Asian Outlook | Fall 2021 Issue #1

ASIAN OUTLOOK

Winter 2021 Vol. XLI, Issue 1

FEATURING® FALL 2021

A Recap of Johnson & Johnson’s COVID-19 Vaccine Craze: Why its Pause was Necessary in the United States Nationality-Blank American

Volume XLI, Issue 1

contents ASIAN OUTLOOK 2 ASIAN OUTLOOK

featured 4 | A Recap of Johnson & Johnson’s COVID-19 Vaccine Craze: Why its Pause was Necessary in the United States | Masatami Cauller 10 | Nationality-Blank American | Kathryn Lee

editorials 6 | Genshin Impact and Proliferation of Culture II: A Study of Liyue’s Architecture | Serena Gao & Courtney Fu 9 | My Dad is a Janitor | Jasmine Ku 12 | Fantastic Boba Spots and Where to Find them | Vivian Zhu 14 | Too Much | Emma Park

conscience 16 | Kimchi Fried Rice | Rachel Choi

20 | eyes | Erica Juarez

17 | Vegan Banana Bread | Satnadar Kaur

22 | Stop Asian Hate | Kathryn Kwon

18 | Meet Their Expectations | Alura Tom

23 | Fortune Fish | Kaysie Liang

19 | Orion | Jack Byun

24 | ATRAXIA | Anita Liu 25 | Untitled | Celeste Pietrzak

letter from the editor...

Dear Readers, Depending on when you read this, congrats! I’m writing this during finals week, so congrats on finishing finals and the semester!

Alternatively, congrats on starting the semester! Congrats on choosing such an excellent magazine to read! And more importantly, thank you.

Thank you, contributors, for submitting your recipes, your poems, your family, yourselves.

Thank you, magazine team, for editing even during the break and throughout finals. This magazine is only possible because of your hard work.

Though written by strangers, these are stories that are familiar to all of us. This magazine is an ode to all the immigrant families who work around the clock to make ends meet. This is a love letter to those who feel alone and unseen. This is a reminder that you belong, no matter what you look like or how you speak.

Thank you for reading, and enjoy the magazine!

Michelle Tan Editor-in-Chief

ASIAN OUTLOOK EXECUTIVE BOARD FALL 2021 President Vice President Editor-in-Chief Conscience Editor Financial VP Secretary Events Coordinator Copy Editors

Layout Editors Publicity Media Producers

General Interns Graduate Advisors

Grace Chen Anita Liu Michelle Tan Celeste Pietrzak Shirley Dong Courtney Fu Kaysie Liang Masatami Cauller Mike Natrella Jessica Kwok Kathryn Lee Anna Liu Megan Pan Courtney Fu Jessie Fan Crystal Lin Claire Choi Jasmine Ku Kaitlin Wan Michael Evans Kathryn Kwon Vivian Zhu Samuel Atkin Thamid Islam

EDITORIAL POLICY

Asian Outlook is the art, literary and news magazine of the Asian Student Union of SUNY’s Binghamton University. Originally conceived and created to challenge, redefine, re-imagine and revolutionize images and perceptions associated with Asians and Asian Americans, Asian Outlook also serves to protect the voice of those in the minority, whether by ethnicity, gender, and/or political orientation. All matter contained within these beautiful pages do not necessarily reflect the views of the editorial board. Asian Outlook reserves the right to edit submissions and publish work as deemed appropriate. Prospective contributors are encouraged to discuss their work with the editors prior to submissions. All submissions may be submitted as e-mail attachments to ao.editor@ gmail.com.

CONTACT POLICY

Uninvited contact with writers and contributors is strictly prohibited. Please direct all questions, comments and complaints to ao.editor@gmail.com.

E-mail us at: ao.editor@GMAIL.com For more info check us out on facebook: FACEBOOK.com/asianoutlook/ Look at our past issues on Issuu: ISSUU.com/asianoutlook Inside Outlook Podcasts: SOUNDCLOUD.com/asianoutlook3

Vol. XLI, Issue I 3

A Recap of Johnson & Johnson’s COVID-19 Vaccine Craze: Why its Pause was Necessary in the United States

O

By Masatami Cauller

n Tuesday April 13th, 2021, the US rollout of Johnson & Johnson’s single-shot Covid-19 vaccine was paused ^CT TCT ] TTC 3;A⁄4k^ k;C CHC4CTC kC; fC fAl TfC CDC ACCCT ]T DkCC CTA and the FDA (Food and Drug Administration) came together to formally recommend a pause in J&J covid R44kC ;kTk3k ^CT ] kß 4C ] fC 3;A⁄4 k;C CHC4 CTC TCTC;Al kf W RCT CRC million Americans already given the shot at the time of its pausing, six total cases of blood clots were reported all in C ^C ªA⁄ ªV A‘ 3CCC kß fkTCC ; ^CT TC4CkRk^ fC kkk fAl S4kCk[4A‘ fk TC4k k 4C; 4CTC3T RC k fT3k ACVSTAA‘ fCTC 3; 4 ]k^ k ; fC 3Tk 4 4C CTk 3;k damage and in some cases, even death. Dr. Anthony Fauci--head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases--supported the FDA’s and CDC’s decision, stating that they were utilizing “an abundance of caution” and emphasized the temporary state of the vaccine’s pausing.

What is CVST and Why Has it Become Apparent in the J&J Covid Vaccine?

