Equilibrium Magazine for Wellbeing & Mental Health

ISSUE 69, 2019

• Mental Health in the Young • Introvert or Extrovert • Artist: Kimi Kurahara • Paintings, poems and fiction

MAGAZINE FOR WELLBEING

Front cover: Pixabay/ 12019

Equilibrium Patron Dr Liz Miller Mind Champion, 2008.

What Equilibrium means to me‌.

WEB ALERTS If you know anyone who would like to be on our mailing list to get the magazine four times a year (no spam!), please email: equilibriumteam@hotmail. co.uk (www.haringey.gov.uk/ equilibrium).

Equilibrium is devised, created and produced by . students with experience of the mental health system.

Photo copyright remains with all individual artists and Equilibrium. All rights reserved, 2011.

I enjoyed writing a short article for the mental health magazine Equilibrium based on my personal experience of having a mental illness for the last 20 years. The office environment and people were all friendly and gave support on tap, especially when you got stuck for ideas or needed technical help using the computer. The other contributors present all shared a mental health history, so gelled well together, and we were made to feel very welcome.

Norman I found Equilibrium at a crucial point, where I found an open door to try a new healing form of writing and expression. Honest, happy, healthy.

One thing I have to say, I go at my own pace and learn little lessons on computers, in art and writing, communicating, and ultimately a chance to get some self-confidence and self-esteem back after being belittled and degraded and abused. I found the open light of Equilibrium at the end of a dark tunnel of life. Equilibrium gives me a purpose. Thank you.

Blessings. Richard The magazine means a lot to me for the reason that it allows me to write about various aspects of mental health and wellbeing. This is one of the only places where you can talk about this sticky matter and issues surrounding wellbeing. Working here also allows me to meet like-minded people who are passionate about talking about their experiences of their conditions. Seeing these issues being published spreads information on mental health, and other topics, even further.

Devzilla Equilibrium has been a fantastic form of expression for me. I have the choice to write about what I want and I can put my ideas into practice.

I have been with Equilibrium since 2007, and I never run out of ideas of things to write about. I have enjoyed writing articles and reviews about plays, books and galleries. The Equilibrium team has changed from time to time, but we still manage to produce four copies of the magazine a year.

Angela

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EDITORIAL Hello and welcome to another issue of Equilibrium. We are hoping that the bad weather is not getting you down and is an excuse to curl up in the warm with a hot drink and a good book.

Some of you will have noticed that this is a shorter issue than usual. However, we hope that you enjoy the variety of pieces that are still on offer, as they are no less thought-provoking than usual.

This will also be my last issue of Equilibrium, which is a great sadness. I have loved every minute of this job, and I will miss the work and the team at the Clarendon Recovery College a great deal. I wish them all the best for the future; thank you for making this job so great!

I also want to thank both our contributors and our readers. Without you, the magazine would not be possible! I hope you continue to enjoy reading this lovely and underrated publication for years to come. I know that I will.

Namaste for the last time, Emily, Editor

DISCLAIMER Equilibrium is produced by students. Reproduction in whole or in part is strictly forbidden without the prior permission of the Equilibrium team. Products, articles and services advertised in this publication do not necessarily carry the endorsement of Equilibrium or any of our partners. Any material that has been reprinted is, as far as we know, in the public domain. If you have any concerns about anything printed within Equilibrium, please contact the team via the email below.

Equilibrium is published and circulated electronically four times a year to a database of subscribers; if you do not wish to receive Equilibrium or have received it by mistake, please email unsubscribe to equilibriumteam@hotmail.co.uk

THE TEAM Facilitator/Editor: Emily Sherris Students: Dev, Nigel, Richard Graphic Designer: Anthony J. Parke

CONTACT US Equilibrium, Clarendon Recovery College, Clarendon Road, London, N8 ODJ. 0208 489 4860, equilibriumteam@hotmail.co.uk.

CONTRIBUTIONS Wanted: contributions to Equilibrium! Please email us with your news, views, poems, photos and articles. Anonymity guaranteed if required.

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Pixabay/ ID 729714 EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 4

Summer/ Issue 38

Are You an Ugly Duckling?

