Yo' Mama Magazine - Fall 2007

Yo’ Mama A Magazine by Young Mothers for Young Mothers

In this issue:

naturopathic Doctors street proofing 101 HPV

feature section on:

Family Planning $3.00 Volume 2, Issue 8, Fall 2007

Inside Yo’ Mama News & Views

Letter from the Editor

Relationships

Dealing With In-Laws Do You Have a Good Doctor?

News From The Hood: Parkdale Made In Canada Nuva Ring

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Health & Safety Preparing For A Safe Labour HPV Nox 9 and Latex Allergies Naturopathic and Holistic Doctors Street Proofing Your Child Did You Know?

Amanda’s Recipe: Butter Chicken

Parenting

Kids In Discovery Zone

Education

Plastic Surgery: The Facts Yo’ Mama’s Glam Guide

Beauty

Fashion

Yo’ Mama is produced and distributed with the support of:

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Feature: FAMILY PLANNING Relationships With An Age Difference And Then There Were Two Morning After Pill: The Facts Important Numbers Choosing The Perfect Pet What’s Happening In My Belly?

Adoption: The Facts Abortion: The Facts A Different Kind Of Family Moving In With Your Man Why I Chose To Have An Abortion My Daughter Was With C.A.S. Let’s Grow Together The 411 On Immunizations

Words & Wisdom

Book and Product Reviews Resources

Contests:

Funny Kids Photos

Word Search From There To Here: Chantal’s Story Poetry: Mother My One And Only I No Longer Wonder

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Letter from the Editor

Relationships Yo’ Mama Contributors Editor-In-Chief: Amanda Cain

Hi everyone!

Layout Design and Art: Amanda Cain

Welcome to the Fall edition of Yo’ Mama.

Copy Editor: Tanis Rideout

This was an ironic edition, as we had planned the feature last year, but I am currently planning my own family expansion (yes, yes y’all, I’m three months pregnant!)

Our writer’s have put in tremendous effort into this edition, with tons of interviews and long hours researching.

This editions featured section: Family Planning could have spanned at least 10 more articles around everything one needs to know or take into consideration while planning for a child, or to prepare for a new edition. However we hope that this information gives you the basics of what you should be prepared for.

As Canadians, we are legally three options when we are making the decisions to parent or not. The choices of parenting, abortion or adoption are ours, and ours alone. Our Human Rights provide us the freedom to choose our options by ourselves. However we should always take into consideration those around us that will be affected by our choices.

I am proud to introduce two new writers to our team, Candace Lue and Christian Garate Roldan. These fabulous women will be writing on a regular basis for us, bringing us new insight and powerful research. If you’re interested in joining the Yo’ Mama team, please don’t hesitate to contact me with samples of your work.

Check out the free edition of Solace Magazine included with this edition of Yo’ Mama.

This month Solace looks at Relationships; the good, the bad and the ugly. The winter edition of Yo’ Mama and Solace will be hitting the streets in January and Yo’ Mama’s feature edition will be Bonding.

Be sure to stay tuned to our myspace (www.myspace.com/yomamamag) and Facebook sites for up to date info on workshops, neat programs around the city and information just for young mothers! As always, we’re on the lookout for events and issues to address. If you’d like to send in your comments or would like to participate with us, please feel free to contact me at acain@literatureforlife.org or 416.203.9830.

I hope all of you enjoy the fall and prepare for a safe and happy winter and be sure to mail in your responses for our contests.

Peace,

Amanda Cain Editor-In-Chief ~ Yo’ Mama, what are you doing about it? ~

It’s too many women that can say their mothers but can’t say that their wives. I wouldn’t chose any other to mother my understanding, but I want our parenthood to come from planning. It’s so much in my life that’s undone. We gotta see eye to eye, about family, before we can become one.

- Common

Contributing Writers: Trinity Abbott Amanda Cain Christina Gallo Christian Garate Roldan Jacqueline Graham Victoria Grant Andi Hui Trina Ivany Ju-lee Kerr Jessica Khan Emmanuel Khan-Rivera Candace Lue Vanessa Young Contact Information: Literature for Life 7 Labatt Ave., Suite 208 Toronto, Ont. M5A 1Z1 Tel: 416.203.9830 Fax: 416.203.2597 Email: staff@literatureforlife.org Web: www.literatureforlife.org www.myspace.com/yomamamag Charitable # 89431 8617RR0001 ©2007 Literature for Life Publications ISSN 1712-2643

The use of any part of this publication reproduced, transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise stored in a retrieval system without the prior written consent of the publisher is an infringement of copyright law.

The opinions expressed in Yo’ Mama are those of the respective authors, and do not necessarily represent those of Yo’ Mama or Literature for Life.

Yo’ Mama and Literature for Life will not be liable for any losses or damages, howsoever sustained, by any persons, they may result, due to reliance on the information, ideas, activities or products mentioned herein. Yo’ Mama strives to provide practical, safe and accurate information at all times, but we encourage all readers to seek professional advice where appropriate.

Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

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Relationships

Dealing With In-laws By: Candace Lue You say that your little one must not have sugar after 6 p.m., Grandma sneaks in a chocolate bar after 6 p.m. “One little piece of candy can’t hurt.” You say that your baby only wears Pampers, but you’re mysteriously seeing Huggies covering her derriere, “Buy what’s on sale, different brands are just out there to fool you and waste your money.”

You say he already ate, Grandpa goes ahead and makes another bottle, “Just in case.”

Does this sound familiar? Do you sometimes feel your power as a parent is diminished around the grandparents? Then read on. It is hard enough to tell your own parents where to go when it comes to your own way of raising your child but what happens when it’s your partner’s parents? You do not want to seem rude but still want to establish say in the life of your child when s/he stays over with her/his grandparents.

There is no easy way to put it, but I don’t know any time tested formula that works in dealing with in-laws. If you are having a hard time, your other half is probably going through the same issue as well. So, instead of looking for ways to establish your authority, try to understand where they are coming from. They are grandparents for crying out loud, one of the proudest moments in a person’s life; they get to see the loin of their loins. They have off-spring and they did not have to do the work – so exciting! Plus they raised children already and therefore you must be taught and guided. They cannot help but take over, or at least tell you what to do; it is almost inherent for them to do so.

Now that you have seen their point of view, it is time for them to see yours, so talk to them. Have an open conversation and let them know your feelings and why you do the things you do. Otherwise, when you override their suggestion, not only does it look disrespectful, it creates unnecessary tension in the family. Do you really want to have unspoken anxiety between you and your mother in-law because you refused to explain why you use Vaseline instead of Pamprin, although she preaches nothing but the gospel of Pamprin, when you change 4

Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

diapers? It may be that Vaseline is what you grew up with using and you actually feel Pamprin is not that effective. Say it! You do not want people feeling you do not respect their input for no real reason. It may sound petty but the way one communicates can either create tension or harmony whether or not either party is aware.

The tone and the words you use in which you communicate your message is very important. Be sure to be calm and choose words that acknowledges and respects your in-law’s opinions. Recognize that you know what is best for your baby, having tried their techniques and drawn the conclusion that it may not be the most effective.

Remember how it was when you were young at your grandparent’s house? It usually was fun, relaxing and they gave you the chance to do things you could not do at home. Well now your children will enjoy these same privileges with their grandparents. If your in-laws were anything like your Grandma and/or Grandpa, you know your child is in good hands.

Although you love your baby to bits, so do your parents and so do your in-laws. They also want what is best for your little tot but they may just have come to different viewpoints of how to achieve it.

Helpful Programs Child Development Institute 416-603-1827 www.childdevelop.ca 197 Euclid Ave, Toronto, ON (Bathurst St. & Dundas St. W.) Mon - Fri 8:30 - 4:30 * evening groups * appointments available after hours * children birth to 12 years and their families Family Services Association 416-595-9618 www.fsatoronto.com 355 Church St, Toronto, ON (Church St. & Gerrard St. E.) Mon - Fri 9 - 5 * evening appointments available * geared to income * some services free Yorktown Child and Family Centre 416-394-2424 www.yorktownfamilyservices.com 21 Ascot Ave, 1st Floor, Toronto, ON (Dufferin St. & St. Clair Ave. W.) Mon - Fri 9-5; Tue -Thu 9-8.

Contact intake worker

Relationships

Do You Have A Good Doctor?

Written by: Candace Lue Doctors are the gatekeepers to our health and well being. Although many are helpful and caring, as in many professions there are a few that may not be able to provide the care you need. It is important to know if your doctor is the right fit for you and your family. In Canada today most of us are lucky if we are even able to find a regular family doctor, obstetrician, gynecologist and/or pediatrician. However, it is important that you know how to advocate for yourself and your child. Don’t be afraid to go and find a second opinion.

On average 23,750 people die each year from in-hospital adverse events according to the Canadian Institute for Health Information. In addition, a University of Toronto study published by the American Medical Association studied 1,536 physicians and discovered that, “they judge their ... skills to be superb when, in fact, they were not only not superb, they were not very good.’ Only one third of the reports researched in the study showed a “pretty good” match between self-assessment and actual knowledge levels. The rest were either somewhat inadequate or perfectly inadequate.”

I know what you are thinking, ‘Oh my, our doctors today are terrible,’ however, this is not the case. I don’t want to scare you into believing doctors are not properly doing their jobs, because they are, but this is to serve as a reminder that the responsibility of your health, if you can help it, not only belongs to the doctor but to you as well.

A good way to tell if your doctor is the right fit for you is how she/he reacts to your concerns. Are your concerns overlooked? Do you feel after repeated visits unsatisfied with the service you receive? This may be a sign to look for another doctor or at least search for another doctor’s advice. On the upside if your doctor looks into your concerns and actively takes the time with you to discuss your health and what you need to do to keep it running at its best, that is a good sign.

Going to the doctor’s office is not supposed to make you nervous or scared, but a place where you feel safe and supported. If you are a person who is not usually nervous in

a doctor’s office and you suddenly feel this way going to a certain doctor, this is often a sign that you should be visiting another one.

Physicians are human just like us and besides the fact that they have vast knowledge in the field of medicine, it does not mean some may not have biases towards their clients or have a clear understanding of what you are feeling. Some may come from a religious background where abortion or the use of birth control is against their beliefs. So any mention of it may lead your doctor to not writing you a prescription or giving you a referral to see a specialist in birth control. Some are traditional and if you are not married by the time you are about to give birth, it may lead the doctor to have a negative view of you and/or your situation. These are just a few examples but these are not the only types of biases health professionals may be guilty of. It is important for you to be able to notice biases and pre-judgements. Today many medical students are taught more how to care psychologically for their clients learning empathy and sensitivity for their patients.

Remember only you know how you feel.

Doctor’s simply go by what you describe and may not be able to properly diagnosis it the first time round. Canadian doctors are overworked and their workload sometimes affects the quality of service you receive. So it is important to stress your issue to ensure you can receive the health care you need. At the end of the day it is the health of you and your family that is on the line.

News from the hood Parkdale Written by: Victoria Grant There is an under-rated and really good program taking place in the Parkdale Community. It’s the Parenting for Young Moms program which caters to the needs of young parents under the age of 25.

This new program is collaboratively run by Parkdale Community Health Centre, Creating Together, St. Christopher House, Parkdale Parents Primary Prevention Project, and More Than Child’s Play (MTCP). MTCP’s mission statement is “We strive to meet the diverse needs of parents and children in the local community. MTCP provides support services and information resources to parents and caregivers and children which encourage optimal social, emotional, and physical development in at atmosphere of equality, security, and harmony”.

Every Tuesday evening between 5 p.m -7 p.m. young mothers and children can drop by the Mesor Community Centre and enjoy a variety of programs. This can include everything from stress management exercises, understanding child development, job search skills workshops, and arts and crafts. The program also provides dinner as well as healthy snacks for moms and babies.

When speaking with one of the members involved in the program, she could not stress how family centred this program is. The main goal is to provide a safe and comfortable environment for young mothers and children to socialize and meet other members in the community. They provide women education and the resources they need to get connected with the community, get valuable information, and to take a break from the demands of being a mother everyday.

Although the program was originally set up for young moms in the Parkdale area, they have now expanded and will be accepting young mothers from any area. MTCP and the Parenting for Young Program are located in the Mesor Masaryk Cowan Community Recreation Centre at 220 Cowan Ave, between Jameson and Queen Street West.

For more information on Creating Together and all the programs they offer call 416-537-1004.

For information on Parenting for Young Moms and the other programs offered by MTCP in the Mesor Community Centre, contact Michelle at 416-516-3917 or on their website www.morethanchildsplay.com.

Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

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Relationships

made in canada Written by: Christian Garate Roldan Have you just arrived to Canada? Are you pregnant? Do you feel helpless?

I came to Canada in 2004 as a refugee claimant.

I arrived with my three-year-old daughter; our lives packed in two suitcases and no money. Yet the biggest fear in the world was being rejected and sent back to Mexico. We fled from a violent and corrupt environment and from people who were persecuting us, especially my daughter’s father. I arrived with a heavy load of emotional problems and fears. I did not speak English at all and I had no family or friends to rely on.

After finding a place to live and applying for refugee status, I had spent all the money I had with me. I then had to resort to living in a World Vision shelter, where they help immigrants. I lived there for a month. I met a man, another Mexican and there was some kind of chemistry between us, well that’s what I thought. I was feeling depressed, lonely and confused and I looked for comfort in him. But that comfort took the wrong turn and ended up in unprotected sex. After showing some signs of pregnancy I wanted to get a test, but I had no money for a pregnancy test and I felt too ashamed of myself to go to the doctor and find out. I read in a Spanish newspaper that there was a place where they provide free pregnancy tests, so I asked a friend to call on my behalf and she helped me to book an appointment. I did the test the next day at the centre and they told me that I was pregnant.

My first reaction was, “I am what?” It was a bit difficult to understand what they were telling me because there was nobody who could speak Spanish. I was so overwhelmed with the news that I couldn’t believe it and I wasn’t able to explain to anybody how I was feeling.

I kept asking myself over and over, “What the heck am I going to do now?” I didn’t know what to do with my life. I continued to attend my English (ESL) classes and looked for a 6

Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

way out of this situation. I studied harder than ever so I could communicate with others in English and be able to ask for the services and help that I needed for my daughter and myself.

I called several community centres where I thought they could help me. Unfortunately, when I tried to explain my situation with my poor English, some of them were not patient with me. Some suggested abortion or adoption. I was really disappointed that was the only council or support people had to offer. When I was just about to give up, I saw a flyer with resources for pregnant women.

And it had a section translated in Spanish.

Hope came back to me. I called the number in the flyer, a Spanish speaking person explained all the details of the program and invited me to attend.

Meanwhile the guy who got me pregnant was now evading me. I wasn’t the only one looking for him; immigration was too! There was no chance of finding him anywhere.

I wanted to be informed of the services I could receive and how to deal with my immigrant status. I collected every flyer of community centres I found on my way. I knocked on at least a dozen doors but I did find it. I was referred to Working Women Community Centre where they helped me with information and forms for immigration. They also made several referrals for me, one of which was for a psychologist, who helped me to change my life. She supported me through the pregnancy and the immigration process, helped me to find more resources and most importantly to start appreciating myself again and to accept the situation I was going through. I learned to love my growing baby and to take better care of my daughter and myself.

That was a tremendous boost and it enabled me to cope with this huge challenge in a positive and constructive way. I discovered a new world and I had the opportunity to meet amazing people and grow in every aspect of my

life. I finished my ESL class, which provided me with the basic skills to start high school.

I started attending the prenatal program and I learned to deal with the Social Assistance System. Along the way I made some friends here and there, at the various programs; and even received a surprise baby shower. Around my fifth month of pregnancy my life took a fairy tale turn. A friend introduced me to a Canadian woman, who later on adopted my kids as her grandchildren. She was wonderful with me and helped me as much as she could.

She was also present when I gave birth. I am so grateful for her and for all the people who helped me along the way.

