Strands of Thought by Bjorn Saw

STRANDS OF THOUGHT

Bankei Zen

Once, after Bankei had given a talk at the Korin-ji, a samurai proud of his skill in the fighting arts approached him for an interview.

"I trained for many years in the art of duelling," he said. "Once I had it mastered, my arms moved in perfect accord with my mind. Now, if I face an opponent, my blade will split his skull before his weapon even moves. It's just like you possessing the Dharma eye." "You say you have perfected your skill in your art," Bankei said. "Try to strike me!" The samurai hesitated for an instant. "My blow has already fallen," said Bankei. The man's jaw sagged. "I'm astonished," he sighed. "Your stroke is swifter than the spark off a flint. My head rolls at my feet. Please, master, teach me the essentials of Zen.”

One winter when Bankei was preaching during a retreat at the Sanyu-ji in Bizen province, laity and priests from Bizen and Bitchu assembled in great numbers to hear him. At a place called Niwase, in Bitchu, there was a large temple of the Nichiren sect, whose head priest was a learned cleric deeply venerated by his congregation. By that time, Bankei’s name was already known far and wide, and his teaching inspired great respect, so the Nichiren priest’s followers all came to attend the meetings. Resenting this, the priest told them, “I’ve heard that Bankei isn’t really enlightened. If I went there, I could give him a question I know he couldn’t answer. I could stop him with a single word.”

So saying he showed up at one of the meetings. Standing at the rear of the assembly, in the middle of Bankei’s talk he said in a loud voice, “The people here all listen to your talk and believe what you tell them. But someone like myself could never be expected to agree with the essential idea of your teaching. How can you save me when I don’t accept your teaching?” Bankei raised up his fan and said, “Would you move forward here a little?” The priest moved forward. “Please come forward a bit more,” said Bankei.

The priest advanced again. “Look how well you accept it!” said Bankei. The priest withdrew stupidly without saying another word.

Some years after his ordination, while journeying to Mount T’ien T’ai, Huang Po fell in with a monk with whom he soon came to feel like an old acquaintance; so they continued their journey together. Finding the way barred by a mountain stream in flood, our Master lent upon his staff and halted, at which his friend entreated him to proceed.

“No. You go first,” said our Master. So the former floated his big straw rain-hat on the torrent and easily made his way to the other side. “I,” sighed the Master, “have allowed such a fellow to accompany me! I ought to have slain him with a blow of my staff!”

Natural Being This will be a revelation. You could never have believed it being so close. It is what and who you are. So difficult to point out and so easy to miss. Yet nothing is more natural. If you grasp it you'll be astounded. In relationship it becomes obvious. Any deviation is seen because leaving the natural is leaving the unity of the relationship. As long as you haven't seen your own natural freedom you won't know how to navigate the sea of emotions nor the landscape of your own mind. Many times we think we know ourselves and are happy to work within a maelstrom of thoughts and feelings believing this is the normal state. That is the perpetual life of samsara, the never ceasing cycle of birth and death. Find a way out. I will point to it. Look back at yourself, closer than you've looked before and see your natural self being ignored. Never trusted nor valued now it will save your behind. Overlooked you never believed it to hold the keys to your own freedom. Still don't trust it? Try it out. Check it out in relationship. It is the perfect mirror for your own reflection. Stay true and see everyone else stumble in front of your eyes. No pride or arrogance is allowed in. Humbly see the naturalness being wildly missed and overlooked by all around. They go in and out of it all the time but don't recognise the borderlands. You stray into your natural being all the time yet leave it as you don't recognise it to be your own home. In the warm home countries of Buddhism they speak of the coolness of nirvana, chilling in the shade away from the glaring sun of hot emotions and fierce critique. Once

you find your own natural being you won't leave it for anything. Yet it's not yours to be possessed. Many can meet in the shade and hold a pleasant conversation under the tree. So natural, so free.

Down and dirty. If you want to be free, really free, not just feeling happy, then you got to be ready to get down and dirty. All smiles won't do. Stop hanging out with the happy bunch where you collude in the sameness of beliefs and lick your wounds in secret. Dare to question your attitude with a raw look at reality. Dare to admit your own shit. Stop trying to be an example of what you believe others need. But don't digress into anger and frustration. Face the truth of who you are in relationship with others. Meet others with a healthy sense of honesty, with a no nonsense approach to your own life. Recognise we're all in the same boat. From there, there's a possibility to meet in something very real, very loving and fantastically positive and life affirming. Humility comes from knowing who you are in this life, freedom comes from not holding anything back. Don't pretend. Meeting means being naked. Transparent and open.

The Spiritual foundation of Aikido Why do some arts claim a spiritual foundation? Yoga and Aikido stand as good examples of this controversial idea. Many Christians bark at it, and dare not approach it. What does it mean to have a spiritual foundation? Is it something that will seep in unnoticed? Infiltrate us unknowingly? Are we unconsciously allowing in foreign spirits? Are we being duped into believing in a quasi religion? Are we being manipulated by evil dark forces? Some people are genuinely concerned about these questions. Are we idol worshippers laying our trust in fanciful imagination? Is it dangerous? Why do we bow to a picture of an old man? Why do we put our hands together in a Pranam, the Indian way of greeting someone? Why do we have a Kamidana, a wall-shrine in the dojo, in our training hall where we practice the Way. Not knowing anything about Eastern culture and history it's understandable that people react with suspicion and question the reasons behind these prominent features of our art. Are we able to explain it clearly to them? It's very important that we should be able to, and that we ourselves understand what they mean and represent.

To me, the spiritual foundation of any art lies in its principles and in its philosophical context. These principles might seem obscure to the untrained eye and its philosophical context may be foreign to many. It takes study to penetrate to its essence. Worship and devotion to one God may seem to exclude any other influence but from ones own chosen path. Many people are satisfied with an exclusive worldview, one that tolerates (at best) but dismisses other expressions of the spirit. Fear of the unknown masquerades as righteousness. How blatantly arrogant this comes across. It would be funny if it wasn't so important that many times they criticise religiosity in their own faith yet can't see their own rigid adherence to fixed ideas and beliefs. What if one would ask what the spiritual principles were? What if one would take the time to find out? What would it be like wanting to understand instead of dismissing?

What's that smell? Travelling abroad we encountered many new sights, sounds, smells and flavours. We learned to live in completely new conditions. We had to accustom ourselves to different lifestyles as we journeyed from region to region. We had no choice but to experience what we met. We could not run from it. Here at home it seems people are allergic to anything just out of the ordinary. Anything different or unusual is deemed odd and strange. We don't even allow the time to get used to new experiences, valuing our normal way of life to be the best by far. It just hit me how much encountering and living in different circumstances teach us that life is not one thing. It is many things and all things are equally interesting. There's so much variety in this world and having had the fortune to experience a fraction is a blessing. So next time you say 'what's that smell?' bear with it. It might become a new part of your life.

A Thousand Lives I live infinite lives and infinite lifetimes. I encounter you everywhere through time and wherever I turn there I meet you. You fulfil me with thousands of costumes and with a million of faces. Every skill, every need is displayed. I find your workshop brimming with activity. Now if I can lend a hand I don't

need to look far. How many are we? I can't say one can I? Infinite as the stars I meet you wherever you are.

