩﻱ ﻤﻌﻙ ...ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺴﺭﻉ ﺍﻷﻴﺎﻡ ،ﺃﻥ ﺃﻤﺴﻙ ﻋﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﻭﺃﺩﻭﺭ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺒﺴﺭﻋﺔ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻹﻋﺼﺎﺭ ،ﺃﻥ ﺃﺴﺒﻕ ﺍﻝﺯﻤﺎﻥ ﻭﺃﻜﻭﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺸﻬﺭ ﺍﻝﺘﺎﺴﻊ، ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻨﺠﺏ ﻭﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺒﺠﺎﻨﺒﻲ ،ﺃﻤﺴﻙ ﺒﺸﻌﺭﻙ ﻭﺃﺸﺩﻙ ﺇﻝﻲ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻤﺴﻙ ﺒﻴﺩﻙ ﻭﺃﻋﺽ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﻭﻻﺩﺘﻲ ،ﺴﺄﺼﺭﺥ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﺒﺤـﺩﺓ ﻴـﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ،ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺘﺭﺠﻡ ﺼﺭﺍﺨﺎﺘﻲ ﺤﺒﺎ ،ﻓﻜﻠﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺴﺘـﺴﻤﻌﻬﺎ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺒﺎﻷﻤﺱ ﻤﻨﻙ ﻗﺒل ﻭﺜﻭﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺤﻀﺎﻨﻙ ،ﻜل ﻀﺭﺒﺔ ﻤﻥ ﻴـﺩﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺼﺩﺭﻙ ﺍﻝﺤﻨﻭﻥ ﻋﻨﺎﻕ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻬﺠﻌﻲ ،ﻭﻋﻨـﺩﻤﺎ ﻴﺤـﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻭﻗـﺕ ﻭﻴﺨﺭﺝ ﺍﻝﺠﻨﻴﻥ ،ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀﻫﺎ ﺃﻗﻭل ﻝﻙ" :ﺃﻜﺭﻫﻙ" ﻓﻬـﺫﺍ ﺤـﺩﻴﺙ ﺍﻝـﺭﻭﺡ ﺒﺎﻷﻤﺱ ...ﺤﺘﻰ ﻓﻲ ﻭﻻﺩﺘﻲ ﻝﻭ ﺍﺨﺘﻠﻔﺕ ﻋﻠﻲ ﻭﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﺍﻷﻝﻔﺎﻅ ،ﺴﺄﺒﻘﻰ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ﻭﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻝﻥ ﻴﺭﻀﻰ ﺇﻻ ﺒﻜل ﻜﻠﻤﺔ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺤﺒﻙ ،ﻭﺇﻥ ﻨﻁﻕ ﻝـﺴﺎﻨﻲ ﺒﺸﻲﺀ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻻ ﺘﺤﺒﻪ ﺃﻭ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻌﻬﺩﻩ ﻤﻨﻲ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺒﺭﺍﺀ ﻤﻨﻪ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﻴﻨﻁـﻕ ﺒﺤﺒﻙ ﺜﺎﻨﻴﺔ" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺃﺘﺼﻭﺭﻙ ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﺴﺄﻝﻴﻨﻨﻲ! ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ،ﻻ ﺃﻗﺩﺭ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﻭﻑ، ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ ﺴﺎﻋﺩﻨﻲ ،ﺃﻋﻁﻨﻲ ﻴﺩﻙ ،ﻭﺤﻴﻨﻬﺎ ...ﻤـﺎﺫﺍ ﺴـﺄﻓﻌل ﺤﻴﻨﻬـﺎ؟ ﺃﺃﺘﺭﻜﻙ ﺠﺎﻝﺴﺔ ﺘﻨﺎﺩﻴﻨﻲ؟ ﺃﻡ ﺁﺘﻲ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﻭﺒﺩﻻ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﻁﻴﻙ ﻴـﺩﻱ... ﺃﺤﻤﻠﻙ؟ ﺃﺘﺼﻭﺭﻙ ﻓﻲ ﻝﻴﻠﺔ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻨﺎﺌﻡ ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺸـﻬﺭﻙ ﺍﻷﺨﻴـﺭﺓ، 92
ﺘﺼﺒﺤﻴﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﺜﺎﻝﺜﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻔﺠﺭ ﻭﺘﻭﻗﻅﻴﻨﻨﻲ ،ﺘﻘﻭﻝﻲ" :ﻗـﻡ... ﺍﻨﻬﺽ" ﻭﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻘﻭﻝﻲ ﻝﻲ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ "ﻗﻡ ...ﺍﻨﻬﺽ ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺩ ﺃﺤﺘﻤل ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﺄﻝﻡ ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺴﺄﻓﻌل ،ﺇﺒﻘﻰ ﻤﺴﺘﻴﻘﻅ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺠﺎﻨﺒﻲ ...ﻗﻡ ﻫﻴﺎ" ﻀﺤﻜﺕ ﺒﺼﻭﺕ ﻤﺭﺘﻔﻊ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﻜﻼﻤﻲ ،ﻴﻌﻠﻭﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺡ ﻭﺍﻝﺴﺭﻭﺭ. "ﻻ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻝﻨﺴﺎﺀ ﺍﻷﺨﺭﻴﺎﺕ ،ﻭﻁﻔﻠﺘﻲ ﻝﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻷﻁﻔﺎل ،ﻝﻥ ﺘﻌﺎﻨﺩﻨﻲ ،ﺴﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺤﻨﻭﻨﺔ ﺠﺩﺍ ،ﻓﻬﻲ ﺘﻌـﺭﻑ ﺃﻨـﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﻬﺎ ،ﻻ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺼﺭﺥ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻭﻻﺩﺓ ،ﻝﻥ ﺃﺸﺩ ﺸـﻌﺭﻙ ،ﻻ ﺒﺎﻝﻌﻜﺱ ﺴﺄﻤﺴﻙ ﺒﻴﺩﻙ ﺍﻝﻘﻭﻴﺔ ﻭﺃﻀﻌﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺒﻁﻨـﻲ ﻜـﻲ ﺘﺒـﺎﺭﻙ ﻭﻻﺩﺘﻲ ،ﺴﺄﻤﺴﻙ ﺒﻴﺩﻙ ﺍﻷﺨﺭﻯ ﻭﺃﻗﺒﻠﻬﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻻ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺇﻻ ﺒﻨﺸﻭﺘﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺘﻘﺒﻴل ﻴﺩﻴﻙ ﻭﺸﻔﺘﻴﻙ ،ﻻ ﻝﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻭﻻﺩﺘﻲ ﻤﺜل ﻭﻻﺩﺓ ﺍﻝﻨﺴﺎﺀ ،ﻓﻜـل ﻨﺴﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻜﻭﻥ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺘﻤﺘﻌﻥ ﻤﻊ ﺭﺠﺎﻝﻬﻥ ﻤﺜﻠﻲ ،ﻝﻡ ﺘﺸﻌﺭﻥ ﺒﺎﻝﺤﺏ ﻤﺜﻠـﻲ، ﻝﻡ ﺘﻌﺸﻥ ﺃﻨﻭﺜﺘﻬﻥ ،ﻝﻡ ﺘﺨﺭﺠﻥ ﻋـﻥ ﺍﻝﻌـﺎﺩﺓ ﻭﺍﻝﻤﻌﻘـﻭل ﻭﺘﻜـﺴﺭﻥ ﺍﻷﻏﻼل" "ﺃﻨﻅﺭﻱ ﻝﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺱ ﻜﻴﻑ ﻴﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻴﻨﺎ ،ﻜﺄﻨﻪ ﻴﺭﻴـﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴـﺸﺎﺭﻜﻨﺎ ﺒﻬﺠﺘﻨﺎ ،ﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﻙ؟ ﺃﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻴﻪ؟ ﺃﺘﺤﺒﻴﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻨﺭﻜﺏ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺱ؟"
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ﺘﺴﺎﺀﻝﺕ ...ﻭﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﺘﺠﻴﺏ ،ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻬﺎ "ﺇﺫﻥ ﻫﻴﺎ ،ﺇﻨﻲ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺍﻝﺭﻀﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻙ" ﺍﺘﺠﻬﻨﺎ ﻨﺤﻭﻩ. "ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﻴﺒﺩﻭ ﺍﻝﺤﺼﺎﻥ ﺒﺭﻱ ،ﻭﻝﻥ ﻴﺤﺘﻤل ﺃﻥ ﻴﻤﺘﻁﻴﻪ ﺃﺤﺩ" "ﻝﻜﻨﻲ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻴﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻨﻤﺘﻁﻴﻪ ،ﻫﻭ ﻴﺤﺱ ﺒﻤﺩﻯ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺤـﺔ ﺍﻝﺘـﻲ ﻨﻌﻴﺸﻬﺎ" ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﻨﺎ ﻤﻨﻪ ،ﻝﻡ ﻴﺒﺩﻭ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺍﻝﺘﻤﺭﺩ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻝﻭﺤﺸﻴﺔ ﻜﻤﺎ ﻫﻭ ﻤﻌﺘﺎﺩ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﺨﻴﻭل ﺍﻝﺒﺭﻴﺔ ،ﻻ ﺒﺎﻝﻌﻜﺱ ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺏ ﻤﻨﺎ ﻭﺼﺎﺭ ﻴﺤﺭﻙ ﺒﺭﺠﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﻴﺤﻨﻲ ﺭﺃﺴﻪ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻷﺴﻔل ...ﻴﺤﻴﻨﺎ ،ﻴﻼﻤﺱ ﺭﺃﺴﻪ ﺒﺄﺠﺴﺎﺩﻨﺎ ﻜﺄﻨﻪ ﻤﻌﻨﺎ ﻤﻨـﺫ ﺴﻨﻴﻥ. ﺍﻤﺘﻁﻴﺘﻪ ﺃﻭﻻ ﻭﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ" :ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻀﻌﻲ ﺭﺠﻠﻙ ﺍﻝﻴﺴﺭﻯ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﻗﺩﻤﻲ ﻭﺃﻋﻁﻨﻲ ﻴﺩﻴﻙ" ﺸﺩﺩﺘﻬﺎ ﺇﻝﻲ ﺒﺴﺭﻋﺔ ﻭﻓﻲ ﺜﻭﺍﻥ ﺍﻤﺘﻁﺘﻪ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ،ﻋﺎﻨﻘﺘﻨﻲ ﺒﺸﺩﺓ ﺨﻭﻓﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺴﻘﻭﻁ ﻭﺤﺒﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻨﻬﺩﻴﻬﺎ ﺘﻘﺩﺴﻨﻲ. "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﺃﺘﻌﻠﻤﻴﻥ ﻜﻡ ﻫﻭ ﻝﻁﻴﻑ ﻭﻤﺜﻴﺭ ﺭﻜﻭﺒﻙ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ﻭﺘﻌﺎﻨﻘﻴﻨﻨﻲ؟"
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"ﻫل ﻫﺫﺍ ﻴﺴﻌﺩﻙ؟ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻨﺒﻘﻰ ﻤﺩﺓ ﻁﻭﻴﻠﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺤـﺼﺎﻥ ،ﺃﻨـﺎ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻤﺘﻌﺔ ﺒﺄﺭﺠﺤﺘﻪ ﻭﻫﻭ ﻴﻌﺩﻭ ...ﻨﺤﻥ ﻋﻠﻴـﻪ ﻨـﺴﺎﺒﻕ ﺍﻝﺭﻴـﺎﺡ ﻭﺇﺤﺴﺎﺴﻲ ﺒﻙ ﻴﺘﺼﺎﻋﺩ ،ﻤﻼﻤﺴﺘﻙ ﺘﻤﻨﺤﻨﻲ ﻗﻭﺓ ﺃﻜﺒﺭ ﻤﻨﻪ ﺫﺍﺘﻪ ،ﻫﻴـﺎ ﺃﻤﺴﻜﻲ ﺠﻴﺩﺍ ﺴﻨﻨﻁﻠﻕ ﺍﻵﻥ ،ﻴﺎ ﺭﻴﺢ ﻓﻠﺘﻜﻥ ﻤـﺴﺘﻌﺩﺍ ﻨﺤـﻥ ﻨﻤﺘﻁـﻲ ﺤﺼﺎﻨ ﹰﺎ ﺤﺭﹶﺍ ﻭﺍﻤﺭﺃﺘﻲ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ﺘﻤﺴﻙ ﺒﻲ ﻭﻫﻲ ﻤﻨﻲ ،ﻴﺎ ﺭﻴﺢ ﺇﻤـﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻌﻠﻥ ﻫﺯﻴﻤﺘﻙ ﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﻨﺒﺩﺃ ﺍﻝﺴﺒﺎﻕ ،ﺃﻭ ﺘﺒﺩﺃ ﻤﻌﻲ ﻭﺴﺄﻋﻠﻥ ﺨﺴﺎﺭﺘﻙ" ﺨﻼل ﻜﻼﻤﻲ ﻭﺒﺼﻭﺕ ﻤﺭﺘﻔﻊ ﺍﺴﺘﺩﺭﺕ ﻝﻠﺨﻠﻑ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻭﻫـﻲ ﺘﻀﺤﻙ ،ﺍﻷﺸﻜﺎل ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺭﺴﻡ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﺠﻨﺘﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺘﺠﻤﻠﻬﺎ ،ﺘﻀﻔﻲ ﻋﻠﻴﻬـﺎ ﺒﺭﺍﺀﺓ ﻭﺴﺤﺭﺍ ،ﺍﻝﺴﻬل ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻨﺎ ﻤﻤﺘﺩ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻁـﺭﺍﻑ ﺍﻝﺠﺒـﺎل ﻤﻠـﻲﺀ ﺒﺎﻝﺯﻫﻭﺭ ﻭﺍﻷﻋﺸﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﺨﻀﺭﺍﺀ ،ﺼﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﺤﺼﺎﻥ ﻴﻌﺩﻭ ﺒﺒﻁﺀ ،ﻨﻜﺎﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻨﺴﻘﻁ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺯﺍﺩ ﻤﻥ ﺴﺭﻋﺘﻪ ﺸﻴﺌﹰﺎ ﻓﺸﻴﺌﹰﺎ ﻭﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﺃﺴﺭﻉ ﺃﺤﺴﺴﻨﺎ ﺒﺎﻷﻤﺎﻥ ﻓﻭﻗﻪ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ،ﻴﺴﺭﻉ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻥ ﻨﺴﻴﻡ ﺍﻝﻬﻭﺍﺀ ﻴﻌﻴﻕ ﻨﻅﺭﻨﺎ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺍﻷﻤـﺎﻡ ﺒﺼﻭﺭﺓ ﻁﺒﻴﻌﻴﺔ ،ﻗﻭﺓ ﺇﻝﻬﻴﻪ ﺘﺜﺒﺘﻨﺎ ﻓﻭﻗﻪ ،ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺃﻱ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻨﻤﺴﻙ ﺒﻪ ﻋﺩﺍ ﺸﻌﺭﻩ ﻭﻋﺩﻭﻩ ﺍﻝﻤﺒﺎﻝﻎ ﻓﻴﻪ ،ﻴﻭﺤﻲ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺒﺎﻝﺨﻭﻑ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻝـﺸﻲﺀ ﻭﺜﺒﻭﺘﻨﺎ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻴﻌﻁﻴﻨﺎ ﺸﻌﻭﺭ ﺒﺎﻝﻌﺯﺓ ﻭﺸﻲﺀ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﺍﺤـﺔ ﻜﺄﻨﻨـﺎ ﻓـﻲ ﻋﺭﺒﺔ ،ﻫﻴﻬﺎﺕ ...ﺃﻤﻥ ﻴﺭﻜﺏ ﻋﺭﺒﺔ ﺤﺩﻴﺜﺔ ﻴﺤﺱ ﺒﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻝﺸﻌﻭﺭ ﻤﺜﻠﻨﺎ ﻭﻨﺤﻥ ﻓﻭﻕ ﺤﺼﺎﻥ ﻗﻭﻱ ﻴﻌﺩﻭ ﻤﺨﻠﻔﺎ ﻜل ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻭﺭﺍﺀﻩ ﻭﻨﺤﻥ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻷﻤﺭﺍﺀ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺼﻬﻭﺘﻪ.
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ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻌﺩﻭ ﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﻤﺘﺠﻬﺎ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺍﻷﻤﺎﻡ ﺃﺸﺩ ﺒﻭﺠﻬﻲ ﻨﺤـﻭ ﺍﻷﺴـﻔل ﻭﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺔ ﺍﻝﻴﺴﺭﻯ ،ﺴﺄﻝﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺒﺼﻭﺕ ﻤﺭﺘﻔﻊ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﺴﻤﻌﻨﻲ. "ﻗﻭﻝﻲ ﻝﻲ! ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﺸﻌﺭﻴﻥ ﺍﻵﻥ؟" "ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺴﺄﻁﻴﺭ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﻘﻴﻨﺎ ﻨﻌﺩﻭ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ،ﺃﺤـﺱ ﺒـﻪ ﻴﺤﻠﻕ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺍﻷﻋﻠﻰ ...ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﻤﺎﻨﻊ ﺃﻥ ﻨﻁﻴﺭ ﺴﻭﻴﺎ ﻭﻨﺴﺒﺢ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻐﻴﻭﻡ" "ﺃﻨﻅﺭﻱ ،ﺃﺘﺭﻴﻥ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻷﺭﻨﺏ؟ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻴﻌﺩﻭ ﻤﻌﻨﺎ" "ﻨﻌﻡ ﻭﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺴﻨﺠﺎﺏ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ،ﺃﺘﺭﻯ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻜﻠﺏ؟ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻴﻌـﺩﻭ ﺒـﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﺘﺠﺎﻫﻨﺎ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﺴﺎﻓﺔ ﺒﻌﻴﺩﺓ ،ﻴﺎ ﻝﻠﺩﻫﺸﺔ ...ﻫل ﻋﻠﻤﺕ ﺠﻤﻴـﻊ ﺤﻴﻭﺍﻨﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ﺒﻨﺎ ﻨﻌﺩﻭ ﻓﺨﺭﺠﻭﺍ ﻴﺘﺴﺎﺒﻘﻭﻥ ﻤﻌﻨﺎ ...ﻴﺸﺎﺭﻜﻭﻨﺎ ﻴﻭﻤﻨﺎ، ﺃﺸﻙ ﺒﺄﻨﻪ ﻫﻭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﺘﻔﻕ ﻤﻊ ﺤﻴﻭﺍﻨﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ﻜﻲ ﻴﻨﺎﻓﺴﻭﻨﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﺒﺎﻕ، ﻴﺒﺩﻭ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻫﻭ ﻗﺎﺌﺩ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺠﻤﺎﻋﺔ ،ﺃﻝﻴﺱ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﻴﺎ ﻋﺎﺼﻑ؟" "ﻤﻥ ﻫﻭ ﻋﺎﺼﻑ ﻫﺫﺍ؟" "ﻻ ﺘﻘﻠﻘﻲ ﺍﻨﻪ ﻝﻴﺱ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﻫﻭ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺤﺼﺎﻥ ﺍﺒﺘـﺩﺍﺀﹰﺍ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ،ﻫﻭ ﻋﺎﺼﻑ ،ﻷﻨﻪ ﻓﻌﻼ ﻴﻌﺼﻑ ﺒﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﺤﻭﻝﻪ ﺒﺴﺭﻋﺔ"
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ﻭﻀﻌﺕ ﻴﺩﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺭﺃﺴﻪ ﺃﻻﻤﺴﻪ ﺒﻘﻭﺓ ،ﺼﺎﺭ ﻴﺼﻬل ﺒﺼﻭﺘﻪ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﺩ ﻓﺨﻭﺭﺍ ،ﻤﻌﺘﺯﺍ ...ﻋﻠﻡ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻤﻥ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻠﺤﻅﺔ ﻋﺎﺼﻑ. "ﻫﻴﺎ ﻴﺎ ﻋﺎﺼﻑ ،ﻫﻴﺎ"... ﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﺃﻤﺴﻜﺕ ﺒﺸﻌﺭﻩ ﻴﺯﻴﺩ ﻤﻥ ﺴﺭﻋﺘﻪ ،ﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﻨﺎﺩﻴﺘﻪ ﻋﺎﺼﻔﺎ ﻴﺸﺘﻁ، ﻴﻤﺤﻭ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﺨﻠﻔﻪ ،ﻴﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺜﺒﺕ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻓﻌﻼ ﻋﺎﺼﻑ ...ﺴﻤﻴﺘﻤﻭﻨﻲ ﺒﻬﺫﺍ ﺍﻻﺴﻡ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻫﻼ ﻷﻋﺼﻑ ...ﺃﺨﻠﻑ ...ﺃﺘﺭﻙ ﺍﻝﺭﻴﺢ ﻭﺼـﻔﻴﺭﻫﺎ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ. "ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﻭﻗﻔﻪ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﺴﺄﺘﺭﻜﻪ ﻴﻌﺩﻭ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﻘﻑ ﻭﺤﺩﻩ ،ﻝﻨﺭﻯ ﺃﻴﻥ ﺴﻴﻨﻬﻲ ﺒﻨﺎ ﻋﺎﺼﻑ ﺍﻝﺭﺤﻠﺔ ،ﻴﺄﺨﺫﻨﺎ ﺤﻴﺙ ﺸﺎﺀ ،ﺤﻴﺙ ﻻ ﻨﻌﻠﻡ ،ﻋﻠﻨـﺎ ﻨﺭﻯ ﺃﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻝﻡ ﻨﺭﻫﺎ ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﺠﺒﺎل ﻭﺴﻬﻭل ﻝﻡ ﻨﻌﺭﻓﻬﺎ ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﻏﺎﺒﺎﺕ ﻝـﻡ ﻨﺩﺨﻠﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻴﺄﺨﺫﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﻘﻭل ﺍﻝﺨﻴﻭل ﺍﻝﺒﺭﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻝﻡ ﻨﺸﺎﻫﺩﻫﺎ ،ﺃﺘﺭﻴﻥ ﻤﺎ ﺃﺭﻯ؟ ﺃﻨﻅﺭﻱ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ...ﺇﻝﻰ ﺒﻌﻴﺩ ،ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺴﻔﺢ ...ﻁﻭﺍﺤﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻬﻭﺍﺀ ،ﻗﺩ ﺴﻤﻌﺕ ﺃﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻁﻭﺍﺤﻴﻥ ﻫﻭﺍﺀ ﻓﻲ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺠﺒﺎل ،ﻫـل ﻫـﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺘـﻲ ﺴﻤﻌﺕ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ؟" "ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺸﺎﻫﺩﻫﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻗﺒل ،ﺴﻨﺭﻯ! ﻫل ﺴﻴﺫﻫﺏ ﻋﺎﺼﻑﹲ ﺒﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ؟ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺼﻌﻭﺩ ﺍﻝﺠﺒل ﺸﺎﻗﺎ ،ﻓﻬﻭ ﻤﻨﺴﺎﺏ ﻝﻠﻐﺎﻴﺔ ﻝﺩﺭﺠﺔ ﺃﻥ ﺼﻌﻭﺩﻩ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻤﻼﺤﻅﺎ ،ﺍﻝﺴﻬﻭل ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺒﺴﻁﺔ ﺘﺄﺨﺫﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﺭﺘﻔﻊ 97
ﻓﻲ ﻨﻬﺎﻴﺘﻪ ﺘﺸﻜل ﺠﺒل ﻭﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺍﻝﻬﺎﻭﻴﺔ ،ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻴﻨﻅﺭ ﺃﺤﺩ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﺴـﻔل ﻴﺼﺎﺏ ﺒﺩﻭﺍﺭ ﻷﻭل ﻭﻫﻠﺔ ،ﺍﺭﺘﻔﺎﻉ ﺍﻝﺠﺒل ﺸﺎﻫﻕﹲ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻷﺸـﻴﺎﺀ، ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﻭﺍﻝﺤﻘﻭل ﺘﺒﺩﻭ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﺠﺩﺍ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﺴﻔل.
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻭل ﻁﺎﺤﻭﻨﺔ ﻫﻭﺍﺀ ،ﺸﻜﻠﻬﺎ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻜﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺎ ﻨﻌﺘﻘﺩ ،ﺒﻨﺎﺅﻫﺎ ﺩﺍﺌﺭﻱ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺠﺎﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﻴﻤﺔ ،ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺍﺭﺘﻔـﺎﻉ ﻫﺎﺌـل ﺤـﺴﺏ ﺘﺼﻭﺭﻱ ،ﻴﺒﺩﻭ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﻡ ﻭﺍﻝﺠﻤﺎل ﻓﻲ ﺁﻥ ﻭﺍﺤﺩ ،ﺼﺎﺭ ﻴﺩﻭﺭ ﺒﻨـﺎ ﻋﺎﺼﻑ ﺤﻭﻝﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻬﺎ ﺜﻼﺜﺔ ﺸﺒﺎﺒﻴﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﺒﺎﺏ ﺨﺸﺒﻲ ﻜﺒﻴﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺔ ﺍﻝﺨﻠﻔﻴﺔ ،ﺍﺘﺠﻪ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺍﻝﻁﺎﺤﻭﻨﺔ ﺍﻷﺨﺭﻯ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺒﻌﺩ ﺒﺄﻗـل ﻤـﻥ ﺨﻤﺴﻤﺎﺌﺔ ﻤﺘﺭ ،ﻫﻲ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺠﺭ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﻴﻡ ،ﻴﺒﺩﻭ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﻤـﻥ ﻝـﻭﻥ ﺤﺠﺎﺭﺘﻬﺎ ﻋﺩﻡ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﻡ ،ﻴﺭﻯ ﻤﻥ ﺤﺠﺎﺭﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺨﺸﺎﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﺸﻜل ﺸـﺒﺎﺒﻴﻜﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺘﺩﻴﺭﺓ ﺍﻷﻜﺜﺭ ﻋﺩﺩﺍ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻷﻭﻝﻰ ،ﻤﻥ ﺍﻷﺴﻔل ﻨﺎﻓﺫﺘﻴﻥ ﺩﺍﺌـﺭﻴﺘﻴﻥ، ﻭﻤﻥ ﺍﻷﻋﻠﻰ ﺜﻼﺜﺔ ،ﺍﺘﺠﻬﻨﺎ ﺒﻌﺩﻫﺎ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺍﻝﻁﺎﺤﻭﻨﺔ ﺍﻝﺜﺎﻝﺜﺔ ،ﻭﺘﺒﻌﺩ ﺒﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﻓﺔ ﺘﻘﺭﻴﺒﺎ ،ﺤﺠﻤﻬﺎ ﺃﻜﺒﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻻﺜﻨﺘﻴﻥ ﺍﻷﺨﺭ ،ﻝﻬﺎ ﻨﻔـﺱ ﺸـﻜل ﺍﻝﻭﺴﻁﻰ ﻭﺘﻘﺭﺏ ﻤﻥ ﺤﺎﻓﺔ ﺍﻝﺠﺒل ،ﺃﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺸﻜل ﺍﻝﺨﺎﺭﺠﻲ ﺘﻘﺭﻴﺒﺎ ﻨﻔﺴﻪ، ﻤﻥ ﺍﻷﺴﻔل ﻤﺘﺴﻌﺔ ﺩﺍﺌﺭﻴﺔ ،ﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﺍﺭﺘﻔﻌﺕ ﻀﺎﻗﺕ ﻭﻜل ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺍﻭﺡ ﺒﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻻﺘﺠﺎﻩ ،ﻤﻨﻅﺭ ﺨﻼﺏ ،ﻜﺄﻨﻪ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻌﺼﻭﺭ ﺍﻝﻭﺴﻁﻰ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻝﻡ ﻨﻌﺭﻓﻬﺎ، ﺴﻤﻌﻨﺎ ﻭﻗﺭﺃﻨﺎ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼل ﺍﻝﻘﺼﺹ ﺍﻹﻨﺠﻠﻴﺯﻴﺔ ﺒﻌﻴﺩﺓ ﻜل ﺍﻝﺒﻌـﺩ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﺍﺜﺔ. ﻨﻌﻴﺵ ﺇﺤﺩﻯ ﺭﻭﺍﻴﺎﺕ ﺸﻜﺴﺒﻴﺭ ،ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻘﺭﻯ ﺍﻝﺴﻜـﺴﻭﻨﻴﺔ ،ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﺒﺴﺎﻁ ﺃﺨﻀﺭ ،ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﺘﺤﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﺒﺜﻤﺎﺭﻫﺎ ﺤﻭﻝﻨﺎ ،ﻏﻴﺭ ﺃﻥ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ 100
ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﺍﺴﻜﺘﻠﻨﺩﻴﺔ ،ﻓﻬﻲ ﻤﻥ ﻗﺭﻴﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﺴﺭ ﺠﻤﺎﻝﻬﺎ ﺃﺸﻌﺔ ﺍﻝﺸﻤﺱ ،ﺒﺯﻭﻍ ﺍﻝﻔﺠﺭ ﻭﺜﻤﺎﺭ ﺤﻘﻭﻝﻨﺎ. ﻭﺍﺼل ﻋﺎﺼﻑ ﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺤﺩﺭ ﻴﺴﺎﺭﺍ ﺘﺠﺎﻩ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ...ﻴﺴﺭﻉ ،ﻴﻌﺩﻭ ﻑ ﻴﻌﻠﻤﻪ ،ﺃﺨﺫ ﻗﺴﻁﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﺍﺤـﺔ ﺃﺜﻨـﺎﺀ ﻜﺎﻝﺒﺭﻕ ﻜﺄﻨﻪ ﻤﺘﺠﻪ ﻨﺤﻭ ﻫﺩ ﺘﻤﻌﻨﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻁﻭﺍﺤﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻬﻭﺍﺀ ﺨﺭﺍﻓﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﺼﻤﻴﻡ. "ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺇﻨﻪ ﻴﺘﺠﻪ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ،ﺃﻭﻗﻔﻪ ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﺨﺎﻑ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺴﻘﻭﻁ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺩﺨل ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﺘﺭﻜﻪ ﺤﻴﺙ ﺸﺎﺀ ﻤﺎﺩﺍﻡ ﻴﻌﺩﻭ ﺒﻨﺎ ﺒﺄﻤﺎﻥ ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺃﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺨﻁﺭ ﻓﺴﺄﻭﻗﻔﻪ" ﺘﺭﻜﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺤﺩﺭ ﻭﺩﺨﻠﻨﺎ ﻁﺭﻴﻘ ﹰﺎ ﺘﺭﺍﺒﻴ ﹰﺎ ﻀﻴﻘ ﹰﺎ ﻭﻋﻠﻰ ﺠﺎﻨﺒﻪ ﺍﻷﻴـﺴﺭ ﺴﻬﻼ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﻔﺭﻗﺔ ،ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻴﻤﻴﻥ ﻤﺒﺎﺸـﺭﺓ ﺃﺸـﺠﺎﺭ ﻤﺘﺭﺍﺼﺔ ،ﻴﺭﻯ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼﻝﻬﺎ ﻭﻤﻥ ﺒﻴﻨﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺴﻬل ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺤﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺎﺒﻠﺔ ﺫﻭ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﻌﺔ ﺍﻝﺨﻼﺒﺔ ﻭﺘﻀﺎﺭﻴﺱ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﺘﺒﺩﻭ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺒﻜل ﻤﺭﺓ ﺒﺼﻭﺭﺓ ﺒﺩﻴﻌﺔ ﻤﺨﺘﻠﻔﺔ. ﻜﺜﺎﻓﺔ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺭﺍﺼﺔ ﺍﻝﻭﺍﻀﺤﺔ ﻋﻥ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻤﺜل ﻗﻠﻌﺔ ﺫﺍﺕ ﺃﺴﻭﺍﺭ ﻤﺭﺘﻔﻌﺔ ﻤﺜل ﻗﻠﻌﺔ ﺼﻠﻴﺒﻴﺔ ،ﺍﺭﺘﻔﺎﻋﻬﺎ ﻜﻠﻪ ﻤﺘﺴﺎﻭﻱ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺘﻔـﺎﻭﺕ 101
ﻜﺒﻴﺭ .ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﻨﺎ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺒﺩﺕ ﺒﺎﺭﺘﻔﺎﻋﺎﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﺨﺘﻠﻔﺔ ،ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﻤﺘﺭﺍﺼﺔ ﻤﺜﻠﻤﺎ ﻴﺒﺩﻭ ،ﻓﺎﻝﺒﻌﺩ ﻭﺍﻝﺒﺼﺭ ﻴﻀﻌﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﻘﻴﻘﺔ ﺒﻤﻴﺯﺍﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﺴﺒﻴﺔ. ﻭﻗﻑ ﺍﻝﺤﺼﺎﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﺩﺨل ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ،ﺴﺎﺭ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻓﻬﺎ ﻜﺄﻨﻪ ﻴﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻥ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻤﺎ ،ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻋﺩﺓ ﻤﺩﺍﺨل ﻝﻠﻐﺎﺒﺔ ﺒﺜﻨﺎﻴﺎ ﻀﻴﻘﺔ ،ﻭﺍﺼل ﺴـﻴﺭﻩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﺭﺠﻲ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﺜﺎﺭ ﻓﻀﻭﻝﻨﺎ ،ﻭﻗﻑ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﺩﺨل ﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﻀﻴﻕ ،ﻫﺯ ﺭﺃﺴﻪ ﻭﺼﻬل ﺒﺼﻭﺕ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻤﺭﺘﻔﻊ ،ﺩﺨل ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴـﻕ ﺍﻝﻀﻴﻕ. "ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﻓﻠﻨﻌﻭﺩ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺩﺨل" "ﻻ ﺘﺨﺎﻓﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺨﺎﻓﻙ ﻓﺠﺄﺓ؟" "ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ﻭﻨﺤﻥ ﻻ ﻨﻌﺭﻑ ﻤﺩﺍﺨﻠﻬﺎ ﻗـﺩ ﻨﺘـﻭﻩ ﻓـﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻬـﺎ ﻭﺍﻷﻋﺸﺎﺏ ﻋﺎﻝﻴﺔ ﻭﻤﺘﺸﺎﺒﻜﺔ ،ﺃﻨﻅﺭ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﻨـﺎﻙ ،ﺃﻻ ﺘـﺭﻯ ﺠﺩﻭل ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺼﻐﻴﺭ ﻭﺍﻝﻘﻨﻁﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﺨﺸﺒﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﻘﻭﺴﻴﺔ؟" ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﻝﻲ ﺒﺎﻨﺒﻬﺎﺭ ﻭﺘﻌﺠﺏ. "ﺠﺩﻭل! ﻗﻨﻁﺭﺓ! ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺸﻲﺀ" "ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﻤﺎﻡ ،ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺔ ﺍﻝﻴﺴﺭﻯ ،ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ...ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ،ﺃﻻ ﺘـﺭﻯ ﺍﻝﺨﺸﺏ ﺍﻝﺒﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺨﻀﺭﺓ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﻭﺍﻷﻋﺸﺎﺏ؟ ﻤﺎ ﺃﺠﻤﻠﻪ ،ﺇﻨـﻲ 102
ﺃﺴﻤﻊ ﺼﻭﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺴﺎﺏ ﻴﺭﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺫﻨﻲ ﻤﺜل ﺼﻭﺕ ﻓﻴﺭﻭﺯ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﺼﺒﺎﺡ" ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺃﻗﺼﺩ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﺍﻋﺒﺔ ﺒﻌﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺒﺈﻋﺠﺎﺒﻬﺎ ﺒﺠﻤﺎل ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒـﺔ: "ﺒﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺘﺭﻴﺩﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺨﺭﻭﺝ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﻌﺘـﺎﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻝﺒـﻲ ﻁﻠﺒﻙ ،ﺇﺫﺍ ﻫﻴﺎ ﺒﻨﺎ ﻨﺨﺭﺝ ﻤﻥ ﻫﻨﺎ ،ﺃﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺭﺃﻴﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﻭﺩﺓ؟" "ﻻ ...ﻻ ﻓﺎﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﺒﺩﻴﻊ ﻴﻭﺤﻲ ﺒﺎﻝﻁﻤﺄﻨﻴﻨﺔ ،ﺩﻋﻨﺎ ﻨﻜﻤل ﺍﻝﺭﺤﻠﺔ" ﺍﺘﺠﻬﻨﺎ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺠﺩﻭل ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻀﻴﻕ ،ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ﻤﻨﺒـﺴﻁﺔ ﻜﻤـﺎ ﺘﻭﻗﻌﻨﺎ ،ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﻤﻨﺤﺩﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻋﻠﻰ ﻝﻴﺱ ﺒﺎﺭﺘﻔﺎﻉ ﺸﺎﻫﻕ ﻗﺩ ﻻ ﻴﺘﺠـﺎﻭﺯ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺭ ﻭﻨﺼﻑ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺭ ،ﻜﺄﻨﻪ ﻨﺒﻊ ﻤﺎﺀ ...ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﻋﺫﺏ ،ﺸﻔﺎﻑ ﻤﺜل ﻭﺠﻪ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺼﺒﺎﺡ ...ﺸﻜل ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﻴﺜﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﺸﻬﻴﺔ ﻝﻠﺸﺭﺏ ﻤﻨﻪ ،ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜـﻥ ﻋﻤﻴﻘﺎ ،ﻻ ﻴﺘﺠﺎﻭﺯ ﺍﻝﺴﺒﻌﻴﻥ ﺴﻨﺘﻲ ﻤﺘﺭ ﺤﺴﺏ ﺍﻝﺘﻘﺭﻴـﺏ .ﻓـﻲ ﺃﺭﺽ ﺍﻝﺠﺩﻭل ﺤﺠﺎﺭﺓ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﺼﺨﺭﻴﺔ ﺒﺄﻝﻭﺍﻥ ﻋﺩﻴﺩﺓ ،ﻭﺍﻝﻘﻨﻁﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﻘﻭﺴﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﺼﻨﻭﻋﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺨﺸﺎﺏ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﻐﻴﺭ ﻤﺼﻨﻌﺔ. ﻭﻗﻑ ﺍﻝﺤﺼﺎﻥ ﻤﻥ ﻏﻴﺭ ﺃﻥ ﻨﻭﻗﻔﻪ ،ﻨﺯﻝﻨﺎ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ،ﺸﺭﺒﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻤﻴـﺎﻩ ﺍﻝﺠﺩﻭل ﺍﻝﻌﺫﺏ. "ﺃﻻ ﺘﺭﻴﺩﻱ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺸﺭﺒﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ؟" 103
"ﺒﻠﻰ ...ﺒﻠﻰ ،ﻓﺼﻔﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﺭﺝ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻋﻤﺎﻕ ﺍﻝﺼﺨﻭﺭ ﻴـﺸﺩﻨﻲ ﻝﺘﺫﻭﻗﻪ ﻭﺇﻥ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻜﻥ ﻋﻁﺸﻪ" ﻱ ...ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﻲ ﻤﻨﻲ" ﺩﻨﺕ ﺤـﺫﺭﺓ ﺘﻤـﺸﻲ "ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﻲ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﺴﻘﻴﻙ ﺒﻴﺩﺍ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺭﺅﻭﺱ ﺃﻗﺩﺍﻤﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻤﺴﻙ ﺒﻴﺩﻫﺎ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺠﺎﻝﺱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﻓﺔ ،ﺭﻓﻌـﺕ ﺒﺜﻭﺒﻬﺎ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ﻭﺸﻌﺎﻉ ﺍﻝﺸﻤﺱ ﺍﻝﺩﺍﺨل ﻤﻥ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﻴﺄﺨﺫ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﺃﻝﻭﺍﻨﻪ ﻭﻴﻠﺘﻑ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﺭﺁﺓ ﺴﺎﻗﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺠﻠﺴﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻗـﺩﻤﻴﻬﺎ ﻤـﻥ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻠﻤﺱ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻓﻬﺎ ،ﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﻏﺭﻑ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﺒﺤﻔﻨﺔ ﻴـﺩﻱ ﺍﻝﻴﻤﻨـﻰ ﻭﺸﻤﺎﻝﻲ ﻴﻤﺴﻙ ﺒﻬﺎ. "ﻫﻴﺎ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ...ﺨﺫﻱ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺃﻭﻻ ﻓﻠﻥ ﺘﺭﻭﻴﻥ ﻤﻥ ﻤﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﺤﺩﺓ ،ﻓﻴﺩﺍﻱ ﻻ ﻴﻤﻜﻨﻬﻤﺎ ﺤﻤل ﺍﻝﻜﺜﻴﺭ ،ﻝﻜﻨﻲ ﺴﺄﻋﻁﻴﻙ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﺭﺘﻭﻴﻥ" ﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﺃﻋﻁﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﺎﺀ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻜﺘﻔﺕ. "ﺍﻵﻥ ﺴﺄﺸﺭﺏ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﻝﺩ ﺒﺎﻝﺠﺒﺎل ،ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺸﺭﺒﻭﻩ ﺭﺠﺎل ﻤﻥ ﻗﺒﻠﻲ ﻤﺎﺘﻭﺍ ﻭﻗﻠﺒﻭﻫﻡ ﻤﻌﻘﻭﺩﺓ ﺒﻭﺠﻪ ﻝﻡ ﻴﺘﺭﻜـﻭﻩ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﺘـﺭﻜﺘﻬﻡ ﺃﺭﻭﺍﺤﻬﻡ ﻭﻏﺎﺩﺭﺕ ﺃﺠﺴﺎﺩﻫﻡ" ﺠﻠﺴﻨﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺤﺎﻓﺔ ﺍﻝﺠﺩﻭل ،ﺃﻗﺒل ﺍﻝﺤﺼﺎﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻤـﺎﺀ ،ﺍﻨﺘﻅﺭﻨـﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺸﺭﺒﻨﺎ ،ﺒﺩﺃ ﻴﺸﺭﺏ ﺤﺴﺏ ﻁﺭﻴﻘﺘﻪ ﻭﺃﻁﺎل ،ﺭﺠﻊ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺍﻝﺨﻠـﻑ ﺒﻌﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﻜﻤل ،ﺼﺎﺭ ﻴﻨﺘﻘﻲ ...ﻴﻠﻬﻡ ﺍﻷﻋﺸﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﺭﻁﺒﺔ ﺒﺭﻁﻭﺒﺔ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ. 104
"ﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ؟ ﻫل ﻴﺠﺏ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺘﻌﻠﻡ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﻜﺔ؟" "ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ؟ ﻫل ﺘﻌﺘﻘﺩﻴﻥ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﻔﺭﻭﺽ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺃﻱ ﺃﻡ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺤﻴـﻙ ﻷﻁﻔﺎﻝﻬﺎ؟ ﻤﺎ ﺃﺭﻭﻋﻙ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﺼﺭﺘﻲ ﺃﻤﺎ ﻷﻁﻔﺎل ﻓﻲ ﻴﻭﻡ ﻭﻝﻴﻠﺔ؟" "ﺃﺘﺴﺨﺭ ﻤﻨﻲ؟" "ﻻ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻓﻠﻴﺴﺨﺭ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻡ ﻜﻠﻪ ﻤﻨﻲ ﺇﻥ ﺴﺨﺭﺕ ﻤﻨﻙ ﻝﺤﻅﺔ ،ﺇﻨﻤـﺎ ﺃﺘﺼﻭﺭﻙ ﺒﻌﺸﺭﺓ ﺃﻁﻔﺎل ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﺠﻠﺴﻴﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺁﻝﺔ ﺍﻝﺨﻴﺎﻁـﺔ ،ﺘﻠﺒـﺴﻴﻥ ﻨﻅﺎﺭﺓ ﻁﺒﻴﺔ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ﻋﺭﻴﻀﺔ ،ﺤﻭﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺼﻐﺎﺭ ،ﻭﺍﺤﺩ ﻴﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺄﻜـل، ﻭﺍﻵﺨﺭ ﻴﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻠﺒﺱ ،ﻭﺍﻷﺨﺭ ﻴﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺤﻴﻜﻲ ﻝﻪ ﻗﻔـﺎﺯﹰﺍ ،ﻭﺃﻨـﺕ ﺒﻬﺩﻭﺌﻙ ﺘﻨﻅﺭﻴﻥ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺁﻝﺔ ﺍﻝﺨﻴﺎﻁﺔ ،ﺘﺘﺎﺒﻌﻴﻥ ﻋﻤﻠﻙ ﻜﺄﻨﻙ ﻭﺤﺩﻙ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﻐﺭﻓﺔ ﻭﻻ ﺘﺭﻱ ﺃﻭ ﺘﺴﻤﻌﻲ ﺸﻴﺌﹰﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺤﻭﻝﻙ" "ﻻ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﺤﻠﻡ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﻨﺠﺏ ﻁﻔـﻼ ﻭﺍﺤـﺩﺍ ﻭﺍﻝﺒﻘﻴـﺔ ﺃﻨـﺕ ﺴﺘﻨﺠﺒﻬﻡ ،ﺇﻥ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ!" ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻤﻠﻘﺎﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻅﻬﺭﻫﺎ ﻤﺒﺘﺴﻤﺔ ،ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ،ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻬﺎ" :ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻭﻝﻤـﺎ ﻻ؟ ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ،ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﻨﺠﺏ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻭﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﻨﺕ ،ﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﻙ؟"
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"ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ،ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﻨﺠﺏ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻭﺘﺴﻌﺔ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﻙ ﺤﺒﻴﺒـﻲ؟ ﺃﻝﻴﺱ ﻫﺫﺍ ﻋﺩﻻ؟ ﻓﺄﻨﺕ ﺭﺠلٌ ﻭﺍﻝﺭﺠﺎل ﻫﻡ ﺍﻷﻜﺜﺭ ﺘﺤﻤﻼ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﺴﺎﺀ، ﺃﻭﻝﻴﺱ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺼﺤﻴﺤﺎ؟" "ﻫﻡ ﻗﺎﻝﻭﺍ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ؟ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻤﻥ ﻗﺎﺌﻠﻬﺎ ﺭﺠﻼ ﺃﻡ ﺍﻤـﺭﺃﺓ، ﻭﻝﻜﻨﻲ ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻗﺎﺌل ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﻭﻝﺔ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻭﻻ ﻴﻤﻜﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺭﺠـﻼ، ﻗﺎﻝﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺨﺩﻋﺕ ﺯﻭﺠﻬﺎ ﻜﻲ ﻴﻠﺒﻲ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺠﻤﻴـﻊ ﺃﻋﻤـﺎل ﺍﻝﻤﻨـﺯل، ﺒﺎﻝﺘﺄﻜﻴﺩ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻤﻐﻔﻼ ﻭﺃﻗﺘﻨﻊ ﺒﺄﻨﻪ ﺃﺸﺩ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ!" "ﺃﺘﻌﻠﻡ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﻝﻲ ﺃﻤﻲ ﻴﻭﻤﺎ؟" "ﺃﺘﻭﻗﻊ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﻗﻭﻝﻲ ﻝﺯﻭﺠﻙ ﺒﺄﻨﻪ ﻭﺴﻴﻡ ﺠـﺩﺍ ﻭﺃﻨﻴـﻕ، ﻭﺴﻬل ﺍﻝﻤﻌﺎﻤﻠﺔ ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﺤﺒﻴﻪ ﺒﺸﺩﺓ ﻭﺍﻁﻠﺒﻲ ﻤﻨﻪ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻌﺩ ﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻌﺸﺎﺀ... ﺃﻝﻡ ﺘﻘل ﻝﻙ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ؟" ﻗﺎل ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺒﺄﺴﻠﻭﺒﻪ ﺍﻝﺘﻬﻜﻤﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺡ. ﻀﺤﻜﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺒﺼﻭﺕ ﻤﺭﺘﻔﻊ. "ﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﻋﺘﺒﺭ ﻜﻼﻤﻙ ﻨﺼﻴﺤﺔ ﻝﻲ ﻭﺴﺄﻋﻤل ﺒﻬﺎ ﺒﻨﺎﺀ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺭﻏﺒﺘﻙ" "ﻻ ﺇﻨﻬﺎ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﺭﻏﺒﺘﻲ ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﻤﻘﻭﻝﺔ ﺃﻤﻙ ،ﻫل ﺃﺨﺒﺭﺘﻙ ﺒﻤﺎ ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﻝﻲ ﺃﻤﻲ؟"
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"ﺍﺴﻤﻌﻨﻲ ﻴﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻤﻠﻙ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ،ﻓﻘﺩ ﻜﻨﺎ ﻨﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﻋﻥ ﺸﺩﺓ ﺍﻝﺭﺠﺎل ،ﺃﻭﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻨﺎ؟" "ﺒﻠﻰ ...ﺃﺸﺠﻴﻨﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺒﺎﻝﺫﻱ ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺃﻤﻙ" "ﻴﺒﻘﻰ ﺍﻝﺭﺠل ﺃﺸﺩ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻱ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﺤﻤل ﻭﺘﻠﺩ ،ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﻝﻲ ﺃﻤﻲ ،ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻝﻭ ﻋﺭﻑ ﺍﻝﺭﺠل ﻤﻌﺎﻨﺎﺓ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻭﻻﺩﺓ ،ﻝﺤﻤل ﺭﺍﻴﺔ ﻴﻨﺎﺩﻱ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺴﻴﺩﺓ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻡ ،ﻭﺭﺴﺦ ﻜل ﻗﻭﺍﻩ ﻹﻗﻨـﺎﻋﻬﻡ ﺒﺄﻨﻲ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻭﺃﻤﻲ ﺃﺴﻴﺎﺩﻩ" "ﻫﺎ ﻗﺩ ﻗﻠﺕ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻤﺎ ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﻝﻙ ﺃﻤﻙ! ﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻗﻭل ﻝﻙ ﻤـﺎ ﻗﺎل ﻝﻲ ﺃﺒﻲ؟" "ﻫﺎﺕ ﻤﺎ ﻋﻨﺩﻙ ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺁﺫﺍﻥ ﺼﺎﻏﻴﺔ" "ﺇﺫﺍ ﻤﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﺭﺠل ﻭﺍﻤﺭﺃﺘﻪ ﻻ ﺘﺯﺍل ﺠﺎﻨﺒﻪ ﻭﻝﻡ ﻴﺘﺭﻜﻬﺎ ﺒﻌـﺩ ﺯﻭﺍﺝ ﺨﻤﺴﻴﻥ ﻋﺎﻤﺎ ﻜﺘﺒﺕ ﻝﻪ ﺍﻝﺠﻨﺔ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺤﺴﺎﺏ ﺃﻭ ﻋﻘﺎﺏ ،ﻨﻌﻡ ...ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﻗﺎل ﻝﻲ ﻭﺍﻝﺩﻱ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﻋﻠﻡ ﻜﻴﻑ ﻋﺎﺸﺕ ﺍﻝﺭﺠﺎل ﻤﻊ ﻨﺴﺎﺌﻬﻡ ﻓـﻲ ﺫﻝـﻙ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ،ﺇﻻ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺃﺜﻕ ﺒﻜﻼﻡ ﺃﺒﻲ" "ﺃﺘﻌﻠﻡ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺃﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺘﺸﺎﺒﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻌﺎﻤل ﺒﺸﺨﺼﻙ ﻭﺸﺨـﺼﻲ؟ ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﺜﻕ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺒﻜﻼﻡ ﺃﻤﻲ ﺘﻤﺎﻤﺎ ﺜﻘﺘﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺒﻴﻙ" 107
ﺒﺎﺩﻝﺘﻨﻲ ﺫﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﻨﺸﻭﺓ ،ﺍﻨﺘﺎﺒﻨﺎ ﺴﻜﻭﺕ ﻝﻤﺩﺓ ﺜﻭﺍﻥ ،ﺒﻌـﺩﻫﺎ ﻀـﺤﻜﻨﺎ ﺴﻭﻴﺎ ﺒﺼﻭﺕ ﻤﺭﺘﻔﻊ ﻭﻁﺎﺭﺕ ﺃﺭﻭﺍﺤﻨﺎ ،ﺘﻌﺎﻨﻘﺕ ،ﻀﺤﻜﺎﺕ ﻨﺎﺒﻌﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻘﻠﺏ ﻤﺼﺩﺭﻫﺎ ﺘﻜﺎﻤﻠﻨﺎ ﻭﺍﻨﺴﺠﺎﻤﻨﺎ. "ﺃﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﺒﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺃﻓﻜﺭ ﺍﻵﻥ؟" ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. "ﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﻋﻁﻲ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻓﺘﺭﺓ ﺍﺴﺘﺭﺍﺤﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺘﻔﻜﻴﺭ ﻭﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻔﺼﺤﻲ ﻝﻲ ﻋﻤﺎ ﻴﺠﻭل ﻓﻲ ﺨﺎﻁﺭﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ" "ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﺴﻡ ﺍﺒﻨﺘﻨﺎ ﺩﺠﻠﺔ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺍﺕ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﺒﻨﺘـﻲ ﺍﻷﻭﻝﻰ ﺼﺎﺤﺒﺔ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻻﺴﻡ ﺍﻝﺨﺭﺍﻓﻲ" "ﺃﻤﻲ ﻭﺃﺒﻲ؟ ﻭﻝﻤﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ؟ ﻝﻘﺩ ﻗﺘﻠﻭﻫﻡ ،ﻋﻨـﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﻴﻨـﻊ ﻋﻤـﺭﻫﻡ ﺘﺭﻜﻭﻫﻡ ﺃﻫﻠﻬﻡ ﻭﺍﻝﺠﻴﺭﺍﻥ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺴﺘﻨﻘﻊ ﺍﻝﺤﻀﺎﺭﺍﺕ ...ﺍﻗﺘﺤﻤﻭﺍ ﺒﻴﺘﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻠﻴل ﻭﻨﺤﻥ ﻨﻴﺎﻡ ،ﺍﻏﺘﺼﺒﻭﺍ ﺃﻤﻲ ﻭﺃﺨﻭﺍﺘﻲ ﺍﻷﻁﻔـﺎل ﻭﻗﺘﻠـﻭﺍ ﺃﺒـﻲ ﻭﺠﺩﻱ ،ﺤﺘﻰ ﺤﻅﻴﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﻭﺍﻨﺎﺕ ﻫﺩﻤﻭﻫﺎ ،ﻓﻘﺩ ﺃﻓـﺯﻋﺘﻬﻡ ﺍﻝﻨﻌـﺎﺝ... ﺭﺤﻠﺕ ...ﻫﺭﺒﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﻡ ﻭﻓﻭﺠﺌﺕ ﺒﻨﺨﻴل ﺒﺴﺘﺎﻨﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺤﺩﻴﻘﺔ ﻤﻨﺯﻝﻬﻡ... ﺴﺭﻗﻭﻩ ...ﻓﺒﻜﻴﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺩﺠﻠﺔ ﻭﺍﻝﻔﺭﺍﺕ" "ﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﺤﺯﻨﻙ؟ ﻝﻘﺩ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺘﺸﻜﻲ ﺒﺎﻷﻤﺱ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺒﻴﻙ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﺼﻔﻌﻙ، ﻴﻌﺎﻗﺒﻙ ،ﻴﻤﻨﻌﻙ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﻭﻴﻬﺯﺌﻙ ...ﺃﻝﻡ ﻴﺒﻜﻴﻙ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺭﺩﺕ ﻤﺸﺎﺭﻜﺘﻪ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﻨﻭﺕ ﻭﺍﺴﺜﻨﻴﺘﻪ ﻭﺸﺩﺩﺕ ﻭﺯﺭﻙ ﺒﻌﻤﻙ؟" 108
"ﻝﻘﺩ ﺃﺤﺯﻨﻨﻲ ﻗﺘﻠﻪ ﻭﻗﺼﻡ ﻅﻬﺭﻱ ،ﻭﻝﻡ ﻴﺤﺯﻨﻲ ﻷﻨﻪ ﺃﺠﺒﺭﻨﻲ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺍﺒﻨﺔ ﻋﻤﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺓ ﺍﻷﻭﻝﻰ ...ﻝﻡ ﻴﺅﻝﻤﻨﻲ ﻜﻔﻪ ،ﻓﻘـﺩ ﺍﻨﺘـﺸﻠﻨﻲ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺘﻨﻘﻊ ﺒﻴﺩﻩ ﺫﺍﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻭﻋﻘﺎﺒﻪ ﻝﻲ ﻨﺤﺘﻨﻲ ﺭﺠﻼ ﻭﺍﻵﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﺩ ﺒﺴﺎﻋﺩﻱ ﻓﻭﻗﻔﺕ ﺭﺠﺎل ﺍﻝﻤﺩﻴﻨﺔ ﻜﻠﻬﺎ ﻝﻲ ﻭﺭﻋﺎ ﻭﺘﺒﺠﻴﻼ ...ﺃﺨﻁـﺄﺕ ...ﻭﻫـل ﺍﻝﻭﻝﺩ ﻻ ﻴﺨﺭﺝ ﻋﻥ ﻁﻭﻉ ﺃﺒﻴﻪ ﻭﻴﻌﺼﻲ؟ ﻝﻜﻨﻲ ﺃﺭﻜﻊ ﻷﺒـﻲ ﻭﺠـﺩﻱ ﻭﺃﺒﻭﺱ ﺜﺭﺍﻫﻡ ﻭﺃﻗﺩﻡ ﺍﻝﻁﻭﻉ ﻭﺃﻋﻲ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻜﻨﺕ ﻋﺯﻴﺯ ،ﻜﺭﻴﻡ ،ﻋـﺎﻝﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺎﻡ ﺒﻬﻡ ...ﻀﻌﻴﻑ ،ﺫﻝﻴل ،ﻏﺭﻴﺏ ﻷﻨﻬﻡ ﺫﻫﺒﻭﺍ ﻭﺘﺭﻜﻭﻨﻲ ،ﻝﻤـﺎﺫﺍ ﺃﺒﻲ ﻭﺃﻤﻲ" "ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ! ﻜﻲ ﻴﻜﻭﻨﻭﺍ ﺩﻭﻤﺎ ﻨﺼﺒﺎ ﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﺃﻋﻴﻨﻨﺎ؟ ﺃﻭ ﺭﻤﺯﺍ ﻝﻠﺒﻴـﺕ ﻭﺍﻝﻭﻁﻥ؟ ﻫﻡ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻤﻭﺘﻭﺍ ...ﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﺕ ﺃﺨﻁ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﻭﺭﺍﻕ ﺒﺤﺒـﺭﻫﻡ... ﺍﻏﺘﺎﻝﻭﻫﻡ ﻏﺩﺭﺍ ﻭﻤﺎ ﺠﻑ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺩﻤﺎﺌﻬﻡ ﻋﺒﻘﺎ ﻭﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻓﺎﺤﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺸﻼﺌﻬﻡ ﻤﺴﻜﺎ ...ﺃﺭﻴﺩﻫﺎ ﺩﺠﻠﺔ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺍﺕ ﻷﻤﺴﺢ ﻋﻥ ﻭﺠﻨﺘﻴﻬﺎ ﻏﺒﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﺨﻨﺎﺩﻕ ﻭﺍﻝﺒﻨﺎﺩﻕ ...ﻷﺠﻔﻑ ﺩﻤـﺎﺀ ﻋـﺫﺍﺭﺘﻬﺎ ﻋـﻥ ﻓﺨـﺫﻴﻬﺎ ﻓﻘـﺩ ﺍﻏﺘﺼﺒﻭﻫﺎ ﻁﻔﻠﺔ ...ﻷﻋﻁﻴﻬﺎ ﺒﻜﻠﺔ ﺸﻌﺭ ﻭﻤﺸﻁ ﻭﻤﺭﺁﺓ. ﺇﻥ ﺭﻓﻀﺕ ﺴﺄﺴﺘﻤﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﺤﺙ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﺠﺩ ﺃﺠﻤل ﺍﺴﻡ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻭﺠـﻭﺩ ﻝﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﺒﻨﺘﻨﺎ ﺼﺎﺤﺒﺘﻪ ،ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻨﺠﺏ ﺴﺄﻜﻭﻥ ﻗﺩ ﻭﺠﺩﺕ ﺍﺴﻤﺎ ﻤﻨﺎﺴﺒﺎ ﻴﻠﻴﻕ ﺒﻬﺎ"
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"ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻫل ﺃﻁﻠﺏ ﻤﻨﻙ ﺸﻲﺀ؟ ﺃﻭ ﻫﻭ ﺭﺠﺎﺀ ﺒﺎﻷﺤﺭﻯ ،ﺒﻤﺎ ﺃﻨـﻙ ﺴﺘﺠﺘﻬﺩﻴﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻔﻜﻴﺭ ﻭﺍﻝﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻥ ﺍﺴﻡ ﻝﻁﻔﻠﻨﺎ ،ﻓﺄﺭﺠﻭﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺘﻭﺴﻌﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺘﻔﻜﻴﺭﻙ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﻭﺘﺒﺤﺜﻲ ﻋﻥ ﺍﺴﻡ ﻝﻪ ﻋﻠﻙ ﺘﺠﺩﻴﻥ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺍﺴﻡ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻜﻤﺜﻠﻪ ﺍﺴﻡ ،ﻭﻴﻠﻴﻕ ﺒﻪ" ﻗﺎل ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺒﺘﻬﻜﻡ. "ﻭﻤﻥ ﻗﺎل ﻝﻙ ﺃﻨﻪ ﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻁﻔﻼ؟" "ﻫﻭ ﻨﻔﺴﻪ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻗﺎل ﻝﻲ ﻫﺫﺍ" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﺤﻤل ﺍﻝﺠﻨﻴﻥ ،ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﺤﺱ ﺒﻪ ﺫﻜﺭﺍ ﺃﻡ ﺃﻨﺜﻰ" "ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺃﺴﻤﻊ ﺸﻲﺀ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ ،ﺃﺨﺒﺭﻴﻨﻲ ﻜﻴﻑ ﺘﺤﺱ ﺍﻝﻤـﺭﺃﺓ ﺒﺠﻨﻴﻨﻬـﺎ ﺫﻜﺭﺍ ﺃﻡ ﺃﻨﺜﻰ؟" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺩﻋﻲ ﺃﻥ ﻜل ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺘﻌﻠﻡ ﻤﺎ ﺒﺩﺍﺨﻠﻬﺎ ،ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﺤﺭﻜﺔ ﻻ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺇﻻ ﻤﻥ ﻁﻔﻠﺘﻲ ،ﺤﺭﻜﺔ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺭﻗﺔ ﻤﺜل ﺭﻗﺔ ﻜل ﺃﻁﻔﺎل ﺍﻝﻌـﺎﻝﻡ، ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻨﻌﻭﻤﺔ ﻤﺜل ﻨﻌﻭﻤﺔ ﻜل ﺍﻹﻨﺎﺙ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﻴﺨﻴﺏ ﻅﻨﻲ ﻤﺜﻠﻤﺎ ﻝﻡ ﻴﺨﺏ ﺒﺤﺒﻙ ،ﻓﻲ ﺇﺨﻼﺼﻙ ﻝﻲ ﻭﻓﻲ ﺠﻤﺎل ﺭﺤﻠﺘﻨﺎ ﻫﺫﻩ ...ﺃﻨـﺕ ﺼـﺎﺤﺏ ﻓﻜﺭﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻭﻓﻲ ﻁﻔﻠﺘﻲ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺨﻴﺏ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ"
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"ﺃﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻓﺄﻗﻭل ﻝﻙ ﺃﻨﻪ ﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻁﻔل ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺒـﻴﻥ ﺤﺭﻭﻓـﻙ ﺭﺍﻓﻀﺔ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺫﻜﺭﺍ ﻭﻫﺫﺍ ﻝﺸﻌﻭﺭﻙ ﺍﻝﻘﻭﻱ ﺒﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﺴـﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﻨﺜـﻰ ﺃﻋﻁﺎﻙ ﺇﺤﺴﺎﺴﺎ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺃﻭﺠﺩﺘﻪ ،ﺨﻠﻘﺘﻪ ﻭﺍﻗﻊ ﻭﺍﻵﻥ ﺘﻌﺎﺼﺭﻴﻨﻪ ﻴﻘﻴﻨﺎ" "ﺇﺤﺴﺎﺴﻲ ﺒﺄﻨﻙ ﺘﺤﺒﻨﻲ ﻫﻭ ﻝﻴﺱ ﺨﻴﺎﻻ ،ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﻭﺍﻗﻊ ﻨﺤﻥ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻨﻌﻴﻪ، ﻭﺤﺒﻙ ﺍﻝﺠﻴﺎﺵ ﻝﻲ ﻝﻥ ﻴﺨﻠﻕ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﺇﻻ ﻁﻔﻠﺔ ،ﺤﺒﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻨﻭﺜﺘﻲ ﻝﻥ ﻴﺨﻠﻕ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﺇﻻ ﺃﻨﺜﻰ ،ﻭﺒﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﻪ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻴﺎ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻭﻨﺒﻀﻪ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ ﻭﻭﺍﻝﺩ ﻁﻔﻠﻲ ،ﻓﻼ ﻴﻬﻤﻨﻲ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻝﻭ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻁﻴﺭﺍ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺯﺭﻋﻪ ﺤﺒـﺎ ﻓـﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ،ﺨﻠﻘﻪ ﺭﺤﻤﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺤﺸﺎﺌﻲ ،ﺇﻥ ﺃﺘﻰ ﻁﻔﻼ ﻓﻬﺎ ﻗﺩ ﺭﺯﻗﻨﻲ ﺍﷲ ﺒﻙ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ،ﻭﻋﻨﺩ ﻏﻴﺎﺒﻙ ،ﺭﺤﻴﻘﻙ ﺴﻴﺒﻘﻰ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨـل ﺍﻝﺒﻴـﺕ ،ﻓـﻲ ﻭﺠﺩﺍﻨﻲ ﻭﻤﻥ ﺨﻼﻝﻲ ،ﻭﺇﻥ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻁﻔﻠﺔ ﻓﺴﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﺠﻤل ﺃﻨﺜﻰ ﺨﻠﻘـﺕ، ﺃﻨﺕ ﻋﺭﻓﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻭﻜﻴﻑ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ،ﻜﻴﻑ ﺍﻝﻭﺼﻭل ﻝﻘﻠﺒﻬﺎ ،ﻫـﻭ ﺃﻨـﺕ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻋﻠﻡ ﺍﻹﻨﺎﺙ ﻜﻴﻑ ﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﺭﺠﺎل ،ﻫﻭ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻗـﺎل" :ﺍﻝﺤـﺏ ﻋﺒﺎﺩﻩ" ﻋﺒﺎﺩﺓ ،ﻭﻨﺤﻥ "ﺃﺃﻨﺎ ﻗﻠﺕ ﻜل ﻫﺫﺍ؟ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺘﺤﺩﻯ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺤﺒﻲ ﻝﻙ ﺃﻜﺒﺭ ﻭﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﺕ ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻝﻭ ﺃﻋﻁﺎﻙ ﺍﷲ ﻋﻤﺭﻴﻥ ﻭﺒﻬﻤﺎ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺘﻨﻲ ﻝﻥ ﺘﺴﺘﻁﻴﻌﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺤﺒﻴﻨﻨـﻲ ﻤﺜﻠﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ،ﺃﺴﻤﻊ ﻜﻼﻤﻙ ﻭﺃﻋﻴـﺸﻙ ﻭﺃﺤـﺴﻙ ﺒﻠﻤـﺴﺎﺘﻙ ﻭﻫﻤﺴﺎﺘﻙ ﻭﺃﺅﻤﻥ ﺒﺄﻨﻙ ﺘﺤﺒﻴﻨﻲ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻱ ﺤﺏ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻝﺭﺠل ،ﻭﻝﻴﺱ ﻓﻘﻁ ﻜﻼﻤﻙ ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺒﺤﺒﻙ ﺃﺠﺒﺭﺘﻨﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻘﻭل ﺃﻨﻪ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ 111
ﺃﺤﺒﺕ ﺭﺠل ﻤﺜﻠﻤﺎ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺘﻨﻲ .ﻤﺘﻰ ﺴﺄﺒﺩﺃ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺼـﻨﻊ ﺴـﺭﻴﺭ ﻝﻁﻔﻠﻨﺎ؟" "ﺍﺒﺩﺃ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻐﺩ ﻭﺘﺄﻨﻰ ﺒﻪ" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﺜﻠﻙ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﻌﺘﻘﺩﻴﻥ ﺒﺄﻨﻙ ﺘﺤﻤﻠﻴﻥ ﻁﻔﻠﺔ ﻭﺤﻤﻠﺘﻨﻨﻲ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻤﻌﻙ ﻷﺤﻼﻤﻙ" "ﻻ ﺘﻘل ﺃﺤﻼﻡ ،ﺇﻨﻪ ﻭﺍﻗﻊ ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﻁﻔل ﻭﺃﻋـﺭﻑ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺒﺤﻜﻡ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ" "ﻝﻡ ﺃﺩﻋﻲ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺤﻤﻠﻙ ﺤﻠﻡ ،ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺴﺘﻔﻌﻠﻴﻥ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﻁﻔﻠﻨﺎ؟ ﺃﻻ ﺘﻌﺘﻘﺩﻴﻥ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻤﺎﺯﺍل ﺒﺎﻜﺭﺍ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻻﺴﻡ ﻭﺍﻝﺴﺭﻴﺭ ﻭﺤﻴﺎﻜﺔ ﻤﻼﺒـﺴﻪ، ﻭﻜل ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺘﻌﻠﻕ ﺒﻪ .ﻝﺩﻴﻨﺎ ﻤﺘﺴﻊ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻓﻌل ﻜـل ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﻨﺭﻯ ﻤﺎ ﺴﻴﺭﺯﻗﻨﺎ ﺍﷲ ،ﻁﻔﻼ ﺃﻡ ﻁﻔﻠﺔ .ﻓﻠﻨﻜﻤـل ﺍﻵﻥ ﺭﺤﻠﺘﻨﺎ ،ﺃﻝﻡ ﻨﺄﺨﺫ ﻗﺴﻁﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﺍﺤﺔ؟" "ﺒﻠﻰ ،ﺭﻏﻡ ﺠﻤﺎل ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ،ﻭﻝﻜﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺎﺒﻌﺔ ﻗﺩ ﻨﺭﻯ ﻤﺎ ﺃﺠﻤـل ﻭﺃﺩﻫﺵ ...ﻨﺭﻯ ﻤﺎ ﻝﻡ ﻨﺭﺍﻩ ﺒﻌﺩ" "ﺇﺫﺍ ﻫﻴﺎ ،ﻭﻫﺫﺍ ﻋﺎﺼﻑ ﻴﻨﺘﻅﺭ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻫﺒﺔ ﺍﻻﺴﺘﻌﺩﺍﺩ"
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ﻭﻀﻌﺕ ﻴﺩﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺭﺃﺴﻪ ﺃﺩﺍﻋﺒﻪ ،ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﻤﺘﻌﺔ ﻭﻴﺩﻱ ﺘﻤﺭ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺸﻌﺭﻩ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﻋﻡ ﻭﻋﻀﻼﺕ ﺠﺴﺩﻩ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺭﺯﺓ ،ﺼﻌﺩﺕ ﺃﻭﻻ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺃﺨـﺫﺕ ﺒﻴﺩﻫﺎ ﺃﺸﺩﻫﺎ ﻋﻠﻲ ﺒﻘﻭﺓ ...ﻭﻀﻌﺕ ﻗﺩﻤﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻗﺩﻤﻲ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﻴﻜـﻭﻥ ﺭﻜﻭﺒﻬﺎ ﺴﻬﻼ.
