Intimate Relationships

love and one that describes both compassion and mercy. There is also love to one supreme God.

There are psychological theories of love by different psychologists and psychiatrists. Sigmund Freud had an early theory on love, where he believed that engagement of the ego was related to the ability of love. According to Maslow’s hierarchy, self-actualization at the top of the hierarchy indicates someone who is capable of love. Rubin identified the difference between liking and love, with love having the components of caring, attachment, and intimacy. According to Sternberg, intimacy is the most important factor in attaining love. Sternberg identified several forms of love that involved different combinations of intimacy, passion, and commitment. Currently Sternberg’s triangular theory of love is most accepted.

INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS

Intimate relationships involve, of course, some level of intimacy. There are certain neuroanatomical theories on why humans are intimate. Components of love are romantic love, attachment, lust, and rejection as part of love.

As mentioned, attachment is a big part of intimacy. It helps to initiate preferences in a partner. Most monogamous relationships are exclusive and involve a desire to share responsibilities of parenting. Studies on animals show that dopamine in the ventromedial area, nucleus accumbens, and prefrontal cortex gets activated, which leads to activation of reward systems in the brain.

Oxytocin is more important in female intimacy and less important in males, whereas arginine vasopressin is a major component of mate selection and pair bonding in males. Both males and females will activate the dopamine system. There are also oxytocin receptors in the prefrontal cortex and arginine vasopressin receptors in the ventral pallidum.

Romantic love involves attention to a specific person. Studies have shown that the right ventral tegmental area of the brain is activated when a person sees a picture of someone they love. Dopamine is released by other parts of the brain as part of a reward system.

The limbic system involves the hippocampus, amygdala, hypothalamus, and temporal lobes. These areas are involved in processing emotions, motivation, and the development of memory. Both oxytocin and vasopressin are released by the hypothalamus as part of bonding and romantic love. Figure 12 shows the limbic system, which is deep within the brain:

Figure 12.

Lust is also part of libido, which is the pursuit of sexual gratification. The endocrine system, which includes the hypothalamus-pituitary-gonadal axis and the hypothalamicpituitary-adrenal access are partly responsible for sexual priming and the stress response. Activation of steroid hormones helps to drive social attachment and partner preference when it comes to sex. Dopamine, as mentioned, is part of the reward system. Different parts of the brain are activated when it comes to romantic love and lust.

Separation from a loved one or rejection by a love interest can lead to depression. There will be hypothalamic dysfunction with loss of eating and sleeping. Anhedonia or lack of interest in things is related to the amygdala and the ventral striatum. In actuality, many areas of the brain shut down after rejection by a loved one. There is ongoing involvement of the reward system, which can lead to stalking behaviors and obsession.

Love tends to activate the same neural pathways as addictive drugs like cocaine. The dopamine reward system gets activated suggesting that love is addictive. Brain activity has been studied, showing activation of the same pathways as those people addicted to cocaine

The emotional processing center, the amygdala, is more activated in the left hemisphere in women and the right hemisphere in men. Emotional processing then is considered generally gender specific. Different areas of the brain are activated when emotions are part of an intimate relationship.

Jealousy stems from insecurity in a relationship. It can lead to abuse and violence in extreme situations. Sexual infidelity activates different parts of the brain in men and women. Men have more amygdala stimulation, while women have more stimulation of the thalamus and visual cortex. This may explain why aggression is part of sexual infidelity and jealousy in males. In cases of emotional infidelity in women, there is an increased connection to trust and deception related to the other partner.

An intimate relationship involves both some type of emotional and physical intimacy. It is generally a sexual relationship but does not always have to be. There is emotional intimacy, involving liking or loving, and physical intimacy, which involves sexual activity or passionate attachment. The desire for intimacy is innate in humans and gets satisfied through having intimate relationships.

Intimacy is a feeling. It involves having a close and personal connection to others as well as a sense of belonging. It is gathered through the knowledge and overall experience with another person or people. There needs to be some type of vulnerability, reciprocity, dialogue, and transparency with another. What intimacy means depends on the person and their relationship. Successful intimacy involves being both separate and attached to another. In other words, there must be self-differentiation.