Space 4 Description Writing A collection of Space 4’s descriptive writing
April 2015
WALT Write a Description Task You need to write an unassisted description. It can be real or imaginary. You have examples in your literacy toolbox and I will be running workshops this week if you need help. Your description must be completed and emailed to me by Friday 22nd of May.
SUCCESS CRITERIA Surface Features Date, WALT and title Authors name at the end Punctuated correctly It makes sense Paragraphs are indented and on the next line Spelling is correct Deeper Features It is written in the present tense Contains Powerful Adjectives (Towering cliffs) Well-chosen/Interesting verbs (rumbled) Use appropriate senses (sight, touch, taste, hear, feel) Use of metaphor Use of similes Use of personification Use of imagination Publishing Features Can your audience read it? Is the font easy to read?
26 May 2015 WALT: Describe my perfect day
Perfect Day It was a brilliant sunny day to play golf. I hit some balls as far as I could. My iron struck the ball so hard it soared through the sky and bounced across the green. I noticed it had stopped raining. It was time for putting. I felt angry when I missed the hole. I need to practice putting. We were on the Twelfth hole. I started to tee off but it was my brother’s turn to tee off. When it was my turn to tee I felt very good. By Connie
29th May 2015 WALT Write an unassisted description
A Day Sick I lie in bed as if I’m tied up. The grey candy floss flies high above the strong roof. A rough dirty cough hurts me more and more. The tiny drops of rain tell me it’s going to be a bad day. The yucky thought makes me weaker and weaker. It’s useless. I’m a prisoner! By Dasha
22 May 2015 WALT Write a Description
Emi’s Worst Day Ever! Thick, heavy footsteps were coming closer to my spiky hideout in the pine foliage. I gripped on with all my life, reducing breathing. The lumberjack’s saw glinted in the moonlight and specks of blood told me that he wasn’t there to play pony tea party with me. It was cold as ever, and the small shrubs below seemed to laugh at me hysterically. A pine needle fell from a branch above. The grizzly black head turned slowly towards me. An ugly sight welcomed me, with a breath that smelt of pure meat and blood. The perfect combination for a ten foot tall bearded cannibal lumberjack in the middle of the night. I heard wolves howling in the distance. Wrinkles surrounded the plain face and beady black pupils scanned me. Scared, I jumped down and raced across the brown, muddy ground to safety. Bushes jabbed at my thighs and branches poked me in my stomach. It was a race of life and death. I could hear the deadly sound of bullets whizzing past my ear. I ducked under branches and jumped over tree stumps. I saw a frosted, icy river in the distance. It was my only chance. The hunting dog were biting my ankles, and pain flowed into my brain. I wanted to scream but nothing came out. The lumberjack was shouting very loud, and I thought my ears would melt. My heart was beating furiously and my legs carried me faster than I ever ran. The wind blew at my hair and there were rips in my shirt. The moon was high and it shone on me like a spotlight, making it nearly impossible to escape. I could see the raging river in front of me, and I thought of the consequences of jumping in. There was no time. Without thinking, I jumped into the body of ice and doom. I felt coldness take over me. I obeyed and lay crumpled up at the bottom of the river. My heart felt frosted, and beat slower and slower. I closed my eyes and waited for the end. “Oy! Ginger! Get off me!” I yelled. Ginger was licking my nose, and for once in a lifetime, I felt glad it was only a dream. Really. By Emi
22 May 2015 WALT Write a description
Inside the movie theatre The room was like a huge whale’s stomach with rows and rows of seats. The screen gazed at me like I was a prisoner. The sounds of the popcorns getting crunched made my ears tickle. The air smelled like the oily popcorn. Everybody was wondering. ‘When is the movie going to start?’ By Ga-Yeon
21 May 2015 WALT Write a Description
I try to move but I can’t. I’m solid ice. I’m afraid of the huge black beast that roams the house eating like a tornado. Suddenly I hear the beast, but soon I realise that it was just my heart crying from fear of the huge black beast. Oh no! There’s the huge black beast. Without warning the lights start beaming down on to my face. I can see the beast! Oh no! He picks me up and puts me down next to a plate of cheese, so I eat all of it like a wolf. The Beast turns out to be my friend. He picks me up gently and tucks me into bed. By Noah Metaphor Simile Personification
25 May 2015 WALT: Write an unassisted description
Lasagne As I walk in the room heat fills my body like an oven just turned on. The sweet smell of food follows my nose tempting me to eat all the food around me. Finally my steaming dish is served as delight fills my face. I am a baby in a bouncer. It’s lasagne. The perfect combo. Succulent beef, creamy tomato sauce, layered pasta and gooey, stringy cheese to top it all off. I take a bite. It’s the best thing I have ever tasted! An exquisite flavour fills my drooling mouth. I dig my fork in for the final time, then I realise that I had already done so. It’s ok. Up next is raspberry and pomegranate sorbet!