CVST k CßTCC TTC ]T ] TCA‘ fk4f 34 3; ]T CRk^ fC 3TkAl I HC4 [RC CC in a million, and symptoms include blurred vision, headaches, seizures, and potentially death. The reason why CVST resulted from the vaccine is because of thrombocytopenia, a medical condition where blood cells that help form blood clots (called platelets) become reduced to increasingly low levels, causing uncontrollable bleeding. The six patients experiencing CVST from the vaccine were previously diagnosed with thrombocytopenia, which created an adverse reaction to the vaccine’s antibodies. Normally, white blood cells target any antibodies deemed dangerous to the body by 3k;k^ kf fCA‘ 3 k fC 4C ] fC kf fT34CkA‘ fCkT fkC 3; 4C 3k; kf ;kHCTC TCk triggering their blood cells to develop clots. These clots are both unnecessary and dangerous for the body to make and with a vast amount of clots spreading throughout the body and having no way of stopping them, CVST symptoms ;CRC fCC 4 TC CRk^ fC 3TkAl I ;;kkA‘ k;kRk; HCTk^ ]T CkfCT CVST T fT34Ck take blood thinners as treatments for these clots, but medical research states otherwise: in this case, such medication could make the situation worse. This lack of treatment supports the CDC’s and FDA’s decision to pause the shot, wanting to gain more information about the situation at hand.

The FDA’s, ACIP’s, and CDC’s Decision to Reinstate the Vaccine: A^CT kkk C;Tk^ fC k^ ] JJ CRk;A⁄ R44kC TC; Tk A fA‘ A‘ ^T ] fC FDAA‘ CDCA‘ and ACIP met twice on April 14th, 2021 and April 23rd, 2021 to discuss the state of the vaccine and potential solutions ]T 3Tk^k^ k 34Al O fC k^f ] fC T;A‘ ]C;CT fCf I4k TCTCCk^ fCC ^T ;C4k;C; k A⁄ V RC k^ fC C ] fC R44kCA‘ k^ fC 3CC[ ] fC f ]T Ck^f Tk ] TTC C ] 3; 4Al I CHT 4kT4RC ;;kk CVST 4C ; ^CCT ßkC 3 fC R44kCA‘ fC FDA ; Jf Jf have now updated the vaccine’s label to strictly specify a warning about developing blood clots like CVST. Acting FDA commissioner Janet Woodcock had this to say about the 10-4 decision: “We have concluded that the known and potential 3CC[ ] fC AO Jf JfA CRk;A⁄ R44kC Ck^f k ; Ck TkAl Tfk k ;C4kk fC ^C4kC TC4fC; k^f ; CATC 4[;C f fC R44kC CC T T3 ;T; ]T ]CA‘ CHC4kRCC ; kAlA” ORCTA‘ fk ;C4kk C ; ]C;CT I4k 4C ^k TCC ^kRk^ fC R44kCA‘ ; T4C;TC will include giving fact sheets and additional communication materials about the shot’s potential symptoms and fCfA⁄4TC TRk;CT ;Rk4CAl B ;;TCk^ 4f 4k4k ; C4k[4 k;Ck]k^ ^T fk^fCT Tk ]T developing serious blood clots, Americans can safely resume the J&J vaccination process. Ultimately, having a third R44kC 34 k fC UAlSAl 4 fC R44kk ^ k fC ^ ] TC4fk^ fCT; kkA‘ C4k[4 3C4C fC JJ vaccine only requires one dose.

4 ASIAN OUTLOOK

Why Getting Vaccinated is Important, Even With Risks of Getting CVST: While complications from CVST related symptoms are serious, it’s clear how extremely rare developing CVST from the vaccine is. As of March 3, 2021, eight million J&J shots have been administered in the United States and [^CC 4C ] fk fRC 44TTC;Al I ;;kkA‘ ;4T 4T ACTk4 4kC TkC fC JJ R44kC CRCkf 4f k;C CHC4A‘ 4f fC Ck ] R3CT BT;A‘ ;kTC4T ] HC^ Jf Hk UkRCTkAl HC C fA‘ A„ TfC 3CC[ ] fC R44kC ]T Ck^f fC TkA‘ C k fC ;CT kA”A‘ ; [T 3CkCRC f fC Tk ] ;CRCk^ 3; 4 ]T CßCTkC4k^ COVIDA⁄ k 4f fk^fCT f fC kCkf; ] ;CRCk^ 4 ]T ^Ck^ R44kC;Al A„IA RCT CHC4kRCR44kCA‘A” fC TCkCTCAl I ;;kkA‘ AMA CfkC] HCf ; S4kC4C OI4CT MkT IT AMDA ; AMAA kk ]T fC CDC S;T FTf]CT AMDA fk^f C;TC; fC R44kCA 43kkkCA‘ fk^fk^fk^ k CHC4kRCTC k TCRCk^ CRCTC COVIDA⁄ symptoms, in particular emphasizing how the J&J vaccine prevents hospitalization and serious breathing issues.

Dr. Fauci states that for people who already received the vaccine over a month ago, they are safe from developing any CVST related symptoms to the vaccine. But if people have had the shot administered to them recently and 3C^k CßCTkC4C CVST TCC; AC4k[4 CRCTC fC;4fCAfC CT ; ^C k 4f kf fCkT ;4T kC;kCAl FT fC 4]C; 3 fC kCkC ]T CßCTkC4k^ CVST ^CT fC fA‘ F4k explains, “If you look at the time frame where this occurs, it’s pretty tight, from six to thirteen days from the time of the vaccination.” Overall, individuals who got or want to get vaccinated with J&J’s single shot should not be TTkC;A‘ fRk^ 3k4 C ; Cßk 4 k;C CHC4 kf R44kC ]TCCC3CAl JJA Covid-19 vaccine was tested initially within smaller demographics in clinical trials, and its results were shown to 3C ]C kf k; ;CTC k;C CHC4 ; ª W. CHC4kRCC TCAl B fC R44kC CCRC ]T 3Ck^ tested in thousands of hand-picked trial participants to millions of everyday people in the US, rare vaccine 4k4k kC CVST CCT^CAl ORCTA‘ ACTk4 f; TCk 4[;C k fC R44kC ; 4kC get the shot.