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ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﺘﺎﺒﻌﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺭﺤﻠﺔ ﻤﻌﻪ ...ﻴﺘﺒﺨﺘﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ﺒـﺒﻁﺀ ﻭﺠـﺩﻭل ﺍﻝﻤـﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺼﻐﻴﺭ ﻴﺘﺴﻊ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻓﺸﻲﺀ ،ﻴﺯﺩﺍﺩ ﻋﺭﻀﺔ ﻭﻴﻜﺜﺭ ﻤﺎﺌﻪ ...ﺠـﺩﺍﻭل ﻤﺎﺀ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﺘﺘﻔﺭﻉ ﺃﺼﻐﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺸﺭﺒﻨﺎ ﻤﻨﻪ ،ﻜﻠﻬﺎ ﺘـﺼﺏ ﻓﻴـﻪ ﻤﻜﻭﻨﺔ ﺴﻴﻼ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺍ ،ﺒﻘﻴﻨﺎ ﻨﺴﻴﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺤﺎﺫﺍﺘﻪ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﺎﻓﺔ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻨﻬﺎﻴﺘﻪ ،ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﻤﺭﺘﻔﻌﺔ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ﻭﺘﺸﻜل ﺸﻼﻻ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺍ ﻓﻲ ﺒﺭﻜﺔ ﻤـﺎﺀ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ،ﻨﻅﺭﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻷﺴﻔل ،ﺍﻝﺒﺭﻜﺔ ﺭﺍﺌﻌﺔ ﺠﺩﺍ ﻭﻻ ﺘﻭﺤﻲ ﺒـﺎﻝﺨﻭﻑ، ﻓﻠﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺍﺭﺘﻔﺎﻋﻪ ﺸﺎﻫﻘﺎ ،ﺍﻝﻤﻨﻅﺭ ﻴﺸﺠﻊ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﺒﺢ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻘﻔﺯ ،ﻭﺤـﻭﻻ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺒﺭﻜﺔ ﺼﺨﻭﺭ ،ﺒﻴﻀﺎﺀ ،ﻤﻠﺴﺎﺀ ﻻﻤﻌﺔ ،ﺸﻜﻠﻬﺎ ﺭﺘﻴﺏ ،ﺨﻠﻘﺕ ﻜﻲ ﺘﺘﻨﺎﺴﻕ ﻭﺍﻨﺴﻴﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ،ﺃﺸﻜﺎﻝﻬﺎ ﺩﺍﺌﺭﻴﺔ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻤﺤﺩﺒﺔ ،ﻨﺎﻋﻤﺔ ﻝﺯﺠﺔ. "ﺠﻨﺎﺡ؟ ﺃﻭﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻨﺒﻘﻰ ﻫﻨﺎ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﻓﺎﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﺨﻼﺏ" "ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺴﺒﺢ ﻤﻌﻙ ﻓﻲ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻤﻴﺎﻩ ﺍﻝﺼﺎﻓﻴﺔ ،ﻝﻜﻨﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻭ ﻨﻬﻀﻨﺎ ،ﻗﺼﺩﻨﺎ ﺇﻜﻤﺎل ﺍﻝﺭﺤﻠﺔ ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﻘﻴﻨﺎ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﻓﻠﻥ ﺘﻜﻔﻴﻨﺎ ﺃﺴﺎﺒﻴﻊ، ﻝﻨﻜﻤل ﻭﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻝﻨﺎ ﻫﻨﺎ ﻓﺭﺼﺔ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ" "ﻨﻌﻡ ...ﻓﻠﻨﻜﻤل ﺇﺫﺍ"
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﻴﺎ ﺍﷲ ...ﻴﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺒﺩﻉ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ...ﺍﻝﻨﺎﻅﺭ ﻝﻠﻐﺎﺒﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﺭﺝ ﻻ ﻴﺘﺼﻭﺭ ﻤﺩﻯ ﺭﻭﻨﻘﺔ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﻝﻕ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﻻ ﻴﻌﻁﻲ ﺍﻨﻁﺒﺎﻋﺎ ﺒﺘﺎﺘﺎ ﻝﻬﺎ ﻋـﻥ ﺍﻝﺩﺍﺨل. "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻤﺎ ﺃﺠﻤل ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﻤﻌﻙ ،ﻓﺎﻝﺴﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﻜﻠﻤﺔ ﻻ ﺘﻜﻔﻲ ﻋﻥ ﻤﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﻤﻥ ﻓﺭﺡ ﻭﺤﺏ ،ﻨﻔﺱ ﻤﻁﻤﺌﻨﺔ ﻭﻁﺒﻴﻌﺔ ﺠﺫﺍﺒـﺔ ،ﻭﻋﺎﺼـﻑ ﻴﺤﻤﻠﻨﺎ ﺃﻴﻨﻤﺎ ﺸﺌﻨﺎ ،ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﻤﺴﻜﻴﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ،ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﻙ ﺒﺸﺩﺓ ﻜﺄﻨﻨـﺎ ﺠﺴﺩ ﻭﺍﺤﺩ ﻭﺃﺠﺯﺍﺀﻩ ﺘﻁﻠﺏ ﺒﻌﻀﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺒﻌﺽ ،ﻤـﺎ ﻫـﻭ ﺍﻝـﺴﺭ ﻓـﻲ ﺇﺤﺴﺎﺴﻲ ﻫﺫﺍ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ؟ ﻫل ﻫـﻭ ﻓـﺴﺘﺎﻨﻙ ﺍﻝـﺸﻔﺎﻑ؟" ﻗـﺼﺩﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺩﺍﻋﺒﻬﺎ. ﺼﺎﺭﺕ ﺘﺸﺩﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺸﻌﺭﻱ ﺘﻀﺤﻜﻨﻲ ،ﻭﺘﻘﻭل" :ﻫل ﻫﺫﺍ ﻜل ﻤـﺎ ﻴﺸﺩﻙ ﺇﻝﻲ؟ ﺒﺈﻤﻜﺎﻨﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺄﺨﺫ ﻫـﺩﻴﺘﻙ ﻭﺘﻌﻁﻴﻬـﺎ ﻻﻤـﺭﺃﺓ ﺃﺨـﺭﻯ ﻭﻝﺘﺭﺘﺩﻴﻪ ،ﻋﻠﻙ ﺘﺤﺱ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ،ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺩﻤﺔ ﺴـﺄﺭﺘﺩﻱ ﺯﻴـﺎ ﻋﺴﻜﺭﻱ ﺨﺸﻥ ﻭﺍﺤﻜﻲ ﻝﻲ ﺒﻌﺩﻫﺎ ﻋﻥ ﺸﻌﻭﺭﻙ ﻜﻴﻑ ﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ!" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﺴﻤﻌﻙ ﺒﺭﻏﺒﺔ ﺸﺩﻴﺩﺓ ﻜﺎﻝﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﻭﺃﻁﻠﻌﻙ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺭﺃﻴـﻲ .ﻤـﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﻙ؟" ﻗﺼﺩ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺴﺘﻔﺯﻫﺎ ﺒﺄﺴﻠﻭﺒﻪ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺯﺡ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﺨﺭ ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ. 117
ﺍﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺔ ﻭﺨﻠﻭﺓ ﺘﻀﻤﻨﻲ ،ﺘﺘﺨﻠل ﻜﻼﻤﻲ ...ﺃﺭﻯ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺭﺩﻭﺩ ﻓﻌـل ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ،ﺍﻷﻨﺜﻰ ...ﻗﺩ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻌﻅﻡ ﺍﻷﺤﻴﺎﻥ ﺫﺍﺕ ﺼـﻭﺭﺓ ﺠﺩﻴﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺩﺍﺨل ،ﻝﻴﺱ ﻜﻤﺎ ﺘﻅﻬﺭﻫﺎ ﻝﻶﺨﺭﻴﻥ ،ﻫﻲ ﺘﻌﻲ ﺘﻤﺎﻤﺎ ﺒـﺄﻥ ﻜﻼﻤﻲ ﻓﻘﻁ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺴﺒﻴل ﺍﻝﻤﺩﺍﻋﺒﺔ ...ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﺩﻋﺎﺒﺔ ﻴﺠﺏ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺭﺠـل ﺃﻥ ﻴﺘﻘﻨﻬﺎ ﻤﻊ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ،ﻓﻘﺩ ﺘﺤﺒﻙ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻝﺩﺭﺠﺔ ﺍﻝﺠﻨﻭﻥ ،ﻭﺘﺴﻤﻊ ﻤﻨـﻙ ﻜﻼﻡ ﻓﻲ ﻴﻭﻡ ﺸﺎﻕ ﻭﺇﺭﻫﺎﻕ ،ﺃﻭ ﺘﻌﺎﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﻓـﺭﺍﻍ ﻭﺃﺭﻕ ...ﻭﻴﻔﺎﺠـﺄ ﺍﻝﺭﺠل ﻤﻥ ﺭﺩﻭﺩ ﻓﻌل ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﺴﺒﺎﻥ ...ﻭﺩﻭﻥ ﺘﻌﻠﻴﻕ ﻤـﺴﺒﻕ ﺘﻘﻭل ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ" :ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﻌﻨﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻜﻼﻤﻙ؟ ﺃﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺴﻤﻊ ﻫﻭ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻋﺸﺘﻪ ﻜل ﻭﻗﺘﻲ ﻤﻌﻙ ،ﺃﻫﺫﺍ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺴﺘﺤﻘﻪ ﻤﻨﻙ؟" ﻼ "ﻝﻘﺩ ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻙ ﻤﻥ ﻗﺒل ﺃﻨﻙ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺼﺎﺤﺒﺔ ﺍﻝﺴﺭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺼﻴﺭﻨﻲ ﻁﻔ ﹰ ﻻ ﻴﺭﻴﺩ ﺇﻻ ﺃﻤﻪ ،ﺯﺭﻜﺸﺘﻲ ﻓﺴﺘﺎﻨﻙ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻜﻭﻥ ﺸـﻴﺌﺎ ﻤﺜﻠﻪ ﻭﺃﻻﻤﺴﻙ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺃﻭﻗﺎﺘﻲ ،ﻓﻲ ﺫﻫﺎﺒﻲ ﻭﺇﻴﺎﺒﻲ ،ﺤﺘﻰ ﻨﺩﺨل ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ...ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺴﻴﺤﻴﻨﻲ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺭﺠﻼ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻭﻓﻲ ﺤﺠﺭﺓ ﻨﻭﻤﻨﺎ ﺼﺎﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﺤﻕ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻜﻭﻥ ﺜﻭﺒﻙ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﺭﺘﺩﻴـﻪ ﺃﺜﻨـﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﺭ ،ﻋﻨﺩ ﺩﺨﻭﻝﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺒﻴﺘﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﻭﺼﺎﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﺤﻕ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻨﻙ ﺍﻹﺜﺎﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺭﺍﻫﺎ ﺘﺘﺠﻠﻰ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻲ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻫﻭ ﺼﺎﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﺤﻕ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺭﺘﺩﻴﻨﻲ ﺒﺩﻻ ﻤﻥ ﺜﻭﺒﻙ ﺘﺨﺒﺌﻴﻥ ﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻜﺎﺸﻔﻪ ﻭﻋﺎﺸﻘﻪ"
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"ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺴﻌﺩ ﺒﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﺭ ،ﻋﻨﺩ ﻋﻭﺩﺘﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﺀ ﻭﺩﺨـﻭﻝﻲ ﻝﺤﺠﺭﺓ ﻨﻭﻤﻨﺎ ...ﺃﺤﻠﻕ ﻤﻌﻪ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻜﺎﻝﺘﻲ ﻓﻭﻗﻨﺎ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻬﺎ ﺇﻻ ﺒﺄﺤﻀﺎﻨﻙ ،ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺃﺩﻋﻲ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺍﻝﺠﻨﺔ ﻝﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﺭﻭﻉ ﻤﻥ ﻓﺭﺍﺸﻨﺎ ،ﻝﻭ ﺃﻥ ﺭﺠﺎل ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻜﺭﺠﻠﻲ ،ﻭﻨﺴﺎﺀ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻤﺜﻠﻲ ،ﻝﻌﺭﻓﻭﺍ ﺃﻥ ﻫﻨـﺎﻙ ﺠﻨﺔ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻏﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ" "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻝﻘﺩ ﺴﻤﻌﺕ ﻤﺭﺓ ﻤﻥ ﺼﺩﻴﻕ ﻝﻲ ﺃﺒﺎ ﻷﻁﻔـﺎل ،ﻴﻘـﻭل" :ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﻤل ﺘﺤﺏ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺤﻤﻠﻬﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺩﻝل ﺯﻭﺠﻬﺎ ﺃﻜﺜـﺭ ﻤـﻥ ﻜـل ﺍﻷﻭﻗﺎﺕ ،ﻫل ﻫﺫﺍ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺃﺸﻬﺭ ﺍﻝﺤﻤل؟" "ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ! ﻗﺩ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺼﺩﻴﻘﻙ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺤﺎﻝﺔ ﺍﺴﺘﺜﻨﺎﺌﻴﺔ ،ﻓﺄﻨـﺎ ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﻝﻲ ﺼﺩﻴﻘﺘﻲ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﻤﺩﻝﻠﺔ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻊ ﺯﻭﺠﻬﺎ ﻭﺨﺎﺼﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺸﻬﺭ ﺍﻝﺤﻤل ،ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﻝﻲ" :ﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﺒﺎﻹﻓﻁﺎﺭ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺴـﺭﻴﺭ ﻨﻭﻤﻬـﺎ ﻭﻴﻭﻗﻅﻬﺎ ﺒﻘﺒﻠﺔ ﻭﻴﻁﻌﻤﻬﺎ ﺒﻴﺩﻴﻪ ،ﻭﻤﻥ ﺜﻡ ﻴﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﺒﺦ ﻭﻴﻨﻬـﻲ ﺠﻤﻴﻊ ﺃﻋﻤﺎﻝﻪ ،ﺜﻡ ﻴﻌﻭﺩ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻗﺩ ﻨﺎﻤﺕ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ،ﻴﺠﻠﺱ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺠﺎﻨﺒﻬﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﺴﺘﻴﻘﻅ ﻭﺤﺩﻫﺎ ،ﻭﺒﻌﺩﻫﺎ ﻴﺄﺨﺫﻫﺎ ،ﻴﺴﺎﻋﺩﻫﺎ ﻝﻼﺴـﺘﺤﻤﺎﻡ، ﻴﺴﺄﻝﻬﺎ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﻨﺘﻬﻲ" :ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﻭﺩﻱ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻠﺒﺴﻲ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ؟" ﻴﻘﻭﻡ ﻹﻝﺒﺎﺴﻬﺎ ،ﺘﺴﺭﻴﺢ ﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ ،ﻴﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ ﺒﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﻤﺜـل ﺍﻷﻤﻴـﺭﺍﺕ، ﻴﺨﺭﺠﻬﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻬﻭﺍﺀ ﺍﻝﻁﻠﻕ ،ﻷﻨﻪ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝـﺼﺤﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺨـﺭﺝ ﺍﻝﻤـﺭﺃﺓ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﻤل ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﻥ ﻭﺍﻷﺨﺭ ﻭﺃﻥ ﺘﻤﺸﻲ ﻜل ﻴﻭﻡ ﻝﻴﺒﻘﻰ ﺍﻝﺠﻨﻴﻥ ﺴـﻠﻴﻤﺎ 119
ﻤﻌﺎﻓﻰ ،ﻭﻋﻨﺩ ﻋﻭﺩﺘﻬﻡ ﻴﺠﻠﺴﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﻌﺩ ﺍﻝﻌـﺭﻴﺽ ﺍﻷﺴـﻔﻨﺠﻲ، ﻴﺴﺄﻝﻬﺎ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﺤﺒﻴﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺸﺭﺒﻲ ﻴﺎ ﻏﺎﻝﻴﺘﻲ؟ ﻴﺫﻫﺏ ﻹﺤـﻀﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﻨﺒﻴـﺫ ﺍﻝﺸﺘﻭﻱ ﻤﻊ ﺍﻝﻔﺎﻜﻬﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﺠﻔﻔﺔ ،ﻴﺒﻘﻰ ﻨﺎﻅﺭﺍ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﺴﺘﻌﺩﺍ ﻷﻥ ﻴﻠﺒﻲ ﺃﻱ ﻤﻁﻠﺏ ﻝﻬﺎ .ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺎل ﻤﻊ ﺼﺩﻴﻘﺘﻲ ﻁﻭﺍل ﻤﺩﺓ ﺤﻤﻠﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻤﺎ ﺃﻨـﺎ ﻓﻠﻥ ﺃﻁﻠﺏ ﻤﻨﻙ ﺸﻲﺀ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ ،ﺇﻥ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻘﻭﻡ ﺒﻌﻤل ﺸـﻲﺀ ﻤـﻥ ﺘﻠﻘﺎﺌﻙ ﻓﻬﺫﺍ ﻋﺎﺌﺩ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ،ﺇﻻ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺃﺭﺩﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻌﻤل ﻝﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻴﻭﻡ ﻏﺩﺍﺌﻨﺎ، ﺃﻭ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻘﻭﻡ ﺒﺘﻨﻅﻴﻑ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺯل ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﻤﺎﻨﻊ ،ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺃﺤﺒﺒـﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻐـﺴل ﻤﻼﺒﺴﻨﺎ ﻤﺭﺘﻴﻥ ﺃﻭ ﺜﻼﺜﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﺴﺒﻭﻉ ﻤﺜﻠﻤﺎ ﺃﻓﻌل ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻻ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺭﻓﺽ ﻤﺴﺎﻋﺩﺘﻙ ،ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻨﻅﻑ ﺍﻝﻨﻭﺍﻓﺫ ﺍﻝﺯﺠﺎﺠﻴﺔ ﻜﻠﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺴﺒﻴل ﺍﻝﻁﺭﺡ ﻓﻘﻁ ،ﻭﺍﻝﻤﻜﺘﺒﺔ ﺒﺤﺎﺠﺔ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻝﻠﺘﺭﺘﻴـﺏ ﻭﺍﻷﻭﺭﺍﻕ ،ﻭﺇﻥ ﺒﻘـﻲ ﻝﺩﻴﻙ ﻭﻗﺕ ﻓﺒﺈﻤﻜﺎﻨﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻠﻤﻊ ﺍﻝﺠﺩﺭﺍﻥ ...ﻫﺫﺍ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺸﺌﺕ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ، ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺤﺱ ﺒﻀﻐﻁ ﻤﻨﻲ" "ﺁﻩ ...ﻝﻭ ﺘﻌﻠﻤﻴﻥ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻜﻡ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ،ﻝﻘﺩ ﻗﺎﻝﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻨﺴﺎﺀ ﻤﻥ ﻗﺒﻠﻲ ﺇﻥ ﺃﻜل ﺍﻝﺭﺠل ﻤﻥ ﻁﻌﺎﻡ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻫﻭ ﺩﻝﻴل ﻜﺎﻓﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺤﺒﻪ ﻝﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺭﻴـﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻗﻭل ﻝﻙ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻴﻭﻡ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ،ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺍﻝﻭﺠﺒﺎﺕ ﻭﻭﺠﺒﺔ ﺍﻹﻓﻁـﺎﺭ، ﻤﻊ ﻜل ﻁﺒﻕ ﺤﺴﺎﺀ ﻋﺩﺱ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻁﻬﻭﺘﻴﻪ ،ﻤﻊ ﻜل ﻓﻨﺠﺎﻥ ﻗﻬﻭﺓ ﻭﻓﺎﻜﻬﺔ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﻝﻐﺩﺍﺀ ﺃﻋﺩﺩﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺼﺎﺤﺒﺔ ﻓﻜﺭﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻬﺎ ﺇﻻ ﻤﻨـﻙ، ﻭﺃﺭﻓﺽ ﺃﻥ ﺁﻜﻠﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺤﺩﺍ ﻏﻴﺭﻙ ،ﻭﺃﻤﺎ ﻋﺸﺎﺀﻨﺎ ﺤﺴﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺠﺯﺭ ﻤـﻊ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺯﻴﻼﺀ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻝﻡ ﺁﻜل ﻤﺜﻠﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ﺇﻻ ﻤﻥ ﻴﺩﻴﻙ" 120
ﺼﺭﻨﺎ ﻨﻀﺤﻙ ﻭﺘﻌﺎﻨﻘﺕ ﻗﻠﻭﺒﻨﺎ ﻭﺃﺠﺴﺎﺩﻨﺎ ﺘﺠﺴﺩ ﻝﻬﻔﺔ ﻨﺼﺒﻭ ﺒﻬـﺎ ﻷﻨﻔﺴﻨﺎ ﻭﺨﻠﻭﺓ ﻨﻜﺘﻔﻲ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻡ ،ﺼﻭﺕ ﻓﺭﺡ ﻴﻐﻨﻲ ...ﻓﻴﻪ ﺃﻤـل ﻜﺒﻴﺭ ﻝﻠﻐﺩ ،ﻓﻴﻪ ﺒﺴﻤﺔ ،ﺸﻬﻴﻕ ﺘﻌﻠﻭ ﺒﻪ ﺃﻨﻔﺎﺴﻨﺎ ،ﻀﺤﻜﺎﺕ ﻨﺎﺒﻌـﺔ ﻤـﻥ ﻗﻠﻭﺒﻨﺎ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺭﻴﺎﺀ ﺃﻭ ﻜﺫﺏ ،ﻓﻲ ﺒﻁﻭﻨﻨﺎ ﻏﺭﻏﺭﺍﺕ ﺤﺏ ﻝﻡ ﻴﺤﺱ ﺒﻬـﺎ ﺃﺤﺩ ﻏﻴﺭﻱ ﻭﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺒﺠﺎﻨﺒﻲ ،ﻏﺭﻏﺭﺓ ﺤﺏ ﺘﺯﻴﺩﻨﻲ ﻨـﺸﺎﻁﺎ ،ﻋﻁـﺎﺀ، ﻭﺤﻴﻭﻴﺔ ،ﺃﻫﺩﺍﻓﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﺇﺴﻌﺎﺩ ﺫﺍﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﻤﻥ ﺨﻼﻝﻨﺎ ،ﻓﻨﺤﻥ ﻝﻡ ﻨﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﺴﻌﺎﺩﺓ ،ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﻨﺤﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻠﻘﻬﺎ ...ﺃﻤﺎ ﺍﻷﺤﺯﺍﻥ ﻝﻡ ﻨﻌﺭﻓﻬـﺎ ،ﻭﺇﻥ ﻭﺠﺩﺕ ﻓﻬﻲ ﺘﻌﻴﺵ ﻓﻲ ﻅﻼل ﻅﻼﻤﻨﺎ ،ﻭﻝﻤﺎ ﻻ؟ ﻭﻨﺤﻥ ﻤﻠﻜﻨﺎ ﻨـﺼﻑ ﻗﺭﺍﺭﺍﺕ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻭﺍﻷﺨﺭﻯ ﻤﺎﺯﺍﻝﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺯﻨﻘﺎﺘﻨﺎ ،ﻭﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﻜﻤـﺔ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﺼﻑ ﺍﻷﻭل ﺴﺭ ﻭﺠﻭﺩﻨﺎ ،ﻭﻨﺤﻥ ﺃﺼﺤﺎﺒﻪ ...ﻭﻓﻲ ﺸـﺭﻭﻕ ﺍﻝﺸﻤﺱ ﻓﻠﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﺭ ﻜﻤﺎ ﻴﺸﺎﺀ ،ﺇﻥ ﺃﺘﻰ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺒﺒﻬﺠﺔ ﻓﻬﺎ ﻨﺤﻥ ﻨﻘﺘﺴﻤﻬﺎ ﺒﻴﻨﻨﺎ ،ﻭﺇﻥ ﺃﺘﻰ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺒﺸﻤﺱ ﻤﺸﺭﻗﺔ ﻫﺎ ﻨﺤﻥ ﺍﺴﺘﺠﻤﻤﻨﺎ ،ﻭﻝﻤﺎ ﻻ ﻨﻜـﻭﻥ ﺴﻌﺩﺍﺀ؟ ﻋﺩﺍ ﻋﺎﺼﻑ ﺤﻭل ﺒﺭﻜﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﻤﺒﺘﻌﺩﺍ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝـﺼﺨﻭﺭ ﺍﻝﻠﺯﺠـﺔ، ﺃﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﺩﻓﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺨﻀﺭﺍﺀ ﺒﻭﺭﻭﺩﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﺒﻨﻔـﺴﺠﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﺯﻫﺭﻴـﺔ ﺘﺤﺘـﻀﻥ ﺍﻝﺒﺭﻜﺔ ،ﺍﻝﺼﺨﻭﺭ ﺒﻴﻀﺎﺀ ﻤﻠﺴﺎﺀ ﻤﺴﺘﺩﻴﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﺍﻝـﺸﻔﺎﻑ ﺍﻝﻌـﺫﺏ ل ﺘﻨﺎﺴﻘﺎ ﺇﻝﻬﻴﺎ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻓﻁﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﻌﺔ ﻭﺇﺒﺩﺍﻉ ﺍﻝﺨـﺎﻝﻕ .ﺇﻥ ﺍﻝـﺼﻭﺭﺓ ﻴﺸﻜ ُ ﺍﻝﺒﺩﻴﻬﻴﺔ ﻝﻤﺎ ﺘﺤﺘﻭﻴﻪ ﺃﺭﻀﻨﺎ ﺃﺒﺩﻉ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻭﺭﺁﺀﻫﺎ ﺒـﺸﺭ ،ﻫـﺫﺍ
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ﺍﻝﻔﻥ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻨﺭﺍﻩ ﻭﻨﻌﻴﺸﻪ ﻻ ﻭﻝﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﻜﺘﺴﺒﺎ ﻓﻬﻭ ﻤﻥ ﺼﻨﻊ ﻭﻋﻅﻤﺔ ﺍﷲ ،ﻓﻴﻪ ﻝﻤﺴﺔ ﻗﺭﻴﺒﺔ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻗﻠﻭﺏ ﺍﻝﺒﺸﺭ. ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﻌﺔ ﺸﻔﺎﻓﻴﺔ ﺘﻐﺴل ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻘﻠﺏ ﺍﻝﻭﺤﻴﺩ ﺁﺜﺎﺭ ﻋﻠﻘﺕ ﻤﻥ ﻨﻔﺎﻴﺎﺕ ﺍﻷﻴﺎﻡ ...ﻻ ...ﺇﻨﻪ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻤﻥ ﺼﻨﻊ ﺍﻝﺒﺸﺭ ،ﻓﻠﻤﺴﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻬـﻭﺍﺀ ﺍﻝﻨـﺎﻋﻡ ﺍﻝﺭﺍﻗﺼﺔ ﻤﻊ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﺘﺩﺍﻋﺒﻬﺎ ...ﻤﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺒﺭﻜﺔ ﺘﺴﺘﻠﻘﻲ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺠـﺫﻭﻉ ﺍﻝﺯﺭﻉ ﺍﻨﺘﺤﺭﺕ ...ﻨﺴﻴﻡ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﺭ ﻴﻠﻭﺡ ،ﻴﻨﻅﻡ ﺍﻝﻜﻠﻡ ﻷﺒﻁﺎل ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ.
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﺃﻜﻤﻠﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴﻕ ،ﻨﻌﻴﺵ ﺍﻝﻠﺤﻅﺔ ،ﻨﻐﺘﺎﻝﻬﺎ ،ﻨﺴﺭﻗﻬﺎ ﻤـﻥ ﺃﺤـﻀﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﺨﻀﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﻝﺤﺭﺍﺭﺓ. "ﺃﺘﻌﻠﻡ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺃﻓﻜﺭ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺒﺄﺸﻴﺎﺌﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺭﻜﻨﺎﻫﺎ" "ﺃﻭﻝﻡ ﺘﻔﻜﺭﻱ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺒﺎﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﺭﻜﻨﺎﻩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻀـﻔﺔ ﺍﻝﻨﻬـﺭ؟ ﻻ ﺘﻘﻠﻘﻲ ،ﻓﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﺎ ﻴﺭﺍﻡ ،ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺃﺘﻰ ﺸـﺨﺹ ﺠـﺎﺌﻊ ﻓﻠﻴﺄﻜل ﻜﻤﺎ ﻴﺸﺎﺀ ﻓﻬﻭ ﻝﻥ ﻴﺄﺨﺫ ﺇﻻ ﻤﺎ ﻜﺘﺏ ﻝﻪ ،ﻭﻨﺤﻥ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺇﻥ ﻜـﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﻁﻌﺎﻡ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺤﻀﺭﻨﺎﻩ ﻤﻥ ﻨﺼﻴﺒﻨﺎ ﻓﺴﻨﺄﻜﻠﻪ ،ﻓﺤﺭﺼﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﻴﻐﻴﺭ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﺭ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻭﺇﻥ ﻭﻗﻊ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﺭ ﻓﻠﻥ ﻴﻨﻔﻊ ﺍﻝﺤﺫﺭ" "ﻨﻌﻡ ﻫﻭ ﻜﺫﻝﻙ ،ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ! ﺃﻝﻴﺱ ﺫﺍﻙ ﻜﻬﻑ؟" "ﻤﻤﻜﻥ !...ﺇﻨﻪ ﻤﻐﻁﻰ ﺒﺎﻷﻋﺸﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﻁﻭﻴﻠﺔ ...ﻨﻌﻡ ﺇﻨﻪ ﻜﻬﻑ ﻫـﻭ ﻜﺒﻴﺭ ﺠﺩﺍ ﻜﻤﺎ ﻴﺒﺩﻭ"
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ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﺘﺭﺍﺒﻴﺔ ﺘﺅﺩﻱ ﺇﻝﻴـﻪ ،ﻁﺭﻴـﻕ ﻋـﺭﻴﺽ ﺘﺤﺘـﻀﻨﻬﺎ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﻭﻋﻠﻰ ﺒﻭﺍﺒﺘﻪ ﺃﻋﺸﺎﺏ ﺨﻀﺭﺍﺀ ﻁﻭﻴﻠﺔ ﺘﺘﺩﻝﻰ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﺼل ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ. ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻤﺩﺨﻠﻪ ،ﺃﻤﺴﻜﺕ ﺒﺎﻷﻋﺸﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺩﻝﻴـﺔ ﻋﻠﻴـﻪ ﻜﺄﻨﻬـﺎ ﻤﺭﺘﻔﻌﺎﺕ ﻁﻴﻨﻴﺔ ،ﻻﻤﺴﺕ ﺃﻭﺭﺍﻗﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺨﺸﻨﺔ ،ﺃﺭﺩﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻗﻁﻊ ﺃﺤﺩ ﺘﻠﻙ ﻱ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻗﻁﻊ ﻭﺍﺤﺩﺓ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ. ﺍﻷﻓﺭﻉ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺴﻴﺔ ﺠﺩﺍ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﺘﻤﻜﻥ ﺒﻜل ﻗﻭﺍ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﻅﺭ ﻏﺭﻴﺏ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ...ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﻤﻜﺘﻅﹲ ﺒﺎﻷﻋﺸﺎﺏ ،ﻭﺸﻜل ﺍﻝﻜﻬﻑ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻝﺒﻨﺎﺀ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺭﻯ ﻤﺜﻠﻪ ...ﻭﺍﻷﻋـﺸﺎﺏ ﻜﺄﻨﻬـﺎ ﺠﺒـﺎل ﺒﺄﻭﺭﺍﻕ ﻋﺭﻴﻀﺔ ﻭﺠﺫﻭﺭ ،ﻨﺯﻝﻨﺎ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺼﺎﻥ. "ﺍﺤﺫﺭﻱ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻻ ﺘﺩﻭﺴﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﻜﻭﺍﻡ ﺍﻝﻌﺸﺒﻴﺔ! ﻨﺤﻥ ﻻ ﻨﻌﺭﻑ ﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﺨﺒﺄﻩ ،ﻗﺩ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺤﻴﻭﺍﻨﺎﺕ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﻤﺅﺫﻴﺔ ﺃﻭ ﺃﺸﻭﺍﻙ ﺤﺎﺩﺓ" "ﺇﻨﺘﺒﻪ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ...ﺃﺭﻯ ﺒﻌﻴﻨﻴﻙ ﻭﻜﺄﻨﻙ ﺘﺭﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﺩﺨﻭل" "ﺃﺤﻘ ﹰﺎ ﻫﺫﺍ؟ ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﻙ ﺃﻻ ﺘﺭﻴﺩﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺩﺨﻭل؟" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﻌﻙ ﺃﻴﻨﻤﺎ ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺩ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺎﻝﺨﻭﻑ ،ﺇﻨﻲ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻘﻭﺓ ﻭﺸﺠﺎﻋﺔ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﻌﻙ ،ﻫﻴﺎ ﺩﻋﻨﺎ ﻨﺩﺨل ﻭﻨﺭﻯ ﻤﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺩﺍﺨل"
125
ﺍﺒﺘﺴﻤﺕ ﻤﺴﺭﻭﺭﺍ ﻝﺸﺠﺎﻋﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺒﺩﺍ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻁﺭﻴﻘﺔ ﻜﻼﻤﻬﺎ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻌﺩ ﺘﺨﺎﻑ. "ﺃﻋﻁﻨﻲ ﻴﺩﻴﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻭﺴﻨﺩﺨل ﺴﻭﻴﺎ ﻭﺃﻋﻁﻨﻲ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻗﺒﻠـﺔ ،ﺇﻥ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ!" "ﺃﻤﺎ ﻴﺩﻱ ﻓﺨﺫ ﺍﻝﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺤﺏ ،ﻝﻭ ﻜﻼﻫﻤﺎ ﺇﻥ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ ،ﻓﻬﻡ ﻴﺴﻌﺩﺍﻥ ﻤﻌﻙ ،ﻭﺃﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﻘﺒﻠﺔ ...ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﻋﻁﻴﻙ ﺇﻴﺎﻫﺎ ﻭﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻜﻐﻴﺭﻫﺎ ،ﻓﻠﻙ ﺤﺒﻴﺒـﻲ ﺃﺤﺭﻫﺎ ،ﺇﻥ ﻗﺒﻠﺘﻨﻲ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺒﻭﺍﺒﺔ ﻜل ﻤﻐﺎﺭﺓ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ﻤﻠﻴﺌﺔ ﺒﺎﻝﻜﻬﻭﻑ .ﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﻙ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ؟" "ﻤﺎ ﺃﻁﻴﺒﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻭﻤﺎ ﺃﻏﻼﻙ ﻴـﺎ ﺤﺒﻴﺒـﺔ ،ﻭﻤـﺎ ﺃﺭﻕ ﻗﺒﻠـﻙ ﻭﺃﺤﺭﻫﺎ ،ﺃﺤﺒﻬﺎ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﻓﻬﻲ ﺘﺤﺠﺒﻨﻲ ،ﺘﺤﺠﻤﻨﻲ ،ﺘﻘﻠﺼﻨﻲ ﺒﺨﺎﺭﺍ ﻴﺘﻠﻔﻌﻙ ،ﻗﺒﻠﻴﻨﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﺒﻭﺍﺏ ﺍﻝﻜﻬﻭﻑ ﻭﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻬﺎ ،ﻋﻠﻰ ﻅﻬـﺭ ﺍﻝﺤﺼﺎﻥ ،ﻭﻓﻲ ﺠﺎﻨﺒﻪ ،ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ،ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﻭﺘﺤﺕ ﺍﻝﺠﺴﻭﺭ" ﺩﺨﻠﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻜﻬﻑ ،ﻜﺎﻥ ﻤﻅﻠﻤﺎ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﻝﻡ ﻨﺴﺘﻁﻊ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﺩﺍﻴـﺔ ﺭﺅﻴﺎ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺴﻠﻘﺔ ﻝﻠﺩﺍﺨل ﺒﻭﻀﻭﺡ .ﺒﺩﺕ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺠﺫﻭﺭ ﺍﻝﺯﺍﺤﻔـﺔ ﻝﻠﺩﺍﺨل ﻤﻀﻴﺌﺔ ﻭﻭﺭﻭﺩ ﻗﺩ ﻨﻤﺕ ﻋﻨﻭﺓ ﻤﺜل ﻤﺼﺎﺒﻴﺢ ﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﺘﻨﻴﺭﻩ. "ﻴﺎ ﻝﻠﻐﺭﺍﺒﺔ ،ﻜﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﻗﻨﺎﺩﻴل؟ ﺃﻫﺫﻩ ﺤﻘﻴﻘﺔ؟ ﻤﺎ ﺍﻝـﺫﻱ ﻴـﻀﺊ ﻫـﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺯﻫﻭﺭ ﺒﻬﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺸﻜل؟" 126
"ﻨﻌﻡ ﻴﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﺇﻨﻪ ﻋﺠﻴﺏ ،ﺴﺄﻗﻁﻑ ﻭﺭﺩﺓ ﻭﺃﺨﺭﺠﻬﺎ ﻝﻠﻬﻭﺍﺀ" ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﺕ ﻤﻥ ﻴﺎﻨﻌﺔ ﺼﻌﺏ ﻗﻁﺎﻓﻬﺎ ﻝﺩﺭﺠﺔ ﺃﻨﻪ ﺴﺎل ﺩﻡ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺼﺒﻌﻲ ﻋﻨﺩ ﻗﻁﻌﻬﺎ ،ﺨﺭﺠﻨﺎ ﺒﻬﺎ ...ﻝﻜﻨﻬﺎ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻤﺜل ﺃﻱ ﻭﺭﺩﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ،ﻁﻔﺄ ﻨﻭﺭﻫﺎ. "ﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﻙ؟ ﺃﻨﺄﺨﺫ ﻭﺍﺤﺩﺓ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ﻭﻨﺭﻯ ﺇﻥ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺴﺘﻀﻲﺀ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﺩﺍﺨل ﺃﻡ ﻻ؟" "ﻭﻝﻤﺎ ﻻ؟ ﺴﺄﻗﻁﻑ ﻝﻙ ﺃﺠﻤل ﻭﺭﺩﺓ ،ﻭﺴﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻫﺩﻴﺘﻲ ﻝـﻙ ﺍﻝﻴـﻭﻡ" ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺃﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻥ ﺃﺠﻤل ﻭﺭﺩﺓ ﻭﻝﻡ ﺃﻜﻥ ﺭﺍﻀﻴﺎ ﻋﻥ ﻜل ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ. "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺠﺩ ﻭﺍﺤﺩﺓ ﺘﺴﺘﺤﻕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻫﺩﻴﻬﺎ ﻝﻙ ،ﺴﺄﻏﻤﺽ ﻋﻴﻨـﻲ ﻭﺃﺘﻨﺎﻭل ﻤﻥ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻲ ،ﻭﺍﻝﺘﻤﺴﻲ ﻝﻲ ﻋﺫﺭﺍ ﺇﻥ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜـﻥ ﺭﺤﻴﻘﻬـﺎ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺘﻭﻯ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺘﻤﻨﺎﻩ ﻷﻤﻴﺭﺘﻲ" "ﻻ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ،ﺃﻋﻁﻨﻲ ﺃﻴﻬﻡ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ" "ﺴﺄﻋﻁﻴﻙ ﺩﺤﻨﻭﻨﺔ ﺤﻤﺭﺍﺀ ،ﻓﻬﻲ ﺃﺠﻤل ﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﺕ ﻫﻨﺎ" ﺤﻤﻠﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﺩﺨﻠﻨﺎ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺍﻝﻜﻬـﻑ ،ﻭﻗﻔﻨـﺎ ﻨﺭﺍﻗـﺏ ﺍﻝﺩﺤﻨﻭﻨﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﻅﻠﻤﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺩﺍﺨل ،ﻓﻬﻲ ﻤﻨﻲ ﻝﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ. 127
"ﺃﺘﻌﺘﻘﺩﻴﻥ ﺒﺴﺭ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻭﺭﻭﺩ ﻭﺍﻝﻤﻐﺎﺭﺓ؟ ﻓﻬﻡ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﺭﺝ ﻻ ﻀـﻭﺀ ﻝﻬﻡ ،ﻤﺜﻠﻲ ...ﺇﺫﺍ ﺘﻐﺭﺒﺕ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻋﻨﻲ ...ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻏﺭﻴـﺏ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻷﺠﻭﺍﺀ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺩﺍﺨل" ﺩﺨﻠﻨﺎ ﺒﺎﺤﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﻐﺎﺭﺓ ،ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻤﻀﻴﺌﺔ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ،ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺍﻝﻌﻜـﺱ ﻤـﻥ ﻤﺩﺨﻠﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻅﻠﻡ ،ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﻭﻤﺎ ﻤﺄﻫﻭﻻ ،ﻤﻨﻀﺩﺓ ﺤﺠﺭﻴﺔ ﺒﻤﻘﺎﻋﺩ ﻭﺍﻝﺘﺠﺎﻭﻴﻑ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﻭﺍﺯﻴﺔ ﺍﻷﺸﻜﺎل ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﺩﺭﺍﻥ ﻻ ﺒﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺩ ﺒﺸﺭ ﺤﻔﺭﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻝﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﻗﺠﺎﺭﺍ ﺃﻭ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻤﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻘﺒﻴل. ﻓﻲ ﺨﻀﻡ ﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺩﻗﻘﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻗﺼﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻜـﺎﻥ ،ﻫﻨـﺎﻙ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺍﻝﺠﺩﺍﺭ ﻜﺘﺎﺒﺔ ﻤﺤﻔﻭﺭﺓ ﺒﺨﻁ ﻋﺭﻴﺽ ،ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻭﺍﻀﺤﺎ ﻝﺘﺭﺍﻜﻡ ﺍﻝﻐﺒـﺎﺭ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ. ﺃﻓﻜﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻜﺘﺎﺒﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﻘﻭﺸﺔ ...ﻭﻨﺎﺩﻴﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. "ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﻲ ﻤﻨﻲ ﻓﻬﻨﺎﻙ ﻨﻘﺵﹲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺠﺩﺍﺭ ،ﻝﻨﻘﺭﺃﻩ" "ﺩﻋﻨﻲ ﺃﺭﻴﻙ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺤﻔﺭ ﺫﺍﺕ ﺃﺸﻜﺎل ﻫﻨﺩﺴﻴﺔ ﻤﺘﻨﺎﺴﻘﺔ ﻭﻜﺄﻥ ﻨﺎﺤﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻬﻨﺩﺱ ﻤﺎﻫﺭ" ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. ﺍﺘﺠﻬﺕ ﻨﺤﻭﻫﺎ ﻭﻫﻲ ﺘﻤﻌﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ .ﺍﻝﺤﻔـﺭ ﻤﺘـﺴﺎﻭﻴﺔ ﺍﻷﻀـﻼﻉ ﻭﻋﺩﺩﻫﺎ ﺃﺭﺒﻌﺔ ،ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺔ ﺍﻝﻌﻠﻭﻴﺔ ﺃﺭﺒﻌﺔ ﺭﻓﻭﻑ ،ﻭﺃﺴﻔل ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﺃﺭﺒﻌﺔ 128
ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ،ﻭﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﺩﻨﻰ ﺍﺜﻨﺎﻥ ،ﻜﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﺨﺯﺍﻨﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﺌﻁ ،ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻝﻭﻀﻊ ﺃﻭﺍﻨﻲ ﻤﻨﺯﻝﻴﺔ ،ﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﺍﻝﺨﺯﺍﺌﻥ ﺍﻝﺼﺨﺭﻴﺔ ﻤﻨـﻀﺩﺓ ﻤـﺴﺘﻁﻴﻠﺔ ﻁﻭﻴﻠـﺔ ﻤﺭﺘﻔﻌﺔ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻻﻋﺘﻴﺎﺩﻴﺔ .ﺒﺘﺼﻭﺭﻱ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻝﻥ ﻴﺘﻤﻜﻥ ﺃﺤـﺩ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻭﺼﻭل ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻁﻌﺎﻡ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻻﺭﺘﻔﺎﻉ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺠﻠﻭﺱ. "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺘﻌﺎﻝﻲ ﻝﻨﺭﻯ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻨﻘﺵ" "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﻌﻨﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ؟" "ﺃﻻ ﺘﺴﻤﻌﻴﻨﻨﻲ؟ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻤﺤﻔﻭﺭ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﺌﻁ" "ﺃﻴﻥ ﻫﻭ؟" "ﺘﻌﺎﻝﻲ ﺍﻵﻥ ،ﻫﺫﻩ ﻫﻲ ﺍﻝﻜﺘﺎﺒﺔ ،ﺇﻨﻬﺎ ﺃﺤﺭﻑ ﻻﺘﻴﻨﻴﺔ" ﺃﺯﻝﺕ ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻘﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﺭﻭﻑ ﻭﺍﻝﻐﺒﺎﺭ ،ﻓﻬﻲ ﻤﺤﻔﻭﺭﺓ ﺒﺸﻜل ﻜﺒﻴﺭ ﻭﻭﺍﻀﺢ ،ﻜﺎﻥ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺤﻔﺭ " "Theodoraﻝﻡ ﻨﻌﺭﻑ ﻤـﺎ ﻫـﻭ ﺍﻝﻤﻌﻨﻰ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻘﺵ ،ﻁﺭﻴﻘﺔ ﺍﻝﺤﻔﺭ ﺩﻗﻴﻘﺔ ﻤﺘﻘﻨﺔ ...ﻭﺘﺴﺎﺅﻻﺕ ﻋﺩﻴـﺩﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻠﺤﻅﺔ ﺭﺍﻭﺩﺘﻨﺎ ...ﻤﻥ ﻫﻡ ﺃﻫل ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ؟ ﻭﻤﺘﻰ ﺴﻜﻥ؟
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ﻻ ﻴﺒﺩﻭ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻐﺎﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﻡ ،ﻜﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﺭﻜﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺯﻤﻥ ﻝﻴﺱ ﺒﺒﻌﻴـﺩ... ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻫﻨﺎ ﻴﺜﻴﺭ ﺍﻹﻋﺠﺎﺏ ...ﻋﺎﻝﻡ ﺁﺨﺭ ،ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻤﻜـﺎﻥ ﻏﺭﻴـﺏ، ﻋﺠﻴﺏ ،ﻓﻴﻪ ﺸﻲﺀ ﺠﺫﺍﺏ. ﻤﻨﺫ ﺩﺨﻠﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ﻭﺇﺸﺎﺭﺍﺕ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺓ ﺘﺩل ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﺠﻭﺩ ﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﻤـﻀﺕ، ﺨﺎﺼﺔ ﻫﻨﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﺤﻔﺭ "ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ". ﺼﺭﻨﺎ ﻨﻨﻅﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺯﻭﺍﻴﺎﻩ ﻨﺒﺤﺙ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻤﻥ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ. "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﻙ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﻫل ﻨﺨﺭﺝ؟ ﺃﻡ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺘﺭﻴﺩﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺒﻘﺎﺀ ﺒﺭﻫـﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺯﻤﻥ؟" "ﻻ ...ﻻ ﻓﺎﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻗﻀﻴﻨﺎﻩ ﻴﻜﻔﻲ ،ﻭﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺭﺃﻴﻨﺎﻫﺎ ﻜـل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻫﻨﺎ" ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﺼﻠﺕ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺠﻤﻴﻊ ﺃﺭﺠﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ،ﺘﺸﻴﺭ ﺒﻴﺩﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﺘﻭﻤﺊ ﺒﻌﻴﻨﻬﺎ ﻝﺨﺭﻭﺠﻨﺎ. "ﻫﻴﺎ ،ﺇﺫﺍ ﺃﺭﺩﺕ ﺍﻝﺨﺭﻭﺝ! ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﺴﺘﻌﺩﺓ" ﺨﺭﺠﻨﺎ ﻭﺘﺭﻜﻨﺎ ﻭﺭﺍﺀﻨﺎ ﺃﺴﺌﻠﺔ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﺠﻭﺒﺔ .ﻫـﺫﺍ ﻋﺎﺼـﻑ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻻﻨﺘﻅﺎﺭ ،ﻓﻘﺩ ﺃﺨﺫ ﻗﺴﻁﺎ ﻭﺍﻓﺭﺍ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﺍﺤﺔ ﻭﺍﻝﺘﺄﻤل ﺃﺜﻨـﺎﺀ ﻭﺠﻭﺩﻨـﺎ 130
ﺩﺍﺨل ﺍﻝﻤﻐﺎﺭﺓ ،ﺭﺁﺀﻨﺎ ،ﺼﺎﺭ ﻴﻬﺯ ﺒﺭﺃﺴﻪ ،ﻴﺼﻬل ،ﻴﺤﺭﻙ ﺒﻘﺩﻤﻴﻪ ،ﻤل ﺍﻻﻨﺘﻅﺎﺭ ،ﺭﻜﺒﺘﻪ ﺃﻭﻻ ﻜﻌﺎﺩﺘﻲ ،ﻭﻤﻥ ﺜﻡ ﺃﺨﺫﺕ ﺒﻴﺩ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﺃﺠﻠـﺴﺘﻬﺎ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ﺃﺘﻤﺘﻊ ﺒﻭﺠﻭﺩﻫﺎ ﻤﻌﻲ ...ﺠـﺴﺩﻫﺎ ﻤـﺎﺯﺍل ﻴﺜﻴﺭﻨـﻲ ،ﻴﺘﻭﺤـﺩ ﺒﺭﻏﺒﺎﺘﻲ ،ﻴﻤﻨﺤﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﻭﻜﺒﺭﻴﺎﺌﻲ. "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺘﺤﻴﻜﻴﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺠﺴﺩﻙ ﻋﺒﺎﺀﺘﻲ ﺃﺘﺠﻤل ﺒﻬـﺎ ﻭﺃﺭﻗﻰ ،ﺍﻝﺘﺼﻘﻲ ﺒﻲ ،ﺃﺤﻀﻨﻴﻨﻲ ،ﺸﺩﻴﻨﻲ ،ﺘﻤـﺴﻜﻲ ﺒـﻲ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﻻ ﺘﺴﻘﻁﻴﻥ ﻭﺃﺤﺒﻙ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ،ﺇﻥ ﺃﺭﺍﺩ ﺍﷲ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺄﺨﺫﻨﺎ ،ﻋﻠﻪ ﻴﺄﺨـﺫ ﺒﺭﺠـﺎﺌﻲ ﺃﻭﻻ ،ﻴﺄﺨﺫﻨﺎ ﻤﻌﺎ ،ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﷲ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻘﺒل ﺍﺒﺘﻬﺎﻝﻲ ﻭﺩﻋﺎﺌﻲ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻨﻲ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺤﻭﺭﻴﺘﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﻨﺔ ،ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﺤﺩﺍ ﺴﻭﺍﻙ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﻭﻝﻥ ﺃﺤﺏ ﺤﻭﺭﻴـﺔ ﻏﻴﺭﻙ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺘـﻲ ﺴـﺄﺤﺏ ﻭﺴـﺘﺒﻘﻰ ﺍﻷﻭﻝـﻰ ﻭﺍﻷﺨﻴﺭﺓ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﻬﺎ ،ﺒﺤﺒﻬﺎ ،ﺒﺴﻌﺎﺩﺘﻲ ﻭﺃﻨﻲ ﻓﻌﻼ ﺃﻋﻴﺵ، ﺃﻋﻴﺵ ﻜﻠﻤﺔ ﻓﻬﻤﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﻋﺭﻓﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﺴﺘﻤﺘﻌﺕ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼﻝﻙ ﻓﻘﻁ ،ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻫﺎ ﻤﻊ ﻏﻴﺭﻙ ،ﻭﺇﻥ ﻜﺘﺏ ﻝﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﻨﺔ ﺒﺄﻨـﻙ ﻝـﻥ ﺘﻜـﻭﻨﻲ ﺤﻭﺭﻴﺘﻲ ،ﻓﺴﺄﺘﺒﺘل ﷲ ،ﺃﺩﻋﻭﻩ ،ﺃﻋﺒﺩﻩ ،ﺃﺼﻠﻲ ﻝﻪ ،ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻩ ،ﻭﺃﺨﺫ ﻤـﻥ ﻲ ﺤﺒﻙ ﺠﺭﻋﺎﺕ ﻤﻀﺎﻋﻔﺔ ﻭﺃﻤﻭﺕ ﺒﻌﺩﻫﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺁﺨﺭ ﻨﻔـﺱ ﻓـ ﻨﺎﻁﻘﺎ ﺒﺤﺒﻙ ...ﻤﺨﻠﺼﺎ ﻝﻙ ،ﻭﺒﺎﻗﻴﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻋﻬﺩﻙ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﺼل ﺍﻝﻘﻠﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻤﺭﺤﻠﺔ ﻴﻘﻑ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﺒﺽ ﻷﻨﻪ ﻋﺭﻑ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻝﻥ ﻴﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻨـﺒﺽ ﺒﻐﻴﺭﻙ ،ﻭﻴﺼﺩﺭ ﺍﻝﻘﻠﺏ ﺃﻤﺭﺍ ﻝﻠﺠﺴﺩ ﺒﺄﻥ ﻻ ﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻻ ﻤﺘﻌﺔ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻭﻻ ﻝﺫﺓ ﻤﻥ ﻏﻴﺭ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ...ﺇﻨﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ﺴﺘﺄﺨﺫ ﺒـﺄﻤﺭﻱ 131
ﻭﺘﻤﻭﺕ ﻤﻌﻲ ﻤﺠﺒﺭﺍ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻻ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻝﻐﻴﺭ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻻ ﻭﻝـﻥ ﺘﻜـﻭﻥ ﺇﻻ ﻤﻌﻬﺎ .ﺩﻋﻭﺕ ﺍﷲ ﻴﺎ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺒﺄﻥ ﻻ ﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ،ﻓـﺈﻥ ﺃﺘـﻰ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺨﻠﻁ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺭﻭﺍﺤﻨﺎ ﻋﺯﺍ ﻻ ﻴﻘﺴﻡ ﺇﻻ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﻨـﺔ ،ﻨﺤـﻥ ﺃﺼـﺤﺎﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﻋﺭﻭﺴﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺇﻥ ﺍﷲ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻗﺩﺴﻙ ،ﻫﻭ ﺃﻋﻠﻡ ﺒﺤﺒﻲ ﻝﻙ ﻭﺘﻌﻠﻘﻲ ،ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺩﻭﻨﻙ ﺸﺭﻴﺩ ،ﺘﺎﺌﻪ ﻭﻻ ﻜﺭﺍﻤﺔ ...ﺇﻥ ﻗﺩﺭ ﻝﻲ ﻓﺴﺄﺅﻤﻥ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺃﻨـﺕ ﻗﺩﺭﻱ ،ﻝﻥ ﺃﺘﻨﺎﺯل ﻋﻨﻙ ،ﺴﺄﺭﺒﻁ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺨﺼﺭﻱ ﻭﺜﺎﻗﺎ ﺃﺸﺩﻩ ﺒﻘـﺩﻤﻴﻙ ﻭﻝﻥ ﺘﺴﻘﻁﻲ ﺇﻻ ﻤﻌﻲ ...ﺴﺄﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻨﻙ ﻓـﻲ ﻋﺭﺼـﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻔـﺭﺩﻭﺱ ﻭﺃﻗﺒﻠﻙ ...ﻫل ﺴﻌﺎﺩﺘﻲ ﻭﻝﺩﺕ ﻤﻥ ﻓﺭﺍﻍ؟ ﻗﻠﺏ ﻜﺎﻝـﺫﻱ ﻴﺘﻤﻠﻜـﻙ... ﻭﺒﻴﺎﺽ ﻋﺯﻙ ﺒﻴﺘﺕ ﻝﻪ ﺍﻝﻌﺠﻡ ...ﺃﻻ ﺃﺒﻜﻲ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﺇﻥ ﺨﻴﻤﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺒﺎﺒﻙ ﻜﺘﺎﺌﺏ ﺍﻝﻐﻨﻡ؟"
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﻋﺎﺼﻑ ﻤﺎﺯﺍل ﺩﻝﻴﻠﻨﺎ ،ﻴﺄﺨﺫﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﻴﺙ ﺸﺎﺀ "ﻫل ﺘﻌﻠﻤﻴﻥ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺒﺎﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﺠﻭل ﻓﻲ ﺨﺎﻁﺭﻱ؟" "ﻭﻜﻴﻑ ﻝﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ؟ ﺃﺨﺒﺭﻨﻲ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻴﺩﻭﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺨﻠﺩﻙ ،ﺃﻝﺴﺕ ﺃﻨـﺎ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺤﺏ ﻭﺘﻌﺸﻕ؟ ﺃﻭﻝﺴﺕ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻷﻤﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺜﻕ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﺘﺼﺩﻕ؟ ﺃﻨـﺎ ﻻ ﻲ ﻭﺃﺫﻝﻕ ،ﺃﻝﺴﺕ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺤﻤﻴـﻙ ﻤـﻥ ﺃﺒﻜﻴﻙ ﻭﺇﻥ ﺍﺴﺘﻔﺤل ﺍﻝﻭﺠﻊ ﺒ ﺠﻨﻭﻨﻙ ﻭﻗﺭﺒﻙ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻻﻨﺤﺭﺍﻑ ﻭﺍﻝﺯﻝل؟ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻋﺩﻝﻙ ،ﻨﺼﺏ ﻗﺎﻤﺘﻙ ﻭﺠﻔﻔﻙ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺒﻠل ﻭﻻ ﺃﻓﺨﺭ ...ﺤﻤﻠﺘﻙ ﺤﺴﻨﺎ ،ﻅﻼ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻜﻔﻲ ،ﻓـﻭﻕ ﺍﻝﺒﺸﺭ ﻜﻔﻨﻲ ﺘﺴﺎﻨﺩﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺒﻁﺎﺌﺢ ﺍﻝﺭﻤل ،ﻭﻫل ﻴﻌﻴﺒﻨﻲ ﺇﻥ ﻗﺎﻝﻭﺍ ﻋﻨﻲ ﻴﻭﻤﺎ ﺨﺭﺠﺕ؟" "ﻻ ...ﻻ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﻨﻲ ﻫﺫﺍ ﻜﻠﻪ ،ﺇﻨﻙ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻝـﻲ، ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﻓﻜﺭﺕ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺒﻙ ،ﺃﺨﺸﻰ ﺍﻝﺩﻨﻴﺎ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﻭﻓﺎﻝﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻜﻡ ﺩﻓﻌﺘﻲ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻀﻴﻕ ﻭﻤﻠﻤﺔ ﻤﻥ ﻏﻴﺭ ﻤﻨﻥ ﻭﻫﻲ ﻤﻊ ﺍﻝﺸﻬﺒﺎﺀ ﻫﺎﻨﺌﺔ ﺍﻝﺒﺎل ﻻ ﻫﻤـﻭﻡ ﻝﻬﺎ ،ﺘﺭﻴﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﻭﻕ ﺘﹸﺤﻴﻙ ،ﺘﺤﻀﻨﻙ ﻭﻫﻲ ﻤﻊ ﺍﻝﺠﻼﺩ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﻠﻴـل ﺘﹶﺤﻴﻙ ﻝﻙ ﻷﻨﻬﺎ ﺴﺘﺒﻜﻴﻙ" "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﻌﻨﻲ؟ ﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﺠﺒﺭﻙ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻜﻼﻡ ﺒﻬـﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺠﺩﻴـﺔ ﺍﻝﻐﻴـﺭ ﻤﻌﺘﺎﺩﺓ؟" 134
"ﻨﻌﻡ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺕ ﺤﺎﻤﻼ ﻭﺘﺭﻜﺒﻴﻥ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﺼﺎﻥ ،ﺃﻨـﺕ ﻗﻭﻴـﺔ، ﺼﺎﻤﺩﺓ ﻨﻌﻡ ...ﺃﻻ ﻴﺸﻜل ﻝﻙ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺨﻁﺭﺍ ﺒﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﺸﻬﺭ ﺍﻷﻭﻝـﻰ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﻤل؟ ﺃﻝﻡ ﺘﺴﻤﻌﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻷﺸﻬﺭ ﺍﻷﻭﻝﻰ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﻤل ﺃﺨﻁﺭﻫﺎ؟" "ﺒﻠﻰ ...ﺒﻠﻰ ...ﻭﻝﻜﻥ"!... "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺒﻙ؟ ﻫل ﺘﺎﻩ ﺍﻝﻜﻼﻡ ﻓﻲ ﺤﻨﺎﻴﺎﻙ؟" "ﻻ ...ﻭﻝﻜﻨﻲ ﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﺕ ﺃﺸﻙ ﻭﻝﺴﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻴﻘﻴﻥ ،ﺇﻥ ﺠﻤﻴﻊ ﺍﻹﺸﺎﺭﺍﺕ ﺘﻘﻭل ﺃﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺤﻤل! ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﺴﺘﻌﺩﺓ ﻭﻜﺎﻤﻠﺔ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻭﺝ ﻋـﺯﻱ ﻱ ﺘﺘﻸﻷ ﻤﻥ ﻏﻴﺭ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻜﺘﺤل ...ﺇﺫﺍ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻓﻤﺘﻰ؟ ﻭﻋﻴﻨﺎ ﺃﻭﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﻓﻜﺭﺘﻙ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺭﻜﺏ ﺨﻠﻔﻙ!" "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ؟ ...ﺒﻠﻰ ﻓﻜﺭﺘﻲ ،ﻫل ﺭﻜﻭﺒﻙ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻴﺸﻜل ﺨﻁﺭﺍ؟" "ﻻ ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ،ﻓﺎﻝﺤﻤل ﻤﺎﺯﺍل ﻓﻲ ﺒﺩﺍﻴﺘﻪ ،ﻭﺭﻏﻤﺎ ﻋﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﻓﻬﻭ ﻴﺘﺒﺨﺘﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻋﺩﻭﻩ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺄﻱ ﺘﻌﺏ ،ﻭﺃﻨـﺕ ﻤﻌـﻲ ،ﺃﻻ ﺘـﺴﻨﺩﻨﻲ ﺇﻥ ﺨﺎﻨﺘﻨﻲ ﻗﺩﺭﺘﻲ؟" "ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺃﺭﻀﻙ ﺴﻴﺭﻱ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﺇﻥ ﺘﺭﻨﺤﺘﻲ ﺴﺄﻨﻭﺥ ﻭﺃﺸﺩ ﻤﻌﺼﻤﻙ. 135
ﺃﻨﻅﺭﻱ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ،ﺃﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺒﺎﺤﺔ؟" "ﺃﻴﻥ ﺘﻌﻨﻲ؟ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺴﻭﻯ ﺃﻋﺸﺎﺏ ﻭﺃﺸﺠﺎﺭ" "ﺃﻨﻅﺭﻱ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ،ﺘﺒﺩﻭ ﺒﺎﺤﺔ ،ﻗﺩ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺃﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﺃﻗل ﻜﺜﺎﻓﺔ ﻤـﻥ ﻫﻨﺎ" ﺼﺎﺭﺕ ﺍﻝﺭﺅﻴﺎ ﺘﺘﻀﺢ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻓﺸﻲﺀ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺼﺭﻨﺎ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﻤﻘﺭﺒـﺔ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ...ﺇﻨﻬﺎ ﺒﺎﺤﺔ ﺨﻀﺭﺍﺀ ﻭﺍﺴﻌﺔ. "ﺇﻨﻬﺎ ﻓﻌﻼ ﻜﻤﺎ ﺍﻋﺘﻘﺩﺕ" ﺒﻘﻴﻨﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﻤﺩﺨﻠﻬﺎ ،ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻤﺘﺴﻌﺔ ،ﺤﻭﻝﻬﺎ ﺴـﻴﺎﺝ ﺨـﺸﺒﻲ ﻤﺭﺘﻔﻊ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﻭﻴﺸﺩﻩ ﺜﻼﺜﺔ ﺨﺸﺒﺎﺕ ﺃﻓﻘﻴﺔ ،ﻴﻀﻤﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺠﻤﻴـﻊ ﺠﻬﺎﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻴﺒﺩﻭ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺤﺔ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻤﺯﺭﻋﺔ ﻤﺎﺸﻴﺔ ﺃﻭ ﺃﺒﻘﺎﺭ ،ﺃﻭ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻤﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻘﺒﻴل ﻝﻠﺨﻴل ﺃﻭ ﺸﻲ ﻜﻬﺫﺍ ،ﻝﻜﻥ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺃﻱ ﺃﺜﺭ ﻝﻠﻤﺎﺸـﻴﺔ، ﻓﺎﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﻨﻅﻴﻑ ،ﻭﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻋﻼﻤـﺎﺕ ﻝﻭﺠـﻭﺩ ﺃﻱ ﻨـﻭﻉ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﻭﺍﻨﺎﺕ. ﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﻨﺎ ﻨﺴﻴﺭ ﻗﺭﻴﺒﻴﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻑ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﺸﻕ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ﻨﺼﻔﻴﻥ. "ﻝﻨﻌﺒﺭ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺤﺔ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺎﺒﻠﺔ" "ﻭﻝﻤﺎ ﻻ؟ ﻫﻴﺎ ﻨﺩﺨل" 136