Every time we meet. Individually understanding the truth is a world apart from understanding it together with others. We must wake up together. With this confirmation we bring about a change in ourselves and in those around us. We enlarge the circle and it is also felt by the individuals locked into themselves. The awakening of several people together have social consequences. We create a different culture of being together. We grow as a group, as a community or as a couple. We come to share a larger body that has a mind of its own. But we can't take it for granted. It has to be realised each time we meet. To begin with it does not need to be a big event. We just need to get on the same page. Lay down our differences of opinion and meet in a restful not-knowing in anticipation of a creative engagement where we pursue the dismantling of the personal ego identification in favour of a larger sense of self where we merge into a oneness of being. This can be done through close introspection while inquiring with others, questioning our assumptions of limitations. Opening up and surrendering held ideas we fall into a context that includes everyone. We begin to see with the same eyes, understand with the same heart, respond from a live active field.

Deconstruction Lately I've been having to re-evaluate my Aikido. After meeting and training with Dan Harden it seems like I've deconstructed everything that was established and started again. Like I'm taking apart what I've learned through the years and slowly put it back together. I find myself apologising to my students for not being very clear in my teaching these days. A little confused but confident it all will come back together in a better way at one point. Dan is teaching me the internal aspects of our Aiki practice and it is somewhat a new dimension albeit much has been touched upon before yet never explained and shown in such detail. I know years of training and focus lies ahead in order to fully incorporate these new insights but I'm confident that much of my old learning will come into its own with renewed vigour after instilling it with fresh understanding. Heaven Earth Man, six directions, In Yo relationship, fill out with Ki, establish a Hara. Back to the drawing board, back to training.

Under the Influence. Coming in under the tent-canvas we gather together. Many times never aware of the overreaching canopy and its holding capacity. The larger the span the less we notice it. Yet it serves a purpose. We enter and feel immediately at home. We relax and find many other sharing the space. While the tent bearers are well aware of the properties of the cover and what holds it up, some that gather within are simply happy to be out of the sun. Knowing that the tent cover and contain everyone, I marvel at the peace it bestows. Anyone coming into the clearing will be under its spell, will enjoy the bliss without having to do a thing. If you pay close attention you may catch a glimpse of the people ordained for its upkeep. The tent bearers may be few but you can always join them, taking on the responsibility of holding the space open. We gather within, under the influence and see what makes sense.

My Concern I've traveled a path not many follow. The further I've gone the less visible it becomes. I trace the footsteps of people ahead yet the path becomes smaller and smaller. There are no more road signs and no one to show the way. An ancient path I know is there and I'm confident it'll lead me right. I see it right in front of me just like Lakshmana followed close behind his brother Rama on the trail. Now to bring this back to the practice of Aikido may seem a bit far fetched but I'll give it a go. The interrelation in a fight is usually one of contention and combat. The best fighter wins the day. Even in Aikido this can be seen as one views the other and executes skilfully to dominate. Soft push hand exercises turn hard the moment we want to overcome and both lock on to battle. The struggle begins. From no contention to striving to win. This bothers me. Every time we engage we switch on, frame up and root down, turning into an immovable moving force. Now let the best man win, the strongest Shugyosha takes the price. In a world of fighters there is nothing higher. O Sensei must have displayed all this mastery yet what was it that took his vision beyond the duality of the fight? When did the need to overcome go? When did he take the fight out of the fight? How can we pacify someone without resorting to domination? Is it possible to come to a mindset that never views for an advantage? That never tries to come out on top. When the very desire to prove your worth is gone. When the fear of failure no longer incapacitates you. When the smallest touch of resistance becomes a point of reflection. And all this without having to stand your ground, hold your point of view, or keep

your guard up. When will this become first priority? When is the Ego ready to surrender its arms? But not only that. When will it turn all its experience into its own undoing. When will it actively work for the complete unification that underlies all relationships and all engagements. Now how does this tie in with the Ramayana? If you follow closely behind not letting yourself be entangled on the narrow pathway through the forest. What kind of mindset is this. What is your heart set on? What does your senses tell you? Where lies your devotion?

The Measure of Man. The Imperial Regalia of Japan ( Sanshu no Jingi/Mikusa no Kandakara), also known as the Three Sacred Treasures of Japan, consist of the sword Kusanagi ( Kusanagi no Tsurugi), the mirror Yata no Kagami ( ), and the jewel Yasakani no Magatama ( ). They can be said to have the measure of every man. Because as we understand their significance we realise they mean something about us, individually and collectively. The jewel (or pearl as it is) represents the Truth. The truth absolute inherent in all men. A secret we must find in order to fully understand life. The mirror represents the reflective quality of truth. In it nothing can be hidden and all our features are seen just as they are. This becomes obvious when we communicate with each other. All of our ego behaviour stand out in stark contrast to the purity of the mirror. The sword represents the discriminative wisdom cutting this ego mind of ours. It's double edged as to cut both ways. All fall by its blade. Both you and I. Leaving a pristine beauty for us to behold together as one realised being. It stands the test of time and will forever be the measure of mankind.

We're going somewhere! It's not just a pleasant experience. Nor is it a mere social event. It's a mission. We come together for a specific purpose. It has evolution written all over it. How does mankind elevate itself above strife and conflict? Do we do it one at a time or on mass? There's a telling story from the Buddha Canon, when He reached the shore of the Ganga with all his monks and nuns, his renunciants and followers, they all appeared on the opposite shore in the blink of an eye. If we are so blessed to find a community set on transformation, not only of ourselves but of humanity as a whole we can't wait nor hesitate. Full

participation is needed, all hands on deck. Not for your sake but for the sake of the whole. A purpose-filled life makes our lives complete. In the knowledge that our contribution is vital and important we make the effort to share our experience with others in order to benefit and gain help from the collective sum total. Now what happens if we dare? Going deeper we venture to tap into something that's going to break the mould, something that will change the course of history. Intention serves our purpose and guides us forward in our journey of discovery.

यदा पञ्चावितष्ठन्ते ज्ञानािन मनसा सह । बुिद्धश्च न िवचेष्टते तामाहुः परमां गितम् ॥ १० ॥ तां योगिमित मन्यन्ते िस्थरािमिन्द्रयधारणाम् । अप्रमत्तस्तदा भवित योगो िह प्रभवाप्ययौ ॥ ११ II Only when Manas (mind) with thoughts and the five senses stand still, and when Buddhi (intellect, power to reason) does not waver, that they call the highest path. That is what one calls Yoga, the stillness of the senses, concentration of the mind, It is not thoughtless heedless sluggishness, Yoga is creation and dissolution. — Katha Upanishad, 2.6.10-11

Taking things for granted. Subscribing to a unified spiritual worldview does not necessarily guarantee us a liberated life. Believing in oneness and in the 'be here now', non-duality and loving kindness does not ensure us freedom in Spirit. Just because we hold a view that is philosophically correct does not necessarily mean that it will affect your life. Believing and having Faith in Truth does not confer any special gifts. Taking your religion for granted will never be enough to resolve life's mysteries. For our understanding to come alive, for our Faith to mean anything, we need to awaken it continuously. We must prove it as we get on with life. In every interaction we need to express it. Love is an action. A way we relate.