By Sam Davenport
28 May 2015 WALT: Write a description
Tinkle Tinkle ‘Tinkle tinkle’ went the transparent, delicate diamonds touching each other. The cave was covered in shimmering diamonds. Sunlight shone through a hole revealing a small, glistening waterfall and pond. A diamond dropped. Suddenly I jumped out of the way. I was too late. It slashed across the top of my left foot forming a cut. I carefully slid my injured foot into the pond. It was a relaxing temperature. Out of the blue two beautiful, blue and green coral seahorses appeared at my feet and started tickling the bottom of my feet with their tails, I laughed gleefully. By Shana
25 May 2015 WALT Write a description
Tom’s Description I was riding my bike down the hill and I tried to stop. The brakes screamed like a ghost and then it stopped. I was lucky it stopped. I went down the hill as slow as a snail and as slow as an ant. Now I will go slow around high steep hills. When I got down I was feeling great and joyful. I love bikes because they are fast and speedy. Scooters are slow. Now I’m down the hill. Now I’m going to a village to have lots of food. At last I’m home again. It is raining. I was as cold as an ice cream and when I was by the fire place it was as hot as the sun so I stayed inside. I was cold when I went to bed that night. The bed was cold because of the rain. When I was inside the house it was flooded and it was like a waterside. I am out to sea and not found. Our pool was turned into ice pops. It was great. When the sea went down I went outside and saw there was a lot of damage so we have to fix it. We were all happy again, It was better than the last one we built many years ago. By Tom
2nd June 2015 WALT Write an unassisted description
Sand Boarding I heard the wind whistle past my face as my board speed down the sandy slope. It was scorching in the mid-afternoon summer sun. Just as I was thinking about what might be for dinner I hit a rock. I did a full seven-twenty and landed face first in the refreshing ocean water. All my friends were clapping and cheering. I sprinted back up the hill but instead of turning left I turned right to try a slope with a natural tunnel so I could go round and round and round. I pushed off and was about to go in the tunnel when I noticed an old ramp so I went over it and landed perfectly on top of the tunnel. I heard sand crashing to the ground so naturally I looked back and saw the tunnel collapsing under my weight. It looked like the waves at a beach. I started to go even quicker. My speed was faster than that of an angry cheetah but so was the falling sand. Suddenly the sand in front of me fell and I landed in a heap. Everyone gasped but my head popped out of the sand. I spat all the sand out of my mouth. Eventually we went home after a long hard day of sand boarding. By David
29th May 2015 WALT: Write an unassisted description
Wild Wind Wind was blowing wildly; the trees were bending, twisting and curving. It was out of control. I walked through the bending trees, you’d kinda feel a bit scared. I hid my fears and I walked up like I was the king of the world. I was very proud of myself. The leaves were dancing as free as they could be, the birds were singing as loud as they could. It was a very powerful kind of day. By Ashleigh
29 May 2015 WALT Write an unassisted description
I felt calm as I saw the sun rise while leaves were falling over me. The peace was even more quiet than usual. It was also a very sad moment as well. It was becoming winter. The trees would be freezing and they would have lost all their leaves. I sat closer to the tree watching the leaves fall from the cold tree. “Stay strong.” I said to it. ‘Ring!’ went the school bell as loud as a baboon howling for bananas. I had to go to class and I knew it would make it through the winter. By Harry Hart
We Hope you enjoyed our descriptions. Follow us at http://space4chelseaschool.blogspot.co.nz/