Liv Johannesson

M

ost of us have heard the

spectrum. In Quiet, introverted traits

terms introvert and extrovert,

are described as: reflective, cerebral,

and most of us have an instinctive

bookish, unassuming, sensitive,

perception of which describes us

thoughtful, serious, contemplative,

best. These traits are discussed in the

subtle, introspective, gentle, calm,

widely popular book Quiet, the power

modest, solitude-seeking, risk-

of introverts in a world that can’t stop

averse and thin-skinned. Extroverts,

talking by Susan Cain. In her book she

on the other hand, are described

mentions a professor named Brian

as: ebullient, expansive, sociable,

Little, and I believe his theories about

gregarious, excitable, dominant,

personality traits have relevance in

assertive, active, risk-taking, thick-

cases of burnout.

skinned, light-hearted, bold and

The definitions for the terms

comfortable in the spotlight. One

introvert and extrovert are being

important point of the book is that we

debated by scientists, but it’s now

have become an extroverted society,

widely accepted that there is such a

thus leaving the introverted

thing as extroverted and introverted

population struggling to take part in a

persons. We all fall somewhere on a

satisfactory way.

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Brian Little’s theory says that we

This way of looking at our

can all step out of our natural

personalities encourages us not

state as introverts or extroverts

to be held back from doing what

when we need to. As introverts, we

we love or need to get done just

learn to act as extroverts in order to

because it doesn’t come naturally

achieve our goals and function in

to us. We can become comfortable

society, but an extrovert can likewise

doing it anyway, as long as we

learn to adapt typical introverted

balance it out.

traits to succeed within that kind of environment.

Little himself is a good example: by

For example, no matter how introverted you are, you can still take on delivering an important

day, he is an engaging, extroverted

presentation to a large group of

and funny teacher, but by night he

people; just make sure you prepare

hides in the solitude of his home,

for it and compensate for it. If you are

reading books. Because he loves his

a bubbly extrovert, you can restrain

students and loves teaching, he acts

yourself for deep analytical studies;

more extroverted in order to be a

just meet up with a group of friends

better teacher.

afterwards. I think it also helps explain

Little claims that stepping out of

why stress problems are on the rise.

our persona takes its toll. To be the

Imagine you’re an introvert

extroverted teacher, he also needs

who needs a lot of solitude for

his solitude to recharge his batteries.

contemplation and to regain your

Like yin and yang, stepping out of our

energy. You commute to work on

persona needs to be balanced with

an overcrowded train or Tube. You

more time to relish in our natural state.

spend your day in an open office

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Summer/ Issue 38

with constant noise, people talking

impact on our lives. It’s the slow-

over your head, phones ringing,

burning stress that we can’t seem

maybe even the radio playing.

to escape long enough to recover

Then you return home on another overcrowded train. If you live in a big city, chances are you share a house with others. You spend the evening trying to avoid their music, chatter and TV sounds. Maybe you are still lucky, and the house goes quiet by

so farfetched to argue that one probable cause of this slow burnout is that we don’t get to spend enough time being in an environment that is natural to us? I take the example

the time you need to go to sleep.

of an introvert because our society

Perhaps you’ve had the chance to

is adapted for extroverts, and there

escape for a quiet walk, but where

is a predominantly extroverted

else during that day did you have a

population, leaving the introverts on

chance to recharge your batteries?

the margin of society.

When, during that day, were your needs met? How long can you keep going like this before you run on empty batteries? We all know how we feel after a night with poor sleep.

We are irritable, less patient and less tolerant to sounds.

Those familiar with high stress levels pixabay/ LeandroDeCarvalho

from that will tip the scale. Is it

However, I’m sure the same can be applied to extroverts forced to act as introverts for too long. Perhaps, like the ugly duckling, we turn out to be swans once we accept our true nature and demand the right to have our needs met. After all, we should

and burnouts know it’s not

cherish our individual strengths, not

the rush of stress that has a negative

be punished for our different natures.

www.haringey.gov.uk/equilibrium

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Pixabay/ SplitShire EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 8

Summer/ Issue 38

An Eye on the Young Nigel Prestatyn

W

hen we think of individuals

back to my brother in his school, and

suffering from mental health

feel inclined to say he was probably

issues, we often invariably think of

regarded as the only child in the school

adults. But growing up with an elder

with mental health problems, which

brother with a severe mental illness from

was probably due to ignorance. It’s not

a very young age has made me aware

all about hearing voices and seeing

of the reality. This was over forty years

visions, as was the case with my brother.

ago. I think in today’s climate we are

The spectrum is broad and far more

much more aware of the ubiquitous

complex. In general, we can say we are

nature of mental health issues among

dealing with issues, including depression

the young. There is a greater awareness

and anxiety, that are a direct response

in general. Maybe because now,

to what is happening in our lives.

as a parent with one child hitting his

As a parent, I spend the majority of

teens and another doing the same in

my time focusing on an array of health

three years’ time, I find myself with a

issues concerning my children: diet,

heightened awareness of the difficulties

teeth, eyesight, exercise, fresh air, for

facing young people today.