I partake in your experience. You influence me. You rub off on me. This has greater significance than what we might first believe. If and when I open myself to you, take you in in your entirety, I allow your self into me. By doing so I come to partake in your activity. I feel and know where you're coming from. I gain your experience. By direct insight into who you are I learn and grow as a human being. I come to see more and more of the richness human experience contain. Your life enriches mine. All I have to do is to suspend judgement, become bare and open my senses. I also see your lack or your pain. I learn about myself in your reflection. I'm no longer only one self. I partake in the human experience through so many lives. I see myself in you and I learn. Awakening compassion and love towards all beings comes from this recognition. That we are one self in many different shapes and forms. This will awaken a care, not a detachment. It will awaken a special conscience that in everything you do you're very aware of the consequences of your actions. Touch becomes a healing tool, speech becomes wisdom and all duality ceases. Ueshiba: 'How was I able to understand the true Bu that had eluded all others? Where did I find the answer? I had looked for it in all kinds of martial art schools, but I was not able to find it in any school conceived by human beings. Then, where on Earth was it? I will tell you then how I, Ueshiba, was able to understand it. I asked questions to myself and then understood. I have the universe inside me. Everything is in me. I am the Universe itself so there is no me. Moreover, since I am the Universe there is only me and no other. Everything was within me. I found it when I became enlightened. Well then, how can one achieve enlightenment? The answer is that we must stand on Ame no Ukihashi, the Floating Bridge of Heaven.'

The inability to take criticism. There's a very important hurdle in our spiritual walk that needs to be addressed if we are to progress past a certain point. If we never allow ourselves to unhindered listen to critique we will never be able to face our own Ego. It's the fiercely protective and independent sense of self that abhors any hint of self-critique. At the slightest sign of being challenged with the truth of oneself there's instant refusal to look or to acknowledge what is being pointed at. Instead there's an immediate gut reaction to throw it back at the giver. Blaming them for what is exactly being pointed out in you. This inability

to take feedback shows a fearful relationship to oneself and mistrust of other people's intention. This lack will hinder any kind of real communication about what is true and what is not true. There's no need to always argue your point of view in response to any critique coming your way. When we have lost our pride we have no more need to defend our Ego and can gladly look it in its face. Then for the first time we'll be able to enjoy the liberating freedom this kind of humility bestows. And a fascinating and thrilling investigation can ensue in pursuit of what is true. It's not always easy to face oneself but with a larger perspective, seeing the impersonality of our shared human condition it lends itself to the common understanding; that we're all in the same boat. We all face the same predicament. If we ever are going to get along this is what's needs to happen. Swallow our pride and just get on with the nitty gritty of daily life. When we begin to naturally do this out of a genuine sense of not wanting to miss a beat, not wanting to get anything to come between us, we will always look at what is true. This is genuine Truth-seeking, wanting to be real in relationships. But it's not a finger-pointing exercise pointing out faults but rather a deep wish to communicate without hindrances.

Nio Guardians On our left and on our right they stand. Fiercely looking down at us as we approach the temple. Intimidated we pass through their shadow now a little more quiet then before. What is it they see? What is it they look out for? What is it in us they prick? Being two they cover all aspects, positive as well as negative, nothing goes unnoticed. Interestingly, originally they were one being but over time they separated into two polar opposites yet still representing the unity of the whole. Why the fierce attitude? What is it that get their rag up? Originally depicted as a benevolent character, an all-loving Supreme Being, pure in essence beyond this world. Now they stand watching who comes and who goes into the temple. Making sure we're not carrying any ill-will with us into the sanctuary. Letting us know in no uncertain terms that nothing will go unpunished. So when we rinse our hands and our mouth we better say a prayer and come clean.

The Fear of Knowing 'Don't you wanna know?' I marvel at how people shy away from knowing the truth. Preferring to stay behind opinionated half-truths and pre-set ideas and

beliefs. It's so hard to get people speaking about what is real. Really real, not just a common understanding but something universally true. Something that is true for both you and me. The fastest most convenient way to disregard that is to say there is no absolute truth. I have my truth and you yours, we hear quite often. But even when there's a recognition of universal standards many opt not to investigate it in depth, leaving it to the professionals to work out the details. Religion and spirituality profess One Truth behind its many manifestations. Science never stop seeking for answers. Why can't we then take it all the way ourselves? We all have a body, mind and heart, and enough intelligence to inquire within through introspection, thought, study and dialogue. Be curious. There's so much to be discovered within your self. Universal truths are hidden within your framework. Secrets waiting to be discovered. Be patient. Take your time, persist. Listen and open to take new things in. Then we'll come to see the truth in the smallest as well as in the largest context.

A Zen Way of Seeing. Seeing things clearly means you don't infer meaning. You don't impose an understanding on top of experience. If the experience is understanding then don't distort it. Say it as it is. There's no need to explain things through your filters of what you already know. No need to fit reality into your own framework. Its stands by itself unaided. Lay no claim on experience as if no one else can see it. Your eyes have now become windows into an unknown land, vast and pure. Because you now see, understanding naturally conform to its new vista. There's no great difficulty distinguishing the real from the unreal. Your eyes also represents your inner seeing, the seeing of who you are before mind lays claim to it. Knowing follows naturally from seeing the truth of it. This is a novel way of seeing things. Always fresh yet always clear. A subtle shift in focus takes away the identification with thought to a greater perspective where 'you' is not interfering with clear perception.

A Joint Effort Coming together, going somewhere and realising a unified perspective takes guts. If separation, division and duality is the norm, the fallacy of this world, then coming together must be its undoing. Personal realisation only means something in relationship. Solo awakening, lone wolf approach only takes you

that far. The reason we want to wake up, the only point of awakening is to dispel ignorance, the false sense of separation and duality. Realising oneness naturally involves other people. All other people. If you can't demonstrate your awakening together with other people what good is it? Of what use is it if you can't spread the love? Waking up does not mean we're content with the status quo. Yes finally we feel at home in our own body and mind but that's not any different from an egoic mind being self-satisfied. What happens when we take it to the other? Can we share our realisation? What does it mean to share. Letting everything be as it is? Or does it mean something more? Can we endeavour to take it further? Can we rock the boat? Is there a case for a joint endeavour? This takes a concerted effort from all involved. A willingness to explore together and to give up our self-centred approach in favour of a communal understanding. Sayings like 'I am the universe' rings hollow if not put into a holistic context, if not demonstrated as a living all-inclusive reality. So Selfrealisation is only the first step of awakening to your true self. Union and oneness with others comes with self-surrender. Taking it further means many will come together with purpose and incentive, wanting to create and realise something that is rarely seen, a togetherness that finds a life of its own, a spirit that moves as the wind, that will put hearts on fire and bring about effortless unity.

Free does not mean free. It's not cheap. It will cost you your life. Self-surrender isn't easy. It never was nor will ever be. It's not easy because you have to give it away. You can't give it away to yourself. As long as you think you can do it by yourself, good luck. It can't happen. Even the Buddha, the famously self-realised world leader, had to sit down at the root of the Bodhi-tree and decidedly commit not to move from the spot even if it meant death unless he reached full absolute enlightenment. He was ready to die to find his answers. That commitment was everything. Ramana Maharshi, the famous self-realised saint of south India, also he decided to accept death as his vehicle to self-surrender. And no one more famous than Jesus himself had to die on the cross to show us the way to God. And even if you accept someone else's death as your own it won't make it any easier. Acceptance has to be total. It takes a lot of soul searching to contemplate the meaning of surrender and realising the costs involved puts many people off. It's the ultimate sacrifice. Why is this important? Because, finally all roads lead to this junction. Sooner or later you'll be faced with this decision. If you believe freedom is free think again.

Creating Space When you open up a field of engagement, a space where others can play within, it's important to keep it pure. The dojo is such a sacred space. It's up to the teacher to keep it transparent. So nothing goes unnoticed. It is a reflection of what goes on in our lives. We should become aware of this transparency as we enter this field. It should both elevate us and reveal our hidden motives. It should grant us access to a greater sense of being as well as to curb our egotism. No one is exempt from this scrutiny, a mirror reflection of who we are. Vaikuntha, the celestial abode of Lord Vishnu, is a pristine realm we enter where the space of the spirit has been brokered in. This is never a given. We must invite and open this room from our own heart. Creating a spiritual space that'll serve as a container and support for the activities that happen within it. It's not a personal space because we all partake equally within it. Yet it is very special. Become aware of it and you'll marvel at its purity. The abode of the gods.

