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From Exhaustion and Overwhelm to Unshakable Love & Unleashed Passion

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And much more... “One partner absolutely CAN and SHOULD transform a relationship. I did it! And now, using our proven 8 steps, thousands of people around the world are proving every day that it does NOT take two to tango, by transforming their relationship without needing their partner’s to participate in the process! Whether your relationship is hanging by a thread or just passion-less and in need of a boost... you CAN transform it, and we can show you how.”

ABOUT STACEY... Aspire Magazine Relationship Expert Stacey Martino helps people who feel stuck, frustrated, and helpless with the challenges that relationship brings. Stacey firmly believes that it does not take two to tango! Her clients consistently prove that one person can transform a transfo relationship! Through programs, events, and coaching for her Relationship Transformation System®, Stacey empowers you to create the unshakable love and unleashed passion that you really want, so you can be loved for your most authentic self!

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CONTENTS On the Cover

Stacey Martino Cover feature: Stacey Martino Stacey helps people who feel stuck, frustrated and helpless with the challenges of intimate relationship. Through strategic private coaching, programs and events for her Relationship Transformation System™, individuals learn to use her proven strategies and tools to create an unshakable love and unleashed passion that lasts a lifetime.

FEBRUARY | MARCH 2015 CHOOSING HAPPINESS

Wisdom & Self-Growth 28 DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY by Debra Reble, Ph.D. Many of us feel that the pursuit of happiness is elusive and unattainable.We think if we just had the right job, relationship, or an abundance of money that then we would be happy. Yet, contrary to this popular belief, happiness is a state of being-wellbeing that is within our grasp. Here are several lifelong principles of happiness.

Cover Photo Credit: Lindsay Musser www.EncompassPhotography.net

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

32 THE ART OF HAPPINESS AND WHAT I FIGURED OUT ALONG THE WAY by Shannon Kaiser Life doesn’t come with instructions. No one hands us a manual when we are born. Instead we have to navigate the trenches of the unknown and try to draw in our experiences with an open heart and courageous action. But what happens when life doesn’t go as planned?

CONTENTS

36 LIVING THE LAW OF ATTRACTION: 7 HAPPINESS HACKS TO KEEP YOU IN THE HAPPY ZONE by Boni Lonnsburry We’ve all been there. Our life is fine—no big complaints. In fact, a lot to be grateful for—a roof over our head, people who love us, intelligence, health and an able body. And yet, we find ourselves struggling to be happy. What gives? I invite you to try my tried and true happiness hacks.

“You deserve to be wildly happy, and happiness comes down to powerful choices more than circumstances.” TAME KIEVES

40 L IVING THE GODDESS LIFESTYLE: A SIMPLE SPELL FOR LOVE AND HAPPINESS by Lisa Marie Rosati It’s February and love is in the air, so I’d like to share a quick and simple love spell that will help you send ripples of love out into the world. There are oodles of reasons to cast a love spell. The power of love is so strong that it can be a catalyst for positive change in your physiology, your community and the world! Read on to earn how to cast a love spell.

44 L IVE YOUR PURPOSE: THE FIVE THINGS HAPPY PEOPLE ALWAYS DO by Stacey Curnow Did you know that happy women have happy habits. They have learned to master their thoughts, feelings, and actions in ways that set them up for happiness. Check out the things that happy women always do so that you can become happier too!

CONTENTS

49 CONTRAST AS A CATALYST FOR MANIFESTATION by Christy Whitman By now, you have no doubt discovered that life is an experience of contrast. Everything about the world in which we live is based on the co-existence of opposing forces. At every moment, we are breathing life into one of two realities: a reality that we dread, or a reality that we desire. Learn how contrast is a powerful catalyst for reframing your intentions and manifesting what you desire.

“When living in the moment you live each day with a hopeful, joyous heart.” JANET NESTOR

52 JOY SPOTTING AND THE ART OF HAPPINESS by Shann Vander Leek Are you making a conscious effort to choose happiness? Did you know that you can tap into joy at anytime through awareness, mindfulness, music, dance, Yoga, painting, gardening laughter? Most days I find happiness right under my feet in the tiniest of wonders with my Joy Spotting practice. Learn how Joy Spotting can bring more happiness into the present moment and elevate your wellbeing.

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56 IS AN UNDERCURRENT OF FEAR IMPACTING YOUR HAPPINESS? by Lisa Michaels Are you using the two most common fears – lack of time and money – to prevent you from going for your dreams and experiencing happiness? Learn how you can invite the elemental forces of creation to assist you with moving from an undercurrent of fear to a vibration of happiness.

CONTENTS 60 HOW TO CREATE YOUR REVOLUTIONARY NEW YEAR IN 2015! by Jackie Ruka If what gets you up in the morning is about what you can create versus what is stopping you, then you are on your way to an exciting and revolutionary New Year. Do you want to experience a kick-butt 2015? Then you’ll want to read on. 62 WHERE HAPPINESS CAN TAKE YOU by Mal Duane 2014 presented me with some of my greatest challenges in the last decade. These painful and disruptive experiences, which I call lessons from Earth school inspired me to reach a new level of personal growth and self-reflection, but they weren’t exactly happy times. Learn how living my truth and setting strong boundaries supported me on my journey through an emotional hurricane.

“Each of us is gifted with great potential – for wisdom, creativity, love, kindness, compassion, strength and tenderness.” KRISTINE CARLSON

65 SPOONFULS OF SPIRITUALITY by Saskia Roell On April 24th, I opened the first page of Shirley MacLaine’s book Dancing in the Light. From then on, Shirley became my spiritual teacher. The Sun was setting when I started reading and was rising when I turned to the last page. My Soul’s light turned ON, and so began a new chapter of my life.

Health & Wellness 68 GODDESSES NEVER AGE: OWING YOUR BEAUTY by Christiane Northrup, MD Did you know that an ageless goddess rejects ageism and owns her beauty? One way you can do this is to acknowledge your gifts through affirmations or prayer. Another way to own your beauty is to adorn it in your own personal style and engage in selfnurturing beauty rituals. Discover how you can put yourself at the front of the line and flaunt your timeless beauty.

CONTENTS

71 TRUE FEAR AND FALSE FEAR by Lissa Rankin True fear is a survival mechanism meant to protect you. True fear is what you experience when your minivan goes out of control on the interstate. False fear shows up as worry, anxiety, and ruminating about the things that could go wrong in an imaginary future. Did you know that both kinds of fear can help you expand your consciousness, so you can make better decisions?

“When living in the moment you live each day with a hopeful, joyous heart.” JANET NESTOR

74 HAPPINESS BEGINS WITH SELF-CARE by Mary E. Pritchard, PhD It was the week after Thanksgiving and I found myself stressed, sad, and sleep-deprived. I was overwhelmed with too much work and caring for everyone else without caring for myself. I retreated, withdrew, tried to pretend that everything was fine. It wasn’t; and I got walking pneumonia for my troubles. If you are ignoring your personal needs, perhaps it is time to add self-care to the top of your list.

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

78 THE WISE WOMAN WAY: FOLLOW YOUR HAPPINESS by Susun Weed The pursuit of happiness is guaranteed in the Constitution of the United States of America. The pursuit of happiness, not the experience of happiness. This is how many of us spend our time: pursuing happiness, but never actually feeling that we have achieved it or accomplished it. Learn why I believe that satisfaction is the secret ingredient in happiness.

CONTENTS

“Your soul whispers to you and beckons you to open up to all the possibilities before you.” LAURA CLARK

Career | Business

Relationships 82 TRANSFORMING YOUR RELATIONSHIP: DESIRE: THE LIFEFORCE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP by Stacey Martino If you are telling yourself that you can be ‘Happy without Passion’ in your relationship, you are lying to yourself! You are WIRED for passion…hot, exciting, electric, ravishing, satisfying, unleashed passion! It’s your Life-Force! And without it, a part of you is dying! Learn how you can resuscitate your desire.

87 INTERVIEW WITH LOVE AND PASSION COACH STACEY MARTINO I am honored to introduce you to Love and Passion Coach Stacey Martino, Aspire’s Expert Relationship Columnist. Stacey helps people who feel stuck, frustrated and helpless with the challenges of an intimate relationship. Learn how Stacey’s painful relationship journey evolved into her passion and mission today. You are going to LOVE this interview!

94 HOLISTIC BUSINESS SUCCESS SECRETS: 5 WAYS TO STAY HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR HOLISTIC by Shelley Riutta, MSE, LPC There are always challenges that crop up when you run your own business. Whether you don’t have enough clients, or maybe a new program or product launch isn’t reaching your projections, or perhaps you’re struggling with cash flow. No matter what difficulties come up in your business, a consistent positive attitude will help you to persevere. Learn five of my favorite ways to stay happy in your holistic business.

CONTENTS

“It’s not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.” CHARLES SPURGEON

97 PRACTICE ABUNDANCE FOR MORE REVENUE by Jeanna Gabellini Everything you do is a practice. Got a messy house? It’s a practice. Always find yourself needing to make more money? This s a practice too. You’ll notice throughout your day most of your actions and thoughts are habitual. And often, that’s not a good thing! You can change habits at any given moment by doing something different. Baby steps can lead to avalanches of revenue.

LINDA JOY

Publisher & Editor-In-Chief | Linda@aspiremag.net

Creative & Brand Direction || RACHEL DUNHAM | www.HummingbirdCreativeConcepts.com Editorial Layout || MANDY GATES | www.GruveDesign.com Graphic Designer || MANDY GATES | www.GruveDesign.com COO || KIM TURCOTTE | www.SoulPurposeBusinessSolutions.com MAILING ADDRESS || P.O. BOX 1149 | LAKEVILLE, MA 02347 | 508.265.7929 ADVERTISING || Email Linda@aspiremag.net MISSION TO INSPIRE INFO <CLICK HERE>

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EXPERT COLUMNISTS STACEY MARTINO

LISA MARIE ROSATI

Stacey Martino helps people who feel stuck, frustrated and helpless with the challenges of intimate relationship. Through strategic private coaching, programs and events for her Relationship Transformation System™, individuals learn to use her proven strategies and tools to create an unshakable love and unleashed passion that lasts a lifetime. Stacey firmly believes that it does NOT take two to tango, that one person can significantly shift the dynamics of the relationship. Trained and certified by Tony Robbins and Cloe Madanes, Stacey is a certified marriage educator and divorce preventionist. www.LoveandPassionCoach.com

Passionista Lisa Marie Rosati is an Inner Goddess Catalyst for women and the Creatrix of The Goddess Lifestyle Plan. Lisa mentors women on how become a Modern Day Goddess by consciously designing a luscious Goddess life, cultivating radiant health and creating a lucrative business using and directing their feminine fire. www.GoddessLifestylePlan.com www.sugarfreegoddess.com

STACEY CURNOW

BONI LONNSBURRY

Stacey Curnow helps women find and live their purpose. She left behind a 20-year career as a nurse-midwife, helping women give birth to babies, to help you give birth to your BIG dreams. You can sample her work by reading The Purpose and Passion Guidebook: 6 Steps to Doing Good, Feeling Good and Achieving Your Dreams which you can claim on her website. It will inspire you to tap into your deepest desires, claim your true value and identify your soul’s work in order to live your best life. www.StaceyCurnow.com

Boni Lonnsburry is the CEO of Inner Art Inc., an expert on conscious creation and the author of the best-selling book, “The Map: To Our Responsive Universe, Where Dreams Really Do Come True.” The Map is the winner of seven book awards including the prestigious Nautilus award.

SUSUN WEED

Shelley Riutta

Susun Weed is an internationally renowned herbalist, author, and director of the Wise Woman Center in New York. She is a revered voice of the Wise Woman Tradition, where women’s bodies and women’s emotions are valued. Susun is a founding grandmother of the herbal renaissance and the originator of the concept of complementary medicine. www.SusunWeed.com

Shelley Riutta MSE, LPC is the founder and President of the Global Association of Holistic Psychotherapy and Coaching (GAHP). She is a Holistic Psychotherapist and creator of a 6-Figure Holistic Psychotherapy Practice. Because of her success at creating a thriving Holistic Practice she launched the Global Association of Holistic Psychotherapy and Coaching (GAHP), which supports Holistic Therapists, Healers, Coaches and Health Practitioners to learn more about Holistic Methods and develop Thriving 6 Figure Holistic Practices. This quickly became a multi-6 Figure business and one of the leading Holistic Training and Holistic Business Building Organizations in the world. www.TheGAHP.com

Transforming Your Relationship

Live Your Purpose

The Wise Woman Way

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

Living the Goddess LifeStyleTM

Living the Law of Attraction

Boni applied the principles she teaches to transform her own life from rags to riches, despair to joy and loneliness to love. Her passion is to teach others to do the same. www.LifeaLifeYouLove.com

Holistic Business Success Secrets

FEATURED CONTRIBUTORS

CHRISTIANE NORTHRUP, M.D.

LISSA RANKIN

CHRISTY WHITMAN

DEBRA REBLE, PH.D.

JENNA GABELLINI

SHANN VANDER LEEK

JACKIE RUKA

LISA MICHAELS

MARY E. PRITCHARD, PH.D.

SHANNON KAISER

SASKIA ROELL

YOUR WISDOM! WITH OUR READERS

LETTER EDITOR

FROM THE

”Every day, in every moment, we have the ability to choose happiness. Event in the midst of our darkest night, when everything is falling apart, that choice is still available.” LINDA JOY

Welcome to the February/March 2015 ‘Choosing Happiness’ issue of Aspire Magazine This is a very special topic and issue, one dear to my heart. This sacred issue coincides with the release of my publishing company’s much-anticipated third book, Inspiration for a Woman’s Soul: Choosing Happiness (February 11, 2015) as well as the Choosing Happiness Crusade and Video Series coming in March. As I share in the introduction to Choosing Happiness: “You see, on a spring day in 1991, I discovered the healing power of choice. My life, and my soul’s work, began that day, as I sobbed against my steering wheel on the side of a tree-lined road. As I cried out to the Universe for help, I was given an epiphany. I could choose to continue as I was—a welfare mom, a victim of my traumatic past, a woman without hope for her own future—or I could choose something different. That beautiful, sacred truth—that I have a choice about how I experience my life—filled my heart with hope and forever changed the trajectory of my life. Today, it continues to fuel my work as the publisher and host of numerous inspirational media brands which are dedicated to inspiring women to live deeper, more deliberate, more authentic lives.”