My status as an immigrant played a dramatic role in my pregnancy. I had certain advantages like having better health care than in my country and disadvantages, such as the language barrier. My immigration process was certainly stressful and took longer than I expected. I was feeling restless and anxious without knowing what to expect from the Immigration and Refugee Board. The fact that I wasn’t properly informed about the process made it even more complicated. But with the help I received from my new network, everything worked out well and later on I received my Landed Immigrant status.

I can proudly say that my baby and my new life were made in Canada. What else can be better than to have a second chance in your life to make things right?

Relationships Being an immigrant is challenging. So is pregnancy without your family or friends.

Try to be as strong as you can and most importantly, have faith always in yourself.

Changes are not always easy; but make the best of them. Moving to a new country can be demanding, especially if you have to learn a new language and start all over. You have to keep moving forward, learn from your experiences and not be afraid to ask for help.

Be aware of the resources in you community.

Make friends. Dedicate some time just for yourself. It doesn’t matter where you are or who you are, there is no other person more valuable than yourself.

This is a list of a few centres that help immigrant women and pregnant women: Citizenship & Immigration Canada www.cic.gc.ca or www.irb-cisr.gc.ca This website helps you to know more about the immigration process.

Settlement www.settlement.org This web site helps you to get settle in Toronto and answer some or our frequent asked questions Birthright 777 Coxwell Avenue Toronto, Ontario 416 –469-1111 1-800-550-4900 They make free pregnancy test, give counseling and help with clothing for pregnant women.

Toronto Public Health Free Drop-ins for Pregnant Women 416-338-7600 Working Women Community Centre 533A Gladstone Avenue Toronto, Ontario 416-532-2824 www.workingwomencc.org St. Joseph’s Health Centre Women’s Health Centre 30 Queensway Toronto, Ontario 416-530-6850

NuvaRing® Written by: Ju-lee Kerr Maybe the whole birth control thing didn’t work out the first time, that’s ok, it is never too late to start thinking about what type of contraception you would feel most comfortable using. There are many forms of birth control on the market, in this piece I will be focusing on a new type called the NuvaRing®, consider this a review as I attempt to gather all information regarding this product. When researching I took it upon myself to test it out before I open my big mouth.

I have been using the NuvaRing® for half a year now and although I still experience my inevitable mood swings and spotty outbreaks. I am quite happy with the last six nonpregnant months of my life. After my son was born seven-years-ago I became quite paranoid about getting pregnant again. It was torturous every month waiting for the flood gates to open. During the last seven years I have tried four different brands of the birth control pill along with foams, creams, female and male condoms, the diaphragm, patch and abstinence.

Finally I feel as though I am free from worrying, but I guess being in a committed and loving relationship helps me worry less too.

The NuvaRing® is a transparent, flexible ring that looks like a miniature hula hoop. After washing your hands this ring is squeezed between your thumb and index finger and slowly pushed up into your Vagina like you would an applicator free tampon (lube up if you wish).

Be sure to slide your index finger all the way in to secure a spot for your ring. Remember you can’t lose it up there, if anything your kegel muscles that make up the pelvic floor will hold the ring in place even during workouts and sex (depending on how wild it is).

I’ve had mine fall out twice which is no big deal, you just wash it off and put it back in immediately, the sooner the better. Other times you can lose the ring is in the toilet if you push too hard or if you possess weak muscles in that area, so get ready to catch it if you feel it crowning. Always replace the NuvaRing® if it has been out for more than three hours unintentionally.

By now you have probably noticed that this birth control requires its user to be comfortable with inserting her fingers up into herself. It’s not the most pleasant thing in the world in this context but is way easier than raising a child. Along with feeling comfortable with her body she also needs to know that the NuvaRing® does not protect her against STD’s whatsoever, the ring is merely a tool for keeping the population down. If you are not aware of your partner’s sexual health status be sure to take charge and wear your own female condom or insist on him using a rubber.

So once the NuvaRing® is in you shouldn’t feel much (neither partner should feel anything during sex), maybe some pressure but most times it’s as though it isn’t even there. The ring stays there for three weeks and then on the same day you put it in, you take it out. The fourth week is when you have your period (most times).

The NuvaRing® is said to be more reliable than “The Pill” as it is not something you have to think about daily, weekly but rather monthly. NuvaRing® is a combination hormone contraception and works in much the same way as “The Pill” by tricking your body, your ovaries do not release a mature egg and it also messes with the lining of the uterus and the consistency of your discharge, so if a sperm did make his way to the egg, the chances of the egg attaching itself to the wall of your uterus is low. Apparently the success rate is 99 per cent, which is fabulous.

Because of the hormones, there are side affects you should be aware of: headaches, nausea, thickened vaginal discharge, vaginal infection/irritation, breast tenderness, weight gain/loss, moodiness, spotting, blood clots, breast cancer, gall bladder disease, mental depression, lack of sex drive (great way to stay non-pregnant) If you are on meds for diabetes, high blood pressure, liver disease or migraines be sure to check with your doc before going on the NuvaRing®. A good Physician will ask or know your current medication status. If you are breastfeeding or pregnant DO NOT use the NuvaRing®.

A wise thing to do before starting any type of medication is to research and ask questions to people you know are using the product, a good way to get consumers response is by reading blogs on the internet about the NuvaRing®. Be sure to read the pamphlet carefully before you begin your experiment.

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Health & Safety

Preparing for a Safe Labour Written by: Ju-lee Kerr Yep, it’s me again, hounding you to move that milkshake and try with all your heart to make it a habit. This particular piece is all about prenatal fitness. I figured I’d let you know about some of the things I learnt while shooting for my Pre and Post natal Fitness Certifications. A lot of the information below is suggested by Health Canada and based on the *PARmed-X for pregnancy form.

Health Canada suggests that if you were not a regular exerciser prior to pregnancy, wait until your second trimester to begin. First trimester can be dedicated to light walking and rest. If you were active already you can continue your regular routine as long as it is comfortable for you and not extreme in intensity. I would avoid contact sports.

There are three forms of fitness.

1. Cardiovascular fitness 2. Strength training 3. Flexibility training These three components, if used together can improve your posture, guarantee a healthy heart, knees, lower back and shoulders.

If working out for an hour you can break it up like this.

20 minutes of Cardio – walking, low impact aerobics, cycling.

25 minutes of Strength training 15 minutes of yummy stretching As ladies we most times think if we do crazy, intense cardio for an hour we will lose lots of weight. Not the case. You are more likely to injure yourself and drop out of exercise altogether. Muscle training in terms of strength and stretch results in toned, sexy curves along with the ability to put your legs behind your head – guys love that. So try to even it out and feel the burn.

You may be wondering how often to exercise, how hard, what kind and when?

As a fitness professional I am taught about the FITT principles that answer every one of those questions.

F - frequency I – intensity T – time T – type

Whether you’re pregnant or not you should keep in mind all these elements while molding your gorgeous physique.

Frequency refers to how often you should exercise. As a pregnant mum it is wise to start off once or twice a week and build from there. You can exercise five times a week if you like – I would definitely give myself a couple of days rest. Three times per week is average for the working out mom.

Intensity is talking about how hard you work out. No need to push your boundries, you would be doing nobody justice if you were passed out on the floor.

Think of a scale from one to ten.

One represents really easy Ten represents very hard You should stay within a 6 – 7 on that scale to keep in the safe zone. Once you are feeling 6 - 7 is too easy you can challenge yourself up to an 8.

Time refers to how long you workout for, depending on the activity that is. When working your heart you can perform low impact aerobics, cycling, and walking anywhere from 15 – 30 minutes per session. If the exercise is gentle walking you could go for 45 minutes, but don’t exceed that time. In terms of stretching and strengthening you can work muscles from 10 – 45 minutes as well. Be cautious when working and stretching your abdominal muscles.

Type looks at what forms of physical activities you would be interested in doing.

The key is it has to be FUN for you or else you won’t stick to it. Again keep the activity modest unless you have prior experience in that activity already. Starting something new can look easier than it really is.

You want to protect that precious belly with your heart, soul and mind. In my

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Health & Safety professional opinion I feel Prenatal Yoga and Pilates can take a new mum on a spiritual journey, improve her chances of a drug free labour and teach her how to relax once baby comes into this world. It is generally safe and will help mum open up those hips and relieve lower back pain.

Yoga is an ancient practice of strength and stretch. Sometimes it reminds me of Cirque du Soleil. Headstands, shoulder stands and balancing acts bring you back to your own childhood so that you can enjoy the exhilarating endorphins that’ll get you standing on your head, literally. Now if you are a Yogini blessed with the seed of life you can continue the same practices until well into your pregnancy. For a beginner I would keep the inversions to a minimum.

Apart from the strange, pretzel like positions that we put ourselves in, we are also able to improve circulation, balance, strength endurance, lung capacity, bone health, flexibility and ability to handle stressful situations. Sounds like a new mum could use all of those in her new life. The improved circulation will keep her bod in tip top shape. Balance is always helpful when tackling the ice and snow. Holding baby for hours on end will need upper and lower body strength. Being able to breathe deeply into the depths of your lungs will help you calm your nerves when in labour and when your child is drawing on your walls. Bone health is a big issue for women later on in life, keep those muscles strong now and you will keep your bones nice and dense for a long time. Good flexibility can keep your odds of injuring yourself low or non existent.

Reasons not to exercise • Pregnancy-induced hypertension • Preterm rupture of membranes • Fluid from vagina • Preterm labour during the prior or current • Abdominal pain pregnancy or both • Sudden swelling of hands, ankles and face • Incompetent cervix • Swelling/pain in calf of one leg • Persistent second/third trimester bleeding • Headaches, dizziness or blurry vision • Intrauterine growth retardation • Chest pain or extreme fatigue • Failure to gain weight Things to avoid during exercise: • Absence of fetal movement • • • •

Holding breath Dehydration Warm/humid environments Lying on your back for more than 10 minutes past month 4 • Over doing it – listen to your body • Persistent uterine contractions • Bloody discharge from vagina

Safety is always the number one thing to consider before trying out something new especially since you have to think of baby too. Always consult a doctor before beginning any exercise routine. Remember to listen to your body, taking rests whenever needed. For free advice on prenatal or post natal fitness contact me, Ju-lee via email

survivalofthefitt@hotmail.com and I would be more than happy to answer any of your questions.

For information on Prenatal or Postnatal fitness classes in the West End check out www.survivalofthefitt.com, discounts to teen mums available. *PARmed-X for pregnancy form allows you and your doctor to thoroughly asses your health in pregnancy. It gives the instructor an idea of whether it will benefit you and your baby to exercise or not.

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Health & Safety

By Trinity Abbott

HPV

What’s all this hype about HPV? It started with advertising on TV and then notices up in doctors’ offices. Then all the controversy. So what’s the deal? I looked into some facts because I was curious about this issue. Let’s start with what is HPV. Human papillomavirus is the correct term. It can infect the skin and genital area. There are over 130 types of HPV. Some produce warts of the genital area and can cause cancer of the cervix, vagina, penis, and anus.

HPV’s that affect the genital area are caused through sexual contact. According to Health Canada more then 75% of men and women will be affected by this infection at one point in their life. The types of HPV that cause genital warts do not cause cancer. Genital warts could be flat, or resemble a small cauliflower. You would notice them on the vulva, cervix, penis, scrotum, rectum or thigh area. The types of HPV that cause cancer have no visible signs. Most will not even know they have it. For woman the main cause of alarm is infection of the cells in the cervix. These can only be determined by a Pap test.

Almost all cervical cancers are caused by HPV. However over 99 per cent of women with HPV will never get cervical cancer because most HPV infections will go away by themselves. If the virus is not cleared then HPV will cause changes in cervical cells, which can cause cancer, but only in a smaller amount of women. It is believed to take ten years or more to process.

Other then the Pap test there is another test available for women but it is not covered by OHIP. There is no cure for HPV but there are medicated gels and creams for genital warts. Canada has recently approved Gardasil, a vaccine for HPV. This vaccine has shown to be effective against certain types of HPV that cause genital warts and most cervical cancers. The recommended ages for the vaccines are 9 to 26 however women still need to take regular PAP tests. The controversy around HPV has been in the vaccine and the age range for it. However the reasoning for the age range is because they want to catch the girls before they become sexually active. As a parent, you have the option of explaining to your child that is vaccine is to prevent certain types of cancer without going into details about anything sex related. Right now the vaccine is not covered by OHIP and there is a charge for it, unless you get the shot at your school clinic.

No matter what you decide remember to have regular PAP tests and use protection when having sex.

Spermicide and Latex Allergies Written by: Victoria Grant Nonoxynol 9 or N9 for short is a spermicide. Well what is a spermicide? Spermicides are chemical products inserted in a woman’s vagina before sex that inactivate or kill sperm. The main chemicals used in spermicides are nonoxynol-9, octoxynol-9, menfegol, and benzalkonium chloride; although nonoxynol-9 is the most common. They can be used immediately after childbirth, and have no hormonal side effects.

Spermicides come in several different forms—cream, jelly (gels), melting suppository, foaming tablet, and aerosol foam.

Some condoms come equipped with N9, but they were discontinued after findings showed that the condoms caused irritation. Some men and woman have a sensitivity or allergic reaction to nonoxynol-9 that may irritate the delicate tissues of the vagina or the male urethra. If irritation occurs, you should stop usage. The cervix once irritated can become inflamed and will cause a woman to be at greater risk for catching HIV. You would be at greater risk for catching HIV because white blood cells go to the inflamed area sensing that it needs to be healed and HIV attacks white blood cells.

What is latex? It is a natural rubber that comes from a liquid in tropical rubber trees. This liquid is processed to make many of the following rubber products used at home and at work such as balloons, rubber toys, pacifiers and baby-bottle nipples, rubber bands, adhesive tape and bandages, diapers and sanitary pads, and condoms.

The protein in rubber can cause an allergic reaction in some people and the thin, stretchy latex rubber in gloves, condoms and balloons is high in this protein. Some women and men are allergic to latex condoms and symptoms of a latex allergy can include itching, dryness, and rash.

How can you test for latex allergies? There is always the method of the balloon test. This consists of taking a balloon and rubbing it along your genitals to test how your body reacts. Also, if you do find discomfort while having sex, or think that you may have a latex allergy you can visit your doctor’s office or a clinic and state that your genitals get irritated during sex. If you are allergic to latex there are substitutes out there for you; natural skin and polyurethane condoms are available. Currently, Durex Avanti condoms offer non-latex polyurethane film. The Avanti condoms can be used with oil based lubricants, and even though they are more expensive than latex condoms, they do have a plus of conducting heat better. Another alternative is using the female condom also made out of polyurethane.

Leba Spring of Toronto Public Health has provided me with some helpful information and advice. Leba advised that if a couple does want to use condoms and they have been together for three months straight. Once they have been tested for STD’s and HIV and have figured a way to prevent pregnancy if not wanted (i.e., birth control pills) they can stop using condoms but must remain monogamous. And if someone does step outside the relationship, it’s important to use a condom. STD and HIV testing is provided free of charge at Toronto Sexual Health Clinics.

To find clinic locations or to get more information regarding sexual health visit www.toronto.ca/health at the A-Z index, click on “S” for sex and there you can find lots of sexual health information. You can also call the AIDS & Sexual Health Info Line at (416) 392-2437 Monday to Friday 9 a.m.-11:30 p.m. and Saturday to Sunday 11 a.m.- 4 p.m. The info line is free across Ontario.

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Health & Safety

Naturopathic & Holistic Doctors Written by: Trina Ivaney Herbal medicine is a fast growing branch of “alternative cures” as opposed to following treatments prescribed by western doctors.

But a lot of people wonder why their doctor isn’t talking about “natural medicine” or vitamins, or other alternative therapies.

