Lockdown Blues by Bjorn Saw

Lockdown Blues

NOTES DURING THE PANDEMIC 2020 - 2021

Notes on Spirit, April 2020 - April 2021

Why Spiritual Inquiry dislodges the Ego?

Examining the workings of the Ego happens much easier in a group setting. Because the Ego, our separate sense of self, no longer have the security of anonymity. It is exposed for all to see. Therefore it’s also easier to deal with. It doesn’t have the same persuasive ability to confuse you as it has when you’re all by yourself. Others will pick it apart even when you yourself believe in it. But it also helps since we will realise that our individual Ego is an impersonal expression, part of the human experience. We all have it, there’s nothing personal about it. So hopefully we will gain some objective distance from it and be able to discern it more closely, and because we all partake in it we can all relate. This makes it much easier and even fun. Because now it becomes part of our own awakening. We learn to discern what Ego is and what Ego is not, through participation in the mutual and shared investigation. At rst this can feel very di cult, the Ego exposed, but it’s a learning experience and we will soon come to terms with it when we realise we’re not alone facing it. Everybody deals with the same foe but through the discernment of sharp discrimination we will be able to cut through our own mind to the very essence of Being itself and nd ourselves in a context where all division and separation between us are gone. We will discover a unity and oneness rarely experienced. And this will not just be a lucky chance or happen by being in proximity to Saints or by falling in love. It will come about through a directed inquiry into our own heart and mind using the sword of discriminative wisdom, together with others in Satsanga; in the company of Truth. Through your own power you will set yourself free!

Critical Mass.

In order for it to take e ect we need to reach a certain number. I’m sure the celestial mathematicians know the equation. There’s a momentum created by persistence and continuity, a sel ess engagement where there’s nothing in it for you. We are creating a portal where others can enter at will. We’ll be the tent bearers that will hold up the canopy. Often too large to comprehend, it becomes a work and labour of love. Consistent attention is required, like when trimming the sails on an Oceangoing sailboat. Often seen as a mystery but governed by precise

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laws we stay the course and a passion for the art itself will see it through. It’s a birthing process. We are trying to bring something to life. Self inquiry and investigation is to actualise a larger perspective between us. Already a part of our own self we endeavour to take down barriers that keep us separate. Ideas and long held beliefs needs to be examined. Sometimes easy, sometimes hard, the emotional release can be overwhelming at rst but as the surface calms down we’re able to pick up speed if the winds are favourable.

Not Reliant on Emotional Content.

Sometimes we judge things according to its emotional content. We decide that without its e ect it doesn’t count. So we become dependent on a ‘high’ or a changed inner landscape where we go from ‘normal’ to a heightened feeling buzz. There are many occasions where a felt sensation elevates us and makes us feel great and more alive. But is it a true indicator of Truth? To tune into a heightened sense of self, where our nervous system is buzzing? Of course, with spiritual insight can come emotional excitement. We often mistake the emotionality for the insight and lay all importance on it, missing the all-important seeing and understanding that is the timeless part of any experience. Being reliant on the temporary emotional content means we will not accept our normal state of mind of holding any importance whatsoever, making us always look for new ‘highs’ and making us uncertain in our normal condition. This is why I seek to enlighten us to a completely normal experience of mind and body, just as it is right now and for us to discover the limitless and timeless quality inherent in it. This moment of non-activity is not nothing. It is lled with potentiality and we can become aware of it in dialogue and speak from it, letting and allowing it to move us. In Aikido, our heightened sense of interaction and tension gives us that unseen propelling force that is termed spontaneity and intuition. Yet it arises from a clear and present keen awareness and participation of the action. So we rely on that we can’t see, on that we can’t relate to any thing. We trust it to be our own being expressing itself directly from the source without having to bypass the mind rst. In dialogue it is di cult to grasp because we’re not necessarily under any pressure. But just as in a real dangerous situation, when we’re not aware under pressure we encounter a ight or ght reaction in our self. We contract and separate ourselves. If we can become accustomed to a gentle tension that heightens our senses, and remain ready to respond, we will be much more able to act and speak without the fear

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of contraction. This takes a conscious participation in your event and an open curiosity to what is actually taking place. From this we can realise that our inherent being is fully capable of expressing itself without the necessity of any outside event to prompt it into action. This is wherefrom poetry and inspired dialogue issue. This is wherefrom Aikido expresses itself from. It arises due to your prompting, due to your participation of your own event.

The Spiritual Self.

Spiritual training of Self-discovery and awakening consists of several disciplines:

* Self inquiry

* Meditation

* Satsang

* Service

* Submission

* Communion

1. Self inquiry, wanting to know and to understand the meaning of Life and your Self. Thinking and contemplating, studying and questioning. Introspection and discrimination.

2. Meditation, silently going within, calming the mind and body to reach tranquility and insight. Seeing and understanding the essence and nature of mind.

3. Satsang, in company with Truth. Association with realised people and teachers. Sharing your investigation with like-minded friends. Learning of what is your Ego.

4. Service, sel ess works and care for others. Engaged in help-activities in society. Forego self for the aid of others.

5. Submission, bowing down to the Self. Surrendering the Ego, the mental foe to awakening. Realising and actualising spiritual freedom.

6. Communion, sharing Oneness with others in a conscious awake natural state. Helping and enabling others to meet you in a liberated understanding.

The personal is small minded.

I shouldn’t say it! But in the light of the Self nothing compares. What makes the personal interesting is when it takes on a life larger than itself. When it serves a greater purpose. He or she is larger than life we

say, exclaiming the fullness of character and maturity. The potential of the personal lies outside of him or her yet is found deep within his or her Self. To forego the self for others means we lay our attention outside of ourselves, serving a bigger perspective and upholding a larger context. The personal self becomes subservient to a larger engagement, to life itself. This Self-focus does enhance the personal but without becoming narrow minded. When we are fascinated and exited by life itself, inner and outer equally, then our person easily follows. Personal su ering though, is not to be taken lightly. In personal su ering our heart goes out and we feel responsible. Wanting to help and to alleviate any pain. This compassion itself comes from a larger sentiment, from mankind and from Self itself. It’s the universal Heart that goes out to everyone in need. To move from the personal to the Self you only need to care more for the other than for yourself, being sel ess in your outlook. Didn’t Jesus say:

-He said to him, “What is written in the law? What is your reading of it?”

So he answered and said, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and ‘your neighbour as yourself.’

And He said to him, “You have answered rightly; do this and you will live.”

That’s why, in the end, life is nothing but service to our Lord. In service and submission to the Self, within and without. Only then will the personal serve its purpose within the greater meaning and context of Life itself. Love and compassion will be your soul reason for living.

For Your Eyes Only.

Listen to this; introspection, insight (vipassana), inquiry, investigation, envision, and this; look within, open your eyes, awaken. All referring to your gaze, how you see; your view and perspective, see the light, enlightenment, the spotless, immaculate vision of the Dharma. Your vision is never blurred. Seeing is never obscured. As light enters your eyes, everything is seen clearly. Nothing obstructs. Your mind can’t touch your seeing, your mind can’t deny the light. Your feeling doesn’t touch your pure vision, your feelings can’t betray what you see. It doesn’t matter what you think or feel, the light shines unhindered. Jesus said, “The light of the body is the eye: if therefore your eye be single, your whole body shall be full of light. But if your eye be evil, your whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you be darkness, how great is that darkness!”

Cutting through Doubt.

Recognise your own hesitation when you don’t understand. See the doubt rise within yourself when you can’t identify the Self. Don’t let anger get the better of you. Instead wait a little, sit back into yourself, and wonder. Return to your Self. Ahh doubt, you old foe, I see you. You won’t fool me no more. Doubt is that hesitation that makes you wonder. Wonder then, at the simplicity of letting it be. Don’t let doubt become your fear that causes anger and resentment. Be curious of doubt itself. Just an appearance in your psyche like any other emotion. Stay with it. Examine it with your clear apprehension and unclouded vision. Like when the Buddha, newly fully awakened, encountered Mara, the evil one;

“Now while the Blessed One was alone in retreat the thought arose in him: ‘I am freed from that penance; I am quite freed from that useless penance. Absolutely sure and mindful, I have attained enlightenment’. Then Mara the Evil One became aware in his mind of the thought in the Blessed One's mind, and he went to him and spoke these stanzas:

‘You have forsaken the ascetic path

By means of which men purify themselves;

You are not pure, you fancy you are pure.

The path of purity is far from you'.

Then the Blessed One recognised Mara the Evil One, and he answered him in stanzas: ‘I know these penances to gain the deathless—

Whatever kind they are—to be as vain

As a ship's oars and rudder on dry land.

But it is owing to development

Of virtue, concentration, understanding,

That I have reached enlightenment; and you, Exterminator, have been vanquished now'.

Then Mara the Evil One knew: ‘The Blessed One knows me, the Sublime One knows me’. Sad and disappointed, he vanished at once.”

(Tripitaka: Samyutta-nikaya 4, 1)

Calm and present awareness.

The basis of meeting always comes back to your presence of mind. In order to be able to meet others we need to have cleaned our slate, taken care of un nished business and worries. Like Jesus said, “Leave

Spiritual Freedom means Seeing through your Mind.

Free from being caught in your own misconceptions. Freedom means you’re able to recognise your own mind’s habit of intercepting and sabotaging everything that goes through it. Like a dirty lter that colour the waters that ow through it. Water in its nature is pure and unadulterated. Then you insert your own take on things, claim that you own it, or somehow think that the waters have anything to do with you. Like sitting on a riverbank thinking you are the river’s source and its end. Know well that the waters are gathered high in the mountains and ow through the land to exit in the sea. The river never dries up and as you see it ow by, you in the same manner see the minds ow never stop. Seeing through your mind is like sitting on the riverbank watching the river ow by.

Free Conversation.

When all reactions have died down and an ease permeates our dialogue, then we have reached a place where there are no defence mechanisms in place, no automatic fear responses, and joy and laughter comes easily. When there’s no more need to be, have and know, we are open and curious without any trace of arrogance. We are happy to rest in not-knowing. We see eye to eye and there is no di erentiation between us. Doubt and fear are long gone and in this nobody is special yet our unity far outshines any ones individual e ort. No more smart remarks or glib comments, the care and love for each other is self-evident. A gentle poking is all there’s needed when when we inquire into depth.

there your gift before the altar, and go your way; rst be reconciled to your brother, and then come and o er your gift.”

This is important so that we can focus on what’s right before us, on our task at hand. A spiritual dialogue has one objective; to commune with God/Spirit/Truth among and between us. Whether we meditate, pray, chant, prostrate or dialogue, we all need to be one-pointed in our concentration. Understanding means to ‘stand under’, to be open and humble in order to hear our Heart. We listen as we engage sel essly. We join in with interest and passion to seek that which belongs to all of us; our shared Spirit.

To make the Truth come alive! Between us and among us. That is its proof. Only through the enactment of truth between us will the Truth be revealed as the Unity it is. Only in communion will the Oneness be revealed. If we do not cut through our own mind, it will hinder us to come together. You will feel the situation to be unsatisfactory. Drawing out the story only makes it more evident that we’ve lost the directness to our own present conscious experience. Always refer back to your state of consciousness right now. No need to infer the past or the future. See how your mind insist to churn things over, see how you consistently avoid your present moment. To make our conversation count we need to come together in one view. We need to level out. Not to see ourselves as separate entities with separate lives. We need to nd the common ground that unites us. Not in opinion or ideas but in the shared experience of our bare consciousness, our present state of awareness. Simply that. Only from there will we be able to sort out all the questions we hold. We do not want to use the session to gather information for later introspection as opening up to the joint investigation will leave you with plenty to think about anyway. It is demanding yes, but we need to press the point that spiritual inquiry is di erent than just sharing our thoughts, opinions and feelings. We are endeavouring to come together as One, through conscious sel ess participation. To make it real, we have to give of ourselves, let the guard down and dare to engage. We are not meeting in the personal, nor in its a rmation, but in the totality of our experience; in our clear and present apprehension of our Being. Try to see the universal nature, the impersonal structure, underneath your own self. Why is this so important? Because if you insist on coming from the personal you’ll in fact deny everyone else the freedom to go beyond the personal to something we all can share. Leave your Ego at the door and enter a larger, fully encompassing space in which we all t. You’ll see, it’s much nicer.

Transformation in the time of Covid.

This time now is hard for many. For some it is heartbreaking and lled with pain. Many share each other’s struggles and nd sense and meaning in coming together. A few pause to re ect and change their life-styles. Some of us have the luxury of just stopping what we’re doing and relax. In a time of crises we have the opportunity to re ect upon our

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Enactment.

lives, in the greater context as well as in the smaller, more personal sense. This time can be a game-changer where we transform our lives for something higher, for something more sane and humane. To view our lives in a larger way helps to alleviate our sense of loneliness and opens perspectives that may never been considered doable because of the race we all were in. Never have the world stopped to consider these things before, never all of us at the same time. So then, let’s open our eyes together. Not to condemn but to join, to share and to help each other through and beyond these di cult times.

Speak Sincerely.

It takes some learning. To speak sincerely and in depth. Not having to wait for it to feel right. To dare to speak your mind, with your heart. Let thoughtfulness rule, passion lead, and sincerity speak, of the depth inside so it resonates outside. Let’s not wait till the whole world is converted. We’ll have to set the standard to which future generations will aspire to. We can’t claim inability when we very well know what is real and true. We can’t expect the sceptics to ever agree. Just as in Aikido, if they don’t want to play why bother trying to explain? Rather stand alone, speak your mind and join others who care for the same thing. A no nonsense approach to advance what we consider the most important; truth, love, and living a full and real life. This is why spiritual dialogue is necessary. If you sco at and dismiss it as mere talking you don’t understand its potential.

Meeting in the Truth is nobody’s domain. You can’t claim it when you’re together with others. But there is for certain a divide in the road. Remain passive and you’ll just be moving along the ow, enjoying the ups and downs of the ride. Be one-pointed and direct and follow the straight and narrow of true communion where you don’t matter any more. Very few are willing to give up themselves to walk together. Everybody is a solo journeyer and remain ercely proud in their achievements. Once we get over ourselves can we get together with others and share the deepest-most communion possible? Where we as an individual matters less than the Truth between us; our shared identity in Self. This takes humility and courage. Humility because you’ll have to give up yourself. Courage because you have to stand up for the Truth. Being nobody yet taking a stand in sel ess Love. But not solely by yourself but together with others. That’s the challenge. By yourself you can have it your own way but once we come together you’ll need to leave yourself behind. Can you join unhesitatingly and willingly, without

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sitting back and checking out the scene for a later critical assessment to cement your own biases? Very few have experienced sel ess communion with others, where their Ego has been suspended for all to partake and taste a unity unheard of. A Guru or Gods avatar on Earth used to be the traditional focal point for such surrender. If you say we no longer need a guru to submit to, then you have to prove that by surrendering your self among others.

Crazy Wisdom.

Being on a roll, enacted and empowered by an inner certainty they claim the Truth of who they think they are. Lining up their inner being with their outer expression they tap into a primordial source and intoxicated by the sheer force they let it rip. Doubtless and ruthless they don’t care. It’s all very spontaneous and intuitive they claim. Woe to the one on the receiving end. All in the name of Truth? Really? How about all in the name of Love? ‘Crazy wisdom’ teachers, many times labelled to Western spiritual teachers coming out of the Eastern religions. Half baked and half cooked spiritual aspirants getting high on their initial realisations. Feeling justi ed in dishing out the truth in any manner they see t, regardless of the e ect on others. In their vanity and pride they sco at any critique toward their behaviour. They have the audacity to claim that Truth itself justi es it. And many are fooled by their shenanigans believing it to be ‘higher’ teachings free from the con nes of morality and ethics. So lost are they, they stop any further self evaluation and hinder their own spiritual evolution to take place. Then they bear down on others to o oad on. How crazy is that? To sustain their fake immoral ground they partner up with likeminded and laugh at the doubters. How can we know this? Just watch as any self con dent group of people exurb their dominance based on their own self-belief. Raw power can be impressive but it is no more true than a poorly told lie. Power can’t justify itself. It must be contained within the care and concern that the true is Love itself. I’ve seen elderly wise monks admonishing young aspirants in their order to curtail their behaviour and to act out of care and genuine concern. Their change is astonishingly lovely to behold; from being self con dently exuberant and forthright to being sincere and helpful in a manner suited the occasion. Without the guidance of an elder generation some young aspirants riding high on their own self worth throw caution at the wind and happily assume the role of a teacher. Crazy wisdom teachers,

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The Unbearable Lightness of Being.

