FWM 2010 09 and 10

School Directory

September & October, 2010

www.familyworks.org

September & October, 2010

4 Is Attitude Everything?

5

6

By Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith MA, RN, MFT

APPLE FamilyWorks Families of the Year Gala

16 Can Teaching Self Regulation

Positive Reinforcement A Proactive Intervention !

Director and Location

22 2010 School Directory

APPLE FamilyWorks 11 Parenting Programs 12 Counseling Programs 13 Family Interactive Therapy 14 Support for Individuals with Special Needs

15 Tips to Make Halloween

By Jessica Dore

20 Music Together Announces New

School Spotlight Dunham Academy

By Amy Logan

By Anjela Yeager

18 ADHD Diagnosis? Don’t Panic!

By Patricia Saunders, MA, MFT

8

Help Close the Acheivement Gap?

More Enjoyable for Your Pets

Our New Look APPLE FamilyWorks and FamilyWorks Magazine have redesigned their logos. As always the apple symbolizes health, growth, education, and nurturing. The new design reflects APPLE FamilyWorks’ forward thinking and dedication to strengthening relationships for a lifetime. The new design was chosen after valuable input from focus groups that included executives from

Autodesk, Bank of Marin, Marin Sanitary Service Morning Star PR and Sustainable Fairfax, as well as APPLE Familyworks current and past board members, staff, and volunteers.

FamilyWorks Magazine is published by APPLE FamilyWorks® Executive Director: Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith Editor:

Lew Tremaine

Marketing:

Doug Silberstein

Art Director/Website:

Christine M. Astin

Web Publisher:

Art Severe

Printed by:

S.F. Offset

FamilyWorks® Board of Directors: Anjana Berde, President Paul Ricken, Vice President Mark Clark, Secretary Maria Villani, Treasurer Vicky Smirnoff Amy Whitelaw

APPLE FamilyWorks® 4 Joseph Court, San Rafael, CA 94903 email: familynews@familyworks.org Read FamilyWorks Magazine on-line at www.familyworks.org

Sponsorship Information: Doug Silberstein Phone: (415) 492-1022 FAX: (415) 492-1099 email: community@familyworks.org

This seal of approval is a service mark of Independent Charities of America and is used under license.

Content is the responsibility of FamilyWorks.

awarded to

Editorial Information: Lew Tremaine Phone: (415) 492-0720 x231 FAX: (415) 492-1099 email: familynews@familyworks.org

Circulation: This major family magazine is published bi-monthly and widely distributed FREE throughout Marin and Sonoma Counties: through home deliveries, distribution to over 200 community locations - stores, public and private schools, medical offices, hospitals, and family-related businesses – and direct mail to thousands of active participants and sponsors of FamilyWorks®. © 2010 APPLE FamilyWorks®, All rights reserved. APPLE FamilyWorks is a nonprofit agency serving families in the Bay Area. No portion of FamilyWorks Magazine may be reproduced without written permission of the publisher. Appearance of articles, editorials, author’s point of view, advertisements or announcements for products and services in FamilyWorks Magazine does not necessarily constitute an endorsement by FamilyWorks® and FamilyWorks® is not responsible for its content or the reactions of readers to its content. FamilyWorks Magazine reserves the right to refuse advertising for any reason. Unsolicited manuscripts and photographs are welcome and should e-mailed to: familynews@familyworks.org

www.familyworks.org

September & October, 2010

Is Attitude Everything?

While attitude is not really everything, attitude does make a huge difference in the outcome of our everyday lives.

Attitude colors our feelings and informs our choice of actions. Our attitude/our automatic thinking effects how we feel and how we act. We all have negative talk and self-talk as hold over from our life experiences. However we can listen to our self-talk and choose the model we are for our children.

Below are scenarios with both the Positive/Proactive Attitude and the Hopeless/victim Attitude.

When we choose to adopt a positive and proactive attitude we assume that there are collaborative solutions. We

AFTER SCHOOL

don’t expect others to read our minds and protect us, or that problems have instant solutions. The Hopeless/Victim Attitude assumes the worst about self, others and future outcomes.

The next time you are challenged ask yourself: “What are my assumptions about this situation? What am I thinking? Can I turn a hopeless, blaming or fearful attitude to one of hope? Can I resolve to turn the situation around for the good of all?”

Below are examples of shifting attitudes:

END OF THE DAY

Avrial (10) runs to her mother as she is picked up from daycare, “Dennis (7) hit me. He is so mean! I hate him.”

How would our attitude change the outcome for Avrial?

It’s 7 PM. John (the father) comes home from work exhausted. He plops on the couch and picks up the TV remote. Emily (the mother) enters the house with groceries and the children she just picked up from daycare.

Hopeless/Victim

Positive/Proactive

Hopeless/Victim

Positive/Proactive

All boys are mean.

Dennis needs guidance.

He/she is never any help.

Looks like we’re both exhausted.

I just can’t protect her.

We learn from challenges.

How can we share these chores.

She’s so sensitive.

Poor thing.

I’ll teach her assertiveness training.

I could just scream!

Why are the kids so noisy?