The Trust of US Residents Towards the J&J Covid Vaccine: The main issue about the pause of the Johnson & Johnson COVID-19 vaccine was how it could potentially decrease public trust in vaccines, highlighted by the Biden administration. In an CHT 43 kA⁄R44kC ^T ; CkCA‘ PTCk;C Bk;C C;TC; fC ]C ; CHC4kRCC ] fCT COVIDA⁄ R44kk AM;CT ; P[CTAA‘ C TCkCTk^ fC CHC4kRCC ] fC JJ f ; fC C ] T ]C;CT fCf I4k had conducted to reinstate the J&J shot. A September 7th, 2021 poll of 600 adults administered by Echelon Ik^f ]; f Wª. ] TC;C CTC TC 4[;C k CRk;A⁄ R44kC ^CT fC CA‘ fCTC . ] TC;C CTC C 4[;C ; .

TCkC; TCAl B }Tk TCA‘ k CC most Americans were not troubled by the vaccine’s CAl kf W fC C3kfC; 44C ] 3f P[CT and Moderna COVID-19 vaccines as well as the newly reinstated J&J single shot vaccine, the end goal of herd immunity looms closer and closer.

Vol. XLI, Issue I 5

Genshin Impact and the Proliferation of Culture II: A Study of Liyue’s Architecture

T

By Serena Gao and Courtney Fu

his article is a continuation of Genshin Impact and the Proliferation of Culture I: A Study of Liyue’s Fashion but can be read standalone (found in the Spring 2021 Issue).

Genshin Impact. You may or may not know what it is, but it’s a game that blew up over the past year. Released

by MiHoYo in the latter months of 2020, it has garnered an incredibly large fanbase with about 21 million registered users. The game is known for its open world scenery that players explore while being engaged in an intriguing plot.

OC ] fC k k fC T; k LkCA‘ kf k ;Ck^ 3C; H ] CfkAl CA W RC fkTk4 ; 4T k^k[44C ] fC 4fk^ f LkC 4fT4CT CTA‘ ; culture behind the design and architecture of Liyue.

TCRk TkC 3 CA CßTC fC fkT

fC ;

Liyue Harbour Liyue Harbour is the main city of the Liyue nation and has become a central prosperous port city of trade and business exchanges.

LkC HT3T ]CTC }T C k ] CfkCC T4fkC4TC k fC CT 3k;k^ k fC 4k fC k;C ] Feng Shui is important to the culture. Feng shui focuses on the arrangement of structures and pieces to create a balance with the natural world. The idea of balance and symmetry appears in many designs of ancient Chinese cities, such as the Forbidden City. The idea of symmetry is not only based on pure aesthetics, but according to Lingnan architectural style, the proportions of the design can have an impact on how one feels. As architecture provides a living environment ]T fA‘ k 3CkCRC; HC4 f fCf k] k T ;Ck^C; kf kTCT TTkAl Tfk 44C of symmetry is prevalent in the design of many Liyue buildings. In many of the structures in Liyue Harbour, there are always an even number of pillars, resulting in an odd number of bays with a door set in the central bay.

There is also a horizontal emphasis in many of these structures. To many of the wealthy, they preferred breadth with T^C T] 4TCC TC CA⁄kkTk^ CHC4AlA‘ CßCkRC Cfk RCTk4 fCk^f TfCT k^fAl The Golden House, which produces all of the currency in the continent, is a prime example of this horizontal emphasis.

Furthermore, feng shui plays a role in the positioning of a structure. It is typically observed that the back of the structure faces an elevated landscape while the front faces water. This is shown in the game through the Yuehai Pavilion with its back facing the mountain range of the nearby slopes while the main entrance faces the harbour. A courtyard or garden is typically located at the front as well to incorporate a sense of nature to the structure. The garden is the only exception to the symmetry requirements, as having asymmetry gives a more organic feeling to connect to the natural world.

Certain architectural styles were also reserved for the Emperor. In the case of the game, the closest representation would be the Liyue Qixing, otherwise the ruling government of the country. One such style is the usage of yellow roof tiles. This is seen in the Golden House which is associated with the God in Liyue (Rex Lapis) as well as the Jade Chamber, the home of the Qixing Golden House Image from MiHoYo (government).

6 ASIAN OUTLOOK

Wangshu Inn Wangshu Inn is a multi-storied hotel set upon a tall rock formation, which serves as a resting spot for merchants travelling in the area.

According to the developers, one of the main inspirations for the design of Wangshu Inn is the Hanging (Xuankong) Temple. Located in the Shanxi province towards the northeast of China, the temple was built into the side ] 4kHA‘ fk4f C k kC kA f^k^ k fC kTA‘ supported only by the thin vertical pillars underneath it.

Wangshu Inn Image from MiHoYo There are two key engineering marvels which allow the H^k^ TCC TRkRC RCT W CT ] ;k;CA‘ earthquakes, and rain erosion.