What makes a spiritual life di er from a normal one? This is very important to be able to distinguish. Because everyone enjoys the freedom Spirit endows us with. Whether conscious of it or not doesn’t really matter, we all, bar none, partake in a natural freedom that is inherent in all of life. So what makes spiritual freedom so special? And why do we need to know? Many people recognise their inherent freedom outside of spirituality and religion and follow their own conscience as to what is true. They have a bullshit detector to separate the fake from the real. Many times this is enough for them to lead a happy life, because they also realise that love is the guide in their lives. So far so good but many times they as well as the religious people fail to see the subtlety involved. Only once you begin to see that the nature of your being is made up of love itself can you begin to extract yourself from your individual self identi cation. Only then will you become aware of the substratum of a current owing through us all that is completely devoid of Ego. You will become acutely aware of how your personality either will adhere to this current or not. And when you ow with it you’ll nd an unbearable lightness of being that highlights the freedom inherent in life itself. But if you do not give yourself to the river of love, you will cling on to a separate sense of self and by doing so will close yourself o to everyone and everything else. Then your bullshit detector will mean nothing. Because you’ve opted to remain outside of the ow where we all meet as a single being where we no longer exist for ourselves but are part of a fragile and tender Truth. To know what is and what is not, is the di erence between Heaven and Hell. This can only create humility, and then we can nally bear it.

Spiritual Dialogue

Is not a heated argument. Nor is it agreeing to disagree. It’s not the sharing of opinions. Or the championing of ones ideas. A good argument is not a bad thing but it’s not a spiritual dialogue. Believing in your ideas is ok, and having an opinion is too. But it’s not the end all in a spiritual dialogue. We mean to come together, just as a gure-skating couple works towards a perfect match in movement. We aim for a unity

regardless of their power, must be seen for what they are. Don’t be fooled. Impressed yes but not fooled. Love is a many splendored thing.

in experience, a shared understanding that transcends the individual. We look to create together something we can’t achieve by ourselves. We need a few of us at least, just as any relationship is based on coming together. We endeavour to see the truth objectively. The Truth Absolute that we all partake in. An immanence of being we all share equally; our present conscious awareness. We just need to part with our habitual self referencing, leaving aside for the moment the ‘I, me and mine’.

If you have something to say, join the conversation. But please make it pro-active and participate in the dialogue and clearly state your thoughts and be willing to listen as well. We are not looking for the best argument but are endeavouring to come together in one view. One view we all can recognise and understand. This is but the rst step, coming together in a shared experience. This will be our platform for any further activity and engagement. From here we can explore everything. We can pick the Ego apart without fear, resolve our di erences, see eye to eye, educate ourselves. Our individual lives enrich the unity and our individual knowledge informs the whole. We come to partake in our human history, in its evolution as well as in its pain and su ering. Each one of us will become like a deep pool of Life where the whole of existence can be seen, past, present and future, in its re ection.

One Self vs oneself.

“I am the universe”, O Sensei said. Jesus said: “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be One, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be One as we are One— I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete Unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”

We can experience Oneness by ourselves and we can experience Oneness together with many others. People will swear by the experience they’ve realised. What if you’ve realised both perspectives? Which one is greater? In one you are in the centre of it all, in the other no one is in the centre. Unity implies all, so an individualised Oneness will fundamentally be limited. But so often the individual will not see it like that because he sees things di erently. He sees only himself and experiences everything from the centre and everything else is outside of him. This can for an immature person, lead to an incredible arrogance

Entering the Sanctuary.

First you encounter, on either side of the entrance, two erce guardian lions representing your both hands. Your outermost protection, your rst line of defence. One yin and one yang, making sure your intention is correct, that your mind and heart is pure. Their wide opened eyes won’t leave you alone. Then we enter beneath the outer gate to the long hidden and bent entranceway inside the arms. Before the inner gate we

and hubris in relationship to other people. Many times they’ve lost any kind of self re ection and believe themselves to be above the human race. This is tragic and a great shame. It causes so much confusion for seekers and nders alike. Most normal people see it as it is; arrogant self-conceit. No doubt it’s a great realisation and will endow you with deep understanding but if you still believe in a separate sense of self you’ll miss the universal and impersonal aspect of Truth and of spiritual Reality. Once you’ve see that we are all the very same Self you can no longer separate yourself due to your depth of knowledge. If we are One, we are all One. Jesus knew this as he prayed to his father for that to become a reality among his followers. And that prayer was ful lled on Pentecost when tongues of re came down into the room they were all gathered and entered them; “Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and lled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of re that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were lled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.”

So please realise that the second coming of Christ is bigger than the rst coming. It begins in one and then extrapolates into many without loosing any of its coherence. Unity among many does not diminish the unity in oneself but now it’s seen as inseparable. Each reinforce the other. Christians share in this unity through the Communion of the Holy Spirit which binds them to Jesus as their nucleus. Now it’s time to spread this unity far and wide, outside of any set structure. Embrace the oneness that can be experienced by us all once we see through our Ego. This takes a little work and e ort but the foundations are there already. The old Israelites had the tent of meeting under which they gathered, escaping the hot desert sun. In the cool shade of Nirvana they gathered as one people, one family. The tent bearers knew this as they carried it from place to place. Anyone could enter. Will you help holding up the tent canopy?

stop to wash our mouth and hands in clean water to purify, then we cross the threshold into the shrine complex, into our chest area. We come upon the main entrance of the inner shrine, our heart; We pull the twined rope attached to a bell to boldly awaken the Kami, our bodily posture all aligned. We bow and clap to announce our presence, throw some coins as a token o ering to placate the gods, to make amends for the things we’ve done. If we are expected and invited into the inner sanctuary we take o our shoes, kneel and bow in front of the mirror of Kamisama where Amaterasu reside and we see our own true face re ected in her light. Beyond this point is where only the priest can go, to the holiest of Holy, the hearts of heart, where our Spirit is enshrined. This is the pure land of the bodhisattva where no mortal man or woman can tread.

Being Free.

Is not about being liberal minded. Spiritual freedom is a radical shift in who you believe yourself to be. It’s the end of a life you knew yourself to be and a beginning of a life without allegiance to any set form or xed identity. You no longer think in the way you used to. You can’t come from an acceptable idea of liberalism or even from a more extreme set of idea of political rebellion. Spiritual freedom is not a left-wing socialist phenomena. Spiritual freedom will have social consequences but it’s not political and social activism. We can’t take sides because everyone is in the same boat. Everything becomes a personal responsibility and all must comply. No one is exempt. When you hold yourself to account, then automatically everyone else is measured accordingly. But it’s not about being liberal minded and being open. Albeit nothing wrong with that in itself yet it doesn’t convey the freedom Spirit impose. Spirit takes away everything. It lifts you o this planet and you’re able to see with eyes that do not conform anymore to the accepted norms of society. It’s no longer we versus them, the good versus the bad, but is now a radical lens of discrimination that cuts to the core of the human dilemma. Homeless and Free. Lost identity. No race, no nation and no religion. No ag and no allegiance. Stateless and homeless. Being itself no longer nds identity in either name or ability. When you break with your own history you no longer belong to anything speci c. You’re no longer a Jew or Arab, no longer male or female, no longer American or Swede, no black or white. Only when you completely step away from everything you’ve ever been will you be able to return to the very simple person that you are. Now free from the need to defend or to justify. We

If Truth is a perspective?

If Truth is a perspective that you see, that is evident wherever you look, then it’s a black and white scenario that is objectively true to all. It’s a clear perception before adding commentary or designation, prior to your own interpretation and naming of it. It’s prior to your nationality, it comes before your Faith, it doesn’t side with any party, it’s free from opinion. Because it’s free from imposition anything added will be seen for exactly what it is. We will be able to distinguish between sel sh and sel ess considerations. The personal will be seen as a biased limited xed view that is due to an ignorance of a holistic larger perspective that encompasses all. A True perspective that is not dependent on who you are; Jew or Arab, Christian or Muslim, man or woman, Western or Eastern, White or Black. Realise that if you see any con ict or dilemma from any particular point of view, you will by default, fall into your chosen category and therefore be limited in your apprehension of it. Instead loose your biased one-sided view and embrace a larger perspective that both include all bipartisan agendas and is able to stand apart from all of them. Doing so you’ll be able to see each situation as it is and the very straightforward action that each must take to dissolve con ict. It’s not easy but it is possible. But in order to nd this Holy Grail we must dare to question who we are.

Cognitive Understanding.

Does not de ne who you are. Once again, what you understand does NOT de ne you as a person. Only what we do and say de ne who and what we are. Why is this an important distinction to be made? Because in the spiritual world many assume that insight constitutes realisation. Meaning, some believe because they see and understand a certain depth of who they are, that that then de ne and constitute themselves. Sometimes leading to an overin ated sense of self in comparison to others not having the same depth of seeing. While that may be true they miss the all important point that with this depth of seeing comes the acknowledgement of seeing the non-di erence between us. Making

do not judge mankind but we see clearly, free from any political agenda and social reform. It doesn’t mean we don’t care. Of course we care, but now from a vantage point where everything is transparent. All is seen, all history and all people. There is only one Truth.

it very clear who has the heart and love of a human being. I much rather spend time with an ‘unenlightened’ individual that have a heart of gold than with a sel sh Saint. Why? Because if I have eyes to see with I’ll realise the only true measure is how we conduct ourselves. What comes out of our mouth and our acts convicts us. What we do constitutes our level of realisation. Then and only then can we begin to speak about unity and oneness. Though we may or may not have a depth of understanding that in no way need to hinder us from seeing and acting as there are no obstacles or separation. The mirror of Truth reveals everything just as it is without discrimination. So if you’re truly free, you’ll see no di erence and you’ll act as if there’s none. Then because you don’t hold yourself apart you can meet anyone in the truth, no matter who they are. I’m not saying everything suddenly will run smoothly or work out brilliantly but at least you give the relationship a chance. You give your relationship to life itself a chance. Since I know you are me I will not compromise that by de ning you as di erent from me. In no way whatsoever. Then what we say and do will reveal who we are. Every time you open your mouth. This is actually plain common sense among normal people.

Direct Insight into Reality.

Look through the surface. Stare deeper, passed the obvious. I see You, my own re ection, return. The Truth of who you are, is not skin deep. It’s hidden within. Now why would you speak ‘about’ it? Like you’d speak of something you’ve lost? If it’s your present experience why not parade it as who you are? In everything you say and do, no need to hesitate. Lead it out into the light, like a newborn baby, not fully accustomed to the bright lights and still nding its feet. Not to worry, it will grow into a human being. Don’t lecture me about this or that, it hurts my ears. A divine birth is by its very nature pure. That’s why the Magi came and paid their respect. Shake o the shrouds of the past, let the Kriyas set you free as you rise out of the waters. Behold a queen in our midst.

No Need to Hide.

Sometimes it’s a Burmese practice to shield behind a large handheld fan when disseminating the Dhamma; the teachings of the Buddha, in order not to distract from the message inherent in the service given.

That is a valid and fair reason not to personalise the delivery. Yet sometimes we nd people hiding behind an exterior facade, not letting their true self roam freely, but choosing when and if to let it out in short bursts of controlled engagement. To be mindful and careful of how one comes across is many times an admirable quality in a person yet it can also sti e a free expression; an unguarded approach of how to be. Of course, we need to tend the reins of our senses so we don’t let the Ego prevail. So in fear of exposing ones lesser admirable qualities the curbing of one’s expression makes sense. Yet if you want to be free, you need to allow for a natural and spontaneous learning to occur. Just as you’d let a child play by him or herself, yet retaining a close eye for its safety. Then the child will grow up with the freedom to learn yet with the parents loving oversight. Restricted access, though valid on occasion, should not be the norm. Let your hair down and trust the beauty of the Truth to set you free. In it there is no remorse. The Dhamma will then be who you are, and there will be no need to hide it from another, and your face will tell all there is need to tell.

The Sacred Thread.

More than any teaching, scripture or dharma, your own lifeline contains the living realisation of the Absolute Truth. Follow it back in time and you’ll realise you’ve always been free. Even long before you were born your event began and it will continue long after you’re gone. In every moment, at any passage in time, your story stands revealed. It is what gives your life meaning whether or not you’re aware of it. In hindsight it’ll all become clear. Your tears and despair will turn into laughter and joy. For there never was a time when you weren’t free, nor were there ever a time when you did not know it. And because your timeline is utterly personal you’ll have an intimate grasp of reality as it is through the ages. Nowhere will there be lack of knowing nor of understanding. When you face another will they see what you see? Will they see their own face in yours? Only the Ego can object, the true self recognises its re ection in the mirror. Now everybody’s life story becomes yours. We’ve lived billions of lives in consecutive lifetimes, weaving together in nite lifelines into a cloth that makes up the fabric of the universe.

In Search of Truth.

There are two ways in which we can apprehend Truth. First we have to come to a clear understanding and realise that there is one fundamental Truth that will enable us to see clearly. This Truth is the same truth for all of us, whether or not we agree doesn’t come into it. It’s the Truth of existence itself, the very nature of who we are in essence. The very nature of God. It’s the blank canvas upon which we are all drawn. The underlying nature of Being. It’s not just each and every ones true nature but is equally the very substratum of all things; animate and inanimate. We call it Spirit. There’s no pocket in space that is devoid of it, it lls the universe to the brim. This universal Truth is cognisant. We know. Deep inside we’re already aware of it. When we open our eyes we see it. When we awake we apprehend it. Then we’ll realise we’re part of a complete whole, an undivided Self that is true for all. This is the Absolute Truth that will set you free!

With this in place, you will be able to distinguish between things. You will be able to see the true state of any thing in particular. The true shape in every detail, you’ll be able to see good from bad, true from false. You’re no longer using your personal preference or inclination because you see things objectively now. You see things as they are, without needing to impose a predetermined or assumed lter onto things. The reason you’re able to do this now is because we have an objective blueprint as it were, underlying our observations: Truth Absolute, which is not a neutral vacuum but a living conscious Spirit whose Being is Love itself; an altogether 100% positive quality that serves as the standard upon which we see and measure what’s real and what’s not. Based on the absolute truth we’ll see things as they are, without judging, without objection, and furthermore we’ll be able to draw out the strands of truth; the inherent traces of the real in all things. Because Truth is everywhere and exists in every minuscule thing, it’s possible to extract and distil it from any situation or event. We will be able to apprehend the goodness hidden away even in the darkest of places. We will be able to draw out and highlight the truth inherent even in the smallest of things. Since nothing is devoid of Truth it can be detected and we will see things as they are. But we don’t focus on the limitations, instead we draw out the real. We have no time to condemn because we’re much more interested in the true. We don’t personalise as Truth is so much bigger than any individual. So Truth becomes a living, moment to moment revelation that brings out the good in all things. Where the light falls no darkness can prevail. Since there is only this moment now, we can’t postpone or delay our response. Will you

choose to condemn or to save this time we have together? So can you see how the universal Absolute Truth supports and enables the truth in every little thing? How everything is seen just perfectly in the light of truth?

Research and anthropology.

In order to sort Truth from the cultural matrix it inhabits, quite a bit of research is needed. In order for us to be spiritually free we need to understand the origin and context from where spiritual experience touch man. Where in the evolutionary timeline does it appear and what are the signs? To what does it refer and to whom is it addressed? Spiritual awakening always happens within a context and is framed by its cultural surroundings. Can we distil the Truth (if any) from any and all expressions of the spirit? Can we be able to see past the cultural garb and timeline and grasp the inspiration that touched those people? Can we identify with them and feel and see what they do? Without having to do and live what they did? Can we learn by observing? Can we stand free without needing to reject nor approve but be enriched by the nature of experience itself? Anthropology is the study of the context in which we nd ourselves. Spiritual experience is not always enlightening, awakening is not always guaranteed. Can you stand apart and see everything as it is, including spiritual experience? Objectively assess the Truth displayed. What then is spiritual freedom? Where can we detect it and nd it? Who knows it? So much of spirituality is not at all teachings of liberation. Can we distinguish and learn what’s what and not be fooled or lured by the trappings of religion and mysticism. Can we nd the Truth in the marketplace of Spirituality? Can we understand and see clearly the di erence between beliefs and practices? Can we observe and learn?