Connect with me!

m/ http://www.Facebook.co es pir lindajoyins

Grab a cup of tea or a glass of wine and enjoy the powerful articles, empowering wisdom and supportive resources offered by our expert columnists and featured guest contributors. Choose love. Choose joy. Choose Happiness.

ajoy

https://twitter.com/lind http://pinterest.com/ lindajoyinspire/

LINDA JOY Publisher & Editor-In-Chief | Linda@aspiremag.net

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WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

“The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete pe rson you were intended to be.”

Oprah Winfrey Read Online!

5 Ways to

Connect to LifBYePATRICIA YOUNG

Since we left our mother’s womb and took our first breathe, it is considered that we are alive, but are we really? We are living beings with free will and consciousness, but are we really aware of ourselves? Aware of the miracle that means being alive? Are we really awake, or just going through the motions, not really living? To live is to enjoy every single moment, laugh, love, be authentic, be creative, be curious, forgive, feel freedom, do what you love, and repeat non-stop. Read the full article online

CHECK OUT MORE ONLINE!

AspireMag.net

l Live & Virtua

UPCOMING EVENTS

CHOOSING HAPPINESS BOOK LAUNCH || DETAILS! Order your copy and receive thousands in bonus gifts REIGNITE THE PASSION FOR MORE THAN JUST ONE NIGHT || DETAILS! Complimentary call with Host Linda Joy and guest Stacey Martino CHOOSING HAPPINESS VIDEO SERIES || DETAILS! Host Linda Joy- 30 Inspiring Conversations - Bonus Gift Bundle

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Worry,

Be Happy BY DEBRA REBLE, PH. D.

any of us feel that the pursuit of happiness is elusive and unattainable. We think if we just had the right job, relationship, or an abundance of money that then we would be happy. Yet, contrary to this popular belief, happiness is a state of beingwellbeing that is within our grasp. And, we have always had the power to create it in our lives. We have known this internal power as children when we played in the puddles after a warm rain, chased after fireflies in the summer, or built forts or fairy alters in our yards. Sustaining a flow of happiness takes the same lifelong principles that we practiced as children.

â&#x20AC;˘ Going with the Flow:

Remember when you were so engrossed in creative play that you felt so present with the world around you? You can still feel suspended in time while exercising, painting, meditating, or playing music. It is here that distractions fall away, background noise disappears, and you feel completely immersed in the moment. Then, stringing together these moments of heightened, present-oriented experiences brings feelings of joy, inspiration and happiness.

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

– Thich Nhat Hanh • Sustaining a Positive Outlook:

Remember when you looked on the bright side of life? You envisioned your dreams never doubting your innate power to fulfill them. When you sustain a positive outlook on life, you are more likely to manage life’s challenges, make better choices, support a healthy immune system and sustain a sense of happiness. Such a positive viewpoint also has helped you live longer and prevent certain diseases.

• Engaging in Mindfulness Meditation: As a child, you lived life as a meditation. Rewire your brain for happiness. Meditation literally clears your mind and brings your body into a state of calm. It’s been proven to be the most effective way to live a happier life. Set aside quiet time to tune inward and center yourself

• Counting Your Blessings: Remember

how your heart was open to give and receive at all times? You can practice gratitude by keeping a journal of things you’re grateful for, sharing three good things that happen each day with a friend or partner, and going out of your way to show gratitude when others help you. As your day begins, bring to mind three things that you feel grateful for or happy about even if it’s being alive. When your day comes to a close, think about three things that happened during the day that you feel blessed about, and how you believe they happened.

throughout your day. Even setting aside a few minutes each day to open your heart and be present will begin your day on a positive note. Ten minutes is better than five, and 20 better than 10.

• Savoring Positive Experiences:

Remember when you noticed beauty, artistry, and the wonder of life. Train yourself to become aware of, appreciate, and enhance the positive experiences

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

“There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.”

in your life. Consciously focus on and mindfully attend to, and identify these experiences on a regular basis. Be in awe of nature or a meaningful soulful experience.

• Practicing Random Acts of Kindness: As a child, you were kind and

compassionate. Serve others at least a couple hours a week. Research shows that committing random acts of kindness promotes wellbeing. Be kind whenever possible and you will find that you will feel more positive, open and loving. It’s also important to engage in restorative self-care which are simple, sacred acts of kindness to yourself.

• Cultivating Healthy Relationships:

The only thing that really matters is spending time with those you love. Surround yourself and spend more time with people who love, support, and care for you without conditions. Create an energetic soul team of pure love. Such love will support your happiness even if you are an introvert.

• Forgiving Often and Quickly:

Remember when you were little you forgave often and quickly? Forgiveness allows us to create a clean slate so we can begin anew. And, the more you forgive yourself, the more you will find it easier to forgive others. It will free you from the past and open the energetic space for you to create a better future.

• Exercising More: As a child, you

probably played until you were exhausted. Physical exercise has a profound effect on our wellbeing. Research has shown that exercising only 7 minutes a day can profoundly impact our happiness and reduce anxiety and depression. It can help you relax, increase your creativity, and overall body image.

• Spending More Time Outdoors: As a

child you loved spending time outdoors. Make time to go outside on a beautiful day even if it’s for just a few minutes. It can boost mood, expand thinking and improve memory. Happiness is maximized at 13.9°C so head outside for your 20 minutes of fresh air. Use this natural anti-depressant to Read create happiness.

Online!

Debra Reble, Ph. D. - Consciously merging her practical tools as a licensed psychologist with her intuitive and spiritual gifts, Debra L. Reble, PhD, supports and empowers women to connect with their hearts and live authentically through her transformational SoulHearted Living™. Debra is the author of Soul-Hearted Partnership: The Ultimate Experience of Love, Passion, and Intimacy, a contributing author of Inspiration for a Woman’s Soul: Choosing Happiness, and is currently working on her newest book Being Love. Learn more at www.DebraReble.com today.

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

The Art of

HAPPINESS and What I Figured Out Along the Way BY SHANNON KAISER

ecoming more grounded and happy starts with letting go of worry and stress. I learned this in my own journey, through overcoming drug addictions, healing myself from depression, and walking away from a career in corporate to follow my heart and be a successful writer and life coach. In the process, I had to let go of a lot of things to become the person I am today. Physically, spiritually and emotionally, I had to learn how to let go of the person I thought I should be in order to be the person I really wanted to be.

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

Is happily ever after and smooth sailing reserved for the privileged or uber happy folks? Not quite. Even people who seem to ooze joy were born with the same lack of instructions as everyone else. In some cases, the happiest people in the world have been through the most difficult circumstances. So how is it they can access inner peace effortlessly and pull through life’s difficult patches with grace and ease? The thing all happy people have in common is the ability to look at life situations as growing opportunities.

situations or ourselves – we don’t have room to focus on new opportunities. Happy people know complaining about what you don’t like will keep you from embracing life fully. Let go of your insecurities and selfcriticism. . Learn to see yourself the same way as people who love you.

B e where you are, not where you think you should be.

So many of us race around trying to catch up to the future version we see in the mirage of what “should be.” This constant thirst for something more prevents us from being fully

We are always shifting and shaping into who we can ultimately be. But happy people seem to learn the life lessons and practice them daily. Trust the rough patches of your life can ultimately groom you for a deeper understanding of who you really are. If you want to be happier, you can learn these seven life lessons I learned along the way.

I t is not what you have that matters. It is what you do with what you have.

That extra weight on your body, the nose you want to change or the size of your thighs are all insignificant aspects of who you are and what you are cable of achieving. When we obsess over the things we hate – about

in the moment – right now. If you are waiting for more, you are missing the rich layers of potential in the present. Stop waiting for something other than this and know you are right where you need to be to get to where you want to be. Acceptance of this moment is key.

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

Life doesn’t come with instructions. No one hands us a manual when we are born. Instead we have to navigate the trenches of the unknown and try to suck in the experiences with an open heart and courageous action. But what happens when life doesn’t go as planned?

The thing all happy people have in common is the ability to look at life situations as growing opportunities.

verything and everyone has its E own time and place.

People, jobs, even places we live have expiration dates. Happier people seem to understand the surrendering power that comes with the art of letting go. Humans have seasons to the soul, much like nature. We can embrace the changes and recognize letting go is not saying goodbye, but simply a new beginning with fresh awareness and new perspective.

esistance is a form of selfR sabotage.

Stop trying to make it what it isn’t. Just accept what is. The partner who doesn’t do what you wish. The job that feels soul-sucking. The body type you can’t seem to achieve. All of those are forms of resistance. The refusal to see things as they are by masking the truth with candy-coated lies is a direct route to unhappiness. Instead of trying to change things, people or places, let them be.

What you believe you will see.

We have all heard, “When I see it, I will believe it.” But the happiest people in the word have already figured out believing is a mandatory first step. Every revolutionary game-changer believed in his vision long before they saw it come to fruition. Martin Luther King, Steve Jobs and Gandhi are all people who believed with every cell of their bodies in their vision. What is your goal and deepest desire? Your only mission is dive in so deep that the belief it is possible beams from your pores.

F ear of the unknown is a byproduct of settling.

Many of us hang our hats (even subconsciously) on the fact that the future can be intimidating, especially if we don’t have a clear plan. Whether you want to leave the job you hate or leave a burdensome relationship, changing directions in life can bring up our deepest fear of the unknown. But happy people have learned fear of the unknown is actually a subtle byproduct of settling and playing it safe. Every happy person has felt that same fear but courageously stepped forward into the unknown. Then they quickly realized how peaceful and joy-filled the journey can be. Remember, fear is always worse in our heads. Once you take a step forward, the fear will disappear.

You fit in just as you are.

Most happy folks I know, including myself, have learned true happiness is not about trying to fit in with the world, but realizing we all fit in as we are. Instead of trying to change, manipulate or force yourself into outer ideals, practice self-love and acceptance. When you can trust yourself and be present with where

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

you are in this moment, you will feel the ultimate expression of undulating freedom.

I f You’re Sad, You Can Still Be Happy

Give yourself permission to be real. Be honest with yourself and express your true nature in each moment. If that means you are sad, let yourself feel it. Fully embrace the emotions in each moment. That is the true essence of a happy life. When you can be in your life fully, moment to moment, you will rise above any challenging setback unscathed and proud of the little victories.

Happiness is not Destination

Life will do its part and present opportunities to help us grow. Our part is to show up for the lessons. Yes, happiness is exciting and joyful, but it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

If we were happy all the time, we wouldn’t know what we truly have. We actually need sadness, depression, tears and vulnerability to be able to appreciate the joy-filled moments. When we can fully go into our loneliness, grief, sadness and pain, we can come out stronger, smarter, wiser and more connected to our true selves. So instead of trying to be happy, be present. Read Online!

Shannon Kaiser - Shannon is an internationally recognized speaker, life coach and best selling author of two books on happiness including Find Your Happy, and Inspirational Guide to Loving Life to Its Fullest. She guides people to follow their heart so they can live their full potential. Learn more about Shannon and her work at www.playwiththeworld.com

“Fully emb race the emotions i moment. T n each hat is the t rue essence of a happy lif e.” Shanno

n Kaise r

LIVING THE LAW of

Attraction

7 HAPPINESS HACKS TO

Keep You in the

Happiness Zone BY BONI LONNSBURRY

e’ve all been there. Our life is fine—no big complaints. In fact, a lot to be grateful for—a roof over our head, people who love us, intelligence, health and an able body. And yet, we find ourselves struggling to be happy. What gives? Why does happiness seem to be a roller coaster at times, and—more importantly—what can we do about it? Plenty. I believe the real reason we can’t stay happy is that we don’t know how. It’s not just that we haven’t been taught how to be happy— we have actually been conditioned to be unhappy.

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And even before we hopped on the media-go-round, we were dissuaded from happiness by nearly every authority figure in our life. We were made to feel guilty if we were too happy. We were punished if we were too demonstrative of that happiness. Others wanted us to “be like them”—worried, martyred and sacrificing.

time and again (don’t we all?) here are some happiness jump starters:

Seven “happiness hacks” to keep you in the happy zone 24/7: 1. MAKE THAT CHOICE. Your choice to be (and stay) happy needs to be a very willed and determined choice. Make it like you mean it. Where to begin? With an intention: “I intend to feel happy—all day long.”

Even our loving and well-meaning parents sought to “protect us” from the world by molding us to take life seriously, work hard and (they implicitly promised) if we were lucky, we’d eventually end up happy. This is why we ride the roller coaster of happiness—we’re promised if we buy the right thing, do the right thing, are the right thing—we’ll be happy. And we buy, do, try to be—and we’re happy for a time, but eventually we just have to ask, is this all there is? And as we strove to be like them, to fit in and to not rock the boat, we missed out on one of the most important lessons of our lives… Happiness isn’t a “result”—it’s a choice. So how do we make that choice day after day—to be really and truly happy—all the time? Well, some days will be easier than others, but if you find that you need help

2. MAKE IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. The choice to be happy will need to be made over and over again, even after you’ve been doing it for decades. You’ll need to continually remind yourself, “No matter what happens ‘out there’, I have the power and ability to choose peace and happiness. And it choose it now.” You may want to remind yourself with a physical reminder—such as a piece of ribbon tied around your wrist, or an alarm that goes off every hour to remind you to recommit to happiness. 3. REMEMBER WHO IS CREATING YOUR REALITY. I don’t know how anyone can stay unhappy when they remember they

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

Let’s face it folks, we live in a world in which multi-billion dollar corporations put all their creativity and resources into convincing us we won’t be happy until we buy their latest product. Be it insurance, food, weight loss, pharmaceuticals, technology, clothing— whatever—their one and only goal is to seduce us into believing we won’t be happy until…

have a gift better than Aladdin’s magic lamp. You get more than three wishes— you get a lifetime of them. Commit to learning exactly how to create your reality consciously. Then do it. There will never be time better spent.

Instead, narrow your focus to what is here and now. Be present with the task at hand (forget multi-tasking) and open your senses. How does your body feel? What is the scent in the air? Notice the sounds and even taste your present moment. Perhaps change your immediate surroundings to allow even more richness—with aromatherapy, soft music or a more comfortable position in your chair. Now, allow yourself to be totally immersed at the task at hand. You’ll find yourself enjoying what you do far more than you ever have—and you’ll likely be more productive too.

4. LOVE THE LIFE YOU’VE GOT. What most people don’t realize, is dreaming is fabulous, creating more is part of your human nature, but always, always, always balance your desire with gratitude for what is wonderful in your life right now. Make gratitude part of your daily (or hourly) routine—and you will slip right into happiness—easy peasy.