We need a transition strategy.

It is easy to see how Mom’s victim attitude could leave Avrial with little hope in her own strength, while the proactive attitude build skills and strength.

We can see how the victim approach could create a power struggle, angry feelings, and miss the chance to engage the children in being helpful.

by Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith, RN, PHN, MA, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist specializing in couples, parenting and co-parenting concerns. She is a renowned family educator. Learn more great parenting skills in her Positive & Peaceful Parenting class. Call (415) 492-0720 to sign up or make an appointment for counseling services.

September & October, 2010

www.familyworks.org

Families of the Year Gala Friday, October 15th, 2010, 6:00 to 9:30 p.m.

The Next Key Center 1399 N. Hamilton Parkway, Novato

Families of the Year Honorees and Honored Agencies The Beltran Family - Golden Gate Regional Center

The Roth-Fennell Family - Marin YMCA

The Arteaga Family - Marin Community Clinic

The Riviore Family - Big Brothers/Big Sisters of the North Bay

Family Friendly Business of the Year Accuchex - Jim and Leslie Ruhland

APPLE FamilyWorks honors four families who are models of resilience and courage, and we honor four non-profit agencies and one business for their outstanding work on behalf of families.

Many Thanks to Families of the Year Sponsors - Benefactors -

• Marin Sanitary Service • Marinscope Community Newspapers • John T. Smith, D.D.S.

- Leaders-

• Anna Chandler Photography • Good Earth Natural and Organic Foods • Marintellect Consulting • Summit State Bank • Westamerica Bank • Union Bank - Patrons • Bank of Marin Community Fund • Montecito Plaza • PMB+Helin Donovan www.familyworks.org

September & October, 2010

Positive Reinforcement A Proactive Intervention!

In some families, the lazy days of summer (not that parents have any!) meant that the rules and demands on the kids got a little looser. But now, as everyone heads back into the hectic schedule and pressures of school and a more demanding routine, some parents anticipate with dread what they think is inevitable – struggling to get the kids back into line. “Johnny, finish your homework or there’s no TV for you tonight.” “Suzie, clean your room up or I’ll take your phone away.” “Jimmy, you’re so lazy.

Put the trash out or you’re grounded for the weekend.”

But, it doesn’t have to be a battle of wills – not if you

Positive reinforcement is simple: “Catch” your children doing something right and let them know.

Patricia Saunders, MA, MFT is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist specializing in families, parenting, and co-parenting. She is the Director of Therapeutic Programs at APPLE FamilyWorks. Call (415) 492-0720 to make an appointment for counseling services.

September & October, 2010

bring in more positive reinforcement.

Positive reinforcement is simple: “Catch” your children doing something right and let them know. It works because it focuses the child’s attention on his/her positive behaviors rather than distracting them with the possible negative outcomes for NOT doing the right thing. And, positive reinforcement bolsters self-esteem, enabling kids to believe in themselves as capable and terrific people.

To drive this idea home, let’s compare positive reinforcement with punishment/negative consequences:

Punishment/ Negative Reinforcement

Positive Reinforcement

Is often unrelated to the negative behavior, more severe than necessary, and delivered when the parent is in an angry state of mind.

Focuses on the specific behavior that the parent wants to see repeated and is delivered in a calm state of mind.

Sets up resistance to change and/ or hostile compliance, and the need to get even.

Assumes cooperation and leaves the child feeling positive about him/herself with an interest in continuing to cooperate.

Focuses the child on the parent enforcing the punishment and the fairness of the consequence rather than the behavior.

Focuses the child on his/her behavior and the positive reward associated with doing it.

Stops negative behavior in the moment. However, the negative behavior returns, especially if the enforcing parent isn’t present.

Acts as a motivator and results in repetition of the positive behavior, independent of the parent’s presence.

Stimulates the part of the brain – in both parent and child – that responds to danger and ignites the fight/flight response.

Stimulates the executive part of the brain – in both parent and child – where problem-solving and solution-focused thinking takes place.

Is often harsh, disrespectful and shaming, which damages the child’s self-esteem.

Leaves a child feeling positive about him/herself, which, in turn, is the basis of self-confidence and independence.

www.familyworks.org

Following are some tips for using one especially effective positive reinforcer – praise: Make praise specific: It is important that your child knows specifically what you liked about the behavior. “Good job” is positive, but it doesn’t help with repetition of the behavior because it lacks specificity – what does “good” mean? A more specific praise, “I love the way you put all your clothes in the hamper,” really makes it clear what you liked and what you want your child to repeat.

Keep praise “pure”: This is one that a lot of parents are unaware that they do. The say something great, “I am proud of the ‘A’ you got in geometry. But look at that ‘C’ in English.” Try not to “but” in.

When giving praise, let it stand alone so the impact is powerful and believable.

Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them become what they are capable of being.

Johann Wolfing von Goethe

Let praise plant seeds: Children take in everything you say about them and it sinks deep into their psyche. Take some time to identify the qualities that you would like to see in your child as an adult. If, for example, you would like your child to be a helpful, creative, patient, and thoughtful adult, then, when you praise him/her, tuck in a little “idea” for their future:

• “Thank you for feeding the dog.That was really helpful of you.”

