BEFORE YOU GO
RETAIL RANDOMS
E H T IN M E IT D E T C E P X E N U BAGGING AREA We’ve all been there, doing the big shop and suddenly remembering we need to schlep all the way across town to the Ann Summers to buy a new vibrator. Annoying, isn’t it? The good news is that Tesco has this week started stocking Lovehoney sex toys. As part of an exclusive brand partnership, the “sexual wellness” company’s products are appearing in more than 250 Tesco Extra stores across England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland. Six products – that cryptically promise to “suit all needs” – will appear on shelves, with prices ranging from £4.99 to £24.99. Lovehoney CCO Debbie Bond, said: “As the sexual happiness people, we believe that everyone should have a
fun and fulfilling sex life, and we look forward to being able to share our fabulous product range with the Tesco customers.” To test the waters, The Week In Retail asked a Tesco customer if they would
consider buying a sex toy alongside their shopping. “I’d be too embarrassed to stick it in my basket,” was the reply. Which begs the follow-up question: where would you stick it then?
THE RING’S THE THING Pizza Express has just taken conspicuous consumption to a whole new level with its new ‘pizza bling rings’. Now, we always thought a bling ring was the anal equivalent of a vajazzle, but these special diamond en-crust-ed (see what we did there) beauties apparently give the wearers unlimited access to free nosh. The rings form part of a promotion for the new Pizza Express Club app, and there are just 10 of them up for grabs. These will be dished out at random to people who achieve Gold Status on the app over the next three months. As far as we can tell, going for Gold simply involves getting your chops around a shedload of pizza.
However, anyone else who flashes their ring can
Pizza Express says the lucky winners “can flash
expect to be on the Sex Offenders Register for – maybe
their rings for free pizza, sides and dough balls for life”.
not life – but a couple of years anyway.
WEDNESDAY 2ND MARCH 2022 / ISSUE 94 / SLRMAG.CO.UK I 43