TfC [T k f fC Ck^f ] fC Rkk ; 4C4k^ T; k4 TC;Al DCkC k CT4CA‘ fC timber pillars under the temple — which are 10cm in diameter and have a tendency to sway--are not the primary load 3CTCTAl TfC TC ; 3CTCT TC fC 4W fTk k3CT 3C ;CT fC CCA‘ kk; k fC 4kHA⁄]4C can build on top of them. These beams protrude out about 1 metre and are estimated to be at least 2 metres deep into the rock, meaning that the temple’s weight is supported by the strength of the mountain rather than the beams themselves.

The use of these horizontal support beams was not novel at the time, being used in imperial palaces, bridges, and residential buildings, but extending this concept to the side of a mountain would have turned heads, and required 4k;CT3 TC CHT 4TRC fC k fC 4kH hold the beams.

The second engineering marvel is in how they preserved the Hanging Temple so that it stands to this day. In the 1990s, the State Administration of Cultural Heritage tried to replace some of these support beams to ensure their ^CRkA‘ 3 f; ^TC ;kI4 k^ fC 3C k fC [T 4CAl U 4CT kC4kA‘ fC ]; CT wooden wedges accompanying the beams in the holes, which served the same function as modern day expansion Image from ChinaDaily bolts: the further into the hole the timber was driven, the Hanging Temple more tightly it would hold to ensure the support beams never fell out on their own. Additionally, to safeguard against termites and other insects, the timber was preC; kf ^ kA‘ ;Tk^ k C; k ; [kfC protect it from corrosion.

It’s safe to assume that Wangshu Inn would be designed and built using similar technology as its real world 4CTTA‘ TC4k^ fC CT4f fRC ]T ];A‘ earthquakes, and other natural disasters for years to come.

Dunyu Ruins D Rk k C ] fTCC 4kC Tk k LkCA‘ with remnants of gilded stone structures built inside a valley. According to the in-game book Records of Jueyun, Dunyu was a fortress city which formed when a star made ] };C ]C ]T fC kCA‘ 3 ^CT ]C f; CTA‘ fC TCk;C ] D C^ ;;C ; CTkAl Dunyu Ruins TfC C D C A„fC ; fk4f 3CC };C ]CCA”

Image from Mihoyo

Vol. XLI, Issue I 7

Dunyu is reminiscent of the fortress city ruins of Shimao, located in the northern part of China. Up until 2011, nearby villagers thought it was a part of the Great Wall and deemed it unimportant, until fC ]; };C k fC T33C fk4f CkfCT characteristic of the great wall nor native to the area.

The existence of Shimao has the potential to revolutionise how individuals view the beginnings of human history. Timber found at the ruins date back to 4300 years ago, or neolithic era China. Yet, Shimao had 6 miles of protective walls and a 230-foot high pyramid which was four times wider than the Great Pyramid of Giza. The existence of non-native };C kkC fC f; T;C TC 4C4k^ northern China to the south, and some of the };C 4TRC; k kRC ATkT;k };C cutter, anyone?) with small holes punched into I^C]T TfC[TNCkfk4T34CCT Diagram of Shimao East Gate fCAl Tfk ]C k ;kI4 4fkCRC CRC 3 on China's north Loess Plateau: The rise and modern standards. fall of Shimao The city incorporated many defensive systems to protect the inhabitants, including barbicans (a tower situated beside a gate for greater visibility) and bastions (a part of the wall which protrudes out to allow guards to attack from a better vantage point), both of which were previously thought to originate from the Han Dynasty and became staples of Chinese defensive architecture.

TfC 4k ] Sfk ]TkfC; ]T f] kCk ; fCA‘ kC fC TCk;C ] DA‘ 3;C; fC 4k ]T reasons unknown to this day.

Conclusion DCkC GCfk I4A ^T^C 4CCT ; T; ;Ck^A‘ ^A⁄kC CT ] fC ^C ;A [; fCCRC ;CTk^ fT^f fC Tk^ k ^C fC C; Al NC CT TC ^C kCTC; k fC ; fC early game exploration, which distracts them from appreciating the surroundings.

This article sheds some light into the parallels between Liyue and the real world, showcasing how art imitates life, and gives us a newfound appreciation for the cultural values and customs which have perpetuated over thousands of years of history.

Image from Mihoyo

8 ASIAN OUTLOOK

My Dad is a Janitor

By Jasmine Ku

“My dad is a businessman,” said the girl in front of the classroom. “My mom is a dentist, and my mom is a teacher,” said the guy next to her. As each student kC; f fCkT TCA }3 CTCA‘ ^ CC; as my turn came closer and closer. I looked around nervously, analyzing each person’s words. Data A‘ T}C4 ^CTA‘ ;Ck^CTA‘ fC k C on. I felt tension begin to well up behind my eyes, forcing me to cover my face out of embarrassment. A million questions raced through my head. “Should I lie or tell the truth? What happens if I tell the truth? fW f;A IC fC TfAm kW I 3C };^C;Am Why do I feel embarrassed?” I paused and wondered as the last question rang in my head. I uncovered my face and took a deep breath in. I mustered as much CT ; 4[;C4C I4; k f C ; looked at the 20 people in the classroom. “My dad is }kTA‘; Tk;TAlA”

My dad would tell me stories about working in a noodle shop, loading food trucks, chopping oxtails and making those chips that go in egg drop soup.

NA‘ ;; T }kT ; ;T Chinese newspaper company. For all of my life, my ; 34C 3CCC ;kHCTC ;TA‘ k^ ÆAlAl ; [ 4k^ fC

AlAl TfC T k;C T ]3 }3 kf lots of money, but they work incredibly hard to keep me in college.

