BEWARE THE SEAL, BEWARE THE GOAT

BEWARE THE SEAL,

BEWARE THE GOAT BEWARE THE SEAL,

BEWARE THE GOAT

Alright you yerba mate consuming while crying, stripper deciding, stressed induced fuckers, I’ve decided to come out of the dark, depressing hole that I call my room to bring you to something that’ll make you reconsider forking over 60k to this place.

Everyone and their mother knows about the traditions of St. Edward’s University. One of the main things that they beat us over the head with is to never, under any circumstances walk over the school’s seal in the courtyard outside of ragsdale.

For every single occupation that people have visited St. Edward’s, whether it be for college visits, orientation or anchors, we’ve been conditioned to never walk over the seal. Why’s that? Why do they always tell us to never step on it?

Any logical person will tell you that they don’t want the seal to get dirty or that the foundation is weak and each step will cause it to sink. But you’re not here to hear any of that, cause then what’s the purpose of you reading this?

I’m here to talk about the ‘alternative’ and frankly way more logical idea about the seal. Let’s begin shall we?

The reason we aren’t allowed to walk on the seal is because if we do, a secret society within St. Edward’s will take you away and turn you into a goat to be paraded around events.

Now why would say this?

Well think about it, do you see anybody after they step on that fucking thing? NO! You don’t, it’s like they just disappeared into thin air. reason why they don’t want anyone stepping on the seal.

Toppers up y’all.

I remember walking to rags after class and I saw this woman, probably a Karen, who walked over the seal like no-one’s damn business. I was slacked jaw and looked around to see if anyone else was shocked. No one, and I mean no one blinked an eye. It boggles my mind, if this is one of our most valued traditions, why didn’t anyone stop her?

After that, I never saw her on campus ever again. I guess that’s what she gets for trying to talk to the manager.

Anyway, I have a feeling that the secret society discreetly takes them away to a location that is barely touched by the rest of society, probs East Hall, turns them into a goat, and keep them there until there’s an event. So, there you go, that’s the real