6. LET NATURE HELP. Sometimes we just get into an emotional “funk” and have a devil of a time dragging ourselves out of it. I have always been a firm believer that nature has a cure for every ailment, and she never disappoints. I use Bach flower essences on a regular basis—they are amazing

5. N ARROW YOUR FOCUS. So much unhappiness can be traced to worrying about the future—be it your to-do list or whether or not your dreams will come true. Giving your “negative self” free reign to make you crazy about all there is to do, or worry about the future won’t ever lead to happy.

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7. GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM YOUR FRIENDS. You are not alone, my friend. You never were, despite the times you felt so lonely. You don’t have to have proof that your unseen friends are there for you before you call upon them to help. Ask anyway. The proof will be in the response. Not sure quite how to do that? Try this: “Higher Self, guides, counselors, and all of my unseen friends, please help me to stay happy today.” Then stay awake to catch the little thoughts, feelings and signs in your life that show your unseen friends are right by your side helping you to strengthen your choice to be happy.

At first you might have to use these hacks often in order to stay on top of your happiness game, but it will get easier and easier until it is your second nature to wake up and stay happy—all through the day. And the bonus is—staying happy will also help your dreams come true. Happiness creates even more to be happy about. It’s a positive spiral—which in itself should make you pretty happy. How wonderful is that? Read Online!

Boni Lonnsburry – Boni is the CVO of Inner Art Inc., an expert on conscious creation and the author of the best-selling book, “The Map: To Our Responsive Universe, Where Dreams Really Do Come True.” The Map is the winner of seven book awards including the prestigious Nautilus award. Learn more: www.livealifeyoulove.com.

“Happines s isn’t a ‘result’—it ’s a choice. ’” Boni Lo nnsbur

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

emotional healers and work instantly. I like to use a pendulum to allow my Higher Self to show me which essences I need to balance emotionally. They truly are one of earth’s greatest gifts and they work equally well for children and animals.

LIVING the

Goddess Lifestyle

SIMPLE SPELL FOR

Love& Happiness BY LISA MARIE ROSATI

et me ask you somethingâ&#x20AC;Ś do you think that love spells are strictly used for matters of the heart and fanning the flames of passion? Absolutely NOT! There are oodles of reasons to cast a love spell. The power of love is so strong that it can be a catalyst for positive change in your physiology, your community and the world - YUP! When you embody and emanate love, your personal vibration raises waaay high. Love is proven to be one of the highest energetic vibrations. Embodying and emanating love immediately makes YOU an antidote for collective sadness in the Universe and a beacon

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Intention and focused energy is very magical and powerful. It’s February and love is in the air, so I’d like to share a quick and simple love spell that will help you send ripples of love out into the world. I truly believe that there can never be too much love and since you’re here reading my article, I bet you think the same – great minds think alike!

Magical Tools Needed:

First, find a quiet place to sit (your chosen sacred space) and smudge the space, your body temple and your magical tools to clear the energy.

Lisa’s 4-Step Grounding & Centering Process 1. Take a slow, deep inhalation breath

that goes all the way down to your belly and fills your lungs to capacity followed by an exhale that empties your lungs completely. Do it three times in total.

2. Next visualize yourself as a tree. Any kind of tree, it doesn’t matter. Visualize roots coming out of the soles of your feet and growing slowly downward into the core of Earth Mother. Visualize them getting larger and stronger as they go deeper. Take however long you need to do this.

3. Now visualize branches shooting up from your body temple and spreading up toward the sky. If it helps, you can lift your arms up in the air. Feel the energy of the Sun coming down to meet the energy of the Earth as they move towards each other, and then visualize the Sun and Earth meeting at your center (core) as a ball of glowing light.

and sacred space to perform • Ayour quiet spell • R ose essential oil of rose quartz, preferably heart • Ashaped piece which is symbolic of love • S mudge

4. Once you have that visualization,

take another few deep breaths and then channel that light and power into your sacred work.

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

of light for others. And… I can assure you from firsthand experience that when your vibration is high and your heart light is shining… you are INCREDIBLY HAPPY downright BLISSFUL!

Next place the rose quartz in your hands. Anoint your stone with rose essential oil and as you anoint your stone, send your intention of love and happiness into the stone. (You will have built up very powerful energy during the grounding and centering process – use it now to empower the rose quartz!) Anoint your third eye (the space between your eyebrows), your right and left wrist and the insides of each ankle with the rose essential oil. Take another round of three deep inhalations and exhalations with your eyes gently closed. Feel the energy the rose quartz exudes and say out loud:

Love and happiness fills my body temple. Visualize love and happiness filling your body (I visualize this energy as light pink – you can use white or another color if it feels better to you). Let the love and happiness energy ripple out of your body temple and fill your home. Say out loud:

Love and happiness 3 fills my home. Once you’ve visualized your home full of love and happiness energy, allow it to ripple out of your house, filling your neighborhood. Say out loud:

Love and happiness fills my neighborhood. 42

Continue with this method, visualizing love and happiness filling your town or city, your state, nation, continent and then the whole earth, adding an affirmation as you go:

Love and happiness fills my ____________. When you’re finished with your love and happiness spell, sit quietly and enjoy the feeling of sharing love, light and happiness with the entire world. You can take a moment to ground and center again by using my signature 4-step process above. May your days be filled with life magick and your heart filled with love and happiness today and always… and so it is.

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Passionista Lisa Marie Rosati – Passionista and Visionary Lisa Marie Rosati is a renowned Inner Goddess Catalyst for women, Creatrix of The Goddess Lifestyle Plan + Sugar Free Goddess, co-author of the international best selling book – “Embracing Your Authentic Self.” Lisa mentors women around the world on how to become a Modern Day Goddess by consciously designing how to get their health back, balance their feminine and masculine energies, ignite the fire within their souls and live a luscious goddess life filled with sacred practice, passion, radiant health, entrepreneurial success and prosperity.

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

LIVE Your

Purpose

THE

Things Happy People Always Do BY STACEY CURNOW

appy women have happy habits.

They manage their thoughts, feelings, and actions in ways that set them up for happiness. Check out these things that happy women always do so that you too can become happier too.

1. They Define What Happiness Means for Them. Think about a time when you were truly happy. What were you doing? Chances are you weren’t sitting on a beach drinking fruity cocktails. Of course, that kind of passive, pleasureoriented contentment can be a part of overall happiness, but researchers have provided compelling evidence that focusing on service—on helping others or making a better world—has a more powerful effect on your overall sense of well-being.

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WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

“Taking action in alignment with your true values and your deepest desires is the key to a happy and meaningful life.” — Stacey Curnow Whether you know it or not, whether you’re currently connected to it or not, I believe you have a purpose. You’re here to make meaning with your life -- to do good -- in service of something larger. The more you do it, the happier you’ll be. To paraphrase Frederick Buechner, I define happiness as the place where your deep gladness meets the world’s needs. This definition is important to me because I’m married to a man who for 19 of the 20 years we’ve been together had not been successful at making money. But my husband, Doug, and I have always done work we loved whether or not that work made a lot of money or not. I started out as a nurse-midwife, and now I’m a coach, but Doug has always felt happiest—and done the most for others—in his writing. And guess what? Doug sold his first book six months ago with an option to create a series of many more. So don’t you think we’re very happy that he didn’t give up on writing just because it didn’t make money for so many years? That we’re glad we both chose to focus on work we loved? Yes, yes, we are!

2. They Create the Conditions for a Life They Love. It may seem obvious, but I talk with women every day who are so overwhelmed with the daily duties of their lives that they haven’t seriously considered the fact that they have choices about how they spend their time. More importantly, they don’t realize they can choose how they feel about how they spend their time. Of course, analyzing one’s life isn’t easy and may require questioning long-held

assumptions, like a need to please others over caring for one’s self. Fortunately, changes don’t have to be big ones to tip happiness in your favor. Research shows that if you transfer even an hour of your day from an activity you don’t enjoy (grocery shopping or sitting on a committee) to one you enjoy (reading or taking a yoga class) you’ll see a tremendous improvement in your overall happiness. Don’t believe you even have an hour of wiggle room in your day? You could spend 15 minutes walking outside or 5 minutes journaling about what you’re appreciating right now and you’ll still get a significant happiness boost.

success (and I can pretty much guarantee that the success will look different than you imagined), and you might even fall down a time or two. But if you are deeply in touch with your purpose—your Big Why—and you keep getting up, you’ll notice that with every step you’re feeling happier and more fulfilled. And yes, you will get there. I can promise you this: It’s not the “arriving” at your goal that’s even so great or so fulfilling – it’s who you become on the journey.

So you see, happiness is a choice. I have always been the primary, if not the sole, wage earner in my family and for many years I focused on how everything depended on me. I had to make sure everyone else was okay before I got any “selfish” needs met, and I found that pretty stressful. For a long time that outlook contributed to a lot of unhappiness – until I decided that I could choose to feel happy about the fact that I was supporting our family doing meaningful and satisfying work as a nurse-midwife while my husband and I both pursued more purpose-driven work. Taking action in alignment with your true values and your deepest desires is the key to a happy and meaningful life. It will probably be a long journey to get to whatever it is that you have defined as

3. They Avoid “IF/THEN” Propositions. If only I could get a better job...find a good man...lose 10 pounds...then I would be happy. Happy people don’t buy into this kind of thinking. The problem with IF/THEN is that our brains tend to shift automatically from believing that the thing we’re after is just one condition for happiness to believing it’s the only condition for happiness, and we stay seriously stuck. So when you make it conditional—when you

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WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

say that happiness depends on that thing you don’t have—you set yourself up to be chronically unhappy. Plus you overlook all the other ways you can achieve the feeling of having the thing you truly want right now. Instead of making everything an “IF/THEN” proposition, ask yourself: “What will it mean to me to have accomplished this?” That meaning—I call it your why, because it tells you why you want what you want—is the most powerful fuel you can access as you make your way down your path. Once you have your why, it’s exciting to take one step and then another and another, and you never doubt that you’ll make it to your destination. I talked about this in my interview with Linda Joy in the last issue of Aspire, but it bears repeating because the latest research shows that we’re surprisingly bad at predicting what will make us happy. The brain creates something psychologists call “hedonic adaptation,” a natural dimming effect. A new car won’t generate the same pleasure a year after its purchase. The thrill of having a new boyfriend will ebb as you experience the frustrations and disappointments that are a natural part of being a couple. Happy people are wise to this, and have learned to be satisfied with what they have by looking for things to appreciate in their current situation. They also have learned to seek new and challenging pursuits which keep their brains engaged and, yes, happy.

4. T hey Put Their (Real) Friends First. It’s no surprise that social engagement is one of the most important contributors to happiness, but there are scientific studies that provide evidence of the value of friendship for our overall health too. Data actually shows that community is more important for preventive health than daily exercise or quitting smoking! What’s also news is that the nature of the relationship counts. Compared with catching up with various friends and acquaintances through Facebook, you get a lot more joy from spending longer periods of time with a close friend. And the best-friend benefit doesn’t necessarily come from delving into heavy discussions. One of the most essential pleasures of close friendship is simple companionship that comes from sharing a cup of tea or a walk on your lunch break. Yes, it takes more energy to schedule a “real” date with a friend than it does to scroll through your Facebook feed. I’ve made lots of excuses for not doing it too, but studies

like these remind me that I will always get more out of it than I put in. So I make it more of a priority now. I hope you will, too.

5. They Allow Themselves to Be Happy. As much as we all think we want it, many of us are convinced, deep down, that we don’t deserve to be happy (or at least not too happy). Whether the belief comes from religion, culture, or the family they were raised in, many of the women I work with feel guilty if they focus on their own pleasure when there’s so much work to be done and so much suffering in the world. That’s why I love to quote Howard Cutler, MD, coauthor with the Dalai Lama of The Art of Happiness in a Troubled World.

“Some people would say you shouldn’t strive for personal happiness until you’ve taken care of everyone in the world who is starving or doesn’t have adequate medical care. The Dalai Lama believes you should pursue both simultaneously. For one thing, there is clear research showing that happy people tend to be more open to helping others. They also make better spouses and parents.” So, for the steadfast skeptic who still needs persuading, just think of how much more you can help the world if you allow more happiness into your life.

Let’s face it, life will offer up some pretty undesirable circumstances for us to deal with, but it’s usually enough for me to reframe “I should” or “I have to” to “I get to.” Doing so allows me to focus on what is necessary -- and even good -- in any situation, and then I’ve found my peaceful or happy feeling again. Remember, your thoughts are the source of your emotions, not your circumstances. What I know for sure is that whether I feel happy or unhappy is completely up to me based on the thoughts I choose to focus on. There are whole worlds of happiness, strength and new ways to look at things just waiting and ready to be found in your thoughts. Now go find them!

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Stacey Curnow - Stacey helps women find and live their purpose. She left behind a 20-year career as a nurse-midwife, helping women give birth to babies, to help you give birth to your BIG dreams. You can sample her work by reading The Purpose and Passion Guidebook: 6 Steps to Doing Good, Feeling Good and Achieving Your Dreams. It will inspire you to tap into your deepest desires, claim your true value and identify your soul’s work in order to live your best life. You can get it FREE from her website at www.staceycurnow.com.

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

Contrast as a Catalyst for BY CHRISTY WHITMAN

y now, you have no doubt discovered that life is an experience of contrast. Everything about the world in which we live is based on the co-existence of opposing forces: internal and external; feminine and masculine; darkness and light; birth and death. Even the axis around which the earth rotates is determined by opposing north and south poles. Polarity is intrinsic to our experience of life. It’s universal. On a personal level, what this means is that if you were to think about something you desire – whether it’s something material like a new car, or something immaterial like being in love – the experience of you having it and not having it both exist simultaneously. In the same way that when half the planet is covered in darkness, the other half is illumined by the sun’s light, the possibility of you having what you desire exists right alongside the possibility of you not having what you desire. Having and not having are inseparable, like the front and the back of the hand.

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

Manifestation

The important thing to remember is that any time life presents us with an experience that is other than the experience we want, we are faced with a fundamental choice: We can focus on and complain about all that appears to be falling apart, or we can use that contrast to clarify exactly what we want to rebuild in its place. An interesting thing happens when we acknowledge something we desire (and it happens whether this acknowledgment is made out loud or only to ourselves; the universe hears and responds to our vibration, regardless of whether it is ever verbalized): The moment a new desire is born within us, the moment we become aware of a longing to experience something bigger, better, or different than we are now experiencing, it heightens our awareness of the fact that – in the present moment at least – what we desire is not yet a part of our experience. In other words, desire generates contrast. Contrast is what we experience when something shows up in our outer world that is out of alignment with what we desire to create. Sometimes it manifests as an immediate unwanted situation: An event you’ve been looking forward to falls through at the last minute, or your child gets hurt and has to be rushed to the hospital. Other times, contrast shows up as an accumulation of mildly aggravating factors: hitting every red light on your way to an important meeting; encountering an exceptionally rude waitress; or just having “one of those days” where you’re constantly dropping or bumping into things.