• “You are really good at drawing! You are a very creative kid!”

• “You waited so quietly in line this morning. You are very patient.”

• “Thank you for sharing your sandwich with your sister.

You are so thoughtful.”

Reinforce quickly and consistently: Delays in rewarding the positive behavior will have no effect. This means that you have to put in the extra time to observe our child, but it will pay off in the future.

To avoid confusion about which behaviors you value, it is critical that parents reinforce immediately and that they are consistent about what constitutes appropriate behavior.

It is important to note that positive reinforcement is not just about praise. A reinforcer can be anything that makes the behavior’s rate increase. No two kids are alike and what works with one child will not necessarily impact another. Therefore, it will be important to personalize the reinforcers to the child’s temperament, age, and the situation.

Positive reinforcement is a tried and tested method that works throughout our lives! Positive reinforcement inspires, motivates, and enhances self-esteem. Everyone needs to hear they’re on track and doing well, so spread it around. And, speaking of positive reinforcement, I just caught you doing something right…you read this article from beginning to end!! Congratulations!! www.familyworks.org

September & October, 2010

New Head of School Sees Bright Future Despite State Budget Crisis

By Amy Logan

As programs for Gifted and Talented Education (GATE) across California fall victim to the state budget crisis, many parents of gifted children worry that their children will become bored in traditional classrooms.

In the Bay area, concerned parents have an alternative. Dunham Academy, located in North San Rafael, draws students from Marin as well as Napa, Alameda, San Francisco, Contra Costa and Sonoma counties. The school’s enrollment has increased by 400% and newly appointed head of school Mike Orlando sees bigger things to come.

Orlando notes that California already has among the lowest state funding for gifted students in the country. “Often the assumption is that gifted kids don’t need any extra help, but that’s a myth,” says Orlando, “In fact, children whose social/emotional needs are not met – as is very often the case for gifted kids in school environments not set up for them – frequently underachieve academically.”

And, since there has never been a fed-

eral law requiring special programs for gifted kids, they tend to be overlooked. “Of the three million K-12 students identified as gifted nationwide, 80 percent do not receive instruction geared to their needs and interests, resulting in a dropout rate of 5 to 20 percent,” wrote Education Week ‘s Walt Gardner recently.

“This constitutes an appalling waste of talent.”

“Parents who are aware their child is gifted usually also realize they need a more challenging and individualized curriculum to meet their potential,” says Orlando, a Sausalito resident who officially began his position as Dunham’s new Head of School on Aug. 21.

“The research shows gifted children thrive, both socially and academically, when they are grouped together with their cognitive and age peers,” says Victoria Talkington,

Parents who are aware their child is gifted usually also realize they need a more challenging and individualized curriculum to meet their potential.

September & October, 2010

www.familyworks.org

What To Do If You Suspect Your Child Is Gifted

School Spotlight Chairman of Dunham Academy’s Board of Trustees. Dunham also provides other benefits designed for gifted children including customized, self-paced curriculum, small classes (12 students max), no “busy work” and fully integrated “units of inquiry” that explore a specific theme and incorporate learning across subject disciplines throughout the year.

“As our new Head of School, Mike brings to the table a solid background in best practices for gifted education and, at the same time, he connects quickly with gifted children,” says Talkington. “We have the best of both worlds.”

Orlando is serving in his seventh year with Summer Institute for the Gifted, where he is site director at the UC Berkeley Campus program. He was a member of the Board of Trustees of the Aurora School in Oakland and served for six years as a sixth grade humanities teacher at the Presidio Hill School in San Francisco. Most recently, he has been both an academic tutor and the founding officer of a youth-inspired non-profit that finances the construction of schools in Kenya.

For information call 415-491-4700 or e-mail to info@dunhamacademy.com

Get them tested. Using multiple sources to test for giftedness is the best solution. Public schools are supposed to test based on parent request or teacher recommendation, but parents often must do a lot of persuading to make this happen, says Bryan Peariso, teacher at Marin County’s only school for the gifted, Dunham Academy. “The test may or may not prove useful to shed light on giftedness, but it might be worth it for people who can’t afford to pay a private psychologist to do a testing session. Otherwise, public schools often don’t test until about the third grade. That can be a long time to wait for many gifted children.” On the other hand, private schools for the gifted often test kids as young as four.

Learn as much as you can about giftedness: http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/table_of_contents.htm http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/ http://www.davidsongifted.org/ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giftedness http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gifted_education Encourage your gifted child. Teach them that it is okay if they feel different.

Investigate educational opportunities: In the Bay area, your options for gifted education are: Grades Pre-/K-8: Dunham Academy (San Rafael); Nueva School (Hillsborough); Synapse Institute (Palo Alto); Baywood Learning Center (Oakland) Grades K-3: Helios New School (Palo Alto) Grades 6-8: Odyssey School for the Gifted (San Mateo) Grades 9-12: online high schools:Laureate School for the Gifted and Talented; The Education Program for Gifted Youth (EPGY) at Stanford University Home schooling GATE programs in public schools, which have been drastically cut.