I exist in you as You. When this perception is clear and you can entertain this notion facing another you'll be able to respond naturally and spontaneously in the most accurate manner. Allowing nothing to come between you you'll be able to meet heart to heart. This may put some people off but many will welcome such a show of consideration and care. Sharing this Oneness creates friendships that does not rely on personality. You'll feel closer and even more yourself when faced with such an approach. This seeing has no agenda besides itself. It wants nothing from the other nor offers anything in particular. It’s about identifying yourself as another, not just intellectually but using all your senses to put yourself in their shoes. Taking on their features as being your own, skin blood and bone. As if looking at yourself in a mirror you see every nuance, every wrinkle, not shrinking away from any part. Now if you do this with all people around you you’ll find yourself in a sea of ‘you’s’. It’s quite funny and exciting seeing them all being you. Suddenly your identity is spread far and wide, including all living beings. The light in their eyes is your light. You see through their eyes. Then there is non-difference and you realise you’re nothing special. Everyone share the same make-up, more or less the same conditioning, the human package. You see their fears, their pride, their struggles and their victories as your own. What is this same same quality that runs like a thread through all of us? Love! Identify it as Love. Just underneath the surface of everyone of us there’s this sea of love

ready and available. Love is conscious and intelligent, clear and consistent. In this there’s no duality nor separation. So next time you face another take a deep breath.

Bardo There is, there is not. Positive, negative. Views and convictions. All create proportional emotional experiences. As you view life so it appears to you and so it will respond to you, affirming your view. Your view projects itself outwards and like in a mirror is reflected back in precise detail. And you say ‘See, I was right!’ What does it matter which view is true if the personal doesn't exist? Anything you are holding up will fall within the realm of existence and non-existence. Freedom is not about choosing the positive over the negative. Freedom signifies freedom from belief in separate self-hood. Freedom being all One. Freedom signifies no boundaries, no limits. Freedom means nothing to protect and nothing to justify. Freedom from self. Basing yourself in a fundamental positive attitude towards life will most likely land you in the heavenly realms. As the opposite will probably drag you through hell. If we are to believe the Eastern religions, Heaven is not forever and neither is Hell. So is there a middle way to freedom? Can you give up going to heaven? And renounce hell? Seeing that taking any kind of position will land you in its proportional effect. So therefore recognise your positions and be free from them.

In a matter of seconds. You have to decide, do you want to be free? And why wouldn’t you? No more hiding. The longer you wait to make up your mind the more feeble you become. Indecision is the mother of all depression. You can’t hold out in the twilight zone. Sitting on the fence no one can join you. You have to decide, this side or that side. Then everything falls into place. Scary like hell but once you plant that foot in the field of nothing whatsoever you’ll feel the exhilaration of having left everything behind. It may feel like falling off the edge into the abyss but nothing beats free falling. Once used to it you wouldn’t have it any other way. In a matter of seconds you may enter the land of the living, leaving

your past behind and seeing who your friends are. There’s a deep mystery attached to this notion. Investigate it and understand it. Question it and test it. Actually, there is no other way. As sudden as a knife thrust you cut through your own delusion.

Giving up Pride. Being nobody in this world is scary. We all find pride in who we are. We are very important people. We may not say so and even feign ignorance when questioned about it. But when asked to give up our lives for nothing we fear loosing our identity, our last vestige of who we believe ourselves to be. Pride in thinking being better than others. Fear of being nobody. Imagine having to leave this world as a nobody; having nothing, knowing nothing, where you would be the least, the most insignificant, useless and unknown forgotten person in this world. Pride will desperately cover up this tremendous fear underlying your very existence. Pride will keep us away from true communion, real friendships, and any lasting sense of well-being. This Pride will keep us from surrendering, from owing up to our own complete inability to take responsibility for our own actions. Pride is Ego big time.

Deep Sea Diving In any inquiry we need to go into depth. Dig deep. Stay on topic. Refrain from diluting and side tracking. Leave aside judgement, opinions and preferences. The Buddha pointed very clearly to an end of suffering. Jesus set a pristine example. There are ways and means. Follow directions and don’t water it down, disperse and change the subject. Don’t confuse, mix together, or come up with your own concoction. Follow the line of inquiry to the end. Merely scratching the surface won’t do. Spiritual pursuit is a vertical exploration and descent. Trust there is something to be discovered. Don’t halt early. Don’t stop till you strike gold. Dare to go down the unknown road. Be humble.

Free Conversation What do we mean by free interaction or conversation? What is the intent and purpose of it? Are we just sharing information? Updating each other with

what’s going on. Catching up? Chit chat? Small talk and pleasantries. Have you ever had the feeling of being in a conversation all evening and nothing actually being said? Coming out of it thinking ‘what a complete waste of time’? Instead of this social convention that is an art in itself can we find a way to converse in a deep and meaningful way? Is there a way to open up a dialogue where all present join in? Where the interest and focus is on the subject matter and where all involved care for everyone to engage. Do we have the ability to include everyone in a conversation, in a shared inquiry? To listen, not to opinions and personal agendas but to an open investigation. Take every opportunity to do this because we don’t have all the time in the world. Time is precious and what we do with it is important. Can we build a platform where we meet and converse about real life issues, difficulties we all face at one point or another and where we delve into the deeper meaning of life, the spiritual fundamental truths shared by all of us? Every time we get together is an opportunity to enrich our lives with meaningful and purposeful conversation. There’s a secret waiting to be discovered when two or more come together in a joint exploration. Openness and interest lends itself to an in depth study of our selves. But we have to make it a priority. If not it rarely happens.

When Meditation Matters. Becoming still is a rare event. Just the attempt to stop what you’re doing is difficult enough. We’re often so wound up we find it unnerving to sit still without having something to fix our attention to. So we find ourselves in front of the television, on the mobile or managing all our responsibilities. No rest till we fall asleep. But if you have time, resist the temptation to reach for the next thing and simply go quiet inside. Take a deep breath and relax. Wherever you are, rest your motion. Let your inside be outside and let your outside be your inside. Then there will be no interference. Let the other be you and find yourself in the other. Then there will be no division. Meditation then, is when you have stopped moving away. You remain still. So you find yourself dropping in and becoming more who you are. A deep calm permeates your being and you wonder how you could have forgotten this sense of self. This is when meditation matters.

‘Freedom is a Pathless Land’ ..said the famous Krishnamurti. It’s a beautiful statement that contain a very poignant truth. We can’t plan our way. There’s no structure that will suffice. We can’t rely on the method to take us there. We can prepare, set our house in order, pay our bills and intend to make the journey but once you’re set to leave you must let go. You’re entering the unknown. Maps got you to the gate. Now you’re being asked to leave them behind. It’s like asking the tourist to give up his guidebook. It’s a bit frightening. But once you realise the locals are friendly you throw caution at the wind. Now after many years on the road you’ve lost your homeland. Nowhere to go back to. Seasoned traveler you help other tourists that seem lost.

