Cameo’s cauldron … in which Cameo Miller stirs her thoughts and ideas to see what rises to the top.
much as possible. Sad tells us that we have
difficult. Maybe it takes you two hours to
lost something important to us—a friend,
recover after they leave. As you begin to
a special time, the realization that some-
discover what is underlying your anger,
one else cannot enjoy what we find joy in,
you can better decide on the best course
etc. Fear tells us we are in danger of be-
of action. Depending on which of the rea-
ing physically hurt or killed (whether the
sons you decided upon, there are now sev-
danger is real or perceived as real by us).
eral courses of action open to resolve each
Anger tells us that we are being harmed in
problem. You can check what you are doing
some way other than physically. Prevailing
with a colleague to make sure you are doing
theory says that people and events cannot
the best you can, you can move them to a
make us feel things; it is only our percep-
different day when you have fewer clients
tion of something that causes it to pro-
for them to “infect” or clients who will be
duce certain emotion in us. I partly agree.
better able to deal with it, or put them at
A roller coaster ride is
the end of the day when
exhilarating for one
you can do something
person and terrifying
fun and relaxing after-
to the next—it’s the same ride, but the perception of it is different. Where I disagree is that rather than try-
Feelings as Information
ing to change the per-
By Cameo Miller
something, and that
Illustration by Bethany Caskey
feeling is very import-
ception of the event, I use the FEELING AS
INFORMATION.
Events
and
people
can cause you to feel
ant information if you Emotions are running high right now, and
listen to it.
they have been for quite a while. There is
“
A roller coaster ride is exhilarating for one person and terrifying to the next—it’s the same ride, but the perception of it is different.
”
wards. You don’t have to feel guilty because you “shouldn’t” feel angry at a client, you don’t have to kick them out of the program to get rid of your anger, you don’t even have to quit being angry at them (although you may find that is what happens once you deal with the problem more effectively). You’ve listened to the information the feeling is trying to impart, and have processed that in-
a lot of fear, anxiety, and anger out there.
The next important
There are lots of other feelings flying
concept is that feel-
around too. So I thought I’d do a quick
ings are NOT action.
primer on feelings this time to help people
People are often dis-
understand what they are and how to deal
mayed by anger because they see a direct
If people don’t recognize what the anger is
with them.
and immediate connection between the
trying to tell them, feel powerless to deal
anger and an unpleasant action. Our action
with the situation, or feel they won’t be
First, a short course on feelings in gen-
needs to be filtered through our brain—we
able to handle the knowledge once they
eral. The experts have decided there are
need to consciously decide on an action
do know it, they are likely to react. And the
four basic feelings—happy, sad, fearful and
rather than just allow a reaction. Let’s look
cause of the anger continues to occur be-
angry, with a diversity of degrees, combi-
at a quick example: You have a client who
cause the message was never received and
nations and variations of each subsumed
is never satisfied and always negative about
an appropriate solution not arrived at.
under these. Each of these tells us a spe-
everything; they’re starting to make you
cific thing about what is happening to us
angry. What is the “harm” they are doing to
It is very common in our society to tell
at that moment. Happy, of course, tells us
you? Do you feel unappreciated or incom-
people not to feel anything except happy—
that things are going as we would like them
petent around them? Maybe they cause
and not too much of that. We are told we
to and we should try to keep these people,
everyone during that time to be more neg-
shouldn’t trust our feelings, intuition is
behaviors, items, creatures, etc. around as
ative and complaining and generally more
scoffed at, that all this feeling stuff can’t be
30
Fall 2020 | Riding Instructor
formation through your brain to arrive at the best possible solution.