Feed their hunger for knowledge and stimulation.

Support them outside of school: Take them places – museums, lectures, the park, zoo, etc., whatever fits their interest.

Sign them up for extracurricular activities – art, music, sports, dance, chess club, math circle, etc.

Play challenging board games with the family – chess, Scrabble, Boggle, 25 Words or Less, Cranium, Mastermind, etc. New ones come out all the time.

Read as a family. Model reading. Read aloud to the kids. Expose them to great books. Have them read to you. Get them a library card and go regularly.

Support writing at home: in a journal, to a pen pal, to grandma and grandpa, stories to be made into a book, etc.

Watch and discuss interesting and/or educational movies and TV. Netflix has all kinds of interesting videos. Watch shows on history, science, even math.

www.familyworks.org

September & October, 2010

Family Dental Care

NEED A LOAN NOW?

Tired of hearing ‘No” from the banks?

WE CAN HELP YOU! 1-866-807-1363 Bad Credit Welcomed John T. Smith, DDS 915 Sir Francis Drake Blvd., San Anselmo (Across from Red Hill Shopping Center)

415-453-1666

Need someone to talk to?

Schedule an appointment with an

Therapist CALL

(415) 492-0720 10 September & October, 2010

www.familyworks.org

Therapy and Life Skills Center Parenting Programs Child-Centered Co-Parenting

Positive

& Peaceful

Parenting

Parents who are living apart learn how to raise their children harmoniously, keep children “out of the middle” and safely in each of their lives. Parents attend separate classes and learn to:

Learn Keys to Increasing: • Cooperation • Self-esteem • Responsibilty • Communication • Respect • Discipline

Exploring Free!

Motherhood For Expectant & New Mothers (and infants birth to 9 months).

Spanish speaking group: Tuesdays, 10 a.m. to noon at Marin Community Clinic in Novato.

English and Spanish speaking groups Thursdays 10 AM to Noon at Marin Community Clinic in San Rafael.

• Share experiences, ideas, and support • Learn about pregnancy and new parenthood • Learn how to increase infant health & happiness • Learn ways to manage change and decrease stress • Reduce anxiety and depression

• Deal with each other respectfully

Viewing Life Today • Being a Proactive Parent • Identifying Your Universal Principles

• Increase cooperation • Make co-parenting decisions calmly

Growing Great Kids • Understanding How Kids Work • Ensuring Goodness of Fit • Making Work Fun

• Divide child-rearing tasks equitably • Manage constantly shifting schedules

Listening and Talking • Listening Effectively • Decreasing Impulsive Behavior

• Stop tantrums and dawdling

Problem Solving that Gets Results • Using the Magical “When...Then” • Designing Charts that Get Results • Revamping “Time Out”

• End rudeness & backtalk

Feeling More Confident • Being Positive and Persistent • Sharing Successes • Setting Positive Consequences

• Design consequences that work Seven Tuesday evenings: Sept. 14 - Oct. 26, 2010 Earn a certificate of completion at graduation.

Four Tuesday evenings: Oct. 5-26, 2010 Earn a certificate of completion at graduation.

www.familyworks.org www.familyworks.org

415-492-0720 September & October, 2010

11

Therapy and Life Skills Center Therapy Programs Therapy with Children With a wide variety of child-centered expressive arts, includingspecialized sand-tray materials, children bring their thoughts and emotions to the surface allowing the child to build self-esteem and enhance emotional regulation.

Individual Family Therapy and Couples Counseling Concerns, hopes and dreams, as well as practical and effective relationship tools are explored. The result is increased understanding and empathy, more cooperation and more fun in family life through: • Managing Child Behavior • Resolving Hurts and Conflicts • Dealing with Anxiety, Depression and Addictions • Sharing Child Rearing • Planning for Play • Managing Anger • Creating Cooperative Responsible Children

Therapy with Teens FamilyWorks’ skilled therapists work with adolescents to support their journey to adulthood. Using various forms of expressive arts therapy, interactive play/exercises and outdoor activities, teens find new ways to resolve problems, build greater self-esteem and enhance their social skills in ways that support their healthy growth and development.

Utilizing a variety of theoretical approaches, FamilyWorks’ therapists help individuals to develop healthy life skills and increase their social-emotional well being.

We are skilled in helping with a broad range of relationship and psychological issues, including: • Life Stage Transitions • Anxiety • Abuse • Depression • Anger & Conflict • Improved Self-Esteem • Grief & Loss • Stress

Assessment

Using temperament profiles and developmental assessments, parents and children will learn positive skills and design behavior plans that maximize each child’s potential. Therapists consult with teachers and parents, developing behavioral interventions that work at home, play and school. Therapists are available to make home-visits, school observations and attend IEP meetings.

Mental health screenings for anxiety, depression, AD/HD, etc. are available.

Adjustable Fees

www.familyworks.org 12 September & October, 2010

www.familyworks.org

415-492-0720

Therapy and Life Skills Center Family Interactive Therapy

F. I.T Services: When Family members want to improve communication and learn problem solving skills, Family Interactive Therapy at FamilyWorks, offers a unique program.