"ﺃﻨﻅﺭﻱ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺎﻋﺩ ﺍﻝﺨﺸﺒﻴﺔ" "ﻤﻘﺎﻋﺩ ﺸﺠﺭﻴﺔ!" "ﺃﻗﺼﺩ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﻁﻭﻋﺔ ،ﻓﺎﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﻜﻤـﺎ ﻴﺒـﺩﻭ ﻜـﺎﻥ ﻤﻠـﻲﺀ ﺒﺎﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ،ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﺸﺨﺹ ﻤﺎ ﺍﻗﺘﻁﻊ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻘﺴﻡ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ﻤﺯﺭﻋﺔ ﻝـﻪ، ﺃﺘﺭﻴﻥ؟ ﺒﻘﺎﻴﺎ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﻜﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﻤﻘﺎﻋﺩ ،ﺇﻨﻬﺎ ﺠﺎﻓﺔ ﻭﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺸﻘﻭﻕ ﻭﺍﺴﻌﺔ ﻗﺩ ﻤﻀﻰ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﺒﺎﻝﺘﺄﻜﻴﺩ ﺴﻨﻴﻥ" ﺨﺭﺠﻨﺎ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﻭﺩﺨﻠﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ...ﻨﺴﻤﻊ ﺍﻨﺴﻴﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﻤﻴﺎﻩ ،ﺒﺩﺍ ﻝﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﺒﻴﺕ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻜﺎﻝﺘﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﻁﻘﺔ ،ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜـﻥ ﺴـﻭﻯ ﺩﻗﺎﺌﻕ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺼﺭﻨﺎ ﻨﻘﻑ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺤﺎﻓﺔ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ،ﺃﺠﻤل ﻀﻔﺔ ﻝﻠﻨﻬﺭ ﺭﺃﻴﻨﺎﻫﺎ ﻫﻨﺎ ﺤﻴﺙ ﻨﺤﻥ ﺍﻵﻥ ،ﺃﺭﺽ ﻭﺍﺴﻌﺔ ﺨﻀﺭﺍﺀ ﻤﻤﺩﻭﺩﺓ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﻁﺭﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ،ﻤﺯﺭﻭﻋﺔ ﺒﺎﻝﺨﻀﺭﻭﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﻌﺩﻴﺩﺓ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﻨﻭﻋﺔ ،ﻭﺒﻴﺕ ﻴﺯﻴﻥ ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻑ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ،ﻴﻌﻁﻲ ﻝﻠﻨﻬﺭ ﻭﻀﻔﺘﻴﻪ ﺼﻭﺭﺓ ﺭﺍﺌﻌﺔ ﺘﺩل ﻋﻠﻰ ﺤﺱ ﺴﺎﻜﻨﻪ ،ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺒﻨﺎﺌﻪ ﻜﺒﻘﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﻭﺕ ،ﺴﻘﻔﻪ ﺩﺍﺌﺭﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺸﻜل ﻜﻭﺥ ﻤﻨﺴﻭﺝ ﻤـﻥ ﺃﻋﺸﺎﺏ ﻁﻭﻴﻠﺔ ﻜﺎﻝﺘﻲ ﺭﺃﻴﻨﺎﻫﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﺩﺨل ﺍﻝﻤﻐﺎﺭﺓ ،ﻝﻭﻨﻬﺎ ﻫﻨـﺎ ﺒﻨـﻲ ﺩﺍﻜﻥ ﻗﺩ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻝﻤﺭﻭﺭ ﺍﻝﺯﻤﻥ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ،ﺠﺩﺭﺍﻨﻪ ﺘﺤﻤل ﺫﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﻠﻭﻥ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ، ﻁﻭﺒﻬﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻜﺤﺠﺎﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﺒﻨﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻤﻌﺘﺎﺩﺓ ﻤـﻥ ﺤـﺼﻰ ﺍﻝﻨﻬـﺭ ﺍﻝﻤﻠﺴﺎﺀ ،ﻗﻁﻊ ﺯﺒﺭﺠﺩ ﻭﺃﺤﺠﺎﺭ ﻜﺭﻴﻤﺔ ...ﺃﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺔ ﺍﻝﺨﻠﻔﻴﺔ ﻝﻠﺒﻴـﺕ ﺤﻴﺙ ﺃﺘﻴﻨﺎ ﺤﺩﻴﻘﺔ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﻤﺯﺭﻭﻋﺔ ﺒﺎﻝﺨﻀﺭﻭﺍﺕ ﻤﺘﻨﺎﺴـﻘﺔ ﺃﻝﻭﺍﻨﻬـﺎ 137
ﻴﺭﻯ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺫﻭﻕ ﺯﺍﺭﻋﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻭﺤﺔ ﻓﻨﻴﺔ ﻋﻜﺴﻬﺎ ﺼﺎﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﻤﻜـﺎﻥ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺃﺭﺽ ﺍﻝﻭﺍﻗﻊ ،ﻓﻴﻼﺤﻅ ﻫﻨﺎ ﻷﻭل ﻭﻫﻠﺔ ﻨﺸﺎﻁﻪ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﻤﻴﺯ ﻝﻠﻐﺎﻴﺔ ﻭﺍﻫﺘﻤﺎﻡ ﻜﺒﻴﺭ ﺒﺨﻀﺭﺘﻪ ،ﺘﺒﺩﻭ ﺃﻨﺎﻗﺘﻪ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼل ﺇﺒﺩﺍﻋﻪ ﻓﻴﻬـﺎ ،ﺼـﻭﺭﺓ ﻝـﻪ ﺘﺠﺴﺩﺕ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻨﺯﻝﻪ ...ﻜل ﺜﻼﺜﺔ ﺃﻭ ﺃﺭﺒﻌﺔ ﺃﺴﺭﺍﺏ ﺨﻀﺭﺓ ﺘﺤﻤل ﻝﻭﻥ ﻭﺍﺤﺩ ﻭﺒﺜﻤﺎﺭ ﺘﺨﺘﻠﻑ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻷﺨﺭﻯ. "ﻨﻌﻡ ...ﻓﺎﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﻌﻁﻲ ﺼﻭﺭﺓ ﻝﻨﻔﺴﻪ ﺃﻋﻡ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻱ ﻭﺼﻑ ﺴﺄﺼﻔﻪ، ﺹ ﺁﺨﺭ ،ﻫﻭ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺎﻴﻴﺱ ﺘﺤﻔﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﻌﺔ... ﺃﻨﺕ ﺃﻭ ﺃﻱ ﺸﺨ ﹴ ﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﻙ ﻫل ﻨﻘﺭﻉ ﺒﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ؟" "ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺸﻌﻭﺭ ﻴﻨﺘﺎﺒﻨﻲ! ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺘﻜﻠﻡ ﻤﻊ ﻜل ﻤﻥ ﻴﻘﺎﺒﻠﻨـﺎ ،ﻓـﻨﺤﻥ ﻭﺤﺩﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﻭﻫﺫﺍ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻁﺒﻴﻌﻲ ﺒﺎﻋﺘﻘﺎﺩﻱ ﺃﻥ ﻨﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﻤـﻊ ﻤﻥ ﻨﺭﺍﻩ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺭﺤﻠﺔ ،ﻫل ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﺤﻘﺔ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ؟" "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﻤﻠﻙ ﺇﻻ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﻁﻴﻙ ﺨﺘﻤﺎ ﺒﻤﻭﺍﻓﻘﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﺩﺍﺌﻤﺔ" "ﺃﺘﻬﺯﺃ ﺒﻲ؟" ﻀﺤﻜﺕ ﻭﻗﻠﺕ" :ﻻ ﻴﺎ ﻏﺎﻝﻴﺔ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻝـﻡ ﻭﻝـﻥ ﺃﻫـﺯﺃ ﻻ ﺒـﻙ ﻭﻻ ﺒﻜﻼﻤﻙ ،ﻻ ﺒل ﺃﻭﺍﻓﻘﻙ ﺍﻝﺭﺃﻱ ﻗﻠﺒﺎ ﻭﻗﺎﻝﺒﺎ ،ﻝﻜﻨﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﻭﺍﻓﻘـﻙ ﺍﻝﺭﺃﻱ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻴﻀﺤﻙ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻭﺘﻌﻠﻭ ﻭﺠﻬﻲ ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ،ﻗﺩ ﻴﺭﺍﻫﺎ ﺍﻵﺨـﺭﻭﻥ ﻫﺯﻭﺀ ،ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻨﺕ! ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻴﻭﻡ ،ﻓﻲ ﻜـل 138
ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺍﺡ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺼﺎﺤﺒﺘﻪ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻜﻥ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ،ﺃﺭﻯ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻤـﻥ ﺨﻼﻝـﻙ، ﻭﻜﻴﻑ ﺃﻻﻨﻨﻲ ﺤﺒﻙ ،ﺼﺭﺕ ﺴﻠﺴﺎ ،ﺴﻬﻼ ﻭﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺃﻱ ﻨﻭﻉ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﻌﺎﺭﻀﺔ ﻤﻌﻙ ،ﺤﺘﻰ ﺒﺄﺸﻴﺎﺌﻙ ﺍﻝﺒﺴﻴﻁﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻴﻘﺎل ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻌﺘـﺎﺩ ﻨﻌﻡ ﺃﻭ ﻻ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﻌﻙ ﻻ ﺃﻤﻠﻙ ﺇﻻ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻗﻭل ﻨﻌﻡ ،ﺍﻝﻤﻭﺍﻓﻘﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺨـﺭﺝ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺤﺸﺎﺌﻲ ﺒﻜﺎﻤل ﺭﻀﺎﻱ ،ﻭﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﻗﻭل ﻨﻌﻡ ،ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒـﺎﻝﺘﻐﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﺠﺫﺭﻱ ﺍﻻﻴﺠﺎﺒﻲ ،ﺤﻭﻝﺘﻲ ﺍﻻﻨﻘﻼﺏ ﺍﻝﺫﺍﺘﻲ ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ،ﺜـﻭﺭﺓ ،ﻭﻻﺀ... ﺴﻘﻭﻁ ﺒﻴﻥ ﻴﺩﻴﻙ ﻭﻓﻲ ﺴﺭﻴﺭﻙ" "ﺃﻜل ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻜﻼﻡ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺴﻤﻌﻪ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼﻝﻲ؟ ﺃﻫﻭ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻓﻌﻼ ﻤـﻥ ﺃﺜﺎﺭ ﻓﻴﻙ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻹﻨﺴﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﻗﻴﻕ؟ ﺃﻡ ﺃﻨﻙ ﻓﻘﻁ ﺍﻝﺭﺠل ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻋﺭﻓﺘﻪ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﻻ ﻴﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺇﻻ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﻨﻴﻘﺎ ﺠﺩﺍ ﺒﻜﻼﻤﻪ ﻤﻌﻲ؟ ﻤﺠـﺎﻤﻼ ،ﻅﺭﻴﻔـﺎ ﻭﺤﺭﻴﺼﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﻱ" "ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻴﺭﺴﻡ ﺍﻝﻔﻨﺎﻥ ﻝﻭﺤﺔ ،ﺃﻭ ﺒﺎﻷﺤﺭﻯ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻴﺒـﺩﺃ ﺃﻻ ﻴﺤﺘـﺎﺝ ﻝﻔﻜﺭﺓ؟ ﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﻴﺒﺩﺃ ﺍﻝﺸﺎﻋﺭ ﻜﺘﺎﺒﺘﻪ ﺃﻻ ﻴﺤﺘﺎﺝ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺠﻨﻴﺔ ﻜﻲ ﺘﻌﻁﻴـﻪ ﻭﺤﻴﺎ ﻝﻘﺼﻴﺩﺓ؟ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﻔﻜﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺭﺴﻤﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻔﻨﺎﻥ ﺃﺠﻤل ﻝﻭﺤﺎﺘﻪ ،ﻭﻫـﻲ ﺍﻷﺜﻤﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻡ! ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﻘﺼﻴﺩﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺠﻤﻊ ﺍﻝﺸﻌﺭﺍﺀ ﻋﻠﻴﻬـﺎ ﺒﺄﻨﻬـﺎ ﺍﻷﻜﺜﺭ ﻏﺯﻻ ﻤﻥ ﻜل ﺍﻝﻘﺼﺎﺌﺩ ﻭﺒﻠﻐﺎﺘﻬﻡ ﻗﺎﻁﺒﺔ ،ﻭﻝﻡ ﻻ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ؟ ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺍﻷﻭﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺴﺭﻗﺕ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻭﺍﻷﺨﻴﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻤﺯﻗﺘﻪ ﻭﺃﺤﺒﻬﺎ ...ﻭﻝﻡ ﻻ؟ ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﻭﺤﺩﻙ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻴﻥ ﻨﺴﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻡ ﺒﻴﻥ ﻴﺩﻴﻬﺎ ﺃﺒﻜﻲ ﻤﺜل ﻁﻔل ﻓـﻲ 139
ﺃﺤﻀﺎﻥ ﺃﻤﻪ ،ﺒﻜﻰ ﻷﻨﻪ ﺃﺤﺱ ﻓﻲ ﻝﺤﻅﺔ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﺴﺘﺘﺭﻜﻪ ﻭﺘﺫﻫﺏ ،ﻭﻝـﻡ ﻻ؟ ﻭﻗﺩ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺘﻙ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻤﺭ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻌﺭﻓﻲ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻜﻠﻤﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻡ ﻻﺒﻨﺘﻬﺎ ﺘﻘﻭﻝﻬﺎ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺴﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼﻝﻬﺎ ،ﺤﺏ ﻝـﻡ ﻴﻌﺭﻓـﻪ ﺴﻭﺍﻫﺎ ،ﺃﻝﻡ ﺘﻌﺭﻓﻲ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﺭﺠﺎل ﻓﻴﻪ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺤﺭﻗﺔ؟ ﺤﻴﺭﺓ ،ﻝﻭﻋﺔ، ﻭﺩﻤﻌﺔ؟ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺘﻙ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻤﺭ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺴﺘﻁﻴﻌﻲ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻓﻬﻡ ﺩﻤﻭﻋﻲ ﻭﻤﻌﺎﻨﺎﺘﻲ ،ﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﺕ ﻁﻔﻠﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺤﺒﻲ ﺍﻝﻜﺒﻴﺭ ﻝﻙ ،ﻓﺼﻌﺏ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﻓﻬﻤـﻪ ،ﻫـﻭ ﻤﺜـل ﺍﻝﻔﻠﺴﻔﺔ ﻝﻸﻁﻔﺎل ،ﺃﺘﻌﺭﻓﻲ ﻤﺘﻰ ﺃﺤﺯﻥ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ؟" ﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﺯﻥ ﻝﺤﻅﺘﻬﺎ! ﺒﺩﺍ ﻋﻠ "ﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﺘﻘﻭل ﻝﻲ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ ﺍﻵﻥ ،ﺃﺠﺒﻨﻲ ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﻨﻅﺭ ﻫﻜـﺫﺍ ﺤﺯﻴﻨـﺎ ﻭﺤﺭﻭﻓﻙ ﺘﻘﻁﻌﺕ؟" "ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺠﻠﺱ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﻭﺃﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﻤﻌﻙ ﻭﺃﺼﻑ ﻤﺩﻯ ﺤﺒﻲ ﺍﻝﻜﺒﻴﺭ ﻝﻙ، ﻤﻨﻔﻌﻼ ،ﻜل ﺃﺤﺸﺎﺌﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﺸﺎﻫﻘﺔ ﻭﺒﻙ ﻋﺎﺸﻘﺔ ،ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﻭﻤﻨﺎ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻭﺒﺤﺭﻭﻓﻲ ﻋﺎﺠﺯ ﻋﻥ ﻭﺼﻑ ﻗﺭﺏ ﺭﻭﺤﻲ ﻭﻋﻨﺎﻗﺎﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻨﻙ ،ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﻴﻘﻭل ﺃﻨﻙ ﺭﻏﻡ ﻤﺎ ﺘﻘﻭﻝﻴﻥ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻌﺭﻓﻲ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻤﺩﻯ ﺫﻝـﻙ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﺍﻝﺩﻓﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﻜﻨﻪ ﻝﻙ ،ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺠﺯﺀ ﻤﻥ ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ﻭﺭﻭﺤـﻲ... ﺃﻋﺫﺭﻴﻨﻲ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻌﻲ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﻜﺒﻴﺭ ...ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ ﺒﺄﻥ ﻝﻐﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﺠﻤﻴﻊ ﻝﻐﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻡ ﻻ ﺘﺴﺎﻋﺩﻨﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻭﺼﻑ ﺤﺒـﻲ ﻝـﻙ ،ﺃﻨـﺎ
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ﺒﺤﺎﺠﺔ ﻝﺤﺭﻭﻓﻙ ﻭﻤﺼﻁﻠﺤﺎﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻜﻲ ﺃﺴـﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺼـﻭﺭ، ﺃﺠﺴﺩ ﻝﻙ ﺒﻌﻀﺎ ﻤﻨﻪ" "ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﻘﻭل ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻜﻼﻡ؟ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺭﺠل ﺍﻝﻭﺤﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺤﺏ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﺘﻠﻤﺫﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻴﺩﻴﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻭل ﻤﺩﺭﺴﺔ ﻜﻨﺕ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻭﺤﺩﻙ ﻤﻌﻠﻤﺎ ،ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻭﺤﺩﻱ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺘﻠﻤﻴﺫﺓ ،ﺩﺨﻠﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﻤﺩﺭﺴﺘﻙ ...ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﺄﺘﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻨﺎ ﻭﺃﻋﻤل ﻝﻙ ﺼﺤﻥ ﺍﻝﻠﺒﻥ ﺒﺎﻝﺴﻜﺭ ﺍﻝﻤﻌﺘﺎﺩ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻭﻀﻊ ﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺴﻜﺭ ﻭﻝﻡ ﺃﺴﻤﺢ ﻷﺤﺩ ﻏﻴﺭﻱ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻘﺩﻤﻪ ﻝﻙ ،ﺃﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺒﺸﻲﺀ ﻏﺭﻴﺏ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻌﻤﺭ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺘﺯﻭﺭﻨﺎ ،ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ ﻨﻭﻤﻲ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺴﻤﺎﻉ ﺼﻭﺘﻙ ﺃﻤﻌﻥ ﻓﻲ ﻭﺠﻬﻲ ﻭﺃﺴﺭﺡ ﺸﻌﺭﻱ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻤـﻲ ﻗـﺩ ﺴﺭﺤﺘﻪ ﻝﻲ ﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﺘﺄﺘﻲ ﺒﻠﺤﻅﺎﺕ ،ﺃﺤﻤل ﻓﺴﺘﺎﻨﻲ ﻭﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺄﻨﻪ ﻻ ﻴﻠﻴﻕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺨﺭﺡ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﻓﻴﻪ ...ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﺎﺭﺘﺒﺎﻙ ﻴﻔﻘﺩﻨﻲ ﻗﺩﺭﺘﻲ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺍﻝﻅﻬـﻭﺭ ﺒﻬﻴﺌﺔ ﺃﺠﻤل ﻤﻥ ﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻷﺤﻴﺎﻥ ﻭﺍﻷﻭﻗﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻓـﻲ ﺒﻴﺘﻨﺎ ،ﻭﺃﻗﻑ ﻝﺤﻅﺔ ﺃﺴﺘﺭﺩ ﺃﻨﻔﺎﺴﻲ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﺨﺭﺝ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﺒﻌﻴﻨـﺎﻥ ﺘـﺩﻻﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺜﻘﺔ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺫﺍﺘﻲ ﺃﺼﻁﻨﻌﻬﺎ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻙ ...ﺃﻓﻘـﺩﻫﺎ ﺩﻭﻤـﺎ ﻋﻨـﺩ ﺭﺅﻴﺎﻙ ،ﺃﺨﺭﺝ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﻭﺭﺠﻔﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﺃﺨﻔﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺠﻠﺱ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﻭﺘﺸﺎﺒﻙ ﺃﺼﺎﺒﻌﻲ ﺃﺩﺍﺓ ﺃﻫﺭﺏ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼﻝﻬﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻋﺎﻝﻡ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻝﺴﺕ ﻓﻴﻪ ،ﻭﺘﺒﺩﺃ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺒﻜﻼﻤﻙ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﻋﻡ ﺘﻨﻅﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻴﻨﺎﻱ ﻭﺇﻝﻰ ﺯﺍﻭﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﻌﺩ ﺍﻝـﺫﻱ ﺃﺠﻠـﺱ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ،ﺘﺴﺘﻤﺭ ﺒﻜﻼﻤﻙ ﻤﻌﻲ ﻭﺒﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻻﻫﺘﻤﺎﻡ ،ﺃﺭﺍﻗﺒﻙ ،ﺃﺴﺘﻤﺘﻊ ﺒﺤﺩﻴﺜﻙ ﺍﻝﺴﻠﺱ ﻭﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻷﺤﻴﺎﻥ ﻻ ﺃﻓﻬﻡ ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﺘﻘﻭﻝﻪ ...ﻭﺃﺼﻐﻲ ﻝﻙ، 141
ﻤﺜﻠﻤﺎ ﺃﺴﻤﻊ ﺃﻏﻨﻴﺔ ﻴﻭﻨﺎﻨﻴﺔ ﻻ ﺃﻓﻬﻤﻬﺎ ﻭﻻ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺼﻭﺩ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ...ﺘﻼﻤـﺱ ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﻱ ...ﺃﺭﺠﻊ ﻝﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻭﺃﺼﺎﺒﻌﻲ ﺘﺤﺭﺭﺕ ﻤﻥ ﻗﻴﺩﻫﺎ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺇﺫﻨﻲ ،ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﺎﻝﺒﺴﺎﻁﺔ ﻓﻲ ﻜﻼﻤﻙ ﻭﻤﻌﺎﻤﻠﺘﻙ ،ﻜﺄﻨﻙ ﻤﻥ ﻋﻤﺭﻱ، ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺄﻨﻙ ﻗﺭﻴﺏ ﻤﻨﻲ ﺘﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﻋﻨﻲ ،ﺘﺤﻜﻲ ﻋﻥ ﻤـﺸﺎﻋﺭ ﺠﻤﻴﻠـﺔ ﻴﻌﻴﺸﻬﺎ ﻤﺤﺒﻴﻥ ...ﻭﺘﻨﻅﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻴﻨﺎﻱ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻭﻜﺄﻨﻙ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝـﺫﻱ ﻴﻐﺎﺯﻝﻨﻲ ،ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻔﺘﺎﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺴﻤﻌﻪ ﻤﻥ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻬﺎ .ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﻨـﺸﻭﺓ ﺘﺩﻏـﺩﻍ ﻋﻤﺭﻱ ...ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺃﻨﻪ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ،ﻋﺠﺯﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻌﻤﺭ ﻋﻥ ﻓﻬﻤـﻪ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺇﺤﺴﺎﺴﻲ ﺒﺄﻨﻭﺜﺘﻲ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺒﺠﺎﻨﺒﻙ ...ﺭﻏﻡ ﺼﻐﺭ ﺴﻨﻲ ...ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺃﻭﺼﺎﻓﻪ ﻭﺃﻋﺭﺍﻀﻪ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻤﺜل ﻁﻔﻭﻝﺘﻲ ،ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﻭﺍﻝﻬﺎﺘﻑ ﺍﻝﺠﻭﺍل ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺩﻗﻴﻘﺔ ﺤﺏ! ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋـﺭﻑ ﺃﻥ ﻗـﺭﺍﺀﺓ ﺭﺴﺎﺌﻠﻙ ﺍﻝﻬﺎﺘﻔﻴﺔ ﻭﺍﻻﻝﻜﺘﺭﻭﻨﻴﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ﻤـﻥ ﻋـﺸﺭﻴﻥ ﻤـﺭﺓ ﺤﺏ ...ﺃﻥ ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻲ ﻋﻨﻙ ﻤﻊ ﺼﺩﻴﻘﺎﺘﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻭﻗﺎﺕ ﺍﻻﺴﺘﺭﺍﺤﺔ ﺤﺏ! ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺃﻥ ﺍﺸﺭﺍﻗﺘﻲ ﻭﻏﺭﻏﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﺤﺏ ...ﺍﺴﺘﺤﻴﺎﺌﻲ ﻭﺇﺩﺭﺍﻜﻲ ﻭﺼﺩﺭﻙ ﺤﺏ ...ﻭﺭﺅﻴﺎ ﺼﻭﺭﻙ ﻭﻋﺩﻡ ﻗﺩﺭﺘﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻁﻌﺎﻡ ﺤﺏ! ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺃﻥ ﻜل ﺍﻷﻤﻭﺭ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺼﺩﻴﻘﺎﺘﻲ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ﻤﺭﺽ ﻫـﻭ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ! ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻓﻲ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻌﻤﺭ ﻴﺎ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ ﺒﺄﻥ ﻤﺭﻀﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺯﻋﻭﻡ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ! ﻝﻡ ﺃﺘﻤﻜﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺘﻔﺴﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﺸﺩﻴﺩﺓ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻙ ﻤﻊ ﺃﻱ ﻓﺘﺎﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺸﺎﺭﻉ! ﻝﻡ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻊ ﻓﻬﻡ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻐﻀﺏ ﻋﻨـﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﺤﻜـﻲ ﺃﺤـﺩ ﺼﺩﻴﻘﺎﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻋﻨﻙ ﻷﻨﻙ ﺘﻜﻠﻤﺕ ﻤﻌﻬﺎ ﻭﻓﺭﺤﺔ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻬـﺎ ﺃﻨـﺕ 142
ﺴﺒﺒﻬﺎ! ﻁﻔﻭﻝﺘﻲ ﻋﺠﺯﺕ ﻋﻥ ﻓﻬﻤﻲ ...ﺇﻤﺎ ﻀﺎﺤﻜﺔ ﺃﻭ ﺒﺎﻜﻴﺔ ،ﻭﺃﻨـﺕ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﻀﺤﻜﻨﻲ ﻭﻴﺒﻜﻴﻨﻲ ،ﺃﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺒﺎﻝﺤﺏ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻤﺭ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﻴـﻪ ،ﺍﻵﻥ ﻋﻠﻤﺕ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻻﻫﺘﻤﺎﻡ ﺒﻲ ﻭﺒﺄﻤﻭﺭﻱ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻤﻴﺔ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﺴﻴﻁﺔ ﻤﻨﻬـﺎ ﺤﺏ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺤﻠﺔ ﺍﻹﻋﺩﺍﺩﻴﺔ ﺒﺎﻝﻨﺴﺒﺔ ﻝﻲ ﻤﺭﺤﻠﺔ ﻝـﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﻓﻘﻁ ﺍﻨﺘﻘﺎﻝﻴﺔ ﻤﻥ ﻤﺩﺭﺴﺔ ﻷﺨﺭﻯ ،ﺒل ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻤﺭﺤﻠﺔ ﺍﻨﺘﻘﺎﻝﻴﺔ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ،ﺃﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺒﺸﻲﺀ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼﻝﻙ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻤﻨﺤﻪ ﺃﻤﻲ ﻝﻲ ،ﻋﺭﻓـﺕ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺃﻥ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ. "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻋﺭﻓﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ ﻭﻜل ﻤﺎ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺤﺏ ﻝﻙ... ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﻨﺯﺍﻉ ،ﺼﺭﺍﻉ ﺃﻋﻴﺸﻪ ﻭﻝﻡ ﺃﺒﺢ ﺒﻪ ﻷﺤﺩ ﺴﻭﺍﻙ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ،ﺃﻨـﺎ ﺃﻋﺎﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺫﺍﺘﻲ ،ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﻴﻘﻭل ﻝﻲ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺤﺒﻙ ﻝﻲ ﻝﻴﺱ ﺒﺎﻝﻤﺴﺘﻭﻯ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﻨﺘﻅﺭﻩ ﻤﻨﻙ ،ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺄﻨﻪ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﻔـﺭﻭﺽ ﻋﻠـﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺴﻤﻭ ﺒﻙ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﺤﺴﻲ ﺒﺤﺒﻲ ﻭﺘﺴﺘﻁﻴﻌﻲ ﻓﻬﻤﻪ ،ﻭﺃﺘﻤﻜﻥ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺴﺎﻭﻱ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺼﺭﺍﻋﺎﺘﻲ ،ﻝﻭ ﺃﻥ ﺤﺒﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺒﺫﺭﺓ ﻭﺯﺭﻋﺕ ﻓﻲ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﻘﺔ ﻝﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺍﻷﻨﻔﻊ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ،ﺍﻷﻁﻴﺏ ﻭﺍﻷﺸـﻬﻰ ،ﻭﺨﻴﺭﺍﺘﻬـﺎ ﺘﻜﻔﻲ ﺠﻤﻴﻊ ﺃﻫل ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ،ﻝﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺍﻷﻜﺜﺭ ﺨﻴﺭﺍ ﻭﺜﻤﺭﺍ ،ﻝـﻭ ﺃﻥ ﺤﺒـﻲ ﺸﺒﺢ ﻻ ﻴﺭﻯ ﻭﻴﺩﺨل ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻱ ﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﻭﺩﺨل ﻗﻠﺒﻙ ﻷﺸﺭﻗﺕ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻀﺄﺕ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﺒﻘﻁﺒﻴﻬﺎ ...ﻤﻥ ﻋﻴﻨﺎﻙ ﺸﻤﺱ ﻭﻗﻤﺭ ،ﻤـﻥ ﺸـﻔﺎﻫﻙ ﺴـﻤﺎﺀ ﻭﻝﻌﺎﺒﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺘﻘﺒﻴﻠﻲ ﻤﻁﺭ ﺴﻘﻰ ﺤﻘﻭل ﺍﻝﻔﻼﺤﻴﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺸﺢ"
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ﺘﻤﻌﻨﺕ ﻋﻴﻨﺎﻫﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺨﻀﻡ ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻲ ،ﻓﻴﻬﻤﺎ ﺴﺤﺭ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺭﺍﻩ ،ﻝﻭ ﺃﻥ ﻤﻌﻲ ﻤﺭﺁﺓ ﻷﺭﻴﺘﻙ ﻨﻔﺴﻙ ،ﻭﺘﺭﻴﻥ ﺠﻤﺎﻻ ﻓﻲ ﻭﺠﻬﻙ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺭﻴﻪ ﻤﻥ ﻗﺒل ،ﺘﺭﻴﻥ ﺴﺤﺭﺍ ﻓﻲ ﻝﻤﻌﺎﻥ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻙ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺭﻴﻨﻪ ﺇﻻ ﺍﻵﻥ ،ﻝﺭﺃﻴﺕ ﺠﺎﺫﺒﻴﺔ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻝـﻥ ﺘﺼﺩﻗﻲ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﺃﻨﺕ. "ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻻ ﺘﻜﻤل ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻙ؟ ﻓﻬﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻠﺤﻅﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﺠﻤﻴﻠﺔ ﻭﻜﻼﻤﻙ ﺍﻝﺭﻗﻴـﻕ ﻓﻲ ﺤﺒﻙ ﻝﻲ ﺴﺭ ﺴﻔﺭﻱ ،ﺘﻐﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﻨﻭﻡ ﻋﻨﻲ ﻭﺇﺩﻤﺎﻥ ﺃﻨﻭﺜﺘﻲ ﻋـﺸﻘﻙ ﻭﺠﺴﺩﻙ ،ﺩﻋﻨﻲ ﺃﻋﻴﺸﻬﺎ ﻭﺃﺴﺘﻤﺘﻊ ﺒﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻻ ﺘﻜﻤل؟ ﺨـﺫﻨﻲ ﻤـﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻋﺎﻝﻤﻙ ﺍﻝﺭﺍﺌﻊ ،ﻝﻥ ﺃﺼل ﺇﻝﻴﻪ ﺇﻻ ﻤﻊ ﺼـﻭﺘﻙ ﻭﺃﻨﺎﻤﻠـﻙ ﺘﻀﻔﻲ ﻝﺠﺴﺩﻱ ﻨﻌﻭﻤﺔ ﺍﻷﻁﻔﺎل ...ﻜﻼﻤﻙ ﺃﻁﺎل ﺃﺠﻨﺤﺘﻲ ﻭﻀـﺎﻋﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺴﻜﻥ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ...ﺘﻀﺎﻋﻔﺕ ﺃﻨﻭﺜﺘﻲ ﺃﻀـﻌﺎﻓﺎ ...ﺃﻋـﻴﺵ ﺒﺤﺒﻙ ﺃﻀﺭﺍﺒﺎ ﻝﻠﺤﻅﺎﺕ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻤﻌﺘﺎﺩﺓ ،ﺨﺫﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ، ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ ...ﺭﻓﻘﺎ ﺒﻘﻠﺒﻲ ...ﺇﻨﻲ ﺃﺨﺎﻑ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﺎﺯﺍل ﻁﻔـﻼ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺘﺤﻤل ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﻜﺒﻴﺭ ﻭﺃﻥ ﻴﺨﺘﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﺼﻤﺕ ﻭﻴﻨﺘﺤﺭ ...ﺩﻋﻨـﻲ ﺃﻜﻤـل ﻨﺸﻭﺘﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﻭﺴﻤﺎﻋﻙ ،ﻓﻬﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻨﺸﻭﺓ ﻏﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﺘـﻲ ﻋﺭﻓـﺕ، ﺃﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺩﺨل ﻁﻴﻔﻙ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ،ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﺭﺠﻔﺔ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻬـﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻗﺒل ،ﺤﻤﻠﺕ ﺭﻭﺤﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﻴﺙ ﺃﺸﺭﺕ ﻭﻗﻠﺕ ...ﺃﻜل ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭ ﻤﻥ ﻭﺤﻲ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ؟ ﻫل ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺨﺫﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻁﻔﻭﻝﺘﻲ ﻭﺇﻝﻴﻙ؟ ﻫـل ﻫﺫﺍ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺤﻤﻠﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﻨﻭﻤﻲ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﺭﺴـﺔ ﻭﺍﻝـﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺤﻠـﺔ
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ﺍﻹﻋﺩﺍﺩﻴﺔ؟ ﺃﻡ ﻫﻭ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ؟ ﻻ ...ﺃﻨـﺕ ﺃﺤﺴـﺴﺘﻨﻲ ﺒﻤﺠـﺎﻻﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻨﺎﺕ ﻭﺸﺎﻋﺭﻴﺔ ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ!"
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
"ﻝﻡ ﻨﺼل ﺒﻌﺩ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻝﺠﻭﺍﺏ ﺸﺎﻓﻲ ،ﻫل ﻨﺩﺨل ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﺃﻭ ﺒﺎﻷﺤﺭﻯ ﻨﻘﺭﻉ ﺒﺎﺒﻪ ﺃﻡ ﻻ؟ ﻝﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺔ ﺘﻠﻙ!" ﺫﻫﺒﻨﺎ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﺨل ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺯﺍﻭﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺠﻬﺔ ﺍﻝﻨﻬـﺭ ﺴﺎﻗﻴﺔ ﺨﺸﺒﻴﺔ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ،ﺘﺼﺏ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺠﺭﻯ ﺼﻐﻴﺭ ﻝﻠﻤـﺎﺀ ﻨﺤـﻭ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﻘﺔ ،ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﻁﺭﻴﻘﺔ ﺘﺴﻬل ﻋﻤﻠﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﺴﻘﻲ ﻷﺼﺤﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﻤﺯﺭﻋﺔ. ﻭﻗﻔﻨﺎ ﻝﺤﻅﺔ ﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﻭﻫﻭ ﺨﻠﻑ ﻤﻨﺎ ،ﻭﺃﻨﻅﺎﺭﻨﺎ ﻤﺘﺠﻬـﺔ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ...ﺴﺭﻨﺎ ﻨﺤﻭﻩ ،ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﺎﻝﻨﻘﺵ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺭﺃﻴﻨﺎﻩ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻐـﺎﺭﺓ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻨﺎ ﺜﺎﻨﻴﺔ ﻤﺤﻔﻭﺭ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﺨﺸﺒﻲ ﻭﺒـﻨﻔﺱ ﺸـﻜل ﺍﻷﺤـﺭﻑ "ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ". "ﺇﻨﻪ ﻨﻔﺱ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻨﻘﺵ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻐﺎﺭﺓ ،ﺃﻝﻴﺱ ﻜﺫﻝﻙ؟" ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻗﻁﻌﺔ ﺤﺩﻴﺩﻴﺔ ﺒﺤﺠﻡ ﻜﻑ ﺍﻝﻴﺩ ﻤﻨﻘﻭﺵ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﺠـﻪ ﺍﻤـﺭﺃﺓ ﻤﺜﺒﺘﺔ ﻤﻥ ﻁﺭﻑ ﻭﺍﺤﺩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺏ ﻭﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﺤﻠﻘﺔ ﺩﺍﺌﺭﻴﺔ ﻝﻴﻘﺭﻉ ﺍﻝﺯﺍﺌﺭ ﺒﻬﺎ.
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"ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺩﺨﻭﻝﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﺴﻴﺸﺭﺡ ﺍﻝﻜﺜﻴﺭ ،ﻫﻨـﺎ ﺴـﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻷﺠﻭﺒﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﺴﺌﻠﺔ ﻁﺭﺤﻨﺎﻫﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻨﻔﺴﻨﺎ...؟" "ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﻴﺒﺩﻭ ﻝﻲ ﺍﻷﻤﺭ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ،ﺃﻭ ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﺴﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﺼﺎﺩﻓﺔ ﻏﺭﻴﺒﺔ ﻤﻥ ﻨﻭﻋﻬﺎ!" ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﺒﻘﺭﻉ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺏ ﻭﻫﻭ ﻋﺒﺎﺭﺓ ﻋﻥ ﺘﺤﻔﺔ ﻓﻨﻴﺔ ،ﻤﺤﻔﻭﺭ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺃﺸﻜﺎل ﺼﻠﻴﺏ ﻭﻨﺠﻭﻡ ﻭﺩﻭﺍﺌﺭ ﻝﻡ ﻨﻌﺭﻑ ﻤﺎ ﻫﻲ ﻭﻤﺎ ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺘـﻲ ﺘﺭﻤـﺯ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻭﺍﺼﻠﺕ ﺍﻝﻘﺭﻉ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻝﺤﻅﺔ ﻗﺼﻴﺭﺓ ،ﺒﻌﺩﻫﺎ ﺒﻠﺤﻅـﺎﺕ ﻓﺘﺤـﺕ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺏ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻋﺠﻭﺯ ،ﻗﺎﻤﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻨﺘﺼﺒﺔ ﻭﻻ ﻴﻅﻬﺭ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻜﺒـﺭ، ﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻴﺏ ...ﺤﻴﺘﻨـﺎ ﺒﺎﺒﺘـﺴﺎﻤﺔ ،ﻗﺎﻝـﺕ" :ﻤﺭﺤﺒـﺎ ﺒﺎﻝﻀﻴﻭﻑ" ﻗﺎﺒﻠﻨﺎﻫﺎ ﺒﺫﺍﺕ ﺍﻻﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺔ. "ﻤﺭﺤﺒﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ" ﺒﺘﺭﺩﺩ ﻤﻨﺎ ﻭﺒﻌﺽ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﺀ ﻭﺨﻭﻑ ﻤﻥ ﺭﺩﺓ ﻓﻌل ﻻ ﺘﺤﻅﻰ ﺒﺈﻋﺠﺎﺒﻨﺎ. "ﻫل ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﺎ ﻴﺭﺍﻡ؟" ﺘﺨﻠل ﺴﺅﺍﻝﻬﺎ ﺍﺒﺘـﺴﺎﻤﺔ ﻋﺭﻴـﻀﺔ، ﺃﺠﺒﻨﺎﻫﺎ ﺴﻭﻴﺔ ﺒﺫﻫﻭل "ﻨﻌﻡ ﻴﺎ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ...ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﺎ ﻴﺭﺍﻡ ،ﺇﻻ ﺃﻨﻪ ...ﺇﻻ ﺃﻨﻪ "...ﻝﻡ ﻨﻜﻤل ﻗﻭل ﻤﺎ ﻝﻡ ﻨﻌﺭﻓﻪ ﺒﻌﺩ ،ﺤﺘﻰ ﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﺃﺩﺨﻼ ﻴﺎ ﺃﻋﺯﺍﺌﻲ ...ﺘﻔﻀﻼ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﻋﻴﺵ ﻭﺤﺩﻱ"
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ﺩﺨﻠﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺒﻴﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺭﻭﻋﺘﻪ ﺘﻼﺤﻅ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻭل ﻭﻫﻠﺔ ،ﻤﺩﺨل ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﻝـﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻭﺍﺴﻌﺎ ﻴﺅﺩﻱ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ ﺭﺤﺒﺔ ،ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺔ ﺍﻝﻴﺴﺭﻯ ﺴﻠﺔ ﻤﻨﺒﺴﻁﺔ ﻤﻔﺭﻭﺵ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺠﻠﺩ ﻏﻨﻡ ،ﻭﺍﻝﻰ ﺠﺎﻨﺒﻬﺎ ﺨﺯﺍﻨﺔ ﺒﺎﺭﺘﻔﺎﻉ ﻤﺘـﺭ ﺤـﺴﺏ ﺍﻝﺘﻘﺭﻴﺏ ﺒﻼ ﺃﺒﻭﺍﺏ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺒﻀﻌﺔ ﺭﻓﻭﻑ ﻭﺃﺤﺫﻴﺔ ،ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺎﺒﻠـﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﺌﻁ ﻋﻼﻗﺔ ﺨﺸﺒﻴﺔ ﻋﺭﻴﻀﺔ ﻨﺎﻋﻤﺔ ،ﺍﺭﺘﻔﺎﻋﻬﺎ ﻴﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﻗﺎﻤـﺔ ﻲ ﺭﺠل ﻭﻤﺜﺒﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﻗﺭﻭﻥ ﻏﺯﻻﻥ ﻭﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﻌﻁﻔﻴﻥ ﺃﺤﺩﻫﻤﺎ ﺒﻼﺴﺘﻴﻜ ﺭﻗﻴﻕ ﺠﺩﺍ ،ﻭﺍﻵﺨﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺼﻭﻑ. ﺩﺨﻠﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻐﺭﻓﺔ ،ﻴﺘﻭﺴﻁﻬﺎ ﻤﻘﺎﻋﺩ ﺠﻠﺩﻴﺔ ﻋﺭﻴﻀﺔ ﺒﻨﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﻠـﻭﻥ، ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻓﻬﺎ ﻤﺴﺎﻨﺩ ﺨﺸﺒﻴﺔ ﻤﺤﻔﻭﺭ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻤﺴﺘﺩﻴﺭﺓ ﻤﻨﺤﻨﻴـﺔ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻷﻤﺎﻡ ،ﻭﺍﻝﺤﺎﺌﻁ ﻤﺯﻴﻥ ﺒﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺼﻭﺭ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﺌﻠﻴﺔ ﺘﺘﻭﺴﻁﻬﺎ ﺼـﻭﺭﺓ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ﻝﻌﺭﻭﺴﻴﻥ ،ﺘﺒﺩﻭ ﻗﺩﻴﻤﺔ ،ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺠﻠﻭﺴﻨﺎ ﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﺍﻝﺴﻴﺩﺓ ﻭﺍﻗﻔﺔ ﺘﻨﺘﻅﺭ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻨﻨﺘﻬﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﻭﺍﻝﺘﻤﻌﻥ ﺒﺒﻴﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻴﺩﻋﻭ ﻝﻠﺩﻫﺸﺔ، ﻜﺄﻥ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﻗﻼﺌﺩ ﺭﻴﺤﺎﻥ ﻤﺘﻨﺎﺴﻕ ...ﻝﻔﺕ ﻨﻅﺭﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺇﺤـﺩﻯ ﺍﻝﺯﻭﺍﻴـﺎ ﻤﻨﻀﺩﺓ ﺸﺒﻴﻬﻪ ﺒﺎﻝﺘﻲ ﺭﺃﻴﻨﺎﻫﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻐﺎﺭﺓ ،ﺨﺸﺒﻴﺔ ﻤﻭﻀـﻭﻉ ﻋﻠﻴﻬـﺎ ﺃﻨﻭﺍﻉ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺓ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺨﻤﻭﺭ ،ﺤﻭﻝﻬﺎ ﻜﺭﺍﺴﻲ ﺩﺍﺌﺭﻴـﺔ ﻤﺭﺘﻔﻌـﺔ ﺒﻌـﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﺒﺤﻴﺙ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﻤﺎﻥ ﻻ ﻴﻼﻤﺴﺎﻥ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﺇﺜﻨـﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺠﻠـﻭﺱ... ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻻ ﺘﺯﺍل ﻭﺍﻗﻔﺔ ،ﺴﺄﻝﺘﻨﻲ" :ﺃﺤﺏ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻗـﺩﻡ ﻝﻜﻤـﺎ ﺸـﻲﺀ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﺸﺭﺍﺏ ،ﺃﺘﻔﻀﻼﻨﻪ ﺴﺎﺨﻨﺎ ﺃﻡ ﺒﺎﺭﺩﺍ؟"
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"ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﺤﺒﻴﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺸﺭﺒﻲ؟" "ﺴﺄﺸﺭﺏ ﺫﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﺭﻴﺩ!" "ﺇﺫﺍ ﺴﻨﺄﺨﺫ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ﻗﻬﻭﺓ ﺒﺎﻝﺤﻠﻴﺏ ﻭﻗﻠﻴل ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺴﻜﺭ ،ﺇﺫﺍ ﺴﻤﺤﺕ!" "ﺃﻴﻨﺎﺴﺒﻙ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ؟" ﺴﺄﻝﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. ﺃﻭﻤﺄﺕ ﺒﺭﺃﺴﻬﺎ ﺘﻌﺒﺭ ﻋﻥ ﺭﻀﺎﻫﺎ .ﺴﺄﻝﺘﻬﺎ ﺭﻏﻡ ﻋﻠﻤﻲ ﺒﻘﻬﻭﺘﻬـﺎ، ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺴﺄﻝﻬﺎ ﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﺍﻵﺨﺭﻴﻥ ﻹﻅﻬﺎﺭ ﺍﺤﺘﺭﺍﻤﻲ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ. ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻓﻲ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ ﺍﻻﺴﺘﻘﺒﺎل ﺃﻱ ﺒﺎﺏ ﻋﺩﺍ ﻤﻤﺭ ﺁﺨﺭ ﺃﻜﺒﺭ ﺒﻌـﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﺨل ﺍﻝﺭﺌﻴﺴﻲ ﻫﻭ ﻤﻭﺯﻉ ﻝﻠﻐﺭﻑ ،ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻨﺤـﻭ ﺍﻝﻤﻤﺭ ﻭﺩﺨﻠﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼﻝﻪ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﺠﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ. "ﺃﻻ ﺘﺭﻴﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻋﻼﻗﺔ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﻐﺎﺭﺓ ﻭﺼﺎﺤﺒﺔ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ؟" "ﻻ ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ ﺃﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺭﺍﺒﻁ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻻﺜﻨﻴﻥ ،ﺃﻤﺎ ﺍﻻﺴﻡ ﻗﺩ ﻴﻜـﻭﻥ ﻤﺤﺽ ﺍﻝﺼﺩﻓﺔ" "ﻭﺍﻝﺯﺍﻭﻴﺔ ،ﺃﻻ ﺘﻌﺘﻘﺩﻴﻥ ﺒﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﺸﺒﻪ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻐـﺎﺭﺓ؟ ﺃﻨـﺎ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺘﺸﺎﺒﻪ ﻜﺒﻴﺭ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻻﺜﻨﺘﻴﻥ ﻓﺎﻝﻤﺭﺒﻌﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﺤﻔﻭﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺠـﺩﺍﺭ ﺍﻝﻤﻐـﺎﺭﺓ،
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ﺘﻜﺎﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻨﻔﺱ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺭﻓﻭﻑ ﺍﻝﺨﺸﺒﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﺘـﻲ ﺘﻤﻠﺌﻬـﺎ ﺃﻨـﻭﺍﻉ ﻻ ﻨﻌﺭﻓﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻌﺼﺎﺌﺭ ﻭﺍﻝﻤﺸﺭﻭﺒﺎﺕ" ﻗﺎل ﺠﻨﺎﺡ. "ﺃﻻ ﺘﻼﺤﻅ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻨﻁﻘﻬﺎ؟ ﻜﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻼﺩﻨﺎ ،ﻓﻁﺭﻴﻘﺔ ﺤـﺩﻴﺜﻬﺎ ﻭﻝﻔﻅﻬﺎ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻤﺜﻠﻨﺎ! ﺃﻝﻡ ﺘﻨﺘﺒﻪ؟" "ﺒﻠﻰ ،ﻝﻘﺩ ﻻﺤﻅﺕ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺍﻝﻜﻼﻡ ﺜﻘﻴلٌ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻝﺴﺎﻨﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻜﻨﻲ ﻓـﻲ ﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ﺍﻷﻤﺭ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﻁﻲ ﻝﻠﻤﻭﻀﻭﻉ ﺃﻫﻤﻴﺔ ،ﺇﻨﻙ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺤﻕ ،ﺴﻨﺭﻯ ﺒﻌـﺩ ﻗﻠﻴل ﻋﻨﺩ ﺍﺤﺘﺴﺎﺀﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻘﻬﻭﺓ ﻓﺴﺘﺸﺎﻁﺭﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﺒﺎﻝﺘﺄﻜﻴﺩ ،ﻭﺴﻨﻌﻠﻡ ﻤـﻥ ﺨﻼﻝﻪ ﺃﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻗﺩ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﻫﻡ ﻤﻥ ﻝﻜﻨﺘﻬﺎ" ﺃﻗﺒﻠﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺘﺤﻤل ﻁﺒﻕ ﻜﺒﻴﺭ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻗﻬﻭﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﻜﺄﺴﻴﻥ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﻤـﺎﺀ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻨﺎ ،ﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﻝﻘﺩ ﺠﻬﺯﺕ ﺍﻝﻘﻬﻭﺓ" ﻭﻀﻌﺘﻪ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻁﺎﻭﻝﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺘﻭﺴﻁﻨﺎ ﺒﻁﺭﻴﻘﺔ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜـﻥ ﻤﻌﺘـﺎﺩﺓ، ﻓﻨﺎﺠﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻘﻬﻭﺓ ﺃﻜﺒﺭ ﺒﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻨﺴﺘﺨﺩﻤﻬﺎ ،ﻭﺩﻭﻥ ﻁﺒـﻕ ﺃﺴـﻔل ﻤﻨﻪ ...ﺤﻤﻠﺕ ﺍﻝﻔﻨﺠﺎﻥ ﺍﻷﻭل ﻭﻭﻀﻌﺘﻪ ﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺜﻡ ﺤﻤﻠﺕ ﺍﻷﺨـﺭ ﻭﺩﻓﻌﺕ ﺒﻪ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻲ ،ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴﻘـﺔ ﺴـﺎﺌﺩﺓ ﻋﻨـﺩﻨﺎ ﺇﻻ ﻤـﻊ ﺍﻷﺸﺨﺎﺹ ﺍﻝﺫﻴﻥ ﺘﺭﺒﻁﻬﻡ ﺒﻨﺎ ﻋﻼﻗﺔ ﻭﺜﻴﻘﺔ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﺘﺼﺭﻑ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﻤـﻊ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻭﺍﻷﺸﺨﺎﺹ ﺍﻝﺫﻴﻥ ﻨﺤﺒﻬﻡ.
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ﻭﻀﻌﺕ ﻜﺄﺱ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻭﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﻓﻲ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻷﺜﻨـﺎﺀ" :ﺍﻝﻨـﺴﺎﺀ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﺃﺼﺤﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﺤﻕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻀﻴﺎﻓﺔ ﺃﻭﻻ" ﺍﺴﺘﻐﺭﺒﺕ ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻬﺎ ،ﻭﻗﻠﺕ" :ﻨﻌﻡ ﻴﺎ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ،ﻓﻬﺫﻩ ﻁﺭﻴﻘﺘﻲ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻌﺎﻤل ،ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﺄﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﻭﺤﻴﺩ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺠﺘﻤﻌﻲ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﺤﻤل ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻔﻠـﺴﻔﺔ، ﺭﻏﻡ ﻴﻘﻴﻨﻲ ﺒﺄﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺁﺨﺭﻭﻥ ﻴﺘﺒﻨﻭﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺭﺃﻱ ﻭﻗﺩ ﻻ ﻴﻜﻭﻨﻭﺍ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﺠﺎل ،ﺃﺘﻌﻠﻤﻴﻥ ﻴﺎ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺍﻝﺸﺨﺹ ﺍﻝﻭﺤﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻗﺎﺒﻠﺘﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺒﻠﺩﻨﺎ ﻭﻴﺘﺒﻨﻰ ﻨﻔﺱ ﻤﺒﺩﺌﻲ؟" "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﻌﻨﻲ ﺒﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻝﻤﺒﺩﺃ؟" "ﺃﻋﻨﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ﺒﺄﻨﻪ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﻌﺘﺎﺩ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺠﺘﻤﻌﻨﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﺠـل ﺩﺍﺌﻤـﺎ ﻤﻘﺩﻡ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻨﺴﺎﺀ ،ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺨﺎﻝﻔﻬﻡ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺃﻨـﻪ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻷﺩﺏ ﻭﺤﺴﻥ ﺍﻝﺘﺼﺭﻑ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻤﻘﺩﻤﺔ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺍﻝﺭﺠـل... ﺒﺸﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﻘﻬﻭﺓ ﺃﻭ ﺩﺨﻭل ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺯل ﺃﻭ ﺃﻱ ﻤﻨﺎﺴﺒﺔ ﻴﺠﺘﻤﻊ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺭﺠـل ﻭﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ،ﻭﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻻﺤﻅﺘﻪ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼل ﻀﻴﺎﻓﺘﻙ ﻝﻨﺎ ،ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺍﻨﻙ ﺘﺘﺒﻨﻴﻥ ﺭﺃﻴﻲ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ!" "ﺒﻠﻰ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺎﺴﺏ ﺠﺩﺍ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﹸﺘﺴﺄل ﻗﺒل ﺍﻝﺭﺠل ،ﻭﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻭﻀﺢ ﺍﻷﻤﺭ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ﻓﺈﻥ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻋﺎﺩﺘﻲ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻓﺤﺴﺏ ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﻫﻲ ﻋﺎﺩﺍﺕ ﻭﺘﻘﺎﻝﻴﺩ ﻗﺩ ﻭﺭﺜﻨﺎﻫﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺒﺎﺌﻨﺎ" 152
"ﻫل ﺘﺴﻤﺤﻲ ﻝﻲ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ﺒﺴﺅﺍل؟" ﻭﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﺘﺠﻴﺒﻨﻲ ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻬﺎ" :ﺍﻨﻙ ﻝﺴﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻼﺩﻨﺎ! ﺃﻡ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻤﺨﻁﺊ؟" "ﺼﺤﻴﺢ ﺘﻭﻗﻌﻙ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻴﻭﻨﺎﻨﻴﺔ ﺃﻋﻴﺵ ﻫﻨﺎ ﻤﻨﺫ ﺴﻨﺘﻴﻥ" ﺃﺨﺫﺘﻨﺎ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺴﺄﻝﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻋﺎﻝﻤﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﺘﻪ ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﻭﺍﻝﺩﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺇﻝـﻰ ﻗﺭﻴﺘﻬﻡ ﺍﻝﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﺤﺭ ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﺒﻴﺘﻬﻡ ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﻌﺩ ﺍﻝﻬـﺯﺍﺯ ﺃﻤـﺎﻡ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﻓﺄﺓ ﺍﻝﺤﺠﺭﻴﺔ ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﺨﻴﻭﻁ ﺍﻝﺼﻭﻑ ﻤﻊ ﺃﻤﻬﺎ ﻭﺇﻝﻰ ﻜﺭﻭﻡ ﺍﻝﻌﻨﺏ ﻤﻊ ﺃﺒﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺇﻝﻰ " "Theodorﻓﻲ ﻁﻔﻭﻝﺘﻬﺎ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺜﺎﻝﺜﺔ ﻋـﺸﺭ ﻼ ﻭﺍﻝﻴـﻭﻡ ﻭﺃﺠﻠﺴﺘﻨﺎ ﻤﻌﻬﺎ ...ﺍﺤﺘﺴﺕ ﻨﺒﻴﺫﻫﺎ ﻤﻌﻪ ،ﻜﺎﻥ ﺒﺎﻷﻤﺱ ﻁﻔـ ﹰ ﻋﺸﻴﻘﻬﺎ ،ﻓﻘﺩ ﺸﺭﺒﺕ ﻤﻌﻪ ﻓﻲ ﻁﻔﻭﻝﺘﻬﺎ ﺤﻠﻴﺒﺎ ﺒﺎﻝﺸﻭﻜﻭﻻﻩ ﻭﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺘﺤﻜﻲ ﻝﻨﺎ ﻜﻴﻑ ﺘﺒﺎﺩﻝﺕ ﻤﻌﻪ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻜﺅﻭﺱ ﺍﻝﻨﺒﻴﺫ ﻓﺤﺴﺏ ،ﺒل ﻜﺅﻭﺱ ﺍﻝﻌـﺸﻕ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻤﺎﺯﺍﻝﺕ ﻝﺫﺘﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺤﺸﺎﺌﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺨﺫﺘﻨﺎ ﻤﻌﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺭﺤﻴل ﻤﻌﻪ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺒﻼﺩ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻌﻠﻤﻭﺍ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ﺃﻱ ﺸﻲﺀ. ﻝﻤﻌﺎﻥ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ ﻴﺭﻭﻯ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻝـﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ ،ﺤﻤﻠﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﻁـﺎﺭﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﺎﻨﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻊ ﺭﻓﻴﻕ ﺩﺭﺒﻬﺎ ،ﺤﺎﻨﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺭﺃﻴﻨﺎﻫﺎ ﻗﺒل ﺩﺨﻭﻝﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻴﻬـﺎ، ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺍﻋﺘﻘﺩﻨﺎﻩ ﻤﻐﺎﺭﺓ ،ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺤﺎﻨﺘﻬﻡ ،ﺃﺨﺫﺘﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﻠﻴﺌـﺔ ﺒﺯﻭﺍﺭﻫﺎ ،ﻓﻘﺩ ﻜﺎﻨﻭﺍ ﻴﺄﺘﻭﻥ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻌﻴﺩ ﻜﻲ ﻴﺫﻫﺒﻭﺍ ﻋـﻨﻬﻡ ﺸـﻘﺎﺀ
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ﻴﻭﻤﻬﻡ ﺃﻭ ﺃﺴﺒﻭﻋﻬﻡ ،ﻜﻲ ﻴﺭﺍﻓﻘﻭﺍ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﻭﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ ﺤﺎﻨﺘﻬﻡ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺒﻼﺩ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻌﺭﻓﻭﻫﺎ ﻭﻝﻡ ﻴﺼﻠﻭﺍ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺃﻭ ﻴﺴﻤﻌﻭﺍ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ.
ﻜﻼﻤﻬﺎ ﻤﻤﺘﻊ ،ﺸﻴﻕﹲ ﻭﻗﺭﻴﺘﻬﻡ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺠﻤﻴﻠﺔ ﺒﺒﻨﺎﺌﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻁﻴﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﻘـﺩﻴﻡ، ﺘﻁﻔﻠﻲ ﻜﺎﻥ ﺃﻗﻭﻯ ﻤﻥ ﺼﺒﺭﻱ ،ﻓﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﺯﺍﺩ ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻬﺎ ﻜﺜﺭﺕ ﺴﺅﺍﻻﺘﻲ. "ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ...ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ....ﻤﻥ ﻫﻡ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﻭﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ؟" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﻭﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ ﺯﻭﺠﻲ ،ﻝﻘﺩ ﺴﻤﻰ ﺤﺎﻨﻭﺘﻨﺎ ﻨﺴﺒﺔ ﺇﻝﻲ ،ﻭﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﻨﺎﺩﻴﻨﻲ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ "Rula ﺃﺨﺫﺘﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻔﻼﺤﻴﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﺒﺎل ﻤﻊ ﻨﺴﺎﺌﻬﻡ ﻭﺤﻅﺎﺌﺭ ﺤﻴﻭﺍﻨـﺎﺘﻬﻡ، ﻜﻼﺒﻬﻡ ﻭﻤﺎﻋﺯﻫﻡ ،ﻴﺄﺘﻭﻥ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﻡ ﻴﺘﺒﺎﺩﻝﻭﻥ ﺁﺭﺍﺌﻬﻡ ﻓﻲ ﺸﺅﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﻴـﺎﺓ، ﻭﻴﻐﺴﻠﻭﺍ ﻋﻥ ﺃﺭﻭﺍﺤﻬﻡ ﻋﻨﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﺭ ،ﻜل ﻭﺍﺤﺩ ﻤﻨﻬﻡ ﻴﻐﻨﻲ ﻝﺤﻨﺎ ﺘﻬﻔﻭ ﺇﻝﻴﻪ ﻨﻔﺴﻪ ﺃﻭ ﺘﺒﻜﻴﻪ ،ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺘﺸﻜﻲ ﺯﻭﺠﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﺯﻭﺝ ﺯﻭﺠﺘﻪ ،ﻭﺍﻝﺼﺒﻴﺔ ﻭﺍﻝﺸﺒﺎﺏ ﻴﺘﺒﺎﺩﻝﻭﻥ ﻋﺸﻘﻬﻡ ﻭﻝﻭﻋﺔ ﻭﺩﻤﻭﻉ ﺒﺭﻴﺌﺔ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﻘﻭل ،ﻜﺎﻨـﺕ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﻭﺯﻭﺠﻬﺎ ﺒﺎﻝﻨﺴﺒﺔ ﻝﺯﻭﺍﺭﻫﻡ ﻤﺜل ﺃﻁﺒﺎﺀ ﻨﻔﺴﻴﻴﻥ ﻭﺘﺎﺭﺓ ﻗﻀﺎﺓ، ﻤﺸﺎﻜل ﺍﻝﻔﻼﺤﻴﻥ ﺘﻁﺭﺡ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﻡ ﻭﺭﺃﻴﻬﻡ ﻴﺅﺨﺫ ﺒﻪ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻌﻅﻡ ﺍﻷﺤﻴﺎﻥ.