Whether it shows up as something mildly irritating or majorly troubling, and whether we experience it as the absence of something wanted or the presence of something unwanted, contrast serves a very specific purpose. It draws our attention to a discord that exists between our inner desires and our outer reality, and this discord creates a point of tension that is registered in our bodies and minds as a feeling of discontent. But it’s from this very point of tension that an intention is born, and with a clarity that can only arise from raw, unfiltered feeling, a powerful signal is transmitted instantaneously through every fiber of our being: I want something different! I want something more!! What happens next depends almost entirely on how we choose to respond to the discontent generated by contrast. If we choose to focus only on what’s “wrong” – on what we don’t yet have or feel that we are lacking, that focus will act like a filter that will keep us from seeing any other possibility. If on the other hand we use the contrast of what we don’t want to bring us clarity about what we do, we become more magnetic to the having of it than the not having of

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its fragile little seed into the soil. It’s having faith in what is still invisible to everyone around us, while knowing in our hearts that we are right this moment in the process of manifesting it into being. This is using contrast in the way it was intended – as a catalyst for manifestation. Read

At every moment, and with every thought and emotion we offer, we are breathing life into one of two realities: a reality that we dread, or a reality that we desire. Contrast is a powerful invitation to believe in ourselves and to keep working toward our success, even in the absence of tangible evidence that we will in fact succeed. It is to live with the certainty that when we lose our footing (and we will), we will find it once again. It’s holding the image of a giant, blossoming tree firmly in our minds even as we press

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Christy Whitman - New York Times best-selling author Christy Whitman has appeared on The Today Show and The Morning Show. Her work has been featured in People Magazine, Seventeen, Woman’s Day, Hollywood Life, and Teen Vogue, among others. The CEO and founder of the Quantum Success Coaching Academy, Christy has helped thousands of people worldwide achieve their goals through empowerment seminars, coaching sessions, and products. She lives in Montreal with her husband, Frederic, and their two boys, Alexander and Maxim. Meet her at www.ChristyWhitman.com and www.TheArtofHavingItAll.com.

“At every m oment, and w every thou ght and em ith otion we offer, w e are breat hing life into on e of two re alities: a reality th at we drea d, or a reality that we desire.” Christy

Whitma

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

it, and we literally draw that possibility into our experience. The important thing to remember is that any time life presents us with an experience that is other than the experience we want, we are faced with a fundamental choice: We can focus on and complain about all that appears to be falling apart, or we can use that contrast to clarify exactly what we want to rebuild in its place.

JOY SPOTTING and the Art of

Happiness BY SHANN VANDER LEEK

For years I chased happiness thinking it was an outside job. I would find happiness when I earned my first promotion, closed a big account or landed a 6-figure job. I would be happy when I received accolades from my peers about my performance, or when I published my first book. I would be worthy of happiness whenâ&#x20AC;Ś There was always a catch. As a woman who used to be super serious, self-critical and overflowing with Catholic guilt, I had no idea how to find happiness in the present moment. I was so busy trying to bury my past and prove myself for the future, that I rarely ever found time to receive the miracles and magic that danced all around me.

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â&#x201E;˘

One of my first transformational moments happened while listening to Brian Tracy teach about experiencing peace of mind, self-love and positive

thinking in his popular Psychology of Achievement training series. I first listened to Brian while driving to one of the remote offices I used to manage in the late 90’s. The Psychology of Achievement rocked my world and truly changed my life, specifically his training about cultivating peace of mind and ridding ourselves

“Most days I find happiness right under my feet in the tiny wonders of creation.” - Shann Vander Leek of useless shame and guilt. Brian said, ”No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future.” Until that day, it never occurred to me how guilt trips can damage our self-worth and the self-worth of others. The transformational tides began to shift for me in one road trip! From that day forward, I have been practicing ridding my life of guilt and shame. Selfinflicted guilt trips are not welcome here, nor are the

guilt trips often presented by those who have been conditioned to give and received them. In the early 90’s I married a man who for the last 25 years has shown me how to be happy without all of the strings attached. My beloved Thomas is one of my greatest teachers on this Earth walk. Since the beginning of our love story, he’s demonstrated loving kindness, patience, compassion, and he wakes up every day happy to be alive. I’m incredibly grateful to be married to this extraordinary man. And guess who thought I might enjoy listening to Brian Tracy back in the day? Yup, you guessed it. Part of the beauty of being married to a loving and positive partner, along with doing the work of deep healing and personal transformation, is the realization that happiness comes from within. Happiness is an inside job. We simply get to choose how we wish to feel. We get to choose if we want to be happy or pissed off. We get to choose whether we wish to be joyful or moody. We can choose to be trust and surrender or crawl out

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

The nature of my highly competitive personality was to set my site and hit my targets. I almost always met or surpassed my goals. Yet by the time I accomplished my goals and realized my intentions, I was on to the next big thing without allowing for celebration. When I published my first book, it didn’t really occur to me that it was a big deal. I created my outline, worked hard and published a book. Done deal. Next! My inner taskmaster kicked my ass day in and day out, asserting the only way to be truly happy is to work hard and keep achieving more and more. My career in sales was a perfect match for my ‘what have you done for me lately’ ego. I thought I was thriving because of all of my wealth and achievements. In actuality, I was living in the land of too much doing and not enough being. My divinely masculine self had kicked my divinely feminine self to the curb. I had to make some changes and create more balance in my life.

of our skin annoyed by our circumstances. When we make a conscious effort to choose happiness, we can tap into our stores of joy at any time through awareness, mindfulness, music, dance, Yoga, painting, gardening and lots of laughter. And when something comes up that makes us feel sad, we can still find peace in the support of a trusted friend and remember that our sadness will eventually pass. Most days I find happiness right under my feet in the tiniest of wonders.

when one of us has faced a difficult day, we can always come up with at least a few joyful experiences that made us pause and smile. I invite you to create a list of items, experiences and moments which make you feel joyful for one day. Hell, you may even end up with more than ten! What little wonders will make your Joy Spotting™ list?

My signature coaching system includes a lesson about how you can be more mindful of each moment of happiness you experience each day. I call this simple and powerful exercise Joy Spotting™. Every time I bring Joy Spotting™ to a new audience or private client, they get fired up about how easy it is to practice and habitually infuse more happiness into their lives. The art of Joy Spotting™ is cultivating keen awareness of the great and crushing beauty that is all around you. This practice helped me open my eyes to the pleasure of daily life and how to be present for the moments that fill my heart with joy. I cherish experiences like watching the sunset over Lake Michigan, spotting a Bald Eagle flying over northern skies, or the sound of my sweet Mulan kitty purring her face off. I adore listening to my daughter laugh and witnessing my husband create something new with great care. I love adding paint to an empty canvas and love to enjoy a peaceful nap on a weekend afternoon. These are the precious moments of being alive. Joy Spotting™ has also been a great way to keep my family close. We often share our discoveries at the dinner table. And, even

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Shann Vander Leek - Shann is the creator of The Sacred Heart Teachings digital program, author of Life on Your Terms and co-author of three best selling books for women. She hosts the Divine Feminine Spotlight series, and is co-creator of the award winning Anxiety Slayer podcast. A professional voice talent, former TV advertising executive and transformation enthusiast, Shann mentors visionary women who want to walk in beauty with the strength, courage and pleasure of reclaiming their feminine sovereignty. Shann blogs at www.TransformationGoddess.com where women go for a soulful, sensual and sacred exploration.

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

Is An Undercurrent of

FEAR

Impacting Your

Happiness? BY LISA MICHAELS

hether you realize it’s fear or not, ever since 9/11 we’ve collectively experienced fear as an undercurrent in our lives. The worldwide economic challenges during subsequent years amplified the volume of the collective fear even more. Because we’re all connected, we’ve all felt this growing vibrational undercurrent of fear. Many of us don’t recognize this fear because it’s been such a pervasive and chronic condition of our lives, and we don’t realize how much it’s impacting our happiness. We may feel a glimmer of happiness, but then we hear the news of another shooting, threat of war, or some other calamity, and our joy goes away quickly.

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

HOW FEAR WORKS

When fear is instilled in childhood through parenting practices, an overly strict school environment, or religious training, it often forms an emotional core that goes unexamined and unreleased throughout adulthood. Over the years, more fear is simply layered on top with no realization of the accumulation. In the spiritual community, our motto is often “don’t think about or feel fear” and then it won’t impact you. If fear is an undercurrent that has been pervasive in your experience, its influence runs so deep in your feeling core that it’s not as easy as “don’t think it or feel it.” There are multiple ways fear can impact you in each of the elemental realms of Earth, Water, Air, and Fire, as well as on the collective Spiritual level. Here are just a few of them. On the Earth physical level, you’re likely to experience a wave of fear when you encounter a mama bear and her cubs in the wild, a flood that covers the roof of the house at the end of your cul de sac, someone breaking into your home, or being physically attacked in some way. You might also be impacted by day to day physical concerns such as wearing the right outfit to an important event, or more dire

fears, such as not having enough food or a place to sleep. Collectively, we experience fear at the physical level with environmental threats such as contamination after the Gulf oil spill, an earthquake such as the one that hit Haiti, or a tsunami that wiped out an entire area in Japan. Fear may also result from being physically near attacks such as 9/11, bombings or warfare, or where someone with a rifle opens fire on a group. These events bring immediate physical fear but

THE BEST ACTION YOU CAN TAKE TO DEAL WITH THE WAY FEAR MAY BE IMPACTING YOUR HAPPINESS IS TO SIMPLY BEGIN NOTICING IT. they can also keep us awake at night long after the experience. Fear occurs on the Water emotional realm when you’re awash in so much self-doubt it prevents you from taking action. Feelings of fear may be influencing you if you’re having trouble making decisions, you’re steeped in worry, or you can’t focus on generating and creating solutions to the problems you face. In the emotional realm you can also have fear of shame, guilt, or humiliation which blocks you from trying something new, going for your dreams, or experiencing happiness. On the Air mental level, fear is often blasted over the airwaves through both words and pictures. It might come from the radio, the

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

Interestingly, fear is hardwired into our body as a means of protection; it’s an automatic response when the body is threatened. In order to make another choice, we have to recognize what fear feels like in order to defend ourselves from a perceived threat. Then we’re able to direct our energy in a different direction.

television, a political leader, an economist, a teacher, or the pulpit. Hearing threats of economic collapse can move you immediately into a financial survival mode, taking you right out of an income-generating creative mindset.

some way, or not having the energy to bring your dreams into being are fears which inflame the Fire element.

When you hear words that are intended to invoke fear, you need to know how to handle them and re-channel your energy toward happiness. Do you absorb words of fear and allow them to impact your emotions, or can you recognize the blast and make a conscious choice to align with what you want to experience?

Spiritually, you might have a low-grade fear of intolerance or persecution for your beliefs and the way you connect or don’t connect to the Divine. For many years, those who honored nature, upheld science, or believed in the Divine Feminine were considered heretics, and the punishment was often death. You may have an undercurrent of fear impacting your happiness that if you express your essence you won’t be accepted.

The element of Fire is provoked when your fears relate to life spinning out of control or when you feel disempowered in some way. Being in an accident, being overpowered in

RELEASING FEAR AND ACTIVATING HAPPINESS In order to release chronic fear, you need to do some conscious clearing work around it. The best action you can take to deal with the way fear may be impacting your happiness is to simply begin noticing it. Pay attention to your responses to situations. Is fear impacting your happiness? Are you using the two most common fears – lack of time and money – to prevent yourself from going for your dreams and experiencing happiness? When you notice an undercurrent of fear, either personally or collectively, is impacting your happiness, make a conscious choice to realign your energy with happiness. Consciously choosing happiness can help you fully embrace the magical upliftment that it brings.

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Even in circumstances when your choices seem very limited, you still have the ability to choose your response to a situation and align with the vibration of happiness.

You can boost your happiness on each of the elemental realms of creation.

FIRE - ACTION REALM: Notice what actions enliven your sense of happiness, such as a walk in nature, time with family, a fun dance class. Add these activities to your routine as often as possible. SPIRIT - ESSENCE REALM: A deep connection to Spirit, Source, All that Is, God/dess, can add to your lightheartedness and exuberance for life. Center yourself with a meaningful relationship to the Divine. Allow the elemental forces of creation to assist you in moving from an undercurrent of fear to a vibration of happiness.

EARTH - PHYSICAL REALM: Choose to stay in gratitude for all the physical things (even the tiny ones) that bring you joy, uplift your heart, and put a smile on your face. WATER - EMOTIONAL REALM: Infuse love into every area of your life. Fill yourself with love and allow self-doubt to be released to refocus your flow of bliss and contentment.

AIR - MENTAL REALM:

Notice if you are saying anything to yourself that weakens your feeling of well-being and cheerfulness. Focus your thoughts and beliefs on your sense of satisfaction.

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Lisa Michaels - International bestselling author, Divine Feminine leader, and manifestation mentor Lisa Michaels teaches conscious alignment with nature to help visionary women dynamically increase their intuition and creation abilities. Lisa has been helping women activate the priestess within and discover how to own their feminine power for the last 15 years. Her process attracts women from all over the globe in an online community. Learn to live a life of joy and passion that aligns your goals with your values and leads you to consciously create a prosperous life and business with meaning and intention. Download your free creation starter kit on lisa-michaels.com today.

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

Choice directs the powers of creation. Each time you choose something - what you will eat, wear, think, do, not do, express, feel, create, or where you will live, work, play and how you will spend your money and your time - you express your creative energy which helps you design and define yourself, your life, and your relationship with happiness.

How to Create Your

REVOLUTIONARY NEW YEAR IN

BY JACKIE RUKA

f what gets you up in the morning is about what you can create versus what is stopping you then you are on your way to a revolutionary New Year. Are you ready to have a kick-butt 2015? Then read on. As we say good-bye to 2014 and recap personal and global events, most people are relieved to relinquish this past year. Looking back is not necessarily the best way to determine what type of resolutions you should create. Most resolutions do not come to fruition. That is why itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best to not make resolutions, but instead create a revolution, which is a sudden, extreme or complete change. For change to occur you must be the change, as Gandhi so eloquently said. Life either happens to you or you create the life you desire.