Image from Christine Almeda illustration

Freshman year of college, I heard the phrase A„[TA⁄^CCTkA” ]T fC [T kCAl I ;k;A TC understand what it meant. It was simply a phrase ; kf ;C[kk CAl A^CT CTA‘ IA; kC fk I[ ;CT; f kC 3C [TA⁄ generation college student. Millions of questions and worries go through my head. Will my parents be working for the rest of their lives? Will I be successful enough in the future to support them when they’re old? Am I making the right decision with my life for them? Are they still happy? I don’t know the answers to these questions, and I won’t know until maybe another decade has passed. Sometimes, I feel guilty for procrastinating or doing poorly on an easy assignment. Since my parents are working so hard to make me happy, I should do my best so that their CHT;A^ CAl

Nowadays, I don’t mind telling people what my parents do. If someone doesn’t ask, I won’t tell, but I won’t cover my face in embarrassment. Because of the work they have done and the way they have raised me, I can say that I am proud of them. I’m not afraid to say f ;;k}kTAl

Vol. XLI, Issue I 9

Nationality-Blank American

W

By Kathryn Lee

hen my grandfather died last summer, we burned his clothes at sunset.

In the rice paddy facing the family house where green blades no longer peeked through the water since harvesting season ended, my cousins set down a burn barrel.

A k 4f ]C ]T 4CA T^fCC; [^CTk k fC 3TTCAl I4fC; C 3C^ kT T;A‘ 4k3k^fk^fCT;fk^fCTk]C[ CCT^C;Al

Cotton button-down shirts and dark mid-length pants—clothes that once draped over a man who had been fk [ fCAkC; ]T T f; ; f^A‘ 3TkC]A‘ k fC kTA‘ kC ^C kf 3;A‘ 3C]TC 3Ck^ consumed by the blaze.

My cousins continuously walked in and out of the house, carrying out large bundles of clothing each time.

TfCTC CCC; 3C k[kC ] fk^ 3TA‘ 3 fCTC TfA‘ 4k ^TCCC f fC [TC was at our behest. Not vice versa.

“We stood outside until every last article of clothing that had belonged to my grandfather—a reserved, kind, gentle farmer and father of five—was brought out and incinerated.”

I ;k;A ^T;]fCT T fC TC ] ]k CAl I 3T k ACTk4AFk ^ k M;TkAq kCTA‘ A„3Ck] 4TA” k E^kfAl A; f^f IRkkC; Tk CRCT CTA‘ 4 ] ]C4 k both the local Taiwanese Hokkien dialect and the more universal Mandarin, coupled with my grandfather’s taciturn nature, resulted in a lack of basic communication.

My grandfather represented everything that ostracized me from my family. He spoke Hokkien while I spoke E^kfAq fC ;CT fkC I ^CTAq fC kCCk TkCC fkC I CkRC ACTk4Al A; as the patriarch, it was he who had to act as a microcosm for our entire family’s values and attitude.

HC k; fC 44f ; 4fk^ fC ^CT C A; CkC TCT ] TkCC operas at my grandmother’s pestering) while I squirmed on the faux red leather couch nearby, the humidity painting patchy sweat stains on my tank top. Vacations in Dounan, my grandparents’ ancestral home, were the typical A„fk^A⁄A⁄;A” CT f CRCT k; ;TC;Al OT fC ]C; 3 Tk4C;;kC ; Ck^f3TAl The nearest building was a car dealership across the street and the walk to town took eons under the burning sun, which prided itself on consistently heating the landscape to over 100 degrees Fahrenheit.

But I was secretly grateful that neither of my grandparents spoke much to me. There was less to be ashamed of—neither my broken Mandarin nor my complete ignorance of local customs could be exposed if I didn’t have to say anything. I hid behind my sister when my cousins took us to night markets, endured pointed comments about the way I held my chopsticks (crossed inappropriately at the top, the most obvious sign that I wasn’t purely Asian), and startled at the sputtering sound of the postman’s motorcycle outside our door.

IC fCC R4k ;Tk^ C] k CCA‘ k4 TTk^ 3 3Ck^ C^ C CRCT kC sister turned to converse with our cousins. With my sister occupied for hours on end, the guise that I was busy with something fell apart. This opened the door for my uncles or grandparents to turn their well-meaning but uncomfortable attention toward me. So despite the trademark square-cut face and ruddy cheeks that k;Ck[C;CC3CT] fCLCC]kA‘I]CkC )k^TDA‘]TCk^ETCAl

My grandmother and I would walk through the local supermarket, a huge building akin to Target, my eyes wandering over the items yet struggling to fully read the labels.

I recognized some words here and there: “the,” “best,” “cake,” but it was always the one elusive word like “chocolate,” that would steal from me half the item’s identity. Rinse and repeat for hundreds of other items in the store.

White Chrysanthemums are symbols of mourning in parts of Asia including Taiwan

10 ASIAN OUTLOOK

memorialhaven.wordpress.com

Still, I knew more than I realized when my grandmother introduced me to one of the store employees with whom she had become acquainted on her weekly grocery runs. “This is my granddaughter,” she said, her dark eyes owlish behind large spectacles. “My youngest son’s daughter. She doesn’t understand Mandarin or Hokkien.”

I [C; ; k fkTAl ERCTCA ^T;fCTA‘ 4CA‘ ; 4kA]C fC CC; to preemptively excuse me during their conversations with others. She doesn’t speak Mandarin or Hokkien. Speak freely. She can’t understand you anyway.