Herbs have been ignored in western medical schools and only recently have they begun to make the occasional appearance. Male doctors, on the whole seem more resistant to the benefits of herbal and alternative remedies and patients are often reluctant to reveal that they are taking herbal/vitamins because they are afraid of being looked down on, or laughed at Yet sometimes these herbal treatments may affect the treatment the doctor prescribes for good or ill. In today’s society patients should not be afraid to talk about medical issues and alternative heath practices. You do have some doctors who are willing to talk about or make referrals to holistic/Natural healers if the patient wants and if the doctor doesn’t have an answer for you. But it may be up to you to ask the questions.

If you are thinking about finding an alternative therapy there are doctors that can help. There are many Naturopathic / Holistic / Homeopathy doctors and clinics out there.

Check your phone book or online to find ones close to you. When you find a couple go in and ask questions about the kinds of treatment they offer. These doctors go through extensive training and they should be willing to work with you. You should not be afraid to ask as many questions as you need to so that you feel comfortable with the doctor you choose. (The same should be true, of course, for any health professional).

2. Is alternative medicine used around the world?

Today many people seek out alternative medicine. There are millions of patients in more than 65 countries and more and more doctors seem to be recommending alternative therapies everyday.

3. Is this a safe choice for my child?

All the medicines are made with active ingredients that carry no risk of toxicity.

There is no danger of dependency and even less worries about side effects. (Be sure, however, to double check any prescriptions for allergies, interactions with other medications, food etc.)

4. Can I take theses of I am on a prescription from my doctor?

It depends on the medication your doctor has prescribed and the treatment the naturopath is prescribing. Keep all your health professional fully informed of any medication you or your child is on!

These are only some basic questions so be sure to add your own.

I personally have used the help of alternative medicine for my son who is seven-years-old.

Doctors told me that with his low immune

system and next to no blood circulation in his legs that there was not too much left for them to try and do to help him. I took him to see a doctor who does have a medical degree but prefers natural medicine and he found three different vitamins that could help him keep his immune system stable and help his circulation. One of the vitamins they put him on- Ginkgo Biloba helps with three things on a regular basis. It helps people to improve memory, cognitive function and enhances circulation.

There are many places that sell heath products and it is very easy to try and selfmedicate with vitamins but you must get a doctor’s opinion on which is best one.

Don’t be afraid to consider alternative medicine; it has been around for thousands of years, think about what people did before science came in? What did they use when they had no doctor to go to? Where was there local pharmacy? And somehow many of these people made it through generations with their old “wise tale” or old “wives tale” on what to take when and for what. How many times have you heard sore throat?

Drink some tea and put lemon in it? Or even garlic helps with things? Some are stories but some are actual helpful!

Good luck and I wish you the best on your journey to good heath!

Here are some questions and answers I have asked these doctors. You may want to use them as a guideline or make your own.

1. Why would I want to choose alternative therapies?

Alternative medicine uses natural herbs and vitamins to help the body stimulate its natural resources. It has been proved to help such things as: allergies, coughs, colds, flus, stress, arthritis and even with things such as low immune systems, headaches and colic in babies.

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11

Health & Safety

Street Proofing Your Child

Written by: Vanessa Young, ECE

Last year alone, Nation Missing Children Services stated that an alarming 60,461 children were reported missing in Canada.

Although only 1 per cent of all abduction are done by strangers, there is still an illusion that strangers are the biggest threat to your child. Your child is more likely to go missing with someone that he or she know such as a family member, friend, or someone trusted like a coach.

Last year in Canada 326 reported abductions were committed by parents or guardian. The best prevention that you can take is to teach your child and yourself what to do if your child becomes lost or goes missing.

Tips on keeping your child safe: • Teach your child their VITAL STATS: full name, address, phone number, mom and dad’s name, emergency contacts.

Go over this information frequently until your child knows it by heart. If your child is too young to repeat this information you can write it down and place it in your child’s pocket. You can also write your child’s vital stats on the inside of your child jacket, hat or shoes etc. NEVER EVER WRITE YOUR CHILD’S NAME ON THE OUTSIDE OF THEIR CLOTHES OR BACKPACK predators’ can use that information to lure and gain your child’s trust.

• Take a picture of your child before

you leave the house (camera phone, digital camera) this way if your child were to get lost at least you have a current picture to show to the authorities.

If you forget or don’t have a digital

camera pay close attention to what your child is wearing (colour, style, patterns, materials etc) how their hair is styled and type of shoes. You should be able to paint a picture with only words if needed. It is also important to know your child’s height, weight, any distinguishing features i.e.: birth marks, scars, missing teeth etc.

• Make your child aware of what you are wearing before you both go out, therefore if they get lost they can describe you to the authorities.

• Before going anywhere busy remind your child their vital stats, safety rules and point out a meeting place in case you get split up. Make your child aware of who they can go to, if they get lost or need help; security guard, store clerk, police officer, mother with children etc.

• You should never leave your child alone, especially in public. It only takes seconds for your child to wander off, get lost or even worse gets abducted.

• Keep the lines of communication open with your child, have conversations and build a trusting relationship. If your child knows that you are someone that they can trust they are more likely to come to you with questions, concerns and problems.

Your child needs to know that you will be there for them.

• Know your children’s friends and their parents. Keep your child’s friends phone numbers and addresses in a safe place.

• Talk to your child about different situations that might arise. Eg ‘A person comes up to you and asks you if you want a ride home. What do you do?’

• If your child walks to and from school alone try to buddy your child up with a few other friends to walk with. This way they can all look out for each other.

• If your child surfs on the net make them aware of online safety rules; never talk to anyone on-line that you do not know, never meet anyone on-line, even if they seem like a nice person on-line, they are still a stranger, and do not send any personal information including your picture to anyone online without your mom or dad’s permission.

• Remind your child that he or she should not talk to strangers and that a stranger is someone who your child does not know; a stranger does not have to look or seem scary (many children picture a stranger as a scary looking person.)

• Give your child permission to shout “Help,” “I don’t know you,” “Don’t touch me,” “Fire” etc. and if that doesn’t work kick, scream, spin and run if they feel that an adult is going to cause them harm.

• Teach your child that’s it’s okay to say no to adults especially if the adult tells your child to do something that makes him/her feel uncomfortable.

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Parenting • If your child becomes lost REMAIN CALM, you will be more useful/ helpful in assisting in finding your child if you are calm.

• In a safe spot you should keep an up to date picture of your child (no older then six months), a few strands of your child’s hair (from the root), your child’s finger prints, and a record of any distinguishing features, your child’s height, weight, eye and hair color. You can get a child identification booklet from www. missingchildren.ca.

Children’s safety rules • I know my vital stats.

• I will make sure I tell my parents or guardians where I am going at all times.

• I will keep a safe distance away between strangers and myself.

• I know how and when to call 911.

• I will always ask my parents or guardians before accepting anything from anyone.

• I will only get into a car if my parents or guardians tells me it’s okay.

guardian.

• 6,728 children were reported as runaways (under 18-years-old).

• 46 non-parental abductions.

• 10,761 unknown disappearances in which the police do not have enough information to categorize it.

• 2,600 others which include lost, runaways from detention centers and accidents.

• 64 per cent of missing children are found within 24 hours.

• 86 per cent of children are found within the first week.

• 78 per cent of disappearances are runaways.

• 75 per cent of runaways disappear more than once.

• 34 per cent of children disappear from their families’ house.

• 58 per cent of missing children are female.

• 42 per cent of missing children are males.

• I will not keep secrets from my parents, especially if another adult tells me to.

• 80 per cent of missing children are between the ages of 14 to 17-years-old.

• I will trust my instincts, if something doesn’t feel right it’s probably not.

• 0.8 per cent of missing children are under five-years-old.

• I will only walk on well lit streets and on routes that my parents/ guardians say it’s okay to walk on.

Websites to check out:

• If something happens that makes me feel uncomfortable I will tell someone I trust.

www.missingchildren.ca To order your child identification booklet.

2006 statistics from National Missing Children Service

www.opp.ca/Intranetdev/groups/public/ documents/publicrelations/opp_000258. pdf For street proofing tips

• 326 children were abducted by a parent or

www.safekids.com/kidsrules.htm

Did you know?

About the Food Programs offered through Toronto Public Health?

The Canada Prenatal Nutrition Program (CPNP) is for women in the prenatal and post-natal stages. The program features $5 - 10 food certificates, food and nutritional supplements, healthy snacks, ,education on healthy pregnancy and nutrition counselling.

The Peer Nutrition Program is offered to parents and caregivers of children 6 months to 6 years from culturally diverse communities They provide you with $10 food certificates, two times a month. It will help you improve infant and child feeding practices, food purchasing, food purchasing and preparation skills.

Nutrition workshops and support groups and drop -in sessions. Participants willl have access to community gardens, fruit and vegetable distribution once per month.

The At-Risk Pregnant & Parenting Homeless Women Project is for young and homeless or sheltered pregnant women who are under the age of 29. Food certificates, food preparation skills training, prenatal education and counselling are available.

To become a member of one of these programs, contact Toronto Public Health at 426-338-7600 and find out where the closest centre is to you!

Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

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Health & Safety

Amanda’s Recipe: Indian Butter The story behind the recipe

Cooking Instructions

I got this recipe a few years ago from a friend who introduced me to Indian food. She brought in homemade butter chicken for me to try and I immediately fell in love with it. After that fateful day I have been hooked on staple Indian foods. I hope you in enjoy it!

1) Marinade the chicken the night before in the tandoori paste/powder.

Ingredients

3) Heat the oil in a fry pan. Add the crushed garlic, and let it cook till slightly brown

4-6 pieces of chicken breast cut into cubes

2) Cook the chicken in a separate pot until tender.

•

• Tandoori

paste or

4) Add the cumin and stir for few minutes.

5) Throw in the onions, and keep stirring until the onions are slightly brown

powder •1

small can of tomato paste

•1

tsp. turmeric powder

•1

tsp. cumin powder

•2

tsp garam masala powder

•2

cloves of garlic, crushed

•5

cardamon seeds

•1

small onion cut into long slices

• 1/2

tsp of paprika

• 1/2

pint of whipping cream or sour cream

• salt

to taste

•1

6) Add the whole can of tomato paste while continuing to stir (keep the heat at medium).

7) Add in the garam masala, paprika, salt, turmeric and cardamon seeds.

8) Slowly add in the whipping cream, and continue to stir. (Don’t let the mixture sit, as the cream will start to burn.

9) Add water to the curry mixture so it is not too thick and reaches the consistency you want.

10) Keep stirring on low/medium heat for about 8-10 minutes.

11) Add the cooked chicken into the curry and mix.

tablespoon of oil 12) Serve with basmati rice or naan (pictured above).

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Parenting

K.I.D.Z Kids In Discovery Zone Written by: Vanessa Young, ECE For some children going to school can be a drag, so why not make the walk to school more enjoyable by including simple games to play on the way to school. Here are a few simple games that you can play while going to school;

ahead of you, once you say red light your child must stop and stand still until catch up to them and say green light again. To enhance this game for your older child you can spell out S-T-O-P and G-O or R-E-D and G-R-E-E-N.

Going on a scavenger hunt

I spy with my little eye

Before leaving for school, write down a few things that you can find or see in your neighbourhood, you can include younger children in this activity by drawing pictures to represent the words. Here’s an example or some of the things you may find on your scavenger hunt:

Take turns with your child spying different objects in your neighbourhood. To enhance this game for older children you can spy, letters, numbers and words.

• • • • • •

A bus stop A maple leaf An acorn A square 2 seagulls And stop sign

Don’t forget to bring a marker or crayon to check off the items as you find them.

Red light green light When playing this game be aware of your surroundings and know your children, for some children it’s best to play this game in a park.

To play red light, green light (or stop and go) you will be the stop light, when you say green light your child will walk a few steps

From these activities you child will: • • • •

Enhance their gross motor skills Develop/enhance letter and number recognition Enhance fine motor skills Enhance observation skills -become aware of their neighbourhood and surroundings.

• Enhance receptive (listening and understanding) and expressive (speaking) language.

Gross motor skills is the use of your large muscles; arms, legs, feet and torso. From birth your infant will begin to develop gross motor by gaining control of his/her head and torso once your child is able to hold up his/her upper body they will begin to develop lower body strength and you will soon see your infant sitting up. These gross motor skills will continue to enhance and develop as your child grows older and though engaging in gross motor activities such as running, jumping, skipping and hopping your child will develop muscle coordination, spatial awareness, balance, muscle control, body awareness and laterality (being aware of your right and left side of your body).

Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

15

Education

Plastic Surgery:

The Facts Written by: Andi Hui Plastic surgery has become the latest trend for women and men. Everyone now a days is on a quest to achieve that perfect body and now that dream is that much closer to becoming a reality. With procedures ranging from botox to full body lifts you can now have almost anything on your body improved.

But before you run out and get this done there are a couple of things that you should be aware of. Not all surgeons are qualified even though they may say so, there have been many horror stories about people who have had their bodies and faces disfigured because of an incapable surgeon.

Here are a few steps that you should follow when trying to find a surgeon that is right for you: 1. Board Certified is better.

You should select a surgeon that has been certified by the Royal College of Physicians and Surgeons of Canada. In order for the surgeon to be certified they need to have completed specialized training in cosmetic surgery and have passed written and oral examinations to be certified.

2. Experience Counts.

Ask your surgeon how long he/she has been performing the procedure that you are looking into. Ask if they are using the latest technique and if they have had any special training in the specific procedure. Also ask how many times the surgeon has performed the procedure. So in other words the more experience the surgeon has, the better.

3. Communication is important.

You should be able to feel comfortable and open talking to your surgeon. You should ask yourself whether or not your questions 16

Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

have been answered thoroughly. Did they inform you of the risks, side effects and recovery time of the procedure? It is also a good idea to ask the surgeon to give you a list of former patients that have had the same procedure done so you can speak to them directly. This will give you a better idea about the actual procedure and the methods and personality of your surgeon. Once you have found your surgeon you should also do your own research on the certain procedure that you are interested in having done.

Here is a list of different procedures, their descriptions and costs.

Abdominoplasty (Tummy Tuck) Sometimes after multiple pregnancies or large weight loss, abdominal muscles weaken, and skin in the area becomes flaccid. Abdominoplasty can tighten the abdominal muscles and, in some instances improve stretch marks. In both men and women, the procedure will remove excess skin and fat. Generally, an incision is made across the pubic area and around the navel.

When skin laxity and muscle weakness is confined to the lower part of the abdomen, a modified abdominoplasty that limits tissue removal and muscle repair to the area below the navel may be performed. This usually leaves a shorter scar and no scarring around the navel.

Average Price: from $7,000 Breast Augmentation - Breast augmentation is trypically performed to enlarge small breasts, underdeveloped breasts or breasts that have decreased in size after a woman has had children. It is accomplished by surgically inserting an implant behind each breast. An incision is made either under the breast, around the areola (the pink skin surrounding the nipple) or in the armpit.

A pocket is created for the implant either behind the breast tissue or behind the muscle between the breast and the chest wall.

Average Price: from $5,500 Breast Lift - Frequently, a woman elects this surgery after losing a considerable amount of weight, or losing volume and tone in her breasts after having children. The plastic surgeon relocates the nipple and areola (the pink skin surrounding the nipple) to a higher position, repositions the breast tissue to a higher level, removes excess skin from the lower portion of the breast and then reshapes the remaining breast skin. Scars are around the areola, extending vertically down the breast and horizontally along the crease underneath the breast. Variations on this technique, in some cases may result in less noticeable scarring.

Average Price: from $5,500 Breast Reduction - Breast reduction is normally classified as a reconstructive procedure, since oversize breasts interfere with normal function and physical activity.

However, there is an important aesthetic component to the operation, since the plastic surgeon can improve the shape of the breasts and nipple areas. Breast reduction involves removing excess breast tissue and skin, repositioning the nipple and areola ( the pink skin surrounding the nipple) and reshaping the remaining breast tissue.