Initially the parents share concerns with their therapist, followed by an opportunity for the entire family to set and meet their goals. Then, individual family members may be interviewed. An action plan is designed to meet the needs of each individual and the entire family.

Family Meeting

Individual Counseling Families may choose to benefit from the one way mirror option, in which child development assessments are made and family members can practice the skills they are learning with the assistance of a FamilyWorks Therapist. Parents may receive guidance through an ear bud as the therapist observes interactions through the one-way mirror.

One-way Mirror Option

www.familyworks.org www.familyworks.org

415-492-0720 September & October, 2010

13

Therapy and Life Skills Center Support for Individuals with Developmental Disabilities Parenting Support Services • Parenting and Co-Parenting • Childbirth Education • Child Development and Family Planning • Behavior Management and Stress Reduction • Early Intervention in Postpartum Depression • Positive and Peaceful Discipline

• Injury Prevention, Nutrition, and Exercise • Household Management, and Transportation • Financial Management and Budgeting • Development of Social Support Systems • Linkage with Others Services

• Family Health Promotion and Hygiene

Independent Living Skills • Academic Growth

• Hygiene and Self-care

• Behavior Management

• Housekeeping

• Stress Reduction Skills

• Transportation Skills

• Injury Prevention

• Community Access

• Nutrition

• Employment Readiness

• Health Promotion and Exercise

• Financial Management and Budgeting

• Development of Social Support Systems

CPR & First Aid Classes Saturday, July 17 CPR - 9:30 AM to 1:00 PM First Aid - 1:15 to 4 PM

Learn infant, child and adult choke-saving and CPR and how to apply these skills in emergencies. You will have

www.familyworks.org 14 September & October, 2010

www.familyworks.org

hands-on practice, receive a CPR skill book and a National Safety Council Certification upon completion.

415-492-0720

Tips To make Halloween More Enjoyable For Your Pets While Halloween can be a good time for children and adults alike, the Humane Society of the United States is reminding pet owners that this haunting holiday may be too scary for your pet.

Companion animals aren’t used to the doorbell-ringing, costumed creatures and general hustle-and-bustle that come into our homes at this time of year.

“For your pet’s comfort and safety, the best thing that you can do is to make sure that they have a stressfree holiday,” according to Adam Goldfarb, director of the “Pets at Risk” program for the Humane Society of the United States. “The noises, smells and people can be overwhelming for many pets on Halloween, so create a safe haven in one room of your home where they can quietly relax.”

To help keep pets safe and happy this Halloween, the HSUS recommends the following tips: Keep your pets safely indoors, away from trick-or-treaters and other Halloween activities.

Make sure that all of your pets are wearing tags with current ID. Opening the door repeatedly for trick-or-treaters creates plenty of escape opportunities.

Keep candy out of your pets’ reach. Chocolate and other ingredients can be toxic to them.

Most pets are happiest wearing nothing but their birthday suit, but if you do choose a costume for your pet, forgo masks and make sure costumes are comfortable and do not pose a risk for injury.

Decorations can be dangerous, so be sure to keep them safely away from pets. Candle flames can set fire to a pet’s fur. Hanging or dangling decorations can be an entanglement or choking hazard to some animals.

Use fake cobwebs sparingly, if at all. Pets can choke on fake cobwebs set up indoors. Outdoors, fake webs may be a hazard to birds and wildlife.

When going out trick-or-treating, leave your dog at home.

Dogs can be easily excited by the Halloween commotion and a dog bite or lost dog will quickly end the evening’s fun.

Don’t forget about wildlife on Halloween, either. Nocturnal animals, such as raccoons, opossums and foxes will be out looking for food. If you come across a wild animal

www.familyworks.org

continued on page 23

September & October, 2010

15

Can Teaching Self Regulation Help Close the Achievement Gap?

By Angela Yeager

A new study adds to the mounting evidence that self-regulation – or children’s ability to control their behavior and impulses – is directly related to academic performance and help young, at risk and disadvantaged students close the academic achievement gap between themselves and upper middle class students.

A key finding in that study shows that at-risk children who can selfregulate have higher reading, math and vocabulary achievement.

The study was conducted by thenOregon State University graduate student Michaella Sektnan, who did the research as her master’s thesis working with Megan McClelland, an associate professor at OSU and a nationally recognized leader in the areas of self-regulation and early childhood development. Sektnan is now a faculty research assistant for OSU Extension Family and Community Health.

In her paper to be published in a fall edition of Early Childhood Research Quarterly, Sektnan used data on 1,298 children from birth through the first grade from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Develop16 September & October, 2010

ment (NICHD) Study of Early Child Care and Youth Development. “Family risk” in the data was defined by ethnic minority status, low maternal education, low family income and chronic depressive symptoms in the mother.

“We know that these risk factors can lead to a gap in academic achievement,” Sektnan said. “The relationship to risks such as poverty, ethnic status, and maternal education has been well-documented. What we wanted to know was, controlling for these factors, does self-regulation make a difference?”