“The youngest son who went to America?” The employee leaned forward, eyes glittering with poorly-hidden interest. In Dounan, where people lived and died in the same few square miles, I was an oddity. I gave the employee a tense smile. “Where do you live?”

“New York,” I said in Mandarin, hoping my accent didn’t peek through too much.

“Oh. My nephew lives in Virginia. Vir-gi-nia,” she said, sounding out “Virginia” slowly in Mandarin.

I nodded.

“You know, you shouldn’t lose your connection with your home country. It’s important to be able to speak Mandarin! Don’t forget it.”

This was another theme in Taiwan: every adult that came within a one mile radius of me felt the need to exercise an unspoken, unsolicited form of civic duty by telling me to remember Taiwan! as if I was the second U.S.S. Maine. And each time, I responded with a pasted-on frozen smile, biting back the desire to respond in Mandarin, I know exactly and perfectly what you said about me.

The discomfort I faced during the day carried into the night as I twisted around in the sheets of my tiny 4Al I C CC ^k;C fCT ; kCTA‘ I^C TC; fC 4Ckk^A;C4TC; kf 4 ^; CT f Ik^kC; f; 3CC fC fCk^f ] ßT 34 fC fC fC [T 4T4C; [^ CT ^Al I kCC; fC kCT4k^ 4TC ] C fk^C k;C fC T ; fC 4k4 f ]C; kA 4C fk^ H the hot water for the night.

I twisted. I stared. I imagined. I listened. And I desperately wished I were back in New York.

B fC Tf A‘ CRC fC TC 4]T ] ACTk4 4;A TC4 C ]T ]CCk^ kAl DkHCTC fTC; ] k;Ck C; T; Tk kC f;4H ; C; k kC ;kTC4kAl TkCC C4fC; k every corner of my home in New York, from the Hokkien my parents spoke to each other and the monthly longdistance phone calls with my grandparents I had to stumble my way through. American, on the other hand—loud, brash, proud—whooped and shouted through the unmistakable reality of my New York life, replete with my friends, Hollywood movies and secret stories I had written in English of which I knew my parents would disapprove.

In New York, I could pretend I wasn’t such an enigma to myself. I walked into two-hour weekend Mandarin 4CA‘ 3 C; kf kC TC4C4k ] f If; } CTC;Al I44kC; ]k C Buddhist temples and clasped my hands together in prayer, but all thoughts quickly rushed out of my mind as I bent fC;Al IC 4fA‘ 4fkCRC; ^; ^T;C k E^kf 4A‘ ; 4TTkC; fC [T ^^Ck ] k^ Mandarin as my foreign language.

They slide past each other without touching, like trying to force two magnets of the same polarity “The reality of being AsianT4Al Y k [; TC] ^k^ ]T C fC American—or any nationality blankyou think you have committed to the other. You will fCT fC C;C }] 4fCT ] CC f fRC American—is that you seldom manage fCkT ]CC [T C; k C T;A l PCC f TC to solder together your two worlds.” free from the self-imposed burden to choose.

Your physical features may indicate that you

I tilted my head skyward, watching are strictly nationality blank, but it can mask the the auburn sparks, like little stars, return to uncertainty that swirls and eddies in your stomach. their dark celestial home. The last vestiges Because despite the color of your eyes, hair and skin, ] ^T;]fCTA‘ 4T3C; k fC ]CAl f] ] T ^ ]T Cfk^ ;kHCTCA‘ Everything that made up his life, everything something easier, and the other half chastises its that made him him … gone in a few hours. counterpart for wishing so.

I imagined each spark as a part of my grandfather. His white hair. How thin “I looked down at the withered, dry straw of he’d been in the last year of his life. His arms the rice paddy—the final verdict that harvest around me as a young child, back when I had long passed as barrenness was all that had been light enough to sit on his lap.

My shoes sunk into the gummy remained—and felt relieved I hadn’t known my dirt. No one spoke a word. grandfather better.”

Vol. XLI, Issue I

11

Fantastic Boba Spots &Where to Find Them

By Vivian Zhu

Tired of having no options for bubble tea in Binghamton? Going through boba withdrawal symptoms? As the semester comes to a close and a lot of us return home to the city, here are some NYC boba recommendations and some drinks that you should try!

Machi Machi K-Town | 33 W 32nd St.

Although a bit on the pricey side, Machi Machi is a TkCC 33 f f HCT k;C T^C ] RTkC from fruit teas to milk teas to their signature Panna Cotta drinks. Machi Machi has locations all over the world, with a fairly recent location in the heart of K-town.

M4fk M4fk k ;C[kC 4C f ;kHCT ]T T average boba. Fun fact: This is Jay Chou’s favorite bubble tea store!

You should try: Strawberry Latte with Panna Cotta, Shizuoka Matcha Milk Tea with Panna Cotta.

Xing Fu Tang Ffk^ VA⁄ WMkSAl

Xing Fu Tang is a famous bubble tea shop that is known for its brown sugar bubble tea. At their location in Flushing, Queens, the baristas make the boba by hand ; f fC CkTC T4C ]T T [kfAc Tfk k ;C[kC C ] fC 3C 3T ^T 333C C 4C k[;A‘CC4k k] fRCCCfAl Besides their classic brown sugar drinks, they also make ]Tk C ; C4kArC ;Tk f TC ;C[kC worth a try.

You should try: Brown Sugar Boba Milk, Matcha Boba Milk, Curacao Soda with Giant Handmade Jellies.