example. We regularly get our kids’

Mental health statistics tell us that

teeth and eyesight checked, etc. We

one in ten children are affected by

take them to the GP for various injuries

mental health problems. So in your

and physical ailments. We are ‘on it’,

average class, perhaps three will

so to speak, with regards to all non-

suffer from mental health issues. I think

mental health related issues. But mental

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health issues among children can lurk

mental ill-health, such as changing

undetected for some time. Maybe

schools, divorce or the death of a

the child is not even aware of it until

loved one. The transition from primary

the warning signs are so pronounced

to secondary school is very marked

that they are picked up by parents.

and is, in itself, a stressful time for most

Perhaps that is one of the difficulties?

children. Suddenly they are faced

Statistics show that 70% of children

with an academic workload to deal

and young people who experience

with and thoughts of detention if goals

a mental health problem have not

are not met. They find themselves in a

had appropriate interventions at a

world of pressure and deadlines. Some

sufficiently early age.

make the transition well, others less so.

There is either a greater stress on

All this while their bodies are changing

children today than when I was

and developing. It can take time for

growing up, or perhaps simply a

children to find their feet and feel a

greater awareness. Certainly anxiety

sense of stability in a world that can, at

around climate change is new and

times, feel volatile.

having a profound effect. Certainly the current political chaos surrounding Brexit has ramifications. If not directly in the child, then as stress trickled down from parent to child. There are many

As a general guide there are areas that we can recognise as mental health issues arising in the young. This list was in part sourced from the Guardian and gives a good breakdown of areas to be aware of:

social pressures stemming from social media, opening up new avenues of bullying and pressure to be a certain way. Then there are general traumatic events in our lives that can trigger

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• Depression affects more children and young people today than in the last few decades, but it is still more common in adults. Teenagers are more

Summer/ Issue 38

likely to experience depression than

teenage years and are more common

young children.

in girls than boys.

• Self-harm is a very common

One of the best ways young

problem among young people. Some

people can be helped is if their

find it helps them manage intense

parents have an open dialogue about

emotional pain.

it. This is perhaps easier said than

• Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)

done. I certainly have one child who

can cause young people to become

is stubbornly monosyllabic. However,

extremely worried. Very young

I believe with some persistence and

children or children starting or moving

empathy an exchange is usually

school may have separation anxiety.

possible. It might simply begin with,

• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

‘How was your day?’ Regularly

can follow physical or sexual abuse,

asking this question may act as a

witnessing something extremely

useful gauge as to their current

frightening of traumatising, being the

mood. Listening with an open mind is

victim of violence or severe bullying or

essential. Prior to this, a ‘safe space’

surviving a disaster.

where a dialogue can surface

• Hyperactivity. Children who are

should be created. Often feelings of

consistently overactive (‘hyperactive’)

distress can pass naturally with young

often behave impulsively and have

people; however, in cases where this

difficulty paying attention. They may

is persistent and harm the quality of

have attention deficit hyperactivity

their lives, some form of professional

disorder (ADHD). Many more boys

intervention may be recommended.

than girls are affected, but the causes

The list below gives links to various

of ADHD aren’t fully understood.

support networks available.

• Eating disorders usually start in the

www.haringey.gov.uk/equilibrium

Let us take a quick look at things

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that can help the mental wellbeing

• feeling they have some control over

of young people. Again, this list was

their own life

sourced from the Guardian and is an

• having the strength to cope when

excellent summary of areas to look at:

something is wrong (resilience) and the

• being in good physical health, eating a balanced diet and getting regular exercise

• having time and freedom to play, indoors and outdoors

• being part of a family that gets along most of the time

• going to a school that looks after the wellbeing of all its pupils

• taking part in local activities.

ability to solve problems.

Organisations that can help: •

Childline

•

YoungMinds

•

Contact

•

Family Lives

•

Barnardo’s

•

Kidscape

•

Penumbra (Scotland)

•

CALM (Campaign Against Living

Other factors are also important:

Miserably)

• feeling loved, trusted, understood,

•

valued and safe

Suicide)

• being interested in life and having

•

opportunities to enjoy themselves

Mental Health Coalition (CYPMHC)

PAPYRUS (Prevention of Young

Children and Young People’s

• being hopeful and optimistic • being able to learn and having opportunities to succeed

Source: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/c/

• accepting who they are and

children-and-young-people

recognising what they are good at

• having a sense of belonging in their family, school and community

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Summer/ Issue 38

www.haringey.gov.uk/equilibrium

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Arts - Kimi Kurahara Anthony J. Parke

Kimi Kurahara is a Japanese artist, born

Mad Hatters and March Hares. The

in Tokyo. She has devoted a lifetime to

surface appearance is innocent and

her art. Having had a very rich career

beguiling, befitting perhaps, given the

to date, she has exhibited in numerous

subject matter, which is ostensibly that

prestigious galleries across Japan over

of young children, of which most are

the years.

predominantly girls.