What the Ego fears.

Exposure to Truth. Ego in the throws of jealousy and desire turns wrathful when confronted with itself. When asked to leave the Ego goes from pleasantly abiding in the self to raging anger. When not challenged all the sides to the Ego happily co-inhabit the same space as your true self. It even derives much of its stature from the real self. It usurps the rightful balance between them and can at worst su ocate the pristine self. So when taken to task it will defend itself tooth and nail. In extreme

cases this is what exorcism is all about; a spiritual battle between truth and untruth. Confront the Ego with Truth and it will have to succumb in the end if the pressure is kept up.

Spirit Possession.

Is not something to play around with. It is real so we need to understand what it is. Ego can sometimes be described as your own demons inside, fears that you battle and that sometimes can get the better of you. Ego-pride manifests through ignorance, fear and anger; the in ated sense of self-worth and of mistaken self identity. So in this sense we can speak of ‘possession’ by the sel sh Ego and of its demon qualities when challenged. But there is also something else much less known and accepted in our modern Western society that refers to spirit possession; another entity or spirit taking possession of your soul. This is an ancient phenomena in all cultures and religion have always have had to deal with it through exorcism and the like. We nd it in the history of Christianity as well as in Buddhism and Hinduism. Shamanistic and animistic cultures deals very much with the spirit world, and because we can’t simply dismiss it we should make the e ort to understand it. Anything that stands in the way of the Truth will by its very presence obstruct the light of any human being. Therefore, depending on the severity of the delusion, we counter the obstruction accordingly. There’s a level of acceptable ignorance in society that most humans tolerate and live with, but when it goes overboard and become excessive we all have to deal with it. Personally, we are forced to grow up and mature into real human beings, recognising Ego to be a self serving limited sense of self. When we are ‘lost’ in our small self identity we and others will su er from the consequences, either physically or mentally or both. On rare occasions, there can be possession of outside forces, or spirits, that overwhelm the autonomy of the individual, taking over his or her mental faculties. Mediums, shamans and specially trained priests deal with the spirit world on a regular basis and knows of the dangers inherent in this vast realm. To rid ourself of unwanted and destructive qualities, whether they be self propagated and self in icted or conditioned traits, we all can need a little help. If we’ve been possessed we surely must need outside help as our own judgement may not be strong enough to deal with it. Whether or not Ego is imposed from without or from within doesn’t really matter; it has to be confronted with the Truth. This is what the spiritual battle is all about. Many metaphors and much symbology refers to the Egos destructive

inference on the individual. Everything from small minded petty sel shness to full scale spirit possession, from the seemingly harmless to the very seriously dangerous destruction of the individual.

I’ll tell you a story of when I rst became aware of the possibility of possession of another entity. I was in Dharamsala, the exile residence of the Dalai Lama in northern India. I was visiting one of the Tibetan monasteries while they were conducting a day-long prayer ritual/ ceremony in the main hall beneath a giant Buddha statue. A steady stream guests and Tibetan pilgrims kept ling in as they payed their respects and bowed in front of the statue. I had sat down to the side taking the whole scene in and I noticed this young Tibetan woman hesitating as she came up to the front of the large hall. She turned to face the congregation of the assembled monks that included many young boys, novices in the order. The monks sat in rows with their prayer papers in front of them on low running tables, chanting away as they were continuously being served tea by several young attendants. Incense, bells and drums created a very impressive atmosphere together with the nonstop chanting. A very in-vocative setting. This woman seemed to be taken by the rhythm and the force of the prayers. She became xed to the oor while many led passed her on their way out. I could see how she began to be transformed in her posture and in her facial expression, taking on the fearsome look of one of the wrathful Tibetan deities we often see displayed in their frescos and thangkas. Her hand movements became twisted and turned like she was performing a ritual dance. Her body took on an altogether otherworldly quality and she began uttering noises between her teeth, spitting, stomping, as her eyes opened wide and stared as one possessed. This was now something else, no longer the young woman that had entered the monastery. The elderly monks looked on unimpressed and just continued chanting while this was going on right in front of the whole congregation. Many of the novice boys were frightened and hurried away. I’d never seen anything quite like it. It lasted several minutes before the frenzy abated in her. After a little while she was helped by a few monks to the adjacent room. I went after them to see what happened. She was seemingly utterly exhausted, sitting resting on a chair, eyes closed. I spoke to the monk and asked him what had happened? He said that this woman had had a previous possession of this spirit and that they were in the beginning stages of nding out who it was and what it wanted. Both the woman and the senior monks were well aware of this phenomena and were following it up as a matter of rule. In time they would nd out what it wanted or needed and they would proceed to ask it to leave the woman alone or having to expel it.

All in a normal days work for a Tibetan lama in the Himalayas. Who would have known. I walked away intrigued. And just as if to sum it up, I ran into the woman on the street the next day, we passed each other and smiled knowingly to each other. She was back at her normal self, simply a young woman in a hill station of Himachal Pradesh.

Come Together.

Truth is re ected in what we do and in how we meet each other. Anything less than a perfect realisation will cast a shadow of separation over our coming together. When there is no other you will only see your self as you meet. A perfect re ection from a perfect mirror. Perfect here refers to ‘complete’, ‘full’ and ‘without lack or aw’. Just as the Buddha’s Eightfold Noble Path use samma ditthi to describe ‘right’ view. People, you and I, don’t need to be perfect in order to be able to meet, we just need to be able to see eye to eye. To see each other as we are one self. No division, no separation. This is perfect view, -or perfect seeing. In this re ection everything is seen and Truth stands out as the pristine Self that we both are. This is also the true cause of humility; when you see yourself just as you are. There’s nowhere to hide. Dare to stand together in this re of puri cation. Dare to burn till there’s nothing left. Love is forgiving so trust in the process. Over time you’ll learn how to give in, surrender and allow for the Truth to permeate you fully. There’s nothing to gain, nothing for you to achieve, there’s no foothold for the Ego to remain. This is true subjugation, where your sel sh sense of self; ‘the conceit of I’ as the Buddha expressed it, has no place.

Around the Corner.

When you come around the corner and bump into someone you know, how do you respond? At that moment what do you meet them with? That rst exchange, before you can rally the troops of the past, what is it that you meet them with? A smile, a grin or with a neutral expression? Can you simply be who you are? Free from conditions? When your eyes meet, what do you carry with you? Can you put down what you hold on to and say hello? Now at this moment of meeting, does your past matter? Does your accumulated knowledge and skill matter? No I didn’t think so. Nothing you have can make a di erence to that rst contact. In like manner, when you rst bump into God, or Truth, nothing that you

have, nothing that you know, and no matter who you are, matters in that rst contact. Heart to heart, nothing held up between you, you meet as you are. Simply that. Can you now meet everything and everyone in the like manner; without needing to be anyone, without needing to have anything, without needing to know anything. If you can be this ‘empty’ you will be able to see things clearly. This is always the starting point. This is where we meet and commune.

Archetypes.

Heroes from our childhood, supernatural beings, demigods and creatures of myth. In India the most revered of hymns and mantras is the Hanuman Chalisa. It tells of the immense powers and extreme devotion of Hanuman; the ideal devotee of Ram (God). The rst introductory Doha (couplet) begins with the word shrī, which refers to Shiva, who is considered the Guru of Hanuman. The auspicious form, knowledge, virtues, powers and bravery of Hanuman are described in the rst ten Chaupais (verses). Chaupais eleven to twenty describe the acts of Hanuman in his service to Ram, with the eleventh to fteenth Chaupais describing the role of Hanuman in bringing back Lakshman to consciousness. From the twenty- rst Chaupai, describe the need of Hanuman's Kripa (Grace). At the end, Tulsidas (poet author) greets Lord Hanuman with subtle devotion and requests him to reside in his heart and in the heart of all Vaishnavas (devotees). The concluding Doha again requests Hanuman to reside in the heart, along with Ram, Lakshman and Sita. I remember reading a translation in English while in India and marvelled how akin to our present day comic-book superheroes it sounded. Extolling the virtues and powers of a special being endowed with extreme moral judgement accompanied with supernatural powers to ght the good ght. Setting an example for us to follow or at least aspire towards. To be right and just. I asked Swami Krishnananda why this hymn was considered the most important one in India. He said, and I understood the gist of it, that reading it or chanting it one would be lled with those virtues described therein. Simply by putting oneself into that frame of mind one could experience the elation and a rmation of such a stand in what is right and in what is good. Self a rmation of the highest order as it were. Isn’t that what our superheroes do to us? They make us believe in the just and right cause of all things despite their all too ‘human’ (Hanuman=monkey) foibles. They exhibit the best qualities that we like to have ourselves; wisdom, courage, strength and bravery, compassion and love. They serve as our

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prototypes to be the best we can be. And in one way they are a re ection of godhead itself, of the deepest and most profound part of ourselves. Hanuman is in fact Shiva himself, incarnated as the monkey god as the ardent devotee of Ram, showing us that humility is the supreme example of a true expression of humanity. I think this last piece of knowledge has been lost from our present day heroes, who often nd themselves in a spiritual or existential struggle of knowing exactly who they are. Something never lost on Hanuman. Yet in the end, they always come through victorious. Di erent cultures, di erent archetypes, old and new, serve the same purpose. To raise our awareness to a higher ideal. Shinto priests in their ornament robes and mystical rituals conjure up deep sentiments from within, touching maybe an unconscious part of ourselves. Religious ceremony and elaborate spiritual symbolism stir the unknown within. Archetypes we recognise without even knowing why. Embrace it then, as something healthy, something eternal that remain the same through the ages, a common ancestor we all share alike.

The Gradual Path of Surrender.

The spiritual path is de nitely a progressive way. Not necessarily in a step by step orderly fashion like some like to make it out to be. Certain schools of thought do however have a very linear process of development and with the right kind of guidance can follow a set out course. Many of these paths are traditional and are tried and tested over centuries. Included in these are the meditative methods of the Theravada school of Buddhism; their Vipassana and Samatha progressive insight training follows clearly outlined signposts along the way. Likewise Chinese Taoist esoteric and alchemical studies follows certain developmental stages in order to reach the higher achievements and aims. These progressive paths rely very much on teachers already accomplished in these methods. So this kind of personal development happens within a closed system. It’s like as if you study within a certain school and continue to higher education following a speci c line of interest, you know more or less what you will get out of it. It tells you so on the tin. You will graduate with a diploma and a certi cate of pro ciency. You study a certain method and the outcome is given if you follow the instructions with the guiding hand of the teachers. Others do not follow any speci c line of inquiry in the scholastic sense but strike out to learn about life and truth from many and varied sources, gaining insight and understanding along the way. One essential thing we will

come across on our journey is the need for surrender or submission at one point on our path. This will be true whether or not you follow a prescribed path or not. And if you are set within a scholastic system you’re bound to see it within that context. Yet the very same phenomena can and will be encountered outside of any formal agreement if you pursue Truth to the point of spiritual liberation. Guidance, however, is needed outside as much as it’s given inside of any tradition and realised teachers may appear in the esh when the time is ripe. Inspiration and intuition, deep study and a willingness to go all the way is required whether inside or outside of any system. There is a Path and there is a Goal, make no mistake about it. Just as growing up requires learning so does spiritual freedom require a gradual path of surrender to which we have to succumb. To shed our ignorance is not easy but it can be done through diligent study and introspection. A set out path may appeal to you but in the end, it’s your willingness to go all the way that will determine the outcome.

Salvation and Grace.

Are absolute ingredients if ones Faith is going to stand a chance. Uncalled-for Grace is a must on your spiritual path. There is no way you can lift yourself in your hair. Grace that brings you to your knees is what’s needed. Even the best of methods won’t help you in the end. So Salvation by Grace is required. It’s only the beginning step of many but it will stay with you as the day you were set free. There is no going back once you’ve seen your own inherent freedom. Yet it is only the starting point of a conscious engagement with your new realisation of who you are. When you realise you have always been free, you were never unfree and you’ll never be unfree. Just as you are, right now, is complete. Yet there is so much to learn and unlearn. For a Christian, coming to Jesus means he has taken the burden from your shoulders; he has set you free forever. Love is now your paramount guiding light; whatever happens now is seen through the lens of love. It awakens your true conscience and you become aware of falsehood inside and outside of yourself. This is where the work is needed, to dare to look honestly at oneself. In order for us to grow with our spiritual realisation, salvation alone is not enough. We need to engage the meaning and purpose of the nature of body, soul, Spirit and Truth. We need to learn to distinguish between human nature and spiritual Nature, Ego and Self. Grace and Salvation should be enough to break the back of the Ego; your limited personal sense of self, and usher you into a limitless

context of Spirit or Self, where your eyes are opened to the wholeness of all things, to the love underpinning all existence. Yet we need to deepen our experience, discard our di erences, and nd the common ground upon which we see eye to eye, where we see no other. Only brothers and sisters in the living light of Truth.

How do you sustain your spiritual freedom?

What do you do each day that will con rm your Faith? What keeps you focused on your inherent true spiritual nature from day to day? How do you a rm it within your self? If I would ask a priest, a monk or a nun, I’m sure they’d tell me a whole list of things they’d do. Part of their vocation but also individually, I’m certain they have their favourite ways of worship, prayer, study, conducting ceremony and service, meditation and contemplation, commune and mass of course. What do we do, as laypeople? Pray, read and study? Dialogue, write and think? Meditate and Yoga? Be bold, give your heart to it and it will be recompensed. Spend time alone, with God. Walk in nature. Dare to believe. Go deep. Ask and it shall be given. Meet others in the Faith. Trust, love and live. What do you do?

The Lay of the Land.

I’ve just discovered I’ve carried the landscape of the Swedish psyche with me in the form of our relationship to nature. It’s part of our connection to the land; to the forest and to the lakes, to the trees and to our wildlife. We are very much privileged in Sweden to have so much nature around us. The forest and lakes are just around the corner, never far away. The sea and our mountains not too far o . We have an inscribed law; ‘Allemansrätten’ which means ‘All Mens Right’ that mirrors what we have always taken for granted and is natural to us; the right to roam anywhere we choose, to walk, visit, camp, hike, and sh, across all of our land whenever we’d like. Private land is not o limit as long as we respect the owners rights as well. We never really think about this law as it is something we never question. It is who we are. It’s our land and it belongs to all. Nature in Sweden has very much replaced religion to a large extent. Not that nature ever has been excluded in our mindset but it is what has prevailed as organised spirituality has declined. We lay our trust in what has always been there since long before Christianity came along. There is mystique and

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melancholy in our nature worship, a natural a ection and belonging. There’s also upliftment, rejuvenation and health associated with nature, which we modern Swedes completely embrace. Our fondness for the saga never fall into the superstitious. Trolls and elves are part of the very forest we love and protect. We will defend their objective reality whenever an outsider dare to question their existence. Fun aside, this connection to our nature is very much part of the traditional Swedish psyche even to the point where we are not even aware of its in uence. So I became aware of this landscape within myself, a ording me maybe more than the regular Englishman a sense of space and wilderness within, that I’ve carried with me from childhood. Part of which I see is very much the reason for my natural freedom and joy. My natural heritage from where I come, a culturally informed interior landscape of my mind. It’s quite sweet.

Return of the Dead.

They return all abbergasted, having realised we are messing up our deal. So they tag along for any opportunity to set us straight. They admonish and they encourage, while poking fun at our expense. Like ex-convicts trying to stop us from making the same mistakes. They make us nervous and a little bit scared. The priests all look serious and can’t have a laugh, not knowing what to do with these freeloaders, but they have them on a short lead with the Shimenawa rope. Not really at home and can’t stay long, they leave with the tide. Back into the sea where they belong.

Just beneath the surface.