Average Price: from $5,500 Chemical Peel - Fine lines and wrinkles around the mouth and on the forehead and cheek areas may be improved with a wide range of skin treatments. A chemical peel solution is applied to the entire face or to specific areas to peel away the skin’s top layers. Several light to medium-depth peels can often achieve a similar results to one deeper peel treatment, with less risk and shorter recovery time. Peel solutions may contain alpha hydroxyl acids, tricholoracetic acid or phenol as the peeling agent, depending on the depth of the peel desired and on the patient selection factors.

Average Price: from $100 Chin Augmentation - Chin augmentation can strengthen the appearance of a receding chin by increasing its projection. The procedure does not affect the patient’s bite or jaw. There are two techniques: one is performed through an incision inside the mouth and involves moving the chinbone, then wiring it into position; the other approach requires insertion of an implant

Education through an incision inside the mouth, between the lower lip and the gum, or through an incision underneath the chin.

Average Price: from $3,000 Collagen Injections - Collagen is an injectable protein that can be used to treat facial wrinkles. Patients to be treated with collagen should first be tested for any allergic reaction. The results of collagen injections are not permanent, and treatments must be repeated periodically to maintain results.

Average Price: from $550 Eyelid Surgery - Aesthetic eyelid surgery can brighten the face and restore a more youthful appearance by reducing the fat that causes bags beneath the eyes and removing wrinkled, drooping layers of skin on the eyelids. Blepharoplasty is often performed along with a facelift or with other facial rejuvenation procedures. Incisions follow the natural contour lines in both upper and lower lids, or can be done through the lining of the lower eyelid, providing access to skin and fatty tissue. The thin surgical scars are usually barely visible and blend into the eyes’ natural lines and folds.

Average Price: from $3,500 Facelift - A facelift can reduce sagging skin on the face and neck. Incisions are placed in the hairline and then pass in front of and behind the ears; the exact design of incisions may vary from patient to patient and according to the surgeon’s personal technique. For younger patients, more limited incisions may be appropriate. When necessary, removal of fatty deposits beneath the skin and tightening of sagging muscles is performed. The slack in the skin itself is then taken up and the excess removed. Scars can usually be concealed by hair and makeup.

Average Price: from $5,000 Forehead Lift (Brow Lift) - The forehead lift is designed to correct or improve skin wrinkling, as well as loss of tone and sagging of the eyebrows that often occurs as part of the aging process. The procedure may also help to smooth horizontal expression lines in the forehead and vertical frown lines between the eyebrows. Incisions are placed behind the hairline above the ear and pass over the top of the head. In some cases, incisions may be placed in front of the hairline. Some patients may have the procedure performed with the use of an endoscope, requiring much shorter incisions.

Improvements are made beneath the skin

and on the deep muscles; skin and muscle are then tightened to give a fresher, more youthful appearance.

Average Price: from $3,500 Lip Augmentation - A permanent method of augmenting the lips is accomplished by surgically advancing the lip forward, with incisions placed inside the mouth.

A dermal-fat graft, taken from the deeper layers of the skin, may then be positioned under the mucosa (the lining of the lip) to add additional “plumpness.” Injecting fat collagen or other substances for lip augmentation is another alternative. The correction is not permanent, and injections must be repeated periodically to maintain results.

Average Price: from $300 Lip Reduction - To reduce the lips, a small strip of the mucosa (the lining of the lip) is surgically removed to narrow the lips to the desired proportion. The small scars on the outside of the lips are barely noticeable.

Average Price: from $300 Liposuction - Liposuction allows the plastic surgeon to remove localized collections of fatty tissue from the legs, buttocks, abdomen, back, arms, face and neck using a high vacuum device. The procedure leaves only minute scars, often as short as one-half

inch in length or less. The use of refined equipment allows removal from delicate areas such as calves and ankles. Lipoplasty removes fat, but it cannot eliminate dimpling or correct skin laxity. If a patient’s skin has lost much of its elasticity, the plastic surgeon may recommend a skin tightening procedure such as a thigh lift, buttock lift or arm lift, all of which leave more extensive scars.

Average Price: from $2,500 Cheekbone Augmentation - The cheekbones may be built up by placing an implant over them. This is usually performed through an incision within the mouth, but it may be done through a lower eyelid or brow lift incision.

Average Price: from $3,000 Nose Reshaping - Nose reshaping is usually performed to alter the size and shape of the bridge and tip of the nose. Reshaping is generally done through incisions inside the nose, but there may also be an incision passing across the central portion of the nose between the nostrils. It is sometimes necessary to narrow the base of the nose or reduce the size of the nostrils, which involves removing small wedges of skin at the base of the nostrils. The nose is reduced, or sometimes built up, by adjusting its supporting structures.

Average Price: from $5,000 Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

17

Education

Yo’ Mama’s Beauty Eyebrows

Written by: Jessica Khan Looking for simple inexpensive solutions for a quick pick me up? Well what better way then to start at the top? Your hair, lashes and brows frame your face and make you look groomed and polished whatever the occasion.

Hair Looking to lighten or darken your hair? Its easier then you think. In this day and age who needs a salon with so many easy at home do it your self-color products? For $10 - 15, these products give you room to play with color without the huge financial strain.

Even on the darkest hair there are at home products with different levels of color potency and are infused with things like vitamin E and aloe. The most important thing to do is read the box and included insert to see which product is best for you. Many products have toll free numbers right on the box where you can talk to experts, get advice and ask any color related questions. It’s never been easier to do it yourself. Tip: when coloring hair at home use good old Vaseline to grease around hair line so the dye doesn’t stain your face or ears and be sure to use old clothing and towels when coloring. It’s best to color hair a day after you wash it as the color clings better when there’s some build up.

Perhaps you’re looking for an ‘au natural’ option to give your fall hair-do a little sizzle?

Try a shine shampoo that’s sure to polish up dry tired hair. For an added boost, there are many color enhancing products either for natural and colored hair both are available for between $4 -10.

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Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

Now for well-groomed brows. They’re more important then you think. Your brows compliment and frame your face creating shape and balance. It’s also one of the lowest cost, high impact things you can do to complete your look.

Tweezing and waxing are the most popular methods but I personally prefer threading. Its cheaper and better for the delicate thin skin that surrounds the eyes. Fact: A professional threader told me that threading is the better route because waxing can induce wrinkles around the eye due to the constant pulling.

If you’re in a hurry and can’t get waxed or threaded, then you need glam on the go.

Once a professional has created a brow shape it’s easier for you to maintain it yourself in between visits. All you need is a pair of flat edged tweezers ($5) and a pencil ($3) in a neutral shade (gray or white). Start off by lightly moisturizing the area and tweeze hairs following your shape. To create more definition, take the pencil and with feather light precision, follow under your brow and blend. This gives the illusion of well-defined brows between appointments.

Eye Lashes Do you want full lush lashes but weren’t blessed with them naturally? Well neither was I but you’d never know it. One of my favorite finds is mascara base coat or primer, sold separately or as a duo with regular mascara for $10. A little expensive, but a little goes a long way and it will last you a good while. When used as a base it works in combination with your mascara to create fullness and length you never thought you had. It’s basically white mascara and it’s

applied the exact same way. Make sure your eyes are clean and dry upon application. Take the base and using long even upward stokes, cover lashes and allow it to dry. Take mascara wand and using a zigzag motion, to prevent clumps, start at lash base and go all the way to the tips. Allow it to dry and for added dimension, repeat until desired results are achieved. Tip: Waterproof mascara is great.

It’s smudge proof and of course waterproof but it’s really not good for your lashes. Over time it wears them down and when removing it and can actually pull them out. It’s best to use the non-waterproof kind on the daily, as it’s much gentler on your lashes.

If you’re really looking to make a dramatic statement, false lashes are definitely the way to go. You can get a pair for $5 and the adhesive glue for $4. Both are re-useable.

They’re fun and flirty, perfect for going out and giving your natural lashes a break. To apply, make sure your eyes are clean and dry. Take lash and apply adhesive to the back using a Q-tip (with cotton tip removed) or bottom of tweezers to spread glue evenly.

Follow along lash line as close as possible using tweezers or Q-tip to press and hold firmly in place until glue sets and lashes are secured. You may have to practice a couple times to get them even and just right but the results are well worth it!

Education

Glam Guide Fashion It is important to feel good about ourselves too. And because we want to look great and have energy, here is what we can do:

• Take responsibility for only what you can control;

• Identify the positive in your situation; • Schedule time for yourself, your family Written by: Christian Garate Roldan Fall has already arrived and it is time for a fashion tune up. Fashion is all about you! If you feel healthy and good about yourself, what you put on will look good. During fall the colours of nature change, as well as colours in fashion. And let’s not forget that there are other factors we have to be aware of when we are choosing our clothes. Some factors we should consider while preparing our new wardrobe for the season should be our age, our work setting (office, school, daycare, etc) if we are pregnant or breastfeeding, or even your to do list (where do you have to go or with who do you have to meet).

Because fashion is all about you, you have to take care of yourself. Here are some ideas of what you can do for yourself to maintain that good-looking figure:

• Eat right. Having a healthy balanced diet important for you and your kids to look good and have energy.

• Get Exercise: This is a really good season to get some exercise. It is not too cold or too hot for a walk or for a play date at the playground with your kids.

• Get rest: Sleep, sleep, sleep. If we don’t get enough sleep we are just in automatic mode and your face will tell everybody that you didn’t go to bed on time, not to mention that dark circles under your eyes could spoil your make up.

and time for work; and

• Every day dedicate 30 minutes to an activity you like to do.

If you can put a check mark in most of these healthy tips, then it is time to visit our wardrobe or to hit the mall.

The trendy colours for this fall come in earthy hues like olive, chocolate and stone. And Jewel tones like deep purple, emerald green and ruby red. Black, navy, gray and brown are always dependable, but you could try to add shots of hot colours like red or fuchsia to your mix. Reserve white for blouses during fall.

Fall trends, could be already in you wardrobe, or waiting for you at the mall. You could look for a long sleeve hoody, a stripe long sleeve shirt, or a floral print tee, or a tunic button up shirt, or either a corduroy or striped 3/4sleeve shirt. A v-neck cable knit sweater, zip hoody cardigan, and long sleeve vneck sweater would keep you warm in this changing weather. And you could look sexy with a plaid pleated scooter, or some jeans with the cut that best fit you. Also vest and jackets are needed to go outdoors and have fun.

Now, if you are pregnant that doesn’t mean that you are going to loose your style, you just need to have some basic pregnancy clothes like jeans, pants and tops. You could also add some accessories. Try to wear comfortable clothes most of the time. For fall you can get some wrap dress in black, plum, chocolate,

olive or red. A cotton v-neck maternity Tshirt or a cotton scoop neck maternity tee combined with a few maternity jeans, would make you look sexy. To keep warm a long tie-front cardigan or a one hook maternity sweater would do it.

If you are breastfeeding you don’t have to spend lots of money in breastfeedingfriendly clothes for each season. Button down tops and criss-cross tops would make breastfeeding easier, either you just have to unbutton only what you need or easily pull the top over for easy nursing access.

Now that your kids are back in school, encourage them to have their own style and feel comfortable with the clothes they are wearing. Give them the freedom of choosing their clothes and praise them for their choices.

If they are one to seven-years-old you can say –“ what do you want to wear? Good choice”. If they are in between eight to 13years-old you can say something like, “you look comfortable in that!” Just don’t pressure them to dress the way you want them to.

Now, if you want a hint of the season trends here are some: Girls colours for fall are olive, navy, orange, red and pink. Jeans come with cool denim and fall designs. Jumpers are back and dresses with floral design would make them look cute. A vest, a cardigan, or a faux-fur trimmed hoodie, a pullover knit hoodie, or a rhinestone notch-neck tee would keep her warm, while she is having fun outdoors.

Don’t forget to get some fashionable rain gear like a camouflage raincoat or cuffed rain boots.

Boy’s colours for fall are khaki, navy, olive, brown and red. A quilted puffer vest, plaid flannel shirt and a Knee corduroy pant could be a nice outdoors outfit. To keep the cool look a blue double-sleeve polo shirt with a grey cargo pant or a check shirt with a navy pieced cargo pant would work. And for the cold to come would be nice to have some athletic pullover hoodies, zip-up hoodies or zip-neck sweaters.

Remember fashion is all about you, your health, your self-steem and your life style.

Keep in mind that you can adapt fashion styles to suit you. Dress for comfort and resist trends and fashions that quickly go out of style and don’t forget to add your unique touch. Have fun while you prepare your wardrobe for this season and enjoy yourself.

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FEATURE: FAMILY PLANNING

Family Planning You say that you’re not ready for sex, but you’re in love He says if you’d really loved him, you would give it up Mama says that’s just a line guys use to get ya stuff Which one will you trust? – Lyfe Jennings

I’m a movement by myself, But I’m a force when we’re together.

Mami, I’m good all by myself but baby, You make me better, Besides every great thing You can find a woman like a solider holding it down - Ne-yo

But I’m young and I ain’t ready, and this ain’t easy Wasn’t fair to tell you to wait, so I told you to skate You chose not to, now look at the shit we gotta go through Doin’ a fight, throw in a fuss, you the mother of my baby I don’t want you to hate me, this is about us Rather me; I ain’t ready to be what you want me to be – Jay-Z

I’m over four months and I’m in the doctors office I swear to all that I love that I wanted to leave And wait five more months and birth the child That I conceived but I sat there because I felt I had to and I cry everyday Because I realize boy or girl that I wanted to have you Don’t be made at me How it is is How it had to be and any pain I put you through is all coming back to me – Remy Ma

Knowing you the best part of life, Do I have the right to take yours Cause I created you, irresponsibly Subconsciously knowing the act I was a part of The start of something I’m not ready to bring into the world Had myself believing I was sterile I look into mother’s stomach, Wonder if you are a boy or a girl Turning this woman’s womb into a tomb But she and I agree, a seed we don’t need You would’ve been much more than a mouth to feed But someone, I woulda fed this information I read To someone, my life for you I woulda had to leave Instead I lead you to death, I’m sorry for taking your first breath, First step and first cry But I wasn’t prepared mentally nor financially - Common

Plus she’s having sex with a boy who’s sixteen Emotions run deep and she thinks she’s in love So there’s no protection he’s using no glove Never thinking ‘bout the consequences of her actions Living for today and not tomorrow’s satisfaction The days go by and her belly gets big The father bails out he ain’t ready for a kid - Ludacris 20

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Feature: FAMILY PLANNING

Relationships with an age difference Written by: Ju-lee Kerr The father of my seven-year-old son is 20 years older than me.

I met Marco at Michelangelo’s in Atlanta, Georgia. I was 17 at the time and thought I was immortal and oh, so full of knowledge. Marco was a vibrant guy who acted like a teenager most of the time and that is what attracted me to him. I look back now and see how naïve I was to think that age didn’t matter, at some level there is always that upper hand that an older man has. I’m not trying to suggest that all couples that have a significant age gap between them will breakup, I just wanted to send out an awareness for all the teens out there who are, or are thinking of exploring a relationship with a much older man.

It hadn’t been the first time I messed around with an older man. I was going through some crazy times when I was 16/17 years old, abusing myself with alcohol, drugs, food and meaningless sexual acts. I thought an older man would be smarter, funnier, more grounded and richer than all the youngins I use to date. Not the case with this catch, quite the opposite I must say. Marco seemed even more immature than most of my ex’s which is ironic as I was searching so hard for a mature man.

He couldn’t hold a job and abused himself with all the same vices as I. I was manipulated by the idea that he was older and he knew more than me. This power that he possessed thrilled him and things would get nasty if I chose to rebel. I felt like he was my keeper and I was his slave. His age gave him extra leverage and you could tell he knew how to play it his way, especially the young one that hated her mother and had no where else to go.