Touching the Earth. The Buddha gently laid a hand on the ground to acknowledge that the Earth itself was his witness. Who is there to confirm your enlightenment? Who will vouch for you? The about-to-be Buddha would not move. Mara, the Evil One, claimed the seat of enlightenment for himself. Mara's monstrous soldiers cried out together, "I am his witness!" Mara challenged Siddhartha, who will speak for you? Then Siddhartha reached out his right hand to touch the earth, and the earth itself roared, "I bear you witness!" Mara disappeared. And as the morning star rose in the sky, Siddhartha Gautama realised enlightenment and became the Buddha. Indra, the head of the gods, watched from Heaven. Pleased with what he saw he encouraged the fully awakened one to set in motion the Wheel of Dharma, to beat the deathless drum. Who will vouch for you? The whole Earth will open herself to you and bear witness to your own awakening. Earth itself will carry you as if upon a bed. She will reveal herself to be your biggest and only ally. So close and so near. This will be evident. You’ll have no other need for confirmation. Beware of how Mara likes to claim it for himself. The Buddha just laid a hand upon the earth to acknowledge what the Earth was doing. Pointing as it were to the source of his conviction. Once you have the whole Earth as your ally you need no other source to affirm you.

Self Confession To speak your name When you can't wait to hear it Said out aloud Proves the greatest risk. Professing knowledge Of your whereabouts Is like leaving the door ajar For you to return home. Bearing testimony of You Will not hold up in court I'm sentenced long before I have a chance to plead my case. As my only witness You disclose nothing Rendering my defence obsolete. Alas, you will have to serve time with me Since you can't stand Leaving me alone.

Your Real Self and Your True Nature. Close your eyes and remember being five years old. Now imagine being 75. Knowing that you are has not changed over time. The past, present and future does not affect your sense of self. Close your eyes and without using your memory find out if you have a name? Close your eyes and without using your memory tell me your age? Close your eyes and without using your memory please find out whether you’re a boy or a girl? Now if you can’t name it, if you can’t define its age nor its form and gender, you begin to recognise the intrinsic nature of your being. Having no age means timeless and eternal. Having no set form means formless and limitless. Try this now. Ask yourself with your eyes closed so you can’t see yourself, and without using your memory of who you know yourself to be, examine

your present state of knowing. What are the boundaries? Where are the boundaries? Who are you? This will reveal who you are in essence without all the added information of gender, age and name. This is your true self existing within your real nature. Timeless, boundless and free.

Professional Spirituality/Religiosity. All Faith traditions have unbroken lineages from their founding fathers. One more famous than the other. These Dharma schools are fronted by the individual lineage holders; the heirs of the transmission, handed down from teacher to student. All faithfully upholding the original teachings of the founder. Many having thousands of followers. Being groomed within the hierarchy from childhood the individual leaders inherit through the schools good name an unquestioned adoration and veneration. Through the upbringing within the Faith and the thorough education given these protégés they usually are well equipped to carry on the responsibilities of the lineage. Though well versed in spirituality; practices and customs, they may not be as Ego-free as their name suggests. Scandals reek havoc and undermine the respect and trust these institutions are meant to uphold, revealing the humanness of even the most advanced spiritual practitioner. So whether or not we’re part of a traditional spiritual order, religious Faith or just being a privateer seeking spiritual liberation we all fall under the same light revealing who we are.

Coming upon a Common Ground. Is it possible to share a vision? To stand on common ground? Can we fathom a mystery that is beyond rational thinking? Instead of advocating one perspective over another, one opinion versus another, can we endeavour to put our differences aside and join a common cause? If O Sensei spoke of universal truths albeit in a forgotten language of esoteric Buddhism and Shintoism, we still need to make them accessible to the modern Aikidoka. Spiritual truths are living dynamic revelations that we can access through a joint effort. O Sensei’s spiritual path describes many different aspects of a deep spiritual life. We can endeavour to make sense of each one of them as they point to very precise insights that are as relevant to us today as they ever were to those gone before us. It’s time to untangle the confusion around

O Sensei’s spiritual understanding and usher Aikido back unto the common ground we all can meet in. ‘At once step up onto the platform. Above, communication can begin. Below, vain discrimination never ends.’

Whether you like it or not. The past is a part of us. Since the very beginning we have history. We owe it to our ancestors to bring it with us into the future. We stand on their shoulders. All that’s gone before us is what’s makes us us. And even more so, we all go back to where time began. Where space first was created. The explosion of the Big Bang started a giant process, creating an ever expanding space/time continuum with the evolution of life within its parameters. We as conscious beings have been along for the ride ever since. Hard to believe but our spiritual self, the unborn part of ourselves, have seen it all. With this in mind we realise we can’t leave the past behind us. It’s as much part of our fabric of being as the future will become. There’s no getting away from it. Claiming reliance on the here and now saying that the deathless is a timeless ground wont change the fact that we exist within a evolving universe. So to make sense out of our present experience and to know where to go in the future we need to understand our past. This means to take all the knowledge with us while transforming it into new insights and fresh discoveries suited for our present age. Like all sciences already are doing. Our spiritual history and story needs updating to keep up with the times yet without loosing the thread that runs through it since day one. In Aikido, to do O Sensei justice, we need to be able to translate his insights and his vision into a understandable language that the modern Aikidoka can grasp through training and contemplation. We need the masters of the art to define the sources and the ways to get there by clear and concise means. We need to be able to cross reference the material to fit it into a holistic context. No more guess work or personal interpretation. Only then will we be able to bring the past with us into the future. Some say leave the past behind as if it’s served its purpose and is no more needed. Maybe so but then we’d loose our connection to the very source from where we came. Thank God we have plenty enough people to do this massive work, each focusing on their area of interest. Together we will have a bright future, enlightened with all the accumulated wisdom of days gone by and with that in hand forge a new future ahead.

Moonshine My own home-brew is not to everyone’s taste. Illegal with no brand to its name it’s peddled to the near and dear. Some say it’s too weak, some too strong. Whatever is at hand goes into it. Distilled from various sources it doesn’t quite taste like anything else. Potent? Possibly if you drink enough. Shamelessly getting drunk on the stuff I’m hardly the one to ask for objective advice. Intoxicated by the spirits I offer my rants to anyone willing to listen. Bar brawls aside I try to keep a straight face when questioned.

In the Beginning was the Word. The renowned Krishnamurti would lead his audience and his readers through an investigation into the truth of the matter. As long as one would have the patience and interest to follow it to the end, one was rewarded with insight and profound clarity. Krishnamurti’s ability to take any aspect of life and transform it into a living realised understanding there and then was amazing. He demonstrated the power of revealed understanding, of awakened intelligence through the discourse of words and language. Seeing the Truth is one thing, accepting the simple truth of being here and now, but to deeply grasp its meaning through enlightening your mind, through deep understanding, is altogether an added dimension of spiritual wisdom. To grasp with your intellect, a revealed understanding of the living Truth through discourse really ends all doubt and confusion about the absolute nature of reality. It is the key to fully comprehend and the key to fully be able to communicate something more than just a vision or experience. We can’t take it for granted nor can we dismiss it. It has to be found through a keen interest in wanting to know, wanting to understand on a deeper level. To grasp the spiritual meaning behind all things. This we do not do through silent meditation, nor through momentary insight, but through listening to the word, reading the word, and through guided discourse. So don’t be misguided in your spiritual pursuit. Endeavour to understand your experience. This is nothing but the highest aim. Don’t be fooled into believing understanding is lesser and words are superfluous. On the contrary, they will liberate you.