There’s a world of unseen beauty and love. We usually never get a lookin, but in times of despair they may grant us a peek to lift our spirits. Or rather, more truthfully, it’s our vulnerability that opens the door to the subtler layers of our psyche. Similar in a way to the kids pool area, where on the surface there’s so much clamour and noise but once you dive under it all goes quiet and subdued. A di erent world appears, where movement slows down and thought becomes crystal clear. And just as being under water you are enclosed within a sense of wholeness. Our vulnerability has opened a door to the spirit world where pride and ego has no place. Hardship and pain may bring you to this point, but you may equally nd the doorway through sincerity and

pure desire. Wanting to go beyond duality, beyond the known, letting yourself go. At night as you sleep, oating on the surface of your existence, become aware of the depth beneath you. Don’t be afraid. Like when we were kids and learned how to oat, still not pro cient in swimming, we’re told to relax, lay on our back and extend our arms and legs trusting our buoyancy. How we loved alternating between oating on our back, face in the sun, and head down with our cyclops watching beneath the surface. Floating between two worlds on a paper thin surface separating them. These were the best memories and we forgot about time. This netherworld is rarely visited and like in lucid dreaming you’re aware of its evanescent nature and it will linger as a faint fragrance.

You Cannot Be Serious!

There has to be a level of sincerity when approaching the spiritual side of things. We can’t keep treating it like it doesn’t mean much. Keeping it light in order not to upset anyone’s feelings just reveal a lack of seriousness. It never amounts to much if we avoid facing the reality of our situation. Laughing it o , making fun of any attempt to having a serious conversation is the easy way out. But by doing so you’ll never taste the deeper implications of a spiritual perspective in relationship with other people. Because it is in relationship the true extent of our knowledge and ignorance become apparent. Only in the mirror of re ection can we see ourselves clearly. Dare to be real without making excuses. In order for a spiritual dialogue to go deep we need to be more serious than ever before. The super cial Ego doesn’t want to go there and will try to skirt the subject using any pretext to avoid scrutiny. Being serious is a wonderful quality of the true self. It sets us free to be full of love and care for every thing in this world. It respects life and everything in it. It sets you apart and brings you into communion. It shows you how to be a human being.

Human Potential.

When I was young I wondered what is the best thing a human can become? I wondered what I should aspire to. What was and what is the human epitome? If we were to ful l the potential inherent in being human, what would it be? If we were to follow the blueprint to its maximum what would it look like? A hundred percent person? ‘Me’ in

the best possible way? So I looked at di erent career moves to see which one would suit this human experiment. What line of education would maximise this evolution? Who were the people that stood as role models for this kind of human development? I gured that this human form must have a speci c peak in its evolutionary process of coming into its own. What is that peak potential that is contained within the very structure of our DNA? Can we re on all cylinders at once? Can we become what inherently is possible for us. To reach our max development? Where do we look for guidance?

This is essential if we believe there is such a thing as an inherent prototype ascribed to human beingness. Of course, you can choose to do what you like, but does that automatically transfer into a full human development? Maybe we need to choose this course in order to unlock its secrets? So I wondered who were the men and women that had pursued such a lofty aspiration in their lives. I looked at the famous well-known people throughout history to see if they had accomplished and achieved their human potential. Many were famous for their achievements but not necessarily for their human qualities. Who were the people displaying the highest qualities? The most re ned and profound qualities? Humble people yet strong and victorious within their selves, astute and rm in their wisdom and a ect on their society. Who stood out as shining examples? After I’d discarded lots of Presidents, Kings and Queens, Rock stars, artists and musicians, writers and poets, I found on top of the list Jesus and the Buddha and those lost in Myth. Wow, big shoes to ll. But without a doubt they were speaking about a ful lment of human potential like no one else. The beautiful Krishnamurti once said, why do you want to become an expert this or that, and not an expert Human? Meaning reaching your full potential as a human being. Not simply in one eld of skill or expertise. This is rare and there are not many advanced studies that tick all the boxes. But I gured, as long as I have these role models in front of me, I know what to follow. The Human Path in its many-layered and multifaceted variety. My cells are ring up and want to expand beyond its present condition, to grow to its peak before time is up.

The Thread of Freedom.

Find it, the thread that runs through your tapestry of interwoven life incidents. The ne thread, unbroken since the beginning, that holds the secret of who you are, who you have been and who you are to become. Let it run between your ngers and you’ll feel the seamlessness of your

life’s story, an uninterrupted never ending event that started a long time ago and will go on into in nity. Unbroken, uid like time itself, there’s a lightness to it. It passes through the smallest of spaces with ease, this thread of freedom survives where nothing else does. It can’t burn nor brake, it doesn’t know death nor birth. It’s made up of three strands intertwined; body soul and spirit, the manifest, hidden and the sacred. It has a velocity attached to it. Because nothing can hinder it nor stand in its way it accelerates out of control. Take out the stops and it’ll explode like a fuse wire. Don’t be afraid! Stretch your mind.

Stray cats.

Why can it be di cult to pursue a speci c line of thought? To follow a strand of inquiry to the end? Just adjust. Like in the Tour de France now, all the riders know where they are going and follow the same preset course to the nish line. Easy, everybody gets that. So why is it harder for the mind to accept a presented theme of investigation? Why do some have the need to impose their own way even when joining a set-out route? Their opinion hardly matters. Imagine all the riders dispersing choosing to go their own way. They’d hardly end up at the same place. Like herding a group of stray cats. Arguing is futile. Human nature I guess. Oppose at once so there’s no risk of you loosing yourself. Put your marker down at the outset. Where is this need coming from? To uphold an ‘I’? To remain independent? Get o the sidelines, stop judging and join the investigation. Understand the context, grasp the framework, see it through to the end and you might be surprised. Nothing more irritating than an armchair critic, a backseat driver, or know-it-all sideline commentator. It’s not very conducive for a shared exploratory spiritual inquiry is it now? Nor for any joint adventure or endeavour.

The Ego is full of good advice.

Benevolent at rst but turns violent on rejection. Human habitat is full of strange creatures. Call it as it is, our neighbour from Hell won’t move so how do we live with him? Huang Po expressed it as such:

Some years after his ordination, while journeying to Mount T’ien T’ai, Huang Po fell in with a monk with whom he soon came to feel like an old acquaintance; so they continued their journey together. Finding the

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way barred by a mountain stream in ood, our Master lent upon his sta and halted, at which his friend entreated him to proceed.

“No. You go rst,” said our Master. So the former oated his big straw rain-hat on the torrent and easily made his way to the other side.

“I,” sighed the Master, “have allowed such a fellow to accompany me! I ought to have slain him with a blow of my sta !”

Now you may keep his company because you’re lonely but that’s a poor substitute for independence of mind. But he’s my twin you may say but don’t fool your self. He’s a charlatan and a thief. He’ll steal everything you’ve got and claim it for himself. I did this and I did that! All for you, he will plead. And then he’ll add some good advice to bring the point home. These characters comes in all shapes and sizes. Inside and out they’ll work their spells. He is not your brother nor does he got your back. He’ll abandon you at rst sight of light. In the morning he’s gone as the sun rise above the horizon. Let him go, shake o your clothes and be on your way, free at last.

Stepping o the wheel.

It’s a circus this world of ours. Round and round it goes, and what goes around comes around. Insistence and repetition, this annual cycle doesn’t help. Relying on the past you ensure to encounter it again. Believing in who you are will keep you rmly in your seat but dislodge the sense of ‘I’ and you’ll be ung out into the universe. All sense and reason is bound to the merry-go-round, the wheel of Samsara, so it’s not easy to get o . Be then the fool and not the clown. But really it’s not a laughing matter, it makes you dizzy to the point of sickness. Unsatisfactoriness is maybe literal but it doesn’t convey the sense of su ering (dukkha) inherent in the cycle of birth and death. Transmigration is the renewed lease of life, another spin of the wheel, fancy your chances in a new set of lives?

A Creative Approach to Lockdown.

Three years, three months and three days is a relatively new standard length of a Buddhist retreat in solo isolation. These extended periods of seclusion stems from examples set in the past by heroic men and women that felt compelled to come to terms with their own existential questions. They forced upon themselves a constraint that would focus their intent and concentrate their e orts. Within monastic orders these

are not uncommon practices that are meant to usher the recluse closer to mental breakthroughs and reveal divine insights. The narrowing and limiting circumstances are ideal to force one to face oneself in no uncertain terms. Often on the behest of your spiritual teacher, mentor or guru, and as part of your own spiritual unfolding and progress, the seclusion came with a program to be followed. Often the initial opening experiences had already taken place and you’d be convinced of the Path entered to be authentic. Your trust in your guru and in the teachings would give you the con dence and assurance needed to see you through the prolonged isolation. With instructions at hand and regular exercises to be performed you’d be set to encounter your inner world, both demonic and sacred. Going inside is a mental direction that was always supported by the choice of retreat place, often a cave or a solitary place far away from human habitation. Sometimes to the extreme of its opening even being bricked up and sealed, only leaving a small hole for food to be passed through. Hermits and Yogis living alone in seclusion would have to see to their own provisions and needs by allowing a little more room to move about to provide for themselves. Either way, the time spent by yourself was meant for you to acquaint yourself with your inner being, becoming more and more attuned to the way things move. To deepen your own surrender, to hasten your own introspection, to o er up your life in meditation and in contemplation. With Faith and submission to the teachers and teaching, to the holy Path trodden by so many others before you and for all others coming after you. In lockdown there is little or no escape from yourself. Use it to your own advantage. Now six months in I plan to be here for another two and half years. See it like this and you’ll settle in without hoping for an early release. Use your time wisely, don’t fret or complain. Ask for help if needed but remain free from external stimuli. Deal with yourself. Bear the walls closing in on you. See it as the pressure you need to break through. Sit with it, pay attention to the constriction. Don’t be afraid, not even in the darkest moments. This is your time, the dark night of the soul. Pay heed and see it through. Time is precious and now you got it all to yourself. Spend it wisely. Trust and remember why you are on retreat. Remember the Saints and Holy Ones that will not leave your side. Make a place for yourself, a room where you can withdraw. A room silent for your own thoughts and peace of mind. Where you can rest your heart and o er up your life as a sacred o ering to the almighty Truth. For you must be assured there is such a thing as Heaven breaking in, into the tiniest spaces, and there is hope even in the darkest of times that Love will prevail. Think, meditate, read, study, and acquaint yourself with your heart-cave. This time alone is also

An Obligation to Speak.

The Truth. It’s a beautiful language that only wants the best. Some who does not grasp this continue to express their Ego through the arrogance of thinking they know more than the other. They smirk and sit aloof but when it comes to self-understanding they have nothing to say. Their arrogance turns into anger and accusations when challenged. Little do they know that their behaviour give them away, showing everyone who they are. No one can pretend because it’s all revealed in what you say. Words issue from where you reside. If your self-identity lies in your separate sense of self, ie your Ego, you WILL manifest it in word and in deed. Most of it is not harmful nor necessarily wrong as it is the foundation for most of us. It is who we think we are. But once we wake up to the spiritual dimension of our Self we need and must be able to distinguish between them. And we need to enlarge our sense of self to the point of disillusion. Where we see no other. Yet we NEVER loose sight of the distinction between Ego and True Self. They stand in stark contrast to each other. And it’s ONLY through the act of surrender this will become clear. If we avoid the reality of Ego we WILL act out of it and claim all knowledge for ourselves. This is the nal hurdle to overcome if you are pursuing spiritual freedom. Many stop way short and take up residence in knowing. This is an extremely dangerous place to be. Thinking you already know while having no inclination to surrender at all. Then you’ll empower your Ego with a sense of superiority but it is built on the wrong foundation and therefore will shatter when exposed to the light of Truth. So it’s time to get down from your high horses and face the music. Therefore, the language of Truth is devoid of Ego. It is pleasant in the beginning, in the middle and in the end. It is sincere and serious without being heavy. It is light and joyful, lled with concern and love. It’s not overbearing nor accusatory. It will meet you heart to heart as a brother or sister. For some this comes naturally, for others it’s the hardest challenge. How free are you? Don’t speak your mind, speak your heart.

needed to unwind from the daily normal hustle and bustle of life. It takes time for the mind to relax its frantic groping for experience. Your recluse Self will enjoy this opportunity to rest from the world. No need to be, to have nor to know. Start now and keep in touch if you need mutual encouragement or help in regards to this spiritual path of ours.

Where do you spend your time?

Looking through our shared conditioned past? Some call this the garbage bin without a bottom. The endless, the residual Karma of the world, Original Sin that won’t go away. Or nitpicking our own personal idiosyncrasies, our own conscious or not so conscious shadows, inherited or learned patterns of behaviour, traumas and scars? Looking back in time we learn so much of what makes us us. In all respects; individually, socially, culturally and humanly. Both in the positive life a rming way as well as in the negative destructive qualities that breed fear and mistrust. So yes looking back is essential in discovering who we are today. The Buddha answered a question about if he could see the past and predict the future. He answered, ‘To see who you were before look at yourself today, and to see who you will become in the future look at yourself today’. Meaning that all that we are today is the sum of all that has gone on before, and who we will become in the future is down to what we do today. So to understand our past and our future we must look at ourselves today. We can do that on an individual level but we must also take into consideration the larger impersonal aspects of conditioning as a whole, how the whole world and humanity itself has been moved and shaped over time, in both positive and negative ways. We all are but an outcome of all that have come before. The Buddha of course was helping people to come to a complete ending of su ering through advocating the eightfold noble path of correct or complete living, with the liberating ingredient of enlightenment as the wake-up call to a life in freedom. This timeless vision of the deathless is what makes it possible to extract ourselves from a solely individual Ego point of view to see a larger and wholly impersonal perspective. And as he so rightfully says, it is through not clinging we are set free. And why do we not need to cling? Because we have seen the Truth. So when we meet, it’s all there, all past, present and future; collectively and shared. I see you so fully, so complete, I avoid nothing and hold up my hands in no defence. Yet I do not cling and we meet in freedom.

The Still Point.

In between movement nd that still point. So often we never pause, never take the time to stop. We drift if not fall into the next moment. Unable to hold our own we can’t wait to move on. Impatient we tend to loose our temper. Being still, absolute still, where we come to rest, in

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balance, just as it is required of us in deep meditation, can be incredibly demanding. Leaving no trail of remaining tremor, no dgeting, coming to a complete halt where we become still before we initiate our next movement. We separate and disentangle the movements, letting each move stand alone. When we learn this basic way it may take time to become still. Take whatever time is needed and as you learn step by step you’ll nd that still point sooner and sooner. Even to the point where we hardly notices a break in the ow. Learn to enjoy this quiet point inside yourself. Learn to love it. Once you nd this sweet spot inside yourself, you can always return to it at will. Take a moment, is the apt terminology. Take a breath, then focus on the next move. You will learn to use your body as an expression of your mind. When you say sit, it will sit. When you say rest easy, your body will rest easy. When you say go, it’ll go. Like a well trained dog without any anxiety. Once you nd this still point in yourself, you connect the dots in between the movements. Like a string of pearls you move between them like on a rosary, each one having a mantra of their own. Finding yourself at each point, making possible a free ow of motion. A particle and a wave. Subatomic motion.

Enlightenment.

Is not theory nor practice. It’s not Dharma combat where you ex your spiritual muscles. Nor is it empowerment nor embodiment. All these things are informed by Enlightenment but by themselves do not constitute Enlightenment. It’s now or never. It’s the instant mutual recognition between us that does not take time. That’s why the Buddha was so excited when his fellow seeker friend and his to be rst student, opened his Dharma eye upon hearing the teachings from the newly enlightened Buddha. “-Kondanna knows! Kondanna knows!” A shared vision and understanding made them brothers on the Path. We can’t rest on our laurels and we need to come together always on the same premises, of the shared instantaneous vision of Truth Absolute. This is to be grasped in a ash of recognition and asserted every time we meet. This is the starting point of living the Holy Life. From here onwards we tread the Eightfold Noble Path.

Grandmotherly Zen.

When I was in India and visited the Sivananda Ashram in Rishikesh on several occasions. Over time we got to know the four leading teachers in residence. They were Swami Chidanandaji, Swami Krishnanandaji, Swami Bramhanandaji and Swami Vidyanandaji. Four wonderful successors of Swami Sivananda. They all taught the Truth in di erent but delightful ways. Chidanandaji was love and care incarnate, Krishnanandaji was the spiritual boxer challenging you, Vidyanandaji the educator elucidating scripture, Brahmananda, the close personal father gure full of compassion. They taught me that Truth can be seen through many prisms and that each have a very speci c quality attached. My own guru was like re, you’d burn if you got close. But from whoever you learn you’ll receive a segment and a avour of Truth that will help you to see the wholeness that the Truth incapsulates. But no matter who you meet, it is always in relationship that the communication occurs. Meaning that the establishment of a report between you and the teacher is crucial and essential in the transference of knowledge and wisdom.