12 ASIAN OUTLOOK

Moge Tee

Fresh Meadows | 61-12 182nd St. Flushing | 38-03 Main St. Moge Tee is a bubble tea chain that has expanded all over NYC recently, and is known for their wide range of beverages. They have cheese teas, fruit teas and slushes, milk teas, and yogurt drinks. Moge Tee is perfect for both the summer weather when a fruit tea will help cool H ; fC kCT fC CC; T k C ;TkAl TfC 4fCCC C TC ;C[kC 4kTC; CA‘ 3 A CRCT C T k [TAc PA‘ fC Fresh Meadows location has an extra large size for all the bubble tea enthusiasts out there.

You should try: Fresh Orange Tea, Fresh Red Dragon Fruit Tea, Rose Milk Tea.

Yi Fang

Ffk^ WA⁄ fWV R;Al Chinatown | 67 Bayard St. Yi Fang is another Taiwanese bubble tea shop that HCT ] k C ; ]Tk CAl OC ] fC 3C things about their drinks is that they can be served with pearls (tiny tapioca) instead of regular-sized boba. Their wide range of fruit teas are refreshing any day, especially k] TC k T;kk C ]RTAl TfC HCT C lattes (similar to milk teas), such as black tea latte, taro (tea) latte and matcha tea latte.

You should try: Yi Fang Signature Fruit Tea, Mango Sago Pomelo, Winter Melon Lemon Juice

TSAoCAA

Flushing | 38-04 Prince St. TSAoCAA is a unique bubble tea store located in Flushing, Queens with beverages that you typically ; [; k fCT TCAl TSACAA kßC ] ]RT k fCkT ]Tk C ; f C C4k[4 k teas that are signature to their store. Some examples ] fCkT k C k4;C PC4f Mk TC ; R3 Milk Tea. For their fruit teas, they usually add a lot of ;kHCTC ]Tk kk;C kC; ] } CTRk^ fC k]C; tea like other stores do. Some of their green tea drinks also are served with a bit of slush at the top, making them extremely refreshing.

You should try: Mango Green Tea, Lychee Green Tea, Peach Oolong Milk Tea.

Photos from Getty Images, Machi Machi US, Xing Fu Tang, Postmates, and Uber Eats

Vol. XLI, Issue I 13

TOO MUCH

By Emma Park

I met this guy the other day. After talking with him for an hour, he looked at me and said, “You’re a lot more American than I thought you were.”

I was offended for conflicting reasons.

At first, I denied being more “American.” What about me struck him as so particularly American? Was I less sophisticated than he was expecting? Did I not seem culturally in-tune? Is it because I’m not fluent in Korean, or because I said I watch “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”?

Was he implying some sort of cultural loss on my part? Then, I wondered why he had expected me to be less American than I actually was. I felt indignant. Did he think I was a FOB, or something? Was my first impression super-Asian somehow? Was it the way I dressed or the way I spoke?

Between being too Asian or too American, I’m not sure which one I’d choose.

I’ve always been indecisive about what my Asian Americanness means to me. I assumed that the two halves of my identity had to be proportional, at least outwardly. I couldn’t be too Asian, but I couldn’t be too American either.

I floated in the ambiguous center, perched in the precarious grey area labeled, “Asian, but not from Asia.”

Asian, but just enough to be socially acceptable.

I have written plenty of pieces about being Asian American since I was in middle school—blog posts, college essays, research papers—but I’m realizing that I focused mainly on how others perceive my identity, not how I perceive it. I wrote about race, about otherness, about the seemingly universal Asian American experience of being asked “Where are you from?” So when threatened with the choice of being called a FOB or a “banana,” I was at a loss. Why is it so hard to stay in the middle of them?

Ultimately, I feel like I shouldn’t have to worry about that. I am Asian American, which isn’t simply about the amount of cultural experiences I’ve had or the languages I speak, or where I live. And since I am unquestionably Asian American, what that personally means to me should be solely defined by the way I live my life.

14 ASIAN OUTLOOK

CONS

CIENC

Vol. XLI, Issue I 15

E

Image from New York Times Cooking

Kimchi Fried Rice

By Rachel Choi

Ingredients

Instructions

• • • • • •

1. In a nonstick skillet or pan, preheat on mediumlow heat and add oil or butter 2. ;; A 4 ; k4fk ; ]T ]T W minutes 3. ;; A Tk4CA‘k4fk }k4C ; CC k ; kT with a spatula 4. Y 4 ;} fC ] C4f k^TC;kC your preference WAl Crack eggs into the fried rice and mix till cooked 6. Optional: Add cheese 7. Serve with roasted seaweed and preferred side dishes

2 cups cooked rice 1 - 1 ½ cups kimchi W3Ck4fk}k4C 6 ounces (about half a container) spam 3 tablespoons sesame oil 2 eggs

Serve with cheese and roasted seaweed Adjust and measure with your heart because that’s what I do!!<3

16 ASIAN OUTLOOK

Vegan Banana Bread

By Satnadar Kaur

: s t n e i Ingprcaenodla/vegetable oil

ngItVegan

yummy!