Spirit World What does that mean? For me it’s when the natural world reveals it subtler levels. All things takes on an added dimension. Nothing is out of this world, it’s all part and parcel of the same creation. When you no longer see yourself as separate but as an infinite part of all there is, this world takes on a floating quality, an evanescent feeling of containing more than what meets the eye. Hard things becomes soft and straight things curve. Like floating on the surface, sometimes underneath sometimes above. No need to make sense out of everything, you still can tell right from wrong. It’s also a recognition of the deeper part of yourself. A sense of being that transcends a fixed notion of who you are. All your thoughts, emotions and feelings flow into one, like if they’re part of a bigger river-system. They join other tributaries and all things flow into one.

Invested in being spiritual. Spiritual pride is not a subtle thing. It’s quite evident to all normal people. It’s a pity as it casts a shadow on spiritual accomplishment let alone on the whole question of whether or not Spirit exists at all. It’s such a challenging subject for people on the spiritual path. Many are so invested in their pursuit and they’ve left much behind that it’s quite daunting not to have anything to rely on. The crazy thing with a genuine spiritual life is that we got nothing to show for. We earn no brownie points nor gain any credit for dabbling in the spiritual dimension of life. Some disregard this pride and view it instead as something they know. With a superior attitude they’re able to impress some with their accrued knowledge. Even some enlightened awakened individuals display this arrogance. It’s a downfall and it always points away from surrender. These people will not acknowledge the importance of Ego death, of surrendering your life to something greater than yourself. Their motto is ‘experience more, realise more’, and gain more. This puts spiritual life on par with any other worldly accomplishment. Achieve and succeed. When in reality for spiritual life to succeed there’s a need for surrender. To give up everything you know, have and believe you are. Only then can we meet eye to eye as equals, as one being, whether awakened or not. Then enlightenment will shine of its own accord and we’ll stand together in its brilliance.

Wait for it. Don’t rush. Don’t go on autopilot. Speak sincere words. Wait till you find them. Heartfelt and genuine they break the mould. It’s a rigorous discipline. Difficult to maintain. Try it with a friend. Once you get the hang of it, a wonderful conversation can ensue. Meaning-filled and mature. Refrain from small talk and chit chat, gossip and slander. Hold your tongue. Count to ten. It’s a thin line, a razors edge but you can sense it. Feel it inside. Stop responding in the same way as always. Hold back your habitual way of replying. Find a new way. Let the best part of you come out. Surprise us. It’s a spiritual practice. Look within and find the deepest part of who you are. Let your words issue directly from the source without pre-thought. Suspend your mind and speak from your heart. Why waste time with useless chatter? Why clutter up your mind with nonsense? It’s a dual exercise, listen to your friend and respond to him or her in an exact manner. Tune in and focus on the other so your words corresponds to the situation at hand. Be present. Be vulnerable yet solid. Soft yet strong.

Freedom has no history. When we wake up our personal history is erased and we’re left with no memory. Time spent identified as a separate self-identity distorts all experience and accumulates a made-up storyline called our past. Upon the revelation of the non-existence of a separate self, our Ego sense of self falls away together with its whole accumulated history. It is as if suddenly nothing has ever happened. Everything you’ve ever experienced is wiped away till the beginning of time in an instant. It’s a shock to see this. The ground disappears underneath you. Everything you’ve believed to be true is exposed as unreal and in fact revealed never to have existed in the first place. It’s freedom from the known. Can you now live in this pathless land? Time is ticking and life never stops. Standing like in a river in this never ending flow nothing sticks. Time passes but you don’t move. Some call it detachment but it’s not that. It is freedom from belief in a separate identity. Free from.

No Time We often believe things has to take time. So we allocate enough of it to cover the subject matter. This happens also when we cover spiritual topics. We

think we need time to reach a certain understanding or a certain insight or experience. We believe we need more time on the meditation cushion and in the yoga room. This creates a dissonance with the nature of Spirit. If the nature of God is ever present and all pervasive there is no time needed to realise it. Believing we need time pushes the truth away from us. We postpone our own enlightenment. When we come together with others we can’t wait for something to happen. We need to realise that the immediacy of awakening happens right here and now. No excuses valid. Yet when we accept this fact we still need to clarify it and verify it amongst us. Then the science of ignorance is revealed. How we endlessly keep the living Truth away from us, especially in communion. We don’t dare to be nobody in a group. Either we need to lead or to follow, knowing who we are. It doesn’t have to take time. We can sort this in matter of seconds. Opening your eyes don’t take long. You better believe it. See you soon. ‘Masakatsu Agatsu Katsu Hayabi’ correct-victory I-am-victorious-victory-rapid-sun. M. Ueshiba

Break on through.. Velocity is a trademark feature of the enlightened ones. Meeting them it’s like being drawn into a vortex. At first feeling the pull gently just as a river that closes in on a waterfall, and then when it’s too late to turn back, when the water accelerates and concentrates just before the edge just to plunge headfirst into the abyss freed from the accumulated pressure. Cascading over the top, the water now in free fall, breaking up, disintegrating, fragmenting into droplets suspended in midair. The sunlight reflecting you in every one of them.

Tat Tvam Asi ‘You are That’. Absolute Non-differentiated Reality. Often pointed at with the question ‘Who am I?’. An existential and fundamental question for all spiritual seekers. Maybe most famously brought to us by the renowned sage and selfrealised man of Southern India Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi. This is an

unsullied state of who we are in our pristine original Self. This is who we are, have been, and will always be. Eternal and timeless at the same time. Beyond this world of thoughts and emotions of the individual exists a purity of being that is not too difficult to realise. Many have done so both in the East and in the West. It shows us who we really are, prior to any other thing. Some sadly takes this to mean that nothing else but That exists. While that is true they haven’t looked closely nor discovered the propensities of this Real Self. That its Nature is Love and that this love is its manifestation in time and space ie. this very universe. They haven’t discovered the working of the Real Self in communion with others as non-separate, they haven’t learned that ‘Form is Emptiness and emptiness is form’ to quote from the famous Buddhist scripture. Some use their own realisation in an ‘Advaita-shuffle’ kind of way to verify and justify their own limited understanding of a real selfless expression of the Absolute. How hard pressed they will be to leave their fixed notion of who they are and join a fearless communion with all others, understanding all sides to the equation where there never can be any separation nor division. When O Sensei says ‘I am the Universe’ he does speak of himself yet that very statement include all others as well. Whether that is seen as ‘No one but me exists’ or ‘I am every other person’, decides how you will engage and relate to the world. Once you realise that the Nature of your realisation is Love, that the expression of the Absolute is Love, you’ll suddenly find yourself right back in the centre of life together with all others, with their burdens and sufferings, with their joys and their happiness. Now, Tat Twam Asi takes on a whole new meaning. You are That. And that is what O Sensei left us with. Care, compassion and love. The Bu of Love.

In the Realm of Ghosts. She said after a moments reflection, ‘He is in a ghost realm’. Referring to O Sensei, our newfound friend, an ageless Japanese lady that we’d met in Kathmandu, a spiritual guide in her own right, were answering our question if she ‘knew’ Morihei Ueshiba. When we met I had been immediately attracted to her as if I’d known her from long ago. She noticed my affection but more or less ignored it till we had dinner when she said without any undue attention, that she’d been my mother in a past life. I instantly knew this to be true. It wasn’t something I usually would subscribe to nor entertain in my spiritual quest as I’d scrutinise every find with objective logic. This was way past my normal understanding so I took it all with a grain of salt, yet storing it in my memory for future reference.

Thinking again of the Shugyo O Sensei managed to accrue over his lifetime and in the way it creates a field of spirit substance (for lack of a better description) that became his seat, his platform for his existence. Now I’m speculating as I have no clue to what all this means or if it has any bearing on any level of experience. Maybe you have some thoughts about it?