Death and Dying.

A stark reality for many of us during these times. Yet it has always been with us. The Buddha found it shocking when he rst stepped out of his privileged surrounding and found sickness, decay and death on his doorstep. That was his wake up call. Will it be ours? He personally resolved to come to a deep understanding of it. He wanted to nd a way out of su ering, nd a way to end dukkha. He left home to seek the Truth. Not to avoid death or dying but to face it head on. Maybe that is the way to nd a deeper solace in these di cult times? To look for answers within. To risk it. To go that extra mile outside your comfort zone. Death and dying is frightening yet we all will pass through it. Maybe life itself teaches you all about it if you don’t turn away, yet some introspection will surely help. It may even bring it closer to you, making you face it ahead of time. Daring to face death in yourself while alive is not comfortable but you might come upon a jewel that will make it worth your e orts. Jesus said clearly ‘If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will nd it.’ There’s a secret in the surrender. It’s a psychological barrier di cult to traverse and you need to contemplate it deeply in order to let go. It’s not a light

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matter. But in these times of COVID-19, lockdown and isolation it may be the right time to consider it?

A di erent perspective.

With spiritual insight comes a new vision. We come to see things anew from a di erent point of view. This perspective is the complete opposite of the usual normal outlook most of us have. It’s not that our eyes nor its objects have changed but it is wherefrom we look that have changed. The identity with which we used to frame our picture from is gone. The source of vision is no longer you. You have disappeared and there’s only seeing. Usually everybody attaches seeing and its properties to themselves. They personalise seeing and overlay it with their own conclusions and likes and dislikes. But once we have had a penetrating spiritual insight we loose the agent that is watching. The ‘I’ disappears and your vision becomes unclouded by your personal identity. We suddenly see clearly. We ‘wake’ up to the true nature of who we are. It’s as if you’ve blown a hole wide open in the back of your head and there’s only empty space when you turn your gaze around and look within. I describe my own experience as my vision comes from far behind my head, as far as the universe is deep, and goes through my eyes out into the world. This perspective is a wide open experience of sight. It’s no longer framed by anything and my physical eyes are no longer reference points. I can see from any part of my body, I can see from my heart or my head, I can close my eyes and still see. Vision is non-directional unless I direct it in one way or other. I can see ‘out’ into this world or I can see ‘in’ into my true Being that lies just behind my eyes yet encompasses the whole universe. So when I look into this world I do so from outside of it. This whole universe I nd, is within me. Yet when I play with directions in and out cancel each other out and there’s only no point of reference and I’m left with wide open empty space. Why is this helpful and important? Because it changes the way you view things. You no longer assess things according to how you feel or think. Since there’s no obstruction from an agent you can see objectively. Seeing things clearly you don’t personalise your experience. Zen calls it simply ‘seeing things as they are’. Now if we don’t see eye to eye we are bound to clash with opposing viewpoints. These are not two di ering opinions but two altogether di erent ways of seeing. One is relative and one is absolute. One is personal and one is universal. The spiritual view is the greater and can accommodate the worldly view yet the personal worldly view can’t accommodate the larger perspective.

That’s why there has to be a shift, from the limited to the in nite. And that’s why it always will be a challenge to the personal sense of self. But this is what any spiritual aspirant and seeker are looking for. A complete transformation of their outlook. A radical shift in perspective. A change of heart.

Churning of the Cosmic Ocean.

To churn the primordial ocean, Mount Mandara (a spur of Mount Meru, the world axis) was used as a churning rod and the snake-king, Vasuki as the churning rope. The Asuras held the head of the snake and the Devas held its tail and they pulled his body alternately, causing the mountain to rotate and the ocean to churn.

When placed in the ocean, Mount Mandara began to sink, so Vishnu, in his second avatar as the tortoise Kurma came to the rescue and supported the mountain on his shell (his turtle back). The colossal tug of war continued for a million years before the gifts of the ocean were revealed.

The churning of the ocean of milk is a momentous event in Hindu mythology that appears in the Bhagwat Purana, Vishnu Purana, and the Mahabharata. It is the story of the Devas (the Gods) obtaining the ultimate prize of immortality by consuming Amrit, the elixir of immortality.

Bereft of their strength and fortune, the Devas sought Amrit, the elixir of immortality from the depths of the primordial ocean. The Devas had to join forces with their mortal enemies, the Asuras (Demons) to churn the cosmic ocean and bring the Amrit to the surface – who agreed to do so in return for half of the reward.

Before the Amrit was revealed, the mythological poison of Halahala was released when Vasuki’s head vomited forth the poison that threatened to fall into the ocean and contaminate the amrita. Shiva hurriedly drank the poison to prevent it from contaminating the ocean. His wife, Parvati saved him by choking Shiva, which stopped the poison in his neck from reaching his stomach. According to some legends, the Halahala may be the reason for Shiva’s iconic blue color.

Several ratnas or gems other than the Amrit were bestowed by the cosmic ocean during this di cult toil, such as: Chandra, the moon, parijata, a beautiful and fragrant tree now planted in Indra’s heaven, the four-tusked elephant Airavata, Indra’s mount, Kamadhenu, the cow of plenty, Madira, the goddess of wine, who became Varuni, the wife of Varuna, Kalpavriksha, the wish-ful lling tree, the apsaras (celestial

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dancers), the celestial horse Uccaihshravas, the goddess Lakshmi, who became Vishnu’s wife, Panchajanya, Vishnu’s conch, Vishnu’s mace and magic bow, various gems, and Dhanvantari, the physician of the gods, who rose up out of the waters carrying in his hands the supreme treasure, the amrita. When the Amrit was nally revealed, the Devas and Asuras immediately reverted to their rivalry and tried to obtain the elixir for themselves. Vishnu turned himself into a beautiful woman named Mohini, to distract the Asuras while the Devas hurriedly swallowed the Amrit and gained the ultimate prize of immortality.

This story describes the necessity of churning the Ocean in order to access the nectar of immortality. This describes the necessity for spiritual seekers and nders alike to probe and churn, to inquire and to question. It describes the necessity to continue to probe even after having found the primordial Ocean of their being. Spiritual seekers that have found the essence of who they are in a limitless Being, here likened to an Ocean, still will have to churn the depths to bring up the gifts and nectar of eternal life. This can be done in two ways. One way is to personally probe the depths of your own being, both mentally and physically. Because the description of the method can be an internal physical esoteric practice done in and through the physical body. To learn this we need a an expert guide teacher who is well accomplished in this eld of practice. It’s our personal e ort in regards to our own self development; physically and energetically. The second way to view and approach it, is to inquire, alone and together with others, to mentally probe the depths of our shared Being, the Primordial Ocean, in order to churn up something extraordinary. Many spiritual students or ‘ nders’ who have grasped the limitless essence of who and what they are, have failed to understand that there is further to go. They relax believing everything is ne and complete, leaving the Ocean as it is and don’t venture into its depths. But if we do take the opportunity to probe and investigate its depths we will nd that so much more can be stirred up. But this endeavour is no longer made for personal gain, and it necessitates that we include other people in a sel ess manner for the sake of discovery itself. We already know of the Ocean and we live with an intimate personal experience of it as the very core of our being which manifests as love and unity in everything we do. We even interact with others in perfect accord due to its oneness. Yet have we probed deeper to extract its hidden treasures? That is what this story is asking us to do. To use what we’ve got to investigate and churn up, by the process of inquiry, hitherto unknown gems.

Dare to leave the surface of your own experience and dive deep into our shared experience of being together. But not only as a wild ight at

random but with an intention that won’t stop until we come upon the Amrit, the elixir of immortality. And once again, not just for ourself, but for a shared experience among a group of people through the exercise of spiritual dialogue, investigation and meditation. A mutually conscious experience of Oneness between us. Even if we already see the world as One this probing is the conscious activity to ‘bring about’ a realised shared space, a portal to a di erent way of being with each other. A connected network of beings, fully conscious of our interdependence as shards of one ultimate reality, our conscious immortal Self. What we must be aware of is the resurgence of Ego, the poison, that can rise. Don’t let it out, stop it in the throat before you speak it. You might turn blue because of the pressure but you won’t die.

Touch never lies.

Upon touch everything is revealed. What you hold, what you fear, what you want. Your touch will reveal your doubt and your unexamined insecurities. Touch reveals patterns of behaviour long learned in the body. A handshake gives you away. The physical contact serves as a barometer for your intimacy. Will you let them in? How far am I willing to let go? Do I need to keep my own? Can your touch suss where the other is? Can your grip calibrate the di erence? Immediately? Hands lightly held adjusts and match to blend. Can you both play the range? Without missing a beat. Never needing to separate yet opening and closing at will. Can you guide without interfering. Flow without the pause to readjust? Now this is Aiki in my book. No hesitation yet no lack nor excess. A perfect physical response re ecting your state of mind mirroring your heart’s delight. That’s why touch never lies.

A Window of Opportunity.

What am I speaking about when I address our spiritual readiness? We may be way too busy to contemplate the meaning of life? Being settled in and having an ordered situation where everything goes on routine; work, family and downtime, have we missed the window of opportunity of our youth? Can we yet nd a niche of interest to kindle a curious mind? To explore the inner meaning of our own event? To me it’s always exciting and thrilling. It spills over so I have to keep bothering you about it. So what is this window? Something you look through. A perspective and a view. From where you look, and to where. An inner vision some

say but it’s not mere imagination but a real actual perception of the way things are. We will explore our present conscious awareness as to the way we frame it, to the way we interpret it, and to the way we regard it. It’s a razor thin line between delusion and clarity. Blink and you’ll miss it. The normal grown up person who is aware already of their responsibilities have a very good grasp of what’s right and what’s wrong. They already live in the world of love; family being the most important thing. Yet even that being the case, there may be room for further exploration of their own self. Not in a psychoanalytical sense (though that may be true as well) but in a spiritual sense. Who are you? In the deepest-most sense of the word? This is where introspection comes into play. A guidance to see. Isolate seeing. See if you can terse apart the accompanying context, your own interpretation of it, and your own value judgement of it? Don’t jump to conclusions. Meaning don’t hasten away from the simple act of observation. Just see. Explore your vision. From where does it originate? And to where do you see? Even when your eyes are closed, keep questioning. Don’t let thought interfere. Look through this window as it would be a new dawn outside. See it anew, fresh as if it was for the rst time. Maybe time will stand still for a moment and you’ll catch a glimpse of the eternal through the simple act of seeing. This is the window of opportunity I’m speaking about.

When Spirit is Priority.

Above and beyond all else, what is most important? When you come to a reckoning inside, what do you value the most? Do you know? Don’t skip over it. It takes some nding out. It’s not necessarily that obvious. Re-examine your conclusions and held beliefs. Are they the deepestmost thoughts you have? What is the absolute rock bottom foundation for any human being? Not just for you but for anyone, regardless of preference. Out of what do we come? From where and whence do we rise? Have you ever wondered who you are? In the most profound way possible, beyond name and form? Can you entertain that idea? To realise something beyond mere personal ideation? Something beyond yourself. Something universal. When you’re all alone, when everyone else have gone to sleep, and you’re left to yourself, who is there in the dark? Deep inside, who is there?

When everything dies down, when there is literally nothing more to be done, who do you fall back on? On what do you rely? Does the universe provide a safety net for you to fall into? Or are you clinging to

life? To politics and to right and wrong? Is there something more that lies beyond animating your emotions, something other than embodying your feelings? Is being who you are, freeing as it is, simply a release of held back and pent up resistances? Of blocked and repressed urges? Is the acclaimed human potential summed up in psychoanalytical terminology? Or is there something more to it? Can it be summed up in each and everyones willingness to meet, again and again? To have the ability to come together despite shortcomings? Can we come together in the Truth of who we are and move from there to a deeper relationship that breaks the separateness of our apparent lives? Personal independent freedom aside, can we discover something that would make us want for more? But not for the herd mentality of a membership in a socially set convention or in partisan groups or politics but in a radical vision of a Truth that bridges all human separateness? In a Love that has the quality to bridge di erences, to see clearly. To see the other as one self. Can we let that vision inform everything we do? Can that become the standard to which we adhere?

The Immediacy of Awakening.

Though the Path is long and winding there’s a directness in the moment that needs to be adhered to and addressed. In the Zen (Chán) tradition of China there was a distinction between the Sudden Path and the Gradual Path. There is no denying the gradual developmental element to one’s spiritual evolution simply by the fact that time passes. This was proven to be the most important aspect to the Buddhist practice; continuity and perseverance. Sudden Enlightenment was always put into the context of the wider long-yielding fruits of the practice. Time and dedication always favoured over short term insights. Or rather, instant understandings were cultivated to serve as foundations to your spiritual growth. Yet nevertheless, the Zen tradition prides itself on the suddenness as of a knife cut through and penetration to the essence of being. This is never forgotten among its masters and is displayed in all the famous encounters with aspiring students along the way. The spontaneous calling out and addressing the real being inside each and every one of us were preserved as Koan’s; mysterious sayings that we are meant to ponder. It’s very sad that this art is mostly forgotten and treated as a scholarly study of Zen. The expression of speaking directly from the heart is about being awake to the moment. Always now. Never to be replaced by theory (even when speaking of theory). The immediacy of awakening must be enacted all the time. We can’t speak

about spiritual matters unless we know what spirit really means, here and now. What does it mean to enact your true self in word, deed and action all the time? Every single instant you’re on the line, will you enact and ‘prove’ your deepest understanding or not? When you open your mouth it is decided. This is what spiritual enlightenment is all about. Direct insight into reality here and now, backed up by word and deed that issue from that very place. If you speak ‘about’ it you’re as far away from it as the hungry ghosts in Hell are. This knowing humbles us and we know it’s a gradual path yet this directness never leaves us. Now we must make a distinction between knowing who you are in the separate individual sense, and in the deeper sense where Love, Truth and indivisibility rules. If who we are is one undivided Self then much of our accumulated karma/conditions must be surrendered and not held high as some kind of personal achievement and privilege. We must see it as it truly is; devoid of any specialness and importance. We must come to see that any virtue and all goodness lies in the fact that we are One, and not separate individuals. We can’t play on our foibles and think it doesn’t matter. We need to put our Ego and pride aside (even as spiritual beings) and meet as the one self that we truly are. Only then is the suddenness revealed to be the doorway to Heaven. When we no longer make any distinctions between you and me. So please, lay your personal concerns aside for a moment and cut into the heart of the matter. Now.

Being Awake.

Now I want to address those who sco at purity. If you believe your appearance doesn’t matter and that your expression doesn’t count, think again. Truth has a standard inherent in itself; that is Love manifest. Love expresses itself in kindness, in care and in wisdom. Love sees no duality. Once you come upon the purity of the Truth you can no longer allow your Ego to run the show. If you do, you’re like a poor vile estate agent that’s only in it for the money and have no respect for the owner of the house. Maybe you claim you’re a free agent that does not work for anyone speci c? Then you’re just a charlatan pretending to know your business. But without an employer you’re just an empty suit. Of course it matters how we hold ourselves. Posture and form is fundamental. Yes we can relax, don’t need to be uptight. Yet there’s a rigour to Truth that we need to acknowledge. An honesty and a purity that needs to be respected. It’s no good to pray in your closet, be all humble and sincere with your God if you don’t carry his presence with

you when you leave the room. You can’t boast of knowing him as if he’s not there. Even worse, saying it doesn’t matter what you do since you’re free, thinking he can’t see you. If fame by proximity is what you want, join the spiritual celebrity circus and rub shoulders with the holier than thou. Spiritual science doesn’t have to be di cult. Unclouded eyes is a matter of the heart. Love and compassion is seen in relationship. Always pertinent, always applicable. When someone mentions his name, smile as if he’s sitting next to you.

If Jesus was in the room.