Photo from Lo vi

1/2 cu r sugar 3/4 cup all-purpose flou 1 1/2 cups baking soda n 1 teaspoo salt n 1 teaspoo vanilla extract ups) n c 1 teaspoo e bananas (1 1/2 p 3 very ri : Optional chips, nuts e chocolat

ing a fork 1. In one bowl, mash bananads us mix oil, sugar and d an ad l, w bo ze si m iu ed m a 2. In vanilla extract

ll(a s nt ie ed gr in y dr e th ft si 3. In a large bowl, salt) purpose flour, baking soda ansdand mixture from 4. Combine and mix the banana bowl the medium bowl into the largse or nuts (walnuts, ip 5. (Optional) Add chocolate ch topping) almonds, etc./ save some foree Fahrenheit s gr de 5 32 to en ov e th t ea eh 6. Pr pour batter d an n pa af lo se ea Gr d: ea Br r 7. Fo s or add liners. ay tr e ak pc cu se ea Gr : ns fi uf M r Fo full Fill each liner 2/3 of the way m

a l ti un , in 0 -2 15 y el at im ox 8. Bake for appr n comes out Vclolea er nt ce e th in ed rt se in k ic .

XLI, Issue I 17 hp ot to

Meet THEIR Expectations: When you strive to make THEM proud, what is the cost? Will you stay tied to THEIR strings as a puppet or will YOU plant your own seeds?

by Alura Tom

18 ASIAN OUTLOOK

Orion

By Jack Byun

each day we continue striding forward, though sometimes weak and weary we march on, creating sense for ourselves with each step to make art of all colors and forms to create love, to discover the unknown, to put new points on the map to connect our memories and thoughts and experiences into intricate spider webs of life, each point like the shining pearls of Orion’s belt, those pin-pricked specks of hopeful light in the blank black carpet of winter sky each utterance, each observation a carefully inscribed line of an old epic long told.

We trudge on through the mud, even on those unforgiving rainy days that make our skin soggy and chill our bones to the marrow to at last be warmed, comforted, embraced by friends, family and amicable strangers and by the human passion we serendipitously share and through appreciation of this paper-thin, fleeting window of eternity we’re given in order to continue on this foggy journey out to a vast sea.

Vol. XLI, Issue I 19

Eyes

By Erica Juarez

West LA

Ching chong.

New York? Nah, this girl is from China.

You’re so exotic.

I like my girls with piel canela and eyes like yours. Look, my girlfriend looks like you.

Why is it that I have been reduced to nothing but my eyes, or more so, “the lack of them”?

As a child, because of remarks like these, I have grown resentful of my Asianness, my Japaneseness.

Afraid to look at the mirror because of these “ness-es.”

Whatever that even means.

But, maybe I can fix it?

Maybe I can cut my bangs and grow them out long enough to cover my eyes?

Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.

These third graders won’t catch on.

I just moved here.

The whole school year I’ll be just like this.

I’m emo anyway.

At the Pool

Oh no. I’m at the pool with my friend and her mom.

They’re Ecuatoriana. I’m not.

Her mom’s friend is going to notice.

Uh oh. She’s already talking about it. She’s not talking badly. But out of defense, embarrassment, shame, I’m trying to spare the possibility of it.

Just pretend your eyes are in pain, Erica.

They burn. It’s the pool water. Wipe your face. Keep blinking. Look away.

Whatever it takes, just hide them.

My bangs can’t protect me.

They’re laid back by the tight elasticity of a blue swimming cap, accentuating the Asianness of my eyes.

She found out. Just call me Chinita already.

¿Su mamá es Japonesa? Su papá es Mexicano? Ah, que bueno.

Thank you.

Thank you, I think, with the greatest relief ever.

Thank you for saying nothing more of it. That is all I need.

20 ASIAN OUTLOOK

Who Do You See? To look in the mirror was to see my mother.

To see my mother in the mirror was to see a stranger.

And what I saw in the mirror was what others simply saw through me.

I can’t tell what was the worst part about it.

My mother had never been there in my upbringing. So it wasn’t fair how I had to carry her around everywhere.

Why was it that somebody whom I never saw, never talked to, never available to call, dictated my body like that?

Why was it that when I looked in the mirror,

it was a constant reminder of looking like something I grew to not ever want to be a part of?

I was Mexican. Only and just that.

I spoke the tongue of Spanish.

I breathed the aura of champurrado and arroz con leche.

I ate with tortillas and didn’t know a thing about how to hold chopsticks.

Who was it that existed within the mirror?

“Bathtub” By Nicole Xu

Although these pieces of writing reflect upon the sentiments of distaste and aversion that I have carried against my Asian identity, these reflections are also a marker of time and a signal of growth. I was able to reconnect with my mother when I started university. With the complements of age and maturity factored into this sudden change, the exposure to my mother and her experiences allowed me to understand and accept why she was not always there. I started to water my Japanese roots that were once violently dry and brittle. To those who also face confusion, pain and uncertainty through their mixed-racial identity, your experience is valid and deserving of sunlight and fresh air to clear the garden.

Vol. XLI, Issue I 21

By K ath

K ryn won

22 ASIAN OUTLOOK

FORTUNE FISH

鱼带来 好运

BY KAYSIE LIANG Vol. XLI, Issue I 23

ATARAXIA

by Anita Liu

As autumn rays fade on distant faces, Peeking through the leaves that obscure my window, I turn to the cold side of my pillow.

For the first time in this mundane town, I observe the sun bow down, to kiss the ground.

A different kind of warmth a man can’t provide...

Despite my busy days, She’s what I think of in crowded hallways.

More than just another fleeting face, A shade of brown an artist can’t match with paint, Autumn love with no constraints.

24 ASIAN OUTLOOK

UNTITLED

By Celeste Pietrzak

Vol. XLI, Issue I 25

@asianoutlook

WANT TO BE FEATURED? Email ao.editor@gmail.com ISSUU SPOTIFY FACEBOOK INSTAGRAM