KINKS KINKS and in a healthy way?

There’s been a lot of debate on social platforms like Twitter regarding the boundaries of what’s considered healthy and acceptable when it comes to our innermost kinks and fantasies. Specifically, we’ve seen discussions regarding controversial themes like incest fantasies and other explicit content on websites like AO3, a hub for fan fiction and erotic literature. AO3, in particular, hosts a variety of explicit content from many genres, including themes that may provoke discomfort or revulsion, like bestiality or incest. It is also a unique site in that it has extensive tagging and searchability features, making it all the easier and more accessible for users to find anything that might suit their fantasies.

This is where a lot of people have mixed feelings and raise questions about whether indulging in such literary fantasies is indicative of harmful desires or behaviors in the real world. If something is considered wrong in the real world, you should never think, fantasize, or enjoy reading smutty porn about it, right? An intriguing post I read on Twitter recently regarding the HBO show House of the Dragon, which has featured many cases of incestual relations, challenged the notion of incest fantasies with “You only think it’s hot because the people are hot.” Additionally, that it’s not the incest itself that is a turn-on to viewers, but rather “It’s the people,” referring to how the show casts attractive actors to perform its incestual sex scenes.

Isittru ASY ASY ASY isheavilyinfluenced byit’s portraya y and context? and context?

When assessing the healthiness of your media consumption of fantasies and kinks, the focus should shift toward your engagement with them and their impact on your real-world behavior. If indulging in a particular fantasy extends beyond the fantasy realm into thinking or acting inappropriately, it likely becomes an avenue you should no longer explore. However, if your fantasies remain safely within the realm of imagination and do not manifest as harmful desires, then they are precisely that. They are fantasies. They are kinks. And that is totally okay!

This idea raises a broader question: is it not true that our attraction to any fantasy is heavily influenced by its portrayal, aesthetics, and context? If a show is portraying people having sex in a way that is intended to be horrifying rather than arousing, then most likely, they would make casting selections and choices regarding lighting, angle, pacing, etc., that would evoke disgust and the feelings they intend to portray.

A key point to remember is that the nature of your fantasies and kinks, whether taboo or unconventional, does not inherently make them healthy or unhealthy. There have been numerous studies demonstrating that indulging in edgier, more taboo fantasies doesn’t actually translate into performing the behaviors in real life. People reading bestiality porn don’t actually fuck animals. People who love reading incest porn aren’t fucking their relatives, etc. In short, those who enjoy reading the content aren’t necessarily practicing or condoning it outside the realm of pure fantasy.

Taboo fantasies and kinks are like a thrilling roller coaster ride: they explore the scary and forbidden elements of your sexuality, even the shameful ones, within a safe and controlled space. It allows you to confront these aspects of your sexuality, understand them, and even derive pleasure from them. As long as your fantasy and kink explorations do not result in harm to yourself or others, there is nothing necessarily unhealthy about it. Your fantasies and kinks can be considered a safe and healthy expression of your sexual self. Should you ever find that your relationship with your fantasies and kinks becomes harmful, either to you or others, it is highly advisable to seek support and guidance from a sex-positive therapist. Sex-positive therapists are different from regular mainstream therapists in how they are equipped to help you navigate complex sexual dynamics in a non-judgemental and supportive manner.