I’m sure you’d sit up and pay attention. He holds you to a higher standard without saying a single word. When you acknowledge his presence in your heart you will echo Paul’s sentiment; “He must increase, but I must decrease”. This will give you a good indicator as to what to hold yourself to. In that frame of reference your Ego will be apparent and you can no longer ignore it. It doesn’t matter how much you know or how much skill you have achieved, it’s just about giving credit where credit is due. Jesus says; “I am the way and the truth and the life”. So when this light shines in your heart you can’t go wrong. There’s no pretending in this, genuine humility is the outcome. This gives us a sound foundation to stand upon from where everything can be explored and examined. We can learn forever new things as we now hold up no barriers of self pride. You can also with con dence bear witness to the Truth within as it is your present experience. Together we break down misunderstandings and ignorance, lay bare the Truth of our shared inheritance; the Holy Spirit that resides within.

No Method to the Madness.

Krishnamurti said that Truth is a pathless land. There can be no method that conveys it. No practice that guarantees it. Yet we as drowning men clutch at straws. Relying on crutches to take us where we want to go. Dialogue can serve to untangle the web of confusion and to clarify the mind. Trust becomes an issue. Do we rather trust a method of self help than the guidance of another? Can we use both with great discrimination? When Krishnamurti says ‘Truth is a pathless land’ he points to the moment of interaction. At that moment we can’t delay any longer. We must dare to see and to experience Truth in ourselves and in the relationship to the other or others. Relying on a method, no matter

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how well intended and bene cial, we will simply postpone our own freedom. That means you put your trust in a method rather than in the precious moment of now. Regardless of where you’re at in your spiritual walk this moment of now will always be there with you, and in every instance you are being tested. Will you trust your Self? And with discrimination and guidance see through your own mind? The method will serve this instantaneous reality-check to back you up, to support you in moments of fragility. Yet not to keep you safe but to give you the strength to abandon your reliance on it. Spiritual or not, any foothold in any area must be abandoned in order to meet as One. If you only keep inviting people into your own home you will never see how other people live. Can you abandon your own home in the seeing that is a gment of your own creation. Can you live in the pathless land where we claim nothing and where everyone ultimately will reside?

Con uence.

From the instance they meet, two tributaries of a river, they inter ow. They become one river without hesitation. They ow into each other and continue as a larger body of water down the mountain. A meeting in Truth should be like this; merging into oneness. Since our non-dual nature is already one and the same it should be natural to blend as if there was nothing to it. But since the human mind works on a dualistic basis we always complicate things. So we need to look into the reasons why we remain separate and learn to let go into unity. This is not a di cult teaching nor too hard to do but it requires an independence of thought and a willingness to give up our long held ideas. This truth applies equally to the beginner as well as to the advanced student. Nowhere is this more obvious than in the history of the enlightened ones, ie the Buddha and Jesus. People that came to them and became followers of their teaching were from all walks of life; some advanced spiritual practitioners, others mere youngsters just starting o in life. They all had to come to terms with the basic message, that they all were part of the same underlying spiritual nature, a unifying factor that laid the foundation for everything they subsequently did. The more advanced and spiritually mature became leaders and teachers for the younger and less experienced ones. But they all bowed down to the same truth, knowing fundamentally they shared the same undi erentiated nature and were awake to it in communion. If you accept who you are you will naturally ow into any body of water without prejudice since you share fundamentally your very nature of

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who you are. Water is essentially pure yet stirred up it can be murky and contaminated. Like my meditation teacher instructed us, he stirred a glass of water with soil in it and then let it sit still on the table. Watching it, the sediments sank to the bottom and slowly the water regained its clarity and transparency. The sediments refer to mind and meditation will settle the confusion it stirs. Likewise allow your mind to be at peace and union is natural and automatic. The nature of the river is increased for every tributary that join it. That’s why the Ganges river is Holy in India. It gain its might from the numberless tributaries as it ows through the land. Satsanga has this very purpose to bring all tributaries into one owing river. With understanding and clear seeing together with all others.

Pregnant with Meaning.

Can you be still till something stirs by itself? Can you be quiet till something prompts you to speak? Can we meet without having to precipitate our action? Can the context itself be pregnant with meaning? Can we acknowledge the space we share? It’s the focus we a ord the situation before initiating an engagement that builds critical tension. That’s why we are mindful not to do violence upon the scene at hand. We realise we’re in a relationship regardless of the circumstances and must observe proper etiquette. Which simply means we stay with what is and pay attention so we can respond appropriately without prejudgement. The slight holding back will create the pregnancy we’re looking for and if we’re able to keep it together the pressure will build. No need to instantly argue your point of view. It gets tiresome over time and fails to convince anyone. Open dialogue only ever means anything if we’re willing to listen. Yet to create the right setting for a conducive dialogue needs stilling of our emotions. Like in Aikido training, the prerequisite is to tune in. To take into yourself the full picture, to see the whole before the part. Then we’re able to absorb the other, let things stand as they are, and like a good surgeon takes a breath before he applies the knife. This requires skill and experience yet the quality of mind can be cultivated from the beginning. The newly enlightened Buddha knew well how receptive people were to his teachings:

“Now the occasion was one on which the Blessed One had risen early in the night towards dawn and was pacing up and down in the open. When he saw Yasa coming in the distance, he left his walk and sat down on a seat made ready for him. When Yasa was not far from the Blessed One, he exclaimed: 'It is fearful, it is horrible!' Then the Blessed

The Seeds of Awakening.

When the Buddha abandoned the Path of Penance his friends abandoned him though he knew in himself he’d done more than any human would be capable of. On the the brink of death he realised the futility of years of extraordinary e ort had not brought him any closer to nal liberation. He slowly regained his strength after some children gave him rice and milk. Now all by himself he wondered how he could proceed reaching his goal of coming to the complete ending of su ering. He had already gained deep insights with the two foremost teachers of his time, equalled them and surpassed them yet still not satis ed.

In the tranquility of his aloneness he remembered a scene from his childhood. His family was in the orchard picking the seasonal fruits and the Buddha to be, still just a baby, was laid in a cot in the shade under a tree. Spontaneously he was awakened by the serenity of the situation. His Dharma eye was opened and he could see everything perfectly. Now when he recalled this blessed memory he realised the conditions for enlightenment could be found in the Middle Way; in not too much nor in not too little e ort. He sat down under the Bodhi tree and established mindfulness in front of him and vowed not to rise from his seat until nding the ultimate Truth. His memory awakened in him a

One said: 'This is not fearful, this is not horrible. Come, Yasa, sit down. I shall teach you the Dhamma.'

He thought: 'This is not fearful, it seems, this is not horrible and he was happy and hopeful. He took o his gold slippers and went to where the Blessed One was. After paying homage to him he sat down at one side. When he had done so, the Blessed One gave him progressive instruction, that is to say, talk on giving, on virtue, on the heavens; he explained the dangers, the vanity and the de lement in sensual pleasures and the blessings in renunciation. When he saw that Yasa's mind was ready, receptive, free from hindrance, eager and trustful, he expounded to him the teaching peculiar to the Buddhas:* su ering, its origin, its cessation, and the path to its cessation. Just as a clean cloth with all marks removed would take dye evenly, so too while Yasa sat there the spotless, immaculate vision of the Dhamma arose in him: All that is subject to arising is subject to cessation.

While the Law was being taught, Yasa reviewed the plane of knowledge that he had seen and experienced, and through no clinging his heart was liberated from taints.”

pleasant abiding in the here and now, his meditation leading him deeper and deeper through the night. And as the morning star rose he awakened to unequalled, unparalleled nal liberation. What needed to be done had been done. Nothing more remained to be done.

Beginners Mind.

Meeting together in the not-known and being able to carry on a conversation of its very nature is unusual. We do know of it in one situation though, when a student genuinely asks a question to their teacher in order to understand and grasp the meaning of it. This trust in the teacher comes from naturally believing him or her to know the answer. After all, that’s why they are there; to teach us things we don’t yet know. So we ask and open our mind to receive an answer. This openness is what not-knowing is all about. We don’t already know. This attitude comes from wanting to know. We remain not knowing in order to be able to know. This is crucial to understand in regards to spiritual liberation. This creates the receptivity needed to see things anew. Now imagine taking this attitude beyond the school setting and engage in an open dialogue about the nature of Truth from this innocent state of receptivity of not-knowing. Can we learn to remain in a state of notknowing when we continue to look into our present conscious experience? In order to nd, see and distill what a shared experience is. Can we detect an impersonal perspective that we all share simply by remaining in a state of not-knowing but wanting to know? This egoless sel ess state is our natural being free from any speci c self identi cation. We simply are; curious, open and free. Like the student being innocent in the asking, frees himself up to know, so do we remain free in a shared communication about the nature of being itself. Spiritual liberation is always about the freedom from. Freedom from the bondage of the mistaken identity in a smaller sense of the individual self. When we become innocent in not-knowing we incidentally surrender the hold of the Ego wanting to own the situation. By wanting to know, we forego the Ego and nd a way to liberated understanding. This is why not-knowing is so important when we meet. To remain in the unknown will become the very base of who we are. Remain in the dark in order to see everything in the light. I’ll meet you there with eyes like coals burning a deep hole in our soul.

Death in the time of Covid.

‘Do not Fear’. ‘God is Love’. So it is written in stone at an entrance to a church in South Stockholm. Every time I pass by I read it. It makes me smile and it lls me with hope. So simple and true. It is no cure for Covid-19 but it’s a sure remedy for your soul. I’ve worked fteen years as a health care worker in the neurosurgery and neurological wards in Sweden. Those years gave me the best education I’ve ever had. I learned to care for people that su ered more than I ever would. I don’t say this to boast but to show my experience with death is merely not intellectual. Being near death is never easy but the love from family, friends and medicare workers will be what makes it bearable. There’s no fairness in the randomness of Covids victims. It is cruel and unforgiving and everybody wants to see the end of it. Through trial and error, innovation, scrutiny and criticism the rescue operation is on its way. All things adding up, all facets playing part. The balancing of positives and negatives slowly being calibrated to serve the end result. A thousand strands all entwine to make one rope. Like it or not, that is the sum mass of our collective evolution. Improve it you may, improve it you should. But do not place us in camps of us and them. No need to generalise. There’s a larger picture we can fathom if we dare, from where we can operate and from where we can partake. It takes no sides but works for the betterment of all. One strand among many, one stream of many. In this, life and death has its course. Entwined till the end.

Self Isolation.

Let’s isolate the Self. First you must nd it. Seek it out. Go looking for it. Don’t know where to start? Begin to search at home, within yourself. Meditation might help but there’s no guarantee. Ask for help, but they’ll only point you back from where you came. So you’ll have to gure it out by yourself. Find some clues in books? In holy scriptures? Sit still and let it come to you. Like, rest easy and tempt the Self to come to you. Pretend you’re not interested. Listen to the Self that is there, just behind your face, deep in your heart. The silence is deafening. Like in a bottomless forest pool you can make out the contours of your face on the dark surface but sink within and loose all reference points to who you are. Break the surface, dive within till you disappear out of sight. Loosing face has never been more satisfactory. Loose the orientation of what’s up and what’s down, limitless expanse in all directions. The I

sense is no longer directed by your emotions, your mind has no foothold. You’re oating in untold bliss, the underlying nature being the dark waters you’re submerged in. The pressure of the deep locates who you are and you become very aware of who and what you consist of. Beingness is isolated and highlighted, stripped of name and form. Now can you rise to the surface and not be dazzled by the sunlight playing on the waves? Keep your sense of self isolated yet free in relationship to all things. Have you found it? And can you isolate it in an instant if asked to do so? Can you suppress your Ego at any point and let your true and authentic self respond? Take a deep breath and go within.

Face to Face.

No imposition! When the need to project is no longer there, you’ll appreciate the other so much more. When the need to correct and advice, critique and blame is no more, you’ll be at peace with yourself. When you no longer have the need to protect, defend and justify your own being nor question the other, you’ll be free from imposing yourself upon the other. No longer apart but as one you stand. No di erentiation and no separation. To be completely at ease with the other means you lay down your own judgments. You become the other. You are now he or she. We then become transparent and everything is seen just as it is. Everything you and I are is seen and what we know and what we don’t know becomes clear.

Unbearable lightness of being.

Why is it di cult? Because we become naked, completely vulnerable and we’re not allowed to grasp at anything. Not knowing is not about being clueless but about being empty. We’re so afraid of being alone, we can’t stand the thought of it. Even for a minute it’s unbearable. Can you be nobody? When I realised I had to give up everything, the nal sacri ce lled me with fear; ‘If I’ll give up this I’ll be nobody!’ This was the scariest thought. I’d be no one, completely alone in this world, useless and ignored. The little left I had to anchor my identity in had to be let go of. But I knew, I had to let it go in order to be free. Really free, with nothing left undone. So with that I stepped o the edge. I fell with an abandon with nothing to stay my fall. ‘Having nothing, knowing nothing, being nobody’ my teacher exclaimed, is being free. And the price is your life.

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Rumi says,

“I would love to kiss you.

The price of kissing is your life.

Now my loving is running toward my life shouting,

What a bargain, let's buy it.”

A Mystery in the Making.

Looking back I’m astonished to see how much confusion there is about spiritual liberation even amongst the so called realised people. I’m completely taken aback by the vestige a orded to time. It’s never about now. And if it’s about now it’s kept as a private thought that no one can touch or challenge. We speak about the now as it were a subject. We speculate about the here and now in Zen never ever coming to grips with it. We want the leisure to investigate and we skirt around the subject till a time it suits us. Then we a ord ourselves to ‘be’ for a moment. Maybe in the form of meditation or simply by watching nature. Yet we fail to apprehend the momentousness of each and every second, minute and hour of the day. We fail to see the liberating understanding that is inherent in each moment. I hear many resorting to body awareness in order to come to terms with who they think they are. Body awareness is supported by Mind awareness; simply being aware of who you are in this body-being with all its latent and obvious traits, its conditions and patterns, learned behaviours and survival mechanisms, some of which you are more conscious of than of others. This approach is a lifelong endeavour well worth its pursuit and ts any and all spiritual paths as a learning tool for self knowledge and personal transformation. Yet without the penetrating insight of freedom from the self in each and every moment as a living reality and with its adjoining ability to engage it without hesitation, all it ever will amount to is an never ending struggle to ‘become’ free. Some say embodiment is empowerment yet remember, even in our weakness we can be free. Freedom is not merely an inner knowing but is a freedom in engagement as well. Living in freedom assures that you never need to wait for, nor postpone your own awakening. Freedom exists in not knowing; when there’s nothing to hold up, nothing to prove and nothing to claim. Your freedom gives you the ability to search, to nd out and to be curious. It gives you the humility not needing to know beforehand. Freedom gives you no room to wait, no time to hesitate, and no excuse to postpone. Embodiment practices, mindful meditation practices and

The di erence between doubt and interest.

What do you mean? I don’t understand, please explain! This interest driven inquisitiveness is the healthy approach to things we do not know. Doubt and not being sure should and can lead to healthy introspection; who am I and what am I doing? Doubt should not lead to self-doubt; doubting yourself which weakens you. Doubt should and can lead to discrimination; which with practice will strengthen you. Your interest in what you don’t know and in what you don’t understand will lead you to greater realisations and insights. This will only make you stronger and your integrity is based on wanting to nd out. Don’t stop until the answers become your own experience. If not at once, sustain reasonable doubt, it’s ok to be sceptical but don’t turn cynical. Don’t close the door on what you don’t understand. Keep an open mind and when investigating allow yourself to entertain the unknown. Recognise the di erence of mindset when being overly set in your opinions and xed ideas compared to being interested in what others suggest or profess to know. Entertain healthy doubt and be interested in what we don’t yet understand. Pursue it in order to know it for yourself. Don’t take somebody’s word for it. Make it your own experience through direct insight. Spiritual exploration is a questioning of your own self; who am I? And who am I in relationship? What is freedom from doubt? What does it mean? If you can see doubt as a prompt to learn, your interest will guide you to resolve any lingering questions you might have. Always remain open to not knowing, always retain a healthy sense of ignorance, never be too sure of how things should be, and your experience will ever grow richer. In a spiritual setting like in a Satsanga we embrace this unknown as the very context we meet in. Same for all whether or not we are aware of it. Yes you can be aware of

Self Inquiry are the tools for grasping reality but if we forego the liberating presence of the now, we will continue looking for answers in the future. This now calls for a reckoning of its own liberating e ect and the love it sustains will be more than enough to compensate for our own ignorance. This is what makes it such a game changer. It bestows freedom on each and every one present and it presents a uniform perspective we all can embrace. It that everything is seen as it is and we will have found the key to unlock it all; present conscious awareness, same as it ever was. That’s where we would like to put our attention.