The story behind my revolution took place as I lay on my back for six months to heal from severe back pain, nerve damage and a broken identity after walking away from a six-figure career in order to save my own life. And yet, the life I created publicly appeared happy and abundant, but resembled an enormous lack of wellness or self-love behind the scenes. Round and round I went to the point of my rude awakening, where one fateful day my impaired company car went out of control and slowly halted in front of two, 8-foot-tall Buddha statues. The road to denial had ended. This is where the breakdown led to my breakthrough. You see, I could settle on a few goals and medication to recapture

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New Year resolutions are the sissy way of making small changes in far too many areas with hope that your dream life will miraculously happen. However, to truly acquire the life you desire one must define and then commit to your revolution. Here’s how:

1. DEFINE YOUR REVOLUTION –

What does your true heart desire? Choose the one word for this New Year that represents the theme of your revolution.

2. BE GENUINE – To believe in yourself

and create positive change for sustainability in your life, go deep and get real with yourself. What motivates you? If you want to lose 12 pounds to get the good-looking guy, even though it may be a motivator, odds are you will put those pounds back on later. Your intent must be authentic to a purpose containing compassion, gratitude and altruism and not a materialistic or external focus of what you believe will make you feel better. It is about growth toward one’s potential and not about co-dependence.

3. ACCEPTANCE – Accept what you no

longer want or need to be and just be. Perhaps you have played the “doormat” role in your life, which is no longer serving you or others to grow. The sooner you release an old way of doing things the sooner it allows

new energy to align to your revolutionary theme.

4. COURAGE –

It is recognizing what your fear looks like and replacing that energy towards what inspires you. In most cases, fear is an illusion you create from thoughts of scarcity. When you practice courage there is a faith that emerges where you are deserving of all that is good.

5. PROACTIVE – Goals are a great way

to set the basis for being proactive. Stepping outside of your comfort zone feels scary mainly because you are unaware of what tools exist to power you forward. Being proactive requires gathering and utilizing new tools.

6. NEVER GIVE UP – The universe did

not get you this far for you to fail. Whenever I have experienced moments where I was about to give up, I remember this quote: “The moment you are ready to quit is usually the moment right before the miracle happens.” Cheers to you and your revolutionary New Year! Read Online!

Jackie Ruka - International “America’s Happyologist,” Jackie is a lifestyle strategist who founded the Get Happy Zone personal development organization. She is author of the new action guide “Get Happy and Create a Kick Butt Life, a Creative Toolbox for Rapidly Activating the Life You Desire,” available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble or your favorite book store. Opt-in for Optimism to receive 10 Strategies for how to be Happy, Stress- Free and Successful! Visit the www.gethappyzone.com to claim your free gift.

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

the tainted golden handcuffs of the corporate umbrella and perks; or I could choose to look at my authentic self. Choosing my health and happiness versus workaholism and wealth, became paramount to a life of longevity instead of living in fear of, “What if?” The old paradigm is that success leads to happiness. However, the opposite is what led to my revolution: Happiness leads to success.

Where

Happiness Can Take You BY MAL DUANE

014 presented me with some of my greatest challenges in the last ten years. These painful and disruptive experiences, which I call lessons from earth school, inspired me to reach a new level of personal growth and self-reflection, but they weren’t exactly happy times. I must admit there were times I didn’t feel like being compassionate and forgiving of unacceptable behavior. I wanted to say F***-off or better yet, hit my opposition with a barrage of insults. Instead, I’m learning to walk away slowly and think things through. I practiced listening to my inner knowing instead of my bruised ego.

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This transformation wasn’t immediate. There was a weighing process, a back and forth, a deep soul searching and lots of help from my guides and angels. Help me, I asked them. Help me to do what will make us both happy (meaning my spirit guides and me.) Even though it was painful, they showed me what wasn’t working. I have been pushed and pulled this year in directions I never thought possible. In the midst of these emotional hurricanes, I understood that living my truth, being who I am, and not ignoring my boundaries, was the path I needed to follow. There are people in my life that I love, but whom are no longer in alignment with my mission and desire to serve women who are emotionally wounded. The truth is, this supportive and soulful work is what makes me happy. In some way, I must threaten them because I choose not to conform to their demands of me. Did I really want to stop in the midst of fulfilling my divine purpose on this planet to ease the wounded ego of someone who deep down probably doesn’t like me anyway? Not a chance.

There is no better solution to solving your own problems then to help someone else solve theirs.

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

Did I want to think of a loved one who was being downright difficult as a poor, hurting soul? Honestly, no. But when I was able to be compassionate I began to feel happier. I just did. I got my power back. This didn’t mean I accepted the negative behavior patterns. Quite the contrary. It was me saying to myself, you know what? I have no idea how to handle this, but I’m not going to let it get the best of me. I’m going to get through this difficult experience and make my life exactly what I want it to be. I looked at what was truly making me happy and decided to do more of that no matter what.

I started my soulful journey three years ago when I released my book, Alpha Chick. Since then, I’ve met thousands of women with extraordinary stories who have faced fear and allowed their pain to propel them into a life with purpose. For some of these women, the smallest action you or I might take for granted, was a HUGE leap of faith. I will forever be amazed by their courage and tenacity. I’m not going to quit supporting these women because I am challenged, insulted, mistreated or emotionally bullied. Their grit and determination in addressing unfair and life changing circumstances is amazing. It brings me great joy to share and highlight their personal victories. There is no better solution to solving your own problems then to help someone else solve theirs. I’m humbled and grateful to mentor these brave women who are standing up, asking for help and wanting to live a meaningful life. I didn’t ever expect

this to be something I would do in my life. My calling lifts me to a place that is above and beyond happiness and into pure joy. My spiritual practice is what I know will truly lead me further into joy and absolute bliss. When people want drama, I can learn to see it as tedium and let it go. Changing how I react to those who are irritating or hurting me will lead me to a more blissful state of awareness. I can protect my heart. I can choose to no longer be available for battle. By releasing anger and letting things go in one ear and out the other, I choose peace and acceptance. I choose to travel in the 4th dimension and not worry about describing my path to those who dwell in the 3rd dimension to satisfy my ego.

By releasing anger and letting things go in one ear and out the other, I choose peace and acceptance. Tomorrow when I wake up I will be calm and feel complete. I will know that I did the very best I could the day before. I will remember that I chose the high ground and stayed out of the muddy fields of revenge and cruel attacks on the individuals who challenged me. Instead, I send them love to heal the wounds buried so deep within them that they don’t know they exist. To me, compassion is freeing and the best form of happiness I know. This feeling lifts me up, it supports me and makes my soul content and leaves my spirit at peace. The simple knowing of what I am here for is happiness at its peak form. True bliss. Read Online!

Mal Duanes - Using her own life experiences as a catalyst, Women’s Life Recovery Coach and bestselling author Mal

My work is about collaboration, not competition. I feel the grace of the Angels around me, guiding me. My intentions are for the highest and best outcome for all parties involved. I can feel my emotional and spiritual growth. My anger is short lived. I don’t need to win or to be right. I just want to walk away with peace of mind.

Duane is passionately committed to empowering women in releasing the shackles of shame, pain and self-condemnation to live a life of passion and purpose. Mal is an esteemed “Architect for Change” and blogger on MariaShriver.com, host of the highly successful teleseries event Reclaim Your Life as well as the bestselling author of Alpha Chick: Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power as well as a co-author in Inspiration for a Woman’s Soul: Choosing Happiness. Visit www.MalDuaneCoach.com to claim your free Life Recovery Kit today.

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Spoonfuls of

Spirituality

n April 24th I opened the first page of Shirley MacLaine’s book Dancing in the Light. From then on Shirley becomes my spiritual teacher. I follow her lead by tracing her tracks. As determined as I was, I placed my first footstep on the trail of my spiritual quest. Shirley writes, “On the morning of April 24th...” and continues, “I couldn’t accept the synchronicity of my personal event as merely accidental. As I had told everybody I knew, I no longer believed there was such a thing as an accident. Everything that happened was a result of some form of cause and effect and therefore had an underlying reason.”

BY SASKIA ROELL

as if I am struck by lightning. So is my heart. My Soul’s light is turned ON, my torch is lit and there is a new chapter of my life: The Inner Journey begins. The book hadn’t landed in my lap merely by accident. Oh, how I was ready to dance in the light! I vibrate now at another frequency. How come I never knew all this? I dance and swirl around my small room. I want to tell the world we are eternal beings, we are

The sun sets when I start reading and the sun rises when I look up and turn the last page. My world has changed overnight. It feels

made and molded out of love and we never die. It all makes sense. Of course, there is karma and life after death. The law of cause and effect says there are no accidents. We design our own destiny and I can’t wait to start right away. Suddenly, I am given the insight we are the creators of our own life. We can make any dream come true. I understand we attract every experience into our reality. I keep shaking my head in disbelief of how asleep I was. Shirley‘s words were very clear and I resonated with every word she wrote. Synchronicity is at my side and OF COURSE the timing of this book was divine. Everything falls in place. Instantly my world becomes round instead of flat. The Dutch land birthed me and housed my Soul. Now it was time to journey and explore the inner world so I may come full circle. Perhaps it was symbolic. I left the flat land soon after I finished the book. The direction I was to follow was lit up, bright and shiny. I couldn’t miss the light. Despite my lack of sleep, I am wide-awake when I bike a few hours later to the Salad Garden, my favorite restaurant. I meet Jacqueline for a Dutch café au lait, served in big white soup bowls. My cheeks are flushed as I enter the restaurant. My ‘holy bible’ is tucked under my arm. I can’t lose sight of Shirley right now. My birth mother needs to be at my side. I walk to the table and show Jacqueline the book. I want to share it all. I start to lecture her about how logical it is that reincarnation is our Soul’s way to learn and evolve. It makes sense we are reborn many times. We are slow learners. I can’t stop talking and I

hardly take the time to taste the fresh baked pie. Jacqueline listens but can’t catch up. My speech goes faster than I can explain. For the first time I feel my life is validated and my life purpose is clear. I want to include my best friend in all these life-changing insights. Jacqueline is lost in my new trail— she wonders where I am going with this. I leave the Salad Garden and feel vibrant and full of life. My look at life has changed. I race home to read some parts of the book again. I wish I could visit America and trace Shirley’s steps. I want to visit the gurus she met and I long to learn everything about spirituality. My fire is ignited and there is nothing that can hold me back. I am more than curious. And now that my torch is lit, I want to find my answers to what was worth seeing and where I am to go. The Universe takes me by the hand. My boyfriend Josh calls me a few days later and asks if I want to go out for dinner. “We need to talk about something,” is all he says. I frown. Josh is never serious and not especially much of a talker. What is this going to be about? The subject of marriage doesn’t cross my mind; how little did I know of what was coming. A move to America…

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Saskia Roell - As a Soul Purpose Expert, Fertility and Birthing Coach, bestselling author, co- author with Jack Canfield, energy healer, speaker,and mother of five, Saskia Roell successfully helps women to manifest their Soul’s calling, love motherhood and create happy families that raise kids that thrive! Visit www.BreakthroughMiracles.com to claim 29 Tools for a Happy Family HERE.

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

HEALTH & WELLNESS

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” Jim Rohn

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5 Tools to Raise Kids Who

Love Healthy Foods

BY MIA MORAN

Learning to slay your anxiety begins with personal awareness. Why is it that we moms spend hours, weeks, months researching the best schools and summer camps, finding the best Christmas presents and birthday gifts, scoping out the best flat screen TVs, but we want to cook dinner in a quick 20 minutes? We don’t teach them two simple skills they will need for their whole life — healthy eating and cooking. Here are 5 tools for healthy eating – for Everyone, Every Day, lead by mom. Read the full article online.

CHECK OUT MORE ONLINE!

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l Live & Virtua

UPCOMING EVENTS

Goddesses Never Age:

Owning Your

Beauty A

BY CHRISTIANE NORTHRUP, MD

n ageless goddess rejects ageism and owns her beauty. One way you can do that is to acknowledge it through affirmations or a Divine Beloved Change Me prayer, such as “Divine Beloved, change me into someone who sees, appreciates, and cultivates my own beauty.” Another way to own your beauty is to adorn it in your own personal style. Don’t think of clothes as “fixing” a “figure flaw” but as flattering you and bringing out your natural beauty. Spend money on clothes that make you feel beautiful. How a jacket or dress is cut can make a huge difference in how you feel in an outfit. A friend of mine jokes that at 50 she dresses pretty much the same as she did in

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As Shirley MacLaine has said, “I don’t think you go out of style when you’re living in the present most of the time.” Don’t be embarrassed about developing a style that’s right for you right now—and asking someone to help you if that’s what you need. Agelessness means being daring and courageous, so take some chances. I know this can be hard to do because we live in a shaming culture, but don’t give in to other people’s limited ideas about how you should dress or style your hair. If you want to keep

HEALTH & WELLNESS

the second grade: turtleneck or simple long- or short-sleeve shirt or sweater, jeans or trousers, and flat black shoes. The look works for her and she is happy sticking to it. But now she’s meticulous about choosing the cut, color, and style of every item in that simple list. She can spot in an instant whether an item is even worthy of trying on her Aphrodite body. And she feels great and is often complimented on her looks and style. Where she sometimes gets daring is with jewelry and lipstick. She says, “I take chances with accessories or makeup when I feel like it, not because I’m trying to please other people and be trendy and fashionable. When I was younger, my look said, ‘I can fit in and be anything you need me to be.’ Now my look is classic me.” She doesn’t worry about whether her look is trendy, or “too young,” “too old,” “too conservative,” or “too” anything else.

your hair long, go for it. If you want to dye it purple, don’t let anyone stop you. If you’re a bold lipstick kind of woman, choose a shade that can be seen across a room. Do you love stilettos? Find yourself a pair that’s five inches high, and develop the muscles in your feet and ankles so that you can wear them proudly and skillfully—at least for an hour or so. And if you want to get your eyes done or have a facelift, go for that too. That is how an ageless goddess owns her beauty—no shaming, no apologies. And if you don’t know who you are in terms of your personal style, use adornment to help you figure it out. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and see how it feels to