It turns out the answer to that question is yes. Controlling for these risk factors, by identifying them for each of the families in the study and paying particular attention to the results of at risk children, Sektnan found that children whose parents and teachers reported that they had strong www.familyworks.org

Self-regulation Education Begins at Home

by Lew Tremaine

As parents and early educators digest the notion that children who know how to regulate their emotions do better academicly, an obvious conclusion is that teaching self-regulation skills should be part of the pre-school and kindergarten curicula. And surely, the results of the Sektnan/McClelland Study make a strong case for self-regulation education in early childhood settiings.

But it is as important to recognize that children of parents who lack selfregulation skills are at a great disadvantage when it comes to learning to control their emotions.

The truth is, success in any social endeavor - especially parenting - hinges on one’s ability to stay calm in a heated or uncomfortable moment. Hence, selfregulation is the cornerstone of many parenting classes.

Early childhood educators, while addressing the regulation skills of the children in their care, would do well to look for resources that provide the parents they serve with opportunities to learn the same skills. Just like math and reading, home support for practice of regulation skils is vital to mastery.

Parents of young children who are prone to melt-downs or who freeze up in stressful situations would do well to consider their own coping skills.

APPLE FamilyWorks offers consultation to preschools on a variety of behavior issues through its ACTT program. The agency also offers a class for parents, Positive and Peaceful Parenting, which focuses on teaching self-regulation skills to parents so they can teach them to their children.

Please see page 11 and 12 of this issue for more information or call (415) 492-0720 with questions.

self-regulation in preschool and kindergarten did significantly better on math, reading and vocabulary at the end of first grade.

“For all outcomes, higher selfregulation was related to higher reading, math and vocabulary, regardless of which risk factor was present,” Sektnan said. “This builds on the increasing body of knowledge about the need to develop self-regulation skills in young children.”

To give an example, McClelland points to the test scores of the children in this national survey. At-risk children with stronger self-regulation in kindergarten scored 15 points higher on a standardized math test in first grade, 11 points higher on an early reading test, and nearly seven points higher on a vocabulary test than at-risk children with weaker self-regulation.

“These were pretty impressive increases in children’s achievement,” McClelland said. “I’m a proponent of building self-regulation in children but even for me, these results were surprising. The discrepancy between these children, tested at a very young age, and their academic scores compared to their peers who were not as able to regulate their behavior was larger than we anticipated.”

McClelland, who has developed simple games such as the Head-to-

Toes task to measure self-regulation and predict academic achievement, said it is obvious that in the case of at-risk children, merely focusing on self-regulation skills won’t be enough.

“Obviously, these issues – poverty, educational status, maternal depression – are extremely serious and must be addressed,” she said.

In addition to the above social factors, individual temperament traits are also an important consideration and should be addressed when assessing a young student’s true self-regulation skills and academic readiness. Children who are assessed in the higher ranges for the temperament traits of activity, intensity and persistence are at risk of having their self-regulation skills or academic readiness underestimated. This is particularly true in situations where the learning environment is not a good fit for children with these temperament traits.

Temperament is often overlooked in academic assessment and was not specifically factored or controlled for in the Sektnan/McClelland Study. However, some temperament related traits were observed to assess the children’s regulation skills. Ability to focus (distractibility), and ability to stay on task (persistence) were used as measurements. Also, considered was inhibitory control. These factors were observed and reported at 54 months-old by both parents and teachers using subscales from the Child Behavior

Questionaire (CBQ;Rothbart, Ahadi, Hershey, &Fisher, 2001).

“We now know that we can also help children be successful by teaching them how to self-regulate,” McClelland concluded McClelland added that the data is clearer now than ever: a child that can listen, pay attention, follow instructions, and persist on a task, even if faced with what seems to be giant hurdles at a very young age, will achieve greater success in school.

“Self-regulation is not just about compliance or being obedient,” McClelland said. “It’s about a very basic, but very necessary skill: being able to listen and pay attention, think, and then act. The message to parents may be to put down the flash cards and see if another approach, like playing a simple game of ‘Simon Says’ works better.”

Alan Acock of OSU and Frederick Morrison of the University of Michigan assisted on this study, which included funding support from the National Institute of Child and Human Development and the National Science Foundation.

Temperament discussion added by FamilyWorks’ Magazine Editor, Lew Tremaine.

It is obvious that in the case of at-risk children, merely focusing on self-regulation skills won’t be enough...poverty, educational status, maternal depression – are extremely serious and must be addressed. www.familyworks.org

September & October, 2010

17

By Jessica Dore

ADHD Diagnosis?

by Jessica Dore

As parents, we love our kids so much that we dread that fateful call— the teacher calling to report that your child is misbehaving, underachieving or that they should be tested for ADHD. Don’t panic. Dr. Lara Honos-Webb, author of The Gift of ADHD (2nd Ed.) knows just how to handle the situation.

18 September & October, 2010

Don’t Panic!

Be Aware of Your Child’s Environment

Explore contexts that are explanations for the behavior, like external stressors. Consider any relevant changes in your family in terms of finances, physical and mental health issues, or other significant factors. Also take into account nutritional factors: too much sugar and skipping breakfast are both linked to difficulty concentrating.