Guru Power

What is the di erence between well meaning scientists that engage in dialogue and their spiritual counterparts, the gurus? Science that strive for truths through research and experience has established our world view; our past, present and future. It is an incredible achievement. Gurus, past and present, have always advocated a di erent perspective. They speak of an inner universe not measurable by the scienti c method nor reached by discursive thought. Worlds apart yet we speak of one experience; our inner and outer apprehension of Life itself. Experts in their respective elds do well to remain in their chosen domain. When they try to cross over using their own set of tools it never works. All the good intentions in the world will not compensate for their lack of understanding. Best advice is to use the methods applicable to each respective eld of knowledge. We never ask the mechanic to bring his toolbox into the kitchen to make us a cake. So what does the guru have to o er us? Inner Truth? A reliable map of our interior world? An alternative universe and a science of our soul? Just as we rely on science to come up with the answers in regards to the cosmos (macro and micro) we need to trust the experts in pointing to the truth within. The Guru has this power, to open your eyes to the unknown. He or she will be able to open a window in your soul to the deathless realm of the spirit, to make you aware of the eternity behind time. In this transmission the guru uses no facts nor prior knowledge to access your hidden consciousness. Through his own transparency and clarity, by remaining in his or her own space, you’ll receive a taste of this inner experience. It will resonate in yourself, and as any scientist will tell you; everything is interconnected. He or she will bypass your mind and see directly to your heart. When the mind sees the heart all knowledge will ow from a new perspective. You will have found a new source, a new set of tools, to disclose your own inner universe and you’ll discover we all share the same substratum; the eld of our Spirit. The blank canvas upon which the story of the world is written. Now you’ll see why the language used is di erent from that used in the scienti c world. The Guru is pointing to the heart of the matter. And though you only break the surface to your soul once, the in nite depth to your spirit will make it a lasting endeavour. There’s no contradiction in accepting both world views. We just apply di erent standards to each; one inner and one

not-knowing. It’s the space wherein we can be curious, interested and be at ease with ourself.

outer. The gurus power is like a plumb line, drawing you down into the depths of your soul as a deep sea diver leaves the surface for the deep.

For the Love of Being.

It is unpretentious and completely at ease. It’s human and not so perfect as we think, like when exquisite pottery display a aw it’s the norm rather than the exception. It is proportional, the natural beauty lies in the lines drawn on the surface yet its depth holds in nity. Don’t let fear ruin the game nor be too eager to please. Sel essness is pleasantly disarming while the focus discriminates clearly. The ease and lightness the Saints display all testi es to their courage to be who they are. Never take their kindness as a sign of weakness, their sword is sharper than the hardest diamond. Men would do well to fear their softness. For the love of being, never hesitate for a moment. When there is no regret, time has stopped laying snares.

Creating Heaven Together.

It’s an unspoken mutual agreement and unwritten contract that we are bound by. It can only work if we abandon all partiality and trust the other completely. It’s not a solo ride but a joint endeavour. Not my way but the High Way. Coming together for it to work has to involve giving up the reins. Usually most relationships are based on the power distribution of who’s in charge? Who’s the leader and who’s the follower? We see it everywhere; in the workplace, in the family and in education. When this is clear things can take their course as prescribed. We adapt as circumstance dictate. Either we know or we don’t. Each situation becomes a default role play of who’s who. Even if we don’t agree with the fall out we keep our own inner judgment of what’s what. Now, in times of peace and harmony in ourselves and with our surroundings we feel no need to impose a mental hierarchical structure and we easily adjust between situations without much ado. We slot in naturally and accept our place in society. We know our strengths and we know our weaknesses as we equally see the good and the bad points in others yet we allow for the real di erences to be there. This said and accounted for, there should be a di erent dimension to a spiritual setting. Though much of the same structure exists within religious traditions where the teacher/student relationship is the very framework for a transmission of revelation and insight. But

then what? After the student have received knowledge, enlightenment and gained experience? There must be a shift in address. As the teacher supposedly already is occupying the higher ground, it’s up to the student to rise to join him or her there. That’s why the founder of the Zen Buddhist lineage called it a ‘platform’. An elevated place where we rise to, leaving our individual ego behind. Once there, the purpose is not to rest on our laurels but to embrace a completely new way of being together. Teacher and student alike will have to forego their previous relationship to create together a new dimension. This is di erent from simply holding your own in a spiritual sense but is a complete immersion in allowing being to create anew. Just like in good Aikido, the beauty of the interaction depends not on one persons skill but on the shared ability to blend between them. Up to a point the teacher will have to pull both carts up the hill but once the student graduates, he or she will join the ow and add their own skill to the mix. Then the magic begins to happen. While the teacher is never as good as his best student, meaning his skill is shaped to the ability of the other in order not to do violence upon the situation, in order not to break the harmony. Push the limit yes, stretch it so it expands. Physically the interaction can be beautiful but the real meaningful transformation happens when our consciousness merges and become one experience between us. A shared eld is revealed and we nd ourselves in an altered state of consciousness that we both mutually acknowledge and recognise. This can happen by chance, as a result of the favourable conditions, like when the fruit is ripe it falls. This is often the case when meeting a true teacher, a guru. His or her living presence displaces your natural ego defence mechanisms and your mind and heart opens up. The ability to open up is not based on acquired skill and can therefore be experienced by novices. So if we know this beforehand we can easily gear our interaction towards such an encounter. There’s no guarantee nor promise of a fault free engagement yet the very intention to meet is the key that will unlock and unravel the very process of a shared sel ess engagement. We can never know beforehand. Have no presumptions.

The long and winding Path toward Truth.

The Spiritual Path is a path of endless meetings. Meeting the other is seeing yourself, seeing yourself in a thousand faces. To seek the Truth we look for it in others. Who has it? Who can explain it? Who can show me? We seek out people we believe know the answer, who live the

The Spiritual Elephant in the Room.

Now you see it now you won’t, here you have it here you won’t.. Like when you’re sensing someone’s behind your back but when you turn around he’s not there. Disconcerting if you don’t know but if you trust it’s quite reassuring. Someone’s got your back. Yep that feels good. How can I know? Hmm, that’s tricky. How can we know? The Buddha’s birth itself is preceded by an event with a lot of symbolism. The queen Mahā Māyā, Buddha’s mother, dreamt on a full moon night that she was carried by four devas (spirits) to the Anotatta Lake in the Himalayas. The devas clothed her with heavenly robes after bathing in the lake, and then perfumed her and covered her with owers. Shortly after, a white elephant with six tusks holding a white lotus ower, appeared and circled her three times, and entered her belly through her right side. As the elephant disappeared and the queen woke up and knew that she had received a vital message because the elephant symbolises greatness. Sages were called to interpret this dream and

freedom Truth bestows. Every time we meet, there’s an opportunity to see who we are. When your face turns into glass and becomes transparent a weight is lifted o your shoulders. Now we can relax and look even deeper. Go within the other, look beneath the surface. See yourself within the other. Recognise the same nature from which you both emerge from. Seek out the ones that reside in their own selves. Speak with them. Commune as one. Clarify your thoughts, dispel the myths, sort out your ideas and be at home in the present.

When I went to Tiruvannamalai in southern India to meet with Sri Ram Surat Kumar, a well known yogi and realised Saint, I met someone who had spent his whole life on the path. When I asked him how he had to come to realise the Truth he said “Everything is God” and when I insisted how he said, “I learn from you”. He was known as the beggar Saint sitting at the entrance of the main temple in town. For years seeing, watching, meeting people coming and going. This ability to see his Self in others, to see the direct nature of God in every living soul and in all things, can nd its root in him meeting his own teacher, Sri Swami RamDas, many many years prior.

Meetings such as these are essential for any Truth seeker. To meet with, and to speak with, realised Saints, with people who are at home with themselves in the most profound way, can be life changing. Time is eeting so take each opportunity as a chance to go deeper. Every time anew.

they considered it to be auspicious that she had conceived a child who would become either a world ruler or a buddha. And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David: And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end. Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man? And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God. How can we know? How can you?

The Mindfulness Practice of Now.

Why is ‘now’ a practice for spiritual aspirants? Because it brings us back to ourselves without the outside in uence. It highlights your present conscious awareness. Make every instance a chance to practice. Are you awake to the moment? Recognise from moment to moment who you are in essence. Whether walking, standing or sitting, pay attention to your self. What is moving? What is still? What is the quality of now that never alters? That which you have with you no matter what? What does not change? Ever? Find that still point within and return to it as a matter of training on a daily basis. If we nd that we don’t know, that’s never a bad thing. Rest in that uncertainty. Become at ease with not knowing. Be calm in the knowledge that you can’t know. Only then will you be able to see things clearly without the clutter of your own mind telling you what it knows. This is not solely a luxury of the meditators but something anyone can take on. It’s an introspection, not really a meditation. You actively look. Pay attention like a watchman standing guard. Not only do you see yourself but equally you’ll see everyone else. You’ll nd that they too want to give you what they know, their opinion thinly disguised. A Zen master exclaimed, ‘stop walking around with your dirty shoes inside my mind’. Stop listening to everyone else’s mind as well as your own. When two of you can do this together there’s a chance for peace. Come together in the stillness of the heart. Which is always now. From that sacred ground now speak with each other with the assurance of staying present, aware and conscious. Speak of the silent mind in con dence.

Open Secret.

There’s no privacy in the Truth. At one point in our spiritual evolution we will have to ‘come out’ and acknowledge what is our reality without any hesitancy. No more being a secret and a personal private matter. It’s not a hard dictate but something that will feel completely normal as we want to be completely free where there is nothing to hide, no secrets and no private life. When we dare to bring our inside to the front we no longer apologise for, nor diminish, our convictions. We stand up for Truth and become an advocate for what is real and genuine. We do not fear any criticism because the Truth has set us free. It’s not a personal matter and as such we will point to its objectivity. It’s not mine nor yours but a shared reality deeper than what most people appreciate. Once we unreservedly bear witness to our deepest most experience and put it rst, then we will feel the intoxicating and exhilarating liberation it bestows. When we no longer need to hide or downplay our beliefs we’ll free up our ability to speak of it. We will dare to own it. Like Rumi did:

“When it's cold and raining,

you are more beautiful.

And the snow brings me

even closer to your lips.

The inner secret,

that which was never born,

you are that freshness,

and I am with you now.

I can't explain the goings,

or the comings. You enter suddenly,

and I am nowhere again.

Inside the majesty.”

Under No Assumption.

When I meet you, there is no teacher nor student. No object and subject. There’s only you and me. I have no need to test, I act in accordance with the already established unity. I hold you not to account and make transparent the freedom we embody by simply being with you. I need not teach anything as our inherent relationship is self evident. No disparity between self and Self, or between no self and Self. The personal is taken in its entirety, never separated from the whole. Nothing can disturb the completeness. In this room we light a 59

Under the radar.

Not detectable to the eye we simply have to grasp without relying on sensible proofs. If you allow the other to be, when there’s no longer any you or me, then we might get somewhere. When spiritual experience is not quanti ed nor is needed we’ll have to make due simply with this. A shared experience that doesn’t register inside nor out. Some say it’s beyond, some say it’s here and now, who do you believe? Rumi, a hero of mine, would dance and say, ‘like this’. Individual pro ciency notwithstanding, the common good takes precedence. What is yours becomes mine and what is mine is already yours. Like the Buddha who came to the shore with his Sangha, found themselves on the other side, having relinquished their personal pride.

Subservient.

Why is the spiritual life a life of service? ‘Jesus called them together and said’, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high o cials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be rst must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Ramakrishna bowed down to Vivekananda when he saw him. Vivekananda was taken aback and exclaimed; “Master, why do you bow down to me your disciple?” -“I do not bow down to you but to the sa ron robe you wear as a sign of renunciation”.

So who do we bow down to and respect? Who do we venerate and look up to if not to the One within ourselves? Then no one is exempt our respect. Everyone becomes equal in respect and honour and no one deserves it more than the other. The Self that is in me is the same Self in every other person so I see you as that; my very own Self. That is the One I address and that’s why Anandamayi Ma meets you exactly where you are. There is no segregation beyond what you think yourself to be. Perfect adaptation to who you are. Why? Because we see the Self in all. In That you are ful lled to the maximum of who you are. Complete Self ful lment re ected in your own being.

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re that will only enlighten what is already so, spilling over as it reveal more and more. The function is the coming together. Grasping together the momentousness of our meeting.

Morals and ethics, martial codes and edicts, all stem from spiritual understanding. The origin of our legal laws comes from grasping fundamental spiritual truths. All virtue ows from a surrendered heart to the Spirit. It can be cultivated but only because it preexist as a base norm in human beings. Our original Self’s true nature is Love. Absolute Love rules our behaviour in minute detail. The more awake we are to it, the more in touch we will be to its fundamental nature. It’s an Absolute call from the Divine to the individual. Fess up and conform. Surrender and give in. Crawl to the cross and humble yourself. Humility is seen to be a virtue but it’s simply facing the music, the real situation that God alone IS. Truth and Love, the two sides of the coin, dictates our morality and ethics. To the degree that you’re in touch with this spiritual essence of the universe, to the same degree will you acknowledge that these morals are the very same bres that make up your own individual self. An Ego sees this as an imposition and pretends its ‘human made’ and sco s at it, while making up its own rules of what’s correct and what’s not. Making a mockery of our Saints and founding fathers. Or, the Ego realising there’s no denying of the real state of a airs tries to ‘own’ it by outlining a progressive path to achieve an ethical outlook. The Warriors code on morals and conduct are nothing but the true expression of any human being’s appreciation of Life itself. Our Ego can’t own it, nor can we be without it. To accept it we do not need to achieve anything. Martial prowess does nothing to elevate it beyond what it already is. Believing somehow that skill will enable your moral compass is hyper arrogant reserved for those of lesser understanding. Martial values and Samurai codes follow spiritual dictates, based on the fundamental truth of mankind; that God is Love.

Guidance.

When I was in Ladakh, northern India, I visited Likir Gompa among others. This lovely monastery was within easy reach of Leh, a bus ride and a pleasant hike up a narrow river valley where we had a quick icy dip before joining the Buddhist monks in their temple. We were invited in for traditional Tibetan salted butter tea (yes it’s an acquired taste) while the Lamas were preparing a large sand mandala on the oor. Four ve monks were working sitting cross legged, facing the circular mandala. There were several young novice monks there as well, helping and learning the craft. The temple was dark inside, lit up by butter

Spirit First.

G O D

What does God mean? What does the concept mean? When I was a young teenager I classi ed myself as an atheist. I would not believe in anything that was not in my direct experience. If I could not see it, feel it or understand it, it had no bearing on me. But I did not discard the notion of God, or for that matter any other thing that lied beyond my comprehension, but shelving it till a time when I would have an urge to delve into it. So I tried to make sense out of the concept ‘God’ as I understood it, because it could not be ignored or dismissed as simply a ction of our imagination. After all, most world religions and spiritual movements claim God to be their ‘be all and end all’. So I gured I needed to come to terms with it from my own direct apprehension. So I thought, if God is who and what they say he is, the word itself (God) must encompass and include within itself all other things. No thing could lie outside of the concept of God. So just as a word, it would be THE word that would contain all other words within itself. Simply through its own nature of being limitless, timeless, creator and sustainer of the universe, no other word we have would surpass or be able to encompass ‘God’. It is simply THE word that overreaches all other words. So with that in mind, I thought that if God exists, if ‘He’ is real, he must exist within me. Because if he is everywhere, through all time, he must also be inside of me. But not just as a part, because if he is everything, he must be all of me. Every cell of my body must be his very

lamps and a kerosene lamp it gave not only a soft light but gave o a scent particular to Tibetan monasteries. It was as if we’ve been transported back in time. We didn’t do much conversation but as we were a novelty the young ones were excited and played up a little bit like Tibetan kids can do. Good humoured and jovial. They tried their english skills on us. As we bantered the elder monk did something that has stuck with me since. He leaned slightly towards the teenager, put the gentlest hand on his arm, gestured and said something very softly. The boy changed his cheeky expression to one of a genuine smile, his eyes beaming. Still very much with us but now also aware of the Buddha Dharma and his peers and teachers. The care and love I learned there was immense. With a gentle prod we come back to who we are. No need for big remonstrations, and equally important, we see the helpfulness of guidance. Sila, the moral precepts of Buddhism is the cornerstone and foundation for all further attainment. It is its Path and its Goal simultaneously.

own. And if that is the case, there can be no me, but only Him. So I concluded that ‘I’ must be God. There was no way around it, if he is what he says he is, I must be him. If He is everything, which is simply based on the fact that the word itself connotes the total inclusion of all other things within itself. If he would be real and true as all religions state, and as millions of believers throughout the ages agree with, then I would nd him within everything that I am. I only needed to look closely. That’s how I started out, my quest for truth absolute. To nd the meaning of the words.