“I don’t think you go out of style when you’re living in the present most of the time.” – Shirley MacLaine

own a new way of doing your makeup (or going without), a new way of dressing (or merely tweaking the way you have always dressed), or a new way of styling your hair. Is your appearance highly valued in your line of business? If so, I encourage you to invest in hiring a personal stylist. A good one will help you own your beauty rather than try to pressure you to dress a certain way because “everyone’s wearing this now.” It’s completely worth the money to find clothing that works for you and makes you feel beautiful and confident. Some women just have the gift of personal style, but for those of us who don’t, a hired advisor—or a good friend who has the gift—is a marvelous thing. When you work in the public eye, it’s especially important to let go of any fear of asking for help in this area. That said, if someone tells you that you shouldn’t wear something, but it feels right when you put it on and you like how it looks, don’t take her advice. Do you have self-nurturing beauty rituals? I don’t wear a lot of makeup on a typical day, but I do get a blowout at a salon every Friday. It’s a beauty ritual that says, “Bring on the weekend!” and makes me feel like a goddess. I mentioned the benefits of massage earlier, and it can be a marvelous beauty ritual too. So can facials, manicures,

and pedicures. If you don’t have a lot of money, do it yourself at home or with your daughters, granddaughters, or girlfriends. Go to a spa or a beauty school. I like the new Shellac manicures done with UV light that last for a couple of weeks. Something as small as having lovely nails, or glowing skin after a facial, can boost your confidence too. It can be fun to choose outrageous colors or match them to an outfit that flatters you. If you don’t want color, you can get a manicure and get clear polish or no nail polish at all, and enjoy the sensation of warm paraffin on your hands and a hand massage. © 2015. Reprinted with permission. Goddesses Never Age by Christiane Northrup, MD. Hay House. February 2015. www.HayHouse.com

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Christiane Northrup, MD - Christiane is a visionary pioneer and leading authority in the field of women’s health and wellness. A board-certified OB/GYN physician, Dr. Northrup graduated from Dartmouth Medical School and did her residency at Tufts New England Medical Center in Boston. She was also an assistant clinical professor of OB/GYN at Maine Medical Center for 20 years. Dr. Northrup has spent her life as an advocate for women’s health and wellness, first as a practicing OB/GYN physician and now as an internationally respected writer and speaker. Visit www.DrNorthrup.com to learn more

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

True Fear and rue fear is a survival mechanism meant to protect you. It’s the kind of fear an animal experiences when a predator stalks it, triggering the fight-or-flight response that may save its life. True fear is what you experience when your minivan goes out of control on the interstate. False fear, on the other hand, shows up as worry, anxiety, and ruminations about all the things that could go wrong in an imaginary future. It’s always the finger pointing toward something that needs to be healed in your mind. In this way, both true fear and false fear can help you, if you know how to interpret them in healthy ways.

HEALTH & WELLNESS

False Fear BY LISSA RANKIN

If someone could wave a magic wand and make you fearless, you probably wouldn’t survive very long. Those who grow up to be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder are often fearless as children, and such fearlessness puts them at great risk. Fear is critical to our safety and survival. But the very thing that protects you can go haywire. Although false fear can illuminate areas in your life that need your attention, healthy decisions that guide appropriate behavior never arise from false fear; they arise from intuition and integrity. Learning to discern between true fear and false fear

allows you to know which voices in your head you can trust to guide your decisions. True fear is the fear you feel as you lean over a cliff and realize that one misstep could kill you. It’s the fear you feel when you meet a mountain lion on your hike. It’s the fear you feel when someone holds a gun to your head. It can also be the calm, measured voice in your head that says, This

guy is dangerous or I need to go check on the baby right this second. The voice of true fear is meant to keep you safe. You may think that false fear keeps you safe, too. Perhaps you think that worrying about your finances will keep you financially secure. Maybe you think that fear of having your child abducted leads you to take better care of him or her. You might think fear of getting sick keeps you from engaging in reckless behaviors. Maybe you think you’re more likely to quit smoking or eat organic because you’re afraid your health will suffer. Many people think fear is the only thing keeping them from reckless behavior that might threaten their career, their financial stability, their marriage, their quest for excellence, their reputation, their health, and the safety of those they love. But does false fear really help you behave more responsibly? If you weren’t afraid, would you throw away your money, leave your child unattended, and gorge on sugar? Is false fear what motivates you to make good decisions? And are the stress responses such fears activate worth the risk they cause to your body? No! By shining a light on what needs to be healed, false fear may indeed play a role in helping you look at your money issues, your bad habits, your parenting challenges, and any dissatisfaction in a relationship. False fear may also alert you when creative problem solving is called for. If you can recognize it as a signal not to let stress responses run amok but to explore the situation further, in a calm, relaxed, intuitive way, false fear may have something to teach you. For example, maybe you’re afraid about getting cancer, even though you just got a clean bill of health

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The key is understanding that you don’t need the fear in order to motivate healthy, responsible behavior, although it’s worth paying attention to the fear that may point a finger in the direction you need to be looking. When false fear is in charge, your mind gets smaller. You limit your ability to problem solve creatively. You’re paralyzed into inaction. But when you’re able to let

fear help you expand your consciousness, something opens up, and you’re able to make better decisions. ©2015. Reprinted with permission. The Fear Cure by Lissa Rankin. Hay House. February 2015. www.HayHouse.com

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HEALTH & WELLNESS

from your doctor. Perhaps the fear stems from an intuitive knowing signaling you that your unhealthy lifestyle may be putting you at risk of cancer, even though you don’t have it yet. Maybe your instincts are telling you to stop eating so many processed foods, ditch the cigarettes, and start meditating so your immune system is better able to maintain healthy homeostasis. Or maybe you’re afraid of running out of money, even though there’s plenty of money currently in your bank account. Perhaps this is an alert from your intuition that the reckless way you’ve been spending needs to stop so you can build up more of a buffer in case something unexpected happens to your income stream.

Lissa Rankin, M.D. - Lissa, New York Times bestselling author of Mind Over Medicine and The Fear Cure, is a physician, speaker, founder of the Whole Health Medicine Institute, and spiritual seeker. Passionate about what makes people optimally healthy and what predisposes them to illness, she is on a mission to merge science and spirituality in a way that not only facilitates the health of the individual; it also heals the collective. As she became aware of how fear dominates modern culture and how such fear predisposes us not only to unhappiness but to disease, she began researching ways to befriend fear so we can let it heal and liberate us, opening us up to greater compassion, not just for others, but for ourselves. Lissa has starred in two PBS specials and also leads spirituality workshops, both online, as well as at retreat centers like Esalen, Kripalu, and Omega. When doing what she can to sprinkle pixie dust on a fear-based culture, Lissa loves to hike, ski, and dance. She lives in the San Francisco Bay area with her daughter. Read her blog and learn more at LissaRankin.com.

“Learning to discern between tr ue fear and false fear a llows you t o know whic h voices in your head you can tru st to guide your decisions.” Tama K ieves

Happiness Begins With I

Self-Care BY MARY E. PRITCHARD, PH.D.

t was the week after Thanksgiving and I found myself stressed, sad, and sleepdeprived. Too much work and taking care of everyone else and too little self-care. So I went where I tend to go when I get stressed: within. I retreated, withdrew, tried to pretend that everything was fine. It wasn’t; and I got walking pneumonia for my troubles. I didn’t communicate with my man about my distress like I should have. I didn’t let him know how upset I was that despite the fact that I had walking pneumonia, I was still the one responsible for the grocery shopping and meal preparation. That despite the fact that I knew in my heart I needed to ask him for help and support as I was the one who was ill, I remained silent. Most importantly, I forgot to take care of me.

A week and a half later, my pneumonia wasn’t showing signs of improvement and I was still experiencing chest pains. So I went to one of my girlfriends for some sympathy. I got all that and more. “Why do you have walking pneumonia?” she asked. “Because I haven’t been speaking my truth with my man,” I replied. “Well at least you know it,” she snarked. “Now what are you going to do about it?” That’s when it hit me. I got myself in this position because of my own choices. I chose to make dinner every night instead of asking for help. I chose to take care of my man instead of taking care of myself. I chose to put self-care at the very end of my

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lengthy to-do list. I had no one to blame for my illness but myself. I decided that some things had to change – for my health, for my sanity, for my life.

What she said in the first chapter blew me away.

“I’ve come to learn that over-giving is often a sign of deprivation—a signal that a need isn’t being met, an emotion isn’t being expressed, or a void isn’t getting filled. For example, while you might dedicate hours to coordinating the family’s social calendar, you may actually be yearning for deeper and more meaningful connections, stimulating conversation, or greater intimacy with yourself. You might also be available and generous with others because on some level you have an unconscious desire to get what you give, whether it’s acknowledgment, affection, recognition, or support. Becoming aware of how and why you feel deprived can be a key to recognizing what needs to shift emotionally and physically to achieve Extreme Self-Care.” - Cheryl Richardson

“Rather than feel like a victim to something outside of yourself, when you realize that you alone are responsible for over-giving, you can actually empower yourself to do something about it. After all, no one else says yes, overbooks your schedule, or makes the needs of others a priority but you. The gift in owning this reality is that you own the power to change it, too.” - Cheryl Richardson Wow. The choice to stop over-giving, to take care of ourselves, to be happy really IS all up to us. I also decided to take my own advice and go back to the 50% rule. What’s the 50% rule? I’ve heard it described a few different ways, but the idea is this:

Each morning, start off your day by checking your energy tank. Simply ask yourself: “Where is my energy level today?” Sometimes I add a second question: “Where am I emotionally right now?” as I’ve noticed a difference between my emotional and physical energy levels.

sk yourself, “What do I need today to raise A my energy level?” Again – sometimes I ask this twice – once for physical energy levels and once for emotional.

HEALTH & WELLNESS

I went to the library and checked out Cheryl Richardson’s The Art of Extreme Self-Care because I knew it was time for something radical.

She then goes on to say:

3. 4. 5. 6.

Do whatever your heart tells you to do to raise your energy level(s) or make a plan to do it later that day.

I f either level is below 50%, stop. Don’t do anything else that day until you’ve done something to get your energy level back above 50%. I f your tank is running low, keep periodically re-checking throughout the day to see where you’re at and what you need.

Check in frequently with your energy tank – I’m doing that exercise several times a day. I drew a heart on my hand in purple ink so whenever I see it that will serve as a reminder to check in.

Get some sleep – I rarely meet women that get enough sleep, especially when they’re below 50%. In fact, lack of sleep is often a contributor to that below 50% state.

Go back to the basics with your selfcare – consult your absolute yes and absolute no lists, read tips for selfcare, and most of all tune in to yourself and take care of you – whatever it takes. You’re worth it!

Then go do it!

So what’s the plan? How do you get yourself consistently back above 50%?

Will you make the choice to be happy? What will you do today to make it happen?

Consult your checklist – fellow Aspire columnist Stacey Martino once suggested that you start by making a list of all the things you love to do that boost your mood and energy level. That way when you fall below 50% - and may be in no mood to figure out what you need to do to get back above it – you can just look at your list and have at it.

Check in with your body – in its infinite wisdom, it always knows what it needs

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Mary E. Pritchard, PhD - Mary is the founder of the “Awakening the Goddess Within” virtual community, a Professor of Psychology at Boise State University, an esteemed blogger at Psychology Today and Huffington Post, and a frequent contributor to Aspire Magazine. Mary is passionate about empowering women in reconnecting with their Inner Goddesses, stepping through fear, and embracing the truth of who they are. Download your free e-workbook, “The 10 Signs Your Inner Goddess is Calling You and Tips to Answering this Sacred Call” at www.AwakeningtheGoddessWithin.net.

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

THE

Wise Woman Way

FOLLOW YOUR

Happiness BY SUSUN WEED

“Happiness runs in a circular motion. . . “ –Donovan

he pursuit of happiness is guaranteed in the Constitution of the United States of America. The pursuit of happiness, not the accomplishment of it. And that is how many of us spend our time: pursuing happiness, but never actually feeling that we have achieved it or accomplished it. When Annie Sprinkle taught her Sacred Sex: Goddesses and Sluts workshops at the Wise Woman Center, she shared many ways to increase happiness. Some involved Tantric breathing and some involved chocolate, but my favorite, and one which I continue to do to this day is this simple, clear assignment: Make a list of ten things that make you happy and do at least one of them every day.

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Material? Yes, happiness is not a dream. It is a manifestation, it is part of the material world and is to be manifested. Happiness that endures is not just in my mind but in my body. When I reach out to pet the cat, when I put my bare feet on the ground, when I sing, I manifest happiness. My list included simple things like petting warm furry animals. (My cats, my rabbits, and my goats.) Being outside. (Walking outside even better.) Reading aloud. (Best is to my granddaughter.) Going barefoot. Reading (silently) to myself by candlelight. Singing.

Popular lore holds that happiness cannot be bought. Yet it seems that it can. Everywhere we look, people spend money in order to be happy.

And my list included more complicated, more goal-oriented things, like creating a Wellness Adventure in Costa Rica and getting eight women to come. (Done.) And building a new, maintenance-free deck and patio at the Wise Woman Center. (Also done.) And digging a one-acre pond instead of enduring a mosquito-infested swamp. (Also done.) And, of course, earning the money to do these things. Yes, happiness can (needs to) be found in the smallest day-to-day details. But there is also a vast well of happiness to be had from envisioning – and then manifesting – something grand, elegant, and vast. This kind of happiness is not the work of a moment; it requires foresight, vision, and persistence.

Perhaps there is a distinction between a momentary happiness – a wonderful meal, a trip somewhere, a ticket to a special performance, a new computer – which I can buy, and happiness which is enduring, which is perhaps not for sale.

HEALTH & WELLNESS

And it is a deeply material kind of happiness. I am happy every time I sit by my pond, every time I enjoy a meal on my new deck/ patio, and as I sit here in Costa Rica with nine women enjoying pura vida.

“You can have it all, if you let yourself be.” –Donovan Yet, I have had meals so memorable that, decades afterwards, it never fails to give me great happiness when I think of them. And every trip I have made has yielded a trove of experiences which made me happy then and happy now, long after I have returned home. I believe satisfaction is the secret ingredient in happiness. When I am satisfied, the happiness keeps flowing. Satisfied happiness persists through the difficulties of life. It underlays our grief, it motivates our rage. Although I literally wept when the earthmoving machine tore up the swamp, even though I cringed when the turtles and frogs and snakes had to flee, and despite the fact that I was aghast at the bare earth, shorn of all its plants, and the trees pushed down and buried, I was happy. I was satisfied. The turtles have returned, as have the snakes and frogs. And a mink lives by the new pond and a great blue heron comes to fish there. Yesterday I saw a kingfisher on the utility wire that passes over the pond on the way to my house. Bluebirds nest in the dead trees we left at the edges. The earth is covered with a woven miracle of green and growing plants, some of which are new to my land. Conspicuously missing are the previous owners: clouds of mosquitos. I am happy. I am satisfied.