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ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﻓﻘﻁ ﺤﺎﻨﺔ ﺒﺎﻝﻤﻌﻨﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﻌﺎﺭﻑ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ،ﺒل ﻤﻘـﺭﺍ ﻝﻠﺘﻌـﺎﺭﻑ ﻭﻁﺭﺡ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﺌل ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺨﺹ ﺴﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﺠﺒل ،ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻴﺘﺤﺎﻭﺭﻭﻥ ﻭﺘﺤـﺴﺏ ﻤﺤﺎﺼﻴﻠﻬﻡ ﻭﺘﺤﺴﻡ ﻗﺭﺍﺭﺍﺘﻬﻡ. "ﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺘﻰ ﺒﻜﻡ ﻴﺎ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻨﺎﻥ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻏﺎﺒﺘﻨﺎ ﻫﺫﻩ؟" "ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻓﻲ ﻴﻭﻡ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻷﻴﺎﻡ ﻤﻨﺘﺠﻌﺎ ﻴﻘﺼﺩﻩ ﺴﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﻤـﺩﻥ ﺍﻝﺒﻌﻴﺩﺓ ،ﻴﺄﺘﻭﻥ ﺒﻨﺴﺎﺌﻬﻡ ﻭﺃﻁﻔﺎﻝﻬﻡ ﻝﻼﺴﺘﺠﻤﺎﻡ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ،ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﻭﺍﻝﻬﻭﺍﺀ ﺍﻝﻁﻠﻕ ...ﻭﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻜﻤﺎ ﺘﺭﻭﻥ! ﺨﺎﻭﻱ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻜﻤﺎ ﻜـﺎﻥ .ﻴـﺄﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﻔﻼﺤﻭﻥ ﻝﺒﻀﻊ ﺴﺎﻋﺎﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺼﺒﺎﺡ ،ﻜﻲ ﻴﻘﻭﻤﻭﺍ ﺒﺄﻋﻤﺎل ﺍﻝﺤﻘل ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺩ ﻗﺎﺩﺭﺓ ﻭﺤﺩﻱ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻓﺎﻝﻌﻤل ﺸﺎﻕﹲ ﻋﻠﻲ ،ﺃﺸﺭﻑ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﻡ ﻝﻴﺒﻘﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﻘل ﻤﺯﺭﻭﻋﺎ ﺒﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴﻘﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻗﺎﻡ ﺒﻬﺎ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ" "ﺃﻴﻥ ﻫﻭ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ؟ ﺇﻥ ﺴﻤﺤﺕ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺒﺎﻝﺴﺅﺍل ﻁﺒﻌﺎ!" "ﻤﺎﺯﺍﻝﺕ ﺭﻭﺡ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ ﺒﺎﻗﻴﺔ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻨﺯﻝﻨﺎ ،ﻭﻝﻜﻥ ﺠﺴﺩﻩ ﺭﺤل ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﺁﺴﻑ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ،ﻫل ﺁﻝﻤﻙ ﺴﺅﺍﻝﻲ؟" "ﻻ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻹﻁﻼﻕ ﻓﻬﺫﺍ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻁﺒﻴﻌﻲ ،ﺃﻻ ﺘﺭﻴﺩ ﺠﻭﺍﺒﺎ ﻝﺴﺅﺍﻝﻙ؟"
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"ﺃﻱ ﺴﺅﺍل؟" "ﻗﺩ ﺴﺄﻝﺘﻨﻲ ﻤﺎ ﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺘﻰ ﺒﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻨﺎﻥ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﻨﺎ؟" "ﻨﻌﻡ ...ﻨﻌﻡ ﻗﺩ ﺴﺄﻝﺘﻙ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ" ﻝﻘﺩ ﻓﺎﺠﺌﺘﻨﻲ ﺒﻬﺩﻭﺌﻬﺎ ﻭﺘﺭﻜﻴﺯﻫﺎ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺍﻝﻤﻼﺤﻅ ﺒﻌﻴﻨﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺸـﺭﻭﺩ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻬﺎ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ. "ﻓﻲ ﺒﻼﺩﻜﻡ ﻴﻌﻴﺵ ﻴﻭﻨﺎﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻗﺼﻰ ﺍﻝﺠﻨﻭﺏ ﻭﻜﺎﻥ ﻝﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ ﺃﻗﺎﺭﺏ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ،ﻜﻨﺎ ﻗﺩ ﺍﺘﺨﺫﻨﺎ ﻗﺭﺍﺭﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺭﺤﻴل ﻋﻥ ﻗﻨﺎﻋﺔ ﺘﺎﻤﺔ ﻝﺒﺩﺀ ﺤﻴـﺎﺓ ﺠﺩﻴﺩﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺒﻠﺩ ﺁﺨﺭ ،ﻭﺒﻤﺎ ﺃﻥ ﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺴﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﺠﻨﻭﺏ ﻴﻭﻨﺎﻥ ﻗﺭﺭﻨـﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﻭﺙ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻓﻠﻥ ﻨﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻐﺭﺒﺔ ﻜﻤﺎ ﻝﻭ ﻜﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻭﺤﻴﺩﻴﻥ ﺒﻴﻨﻬﻡ ،ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺍﻷﻤﺭ ﺴﻬﻼ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ﻤﺜﻠﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺎ ﻨﺘﺼﻭﺭ ،ﺍﺴﺘﻌﺩﺩﻨﺎ ﻝﻠﻬﺠﺭﺓ ﻭﻓﺭﺤﺘﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺘﻭﺼﻑ ،ﻜﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻘﺘﺒل ﺍﻝﻌﻤﺭ ﻨﻁﻤﻊ ﻓﻲ ﺍﺴﺘﻘﻼﻝﻴﺔ ﻜﺎﻤﻠﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﺒﻌﻴﺩﻴﻥ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻷﻫل ،ﺘﻁﻔﻠﻬﻡ ﻭﺘﺩﺨﻼﺘﻬﻡ ،ﺼـﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﺭﺤﻴـل ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴﻘـﺔ ﺍﻝﻭﺤﻴﺩﺓ ﻝﺘﺤﻘﻴﻕ ﺤﻠﻡ ﻤﻥ ﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﺃﺤﻼﻤﻨﺎ. ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻠﻴﺎﻝﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻝﻔﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺒﻼﺩﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﻨﻜﻥ ﻁﺒﻴﻌﻴﻴﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻹﻁﻼﻕ ،ﻜﻨﺎ ﻜﺎﻝﻤﻭﺠﻭﻉ ،ﺇﻥ ﺠﻠﺴﻨﺎ ﻻ ﻨﻌﺭﻑ ﺍﻝﺠﻠﻭﺱ ،ﻭﻻ ﻨﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﻴﺭ ،ﻨﺤـﺏ ﺍﻝﻜﻼﻡ ﻭﻝﻜﻥ ﻻ ﻨﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺇﻜﻤﺎﻝﻪ ،ﻨﺼﻑ ﺍﻝﻠﺤﻅﺔ ﻭﻻ ﻨﺘـﺎﺒﻊ ،ﺸـﻌﻭﺭ ﺨﻠﻴﻁ ﻝﻡ ﻨﻌﺭﻓﻪ ﺁﻨﺫﺍﻙ ،ﻨﻌﻴﺵ ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ﻭﺴﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﻷﻨﻨﺎ ﻨﺤـﻥ ﺃﺼـﺤﺎﺏ 156
ﺍﻝﻘﻭل ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ...ﺘﺤﻘﻴﻕ ﺃﻭل ﺃﺤﻼﻤﻨﺎ ﻭﺤﺯﻥ ﻓﻲ ﻗﻠﻭﺒﻨﺎ ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻋﺭﻓﺕ ﺴﺒﺒﻪ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ،ﻓﺫﻜﺭﻴﺎﺘﻨﺎ ،ﺃﻤﻲ ﻭﺃﺒﻲ ،ﺍﻝﺒﺤﺭ ،ﻜﺭﻭﻡ ﺍﻝﻌﻨـﺏ ،ﻭﺤﻘـﻭل ﺍﻝﻔﺎﻜﻬﺔ ...ﺤﻴﺙ ﻝﻘﺎﺀﺍﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ ﻤﻠﺌﻪ ﺍﻝﺒﺭﺍﺀﺓ ﻭﺤﺏ ﻤﺎﺯﺍل ،ﺤﺘـﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﻨﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻝﻜﻡ ﺤﻠﻤﻨﺎ ﺩﺨﻭﻝﻬﺎ ﺴﻭﻴﺎ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻝﻜﺒﺎﺭ ،ﻓﻠﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻤـﺴﻤﻭﺡ ﻷﻋﻤﺎﺭﻨﺎ ﺩﺨﻭﻝﻬﺎ ،ﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﺤﻠﻤﺎ ﻝﻭ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﺏ ﺃﻋﺎﺩﻨﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻴﻭﻡ ﻝـﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﺸﺭﺒﺕ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻜﺄﺴﻴﻥ ﻨﺒﻴﺫ ﺤﻠﻭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻨﺸﺭﺒﻪ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻭﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ ﺒﺭﻏﺒﺔ ﺸﺩﻴﺩﺓ ،ﺴﺄﺠﻠﺱ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻗﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﻓﺫﺓ ﺍﻝﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ﻤﺜﻠﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺤﻠﻡ ﻜﻲ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺸﺎﺭﻉ ﻭﻴﺭﻭﻨﻲ" "ﻝﻁﺎﻝﻤﺎ ﺤﻠﻤﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺠﻠﺱ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﻌﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ" ﻗﺎل ﻝﻲ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ. "ﺴﺄﻤﻜﺙ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﻘﺭﺏ ﻁﻠﻭﻉ ﺍﻝﻔﺠﺭ ﻭﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﻤﻌﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺒﻴﺘﻜﻡ ﻓﻭﺍﻝﺩﺘﻙ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻓﻲ ﺒﻴﺕ ﺨﻁﻴﺒﻬﺎ ،ﺴﺘﺒﻘﻰ ﺭﻭﺤـﻙ ﺴـﺎﻜﻨﺔ ﺃﺤﺸﺎﺌﻲ ،ﻭﺃﺸﻴﺎﺌﻙ ﻤﺎﺯﺍﻝﺕ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻷﻤﺱ ،ﺤﺫﺍﺌﻙ ﺍﻝـﺸﺘﻭﻱ ﻤـﺎﺯﺍل، ﻤﻌﻁﻔﻙ ﺍﻝﺒﻼﺴﺘﻴﻜﻲ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺍﻋﺘﺩﺕ ﻝﺒﺎﺴﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﺭ ،ﻤﺎﺯﺍل ﻤﻌﻠﻘﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻜﺎﻨﻪ ...ﺃﺭﻓﺽ ﻗﺩﺭﻱ ﺒﻌﺩﻡ ﻭﺠﻭﺩﻙ" ﺃﺴﻬﻤﺕ ﺒﺼﺭﻫﺎ ﻓﻴﻨﺎ ...ﻭﺘﺎﺒﻌﺕ" :ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻨﺘﻅﺎﺭﻩ ،ﻨﻌـﻡ ﻫﻭ ﺴﻴﻌﻭﺩ ﻓﺫﻫﺎﺒﻪ ﻝﻥ ﻴﻁﻭل ،ﻫﻭ ﻤﻌﺘﺎﺩ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺤـﻴﻥ ﻭﺍﻷﺨـﺭ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﺫﻫﺎﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺼﻴﺩ ﻤﻊ ﺍﻝﺭﺠﺎل ،ﻭﺭﺤﻠﺔ ﺼﻴﺩﻩ ﻝﻥ ﺘﻁـﻭل ...ﻓـﻲ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻷﻴﺎﻡ ﻴﺒﻘﻰ ﺃﺴﺒﻭﻉ ﻭﻴﻌﻭﺩ ﻝﻲ ﺒﺸﻭﻕ ﻜﺒﻴﺭ ،ﺼﻴﺩ ﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻭﺤﺩﻴﺙ 157
ﺭﺤﻠﺘﻪ ﺍﻝﺸﻴﻕ ﻤﻊ ﺯﻤﻼﺌﻪ ﻭﻤﻐﺎﻤﺭﺍﺘﻬﻡ ﻭﺠﻠﺴﺎﺘﻬﻡ ﻤﻊ ﻀﻭﺀ ﺍﻝﻘﻤـﺭ، ﺭﻭﺤﻪ ﺘﺯﻭﺭﻨﻲ ﻜل ﻝﻴﻠﺔ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﺜﺎﻨﻴﺔ ﻋﺸﺭ ﺒﻌﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﻬﺩﺃ ﺍﻝﺤﻴـﺎﺓ ﺃﻭ ﺘﻤﻭﺕ ،ﺘﺄﺨﺫﻨﻲ ﺒﻜل ﺭﻓﻕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻋﻨﺩﻩ ،ﺘﺴﺎﻤﺭﻩ ،ﻭﻨﺒﻘﻰ ﻓـﻲ ﻜل ﻝﻴﻠﺔ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺒﺯﻭﻍ ﺍﻝﻔﺠﺭ ،ﻴﺼﺤﻭﺍ ﻫﻭ ﻤﻥ ﻨﻭﻤﻪ ﻗﺒﻠﻲ ﻜﻌﺎﺩﺘﻪ ﻤﺭﺤﺎ ﻜﻠﻪ ﻨﺸﺎﻁ ﻜﺄﻨﻪ ﻨﺎﻡ ﺍﻝﻠﻴل ﺒﻁﻭﻝﻪ ...ﻫﻭ ﺴﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﻓﻘﺩ ﻋﺯﻤﻨﺎ ﺃﻥ ﻨـﺫﻫﺏ ﻓﻲ ﺇﺠﺎﺯﺓ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻨﺎﻥ ،ﻝﻡ ﻨﻘﺭﺭ ﺒﻌﺩ ،ﻓﻬﻨﺎﻙ ﺍﻝﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺸﺎﻏل ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻴﺠﺏ ﺃﻥ ﻨﻨﻬﻴﻬﺎ ﻗﺒل ﺴﻔﺭﻨﺎ ،ﻓﺎﻷﺭﺽ ﻭﺍﻝﺤﺎﻨﻭﺕ ﻭﺍﻝﻤﺎﺸﻴﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﻥ، ﻝﻡ ﻨﺠﺩ ﻤﻥ ﻴﻘﻭﻡ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺭﻋﺎﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻨﻌﻭﺩ ،ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺓ ﻻ ﻴﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺃﺤﺩ ﻭﺤﺩﻩ ﺍﻝﻘﻴﺎﻡ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﺨﺎﺼﺔ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﻨﺔ ،ﻓﺎﻷﻋﻤﺎل ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﺴـﻬﻠﺔ ﻜﻤـﺎ ﻴﺘﺼﻭﺭﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﺒﻌﺽ... ﺍﻝﺭﻏﺒﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺯﻴﺎﺭﺓ ﻗﺭﻴﺘﻨﺎ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ،ﻭﻝﻜﻨﻨـﺎ ﻻ ﻨـﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺇﻨﻬﺎﺀ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﻫﻨﺎ ﻷﺸﻬﺭ ﻭﻨﻌﻭﺩ ﻜﻲ ﻨﺒﺩﺃ ﻤﻥ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ ،ﺍﻷﻤﺭ ﻝﻴﺱ ﺴﻬﻼ، ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺒﻼﺩ ﺒﻼﺩﻨﺎ ﻭﻻ ﻨﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺍﻝﻌﻴﺵ ﺇﻻ ﻓﻲ ﺒﻴﺘﻨﺎ ﻫﺫﺍ ﻭﺒﻴﻥ ﺃﺸﺠﺎﺭﻨﺎ ﻭﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﻨﻬﺭﻨﺎ ﻭﻓﻲ ﺤﺎﻨﻭﺘﻨﺎ ،ﻻ ...ﻻ ﻝﻥ ﻨﺘﺨﻠﻰ ﻋﻥ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﻫﻨﺎ ،ﻫﻨـﺎ ﻜﺎﻥ ﺸﺒﺎﺒﻨﺎ ﻭﻫﻨﺎ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺸﻴﺏ ﻭﺴﻜﺎﻥ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺒﻠﺩﺓ ﻫﻡ ﺃﻫﻠﻨﺎ ﻭﺃﺒﻨﺎﺌﻨﺎ. ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ ﺨﻴﺎل ﻨﻭﺭﻙ ﻤﺎﺯﺍل ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﻋﺎﻝﻘﺎ ﻭﺃﺭﺍﻩ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻏﺭﻓـﻪ ﻭﺯﻭﺍﻴﺎﻩ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﺎﺯﻝﺕ ﺃﻋﻴﺵ ﺒﻅﻠﻙ ﻭﻁﻠﻌﺘﻙ ،ﺃﻨﻔﺎﺴﻲ ﻭﺠﻭﺍﺭﺤﻲ ﺘﻌﻴﺵ ﺒﻙ ﻭﺘﻨﻁﻕ ،ﻭﻗﺸﻌﺭﻴﺭﺓ ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﻼﻤـﺴﻨﻲ ﺒﺎﻗﻴـﺔ ،ﺭﻭﺤـﻲ 158
ﻭﺭﺤﻴﻘﻬﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ ﻤﺎﺯﺍﻻ ﺒﺫﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﻨﺸﻭﺓ ﻤﻌﻙ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﺘﻭﻗﻊ ﻓﻲ ﻴﻭﻡ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻷﻴﺎﻡ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺴﺘﺫﻫﺏ ﻤﻥ ﺩﻭﻨﻲ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﻜﻥ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ﺴﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﻥ ﻏﻴﺭ ﻜﻠﻤﺔ ﻭﺩﺍﻉ ﻭﺃﺤﺒﻙ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﻜﻥ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺃﻥ ﺫﻫﺎﺒﻙ ﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺓ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺭﺠﻌﺔ ،ﻗﺩ ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻙ ﻴﻭﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝﻥ ﺃﻗﺒل ﺃﻱ ﻋﺫﺭ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﻤـﻥ ﺩﻭﻨﻲ ،ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﺕ ﻴﺠﺏ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻘﺎﻭﻤﻪ ﻜﺭﺍﻤﺔ ﻝﻲ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﻴﻜـﻭﻥ ﺴﻔﺭﻨﺎ ﻝﻠﻌﺎﻝﻡ ﺍﻷﺨﺭ ﺴﻭﻴﺎ ،ﻻ... ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﻗﺒل ﺃﻱ ﻋﺫﺭ ﻴﺎ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻌﺩﻙ ﺃﻨﻬﺎﺭ ﻜـل ﻴـﻭﻡ ﻭﺍﻨﺘﻬﻲ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺴﻤﺢ ﻝﻠﻤﻭﺕ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺄﺨﺫﻙ ﻤﻨﻲ ﻭﻻ ﻷﻨﻔﺎﺴﻙ ﻭﺫﻫﺎﺒـﻙ ﻋﻨﻲ ،ﺭﻏﻡ ﻋﻠﻤﻲ ﺒﺄﻨﻙ ﻤﻐﻠﻭﺏ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻤﺭﻙ ،ﺴﺄﺒﻘﻰ ﺴﺎﺨﻁﺔ ﺤﺎﻨﻘـﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ،ﺴﺒﺒﺎ ﻝﺒﻌﺩﻙ ،ﺴﺎﺨﻁﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻭﻋﻠﻰ ﺭﻭﺤﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺒﺕ ﺍﻝﺨﺭﻭﺝ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺠﺴﺩ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﻘﻠﺏ ﻗﺩ ﺼـﺭﺥ ﻭﻨـﺒﺽ ﺒﻜـل ﻗﻭﺍﻩ ...ﻭﻋﺎﺵ ﻤﻌﻙ ﺒﻌﺩﻡ ﻭﺠﻭﺩﻙ ،ﻋﻠﻪ ﻴﺄﺨﺫ ﺠﺭﻋﺔ ﺤﺏ ﺃﻗﻭﻯ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻱ ﺠﺭﻋﺔ ﺃﺨﺫﻫﺎ ﻤﻨﻙ ﻭﻴﻤﻭﺕ ،ﻴﺄﺨﺫ ﺠﺭﻋﺔ ﺤﺏ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺭﺍﺭﺓ ،ﻭﺤﺩﻩ، ﺤﺴﺭﺓ ﻭﺴﻜﻭﺕ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﻠﺤﻕ ﺭﻭﺤﻲ ﺒﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ. ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ ،ﺃﻫﻭ ﻋﻘﺎﺏ؟ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻋﻴﺵ ﺼﻌﻘﺎﺕ ﻭﺃﻤﻭﺕ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻴـﻭﻡ... ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻨﺒﺘﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﻘﺔ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺯﺭﻋﺘﻬﺎ ﺼﻌﻘﺔ ،ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﻓﻲ ﻜـل ﻤﺴﺎﺀ ﺃﺠﻠﺱ ﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﻨﻭﺕ ﺼﻌﻘﺔ ،ﻋﻨـﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺭﻓـﺽ ﻓـﻲ ﺇﺤـﺩﻯ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﺀﺍﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺼﻌﻘﺔ ،ﺃﺠﻠﺱ ﻋﻨـﺩ ﺍﻝـﺴﺎﻗﻴﺔ ﻋﻠـﻲ 159
ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﺒﺄﻓﻜﺎﺭﻱ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﺁﺨﺭ ﺃﺼﻌﻕ ﺒﺫﻜﺭﺍﻙ ،ﺃﻤﺸﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻑ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﻭﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺼﻌﻘﺔ ...ﻭﺃﺘﻌﺏ ،ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﺒﺨﻁﺎﻱ ﻭﺒﺄﺸﻭﺍﻗﻲ ﻭﺁﻻﻤﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﻓﺄﺭﻯ ﺍﺴﻤﻙ ﻤﺤﻔﻭﺭ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻓﻘﻁ ﻓﻲ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺒﻭﺍﺒﺔ ﺒﻴﺘﻨﺎ، ﻓﺄﺤﺱ ﺒﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻝﺼﻌﻘﺔ ...ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ﻭﻋﻨﻙ ،ﻋﻠﻬﺎ ﺘﺄﺨﺫ ﺭﻭﺤﻲ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺇﺫﻨﻲ ،ﻭﺘﺄﺘﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ"...
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﺒﺴﻤﺔ ﺘﺭﻯ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﺠﻬﻲ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺍﺼﻔﺭﺍﺭ ﻅﺎﻫﺭ ،ﺤﺭﻗـﺔ ﻭﻝﻤﻌـﺎﻥ ﻋﻴﻨﺎﻱ ،ﻀﺭﺏ ﻤﻥ ﺤﺏ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺕ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻭﻗـﺩﻱ ...ﻗـﺩ ﻴﺨـﺩﻋﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻅﻬﺭ ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ ،ﻓﻘﺩ ﻨﺴﻤﻊ ﻀﺤﻜﺔ ﺠﺫﻭﺭﻫﺎ ﻨﺩﻡ ﻭﺤﺴﺭﺓ ،ﻗـﺩ ﻨـﺭﻯ ﺍﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺔ ﻤﻨﺒﻌﻬﺎ ﻝﻭﻋﺔ ﻭﺤﻴﺭﺓ ،ﺃﻭ ﻨﺴﻤﻊ ﻜﻼﻡ ﺴﻠﺱ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﻗﻠﻭﺒﻨـﺎ، ﻭﺼﻌﺏ ﻋﻠﻴﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻌﻴﺵ ﺩﻭﻨﻪ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻌﻅﻡ ﺍﻷﺤﻴﺎﻥ ﻤﺠﺭﺩ ﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﺒﺤﺭﻭﻑ ﻝﻡ ﻨﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﻨﺠﺒﺭ ﺃﻨﻔﺴﻨﺎ ﻭﻨﺤﻭﻝﻬﺎ ﻝﺭﻏﺒﺔ ﻨﺼﺩﻗﻬﺎ... ﻭﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼﻝﻪ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻋﺎﻝﻡ ﺤﺎﻝﻡ ﻭﺍﻝﺸﻌﻭﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺭﺍﺭﺘﻪ ﺃﺴﺭﻉ ﻤﻥ ﺘﺼﻭﺭﻨﺎ ،ﻨﺤﻥ ﻫﻡ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺭﺍﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴـﺼﺩﻕ ﺍﻝﻜﺫﺒـﺔ ،ﻨﺤـﻥ ﺭﻓـﻀﻨﺎ ﻤﺼﺎﺭﺤﺔ ﺃﻨﻔﺴﻨﺎ ،ﻓﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻁﻔل ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﻌﻴﺵ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻨﺎ ﻤﺎﺯﺍل ﺼﻐﻴﺭ، ﻭﻴﺴﺎﻓﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻝﺤﻅﺔ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻋﻠﻰ ﻏﻴﻤﺔ ﻭﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻴﻨﺯل ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﺼﻔﻊ ﺒﻭﺠﻬﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺭﻤﺎل ﻭﻴﻠﻁﺨﻬﺎ ﺒﺎﻝﻘﺫﺍﺭﺓ... ﺃﻋﻁﻴﻨﺎ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻁﻔل ﺤﻘﺎ ﺒﺎﺘﺨﺎﺫ ﻜل ﻗﺭﺍﺭ ﻝﻪ ﻋﻼﻗﺔ ﺒـﺎﻤﺭﺃﺓ ،ﻝـﻪ ﻋﻼﻗﺔ ﺒﺄﻱ ﻗﺼﺔ ﻏﺭﺍﻡ ﺘﻀﻴﻑ ﻝﺤﺠﺭ ﻨﻭﻤﻨﺎ ﻝﻭﻥ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ ...ﺫﻝﻙ ﻫـﻭ ﺍﻝﻁﻔل ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﺨﻀﻊ ﺭﺠﻼ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﺜﻼﺜـﻴﻥ ﻭﺍﻷﺭﺒﻌـﻴﻥ ﻭﺍﻝﺨﻤـﺴﻴﻥ ﻭﻴﺴﺘﻜﺘﺒﻪ ﻋﻥ ﻋﺸﻴﻘﺘﻪ ﻜل ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ...ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻤﺴﺎﺀﺍﺘﻪ ﻭﻓﻲ ﺼـﺤﻭﺘﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﻤﺴﺔ ﻓﺠﺭﺍ ،ﻓﻲ ﺫﻫﺎﺒﻪ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻌﻤل ،ﺍﻨﺘﻅـﺎﺭﻩ ﻓـﻲ ﻤﺤﻁـﺎﺕ 162
ﺍﻝﻘﻁﺎﺭﺍﺕ ،ﻴﻜﺘﺏ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﺼل ﺒﻪ ﻜﺘﺎﺒﺘﻪ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻐﺜﻴﺎﻥ ...ﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﻘﻁـﺎﺭ ﻭﻴﻨﺯل ﺍﻝﺭﻜﺎﺏ ﻭﻴﺼﻌﺩ ﺁﺨﺭﻭﻥ ،ﻴﻤﻀﻲ ﺍﻝﻘﻁـﺎﺭ ،ﻭﻋﻨـﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺭﻓـﻊ ﺭﺃﺴﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻭﺭﺍﻗﻲ ﻭﻴﻘﻊ ﻨﻅﺭﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺃﺭﻯ ﻋﻘﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﺩﻗﺎﺌﻕ ﻗﺩ ﺯﺤﻑ ﻋﺸﺭﻴﻥ ﺩﻗﻴﻘﺔ ﻋﻥ ﻤﻭﻋﺩﻩ ،ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻤﺎﺯﺍل ﻝﻡ ﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﺒﻌﺩ ،ﻓﻼ ﻱ ﻭﺃﻭﺭﺍﻕ ﺼﺤﻑ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺘﺘﻁﺎﻴﺭ ،ﺘﺼﻔﻊ ﻭﺠﻬﻲ ،ﺃﻗﻑ ﺃﺠﺩ ﺃﺤﺩﺍ ﺴﻭﺍ ﺃﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺴﺄﻝﻪ ،ﻋﻥ ﻤﻭﻋﺩ ﻗﻁﺎﺭﻱ ،ﺭﺃﻴﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺎﺒﻠـﺔ ﺸﺎﺒﺎﻥ ،ﺤﻴﻴﺘﻬﻡ" :ﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﺍﻝﺨﻴﺭ ،ﺃﻝﻴﺱ ﺍﻝﻤﻔﺭﻭﺽ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﻘﻁﺎﺭ ﻤﻨﺫ ﻋﺸﺭﻴﻥ ﺩﻗﻴﻘﺔ؟" "ﻨﻌﻡ ،ﻝﻘﺩ ﺃﺘﻰ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻭﻋﺩﻩ ﻭﺫﻫﺏ ﻤﻥ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺭﺼﻴﻑ" ﻭﺃﺸﺎﺭﺍ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺭﺼﻴﻑ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺠﻠﺱ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ...ﺠﻠـﺕ ﺒﺨﻴـﺎﻝﻲ ﻝﻠﺤﻅﺎﺕ ،ﻓﻘﺩﺕ ﻗﺩﺭﺘﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺭﺩ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻝﺘﻌﻠﻴﻕ ...ﻭﻗﻠـﺕ" :ﺸـﻜﺭﺍ... ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﻝﻜﻡ ﻨﻬﺎﺭ ﺠﻤﻴل" ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺜﺎﻨﻴﺔ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺭﺼﻴﻑ ﻭﺃﻭﺭﺍﻗﻲ ﺃﻨﺘﻅﺭ ﺍﻝﻘﻁﺎﺭ ﺍﻷﺨﺭ ،ﺃﺘـﺎﺒﻊ ﺍﻝﻜﺘﺎﺒﺔ ...ﺫﻝﻙ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﻁﻔل ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺒﺩﺍﺨﻠﻨﺎ ،ﻴﺄﻤﺭ ﺍﻝﺭﺠل ﺍﻝﺨﺎﺸـﻊ ﻓـﻲ ﻗﺭﺁﻨﻪ ﻝﻴﻬﺠﺭﻩ ﻭﻴﺫﻫﺏ ﻝﻘﺭﺍﺀﺓ ﻗﺼﺹ ﺍﻝﻐﺭﺍﻡ ﺍﻝﻐﺭﺒﻴﺔ ﻭﺍﻝﺭﻭﺍﻴﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﻋﻁﻴﻨﺎﻫﺎ ﺤﻕ ﺍﻝﻘﺭﺍﺭ ﻝﻘﻠﻭﺒﻨﺎ ،ﺃﻫﻤﻠﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﻭﺃﻁﻠﻘﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻌﻨﺎﻥ ﻝﻪ ﻭﺫﻫﺒﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻤﻐﺎﻤﺭﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﻘﺼﻴﺭﺓ ﻭﺠﻠﺴﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﺀ.
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ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺍﺴﺘﺒﺩﻝﺕ ﺨﺸﻭﻋﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺼﻼﺘﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺨﻠـﻭﺓ ﻤﻌﻬـﺎ... ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺒﺯﺘﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻤﻠﻲ ﺃﻭﺭﺍﻗـﺎ ﻭﺃﺯﺭﺍﺭ ﻗﻤﻴـﺼﻲ ﺃﻗﻼﻤـﺎ ﻭﺭﺒﻁﺔ ﺍﻝﻌﻨﻕ ﻜﺎﺘﺒﺎ ﻴﻜﺘﺏ ﺩﻭﻥ ﻜﻠل ﺃﻭ ﻤﻠل ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺴﺎﻋﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻌﻤـل ﻭﺍﻻﺴﺘﺭﺍﺤﺔ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ...ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻋﻨﺩﻱ ﺍﻝﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻤﻤﺎ ﺃﻗﻭﻝﻪ. ﺃﻨﺘﻬﻲ ﻋﻤﻠﻲ ﻭﺍﺘﺠﻬﺕ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﻓﻠﺔ ﻭﺃﺘﺭﺠﻡ ﺒﺸﻔﺎﻫﻲ ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﻱ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﻨﺴﻴﺎﻨﻬﺎ ،ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻓﺘﺎﺓ ﺘﺴﻴﺭ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻲ ،ﺴﺄﻝﺘﻬﺎ" :ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ﻝﻭ ﺴﻤﺤﺘﻲ!" ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺘﻘﺭﻴﺒﺎ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﺒﻌﺔ ﻭﺍﻝﻌﺸﺭﻴﻥ ﺩﻗﻴﻘﺔ ﻤﺴﺎﺀ "ﺃﺘـﺴﻤﺤﻲ ﻝـﻲ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺃﻀﻊ ﺩﻓﺘﺭﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻜﺘﻔﻴﻙ ﺍﻝﺠﻤﻴﻠـﻴﻥ؟ ﺃﺭﻴـﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻜﺘـﺏ ﺸﻌﻭﺭﺍ ﺠﻤﻴﻼ ﻝﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻭﺃﺨﺎﻑ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻨﺴﺎﻩ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻜﺘﺒﻬﺎ ﺒـﻨﻔﺱ ﻨﺒﺽ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ" ﻏﻀﺒﺕ ...ﺍﻋﺘﻘﺩﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺴﺅﺍﻝﻲ ﻻﺴﺘﻔﺯﺍﺯﻫﺎ ،ﻓﺄﻨـﺎ ﻝـﻡ ﺃﺘﻐـﺯل ﺒﻌﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻫﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺸﺭﺏ ﻤﻌﻲ ﻓﻨﺠﺎﻥ ﻗﻬﻭﺓ ﻭﻝﻡ ﺃﻁﻠـﺏ ﺭﻗـﻡ ﻫﺎﺘﻔﻬﺎ ،ﺘﺎﺒﻌﺕ ﻤﺴﻴﺭﻫﺎ ﺘﺠﺎﻫﻠﺘﻨﻲ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺸﺘﻤﻨﻲ ﺃﻭ ﺘﺒﺎﺩﻝﻨﻲ ﻜﻠﻤﺔ. ﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﺍﻝﺴﻴﺩﺓ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﻭﺍﻗﻌﻲ ...ﺘﻌﻴﺵ ﺁﻻﻡ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻷﻤـﺱ ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ،ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ...ﻭﺤﻤﻠﺘﻨﻲ ﺒﺎﺨﺘﻴﺎﺭﻱ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻋﺎﻝﻡ ﻋﺭﻓﺘﻪ ﻤـﻥ ﻁﺭﻴـﻕ ﻤﺨﺘﻠﻑ ،ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻬﺎ ﻝﻪ ﻭﻗﻊ ﻓﻲ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻭﻤﻴﻠﻬﺎ ...ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻓﻲ ﻜﺜﻴـﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻷﺤﻴﺎﻥ ﻤﺜل ﺇﺩﻤﺎﻥ ﺃﻭ ﻤﺭﺽ ﻻ ﻴﺯﻭل ﺇﻻ ﺒﻤﻭﺍﺼﻠﺔ ﺍﻝﻌﻼﺝ ،ﻭﻝﻪ ﺃﻋﺭﺍﺽ ﺠﺎﻨﺒﻴﺔ ﺨﻁﻴﺭﺓ ،ﻤﺜل ﺃﻥ ﻴﻌﺎﻨﻲ ﺸﺨﺹ ﻤﻥ ﺼﺩﺍﻉ ﻨـﺼﻔﻲ 164
ﻭﻴﻜﺘﺏ ﻝﻪ ﻁﺒﻴﺒﻪ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﺹ ﻭﺼﻔﺔ ﺘﻨﻬﻲ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺼﺩﺍﻉ ﺍﻝﻨﺼﻔﻲ ،ﺇﻻ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻴﺴﺒﺏ ﺁﻻﻤﺎ ﺤﺎﺩﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻌﺩﺓ. ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻌﻅﻡ ﺍﻷﺤﻴﺎﻥ ،ﻗﺩ ﻨﺘﺨﻠﺹ ﻤﻥ ﻗﺼﺹ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻭﺍﻝﻐﺭﺍﻡ ﺍﻝﻤﺅﻝﻤﺔ ،ﻝﻜﻨﻨﺎ ﺴﻨﻌﻴﺵ ﺃﻝﻤﺎ ﺁﺨﺭ ،ﺍﻋﺘـﺎﺩﺕ ﺍﻝـﻨﻔﺱ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺍﻨﺸﻐﺎل ﻋﺎﻁﻔﻲ ﺒﻜل ﺼﻭﺭﻩ ،ﺒﺄﻝﻤﻪ ،ﻓﺭﺤﻪ ،ﺼﺒﻴﺎﻨﻴﺘﻪ ﻭﻤﺭﺍﻫﻘﺎﺘﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺠﻤﻴﻊ ﺃﻭﻗﺎﺘﻪ ،ﺫﻝﻙ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺽ ﺍﻝﻭﺤﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻨﺘﻤﻨﺎﻩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺴﺘﻔﺤل ﻓﻴﻨﺎ، ﻫﻭ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻹﺩﻤﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻨﺴﺘﻤﺘﻊ ﻓﻴﻪ ،ﻭﻻ ﻨﺭﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﺨﻼﺹ ﻤﻨﻪ. ﺇﻨﻪ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺤﻤل ﺃﻁﻔﺎل ﺸﺎﻫﺩﻭﺍ ﻓﺭﺱ ﺒﺭﺃﺱ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺇﺤﺩﻯ ﺍﻝﻘﻨﻭﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﺘﻠﻔﺯﻴﻭﻨﻴﺔ ،ﻭﺫﻫﺏ ﻜل ﻭﺍﺤﺩ ﻤﻨﻬﻡ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻤﻪ ﻴﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺭﻜﺒـﻪ ﻭﺒﺠﻨﺎﺤﻴﻥ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﻴﻥ ،ﻫﻭ ﻻ ﻴﻬﻤﻪ ﺃﻥ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺱ ﻤﻭﺠﻭﺩ ﻓﻌـﻼ ﺃﻡ ﻻ، ﻭﻻ ﻴﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻌﺭﻑ ﺃﺼﻼ ﺇﻥ ﻜﺎﻥ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﺤﻘﻴﻘﺔ ﺃﻡ ﺨﻴﺎل ،ﻜـل ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﺭﻴﺩﻩ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺱ ﺒﻭﺠﻪ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ،ﻭﻻ ﻴﺭﻴﺩ ﺴـﻤﺎﻉ ﺃﻱ ﺸـﻲﺀ ﺴﻭﻯ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﺍﻓﻘﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻁﻠﺒﻪ ﻭﺍﻝﻌﻤل ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﺼﻭل ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ،ﻭﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﻫـﻭ ﺤﺎل ﺍﻝﻤﺤﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﺸﻘﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻬﺎﺌﻤﻴﻥ. ﺘﺘﻌﻁل ﻜل ﺨﻼﻴﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﺦ ﻭﻻ ﺘﻌﻤل ﺇﻻ ﻭﺍﺤﺩﺓ ،ﺍﻝﺨﻠﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘـﺼﺩﺭ ﺍﻷﻭﺍﻤﺭ ﺒﺎﻝﺤﺏ ...ﻻ ﻴﺭﻯ ﺃﺤﺩﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﻏﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻴﺤﺏ ،ﻻ ﻤﺘﻌﺔ ﺩﻭﻨﻬﺎ ﻭﻻ ﺤﻴﺎﺓ ،ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﻔﻜﺭ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻭﺇﻥ ﻁﺭﺡ ﺃﻱ ﻤﻭﻀﻭﻉ ﺁﺨﺭ ﺒﻌﻴﺩﺍ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ،ﺤﺎﻭل ﺍﻻﻨﺴﺤﺎﺏ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﻀﻭﻉ ﺒﻁﺭﻴﻘﺔ ﺘﺼﺒﺢ ﺒﻬﺎ 165
ﺍﻝﺒﻭﺭﺼﺔ ﺼﺎﻝﻭﻨﺎ ﺸﻌﺭﻴﺎ ...ﻴﺫﻫﺏ ﺒﺎﺌﻊ ﺍﻝﺨﻀﺎﺭ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﻴـﺕ ﺍﻝﺘـﻲ ﺘﺴﻜﻨﻪ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻪ ...ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﺴﺄﻝﻪ ﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺘﻰ ﺒﻙ؟ ﻴﺩﻋﻲ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻴﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻭﺼل ﻁﻠﺏ ﻝﻭﺍﻝﺩﻴﻬﺎ ...ﺫﻝﻙ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﻤﺤﺏ ،ﻴﺤﻭل ﻜل ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻝﻌﺒﺎﺭﺓ، ﺃﻭ ﺼﻭﺭﺓ ﻝﻬﺎ ﻓﻬﻭ ﻻ ﻴﺭﻯ ﺴﻭﺍﻫﺎ ...ﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﺒﺤﺜﻨﺎ ﻋﻨﻪ ...ﺍﺨﺘﺭﻨﺎﻩ، ﺭﻏﻡ ﻋﻠﻤﻨﺎ ﺒﺄﺸﻭﺍﻜﻪ ﻭﻭﻋﺎﺭﺘﻪ ،ﻨﺤﻥ ﻻ ﻨﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻨﺭﻯ ﺃﻭ ﻨﻌﻴﺵ ﺴﻭﻯ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﺘﻤﻨﺎﻩ ﺃﻨﻔﺴﻨﺎ ﻭﺘﺤﻠﻡ ﺒﻪ. ﻜل ﺍﻝﻌﻭﺍﺌﻕ ﺍﻝﻅﺎﻫﺭﺓ ﻝﻠﺠﻤﻴﻊ ﻨﺩﻋﻲ ﺒﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﺤﻴﺜﻴﺎﺕ ﻭﺃﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻋﺎﺭﻀﺔ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺃﻱ ﺃﻫﻤﻴﺔ ﻭﻨﻘﻭل" :ﺍﻝﻤﻬﻡ ﺃﻥ ﻨﻌﺭﻑ ﻤﺎ ﻨﺭﻴﺩ" ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﻘﻴﻘﺔ ﺃﻨﻨﺎ ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ ﻻ ﻨﻌﻠﻡ ﺤﻘﻴﻘﺔ ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ،ﺤﺘـﻰ ﺃﻨﻨـﺎ ﻤـﻥ ﺴﻜﺭﺘﻨﺎ ﺒﺎﻝﺤﺒﻴﺏ ﻻ ﻨﻌﻲ ﺃﻴﻥ ﻨﻘﻑ ،ﺃﻨﺴﻴﺭ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺭﻤـﺎل ﻤﺘﺤﺭﻜـﺔ ﺃﻡ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻭﺤل ،ﻨﻤﺸﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﻻ ﻨﻌﺭﻑ ﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ﻝـﻪ ،ﻭﻨـﺩﻋﻲ ﺃﻨﻨـﺎ ﺴﻨﻜﺘﺏ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ،ﺭﻏﻡ ﻋﻠﻤﻨﺎ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺍﻷﻤﺭ ﻝﻴﺱ ﺒﻴﺩﻴﻨﺎ ،ﻨﺒﺩﺃ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻤﻌﺎﻨﺎﺓ ﻗﺩ ﺍﻨﺘﻅﺭﻨﺎﻫﺎ ...ﺨﺩﻋﺕ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻭﻗﻠﺕ" :ﻻ ...ﻓﺎﻝﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺼﺎﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﺤﻕ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ" ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻨﺨﻁ ﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ﻜﺘﺒﺕ ﺒﺎﻝﺩﻤﻭﻉ ﻭﺍﻷﺤﺯﺍﻥ ﻭﺒﻜـل ﺼـﻭﺕ ﺤﺯﻴﻥ ،ﻜل ﻗﺼﻴﺩﺓ ﺒﺎﻜﻴﺔ ﺘﺤﻜﻲ ﻝﻨﺎ ﻋﻥ ﺁﻻﻤﻨﺎ ﻭﺘﻭﺍﺴﻴﻨﺎ ﻭﻨﻘﺴﻡ ﺃﻨﻨﺎ ﻻ ﻭﻝﻥ ﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﻓﻲ ﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﻻ ﻨﻌﺭﻓﻪ ،ﻨﻌﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻨﻨﺎ ﻭﺼـﻠﻨﺎ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﻤـﺴﺘﻭﻯ ﺃﺼﺒﺤﻨﺎ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺃﺼﺤﺎﺏ ﺨﺒﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﻗﺼﺹ ﺍﻝﻨﺴﺎﺀ ﻭﻨﻘﻭل" :ﻻ ﻫﺫﺍ ﻝـﻥ ﻴﺤﺩﺙ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻓﻨﺤﻥ ﻻ ﻨﻠﺩﻍ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﻭﺍﺤﺩ ﻤﺭﺘﻴﻥ" ﻨﻌﺘﻘﺩ ﻜل 166
ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﺒﺄﻨﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﻨﻌﻴﺵ ﺍﻷﻝﻡ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ،ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﺸﺎﺀ ﺍﻷﻗﺩﺍﺭ ﻭﺘـﺄﺘﻲ ﺍﻷﻴﺎﻡ ﻝﻲ ﺒﻔﺘﺎﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﺎﺴﻌﺔ ﻋﺸﺭ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻱ ﺘﺠﺭﺒﺔ ﺤﺏ ...ﻫﻲ ﻗﺎﻝـﺕ ﻝﻲ ﻫﺫﺍ... ﺃﺒﺩﺃ ﻤﻌﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﻭﺤﺩﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺴﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﻗﺩﺭ ﺤﺒﻲ ،ﻭﺤﺩﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻌﻁﻴﻨﻲ ﺇﻴﺎﻩ ﻭﻜل ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﻨﺘﻅﺭﻩ ﻭﺃﺘﻤﻨﺎﻩ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ،ﺍﻝﺘـﻲ ﺘﺤﻤل ﻝﻲ ﺤﺏ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺤﺸﺎﺌﻬﺎ ...ﺒﺭﻨﻴﻥ ،ﻏﻨﺎﺀ ،ﻋﺯﻑ ﻨﺎﻱ ﻭﺯﺩ ﻋﻠﻴـﻪ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻤﺎﻨﻲ ...ﻭﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺃﺘﺭﻨﺢ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻬﺎﻭﻴـﺔ ،ﺃﺒـﺩﺃ ﻨﻔـﺱ ﺍﻝﺘﺠﺭﺒـﺔ ﺍﻷﻭﻝﻰ ...ﻫﻲ ﺴﻜﻨﺕ ﻤﻘﻠﺘﻲ ،ﺃﺨﺼﺒﺕ ﺭﻴﻔﻲ ﻭﺼﺎﺭ ﺯﺒﺩﻫﺎ ﺨﻤـﺭﺍ ﻤﻌﺘﻕ ﻭﻭﻓﺎﺀ ،ﻁﺒﻌﻬﺎ ﻜﺘﺎﺏ ﻤﻘﺩﺱ ،ﺃﺨﻼﻗﻬﺎ ﻗﺎﻨﻭﻥ ﻴﺅﺨـﺫ ﺒـﻪ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺤﺎﻜﻡ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﻨﻴﺔ ،ﻭﺠﻤﺎﻝﻬﺎ ﻝﻭﺤﺔ ﻝﻭ ﻋﺭﻀﺕ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺘﺤـﻑ ﻝﺘﻨﺎﺯﻋـﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻅﻠﻤﺔ ﺍﻝﺩﻨﻴﺎ ،ﺤﻜﺎﻤﻬﺎ ﻭﻓﻨﺎﻨﻭﻫﺎ. ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﻨﺤﻥ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻨﺤﺏ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ،ﻨﺒﻜﻲ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻬﺎ ﻭﻨﻌﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺩﻤﻭﻋﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺤﻀﺎﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﺭﺠﻤﺔ ﻹﺸﺭﺍﻗﺔ ﺘﺘﺠﻠﻰ ﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﻨﺎﻫﺎ ...ﺘﺴﺩ ﺒﻴﺎﻀﻬﺎ ﻋﻨﻲ، ﺘﺴﺩل ﻋﻠﻰ ﺒﺸﺭﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﺨﻤﻠﻲ ﺜﻴﺎﺒﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺭﻗﻴﻘﺔ ،ﺘﺭﺤل ...ﻭﺃﺒﻜﻲ ،ﺃﺭﺘﺠﻑ ﻭﺃﺸﺩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﺴﻨﺎﻨﻲ ﺃﻜﺴﺭ ﺍﻝﺤﺼﻰ ...ﺃﻗﻭل ﻝﻬﺎ" :ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ...ﺃﺤﺒـﻙ... ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺴﺭﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻨﻙ ﻭﻭﺠﺩﻙ ،ﻝـﻡ ﻴﺠﺒﺭﻭﻨـﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴﻕ ،ﻝﻘﺩ ﺭﺃﻴﺘﻙ ﻭﺤﺩﻙ ﻗﺒل ﺍﻝﻤﻐﺭﺏ ﻤـﻥ ﺒﻌﻴـﺩ ﺘﻤـﺸﻴﻥ ﻭﺸﺩﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﺸﺭﺍﺭﺓ ﺨﻁﻭﺘﻙ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺒﻌﺜـﺭﺓ ...ﺤﺘـﻰ ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒـﺕ ﻤﻨـﻙ 167
ﻭﺤﻴﻴﺘﻨﻲ ﺒﺭﺍﺌﺤﺘﻙ ﺍﻝﻁﻴﺒﺔ ﻭﺴﺄﻝﺘﻙ ...ﺃﻨﺕ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺘﺤﺩﺜﻲ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﺘﻨﻅﺭﻱ ﻭﺘﺒﺘﺴﻤﻲ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﺤﺘﻤل ﻫﺩﻭﺌﻙ ،ﻓﻬﻭ ﻴﺒﻌﺜﺭﻨﻲ ﻭﻴﻨﺜﺭ ﻜﻠﻤـﺎﺘﻲ ﻭﻋﺭﻓﺕ ﻤﺩﻯ ﺴﺤﺭﻙ ﻋﻠﻲ ﻭﺴﺄﻝﺘﻨﻲ :ﻫل ﺃﻨﺕ ﻤﺭﻴﺽ؟" ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻙ" :ﻻ ...ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﺴﺕ ﻤﺭﻴﺽ ،ﻫـل ﺃﻤﻁـﺭﺕ ﺍﻝـﺩﻨﻴﺎ ﻴـﻭﻡ ﻤﻭﻝﺩﻙ؟" "ﻨﻌﻡ ...ﺃﻤﻲ ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﻝﻲ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﻝﻴﻠﺔ ﻤﺎﻁﺭﺓ" "ﻻ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻤﻴﻠﺔ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﺀ ،ﺫﺍﻙ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻤﻁﺭﺍ ﺒل ﺒﻜـﺎﺀ ﺍﻝـﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻭﻨﺤﻴﺒﻬﺎ ﻷﻨﻬﺎ ﺨﺴﺭﺕ ﺃﺠﻤل ﻨﺠﻤﺔ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ" "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺃﺤﻀﻨﻲ ﻭﺴﺎﺩﺘﻙ ﻭﻀﻌﻲ ﻴﺩﻙ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺨﺩﻙ ﻭﺜﻘﻲ ﺘﻤﺎﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺴﺄﻜﻭﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺤﻼﻤﻙ ...ﻴﺎ ﺨﻭﻓﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻐﺩ ...ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺃﻱ ﻤﻨﺠﻤﺔ ﺘﺤﻜﻲ ﻝﻲ ﻋﻨﻪ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﻗﺴﻤﺕ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻱ ﻗﺎﺭﺌﺔ ﻁﺎﻝﻊ ،ﺃﻗﺴﻤﺕ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺅﻤﻥ ﻝﺸﺭﺍﺭﺓ ﻤﻨﺠﻤﺔ ...ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺤﺠﺭﺘـﻲ، ﻭﻝﻥ ﺃﺨﺘﻠﻕ ﻝﻠﺨﻴﺎﻨﺔ ﺃﻋﺫﺍﺭﺍ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺴﻤﺎﻋﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻗﺴﻤﺕ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝـﻥ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺍﻝﺼﻭﺍﺏ ﺇﻻ ﻜﻤﺎ ﻫﻭ ...ﺼﻭﺍﺏ ،ﺃﻗﺴﻤﺕ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺤﺏ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻤـﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻤﺭﺘﺒﻁﺔ ﺒﻌﻼﻗﺔ ﺃﻭ ﺨﻁﺒﺔ ،ﻝﻥ ﺃﺤﺏ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺍﺩﻋﺕ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﺯﻭﺠﺕ ﺘﺤﺕ ﻀﻐﻭﻁ ،ﺃﻭ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻓﺴﺨﺕ ﺨﻁﺒﺘﻬﺎ ﻷﻨﻬﺎ ﺃﺤﺒﺕ ﺁﺨﺭ ﻅﻬﺭ ﻓـﻲ
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ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻬﺎ ﻗﺒل ﺍﻝﺯﻭﺍﺝ ﺒﺒﻀﻌﺔ ﺃﻴﺎﻡ ،ﻭﺃﻨﻲ ﻻ ﻭﻝﻥ ﺃﻋﻴﺵ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻻ ﻓﻲ ﻅل ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻭﻻ ﻓﻲ ﻅﻼﻤﻬﺎ.
169
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﻝﻘﺩ ﻗﺭﺭﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻀﻊ ﻜل ﺍﻝﻨﺴﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻬـﺎ ﺘﺤـﺕ ﻤﺠﻬـﺭﻱ ﻭﺍﺴﺘﻨﺒﻁ ﺍﻝﻨﺘﻴﺠﺔ ،ﻗﺭﺭﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﻤل ﻤﺤﻘﻕ ﺸﺨﺼﻲ ﻗﺒـل ﺃﻥ ﺃﻜـﻭﻥ ﻋﺎﺸﻕ ﻤﺤﺏ ﻭﺃﻥ ﺃﺴﺘﺒﺩل ﺍﻝﻌﺼﻴﺭ ﺒﺎﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺸﺭﺏ ﻤﺎ ﻴﺯﻴﺩ ﻋـﻥ ﺜﻼﺜﺔ ﻓﻨﺎﺠﻴﻥ ﻗﻬﻭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻭﺃﺴﺘﺒﺩل ﺍﻝﻠﺤﻭﻡ ﺒﺎﻷﺴﻤﺎﻙ ،ﻝﻘﺩ ﻗـﺭﺭﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﻌﺔ ﺍﻝﺠﻐﺭﺍﻓﻴﺔ ﻷﻱ ﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﺫﻫﺎﺏ ﺇﻝﻴـﻪ ﻭﻋـﺩﺩ ﻨﻘﺎﻁ ﺍﻝﺘﻔﺘﻴﺵ ﺍﻝﻌﺴﻜﺭﻴﺔ ﻭﺃﻤﺎﻜﻨﻬﺎ ﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﺃﻨﻭﻱ ﺍﻝﺴﻔﺭ ...ﻝﻥ ﺃﻨـﺴﻰ ﻭﺜﻴﻘﺔ ﺴﻔﺭﻱ ،ﻝﻘﺩ ﻗﺭﺭﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺨﻀﻊ ﺃﻱ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺴﺄﺤﺒﻬﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻤﺘﺤـﺎﻥ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻭﺃﻀﻊ ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﻱ ﺒﺎﻝﺜﻠﺞ ﺒﻴﻥ ﻗﻭﺍﺭﻴﺭ ﻋﺼﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﺸﻌﻴﺭ ...ﻭﻤـﻥ ﺩﻤﻭﻋﻲ ﺒﺭﻭﻓﺔ ﻝﻤﺴﺭﺤﻴﺔ ﺩﺭﺍﻤﻴﺔ... ﺃﻋﺩﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺴﺄﺤﺒﻬﺎ ﺒﺄﻨﻲ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺭﻀﻰ ﺒﺸﻲﺀ ﻻ ﻴـﺴﻌﺩﻙ ،ﻝـﻥ ﺃﺭﻀﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺇﻻ ﺃﻤﻴﺭﺘﻲ ،ﺃﻋﺩﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺴﺄﺤﺒﻬﺎ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝـﻥ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺇﻻ ﻤﺎ ﺘﺭﺍﻩ ﺍﻝﻌﻴﻨﻴﻥ ،ﻭﻝﻥ ﺃﺼﺩﻕ ﺴﻭﻯ ﻋﻘﻠﻲ ،ﺃﻋﺩﻙ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺤﺒـﻙ ﺇﻻ ﺒﻘﻠﺒﻲ ،ﻭﻝﻥ ﺃﺤﻜﻡ ﻓﻲ ﺤﺒﻲ ﺴﻭﻯ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﻁـﻕ ،ﻓﺄﻨـﺎ ﻗـﺩ ﺃﻗـﺴﻤﺕ ﻭﻋﺎﻫﺩﺕ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﺃﻥ ﻻ ﺃﻋﻴﺵ ﺠﺭﺍﺤﺎﺕ ﺘﻌﻔﻨﺕ ...ﺍﻋﺘﺭﻓﺕ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺒﺤﺎﺠﺔ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻭﻗﺕ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﺒﺩﺃ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺼﻔﺭ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ،ﻭﺴﺄﺒﻘﻰ ﺃﻋﻴﺵ ﻗﺼﺹ ﺤﺏ ﻗﺼﻴﺭﺓ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﺼﺒﺢ ﺍﻝﺼﻔﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﻨﺎﻭل ،ﻋﻨﺩﻫﺎ ﺴﺄﺒﺩﺃ ﻁﺭﻴـﻕ ﺴﺄﻜﺘﺸﻔﻬﺎ. 171
"ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﻘﻑ ،ﺘﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﺒﺎﺴﻡ ﺭﺠﺎل ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻡ ﻭﻨـﺴﺎﺌﻬﺎ، ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﺨﻭﺽ ﻓﻲ ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻙ ﻭﺍﻨﻔﻌﺎﻻﺘﻙ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺒﻬـﺎ ﺼـﺩﻕ ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﻙ ،ﺃﺭﻯ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻏﻀﺏ ﻭﻓﺭﺡ ،ﺃﻤﻼ ﻭﺨﻴﺒﺔ ﺃﻤل ،ﻜل ﻫـﺫﺍ ﺃﺭﺍﻩ ﻓﻲ ﻭﺠﻬﻙ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﻘﻭل ﻨﺤﻥ ...ﻓﺄﺤﺱ ﺒﺄﻨﻙ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻡ ﻭﺤﺩﻙ ﻭﻜل ﺭﺠﺎل ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻡ ﺃﺠﺯﺍﺀ" ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﺠﻠﺱ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﻤﺒﺘﺴﻤﺔ ﺘﺭﺍﻗﺒﻨﺎ ،ﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﻜﻠﻤـﺎ ﺃﺤﺒﺒـﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻫﺭﺏ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻴﺎﻤﻲ ﺃﺭﺁﻫﺎ ﻜل ﻴﻭﻡ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻲ ،ﺃﺭﻯ ﻜـل ﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀـﻲ ﻓـﻲ ﻝﺤﻅﺎﺕ ﻜﻬﺫﻩ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼﻝﻜﻡ ،ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﻝﻜﻡ ﺃﻋﺯﺍﺌﻲ ﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﺴﻌﻴﺩﺓ ﻤﻠﺌﻬﺎ ﻓﺭﺤﺎ ﻭﻀﺤﻜﺎﺕ ﻭﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻨﻬﺎﻴﺘﻜﻡ ﻭﺍﺤﺩﺓ ﻭﺃﻥ ﻻ ﻴﺴﺘﺒﻕ ﺃﺤﺩﻜﻡ ﺍﻷﺤﺩﺍﺙ، ﻓﺄﻨﺘﻡ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻘﺘﺒل ﺍﻝﻌﻤﺭ ،ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﻝﻜﻡ ﺃﻤﻨﺎ ﻭﺃﻥ ﻻ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻝﻠﺨﻭﻑ ﻭﺍﻝﺸﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻜﻡ ﻤﻁﺭﺡ ،ﻭﺇﻥ ﻝﻠﻐﺩ ﻜﺒﻭﺍﺕ ﺍﺤﺫﺭﻭﻫﺎ ﻭﻝﺘﻜﻥ ﺃﻗﺩﺍﻤﻜﻡ ﺃﻁﻭل ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﻔﺭ ،ﻭﻻ ﺘﺴﺘﺒﻘﻭﺍ ﺍﻷﺤﺩﺍﺙ ﻓﻔﻴﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺨﻁﺄ ﻭﺇﻥ ﻭﻗـﻊ ﻋﺸـﺸﺕ ﺍﻝﺸﻜﻭﻙ ﻓﻲ ﻗﻠﻭﺒﻜﻡ ،ﺃﻭﺤﻠﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻜﻡ ﻭﺼﺎﺭﺕ ﺴـﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﻗـﺩ ﻻ ﻴﺸﻔﻰ ﻭﺍﺴﺘﺒﺩل ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺤﺔ ﺘﺭﺤﺔ ﻭﺍﻝﺒﺴﻤﺔ ﺁﻫﺎﺕ ﻭﺃﻨﻴﻥ ...ﺍﻋﻠﻤﻭﺍ ﺒـﺄﻥ ﺍﻝﻐﺩ ﺁﺘﻲ ﺇﻥ ﺸﺌﺘﻡ ﺃﻡ ﺃﺒﻴﺘﻡ ،ﺴﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﺒﺠﻌﺒﻪ ﺍﻝﻤﻠﻴﺌﺔ ﻨﻤﻠﻙ ﻗﺴﻡ ﻜﺒﻴﺭ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﻵﺨﺭ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ﻤﻥ ﺤﻭﻝﻨﺎ ...ﻻ ﺃﻋﻠﻡ! ﻫل ﻫﺫﺍ ﻤﻥ ﺘﻬﻜﻡ ﺍﻷﻗـﺩﺍﺭ ﺃﻡ ﺤﻜﻤﺘﻬﺎ!"