Seek Solutions

Ask the teacher, “What are we going to do to support her?”

Children need to learn how to learn and every stumbling block in education is not brain dysfunction. Your child may simply need repetition, practice of basic skills, and coaching to excel in school.

Consider That Your Child May Not be the Problem

Sometimes our children’s learning style and profile of strengths and weaknesses mean that they need accommodations. While changing schools may not be an option, you can still protect your child’s passion and motivation by encouraging her to pursue those things that draw their attention.

www.familyworks.org

Be a Good Listener

When a child has a conflict with a teacher or classmates, our first approach should be to listen to the child’s complaints. Consider that some teachers may not be the best fit for your child, and likewise for classmates. Bullying does happen, and it has proven long-term consequences. Ask your child how she sees the problem, listen, and take it seriously.

Define Abnormal

“In active boys, it is completely normal for them to display some rambunctious behavior,” says Dr. Honos-Webb. There are tons of creative ways to channel physical energy, and allowing productive release of such energy can alleviate or even eliminate many socalled problems.

Translate “Symptoms” into “Needs”

Be an advocate for your child’s unique needs. For example, hyperactivity is a need for physical activity.

“When your child’s teacher points to a problem, think about ways to translate it into a specific need that can be met with support from you and the school,” says Dr. Honos-Webb.

Look Within

“Your child receives emotional nourishment from her parents, so if you are having trouble, she may be taking in your emotional pain,” says Dr. Honos-Webb.

Remember:The Call From the Teacher is Not a Diagnosis

There are many factors that may contribute to your child’s difficulty concentrating or disruptive behavior in class. Contrary to increasingly popular belief, ADHD should be the last possible explanation explored, not the first.

Be an Optimist

A child’s strengths can be a resource for patching up a weakness. Focus on the positive attributes commonly found in children with ADHD: Creativity, emotional sensitivity, exuberance, interpersonal intuition, and connection to nature.

Creating a list of your child’s many gifts before returning a teacher’s phone call, or going into a parent-teacher meeting may help you maintain a positive outlook.

Dr. Lara Honos-Webb is a licensed clinical psychologist based in California who specializes in the treatment of ADHD. Her work has been featured in Newsweek, Wall Street Journal, Publisher’s Weekly and many newspapers across the country. She is the author of The Gift of ADHD, The Gift of ADHD Activity Book, Listening to Depression and more than twenty-five scholarly articles. www.familyworks.org

September & October, 2010

19

Music Together of Marin Announces New Co-Directors and Locations

In addition to locations in San Anselmo, Ross, Corte Madera and Mill Valley, this fall, Crespan and Heller will be opening three new Marin locations in Central San Rafael, Terra Linda, and Tiburon. The public is invited to attend free demonstration classes the week of September 6th.

Beth Crespan, has announced that her popular early-childhood music education program, Music Together of Marin, has a new co-director, Meredith Heller.

Together, Crespan and Heller will be growing the business in new directions. “Working together as a team will allow us to collaborate creatively to bring more energy to the program’s offerings and reach even more families,� says Crespan, founder and director of the Marin music program.

In addition to locations in San Anselmo, Ross, Corte Madera and Mill Valley, this fall, Crespan and Heller

s 3ONGS s s #HANTS s s -OVEMENT s s )NSTRUMENT 0LAY A LONGS s s -IXED AGE CLASSES s (Infant - 4.5 years)

-53)# 4/'%4(%2 /& -!2).ÂŽ -ILL 6ALLEY s #ORTE -ADERA 3AN !NSELMO s 2OSS s 4IBURON s 3AN 2AFAEL s 4ERRA ,INDA #ALL "ETH AT 415.456.6630 WWW MUSICTOGETHEROFMARIN COM 20 September & October, 2010

www.familyworks.org

will be opening three new Marin locations in Central San Rafael, Terra Linda, and Tiburon. The public is invited to attend free demonstration classes the week of September 6th.

Music Together is a family music education program for infants, toddlers, preschoolers and their families and caregivers. “The goal is to share music with families so they can bring the music back home,� says Crespan. Music Together classes are forty-five minutes long and include an artistically conceived flow of songs, nursery rhymes, instrumental jam sessions, finger-plays, and movement activities. The combination and types of activities are research-based and support children to develop the ability to naturally sing in tune and keep a beat.

Class activities evolve from the child’s

world and include vocal play, rhythm play, animal sounds, and a good bit of genuine, silly fun. “I’m always inspired and learning new ways to engage families with the wonderful collections of Music Together songs and activities,” says Crespan.

“I feel as enthusiastic today as I did in the beginning teaching this program.”

Children and adults sing and dance together in mixed-ages classes, playing percussive and tonal instruments (including bells, sticks, shakers), and experimenting with props such as scarves, streamers and parachutes.

Teachers model live music making by playing a range of instruments in class, from guitars to violins to flutes.

Music Together of Marin’s families often form an intimate community in class, and many stay together through the program’s three-year cycle of nine rotating collections of original and traditional music.

Families take home recorded CDs and songbooks so they can become familiar with the music used in class.