Kimi Kurahara is one of those

These paintings are unusual in that

artists whose paintings work on a

they make the subtlest of transitions

peculiarly subtle level. They have

between the oversized eyes of anime,

the quality of fictional characters,

and the western illustrative characters

as though extracted from a world of

found in children’s books. They are

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Summer/ Issue 38

essentially doll-like in their features. So

her own worlds, and we the witness to

it comes as no surprise to learn that a

it. In a sense, Kimi is bringing about the

childhood Kimi was an avid fan of dolls.

reanimation of her childhood love of

As an established artist, she has built her

dolls: resurrecting them with their own

career not only by painting dolls, but

accompanying paraphernalia and

also in making dolls! For Kimi, the two are

history.

intrinsically bound.

For many, the nostalgia for dolls often

Why create a world with doll-like figures? Perhaps her characters are

leads to collecting in later life, but for

designed to soothe a psychological

Kimi it’s a case of creation, rather than

need or, to speculate further, fill an

passive collecting. She is the creator of

emotional void (as real dolls do at times).

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After all, dolls are representations of

are designed to transfix. As the artist

people. So Kimi creates a beautifully

herself acknowledges, she is working

controlled world in which to explore.

around a facsimile of dolls that she

While innocuous at first glance,

grew up with. Dolls can be peculiarly

on further inspection the neutrally

disturbing objects given the right

expressive, staring characters have

context; and that is expressed

the unusual capacity to disarm. They

subtly here. These are curious lives,

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opening themselves up to a viewer’s

Japan’s great history of Karakuri

imagination. We are left to create

doll making, dating back to the

our own narrative around these

19th century. She offers a more

children. They appear to want to

modern, contempoary version, with

connect. In fact, with their hypnotic

the added ability to transfix and

gaze, they demand our attention.

mesmerize in worlds wondrously

Kimi Kurahara’s paintings are a

unique to her.

two-dimensional continuation of

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Saraswati Sets to Work Marianne Antonis

Pixabay/ 9091

H

er tread is the quiet brush of a sandal on stone, and there are

Not so you’d notice. Not at first.

Hummed quietly under her breath: the

no sounds from her lips, until there is

song of a scale. Not a major or a minor:

silence on the Parkland Walk, just out

if the joggers took off their earphones,

from under the bridge near the Cranley

they’d hear the raag and think she was

Gardens’ steps. Then the scales begin.

praying. Maybe they’d wonder about

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Summer/ Issue 38

this white woman with white hair,

been flattened.

singing as if no one could hear her.

The white woman with white hair

Maybe she is praying. But she

opens her mouth. She gasps. There is

doesn’t know. She doesn’t yet know

no explanation. She thinks she will not

about the goddess. She doesn’t know

sing again, ‘til this has all fallen into

that this is the goddess’ scale. And

place, ‘til she stops seeing the image

she has no idea what she is praying for.

of that man, or at least knows the why and how…

So it is unexpected: the flood.

There is no water: feelings and thoughts rise way above sea level.

There are no dikes. No oars and no floats. She feels a sadness whose depths are unending, and tears flow. Then a rage surges through her gut, as if it could never stop. She is yelling, ‘No!’, and ‘Why did you…?’ at that man in her mind, as if he could

She doesn’t know that for the seven hours since midnight, the goddess of speech and song, of wisdom and knowledge, has been peering around the bridge at Cranley Gardens, looking for a singer. Not a jogger or someone lurking; for a tune or a scale being hummed or sung.

She doesn’t know that this goddess

hear her, as if he’d want to admit

has a whole river named after her, in

anything.

India…long dried up.

There is no one around her, no one to turn to.

In front of her, on the Parkland

The mouth of the white woman with white hair resumes its singing.

Not just the plain up and down of

Walk, an invisible surge of water has

the raag now. A whole improvisation

flown along the path. Stones and flint

comes from inside her.

have been washed out of the clay

The pictures of that man, and what

and strewn in mounds at the edge

he did, are still there. She doesn’t

of the path. The edges are no longer

know the why and how.

distinct. Swathes of brambles have

Her mouth still sings.

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