He played the Knight in shining armour, rescued me from the Dungeon and placed me in one of his own. I figured any other place would be better than my mothers’ home. He demanded control over all the finances, not that there was much. He forced sex upon me when I clearly was not consenting. He pushed me, restrained me and changed my name to Bitch. He told me to kill my baby. That is when I grew a spine, held my head high and left him forever!

It was a brief five months that changed my life forever. A child was conceived not out of love, but in the name of love. It was my search for love that had gotten me into such a rut and even though I had to struggle to find it, it came to me as a tiny baby.

Now I’m certain men of all ages abuse their control and vica versa, but I still sense that having that extra notch of power can make a huge difference. I still think Marco would have been a creep even if we both were the same age, he just wouldn’t have had so much more practice than me. We all know practice makes perfect.

The generation gap can be expressed in terms of time and space but also life experience.

Teenage years can be a confusing time of life as you’re learning how to be a responsible and productive person in this world. A lot of us feel as though our parents will never understand why we do the things we do, hell most of us will never understand why we do the things we do but we do them anyway in the name of fear, love, acceptance, revenge, confusion...

Being in a relationship with a much older man brings up some generational gap issues. The older man has 15 - 20 years of life experience compared to you. A huge advantage on his part especially if you are in the process of trying to figure out your place in this world. This gap not only effects both of your ideas, expectations and beliefs but it interferes with simple things like taste in music, clothes and activities.

Why are men going for much younger women?

Because they can! There is nothing like a brand new toy with a tight butt and perky breasts. With today’s lifestyle that is comfortable and rewarding, guys are prolonging the start of a family. Men are able to have babies for a lot longer than women. Younger, more fertile ladies are searching for the father of their unborn babies, and wanting to multiply (or at least experience the love, closeness and affection that comes along with multiplying) and finding it with an older man who is only now ready for such an assignment.

What happens when he gets sick? Your man is going to get old and possibly terminally ill before you do. Meaning you will be the one taking care of him, look into the future and see if you would give up your 40’s taking care of your husband.

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Feature: FAMILY PLANNING

And then there were 2

Written by: Vanessa Young, ECE You’re not the only one who needs to be mentally and emotional ready to have another baby, your older child needs preparation too. The transition from being an only child to becoming an older brother or sister does not come easy for some children. Although you can never guarantee what your child’s reaction may be once the baby is born, there are a few ways to ease the transition for your child and prepare them for their new sibling.

Ways to prepare your child: • Get your child involved in the pregnancy; remember the whole family is having a baby.

• Take your child to one of your doctor’s appointments, they will be fascinated with the sound of the baby’s heart beat and the pictures from the ultra sound.

• Invite your child to feel the baby kick and move.

• Have your child pick out their favourite story and read it to both your older child and the baby.

• Talk about what it will be like when the baby is born.

• Read stories to your child, about

becoming a new big brother or sister and have a discussion after the book about how the character in the book felt. This will open the lines of communication between you and your child about the new baby.

• Address any concerns that your child has.

• If it’s possible try to make an

arrangement to visit friends or family members with a new baby.

• Have your child talk with other children who have younger brothers or sisters.

• You can give your child their own baby (doll) to practise being a big brother or big sister.

baby’s development- See What’s

Happenin’ In My Belly for a week by week calendar of prenatal growth.

• Tell your child stories about when they were in your womb and what they were like when they were first born.

• Ask your child for advise on making “important decisions” like what kind of bottle/ blanket/ sleepers etc. do you think your baby brother or sister would like?

• Remind your child that even though the new baby will need lots of your attention, you still love them.

Parents: • You should be the one to inform your child about your pregnancy, don’t wait until someone else tells your child.

• Before the baby is born try to get your child involved in a siblings program, most hospitals offer hospital tours for new siblings FREE OF CHARGE!!!! Contact your local hospital for more information.

• Make sure your child knows whose going to take care of him or her, when you go into labour. If your child is visiting you when you’re in the hospital, take your time to greet your child and talk to them before you introduce them to their new sibling (unless your child is really excited about being a big brother or sister.)

• Your new baby will be receiving a lot of new presents, this can be very difficult for your little one. One way to make this easier on your older child is to buy a few gifts and keep them hidden until your new baby receives a gift. You can then take one of your gifts out and give it to your older child as a gift from the baby.

• After the new baby is born, try to set aside a special time everyday to spend quality time with your older child.

• Don’t force your older child to like the new baby, some children may feel resentment, jealousy or aggression • If your older child needs to make a towards the new baby, because they think change in their regular routine, try to do the baby is taking up a lot of your attention. it well before the baby is born, i.e. change If your child shows aggression towards the bedrooms, move from a crib to a toddle new baby, stop the behaviour immediately bed etc. This way they won’t associate the explain to your child that the behaviour big change with the baby. is unacceptable and give your child another outlet to express their feelings; • You can talk to your child about the drawing, talking, squishing playdough etc.

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• Your child may regress once the new baby is born, they may want to drink from a bottle, sleep in a crib etc, this is completely normal behaviour. You can support your child through this phase by playing along as your child pretends to be a baby, but remind your child the benefits of being a big kid. Before you know it your child will get tired of being a baby and they will embrace their role as a big brother or sister.

• Explain to your child that there are many benefits to being an older child, such as your first born is able to do all kinds of fun activities that the baby isn’t able to do yet. Eg: ride a bike, play sports, swing on the swings etc.

• You can ask your child for assistance with the baby, but don’t force them to help out if they don’t want to.

• Remind your guests when they visit, that they should give your older child attention too. Sometimes adults get carried away with the new baby and ‘forget’ about the older child, which can lead to aggression, hurt feelings and unwanted behaviours.

Although making the transition from one child to two children, can be difficult in the beginning, with a bit of patience and dash of love you and your children will create memories and relationships that will last a life time.

Children’s books: • I’m a big sister or I’m a big brother, Joanna Cole • There’s a brand-new baby at our house, I’m the big brother, There’s a brand-new baby at our house, I’m the big sister, Susan Ligon • Spot’s baby sister, Eric Hill • 101 things to do with a baby, Jan Ormerod • Will there be a lap for me? Dorothy Cory • Being Born, Sheila Kitzinger and Lennart Nilsson

Feature: FAMILY PLANNING

The Morning After Pill: Advice and Information

Emergency (Ambulance-Fire-Police) 911

By: Candace Lue Emergency contraceptives (E.C’s) such as Plan B provide women a helpful method in the prevention of an unplanned pregnancy when other forms of protection have failed (i.e. ruptured condom etc.) or when no protection was used during sexual intercourse. Although this drug looks like a dream come true for many women who may have slipped in their regular use of birth control pills or maybe forgot to use a condom there are a few concerns one should look into in regards to how they work and if one’s use of it goes against their personal or religious beliefs.

E.C’s also known as the ‘Morning After Pill’ is an hormonal form of birth control (like a birth control pill but in a higher dosage) where if taken after sex helps in preventing pregnancy. It is best effective when taken no more than 72 hours after unprotected sex.

However, it could still be used up to 5 days afterward. It is taken in two doses which are 12 hours apart and reduces the risk of pregnancy after unprotected sex by 75 to 85 per cent, the sooner this medication is taken the more successful the results. Side effects include nausea, abdominal pain, fatigue, headache, dizziness, and breast tenderness.

These side effects normally subside by 24 hours, however in the rare case they do not, it is important to consult with your doctor as soon as possible. Users of this type of contraceptive should seek a pregnancy test if they do not experience their period after 21 days.

Plan B which is commonly known and found in pharmacies in Ontario has been the more effective form of E.C available, being cited to have less side effects than previous E.C’s. E.C’s are not to be confused with abortifacients (i.e mifepristone) which can eliminate already established pregnancies.

Evidence strongly shows that it is a contraceptive, rather than an abortifacient; meaning it can stop ovulation and may prevent fertilization, or implantation.

E.C’s medically have been shown that it cannot stop or harm already established pregnancies.

Important Phone Numbers

Directory Assistance 0 or 411 Community & Government Services Information 211 Other misconceptions of this form of birth control are that it can cause health problems down the road and have an effect on one’s fertility. The use of this drug is relatively safe has not been found to have any effect on one’s fertility or health. It is now available all across Ontario over the counter without a prescription. In the new Ontario guidelines for pharmacists it is written that they should “seek information from the patient only as necessary to clarify the appropriateness of providing Plan B, keeping in mind the patient’s right to remain anonymous and to decline responding to personally sensitive questions.” There is no age limit or need for parental consent to get the pill and its cost can vary from $25 to $50. However, it can also be attained at a lower cost or in some cases free from the Planned Parenthood of Toronto and some other sexual health clinics across the GTA .

Emergency contraceptives cannot prevent STD’s and one should always seek professional advice and do their own research before using any type of drug such as Plan B. For more information below are websites on E.C information and the address of Planned Parenthood of Toronto.

Birth Control Info www.ppt.on.ca/resources.html www.go2planb.com Planned Parenthood of Toronto 36 B Prince Arthur Avenue Toronto, ON M5R 1A9 Phone: 416-961-0113

Tele-Health Ontario 1-866-797-0000 Poison Control Centre 416-813-5900 Children’s Aid Society of Toronto 416-924-4646 Catholic Children’s Aid Society (CCAS) 416-395-1500 Native Child & Family Services 416-969-8510 Jewish Family & Child Services 416-638-7800 Toronto Public Health 416-338-7600 Legal Aid 416-598-0200 Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 Child Support Guidelines 1-888-373-2222 Witness Advice Line 1-888-448-6667

Fax: 416-961-2512 Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

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Feature: FAMILY PLANNING

CHOOSING THE PERFECT PET FOR YOUR FAMILY Written by: Trinity Abbott We had many different pets come through my house when I was a kid but I’ll never forget my first one. She was a brown, black and white cat named Calico. I was about seven when we got her and growing up with three older brothers I felt she was my new best friend.

We spent hours together playing. I would put her in my dolly crib and give her a pretend bottle. I would push her around in a stroller. Bless her heart she put up with a lot from me.

As I got older and I started having fights with my girlfriends or I was upset about how unfair my parents were, I would lock myself up in my room with Calico and cry to her about the injustices of the world. Again bless her heart.

Years later I sit in my own house with my children and we’re having a family discussion about having a pet. As we try to decide which pet to choose I realize this is harder then I thought. There are different factors you have to consider. The two main things are how much time do you have to devote to this pet and are there any allergies to anyone in the family. The second is simple enough. Two ways of determining this are to make an appointment at your doctor’s office and discuss the methods of being tested for an allergy. Or you can bring your children around either a dog or cat for an extended time and see how they react. I would suggest bringing them around both a short hair animal and long hair because some people might be allergic to one and not the other.

To decide how much time you want to devote to this animal is important. If you live a rather hectic life then fish might be an option however you must know that their life span is not as long and then you have to find a way to explain how the fish died and where it goes. Other small pets are hamsters, birds and ferrets. The next step up would be a cat. They require a little bit more attention with changing cat litter boxes.

However it is advised that pregnant women do not change a litter box because there is something in the cat’s dirty litter that can cause brain damage to the fetus. A dog is obviously a very time consuming animal for they need regular walks daily and trips out to go the washroom however they can be great guards for the house.

So after taking all these things into consideration I hope you choose the right pet, and always remember that whatever pet you choose they will become a part of your family.

What’s happening in my belly?

By Vanessa Young, ECE First Trimester Conception to 4 weeks

Within hours of the egg and sperm uniting your baby’s sex, eye colour and the texture of your babies hair has been decided. Your baby is smaller than 1/10th of an inch long, and is developing the beginnings of a spinal cord, nervous system, gastro-intestinal system, heart, and lungs.

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5 weeks to 8 weeks At around week six, your baby’s heart will be the size of a poppy seed and it will be already beating.

Your baby will be approximately 1 inch long and their facial features have begun to form. The baby has transparent skin, fingers and toes that are somewhat webbed, and their genitals have begun to form. REMINDER: proper prenatal care is essential for both you and your unborn child. Once you find out you’re pregnant, you should make a doctor’s appointment and start taking prenatal vitamins.

Feature: FAMILY PLANNING What’s happening in my belly continued

9 weeks to 12 weeks Be careful of what you say! Around 10 weeks your little one’s ears are formed well enough to hear you.

At 12 weeks your baby will be about 3 inches long and weigh about 1 ounce. He/she can move their fingers, arms, toes, and legs.

They can smile, frown, and urinate.

17 weeks to 20 weeks Your baby will be about 10- 12 inches in length and weigh about ½ lbs- 1 lbs. His or her movement are coordinated, so all his/her kicks, rolls, stretches and jabs are thought out and controlled. Your baby’s sex can be detected though an ultrasound.

Third Trimester (Begins at 28 weeks) 29 weeks to 32 weeks Your baby will be approximately 16 ½ -18 inches in length and weigh about 4-5 lbs. He or she will seem less active, as there is less space to move around.

21 weeks to 24 weeks Your baby’s sense of touch has developed.

He/she will be about 11- 14 inches in length and weigh around 1- 1 ½ lbs. Your baby can open its eyes and swallow (your baby will practise swallowing amniotic fluid which is filled with nutrients.) Loud noises can startle your baby, which can cause their hearts to race, their arms to flail and be restless for hours.

You will also notice times when he or she is asleep and times when he or she is awake.

Some babies will assume the birthing position at this time. FACT: Your baby will gain about half a pound a week from now until the day his born.

33 weeks to 36 weeks Your baby will be approximately 20 inches in length and about 6 lbs. He or she will be bulking up for his or her big arrival into this world, which will help regulate body temperature outside the womb. The baby will also be gaining some of mom’s immunities, which will help fight off illnesses.

Second Trimester 13 week to 16 weeks Your baby will weigh about 4 ounces and be around 5 ½ inches in length. The baby’s fingernails and toenails are forming and they have begun to grow hair on their head and eyebrows.

25 weeks to 28 weeks You baby will weigh approximately 2 ½ - 3 lbs and be about 14- 17 inches long.

He or she will be very active inside your womb and able to suck its thumb, which strengthens the baby’s cheeks and jaw. You may begin to experience Braxton Hicks contractions, which are practise contractions that prepare your uterus for labour.

37 weeks to 41 weeks Your baby will weigh about 7 ½ lbs now and will be 21 ½ inches in length. He or she has assumed the birthing position and is just waiting for the right moment to be born.

Only 5 per cent of babies are actually born on their due date, and you’re not technically considered over due until your two weeks past your due date.

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Feature: FAMILY PLANNING

Adoption Facts Written by: Christina Gallo You’ve just found out from your doctor that you are pregnant. There are some serious decisions that you need to make about your future. You may want to keep the baby or you may be considering abortion. You may also be thinking about giving your child up for adoption, but you’re undecided. At the end of the day the choice is up to you. This article is intended to explore the adoption as an option. There are two ways you can go about having your child adopted. The first option is going through the Children’s Aid Society.

At the CAS you will be introduced to a social worker who you can speak to openly and he/she will provide all of the information you need. After talking with the social worker you may decide that you want to go through with the process or not, or you could still be undecided. If you want to have your child put into foster care while you assess all of your choices that is an option too. Take as much time as you need, remember this is your decision.

You may feel that CAS is not right for you and you want to try the second option, private adoption. Private adoption is arranged by a person or agency that must be licensed by the Ministry of Ontario.

They will also have someone for you to talk to and provide you with information.

The private workers will work with you in finding a home for your baby. To make sure that your baby will have a loving family and a good home, a home study must be completed on the family who wants to adopt. A home study is a number of interviews between a ministry approved home study social worker and the family who wants to adopt. The worker gets to know the parents and must be comfortable with their ability to bring up a child in a good and loving home. Workers also make sure that the adoptive parents are healthy, emotionally stable and earn enough money to support a family.