I am happy to be a human, happy to be a woman, happy to be a grandmother, happy and satisfied. More makes me happy too. So I keep dreaming, keep envisioning: A teaching trip to Australia (happening next year), a return to Findhorn (in a year or two), another book or two (I actually promised to write ten and have only done five so far), the return of herbal medicine to the home and the heart of the common person (herbal medicine is people’s medicine), and the impower-ment of women worldwide (slowly but surely). I happily pursue the next happiness, with great joy and delight for the happiness I already have. What makes you happy? Make a list. Follow your happiness.

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Susun Weed – An internationally renowned herbalist, author, and director of the Wise Woman Center in New York. She is a revered voice of the Wise Woman Tradition, where women’s bodies and women’s emotions are valued. Susun is a founding grandmother of the herbal renaissance and the originator of the concept of complementary medicine. www.SusunWeed.com

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

RELATIONSHIPS

“Happiness is when what you

think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” Gandhi

ad Re ne! li On

10 Minutes a Day to Improved r Kids u Yo h it w on ti a ic n u Comm

BY JILL HOPE

No matter how busy we are and how hard we may find it to offer our children our presence, it is so very important to find that one perfect time, even a chunk of 10 minutes a day, where we can really just relax and be with our children and listen to their thoughts. It is in these times of being

“real” and present with our children that they gain a true sense of their well-being,

and can begin to view us as trusted confidants, rather than just schedule managers and rule enforcers. Read the article online.

CHECK OUT MORE ONLINE!

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UPCOMING EVENTS

TRANSFORMING

Relationship

Your

DESIRE: The Life-Force of Your Relationship D

BY STACEY MARTINO

o you crave your partner all day long?

Do you walk around all charged up, consumed by the thought of touching him, grabbing him, smelling him and feeling him next to you? Are you just electric with the energy of desire that you have for your manâ&#x20AC;Śimpatiently anxious for the next time you can get in his pants?

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Does your man crave you and desire you to the point that he can’t keep his hands off of you anytime you are near?

No? Sound like a fantasy? I used to think that too….but now, that could describe any moment of any day of the week in our house! No, we are not “newlyweds”…. Paul and I have been together 18 years. We have been through hell and back together. Our relationship has been hanging-by-athread. My nickname used to be the Ice Princess. And my husband used to be so disconnected that when the two of us would come together, passion was a real struggle. I used to tell myself that I didn’t NEED passion to be happy.

If you do what most people do…you will get the results that most people get! And most people are living in this passionless relationship epidemic. You heard me correctly…most people are in passion-less relationships! Perhaps you are stuck here too? The passion has fizzled and the sex is infrequent or has stopped completely? Maybe you feel that you and your partner make great parents, roommates or friends? And perhaps, at times, you even tell yourself that “for the good of your family” you will do without the passion you deeply want and meet your needs through escape or distraction?

If you are telling yourself that you can be ‘Happy without Passion’ in your relationship….you are lying to yourself!

While I honor and respect your good intention and I have tremendous love and compassion for you, escape, denial and distraction are all ways of momentarily numbing the pain of your passion-less relationship….but unfortunately, doing so will also keep you STUCK in the passionless relationship epidemic!

You are WIRED for passion…hot, exciting, electric, ravishing, satisfying, unleashed passion! It’s your Life-Force!

As a relationship expert many people come to me when they are in two phases of relationship.

And without it, a part of you is dying!

One phase is this passion-less relationship space. Where there is caring and maybe even love between the two partners, but the passion has fizzled.

But here’s the truth…

Instead of facing this pain of living in a passion-less relationship, most people try

RELATIONSHIPS

Does he walk by and whisper in your ear all the things he’s going to do to you later to take you to new heights of pleasure and wild abandon?

to distract themselves or escape. Perhaps you go shopping, eat, drink, work out, go on Facebook, work on the house or the most popular two distractions…bury yourself in your work or with your kids?

Another phase where people seek me out is when the relationship is hanging-by-athread. One or both partners are considering leaving the relationship. At times they feel they want to try to save it and other times they are so fed up and exhausted they wonder if it would just be easier to leave.

To you, the two relationship phases I just described may sound like completely different relationships…light-years apart, right? To me, they are the same relationship… it’s just a timing difference.

Very often, the passion will fade in a relationship. The partners will have less and less sex as time goes on. Eventually, they will revert to being good friends, parents and roommates. However, as time passes, it becomes painfully obvious that you are no longer having sex with the only person on the planet you are “allowed” to have sex with. The distance grows and the rejection, pain and resentment start to build. Eventually you begin to lead what we call “parallel lives”. Where you live under the same roof and go through the motions together, but you try not to “bump” into each other, because every encounter is a painful reminder of what you no longer share together (like bumping into a scab on a wound). Until one day, the reason that is keeping you together leaves (or moves out of your house) and you find yourself wondering why you are even together and if you can tolerate living like this until you die. And then all of a sudden you realize you are in that other phase…your relationship is hanging-by-a-thread. The difference between “passionless” and “hanging-by-a-thread” is just a timing difference.

Let me explain.

You can bring the passion back NOW!

Did you ever hear this joke? “What’s the difference between salad and garbage?” “Time!”

You can transform your relationship to create a trust, bond and rock-solid alignment where nothing and nobody comes between you. You can bring the spark, excitement, energy, desire, craving and ravishing, satisfying intimacy back to your relationship. In fact, in a shorter amount of time than you think, it can be hotter and more electric than it ever was!

It’s the same thing in the two relationship phases I described above. If you are in a passion-less relationship, it’s likely that you don’t see this for yourself at all. But from my perspective, I see it all too clearly.

How?

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Because reaching the level of trust and vulnerability that is required to unleash your passion together requires that you

STEP 1

REALIGN WITH YOUR FEMININE RADIANCE!

Many women in today’s society are stuck operating from their masculine. When you realign with your core feminine energy, you allow for the SPARK of polarity to turn back on. Polarity is the spark of electricity between the masculine and the feminine. If polarity is missing, you can’t have the passion you desire.

2 FOR A WOMAN, THE KEY TO UNLEASHED PASSION IS VULNERABILITY!

If you are not experiencing unleashed passion in your relationship right now, it’s because you are not willing to be as vulnerable as is required to reach that level of passion with your man.

3 SEX PROBLEMS ARE RARELY SEX PROBLEMS!

If your sex life is not what you want it to be, the actual “problem” is rarely a sex problem. In our 8 step Relationship Transformation System®, Sensuality (sex) is Step Eight. It’s last.

RELATIONSHIPS

The 3 Keys to Reigniting Your Passion!

Get clear what you really want from your relationship

STEP 2 Shift your perspective so you can get unstuck

STEP 3 Learn the strategies that will help you understand your man like never before

STEP 4 Discover how to implement a newfound synergy to your relationship, so that you act as a team and STOP keeping score.

STEP 5 Start anew by wiping the slate clean – entirely.

WHY?

STEP 6

“When you realign wit h your core femin ine energy, you a for the SPA RK of pola llow rity to turn back on. Polarit y is the spark of ele ctricity bet wee masculine and the fem n the inine”

Follow a tested path to ignite the SPARKS and REAL PASSION back into your relationship.

STEP 7

Stacey

Find out how you can start “dating your partner” again to keep the energy alive!

STEP 8 and THEN, you will be able to experience the kind of trust required and reach the level of vulnerability required to learn how to bring back the sensuality in your relationship to give it a much-needed boost of energy and lust…(Step 8)! If you are not yet experiencing the unleashed passion you desire…most likely the source of your challenges is in Steps 1 – 7…it’s not a ‘sex’ problem! That’s why we give away all 8 steps of our Relationship Transformation System® so you can implement each step…handling the CAUSE, and experiencing the transformation you desire in your relationship every day!!!

Martin

Read Online!

Stacey Martino - Stacey Martino helps people who feel stuck, frustrated and helpless with the challenges of intimate relationship. Through strategic private coaching, programs and events for her Relationship Transformation System™, individuals learn to use her proven strategies and tools to create an unshakable love and unleashed passion that lasts a lifetime. Stacey firmly believes that it does NOT take two to tango, that one person can significantly shift the dynamics of the relationship. Trained and certified by Tony Robbins and Cloe Madanes, Stacey is a certified marriage educator and divorce preventionist. Stacey is a sought-after relationship expert appearing on numerous media outlets and telesummits. Download our free audio program “How to Transform Your Relationship in Eight Steps” and begin creating your magnificent relationship today!

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

St acey

Interview with

Martino

LOVE AND PASSION COACH Aspire Magazine is honored to introduce you to Love and Passion Coach Stacey Martino, Aspireâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Expert Relationship Columnist. Stacey helps people who feel stuck, frustrated and helpless with the challenges of intimate relationship. Through strategic private coaching, programs and events for her Relationship Transformation Systemâ&#x201E;˘, individuals learn to use her proven strategies and tools to create an unshakable love and unleashed passion that lasts a lifetime. Stacey firmly believes that it does NOT take two to tango, that one person can significantly shift the dynamics of the relationship. Trained and certified by Tony Robbins and Cloe Madanes, Stacey is a certified marriage educator and divorce preventionist.

Stacey, when I first heard you and Paul’s relationship journey over dinner last spring I was blown away, as were all the women at the table. It’s hard to believe that the love and passion we witness between you two today wasn’t always there. I know it’s extremely personal, but would you mind sharing how your painful relationship journey became you and Paul’s mission today. Of course Linda, I’m happy to share. If our journey can help even one relationship then the pain was all worth it. You are right, the love, passion and connection everyone sees between Paul and I today was not there fourteen years ago. In fact, my relationship with Paul was hanging by a thread. During

distance I kept, had FAILED. My fail-safes didn’t protect me from having my heart broken. In the same moment, I was also terrified that I would lose the man that I loved without the chance to be my true authentic self with him. Without any relationship skills (only my raw vulnerability), I poured my soul out to Paul and promised him I would figure out a way to be my real self. Instead of playing half-assed I’d show up playing “full-assed!” Whatever that meant... Luckily for me, Paul was deeply moved by my raw vulnerability, which he’d never experienced before, and agreed to give our relationship one more chance. So I jumped in with both feet. I studied everything I

In intimate relationships, love comes from sameness. However, passion comes from differences. a very raw and painful summer night, he came to see me to find an elegant way of asking me if we could go back to being best friends, because our dating relationship was going so terribly. In a total breakdown (that surprised me as much as it surprised him), I sobbed uncontrollably. I describe my reaction as surprising because back then my nickname was “The Ice Princess” and it was a fitting title for me. That night, something inside of me snapped, and through the tears I had a deep knowing that all the “self-protecting” that I’d done, the walls I put up and the

could to transform myself. Some things were incredibly helpful, other things caused a lot of damage. Ultimately, I completely transformed myself, and my transformation shifted Paul. One day he came to me and asked me what I was doing to create such a huge shift for us. From that day forward, we both dove in by investing 14 years and over six figures to transform our relationship into the magnificent love affair we enjoy today. Today it is our mission to help every person who wants to transform their relationship and create a magnificent love affair.

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

Stacey, I love your motto “it does not take two to tango”. That’s quite different from what we’ve all been led to believe isn’t it? Can one person really transform their intimate relationship without the other partner participating? And how can they do this? Actually, the truth is that ONE partner is ALWAYS changing the relationship. That’s how relationship shifts. And you have experienced this. Have you ever come home in a really awesome mood and feeling really great, only to find your partner is in a crap mood and really in the “toilet”? What happens to your mood? It drops straight down, right? Of course. One partner is always shifting the other partner. That’s how relationship works. All we are doing is empowering one partner with the tools and strategies to consistently bring out the best in their partner so as to create a transformation in the relationship! Honestly, the truth is that it’s VERY rare for both partners, in the same relationship, to both want to work on the relationship at the same time, using the same modality. It just doesn’t happen that way. Unfortunately, that’s what keeps so many people STUCK in a relationship that’s not what they want it to be….but it doesn’t have to be that way! Today, thanks to our Relationship Transformation System® thousands of people around the world are proving every day that ONE partner CAN transform a relationship!

Stacey, I can feel a lot of women might be thinking “well if he doesn’t want to work on this relationship, why should I?” What would you say to that? You don’t have to. You can absolutely sit around and wait to see if maybe your husband will take action to change your relationship into what you truly want. What do you honestly feel is the chance of that happening? And to be frank with you darling…if YOU are having a thought like “why should I?”, then odds are he is playing the same scorekeeping game with you…and he is thinking “why should I?” Your relationship impacts every area of your life, your kids, work, family, health, finances, happiness, confidence, self-worth… everything. Personally, I’m not a big fan of leaving my quality of life in someone else’s hands. Maybe he will do something about it… maybe he won’t? I prefer to empower myself and create the life I want! It’s your relationship…you either have to live IN it or live through LEAVING it, it’s your choice.

Let’s talk about one of the fundamental causes of the “passion-less” relationship epidemic that is affecting so many couples. In your work with thousands of people, you’ve discovered that one of the key issues is a lack of POLARITY, which is the spark between masculine and feminine energy. Why is this happening and what can we do about it?

In intimate relationships, love comes from sameness. However, passion comes from differences. So unfortunately, in the natural progression of a long-term relationship, as we have more in common and go deeper into love, we have fewer differences and the passion fades away. It doesn’t have to be this way though! You can create a height of passion that matches the depth of your love! The greatest opportunity we have in intimate relationships to create this passion is through Polarity – the SPARK between the masculine and feminine energies. Masculine energy or “presence” is that deep, rooted, immovable, decisive, confident energy when a man knows who he is, knows what he wants and won’t let anything stop him from achieving his outcome. This is

the masculine presence that every woman craves. Unfortunately these days, men lack positive role models demonstrating a mature masculine presence. In an effort to be less threatening and more accepted, many men are disconnected from their masculine presence and have stepped more into their feminine or gentler energy. Feminine radiance, on the other hand is an OPEN energy. A woman’s feminine energy is how open she feels. The opposite of this is when a woman closes, protects, withdraws and tightens. Unfortunately today many women falsely associate femininity with weakness and they have pushed down their feminine energy to step more into their masculine energy. When a woman puts on her masculine mask and picks up her

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

masculine tools, she is greatly rewarded in the workplace, and she also feels safer being more closed and less vulnerable. I speak from experience; this is where I was stuck years ago. Without many role models of women who are both powerful and fully open in their feminine energy, it’s less than easy for women to embrace their feminine radiance. With men disconnected from their masculine presence and women suppressing their feminine radiance, the energies have flipflopped. As a result, the passion has dwindled or fizzled out. When men reconnect to their true masculine presence in a way that serves their woman; and when women fully open to their feminine radiance, the polarity is quickly reignited!! Not only will this put the zing back into your intimate relationship, but when you reconnect to your true core energy, the energy surge that you will feel will rejuvenate and energize your life!

