HEALTHY

Remember, the healthiness of your media consumption, fantasies, and kinks is not determined solely by their content.

What it really boils down to is how they translate into your real life. How do they intersect with your real-world behaviors? Does engaging with them in a fantasy realm make it harder to do other things, or do you want to pursue them in real life?

If so, and if it brings harm to yourself and others, then that is when it becomes a problem and is unhealthy. While our minds may harbor contradictory desires, this doesn’t make us bad people. Our brains are complex, albeit sometimes chaotic and messy, and our fantasies can be complex too and may not always align with our real-life values. That’s okay!

For us, living an alternative lifestyle really translates into living an authentic lifestyle. Allowing one another to have the space to love, explore and grow into whatever feels right for us.

HOWLONGHAVEYOUBEENLIVINGANALTLIFE? WHATATTRACTEDYOUTOIT?

We have been in the lifestyle for almost 6 years! Monogamy or “normal” relationship dynamics never really made sense to us, so I think we both really appreciated what the lifestyle had to offer.

HOWWOULDDOYOUDEFINEYOURALTLIFE?

We Just Are Who We Are We Just Are Who We Are Are Who We Are

We consider ourselves physically open, emotionally closed in the sense that we love to share physical experiences together but don’t consider ourselves open to adding another emotional element or person to our dynamic. However, the friendships and connections we’ve made are life changing and we love our community like family.

WHATISYOURSEXUALORIENTATION? HASTHIS CHANGEDFOREITHEROFYOUSINCEADULTHOOD?

WHATWASTHATCHANGELIKE?

I guess we’re both bi/pan. We aren’t attracted to any particular gender, it’s really a person’s vibe for us, or a connection. For her, she always knew she was fluid sexually. For him, it wasn’t until his early 30s that he had the space to fully embrace his sexuality and what he was into. I think him coming out in our marriage was slightly difficult for her at first- just because it sparked insecurities but truthfully, we have grown much stronger in our sexualities together and it’s only had a positive outcome overall.

We don’t feel like we live two separate lives- we don’thavevanillafriends,allofourfriendsareinthe lifestyle, our jobs are in the lifestyle, our families both know, and for acquaintances we’ll openly discuss if conversations come up but usually that never happens. I’d say at first we struggled, some family members don’t support us and that was difficult; but I truly feel like now we’re so secure in whowearethatoutsideopinionsdon’tmattertous.

I’dsayifanything,we’refacedwithbeinganopenly bi couple in the lifestyle and some people simply aren’tcomfortablewiththat.

Whatisonelessonyouhavelearnedony

Over Over Over Communic Communic

Never assume your partner knows what you want or how you’re feeling. Express everything to them so there’s no second guessing how the other is feeling.

WHATISYOURBIGGESTTURNON?

WHAT'SYOURGUILTYPLEASURE?

Make us laugh and be super down

Make us laugh super to earth… you’re winning. to earth… you’re winning.

Make us laugh and be super down

We indulge in life a lot- from eating out too much to watching trashy television

For us personally, this lifestyle has changed the way we view life forever. It’s not always an easy ride but truly loving your person and being here for the right reasons can bring you so much joy in so many different ways We can’t imagine living any differently than we do now