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ﻭﺒﺼﻭﺕ ﻁﻠﻴﻕ ﻤﻠﺌﻪ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺡ ،ﺤﺭﻭﻓﻪ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺨـﻀﻊ ﻝﺭﻗﺎﺒﺘﻬـﺎ ﻗﺒـل ﺼﺩﻭﺭﻫﺎ ﻭﻫﻲ ﺘﺠﻠﺱ ﻭﺘﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﻤﻊ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﺒﻁﺭﻴﻘﺔ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻬﺎ ﻤـﻥ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺘﺤﺩﺜﺕ ﻤﻊ ﻏﺭﺒﺎﺀ ،ﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﺃﺘﻌﻠﻡ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ؟ ﺃﺤﺱ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﻤﻨﺫ ﺯﻤﻥ ﻁﻭﻴل" ﺍﻝﻜﻼﻡ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﺴﻤﻌﻬﺎ "ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﻤﻌﻨﺎ ﻁﻴﻠـﺔ ﺍﻝﻭﻗـﺕ ،ﻓﺤـﺩﻴﺜﻬﺎ ﺒﻌﻔﻭﻴﺘﻪ ،ﺒﺴﺎﻁﺘﻪ ﻭﺴﻼﺴﺘﻪ ﻴﻌﻁﻲ ﺇﺤﺴﺎﺱ ﻝﻶﺨﺭﻴﻥ ﻭﻴﺄﺨـﺫ ﻤﻨـﻲ ﺘﻠﺒﻜﻲ ﻭﺘﺼﻨﻌﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺭﺩﻭﺩ" ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. "ﻝﻘﺩ ﻻﺤﻅﺕ ﺍﻨﻁﻼﻗﺘﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺘﺩﻫﺎ ﻤﻨﻙ ،ﻭﺍﻝﺴﻴﺩﺓ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﻤﻀﻴﺎﻓﺔ ﻭﻝﻬﺎ ﺤﻀﻭﺭ ﻭﻨﺤﻥ ﺴﻌﻴﺩﻴﻥ ﺒﻤﻌﺭﻓﺘﻬﺎ" ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺭﺍﻗﺏ ﺍﻝﺴﻴﺩﺓ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﺨﻼل ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻲ ﻤﻊ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. "ﻁﺒﻌﻙ ﺴﻴﺩﺓ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﻭﻁﺭﻴﻘﺔ ﻜﻼﻤﻙ ﻝﻬﻡ ﻜل ﺍﻷﺜـﺭ ﻓـﻲ ﺭﺩﻭﺩ ﻓﻌل ﻤﻥ ﻴﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ .ﻜﻴﻑ ﺘﻘﻀﻲ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﻫﻨﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ؟" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﻤﻀﻲ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻹﻁﻼﻕ ،ﻭﻫﺫﺍ ﻴﺤﺯﻨﻨﻲ ،ﻓﺎﻝﻌﻤﺭ ﻴﻤﻀﻲ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻜﺒﺭ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ! ﺃﺴﺘﻴﻘﻅ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﻜﺭ ﺃﺸﺭﺏ ﻗﻬـﻭﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺍﻋﺘﺩﺕ ﺸﺭﺒﻬﺎ ﻤﻊ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ ،ﻫﻭ ﻴﺸﺭﺏ ﺜﻼﺜﺔ ﻓﻨﺎﺠﻴﻥ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﺜﻨﻴﻥ، ﻓﻲ ﻤﻌﻅﻡ ﺍﻷﺤﻴﺎﻥ ﻜﻨﺎ ﻨﺤﺘﺴﻲ ﻗﻬﻭﺘﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻁـﺒﺦ ،ﻭﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨـﺎ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﻘﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺼﻭﺕ ﺍﻝﻌﺼﺎﻓﻴﺭ .ﻴﺫﻫﺏ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ ﺍﻝﺠﻠـﻭﺱ 173
ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﻨﻅﻑ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﺒﺦ ،ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻨﻨﺘﻬﻲ ﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﻘل ﻤﻌﺎ ،ﻨﺒﺩﺃ ﻴﻭﻤﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﻜﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﻤل ،ﻫﻭ ﻴﻌﻤل ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﻘـل ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻌﻅﻡ ﺍﻷﺤﻴﺎﻥ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﻅﻴﺭﺓ ﺍﻷﺒﻘﺎﺭ ،ﻫﻲ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ﻭﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﻘﺭﺒﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ،ﻨﺒﻘﻲ ﻭﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﻴﻤﻀﻲ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻨـﺸﻌﺭ ﺒـﻪ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﻅﻴﺭﺓ ،ﻨﺩﺨل ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ،ﻨﺠﻠـﺱ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﺩﻴﺔ ﻋﺸﺭ ،ﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﺇﻝ ﺴﻭﻴﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﺒﺦ ﻭﻨﺄﻜل ﻭﺠﺒﺔ ﺍﻹﻓﻁﺎﺭ ،ﺍﻝﻘﻬﻭﺓ ،ﻭﺍﻝﻌﺠﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺤـﺸﻲ ﺒﺠﺒﻥ ﺍﻝﻀﺄﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﻝﺢ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﻥ ،ﺃﻁﻬﻴﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤـﺴﺎﺀ ﻭﻨـﺴﺨﻨﻪ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﻝﻀﻴﻕ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ،ﻨﺄﺨﺫ ﻗﺴﻁﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﺍﺤﺔ ،ﻴـﺫﻫﺏ ﻫـﻭ ﻤـﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﻘل ﻝﻴﺘﻡ ﺃﻋﻤﺎﻝﻪ... ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻤﺘﻌﺔ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﻤل ﺍﻝﺠﻤﺎﻋﻲ ﻤﻌﻪ ﻭﻷﻨﻨﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﻪ ،ﺃﺫﻫـﺏ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻠﺤﻅﻴﺭﺓ ﻜﻲ ﺃﻜﻤل ﺘﻨﻅﻴﻔﻬﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﺜﺎﻝﺜﺔ ﻭﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻫﻭ ﻗﺩ ﺍﻨﺘﻬﻰ ﻤﻥ ﻋﻤﻠﻪ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻭﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﻝﻴﺴﺎﻋﺩﻨﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺘﺤـﻀﻴﺭ ﺍﻷﻋـﻼﻑ ﻝﻸﺒﻘﺎﺭ ،ﻓﻬﻲ ﺒﺄﻜﻴﺎﺱ ﺒﻼﺴﺘﻴﻜﻴﺔ ﺭﺯﻴﻨﺔ ﻻ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﻭﺤﺩﻱ ﺤﻤﻠﻬﺎ" "ﺃﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺃﻱ ﺨﻼﻓﺎﺕ ﺒﻴﻨﻜﻤﺎ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ؟ ﺇﻥ ﺴﻤﺤﺘﻲ ﻝﻲ ﺒـﺄﻥ ﺃﻨﺎﺩﻴﻙ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﺒﺎﺴﻤﻙ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻝﻘﺎﺏ؟" "ﻻ ﺒﺎﻝﻌﻜﺱ ﻴﺴﻌﺩﻨﻲ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻨﺎﺩﻴﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ﺒﺎﺴﻤﻲ ﺍﻷﻭل ﻜﻤـﺎ ﻜـﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺎل ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻨﺎﻥ"
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"ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼل ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻙ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻜﻡ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻨﺯﺍﻋﺎﺕ!" "ﻻ ﺘﻭﺠﺩ ﺃﻱ ﻋﻼﻗﺔ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺨﻼﻓـﺎﺕ ،ﺍﻝﻤﻬـﻡ ﺃﻥ ﻻ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺨﻼﻑ ﺠﺫﺭﻱ ،ﺃﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻬﺎﺘﺭﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﺩﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﺘـﻲ ﺘﻜـﺎﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﻼﻗﺔ ﺸﺒﻪ ﻴﻭﻤﻴﺔ ﻓﻬﻲ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻁﺒﻴﻌﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ،ﻭﺤﺘـﻰ ﻴﺒﺩﺃ ﺍﻝﺯﻭﺠﻴﻥ ﺒﻔﻬﻡ ﺒﻌﻀﻬﻡ ﻭﺭﺩﻭﺩ ﻓﻌﻠﻬﻡ ،ﻭﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﻜل ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﺤﺒﻪ ﻭﻴﻐﻀﺏ ﻤﻨﻪ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ ﻭﺍﻝﻌﻜﺱ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻗﺩ ﺘﻼﺸـﺕ ﺍﻝﺨﻼﻓـﺎﺕ ﺍﻻﻋﺘﻴﺎﺩﻴﺔ ﻭﺘﺒﺨﺭﺕ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻓﺸﻲﺀ ،ﻓﺎﻻﺘﻔﺎﻕ ﻓـﻲ ﻭﺠﻬـﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻨﻅـﺭ ﻭﺍﻻﺘﺠﺎﻫﺎﺕ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻓﻴﻥ ،ﺘﻤﻜﻥ ﻝﻐﺔ ﺍﻝﺤﻭﺍﺭ ﻤﻨﻬﻡ ،ﺍﻝﻤﻭﻀﻭﻋﻴﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺇﻨﻬﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺨﻼﻑ ﺇﻥ ﺼﺢ ﺍﻝﺘﻌﺒﻴﺭ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻻﻝﺘﻘـﺎﺀ ﺒـﺎﻝﺨﻁﻭﻁ ﺍﻝﻌﺭﻴـﻀﺔ ﻭﺍﻝﻌﻤﻕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﻼﻗﺔ ﻫﻲ ﺭﻜﻥ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﻭﻋﺎﻤﻭﺩﻩ. ﻓﻲ ﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺯﻭﺠﻴﺔ ﻜﺎﻥ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ ﻏﻴﻭﺭﺍ ﺠﺩﺍ ،ﻓﻌﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﺍﻝﺭﺠﺎل ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﻨﺔ ﻤﻌﻲ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺘﻘﺩﻴﻤﻲ ﻁﻠﺒﺎﺘﻬﻡ ،ﻴﻘﻁﺏ ﺤﺎﺠﺒﻴﻪ ﻭﻴﺴﺄل ﺒﺤﺩﺓ" :ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻗﺎل ﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺭﺠل؟" ﺃﻀﺤﻙ" ...ﻴﺎ ﺯﻭﺠﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﺯﻴﺯ ﺍﻝﻐﻴﻭﺭ ﻫﺫﺍ ﻫﻭ ﺤـﺎل ﺃﻱ ﺯﺒـﻭﻥ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ ﻋﻨﺩﻨﺎ ،ﻝﻘﺩ ﺴﺄﻝﻨﻲ ﺇﺫﺍ ﻜﻨﺕ ﻤﺘﺯﻭﺠﺔ؟" "ﻭﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻪ؟" "ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻪ" :ﻻ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﺕ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺠﺩ ﺍﻝﺭﺠل ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺎﺴﺏ"... 175
"ﺘﻌﺎل ﻴﺎ ﺯﻭﺠﻲ ﺍﻝﻐﻴﻭﺭ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺤﻀﻨﻙ" ﺃﺭﻯ ﻨﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﻐﻀﺏ ﺒﻌﻴﻨﻴﻪ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺴﺘﻔﺯﻩ ﺒﻤﺯﺍﺤﻲ "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﺘﻭﻗﻊ ﻴـﺎ ﺜﻴﺩﻭﺭ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻪ؟ ﻜﺎﻥ ﺠﻭﺍﺒﻲ ﺒﺴﻬﻭﻝﺔ ،ﺃﻀﻊ ﻴﺩﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻁﺎﻭﻝـﺔ ﻜﻲ ﻴﺭﻯ ﺨﺎﺘﻡ ﺤﺒﻲ ﻭﺯﻭﺠﻲ ﻭﻋﺸﻴﻘﻲ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ ،ﻭﻤﻥ ﺜﻡ ﺃﺸﺭﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﻭﻗﻠﺕ" :ﺫﺍﻙ ﻫﻭ ﺯﻭﺠﻲ" ﻭﻋﻠﻰ ﺴﺒﻴل ﺍﻝﺩﻋﺎﺒﺔ ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻪ" :ﺇﻥ ﺃﺤﺒﺒـﺕ ﺍﻝﺯﻭﺍﺝ ﻤﻨﻲ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻴﻪ ﻝﻴﻘﺩﺱ ﺯﻭﺍﺠﻨـﺎ!" ﻴﻐـﻀﺏ ﻤـﻥ ﻫﺩﻭﺌﻲ ﻭﻴﺜﻭﺭ ،ﻴﺼﺭﺥ ،ﻴﺭﺴﻡ ﺒﻴﺩﻴﻪ ﻝﻭﺤﺔ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻨـل ﺇﻋﺠـﺎﺏ ﺃﺤـﺩ ﻏﻴﺭﻱ ،ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺭﺩﻭﺩ ﻓﻌﻠﻲ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﻀﺤﻜﺎ ،ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻫﻭ ﻓﻲ ﻗﻤﺔ ﺍﻝﻐﻀﺏ، ﻋﻴﻨﺎﻩ ﻤﻥ ﺠﻤﺎﺭ ،ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﻋﺎﻨﻘﻪ ﻭﺃﻗﻭل ﻝﻪ" :ﻴﺎ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ ﺃﻋﻁﻨﻲ ﻗﺒﻠـﺔ ﻜﻲ ﺍﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺇﺘﻤﺎﻡ ﻋﻤﻠﻲ ،ﻷﺠﺩﺩ ﻝﻙ ﻋﻬﺩﻱ ﻭﺃﻗﻭل ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻗﺒﻠﺔ ﺃﻨـﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ "...ﻭﻓﺠﺄﺓ ﻴﺘﺤﻭل ﺼﻭﺘﻪ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﻀﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻨﻐﻤﺎﺕ ﻤﻭﺴﻴﻘﻴﺔ ﻫﺎﺩﺌﺔ ﻭﻴﻘﻭل" :ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﻌﻠﻤﻴﻥ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺃﻏﺎﺭ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺤﺘﻤل ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ" ﺍﻝﻌﺒﺎﺭﺓ ﺫﺍﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﺯﻤﺠﺭ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻗﺒل ﻗﻠﻴل ﻏﺎﻀﺒﺎ ،ﺇﻻ ﺃﻨﻬـﺎ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻜﻠﻬﺎ ﺭﻗﺔ ﻭﻨﻌﻭﻤﺔ ،ﺃﺭﻯ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻏﻴﺭﺓ ﺤﺏ ﻭﺤﺭﺹ ﻻ ﻏﻴﺭﺓ ﺍﺴـﺘﺒﺩﺍﺩ ﻭﺘﻤﻠﻙ ،ﻓﺫﻝﻙ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﻝﺩ ﻴﺒﻘﻰ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻤﻭﺕ ﺃﺼﺤﺎﺒﻪ .ﻨﺤـﻥ ﻨﺭﺍﻫﻡ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼل ﺃﺸﻴﺎﺌﻬﻡ ﻭﻨﻌﻴﺵ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺫﻜﺭﺍﻫﻡ! ﺃﺘﻌﻠﻤﻭﻥ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﻘﻭل ﻝﻲ ﺃﺒﻲ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻴﺭﺍﻨﻲ ﻤﻊ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ؟ ﻫﻭ ﻝﻡ ﻴﺭﺤﺏ ﺒﻪ ﺯﻭﺠﺎ ﻝﻲ ،ﻷﻨﻪ ﺃﻜﺒﺭ ﻤﻨﻲ ﺴﻨﺎ ،ﺭﻏﻡ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻋﺎﺵ ﻁﻔﻼ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ 176
ﻁﻔﻭﻝﺘﻲ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻔﺭﻕ ﺍﻝﺴﻥ ﺒﻴﻨﻨﺎ ،ﻴﻠﻌﺏ ﻤﻌﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﺤﺭ ﻭﻴﺒﻨﻲ ﻝﻲ ﻗﻼﻉ ﻤﻥ ﺭﻤﺎل ،ﻴﺭﺴﻡ ﺃﺤﻼﻤﻨﺎ ﻭﻴﻤﺤﻬﺎ ﻤﻭﺝ ﺍﻝﺒﺤﺭ ﻝﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﻝﻨـﺎ ﺒﻐـﺩ ﻨﻀﻴﺭ ...ﻜﺄﻨﻪ ﻤﻥ ﻋﻤﺭﻱ ...ﻜﺒﺭﺕ ﻭﺼﺭﺕ ﻓـﻲ ﻋﻤـﺭ ﻋﺭﻓـﺕ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ...ﻓﺄﺤﺒﺒﺘﻪ. ﻗﺎل ﻝﻲ ﺃﺒﻲ ﻭﻗﺘﻬﺎ" :ﻁﻔﻠﺘﻲ ﺇﻨﻙ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻤﺭ ﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﺕ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻌﺭﻓﻲ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﺇﻻ ﺯﺨﺎﺭﻓﻪ ،ﻨﻌﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ ﺃﻨﻨﺎ ﻨﺤﺏ ﺸﺨﺹ ﻤﺎ ،ﻭﻫـﺫﺍ ﺴـﻬل ﺍﻝﺘﺨﻠﺹ ﻤﻨﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ،ﻓﻬﻭ ﻤﺜل ﺃﻥ ﻨﺤﺘﻔل ﺍﻝﻠﻴل ﻜﻠﻪ ﻭﺃﺨﺭ ﺴـﺎﻋﺔ ﻤﻨﻪ ﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺍﺵ ﻭﻨﺤﻥ ﻨﻌﻲ ﺃﻨﻨﺎ ﺴﻨﻨﻬﺽ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻭﻡ، ﻨﺨﻠﺩ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻓﺭﺍﺸﻨﺎ ﻭﻨﻘﻭل :ﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻭﻡ ﺃﻓﻀل ﻤﻥ ﻻ ﺸﻲﺀ ،ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺍﻷﻗل ﻨﺄﺨﺫ ﻗﺴﻁﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﺍﺤﺔ ،ﻭﻴﻘﺭﻉ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺒﻪ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻻ ﻨﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺇﺴﻜﺎﺘﻪ ﻷﻥ ﺃﻤﻲ ﻤﻨﻌﺘﻨﺎ ﺍﻻﻗﺘﺭﺍﺏ ﻤﻨﻪ... ﻨﻔﻴﻕ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻭﻡ ﻭﻨﻨﻬﺽ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻝﺴﻜﺎﺭﻯ ﻤﻥ ﻓﺭﺍﺸﻨﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﻌﻴﻭﻥ ﻤﻐﻠﻘﺔ ﻻ ﺘﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺼﺤﻭﺍ ،ﻴﺒﻘﻰ ﻓﻴﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺤﺎل ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻨﺠﺒﺭ ﺃﻨﻔﺴﻨﺎ ﻝﻠﺨﺭﻭﺝ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻋﻤﺎﻝﻨﺎ ﺃﻭ ﻤﺩﺍﺭﺴﻨﺎ ،ﻭﺃﻭل ﻤﺎ ﻨﺩﺨل ﺍﻝﺼﺨﺏ ﻭﺍﺯﺩﺤﺎﻡ ﺍﻝﻨـﺎﺱ ﺒﺎﻝﻁﺭﻗﺎﺕ ﺘﻔﺘﺢ ﺍﻷﻋﻴﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺘﻠﻘﺎﺀ ﻨﻔﺴﻬﺎ ،ﻨﺭﻯ ﺍﻝﺤﺭﻜﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺤﻭﻝﻨﺎ ،ﻤﻥ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻨﺎ ،ﺨﻠﻔﻨﺎ ﻭﺤﻭﻻ ﻤﻨﺎ. ﻫﺫﺍ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﻌﻴﺸﻪ ﻴﺎ ﺍﺒﻨﺘﻲ ،ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻨﺭﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﺨﻼﺹ ﺴﻨﻌﻴﺵ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻹﺤﺴﺎﺱ ،ﺤﺭﻗﺔ ﺍﻝﻌﻴﻨﻴﻥ ﻤﻥ ﻗﻠﺔ ﺍﻝﻨﻭﻡ ،ﺼﺩﺍﻉ ﺸﺩﻴﺩ ،ﺇﺭﻫـﺎﻕ 177
ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﺴﺩ ،ﺍﺭﺘﺨﺎﺀ ﺍﻷﻋﺼﺎﺏ ﻭﻋﺩﻡ ﻗﺩﺭﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﺭﺍﻙ ،ﻭﻫﺫﺍ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺍﻷﻭل ﻭﻻ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻗﺼﻴﺭ ...ﺒﻌﺩﻫﺎ ﻴﺒﺩﺃ ﻴﻭﻡ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ ﻭﻨﻬﺎﺭ ﻭﻜـﺄﻥ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ" "ﺃﻭﻝﻡ ﻴﻘﺩﺱ ﺯﻭﺍﺠﻜﻤﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﺩﻙ؟" ﺴﺄﻝﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. "ﺒﻠﻰ ،ﻜﺎﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﻓﻲ ﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ﺍﻷﻤﺭ ،ﻓﻬﻭ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻌﺭﻑ ﺃﻥ ﺤﺒﻲ ﻝﺜﻴـﻭﺩﻭﺭ ﺃﺯﻝﻲ ،ﺍﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﻋﻼﻗﺔ ﻋﺎﺒﺭﺓ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻬﺎﺌﻤﺔ ،ﺃﻗﻨﻌﺕ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻜـﻲ ﺃﻋﻴﺵ ﻗﺼﺔ ﺤﺏ ﻭﺴﺘﻨﺘﻬﻲ ﺒﺎﻨﺘﻬﺎﺀ ﻤﺭﺍﻫﻘﺘﻲ ،ﻝﻡ ﻴﻌﻠﻡ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺭﺍﻫﻘـﺕ ﺤﺏ ﻭﺘﻌﻠﻤﺕ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻁﻔﻠﺔ ،ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺼﺭﺕ ﻓﺘﺎﺓ ﻨﻀﺞ ﺤﺒﻲ ﻭﻜﺒـﺭ، ﺍﺨﻀﺭﺕ ﺃﻭﺭﺍﻗﻪ ﻭﺃﺜﻤﺭﺕ ﺃﺸﺠﺎﺭﻩ ،ﻤﺎﺯﺍل ﻴﻜﺒﺭ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻋﺭﻓﺕ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﻤﻌﻨﻰ ﻭﺍﻝﻌﺒﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﻝﺒﺴﻤﺔ ﻭﻜل ﺨﻁﻰ ﺍﻝﻨﺠﺎﺡ ﻓﻲ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ... ﺃﻤﺎ ﺇﺫﺍ ﻗﻠﻨﺎ ﻝﻸﺒﺩ ﻓﻬﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺒﺎﻝﻐﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻋﺭﻓﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ،ﺭﻏـﻡ ﻋﻅـﻡ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻜﻥ ﺒﻴﻨﻨﺎ ﻭﻓﻴﻨﺎ ﻓﺈﻨﻨﺎ ﻻ ﻨﻌﺭﻑ ﺸﻜل ﺍﻝﺤﻘﻴﺒﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺴـﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﻐﺩ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻝﻨﺎ ،ﻭﺭﻏﻡ ﻗﻨﺎﻋﺘﻲ ﺇﻻ ﺃﻨﻨﻲ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﺃﻗﻭل ﻝﻸﺒﺩ ...ﻭﻝﻸﺒﺩ، ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺩﺱ ﻓﻲ ﻗﻠﻭﺒﻨﺎ ،ﻨﺒﺎﻝﻎ ﻭﻨﺘﻤﺎﺩﻯ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﻴـﺎﺓ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺤـﺩ ﻴﻌﻴﺏ ﻋﻠﻴﻨﺎ ،ﺫﺍﻙ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﺍﻝﻤﻤﺘﻊ ،ﺍﻝﺭﺍﻗﻲ ،ﺍﻝﻁﻠﻴﻕ ،ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺤﺭﺭ ﻭﺍﻝﺠﻤﻴل ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ،ﻓﻤﻥ ﻋﺎﺸﻪ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺤﻠﻕ ﺤﻴﺙ ﻻ ﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﻭﺃﺨﺫ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻴـﺎﻻﺕ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻭﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻭﺒﺭﺍﺀﺓ ﺍﻷﻁﻔﺎل ﻭﻋﻅﻡ ﺍﻷﺴﻁﻭﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﻝﺴﺎﺒﻘﻴﻥ"
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ﺩﻫﺸﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻭﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﺍﻝﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻤﻥ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻤـﺸﺎﻋﺭ ﺍﻝﺘـﻲ ﺘﻘﻭﻝﻬـﺎ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﻭﺘﺼﻭﺭﻫﺎ ﻝﻨﺎ ﻨﺤﻥ ﻨﻌﻴﺸﻬﺎ! ﺍﻁﻠﻌﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﻋﺎﺸـﺕ ﻤﻌﻨﺎ!" "ﻜﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﻋﺎﺸﺕ ﻤﻌﻨﺎ! ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺇﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻜﻴﺎﻥ ...ﻁﻴﻑﹲ ،ﻀـلٌ... ﺸﺨﺹ ﺒﻌﺩﺓ ﻭﺠﻭﻩ ،ﻴﻌﺭﻑ ﺍﻷﻤﺎﻜﻥ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺍﻝﺒﻘﺎﻉ ،ﻴﺘﺤـﺩﺙ ﻜـل ﺍﻝﻠﻐﺎﺕ ،ﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻤﺭﺓ ﺒﻬﻴﺌﺔ ﻭﻁﺭﻴﻘﺔ ﻤﺨﺘﻠﻔﺔ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻷﺨﺭﻯ ،ﻤﺘﻠﻭﻥ ﻤﺘﻌﺩﺩ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻕ ﻭﺍﻷﺴﺎﻝﻴﺏ ،ﻴﻘﺩﻡ ﻨﻔﺴﻪ ﺠﻨﺎ ﻭﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻤﻼﺌﻜـﻲ ،ﻴـﺄﺘﻲ ﻤﺘﺴﻠﻼ ﺃﻭ ﻤﺨﺘﻔﻲ ،ﺃﻭ ﺒﻭﺠﻪ ﻭﺍﻀﺢ ﻭﺼﺭﻴﺢ ،ﻗﺩ ﻨﺨﻁﺌﻪ ﺃﻭ ﻨﺘﺘﺠﺎﻫﻠﻪ ﺃﻭ ﻨﻘﻠل ﻤﻥ ﻗﻴﻤﺘﻪ ﺃﻭ ﻨﻀﻌﻑ ﻤﻥ ﻗﺩﺭﻩ ﺭﻏـﻡ ﺴـﻁﻭﺘﻪ ،ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨـﺎ... ﻭﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺓ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﺜل ﺴﺭﺍﺏ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺀ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝـﺼﺤﺭﺍﺀ ﻓـﻲ ﺭﺍﺒﻌـﺔ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﺭ ،ﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﺴﺭﻨﺎ ﻨﺤﻭﻩ ﺫﻫﺏ ﻋﻨﺎ ﻭﺘﻐﺭﺏ ﻭﺯﺍﺩ ﻋﻁﺸﻨﺎ ،ﻗﺩ ﻨﻌﺭﻓﻪ ﺃﻭ ﻨﻌﺘﻘﺩ ﺃ ﹼﻨﺎ ﻋﺭﻓﻨﺎﻩ ،ﻨﺴﻴﺭ ﻤﻌﻪ ﻨﺘﻌﻠﻕ ﺒﺄﺫﻴﺎﻝﻪ ﻭﻨﺭﻤﻲ ﺒﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﺒﻌﺩﻩ ﻤﻥ ﻭﺭﺍﺀ ﻅﻬﻭﺭﻨﺎ ،ﻫﻭ ﻝﻡ ﻴﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻥ ﺃﺤ ﺩ ﻭﻝﻡ ﻴﻨﺘﻅﺭ ،ﻴﻤﻀﻲ ﻭﻴﺄﺨﺫ ﻜل ﻤﻥ ﻴﻤﺴﻙ ﺒﺸﺒﺎﻜﻪ ،ﻭﻻ ﻴﺤﻤل ﺇﻻ ﺍﻷﺸﺩﺍﺀ ﺍﻷﻗﻭﻴﺎﺀ ،ﻝﻘﺩ ﻋﺭﻓﻨـﺎ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺫﺍﻙ ﺴﺭﺍﺏ ﻭﻻ ﻤﺎﺀ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ،ﺨﺩﻋﻨﺎ ﺃﻨﻔﺴﻨﺎ ﻷﻥ ﺍﻝﺒـﺩﻴل ﻤﻔﻘـﻭﺩ ﻓﺴﻘﻁﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺸﺒﺎﻙ ﺍﻝﻘﻁﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﻤـﺴﺭﻉ ﺍﻝـﺫﻱ ﻻ ﻴﺘـﻭﺍﻨﻰ ﻭﻻ ﻴﻌﻁـﻲ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺹ ...ﻜﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻀﻌﻔﺎﺀ"
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ﻋﻠﻘﺕ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻜﻼﻤﻲ ﻭﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﺩﻋﻨﻲ ﺃﻗـﻭل ﻝـﻙ ﻜﻴـﻑ ﻴﻀﻌﻑ ﺍﻷﻗﻭﻴﺎﺀ ﺒﺎﺨﺘﻴﺎﺭﻫﻡ! ﻓﻠﻨﻘل ﺃﻨﻪ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺸﺨﺹ ﺍﻝﻘﻭﻱ ﻭﻗﺩ ﻋﺭﻓﺕ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﺕ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺘﻭﺭﻁ ﺒﺤﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﻌﺘﻘﺩ ﺒﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺘﺨﻠﺹ ﻝﻙ ﻴﻭﻡ ،ﻝﻌﻠﻤﻙ ﺒﻘﺼﺹ ﺨﻴﺎﻨﺎﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻜﺜﻴﺭﺓ ﻤﻊ ﻤﻥ ﺘﺤﺒﻬﻡ ﺃﻭ ﺘﺯﻋﻡ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﺤﺒﻬﻡ ،ﻫﻲ ﻻ ﺘﻌﻠﻡ ﺒﺎﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﺍﻝﺩﻓﻴﻥ ﻋﻨﺩﻙ ﻝﻬﺎ ،ﺠﻠﺴﺕ ﻭﺤﺩﻙ ﻴﻭﻤـﺎ ﻭﻗﺭﺭﺕ ﺒﻔﻀﻭﻝﻙ ﻭﻨﺸﻭﺓ ﺘﺤﺴﻬﺎ ﺘﺠﺎﻫﻬﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻥ ﺃﻱ ﻭﺴـﻴﻠﺔ ﻜﻲ ﺘﺼل ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻭﻝﻘﻠﺒﻬﺎ... ﺸﺎﺀﺕ ﺍﻷﻗﺩﺍﺭ ﻭﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺒﻜﺎﻤل ﺍﺨﺘﻴﺎﺭﻙ ،ﻭﺒﺘﻔﻜﻴﺭ ﻤﺴﺒﻕ ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﻌﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻨﻙ ﻝﻥ ﺘﺤﺒﻬﺎ ،ﻻ ﺒل ﺘﺭﻴﺩ ﻓﻬﻡ ﺸﺨﺼﻬﺎ ﻓﺤﺴﺏ... ﺘﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﻴﺘﺴﻨﻰ ﻝﻙ ﻓﻬﻤﻬﺎ ،ﺘﺠﺎﻝﺴﻬﺎ ﺘﺯﻭﺭﻫﺎ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﻴـﻭﻡ ﻤﺭﺘﻴﻥ ﻭﺜﻼﺙ ،ﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﺼﺤﺒﻙ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ﻭﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺃﻫﻠﻙ ﻭﻓﻲ ﻋﻤﻠـﻙ ﻭﺭﻭﺤﻙ ﺘﺴﺎﻓﺭ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺘﺴﻤﻊ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﺃﻭل ﻜﻠﻤﺔ ﺤﺏ ﻭﺘﻔﺭﺡ ﺒﻬﺎ ،ﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﻨﻔﺴﻙ ﻭﺘﻘﻭل ﺒﺄﻥ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﻋﻴﺸﻪ ﻭﻫﻡ! ﻜﺫﺒﺔ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ،ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻴﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺴﻤﻌﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻋﺸﺭﻴﻥ ﻤﺭﺓ ،ﺭﻏﻡ ﺃﻥ ﻋﻘﻠـﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺤﻜﻡ ﻗﺎل ﻝﻲ ﻜﺫﺒﺔ ،ﻗﺎﻝﻬﺎ ﺒﺼﻭﺕ ﺨﺎﻓﺕ ﺠﺩﺍ ،ﺇﻻ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺃﺴﻤﻌﻪ ...ﻝﻭ ﺃﺭﺩﺕ ...ﻫﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ،ﺤﺏ ﺼﻌﺏ ﻝـﻥ ﺘﺤـﺱ ﺒـﻪ ﺇﻻ ﺒﻤﺭﺍﺭﺘـﻪ، ﻭﺤﺭﻗﺘﻪ ،ﺃﻗﻨﻌﺕ ﻨﻔﺴﻙ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺼﻌﻭﺩ ﺍﻝﺠﺒـﺎل ﺴـﻬﻼ ،ﻝﻘـﺩ ﺍﺭﺘﻘﻴﺘـﻪ ﺒﺎﺨﺘﻴﺎﺭﻙ ،ﻭﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﺍﻝﻌﻭﺩﺓ ﻝﻴﺱ ﺒﺎﻝﺴﻬﻭﻝﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺘﺼﻭﺭ" 180
"ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻜﻭﻥ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺸﺨﺹ ،ﻓﻤﺠـﺭﺩ ﺘـﺼﻭﺭﻱ ﻝﺘﻠـﻙ ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻴﺘﻤﻠﻜﻨﻲ ﺍﻹﺤﺒﺎﻁ" ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻤﺘﺴﺎﺌﻠﺔ" :ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ،ﻫﺫﺍ ﻭﻷﻨﻲ ﻻ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺍﻝﻌـﻴﺵ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻨﺤﻭ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﻭﻝﻥ ﺃﺼل ﻝﻬﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺤﻠﺔ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﻏﺎﻤﺭ ﺒﺤﺒﻲ ﻭﻻ ﺃﻗﺎﻤﺭ ﺒﻪ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﻀﻊ ﺒﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻭﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻜﻑ ﻋﻔﺭﻴﺕ ﺃﻭ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺒﺴﺎﻁ ﺭﻴﺢ ،ﻓﻸﺒﻘﻰ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻭﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻷﺸـﺠﺎﺭ ﻭﻓـﻲ ﺃﺤـﻀﺎﻥ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ ،ﻭﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﻏﻴﺭﻩ" ﺠﺎل ﺴﺅﺍل ﻓﻲ ﺨﺎﻁﺭﻱ ،ﻝﻜﻨﻲ ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻝﻴﺱ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻤﻁﺭﺤﻪ ،ﻗـﺩ ﻴﻔﺘﺢ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﺒﺎﺏ ﺃﻵﻡ ﻫﻲ ﺒﻐﻨﻰ ﻋﻨﻪ ﺃﻭ ﻻ ﺘﺭﻴـﺩ ﺍﻝﺤـﺩﻴﺙ ﻋﻨـﻪ... ﻁﺒﻌﻲ ﻏﻠﺏ ﺘﻁﺒﻌﻲ ﻭﻗﺭﺭﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺴﺄﻝﻬﺎ" :ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﻝﻘﺩ ﻓﻜﺭﺕ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﺃﺴﺄﻝﻙ ﻭﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﺃﻥ ﻻ ﺃﻜﻭﻥ ﻗﺩ ﺴﻤﺤﺕ ﻝﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﺍﻝﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﺃﻭ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺘﺠﺎﻭﺯﺕ ﺤﺩﻭﺩﻱ ﻤﻌﻙ! ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﻷﻤﺭ ﺨﺎﺹ ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﻻ ﺘﺤﺒﺫﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺨﻭﺽ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﺘﻔﻬﻡ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺠﻴﺩﺍ ﻭﺃﻋﺘﺫﺭ ﻗﺒل ﻁﺭﺤﻪ" "ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻜل ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺭﺓ؟ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺴﺘﺴﺄﻝﻪ؟ ﺍﺴﺄل ﻴﺎ ﻋﺯﻴﺯﻱ ﻓﻠﻴﺱ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺸﻲﺀ ﺃﺤﺯﻥ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻤﻀﻰ" ﻗﺎﻝـﺕ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ. ﻭﺭﺍﻭﺩﻨﻲ ﺸﻌﻭﺭ ﺃﻓﻀل ﺒﺭﺩﺓ ﻓﻌﻠﻬﺎ ﺍﻻﻴﺠﺎﺒﻴﺔ. 181
"ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﺒﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺘﻌﻴﺸﻴﻥ ﻭﺤﺩﻙ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺭﺤﻴل ﺯﻭﺠﻙ ﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﺒﻘﻴﻙ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻫﻨﺎ ﺇﺫﺍ؟ ﻭﺍﻝﻤﻌﺫﺭﺓ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺴﺒﺏ ﻝﻙ ﺴﺅﺍﻝﻲ ﺇﺤﺭﺍﺠﺎ ﺃﻭ ﺃﻝﻤﺎ!" "ﻻ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ،ﺴﺅﺍل ﻗﺩ ﻁﺭﺤﺘﻪ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻤﺭﺍﺕ ﻋﺩﻴﺩﺓ ،ﻭﻓﻲ ﻜـل ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﻭﺍﺠﻪ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﺒﻪ ،ﺃﺠﺩ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻗﺩ ﻫﺭﺒﺕ ﺒﺄﻓﻜﺎﺭﻱ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺒﻌﻴﺩﺓ ﻜل ﺍﻝﺒﻌﺩ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻭﺍﻗﻌﻴﺔ ،ﻭﺃﺴﺄﻝﻬﺎ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ :ﺃﻫل ﻫﻭ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤـﻥ ﻴﻬﺭﺏ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻹﺠﺎﺒﺔ؟ ﺃﻡ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺃﺴﺄﻝﻬﺎ ﻷﻗﻨﻊ ﺫﺍﺘﻲ ﺒﺄﻨﻲ ﻻ ﺃﻫـﺭﺏ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﻭﺍﻗﻊ! ﺍﻝﺤﻘﻴﻘﺔ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﻭﺽ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻔﻜﻴﺭ ﻤﻊ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﺒﻬﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﻀﻭﻉ ﻻ ﺃﺘﺤﻤل ﻓﺄﺒﻜﻲ ،ﻭﻻ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺍﺘﺨﺎﺫ ﺃﻱ ﻗﺭﺍﺭ ﻻ ﺘﺭﻀﻰ ﻋﻨﻪ ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﻱ ،ﺫﻜﺭﻴﺎﺘﻲ ،ﺭﻭﺤﻲ ﻭﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻤﻭﺠﻭﺩ ﻓﻲ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ، ﻓﻬﻲ ﺘﻤﺤﻭﺭ ﻭﺠﻭﺩﻩ ﻭﺘﺠﺴﺩﻩ... ﻗﺩ ﻨﺴﻌﺩ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﻴﺵ ﺒﻴﻥ ﻁﻴﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ ﻭﺘﺒﺘﺴﻡ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺩﻨﻴﺎ ﻭﺘﺭﺴـﻡ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﺠﻭﻫﻨﺎ ﻋﺒﻕ ﻤﻥ ﻭﺭﻭﺩ ﺤﺩﻴﻘﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﻤﻥ ﻀﺤﻜﺎﺘﻪ ﻭﺃﻴﺎﻤﻪ ،ﻭﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ ﻨﻌﺭﺽ ﺸﺭﻴﻁ ﺫﻜﺭﻴﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﺒﺜﻭﺍﻨﻲ ﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻨﺎ ﻓﻨﺒﻜﻲ ...ﻝﻜﻡ ﻫﻲ ﺍﻷﻗﺩﺍﺭ ﺤﻜﻴﻤﺔ ،ﺘﻔﺭﺤﻨﺎ ﻭﺘﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻋﻨـﺎﻥ ﺍﻝـﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻭﻻ ﺘﺨﻔـﻰ ﻨـﺸﻭﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﺴﻌﺎﺩﺘﻨﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﻥ ﺤﻭﻝﻨﺎ ...ﻭﺘﺒﻜﻴﻨﺎ ،ﺘﻜـﺴﺭ ﺨﻭﺍﻁﺭﻨـﺎ ،ﺘﻌـﺼﻑ ﺒﺂﻤﺎﻝﻨﺎ ،ﻁﻤﻭﺤﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﺘﺤﻭل ﺘﻁﻠﻌﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﻝﻜﻭﻤﺔ ﻤﻥ ﻫﺸﺎﺵ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺭﺤﺔ ﻨﻌﻴﺵ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺁﺜﺎﺭﻫﺎ ...ﻨﻬﺭﺏ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻷﻗﺩﺍﺭ ﻭﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ ،ﻨﺒﺤـﺙ ﻋـﻥ ﻭﺍﻗـﻊ ﻴﻘﺭﺒﻨﺎ ،ﻴﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻏﺩ ﺯﺍﻫﺭ ﺃﺠﻤل ﻭﺃﻓﻀل ،ﻴﺨﺭﺠﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻤﺘﺎﻫـﺎﺕ 182
ﺍﻷﻤﺱ ﻭﺸﺭﻭﺩﻩ ﻭﺘﺸﺘﺕ ﺃﻓﻜﺎﺭﻩ ﻭﻀﻴﺎﻋﻪ ﻓﻲ ﻨﻔﺴﻪ ﻭﺒـﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺯﻗـﺎﻕ. ﺃﺠﻠﺱ ﻤﻌﻜﻡ ،ﺃﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﺇﻝﻴﻜﻡ ،ﻭﺍﻨﻅﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻜﻡ ،ﺘﻌﺘﻘﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺠـﺴﺩﺍ ﻭﺭﻭﺤﺎ ﻤﻌﻜﻡ... ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ ﺜﻭﺒﺎ ﺠﻤﻴﻼ ﻜﻲ ﻻ ﺃﺭﺘﺩﻴﻪ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨـﺭﻯ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻴﺯﻴﺩ ﻭﺯﻨﻲ ،ﻭﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﻓﻲ ﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻷﺤﻴﺎﻥ ﺒﺄﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ ﺸﻌﺭﻱ ﻭﺍﺩﻋﻭﺍ ﺭﺒﻲ ﺒﺄﻥ ﻴﺒﻘﻪ ﻁﻭﻴﻼ ﻭﺠﻤـﻴﻼ ،ﻓـﻨﺤﻥ ﻭﺇﻥ ﻤـﺎﺕ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭ ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ﻵﻻﻤﻲ ...ﺤﺯﻥ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻌﺭﻓﻭﻩ ﻭﺤﺭﻗـﺔ ﻤﺎﺯﺍﻝﺕ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺨﻠﻕ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺃﺩﻤﻌﻜﻡ .ﻨﺤﺱ ﺒﺎﻷﻝﻡ ﺃﻜﺜـﺭ ﻋﻨـﺩﻤﺎ ﻨﻌـﺭﻑ ﺃﺴﺒﺎﺒﻪ ،ﻭﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻤﺭﺓ ﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﺒﺈﺭﺍﺩﺓ ﻤﻁﻠﻘﺔ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻜل ﺃﺴﺒﺎﺏ ﺃﺤﺯﺍﻨﻨﺎ. ﻗﺩ ﻨﻤﻭﺕ ﻭﺍﻝﺤﻴﺭﺓ ﻋﺎﻝﻘﺔ ﺒﺎﻝﺭﻭﺡ ،ﻓﺨﺭﻭﺠﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺠﺴﺩ ﻻ ﻴﻌﻨـﻲ ﺨﻼﺼﻬﺎ ،ﻫﻲ ﺘﺴﺒﺢ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻠﻜﻭﺕ ﺍﻝﺭﺏ ،ﺘﻨﺘﻅﺭ ﺠﺴﺩ ﺠﺩﻴﺩﺍ ﻝﺘـﺴﻜﻨﻪ، ﺘﺘﻭﺍﺼل ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﻷﻝﻡ ﻭﻗﺩ ﻴﺄﺘﻴﻨﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺸﺎﻜﻠﺔ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻭﻭﺠﻪ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ" "ﺃﺤﺱ ﻴﺎ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﺒﺄﻨﻲ ﺃﺨﺫﺘﻙ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻵﻤﻙ!" "ﻗﺩ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺴﻴﻌﻴﺩﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻭﺍﻗﻌﻴﺔ ﻭﺍﻝﺼﺭﺍﺤﺔ ﻤﻊ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ، ﻓﻘﺩ ﻭﺍﺠﻬﺘﻨﻲ ﺒﺸﻲﺀ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻭﺍﺠﻪ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻓﻴﻪ ،ﻤﺜل ﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﻴﻌﻤل ﻋﻤﻠﻴﺎﺕ ﺠﺭﺍﺤﻴﺔ ﻝﻜل ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﻌﻠﻴل ﻭﻋﻠـﻰ ﺸـﻔﺎ ﺤﻔﺭﺓ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﺕ ﻴﻌﺠﺯ ﻋﻥ ﻤﺴﺎﻋﺩﺓ ﻨﻔﺴﻪ .ﺘﺅﻝﻤﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﺍﺠﻬﺔ ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ 183
ﻭﻝﻜﻨﻬﺎ ﺴﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻴﺠﺎﺒﻴﺔ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺴﻠﺒﻴﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺒﺴﺅﺍﻝﻙ ﺃﻋﺩﺘﻨﻲ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ ﻭﻁﺭﺤﺕ ﺃﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﺃﻫﺭﺏ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ،ﺤﻤﻠﺘﻨﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻏﻴﺭ ﻨﻴﺔ ﻤﻨـﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻏﻴﺭ ﻤﺤﻤﻠﻲ .ﺃﻨﺎ ﺼﺎﺤﺒﺔ ﺍﻝﺤﻘﻴﻘﺔ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺭﺍﺩﺕ ﺇﺨﻔﺎﺌﻬﺎ ﻁﻭل ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ،ﺤﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﻷﻗﻑ ﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﻁﻴﻙ ﺍﻝﺠﻭﺍﺏ، ﺃﻭﺍﺠﻬﻬﺎ ﺒﺎﻝﺤﻘﻴﻘﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﻋﻴﺸﻬﺎ ،ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﺤـﺴﻡ ﺍﻷﻤـﺭ ...ﺍﻝﺠـﻭﺍﺏ ﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻨﻬﺎﺌﻲ ،ﺇﻥ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻓﻬﻭ ﺍﻝﻐﺩ ،ﻭﺴﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻗـﻀﻴﺔ ﻭﻗﺘﻴـﺔ ﺒﺎﻝﻨﺴﺒﺔ ﻝﻲ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺨﺴﺭ ﻤﻥ ﻋﻤﺭﻱ ،ﻓﻠﻡ ﻴﻌﺩ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻌﻤﺭ ﺒﻘﻴـﺔ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺁﺨﺫ ﻤﺘﺴﻊ ﻤﻨﻪ ،ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﺼل ﺇﻝﻰ ﻨﻘﻁﺔ ﻭﺃﻀـﻊ ﺨـﻁ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﻴـﺔ ﻝﻤﻌﺎﻨﺎﺘﻲ" "ﻀﻤﻴﺭﻱ ﺼﺎﺭ ﻴﺅﻨﺒﻨﻲ ،ﺭﻏﻡ ﺘﺒﺭﻴﺭﻴﻙ ﻋﻥ ﺫﻨﺏ ﺍﺭﺘﻜﺒﺘـﻪ ﻤـﻥ ﺴﺅﺍل ،ﻭﺇﻥ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺫﻨﺒﺎ ﻓﻬﻭ ﻝﻴﺱ ﺒﻤﻜﺎﻨﻪ ﻭﻻ ﻓﻀﻴﻠﺔ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺨﺠلٌ ﻤﻨﻙ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ﻭﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻏﻴﺭﻱ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺨﺎﺽ ﻤﻌـﻙ ﺒﺄﻋﻤـﺎﻕ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ ﻭﺃﻭﺠﺎﻋﻙ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﺼﺩﻴﻘﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻤﻪ ﺃﻭ ﺃﺒﺎﻩ ﺃﻭ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻪ ﻤﺎﺘﺕ ،ﺼﻌﺏ ﻋﻠﻲ ﺤﻤل ﻤﺜل ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻷﻨﺒﺎﺀ ﻭﻤﺄﺠﻭﺭ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﻴﺜﻘل ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ﺤﻤﻠﻪ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻜﻭﻥ ﺭﺴﻭل ﺍﻝﺸﺅﻡ ﺃﻭ ﻨﺎﻗﻠﻪ، ﻝﻘﺩ ﻭﻀﻌﺕ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﻀﻊ ﻭﻻ ﺃﻤﻠﻙ ﺇﻻ ﻜﻠﻤﺔ ﺍﻋﺘﺫﺍﺭ ﻓﻴﻬـﺎ ﺘﻤﻨﻴﺎﺕ ﺨﺎﻝﺼﺔ ﻝﻙ ﺒﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ﺴﻌﻴﺩﺓ ...ﻭﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ﺘﻨﺘﻅﺭ ﺨﻠﻑ ﻗﻠﻭﺒﻨﺎ.
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ﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﻤﻥ ﺍﷲ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻴﺴﺭ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺍﻷﺴﺒﺎﺏ ﻝﻨﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﺼﺤﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﻘﺭﺍﺭ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻭﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﺴﺒﺎﺏ ﺴﻌﺎﺩﺘﻨﺎ ،ﻭﻝﻜل ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ﻤﻥ ﺤﻭﻝﻨـﺎ ،ﻭﻝـﺩﻨﺎ، ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻨﺤﺒﻬﺎ ﺃﻭ ﺤﻠﻤﻨﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺠﻤﻌﻨﺎ ﺒﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ...ﺃﻭ ﺘﻤﻨﻴﻨﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜـﻭﻥ ﻨﻬﺎﻴﺘﻨﺎ ﻗﺒﻠﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻭ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻋﺼﻔﻭﺭ ﺍﻋﺘﺩﻨﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺘﻐﺭﻴﺩﻩ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺼﺒﺎﺡ"
"ﺃﻨﺸﺭﺏ ﻗﻬﻭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺴﻭﻴﺎ؟ ﺃﺤﺏ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺤﺘﺴﻲ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻤﻌﻜﻤـﺎ ﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﻜﻤﺎ؟" ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ. "ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ،ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ؟" ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. "ﻨﻌﻡ ﺴﺄﺸﺭﺏ ﺁﺨﺭﺍ ﻤﻌﻜﻤﺎ" ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﻜﻲ ﺘﻁﻬﻲ ﺍﻝﻘﻬﻭﺓ ،ﻭﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﺃﻨـﺎ ﺒﺄﻓﻜـﺎﺭﻱ ﻤﻌﻬـﺎ ﻭﻗﺼﺘﻬﺎ ﺼﺩﻯ ﻴﺩﻭﻱ ﻓﻲ ﺭﺃﺴﻲ ،ﺩﺨﻠﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﺒﺦ. "ﺃﺤﺱ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺒﺸﻔﻘﺔ ﺘﺠﺎﻩ ﺍﻝﺴﻴﺩﺓ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ،ﻓﻌﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺘﻴﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻴﻬـﺎ ﻜـﺎﻥ ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻬﺎ ﺸﻴﻘﺎ ﻤﻤﺘﻌﺎ ﻭﺍﻵﻥ ﻋﻼ ﺼﻭﺘﻬﺎ ﻨﺒﺭﺍﺕ ﺤﺯﻴﻨﺔ ،ﺃﻭ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭﺓ ﺍﻷﻭﻝﻰ ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ ﻗﺩ ﻻ ﺘﻜﻔﻲ ﻝﻜﺸﻑ ﺍﻝﺤﻘﺎﺌﻕ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺒﻠـﻭﺭ ﺸﺨـﺼﻴﺘﻨﺎ! ﻭﻨﺎﺩﺭ ﺠﺩﺍ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺘﺴﻨﻰ ﻝﻨﺎ ﻤﻌﺭﻓﺔ ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺼﺒﻭ ﺃﻨﻔﺴﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻭ ﺍﻨﺘﻬﺎﺯ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺼﺔ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻨﻘﺭﺃ ﻤﺎ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺴﻁﻭﺭ ﻭﻨﺘـﺭﻙ ﺍﻝﺤﻴـﺭﺓ ﻋﻠـﻰ 185
ﻗﺎﺭﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﻤﻥ ﻏﻴﺭ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺘﺨﻠل ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﺃﻭ ﺘﺄﺨﺫ ﺭﻜﻥ ﻓـﻲ ﺒﻴﺘﻨـﺎ" ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. "ﺃﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻓﻘﺩ ﻭﺠﺩﺕ ﻜل ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﻤﻨﻴﺘﻪ ،ﺒﺤﺜﺕ ﻋﻨﻪ ،ﺤﻠﻤـﺕ ﺒﻪ ،ﺃﻭ ﻭﺩﺩﺕ ﻤﻌﺭﻓﺘﻪ ،ﻭﻜل ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺒﺤﺎﺠﺔ ﺇﻝﻴﻪ ﻤﻠﻜﺘﻪ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺒﺤﺜﺕ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ﻭﻭﺠﺩﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻬﺎ ﻭﻋﺭﻓﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻝﻜﻡ ﻲ. ﺤﻠﻤﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻨﻲ ﺃﻨﺎ ،ﻝﻲ ،ﻤﻨﻲ ﻭﻤﻌﻲ ،ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺃﻏﻠﻰ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻓ ﺴﺄﺼل ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﺕ ﻝﻭ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺨﺴﺭﺘﻙ ...ﺴـﺄﺤﺒﻁ ﻝـﻭ ﺃﻨـﻙ ﺼﺭﺕ ﻝﻐﻴﺭﻱ ...ﺴﺄﻨﺩﻡ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ﻝﻭ ﻋﻠﻤﺕ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﺨﺩﻋﺔ ...ﺴﺄﻜﺘﺏ ﻝﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ﻝﻭ ﻋﺭﻓﺕ ﺒﺄﻨﻲ ﻭﺍﻫﻡ ﺴﺄﻨﺘﻘﻡ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ...ﻝﻭ ﻋﻠﻤﺕ ﺒﺄﻨﻙ ﻤﺯﻗﺕ ﺭﺴﺎﺌﻠﻲ ...ﺴﺄﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻥ ﻤﺼﺤﺔ ﻨﻔﺴﻴﺔ ﻤﻐﻠﻘﺔ ﻝـﻭ ﺃﻨـﻙ ﺃﺸﻌﻠﺕ ﺃﻭﺭﺍﻗﻲ ﻭﺭﻭﺍﺌﻌﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﻭﻗﻭﺩﺍ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﺀﺍﺕ ﻤﻊ ﻋﺭﻴﺴﻙ ،ﻝﻥ ﺃﻓﻜﺭ ﺒﺎﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﺤﻭﻴﻬﻥ ...ﻻ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﻓﻬﻥ ﺃﻨـﺎ ﻭﺃﺴـﻠﻭﺒﻲ ﻭﻋﻠـﻴﻬﻥ ﻁﺎﺒﻌﻲ ...ﺴﺄﻨﺩﻡ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ﻝﻭ ﺁﻝﺕ ﺭﺴﺎﺌﻠﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺭﻤـﺎﺩ ،ﺃﺤﻼﻤـﻲ ﻭﺃﻤﻨﻴﺎﺘﻲ ﻋﺎﻝﻘﺔ ﺒﻬﻥ ،ﻓﺤﺭﻭﻓﻲ ﺴﻔﻴﺭ ﺭﻭﺤﻲ ﻭﺍﺸـﺘﻴﺎﻗﻲ ﻓـﻲ ﻜـل ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﺀﺍﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ...ﺴﺄﻜﺘﺏ ﻝﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ﻝﻭ ﻋﺭﻓﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺠﻤـل ﻤـﺎ ﺘﻤﻨﻴﺕ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻜﺫﺒﺔ ﻗﺩ ﻝﻤﺤﺘﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺜﻐﺭﻙ ،ﺘﺩﻭﺭ ﺒﺎﺴﻁﺔ ﻅﻠﻬـﺎ ﺤـﻭل ﺸﻔﺘﻴﻙ ،ﻝﻘﺩ ﺭﺃﻴﺕ ﺍﻝﺨﺩﺍﻉ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻴﻥ ﻭﺠﻨﺘﻴﻙ ﻭﺃﻋﺘﺭﻑ ﺒـﺄﻨﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﺒـﺕ ﺍﻝﻜﺫﺏ ﻭﺍﻝﺨﺩﺍﻉ ﻤﻨﻙ ،ﻋﺸﻘﺕ ﻁﻴـﻑ ﺍﻝﻬـﻭﻯ ﻭﺃﻜﺎﺫﻴﺒـﻪ ﻷﻝﻁـﻑ ﻋﻤﺭﻱ ...ﺤﺭﻭﻓﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﺃﻁﻴﺏ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺨﺩﺍﻉ ،ﺃﻨـﺕ ﻴـﺎ 186
ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻭل ﺃﻋﺼﺎﺒﻲ ﻝﺘﻜﺘﺏ ﻝﻙ ﺤﺭﻭﻑ ﺃﺘﻌﺒﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺼـﺭﺨﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺼﻤﺕ ﻤﺩﺍﻤﻌﻲ ...ﻝﻭ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺘﺠﻴﺒﻴﻨﻨﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﻋـﻥ ﻤـﺼﻴﺭ ﺭﺴﺎﺌﻠﻲ! ﺃﻗﺭﺃﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﻭ ﻤﺭﺘﻴﻥ؟ ﺃﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﻘﺭﺍﺀﺓ ﺍﻷﻭﻝﻰ ﻤﻥ ﺸـﻔﺘﻴﻙ ﻭﺍﻝﺜﺎﻨﻴﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺴﻠﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﻬﻤﻼﺕ؟ ﺃﻝﻡ ﻴﺒﻘﻰ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺇﻻ ﻗﺼﺎﺼﺎﺕ ﺘﺸﺎﺠﺭﺕ ﻤﻊ ﻨﻔﺎﻴﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﺠﻴﺭﺍﻥ؟ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺒﻴﺘﻬﻡ ﺒﺎﻷﻤﺱ ﺤﻔل ﺨﻁﺒـﺔ، ﺃﻝﻡ ﺘﺒﻘﻲ ﻝﻲ ﻨﻴﺭﺍﻨﻙ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﺸﻲﺀ؟ ﺤﺼﻴﻠﺔ ﺃﻋﻭﺍﻡ ﺘﻨﺘﻬﻲ ﻓـﻲ ﺩﻗـﺎﺌﻕ ﻭﺩﻭﻥ ﻭﺩﺍﻉ ﺤﺘﻰ! ﺤﺼﻴﻠﺔ ﺍﻝﺴﻨﻴﻥ ﺃﺨـﺫﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝـﺭﻴﺢ ﻓـﻲ ﻝﺤﻅـﺎﺕ ﻭﺍﻝﺘﻬﻤﺕ ﺍﻝﻨﻴﺭﺍﻥ ﻜل ﻤﺯﺍﺭﻋﻲ ...ﻝﻡ ﻴﺒﻘـﻰ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﻔﻼﺤـﻴﻥ ﻏﻴـﺭ ﺭﻤﺎﺩﻫﻡ! ﺴﺭﻗﺕ ﺃﻭﺭﺍﻗﻲ ،ﺤﺒﺭﻫﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺩﻤﻭﻋﻲ ...ﻤـﺎﺫﺍ ﻜﻨـﺕ ﻴـﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﻝﻭﻻ ﺤﺭﻭﻓﻲ؟! ﺜﻐﺭﻙ ﺒﻌﺽ ﻤﻥ ﻝﺒﺎﻗﺔ ﻜﻠﻤـﺎﺘﻲ ،ﻨﻬـﺩﻴﻙ ﺒﻌﺽ ﻤﻥ ﺼﻔﻴﺭ ﺭﻴﺎﺤﻲ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺃﻭﺭﺍﻗﻲ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋـﺩ ﺃﺫﻜـﺭ ﻴـﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﺸﻜل ﺴﻁﻭﺭﻱ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺼﺎﺒﻌﻲ! ﺃﺤﻘﺎ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺃﻨﻙ ﻗﺼـﺼﺕ ﺭﺴﺎﺌﻠﻲ ﻤﺜﻠﺜﺎﺕ ﻭﻤﺭﺒﻌﺎﺕ ﻭﻫﻥ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺎﺘﻲ؟ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﻥ ﺃﺤﻼﻤﻲ ﻭﺠﻤـﺎل ﺃﻋﻴﻨﻬﻥ ﻭﺇﺒﺩﺍﻉ ﺃﺴﺤﺎﺭﻱ ،ﺃﺤﻘﺎ ﺃﻨﻙ ﻗﻠﺘﻲ ﻋﻥ ﺨﺎﻁﺭﻱ ﻤﺭﺁﺓ ﻗﺩﻴﻤـﺔ؟ ﻝﻭ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﻴﺎ ﻜﺎﺫﺒﺔ ﻤﺭﺁﺓ ،ﻝﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺍﻷﺠﻤل ...ﺼـﻘﻠﺕ ﺒﻴـﺩﻱ ﻭﻗﺩﺴـﺘﻬﺎ ﺃﻨﺎﻤﻠﻲ ،ﺼﻤﺘﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﺴﺭ ﺼﻔﺎﺌﻬﺎ ،ﻗﺩ ﺍﻏﺘﻨﻤﺕ ﺃﻴﺎﻤﻲ ﻷﺼﻨﻊ ﺇﻁﺎﺭﻫﺎ ...ﺃﺠﻴﺒﻴﻨﻲ ﻤﺎ ﻫﻭ ﻤﺼﻴﺭ ﺤﺭﻭﻓﻲ ﻭﺃﻭﺭﺍﻗﻲ؟ ﺃﺤﺏ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻠﺅﻡ ﻓﻲ ﻭﺠﻬﻙ ﻭﺯﻭﺭ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺤﺴﻲ ﺒﻪ ،ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺍﻝﺸﻴﻁﺎﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺘﻘﻠـﺏ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻙ ﻴﻁﻔﺊ ﻝﻭﻋﺘﻙ ،ﺤﺒﻙ ،ﺸﻬﻭﺘﻙ ﻭﻨﺸﻭﺘﻙ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻘﺎﺒﻠﺘﻲ ﻭﺘﻘﺒﻴﻠﻲ" 187
"ﺃﺘﻌﻨﻴﻨﻨﻲ؟" "ﻜل ﻫﺫﺍ ﻝﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﻝﻭ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺃﻨﺕ! ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺴﺅﺍل ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺴﻤﺎﻋﻪ ،ﻴﺭﻜﺽ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ،ﺃﻫﺭﺏ ﻤﻨﻪ ،ﻴـﺭﻯ ﺠﺒﻨـﻲ ،ﺘﺨﻨﻘﻨـﻲ ﺃﺼﺩﺍﺌﻪ ﻭﺍﺭﺘﻔﺎﻉ ﺼﻭﺘﻪ" "ﺭﻏﻡ ﺴﺅﺍﻝﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﻭﻜل ﺍﻝﻭﺴﺎﻭﺱ ﻓﻲ ﺤﻨﺎﻴﺎﻙ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ،ﺭﻏﻡ ﻜل ﻤﻁﺎﺭﺩﺓ ﺘﻌﻴﺸﻬﺎ ﻤﻊ ﻨﻔﺴﻙ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ" "ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ﻴﺎ ﻴﺎﻗﻭﺘﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺯﺭﻜﺸﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻭﺭﺍﻕ ﺍﻷﺸـﺠﺎﺭ ﺒﻠـﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺯﻥ ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻻﻨﺤﻨﺎﺀﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻨﻌﺩل ،ﺍﻝﻌﺭﺱ ﺍﻝـﺫﻱ ﺃﺴﻬﺭﻩ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻁﻠﻭﻉ ﺍﻝﻔﺠﺭ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﻴﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﻨﻌﻤﺔ ﻭﺭﺤﻴﻕ ﻭﺇﻁﻼﻝـﺔ ﺍﻝﺭﺒﻴﻊ ،ﺃﻗﻑ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻙ ﻤﺒﻬﻭﺭﺍ ﻴﺘﻠﻔﻌﻨﻲ ﺨﻭﻑﹲ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻐـﺩ ﺍﻝﻘـﺎﺩﻡ ،ﻓﺄﻨـﺎ ﻗﺭﺭﺕ ﺃﻥ ﻻ ﺃﻋﻴﺵ ﻤﺴﺎﺀﺍﺕ ﻗﺩﻴﻤﺔ ...ﺃﺭﻯ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻙ ﻤﺜل ﺤﺒﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻨﺩﻯ ﺘﺘﺴﺎﻗﻁ ﻋﻥ ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻑ ﺃﻭﺭﺍﻕ ﺃﺸﺠﺎﺭﻱ ،ﺨﻭﻓﺎ ﻻ ﻴﺭﺍﻩ ﻏﻴـﺭﻱ ﻤﺜـل ﺸﻼل ﺸﻌﺭﻙ ﺍﻝﺼﺎﺭﺥ ﺍﻝﻬﺎﺩﺭ ،ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘـﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺭﻜـﺽ ﺒـﻴﻥ ﺃﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﻏﺎﺒﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﺤﺩﻱ ،ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺼﺭﺥ ﺒﺤﺏ ﻗﺩ ﻜﺎﻥ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺼﺩﻯ ﺼﻭﺘﻲ ،ﻭﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺒﻘﻰ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻤﻭﺘﻲ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺠﺒﺎل ﻤﺩﻭﻴﺎ ...ﻴﺎ ﺭﺤﻠﺔ ﻻ ﺃﺤﺏ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻨﺘﻬﻲ ،ﻴﺎ ﺩﺭﺒﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺼل ﺒﻪ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻤﻔﺘﺭﻕ ﻁـﺭﻕ، ﺃﻨﺕ ﻴﺎ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺔ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﻝﻤﻤﺎﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺒﻘﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻓﻘﻲ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩﻙ ﻴـﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺸﻴﺌﺎ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﻻ ﻴﻘﺎل ،ﻓﺄﻨﺕ ﺍﻷﻨﻭﺜﺔ ﻝﻭ ﺒﺤﺜﻭﺍ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ﻝﻌـﺩﻝﻭﺍ ﻋـﻥ 188
ﺍﻝﺴﺅﺍل ...ﺃﺴﻜﺘﻲ ﻻ ﺘﺘﻜﻠﻤﻲ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﻝﻤﺴﺎﺘﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﺃﺠﻤـل... ﻤﺯﻗﺕ ﺴﺅﺍﻝﻲ ﻭﺃﻋﻠﻨﺕ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ...ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺭﻭﺤﻲ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻭﺼﻤﺘﻙ ﺃﺠﻤل ﻋﻴﻭﻥ ﻭﺸﻔﺎﻩ ﺍﻏﺘﺎﻝﺕ ﺴﺅﺍﻻﺘﻲ ﻭﺸﻜﻭﻜﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﻨﺎﺜﺭﺓ ،ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ﻴـﺎ ﻤﺘﻌﺔ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﺓ ،ﺍﻝﻌﻤﺭ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻭﺍﺭﺘﻌﺎﺸﺔ ﺍﻝﺠﺴﺩ ،ﺃﺭﻯ ﻓﻴﻙ ﺸﺭﻭﻗﺎ ﻭﻏﺭﻭﺒﺎ ﻭﺘﺠﻠﻲ ﺍﻝﻠﻴﺎﻝﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺼﻴﻑ ﻭﻨﺴﺎﺌﻤﻪ ،ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜـﻭﻥ ﻤﺎﻀـﻲ ﻭﻴﺤﺭﻗﻨﻲ ،ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩﻙ ﻁﻴﻔﺎ ،ﻜﻭﻨﻲ ﻭﺍﺒﻘﻲ ﻜﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﺕ ،ﻓﺼﻭﺘﻙ ﺍﻝﺠﻤﻴـل ﻴﻤﻠﻜﻨﻲ ﻭﺘﺎﺭﺓ ﺃﻫﺩﺍﺒﻙ ،ﻝﻭ ﺃﻨـﻲ ﺃﺭﺽ ﻝﺭﻓـﻀﺕ ﺍﻝﻤـﺎﺀ ﻭﻏـﺴﻠﻲ ﻝﺼﻼﺘﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺤﺒﺎﺕ ﺘﺭﺍﺒﻙ ﻭﻤﻥ ﺩﻤﻭﻋﻙ ﺩﻤﻴﺔ ﺘﺫﻫﺒﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻋﺎﻝﻡ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻓﻴﻪ .ﺴﺄﺭﺠﻊ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻌﺠﻭﺯ ﺍﻝﻐﺠﺭﻴـﺔ ،ﺴـﺄﻗﺒل ﻴـﺩﻴﻬﺎ، ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻫﺎ ﻜﻲ ﺘﻘﺭﺃ ﻝﻲ ﻁﺎﻝﻌﻲ ﻜﻲ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺨﻁﻭﺍﺘﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻔﻨﺠﺎﻥ ﻭﺴﺅﺍﻝﻲ، ﺴﺄﺼﺭﺥ ﻴﺎ ﻗﺩﻴﺴﺔ ﺍﻝﺸﻙ ﻭﺍﻝﻀﻔﺎﻑ ﺒﺄﻨﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ،ﻴﺎ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻗﺩ ﻤﻠﻜـﺕ ﻜل ﺨﺼﺎﺌﺼﻲ ﻭﺩﻭﻨﺘﻨﻲ ﺃﺴﻁﻭﺭﺓ ،ﻴﺎ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻗﻠﺒﺕ ﻗﻬـﺭﻱ ﺍﺒﺘـﺴﺎﻤﺔ ﺍﺼﻁﻨﻌﺘﻬﺎ ...ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺭﻭﻨﻕ ﺍﻝﺯﻤﺎﻥ ،ﻴﺎ ﻤﻭﺝ ﺍﻝﺒﺤﺭ ﻭﺭﺫﺍﺫﺓ ﻋﻤﺭﻱ، ﻴﺎ ﺃﺠﻤل ﻝﻭﺤﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ...ﻴﺎ ﺩﺍﻝﻴﺘﻲ ﺍﻷﺠﻤل ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﻭﺒﻴﻥ ﻜـل ﺃﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﻌﻨﺏ ﻭﻨﺴﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺤﻲ ﻭﺍﻝﻤﺩﻴﻨﺔ ،ﻴﺎ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﻝﻴﻠﺔ ﻗﺭﺏ ﻓﺠﺭﻫﺎ ،ﻴﺎ ﻭﺭﺩﺓ ﺘﻌﺏ ﺍﻝﺸﺘﺎﺀ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻨﺘﻅﺎﺭﻫﺎ" "ﻤﺎﻝﻲ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺒﻜﻼﻤﻙ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻗﻁﺭﺍﺕ ﺨﻭﻑ ﻭﺸـﻙ؟ ﺃﻭﻝـﻡ ﺘﻜـﻭﻥ ﺩﻤﻭﻋﻲ ﻋﻬﺩﺍ ﻭﺜﻴﻘﺎ ﻭﻭﻓﺎﺀ؟ ﺃﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻭﺼﻠﻲ ﻝﻙ ﻗﺭﺒﺎﻥ؟ ﻭﺇﻴﻤﺎﻨﻲ ﻝـﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺒﻬﺘﺎﻥ ،ﺃﻭﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﻗﺒﻼﺘﻲ ﻝﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻋﺸﺭﻴﻥ ﻤﺭﺓ ﻭﺜﻭﻕ ﻤﻭﻗﻌﺔ 189
ﺒﻤﺴﺎﺀﺍﺘﻨﺎ؟ ﺃﻭﻝﻴﺱ ﺼﺩﺭﻱ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻭﺤﺩﻙ ﻤﻥ ﻨﺎﻡ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺫﻫﺏ ﺒﺄﺤﻼﻤﻪ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻋﻭﺍﻝﻡ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻌﺭﻓﻬﺎ ﺴﻭﺍﻙ؟ ﺃﻭﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﺃﻨﺎﻤﻠﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻤﺎﺯﺍﻝـﺕ ﺘﺄﺨـﺫ ﺒﺩﻤﻭﻋﻙ ﻋﻥ ﺨﺩﻙ ﻭﺘﺭﺴﻡ ﺴﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﺒﻴﻥ ﻭﺠﻨﺘﻴﻙ؟ ﺃﻭﻝﻴـﺴﺕ ﺃﻨﻔﺎﺴـﻲ ﺤﻭل ﺃﺫﻨﻴﻙ ﻋﺼﻔﻭﺭﺍ ﺘﻐﺭﻴﺩﻩ ﺭﻋﺸﺎﺕ؟" ﻓﻲ ﺨﻀﻡ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ" :ﻤﺎﻝﻲ ﺃﺭﺍﻜﻡ ﻤﺘﻌﺎﺘﺒﻴﻥ؟" ﻭﻜﺄﻨﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﻨﺴﻤﻌﻬﺎ ،ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ" :ﻻ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺇﻨﻪ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻋﺘﺎﺒﺎ ﺇﻨﻤـﺎ ﺃﺴﺌﻠﺔ ﺭﺍﻗﺩﺓ ﻭﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﻤﻌﻙ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺃﻴﻘﻅﻬﺎ ،ﻗﺩ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺸﺒﻴﻬﻪ ﺒﺴﺅﺍﻻﺘﻙ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﻬﺭﺒﻲ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ،ﻭﻝﻜﻥ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻤﺘﻰ؟ ﺃﻻ ﻴﺠﺏ ﻋﻠﻴﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻝﺤﻅـﺔ ﻤـﻥ ﺃﻴﺎﻤﻨﺎ ﺃﻥ ﻨﻘﻑ ﻭﻗﻔﺔ ﺍﺴﺘﺠﻭﺍﺏ ﺼﺭﻴﺤﺔ ﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﺃﻨﻔـﺴﻨﺎ؟ ﺃﻭ ﺃﻥ ﻨـﺭﻯ ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻭﻝﻭ ﻝﻠﺤﻅﺔ ﻜﻤﺎ ﻴﺠﺏ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺭﻯ ﺒﻌﻴﺩﺍ ﻋﻥ ﺨﺩﺍﻋﻨﺎ ﻷﻨﻔﺴﻨﺎ؟" ﺃﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﺍﺠﻬﺔ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﻬﺭﻭﺏ ﻭﺃﺒﺘﻌﺩ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺼﺎﺩﻤﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻨﻌﺭﻑ ﻨﻬﺎﻴﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻭﻗﻔﺕ ﻭﻜﺄﻥ ﺃﺤﺩﺍ ﺃﻓﺯﻋﻨﻲ ﻭﻗﻠـﺕ" :ﺒﻐـﺩﺍﺩ ﺃﻻ ﻨﺫﻫﺏ؟ ﻓﺎﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﻗﺩ ﻤﻀﻰ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻨﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻪ" ﻭﻗﻔﺕ ﻭﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺠﻴﺏ ﻋﻥ ﺴﺅﺍﻝﻲ ،ﻜﺄﻨﻲ ﺃﺴـﻌﻔﺘﻬﺎ ﺒـﺎﻝﺨﺭﻭﺝ، ﻓﻘﺎﻝﺕ" :ﻫﻴﺎ ﺒﻨﺎ ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻤﺴﺘﻌﺩﺓ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ" ﺍﺴﺘﺩﺍﺭﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﻭﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﺍﺴﻤﺤﻲ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺜﻴـﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﺇﻨـﺎ ﺫﺍﻫﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻵﻥ ،ﻨﺤﻥ ﻻ ﻨﺴﻜﻥ ﺒﻌﻴﺩﺍ ﻤﻥ ﻫﻨﺎ ﻭﺃﻨـﺎ ﺃﻭﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺭﺍﻙ ﻤـﺭﺓ 190
ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ،ﻓﻠﻨﺒﻘﻰ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﺘﺼﺎل ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻌﻅﻡ ﺍﻷﺤﻴﺎﻥ ﻭﺤﺩﻱ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ، ﺴﺘﺴﻌﺩﻴﻨﻨﻲ ﻝﻭ ﻗﻀﻴﻨﺎ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﻥ ﻭﺍﻷﺨﺭ ﻭﻗﺕ ﺴﻭﻴﺎ" "ﻭﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﺒﻘﻲ ﻭﺤﺩﻙ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ؟" ﻝﻡ ﺃﻨﺘﻅﺭ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﺠﻴﺏ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻭﻗﻠﺕ" :ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻋﻤل ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﻴﻨﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﺠﺎﻭﺭﺓ ﻭﻫﻲ ﺘﺒﻌﺩ ٣٠ﺩﻗﻴﻘﺔ ﻋﻥ ﺒﻴﺘﻨﺎ ،ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﻬﻲ ﻋﻤﻠﻲ ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺩﻱ ﺍﻝﺭﻴﺎﻀﻲ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﻨﺘﺴﺏ ﺇﻝﻴﻪ ،ﻭﻫﺫﺍ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻴﻭﻤﻴﺎ ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﺜﻼﺜﺔ ﺃﻴـﺎﻡ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻷﺴﺒﻭﻉ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻭﻀﻊ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﻌﻲ ،ﺃﻤﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺸﺎﺭﻜﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻜﺒﻴـﺭﺓ ﺃﺫﻫـﺏ ﻴﻭﻤﻴﺎ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺇﻨﻬﺎﺀ ﻋﻤﻠﻲ ،ﻭﻓﻲ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻔﺘﺭﺓ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻭﺤﺩﻫﺎ ،ﺘـﺫﻫﺏ ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﻴﻨﺔ ﻝﻘﻀﺎﺀ ﺤﺎﺠﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻝﻘﻀﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ" "ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻻ ﺘﻌﻤﻠﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻭﻗﺕ ﻓﺭﺍﻏﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ؟" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻋﻤل ﻴﻭﻤﻴﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﺴﺒﻭﻉ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺴﻴﺩﺓ ﻤﺴﻨﺔ ،ﻤﺎ ﻴﻌﺎﺩل ﺃﺭﺒﻌـﺔ ﺴﺎﻋﺎﺕ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻴﻭﻡ ،ﻭﻫﺫﺍ ﻴﻜﻔﻴﻨﻲ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﻤل ﺜﻤﺎﻨﻴـﺔ ﺃﻭ ﻋﺸﺭ ﺴﺎﻋﺎﺕ" "ﻭﻝﻤﺎ ﻻ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ؟" "ﻜﻨﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ ﺃﻋﻤل ﺤﺘﻰ ﺩﺨﻭل ﺍﻝﻠﻴل ﻭﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺎل ﺠﻴﺩﺍ، ﻓﻜﻨﺎ ﻨﺘﻘﺎﺒل ﻓﻘﻁ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻠﻴل ﻨﺠﻠﺱ ﻤﺎ ﻴﻌﺎﺩل ﺍﻝـﺴﺎﻋﺘﻴﻥ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻝـﺜﻼﺙ، 191
ﻭﻤﻥ ﺜﻡ ﻨﺨﻠﺩ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻓﺭﺍﺸﻨﺎ ،ﺍﺴﺘﻤﺭ ﺍﻝﺤﺎل ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﻝﻔﺘﺭﺓ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺯﻤﻥ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﺨﻼﻓﺎﺕ ﺴﺒﺒﻬﺎ ﻗﻠﺔ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﺒﻴﻨﻨﺎ ،ﻓﻘﺭﺭﻨﺎ ﺤﻴﻨﻬﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺘﺭﻙ ﺍﻝﻌﻤـل ﻭﺃﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻥ ﻏﻴﺭﻩ ﻜﻲ ﻨﺴﺘﺜﻤﺭ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﻝﺤﻴﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﻨﺤﺎﻓﻅ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻱ ﻋﺎﺌﻕ ﻗﺩ ﻴﺴﺒﺏ ﻝﻨﺎ ﻨﺯﺍﻋﺎﺕ ﻨﺤﻥ ﺒﻐﻨﻰ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ،ﻗﻠﻴل ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺎل ﻭﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﺃﻓﻀل ﻤﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻌﻜﺱ ،ﻝﻥ ﻨﻨﺩﻡ ،ﻓـﻨﺤﻥ ﺭﺍﻀـﻴﻴﻥ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﻜل ﺍﻝﺭﻀﺎ .ﺃﻤﺎ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻓﻨﺴﺘﻭﺩﻋﻙ ﺍﷲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻤل ﺃﻥ ﻨـﺭﺍﻙ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﻘﺭﻴﺏ ،ﺒﻴﺘﻨﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺜﻴﻭﺩﻭﺭﺍ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺔ ﺍﻷﺨﺭﻯ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﻝـﺴﺕ ﺒﺤﺎﺠﺔ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺨﺭﺠﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ،ﺍﺫﻫﺒﻲ ﺒﺎﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﻝﻼﺘﺠﺎﻩ ﺍﻷﺨـﺭ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﻅﻬﺭ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻌﻴﺩ "ﺠﺒل ﺍﻝﺜﻠﺞ" ﻭﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺒﻴﺘﻨﺎ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺭﻤﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﺼﺭ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﻌﺭﻓﻲ ﺒﺎﻝﺘﺄﻜﻴﺩ ﺠﺒل ﺍﻝﺜﻠﺞ؟" "ﻻ ﺘﻨﺴﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻫﻨﺎ ﻤﻨﺫ ﺯﻤﻥ ﻭﺠﺒل ﺍﻝﺜﻠﺞ ﻋﻠﻡ ،ﻻ ﻴﻭﺠـﺩ ﺃﺤﺩ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﻁﻘﺔ ﻻ ﻴﻌﺭﻓﻪ ،ﻓﻬﻭ ﻤﺜل ﺸﻴﺦ ﺍﻝﻌﺸﻴﺭﺓ ،ﻜـل ﺃﻓﺭﺍﺩﻫـﺎ ﺘﻌﺭﻓﻪ ...ﺴﺄﺭﻯ ﺇﻥ ﺸﺎﺀ ﺍﷲ ﻋﻥ ﻗﺭﻴﺏ ،ﺇﻥ ﺯﺭﺘﻜﻡ ﻓﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﻜﺭ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺫﻫﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﻔﻼﺤﻴﻥ ،ﻓﻬﻡ ﻴﻌﻤﻠﻭﺍ ﻓﻘﻁ ﻓـﻲ ﺃﻭﻗـﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﺼﺒﺎﺡ ،ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﺸﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻌﻅﻡ ﺍﻷﺤﻴﺎﻥ ،ﺍﺫﻫﺒﻭﺍ ﺃﺤﺒـﺎﺌﻲ ﻭﻝﻴﻜﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﺏ ﻤﻌﻜﻡ"
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ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﺨﺭﺠﻨﺎ ﻨﻨﻭﻱ ﺍﻝﺭﺠﻭﻉ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻤﺘﻌﺘﻨﺎ ،ﻓﻔﻲ ﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﺍﻝﻌﻭﺩﺓ ﻝﻥ ﻴﻜـﻭﻥ ﻤﺘﺴﻊ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ،ﺴﻨﻜﻤل ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﻭﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﺭﺤﻠﺔ. ﻋﺎﺼﻑ ﻤﺎﺯﺍل ﻓﻲ ﺍﻻﻨﺘﻅﺎﺭ ﻴﺴﺘﺠﻡ ﺒﻜﺜﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﺨﻀﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﻷﻋـﺸﺎﺏ ﻭﺍﻝﻤﻴﺎﻩ ﻤﻥ ﺤﻭﻝﻪ ...ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﻭﺩﺓ ﺍﺨﺘﺭﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺭﺠﻭﻉ ﻤﻥ ﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴـﻕ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺘﻴﻨﺎ ﻤﻨﻪ ،ﻓﺎﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﻻ ﻴﺴﻤﺢ ﺒﺄﻥ ﻨﺨﺘﺎﺭ ﻏﻴﺭﻫﺎ ﻓﺎﻝﻤﺴﺎﺀ ﺃﺸـﺭﻑ ﻭﺍﻝﻠﻴل ﺒﺩﺍ ﻗﺭﻴﺏ ،ﻗﺩ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﺃﻁﻭل ﻭﻨـﺭﻯ ﺃﺸـﻴﺎﺀ ﻤﺜﻴـﺭﺓ، ﻓﺎﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻭﻝﻪ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺨﻼﺏ ﻭﺴﺎﺤﺭ ،ﻴﺠﺏ ﺃﻥ ﻨـﺄﺘﻲ ﻤـﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻭﺒﻭﻗﺕ ﺃﻁﻭل ...ﺼﺎﺭ ﻋﺎﺼﻑ ﻴﻁﻭﻱ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻤﺴﺭﻋﺎ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﻭﺩﺓ ﻭﻨﺴﻤﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻬﻭﺍﺀ ﺍﻝﺩﺍﻓﺌﺔ ﺘﺭﺍﻗﺹ ﻭﺠﻭﻫﻨﺎ ،ﺘﺩﺍﻋﺏ ﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺍﻝﻤﻤﻭﺝ ﻭﺭﻤﻭﺵ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ. ﺴﺭﻨﺎ ﺒﻤﻭﺍﺯﺍﺓ ﺍﻝﻐﻴﻭﻡ ،ﺘﺭﻜﻨﺎ ﻭﺭﺍﺀﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﺒﺔ ،ﺃﺸﺠﺎﺭﻫﺎ ﻭﺃﻭﺭﺍﻗﻬـﺎ، ﺤﺘﻰ ﺒﺩﺍ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺠﺒل ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺯﻴﻨﺘﻪ ﺒﺸﻤﻭﻉ ﺒﻴﻀﺎﺀ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﺍﺴﻡ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. "ﺃﻨﻅﺭﻱ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﺍﺴﻤﻙ ﺴﻴﺭﺍﻩ ﻜل ﻤﻥ ﺴﻴﺴﻠﻙ ﻫـﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴـﻕ، ﻝﻴﺱ ﻨﺤﻥ ﻓﻘﻁ ،ﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﺴﻤﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﻨﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺩﻤﺔ ﺍﺴـﻡ ﻜـل ﻓﺘـﺎﺓ ﻭﺸﺎﺏ ،ﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻋﻨﻭﺍﻥ ﻝﻠﺠﻤﺎل ،ﻝﻠﺒﻘﺎﺀ ﻭﺍﻝﻀﺤﻰ ﺒﺼﻔﺎﺌﻪ ،ﺴـﻁﻭﺭﻩ ﺴﺘﺒﻘﻴﻬﺎ ﺍﻷﺠﻴﺎل ﺨﺎﻝﺩﺓ ،ﺴﻴﺘﺩﺍﻭﻝﻭﻥ ﺫﻜﺭﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺠـﺎﻝﺱ ﺃﻭﺍﺌﻠﻬـﺎ، 194
ﺴﻴﻘﻁﻔﻭﺍ ﻭﺭﺩﻙ ﻭﻴﺤﺭﺜﻭﺍ ﺍﻝﺯﺭﻉ ...ﻫﻡ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻌﺭﻓﻭﺍ ﺃﺴﺭﺍﺭﻙ ...ﻻ ﺃﺤﺩ ﻴﻌﺭﻑ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ" "ﺘﻭﻗﻌﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ﻤﻔﺎﺠﺄﺕ ﻭﻝﻜﻥ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻜﻬﺫﻩ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﺘﻭﻗﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺘﺯﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺠﺒﺎل ﺒﺸﻤﻭﻉ ﺍﺴﻤﻲ" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﻌﻴﺩ ﺠﺩﺍ ﻷﻨﻲ ﺍﺴﺘﻁﻌﺕ ﻜﺘﺎﺒﺔ ﺍﺴﻤﻙ ﺒﺎﻝﺸﻤﻭﻉ ﻭﺤﻔﺭﺘﻪ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺼﺨﻭﺭ ﻗﺭﻴﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻏﺼﺎﻥ ﺃﺸﺠﺎﺭﻫﺎ ،ﻝﻭ ﺃﻨـﻲ ﻤﺠـﺭﻡ ﻤﻁـﺎﺭﺩ ﻝﻜﺘﺒﺕ ﺍﺴﻤﻙ ﺒﺩﻤﺎﺀ ﺃﻋﺩﺍﺌﻲ ،ﻋﻠﻰ ﻜل ﺭﺼﻴﻑ ﻗﺘﻠﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺭﺠـل... ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻪ ،ﻝﻜﺘﺒﺕ ﺒﺩﻤﻪ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻓﻘﻁ ﺤﺭﻭﻑ ﺍﺴﻤﻙ ،ﻻ ﺒل ﺸﻌﺭﺍ ،ﻨﺜﺭﺍ، ﺃﺘﻐﺯل ﺒﻪ ﻴﺎ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺘﻲ ،ﻴﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ،ﻴﺎ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻴـﺎ ﺃﻏﻨﻴـﺔ ﺴﺄﺒﻘﻰ ﺃﻏﻨﻴﻬﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺁﺨﺭ ﺃﻨﻔﺎﺴﻲ" ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﺤﻴﺙ ﻤﺘﺎﻋﻨﺎ ،ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻜﻤﺎ ﺘﺭﻜﻨـﺎﻩ ﻭﻋـﺼﺎﻓﻴﺭ ﻜﺜﻴـﺭﺓ ﺘﺤﺎﻭل ﺒﺒﺭﺍﺀﺘﻬﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺄﻜل ﻭﻝﻭ ﺭﺫﺍﺫﺓ ﻤﻥ ﺤﺒـﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻔﺎﻜﻬـﺔ ...ﺤﺘـﻰ ل ﻓﺘﻁﺎﻴﺭﺕ ﻫﺎﺭﺒﺔ ﺨﺎﺌﻔـﺔ ،ﻻ ﺘﻌـﺭﻑ ﺃﺤﺴﺕ ﺒﺼﻭﺕ ﻋﺎﺼﻑ ﻤﻘﺒ ٍ ﺭﺯﺍﻨﺘﻪ ...ﻫﺫﺍ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺤﺎل ﻋﻨﺩﻨﺎ ...ﻓﺎﻝﺨﻭﻑ ،ﺍﻝﻔﺯﻉ ،ﻭﺍﻝﺭﻫﺒـﺔ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻭﺍﻝﻠﺤﻅﺔ ﻭﺍﻝﻐﺩ ﻤﺯﺭﻭﻉ ﺒﺄﻨﻔﺱ ﺴﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﻴﻨﺔ ،ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﺍﻝﻁﻴﻭﺭ ﻭﺤﺩﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﻋﻭﺒﺔ...
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ﺠﻠﺴﻨﺎ ﻭﺤﻭﻝﻨﺎ ﺒﺎﻗﺎﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﻭﻋﺔ ...ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺠﻬﺯﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﻬﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺸﻜل ﻜﻲ ﺃﺤﻤل ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻝﺴﺤﺎﺒﺘﻲ ،ﺃﻤﻭﺕ ﻷﻜﻭﻥ ﻝﻬﺎ ﻨـﺴﻤﺔ ﺘﺤﻤﻠﻬـﺎ ﻜﻠﻤـﺎ ﺭﺍﺤﺕ ﻭﺤﻠﺕ ،ﺠﻭﺭﻴﺔ ﺘﻀﻌﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻗﻤﻴﺼﻬﺎ ...ﻝـﻡ ﻨﺠﻠـﺱ ﻓﻘـﻁ ﻻﺤﺘﺴﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻁﻌﺎﻡ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﻋﺩﺘﻪ ،ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﻻﺤﺘﺴﺎﺀ ﻏﺭﺍﻤﺎﺘﻨﺎ ،ﻨﺘﺒﺎﺩل ﺍﻝﻘﺒـل، ﺃﻤﺩ ﻴﺩﻱ ﺘﺤﺕ ﻓﺴﺘﺎﻨﻬﺎ ﺍﻷﺒﻴﺽ ﺃﺩﺍﻋﺒﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻀﻊ ﺃﺼﺎﺒﻌﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺸـﻌﺭﻫﺎ ﺍﻷﺤﻤﺭ ﻭﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﺒﺠﻤﺎﻝﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻔﺭﻁ ،ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻬﺎ" :ﻴﺎ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺇﻥ ﺍﻝﺨﻤﻭﺭ ﺘﺫﻫﺏ ﺍﻝﻌﻘﻭل ،ﻭﻝﻜﻥ ﺤﺒﻙ ﺃﻭﺼﻠﻨﻲ ﻝﺩﺭﺠﺔ ﺍﻝﺜﻤﻭل ،ﺃﺠﻠﺱ ﻴﺎ ﺍﻤـﺭﺃﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺎﻫﻲ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﻭﺍﻝﻜل ﺃﺴﻜﺭﺘﻪ ﺍﻝﺨﻤﻭﺭ ...ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻭﺤﺩﻱ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺴﻜﺭﻩ ﻋﺸﻘﻙ ،ﻴﺎ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺴﻠﺒﺕ ﻋﻘﻠﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺸﻬﺭ ﻋﺒﺎﺩﺘﻲ ﺒﺩﻻ ﻤـﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻗﺭﺃ ﻗﺭﺁﻨﻲ ﻜﻤﺎ ﺍﻋﺘﺩﺕ ...ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻭﺭﺍﻗﻲ ﻭﺃﻗﻼﻤﻲ ﻜﻲ ﺃﺘﻌﺒﺩ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻜﺘﺎﺒﺔ ﻋﻨﻙ ،ﺘﻤﻜﻥ ﺤﺒﻙ ﻭﺍﻝﺴﺭﻭﺭ ﻤﻥ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻭﺼـﺭﺕ ﻻ ﺃﻋﻲ ...ﻫل ﻴﻁﻴﺏ ﺍﻝﺯﻤﺎﻥ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻻ ﺘﻜﻭﻨﻲ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻤﻌﻲ؟ ﺒﺎﷲ ﻴﺎ ﻀﻭﺀ ﺍﻝﺸﻤﺱ ﻭﻴﺎ ﻨﻭﺭ ﺍﻝﻘﻤﺭ ﻗل ﻝﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻋﻥ ﻭﻝﻌﻲ ﻋﻨـﺩﻤﺎ ﻻ ﺘﻜـﻭﻥ ﺒﻤﻘﻠﺘﻲ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺭﺘﻭﻱ ...ﻭﻝﻴﺘﻘﻲ ﺍﷲ ﻤﻥ ﻗﺎل ﺃﻥ ﺤﺒـﻲ ﻭﻫـﻡ ...ﺇﻨـﻲ ﺒﻐﺭﺍﻤﻲ ﻭﻋﺸﻘﻲ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺃﺩﻋﻲ ﻤﻠﻙ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻡ ،ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻴﺎ ﺩﺤﻨﻭﻨﺔ ﻗﺭﻴﺘﻨﺎ ،ﻴﺎ ﺃﻡ ﺍﻝﺩﺤﻨﻭﻥ ﺃﻨﺕ ،ﺭﻭﺤﻲ ﻓﺩﺍﻙ ،ﻴﺎ ﺒﻴﻀﺎﺀ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻭﻴـﺎ ﺤﻤـﺭﺍﺀ ﻋﻨـﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﺨﺠﻠﻴﻥ ﻭﺘﺤﺒﻴﻥ" "ﻫل ﺨﻤﺭﺕ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ؟" ﺴﺄﻝﺘﻨﻲ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ.
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"ﺇﻨﻲ ﻭﺍﷲ ﺸﺭﺒﺕ ﺤﺒﻙ ﻭﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﻠﻡ ﺃﻨﻪ ﺃﺴﻜﺭﻨﻲ ،ﻋﺸﻘﺘﻙ ﻭﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﻠـﻡ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺒﻌﺸﻘﻙ ﺴﺄﻓﻘﺩ ﺍﻝﻭﻋﻲ ﻭﺍﻝﻌﺏﺀ ...ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﻲ ﻤﻨﻲ ﻭﻫﺎﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﺸﻔﺘﻴﻥ ﻓﻤﺎ ﺘﺯﺍل ﺴﻌﺎﺩﺘﻲ ﻁﻭﻉ ﻜﺒﺭﻴﺎﺌﻙ ،ﺘﻌﺎﻝﻲ ﻭﺘﻭﺴﺩﻱ ﺼـﺩﺭﻱ ...ﻭﺤﺒـﻲ ﻤﺘﻌﺔ ...ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻘﻠﺏ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﺨﺎﻓﻴﻥ ﺨﻔﻘﺎﻨﻪ ...ﻤﺎﻝﻲ ﻭﺩﻨﻴﺎﻫﻡ ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻭﺃﻨـﺕ ﻭﺤﺒﻲ ﻝﻙ ﻋﺎﻝﻡ ،ﺍﻝﻬﻭﻯ ﻭﺍﻝﻌﺸﻕ ﻭﺍﻝﻐﺭﺍﻡ ﻭﻗﻑ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻜﺎﻨﻪ ...ﻫـﺎﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﺸﻔﺘﻴﻥ ...ﻓﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ﻤﻥ ﻏﻴﺭﻫﻥ ﻋﺎﻝﺔ ،ﺘﻌﺏ ،ﺇﺭﻫﺎﻕ ﻭﻻ ﺃﻗﻭﻯ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﺭﺍﻙ ،ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻫﺎﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﺸﻔﺘﻴﻥ ﻓﺎﻝﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﺸﺭﺴﺔ ﻓﻜﻴﻑ ﻫﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺩﻭﻨﻙ؟ ﻭﺩﻭﻨﻙ ﺤﺒﻲ ﺘﻨﺎﻭﻝﻴﻪ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺨﻴﻭل ﻭﺍﻤﺘﻁﻴﻪ ...ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺃﻻ ﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺒﻴﺘﻨﺎ؟ ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﺎﺸﺘﻴﺎﻕ ﻝﻪ ﻜﺄﻨﻲ ﻏﺎﺌﺏ ﻋﻨﻪ ﻤﻨﺫ ﺯﻤﻥ ،ﺃﺘﺸﻭﻕ ﻝﺤﺠـﺭﻩ ﻭﺯﻭﺍﻴﺎﻩ ...ﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻭﺴﺎﺩﺘﻨﺎ ،ﻓﺭﺍﺸﻨﺎ ،ﻨﻘﻑ ﻓﻲ ﺯﺍﻭﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﻐﺭﻓﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺴﺭﻴﺭ ﻁﻔﻠﻨﺎ ...ﺇﻝﻰ ﻤﻨﺯﻝﻨﺎ ،ﺍﺴﺘﻘﺭﺍﺭﻨﺎ ،ﻤﻤﻠﻜﺘﻨﺎ ،ﻭﻫﻨﺎﺀ ﺃﺭﻭﺍﺤﻨﺎ" ﺒﺩﺃﻨﺎ ﺤﻤل ﻤﺘﺎﻋﻨﺎ ﻨﺴﺘﻌﺩ ﻝﻠﻌﻭﺩﺓ ...ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﺠـﺭﺓ ﻨﻭﻤﻨـﺎ ،ﻏﺭﻓـﺔ ﺍﻻﺴﺘﻘﺒﺎل ،ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﺩﻴﻘﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﻭﺭﻭﺩﻫﺎ ،ﻋﺎﺼﻑ ﻴﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻴﻨﺎ ﺤﺯﻴﻥ ﻝﺫﻫﺎﺒﻨﺎ، ﻋﻠﻡ ﺃﻨﻪ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺍﻕ ،ﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﺤﻤل ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﺸﻴﺌﺎ ﻓﺸﻲﺀ ﻭﺤﻤﻠـﺕ ﺒﻐـﺩﺍﺩ ﻭﻭﻀﻌﺘﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﺼﻐﻴﺭ ...ﺠﻠﺴﺕ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻲ ﺒﻴﻨﻤﺎ ﺃﺠﺩﻑ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﻤﻬل ﺒﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﺍﻝﻌﻭﺩﺓ ،ﺃﺴﺘﻤﺩ ﻗﻭﺘﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺤﻀﻭﺭﻫﺎ ،ﻨـﺼﺏ ﻗﺎﻤﺘﻬـﺎ، ﻋﻨﺎﻕ ﻤﻘﻠﺘﻴﻬﺎ ...ﺘﺴﺘﻔﺯﻨﻲ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﻌﺽ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺸﻔﺘﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻜـﺎﻥ ﻁﺭﻴـﻕ ﺍﻝﻌﻭﺩﺓ ﺃﺴﺭﻉ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺫﻫﺎﺏ ﻭﺍﻨﺴﻴﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﻤﻴﺎﻩ ﻭﺠﻬﺘﻨﺎ ،ﻻ ﻨﺤﺱ ﺒـﺴﺭﻋﺔ 197
ﺍﻝﺯﻭﺭﻕ ﻝﻬﺩﻭﺀ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﻭﺼﻔﺎﺌﻪ ،ﻨﺨﻠﻑ ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻭﺍﻝﻤﻜـﺎﻥ ﻭﺭﺍﺀﻨـﺎ، ﻤﻀﻰ ﺒﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﻭﺤﻭﺍﺭﻨﺎ ﺼﻤﺕ ﺼﺎﺭﺥ ﻭﺍﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺔ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻌﺩ ﺘﺤﺘﻤـل ﺍﻻﺨﺘﻔﺎﺀ ،ﻝﻬﻴﺏ ﻴﻨﺴﻑ ﺒﺄﻋﻤﺎﻗﻨﺎ ،ﻁﻘﻭﺱ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺭﻭﺍﺤﻨﺎ ﻨﻌﻴﺸﻬﺎ ﺒﻠﺤﻅﺔ ﻭﻴﻔﺘﻘﺭ ﺍﻝﻜﻼﻡ ﻋﻥ ﻓﻬﻤﻬﺎ ،ﺸﺭﺤﻬﺎ ،ﻭﺼﻔﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻭ ﺍﻝﺘﻌﺒﻴﺭ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ... ﺒﺩﺕ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺒﺎﺤﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺯل ﺍﻝﺨﻀﺭﺍﺀ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻌﻴﺩ ،ﻜﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﻝﻌﺒﺔ ﺃﻁﻔﺎل ﻭﺒﻴﺘﻨﺎ ﺼﻨﺩﻭﻕ ﺼﻐﻴﺭ ...ﺼﺭﻨﺎ ﻨﺘﺴﺎﺒﻕ ﺒﻠﻬﻔﺔ ﻭﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ،ﺃﻨﻔﺎﺴـﻨﺎ ﻋﻠـﺕ، ﻤﺴﻤﻭﻋﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺸﺩﺓ ﺍﻝﻨﺸﻭﺓ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻭﺍﺸﻜﻨﺎ ﻅل ﺒﻴﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﺸﺒﺎﺒﻴﻜﻪ ...ﺒﻐـﺩﺍﺩ ﻫﺎ ﻗﺩ ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﻭﻜﺄﻥ ﺭﺤﻠﺘﻨﺎ ﻏﺭﺒﺔ ﻭﺍﻵﻥ ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ﺍﻝﻌﻭﺩﺓ ،ﺃﻴﺎﻡ ﻭﺸـﻬﻭﺭ ﻁﻭﻴﻠﺔ ،ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻝﻭﻋﺔ ﻭﺍﺸﺘﻴﺎﻕ ﻝﺒﻴﺘﻨﺎ ...ﻭﺇﻝﻴﻙ ،ﻫﺎ ﻨﺤﻥ ﻫﻨـﺎ ﻭﻀـﻴﻔﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺘﻅﺭ ...ﻫﻨﺎ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻤﻨﻨﺎ ،ﺤﺩﻴﻘﺘﻨﺎ ،ﻗﺼﺭﻨﺎ ،ﺠﺯﻴﺭﺘﻨـﺎ، ﺍﻝﺠﻨﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻨﺴﻌﺩ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻏﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ...ﺭﺴﺎ ﺒﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺤﺎﻓـﺔ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺠﻬﺔ ﺍﻝﻘﺭﻴﺒﺔ ﻝﻠﺠﺴﺭ ﺍﻝﺨﺸﺒﻲ ﺍﻝﻘﻭﺴﻲ ﺍﻝﺼﻐﻴﺭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻝـﻪ ﻭﺯﻭﺭﻗﻨﺎ ﻋﻼﻗﺔ ﻻ ﺘﻘل ﺃﻫﻤﻴﺔ ﻤﻨﻪ ﻤﻌﻨﺎ. "ﺴﺄﻨﺯل ﻤﺘﺎﻋﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ﻭﺃﻀﻌﻬﺎ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺍﻝﺠـﺴﺭ ،ﺍﺒﻘـﻲ ﻴـﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻨﺘﻬﻲ ﻭﺴﺄﺭﺠﻊ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﺤﻤﻠﻙ ﻝﻠﺒﻴﺕ ﻭﺃﺩﺨﻠﻙ ﺤﺠـﺭﺓ ﻨﻭﻤﻨﺎ ،ﻓﺴﺭﻴﺭﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻌﺩ ﻴﺤﺘﻤل ﺍﻻﻨﺘﻅﺎﺭ ...ﺃﻀﺠﻌﻙ ﻋﻠﻴـﻪ ﺒﻬـﺩﻭﺀ ﺍﺼﻁﻨﻌﻪ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻜﺤﺒﻨﺎ ﻭﺸﻭﻗﻨﺎ ﻝﺒﻌﻀﻨﺎ"
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ﺃﺨﺫﺕ ﻜل ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ،ﻭﻀﻌﺘﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺯل ،ﻋﺩﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺒﻐـﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻤـﺎ ﻱ ﺘﺯﺍل ﺠﺎﻝﺴﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﺘﻨﺘﻅﺭﻨﻲ ،ﻋﺩﻭﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻬـﺎ ﺃﻭﻤـﺊ ﺒﻌﻴﻨـﺎ ﻭﺃﻜﺘﺎﻓﻲ ،ﺃﺩﺍﻋﺒﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻋﺒﺭ ﻋﻥ ﻝﻬﻔﺘﻲ ﻝﻬـﺎ ،ﺘﻨﻅـﺭ ﺇﻝـﻲ ﻻ ﺘﺤﺘﻤـل ﺍﻨﺘﻅﺎﺭﻱ ﺭﻏﻡ ﻗﺭﺒﻲ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ،ﻴﺭﺍﻗﺼﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﻴﺴﺎﺭ ﻭﻴﻤﻴﻥ... "ﻝﻘﺩ ﺃﺘﻴﺕ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﺩﻋﻴﻨﻲ ﺃﺤﻤﻠﻙ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻴـﺩﻱ ﺍﻝﻴﻤﻨـﻰ ﺘﺤﺕ ﺭﺃﺴﻙ ،ﻭﺍﻝﻴﺴﺭﻯ ﺃﺤﻤل ﺒﻬﺎ ﺭﺠﻠﻴﻙ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺴﻤﻊ ﻜﻠﻤﺔ ﺤﺏ ﻗﻠﺘﻬﺎ ﻝﻲ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻬﻤﺴﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﺸﻭﻕ ﻭﺍﻝﺩﻨﻭ ﻤﻨﻲ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﻠﻤﺴﺎﺘﻙ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺨﺎﻓﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻠﻴﺎﻝﻲ ﻭﻻ ﻤﻥ ﻅﻼﻤﻬﺎ ...ﺒﻐـﺩﺍﺩ ﺘﻌﺎﻝﻲ ﺇﻝﻲ ﻭﺤﻴﻜﻲ ﺭﻋﺸﺘﻲ ﺜﻭﺒﻙ ﺍﻝﺨﻤﺭﻱ ﺍﻝﺤﺭﻴﺭ ...ﺸﻭﻗﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﻝﻥ ﻴﺭﻭﻴﻪ ﻋﻨﺎﻕ ﻭﻻ ﺘﻘﺒﻴل ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﻭﻝﻭ ﻝﻤﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﺤﺩﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺍﻜﺘﻔﻴﺕ ﻤﻥ ﻋﺸﻘﻲ ﻭﺸﻭﻗﻲ ،ﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﺕ ﻤﻨﻙ ،ﺤﺩﺜﺘﻙ... ﻗﺭﺒﺕ ﺭﻭﺤﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺸـﺭﺍﻴﻴﻥ ﺍﻝـﺩﻡ ﻝﻘﻠﺒـﻙ ،ﺯﺍﺩ ﺸـﻭﻗﻲ ﻝﻤﻘﻠﺘﻴﻙ ...ﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﻨﺎﺠﻴﺘﻙ ﺃﻭ ﺠﻠﺴﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﺒﺦ ﺃﺭﺍﻗﺏ ﺠـﺴﺩﻙ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﺨﻠﻑ ﻭﺍﻨﺤﻨﺎﺀﺍﺘﻪ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺘﻨﻅﻴﻔﻙ ﺍﻷﻭﺍﻨﻲ ﻭﻓﻨﺎﺠﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻘﻬﻭﺓ ﻴـﺴﺤﺭﻨﻲ، ﺯﺍﺩ ﻋﺸﻘﻲ ﻭﺴﻠﻭﺘﻙ ...ﺃﺩﻋﻲ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺃﺴﺎﻋﺩﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺘﺠﻔﻴﻑ ﺍﻷﻭﺍﻨﻲ ﺒﻌـﺩ ﻏﺴﻠﻬﺎ ...ﻜﺫﺒﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﺴﺎﻤﺤﻴﻨﻲ ...ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﺒﻘﺎﺀ ﺠﺎﻨﺒﻙ ،ﻴﺯﻴﺩ ﺸﻭﻗﻲ ﻭﻴﺤﺘﺒﻙ ...ﻗﻠﺕ ﺒﺄﻨﻲ ﺃﻋﻴﻕ ﺤﺭﻜﺘﻙ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻁـﺒﺦ ﻭﻁﻠﺒـﺕ ﻤﻨـﻲ ﺍﻝﺨﺭﻭﺝ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ ﺍﻝﺠﻠﻭﺱ ،ﺃﻫﻴﺞ ﻭﻝﻬﻔﺘﻲ ﻨﺎﺭ ﺃﺫﻴﺎﻝﻬﺎ ﺘﺤﺭﻗﻙ ،ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﺭ ﺃﻏﻴﺜﻴﻨﻲ ...ﻫﺎ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻗﻑ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺤﺎﻓﺔ ﺴﺭﻴﺭﻨﺎ ﺃﻨـﺕ ﺍﻝﺘـﻲ 199
ﺍﺨﺘﺭﺘﻪ ،ﺘﺼﻤﻴﻡ ﺍﻴﻁﺎﻝﻲ ﻤﺭﺘﻔﻊ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻷﺴﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﺩﻴﺔ... ﺴﺄﺴﻘﻁﻙ ،ﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﻙ؟" "ﻻ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﻻ ﺘﺴﻘﻁﻨﻲ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻙ ،ﺃﺃﻫـﻭﻥ ﻋﻠﻴـﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺘﻭﺠﻊ؟ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺨﺎﻑ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺴﻘﻭﻁ ،ﺍﺭﻓﻌﻨﻲ ﻭﺃﺒﻘﻨﻲ ﺒـﻴﻥ ﻴـﺩﻙ ﻋﺭﻭﺱ ،ﻗﺒﻠﻨﻲ ﻤﺜل ﻜل ﻴﻭﻡ ،ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺘﻐﻴـﺭ ﺒﻤـﺭ ﺍﻝـﺴﻨﻴﻥ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﻋﻼﻗﺘﻨﺎ ،ﺤﺒﻨﺎ ،ﺯﻭﺍﺠﻨﺎ ،ﻋﺸﻘﻨﺎ ،ﺘﻁﻭﺭﻨـﺎ ﻭﺍﻨﻔﻌﺎﻝﻨـﺎ ،ﺃﺤﻤﻠﻨـﻲ ﻭﻻ ﺘﺘﺭﻜﻨﻲ ،ﺩﻋﻨﻲ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺫﺭﺍﻋﻴﻙ ﺒﺄﻨﻲ ﺃﺠﻤل ﺍﻝﻨﺴﺎﺀ ،ﺸﺩﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ... ﻓﺼﺩﺭﻙ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺴﺭﻴﺭﻱ ،ﻻ ﺘﻨﺯﻝﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺤﻀﻨﻙ ،ﺃﺒﻘﻨﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝـﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻤﻌﻙ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﻝﻥ ﺘﺘﻌﺏ ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ،ﻭﺴﺄﺴﺘﻔﺯ ﺭﺠﻭﻝﺘﻙ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺃﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺍﻨﻙ ﺴﺘﻐﻔﻭ ،ﺴﺄﻀﻤﻙ ﺇﻝﻲ ﻭﻝﻥ ﺃﺘﻨﺎﺯل ﻋﻨﻙ ،ﺴﺄﺒﻘﻰ ﻤﻤﺴﻜﺔ ﻻﺼﻘﺔ ﺒـﻙ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻨﻬﻭﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻓﺭﺍﺸﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺘﺭﻜﻙ ﺃﻭ ﺃﻨﻔﻙ ﻋﻨﻙ ،ﺴﺄﻭﺴـﺩ ﺭﺃﺴﻲ ﺒﻴﻥ ﻜﺘﻔﻴﻙ ﻭﺍﻝﻌﻨﻕ ...ﻭﺴﺄﺭﻗﺩ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﻠﺘﺤﻡ ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ﻤﻌﻙ ،ﻭﻝﻥ ﺃﻗﻭل ﻝﻙ ﻝﻴﻠﺘﻙ ﺴﻌﻴﺩﺓ ...ﺴﺄﺘﻠﻔﻌﻙ ﻭﺃﺴﻠﻡ ﺃﻤﺭﻱ ﷲ ﻭﺃﻏﻔﻭ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺒـﻴﻥ ﻴﺩﻴﻪ ﻭﺒﻙ" "ﻝﻥ ﺃﺴﻘﻁﻙ ،ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﺴﺄﻨﺯﻝﻙ ﻴـﺎ ﺼـﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﻫﻭﻨـﺎ ،ﺃﺴـﺘﻌﺩﻱ... ﺴﺄﻀﻌﻙ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻓﺭﺍﺸﻨﺎ ،ﺴﺄﺨﻠﻊ ﺤﺫﺍﺌﻙ ،ﺴـﺎﻋﺩﻴﻨﻲ ﺒﻴﻨﻤـﺎ ﺃﺤﻤﻠـﻙ، ﺴﺄﺨﻠﻊ ﺤﺫﺍﺌﻲ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﺃﻨﺯﻝﻙ ...ﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﺨﻠﻌﻪ ﻭﺤﺩﻱ ﻜﻲ ﻨﻬﻭﻱ ﻤﻌﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺴﺭﻴﺭ ،ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻓﻙ ﺍﻝﺘﺤﺎﻤﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻠﺤﻅﺔ ﻤﻨﻙ" 200
ﻲ ﻤﻼﺌﻜﺔ ﺃﻨﺯﻝﺘﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺴﺭﻴﺭ ﻭﺒﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻝﻠﺤﻅﺔ ﻗﻔﺯﺕ ﺒﺠﺎﻨﺒﻬﺎ ...ﻓ ﺭﺤﻤﺎﻨﻴﺔ ﺘﺘﺭﻨﻡ ،ﺘﺤﺘﺩﻡ ﺒﺭﻫﺞ ﺍﻨﺩﻤﺎﺠﻨﺎ ،ﺁﻨﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﻨﺤﺎﺱ ﺘﺤـﺕ ﺍﻝﻨـﺎﺭ ﻝﻬﻴﺒﻨﺎ ،ﻨﺸﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﻌﺭﻕ ﻤﻥ ﻴﻨﺒﻭﻉ ﺃﺠﺴﺎﺩﻨﺎ ﻤﺎﺀ ﺯﻤﺯﻡ ﻫﺠـﻴﻥ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺍﻝﺭﻑ ...ﻴﺒﺎﺭﻙ ﻏﺴﻠﻨﺎ. "ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﻫل ﺭﺃﻴﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺼﻨﺩﻭﻕ ﺍﻝﺒﺭﻴﺩ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺩﺨﻭﻝﻨﺎ؟" "ﻻ ...ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺃﻱ ﺸﻲﺀ ﺴﻭﺍﻙ" "ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺭﺴﺎﻝﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺼﻨﺩﻭﻕ ﺩﻋﻨﻲ ﺃﺤﻀﺭﻫﺎ" "ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﺭﻴﺩﻴﻥ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺤﻀﺭﻱ ﺍﻝﺭﺴﺎﻝﺔ؟ ﻫل ﺘﻨﺘﻅﺭﻴﻥ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻤﺎ؟" "ﻻ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﻨﺘﻅﺭ ﺸﻲﺀ ،ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﻫﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺩﺍﻭﻝﻨﻬﺎ" "ﺇﺫﺍ ﻓﺎﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﻤﻠﻜﻨﺎ ،ﺩﻋﻴﻨﺎ ﻤﻊ ﺃﻨﻔﺴﻨﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﺭﺴﺎﻝﺔ ﺴﺘﻨﺘﻅﺭ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﻐﺩ!" ﺒﻘﻴﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻓﺭﺍﺸﻨﺎ ،ﺘﻨﺎﺴﻴﻨﺎ ﺃﻱ ﺭﺴﺎﻝﺔ ﻭﺃﻱ ﻋﺎﺒﺭ ﻁﺭﻴﻕ. "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻁﺎﺌﺭ ﺃﻤﺴﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻋﺸﻙ ﺃﺘﻭﺠﻊ ،ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﺼـل ﺇﻝﻴـﻙ... ﻭﺃﻫﺠﻊ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﺜﻠﻙ ﻋﺎﺸﻕ ،ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﺠﺴﺩﻱ ﻭﻝﻴﻠﻲ ﻤﻭﻝـﻊ ،ﺃﻨـﺎ ﻤﺜﻠـﻙ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ...ﺃﻫﻭﻯ ،ﻻ ﺃﺘﻭﺍﻨﻰ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﺸﻕ ،ﻭﻝﻲ ﻓﻴﻙ ﺭﻏﺒﺔ ﻭﻤﻁﻤـﻊ، ﺴﺄﻗﻀﻲ ﻝﻴﻠﻲ ﻤﻌﻙ ،ﺤﺒﻲ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻤﻨﻪ ﺃﻨﺘﺸﻲ ﻭﺃﺘﻠﻭﻉ ،ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ 201
ﺴﻜﻨﺎﻩ ﻭﺴﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﻝﻨﺎ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺭﻭﻉ ،ﻫﻨﺎ ﻁﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺎﻡ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻭﺍﻝﻬﺠـﺭ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻤﺘﻭﻗﻊ ،ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﺭﻕ ﻝﺤﺎﻝﻨﺎ ﻭﻤﺼﺎﺌﺏ ﺍﻝﺩﻫﺭ ﻫﻤﺕ ﺒﺎﻝﺭﺤﻴل ﻭﻝـﻥ ﺘﺭﺠﻊ ...ﻭﻴﺎ ﺤﺒﺫﺍ ﻝﻭ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻋﺩﺍﺀﻨﺎ ...ﺃﻭﻗﻊ" ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺃﺴﺄل ﻋﻨﻙ ﻓﺭﺍﺸﺘﻲ ...ﻜل ﻓﺭﺍﺸـﺎﺕ ﻗﺭﻴﺘﻨـﺎ ،ﻫـل ﺭﺃﻯ ﺃﺤﺩﻜﻥ ﺍﻝﺠﻤﻴﻠﺔ ﺍﻝﺸﻔﺎﻓﺔ؟ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺭﺴﻤﺕ ﺒﺠﻨﺎﺤﻴﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﺠﻬـﻲ ﺁﻴـﺔ ﻏﺭﺍﺀ؟ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﻠﺕ ﻋﻠﻲ ﻗﺼﺹ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻭﺍﻝﻐﺭﺍﻡ ،ﺴﻭﺭﺍ ،ﻨﺜﺭﺍ ﻭﺸﻌﺭﺍ؟ ﻫﻲ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺴﺄﻝﺕ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ﻜل ﻓﺎﺘﻨﺔ ،ﻋﻥ ﻜﺭﻤﻬﺎ ،ﺠﻭﺩﻫﺎ ،ﻁﻠﻌﺘﻬﺎ، ﻭﻨﻅﺭﺓ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﺤﻠﻭﺓ. ﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﺕ ﺃﻤﻴﺭﺘﻲ ،ﻤﺎﺯﺍﻝﺕ ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﻙ ﺠﻴﺎﺸﺔ ،ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﺨﻀﺭﺍﺀ ،ﻴـﺎ ﻲ ﺭﻴﺎﻨﺔ ﻋﻤﺭﻱ ﺯﻴﺩﻱ ﺃﻴﺎﻡ ﺤﺒﻨﺎ ﻭﻝﻭ ﻴﻭﻡ ،ﻴﺎ ﺴﻜﺭﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﺸﻔﺘﻴﻥ ﺤﻨﻲ ﻋﻠ ﻲ ﻴـﺎ ﺒﻘﺒﻠﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺸﻔﺔ ﺍﻝﺴﻔﻠﻰ ﻓﺈﻥ ﺒﺨﻠﺕ ﻓﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻌﻠﻴـﺎ ...ﺤﻨـﻲ ﻋﻠـ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﺒﻨﻅﺭﺓ ﻤﻥ ﻋﻴﻨﻙ ﺍﻝﻴﺴﺭﻯ ،ﻭﺇﻥ ﺒﺨﻠﺕ ﻓﺒﺎﻝﻴﻤﻨﻰ ،ﺨﺩﻱ ﻴـﺎ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺇﺫﺍ ﻨﺎﻝﺕ ﻤﻥ ﻋﻁﻔﻙ ﻭﻝﻤﺎﺴـﺎﺘﻙ ﻋﺒﻘـﺎ ﺒﺭﻋﻤـﺕ ﺯﻫـﻭﺭ ﻭﻨﺭﺠﺱ ...ﻫﺎﺘﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﺸﻜﻭ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻋﻭﺯﺍ ﻭﻓﻘﺭﺍ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﻴﺎ ﺜﺎﺌﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺩﻴﻥ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ...ﺃﻨﺘﻅﺭ ﺯﻜﺎﺓ ﺤﺒﻙ ،ﻓﻌﺸﻘﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻌﺩ ﺴﺭﺍ، ﺼﺎﺭ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺠﺩﺭﺍﻥ ﺇﻋﻼﻥ ﻭﺭﺴﻤﺎ.
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ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺍﺒﻴﺽ ﺸﻌﺭﻱ ،ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﺘﻔﻲ ...ﺘﺴﻠل ﻭﻏﺯﻯ ﺼـﺩﺭﻱ ﻭﻜـل ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ،ﻭﺤﺒﻙ...؟ ﻤﺎﺯﺍل ﻏﺼﻥ ﺍﻝﻭﺤﻲ ﻓﺘﻰ ﻴﻐﺎﺯل ﺍﻝﺤﻤﺎﻤﺎﺕ ﻭﻤﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ. "ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺒﻘﻰ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻙ ﻁﻴﻔﺎ ﺃﺘﻌﺒﺩ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺤﺭﺍﺒﻙ ،ﻤﻊ ﺩﻗﺎﺕ ﻗﻠﺒﻙ ﺃﺼﺒﺢ ﻭﺃﻤﺴﻲ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻀﻊ ﻴﺩﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺨـﺩﻙ ﻗﺒـل ﺃﻥ ﺃﻏﻤـﺽ ﺠﻔﻨﻲ ،ﺃﺼﺤﻭ ﻭﻴﺩﻱ ﻭﺃﺼﺎﺒﻌﻬﺎ ﺒﺎﻗﻴﺔ ﺘﻼﻤﺴﻪ ،ﻭﻝﺘﻠﺘﻬﻡ ﺸﻔﺎﻫﻨﺎ ﺒﻌﻀﻬﺎ ﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﻨﻐﻤﺽ ﺃﻋﻴﻨﻨﺎ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺼﺤﻭ ﻭﻫﻲ ﻤﺎﺯﺍﻝﺕ ﺘﺘﻤـﺩﺩ ﺒـﻴﻥ ﺸﻔﺎﻫﻲ ﻤﺜل ﺃﻋﺭﺍﺒﻲ ﻤﻠﺜﻡ ﻻ ﻴﻅﻬﺭ ﻤﻨﻪ ﺴﻭﻯ ﻋﻴﻨﺎﻩ ﻴﺤﺘﻀﻥ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻪ ﻭﺭﻤﺎل ﺍﻝﺼﺤﺭﺍﺀ ﻏﻁﺎﺌﻬﻡ ،ﻴﺤﻤﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺘﻨﺎﻗﻀﺎﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﺨﻨﺎﺠﺭ ﺍﻝﺒﺭﺩ... ﺒﺎﷲ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ،ﺒﺤﺒﻨﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻻ ﺘﻬﺠﺭﻴﻨـﻲ ...ﻻ ﺘﺘﻨـﺎﺯﻝﻲ ﻋﻨـﻲ ﻭﻻ ﺘﻜﺸﻔﻴﻨﻲ ،ﺒﻤﺴﺎﺀﺍﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﻨﺸﻭﺘﻬﺎ ﺇﻥ ﺃﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺒﻬﺎ ﺤﻘﺎ ﻻ ﺘﺘﺭﻜﻴﻨﻲ ،ﻭﻝﺘﻜﻥ ﻗﻴﻠﻭﻝﺘﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺼﻔﺎﺀ ﺃﻏﻨﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ،ﻋﻭﺩﺍ ،ﻗﺎﻨﻭﻨﺎ ،ﻗﺎﻨﻭﻥ ﻴﺭﺠﻊ ﺇﻝﻴـﻪ ﺃﻫﻠﻨﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ،ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩﻙ ﺫﻜﺭﻯ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩﻙ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺒﻘـﻲ ﻤـﺩﺍﻤﻌﻲ، ﻤﺎﺯﺍﻝﺕ ﺒﻘﺎﻴﺎ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺠﻑ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ ﻭﻓﺭﺍﻕ ﺃﻤﻲ ،ﻜﻭﻨﻲ ﺩﺍﺌﻤـﺎ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﻴﺎ ﺭﺒﻲ ﺃﺩﻋﻭﻙ ،ﺃﺘﻀﺭﻉ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺒﻘﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﻌﻲ ،ﻓﺈﻨﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﻬـﺎ ﻭﻻ ﻭﺠﻭﺩ ﻝﻲ ﻤﻥ ﻏﻴﺭﻫﺎ ،ﻫﻲ ﺍﻵﻵﻡ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺍﻋﺘﺩﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻬـﺎ ،ﺘﺭﻜـﺕ ﺍﻝﺸﻘﺎﺀ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ﻭﻻ ﺃﻨﻭﻱ ﻝﻘﺎﺀﻩ...
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ﻲ؟ ﺘﺯﺩﺍﺩ ﺒﺎﻝﻘﺭﺏ ﻤﻨﻙ ﻭﺭﺅﻴﺎﻙ ،ﻻ ﻤﺎﻝﻙ ﻴﺎ ﻤﻠﻴﺤﺔ ﺘﺸﻌﻠﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺭ ﻓ ﺘﻨﻬﺯﻤﻲ ،ﻻ ﺘﻨﺯﻝﻲ ﺭﺃﺴﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻭﻻ ﺘﺴﻘﻁﻲ ،ﻓﻠﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻴﻭﻤﺎ ﺒـﻙ ﺃﺒﺩﺍ ﺩﺍﺀ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﻌﺫﺒﻙ ﻭﻴﻜﺴﺭ ﺨﺎﻁﺭﻙ ...ﻴﺎ ﺠﻤﻴﻠﺔ ﺍﻝﺜﻐـﺭ ﻫـل ﺃﺤﺯﻨﻙ؟ ﻴﺎ ﺤﺴﻨﺎﺀ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﺴﺎﺀ ﻭﻜﻠﻬﻥ ﻭﺼـﻴﻔﺎﺘﻙ ،ﻭﺒﻌـﺽ ﻤـﻨﻬﻥ ﻏﻴﻭﺭﺍﺕ ،ﻋﻴﻨﺎﻱ ﻷﺠﻠﻙ ،ﻓﺩﺍﺀ ﺤﺴﻨﻙ ،ﻭﻏﻴﺭ ﺫﻝـﻙ ﻻ ﻴﻠﻴـﻕ ﺒـﻙ، ﻋﻴﻨﺎﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺃﻤﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﻨﺒﻊ ﺃﻓﺭﺍﺤﻲ ،ﻭﺃﻓﺭﺍﺤﻲ ﻨﻌﻤﺔ ﺤﻤﻠﺘﻨـﻲ ﺒﻔـﻀﺎﺌﻙ ﻭﻤﻌﻙ ﻭﺨﻠﻑ ﺍﻝﻜﻭﺍﻝﻴﺱ ﻏﹼﺭﺒﺎﻨﻲ ﻭﺃﻀﻌﻔﺎﻨﻲ ،ﻨﻌﻤﺔ ﻴـﺎ ﺼـﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﻀﺎﻋﺕ ...ﺜﻡ ﺃﻀﺎﻋﺘﻨﻲ ﻭﺭﻭﺤﻲ ﺘﺭﻜﺽ ﺨﻠﻔﻬﺎ ،ﺘﺸﻘﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺘﺒﻜﻴﻬـﺎ، ﺘﺘﺭﻜﻬﺎ ﻝﻠﻐﺭﻴﺏ ﻴﺩﻤﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﻔﺼﻴﺢ ﻴﻔﺯﻉ ،ﻴﻬﺭﺏ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ﻴﺭﻤﻴﻬﺎ ...ﺒﺎﺒﻙ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻭﺍﻨﺘﻅﺎﺭﻱ ﻝﺒﺎﺒل ،ﺃﻭﺭﺍﻗﻲ ﺃﺨﺫﻭﻫﺎ ﻤﻨﻲ ﻋﻨﻭﺓ ،ﻓﻨﺠﺎﻥ ﻗﻬﻭﺘﻲ ﺃﺸﺭﻴﻪ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺸﺎﺭﻉ ،ﻤﻘﻌﺩﻱ ﺍﻝﻬﺯﺍﺯ ﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﻓﺄﺓ ﻗﺎﺭﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴﻕ ،ﻴﺩﺍﻙ ﺒﺎﻷﻤﺱ ﻭﹺﺴﺎﺩﺘﻲ ﻭﺴﺎﺩﺘﻲ ﻭﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺘﺤﺕ ﺍﻝﺠﺴﻭﺭ ﺘﺘﺨﻁﻔﻨـﻲ ﺍﻝﻤـﺎﺭﺓ، ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺭﻗﺔ ﺍﻝﺴﻜﺎﺭﻯ ...ﻭﺃﻨﻬﻙ ،ﻴﺨﻁﻔﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﻭﻡ ﻭﺃﻀـﻊ ﺭﺃﺴـﻲ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﻗﻭﺍﺭﻴﺭ ﺯﺠﺎﺝ ﺨﻤﻭﺭﻫﻡ ﺍﻝﻔﺎﺭﻏﺔ ﺘﺩﻤﻴﻨﻲ ...ﻭﺃﺼﺤﻭ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺫﻜـﺭﺍﻙ، ﻓﺄﺼﺭﺥ ﺃﻨﺎﺩﻴﻙ ...ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ،ﺒﺎﻗﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻋﻬﺩﻙ ﻭﺃﻋﺘﺭﻑ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻋﺭﻓـﺕ ﺍﻷﻤﺎﻥ ﺒﻴﻥ ﻨﻬﺩﻴﻙ ﻭﺘﺤﺎﻝﻔﺕ ﻤﻊ ﺍﻝﺫﺌﺎﺏ ﻭﺃﻭﻗﻌﺕ ﻓﻲ ﻨﺤﺭﻙ.
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ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﺍﻝﺨﻴﺭ ﻴﺎ ﺤﻠﻭﺓ ،ﻜل ﺍﻝﺨﻴﺭ ،ﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﺍﻝﺨﻴﺭ ﻴﺎ ﻗﺩﻴـﺴﺔ ﻓـﻲ ﻤﻌﺒﺩﻱ ،ﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﺍﻝﺨﻴﺭ ﻴﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻋﻴﻭﻨﻬﺎ ﻨﺎﻤﺕ ﻤﻌـﻲ ﻭﺃﻏﻠﻘـﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻬـﺎ ﺠﻔﻭﻨﻲ ،ﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﺍﻝﺨﻴﺭ ﻴﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻪ ﻓﺘﺤﺕ ﻤﺩﺍﻤﻌﻲ ﻭﻏﻁﺎﺀﻩ ﺭﻤﻭﺸـﻲ، ﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﺍﻝﺨﻴﺭ ﻴﺎ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺃﻭﺼـﻠﺘﻨﻲ ﻝﻠـﺴﻨﺩ ﻭﺍﻝﻬﻨـﺩ ﻭﺒـﻼﺩ ﺍﻝـﺼﻔﺭ ﻭﻤﺭﺘﻔﻌﺎﺕ ﺘﻼﻤﺱ ﺍﻝﻐﻴﻭﻡ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺜﺭ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻤﺜﻠﻙ ﺘﻤﺸﻁ ﺸﻌﺭﻱ، ﺒﻴﺩﻫﺎ ﺘﻠﻌﺏ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺼﺩﺭﻱ ،ﻴﺎ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺍﻝﺴﻜﺭ ﺃﻨﺕ ،ﻴﺎ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺘﻜﺴﻭﻨﻲ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺃﻋﺭﻯ ،ﺘﺴﻨﺩﻨﻲ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺃﻋﺜﺭ ،ﺴﺘﺒﻘﻲ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ...ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺨﻠﻭﺩ ﻴﺎ ﺴﻜﺭﻴﺔ، ﻫﻨﺎ ...ﻋﻠﻰ ﺤﺎﻓﺔ ﻨﺎﻓﺫﺓ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ ﻨﻭﻤﻨﺎ ﺴﺘﺒﻘﻰ ﺸﻤﻭﻋﻨﺎ ﻭﻤﺩﺍﻤﻌﻨﺎ ﺼﺭﺡ ﻓﺭﺡ ،ﺘﻤﺜﺎل ﻴﺠﺴﺩ ﻝﺤﻥ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻨﺎ ،ﻫﺩﻭﺀ ﻋﻤﺭﻨﺎ ﻭﻀﺠﺔ ﻝﻴﺎﻝﻴﻨﺎ ﻨﺒﻌﻬـﺎ ﺍﻝﺼﻔﺎﺀ ﻭﺍﻻﻨﺴﻴﺎﺏ .ﺍﻝﻬﺭﺓ ﺘﺠﻠﺱ ﺘﺤﺕ ﺍﻝﻌﺭﻴﺵ ،ﻨﺠﺜﻭ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺭﻜﺒﻨـﺎ ﻜﻲ ﻨﻘﻁﻑ ﺍﻝﻌﻨﺏ ﻤﻥ ﺘﻭﻫﺠﻨﺎ. "ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺫﺍﻫﺒﺔ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﺒﺦ ﻭﺒﻌﺩ ﺩﻗﺎﺌﻕ ﺴﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻘﻬﻭﺓ ﺠـﺎﻫﺯﺓ" ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. ﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺍﺵ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﺤﻀﺭﺕ ﺍﻝﻘﻬﻭﺓ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﻘﺔ ﻗﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﺩﺍﻝﻴﺔ، ﻨﺎﺩﺘﻨﻲ ،ﻭﺃﺠﺒﺘﻬﺎ" :ﻫﺎ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻗﺎﺩﻡ" ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﺠﻠﺴﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻋﺘﺒﺔ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ، ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﺕ ﻤﻨﻲ ﻭﺠﻠﺴﺕ ﺇﻝﻲ ﻭﺒﻴﺩﻫﺎ ﺭﺴﺎﻝﺔ. 206
"ﺃﻭﻝﻡ ﺘﻨﺴﻴﻬﺎ؟ ﺃﺤﻠﻤﺕ ﺒﻬﺎ؟" "ﻻ ﺘﺒﺎﻝﻎ ...ﻫﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺭﻤﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﺼﺭ" ﺃﺨﺫﺕ ﺍﻝﺭﺴﺎﻝﺔ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ،ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﺒﻘﺭﺍﺀﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﺨﺒﺭ ﻏﻴـﺭ ﻤﻨﺘﻅـﺭ، ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻬﺎ ﻝﻭﻋﺔ. "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺭﺴﺎﻝﺔ؟ ﻭﻤﻥ ﺃﻱ ﺠﻬﺔ؟" ﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﺼﺎﻤﺘﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﺘﻤﻤﺕ ﻗﺭﺍﺀﺘﻬﺎ "ﺃﺘﻌﻠﻤﻴﻥ ﻤﺎ ﻤﻀﻤﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﺴﺎﻝﺔ؟" "ﺃﺨﺒﺭﻨﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ" "ﺇﻨﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺩﻱ" "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻴﺭﻴﺩﻭﻥ ﻤﻨﻙ؟ ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻴﺒﻌﺜﻭﻥ ﻝﻙ ﺒﺼﻭﺭﺓ ﺭﺴﻤﻴﺔ ،ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﻓـﻲ ﻤﻌﻅﻡ ﺍﻷﺤﻴﺎﻥ ﻋﻨﺩﻫﻡ؟" "ﺍﻝﺭﺴﺎﻝﺔ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺩﻱ ﻤﺒﺎﺸﺭﺓ ،ﺇﻨﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺘﺨﺏ ﺍﻝﻭﻁﻨﻲ" "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻴﺭﻴﺩﻭﻥ؟" "ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻜﻴﻑ ﺃﺒﺩﺃ ﻝﻜﻲ!"