When my father came back home. My father died unexpectedly in early 1995. I lit some candles to drive out the cold, February in Sweden, in the morgue. I spoke words of fare well, ‘don't worry about us, we're ok’. Please forgive me. I love you dad. Be on your way. At home with mum, snowfall in the street lights. I tell her, ‘he is here!’ She looks up and nods, that is what we feel, inside filling up, grief is but loves release. A year to the date he returns. I’m in India doing a retreat with my teacher and guru. I wake up at night within a dream. Me and mum sitting at the table in our house when suddenly he walks by outside. I think, what is this? He can’t be can he? I quickly step outside and call his name, he turn to me and smiles. I grab his shoulders to make sure it’s real. We hug and it’s the most wonderful embrace ever. So soft, so genuine. He is whole, perfectly himself without the slightest flaw. I hold him by the arm and say he’s got to come inside to explain to mum. He smiles and I wake up. I know now there’s a thin line between us and them. I have no more fears. Only love.

Faith and belief Doesn’t come by itself. It takes hard work to even accrue a little bit. And a little bit won’t do you any good at all. Even your smallest doubts will easily scatter your faith. No you have to work at it. Study and be sincere and serious about it. It’s true, there is such a thing as unshakeable Faith. And it’s not empty nor blind. Belief stems from a deep knowing of something so absolute, so pure of a source that your own doubts can’t touch nor reach it. Your own mind will not be able to own it. You’ll come upon another faculty that bypasses the minds attempts to grasp and to own. Once you can reside in this new relationship you’ll have free access to a storage room full of gold. Infinite in scope and vast beyond understanding. Love is the cleansing agent that keeps the passage open. Invest everything you’ve got. Don’t wait. The

sooner the better and the more interest you accrue the more you give. Faith is not blind. It’s a fire that burns inside your heart where you can offer all your concerns and heartaches. Yet it’s not a mute fire, it will communicate with you, it will back you up, strengthen you and endow you with wisdom.

A ‘real’ fight In Bangkok two big Israelis got into an argument with a young Thai in a snooker club. They threw their weight around and confidently sized the smaller man up. In the West we’re prone to think that a challenge or a fight is not a life and death matter, especially when the odds are on our side. But in many countries in Asia any insult is taken in the most serious manner. Face is at stake and to defend oneself is a matter of pride. While in the West some believe in fair play the truth is that in a fight there are no rules. It doesn’t matter if you’re bigger, better or stronger. Now the young Thai man left the club and all others quickly tried to make the Israelis leave too. They said, you better leave because he has gone to get his gun and if you’re here when he comes back you’re dead. This was a wake up call for me. It doesn’t matter if you’re a martial art expert. Power will be overcome by more power. You can never win. You can never fake a real situation, you can’t test for the real thing. And the real thing doesn’t care about rules or an even playing field. War has no winners, only dead ‘heroes’.

Falling out of Favour There is a secret to spiritual life that is a deal breaker. If you haven’t seen it yet then you’ll go on making distinctions. I like this and I don’t like that. Somebody did me wrong, somebody did me good. Whatever it is, there is a measure out there. When you’ve reached your fill it’s enough. Controlling and handling your experience within set parameters. Woe to the one stepping on your toes. I call it pride. I’m offended and choose to move on. Forgiveness doesn’t come into it. This is the world. This is how most everyone functions. So how does spirit change things? When something is unforgivable it’s not because you can’t forgive. It’s because it’s already been forgiven, prior to the offence. When we come upon this deal we marvel at how love exists despite your attempts of bottling it up. We only enact what is already in place. We love because love is already there. We forgive, not because we should or think we have to, but because it’s already forgiven. When we come upon this

we can’t leave and we can’t have it our own way. How we’d like to make our rulings final. But if you claim you’re ruled by spirit then you have no say in the matter. There’s only one truth. And forgiveness and love is at its heart.

Ignoring it. ‘Don’t mention the war’, is a very funny English expression. Leaving things unsaid and neglecting resolving issues brings about a stalemate, frozen relations and separation. Sweeping it under the carpet, ignoring it or sticking your head in the sand all comes to the same. Keeping up appearances, pretending everything’s fine will ensure that the split will happen. There’s no coincidence that the root problem of suffering according to the Buddhadharma is ignorance (read; ignore-ance). Suffering, or Dukkha, literally meaning unsatisfactoriness, points to the illusory division between self and other, ie belief in self. He called it the conceit of ‘I’. Ignorance therefore is the active ignoring of Truth. Neglecting to see the full picture. If we want to live a spirit-full life we can’t have it our way. We will have to deal with daily concerns. Not in the forgive and forget kind of way, but in a very serious manner where we care to heal any rift. Not simply because you feel bad about it but because the truth demands it. When you realise that the mirror has to be spotless then you’ll polish it daily. Never leaving a stone unturned nor leaving a misunderstanding brewing. Jesus said it best; ‘leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.’ Why is this such an important injunction? Because it is the nature of Truth itself. Gods nature, his spirit, is forgiveness and love. We can’t but conform to it.

O Sensei’s Vision Coming together with others to bring about a shared conscious unitary experience demands that we let go of what we already know. It has to be new every time. Even if we believe we personally have a grasp on our own experience there must be a willingness to ‘not to know’. Leaving room for a shared experience to reveal itself among many. Opinions will not help the situation. Stay open and fresh with a beginners mind and pay attention to the other. This can be achieved in dialogue but also in Aikido. This is different from one person exerting their influence over the other, whether that be on or beside the mat. I believe that an exceptional aikidoka can, like O Sensei,

command the engagement as if throwing a net around the other and move the whole situation as one unit. This is very impressive and joyful to do and to receive. The next step would be to awaken uke to the same kind of relationship. So there would be equal participation and awareness of the engagement. Then co-jointly a beautiful dance could ensue, flowing freely back and forth. Yet without falling back into duality and a competitive mindset. Being more interested in the un-obstructive nature of Oneness. Now this would be a shared event where no one is above or below. Mutual awareness of an impersonal experience that we all equally partake in.

In Favour of Freedom Choices choices everywhere choices. Upon what do you base your decisions? What is more important to you? Your own welfare, your own ego needs? Or the greater good, that which serves a larger cause? Big or small, for your own sake or for others sake, it all amount to the life you lead now. When you meet the Truth you will have to question everything you thought you knew. You will have to revalue everything you hold dear. Suddenly you’ll face the biggest decision in your life and your past will not help you make up your mind. Freedom is an unknown land, far beyond your imagination. Is there a pull towards that? Is there a yearning in your being that would be willing to consider giving up everything? Would you risk everything in favour of freedom? The unknown in favour of the known? Be willing to give up your past, present and future? Realising you can’t take anyone with you leaves you very scared. Then you’d know it’s for real and it’s an ultimate choice. Whether you hold off or not, whether you wait till later or not it won’t alter its uncompromising and stark nature. Do you want to be free more than anything else?

