hindusta n t i m es , n ew d e l h i Wednesday, J un e 0 8 , 2 0 1 6
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botton is the authority on love
me and my city through the lens
International bestselling author Alain de Botton talks about his latest novel, The Course of Love, and, of course, doles out tips mind, insecurities and also get philosophical nuggets from you.
Medha Shri Dahiya
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celebrated writer and award-winning TV presenter, Alain de Botton is often called a modern-day philosopher for his numerous essays and outlook on life. He was in his early twenties when his debut, Essays in Love, became an instant hit. Now, nearly 23 years later, Botton revisits fiction with The Course of Love — a story of what happens once the honeymoon period is over and the banal everyday realities take a toll on marriage. Excerpts from an interview:
Writing on the wall
A glimpse of the vibrant street art in the city depicting the need to fight violence. photo: AMAL KS/HT
culture capsule
see
Sir Iqbal This play portrays a bewildering persona of the poet who wrote Saare Jahan Se Achcha Hindostan Humaara. While few consider him as the progenitor of the idea of Pakistan, others observe him as a philosopher, a spirited scholar and a silent statesman. WHERE: Shri Ram Centre, Mandi House WHEN: June 9; TIMINGS: 7pm
Jaagte Raho! The Clown In Us
You were only 23 when you wrote Essays in Love. Where did you get the wisdom to write about the process of falling in and out of love in such detail and a universally relatable manner? Has your understanding of love changed since? My first research subject is always myself. If one tries to be as honest with oneself as one can be, one will be able to understand others too. My understanding of love has changed. I’d say I still have very high expectations of relationships, but I’m more aware of the work and tools that are needed in order to deliver on those expectations.
The narrative technique is very interesting. While the protagonist couple is under a scanner, readers get to understand their state of
This play is an exploration of the idea of ‘waking life’ through jazz, contemporary dance, clowning, film and live music. Directed by Swati Mohan, its performers include kids, adults, professionals and amateurs, who share a common passion for arts. WHERE: Epicentre, Sector 44, Gurgaon WHEN: June 11 and 12 TIMINGS: 8pm
I tried to write a novel that would combine action with reflection. So every few paragraphs, the action stops, and we hear commentary on the characters. My novel is not for people who want thrilling action; it’s for people who love to pause and analyse relationships closely — almost my favourite occupation!
Do people ask you for tips for a happy marriage or on love, even when they meet you randomly, say at a party? Absolutely. And I don’t complain, though very often my advice is quite dark. I love the philosopher Seneca’s advice: ‘What need is there to weep over parts of life? The whole of it calls for tears.’
In the times of instant-coffee and ‘swipe for relationship’ era, what is it that people lack to a successful course of love? Is marriage still popular? What we are really lacking is a sense that love is ultimately a skill, not just an enthusiasm... a skill that has to be learnt and patiently practiced. We should award medals to those who have learnt the art - and admire them no less than we admire great athletes. Marriage will always be popular because it promises us an end to emotional turbulence.
What can a couple to do stay relevant to each other when married? Realise that marriage is not ownership, that the possibility of divorce is real and that one doesn’t ‘own’ the other person. Furthermore, it can be useful to remember that the other person is deeply vulnerable, has surrendered themselves to us, and that we have a big responsibility to them, and they to us.
We should award medals to those who’ve learnt the art of love, and admire them no less than great athletes
Campus chic
What’s next? My next book will be about emotional education; another year and I will be done.
Alain de Botton, author
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medha.dahiya@hindustantimes.com
Telly divas strut the ramp PHOTOS: YOGEN SHAH
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Eshna Kutty of Lady Shri Ram College for Women likes light hues for summer PHOTO: PRABHAS ROY/HT
A Phroyia Pfuzi from Miranda House says style is all about confidence PHOTO: SHIVAM SAXENA/HT
dil se My Chi (Ruchi), In the flower my rose is you. In the diamond my kohinoor is you. In the sky my moon is you. I’m only body my heart is you. That’s why I always miss you. —Urs SK (Pagal) Dear Samir, Thank you to come in my life. Tum hi woh angel ho jisne mujhe par diye udne ke liye. Jisne meri sari wishes ko pura kiya. I love you too much darling. —Your Khushi My Mumma and Papa , Happy 25th anniversary, mumma and papa. Aap dono
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bht ache ho. Apke bina m kuj b ni hu. Aj jo b hu apki vjh se hi hu. Love u bht sara. —Medha
elebs from the television fraternity recently gathered for a fashion show. Actor Simple Kaul set the ramp ablaze as she looked gorgeous in a peach gown. While singer Mika Singh belted his hit songs like Subha Hone Na De, Jumme Ki Raat and Aaj Ki Party etc, actor Daisy Shah scorched the ramp in an intricatelydesigned anarkali that spelled elegance. Actors Madhurima Tuli, Kartik Aryan and Sandeepa Dhar also walked the ramp.
Madhurima Tuli
HTC
Dear Stupid, May Allah b with u at evry step u take; may Allah guide u in each decision u make; may Allah help u whn life gets rough; may Allah bless u wid more thn enough; may Allah protect u whn u fall; may Allah hear u whn u call; may Allah sooth your heart whn u don’t understand; may u alwayz be in Allah’s loving hands. Ramdan mubarak. —Yours Faisal
DISCLAIMER: Dil Se is a compilation of fun messages from our readers. The views expressed herein belong entirely to the senders and are not to be construed as an endorsement by the publication. Send in your Dil Se messages to meandmydelhi@gmail.com
Daisy Shah
Simple Kaul
ON TRUE LOVE
The way we love is highly influenced by what we think of as ‘normal’. In our present day, we have some highly unhelpful images of love in circulation that often leave us feeling that our lives have gone wrong in very unusual and terrible ways. The ideal love stories we need would therefore show us the legitimacy of difficulty and give us courage to face these hurdles.
my city htcity
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The course of love n
Author: Alain de Botton
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Publisher: Penguin
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Price: `599