I recently had the opportunity to speak with a woman who was adopted, Denice GrantSmith. Denice told me “it was normal growing up adopted, it was never 26

Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

a big deal. I always felt special, but not different from the other kids. I always knew I was adopted and it was cool and a non-issue.” Denice shared with me that if there is one thing she could say to her birth mother it would be thank you! “I thank my birth mother each day for giving me life and for making the decision to place me with such a wonderful family.” I asked if Denice was ever angry at her birth mother. She replied “I have never had any animosity for the decision my birth mother made. In fact, I believe that she is a great mother because she was able to recognize that at that time, she was not in a situation where she could provide the best home for me so she made the selfless decision to give me the gift of a family who could.”

She also feels “doubly blessed to have two mothers.” Denice views adoption as a win-win situation. Adoption is a choice and if chosen, it benefits both the birth mother and the child. The birth mother gets the opportunity to go to school, work, establish herself and she can choose the family that her child will be a part of. The child grows up in a secure, loving environment with access to good opportunities.

If you decide to choose adoption for your child, you need to give consent. Consent of the parent happens when the parent signs permission to the adoption. The baby must be at least seven days old to be considered for adoption. After the baby is a week old, you may choose to give your child up for adoption at any time. The person who is arranging the adoption of your child must give you a chance to have your own legal advice and counseling before you sign the consent. The consent must be signed in the presence of a lawyer and you will get a copy of the consent for your records. If the baby’s father has declared that he is the father and has helped support you, or if he is living with you, he should sign the consent as well. After signing the consent, you have 21 days in which you can change your mind and have the consent cancelled. If you have changed your mind about the adoption after the 21 days and your child

has already been placed in the adoptive parent’s home, you cannot take back your consent. However, if the child has not yet been placed, you can plea before a judge, who will determine what is best for the child.

With both private and Children’s Aid adoption, you are able to participate in choosing the family for your child. You have a significant say in which family adopts your child given that the family meets the needs of the child. You can also negotiate different types of contact with your child if you like. There is no cost to you for the adoption process. If you want to learn more about adoption, please visit an adoption social worker or the Ontario Ministry of Children and Youth Services website at http://www.children.gov.on.ca/ mcys/english/programs/child/adoption/ index.asp Portions of information were taken from the Ontario Ministry of Children and Youth Services website.

Feature: FAMILY PLANNING

Abortion Facts Written by: Jessica Khan When making the decision of whether to keep or terminate a pregnancy it’s never easy to say the very least, there is a lot of information that you should know and take into consideration. I was recently asked to research the risks, myths, and facts surrounding abortion for this month’s family planning edition of Yo Mama. Among the resources I used including independent research I also sat down with a public health nurse to get a professional’s opinion and the facts behind abortion to help you make an educated, well-informed choice. After all, we are living in a country where abortion is a legal option and has been for years in fact about 20,000 teenagers undergo this procedure a year. Canada is a democratic society where everyone has freedom of choice, which includes our bodies, and we need to accept and respect the decisions of others even though we may not always necessarily agree. Being put in this situation myself and now having my 8-yearold son I know, first hand the difficulties and hardships that go behind making such a life altering decision. I just want to say that I fully support everyone’s right to freedom of choice- whatever the choice may be.

What is an abortion?

An abortion is the termination of a pregnancy. Also referred to as a therapeutic abortion, this is a medically induced procedure in which the embryo is removed or expelled from the woman’s uterus.

What is the cut off point?

An abortion should take place as early into the pregnancy as possible because they are safest then. In Canadian hospitals abortions are performed up to 12 - 13 weeks. In our many freestanding clinics (independent clinics not in hospitals) they are performed up to 20 weeks.

What is the cost of abortion/consent laws?

Abortions in Ontario hospitals and most freestanding clinics are free as long as you are covered by the Ontario Health Insurance Plan (OHIP).

However, some doctors and private clinics do charge a monetary fee. In British Columbia, New Foundland and Alberta there are free facilities but this varies with each province. In some provinces you are expected to pay some part of the cost.

In Ontario and B.C teenagers are considered able to consent to an abortion as long as it’s understood that she knows what she is doing, though it is encouraged to tell a parent/responsible adult. The consent age in hospitals vary but in most freestanding clinics parental consent is not a necessity. Hospitals, clinics, and health insurance plans are obligated by law to keep medical records confidential.

What takes place during an abortion?

Your stomach must be empty for surgery, most physicians tell you that starting at mid-night the night before not to eat any solid foods.

Depending on how far along you are and where your procedure takes place a Lamineria may be inserted into your vagina prior to surgery.

Also known as a tent, a Lamineria is a match-sized piece of dry seaweed that expands like a tampon to open the cervix. During a surgical abortion the women is placed on an examining table so that the doctor can find her cervix, the opening to the uterus. Again, depending on where you have the procedure you may be given a local anesthetic to freeze the cervix or a general anesthetic, which temporarily makes you unconscious. Generally, hospitals put you to sleep while freestanding

clinics allow you to be awake. The doctor gradually opens the cervix and inserts a small tube, which gently suctions out the contents of the uterus. Normally the procedure takes approximately 10-12 minutes.

What to expect: During your procedure anesthetics are used for pain control, after most women report having strong period like cramps which should decrease, after a few days. Doctors may also prescribe Tylenol or Advil to help you cope with any additional post- abortion pain, you may also be given an antibiotic post-operatively but this really depends on each individual situation and is treated accordingly. Quite recently the distribution of a pill to help safe guard for future pregnancy has also been dispensed. The anesthetic used during the procedure may make you feel groggy and/or nauseous, you are usually required to stay for up to an hour after your procedure so that the doctor/nurse can monitor your progress. In most cases you are also expected to have someone accompany you home. You may also have some vaginal bleeding which can last up to two weeks following but this varies from person to person. The amount of bleeding should gradually decrease within the first five days it may be at first as heavy as a regular period. Your next period should arrive within 4-6 weeks after your procedure however it may or may not be equivalent to your normal period minor changes are not unusual. Your body will take time to deplete the hormones that are caused during pregnancy therefore some symptoms are quicker to go than others like nausea while things like breast tenderness or leakage of cholestrum may take longer.

What to do: The Precautions You Should Take After you are discharged from the hospital or clinic there are general guidelines you should follow; you may eat or drink anything you like after the abortion, and resume your normal activities the next day but you should let your body be your guide. For the first few day’s you should not do any heavy lifting, exercise or strenuous activity. Also drinking alcohol or drug use after surgery (unless indicated other wise by practitioner) can increase the effect of the anesthetic. You may start birth control after your operation or the following Sunday as instructed by the clinic or family doctor. For four weeks after your procedure it is imperative not to contaminate the womb or infection can start.

You Should Not: • Use tampons, as an alternate use cotton top pads.

• Have a bath, take showers instead.

• Have sexual intercourse or any other vaginal penetration.

• Do not douche or wash out the vagina.

• Do not swim, sit in hot tubs or Jacuzzis.

Warning Signs: Call your doctor or go to the nearest hospital if you experience any of the following: • Chills or a temperature over 100 degrees F or 37.8 degrees C • Vaginal bleeding or cramping worst then the heaviest day of your normal period soaking more than a pad an hour • Severe persisting abdominal pain • Unusual or foul smelling vaginal discharge • Pieces of blood larger than a quarter or blood clots from your vagina • Burning sensation while urinating Risks: People seem to have many misconceptions regarding the safety surrounding abortions. One thing consistently pointed out during my research was that abortions are in fact safe. They are now one of the safest procedures you can have. I was told that there are more Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

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Feature: FAMILY PLANNING

A different kind of family Written by: Trinity Abbott

risks associated with a full term pregnancy and delivery than having an abortion. There are also many myths about conceiving in the future after the termination of a pregnancy but studies show that the earlier the abortion the lower the risk of any complications. An abortion is a minor surgical procedure done under sterile conditions, women who have an abortion are just as likely as women in general to get pregnant and give birth to a healthy baby in the future.

One more reason it is so important to take all precautions, follow the instructions given to you and take care of yourself. It is also instrumental to your health and well being to go for a post-abortion check-up 3-4 weeks after your surgery as instructed by your doctor to ensure everything physically and emotionally is healing as it should.

Your Emotions: I left this part for last because it is a very sensitive area that I believe is completely individual. When a person decides to have an abortion it’s hard to imagine how or what they feel. In a few short hours your life becomes forever changed and no pamphlet, doctor, or nurse can tell you how you may feel in the aftermath. For the most part research on post-abortion emotion indicates that most women feel relief and are satisfied that they have made the right decision because being pregnant at that time was wrong for them and they cope very well. Personally I don’t think that is always the case for everyone, especially when your dealing with teenagers/teen moms who have complicating factors, their choice becomes greatly influenced by circumstance. When writing this portion I spoke with many people I know who have had an abortion, a person can experience a wide range of emotion from sadness, guilt, anger, loss, shame and grief but for the most part their feelings are manageable. In the end they feel they made the best decision they knew how to at the time.

We all make choices in our lives that provoke guilt and sad feelings the most important thing is to heal and cope with whatever you are feeling and have a good support system set-up, and if you don’t build one with a counselor or people you can trust. This can be key to helping you recover, gain perspective, and ultimately overcome, to learn which is what a life changing experience is about.

Keep in mind your feelings are your feelings and you are entitled to them. Remember no one has the right to judge you or your decision.

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Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

If you look in through the window you’ll see them just sitting down at the kitchen table to eat dinner. Mom, dad and their three children, all take turns sharing their events of the day. She, the youngest who has spent the day with her mother has nothing to say but listens intently to everyone.

Now it’s the holidays and we’re looking in through the big bay window. It’s thanksgiving and the house is full of relatives. The men are watching the football game in the living room. The teenagers are outside playing street hockey. The women, of course, are in the kitchen sipping their wine while cooking and gossiping. The house is full of aromas of herbs and spices. She slips in and out of each room completely unnoticed but noticing everything.

She is me, and while I grew up I took in everything about my family.

Everyone always seemed so happy and my childhood was full of love and compassion. Over the years I watched my mother and her sisters do everything together from me and my cousins in the same activities and summer camps together to confiding and supporting each other. I also learned that it was my grandmother who was the head of the family and the glue that kept us together.

Ah… but that was a long time ago and things are much different now that I’m a mother. My two children and I are a different kind of family and it took me a long time to accept that it’s ok to be different. In fact it’s almost normal now. There are no grandparents spoiling them rotten, there is no father figure and our house is pretty empty during the holiday season.

To be honest I was doing just fine until the other night. It all started after the kids actually got to bed early and amazingly enough I did not pass out with them. I sat down to enjoy a chick flick, Because I Said So starring Diane Keaton and Mandy Moore. It was the typical movie about an overprotective, controlling and obsessive mother raising three grown daughters on her own.

She drove her daughters absolutely crazy while she planned out their lives according to her own dreams and wishes. Sound familiar I’m sure but by the end of the movie I had gone through a full box of tissue while most woman were probably rolling their eyes and smirking being able to relate to the daughters in the movie. So what about this movie made me so emotional? It suddenly dawned on me that no matter what, they (my parents) weren’t ever going to drive me crazy again. I know, did I just say that and mean it?

I did some soul searching and realized that this was it. In the middle of the night when my child gets sick I would not be able to pick up the phone and hear my mother’s reassuring voice on the other end. That when the kids and life were getting to me I couldn’t just pack up the kids and run to their house and rush into her arms. When I need a break I wouldn’t be able to drop the kids off and feel completely good knowing they were in good hands. Believe it or not I would give anything for my mother to be lecturing me about how my parenting is all wrong and where am I going in life exactly? So the next time your parents are making you pull your hair out just remember that when you need them the most they are there for you, because one day they won’t be there at all.

Feature: FAMILY PLANNING

Moving In With Your Man Written by Andi Hui Moving in with your man… Sounds like the solution to all your problems huh? It means more time you get to spend with your man, no more nagging parents, no more having to ask for permission and well just being to do whatever you want! What a life! I just want to give you guys a little insight on what to expect when making this huge decision.

Yes, moving out sounds like a great idea but you really need to put a lot of thought into this decision. Personally I wish I had given the decision more thought. Moving in with your partner isn’t all fun and games, it’s not just having your toothbrush and clothes at the same place either. Moving in with each other means that both of you are going to have to adjust your living routines to having another person around all the time. I didn’t realize that living with someone could lead to so many compromises. Of course there are pros and cons, hopefully this will help you decide whether moving out is right for you!

When making the decision to move in with someone we need to be very realistic. We need to look at things like how they really are, not what we want them to be. These are some that you may want to give some thought to.

1. Where will you be living?

2. Financial Issues. Who will be paying the bills?

3. Setting ground rules.

4. How will disagreements be managed?

5. What happens if the relationship doesn’t work out?

1. Where will you be living?

Where you will be living is probably one of the most important things to figure out.

There are different options that you have to choose from: • you can move in with your partner • he/she could move in with you • you could find a brand new place All options work but there are things that you need to consider when choosing which is right for you.

If you choose to move into a place where one of you already lives you will need to discuss whether or not the person moving in will be put on the lease. Letting the landlord know that someone else is moving in

If you choose to find a new place you should have both parties be involved in the decision. After you have found a place that you are interested in, the next step would be to call the landlord to schedule a viewing.

If all goes well and you both like the apartment/house you will usually be required to put down a deposit. Then you will be asked to sign a lease and the landlord will let you know when the remaining amount of rent is due. Usually first and last months rent is required when you first move in.

2. Financial Issues. Who will be paying the bills?

A lot of couples forget to address this issue before they move in together even though it’s probably one of the most important.

Nothing could hurt a relationship more than arguing about money, so its just better for both of you to have this all agreed upon before the big day!

You will both need to discuss how the rent/mortgage will be paid, whether the two of you will be splitting it equally or whether it will be based upon how much each person makes. You should also try to get to know each others spending habits, what each others ideas on saving are. Other things that will need to be decided upon are the different household bills such as hydro, telephone, cable, internet, food, toiletries, and just other day to day expenses. You may also want to discuss whose name the bills are going to be under.

Something that you guys may consider doing is having a joint account that both of you contribute money to that will specifically be used to pay the rent/mortgage and bills. However it is still a good idea to have your own personal finances separate from your partners. Just to be safe that is, there have been too many stories of people joining their credit cards, debts and bank accounts and then getting burned.

3. Setting ground rules.

Rules are important so that both of you know each others boundaries and expectations and prevent any unwanted arguments. It will just save you both a lot of trouble.

Here are a few basic ground rules:

• if your going to be coming in late will you need to call and let them know • will each of you be doing separate laundry • what are each of your feelings on pets These may seem silly but arguments do arise from some of the dumbest things. So make sure you talk about EVERYTHING, nothing is too small to discuss!

4. How will disagreements be managed?

Everyone deals with problems in a different way and it’s a good idea to have a strategy on how to deal with them when they arise.

Everything that we have talked about so far is to help prevent these disagreements but of course arguing is inevitable.

• a good way to solve a problem is to talk it over but make sure you are both talking about the problem at hand and not bringing up past disagreements.

• Do not use degrading remarks and name- calling, all it does is make your partner get defensive and more angry.

• take responsibility for your part of the fight, don’t blame your partner for causing it all because it does takes two to tango.

• speak for yourself and say what you believe, don’t try to make your point stronger by bringing other peoples opinions into your argument.

• make a “time-out” signal that you can both use when you feel like the fight is getting out of hand.

5. What happens if things don’t work out?

We don’t want to think about it but it is a reality and discussing isn’t going to increase the chance of it happening. It will just give both of you some mental ease if you know what to do if this does happens.

Some topics that you may want to talk about: • who will be staying at the apartment/house • is it possible to terminate your lease early • what will happen to stuff that you both bought together • who will be responsible for closing joint bank accounts Starting a life with someone is may be one of the most enjoyable experiences of your life.

It is a lot of work and it’s not something that you should rush into. But if you are ready then go for it!

• make a chore and cooking schedule Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

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Feature: FAMILY PLANNING

Why I chose to have an abortion

Written by: Name Withheld I still remember that cold January winter’s day as clear as ever. I was 16 and sitting in the doctor’s office wanting to break down. I should have known the symptoms; extreme fatigue, nausea and tender breasts, yep I was pregnant.