Music Together collections feature a global array of instruments, tonalities and rhythms in each 25-song recording. “It’s a fantastic vocabulary of music to share with children,” says Crespan.

A former preschool teacher, performer, and early childhood music specialist, Crespan was Marin’s first

Music Together teacher and director.

She started her program with a single class in Mill Valley in 1998. Thirteen years later, her program has evolved to serve over 400 Marin families in four locations throughout Marin including a Music Together Studio in San Anselmo.

Heller, a performing singer/songwriter, poet, holistic body-worker, and educator, is a new and passionate certified Music Together teacher. She

has master’s degrees in education and writing and served as Poet-in-Residence in the alternative high schools in Boulder, CO for five years. “Teaching Music Together allows me to engage all the best parts of myself, share the joy of music, and work with children, which is a gift in my life,” says Heller.

To register visit www.MusicTogetherofMarin.com for more information or call (415) 456-6630.

Marinscope Community Newspapers Six Newspapers...

NOVATO ADVANCE

...With 52 Pages of Marin County News Reaching More Than 76,300 Readers Every Week!

For More Information Call

415-892-1516

NOVATO ADVANCE • SAN RAFAEL NEWS POINTER • ROSS VALLEY REPORTER TWIN CITIES TIMES • MILL VALLEY HERALD • SAUSALITO MARIN SCOPE

www.familyworks.org

September & October, 2010

21

2010 School Directory The German Language School of Marin We provide students with affordable, yet highly qualified instruction about the language, customs, history and culture of German speaking countries.

Classes are given on Saturdays from 9:30 am - 12:00 noon and are open to anyone interested in learning German. www.germanschoolmarin.com

Marin Country Day School is a warm, inclusive, diverse community guided by core values of respect, responsibility and compassion.

Children develop into excellent learners and good people through a broad-based, highly participatory curriculum. The vibrant spirit of all involved engage to make MCDS a

Lycée Français La Pérouse The only full French immersion school from PK through 12th grade in San Francisco and Marin (Corte Madera). A strong English program complements the authentic curriculum established by the French Ministry of Education.

Our college preparatory school is ideal for engaged and active learners, ready to become multi-lingual world citizens. Open House: Nov 9. www. lelycee.org.

22 September & October, 2010

www.familyworks.org

good place for children. Primary points of entry are at kindergarten and grade 6. www.mcds.org.

Marin Waldorf School Pre-K through 8th grade. Our curriculum provides a rigorous academic education including foreign languages, arts, music, movement,

2010 School Directory and community festivals. Our program fosters critical thinking, emotional and social intelligence, and physical activity. Marin County’s only accredited Waldorf School.

Open House November 6th 10am – noon. (415) 479-8190 x 102. www. marinwaldorf.org The Mountain School provides quality, play-based care for preschoolers and Kindergartners in a cozy setting with dedicated, highly qualified teachers. Imaginative play, practical tasks, and rain-or-shine outdoor time alternate with stories, songs, and wholesome snacks. After these happy days “just being kids” our children, we’re told, go home singing! www.themountainschool.net San Domenico School Parents: Have you ever felt forced to choose between a competitive

school and a supportive one? At San Domenico School we don’t see a necessary distinction between highachieving students and happy, wellbalanced children. Find out more by touring our beautiful San Anselmo campus. Call 415-298-1905 or go to www.sandomenico.org/visit

Marin Tutors — A Recipe for Success —

Tutoring and Home Schooling AP levels for all Subjects K–12 in Home Tutoring Specializing in Math and Science Highest Quality Tutors Affordable Rates success@marintutors.com

www.marintutors.com

415 378-3324

Halloween and Pets continued from page 15

while out trick-or-treating, your best bet is to keep your distance (and keep your pets away from wild animals, too).

And though bats are classically associated with Halloween, those in colder climates will most likely be hibernating at this time of year.

Paying heed to the tips above, we can all work together to keep our beloved pets and our wild neighbors safe this Halloween.

The Humane Society of the United States is the nation’s largest animal protection organization — backed by 11 million Americans, or one of every 28. For more than a half-century, The HSUS has been fighting for the protection of all animals through advocacy, education and hands-on programs.

Celebrating animals and confronting cruelty — On the web at www.humanesociety.org.

Piano & Recorder Lessons Artistry and joy = first focus 25 years experience Your home or mine

Drina Brooke (415) 892-6452

SAN DOMENICO

www.familyworks.org

September & October, 2010

23

October is GMO Education Month Join Good Earth in Celebrating the first ever NON-GMO Day and NON-GMO Month Good Earth is proud to announce its participation in 10.10.10, a day to celebrate a consumer’s right to choose non-GMO, raise awareness about the issue, and promote products that are Non-GMO Project Verified.

“Good Earth is very concerned with health issues associated with consuming a diet containing GMO foods. We support the Non-GMO Project in its commitment to helping ensure we can to grow foods free from GMO contamination.”

– Mark Squire, Good Earth President and Non-GMO Project Board Member

NATURAL & ORGANIC FOODS 1966 Sir Francis Drake Blvd. • Fairfax 415-454-0123 • genatural.com