My Grandmother’s Faith.

When I came home from my long journey to the East after two and a half years, I went rst to my grandmothers home. I wanted to speak with her about all the things I had discovered for myself on my journey of self discovery. I was excited to share with her and also ask of her own experience, knowing she was a lifelong deeply believing Christian. During my travels I had discovered and studied to a degree the religions and philosophies of Asia, and had also dipped my toe into Buddhist meditation practices. I was very exited as I had begun to experience a deeper part of Life and also to my very own interior. I had come to realise there was much more to it than what met the eye. So I was eager to ask her what she thought about all these spiritual and religious notions I had encountered, and I began by rambling on about reincarnation, nirvana and samsara and such. Lovely as she was she would just smile and then tell me she had no idea about those kind of things. But, I insisted, isn’t it SO interesting and important to know? Then she said something that have stayed with me ever since, “I don’t need to know about those matters”. With my whole face being a question-mark, “but why not?” And she said, “It’s already been taken care of”, and I go, “What? How???” “Jesus have taken care of it for me!” My jaw dropped. Her Faith and her life served as her testimony. She didn’t need any intricate theology (though I’m certain she hid her knowledge real well) but a life lived in Christ and the care and compassion she exuded far outweighed any philosophical rantings on my part. It was/is the greatest lesson for me.

Are not mutually exclusive. They pair up as the perfect match and complement each other beyond the Egos knowing. It’s so often heard that people shy away from the notion of communion because they believe they’ll give away their autonomy. But nothing could be further from the Truth. In the spiritual experience and understanding of communion we become One. We come to take part together in the one essence (Spirit) that we share. We tap into a communal source, that is as the same time the very fundament of our own self. We’d jump into the same sea as it were. We don’t dissolve into nothingness but come to experience a greater body of water, where all participate equally. Some more consciously than others. The aim is to awaken people to this shared endeavour. You can share it through love and a ect people around you but even better is to wake them up to this way, make them aware, so they are able to appreciate it for themselves. But mind you, it’s more than just becoming less sel sh and more loving. It’s to consciously wanting to realise Union in Spirit, to experience Oneness of Being with others. This requires will volition intent and follow through. Wanting to be free, more than anything else, with others, opens a doorway into something very rare; autonomous communion. A conscious experience of union and a recognition of a greater force inherent in that oneness. Truth is then no longer a personal objective but a shared experience; a living and moving relationship with Truth itself, in and amongst many. In this greater scheme of things, your integrity and autonomy is boosted and enhanced beyond belief. You’ll nd yourself within a greater experience of life, intimately connected to all others around you but foremost to the divine force that interconnects the ow between you. You become more awake, no more an insular entity but a part of moving life cycle that never stops. You come to rest within the uctuation between absolute stillness and owing coherent motion. Silky smooth or rapid torrent depending on the circumstances. We realise our autonomy is not reliant on a smaller sense of self but on the surrender and giving over to a greater sel ess identi cation in that which includes us all; our present conscious awareness. Seeing who we are without the limits imposed as to time and space. This communion is the natural result of ending divisiveness, separation and ignorance. This is taking love to another level. It’s the ability to create union out of separateness without loosing independence. This process can begin at any level and go as deep as you want, as long as you’re willing to shed your Ego (your personal sense of self) along the way.

Autonomy and Communion.

I have called you friends.

Why is it, after years of silence, one is called upon to endorse someone’s book? Being called friend, though not once being contacted in the meantime. Twenty thirty odd years since I saw any of them. Isn’t it weird? And what’s even more ironical is that it happens in the name of Spirit, Truth and Communion. In my book, a relationship is reciprocal, a two-way street where both and all parties are involved. In Aikido this is self evident, as it is in marriage. We can’t do Aikido if uke doesn’t want to play and, like in a marriage, we go back and forth, exchanging dynamics. This is life, a constant engagement with each other. It is in the relationship we discover union and it’s in the continuity we build and form lasting friendships. In a spiritual endeavour this amounts to respect, honour and dedication to the Truth itself without loosing touch with the very real implications of the normal day to day relationship between us. It takes two to Tango. The same goes in a teacher/student relationship. Both parties have to make an e ort. We can’t just expect to be served on a plate. Deluded arrogant self conceit is the very antithesis of a liberated spiritual and human perspective. This is actually self evident among most normal people, with or without a spiritual interest. I’m left wondering at the Egos tenacity to disguise its intent. To be nobody, to have nothing and to know nothing, is simply not that straight forward. Why can’t we simply have some human courtesy? It’s actually not that di cult when you think about it.

Being Human.

There is no excuse for being human. The human path, unavoidable till our demise, is fraught with di culties. I always thought it was easy to live, but then, I’ve been very privileged. Never had to want for anything. Being one of the 7.8 billion people now living, possibly consisting of at most four or ve generations, feels like being a speck among a limitless number. Yet 7.8 billion people doesn’t seem many when compared to the size of our universe. We could be gone in a second and nobody would notice. Our existence, grand as it seems to us, is but a blip in the history of the universe. In nitely small and insigni cant. And I have hardly grown up yet, going on sixty. My experience and accumulated knowledge is minuscule, nothing compared to the immense knowledge humans have accrued since we rst set foot here. So with this in mind, we all can do well to help each other. One generation helping the next. Knowing we’re all in the same boat and hopefully being able to view our

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own re ection through the mirror of transparency, individually as well as collectively. Then no one will sit in authority over you and we all will share the same journey from birth to death and beyond. This large mirror that re ects the whole world hides nothing and we are all seen in the same light. This mirror can be our standard when we learn to navigate life together. The past, present and future, all there to help us see the way forward. Being human, a joint adventure.

Cultivate Virtue, the natural state.

Cultivate your heart and train your body. Keep your mind away from hate and division. In a moment of crises your heart will automatically respond, appropriately using your trained body to do the absolute minimum to end aggression. You don’t have to think about it, it will kick in by itself when pushed to the limit just as an animal will turn and defend itself or its loved ones in a moment of desperation. But this will not be uncontrolled rage but a short and measured reaction to end the hostility. It’s the inherent life survival mechanism now tempered by your training, and since your training has been in virtue and not in violence your body will never do more than absolutely necessary to ward o an attack. There’s a breaking point where we as human beings won’t allow for more abuse and we will act to stop it. We never need to preempt this action as it’s an inherent knowing that reacts when prompted, like a cat being cornered. It will lash out to save its own skin, an explosive defence with claws and teeth as it makes its escape. A human being will do the same instinctively but here’s the di erence, if we have trained the body and cultivated our mind and heart, our reaction will occur within the absolute minimum of what’s needs to be done in order to end the aggression. This is not a berserker rampage that cares not for life and limb but a measured powerful short burst of energy that ideally quells the oppression. It will surprise you as much as it will the other. It is as if a divine order has been restored. Peace returns as violence could not be allowed to go on. This is the natural state of a airs, we all will want to return to peace. This is why we cultivate virtue, and not to let violence get the better of us so it escalates into war. Peace must be our natural habitat. So don’t turn that on its head and believe that through the practice of violence you can defeat violence. You will only add to it and empower it. That’s why Aikidoka trains body mind and heart in peace. You can if you want but there’s no need to pressure test in the octagon. If you throw yourself in with the wolves you will be shaped by their desire and wants. Rather, sit with the

Saints, cultivate a pure heart, learn about life. Work towards sanity and help others. Train hard and never stop learning. Re ne your practice over years of thoughtful insight and contemplation. Never lay a hand in vain.

Maturity.

When we awaken, we’ll have to grow up. Since awakening can happen at any time in your life, the sooner you take responsibility the better. Because waking up to the true nature of who you are means that you will have to be real. No more irresponsible living. You come to see that your actions mean a lot. No more super cial and shallow sel sh behaviour can be justi ed. You’ll have to mature real fast. It’s a wake up call. The sooner you can take life seriously the better. What you haven’t learnt before enlightenment you’ll have to pick up afterwards. So no matter when you arrive at the moment or period of awakening, you will have to face the music. How mature are you? If you haven’t done the work beforehand you’ll just have to catch up afterwards. Some readily accepts this responsibility while others struggle to come to terms with it. Our past conditioning play a major role. It’s not easy to change our ways if we have to. But we mustn’t give up. It’s important for our awakening to grow. Sometimes it’s simply about changing your attitude, from a critical low self esteem, from an angry outlook, or from a negative self defeating attitude. Or reining in our biased views and opinionated ideas to have a more open inquisitive mindset. Daring to question our assumptions, our pre xed ideas. Many times your awakening can clean house. In one big swoop all the old goes out and you’re able to breathe afresh. Everything is new and exciting. Never looking back you are as born again and can’t wait to get out there to meet the world, free at last. Now your cultivated maturity will stand you in good steed. You’re ready to live free!

Liberation is Exciting.

If you have it you will be excited. Though you might be composed on the outside I’m sure you’re thrilled on the inside. The nature of Enlightenment is re. A living ame that burns. It is a bubbling wellspring of joy. Hard to contain. We will see it in your eyes and in your smile. We will also see compassion and sincerity. We will see maturity beyond your years. Truth hurts some say. That is the Passion. Passion

is like a wild re. It can jump from person to person, igniting hearts in its path. There are no secret techniques that will ready you for this. Be dry wood, that’s it. Rumi describes it beautifully:

“Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened. Don't open the door to the study and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument. Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.”

“The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don't go back to sleep. You must ask for what you really want. Don't go back to sleep. People are going back and forth across the doorsill where the two worlds touch. The door is round and open. Don't go back to sleep.”

The Nature of Awakening.

If two people wake up at the same time they will share the same realisation, as they will do with all people past, present and future. Depending on who they are, their capacity will be di erent from each other. Both will display an awakened consciousness but their expression and comprehension will di er. Their individual level of maturity will play a major role. Enlightenment gives you that baseplate upon which you’ll build your character. It’ll give you the tools (wisdom) and strength (love) to assemble who you want to be. If your realisation is deep and sustained, you will be transformed by its own gravity. Rough corners need to be addressed unless you want to give spiritual realisation a bad name. Ego can never be treated lightly. Calling it ‘crazy wisdom’ or Divine madness that is enlightened activity let lose with a lot of unexamined Ego still running the show. It is Upaya on steroids. Upaya is the Buddhist term for skilful means; the alternative adaptive teaching style that conforms automatically to the situation at hand, to rid the seeker of their lapse of attention to the real. Allowing yourself a free range of responses that rise from the Self (as it were) without any checks. This can be very powerful and to the point, authentic no doubt, but if rising out of, and through a less developed Ego, the resulting action will be coloured by the vehicle it courses through. So if you haven’t addressed your own Ego, maybe never even questioned it, then your ‘enlightenment’ will be the very expression of that personality. If you have opened yourself to direct in uence of the Spirit, it doesn’t mean you’re home scot-free. Your own unexamined and untempered Ego can and will steal the show unless you’re very careful. Worst case

scenario, you open yourself to Spirit and another spirit takes advantage and takes your place. Pretending to be the true expression of your own being. You might fall for it and believe you’ve struck gold, now believing that you are for real while expressing a very self-serving point of view. Yes you might be spot on, in regards to your direct observation but your automatic response may lack the overall love and care, the compassion needed to truly help someone. A quick x is not always what’s needed. Spirit possession can take all kinds of shapes so do be careful. That is why in all major religions the stress on the moral and ethical foundation is key to a later complete realisation of the Godhead, or Truth Absolute. It ensures that we cultivate the vehicle so we can distinguish between right and wrong, good and bad. When we realise that Love is the essence of who we are, we can’t let us get away with ‘murder’ in the name of truth. Upaya, skilful means, is exactly this distinction. This real adaptive method of the Buddha, or of anyone truly realised, has been misrepresented and misdirected as to be named ‘Crazy Wisdom’, serving as excuse or cover for people’s lesser realisations, branding their own unleashed Egos to be masquerading as true self. No doubt true to a point but heavily in uenced and shaped by unexamined Ego, or worse, by a malevolent spirit possession where you’ve sold your soul to the devil. The very re-branding of Upaya and naming it ‘crazy wisdom’ gives the game away. The Ego can’t but help itself, bragging of it, hijacking the very truth itself. Be careful then, these teachers are very powerful. There’s a ne line to tread, where does perfect and direct action cross over and become destructive? This I believe, is a learning curve. As long as you pay attention to your own responses, automatic or not, the better you’ll fare in the future. Examine yourself and ask yourself; how did it land? How well was it received? Shock and awe is not always the right course though no doubt you can get o on the rush it will give you. A direct response from the Self is exhilarating, it comes from a depth within you that thrills the very sense of who you are. This is an almost irresistible temptation for the Ego, to claim ownership and to derive the power released inherent in the message delivered. Very tricky ground.

The very wonderful Dharma heir of Chán Buddhism, Zen Master Huang Po, mysteriously told it simply like this;

“Some years after his ordination, while journeying to Mount T’ien T’ai, Huang Po fell in with a monk with whom he soon came to feel like an old acquaintance; so they continued their journey together. Finding the way barred by a mountain stream in ood, our Master lent upon his sta and halted, at which his friend entreated him to proceed.

“No. You go rst,” said our Master. So the former oated his big straw rain-hat on the torrent and easily made his way to the other side.

“I, sighed the Master, have allowed such a fellow to accompany me! I ought to have slain him with a blow of my sta !”

Make Apparent.

How can what seems in nitely far away, beyond our grasp, unattainable, become apparent, within reach and knowable? Why does Zen laud chop wood, carry water, to be the resultant, the evidence of realisation? When everything’s been said and done normal language return to convey the profoundest of truths. Unspeakable mysteries makes way for plain communication and clear understanding. We bring the unknowable mystery into life when we open our eyes. The transformation that occurs at awakening is a revolution, a turn around of how we view things. What used to be far away is now up close, what used to be deep is now at the surface. Like the wringing of a glove, the past becomes present and the present becomes the past. You used to look out, now you look in. While a change in perspective and in direction is a blessing and a liberation, overturning years gone past in one big swoop, the still point in between cancels out each opposing view and you’ll nd yourself pleasantly abiding in the here and now.

“There is a rapture inside that wants to take place. It has nothing to do with personal feelings towards others. It’s a rapture of recognition of the truth of non-abidance, of non-existence.”

“Emptiness doesn’t wait for anyone. Emptiness will not justify itself. It moves on. It is like a current that moves across anything that is standing still. No blame. It’s a force that doesn’t acknowledge any arguments. Blessed is he who lets go. If he succeeds his life will be a river.”

River of Time.

What makes movement possible? I’d say Time. My heart beats thanks to time. What makes growth possible if not time? What is experience if not time itself? My mind is nothing but the very experience of time. What you experience now is time. Everlasting never ending time. Cast yourself into it and you’ll nd a movement so wonderful, so huge, it will

take your breath away. Like a tidal wave moving you forward. It’s a constant so you never notice it, you’re so used to it, you never stop to look. Let it become your meditation and enlarge your grasp of it. From the movement of your own self forward in time to the very expansion of the universe itself. Like a river making its way down the valley, expanding and lling all pockets of space with its increasing mass of water. Emptiness lling the void like a hand in glove. Time and Space, inseparable like cat and mouse. This gives us an idea of the speed with which it escapes us. If you stop and look it immediately vanishes beyond and we will scramble to keep up.