What makes the situation ironic is that at the tender age of 16 I was still nursing my 22 month-old baby. My heart sunk, what was I to do, I should have known better. But I thought I was being responsible, I was on birth control and had only ever been with my child’s father.

I was very scared and apparently vary naïve. Long story short I was on Depo (the birth control needle) when one day I started to bleed uncontrollably. The doctor I was seeing put me on an antibiotic to help stop it. He thought I could be miscarrying due to the amount and intensity, but when he ran the pregnancy test it came back negative (traces of the hormone that tells doctors if you are pregnant stay in your blood even if you are miscarrying). So what was the cause of my mysterious condition? I was having a reaction to the birth control shot and was ordered off of it immediately. When I asked what to do for birth control once the irregular bleeding had stopped, I was told that until all the traces of Depo were out of my system I’d be covered for at least another month and to start the pill once a regular period had resumed. That’s how I wound up in the doctor’s office and in one of the hardest predicaments, a woman could ever have to face.

Looking back, my child’s father and I were in serious denial. Honestly I didn’t want to be pregnant though in my heart I didn’t need a test to tell me that I was. What complicated matters more is that I had just become stable for the first time, really, in my life. I just started back school and moved into my new two bedroom subsidized apartment and had gone through hell to get there.

By the time I mustered up the courage and convinced my child’s father that I needed to take a pregnancy test I was two months and didn’t have a lot of time to make such a life changing decision. He made it painfully clear, if I kept this baby he was gone. And why wouldn’t it be that simple it wasn’t his body or emotions that had to endure this ‘procedure’ after all. He was much older and had been through ‘this’ before. Me, I was in love, in love with my son, foolishly with his father and with the thought of this innocent baby, growing inside of me, the idea of having this family. But on the other hand I was also realistic. I was just 16 and already had a baby that was here, who needed me, depended on me and whose quality of life would be severely sacrificed in every way possible if I chose to keep this child. And did I really want to bring another child into an unstable relationship with a man who threatened to abandon his first? A selfish coward with no conscience or regard for my body or feelings I was torn inside.

I was so ashamed that I told no one, I had no support, no shoulder to cry on. I was in spiritual warfare with god, my morals and myself.

And the sad part, the only person who heard and felt my unbearable pain was this unborn baby that didn’t ask for or deserve any of this.

That as much as I loved felt forced to let go it took everything in me to do the unthinkable and go against everything I believed in, have an abortion.

My surgery was scheduled for February just before Valentines Day and my son’s second birthday what wonderful timing. I didn’t sleep at all the night before but there I was that bitter winter’s morning 30

Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

bright and early, exhausted, scared, sick to my stomach and getting my tent inserted (a tent is dry seaweed that expands to open the cervix commonly used when having an abortion). There I sat for what felt like hours in a room full of women who seemed emotionless, in silence. I had so much going thorough my head, so much I wanted to say and so much I felt but yet I just sat there lost inside my head, overwhelmed in sorrow. When I thought about what we were all there to do, numbered and prepped like lab mice awaiting our fate, the tears came steaming down my face and just like that the awkward silence was broken. Many of them cried with me. Left for last, my turn had come. I looked down and touched my stomach silently saying goodbye and cried. That’s all I could do for this injustice as I was walked down the hall, put on the table and put to sleep, is cry.

When I awoke I was groggy and felt like I was recovering from being hit by a car. My face was puffy and swollen from crying and the cold hard reality started to set in. I felt vacant, resentful, and violated but with no money in my pocket my son’s father and I set out for the two-hour frigid journey home by bus in a comatose silence. If I failed to mention him being there it was because I felt alone and a part of me believed that the only reason he came was to make sure I went through with it because he knew my heart was full of doubt, not for any moral support. When I finally did get home I collapsed onto my bed from exhaustion. It wasn’t until the next morning that I remember him leaving for work. I guess he had done his part leaving me to just ‘deal’ with my feelings and our child alone.

My spirit was in desperate need of repair. I was not okay, all I could do is cry, and that’s all I did for weeks after until I was all cried out that’s how I coped. I was young and uneducated on the situation and if I had known what I do now, I would have sought out help instead of battling my demons alone. I begged and pleaded with God to forgive me and my selfish sin. My heart was so heavy with remorse and anxiety. Ultimately it lead me to have so much resentment against my child’s father that I eventually left our toxic relationship but by the end I was disgusted with him and I hated him for bullying me. Ending my relationship was something that would have happened inevitably but with my head in such a state and considering he was all I knew my thinking and timing were pretty irrational.

Our break-up only lead me down an unhealthy path of self-destruction and feeling sorry for myself, drinking, smoking and partying. I was like a preacher’s daughter rebelling against her father, but with no father, I rebelled against him. Realizing this destructive behavior wasn’t easing my pain and that the only person I was hurting was myself and the child that was here, I was left to deal with the consequences of my actions no one else.

Through time and self-refection I came to terms on what I did wrong and acknowledging my choices put me back in control. Blaming others is easy and in the end only backfires on the person doing the blaming I took accountability for having the ultimate say. It took me a very long time to forgive ‘him’ and myself and move forward from tragedies regain my dignity and love myself again. All this took work, time and even counseling but as a person I have definitely learned and grown. Telling this story still brings me to tears but I share it in hopes that others gain perspective and learn from my mistakes. It is okay to cry, to need help and get it you don’t have to cope alone or in shame you can rebuild yourself, and the best part about rebuilding is the chance you get, to start over.

Feature: FAMILY PLANNING

My Daughter WAS with C.A.S We went back to court in June of 2005, and the judge was appalled at how long they had my child in care, and for no reason whatsoever.

Written by: Name Withheld Reflecting back I remember it as if it was just yesterday, when I placed my daughter into foster care. She was only three months then. Several months went by and she was still there. Eventually she had been in three different homes and moved five different times Originally when I first had my daughter I was feeling overwhelmed with Post Partum Depression and other issues, so I took the initiative to get some help and some counseling. I called the C.A.S. to get some help with my daughter and they gladly offered their assistance. So on December 17th 2004 I signed a Temporary Care Agreement (T.C.A) and placed my three-month-old child into care. A lot of people told me how courageous I was for doing this, because not a lot of mothers have the guts to ask for such help.

January came and I was ready for my child to come back. I was enrolled in school, had daycare for my daughter and completed all the counciling that I wanted. So here I was making the call to terminate the T.C.A. and get my child back, but to my surprise I was told that I couldn’t. Originally before I signed the Temporary Care Agreement I was told that I could terminate it at any time, but now there was a problem, some reoccurring eczema that she had on her cheek since she was two-months-old has now been identified by the Children’s Aid Society as an ‘abrasion’.

Now what was suppose to be a voluntary placement of my child has turned into an apprehension and now instead of just calling and terminating the T.C.A. and getting my child back, I had to go through the courts.

The C.A.S complaints grew from my daughter having an abrasion, to myself handling her roughly to a positive drug test they ran on her. These were all false and thrown out once we went to court. It wasn’t whether these accusations would be thrown out or not that bothered me, but the notion of these things being possible of me to begin with.

My worker had no relationship with me nor seemed to have any intentions to build one.

It is sad to say but like a lot of professions, there are those who are on a power trip, and it is very unfortunate that they exist in such

a field as social work and even as sensitive as the one of the Children’s Aid Society. It is very hard to cope when in a situation such as this one, and it’s their word over yours. Well by this time with all the accusations, I was full of anger, disappointment, hurt and rage, because precious months with my child were going by all because I asked for help. Not that I had anything to hide but they tried to find any excuse to keep my daughter in care.

As they tried to dig up one thing after the other, animosity grew between the worker and myself. I questioned her reason for keeping my child in care and she couldn’t give me a reasonable answer. I wasn’t abusing my child. She was not hit, hurt, abandoned nor neglected, but yet they still chose to keep her there.

After many tears, questions and sleepless nights, I decided to request a change of worker who at this point in time had personal interest in my case, and as well I changed my lawyer.

He told me that it was my fault because I should have never called them, but I honestly did not know better. He asked why my lawyer took so long to put in a motion for my child’s return home, but the worker had the audacity to ask for my daughter to remain in care for six more months as a crown ward. When the judge asked her what for? She couldn’t give an answer so she changed it to three months so I can go for anger management classes. I wasn’t angry when I first called them though. I never placed my child into care at three months of age because I never wanted her, I placed her into temporary care to get some help.

Now I see that I should of explored other options. It wasn’t my plan to miss the first time she turned over from her back to her stomach, to miss her sitting up and crawl, but I guess that was the price I paid for being courageous. Now to wrap up my story I finally got my daughter back, a month before her first birthday.

She is three today and here sitting in my lap. It was a total of nine long months that she was in care. It may seem to be a short time compared to other families who lost their children to C.A.S., or who are still in the battle, but to me, it felt like eternity, and my heart goes out to those who are presently still in the struggle for that very important member of their family, who really need not be there

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Feature: Family Planning

Let’s grow together

Written by: Christian Garate

When I was 17-years-old I had to return to my mother’s house. I was eight months pregnant with my first child, and running away from my baby’s father. Domestic violence was the reason for leaving him. My mother received me in her house. At that moment she was my only support. She helped me and my daughter, providing us shelter, food and all we needed.

Living with her wasn’t easy at all. We didn’t have a good relationship, not even before I was pregnant. When the moment to define our roles came, we didn’t know how to do it, and because of that we made a lot of mistakes and bad choices. Later on I had to fix those mistakes with professional help and some by myself.

truancy, lack of communication or other issues, the situation is going to be even more stressful than it was before. Now there is a new factor that has been introduced to the relationship: the pregnancy. The teenager and her parents need a shift of attitude. In this situation the teenager must grow up, mature faster than in other circumstances, and continue to see her parents as a source of support and guidance. The parents must change their attitude towards her too; they should look at her as an adult. In some cases an intervention of a counsellor is necessary to make this process work. Communication is a key factor to make this living arrangement work for everybody.

I learned that living with our parents, is not always easy. Parents often inquire too much about our life. There are rules to follow and chores to do in their house. But things are different when we have to live with them while we are raising our child. You may have questions like: What can I expect from my parents? How do I deal with this situation?

What do I do with my life now? What is my life in this house going to be like? Who is going to raise my child, my parents or me?

There are some advantages for the young mother when she lives with her parents while raising her child. She could get support from her family in terms, of helping her economically, or if she wants to go back to school, or go out to take a break, or when the child gets sick her parents will most likely be there to give her advice, as well as bring some sort of emotional comfort. The child would learn to interact with other members of the family, develop important social skills and speech skills, faster than other kids who live in their home only with their parents.

I had the opportunity to have a conversation with an expert in the field, Maritza Sanchez.

Maritza is a teen councillor at Jessie’s Centre for Teenagers. Her experience as a counsellor at Jessie’s has taught her that “Age, economic situation, marital status, need of emotional support and safety are some of the most common factors that lead us to continue or return to our parent’s house.”

Maritza also says “Living with your parents during pregnancy until your child is a little bit older could happen at any age but will most likely occur during the teenage years.

Teenagers are more vulnerable. They are not mature enough to go through this process by themselves. And often they are forced to continue living with their parents because they don’t have enough resources and because of the lack of support from the government if they are under 18-years-old (unless they face a situation where her or her baby is in danger).”

I also learn from that if you have had a difficult relationship with your parents before you were pregnant, because of drug abuse, 32

Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

The disadvantages of living with your parents come when they try to impose their values and education on their grandchild. This could create confusion in the child, of who is in charge. Here is where the roles of the grandparents and the young mother have to be defined. They must clarify and respect each other’s role. If this doesn’t happen on time it could cause depression and anxiety in the young mother and she would not be able to give enough attention to her child.

The parents could think that her daughter is being lazy and is not mature enough to take care of the child. The grandmother could become something like the mother of her grandchild, and the young mother some kind of sister of her own child. This will create an uncomfortable situation for everybody and a vicious cycle of dependence.

I asked Maritza what advice she would give to parents who have to deal with this situation.

She says “The parents must respect their daughter and her decisions made in relation

with her child. They can show themselves supportive and demonstrate to her how much they love her. Be realistic and clear on how, when and in which way they are able and willing to help her child and her. Help her to decide what she wants to do in life, for her and her child and what are the steps to achieve these goals.”

My advice for young mothers, who have to live with their parents, would be to talk with your parents about living arrangements. Ask them to give suggestions of how you could contribute to the household. It could be doing some chores around the house or to contribute with some money. Be responsible for your child and ask your parents to respect the way you want to raise your child. If they want to have some intervention, just tell them that you would like to hear their advice, but you will make the decisions. Don’t be afraid to talk about your feelings with them. That may help them to understand how you feel. If you have the opportunity to go back to school, do it.

Education is important nowadays and it could give you a boost for a good job. Your parents could help you baby sitting your child.

There are many places where young mothers and their families can ask for support, like Jessie’s Centre for Teenagers which supports pregnant teenagers, teenage parents and their children. Child Development Institute, Yorktown Child and Family Centre and Family Services Association are agencies that have counsellors who could help you to deal with this kind of situation. They have programs for families and they are able to help with referrals.

Sometimes we don’t have another choice than to live with our parents while we are raising our child, at least until the situation changes. What we could try is to look for the best way to deal with it. Therefore building a healthy relationship and communication with our parents is important. Having a good relationship with them will help you to grow and your child would have a good role model to follow. And if there is no way to make the relationship between your parents and yourself work, don’t be afraid of asking for help. There are many resources and people ready to help you out. Be brave, strong and show yourself and the world, how difficult situations can be turned into great life experiences.

Feature: Family Planning

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Call or come into a nearby office to discuss how we can help you

Pre-Employment Program (Just ) for women Three week program daily 9:30 a.m. - 2:30p.m.

Scarborough 2425 Eglinton Avenue East Suite 218 (at Kennedy Road) Toronto, ON M1K 2P6 416-701-9041 North York 1110 Finch Avenue West Suite 405 (Between Dufferin & Keele St.) 416-667-0669 Lawrence Heights 700 Lawrence Avenue West Suite 486 (Lawrence Square) North York, ON M6A 3B4 (416) 787-1769 Malvern 1371 Neilson Road Suite 305 (Neilson Road & McLevin Ave) Scarborough, ON M1B 4Z8 (416) 283-53229

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Resources

All babies are born with a certain amount of natural protection against disease which they get from their mothers. But these antibodies usually don’t last past the first year of life when young children are at risk for a number of different diseases. Vaccines were created to help your child’s body build antibodies to prevent a disease. Vaccines work by giving the child small amounts of the virus or bacteria that are dead, weakened, or purified components.

The child’s immune system will them produce antibodies which will attack the virus to prevent the disease. The immune system then stores the information on how to produce those particular antibodies and will respond accordingly the next time the chid is exposed to the virus.

Luckily for us, in Canada we have free access to vaccines that will immunize our children from diseases such as polio, measles, mumps, and whooping cough. Each province in Canada has its own schedule for vaccines but here are the ones that are considered routine and are given to children in all provinces and territories free of charge.

All information was provided by Toronto Public Health.

Diphtheria – is a very serious bacterial infection. It can cause breathing problems, heart failure, paralysis (loss of control over muscles in the body) and death.

The 411 on immunizations Pertussis (Whooping Cough) – causes severe coughing spells for weeks or months.

It can also cause pneumonia (lung infection), middle ear infection, convulsions (seizures), inflammation of the brain and death. The risk of complications is greatest in children under one year.

Tetanus (Lockjaw) – causes painful muscle spasms, breathing failure and death. It is caused by bacteria a which can infect wounds.

Polio – can cause paralysis (loss of control over muscles in the body), inflammation of the brain and death. People get polio from drinking water or eating food with the polio virus in it. It is no longer common in Canada because of high immunization rates, but cases do occur in other countries.