Weighing things up. If one would be interested in a spiritual perspective then that would imply you’d have to abandon your own private view. Or at least suspend it while you engage in an impersonal inquiry into the nature of awareness itself. What is it that ‘sees’? If your main thing is to get your point of view across, to share your perspective and then listen to others, that’s fine and normal but it is different from sharing an impersonal experience that cannot be owned by anyone in particular. To share a spiritual perspective really have nothing in

common with what we ordinarily mean with good communication skills, ie. good listening and speaking in turn, yet it includes that. It’s not really about democratically giving each their allotted time, yet it includes that. It’s about suspending your own self referencing. It’s about loosing yourself in the whole. Giving yourself fully over to the flow and participation of the dialogue. Not understanding is not a hindrance. Inquiry and interest is at the heart of it. Wanting to understand the key to unlock the secrets of a non-dual relationship. Sitting back is not an option. Taking over is not an option. These are the egos ways to stay in control. Fully there, interested, and keen to find out we lean in and participate with the intent to leave ourselves behind. To extract ourselves from our self-imposed prison of ‘I’, ‘me’ and ‘mine’. Weighing things up we come to realise that we’ve got to leave ourselves behind. Let our own fears disappear. Free to engage and free to discover who you really are. A dynamic shifting reality that thrives on participation, that wants something bigger to occur. A impulse to give birth to something new, to be part of a new creation. Something so bigger and better than our lone self can ever aspire to. Weighing things up we don’t have much of a choice do we?

True Confidence So many are not happy with their own body and appearance. We see it everywhere how people try to cover it up, heal it, fix it, change it, deal with it. Body focus is big business. Everything from fashion, make-up, surgery, fitness and diet fads to therapy and spiritual healing. Of course a balanced lifestyle is great. A healthy diet, regular exercise and good company is the solution for many. Yet many suffer silently from their own lack of self confidence. Their self image and poor self esteem is at rock bottom. Always comparing oneself with the outer world, with others one finds fault upon fault, seemingly never able to live up to ones ideals. Caught in a vicious circle that can never end. Some believe that a spiritual path will help them overcome their fears. Escaping the self they hate. Becoming someone else. But even when finding some release and intimating something greater than oneself ones old self and body remains. People take to all kinds of paths to escape their sense of insufficiency. In men, there’s the big Ego pride identity that serves to build a functioning self. While women tend to forge their selves in appearance and looks. Of course I’m stereotyping and things do overlap and mix yet there are general issues specific to gender, not to mention culture differences etc. But building confidence in what we are and in what we know only takes you that

far. If there is no fundamental acceptance of your self, just as you are without any of your accrued attributes then that confidence is not really true. How then do we find confidence in who we are without attributes? Seeking must come from within, from joy and not out of fear. True confidence is devoid of pride, devoid of arrogance. Confidence stem from love. You can define love in bigger or smaller terms yet it will work either way.

Nihon - in the land of the rising sun. As being the land furthest to the east we always thought Japan was where the sun rises first over the horizon. (Funny that, named the ‘Far East’ Japan is really west in relation to America, called the ‘Wild West’). Anyway the point is that ‘Nihon’, the Japanese name for Japan means the ‘origin of the sun’, ie. from where the sun comes. And in Japan’s case it rises out of the sea. Imagine now dawn, before sunrise, darkness over the waters, slowly the sky is lit up by the early light. Then the sun breaks the surface in all its glory. What a creation story! This is the outer symbol of an inner truth. It’s a description of how Man awakens to himself, of how we come to be. 1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. 3 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. (Genesis 1). In Japanese mythology Amaterasu descends to earth as the sun goddess, the bringer of light. In Hindu mythology Shakti, the female principle, is the emanation of Shiva. She is the fire of creation, that which gives life to all things. Shiva, the absolute principle beyond creation, is that prior existence before dawn, where darkness before daybreak rules. This is where all things originate from. Beyond the horizon, ever unseen yet it is there. Just as you awake from deep sleep in the morning. Awakening to your conscious being, just as Brahma awoke on a lotus stemming from the naval of Vishnu sleeping on the Ocean bed. Now I Am that sleeping Vishnu before the dawning of mankind.

The Basic of Basics In Iwama we did pride ourselves of learning the basics of Aikido as the founder taught it via Saito Sensei. We thought we received the inner secrets to the outer flow that O Sensei exhibited. Kihon Waza, or basic techniques would build the foundation of our Aiki body. A solid and firm yet supple body. The training was vigorous and dynamic. Hard and tough it was meant to forge our selves. We followed the structure of teaching with the uke nage relationship and the only ‘testing’ applied was holding harder and resisting. We learned about Kokyu extension and centred awareness. We were meant to learn from ceaseless training, through osmosis. There were not much explanation of the inner workings of Aiki and no talk about the spiritual significance of our practice. It was more a boot camp for young wannabes where camaraderie and good cheer was the rule of the day for the uchi-deshi. We did look sideways to other arts to see if we could cherry pick their strong points. Some of us did dabble in one or two other disciplines which would serve to inform our Iwama practice. Meeting Dan Harden has thrown a new light on basics. Or rather on the basic of basics as he address the inner connection you have to establish within yourself. The Heaven Earth Man module made clear and emphasised. Many more insights into the internal power system explained and demonstrated. It opens up a whole new dimension of what Aikido can contain. Yet not everything is lost. Everything that came before is valid but even more so if informed by the internal alignment and principles. For me this is a journey inwards, to the very foundation of body/mind coordination. There is another, equally important direction, and that is towards the ethical and spiritual domain of our training. That may very well be called the context or the innermost secret to our art that O Sensei outlines in his substituting the Ai in Aikido to the kanji character of Love (also pronounced Ai). But that is a different post.

Aikido must be Beautiful. Otherwise it’s not Aikido! my first teacher Tomita Sensei told me when I was a kid. Beauty in this regard means that we need to have good posture and precise movement. Body structure and execution must be clean and smooth. Our handling of our opponent must be filled with care and measured in regards to proper balance and distance. Force metered out proportionally to match the attacker. Our gi clean and face washed. Your heart must be pure and your motivation unselfish. To be beautiful you can’t hesitate, you can’t

stall. You can’t hate and you can’t lie. Aikido is a vehicle for the spirit, that’s why it must be beautiful. You can’t be a brute and do Aikido. That’s why Aikido is Misogi, purification of your soul. Real Aikido is beautiful, sensitive and effective. Do Aikido with a smile and with love in your heart and your Aikido will become beautiful and God will love you for it.

If you Trust You can let go. You’ll have no fear. We spoke about freedom with this young Christian friend and about the saying of Jesus, “I am the way and the truth and the life.” It’s a beautiful statement of truth and if you trust Jesus to be that then you can readily let him go without fear of loosing him. We spoke about if we don’t have the trust in him we would not dare to surrender him. If you’re holding on to an image, your idea of him and your whole identification with being ‘a Christian’ then you would not dare to let go in order to find out anew. But if you really trust Jesus to be the Truth then there would be no fear of letting him go in order to find the truth anew, to once again venture into unknown lands to seek the truth. Knowing that when we’d find the truth he’ll be right there waiting for us yet again. ‘See, I make all things new’ he says and gives us confidence to dare to leave everything behind. It gives us freedom to be curious, to be humble and it allows us to learn more about him. The freedom the trust bestows is unbelievable. He returns to you your life because he trusts you. Isn’t this his glory?

Nothing happens in isolation. Life only occurs in relationship. Whether that would mean with you and your spouse or with you and nature or in a myriad other ways. The generative quality of association is what fires the engine. No one is an island. Even being alone you’re never without a relationship. You and your body, you and your mind, you and your spirit, you and God. Realising this fundamental connection will help clarify how to live a sane life. It’s not that we’re needy when we miss someone or something. It’s the natural longing for the other half of the relationship. It works on all levels and with all things, human and non-human, inside or outside. Yin needs Yang as much as Yang needs Yin. The two parts to the whole. In every instance we can locate and find this ‘other’ in our experience. I find My Self in relationship. From the gross to the minute, from the worldly to the spiritual, from me to you.

When I miss, I only miss You. When I long, I only long for You. When I fear, I only fear God. When I love, I only love God.