BEFORE YOU GO
RETAIL RANDOMS
! E K A C T A E m e h t t e L Julia Child, an American TV chef equivalent of Fanny Craddock, once said: “A party without cake is just a meeting.” Boris Johnson and all those involved in the lockdown parties rumpus probably agree. However, it will doubtless be leaked that, while Britain was bunkering down, Downing Street staffers were filling up suitcases with Victoria sponges to keep “meetings” in full swing. And they probably got them from Tesco. It appears the canny supermarket giant is now selling cakes (a steal at only £7.50) specially designed for meetings (just in case you want to celebrate but government restrictions don’t permit you to throw a party). Boris would do well to remember Marie “Let them eat cake” Antoinette. She too was indifferent to the suffering of the masses and partied on regardless. Look where that got her. The Week In Retail has launched a competition to celebrate partygate. To enter, guess how many Tesco Party Meeting Cakes would fit in a large suitcase. Pop your answer on the back of a P45 and send to 10 Downing St, London. There are no winners. Except perhaps Rishi Sunak.
BURNS SCUPPERED
ing trolley worth
Andre, god love him. Now, we’re not
an estimated
comparing the former glamour model
£25,000.
to some minced-up sheep lungs, but
T h e r e ’s
a
News has reached The Week In Retail
couple of things
that “the UK’s poshest haggis” is to
wrong here.
be served at a Lake District hotel’s Burns Night celebration.
you can pick up a haggis for less than three quid. Who knows, the Borrowdale
First, a 25
might even be serving Grants Pre-
grand carving trolley does not a posh
mium Haggis (£1.50) straight out of
The Borrowdale Hotel near
haggis make. Katie Price turned up to
the tin. Delicious, but not posh.
Keswick is promising “a night to
her wedding in a horse-drawn glass
Secondly, what about those white
remember” by serving the traditional
carriage and nobody thought she
plastic castors? Even Katie Price
Scottish dish on a silver-plated carv-
was Cinderella. Except perhaps Peter
wouldn’t give them house room.
WEDNESDAY 19TH JANUARY 2022 / ISSUE 88 / SLRMAG.CO.UK / 35
