EMOTIONAL CONCERNS [IN POLYAMORY]

It is important to distinguish troubled individuals, couples, or group dynamics from troublesome passages in predominantly healthy polyamorous relationships. Some typical emotional “sticking points” encountered by clients on the journey toward polyamory are: Making the decision about whether to move forward at all in exploring polyamory and, if so, determining which form is best suited to one’s needs.

Developing boundaries. All healthy relationships require good skills in drawing, communicating, and maintaining one’s own boundaries as well as respecting those of others. Polyamorous relationships are no exception.

Learning the ropes. Expect that moving from the exclusive relationship model to an open one takes time and involves growing pains. Mistakes will be made. These can either derail the process or offer important lessons.

Adhering to a “no surprises” policy. Sensible caution and a well-developed sense of timing are required so as to avoid skipping necessary steps in introducing new relationships or adjusting to changes within ongoing relationships. It is impossible to overemphasize the importance of thinking ahead and communicating thoroughly so that no one feels surprised by “out of the blue” developments. Within reason, avoid initiating change faster than the slowest person in the group can accommodate.