Stacey, I’ve heard you talk about the danger of living passion-less as your “normal” for your relationship. Can you speak more about that? Linda, having a relationship with a rocksolid alignment as a team AND ravishing, satisfying daily intimacy is SO rare these days that most people just accept the lack of passion and intimacy as normal. Good people, with positive intention, will often settle for just being good co-parents together so as not to rock-the-boat or disrupt the family. This sounds very noble and caring, but it’s actually quite dangerous for your relationship and your family.

Passion is the Life-Force of your relationship! Let me explain. People often come to me in one of two relationship situations: (1) They are in a caring or loving relationship but the passion has fizzled (2) Their relationship is hanging by a thread, meaning one or both partners has considered leaving the relationship. To you, those two relationships might sound like two completely different relationships, but to me, they are the exact same relationship…it’s just a timing difference. Like the difference between “salad” and “garbage”…time. As time passes, in a passion-less relationship, it becomes more and more evident that you are not having sex with the only person on the planet that you are “allowed” to do that with. The distance between you grows and the rejection, pain and resentment start to build. Eventually, you start to “go through the motions”, trying not to bump into each other too much because it’s just too painful. This is what we refer to as living “parallel lives”. People will often lead parallel lives until the thing that is keeping them together leaves (or moves out of their home) and then one or both partners finds themselves wondering “Can I really live like this for the next 50 years of my life? What should I do?” And in that moment, you realize that you are in later situation…your relationship is hanging by a thread.

you are not to please your partner”, the bandages from past pains, the twists and contortions of trying to fit into what you think other people want you to be….and finally come back to their authentic self. The ONLY way to have the rock solid alignment and ravishing sex that you want is to be your authentic self! The best and highest version of your authentic self knows exactly how to love and be loved, magnificently!

Passion is the Life-Force of your relationship! As your passion leaves you, your relationship dies! That is why I am so passionate about passion and helping you to reignite your passion for MORE than just one night!

Stacey, I’ve heard many women struggle, feeling like they had to be something they are not just to create harmony in their relationship? Is that really a part of a successful relationship? Oh NO! When I hear other experts talking about COMPROMISE and being something you’re not in order to have a successful relationship… that makes me so furious! In what universe can any relationship be labeled a success when you are not being your most authentic self?! Compromise is total crap and definitely does not create a magnificent love affair! The opposite is what is actually true! Using our 8 essentials of relationship transformation people begin the process of stripping away all the “being something

Tell us more about your proven solution – the 8 step Relationship Transformation System® and how everyone can begin transforming their relationship right now with your free gift. Our mission is that you should walk through your day, completely loved as your most authentic self, and charged up by the ravishing daily passion you enjoy with your partner! Our Relationship Transformation System® is strategically designed to empower you to create the rock solid alignment and ravishing intimacy you desire, in a very short amount of time! All in a way that your partner does not need to participate in the relationship transformation process, in order for you to enjoy the changes you want in your relationship! Download our free program and begin creating your magnificent relationship today! Join Host and Publisher Linda Joy and special guest Love and Passion Coach Stacey Martino on February 12th for a passion filled complimentary call, How to Reignite the Passion Read Online! for More than Just One Night.

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

CAREER/ BUSINESS Authenticity

in Business

“The most important thing is to

enjoy your life—to be happy— it’s all that matters.”

Audrey Hepburn

ad Re ne! li On

BY LINDA JOY

When I speak and write about creating an authentic business I speak of a business that is in alignment with and reflects the mission, values and personality of YOU – the business owner. It is bringing who you are at your core – your values, beliefs, passions and unique gifts – to life and to your business and sharing them in a way that resonates with your truth. We are not meant to fit into cookie-cutter business or marketing molds that smother the essence of who we are.

Here are some of the signs that you are connected to your mission: • • • • •

Being in the Divine Flow Synchronicities abound Attract like-minded entrepreneurs Aligned partnership opportunities open up Feel connected to your true purpose

Read the article online.

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UPCOMING EVENTS

HOLISTIC BUSINESS

SuccessSecrets

HolisticBUSINESS 5 WAYS TO STAY HAPPY NO MATTER

WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR

BY SHELLEY RIUTTA, MSE, LPC

ecently I was getting a ride to the Seattle, WA airport by a car service and the man that was driving me was the owner of the car service. He was from Ethiopia and shared about his journey of moving to a new Country and building his business. He had a joyful Spirit and was so grateful for everything he was able to achieve with his company. He shared that many of the challenges he experienced along the way allow him to feel even more grateful and appreciative now. He talked about his first year in business how he was not making enough money to live and so he used his credit cards to tide him over until his business started making money. We shared about how many people would have quit 6 months into this kind of stressful situation. He said with a smile that he knew that if he kept going, he was going to be successful, he had faith. He is now planning on moving back to Ethiopia because he knows with the money he has saved he will have many opportunities and he can also make a difference in his country.

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TRUST THAT WHAT IS HAPPENING IS A PERFECT DIVINE UNFOLDING THAT IS LEADING YOU TO THE MANIFESTATION OF YOUR DREAMS. that she was in, I for sure was not going to make it. I knew that my maintaining positive expectation and my happiness was the ONLY way to handle it and create even greater levels of success from it.

HOW DO YOU STAY CONSISTENTLY HAPPY IN YOUR HOLISTIC BUSINESS DESPITE THE CHALLENGES YOU MAY FACE SUCH AS:

HERE ARE MY FAVORITE WAYS OF STAYING HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT IN YOUR HOLISTIC BUSINESS:

Stay in Positive Expectation – Trust having enough Clients • Not 1 that what is happening is a perfect a Workshop that isn’t filling • Having Divine Unfolding that is leading you to L aunching a program and not reaching the manifestation of your dreams. You • your expected numbers can look at what is happening and in your VA quit on short notice the moment think “Oh my gosh this is • Having a disaster, how will I reach my goals • Hwithavingyoua Client back out of working with this happening!!” I always like to use the analogy of transporting spiders Struggling with cash flow outside. Did you ever have a spider •

I remember facing one of the biggest challenges in my business and I had a family member find out about it and she started saying things like “What are you going to do about this? How can you continue when this has happened? How are you going to make it? She was frantic and reminded me of the story of Henny Penney who lamented about the “Sky if falling.” I responded and shared “Everything is going to be OK, I have a plan to address this and I KNOW everything is going to be amazing and so much good will come from this.” It was in that moment seeing her response that I knew if I went into the same energy

in your home that you lovingly tried to transport outside? Well the spider gets very distressed and thinks it’s world is falling apart when in reality it is just being transported to ultimately where it wanted to go anyway. I believe that is what it is like with us. The so called challenges that feel off track for us, may be just the key movements that need to be made to guide us to our ultimate desires.

Stay open to Divine ideas to handle the challenge you are facing – Your Spiritual Guidance is with you every step of the way as you build your Holistic Business. Divine ideas are

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He was a joy to talk to and I can see very clearly what had created his success was his consistent positive attitude that allowed him to persevere and I am sure opened even more opportunities up to him.

trying to get through to you to help you. A key to hearing these Divine ideas is to quiet your mind. Divine ideas are like a whisper and need silence for you to hear them clearly. Quiet your mind to get amazing guidance of how to handle your challenge. This also has the added benefit of helping you not feel so alone!

Reach out for Healthy, Positive support – When we face a challenge it is easy to withdraw and isolate. This gets us stuck even more. It is important to reach out for healthy support. Healthy, positive support is from people who are positive and are also taking risks to create the Holistic Business of their dreams. You do not want to reach out for support from other Holistic Practitioners who are struggling and not making effort to grow and expand in their Holistic Business. Know that your Happy state will allow the best solutions to come forward – Years ago when I was creating the Joy work that I teach in my Certification Training programs I was working as a Holistic Psychotherapist at a Native American Tribe. One day we had a meeting to come up with a solution for a challenging issue with our team. Because of my study of joy I knew that if we started the meeting in a more joyful state we would be able to come up with a higher quality solution in a shorter amount of time. I suggested that we start the meeting by telling jokes to raise the vibration. Everyone was game to do that, so we spent 5 minutes telling jokes and laughing. Then we moved into discussing the

issue at hand. Amazingingly we were able to come up with a fabulous solution in 10 minutes. Which left the rest of the time allotted for us to tell more jokes. So from now on when faced with a business challenge before you try to come up with a solution, get happy first before you work on solutions!

Stay focused on your End Goal – Have complete faith that you will achieve the goal that you want to achieve in your business. It can be your goal for this year, or the ultimate goal in your Holistic Business. Whenever I am faced with a challenge in my business I close my eyes and think of my goal in my business and move into the feeling “This goal that I am moving towards is a done deal and this is just a blip on the radar that has no impact on the final outcome.” I always believe our dreams are always complete in Divine Mind and if we stay focused on that truth, there is really nothing that can keep us from being happy in our business! Read Online!

Shelley Ruitta, MSE LPC - Shelley is the founder and President of the Global Association of Holistic Psychotherapy and Coaching, and creator of a 6-Figure Holistic Psychotherapy Practice. After experiencing great success with holistic techniques in her own practice, she launched the Global Association of Holistic Psychotherapy and Coaching (GAHP) which supports Therapists, Healers, Coaches and Health Practitioners to learn more about holistic methods and develop their own 6-Figure Holistic Practices. Get your free Holistic Practice Building Kit at www.thegahp.com.

www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2015

BY JEANNA GABELLINI

verything you do is a practice. Got a messy house? It’s a practice. Always find yourself needing to make more money? That’s a practice, too. If you pay attention, you’ll notice that throughout your day most of your actions and thoughts are habitual. And often, that’s not a good thing! If you practice something for a few weeks (or even a few days!) it can become a dominant vibration. You’ll attract more of the thoughts and actions you practice. For instance, I noticed that on Mondays I ease into my workday by going through my email inbox. I don’t usually take any appointments on Mondays; therefore it’s a spacious day and designed to work on projects. It was not a conscious decision to automatically dive into email every morning and get sidetracked for hours answering them. This is how easy it is to get set with a behavior. It works the same way with attracting abundance!

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Practice Abundance for More Revenue

You’ve heard that it takes 21 days of repeating an action or a thought before it becomes a habit, right? Well, how many habits do you have? Which ones help you attract profit? Which ones just suck up your time? Which ones literally work against you?

HABITS THAT SUCK UP MY TIME: I stopped some of these years ago when I took inventory of my habits and discovered that what I found ticked me off! email too many times • Ca hecking day

Take time to do a little self-check right now. If you don’t, you probably have a habit of not taking time out to create powerful new habits.

eading almost every joke that • Rgets sent to me via email from my family

I’ll give you some examples from my own life …

earing articles/recipes out of • Tmagazines and then having to

HABITS THAT SUPPORT MY ABUNDANCE AND PEACE OF MIND:

• Walking • Mastermind meetings • Weekly business meetings • Delegating work to my fabulous VA’s my intentions for each • Sdayetting (I do a minimum of 6. I use

Stephen Covey’s 6 Big Rocks formula) Scripting out my business goals (writing stories about my goals, as if they’ve already manifested.) Tracking my income/expenses Breathing purposefully Going to the gym Creating specific goals in all areas of my life Having structures in my life that keep me accountable to my goals Listening to uplifting CDs Checking email only 3 times a day

•

file them

eading aviation articles that I • Rknow don’t impact me eading accident reports for • Rskydiving (I used to skydive every weekend)

HABITS THAT WORK AGAINST ME: Notice that many of these habits have transformed into habits that work for me, above.

• • • • • • • 98

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aking business plans without • Maccountability

• Not forecasting with my finances eing complacent about my • Bteam’s performance • Not delegating enough orrying about not making my • Wtargets • Not trusting

ot being clear with my team • Nabout my deadlines

ezine (used to drive my team bonkers!)

until after 6pm to go to • Wtheaiting gym • Not taking time to read books • A messy desk

Habitual behavior is a direct result of your thoughts. For instance, if you constantly worry about not having enough money, you’ll begin profit sabotaging behaviors. But if you decide you are sick and tired of worrying about having enough money, you can intentionally begin to practice empowering habits around money. Every time you accidently slip into worry, consciously get your mind to focus on a visual of you rolling in money (doesn’t that sound fun?!). Next, you could set up a minimum of two new habits to practice that will support the vision of you being surrounded in piles of cash. Your new habits can be big or small. Your frame of mind and personality will dictate what is best for you at this moment. I like to incorporate small and big habits when I want to increase my abundance. The small habits keep you grounded on a daily basis and are easy to accomplish, which increases your confidence. The big habits create change quick. They are defining. For instance, ten years ago my business hit a big slump and I acquired a lot of debt. It felt out of my control, so I took charge and shredded all of my credit cards except my American Express business account.

Nine months later I was completely out of debt and I had doubled my income! Small practices led to huge results (thank goodness!). Now … back to you. Which habits are you willing to drop right this moment? Choose two. If you feel apprehensive about letting them go, ask yourself what is possible by letting them go. You want to get connected to the impact these practices have in your life. Now choose two to three new empowering habits that will serve your goal of abundance. Decide how you’ll you stick to practicing these new habits while they are in progress. By the way, all habits are your choice. Good, bad or ugly … you are the one that practices them. You can change them at any given moment. Do something different. Baby steps lead to avalanches of revenue.

Read Online!

Jenna Gabellini - Jeanna is a Master Business Coach who supports conscious entrepreneurs to double (and even triple) their profits by leveraging attraction principles, proven strategies and fun. Grab her Map to Profits, the visual map of how she tripled her income in less than a year with ease and FUN! You’re also going to get your own visual map to fill in with your most important HELL YESES for this year. If it’s not a HELL YES, it doesn’t go on your map! Get your Map to Profits HERE.

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until the last minute to • Wgetaiting the articles to my VA for my

That was powerful for me and it affirmed my commitment to my new revenue goal. I also created spreadsheets that tracked my income and my debt balances. This was a big deal for me to create, but a small thing to fill in every week. I began the practice of over delivering to my clients.