Haemophilus B (Hib) – is a bacteria that can affect any part of the body. It can cause middle ear infections, breathing problems, damage to joints, pneumonia (lung infection), and inflammation of the brain leading to brain damage and death.

Measles (Red Measles) – causes rash, high fever, cough, runny nose and watery eyes. It can cause middle ear infections, pneumonia (lung infection), inflammation of the brain, hearing loss, brain damage and death.

Mumps – causes fever, headache, earache, painful swelling of the glands in the mouth and neck, and can cause inflammation of the brain. It can also cause temporary or permanent deafness, as well as swelling of the ovaries in women and testes in men, possibly leading to sterility.

Rubella (German Measles) – causes fever, rash, swelling of the neck glands and swelling and pain in the joints. It can cause bruising and bleeding. If a pregnant woman gets rubella, it is very dangerous for the unborn baby.

Pneumococcal Disease – is a bacterial infection which causes middle ear infections, pneumonia (lung infection), sepsis (blood infection), and an infection of the lining of the brain and spinal cord. The number of vaccine doses depends on the age of the child at first dose. It is offered free of charge for infants up to two years of age born on or after January 1, 2004.

Meningococcal Meningitis – is an infection of the lining of the brain and spinal cord caused by bacteria. It can cause a serious infection in the blood and/ or inflammation of the brain leading to brain damage and death. It is carried in the nose and throat of approximately 30 out of every 100 healthy people. Offered free of charge for one-year-old or 12-year-old children (grade 7) or 15 to 19-year-old youth.

Chickenpox (Varicella) – is a virus that can cause scarring of the skin, skin infections, pneumonia (lung infection), inflammation of the brain and death. It can also cause “shingles”, a painful rash later in life. Offered free of charge for one year-old children, fiveyear-olds who have not had the chickenpox or individuals with special health needs.

Hepatitis B – is a virus that can cause serious liver problems including liver failure, liver cancer and death. The vaccine is free to grade 7 students and anyone at increased risk for this disease.

Influenza (Flu) – is a viral infection of the nose, throat and lungs and causes cough, high fever, chills, headache and muscle pain. It can cause pneumonia (lung infection), middle ear infections, infection of the breathing tubes, heart failure and death. The danger of this infection varies from year to year depending on the strain, and can be mild to life threatening.

Everyone over six months of age is encouraged to get the vaccine every fall, free of charge.

The benefits of getting your child immunized far outweigh the risks. For most children there are no side effects however, there may be mild pain, swelling and/ or redness where the shot was given. Some children may also develop a mild fever but these reactions are minor and temporary.

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Words & Wisdom The Song of Solomon

Written by: Toni Morrison Reviewed by: Candace Lue

Published by: Knopf Publishing Group

The book looks through the eyes of Macon “Milkman” Dead while he goes on a journey of manhood and knowledge of his past. Written in a time where African Americans were still considered ‘coloured’, it brings the reader back into an environment where race was the first thing considered concerning another person and the Civil Rights movement was working overtime to achieve equality. While blending a fictional story with mystical and truthful events it teaches the reader about a past rich in discovery and wonderment. Did the Flying African’s really exist? Can a woman without a navel live? When will America overcome the hurdle of racism which still plagues the world? It really captures the experience of a person who is not complete and leaves you feeling satisfied when that person becomes whole. A must read for anyone who is interested in a novel outside the norm.

No Clean Clothes

Written by: Robert Munsch Published by: Scholastic Canada Illustrated by: Michael Martchenk Reviewed by: Vanessa Young, ECE This is a must read for all Robert Munsch fans, No clean clothes is a story about a little girl named Lacey, who can’t find anything clean to wear to school. Lacey’s mother convinces Lacey to wear a strange t-shirt that her Grandmother bought for her. Lacey confesses that every t-shirt that her grandmother buys, causes her a huge embarrassment at school, but since Lacey doesn’t have much choice, she wears the embarrassing t-shirt to school. Along the way Lacey meets a few new friends and realizes that she actually really LOVES her new t-shirt.

Jonathan Cleaned Up And Then He Heard A Sound

Written by: Robert Munsch Published by: Annick Presss Reviewed by: Emmanuel Khan-Rivera

Illustrated by: Michael Martchenko

I think ‘Jonathan cleaned up and then He Heard A Sound’ is a funny story, all about a little boy whose house is mistaken for a subway station. Jonathan’s mom comes home from buying a can a noodles to find her clean house turned upside down and doesn’t believe Jonathan at first, when he tells her a subway train stopped in the middle of there apartment. It goes to show that grown ups don’t always believe kids. Jonathan decides he going to do something about it even though no one really listens to him at first. Robert Munsch is one of my favorite authors and I always like the pictures in his books because of all the funny details. I think other kids would enjoy this story because it teaches you that no matter how small you are you can make a difference.

Shrek 3

Reviewed by Andi Murillo This story is based around two ogres, Shrek and Fiona and their life in Far Far Away. In the third installment of the movie series, Fiona’s father, the king of Far Far Away dies and Shrek becomes the new king much to his dislike. As much as Shrek doesn’t want to be king if he doesn’t find a suitable replacement he will have no choice but to rule Far Far Away.

As if Shrek didn’t have enough on his mind Fiona had a little surprise of her own. So with a pocket full of problems Shrek sets off on a long journey to find Artie, Fiona’s long-lost cousin. While Shrek is away Prince Charming returns to Far Far Away with revenge on his mind. Even with the help of Donkey and Puss in Boots, Shrek and Fiona (and Fiona’s little surprises) have a huge battle in store for them!

As a fan of the previous two I am sort of biased to liking the third. I thought once again it was great! The animations are terrific and it’s a movie that the whole family can enjoy. With jokes for the adults and children its sure to keep everyone entertained and interested!

2-in-1 Harness Buddy

Price: between $15.97 and $20.00 Reviewed by: Christian Garate Pros: Durable, machine washable, straps adapts as your child grows, you can remove the safety strap and turn it into a backpack.

I recommend this product because it is really useful, especially if you have a really active toddler or more than one child to take care of. It is perfect when you go to places that are crowed, like malls, festivals or even when you use public transit.

My toddler likes to explore and some times he will just start walking or running without holding my hand. Sometimes as moms, we get easily distracted, and all it takes is a moment and they would be gone. I feel comfortable using this toddler harness because I know where my boy is, he can’t run away without me and the harness won’t hurt him. It has a great design as a backpack. My kid’s harness is a monkey and he adores his monkey.

I have seen other styles, like a puppy or a unicorn. Some times when he doesn’t want to hold my hand, he would give me the strap and walk by himself, that makes him feel independent.

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Words & Wisdom Young Parent Resource Centres (Shelters) for Pregnant Women under 21 within the GTA. Humewood House 40 Humewood Drive 416-651-5657 Massey Centre 1102 Broadview Avenue 416-425-6348 Rosalie Hall 3020 Lawrence Avenue East 416-438-6880 Bethany Home 450 Pape Avenue 416-461-0217 Beatrice House 177 Caledonia Road 416-652-0077 Places to Stay When Pregnant or Parenting, Any Age. Robertson House 291 Sherbourne Street 416-392-5662 For homeless pregnant women.

Birkdale Residence Shelter for homeless women with children and homeless pregnant women.

416-392-5637 For referral call Central Family Intake (below) Central Family Intake Referral service to shelter beds Ask about couples program 416-397-5637

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Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

All services are confidential.

No Health Card is required.

Sherbourne Health Centre 333 Sherbourne Street 416-324-4180 Evergreen Centre 381 Yonge Street 416-977-7259 Doctor, dentist, hygienist , chiropractor and eyeglasses and foot care available, 25 and under

Shout Clinic 467 Jarvis Street 416-927-8553 ext. 21 Full health and dental clinic Free birth control for clients Covenant House 20 Gerrard Street East 416-593-4849 Doctor available Monday & Thursday mornings

Motherisk 416-813-6780 or www.motherisk.org Information for pregnant/parenting mothers on harmful substances to their growing babies.

Assaulted Womens Help Line 416-863-0511 Need ID Papers or Help Obtaining a Health Card and Birth Registration for Baby?

Evergreen Centre 381 Yonge Street 416-977-7259

Health Information Aids and Sexual Health Infoline 416-392-2437 Weekdays 9am - 11:30pm Weekends 11am - 4pm Toronto Rape Crisis Centre 416-597-8808 Street Outreach Services 416-473-8936 Monday to Saturday 8pm - 12 pm Services for street-involved youth.

Toronto Public Health Call intake at 416-338-7600 Individual or group programs for pregnant women & parents of children aged 0 to 6 years.

Planned Parenthood of Toronto a.k.a The House 36B Prince Arthur Avenue (near St. George subway) 416-927-7171 Confidential primary and sexual health care services, counseling, education and outreach for youth aged 13 to 25.

The Teen Sex Infoline 416-961-3200 Food Banks Call 416-392-6653 or visit www.foodshare.org St. Michael’s Hospital Women’s Health Care Centre 61 Queen Street West 416-867-7640 x 8044 Provides youth-friendly health care during pregnancy, gynecological services, counseling, education and referral to community resources.

Ask about the Infant Passport.

Words & Wisdom

spotlight

Here’s a cute picture of 3-year-old Nia getting ready to dive into her birthday cake.

Do you have a wacky or cute picture of your child or family?

If so, send it in and add your name, telephone number, mailing address and e-mail so that we can get in touch with you.

The child/family featured in the picture will receive an age appropriate book!

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COUNTRIES MOST AFFECTED BY AIDS WORD SEARCH CONTEST! When you’ve completed finding all of the words, cut it out and mail or fax it in (along with your name and mailing address) for a chance to win a book prize pack!

BAHAMAS

BOTSWANA

CAMBODIA

ETHIOPIA

DOMINICAN REPUBLIC GUYANA

INDIA

HAITI

KENYA

LESOTHO

MYANMAR NAMIBIA NIGERIA SOUTH AFRICA SWAZILAND TANZANIA UGANDA ZAMBIA ZIMBABWE

CREATED BY AMANDA CAIN, 2007

Z A K LT B O S U G A N DA M I N EEC L P C N A R P O JA M V N U R A M N AY M Z M KC B X Y I C E TA N Z A N I A I AEASLESOTHOTNOR B I N D P L M R N P H R I L F WMEA XAIDOBMACZA EN BAGU YA N A BYA BH OUSTE A D BEI YO N NT RE AWASTOBBICRDU N DU YA N ASUIE TEHO I N D I A AS M O M T EPRS G K E A I A D A I A V C I E Y NEM NCIQ NIM BE A R ATA LIPBA POIL A R A I O H A I T I M O A P M I N B A AC T D FG A H J I KC D L BHEOSWA ZIL A NDA P Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

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Words & Wisdom Chantal Senechal

There to here With Yo’ Mama recently interviewed a uniquely amazing and inspiring mama whose determination to rise above negativity led her to success in life and parenting.

Written by: Jacqueline Graham Chantal Senechal was a girl who had her head on her shoulders, who was confident and outgoing from day one. She knew her abilities. strengths and weaknesses.

Acknowledging these, along with having the longing to embrace the deeper meaning to life, helped her along the way.

At school Chantal always excelled and while although wasn’t your typical “teacher’s pet” she knew her strength in her academics and pushed forward with it. Besides having a good performance academically at school, Chantal was also very popular, but her true friends at this time, were the people she lived with, those in her community and neighborhood; as her school was in another location.

Like many can testify, Chantal, although grounded in what she wanted from life and strong willed, got wrapped up in things that began to side track her. Although she was popular and performed well in school, Chantal got caught up in “street life.” As she became more knitted with the people in her community and caught up with the street life, she eventually met her child’s father and at age 15 became pregnant. Chantal was in the 10th grade but was determined to finish up the year and did so with honors. In the year of 1995 at the age of 16 Chantal gave birth to her son.

Pregnancy and the beginning of motherhood brought whole new drama, yet meaning to life. As if being young and trying to push forward wasn’t hard enough, Chantal, like many young girls in her position, was now faced with the reality of living life as a parent.

Dealing with the baby father brought her stress and she had to adjust to making decisions based on the best interest of her son. The relationship between herself and the father was strained in the beginning, but not by choice. Once again, as many can relate, Chantal son’s father was incarcerated. The 38

Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

However Chantal was not alone. She says that her mother was a huge support for her.

She also found support in a teacher and found there were those from the streets who were actually there for her too. At this point Chantal was able to see who her true friends were. Chantal also found support in a teen parent program known as Teen Moms on the Move. At the group Chantal was able to see, talk and associate with other young mothers who were in similar situations as herself and who could relate with her. She says that “being among people who she could relate to helped a lot.” power and testament of this young woman is profound in that she always managed to rise to the top.

Wanting and believing in the importance of two parents in a child’s life, it enabled her to keep a positive relationship between her son and his father who still remains incarcerated today. They still communicate today through pictures and letters.

Surpassing all of this, Chantal remained focused. After having her son she took off a year from school to adjust to her new role as a young mother. While out of school Chantal utilized her time and continued her studies through a specialized program to complete her 11th grade. Chantal’s school principle stereotypically “encouraged” her not to bother to try and finish up school. The principle thought it would be very hard for her to do so with a child, and that she should just apply for welfare. Determined, to not be another statistic, and to prove her principle wrong, Chantal returned to her school to complete her grade twelve courses and graduated with honors that year and received three awards.

Chantal recalls her life changing drastically but for the better as she “no longer wanted to hang out on the streets anymore.” Life became “all about her,” as she had to take care of herself in order to do the same for her son.

It was here through the teen parent program that Chantal’s true purpose, passion and meaning for life began to shine. Because of the violence and loss of friends and loved ones in their community that everyone in her group was experiencing, the group took the initiative to develop a teen violence prevention program.

Through her ongoing work with the community and this program, Chantal began to realize how easy it was for youth to get lost in the system, so she decided to be a voice. “I want to see change,” she says, “I may not see it in my time, but I hope that my son will be able to benefit from it in the future.” Her passion began to grow as she ran with this determination.

With no formal post-secondary schooling, Chantal got into the field of Social Work in which she is well equipped for today. Today she works for Oolagen Community Services, and enjoys it very much. She currently works for a program called Wrap Around, where she deals with child welfare and youth diversion.

Through determination and perseverance Chantal developed herself into a women of power. She encourages other young women “not give in, give up or throw in the towel.

Remember your child, as your child is a reflection of you.”

Words & Wisdom Mother Written by: Candace Lue Mother what more can I say about you that you already do not know The way I feel is too deep for words to describe But for you I will try I will try to show you are appreciated The nights you cried and prayed to God The days we celebrated when He answered our prayers The times you told me you loved me but I was too angry to return the favour The time I realized how truly blessed I was to have you The time I said I’m sorry and you had already forgiven my stubbornness The day I felt you wouldn’t understand not knowing you already owned the market on the feeling They say to err is human but your love is God’s perfection I’m happy you did not quit I’m overjoyed you overcame I am one of the many testimonies of God’s love for you And the Lord showed me you were one of mine as well Although these words cannot best describe how special you are to me I look into myself for the feeling and Jesus fills my heart deeply I love you mom and you mean more than the world to me

My one and only I No Longer Wonder Written by: Amanda Cain I used to wonder Why I, Would not, Could not, Write for my man, Words would jumble up and stick like glue in sand, And then it dawned on me, That everything I can tell, Nothing I cannot say, To my wonderful man

Written by: Ju-lee Kerr Now we’re kissing and caressing And we soon will be undressing Yet we’re lost in the eyes of the only one And we’re dreaming and we’re loving it We’ll treasure it We’ll covet it And we won’t return to the way things used to be The safety and security Will cradle me and swaddle me And the thought of leaving will never cross my mind The birds will sing songs of love And the sun will shine from up above And it proves to me that love is oh, so blind

Congraulations to all of our word search winners who received a gift pack for submitting in their entries.

Congrats go out to: Thia S. of Toronto and Juan P. of Scarborough Yo’ Mama Fall 2007

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ISSN 1712-2643