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"ﺘﻜﻠﻡ ...ﻫﻴﺎ ،ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻻ ﺘﺘﺤﺩﺙ؟" "ﻴﺎ ﻓﺭﺤ ﹰﺔ ﻝﻴﺘﻨﻲ ﺃﺤﺴﻬﺎ!" "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ؟ ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﻘﻭل ﻫﻜﺫﺍ؟ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺭﺴﺎﻝﺔ؟ ﻗل ﻝﻲ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻭﻻ ﺘﺯﺩ ﻤﻥ ﻗﻠﻘﻲ" "ﺴﻴﺒﺩﺃ ﺤﺩﺙ ﺭﻴﺎﻀﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﺭﺝ" ﻨﻘﻠﺕ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺨﺒﺭ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺠﺭﺅ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ! "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺒـﻙ؟ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺘﻘﺒﻼ ﻤﻨﻙ ﻝﻠﻔﻜﺭﺓ ،ﻫل ﻫﺫﺍ ﺼﺤﻴﺢ؟" "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﺇﻨﻬﺎ ﻓﺭﺼﺔ ﻝﻥ ﺘﺘﺎﺡ ﻝﻲ ﻤـﺭﺓ ﺃﺨـﺭﻯ ،ﻓﻠﻨـﺫﻫﺏ ﻏـﺩﺍ ﻝﻼﺴﺘﻔﺴﺎﺭ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﻀﻭﻉ" "ﻻ ...ﻻ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﻤﻌﻙ" "ﺭﺍﻓﻘﻴﻨﻲ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻓﻬﺫﺍ ﺤﻠﻤﻲ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻨﻲ ﻤﻌﻲ ،ﻓﺄﻨـﺎ ﺒـﻙ ﺃﺤﻴﺎ ﻭﻨﺠﺎﺤﻲ ﺩﻭﻨﻙ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻝﻪ ﻤﻌﻨﻰ .ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺴﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﻴﻨﺔ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻨﻁﻤﺌﻥ ،ﺃﻭﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﻜﻼﻤﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﻤﺱ؟" "ﻨﻌﻡ ﺴﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻗﻠﻴل ،ﺴﻨﺸﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﻘﻬﻭﺓ ﻭﻨﺨﺭﺝ ،ﺴﻨﺒﺩﺃ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﺏ" ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. 208
ﺍﻨﺘﺎﺒﺘﻨﺎ ﻝﺤﻅﺔ ﺼﻤﺕ ﻏﺎﻤﻀﺔ ،ﺸﺭﺒﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻘﻬﻭﺓ ،ﺸﺭﺒﺕ ﻓﻨﺠﺎﻥ ﻭﺍﺤﺩ ﻜﺎﻝﻌﺎﺩﺓ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻜﻤﻠﺕ ﺍﻝﺜﺎﻝﺙ ،ﺩﺨﻠﺕ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺨﻠﻑ ﻭﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﻋﺎﺩﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺒﻐﻀﺒﻬﺎ ...ﻓﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺨﺒﺭ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻏﻴـﺭ ﺘـﺼﺭﻓﻬﺎ ﻝﺸﻜل ﺁﺨﺭ ،ﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﺴﺄﺠﻬﺯ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻝﻨﺫﻫﺏ" ﻝﺤﻘﺕ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻜﻲ ﺃﺴﺘﻌﺩ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻷﺨﺭ ،ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﺃﻝﺒﺱ ﻭﻫﻲ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ،ﺃﻻﺤﻘﻬﺎ ﺒﻨﻅﺭﺍﺘﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﺜﻨﺎﺀ ،ﺘﺘﺠﺎﻫﻠﻨﻲ ،ﻻ ﺘﺒﺎﺩﻝﻨﻲ ﺇﻴﺎﻫﺎ ﻭﻻ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺒﻐﻀﺏ ﺃﻭ ﻋﺘﺏ. "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﺴﺘﺒﻘﻴﻥ ﺍﻷﺤﺩﺍﺙ؟ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻗﺩﻡ ﻏﺩﺍ ﻝﻼﺘﺤﺎﺩ ﻁﻠـﺏ ﻋﻁﻑ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ،ﻜﻲ ﺘﺭﺍﻓﻘﻴﻨﻨﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﻔﺭ!" "ﻝﺘﻘﺩﻴﻡ ﻁﻠﺏ ﻋﻁﻑ !...ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﻌﻲ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺴﻔﺭﻙ ﻭﺤﺩﻙ ،ﻭﺃﻏﻠﺏ ﺍﻝﺸﻙ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺭﻓﺽ ﻁﻠﺒﻙ ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﻌﻠﻡ ﻫﺫﺍ ،ﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺨﺎﺭﺝ ﻤﺸﺎﺭﻴﻌﻙ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺘﻘﺒﻠﻴﺔ ،ﻝﻴﺱ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻓﻘﻁ ،ﻻ ﺒل ﻁﻔﻠﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻝﻡ ﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﺒﻌﺩ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋـﺩ ﻭﺤﺩﻱ ﻤﻌﻙ ،ﻤﺼﻴﺭﻱ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻌﺩ ﻭﺤﺩﻩ ﻤﻌﻙ ،ﻓﻨﺤﻥ ﻨﻨﺘﻅﺭ ﻁﻔﻼ" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺵ ﻓﻲ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ﻜﺎﻤﻠﺔ ﺇﻻ ﻤﻌﻙ ،ﻫل ﺘﻌﺘﻘﺩﻴﻥ ﺃﻨـﻲ ﺴﺄﺘﻨﺎﺯل ﻋﻨﻙ ﺘﺤﺕ ﺃﻱ ﻅﺭﻑ ﺃﻭ ﻝﺸﻬﺭﺓ؟ ﻻ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻤﺨﻁﺌﺔ، ﺴﺄﺤﺎﺭﺏ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﻜﻭﻨﻲ ﻤﻌﻲ ﻭﻝﻥ ﺃﺘﻨﺎﺯل ﺘﺤﺕ ﻜل ﺍﻝﻀﻐﻭﻁ"
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"ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ ﻻ ﺘﻜﻠﻤﻨﻲ ﺒﻬﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﻀﻭﻉ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﺤﺒﻁﺔ ﻝﺩﺭﺠﺔ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝﺴﺕ ﻤﺴﺘﻌﺩﺓ ﻝﺴﻤﺎﻉ ﺃﻱ ﺸﻲﺀ ،ﺩﻋﻨﺎ ﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﺍﻵﻥ ،ﻓﺄﻨـﺎ ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﺸﻕ ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﺒﻬﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺼﺒﺎﺡ" "ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ ﺃﻨﺕ ،ﻻ ﺘﻘﻭﻝﻲ ﻫﺫﺍ ،ﺃﺭﻴـﺩﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜـﻭﻨﻲ ﻝـﻲ ﺴـﻨﺩﺍ ﻭﺘﺴﺎﻋﺩﻴﻨﻨﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﺘﺨﺎﺫ ﻗﺭﺍﺭﻱ ﻻ ﺍﻝﻌﻜﺱ ،ﻓﻬﺫﺍ ﺍﻷﻤﺭ ﻝﻴﺱ ﺴـﻬﻼ ﻲ ﻜﻤﺎ ﺘﺘﺼﻭﺭﻴﻥ" ﻋﻠ ﺨﺭﺠﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﻭﺠﻬﺘﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﻴﻨﺔ ،ﺍﺴﺘﺒﺩﻝﻨﺎ ﻓﺭﺤ ﹰﺔ ﺒﻭﺠﻭﻡ ﻭﺨﻭﻑ ﻤﻨﺘﻅﺭ ،ﺨﻴﻡ ﺍﻝﺴﻜﻭﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻨﺎ ﻁﻴﻠﺔ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴﻕ ،ﻭﺒﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﻋﺩﻡ ﺭﻀﺎ ﻋﻥ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻭﺸﻲﺀ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻜﻥ ﺃﺘﻭﻗﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺸﺎﺭﻜﻨﻲ ﻓﺭﺤـ ﹰﺔ ﻜﺒﻴـﺭﺓ ﺒﺎﻝﺨﺒﺭ ﻝﻌﻠﻤﻲ ﺒﺭﻓﻀﻬﺎ ،ﺘﻤﻨﻴﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺘﻔﻬﻡ ﻭﻀﻌﻲ ﻤﺜل ﺘﻘﺩﻴﺭﻱ ﻝﻬـﺎ، ﻓﻭﺤﺩﺘﻬﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﻜﺒﺭ ﻤﻥ ﻏﺭﺒﺘﻲ ،ﻭﻻ ﺤﺯﻨﻬﺎ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ﻤﻨﻲ ،ﻝﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺩﻤﻌﻬﺎ ﺃﻏﺯﺭ ...ﻭﻻ ﺴﻔﻨﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺤﻴﻁ ﺃﻗﻭﻯ ﻭﺃﺒﺤﺭ. ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻋﻴﺎﺩﺓ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﺏ ...ﻜﻠﻴﻨﺎ ﻴﻌﻴﺵ ﻤﻊ ﻨﻔﺴﻪ ﺃﻭل ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﻴـﺔ، ﻋﺩﻡ ﺍﻝﺭﻀﺎ ﺒﺎﺩ ﻋﻠﻴﻨﺎ ﻭﺍﺤﻤﺭﺍﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﻴﻨﻴﻥ. ﺩﺨﻠﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻌﻴﺎﺩﺓ ،ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻭﺍﺠﻬﺔ ﻓﺘﺎﺓ ﺘﻨﻅﻡ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﺍﻋﻴﺩ ﻭﺘﺴﺘﻘﺒل ﺍﻝﻤﺭﻀﻰ، ﺴﺄﻝﺘﻬﺎ" :ﻫل ﺒﺎﻹﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻨﺩﺨل ﻝﻠﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﻤﻥ ﻏﻴﺭ ﻤﻭﻋﺩ؟"
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"ﺘﻔﻀﻼ ﻴﺎ ﺴﻴﺩﻱ ،ﻤﺎﺯﺍل ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﺒﺎﻜﺭ ﻭﺃﻨﺘﻡ ﺃﻭل ﺍﻝﻤﺭﻀﻰ ،ﺍﻨﺘﻅﺭﺍ ﻗﻠﻴﻼ ،ﻓﺎﻝﻁﺒﻴﺒﺔ ﻤﺎﺯﺍﻝﺕ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺤﻀﺭ ،ﻴﻤﻜﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺼل ﻓﻲ ﺃﻱ ﻝﺤﻅﺔ" "ﺍﺠﻠﺴﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻨﺤﻥ ﻤﺤﻅﻭﻅﻴﻥ ﻷﻨﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﻨﻨﺘﻅﺭ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ!" "ﻜل ﻫﺫﺍ ﻭﺘﻘﻭل ﺃﻨﻨﺎ ﻤﺤﻅﻭﻅﻴﻥ" ﺃﻭﻤﺄﺕ ﺒﺭﺃﺴﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺘﺘﻬﻜﻡ. ﺃﻤﺴﻜﺕ ﺒﻴﺩﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻻﻤﺴﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ ﺒﺤﺒﻲ ﺍﻝﻜﺒﻴﺭ ﻝﻬـﺎ ،ﺃﻁﺎﺭﺩﻫـﺎ، ﺃﺘﻘﺭﺏ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﻫﻲ ﺘﺭﻓﺽ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺒﺎﺩﻝﻨﻲ ﺇﻴﺎﻩ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺤﻴﺭﺓ ،ﺃﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻲ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺨﺘﻔﻲ ﻋﻥ ﻤﺭﻤﻰ ﺒﺼﺭﻱ ،ﻭﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻻ ﻴﺨﻔﻰ ﻋﻠ ﻭﻻ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﻅﺭ ﺤﺯﻨﻲ ،ﺇﺤﺒﺎﻁﻲ ،ﺃﻋـﻴﺵ ﺤﻴـﺭﺓ ﺃﻭﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋـﺭﻑ ﻨﻬﺎﻴﺘﻬﺎ. ﺩﺨﻠﺕ ﺴﻴﺩﺓ ﺃﻨﻴﻘﺔ ﺍﻝﻌﻴﺎﺩﺓ ﻭﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﺍﻝﺨﻴﺭ" ﻝﻡ ﺘﺘﻭﻗﻑ ،ﺍﺴﺘﻤﺭﺕ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺴﻴﺭﻫﺎ ﻝﻠﺩﺍﺨل ،ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﺒﺔ. "ﻫل ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺴﻴﺩﺓ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﺒﺔ؟" ﺴﺄل ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺍﻝﻤﻤﺭﻀﺔ. "ﻨﻌﻡ ،ﺇﻨﻬﺎ ﻫﻲ ،ﺴﺄﺩﺨل ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻭﺒﻌﺩ ﻗﻠﻴل ﺴﺄﺩﺨﻠﻜﻤﺎ" ﺩﺨﻠﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﻤﺭﻀﺔ ﺨﻠﻑ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﺒﺔ ﻭﻝﻡ ﺘﺒﻘﻰ ﺴﻭﻯ ﺜﻭﺍﻨﻲ ﻭﺨﺭﺠـﺕ، "ﺘﻔﻀﻼ" ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﻤﺭﻀﺔ. 211
ﺩﺨﻠﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ "ﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﺍﻝﺨﻴﺭ ﺴـﻴﺩﺘﻲ" ﺤﻴﻴﺘﻬـﺎ ،ﻭﻗﻔـﺕ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﺒـﺔ ﻭﺼﺎﻓﺤﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻫﻲ ﻝﻁﻴﻔﺔ ﺠﺩﺍ ﻭﺒﺸﻭﺸﺔ. "ﺍﺠﻠﺴﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻨﻲ ﺒﺨﻴﺭ ،ﺃﺨﺒﺭﻴﻨـﻲ ﻤـﻥ ﻤـﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﺸﻜﻴﻥ؟" ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﺒﺔ. "ﺍﻝﺤﻤﺩ ﷲ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺒﺨﻴﺭ ،ﺸﻜﺭﺍ ﺤﻀﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﺒﺔ ،ﺤﻘﻴﻘﺔ ﻻ ﺃﺸﻜﻭ ﻤـﻥ ﺸﻲﺀ ،ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺸﻙ!" "ﺸﻙ ﻤﻥ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ؟" "ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺤﺎﻤل!" "ﺃﻭﻻ ﻴﺴﻌﺩﻙ ﻫﺫﺍ؟" "ﺒﻠﻰ ،ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﻫﻭ ﺸﻌﻭﺭ ﻏﺭﻴﺏ ...ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺃﻗﻭل!" "ﺇﺫﺍ ﺴﻨﻘﻁﻊ ﺍﻝﺸﻙ ﺒﺎﻝﻴﻘﻴﻥ" ﺃﺠﻠﺴﺘﻨﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻜﺭﺴﻲ ﻏﺭﻴﺏ ﺍﻝـﺸﻜل ﻴﺜﻴـﺭ ﺒـﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﺸـﻌﻭﺭ ﺒﺎﻝﺨﻭﻑ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺯﻭﺭﻫﺎ. "ﻫل ﺘﺭﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﺒﻘﺎﺀ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻔﺤﺹ؟" ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﺒﺔ ﺴﺄﻝﺕ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ. 212
"ﻻ ...ﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﺨﺭﺝ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ ﺍﻻﻨﺘﻅﺎﺭ" ﺃﻤﺴﻜﺕ ﺒﻴﺩ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻭﻫـﻲ ﻤﻠﻘﺎﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﻌﺩ ﻭﻗﻠﺕ" :ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺴﺄﻨﺘﻅﺭﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﺭﺝ" ﻗﺒﻠﺕ ﻴﺩﻫﺎ ﺍﻝﻁﻔﻭﻝﻴﺔ ﻭﺸﺩﺩﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﺼﺎﺒﻌﻬﺎ ﻭﺨﺭﺠﺕ. ﻲ ﻭﻷﻭل ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺤﺱ ﺒﺎﻝﺤﺯﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺭﺠﻔـﺎﺕ ﺼﺎﺭﺕ ﺘﻨﻅﺭ ﻓﻲ ﻋﻴﻨ ﺃﻨﺎﻤﻠﻬﺎ ﻭﺘﺩﻭﻴﺭﺓ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺤﺩﺜﺔ ﺍﻝﺼﺎﻤﺘﺔ ،ﺃﻏﻠﻘﺕ ﺍﻝﺒـﺎﺏ ﺨﻠﻔـﻲ، ﺃﺨﻠﻑ ﻝﻤﺴﺔ ﻴﺩﻱ ﻭﺍﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺘﻲ ﺘﻭﺍﺴﻴﻬﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﻨﺘﻬﻲ ،ﺠﻠـﺴﺕ ﺍﻝﻌـﺏ ﺒﺄﺼﺎﺒﻌﻲ ،ﻤﺭﺘﺒﻙ ،ﻻ ﺃﻓﻬﻡ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ،ﺨﻠﻴﻁ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻷﻓﻜـﺎﺭ ﻴـﻀﻌﻔﻨﻲ، ﻴﺭﺒﻜﻨﻲ ،ﺃﺘﻭﻩ ﻓﻲ ﺫﺍﺘﻲ ،ﻻ ﺃﺠﺩ ﻝﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻨﻘﻁﺔ ﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ﺃﻨﻁﻠﻕ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ،ﻋﻠﻲ ﺃﻓﻬﻡ ،ﺃﺭﺸﺩ ﺭﻭﺤﻲ ،ﺤﻴﺭﺘﻲ ،ﻀﻴﺎﻋﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻠﺤﻅﺔ ،ﻤﺎ ﺯﻝـﺕ ﻓـﻲ ﻤﻜﺎﻨﻲ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻫﺎﺭﺏ ﻤﻨﻲ ...ﺨﺭﺠﺕ ﺒﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻝﻭﺠﻪ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺩﺨﻠـﺕ ﺒـﻪ، ﻭﻗﻔﺕ ،ﺤﻀﻭﺭﻫﺎ ﺃﺴﻌﻔﻨﻲ ،ﺍﻨﺘﺸﻠﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﻤﺴﺘﻨﻘﻌﻲ. "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ؟ ﺃﺨﺒﺭﻴﻨﻲ؟ ﻫل ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﺎ ﻴﺭﺍﻡ؟" "ﻜﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺸﻙ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺤﺎﻤل ﻤﻨﺫ ﺜﻼﺜﺔ ﺸﻬﻭﺭ" ﻀﻤﻤﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﻔﺭﺤﺔ ﻝـﻡ ﻲ ﺘﻜﻥ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺤﺒﻴﺏ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺭﻋﺎﻩ ...ﻝﻡ ﺘﺴﻜﻨﻪ ﻭﻝﻡ ﺘﺴﺠﺩ ﺸﻔﺘ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻓﺎﻩ. "ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﺘﻌﺒﺭﻴﻥ ﻋﻥ ﻓﺭﺤﺘﻙ ﺒﻁﻔﻠﻨﺎ؟"
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"ﺃﻱ ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺘﺘﻜﻠﻡ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ،ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﺤﺴﻤﺕ ﺃﻤﺭﻙ ،ﺴﺄﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﻊ ﺍﻝﻁﻔل ﻭﺤﺩﻱ ،ﻭﺘﻨﺘﻅﺭ ﻤﻨﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺭﻗﺹ ﻓﺭﺤﺎ! ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﺭﻴﺩﻩ؟" ﻱ ﻨﺤﻭﻱ ،ﺃﺩﺨﻠﺘﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺠﻴﺒﻲ ﻭﺭﻤﻴﺕ ﺒﺒﺼﺭﻱ ﺼﺎﺭﺕ ﺘﻨﺴﺤﺏ ﻴﺩﺍ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ،ﺨﺭﺠﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻌﻴﺎﺩﺓ ،ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻴﻌﺘـﺼﺭ ﺤﺯﻨـﺎ ...ﻝـﻡ ﺃﺭﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺴﺘﺒﻘﻪ .ﺃﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺒﺨﻁﺎﻫﺎ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ﻭﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺒﺎﺩﻝﻨﻲ ﺃﻱ ﻜﻠﻤﺔ ،ﻜﺭﻫﺘـﻪ ﻤﻌﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺘﻠﻙ ﺍﻝﻠﺤﻅﺔ. ﻓﻲ ﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﺍﻝﻌﻭﺩﺓ ﺨﻴﻡ ﻭﺠﻭﻡ ﻋﻠﻴﻨﺎ ،ﻭﺠﻭﻫﻨﺎ ﺘﺤﻤل ﺤﺯﻨـﺎ ﻝﻜـل ﻭﺍﺤﺩ ﻓﻴﻨﺎ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻁﺎﺒﻊ ﻭﺸﻜل ﺁﺨﺭ .ﺒﺩﺍ ﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﺍﻝﻌﻭﺩﺓ ﺃﺴﻬل ﻤﻥ ﺘﻭﻗﻌﻲ، ﺍﻨﻁﻭﻴﻨﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻨﻔﺴﻨﺎ ﻤﻌﺘﻜﻔﻴﻥ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻜﻼﻡ ﻭﺍﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺎﺕ ﺍﻷﻤـﺱ ،ﺒﻘﻴﻨـﺎ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ،ﻤﻀﻰ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ،ﻝﻴﺱ ﻜﺎﻷﻴﺎﻡ ﺍﻝﺘـﻲ ﻤﻀﺕ ...ﻋﺸﻨﺎﻩ ﻏﺭﺒﺎﺀ ،ﻭﻤﻨﺫ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﻏﺭﺒﺘﻨﺎ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﺨـﻴﻡ ﺍﻝﻅﻼﻡ ﻋﻠﻴﻨﺎ ،ﺒﻘﻴﻨﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﺀ ﻷﻭل ﻤﺭﺓ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺇﻀﺎﺀﺓ ﺍﻝﻨـﻭﺭ ﻭﻻ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺸﻤﻭﻋﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻌﺘﺎﺩﺓ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺩ ﺃﻁﻴﻕ ﺍﻝﻐﺭﺒﺔ ﺒﻴﻨﻨﺎ ،ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﺠﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﻨﻭﻡ ﻭﻷﻭل ﻤﺭﺓ ﻭﺤﺩﻱ ،ﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﻓﻲ ﻓﺭﺍﺸﻲ ﺃﻤﻌﻥ ﺴﻘﻑ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﺤﻀﺭﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻝﺒﺴﺕ ﺜﻭﺏ ﻨﻭﻤﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻌﺘﺎﺩ ﻭﻭﻀﻌﺕ ﻨﻔـﺴﻬﺎ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺠﺎﻨﺒﻲ ،ﺘﻌﺎﻨﻘﻨﺎ ﻷﻭل ﻤﺭﺓ ﻏﺭﺒﺎﺀ ،ﺒﻘﻴﻨﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺤﺎل ،ﻝﻡ ﻴﻐﻑ ﻝﻨﺎ ﺠﻔﻥ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺒﺯﻍ ﺍﻝﻔﺠﺭ ...ﻅل ﺍﻝﺩﺍﻝﻴﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﺴﻜﻭﺕ ﺨﻴﻡ ﻋﻠﻴﻨﺎ.
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ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﻷﺭﺘﺩﻱ ﺜﻴﺎﺒﻲ ،ﻗﻠـﺕ ﻝﺒﻐـﺩﺍﺩ" :ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘـﻲ ﺃﻻ ﺘﺭﻴـﺩﻴﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺠﻬﺯﻱ؟" "ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ؟ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﻤﻌﻙ ،ﺍﺫﻫﺏ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻭﺤﺩﻙ" ﻲ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ،ﻓﻬﺫﺍ ﻤﺴﺘﻘﺒﻠﻨﺎ!" "ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻻ ﺘﺼﻌﺒﻲ ﺍﻷﻤﺭ ﻋﻠ "ﻻ ﺘﻘل ﻤﺴﺘﻘﺒﻠﻨﺎ ،ﺇﻨﻪ ﻤﺴﺘﻘﺒﻠﻙ ﻭﺤﺩﻙ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﻌـﺭﻑ ﺃﻨـﻲ ﻀـﺩ ﺭﻴﺎﻀﺘﻙ ﻫﺫﻩ ﻓﻜﻴﻑ ﺒﻙ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺘﻁﻠﺏ ﻤﻨﻲ ﺸﻴﺌﺎﻥ ﺃﻨـﺎ ﻝـﻥ ﺃﺭﻀـﻰ ﻋﻨﻬﻤﺎ ،ﺍﻝﻤﻼﻜﻤﺔ ﻷﻥ ﻨﻬﺎﻴﺘﻙ ﺴﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﺨﻴﻤﺔ ،ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺒﺤﺎﺠﺔ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ، ﻭﺴﻔﺭﻙ ﻭﺒﻌﺩﻙ ﻋﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺇﺸﻌﺎﺭ ﺁﺨﺭ ،ﺍﻋﻠﻡ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ﻝـﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺴﻌﻴﺩﺓ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻤﺭﻙ" ﻲ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ﻭﺠﺭﺤﻨﻲ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺩ ﺃﺤﺘﻤل ﺴﻤﺎﻋﻬﺎ ،ﻜـل ﺃﺜﺭ ﻜﻼﻤﻬﺎ ﻓ ﺤﺭﻭﻓﻬﺎ ﺘﺅﺫﻴﻨﻲ ،ﺨﺭﺠﺕ ﻭﺒﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﺨﻠﻴﻁ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﻤـﺸﺎﻋﺭ ،ﻓﺭﺤـ ﹰﺔ ﺒﺎﻝﻁﻔل ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺘﻅﺭ ...ﻭﺍﻝﻔﺭﺍﻕ ،ﺴﺨﻁ ﻤﻥ ﺭﺩﻭﺩ ﺃﻓﻌﺎﻝﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺘﺎﻝﻴﺔ ﻭﺍﺤﺩﺓ ﺘﻠﻭ ﺍﻷﺨﺭﻯ.
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻤﻘﺭ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺘﺨﺏ ﻭﻗﻭﺒﻠﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝـﺴﺎﺩﺓ ﺍﻹﺩﺍﺭﻴـﻴﻥ ﺒﻜـل ﺘﺭﺤﻴﺏ ،ﺤﻔﺎﻭﺓ ﻭﺍﺤﺘﺭﺍﻡ ،ﻜﺎﻨﻭﺍ ﻓﺭﺤﻴﻥ ﺒﻲ ﺠﺩﺍ ﻭﻓﺨﻭﺭﻴﻥ ،ﻓﺴﻔﺭﻱ 216
ﺇﻝﻰ ﺩﻭﻝﺔ ﺃﺠﻨﺒﻴﺔ ﻷﻤﺜل ﺒﻠﺩﻱ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻋﺘﺯﺍﺯ ﻝـﻲ ﻭﺒـﻲ ﺒﺎﻝﺩﺭﺠـﺔ ﺍﻷﻭﻝﻰ ،ﻭﻝﻜﻥ ﻓﺭﺤﺘﻲ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ﺒﺎﻝﺩﺭﺠﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ. ﺃﻗﻴﻡ ﻝﻲ ﺤﻔل ﺴﻌﺩﺕ ﺒﻪ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ،ﺍﻝﺠﻤﻴﻊ ﻓﺨﻭﺭ ﺒـﻲ ﺘﻤﺎﻤـﺎ ﻤﺜـل ﻓﺭﺤﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺭﺃﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﻭﺠﻭﻫﻬﻡ ،ﺘﻜﺎﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻝﺘـﻲ ﺃﻋﻴـﺸﻬﺎ، ﺘﻤﻨﻴﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻤﻌﻲ ﻓﺭﺤ ﹰﺔ ﺒﻲ ﻭﻤﺜﻠﻲ ،ﻭﻝﻜﻨﻬﺎ ﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﺃﻤﻨﻴـﺔ، ﺍﻨﺘﻬﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﻔل ﻭﻝﻤﻠﻤﺕ ﺁﺨﺭ ﺍﻝﺘﻬﺎﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﻀﻭﺭ ﻭﻤﻨﻲ ،ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ،ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻓﺭﺤ ﹰﺔ ﺃﻋﻴﺸﻬﺎ ﻭﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻌﻴﺸﻬﺎ ﺒﻐـﺩﺍﺩ ﻤﻌـﻲ ،ﻜـل ﺍﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻡ ﻭﺘﻬﻨﺌﺎﺘﻬﻡ ﻝﻲ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﺘﻜﻔﻲ ﻷﻥ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﺒﻴﻨﻬﻡ، ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﻴﺭﺍﻓﻘﻨﻲ ﺃﺭﻕ ﻝﻘﺎﺌﻬﺎ ﻭﻋﻨﺎﺀﻩ ...ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺤـﺏ ﺒﻐـﺩﺍﺩ، ﺴﺄﺫﻫﺏ ﺩﻭﻨﻬﺎ ﻭﻝﻡ ﺘﺘﺯﻴﻥ ﻋﻴﻨﻲ ﺒﺘﻬﻨﺌﺔ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ. ﻭﺼﻠﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻜﻴﻑ ﺴﺄﺒﺩﺃ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﻤﻌﻬﺎ ،ﺃﻗﻭل ﻝﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ﻋﻥ ﺭﻭﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﺤﻔﻠﺔ؟ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺤﺔ؟ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻻﺴﺘﻘﺒﺎل؟ ﺃﻡ ﺃﺒﺩﺃ ﻤﻌﻬـﺎ ﺒﺩﻤﻭﻉ ﺍﻝﻔﺭﺍﻕ؟ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺩ ﺃﻋﻲ ...ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻘﺎﺒﻠﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﺭ ﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﺃﺘﺨﺫ ﻗﺭﺍﺭ ،ﺃﺤﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﻌﻴﺵ ﻤﻥ ﺩﻭﻨﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺤﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﺃﺭﻴـﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜـﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻁﻔل ﺒﻴﻥ ﻴﺩﻴﻨﺎ ،ﺃﺤﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻨﻬﺎﻴﺘﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺩﻭﻨﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺤﺒﻬﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺩﻋﻭﺕ ﺍﷲ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺄﺨﺫﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻪ ﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﺃﺒﺘﻌـﺩ ﻋﻨﻬـﺎ ،ﺃﺤﺒﻬـﺎ ﻭﺘﻤﻨﻴﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﻻ ﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ﻝﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﺼﺎﺭﺕ ﺒﺴﺎﻁﺎ ﻴﻨـﺴﺤﺏ ﻤﻥ ﺘﺤﺕ ﻗﺩﻤﺎﻱ. 217
ﻭﺼﻠﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ...ﺼﻤﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺠﻠﺴﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺸﻜل ﻭﺠﻨﺘﻴﻬـﺎ ﺼـﻭﺭﺓ ﺘﺠﺴﺩ ﺍﻝﻐﻀﺏ ﺍﻝﺒﺭﻜﺎﻨﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻬﺎ. "ﺃﺼﻤﺘﻲ ﻜﻤﺎ ﺘﺸﺎﺌﻴﻥ ﻭﻗﻭﻝﻲ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﺭﻴﺩﻴﻥ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ﻭﺃﻨﺸﺩﻩ ﻝـﻙ ﺸﻌﺭﺍ ،ﺃﻋﻴﺸﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻫﺩﺍﺒﻲ ،ﻓﻲ ﺍﻨﺤﻨﺎﺀﺓ ﺭﻴﺸﺘﻲ ،ﻓﺭﻴﺸﺘﻲ ﻤﻨﻙ ﺃﻨﺜﻭﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﺭﻋﺸﺎﺕ ﻨﺎﻋﻤﺔ .ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺍﺫﻫﺒﻲ ﺒﺸﻜﻭﺍﻙ ﺤﻴﺙ ﺸﺌﺕ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻭﺤﺩﻱ ﻤـﻥ ﺴﻴﺸﺎﺭﻜﻙ ﺇﻴﺎﻫﺎ ،ﺘﻤﻨﻴﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺸﺎﺭﻜﻴﻨﻲ ﻓﺭﺤﺘﻲ ﻭﻝـﻴﺱ ﻋـﺎﻝﻡ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﺸﻜﻭﻙ ﻭﺍﻝﻨﺯﺍﻉ ،ﻓﺭﺍﻗﻲ ﻝﻥ ﻴﻁﻭل ﻴﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ،ﺃﻨـﺕ ﻻ ﺘﺭﻴـﺩﻱ ﺍﻝﺫﻫﺎﺏ ﻤﻌﻲ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺸﺭﻴﻜﺘﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺸﻴﺎﺌﻲ ﻜﻠﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻘـﺩ ﺭﺠﻭﺘـﻙ ﻤﺭﺍﺭﺍ ﻭﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻨﻲ ﺭﻓﻴﻘﺔ ﺩﺭﺒﻲ ﻓﺄﻨﺕ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺭﻓﻴﻘﺘﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻤﻜﺎﻨﺎﺘﻲ ،ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ ﻝﻠﻤﺭﺓ ﺍﻷﺨﻴﺭﺓ ،ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ ﺃﺘﻤﻤﻲ ﻤﻌﻲ ﻤﺸﻭﺍﺭﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺒﺩﺃﻨﺎﻩ ﺴﻭﻴﺎ ،ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺴﻔﺭﻱ ﺴﺒﺏ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺤﺯﺍﻥ ﻨﺤﻥ ﺒﻐﻨﻰ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ...ﻨﺤﻥ ﻻ ﻨﺭﻴﺩﻫﺎ ،ﻭﺃﺘﻤﻨـﻰ ﺃﻥ ﻻ ﺘـﺄﺘﻲ .ﺃﻨـﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﻤﻥ ﻏﻴﺭﻙ ﺼﺒﺭﺍ ﻓﻠﻭﻻ ﺼﺤﺎﺌﻑ ﺘﺴﻠﻡ ﻤﻥ ﻗﻠﺒﻙ ﻝﺭﻭﺤﻲ ﺴﺭﺍ ﻭﺘﻠﻬﻤﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﻠﻭﻯ ﻝﻤﺎ ﺍﺴﺘﻁﻌﺕ ﺍﻝﻌﻴﺵ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ،ﺃﺤﺴﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻀﻠﻭﻉ ﻤﺒﺘﺴﻤ ﹰﺔ ﺘﺤﺩﺜﻴﻨﻨﻲ ،ﺘﻼﻤﺴﻴﻨﻨﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺭﻗﺔ ﺃﻴﻨﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺕ ،ﺘﻐﻠﻐﻠـﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺭﻭﺤﻲ ،ﻀﺤﻜﺎﺘﻙ ﺤﺩﻴﺩﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﻘﻭﻯ ﺤﻠﻭﺓ ،ﺒﺴﻤﺎﺘﻙ ﺫﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﺤـﻀﻭﺭ ﺘﺤﻴﻰ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺤﺸﺎﺌﻲ ﺒﺴﺎﺘﻴﻥ ﺨﻴﺭ ﺘﻨﺸﺭ ﺍﻝﺭﺤﻴﻕ ﻭﺍﻝـﺼﺤﻭﺓ ،ﻭﺠﻬـﻙ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺡ ﺯﺭﻉ ﻓﻲ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﺸﺫﺍ ﻭﻋﻁﺭﺍ ...ﺒﺭﺍﻋﻡ ﺤﺏ ﻭﻨـﺸﻭﺓ ،ﺤـﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﻭﺩﺍﻉ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ؟ ﺃﺫﻜﺭﻴﻨﻲ ﻭﺍﻜﺘﺒﻲ ﻝﻲ ،ﺴﺄﻜﻭﻥ ﻭﺤﻴـﺩﺍ ﻫﻨـﺎﻙ ﻓـﻼ 218
ﺘﻬﺠﺭﻴﻨﻲ ...ﺘﺩﻏﺩﻏﻨﻲ ﺍﻷﺤﻼﻡ ﻓﻲ ﻓﺭﺍﺸـﻨﺎ ،ﻤـﻀﺠﻌﻨﺎ ،ﺴﺄﻀـﻊ ﺼﻭﺭﺘﻙ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻭﺴﺎﺩﺓ ﺴﺄﺨﻀﺒﻬﺎ ﺩﻤﻌﺎ ﻭﺃﻏﺭﻗﻬﺎ ﺸﺠﻭﺍ ﻭﺸـﻜﻭﻯ... ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻏﺎﻀﺒﺔ ﺨﺎﺌﻔﺔ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ؟" ﺘﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻲ ﺒﻘﺴﻭﺓ ﻴﺼﻁﺤﺒﻬﺎ ﺨﻭﻓﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻐﺩ! "ﺜﻘﺘﻲ ﺒﺤﺒﻲ ﺍﻝﻜﺒﻴﺭ ﻝﻙ ،ﺒﺸﻌﺭﻙ ...ﺒﺄﻴﺎﻤﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺠﻤﻴﻠﺔ ﻓﻲ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﺒـﻴﻥ ﺃﻀﻠﻌﻲ ﻨﺎﺒﻀﺎ ﺒﻙ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﺴﺕ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﺘﺭﻙ ﻤﻥ ﻴﺤﺏ ﻝﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ﺃﻗﺼﻭﺼﺔ ﺘﺭﻭﻯ ،ﻤﺎﺯﺍل ﻋﻨﺩﻱ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺴﻭﺍﺒﻘﻲ ﺒﻘﻴﺔ ﺃﺨﻼﻕ ﻭﺸﻲﺀ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺘﻘﻭﻯ .ﻝﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻨﻲ ﻤﺎﻀﻲ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ "...ﻗﺎل ﺠﻨﺎﺡ. ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﺃﻋﻴﺸﻬﺎ ﻤﺎﻀﻲ ﺍﺒﺘﺩﺃ ﻤﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ،ﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﺘـﺫﻜﺭﻩ ﻜﻴـﻑ ﻜﺎﻥ ،ﻜﻴﻑ ﺒﻨﻴﻨﺎ ﻷﻨﻔﺴﻨﺎ ﺤﺩﺍﺌﻕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﻨﺎﻥ ،ﺤﺩﺍﺌﻕ ﻝﻡ ﻨﺭﺍﻫـﺎ ﻓـﻲ ﺃﻤﺎﻨﻴﻨﺎ ،ﻜﻨﺎ ﻀﻴﺎﺀ ،ﺼﺭﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻜﺎﻝﺘﺭﺍﺙ ﻭﺍﻝﺒﻨﺎﻥ ،ﻭﺤـﺩﻴﺜﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻴـﻭﻡ ﻜﺎﻥ ...ﺼﺎﺭﺕ ﺃﻴﺎﻤﻨﺎ ﻜﻤﺎ ﺴﻴﻘﻭل ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ﺩﺨﺎﻥ ،ﻫل ﺤﺒﻨﺎ ﺠﺫﻉ ﻗﻭﻱ ﻴﻘﻑ ﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﻜل ﺍﻷﻋﺎﺼﻴﺭ؟ ﻫل ﻫﻭ ﺃﻗﻭﻯ ﻤﻥ ﺸﺠﺭ ﺍﻝﺴﻨﺩﻴﺎﻥ؟ ﺭﺴﻤﻨﺎ ﺒﺤﺒﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻠﻴﺎﻝﻲ ﻝﻭﻥ ﺁﺨﺭ ،ﺤﻴﺙ ﺨﻁﺎﻨﺎ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻨﺠﻭﻡ ،ﺍﻨﺩﻝﻊ ﺸﺫﺍﻨﺎ ،ﻨﺒﺘﺕ ﺃﺠﻤل ﻭﺭﺩﺓ ،ﺸﻬﺩ ﻅﻼﻡ ﺍﻝﻠﻴل ﻭﺒﺼﻭﺕ ﻤﺭﺘﻔﻊ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻜﻨﺎ ﻝﻪ ﺸﻤﻌﺩﺍﻥ ،ﺃﺼﺒﺢ ﺤﺒﻨﺎ ﻤﺎﻀﻲ ﺃﺤﻜﻴﻪ ﻭﺃﻋﻴﺵ ﻷﺠﻠﻪ ،ﺃﺴـﻌﺩ ﻋﻨـﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﺭﺤل ﺭﻭﺤﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺤﻴﺙ ﻜﻨﺎ ،ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻐﺭﻑ ﺸـﺒﻪ ﻋﺎﺭﻴـﺔ ﺘﻤﺸﻴﻥ. 219
"ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺘﺭﺍﺠﻊ ﻤﺎ ﺩﻤﺕ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻝﻥ ﺘﻌﺩل ...ﻴﺒﺩﻭ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻷﻤـﺭ ﺸﺎﺀﻙ ﺠﺩﺍ" ﺒﺩﺕ ﻋﻠﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﺩﻴﺔ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﻝﻲ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﺍﺘﺨﺫﺕ ﻗﺭﺍﺭﻫﺎ ...ﺨﻔـﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺴﺘﻘﻭﻝﻪ. "ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﻤﻥ ﺍﷲ ﺃﻥ ﻻ ﻴﻐﻴﺭ ﻗﺭﺍﺭﻙ ﺴﻴﺭ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻨﺎ!" ﺤﺩﺜﺘﻬﺎ ﺒـﺼﻭﺕ ﻤﺘﻘﻁﻊ ،ﻴﺭﺘﺠﻑ ،ﺒﻐﺼﺔ ﺘﺒﺘﻠﻊ ﻜﻠﻤﺎﺘﻲ. "ﻨﻌﻡ ﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺇﻴﺠﺎﺒﻴﺎ ﻤﺎ ﺩﺍﻡ ﻻ ﺴﺒﻴل ﺇﻻ ﺫﻝﻙ ،ﻝﻘﺩ ﺍﺘﺨﺫﺘﻪ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺘﻔﻜﻴﺭ ﻁﻭﻴل ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﺴﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﺴﺘﻌﺩﺍﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﻊ ﻁﻔل ﻭﺤﺩﻱ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺴـﻨﺩ، ﺃﻋﺎﺭﻙ ﺃﻴﺎﻤﺎ ﺃﺠﻬﻠﻬﺎ ،ﺘﻀﻌﻔﻨﻲ ،ﺘﻘﻠل ﻤﻥ ﻋﺯﻤﻲ ،ﻫﻨـﺎﻙ ﺸـﻴﺌﺎﻥ ﻻ ﺒﺩﻴل ﻝﻬﻤﺎ ﻋﻨﺩﻱ ،ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺨﺘﺎﺭ ﻁﻔﻠﻨﺎ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ،ﻭﺍﻷﺨﺭ ﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﺸـﺩ ﻲ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ﻤﻨﻙ" ﺃﻝﻤﺎ ﻋﹶﻠ "ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﺘﺤﺩﺜﺕ ﺒﻬﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﻀﻭﻉ ﻴﺯﺩﺍﺩ ﺨﻭﻓﻲ ...ﺃﺨﺒﺭﻴﻨﻲ ﻤﺎ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﺭﻴﺩﻴﻪ؟" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﺴﻘﻁ ﺍﻝﺠﻨﻴﻥ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺍﺨﺘﺭﺕ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺴﻔﺭ!" ﻨﻅﺭﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﻜﻼﻤﻬﺎ ﻭﺒﺤﺩﺓ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻬﺎ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ.
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"ﻻ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺼﺩﻕ ﻤﺎ ﺃﺴﻤﻊ!" ﻭﻗﻔﺕ ﻭﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺒﻤﻭﻀﻭﻋﻴﺔ ﺠﺎﻓﺔ" :ﻻ ،ﺒﻠﻰ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺴﻤﻌﺕ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﻋﺩل ﻋﻥ ﺃﻤﺭﻱ ﻤﺎ ﺩﻤﺕ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻤﺼﺭﺍ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺴﻔﺭ ،ﻫﺫﺍ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝـﺫﻱ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﺨﻭﺽ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﻋﺩل ﻋﻨﻪ!" "ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻜﻴﻑ ﺴﻤﺤﺕ ﻝﻨﻔﺴﻙ ﺒﻔﻌل ﺸﻲﺀ ﻜﻬﺫﺍ ،ﺃﺘﺭﻴﺩﻴﻥ ﻗﺘـل ﻁﻔﻠﻨﺎ؟ ﻻ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺒﻬﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻘﺴﻭﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺭﺍﻫﺎ ﺍﻵﻥ ،ﺍﻨﻙ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻻ ﻴﻤﻜﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﺤﺒﻬﺎ" "ﺒﻠﻰ ...ﺒﻠﻰ ،ﺇﻨﻬﺎ ﻫﻲ ،ﻝﻜﻨﻙ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻝﺴﺕ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺭﺠل ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻁﺎﻝﻤـﺎ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ ،ﺘﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺫﻫﺏ ﻭﺘﺘﺭﻜﻨﻲ ﻷﻴﺎﻡ ﻻ ﺃﻋـﺭﻑ ﻤـﺎﺫﺍ ﺴـﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﺼﻴﺭﻱ ﺒﻬﺎ ،ﺘﻁﻠﺏ ﻤﻨﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﺎﻨﻘﻙ ﻓﺭﺤ ﹰﺔ ﺒﻐـﺩ ﻻ ﺃﻋـﺭﻑ ﻋﻨـﻪ ﺸﻲﺀ ،ﺴﺄﻜﻭﻥ ﻭﺤﻴﺩﺓ ،ﺃﻫﺫﺍ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﺭﻴﺩ؟" "ﺍﻝﻜﻼﻡ ﻤﻌﻙ ﻻ ﻴﻁﺎﻕ ﻓﻌﻼ ،ﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻗﻠﺕ! ﻗﺩ ﺨﺎﺏ ﺃﻤﻠﻲ ﺒﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﻜﻥ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺴﺘﺼﻠﻴﻥ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺤﻠﺔ" ﻁﺎل ﺍﻝﻜﻼﻡ ﺒﻴﻨﻨﺎ ،ﻭﺼﻭﺘﻨﺎ ﺍﺭﺘﻔﻊ ،ﺨﺭﺠﺕ ﺃﺭﻓﺽ ﻤﺘﺎﺒﻌﺔ ﺍﻝﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﻓﻲ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﻀﻭﻉ ﻝﻤﺎ ﺃﺼﺎﺒﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺇﺤﺒﺎﻁ ،ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺒﻌﻴﺩﺍ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ، ﺃﺴﻴﺭ ﺩﻭﻥ ﻫﺩﻑ ﻻ ﺃﻋﻠﻡ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻴﻥ ...ﺤﺯﻥ ﻴﻌﺘﺼﺭﻨﻲ ،ﺃﻴﻥ ﺫﻫﺒـﺕ 221
ﺍﻝﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭ ...ﺨﺴﺎﺭﺓ! ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻱ ﺸﻲ ﺁﻝﺕ ﺍﻻﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺎﺕ؟ ﺃﻴﻥ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﺨﺘﺒﺊ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻭﺠﻪ؟ "ﺃﻫﺫﺍ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ؟ ﻫل ﻫﺫﺍ ﻜﻼﻤﻙ؟ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﻤﻭﺕ ﻴﻭﻤـﺎ ،ﻝﻜﻨـﻲ ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻨﻲ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻗﺎﺘﻠﺘﻲ ،ﻗﺎﺘﻠﺔ ﻜﺒﺭﻴﺎﺌﻲ ،ﺃﻫﺫﺍ ﺠﺯﺍﺀ ﺤﺒـﻲ ﻴـﺎ ﺠﺎﻫﻠﺔ؟ ﺃﻋﻁﻴﺘﻙ ﻜل ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ،ﻭﺸﻲﺀ ﻻ ﻴﻌﻁﻰ ،ﻫﺎ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﻘﺘﻠﻴﻨـﻲ ﻴـﺎ ﺭﺨﻴﺼﺔ ﺍﻝﻌﺸﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﻷﺸﻭﺍﻕ ،ﻫل ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺒﻨﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺭﻤﺎﺩ ،ﺭﻤل ﺒﺤـﺎﺭ ﻭﻓﻨﺎﺀ؟ ﺃﻜل ﻫﺫﺍ ﺩﺨﺎﻥ؟ ﻋﻁﺭﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ...ﺭﺍﺌﺤﺘﻙ ﺃﺠﻤل ﻋﻁﺭﻱ، ﺸﻌﺭﻙ ﺸﻼﻻ ﻓﻲ ﺭﺒﻴﻊ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ،ﻋﻴﻨﺎﻙ ﺍﻷﻨﺜـﻭﻴﺘﻴﻥ ﺃﺠﻤـل ﻨﺠـﻭﻡ ﺴﻤﺎﺌﻲ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻋﻨﺩﻙ ﻻ ﺸﻲﺀ! ﺍﺒﺘﻌـﺩﻱ ﻋﻨـﻲ ﻭﻻ ﺘﻼﻤـﺴﻴﻨﻲ، ﺴﺄﻜﻭﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ﻗﺭﻴﺒﺎ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﻝﻜﻥ ﺭﻭﺤﻲ ﻫﻴﻬﺎﺕ ﻗﺩ ﺒﻌـﺩﺕ ،ﻗـﺩ ﻲ! ﻻ ﺘﻠﻤﺴﻴﻨﻲ ،ﻝﻘﺩ ﺃﺘﺭﺍﺠﻊ ﻭﻝﻜﻨﻲ ﻻ ﺃﻋﻠﻡ! ﻫل ﺴﺘﺭﺠﻌﻲ ﻝﺤﺒﻲ ﻭﺇﻝ ﺨﺫﻝﺘﻨﻲ ﻭﺤﺭﻤﺘﻨﻲ ...ﺴﺄﺼﻠﻲ ﻝﻙ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﺭﺠﻌﻲ ﺇﻝﻲ ﺒـﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻘﻠـﺏ، ﺃﻜﻨﺕ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﻠﻡ؟ ﻫل ﻁﺒﻌﻙ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﻋﻡ ﺃﻜﺫﻭﺒﺔ؟ ﺘﺭﻴﺩﻴﻥ ﻗﺘل ﻁﻔﻠﻲ ﻭﻗﺘﻠﻲ ﻴﺎ ﻗﺎﺘﻠﺔ؟ ﺸﻜﺭﺍ ﻴﺎ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺘﻲ ...ﺃﺘﻤﻨﻰ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺨﻠﻕ" ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﻗﺭﺭﺕ ﻭﺤﺯﻨﻲ ﺴﻴﺴﻌﺩﻫﺎ ،ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺘﻜﺎﺜﺭﺕ ﺃﺤﺯﺍﻨـﻲ ﻭﺘﻭﺍﻝﺩﺕ .ﻜﺸﻔﺕ ﻝﻲ ﻋﻥ ﻭﺠﻬﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻪ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺴﺎﻓﺭ ...ﻝﻥ ﺃﺤﺯﻥ ﻷﻨﻲ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺤﻘﻕ ﺤﻠﻤﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻜﻭﻤﺔ ﺃﺤﻼﻤﻲ ...ﻝﻥ ﺃﺴﻌﺩ ،ﻝﻥ ﺃﻜﺫﺏ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ،ﺴﺄﺭﻯ ﻤﺎ ﻴﺭﻯ ﻭﺃﻗﻭل ﻤﺎ ﻴﺠﺏ. 222
ﺩﺨﻠﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﺸﺎﺤﺒﺎ ﻜﺌﻴﺒﺎ ﻭﻗﻠﺕ" :ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺴـﻤﺢ ﻝـﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻘﺘﻠـﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﻨﻴﻥ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺴﺎﻓﺭ!" ﻭﻗﻔﺕ ﻓﺭﺤ ﹰﺔ ﻭﻗﺎﻝﺕ" :ﺤﻘﺎ؟ ﺴﺘﺒﻘﻰ ﻤﻌﻲ؟" "ﻨﻌﻡ ﺴﺄﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﻌﻜﻤﺎ" ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﺘﺤﻜﻲ ﻝﻲ ﻜﻴﻑ ﺴﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﺠﻤﻴﻠﺔ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺼﻐﻲ ﻝﻬﺎ ،ﻫل ﻴﻤﻜﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺘل ﻤﻨﻘﺫﺍ؟ ﻫل ﻴﺫﻫﺏ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺘل ﻝﻴﻘﺘل ﻭﻴﺠـﺩ ﻤﻥ ﻴﺭﻴﺩ ﻗﺘﻠﻪ ﻤﺼﺎﺏ ﻭﻴﻨﻘﺫﻩ؟ ﻴﺴﺎﻋﺩﻩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﺓ؟ ﻫﻭ ﻴﺭﻴﺩ ﻗﺘﻠﻪ ﻻ ﺇﻨﻘﺎﺫﻩ! ﻜﻴﻑ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺀ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ؟ ﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﻋﻴﺵ ﻤﺘﺎﻫﺔ ﻤﻌﻬﺎ ،ﻜﻴـﻑ ﺃﺤﺏ ﻭﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺃﻱ ﻨﻭﻉ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺘﻀﺤﻴﺔ؟ ﻜﻴﻑ ﺃﺤﺏ ﻭﻝﻡ ﺃﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺼﺒﺭ؟ ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻜﻭﻥ ﻤـﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺸﺨﺹ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻜﺎﻥ ،ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺒﻘﻰ ﻓـﻲ ﺃﻤﻨﻴـﺎﺘﻲ ،ﺃﻭ ﺃﺭﺴﻡ ﺃﻝﻭﺍﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﺠﻬﻲ ...ﻴﺅﺴﻔﻨﻲ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺍﻝﻌﻴﺵ ﻤﻌﻬـﺎ ﻭﻜﺄﻥ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ،ﻓﺎﻝﺸﻕ ﻓﻲ ﻗﻠﺏ ﺍﻝﻘﺎﺭﻭﺭﺓ ...ﻷﻭل ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺭﺩﻨـﺎ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺃﻥ ﻨﻜﻭﻥ ﻭﺍﻗﻌﻴﻴﻥ ﺫﻫﺏ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻓﻲ ﻝﺤﻅﺔ ﺴﺭﻴﻌﺔ ﺃﺴـﺭﻉ ﻤـﻥ ﺘﻭﻗﻌﻲ ،ﻓﻲ ﻝﺤﻅﺔ ﻭﻀﻌﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺯﻤﺎﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻭل ﺍﺨﺘﺒﺎﺭ ،ﺃﻋﻠﻨـﺕ ﻋـﺩﻡ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﺭﺓ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻱ ﻤﺤﺎﻭﻝﺔ ﻹﻨﻘﺎﺫﻩ ،ﺘﻨﺎﺯﻝﺕ ...ﺘﻐﻴﺭﺕ ﺃﺴﺭﻉ ﻤﻥ ﺍﺨﺘﻴﺎﺭ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺘﺴﺘﺒﺩل ﺴﺘﺎﺭﺓ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ ﻨﻭﻤﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﻠﻡ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻓﻲ ﺒﻭﺭﺼـﺘﻬﺎ ﺭﺨﻴﺹ ،ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﺒﻤﻨﻁﻘﻬﺎ ﻤﺜل ﺍﺴﻁﻭﺍﻨﺔ ﻤﻭﺴﻴﻘﻴﺔ ،ﻤﺘـﻰ ﺃﺤﺒـﺕ ﺴﻤﻌﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ ﺘﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺘﻠﻔﺎﺯ. 223
ﻝﻡ ﺘﻌﺩ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﺒﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﺭﻭﻨﻕ ﻭﺍﻝﻌﺒﻕ ،ﺃﺼﺒﺢ ﺍﻝﻭﻀﻊ ﻻ ﻴﻁﺎﻕ ،ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻨﻨﺎ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺸﻬﺭﻴﻥ ﻗﺭﺭﻨﺎ ﺍﻻﻨﻔﺼﺎل ﻝﻤﺩﺓ ﻗﺼﻴﺭﺓ. "ﻗﺩ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ ﺇﺭﻫﺎﻕ ﻋﺼﺒﻲ ﻋﻨﺩﻨﺎ ،ﺩﻋﻨﺎ ﻨﻨﻔـﺼل ﻝﺒـﻀﻌﺔ ﺃﺸﻬﺭ!" ﻗﺎﻝﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ. "ﻨﻌﻡ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﻗﺩ ﺘﻜﻭﻨﻲ ﻤﺤﻘﺔ!" ﻓﻲ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻴﻘﻴﻥ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺍﻻﻨﻔﺼﺎل ﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﻁﻭل ،ﻭﺍﻨﻔـﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﻓﻌـﻼ، ﻋﺸﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺘﻠﻙ ﺍﻝﻔﺘﺭﺓ ﺒﺩﻭﺍﻤﺔ ﺘﻨﻬﻜﻨﻲ ﻜل ﻴﻭﻡ .ﺒﻌﺩ ﺜﻼﺜﺔ ﺃﺴﺎﺒﻴﻊ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻨﻔﺼﺎﻝﻨﺎ ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ،ﻅﻨﻨﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺍﺴﺘﻘﺒﺎﻝﻬﺎ ﻝﻲ ﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺤﺎﺭﺍ! ﻓﻭﺠﺌﺕ ﺒﺩﻻ ﻤﻥ ﺍﺴﺘﻘﺒﺎل ﺘﻤﻨﻴﺘﻪ ﺒﺭﺩﻫﺎ" :ﺃﻨﺎ ﺒﺤﺎﺠﺔ ﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ،ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻨـﻙ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺒﺤﺎﺠﺔ ﻝﻪ!" ﻓﻲ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﻏﻀﺏ ﻭﺫلٌ ﻝﻭ ﺯﻓﺭﺕ ﻭﻗﺘﻬﺎ ﻝﺤﺭﻗﺕ ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﺤﻭﻝﻲ. "ﺒﻠﻰ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﻤﺤﻘﺔ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﺒﺤﺎﺠﺔ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻭﻗﺕ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ،ﻝﻜﻨﻲ ...ﺇﻨﻲ"... "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺒﻙ؟ ﻫل ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻤﺎ؟" "ﻻ ...ﻻ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ،ﻤﺎ ﺃﺭﺩﺕ ﻗﻭﻝﻪ ﻗﻠﺘﻪ"
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ﺃﻭﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﺎﺘﺒﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻁﺭﻴﻘﺔ ﺍﻻﺴﺘﻘﺒﺎل ،ﻝﻡ ﻴﻅﻬﺭ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﺸـﻭﻕﹲ ﺃﻭ ﺸﻭﻙ ،ﺃﻭ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻤﺼﺎﻓﺤﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺨﺩﻴﻬﺎ. "ﺃﻨﺎ ﺴﺄﺫﻫﺏ ﺍﻵﻥ ،ﻫل ﺘﺤﺘﺎﺠﻴﻥ ﻝﺸﻲﺀ ﻤﺎ؟" "ﻻ ،ﺸﻜﺭﺍ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﺴﺕ ﺒﺤﺎﺠﺔ ﻝﺸﻲﺀ ،ﻝﻜﻨﻲ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻗﻭل ﻝﻙ ﺃﻨـﻲ ﺴﺄﺘﺨﻠﺹ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﻤل ﻏﺩﺍ" ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺴﻤﻌﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺒﻨﺎﺭ ﺍﺸﺘﻌﻠﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺭﺃﺴﻲ. "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﻘﻭﻝﻴﻥ؟ ﺃﻝﻡ ﻨﺘﻔﻕ ﺒﺄﻥ ﻋﺩﻭﻝﻲ ﻤﺭﺘﺒﻁ ﺒﻘﺭﺍﺭﻙ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ؟" "ﻨﻌﻡ ،ﻗﺩ ﻗﻠﻨﺎ ﻫﺫﺍ ،ﻝﻜﻨﻲ ﺃﺤﺱ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻤﺎ ﺯﻝﺕ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻹﻨﺠﺎﺏ ﻭﺘﺤﻤل ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺅﻭﻝﻴﺔ" "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﻘﻭﻝﻴﻥ؟ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺘﺤﻤل ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺅﻭﻝﻴﺔ! ﺃﻫـﺫﺍ ﻫـﻭ ﺤﻠـﻡ ﺍﻷﻤﺱ؟" "ﺃﻨﺕ ﻻ ﺘﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺇﻻ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺤﺎﻝﻤﺎ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ!" ﻗﺎﻝﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﺘﻬﻜﻡ. "ﻻ ﺘﻘﻭﻝﻲ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ ...ﺃﻫﺫﺍ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺒﺎﻝﻨﺴﺒﺔ ﻝﻙ؟ ﺴﺄﻗﻭل ﻝﻙ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ،ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻁﻔل ﻫﻭ ﺤﻜﻤﺔ ﺇﻝﻬﻴﻪ ،ﻜﻲ ﻴـﺼﻠﺢ ﺍﻝﻜﺴﺭ ﺒﻴﻨﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﻴﺎﻡ ﺍﻷﺨﻴﺭﺓ ﻭﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺴﺒﺒﺎ ﻻﺴﺘﻤﺭﺍﺭﻴﺔ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﻜﻤـﺎ 225
ﻜﻨﺎ ...ﻝﻡ ﻴﻤﻀﻲ ﺍﻝﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻋﻥ ﻭﻝﻊ ﺍﻷﻤﺱ ﻭﺍﻝﻘﺒل ...ﺃﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺤﻠﻤﻨﺎ ﺒﺎﻷﻤﺱ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ؟" "ﺃﻝﻡ ﺃﻗل ﻝﻙ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺤﺎﻝﻡ !ﻻ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﻏﻴﺭ ﺭﺃﻴﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﻀﻭﻉ" "ﺇﺫﺍ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻝﻥ ﺘﺭﺍﺠﻌﻲ ﻨﻔﺴﻙ ﻓﻲ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﺨﻁﻭﺓ! ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺤﺎﻭل ﻤﻨﻌﻙ، ﺃﺸﻜﻭﻙ ﷲ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﻗﺎﺘﻠﺔ" "ﻗﺎﺘﻠﺔ ﻤﻥ؟" "ﻗﺎﺘﻠﺔ ﻁﻔﻠﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻝﻡ ﻴﺄﺘﻲ ﻝﻠﺩﻨﻴﺎ ﺒﻌﺩ ،ﻝﻥ ﺘﺭﻴﻨﻲ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨـﺭﻯ ﺇﺫﺍ ﻗﺘﻠﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺒﺒﻁﻨﻙ" ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺃﺠﺭ ﺫﻴﻭل ﺍﻝﺨﻴﺒﺔ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ...ﺁﺴﻑ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻋﻤﺭﻱ ﻤﻌﻬﺎ! ﻋﻠﻰ ﻜﺫﺒﺔ ﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﺴﻤﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﻤﺱ ﺤﺏ.
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ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﻲ ﺒﻤﺎ ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺃﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻥ ﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﺃﺩﻓﻥ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺃﺤﺯﺍﻨﻲ ،ﻀﺎﻗﺕ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻓ ﺭﺤﺒﺕ ،ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻏﻤﺎﻤﺔ ﺴﻭﺩﺍﺀ ،ﺸﺢ ﺠﻔﺎﻑ ...ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺭﺤﺔ ﺃﺠﻔﻬـﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﺭ ،ﻫل ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ،ﺴﻌﺎﺩﺘﻲ ،ﻓﺭﺤﺘﻲ ﻭﺤﺒﻲ ﻴﻭﻤﺎ ﻗﺼﻴﺭﺍ؟ ﺃﺭﻓﺽ ﻜل ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺴﻤﻊ ...ﻭﺃﺭﻜﺽ ﺨﻠﻑ ﻅﻨﻭﻨﻲ؟ ﻜﻼﻤﻙ ،ﻁﺒﻌـﻙ ﺼﺎﺭ ﻗﻭﻴﺎ ﺤﺎﺩﺍ ،ﺼﻠﺒﺎ ،ﻗﺎﺴﻴﺎ ،ﻋﻨﻴﻔﺎ ،ﺸﻲﺀ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻪ ﻤـﻥ ﻗﺒـل، ﻤﻨﻁﻘﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺘﺘﻜﻠﻡ ﺒﻪ ،ﻻ ﺍﻝﻐﺎﻨﻴﺎﺕ ﻭﻻ ﺴﻘﺭﺍﻁ ...ﺃﻴﻨﺘﻬﻲ ﻜل ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺒﻴﻨﻨﺎ؟ ﺃﻡ ﺍﻨﺘﻬﻰ ﻭﺍﻝﺘﻬﻤﺘﻪ ﺍﻝﺠﺭﺫﺍﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺯﻗﺔ ﺤﺎﺭﺘﻨﺎ؟
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ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻤﺴﺎﺀ ﺠﻤﻴل ﻭﻻ ﻋﺸﺎﺀ ﺭﻭﻤﺎﻨﺴﻲ ﻭﺸﻤﻭﻉ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐـﺩﺍﺩ، ﻝﻴﺱ ﻝﺤﻅﺔ ﻭﻻ ﻗﺒﻠﺔ ،ﻝﻴﺱ ﻤﻭﻋﺩ ﺒﺄﻁﺭﺍﻑ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﻴﻨﺔ ﺃﻭ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺃﻋﻠـﻰ ﻤﺭﺘﻔﻊ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻝﻴﻠﺔ ﻨﺒﻜﻲ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺃﻭ ﻨﻌﺸﻕ ،ﻭﻻ ﺩﻤﻭﻉ ﻓـﺭﺍﻕ ﻭﻻ ﺤﺭﻗﺔ ،ﻝﻴﺱ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﺃﻥ ﻨﻘﻀﻲ ﺃﻭﻗﺎﺕ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺓ ﺴﻭﻴﺎ ،ﺃﻭ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜـﻭﻥ ﺒﺭﻨﺎﻤﺠﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﺭﻴﺎﻀﻲ ﻤﺸﺘﺭﻙ ،ﻭﻻ ﻤﻭﺴﻡ ﺤﺼﺎﺩ ﺃﻭ ﻗﻁﺎﻑ ﺯﻴﺘـﻭﻥ، ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻝﻴﺱ ﺭﺤﻠﺔ ﺘﻨﺘﻬﻲ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻨﺼل ﻤﺩﺨل ﺍﻝﻘﺭﻴﺔ ﺃﻭ ﺴﻬﺭﺓ ﺘﻨﺘﻬـﻲ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺒﺯﻭﻍ ﺍﻝﻔﺠﺭ ،ﻭﻻ ﻓﻜﺭﺓ ﻨﺤﺭﺭﻫﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﻭﺭﺍﻕ ﺃﻭ ﻨﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻨﻬـﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻼﻫﻲ ﺍﻝﻠﻴﻠﺔ ،ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻨﺸﻭﺓ ﻨﺤﺴﻬﺎ ﺃﻭ ﺘﻌﺼﻑ ﺒﻨﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻋﻨﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻭﺘﺭﻤﻲ ﺒﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻘﺒﻭﺭ ،ﻝﻴﺱ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﺍﺨﺘﻴﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﻜـﻼﻡ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﻤﻕ ﺍﻝﻤﻠﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﺍﻗﻲ ،ﻭﻻ ﺒﺴﺎﻁﺔ ﻭﻋﻔﻭﻴﺔ ،ﻝﻴﺱ ﺠﻬل ﻭﻋﺩﻡ ﻓﻬـﻡ ﻭﺍﻁﻼﻉ ﻭﻻ ﺘﻤﻜﻥ ﻭﺴﻠﻁﺔ ،ﺃﻨﺎﻨﻴﺔ ﻭﺍﺴﺘﺒﺩﺍﺩ ،ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻗﻁﻌﺔ ﺃﺩﺒﻴﺔ ﻭﻻ ﻝﻭﺤﺔ ﺩﺍﻓﻨﺸﻲ ،ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻝﻴﺱ ﺍﻝﻜﻤﺎل ﻭﻻ ﺍﻝﺘﻔـﺭﺩ ،ﺍﻝﺘﻤﻴـﺯ ،ﻝـﻴﺱ ﺍﻝﻅﻬﻭﺭ ،ﺍﻹﺒﺩﺍﻉ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻝﺒﺭﻭﺯ ...ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻏﺭﺒﺔ ﺃﻭ ﻗﺭﺒﺔ ﻭﻻ ﻗﺭﻋﺔ ﻨﺒﻴﺫ ﺃﻭ ﺴﻴﺠﺎﺭﺓ ،ﻝﻴﺱ ﻋﻨﺎﻕ ﻭﻝﻬﻔﺔ ،ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻀﺤﻜﺎﺕ ﺭﺍﻗﺼﺔ ﺃﻭ ﺭﻗﺼﺎﺕ ﻀﺎﺤﻜﺔ ﻭﻻ ﺘﺒﺎﺩل ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭ ﺃﻭ ﻤﺸﺎﺭﻜﺎﺕ ،ﻝﻴﺱ ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﺘﻐﺭﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﻌﺼﺎﻓﻴﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﻘﻭل ﺃﻭ ﻝﻘﺎﺀﺍﺕ ﺒﺎﻝﺴﺭ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻷﺸﺠﺎﺭ ﻭﺨﻠﻑ ﺜﻜﻨـﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻌﺴﻜﺭ ﺍﻝﻤﻬﺠﻭﺭﺓ ﻭﻻ ﻓﺭﺤﺔ ﻝﻘﺎﺀ ﻭﻻ ﻝﻭﻋﺔ ،ﻝﻴﺱ ﻭﺤﺸﺔ ﻏﻴﺎﺏ ﻭﻻ ﺸﻭﻕ ﺒﻌﺎﺩ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺴﻁﻭﺭﺓ ﺃﻭ ﺨﺭﺍﻓﺔ ﻻ ﻨﻌﺭﻑ ﺤﻘﻴﻘﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻭﻫﻤﻬـﺎ... ﺍﻝﺤﺏ ﻜل ﻫﺫﺍ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻭﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻝﻡ ﻨﻌﺭﻓﻪ ...ﻭﻝﻥ ﻨﻌﺭﻓﻪ. 229
ﺴﺄﻨﺴﺎﻙ ،ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻜﻴﻑ ﺴﺄﻨﺴﺎﻙ ﻭﻤﺘـﻰ ،ﺍﻷﻴـﺎﻡ ﺴـﺘﻌﻴﺩ ﺫﻜﺭﺍﻙ ،ﺴﺄﻨﺴﺎﻙ ...ﺴﺄﻋﺸﻕ ﻏﺩﺍ ﻏﻴﺭﻙ ...ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻗﺩ ﺃﻗﺴﻡ ﻝﻙ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻝﻥ ﻴﻌﺸﻕ ﺴﻭﺍﻙ ...ﺃﺤﻤﻕ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻋﻴﺵ ﺤﺒﻲ ﻝﻙ ﻨﺎﺭﺍ ﺘﺤﺭﻗﻨﻲ ،ﻤـﺩﺍﻤﻌﻲ ﻝﻥ ﺘﻁﻔﺌﻪ ...ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺤﺭﻗﺕ ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺭ ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ﻓﻠﻥ ﺃﻗﻭل ﻝﻘﻠﺒﻲ ﺍﺤﺭﺹ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺃﻨﻙ ﻓﻴﻪ! ﺃﻗﺴﻡ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻝﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﺒﺄﻨﻲ ﺴﺄﻗﺭﺃ ﺃﻱ ﻜﺘﺎﺏ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻨﺴﻴﺎﻨﻙ ،ﺃﻨﻲ ﺴﺄﺘﺩﺭﺏ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺭﻓﻬﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﺘﺭﻜﻙ ﻓﻲ ﻜـﻭﺍﻝﻴﺱ ﺤﻴـﺎﺘﻲ، ﺴﺄﻫﺠﺭ ﻜل ﺃﺼﺩﻗﺎﺌﻲ ﺍﻝﺫﻴﻥ ﻋﺭﻓﻭﻙ ،ﻝﻥ ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻤـﺴﺠﺩ ﻤـﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺼﻠﻴﺕ ،ﻝﻥ ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﻨﻭﺕ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻤﻨﻪ ﻜﻨـﺎ ﻨﺸﺭﻱ ﺃﺸﻴﺎﺀﻨﺎ ،ﺃﻋﺎﻫﺩ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺴﺄﺸﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﺤﻠﻴﺏ ﺒﺎﻝﺒﻴﺽ ﻜﻲ ﺃﺒﻘﻰ ﻗﻭﻴﺎ ...ﻓﺎﻝﺤﺯﻥ ﺃﻓﻘﺩﻨﻲ ﺸﻬﻴﺘﻲ ﻝﻴﺱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻁﻌﺎﻡ ﻓﺤﺴﺏ ﻻ ﺒل ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ،ﺴﺄﺸﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﺤﻠﻴﺏ ﺃﻀﻌﺎﻓﺎ ﻭﺴـﺄﺭﺠﻊ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﻗﺭﺍﺀﺍﺘـﻲ ﻭﺃﻗﺭﺃﻫﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺃﻭﻗﺎﺘﻲ. ﺤﺴﺒﻙ ﺍﷲ ﺇﻥ ﻗﺘﻠﺕ ﻁﻔﻠﻲ ...ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺭﻗﺩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻓﺭﺍﺸﻲ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺄﻨﻲ ﺠﺴﺩﺍ ﻤﻔﺭﻏﺎ ﻭﺭﻭﺤﻲ ﺘﻐﺭﺒﺕ ﻋﻨﻲ ،ﺃﺤﺯﺍﻥ ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻜﻴﻑ ﺃﺒﺩﺃ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﻜﻴﻑ ﺃﻨﺘﻬﻲ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ،ﻓﻲ ﺨﻀﻡ ﺸﻌﻭﺭ ﻤﺜل ﺨﻨﺎﺠﺭ ﺍﻨﺘﻘﺎﻡ ﺘﻘﺘﻠﻨﻲ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﻠﻴل ﻭﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺼﺭﺥ ...ﺃﺭﻜﻊ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﺍﻝﻌﺘﻴﻕ ﺃﺸﺩ ﺒﻐﻁﺎﺌﻪ ﺃﺒﻜﻲ، ﺃﻁﻤﻊ ﺒﻌﻔﻭﻩ ﻭﺴﺨﺎﺌﻪ... 230
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ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﺜﺎﻨﻴﺔ ﻋﺸﺭ ﻝﻴﻼ ﺃﺴﺎﻤﺭ ﺨﻴﺒﺎﺕ ﺃﻤﻠﻲ ،ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﻤﻨـﺎﺩﻱ ﻴﻨﺎﺩﻱ ﺒﺼﻭﺕ ﻤﺭﺘﻔﻊ ﻭﺨﺎﺌﻑ ،ﻭﻗﻔﺕ ﻤﺫﻋﻭﺭﺍ ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﻬﺎ ﺃﺤﺩ ﺍﻝﻔﺘﻴـﺎﺕ ﺘﻘﻭل ﻝﻲ ﺃﺘﺕ ﺴﻴﺎﺭﺓ ﺇﺴﻌﺎﻑ ﻭﺃﺨﺫﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺘﺸﻔﻰ ،ﻫﻠﻌﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺄﺨﺭﺓ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻠﻴل ﻤﺴﺭﻋﺎ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺘـﺸﻔﻰ ،ﺘﻨﺎﺴـﻴﺕ ﻜـل ﺍﻷﺤﺯﺍﻥ ﺩﺍﻋﻴﺎ ﺍﷲ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻓﻲ ﻋﺎﻓﻴﺔ ﻭﺴﻼﻤﺔ ،ﻭﺼـﻠﺕ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺴﺭﻴﺭﻫﺎ ﻤﻨﻬﻜ ﹰﺔ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻜﻭﻥ ﺴﻭﻯ ﺫﻝـﻙ ﺍﻝﺭﺠل ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺤﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﻤﺎﺯﺍل ،ﻋﺎﻨﻘﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﻜل ﺤﺏ ﻭﻓﻭﺠﺌﺕ ﺒﺨﺒـﺭ ﻗـﺩ ﺃﺤﺯﻨﻨﻲ ﻭﺁﻝﻤﻨﻲ. "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺒﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ؟" 232
"ﻻ ﺃﻋﻠﻡ! ﺃﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺒﺄﻝﻡ ﻴﻘﻁﻊ ﺃﺤـﺸﺎﺌﻲ ...ﻝـﻡ ﺃﻋـﺩ ﺃﺤﺘﻤـل، ﺃﺤﻀﺭﻭﻨﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻫﻨﺎ ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻷﻝﻡ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺠﻨﻴﻥ ﺨﺎﺭﺝ ﺍﻝـﺭﺤﻡ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺒﻴﺽ ﻭﺍﻨﻔﺠﺭ ،ﺍﻵﻥ ﺃﻋﺎﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﻨﺯﻴﻑ ﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ،ﻻ ﺃﻋـﺭﻑ ﻤـﺎﺫﺍ ﺴﻴﻔﻌل ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﺏ ،ﻝﺫﺍ ﻗﺭﺭ ﺇﺠﺭﺍﺀ ﻋﻤﻠﻴﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻔﻭﺭ!" ﺍﷲ !...ﻗﺩ ﺍﺴﺘﺒﺩﻝﺕ ﺃﺤﺯﺍﻨﻲ ﺃﺤﺯﺍﻨﺎ ،ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻗﺒل ﺴﻭﻴﻌﺎﺕ ﺘﻤﻠﻘﺎ ﻭﺃﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺎﻨﻲ ﻤﻨﻬﻤﺎ ﻭﺍﻵﻥ ﺨﻭﻓﺎ ﻭﻗﻠﻘﺎ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺴﺄﻓﻘﺩﻫﺎ ﻝﻸﺒﺩ. ﺩﺨﻠﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ ﺍﻝﻌﻤﻠﻴﺎﺕ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺒﻜﻲ ﻤﺜل ﻁﻔل ﻭﻝﻴﺩ ،ﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺤﺎل ﻭﺨﻭﻓﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻝﺤﻅﺔ ﻴﺘﺯﺍﻴﺩ ،ﻜﺎﻥ ﺭﺃﻱ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺃﻤﻠﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﻴﺵ ﻻ ﻴﺘﺠﺎﻭﺯ ﺍﻝﻌﺸﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﺌﺔ ،ﺍﻨﺘﻬﺕ ﺍﻝﻌﻤﻠﻴـﺔ ﺒﻌـﺩ ﺜﻼﺜـﺔ ﺴﺎﻋﺎﺕ ﻭﺒﻔﻀل ﺍﷲ ﻨﺠﺤﺕ ﺇﻻ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﺨﻁﺭ ﻤﺎﺯﺍل ﻗﺎﺌﻤﺎ ،ﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﺜﻼﺜـﺔ ﺃﻴﺎﻡ ﻓﻲ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ ﺍﻝﻌﻨﺎﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﻜﺯﺓ ﻓﺎﻗﺩﺓ ﻝﻠﻭﻋﻲ ﺍﻝﻜﻠﻲ ،ﻻ ﺃﺘﻤﻨـﻰ ﺇﻻ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻌﻴﺩﻫﺎ ﺍﷲ ﻝﻠﺤﻴﺎﺓ. ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻠﻴﻠﺔ ﺍﻝﺜﺎﻝﺜﺔ ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﻝﻠﺒﻴﺕ ﻤﻨﻬﻙ ،ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﻗﻀﻲ ﻜل ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﺠﺎﻝﺴﺎ ﺠﺎﻨﺒﻬﺎ ،ﻭﺼﻠﺕ ،ﻻ ﺃﺫﻜﺭ ﺇﻻ ﻭﻗﺕ ﺠﻠﻭﺴﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﻌﺩ ﻓﻲ ﻏﺭﻓـﺔ ﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﻌﺎﺱ ...ﻨﻤﺕ ﺍﻝﺠﻠﻭﺱ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺨﺫ ﻗﺴﻁ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﺍﺤﺔ ،ﻏﻠﺏ ﻋﻠ ﻤﻥ ﻏﻴﺭ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ...ﺃﻓﻘﺕ ﻤﻔﺯﻭﻋﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺼﻭﺕ ﻫﺎﺘﻔﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺤﻤـﻭل ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻤﺭﻀﺔ ﺘﻘﻭل ﻝﻲ" :ﺴﻴﺩﻱ ﻤﻌﻙ ﺍﻝﻤﻤﺭﻀﺔ ﺩﻴﺎﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻗـﺴﻡ ﺍﻝﻌﻨﺎﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﺭﻜﺯﺓ ،ﻫل ﺃﻨﺕ ﺯﻭﺝ ﺍﻝﺴﻴﺩﺓ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ؟" 233
"ﻨﻌﻡ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺯﻭﺠﻬﺎ ،ﻫل ﺤﺩﺙ ﺸﻲﺀ ﻝﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ؟ ﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺤﺼل؟ ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻲ ﻗﻭﻝﻲ ﻝﻲ ﻫل ﺯﻭﺠﺘﻲ ﺒﺨﻴﺭ؟" ﻭﻗﻔﺕ ﻓﺯﻋﺎ ﺃﺘﻜﻠﻡ ﻭﻻ ﺃﻋﻲ ﺃﻱ ﺸﻲﺀ ﺤـﻭﻝﻲ ،ﺃﺼـﺎﺒﻨﻲ ﺩﻭﺍﺭ، ﺨﻭﻑ ،ﻜﺩﺕ ﺃﺴﻘﻁ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻝﻭﻻ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺘﺩﺍﺭﻜﺕ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻭﺠﻠـﺴﺕ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻜﺎﻨﻲ. "ﺼﺒﺭﺍ ﺴﻴﺩﻱ ...ﺍﻝﺴﻴﺩﺓ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺃﻓﺎﻗﺕ ﻤﻥ ﻏﻴﺒﻭﺒﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﻫـﻲ ﺒﺨﻴـﺭ ﻭﺍﻝﺤﻤﺩ ﷲ ،ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻗﻭل ﻝﻙ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﺭﻴﺩ ﺭﺅﻴﺘﻙ" ﻗﻔﺯﺕ ﻤﻥ ﻤﻘﻌﺩﻱ ﺭﻜﻀﺕ ﻓﺭﺤﺎ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﺭﺝ ،ﻜﺩﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻁﻴـﺭ ﻓﺭﺤﺎ ﻭﻏﺒﻁﺔ ،ﺴﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﻤﻠﺌﺕ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ،ﻓﻜﺎﻥ ﻗﺭﺒﻬﺎ ﻝﻠﻤﻭﺕ ﻗﺭﺏ ﺃﻁﺭﺍﻓﻬﺎ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ،ﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﻋﺩﻭ ﻻ ﺃﻗﺩﺭ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻨﺘﻅﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﻓﻠﺔ ،ﻓﺎﻝﺴﺎﺌﻕ ﻝﻥ ﻴﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻔﺭﺤﺘﻲ ،ﻭﺍﻝﺤﺎﻓﻠﺔ ﻝﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺃﺴﺭﻉ ﻤﻥ ﻝﻬﻔﺘﻲ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ. ﻭﺼﻠﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺘﺸﻔﻰ ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻜﻴﻑ ﻭﺼﻠﺕ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﻜﻥ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺴـﻭﻯ ﻭﺠﻬﻬﺎ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻲ ،ﺩﺨﻠﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﺠﻬﻬﺎ ﺍﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺔ ﻤﺭﻫﻘﺔ ،ﺘﻌﺒﺔ، ﺠﻠﺴﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺠﺎﻨﺒﻬﺎ ،ﻭﻀﻌﺕ ﻴﺩﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺨﺩﻫﺎ ﺃﻗﺒﻠﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺤﻤﺩ ﺍﷲ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺴﻼﻤﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺤﻜﻲ ﻝﻬﺎ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺭﻗﺔ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻋﺸﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﻫـﻲ ﻓـﻲ ﻋـﺎﻝﻡ ﺍﷲ ﻗﺭﻴﺒﺔ ﻤﻨﻪ ،ﺃﺤﻜﻲ ﻝﻬﺎ ﻋﻥ ﻓﺭﺤﺘﻲ ﻝﺭﺅﻴﺎﻫـﺎ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻭﻫـﻲ ﺘﻜﻠﻤﻨـﻲ ﺒﺤﺭﻭﻓﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﻘﻁﻌﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﻬﻜﺔ. 234
"ﺤﻤﺩ ﷲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺴﻼﻤﺘﻙ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﻫﺎ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻤﻌﺎﻓﺎﺓ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐـﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻝﻤـﺎﺫﺍ ﺃﺨﻔﺘﻨﻲ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ؟" ﻀﻤﻤﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﺸﺩﺓ ﻭﻗﺒﻠﺕ ﺠﺒﻴﻨﻬﺎ ،ﻭﻀﻌﺕ ﺭﺃﺴﻬﺎ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺍﻝﻭﺴـﺎﺩﺓ، ﺼﺭﺕ ﺍﻷﻤﺱ ﻭﺠﻬﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺒﺭﻱﺀ ﺍﻷﺼﻔﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺁﺜﺎﺭ ﺍﻝﻌﻤﻠﻴﺔ. "ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺠﻤﻴﻠﺔ ﻜﻌﺎﺩﺘﻬﺎ ،ﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ﺘﺨﺭﺝ ﻤـﻥ ﻏـﺭﻑ ﺍﻝﻌﻤﻠﻴـﺎﺕ ﻤﺭﻫﻘﻴﻥ ﻤﺘﻌﺒﻴﻥ ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﻜﺄﻨﻙ ﻓﻲ ﻨﻘﺎﻫﺔ" ﺼﺎﺭﺕ ﺘﻀﺤﻙ ﺃﻭ ﺘﺤﺎﻭل ﺍﻝﻀﺤﻙ ﺘﻭﻤﺊ ﺒﻌﻴﻨﻴﻬـﺎ ﺍﻝﻤـﺭﻫﻘﺘﻴﻥ ﻭﺘﻘﻭل ﺒﺼﻭﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺨﻔﺽ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻻ ﺃﻜﺎﺩ ﺃﺴﻤﻌﻪ" :ﺃﻨﺕ ﻤﺠﺎﻤل ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻲ ﻜﻌﺎﺩﺘﻙ ...ﺍﻝﻤﻬﻡ ﺃﻨﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺠﺎﻨﺒﻲ" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻗﻠﺒﻙ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻴﺎ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﺍﻝﻤﻬﻡ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺒﺨﻴﺭ ﻤﻥ ﻜل ﺸﺭ ...ﻫـﺎ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺃﺴﻤﻊ ﺼﻭﺘﻙ ،ﺃﺭﻯ ﺍﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺘﻙ ﺜﺎﻨﻴ ﹰﺔ ،ﺤﻤﺩﺍ ﷲ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺒﻘـﺎﻙ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻗﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﺒﻌﺩﻤﺎ ﻓﻘﺩﺕ ﺍﻷﻤل ﻭﺍﻷﻁﺒﺎﺀ" ﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﻋﻨﺩﻫﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﺀ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻗﺭﺏ ﻤﻨﺘﺼﻑ ﺍﻝﻠﻴل ،ﺫﻫﺒـﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﺃﺤﺎﻭﺭ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ :ﻝﻥ ﺃﺤﺯﻥ ﺇﺫﺍ ﻭﻗﻊ ﻓﺭﺍﻕ ﺒﻴﻨﻨﺎ ،ﻓﺄﻨـﺎ ﻓـﺭﺡ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ﻷﻥ ﺍﷲ ﺃﻋﺎﺩ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﺓ ،ﻭﺍﻝﻤﻬﻡ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﺒﺨﻴﺭ ﺴﻠﻴﻤﺔ ،ﻭﻻ ﻴﻬﻡ ﺇﻥ ﺸﺎﺀﺕ ﺍﻷﻗﺩﺍﺭ ﺃﻥ ﻻ ﻨﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﻌﺎ. 235
ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺍﻝﺘﺎﻝﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﻤﺎ ﻴﻘﺎﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﺩﻴـﺔ ﻋـﺸﺭ ﺤﻀﺭﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺘﺸﻔﻰ ،ﻭﻗﺩ ﻗﺭﺭ ﺍﻝﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺒﻘـﻰ ﺜﻼﺜـﺔ ﺃﻭ ﺃﺭﺒﻌﺔ ﺃﻴﺎﻡ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﻁﻤﺌﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺤﺎﻝﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺼﺤﻴﺔ ﻭﻤﻥ ﺜﻡ ﺴـﻴﻜﺘﺏ ﻝﻬـﺎ ﺨﺭﻭﺝ ﺃﺫﺍ ﺘﺤﺴﻨﺕ. ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺘﺴﺘﻘﺒل ﻤﻜﺎﻝﻤﺎﺕ ﺘﻠﻔﻭﻨﻴﺔ ﻭﻋﻨﺩ ﺤـﻀﻭﺭﻱ ﺃﻭ ﻭﻗـﺕ ﻭﺠﻭﺩﻱ ﺘﺘﻠﺒﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻜﻼﻡ ﻭﻴﺼﺒﺢ ﻤﺒﻬﻡ ﻏﻴﺭ ﻭﺍﻀﺢ ،ﺘﻘـﻭل ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺍﻝﻬﺎﺘﻑ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﻭﺠﻭﺩﻱ "ﻨﻌﻡ ...ﻻ ...ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ...ﻝﻴﺱ ﺍﻵﻥ ...ﻓﻲ ﻤﻜﺎﻝﻤﺔ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ...ﻤﻊ ﺍﻝﺴﻼﻤﺔ" ﻜل ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﺃﺜﺎﺭﺕ ﺍﻝﺸﻜﻭﻙ ﻋﻨﺩﻱ ،ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺴﺄﻝﻬﺎ" :ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻬﺎﺘﻑ؟" ﺘﻘﻭل ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﻲ ﻭﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﻤﻲ ،ﺃﺭﻯ ﺍﺼﻔﺭﺍﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﻜﺫﺏ ﻓﻲ ﻭﺠﻬﻬﺎ. ﻁﻠﺒﺕ ﻤﻨﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺫﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﺀ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺤﻀﺭ ﻝﻬﺎ ﺤﻘﻴﺒﺘﻬـﺎ ﺍﻝـﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﺨﺎﺼﺔ ﺒﻬﺎ ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﺘﺭﺩﺩ ،ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﻹﺤﻀﺎﺭﻫﺎ ،ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺍﻝﺤﻘﻴﺒﺔ ﻤﻔﺘﻭﺤـﺔ، ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﺼﻭﺭﺓ ﻴﻁل ﻨﺼﻔﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﻘﻴﺒﺔ ،ﺃﺨﺭﺠﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﻴﻌﻠﻡ ﺍﷲ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝـﻡ ﺃﻜﻥ ﺃﻨﻭﻱ ﺍﻝﺒﺤﺙ ﻓﻲ ﺨﺼﻭﺼﻴﺎﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﺸﻲﺀ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺘﻭﻗﻌﻪ ،ﺭﺠـل ﻴﺤﻀﻨﻬﺎ ﻭﻫﻲ ﺘﺒﺘﺴﻡ ﺇﻝﻴﻪ ،ﺍﻝﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺍﻋﺘﻘﺩﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻠﻜﻲ ﻭﺤﺩﻱ ﻭﻝـﻲ ﺩﻭﻥ ﻋﻥ ﻏﻴﺭﻱ ،ﺃﺼﺎﺒﻨﻲ ﺇﺤﺒﺎﻁ ﺸﺩﻴﺩ ،ﻏﻀﺏ ﻜﺎﺩ ﻴﻘﺘﻠﻨـﻲ ،ﻤﺘـﻰ 236
ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻌﻨﺎﻗﺎﺕ ﻭﻤﻊ ﻤﻥ؟ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺇﺫﺍ ﻓﻲ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻬﺎ؟ ﻫل ﻜﻨﺕ ﻜﺫﺒﺔ؟ ﻤﻐﺎﻤﺭﺓ؟ ﻤﺴﺎﺀ ﻁﻭﻴل؟ ﻜﺎﻝﺜﻠﺞ ﺫﺍﺏ ﺍﻝﻜـﻼﻡ ﻤﻨـﻲ ...ﻜﻔـﻰ ﺍﻝﺩﻫﺭ ...ﺍﺴﺘﻜﺜﺭ ﻋﻠﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﻌﻡ ﻭﻫﻲ ﺃﻋﻅﻡ ﺴﻬﻤﻲ ...ﻭﺸﺘﻤﻲ .ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋـﺩ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﺤﺴﻪ ﻭﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺴﺄﻗﻭﻝﻪ ،ﺘﻤﻠﻜﻨﻲ ﺸﻲﺀ ﺃﻜﺜـﺭ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺯﻥ ،ﺸﻌﻭﺭ ﺒﺄﻨﻲ ﻻ ﺸﻲﺀ ،ﻋﺎﻝﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﻴﺎﺓ ،ﺍﻨﺘـﺎﺒﻨﻲ ﺃﺤـﺴﺎﺱ ﻗﻴﺩﻨﻲ ،ﺃﺒﻜﻤﻨﻲ ،ﺃﻋﺠﺯﻨﻲ ﻋﻥ ﻗﻭل ﺃﻭ ﻓﻌل ﺃﻱ ﺸﻲﺀ ...ﺇﻨﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ، ﺴﻭﺀ ﺍﻝﺤﻅ ﺘﻤﻠﻙ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ...ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ ﺃﺤﻤل ﻝﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺼﻭﺭﺓ ﻭﺤﻘﻴﺒﺘﻬـﺎ، ﺃﻋﻁﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺤﻘﻴﺒﺔ ﻭﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻬﺎ" :ﻋﻠﻰ ﻓﻜﺭﺓ ﻴـﺎ ﻤﺨﻠـﺼﺔ ﻝﻘـﺩ ﺭﺃﻴـﺕ ﺍﻝﺼﻭﺭﺓ" ﻭﺨﺭﺠﺕ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻲ ﺴﻭﻯ ﺴﻔﺭ ﺒﺎﻝﻨﺴﺒﺔ ﻝﻲ ﻫﺭﻭﺏ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴـﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﻭﺩ ﻤﻨﻪ ، ،ﺨﺭﺠﺕ ﻤﻥ ﻋﻨـﺩﻫﺎ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺒـﺎﺩﻝﻨﻲ ﺃﻱ ﻜﻠﻤـﺔ، ﺨﺭﺠﺕ ﻤﻥ ﻏﺭﻓﺘﻬﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺭﺍﻫﺎ ،ﻭﺼﻠﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﺒﻴـﺕ ﻭﻓـﻭﺭ ﻭﺼﻭﻝﻲ ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﺃﺠﻬﺯ ﻤﺘﺎﻋﻲ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺒﻘﻰ ﻭﻻ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻝﻴﻠﺔ ﻭﻻ ﺃﻨﻭﻱ ﺍﻝﻌﻭﺩﺓ ،ﻭﺩﻋﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺤﻭﻝﻲ ،ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺫﻴﻥ ﻜﺎﻨﻭﺍ ﻝﻠﺼﺩﻓﺔ ﻤﺘﻭﺍﺠﺩﻴﻥ ﻗﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺯل ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﺤﻤل ﻤﻥ ﻤﺘﺎﻋﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻘﻠﻴل ﺍﻝﻘﻠﻴل ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺩ ﺃﻁﻴﻕ ﺍﻝﺒﻘﺎﺀ، ﺭﺠﻭﺕ ﺍﷲ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺴﻬل ﻁﺭﻴﻘﻲ ،ﻴﺴﺩﺩ ﺃﻤﺭﻱ ﻭﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ﺨﻴﺭ.
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﺃﺨﺫﺕ ﺴﻴﺎﺭﺓ ﺃﺠﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﺘﺠﻬﺕ ﻨﺤﻭ ﻤﻘﺭ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺘﺨﺏ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﺨـﺭﻭﺝ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺒﻴﺕ ﺒﺄﻱ ﺼﻭﺭﺓ ﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﺘﺤﻀﺭ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻷﻥ ﻤﻭﻋﺩ ﺴﻔﺭﻱ ﻗـﺩ ﻴﺘﺄﺨﺭ ﻷﺴﺒﻭﻉ ﺃﻭ ﺍﺜﻨﻴﻥ ،ﻭﺼﻠﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻤﻘﺭ ﺍﻝﻤﻨﺘﺨﺏ ﻭﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺍﻝـﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﺭﺍﺒﻌﺔ ﺤﺴﺏ ﺍﻝﺘﻘﺭﻴﺏ ،ﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺃﺤﺩ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺴﻭﻯ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﺭﺱ "ﻤﺭﺤﺒﺎ ﻴﺎ ﻨﺠﻡ ،ﻫل ﺍﻝﺠﻤﻴﻊ ﺫﻫﺒﻭﺍ؟" ﻨﺠﻡ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﺭﺱ. "ﻤﺭﺤﺒﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ،ﻨﻌﻡ ﺫﻫﺒﻭﺍ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﻌﻠﻡ ﺃﻥ ﺯﻤﻼﺌﻙ ﻴﻨﺘﻬﻲ ﺘﻤـﺭﻴﻨﻬﻡ ﻗﺒل ﺍﻝﻅﻬﺭ ﻭﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺤﺴﺏ ﺍﻝﺒﺭﻨﺎﻤﺞ ﻝﻥ ﻴﺘﺩﺭﺏ ﺍﻝﺸﺒﺎﺏ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﺀ" "ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﻋﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﺸﺒﺎﺏ ﺍﻝﻼﻋﺒﻴﻥ ،ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﺃﻋﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺩﻴﺭ" "ﺍﻝﻤﺩﻴﺭ ﻗﺩ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺒﻤﻜﺎﺘﺏ ﺍﻹﺩﺍﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﺭﺌﻴﺴﻴﺔ!" "ﺃﻓﺘﺢ ﻝﻲ ﻤﻜﺘﺏ ﺍﻹﺩﺍﺭﺓ ﻝﻭ ﺴﻤﺤﺕ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺘـﺼل ﺒـﻪ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﺘﺏ ،ﺍﻷﻤﺭ ﻫﺎﻡ" 239
ﺩﺨل ﻨﺠﻡ ﻝﻠﻤﻜﺘﺏ ﻭﺩﺨﻠﺕ ﺨﻠﻔﻪ ،ﻁﻠﺏ ﺭﻗـﻡ ﺍﻹﺩﺍﺭﺓ ﺍﻝﺭﺌﻴـﺴﻴﺔ "ﻤﺭﺤﺒﺎ ﺴﻴﺩﻱ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺤﺎﺭﺱ ﻤﻘﺭ ﺍﻻﺘﺤﺎﺩ ،ﻫل ﺍﻝـﺴﻴﺩ ﻁﺎﻝـﺏ ﻤـﺩﻴﺭ ﺍﻻﺘﺤﺎﺩ ﻋﻨﺩﻜﻡ؟" ﺭﺩ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺎﺒل" :ﻨﻌﻡ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻤﻭﺠﻭﺩ ،ﻝﺤﻅﺔ ...ﺘﻔﻀل ﺃﺴﺘﺎﺫ ﻁﺎﻝﺏ ﻤﻜﺎﻝﻤﺔ" "ﻤﺩﻴﺭ ﺍﻻﺘﺤﺎﺩ ،ﺘﻔﻀل" ﻗﺎل ﺍﻝﺴﻴﺩ ﻁﺎﻝﺏ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺴﻤﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﻬﺎﺘﻑ. "ﺴﻴﺩ ﻁﺎﻝﺏ ،ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﻴﻭﺩ ﺍﻝﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ" ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺃﻋﻁﺎﻨﻲ ﻨﺠﻡ ﺴﻤﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﻬﺎﺘﻑ "ﻤﺭﺤﺒﺎ ﺃﺴﺘﺎﺫ ﻁﺎﻝﺏ" "ﻤﺭﺤﺒﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ،ﻜﻴﻑ ﺤﺎﻝﻙ؟ ﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺠﺎﺀ ﺒﻙ ﺍﻵﻥ؟" "ﺃﺴﺘﺎﺫ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺒﺤﺎﺠﺔ ﻝﻠﻤﺒﻴﺕ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻤﻭﻋﺩ ﺴﻔﺭﻱ ،ﻭﺃﺭﺠﻭ ﺃﻥ ﻨﻌﺠـل ﺒﺈﺠﺭﺍﺀﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﺴﻔﺭ" "ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻜل ﻫﺫﺍ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ؟ ﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺠﺭﻯ؟" "ﻝﻴﺱ ﺍﻵﻥ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﺭﻫﻕ ﺠﺩﺍ ﻭﻝﺴﺕ ﻤﺴﺘﻌﺩﺍ ﻝﻠﺨـﻭﺽ ﻓـﻲ ﻫـﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﻀﻭﻉ"
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"ﻜﻤﺎ ﺘﺭﻴﺩ ،ﺃﻋﻁﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﺭﺱ ﻜﻲ ﻴﺅﻤﻥ ﻝﻙ ﺍﻝﻤﺒﻴﺕ ،ﻭﺴﺄﺭﺍﻙ ﻏﺩﺍ، ﺃﺴﺘﺭﺨﻲ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻭﻻ ﺘﻨﺯﻋﺞ ،ﻜل ﺸﻲﺀ ﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﺎ ﻴﺭﺍﻡ ﺇﻥ ﺸـﺎﺀ ﺍﷲ" "ﺸﻜﺭﺍ ﺃﺴﺘﺎﺫ ﻁﺎﻝﺏ" ﺃﻋﻁﻴﺕ ﺴﻤﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﻬﺎﺘﻑ ﻝﻠﺤﺎﺭﺱ. "ﻨﻌﻡ ﺴﻴﺩ ﻁﺎﻝﺏ" ﻗﺎل ﺍﻝﺤﺎﺭﺱ. "ﺠﻬﺯ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ ﻤﻥ ﻏﺭﻑ ﺍﻝﻼﻋﺒﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﺯﻭﺍﺭ ﻝﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﻭﺃﻤﻥ ﻝﻪ ﻤﺘﻁﻠﺒﺎﺘﻪ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﻐﺩ ،ﻝﻭ ﺴﻤﺤﺕ" "ﺤﺎﻀﺭ ﺴﻴﺩ ﻁﺎﻝﺏ" ﺃﻨﻬﻰ ﻨﺠﻡ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻝﻤﺔ "ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺃﻨﺘﻅﺭ ﻗﻠﻴﻼ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﺠﻬـﺯ ﻝـﻙ ﻏﺭﻓـﺔ ﻭﺴﺄﻋﻭﺩ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﺤﺎﻻ" "ﺸﻜﺭﺍ ﻴﺎ ﻨﺠﻡ" ﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺘﺏ ﺃﻨﺘﻅﺭﻩ ﻭﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻤـﺎ ﺍﻝـﺫﻱ ﻴﺠﻭل ﻓﻲ ﺨﺎﻁﺭﻱ ﻭﻗﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻤﺜل ﺍﻝﻁﻔل ﺍﻝﻀﺎﺌﻊ ،ﻏﺭﻴـﺏ ،ﻤﺭﺘﺒـﻙ، ﻤﺤﺒﻁ ،ﺴﻠﺒﻲ ﻭﺤﻠﻘﻲ ﺠﺎﻑ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺭﻗﺔ ،ﺨﻴﺎﻨﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﻌﻤﺭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻤﻀﻰ. ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺴﻤﻌﺕ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﺭﺱ ﻴﻨﺎﺩﻴﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻁﺎﺒﻕ ﺍﻝﻌﻠﻭﻱ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝـﺩﺭﺝ: "ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﺘﻌﺎل ،ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﺠﺎﻫﺯ"
241
ﺼﻌﺩﺕ ﺇﻝﻴﻪ ﺃﺤﻤل ﺤﻘﻴﺒﺔ ﻤﺘﺎﻋﻲ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﺃﻀﻊ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻻﻋﺘﻴـﺎﺩ ﻤﻼﺒﺱ ﺍﻝﺘﻤﺭﻴﻥ ،ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺃﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻗﻠﻴﻠﻪ ،ﺩﺨﻠﺕ ﺍﻝﻐﺭﻓﺔ ﻭﻭﻀﻌﺕ ﺃﺸـﻴﺎﺌﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺠﺎﻨﺏ ﺍﻷﻴﻤﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻭﺍﺴﺘﻠﻘﻴﺕ ﻤﻨﻬﻜﺎ ﺒﻔﻜﺭﻱ ﻭﺠـﺴﺩﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﺴﺭﻴﺭ. ﻨﻤﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﺭ ﻭﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻤﻨﺘﺼﻑ ﺍﻝﻠﻴل ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﻭﻫﺫﺍ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ ﻋﻠﻲ ،ﻓﻬﺫﻩ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻋﺎﺩﺘﻲ ...ﻝﻡ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺨﻠﺩ ﻝﻠﻨﻭﻡ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ،ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺎﺕ ﻁﻭﻴﻠﺔ ﻜﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﺃﻴﺎﻡ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﺼﺒﺎﺡ ،ﺤـﻀﺭ ﺍﻝﻤـﺩﻴﺭ، ﻜﻨﺕ ﺒﺎﻨﺘﻅﺎﺭﻩ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺘﺏ. "ﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﺍﻝﺨﻴﺭ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ" "ﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﺍﻝﺨﻴﺭ ﺃﺴﺘﺎﺫ ﻁﺎﻝﺏ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺁﺴﻑ ﻝﻺﺯﻋﺎﺝ ﻝﻴﻠﺔ ﺍﻷﻤﺱ" "ﻻ ﺘﻌﻁﻲ ﺒﺎل ﻝﻸﻤﺭ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ،ﻨﺤﻥ ﻫﻨﺎ ﻋﺎﺌﻠﺘﻙ ﺍﻝﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ،ﺃﻝﻡ ﺘﻨﻡ ﻲ. ﻁﻭﺍل ﺍﻝﻠﻴل؟" ﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﻹﺭﻫﺎﻕ ﺒﺎﺩﻱ ﻋﻠ "ﺒﻠﻲ ...ﻭﻝﻜﻨﻲ ﻤﺭﻫﻕ" "ﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﺭﻫﻘﻙ؟ ﻝﻘﺩ ﺃﺭﻗﻨﻲ ﺃﻤﺭﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺭﺤﺔ" "ﻻ ﺸﻲﺀ ،ﺇﻨﻤﺎ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺴﺭﻉ ﺒﺈﺠﺭﺍﺀﺍﺕ ﺍﻝﺴﻔﺭ" 242
"ﺃﻻ ﺘﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻘﻭل ﻝﻲ ﻤﺎ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻴﺅﺭﻗﻙ؟ ﻫل ﻫﻲ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ؟" "ﻨﻌﻡ ،ﻫﻲ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻭﻝﻜﻥ ﻻ ﺘﺴﺄﻝﻨﻲ ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﺴﺕ ﻤﺴﺘﻌﺩﺍ ﻝﻠﺨﻭﺽ ﻓﻲ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﻀﻭﻉ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻹﻁﻼﻕ ،ﻓﻘﻁ ﺴﺎﻋﺩﻨﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺘﻌﺠﻴل ﺍﻝـﺴﻔﺭ، ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺃﻤﻜﻥ" "ﻫل ﺃﻨﺕ ﻤﺘﺄﻜﺩ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺘﻘﻭﻝﻪ؟ ﺍﺒﻘﻰ ﻴﻭﻤﻴﻥ ﻴﻤﻜﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺘﻐﻴﺭ ﺭﺃﻴﻙ ﻴﺎ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ!" "ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ ﺃﺴﺘﺎﺫ ﻝﺒﻲ ﻝﻲ ﺭﻏﺒﺘﻲ ﺍﻷﺨﻴﺭﺓ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻋﻲ ﻤﺎ ﺃﻗﻭل" ﺭﻓـﻊ ﺭﺌﻴﺱ ﺍﻻﺘﺤﺎﺩ ﺴﻤﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﻬﺎﺘﻑ ﻭﻁﻠﺏ ﻤﻜﺘﺏ ﺴﻔﺭﻴﺎﺕ "ﻤﺭﺤﺒـﺎ ،ﺃﻨـﺎ ﻁﺎﻝﺏ ﺭﺌﻴﺱ ﺍﺘﺤﺎﺩ ﺍﻝﻤﻼﻜﻤﺔ ،ﻫل ﻝﺩﻴﻜﻡ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺤﺠﻭﺯﺍﺕ ﺴﺭﻴﻌﺔ؟" ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺎﺒل "ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻴﻥ ﺴﻴﺩﻱ؟" "ﺇﻝﻰ ﺃﻝﻤﺎﻨﻴﺎ" "ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﺸﺭﺓ ﻤﺴﺎﺀﹰﺍ ﺇﻥ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ ﺴﻴﺩﻱ" "ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﺸﺭﺓ ﻤﺴﺎﺀﹰﺍ ،ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺃﺤﺒﺒﺕ؟" ﺴﺄل ﺭﺌﻴﺱ ﺍﻻﺘﺤﺎﺩ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ. "ﻨﻌﻡ ،ﻤﻨﺎﺴﺏ ﺠﺩﺍ" 243
"ﻫل ﺃﻨﺕ ﻤﺘﺄﻜﺩ؟" "ﻨﻌﻡ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﺘﺄﻜﺩ ،ﺃﺴﺘﺎﺫ ﻁﺎﻝﺏ ﻝﻘﺩ ﺍﺴﺘﻭﻋﺒﺕ ﺴـﺅﺍﻝﻙ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻝﻤـﺭﺓ ﺍﻷﻭﻝﻰ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﺘﺄﻜﺩ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺍﻝﺴﻔﺭ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻗﺒل ﺍﻝﻐﺩ" ﻜﺄﻥ ﺃﺤﺩﺍ ﺃﺴﻌﻔﻨﻲ ،ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻝﻡ ﺃﻋﺩ ﺃﺤﺘﻤل ﺍﻝﺒﻘﺎﺀ. "ﺇﺫﺍ ﻜﻥ ﻤﺴﺘﻌﺩﺍ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺴﺄﺨﺒﺭ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﺌﻕ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﻭﺼﻠﻙ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻤﻁـﺎﺭ، ﺴﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻋﻨﺩﻙ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﺩﺴﺔ" "ﺸﻜﺭﺍ ﺃﺴﺘﺎﺫ ﻁﺎﻝﺏ" ﺼﻌﺩﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻐﺭﻓﺔ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴـﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺃﺤﺩﺍ ،ﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺤﻀﺭ ﺍﻝﺴﺎﺌﻕ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻭﻋﺩﻩ ،ﻭﻀﻌﺕ ﺤﻘﻴﺒﺘـﻲ ﺍﻝﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﻌﺩ ﺍﻝﺨﻠﻔﻲ ،ﺴﺭﻨﺎ ﺘﺠﺎﻩ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﺎﺭ ﻭﻗﻠﺒﻲ ﻴﻌﺘﺼﺭ ﺤﺯﻨﺎ، ﻝﻡ ﺃﺘﻭﻗﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ﺒﻬﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺸﻜل ،ﻝﻡ ﺃﺘﻭﻗﻊ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺁﺨﺭ ﺃﻴﺎﻤﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺒﻠﺩﻱ ﻭﻗﺭﺏ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ،ﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﺒﻜﻲ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺭﺍﻫﺎ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻗﺒﻠﻬﺎ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻗﻭل ﻝﻬﺎ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺨﻴﺎﻨﺎﺘﻙ ،ﺃﺭﻴـﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﺎﻨﻘـﻙ، ﺃﺤﻀﻨﻙ ،ﺃﻀﻤﻙ ﺇﻝﻲ ﻤﻥ ﻏﻴﺭ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺭﻯ ﻭﺠﻬﻙ.
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ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﺃﺭﺽ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﺎﺭ ،ﺃﺨﺫﺕ ﺤﻘﻴﺒﺘﻲ "ﺸﻜﺭﺍ ﺴﻴﺩﻱ" ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻠﺴﺎﺌﻕ. "ﻝﻴﻜﻥ ﺍﷲ ﻤﻌﻙ" ﻗﺎل ﺍﻝﺴﺎﺌﻕ. ﺩﺨﻠﺕ ﺍﻝﻤﻁﺎﺭ ﻭﻤﻀﺕ ﺴﺎﻋﺘﻴﻥ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺤﺎﻥ ﻤﻭﻋﺩ ﺍﻻﻨﻁﻼﻕ ،ﻨﺯﻝﺕ ﻝﻠﻁﺎﺒﻕ ﺍﻝﺴﻔﻠﻲ ﻤﻊ ﺍﻝﻤﺴﺎﻓﺭﻴﻥ ﺤﻴﺙ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﺹ ﺒﺎﻻﻨﺘﻅﺎﺭ ،ﺼﻌﺩﻨﺎ ،ﻝـﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺇﻻ ﺨﻤﺴﺔ ﻤﻘﺎﻋﺩ ﻭﺒﻘﻴﻨﺎ ﺠﻤﻴﻌﻨـﺎ ﻭﻗـﻭﻑ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﻭﺼـﻠﻨﺎ ﺍﻝﻁﺎﺌﺭﺓ ...ﺴﺭﺕ ﻨﺤﻭ ﺩﺭﺠﺎﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﻝﻨﺎﺱ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ،ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻲ ﻭﻤﻥ ﺤـﻭﻝﻲ، ﺼﻌﺩﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﺩﻤﻭﻋﻲ ﺘﻨﺤﺩﺭ ﻤﻨﻲ ﺘﺘﻌﺒﻨﻲ ،ﺘﻘﻔل ﻋﻠﻰ ﻗﻠﺒﻲ ،ﺠﻠﺴﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﻘﻌﺩﻱ ﻻ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻤﻥ ﺤﻭﻝﻲ ،ﺃﻗﻠﻌﺕ ﺍﻝﻁﺎﺌﺭﺓ ﺃﺤﺴﺴﺕ ﺒﻘﻠﺒﻲ ﻗﺩ ﺴﻘﻁ ﻤﻥ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺃﻀﻠﻌﻲ ،ﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﺒﻜﻲ ﻭﻴﺴﻤﻌﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﺤﻭﻝﻲ ،ﺃﺘﻨﻬﺩ ﻓﻲ ﺒﻜﺎﺌﻲ ﺃﻤﺴﺢ ﺩﻤﻭﻋﻲ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻓﻀﺢ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺃﻜﻨﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺼﺩﺭﻱ ،ﺘﺠﺒﺭﻨـﻲ ﺍﻝﺩﻤﻌﺔ ﻭﺒﺤﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺼﻭﺘﻲ.
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ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﻭﺼﻠﺕ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﻤﺱ ﺤﻠﻤﻲ ﻭﻁﻤﻭﺤﻲ ،ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﺴﻬﻠﺔ ،ﺼﺭﺕ ﺃﺤﺎﻭل ﺍﻝﺨﻼﺹ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺤﺯﺍﻨﻲ ﻭﺸﻭﺍﺌﺒﻲ، ﻁﺎﻝﺕ ﺒﻲ ﺍﻝﻐﺭﺒﺔ ...ﻋﺭﻓﺕ ﻨﺴﺎﺀ ﺒﺄﻝﻭﺍﻥ ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺓ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻊ ﻨـﺴﻴﺎﻨﻬﺎ، ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺘﻼﺤﻘﻨﻲ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﺍﻝﻤﻜﺎﻨﺎﺕ ،ﺃﺭﺍﻫﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻋﻴﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻨـﺴﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺘﻲ ﻋﺭﻓﺘﻬﺎ. ﺸﺎﺀﺕ ﺍﻷﻗﺩﺍﺭ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻏﺭﺒﺔ ﻁﻭﻴﻠﺔ ﺃﻥ ﻗﺭﺭﺕ ﺍﻝﻌﻭﺩﺓ ﻝﻠﺒﻼﺩ ...ﺒﻐﺩﺍﺩ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻤﺨﻴﻠﺘﻲ ﻭﺩﺍﺌﻡ ﺍﻝﺴﺅﺍل ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ،ﺼﻌﺩﺕ ﺍﻝﻁﺎﺌﺭﺓ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨـﺭﻯ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻏﺭﺒﺔ ﺩﺍﻤﺕ ﺴﻨﻴﻥ ﻁﺭﺕ ﻝﻠﺒﻼﺩ ...ﻻ ﺃﺭﻯ ﻫﺩﻓﺎ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻲ ﺴﻭﺍﻫﺎ!
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ﻓﺼل
ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ
ﻭﺼﻠﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﻤﺘﺄﺨﺭﺓ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻠﻴل ﻭﻝﻡ ﺘﻐﻤﺽ ﻝﻲ ﻋﻴﻥ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﻁﻠﻊ ﺍﻝﻔﺠﺭ ،ﻝﺒﺴﺕ ﺃﺠﻤل ﻤﺘﺎﻋﻲ ،ﻭﺭﺴﻡ ﺍﻝﺯﻤﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﺠﻬﻲ ﺸـﻜﻼ ﺠﺩﻴﺩﺍ ،ﻝﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﺍﻝﻐﺭﺒﺔ ﻗﺼﻴﺭﺓ ،ﻁﻭل ﺍﻝﻐﺭﺒﺔ ﻴﻅﻬـﺭ ﻓـﻲ ﻤﻼﻤـﺢ ﻭﺠﻬﻲ ،ﺨﺭﺠﺕ ﻭﺒﺩﺍﺨﻠﻲ ﺤﻴﺭﺓ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺓ ،ﺃﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻝﻴﻬﺎ؟ ﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﺃﻴﺎﻤﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺤﺎل ﺤﺘﻰ ﺭﺃﻴﺘﻬﺎ ،ﻗﺭﺭﺕ ﺍﻝـﺫﻫﺎﺏ ﺇﻝﻴﻬـﺎ ﺒﻌﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺭﻫﻘﺘﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﻔﻜﺭﺓ ﻭﻁﻭل ﺍﻷﻗﺩﺍﺭ ،ﺸﻭﻕ ﺍﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﻭﺸﻭﻙ ﺍﻹﺼﺭﺍﺭ، ﺘﻤﻨﻴﺕ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝﻡ ﺁﺘﻲ ،ﺘﻤﻨﻴﺕ ﺃﻨﻬـﺎ ﺒﻘﻴـﺕ ﻤـﺎﺽ ﻴـﺯﻴﻥ ﺫﺍﻜﺭﺘـﻲ ﻭﺍﻷﻤﺼﺎﺭ ،ﺘﻤﻨﻴﺕ ﺃﻨﻲ ﻝﻡ ﺃﺭﺠﻊ ﻭﺒﻘﻴﺕ ﺼﻭﺭﺓ ﺠﻤﻴﻠﺔ ﻭﺇﻋﺼﺎﺭ... ﻓﻘﺩﺕ ﺭﻭﻨﻘﻬﺎ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ،ﻓﻘﺩ ﺭﺃﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﻋﺭﻭﺴﺎ ،ﺤﻨـﺕ ﻝﻭﺼﻭﻝﻲ ﻭﻜﺘﺏ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺜﻭﺒﻬﺎ ﺍﻝﺩﻤﺎﺭ ...ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺃﺴﻤﻊ ﺼـﻭﺘﻙ ،ﻓﻴـﻪ ﺨﻭﻑ ﻴﺠﻭﺡ ،ﻫﺎ ﺃﻨﺕ ﻜﻤﺎ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺫﺍﺌﺒﺔ ﺘﺨﺘﻔﻲ ﺒﺎﻝﺠﺭﻭﺡ ،ﺃﺭﻯ ﺩﻤﻭﻋﻙ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﺃﺘﺒﻜﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﺭﻭﺱ ﻴﻭﻡ ﺍﻝﺯﻓﺎﻑ ﺒﺩﻻ ﻤﻥ ﻋﺒﻕ ﻤﻨﺜـﻭﺭ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﺍﻝﺴﻔﻭﺡ؟ ﻋﻠﻤﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﺴﺎﺀ ﻴﻭﻡ ﺍﻝﺯﻓﺎﻑ ﺘﺒﻜﻲ ﺍﺸﺘﻴﺎﻗﺎ ﻝﻭﺼل ،ﺤﺏ ﻴـﺼل ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻝﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻭﺍﻝﻨﺠﻭﻡ ﺍﻝﻌﺎﻝﻴﺎﺕ ،ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﺨﺘﺒﺌﻴﻥ ﻭﺭﺍﺀ ﺩﻤﻭﻋـﻙ؟ ﻝﻘـﺩ ﺠﺌﺕ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻁﻭل ﻏﻴﺎﺏ ﻭﻜﺒﺭ ﺸﻭﻗﻲ ﻭﻝﻡ ﺃﻋـﺩ ﺃﺤﺘﻤـل ،ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘـﻲ، 250
ﻋﻤﺭﻱ ،ﻻ ﺘﺒﻜﻲ ﻭﻻ ﺘﺒﻜﻴﻨﻲ ،ﺃﺘﺒﻜﻲ ﺍﻝﻌﺭﻭﺱ ﻴﻭﻡ ﺍﻝﺯﻓﺎﻑ؟ ﺃﻡ ﻫـﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺒﻜﺎﺀ ﺩﻭﺍﺀ ﺠﺭﺍﺤﺎﺘﻲ؟ ﻴﻜﻔﻴﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﻤﺴﺎﺀﺍﺕ ﻏﺭﺒﺘﻲ ﻭﻋﻤﺭﻱ ،ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻅـﻥ ﺒﻜﺎﺌـﻙ ﺍﻗﺘﻨﺎﻋﺎ ،ﻫﺠﺭﺍ ﻭﺭﺍﺀ ﺍﻝﺘﻔﺎﻨﻲ ،ﻫﺎ ﻗﺩ ﺤﻀﺭﺕ ﻴﺎ ﺼـﻐﻴﺭﺘﻲ ﻭﺤـﺎﻥ ﻝﺤﺒﻨﺎ ﻤﻭﻋﺩ ﺍﻝﻘﻁﺎﻑ ،ﺤﺎﻥ ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘـﻲ ﻝـﻴﻠﺤﻥ ﺒﻜـﺎﺌﻲ ﺃﻏﻨﻴـﺔ ﻭﻨﻭﺍﺡ ...ﺃﺘﺴﻜﻥ ﺍﻝﺭﻭﺡ ﺭﺍﺤﺔ ﻭﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺤﺯﻥ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ؟ ﺃﻨـﺕ ﻻ ﺘﺨﻔـﻲ ﻋﻠﻲ ،ﺃﺭﺍﻙ ﻗﻭﻴﺔ ﺍﻝﻤﻭﺍﺜﻴﻕ ﺯﻴﻨﺕ ﻋﻬﻭﺩﻙ ﺒﻭﺭﻭ ﺩ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺍﻝـﺸﻔﺘﻴﻥ، ﻭﻗﺒﻼﺕ ﻨﺴﻴﺕ ﺤﺭﺍﺭﺘﻬﺎ ﻭ ﻤﻌﻨﺎﻫﺎ! ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﺴﺩﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻘﻠﺏ ﻋﻨﻲ؟ ﻤﺎ ﺤﺴﺒﺕ ﻴﻭﻤﺎ ﻝﻬﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﻔﺘﻭﺭ ،ﺃﺘﻨﺎﺴﻴﺕ ﺃﻡ ﻨﺴﻴﺕ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﻙ ﻤﻨﺫ ﻭﻝﺩﺕ؟ ﻝﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﺒﻌﺩﻴﻥ ﻭﺠﻬﻙ ﻋﻨﻲ؟ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻓﻌﻠﺕ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﺴﺘﺤﻕ ﻜل ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻝﺘﺠﻨﻲ؟ ﺃﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻜل ﻋﻤـﺭﻱ ﻓـﻲ ﺸـﻌﺭﻙ ﻭﺤﺎﺠﺒﻴﻙ؟ ﺃﻝﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ﻝﻙ ﺒﺴﺎﻁﺎ ﻴﺤﻤﻴﻙ ﻤﻥ ﺤـﺭﺍﺭﺓ ﺍﻝـﺸﻤﺱ ﻭﺍﻝﺴﺅﺍل؟ ﺃﻝﻡ ﻴﺴﻌﺩ ﺼﺩﺭﻱ ﺒﻘﺩﻤﻴﻙ؟ ﻫﺎ ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻤﺩ ﻴـﺩﻱ ﺇﻝﻴـﻙ ﻭﻜـل ﺃﺠﺯﺍﺀ ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ﺘﺴﺄﻝﻨﻲ ﻋﻨﻙ! ﺃﺃﻫﻭﻥ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻭﺤﺩﻱ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺍﻻﻋﺘﺭﺍﻑ ﺒﻐﻴﺭ ﺫﻝﻙ ...ﺇﻥ ﺃﺭﺩﺕ ﺍﺫﻫﺒﻲ! ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ﺍﻝﻌﺭﻴﺱ ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺴﺘﻀﻌﻴﻥ ﺠﺴﺩﻙ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺠﻨﺒﻪ ﺴﺘﻌﺭﻓﻴﻥ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﺤﻨﺎﻥ ﻭﺍﻝﺸﺠﻭﻥ ،ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﻜﻡ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺒﺎﻷﻤﺱ ﺃﻫﻔﻭ ﺇﻝﻴﻙ ،ﺃﺴﻴﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﺸﻭﺍﺭﻉ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻅﻼﻡ ﻤﻊ ﻗﻨﺎﺩﻴل ﺤﺒﻲ ...ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻋﺎﻨﻲ ﻤﻥ ﻏﺭﺍﻤﻲ ﻭﻫﻴﺎﻤﻲ ،ﻝﻜﻡ ﺴﺄﻝﺕ ﻨﻔﺴﻲ ﺃﺘﺄﺘﻴﻥ ﻝﻴﻼ 251
ﻋﺭﻭﺴﺎ ﺇﻝﻲ؟ ﻓﻘﺩ ﻁﺎﻝﺕ ﻏﺭﺒﺘﻲ ﻭﺤﻴﺭﺘﻲ ،ﻭﺼﺤﺒﻲ ﻴﻘﻭﻝﻭﺍ ﻋﻨﻲ" :ﻨﺎﻡ ﺠﻨﺎﺡ ﻭﺤﺩﻩ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﻌﺭﻭﺱ" ﻴﺘـﺼﺩﻉ ﺭﺃﺴـﻲ ﻭﻴـﺅﻝﻤﻨﻲ ﺼـﺩﺭﻱ ﺒﻜﻼﻤﻬﻡ ...ﺃﻋﻴﺵ ﻓﻲ ﻅﻼﻤﺎﺘﻙ ،ﻴﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺘﻨﺎﺴﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺤﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﺒﻨﻰ ﻝﻬـﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻜﻴﺎﻨﻪ ﻤﺤﺭﺍﺒﺎ! ﺘﺒﻜﻲ ﻷﺠﻠﻲ ﻜل ﻋﻴﻭﻥ ﻤﻥ ﻋﺭﻓﻨﺎ ،ﺃﻴﺭﻀﻴﻙ ﻫﺫﺍ؟ ﻝﻴﻀﺤﻙ ﻤﻨﻲ ﺍﻝﺯﻤﺎﻥ ﻭﺴﻨﻴﻨﻪ ﻗﻀﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻌﻙ ﺸﻬﺩﺕ ﻋﻠﻲ ﺒـﺄﻨﻲ ﻤـﺎ ﻋﺸﺘﻬﺎ ﺩﻭﻨﻙ ،ﻤﺎ ﺃﺠﻤﻠﻙ ﻋﺭﻭﺴﺎ ﺒﺭﻴﺌﺔ ،ﺃﻗﻭل ﻝﻙ ﺃﺤﺒﻙ ،ﻓﺄﻨـﺎ ﻝـﻙ ﻭﻝﻌﻤﺭﻙ ﺃﻜﻭﻥ ﺫﻝﻴﻼ ﻭﻴﻅﻬﺭ ﻀﻌﻔﻲ ،ﻭﺤﺩﻙ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺃﻜـﻭﻥ ﺍﻝﺤﺒﻴـﺏ ﻭﺃﺭﻴﻙ ﻜل ﻋﻼﻤﺎﺕ ﺍﻝﻘﻠﺏ ﺍﻝﺫﻝﻴﻠﺔ ،ﺘﻌﺎﻝﻲ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ﺍﺭﺠﻌﻲ ،ﺃﺴـﺘﺤﻠﻔﻙ ﺍﻝﻤﺠﻲﺀ ،ﻓﺴﻨﻴﻥ ﻏﺭﺒﺘﻲ ﻗﺩ ﻁﺎﻝﺕ ﺼﺒﺎﺤﺎ ﻭﻤـﺴﺎﺀ ،ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒـﻲ ﻤﻨـﻲ ﺤﺒﻴﺒﺘﻲ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺭﺍﻙ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ،ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﻲ ﻤﻨﻲ ﻓﺄﻨﺕ ﺘﻌﺭﻓﻴﻥ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺤﻨـﻭﻥ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ،ﻭﺃﺭﺤﻡ ﻤﻥ ﻝﻤﺴﺎﺕ ﺍﻷﻡ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺨﺩﻴﻙ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻷﻤـﺎﻨﻲ ﺘﺫﻫﺒﻨﻲ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴﻕ ،ﻝﻜﻨﻲ ﺃﻭﻗﻊ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺴﻔل ﺍﻝﻭﺭﻗﺔ ﺃﻨﻲ ﺍﺨﺘـﺭﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻀل ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴﻕ ،ﻁﻭل ﻏﺭﺒﺘﻲ ،ﻏﻴﺎﺒﻲ ﺠﻌﻼﻨﻲ ﺃﻓـﺘﺵ ﻋﻨـﻙ ﺩﻭﻤـﺎ ﻭﺃﻫﻭﺍﻙ ،ﺼﺭﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻝﻰ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻙ ﺃﻏﺭﻕ ﻓـﻲ ﺍﺨﺘﻴـﺎﺭﻱ ﻓـﻼ ﺘﺠﺤﺩﻴﻨﻲ ،ﺃﻨﺕ ﺒﺼﻤﺘﻙ ﺘﻘﺘﻠﻴﻨﻲ ...ﺍﺫﻫﺒﻲ ﻝﻌﺭﻴﺴﻙ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ...ﺃﻨﺎ ﺫﺍﻫﺏ ﻝﻔﻨﺠﺎﻥ ﻗﻬﻭﺘﻲ ﻭﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻝﻌﺠﻭﺯ ﻜﻲ ﺘﻘﺭﺃ ﻝﻲ ﻓﻨﺠﺎﻨﻲ ...ﻭﻭﺤﺩﺘﻲ ،ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻠﻔﻲ ﻤﻥ ﻴﺸﺩﻨﻲ ،ﻗﺎل" :ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺴﺄﻝﻙ ﻝﻠﻤﺭﺓ ﺍﻷﺨﻴﺭﺓ ،ﻭﻝﻥ ﺃﻁﻴل" "ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﺭﻴﺩ ﻴﺎ ﻫﺫﺍ؟" ﻗﻠﺕ ﺒﻐﻀﺏ ،ﻓﻘﺩ ﺸﺩﻨﻲ ﺒﻘﻭﺓ.
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ﻨﻅﺭﺕ ﺤﻭﻝﻲ ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺒﻲ ﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﻝﻭﺤﺘﻲ ﺃﺠﻠﺱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺤﺎﻓـﺔ ﺍﻝﻁﺭﻴـﻕ ﺍﻝﻘﺭﻴﺏ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻝﻨﻬﺭ ﺤﻴﺙ ﺍﻝﺒﺎﻋﺔ ﻭﺍﻝﻌﺎﺯﻓﻴﻥ ﺍﻝﻤﺘﺠﻭﻝﻴﻥ ...ﺇﻨﻬﺎ ﺭﻭﺤـﻲ ﺴﺒﺤﺕ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ ،ﺘﺭﻓﺽ ﻭﺍﻗﻌﻲ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻻﻋﺘﺭﺍﻑ ﺒﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﻤﻜﺘﻭﺒﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺠﻭﺍﺯ ﺴﻔﺭ ﻏﻴﺭﻱ ،ﺭﺤﻠﺕ ﻤﻌﻪ ...ﻝﻡ ﻴﺒﻘﻰ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﺴﻭﻯ ﺃﺼﺩﻗﺎﺀﻨﺎ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺭﺍﻫﻡ ...ﻝﻡ ﻴﺒﻘﻰ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﺴﻭﻯ ﺍﻝﺤﺎﻨﻭﺕ ﺍﻝﻘﺩﻴﻡ ﺃﻤـﺎﻡ ﺒﻴـﺘﻬﻡ ﻭﺫﺍﻜﺭﺘﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻠﻴﺌﺔ ﺒﺼﻭﺭﻫﺎ. ﻗﺎل ﻝﻲ" :ﻗﺩ ﺴﺌﻤﺕ ﺴﻤﺎﻋﻙ ،ﺴﺄﻝﺘﻙ ﻭﻓﻲ ﻜل ﻤﺭﺓ ﺘﺤﻜﻲ ﻝـﻲ ﻋـﻥ ﻗﺼﺔ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺴﻤﺎﻉ ﻗﺼﺹ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺸﺭﺍﺀ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻝﻠﻭﺤﺔ ،ﻭﻫﺎ ﻤﺜﻠﻤﺎ ﺃﺭﻯ ﻗﺩ ﺍﻨﺘﻬﺕ ،ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺸﺭﺍﺌﻬﺎ ﻭﻫﺫﺍ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﺩﻓﻌﻨﻲ ﻝﻼﻨﺘﻅﺎﺭ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﺘﻨﺘﻬﻲ ﻤﻥ ﻫﺫﻴﺎﻨﻙ ﻁﻭﺍل ﺍﻝﻭﻗﺕ ...ﻭﺍﻵﻥ ﻗل ﻜﻡ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻝﻤﺒﻠـﻎ ﺍﻝـﺫﻱ ﺘﺭﻴﺩﻩ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺎﺒل؟" ﺃﻭﻤﺄﺕ ﺒﺭﺃﺴﻲ ﺇﻝﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ...ﻋﺩﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺫﻜﺭﻴﺎﺘﻲ ،ﺭﺤﻠﺘﻲ ﺇﻝـﻰ ﻭﺍﻗﻊ ﺃﺭﻓﻀﻪ ...ﻻ ﺃﺭﻴﺩﻩ ،ﻴﺨﻠﻊ ﻜل ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﺍﻝﺠﻤﻴﻠﺔ ﻭﺫﺍﺕ ﻤﻌﻨﻰ ﻓﻲ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ،ﻗﻠﺕ ﻝﻪ" :ﻻ ...ﻻ ﻫﺫﻩ ﻝﻴﺴﺕ ﻝﻭﺤﺔ ﻜﻤﺎ ﺘـﺭﻯ ،ﺇﻨﻤـﺎ ﻫـﻲ ﺠﺜﻤﺎﻨﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﺒﻭﺍﺏ ﺍﻝﻤﻘﺎﺒﺭ ...ﺸﺭﻴﻑﹲ ،ﻤﻠﻙ ،ﺯﻋﻴﻡ ،ﺤﻁﻤﺘﻪ ﺍﻷﺫﻨﺎﺏ ﻭﺍﻝﺼﺨﻭﺭ ...ﺨﻀﺒﻭﺍ ﺸﻌﺭﻱ ﺒﺎﻝﺩﻤﺎﺀ ﻭﺃﺒﻰ ﺠﺴﺩﻱ ﻏﻴـﺭ ﺍﻝﺤﻨـﺎﺀ ﻭﺍﻝﻌﻁﻭﺭ ...ﻫﺫﻩ ﺭﻭﺤﻲ ﺤﻠﻭﻯ ﻝﻴﻭﻡ ﺍﻝﻌﻴﺩ ...ﻜﻠﻭﻫﺎ ...ﻓﻘـﺩ ﺩﺴـﺘﻡ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻝﻌﺭﻑ ﻭﺘﻘﻴﺄﺘﻡ ﻓﻲ ﺇﻨﺎﺀ ﺼﺩﻴﺩ ...ﻭﺤﺭﻴﺘﻲ؟ ﺸﺎﺏ ،ﻴﺎﻨﻊ ،ﺸﺎﻤﺦ 253
ﻭﺍﻝﻘﻬﺭ ﻭﺍﻝﻅﻠﻡ ﺸﻴﺦ ﻋﺘﻴﻕ ...ﺍﻨﺘﻅﺭﻭﺍ ...ﺴﻴﻤﻭﺕ ﻏﺩﺍ ﻓﻠﻴﺱ ﻝﻪ ﻋﻤﺭ ﻤﺩﻴﺩ ...ﺃﺃﻥ ﻗﺘﻠﺘﻤﻭﻨﻲ ﻗﺘﻠﺘﻡ ﺍﻝﻌﺭﺍﻗﺔ ﻭﺍﻝﺘﺎﺭﻴﺦ؟ ﻻ ﻓﺄﻨـﺎ ﻝـﻥ ﺃﺭﻜـﻊ ﻭﺭﻭﺤﻲ ﺭﻏﻤﺎ ﻋﻨﻜﻡ ﺴﺘﺘﺭﺒﻊ ﺃﻴﻘﻭﻨﺔ ﻓﻲ ﻤﻨـﺎﺯﻝﻜﻡ ...ﺇﻨﻬـﺎ ﺒﻐـﺩﺍﺩ، ﻋﺎﻝﻤﻲ ،ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ،ﻤﻌﺎﻨﺎﺘﻲ ،ﺃﻭﺩﻴﺴﺘﻲ ﻭﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ ﺍﻝﺫﻱ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺴﻌﺩ ﺍﻝﺒﺸﺭ ﻓﻴﻪ ،ﺃﻨﺎ ﻝﻥ ﺃﺒﻴﻊ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻲ ﻭﻻ ﺍﻝﻤﺎﻀﻲ"...
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